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possumsandprose · 1 year

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Elriel Day 1

This story doesn't contain any of the spoilers I posted (I figured since it was so close, spoiling it would be pointless), but I hope you all enjoy! I'd love to hear your thoughts, so please comment or drop me an ask. This is my first time writing something like this, so constructive criticism is definitely welcomed.

Word count: 1.5K

TW: depression, mentions of Az's abuse as a child

Azriel was running late. He knew he should have left sooner, but then Cassian had started pestering him about why he was in such a hurry to leave training and now Elain would be waiting. He sighed. At least he would still get to see her today, he thought, it would definitely be the highlight of his week. It had all started when he had accidentally come across her at his favourite cafe, and she had stopped to talk with him. They had ended up talking for an hour, before Elain sadly had to leave to meet an elderly fae whose garden she was now caring for. But before she had gone, she had blushingly asked if he wanted to meet up again. He knew it was a risk, given that Rhys could easily have gotten wind of it and had his hide, but he couldn't say no to Elain's doe brown eyes watching him hopefully. So, they agreed to start meeting in the garden. Ever since then, for the past 3 months, they had been conducting secret meetings in Elain's gardens, where they would walk and talk about whatever they wished. They had grown close over that time, Elain opening up to him about things he was pretty sure she'd never told anyone else. In return, he had told her secrets from his life, of which he had many. Though nothing about his childhood. Perhaps soon he would delve into it, but he wasn't sure how she'd take it. He landed next to the large fountain in the middle, and Elain was sitting nearby, carefully pruning the roses.

"Azriel!" She squealed in delight, jumping up and hugging him.

He hugged her back, revelling in the fact that he could touch her here and now, even if it was forbidden. They began to walk, Elain speaking about her life, and her gardens, and the new recipes she was trying. She spoke about Nyx, whom she often babysat, and how he was growing, and had even begun to start gliding on his little wings. Az talked of his trips, of the interesting places he had visited, and she listened with rapt attention.

"Can I ask you something?" she said, and he detected a slight sense of nervousness in her voice.

"Anything, my lady," he replied, wondering what she would say. They had broached sensitive topics before, and he guessed they were about to now, but he wasn't sure what warranted the fear on her scent.

"Do you...do you ever feel like you miss the sunshine, even when you're standing right out in it? Do you ever feel trapped, even when flying in the open sky? Do you ever wonder what purpose there is for being alive, even when you are surrounded by people who love you?" He had not been expecting this, and was beginning to formulate an answer, but Elain wasn't finished.

"I love my life here, I truly do, and I have so many things to be grateful for. But...I feel trapped. Trapped by the expectations of my sisters, by the rules put in place in the life I was never allowed a say in, by the mating bond I never asked for but seemed forced to accept, and by my own insecurities. Sometimes I wonder what my purpose is, if all I'll ever do is tend to my little gardens for the rest of my immortal life. I love my family very much, but I have always been the odd one out. My sisters are happily mated, Nesta to the general of armies, while she herself trains female warriors and wields the power of Death itself, and Feyre to the most powerful High Lord in history, blessed by the magic of all 7, and she's already started a family. And I...I cannot fight. I have magic, but no idea how to use it. I cannot wield a sword, I cannot lead an army, I cannot govern a land, I cannot even be a good spouse, for it seems my only option is a male I do not love."

Tears were starting to pour down her cheeks now, and Az sat down and hugged her while she continued speaking after burying her head in his chest.

"I know all of you will love me no matter what, but I wish I could do something to make myself worthwhile. My skills are trivial and useless, and even though Nesta has offered to train me, I have no desire to do so. But it seems...it seems if I want to fit in, that's all there is."

Elain finished her speech, and was now fully sobbing into his chest, her small body shaking against him. He knew that it had taken a lot of courage for her to share this with him, and the fact she shared something so personal with him touched him deeply.

"I know how you feel. When I was a boy, all I ever knew was darkness, the darkness of the cellar, and the pain inflicted by my father and stepbrothers. I prayed to the Mother and whatever gods would listen that they would grant me light, sunshine, a way out. When the shadows began whispering to me, shortly after my hands were burned, I realized this could be my way out. Whatever deities rest above the clouds had bestowed me with good fortune, and finally I would be free. But it was not as I had imagined. When my father dragged me out, he threw me into the Illyrian camps, a bastard born nobody who couldn't even fly and had magic he didn't know how to use. But Rhys' mother took me in, and she was kind to me. Under her care, I learned how to wield what power I had been given, and I met Rhys and Cassian, my true family. But even then, still I was different. As a high fae, Rhys had magic, but he was the only one besides me. I felt perpetually out of place, and often I still do.

“But you know, over my 5 centuries on this earth, I've learned that it's okay to be different. To defy expectations. To life your own life. You don't have to be the woman your sisters expect you to be if you don't want to. You don't have to mate yourself to Lucien if you don't love him. You most certainly don't need to be a fighter or anything like it in order to be worth something. Everyone has different strengths, and personally I think the fact that you're different makes you more interesting. Your skills aren't useless-after all, behind every single warrior is someone who keeps them healthy, and the fact that you can cook, clean, and garden gives you a set of tools I'm pretty sure no Illyrian male has ever possessed."

That got a small giggle out of her, and her tears had stopped. She was looking up at him, and though her eyes were red and puffy, she had a small smile on her face, and Az didn't think she'd ever looked more beautiful.

"Your sisters are wonderful, amazing females, but you are not your sisters, nor are you supposed to be. You can be a wonderful, amazing female in your own way, and I think you already are. And you are always deserving of love, no matter what path of life you choose to take." Elain hugged him tightly as he finished, and he hugged her back, kissing the top of her head, wings cocooning them together, shielding them from the outside world.

"Thank you. Your words, your story...it means a great deal that you trust me enough to share it with me. And for what it's worth, I care for you a great deal. I know it can't have been easy for you, even as an adult, but if you ever feel like no one cares...I will always care for you. No matter what. You've become my best friend, my confidant, my support, and it means everything to me. In a time where I had no one and nothing, you were there, and for that I can never truly express my gratitude."

But she didn't have to. And they both knew it, the bond between them that had formed over the course of their meetings, the one that Rhys had tried so hard to stop, it had grown unbreakable, and it would be impossible to hide for much longer. Through the course of their secret meetings, and through the shy glances and restricted touches that passed between them when they were together in the presence of family, they had found each other, perhaps not mates, but with a different kind of bond. And for them, that was enough.

A/N: We don't really know much about Elain, so I kind of projected the beliefs of some people in this fandom (that in order to be an interesting fantasy heroine you have to be some sort of war queen, which personally I think is a way overused trope in YA fantasy, so whenever SJM finally cranks out ACOTAR 5, I really hope she doesn't take Elain down the same route) as her own thoughts about herself, however as this is a very much pro-Elain blog I agree with Az here. Being different is a good thing, and having different hobbies and skillsets than others is often more interesting.

Taglist: @elriel-month

#elriel #elain x azriel #elriel fanfiction #pro elriel #elrielmonth23 #elriel month 2023

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stacotto · 1 year

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*Inhale for four, exhale for four* Alright, let's get into it.

Guess we'll just start at the start, Asticassia is far more wrecked than we could see at the end of episode 20, death count is probably in the scores if not hundreds, and the survivors are basically in a refugee camp. Earth House and Suletta out here doing their best to make everyone comfortable, which automatically makes them the GOAT house. Petra's alive...ish! Mio's President now, for whatever that's worth, Quinharbor is a bombed-out crater, and those slimy Peil crones somehow managed to once again pull the "we didn't know this unethical thing was being done right beneath our noses" card (even if they really didn't know until someone else told them, I wouldn't put it past them to want a piece of that pie). More on them later.

The meeting between Earth House, Guston, and Belmeria is a perfect example of what I like to see in an infodump; nothing is said that characters in the room should already know, everything is news to someone. I really really dig now Suletta handled relaying her nature as a clone, and maybe feeling a little smug that my headcanon that those flashes of Eri's memories of the Vanadis Incident really were a full memory share between the two. And of course, Suletta understanding that there is probably no reasoning with Prospera, but no unnecessary angst beyond that. I like it, it's refreshing. Also hot damn, we've been theorizing about a "Caliban" Gundam for months and this is not what any of us expected but I'm not complaining; it really is thematically appropriate that Prospera's creation would be piloting the machine named after Prospero's servant.

Now to the real spectacle of the episode: The Space Assembly League charging headfirst into something they should know could not possibly end well. To paraphrase what I've been saying about Quiet Zero ever since episode 16; "You may have your guns, but I control all the triggers". You literally cannot fight against it with any conventional weapon. The only way to fight against the QZ Data Storm network is with a Gundam of your own, and Sophie Pulone showed us exactly why even that is a toss-up. The more I think about it, the more I feel we're building up to a reveal that Suletta may have actually inherited her sister's affinity to the Data Storm, it just might need a little push to fully manifest.

Miorine really cannot catch a break here. She may be President, but that pales in comparison to the world falling apart around her. Quinharbor is in ruins. Her father is still in a coma. The League has popular support to dismantle the Group by force. It's really telling that Sarius is the one telling her "Look, I'll take the L on this, you keep the Group together" but she completely refuses to sacrifice anyone else, one of my favorite tropes when done well. It'll be interesting to see what her next move is.

Ah, Elan Ceres Number 5. Curious as to how he went from Ur's cockpit to sneaking around Asticassia but that's neither here nor there; he's finally given up the act (and genuinely apologized to Suletta, that was good) and is joining up with the heroes for the final act, which I appreciate. He says "no Gundam" which does pique my curiosity as to how he's going to contribute - Enhanced Persons are no doubt chosen by the Peil AI for piloting skill, so I doubt that he won't be piloting period - but I do get the distinct feeling that he's going to pay the CEOs and Elan Prime a visit...with bullets.

Welp, guess we know who's piloting the Schwarzette whenever that comes up now; Lauda about to follow in the infamous footsteps of one "Graze" Ein Dalton. I do kinda hope that someone can snap him out of it before it's too late; most likely candidate is probably Petra if she can wake up soon, given that A) He's definitely going to try and kill Miorine, so that knocks her out, B) there's no way he's going to listen to Guel after learning he's the one who killed Vim (even if it was by accident in self-defense), and C) Suletta is still the "Mercurian Wench who ruined everything" in his eyes. If he can't be reasoned with, Guel's probably going to have to kill him, I'll put my chips on that.

We in the endgame now.

#mobile suit gundam the witch from mercury #g-witch #g witch #suletta mercury #the witch from mercury #g-witch spoilers #miorine rembran #prospera mercury

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rudjedet · 1 year

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Oh hey! Another anosmic! So rare to see. I'll admit, I can smell now, but I was definitely born without the ability to do so.

My parents didn't notice it until I was 5 and I couldn't smell Vick's VapoRub, but they quickly found me like, the only anosmia clinic in the country and the first in the world, Dr. Henkin's Taste and Smell Clinic. It was and is unlike any clinic I've been to. They had rows of brown glass bottles of (probably) pungent liquids, they would collect saliva from you using name-brand lemon juice, you would get your blood drawn monthly in the doctor's own office, a little closet-sized room stacked floor to ceiling with binders. (Maybe this description is just showing how privileged i am) Anyway he treated me with an athsma medicine for 3-4 years and it indeed worked.

The first thing I smelled was my mom's minty breath after she brushed her teeth. Not having any frame of reference, I called it stinky lol

I've found smell to be a very valuable sense, and I'm eternally grateful to Henkin and his colleagues. When I was maybe 10 I was camping with my father and my sister, and me and my sister were in a tent together with a space heater. Had I not smelled the space heater burning my sister's blanket, we both could have been seriously burned.

About your question, I've never noticed distinctly different smells coming from anyone I know. Sweat smells the same on everybody, farts can smell a little different based on diet, same goes for mouth smell, we all sort of smell the same. The closest I can think of to "people's scents smell different" is people mistaking the idea of cologne or perfume for something like animal musk, which it Is Not.

But then again I do have those anonymized MRIs floating around the clinic's website, so maybe my sense of smell isn't exactly normal lmao

Oh that's cool! Based on all the responses, whether or not you can smell other people (and even whether sugar granulate has a scent) seems to be highly dependent on a ton of factors. Perfume and other hygiene products is one thing, but there's definitely people saying they can recognise certain people under certain circumstances based on their scent.

Most of you weren't around for this, but during my second pregnancy I suddenly started being able to smell (and this was the thing that made me side eye my uterus because I hadn't done a pregnancy test at that point yet). The first whiff of something I caught was the window cleaner I was using at work. It smelled vaguely sweet, and it was such a weird experience. The next morning I visited bestie and we tore open her spices cabinet just shoving anything and everything into my nostrils. I could mostly get the pungent stuff like paprika and dried ginger. Two weeks later we were out for ramen and that's when I recognised my first smell without knowing what it was beforehand (the ginger in the gyoza).

I lost that baby and the smelling went away again, but for my last pregnancy the same thing happened. Unfortunately what also happened is that I ended up with pregnancy rhinitis and hay fever (hubs has hay fever and our kiddo does too, so throughout pregnancy I was suffering thanks to his overly excited immune system copying onto baby), so there wasn't much smelling going on during the pregnancy itself. It did persist for about 6 months post-partum, and I did find out that if I keep my dust allergy under control with antihistamines, I can sort of smell again once my ovulation rolls around.

Interestingly and opposite you, my immediate response to any scent is "oh wow that's nice!", I guess just because I can even smell it lmao. But once I get used to them, there's room for nuance. My favourite scents are ginger, properly aged cheese, and my daughter. I will say I once walked into a group of old humans (choir practice, lmao) and... didn't like it, it was this uncomfortable wall of something undefinable. Dirty diapers are ... oddly minty? I wouldn't classify it as a "stink" but it's a scent that definitely lingers.

The thing with human personal scents and why I operated on the notion that all humans in general would be able to recognise someone based on scent is part having smelled my own kid before and hearing a lot of mums say they love the scents of their children, part knowing that perfume does tend to travel across larger distances, part being told that I have a pretty present personal scent, part being autistic and having overactive other senses and thus thinking "well scent would be the same then wouldn't it", and part just... not having any direct experience with it lmao. As with everything scent-related everyone's replies have all been extremely elucidating, just like the time I ended up hyperfocussing on perfumes.

#me soaking this up like a sponge and utilising it in my writing

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bookwyrminspiration · 2 years

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Keeper Timeline (Sans Stellarlune)

Since not everyone has read Stellarlune yet, @sunscribes requested a version of this timeline free of spoilers, so here it is! It's practically identical to the other, so don't worry on missing out on anything!

Summary: The keeper series takes place over the course of almost 2 1/2 years. The longest book is book one, which takes 9 months, and the shortest (excluding Unlocked) is book 8, which takes 3 weeks.

I've included the time in each book (highlighted in blue), when notable events (I've likely skipped a few) happen, and the time between each book. My notes are more in depth, so if you have specific questions feel free to ask--though I cannot promise I'll be able to answer them.

Book 1: 9 months long. Week 1, Sophie leaves her family and starts Foxfire. 2 months in, she gets Iggy and wins the Splotching Tournament. 4 months in are midterms. 5 1/2 months in she has her first tribunal. 7 1/2 months in is her allergy incident and her adoption cancellation. 8 months in she's kidnapped for ten days. 8 months and 3 weeks in is her second tribunal and her adoption by Grady and Edaline.

There is an estimated 3 month interim.

Book 2: 5 weeks. Week 1, Silveny is found, the Ruewens visit Brant, and the kids practice for the opening ceremonies. Week 2, Sophie and Alden visit Exile, Foxfire has its ceremonies, and Alden's mind breaks. Beginning of week 3, Foxfire starts; end of week 3 is Alden's planting. Beginning of week 4, Sophie and Keefe go to the Black Swan hideout to fix her, learn she can teleport, and she heals Alden the next day. Week 5, the Celestial Festival where Silveny enters the Sanctuary.

There is a 2 week interim.

Book 3: almost 4 weeks. Week 1, Fintan is healed and Kenric dies with the funeral a few days later. Week 3, Sophie is given her restricting circlet. Mid week 4 is the final confrontation with Brant and Mount Everest.

There is an estimated 1 day interim.

Book 4: almost 6 weeks. Day 1, the kotlcrew join the Black Swan. Week 2, Sophie and Keefe attempt to trick information out of Gethen. Week 3, they attempt to break into Exile, fail, and instead exchange Gethen for Prentice. Week 4, they begin attending Exillium and meet Tam and Linh. Week 5, Silveny is revealed to be pregnant. Week 6, they storm Ravagog and Keefe runs away.

There is a 3 week interim.

Book 5: 4 weeks. Day 1, Keefe explodes Foxfire. Day 2, a small group revisits where Dex and Sophie were taken and tortured. The end of week 1, the famous sleepover and Wylie's kidnapping/torture. Week 3, Sophie, Forkle, and Oralie visit Gethen. Week 4, Sophie manifests as an enhancer; the next day Tam, Fitz, and Sophie confront the Neverseen (and Keefe), and the treaty negotiations are the day after that, killing Forkle. At the end of week 4, Sophie visits her human family to find them missing.

There is no interim.

Book 6: 4 1/2 months. Day 1, Sophie's sister moves to the Lost Cities. Week 1, Forkle twin reveal, Marella's pyrokinesis reveal, visiting King Dimitar (Keefe spars), introducing Ro, and the storming of the first Nightfall (recovering Alvar). Week 2, Foxfire starts. Week 4, Prentice is healed. Week 5, Vespera's name is revealed. Sophie then spends 3 months as a "zombie-girl." 4 months and 1 week in, the second Nightfall is found and raided, the Atlantis forcefield broken, and her parents recovered. 4 1/2 months in, Amy leaves, and it's found alvar has no memories.

There is a "weeks" long interim, which I've reasoned to be about 3 1/2 months long. This is based in logic but is, however, unverified.

Book 7: about 8 1/2 weeks. Day 1, Alvar's trial, Sophie and Fitz are attacked and put in the Healing Center. Week 2, Sophie begins her skill training with Keefe. At the beginning of week 3, Fitz is woken, and at the end of the week they leave the Healing Center. Week 5, Silveny gives birth to the alicorn twins. Week 6, Sophie and Fitz meet with Fintan, where he reveals something to do with the Celestial Festival. Week 7, the Celestial Festival fight happens (troll hive), and Tam is kidnapped. About a week and a half later, Sophie learns she's unmatchable.

There is a 9 day interim.

Book 8: 3 weeks. The beginning of week 1, Team Valiant is formed and Amy/Sophie recover erased memories. The end of week 1, Sophie has her abilities reset after a meeting with King Enki. Mid week 2 is when Fitz gives Sophie the infamous painting. The beginning of week 3, Sophie learns Oralie is her mother, finds Alvar at Candleshade, and breaks up with Fitz. Mid week 3 is the battle of Loamnore (Keefe unconscious, King Enki betrayal, Tam reunited, Glimmer, etc.). At the end of week 3 Oralie approaches Sophie to open her cache.

There is no interim.

Book 8.5: 3 days. Day 1, Oralie's cache is opened, Keefe wakes, and Sophie is told to stay away. Day 2, Fitz tells Sophie to reach out to Keefe telepathically. Day 3, the Dizznee's and Elwin try to help Keefe, Sophie and a few others (with Glimmer) go to the storehouse, she burns it down, and Keefe leaves again.

Again, this isn't perfect and I'm capable of error, but I hope this helps! I tried to keep this as identical to the other as possible so if you need this version, you don't feel like you're missing anything :)

#kotlc timeline #i meant to post this sooner but got caught up in something #but now it's here!#spoiler free version :)#now we can all stare in bafflement over how quickly some of these books happened #while I sit in the background questioning all my math #also this version actually includes ro's introduction #i added that into the first one #but it definitely got reblogged a bunch before I realized I'd omitted that #oh well. it's fine

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somethingusefulfromflorida · 1 year

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I was spoiled last summer because I got to go on 3 trips, essentially 3 vacations, the first vacations I'd taken since my cousin's wedding in 2018.

For my birthday in May, I went to Busch Gardens and a youtuber boxing match with some friends. In June I went to a week-long family reunion in DC, Maryland and Pennsylvania; we had a memorial for my Grammy who passed away in 2021, visited some of my mom's cousins I'd never met before, spent a whole day at Six Flags America with my own cousins, and toured the National Mall/Smithsonian. In August, I had a longshot job interview at a library in the city I want to move to, so I took time off work to bus up, crashed with my sister, and aced the first round with flying colors; I spent a congratulatory week in town looking for an apartment, then headed home with some promising leads and absolutely BOMBED the second round, evaporating my best chance at getting off the godforsaken rock I've been stuck on since I graduated college.

This year, I don't have any real plans. I finally bought my own car, but now I have to start the whole job and apartment search from square one with severely diminished savings. I wanted to quit my current job last weekend, but I chickened out because I need the money. If I leave sometime this summer and find an apartment to sublease, I'd have to move out in August anyway because all the leases expire just in time for the fall semester. Move-out and move-in are a week or two apart, so I'd have to come back home anyway while I was between leases, assuming I was even able to secure a full year lease when I'm competing with something like fifty thousand college students in a town with a population of less than 150,000. It seems like every new building being constructed up there is an apartment complex, but they fill up almost immediately and rent never goes down.

I can't stay in the Keys much longer. There's nothing for me down here. If I can't move until August, I at least need to take a break from work and travel before my student loans inevitably come due because the nazi bastards on SCOTUS think only rich fucks deserve debt forgiveness and the measly poors have to prop them up. I want to enjoy my summer, because it's all downhill from here. The economy is on the verge of collapse and we're heading into another dumpster fire of a presidential election (it feels like every cycle is worse than the last). I need a distraction. I need an outlet. I need to take advantage of the freedom my car affords me before shit hits the fan and I'm forced to come crawling back to a job I barely tolerate on an island I despise with every fiber of my being. If I don't get out soon, I don't know when I'll get my next shot.

Next April I'm going on a roadtrip to Ohio to view the total solar eclipse, so I at least have that to look forward to if nothing else. Just 11 months to go.

Who am I kidding? I won't survive down here another year. This place is eroding my mental health. It is absolutely imperative that I move before summer ends, lease or no lease. I'd rather live out of my car for a while than be stuck here indefinitely.

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mixdgrlproblems · 1 year

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View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Mixed Girl Problems (@mixdgrlprblems)

instagram

Unfortunately IG has made it more difficult to share posts to Tumblr and Twitter, what's up with that? I'm still active!

April's #newprofilepic winner is... @siah.bb! "Hi💐🌸I’m Siah. My ethnicity is #Black #Nicaraguan #NativeAmerican #French & #Irish! A bunch more that my grandma would tell me but that’s all I know.

My biggest #mixedgirlproblem is feeling less connected to my Nicaraguan history. Half of what makes me #mixed. I look Black for the most part and the #Hispanic part of me is there, I just don’t see it being apparent to others, so to me it feels like part of my family isn’t being acknowledged. Also, not being able to speak or understand #Spanish felt so disappointing to me. When half of my family has come from #Nicaragua. My dad grew up in Nicaragua and came here with his family earlier in his life. My #abuelita only knew Spanish, so throughout my whole middle school, high school, and beginning of college I tried my best to learn Spanish, but could never pick it up like my younger sister could. She had got to live with my abuelita more. I went to college when my abuelita moved in with our family. I wanted to be there with them but learned what I could when I visited them. #BeingHispanic and not knowing Spanish is also my #mixedgirlproblem.

One thing I Love about being a #mixedgirl is that by highlighting some features and changing others, a mixed girls looks can change dramatically. Curly beautiful hair one day, straightened and pulled back hair the next. Love a glamorous transformation💫🎀 I don’t mind getting the question "what are you mixed with?" because then I can highlight the #halfofmyheritage that isn’t obvious. It’s not something I hear often but it’s interesting to hear what people are interested in upon meeting a mixed girl."

Twitter siah_bb

TikTok siah.bby

Snapchat siah.beebs

Congratulations to her! Don't fret. I'll be choosing May's winner at the end of the month!

🏴🇺🇸🇳🇮🇫🇷🇮🇪

#mixedgirlproblems #mixedgirls

#Instagram

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brighteststar707 · 1 year

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Ohhh, are we sharing things now? I actually have plenty of great (mostly) childhood memories I tend to think about often.

In my grandma's neighborhood, there's a big line of only road and I remember how me, my sister and everyone else who had bikes there would often get out at the evening to just do circles, the wind always felt amazing and since it was summer, doing it at evening to around night was always great.

But this one night, EVERYONE had taken their bikes out. I still remember how happy I felt when I did circles with them. If I remember correctly, i wasn't able to use the bike without those protection lil wheels but that night, our neighbor next door helped me and encouraged me to keep going even though I fell down a lot. In the end? I leaned to do it without any help from those lil wheels!

I really wish I could experience that again but I know it will never happen. Some of our neighbors grandkids doesn't really visit anymore now that they are grown. And It's actually been years since I've been to my grandma's but this time, I made the decision to go there this upcoming summer! (if I pass my final exams doe sksksajdbw)

I used to go there every summer so I'm hella excited and looking forward to it. I'm also planning on working on my digital art skills and take advantage of these three months to get better with this artist friend of mine I have at school.

But even though those other kids don't visit there anymore. I'm happy that at least I have these memories of us playing plenty of games and just using our bikes.

I have so many nice memories but I'll stop here sksksk

Anna, I'm happy to see you again, it feels like it's been ages! I hope you're doing well!

That memory sounds absolutely magical, so many of you all together on your bicycles having fun. Thank you for sharing it with me! Your neighbour encouraging you to learn to ride without training wheels is so lovely, what a fun way to learn! It took me forever to learn to ride a bike without training wheels, and i still remember the feeling of riding without them for the first time. It's wonderful.

There is something so nostalgic and bittersweet about childhood memories like this, isn't there? These warm happy memories that we love dearly but cannot return to because things change.

I went though a similar feeling of nostalgia recently. I visited home for the first time in years, and was hit with a lot of emotions at once. It's always comforting to be back in places I spent a lot of time in as a small child, but at the same time it's impossible to ignore how much changes when you're not there to see it. I'm not someone who likes to stay in one place for a long time, so returning back to old memories is particularly strange for me.

Sharing in hobbies and learning skills from one another sounds really wonderful! It's one of the things I've enjoyed most about posting my writing here and making writer friends! It's also nice to be able to fully dedicate your time to developing your skills instead of having to share the time between other responsibilities.

I wish you the best of luck on your exams, hang in there! Exam season is tough, but I'm rooting for you! I hope you get to go back to your grandmother's this summer and relive at least some of those happy childhood memories.

#ask game #stormflypirateskin #by all means if you have more memories you wish to share I'd love to hear them #I love hearing about other people's experiences #and how much our lives can differ

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angeltreasure · 1 year

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Cecilia here, how are you doing? I talked with my Priest who's also my spiritual help person, he seemed to think that I should visit the sisters I went to late last month again once I have enough time off work to do so. I agree with him, I'll contact them again here soon if they don't get back to me after this week. The vocation director is a busy woman after all, and there were a lot of women at the retreat recently, like 50-75 at least. I also broke the news to my mom finally about discerning. It went better than expected, she's just confused more than against it, she was not surprised though since I've thought about religious life before and had tried to tell her. Her biggest hangup is that she might not get grandkids if I don't get married since my brother made it very clear he doesn't want kids. She kept making jokes about the Sound of Music musical saying once I'm a novice I can find a rich widower with like 7 kids and then marry him. I appreciate that it's off my chest with her, but I don't know how to broach the subject with my brother, he's now an atheist in a band out of state in a relationship with a trans woman saying he's nonbinary himself. So I'm not really sure how to tell him I'm wanting to go into religious life. Pray for my family please to come to the faith once more and that they will find it in their hearts to let me explore God's call, along with the repose of my Grandaunt and Granduncle since they passed away last week, we're going to their funeral on Monday both of them were uber Catholic, 101 and 97 respectively. God Bless.

Hello Cecilia!,

I’ll pray for you and all of those intentions! I’ve been good. I am hanging in there. I haven’t told my dad or anyone on my dad’s side yet. I wanted to on Divine Mercy Sunday but something in me said wait. My mom’s side pretty much knows. My mom is for it, and my brothers question if it’s really something I want, while some aunts don’t believe it.

Our bishop just lifted all remaining rules that coronavirus made for our diocese, so I was thrilled when I saw we could have the Precious Blood in Mass!… it will take much prayer. We have a huge parish that keeps growing more and more, it will take at least 80 new volunteers of Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion just for the blood alone to cover all of our Masses! Please pray for us that people eagerly come forward.

On May 27 I’m making my first visit to the cloister I took a ride to, just for meeting up to ask questions. They didn’t offer any overnights yet but we’ll see! The non-cloister also got in touch with me this week, so after their super busy tour of the Eucharistic Miracles displays, they will be reaching out to me one on one from across the country. I still wait for replies from the other two but I look forward to any reply with hope.

My first Rosary with my new materials was better than the Rosary making class! It did fall apart a couple of times, but my I managed to fix it. I presented it to my mom for her birthday because every day she prayers the Rosary…she has so many! One of my aunts wants me to make her one so that’s today’s little project which I’ll take pictures of. Afterwards, I’ll be making them for the poor. All I need is to assemble them and buy larger bags to place them in along with a print out of how to pray the Rosary. I have so many materials, it’s been quite exciting to plan some designs in my head.

I was Lector 1 today at Mass. My pastor gave every ministry tips/training notes. Ours was having a good pause at the end of our reading before saying “The Word of the Lord….”, and he also wants us to dress more modestly this summer. I’m excited for that, so I’ll be shopping around for cardigans and such to cover up more and be more like our lady. I have a ton of veils to mix and match. I’ll have to study next week’s readings too.

#Cecilia #asks

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dorefasolsido · 3 months

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43. Omg it's been a while

10 HOW’S

How did you get one of your scars?

Two years ago I was rollerskating with my sister and a tiny rock got stuck in my wheels, so I basically flew forward and slid headfirst into some debris. Luckily, I have plenty of experience falling on rollerskates, so there was no significant damage, but my elbows were hella scraped. So I still have a scar on one of them.

How did you celebrate your last birthday?

I didn't do anything for my birthday, really. I wasn't feeling it anyway, and one friend was celebrating her move to Germany on that day with a picnic, so I just went to that instead. But I am planning to do something for this one! I haven't received any presents in two years lol

How are you feeling at this moment?

Pretty good right now! I finished all my work for this month, so I can take a bit of a break, and thank god for that.

How did your night go last night?

Well I was working my ass off until like 1:30 AM lol. It's not that I had to, but inspiration hit hard, and I couldn't let it go to waste.

How did you do in high school?

Pretty well in the academic sense, that was never too difficult for me. Very poorly in the social sense, though I did have some friends, only one of which I am still in touch with today.

How did you get the shirt you’re wearing?

I think my mum bought it for me ages ago, it's probably from my high school days.

How often do you see your best friend?

I saw her last in 2018 since we live in different countries, and lots of things came up in the meantime that prevented us from visiting each other. I want to do that soon, though.

How much money did you spend last month?

I feel like I was more thrifty in June? Aside from the Scandinavian trip I paid for, I think I tried to contain myself a bit.

How old do you want to be when you get married?

I don't want to get married.

How old will you be at your next birthday?

I'll be 29 very soon.

9 WHAT’S

What is the most important part of your life?

Hmm, my family and my writing. I do a lot of the latter, but mostly not for myself, which is something I want to change.

What did you do last weekend?

I was working throughout the weekend (the joy of end of the month deadlines), and aside from that, nothing special. For the past week I barely even left my house because I am on a socializing break, and it's been so wonderful.

What did you last cry over?

I don't really remember tbh. But I must have cried recently because June is somehow always such a bad month for me. So I was in a pretty gloomy mood before I went on my socializing break. But that has been really healing.

What are you worried about?

About the book translation deadline lol. I'm not even halfway through, and they already asked me when I am going to deliver it. At the same time, though, I can't force myself to work on it now.

What is your mother’s name?

I'm too paranoid to answer that.

What always makes you feel better when you’re upset?

Run BTS or any BTS content really, driving around aimlessly while blasting music, those awful sweaty dance cardio workouts. And like, renewing my hair colour.

What would you rather be doing?

Right now, nothing. I'm happy I finally got to do this, since I either wasn't in the mood or was too busy for months.

What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other?

I guess what would be the most important is just understanding and respecting each other. Everything else can fall into place if those two things are there.

What did you have for breakfast?

Nothing.

EIGHT HAVE YOU’S

Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?

Oh for sure. Just recently I've texted someone I know I absolutely should have no contact with. But eh, so far so good.

Have you ever had sex on the beach?

Nope.

Have you ever been backstabbed by a friend?

I don't think I've ever been outright backstabbed, but I've had moments when I realized, yeah, this person is not my friend.

Have you ever been out of the country?

Yup.

Have you ever dated someone younger than you?

Nope.

Have you ever liked someone who already had somebody?

Well yeah, I sometimes get these platonic crushes on taken people lol. I would never do anything about it, and I genuinely think it happens because I know they are unavailable and therefore are "safe".

Have you ever been brokenhearted?

Sure have.

Have you ever read an entire book in one day?

Oh yeah, Stephen King's Carrie just last year. It's a short book and it hooked me right in, I spent the whole day in my room just reading.

SEVEN WHO’S:

Who is the last person you saw?

My sister.

Who is the last person that you texted?

My best friend.

Who called you last?

My dad, I think? But I missed the call, and he talked to my sister instead.

Who is the last person you hung out with?

Aside from my sister and grandma, no one in particular in almost two weeks. But I've had more than enough hanging out at the beginning of June.

Who did you hug last?

No idea, maybe my parents when I came home?

Who is the last person that texted you?

My best friend.

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to?

Oh I have no idea, I don't say that very often.

SIX WHERE’S:

Where does your best friend live?

In Lithuania.

Where is your favorite place to be?

Depends, but right now, I enjoy nothing more than being right here in my childhood home alone.

Where did you sleep last night?

My bed.

Where did you last hang out?

Two weeks ago I met two of my friends at one lake in Belgrade.

Where do/did you go to school?

Elementary and high school in my hometown, university in Belgrade.

Where did you last adventure to?

Well, I did quite a bit of mountain climbing at the beginning of June.

FIVE DO’S/DOES

Do you ever wish you were someone else?

Yup, quite often. Not because I hate my life or anything (well, most of the time lol), but because I would like to experience how it is to be, I don't know, a famous singer, or an astronaut, or an explorer, or all these other things. I can't do all that in this one life, I've chosen my path and I don't regret it, but still, it would be cool to have all these other experiences.

Do you think anyone despises you?

I'm not really sure. I don't think anyone full-on despises me, but I can think of at least one person who might dislike me. Yet, at the same time, she does like texting once in a while.

Do you like someone right now?

Nope.

Does the future scare you?

Eh, sometimes. It depends, sometimes I feel like I can take on anything, and sometimes I have no idea how I'll make it past 30.

Do you have any secret powers?

Not that I am aware of.

FOUR WHY’S:

Why are you best friends with your best friend(s)?

We've been there for each other through good and bad, it's easy to talk to her about anything, and we are both very different but also match really well.

Why did your parents give you the name you have?

I have no idea lol. I think my dad wanted to name me after my grandpa if I was a boy, my mum was against it, but it didn't matter anyway, because I turned out to be a girl. I mean, Mila can be seen as a shorter version of my grandpa's name, soooo, maybe that's why?

Why did you get a myspace?

I actually never had it lol.

Why are you doing this survey?

This looked fun! I like surveys that have some kind of a theme or a special style or something like that.

THREE IF’S:

If you could have one super power what would it be?

Teleportation because ho boy, I could spend a 15-minute break literally anywhere in the world.

If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?

I wouldn't after all.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be?

Germany (probably Berlin) or maybe Lisbon. Japan is high up on my list of countries I want to visit, but since I haven't gone there yet, I can't say if I'd like to live there.

TWO WOULD-YOU-EVER’S:

Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love?

Yeah, why not. I mean, hair seems like a small price to pay for someone's life.

Would you ever get back together with any of your exes if they asked you?

Hopefully not.

LAST ONE:

Are you happy with how your life has turned out?

I'm okay with it

#personal #surveys #survey

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evsvolunteerstotem · 8 months

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New year, new things

27.01.2024

Šťastný nový rok!

- Okay, to be honest, this saying comes a bit late haha but I mean it's been more than a month since I last posted here. And since then there was a turn of the year and now we're already here in 2024. Of course, at the end of last year, many things were happening too but I'll keep the topic of Christmas and New Year's Eve short, otherwise, it would get out of hand before I could even shed light on the current month.;D

To sum it up: I enjoyed a very nice Christmas holiday with my family, had the chance to see many of my friends again and to name some events - I was in the theatre, went partying, watched a movie in the cinema, went bowling and celebrated New Year's Eve together with my friends. I was pottering with my sister, enjoyed a movie night as well as going on lots of coffee dates with my girls and that's not even all…

My holidays at home were wonderful and I'm so happy that I took the chance to meet so many people again but therefore it was also busier than expected and there was definitely not enough time to relax completely. That's also what I felt when I came back to Plzeň and has probably been the reason for me to become ill right on my first day of work. :/ Gladly I only needed a bit of rest and was able to be back already the following day. The first conversations were very nice and I felt the energy everyone had for the new year. It felt good to be back in a routine and to have some order in my everyday life again.

Nevertheless, I had the feeling that it was time for some change. I mean - new year, new resolutions and new motivation to try something different, right? That's why I had some "first times" in January… Let's start with the cultural part of my life.;) This month I visited the Great Theatre in Plzeň for the first time and watched a performance of "The Nutcracker" together with my colleague Lenka. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that this was one of the best theatre visits I've had in my life so far. The costumes, the ballet performance, the stage design, the live orchestra together with the choir and the mix of original pieces with modern and humorous parts - everything was just right and I felt more than entertained during that evening. The Great Theatre itself is beautifully detailed as well as quite impressive and of course, our tickets for the next show at the beginning of February as well as in April have already been booked and I'm looking forward to being there again soon.

I also felt extremely motivated for sports in the new year. Even though I had already been active here before and had mainly done home workouts and short runs, I also wanted to try something new. So, on the one hand, I spontaneously bought some really good running shoes to motivate myself a little more to jog aaaand I also completed my first volleyball training here last week! :D This was honestly a really spontaneous thing. I played this sport for about 1 year, when I was younger and after that almost every summer at the beach or sometimes in school and I still love the combination of playing in a team and moving my body in various ways. So I thought to myself "Why not starting again? – but I think one thing that has stopped me a bit so far was the fact that this team sport also lives from communication and I was not sure if I would find one club in Plzeň where English conversation was possible too. But then I just surfed the Internet and it didn't take me long to find this cool club named "Beach Service" that offers beach volleyball training for young people as well as adults. After a short email exchange and phone call with all the information I needed, I had my first training session. It was definitely tough but enjoyable at the same time and it's so nice how the coaches always explain to me everything in English again. I'm motivated to continue with the sport and of course, I'll let you know if they already send me to the Olympics this year. ;D

This month I also met Isabelle, the new German volunteer of "Tandem", another organization here in Plzeň. Our energy matched right away and we quickly realized that we had a lot in common. At our second meeting Isabelle and I went to the cinema before we had dinner at the "Pivstro" (the best Burger place in Plzeň :D) and took a nightcap at one of my favourites - "Café Regner". We talked so much and when I arrived home I only saw the message from Isabelle saying "I just realized that we spent 6 hours together!!" - and I also thought how crazy it is that time flies by when you feel comfortable around somebody because that was exactly what I experienced with her. :)

There is also some news at work. Besides the tasks I've already had before I started a new little project outside of TOTEM. Every Tuesday I go to a school for one to two hours and join the English lesson for children between 9 and 11 years. I remember, how excited they have been and how overwhelmed I was when I first visited them. It was something completely new for me as the children of course were very energetic and boisterous- the opposite of the seniors I work with. But I've got used to it and they are also not as agitated as at our first meeting but always happy to see me haha. And I'm very happy to meet them too, because everyone is so unique and lovely and at the same time it's nice to have some more variety at work right now.

But I want to be honest with you, besides all the good and exciting things that happen, I'm not super happy all the time. I can remember how it took me a few days to get used to being here again, to have a routine again, and sometimes things at work don't go as planned and I have the feeling that I could do better. For example in the conversational lessons, when I create a video for the TOTEM YouTube channel, or during my Czech lessons when I have the perception that I should be much better in the language so far. But in those moments I often tell myself to not concentrate on the negative thoughts I have or mistakes I make but rather to focus on the good things and on the positive feedback I get. In those moments I try to be proud of everything I've not only achieved but also learned so far. I want to make my time here enjoyable and unforgettable and therefore I want to look back at my year without thinking about the negative situations but with a smile on my face and the thought that everything happened for a reason and that I'm glad for all the experiences I was able to make. :)

Picture of the snowy landscape on my way home

Santa Claus comes to visit on Christmas Eve ;D

With my girls on New Year's Eve <3

Back in Plzeň in the beautiful Great Theatre

Inauguration of my new running shoes :D

Sunset at my favourite place at the Kamený rybník

Coffee date with Isabelle;)

The most beautiful sunrise I have ever seen <3

Next month is going to be very exciting and busy and I'm already looking forward to it.

Stay tuned and see you in February Laila:)

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purplesurveys · 9 months

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1785

Do you know a James? I have a second cousin named James! He lives in New Zealand, though, and only visits home every few years. I first met him when he was a few weeks old, then the next time he was already like 10. I haven't seen him again since and I'm guessing he'll be in college or whatever the third time they come back to the Philippines.

Have you ever been to Australia? If not, would you like to? I haven't and I'd love to, but tbh it's also not really at the top of my list. I'm not really sure what I'd want to see/experience there.

Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness? Haven't been diagnosed but I'm sure I have one or two hanging out in my head lol.

If you had to choose to have a different accent than the one you have now, what accent would you choose and why? Idk, I'm fine with the accent I have.

New York or California? New York, easily.

Have you ever or do you currently live in a Gated Community? I do and always have.

Who was your last text from? An incredibly late automated OTP that I don't even need anymore.

Do you know how to use a DSLR camera? Yes, I owned one as a teenager. Tumblr made photography this super hip hipster thing in the early 2010s lol and it made me beg my dad to get me a DSLR camera, even though I didn't have a clue how to use one. Long story short I found photography boring and I ultimately passed the camera to my sister, who ended up as the one into arts.

If you had to choose one instrument to perfect, what instrument would you choose? Piano.

Have you ever owned an Axolotl? Nope.

What has been the longest amount of time you’ve spent on a plane? Bali was around 4 hours. As much as I'd love to travel the rest of the world, those 20+ hour flights PLUS LAYOVERS sound dreadful.

How often do you use Snapchat? Whoa. I haven't used Snapchat since college, around 2017ish. I remember Angela and I trying to bring it back when the pandemic had *just* started but it didn't catch on.

What does your last text say? It's just an automated message that sent me an OTP.

Have you ever played Habbo? I saw the ads like a million times but never played it.

What about Runescape? Nope.

Have you ever heard of the band Mumford & Sons? If yes, do you like their music? I have, but I've never heard anything of theirs.

Have you ever kissed anyone starting with the letter A, C, N, T or K? No.

Have you ever used Valium before? I have not.

What time is it where you’re from? 11:39 PM.

Have you ever adopted an animal from an animal shelter? Yes, Arlee was from PAWS.

Where do you usually find Surveys from? On my dash. I used to look for surveys on Bzoink, but there was a period this year where I couldn't take surveys for a couple of weeks and by the time I came back there were tons of new, interesting ones on my dash. Ever since then I've always just been playing catch-up on my feed and I haven't opened Bzoink in months now.

Australia or New Zealand? Tbh I'd rather save the money lolol I honestly don't know which one to pick and I don't find either worth the visa hassle. I guess if anything uh New Zealand? then go to the spots BTS visited from Bon Voyage hah.

Have you ever missed a flight? Never.

What is your best friend’s middle name? I'm not sharing that.

How do you feel about the passing of Aretha Franklin? I was shocked, but it didn't affect me heavily.

Did you enjoy any of her music? Can't say I was a passionate fan of her music. It's just not something I was regularly exposed to so I've been largely unfamiliar for the most part.

What is your favourite film from your childhood? Toy Story and it's still my favorite kids' movie.

Kanye West or Drake? If we're doing brutal honesty I'd go with Kanye but all the shit he's said and done equally cancels him out, so I'll go with Drake by default lol.

Do you know anyone who is named after a state? I used to work with a girl named Jersey, if that counts.

What was the reason for your previous doctor’s visit? Shots for a dog bite.

Have you ever been to an outdoor cinema? Nope. Too hot and too many flies LOL.

Have you ever had a “bad trip”? If yes, what happened? Idk if this even counts as one because I blacked out so quickly it was almost embarrassing, but what happened was I took a big puff of that cannabis vape thing after already having downed a ton of alcohol and the next thing I knew I was on my knees in the restroom and then finally carried back to my bed.

How often do you use Instagram? Everyday. I post at least one story a day; my in-feed posts are few and far between though and I only do posts if something super significant happens.

Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Yeah, a few times. It's not something I look for and I haven't done it since before the pandemic.

If so, do you still smoke? Nopes.

What are you up to tomorrow? It's my last working day before our office closes down for the holidays so while I'll be at work I'll be in a pretty damn jolly mood hahaha.

What type of questions do you like being asked during a survey? I like random questions that require more thought. It can be boring encountering what-color-is-your-blahblah all the time, and it also turns me away if questions are too hypothetical/philosophical.

Adam Sandler or Jim Carrey? Adam Sandler.

What is your favourite Ben Stiller movie? I don't have one.

What is your favourite Spotify playlist if you have one? I made a playlist called 'it's raining purple' which are essentially BTS tracks I think are perfect for when it's raining and I open my windows to let the colder air in.

Outside of playlists I've made, I have two favorites – one called 'the tannies love you' which compiles all of BTS' fan songs; and 'standing next to you' which is an SNTY-focused playlist mixed in with a bunch of Michael Jackson songs.

Firefox or Chrome? Chrome.

Do you enjoy learning about conspiracy theories? They're fun to read, yeah! You don't have to believe them; they're just stories to spice up what we already know hahaha. I was obsessed with the Avril Lavigne doppelganger case for a time.

If so, what is your favourite? ^ Oh, well that one.

Do you find hand tattoos attractive on your preferred sex? Depends on the tattoo design/style.

If you had a baby boy, what would you name him? I've always been indecisive about a main name, but I'd love for their second name to be Owen after Owen Hart.

What is your favourite Netflix original series? Is Black Mirror considered one? Let's go with that.

Have you ever owned a Tamagotchi? No, too expensive. I had bootleg ones which were just as fun :)

Do you have a favourite “survey blog” on Tumblr? If so, who? I like everyone! :) Would you rather be 10 minutes late or 20 minutes early? Depends on the situation. If it's a super super super big event with like 1,000 people and my presence doesn't matter, I'd honestly much rather be late. Otherwise I'm always early.

If you could be a member of any TV-Sitcom family, which would it be? Perfect Strangers. Would love to finally be fluent in Myposian.

Tell me about the 6th person in your contact list: College orgmate and ultimately became part of the same friend group in college. Haven't seen her in years. Terrific writer, loves cats, unfortunately shares the exact same music taste as my ex so I always shudder when she shares her song recos. Has curly hair, lives in the south, remains to be one of the few people genuinely interested in journalism and I respect her for that. Great sense of style. I miss Blanch!

Are you waiting for a text back right now? Nope.

Would you rather be able to control fire or water? Water.

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servin-up-surveys · 1 year

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survey #176

Do you think you could handle a job in the medical field? Why or why not? No. I could never handle a patient dying, and there's also a lot of gross stuff I don't want to see.

What is one electronic device you own that you have not used in a long time? A Nintendo DS Lite.

Do you prefer to play chess or checkers? I only know how to play checkers.

If you had to go an entire week without using any technology, what do you think you would spend most of your time doing instead? Reading, drawing, writing, probably exercising extra. I'm sure I'd be way, way more productive...

Would you rather travel to Asia or France? Asia, I think.

Do you prefer dark, brown or white chocolate? My preference is milk chocolate, but I also do enjoy dark. There are very few cases where I've liked white chocolate, it's too sweet.

Would you rather visit Australia, Germany, Croatia, or Jamaica? I fully intend to visit Germany at least once.

Would you prefer a pet rat, mouse, snake, lizard or spider? If I could only pick one to have period, snake. At this moment though, like what I most want to add to my family now, is a tarantula, either a Brazilian black or skeleton leg.

Have you ever fallen into a hole or crevice whilst hiking? I've never even been hiking.

A romantic meal, a trip to a theme park, or go to a concert? In general I'd prefer to go to a concert as a date, however Girt actually doesn't enjoy concerts so I wouldn't drag him to one. With him, I'll take the theme park, when my legs are a-okay.

How often do you wear necklaces? Basically never because all the ones I have start to bother my skin really quick/turn it greenish. I want a necklace I can keep on so bad, I really love how they look. If I'm putting any of my necklaces on now, it's for going out somewhere.

Would you rather wear a bracelet or a necklace? Necklaces, I actually don't like bracelets for the same reason I don't like long-sleeved shirts that thin out/get stretchy at the ends (I know that is so specific and you probably have no idea what I'm talking about), I don't at all like feeling something tight-ish around my wrists. I'm the same about pants that only reach my ankles.

When was the last time you had a donut? Maybe like, a month ago. Or more.

What’s your favorite song by Miley Cyrus? I genuinely do love "The Climb."

Who do you absolutely adore? My boyfriend and his immediate family, my own mom, nieces and nephew, Mazzy, and Tez. I care about more people, but as far as "adore" goes, it's them.

Have you ever had a crush on a kinda-country boy? lol no, I don't think I've ever been romantically attracted to a notably "country" guy.

Do you care about any of your exes at all? I care most about Jason, but no longer in a romantic sort of way. Of course I still feel some amount of softness towards Sara, but I can't truthfully say I "care" about her anymore. I just have nostalgia with her.

Who last slapped your butt? Probably my friend Chelsea, we used to be really close when I was still friends with her sister, and we were sexually playful with each other in a completely "just joking" kind of way, neither of us actually felt anything romantic. She's married with a kid now.

Where have you lived throughout your life? The same general area of eastern North Carolina, near the coastal plain/Piedmont divide.

What kind of cake did you have for your last birthday? I actually didn't want a cake, we got donuts instead.

Have you ever had a panic attack? Many. I'm more prone to anxiety attacks, but panic attacks have definitely happened.

Anyone’s birthday coming up soon? Yes, my mom's at the start of next month and my nephew's in the middle of August.

When at a restaurant, do you put your napkin on your lap? I probably would if it was messy food.

Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners? Electric.

Are your biceps at all noticeable? lol no

When are you moving next? I don't know. It's looking to be very possible that our landlord will be selling this house and getting us into another somehow, things are very uncertain right now, and if that doesn't happen it will probably be whenever Girt and I hopefully move in together.

Have you ever had a bad concert experience? No.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? No.

Do you call your boyfriend “Monkey”? I've seen this question appear in so many surveys over all the years and I have never understood why, I know literally nobody who does this.

Would you rather go to Greece or France? Greece.

How would you spend a day at the beach? At this moment I wouldn't go to the beach, not until my legs are stronger; the last time I visited the beach, my muscle atrophy was kinda early on, and I struggled VERY BADLY walking in the sand. While great progress has been made, I just don't think I'm ready to where I'd be able to enjoy the experience. But anyway, to answer the question in general, I tend to stay in the water; I hate the feeling of sand but love being in the ocean. I'm sure we'd bring a tent thing for shade, so I'd probably sit under that with the people I'm with, maybe have some snacks or read. I'd definitely bring my camera to try to get some nice pictures. Hopefully one day soon I CAN go on a vacation like this and not be in torment lol.

Have you ever experienced altitude sickness? No. Like everyone though I've definitely experienced the ear popping in planes and even when driving through mountains.

Was the last show you watched a re-run? Not for me, no; Ma and I were watching Deadliest Catch, some of the first season. She's seen it at some point.

What’s your biggest priority right now? Improving my physical health, I think. I've gotten too far to let it start slipping again.

What does it feel like to fall asleep in someone’s arms? If I'm not hot, I absolutely love it. In the spooning sense anyway lol, if we're PROPERLY lying down so we're actually comfortable, I am such a cuddlebug. If I'm sitting up in some way, then I'm uncomfortable/am gonna wake up feeling like death lol.

Do you recall the first time that you learned the truth about sex? 5th grade, sex ed/"family life" classes. I feel like a rare exception where my parents actually never taught me about this stuff, so my education on it was very aggressively abstinence-based and made HIV/AIDS sound like a total death sentence that you'd contract from your very first pre-marital intercourse. I am very unhappy with how I was taught about my own body parts and men's, like there is still probably so much stuff I don't know and it's honestly pretty embarrassing.

Do you need the opinion of others to make yourself feel worthwhile? uh... admittedly, right now, yes. I am very, very bad about needing external validation, because otherwise I'm convinced I'm an awful person who shouldn't treasure herself. This is a very major problem with me that I'm still trying to fix.

Have you ever rubbed anyone’s feet? ugh ew no, I hate feet

What is one thing you fantasize or daydream about doing? Being able to support myself with nature photography, going all over the world seeing amazing things...

What would you rather: lethal injection, electric chair, or hanging? Lethal injection sounds by far the least painful... I'd think. I guess I don't know exactly what the body experiences during these.

Have you taken someone's virginity? No.

What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? I'd be pretty fucking pissed off, especially when one of his relationship dealbreakers is cheating, so wouldn't that be ironic. I'd break up with him immediately and probably stop talking to him. Wow I don't like this question, even when I have full trust in him to never do this.

Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? lmfao yes he's very aware

Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? He was leaving to go home.

Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? No.

Who would you like to see in concert? Rammstein is fucking obviously #1 lol, even before I was super super into them I woulda gone because their concerts are very highly praised. I'd also really like to go with my mom to a Metallica concert (she would fucking die), as well as In This Moment, who she also likes a whole lot. I would include Ozzy here, but he seems to be done touring and probably should be with his health state. There are plenty of other bands I'd go see, I really like concerts, but those are the immediate, strong answers for me.

Who was the first person to ever ask you out? I think one of the boys that harassed me in pre-k, but honestly I don't even know if we knew what "asking out" was yet, there were just two boys who would chase and try to kiss me during recess.

What's one thing your partner must be able to accept about you? Sometimes I need time to myself, and also that I'm a mentally ill person that is not always going to be in happy shape.

Are there any videos of yourself on YouTube? No, not to my memory. Certainly not on my current account.

What’s one thing that’s annoying you about the book you’re reading now? It doesn't majorly annoy me, but Sutherland has a very strong habit of overusing separating paragraphs for emphasis, in my opinion. She's slightly more dramatic than I prefer in reading.

Do you have trouble letting friends go when you need to? YUP SURE FUCKIN DO

If you had a daughter, would you allow sleepovers? I'm going to guess you're implying her sleeping over with a boy, because obviously I'd allow her female friends to????? I probably would allow sleepovers with a boy she's actually dating only once she hits 16; I know what I did at 16 with my boyfriend, and I was abstinent then, I'm not inviting my teenage daughter to get pregnant if we can avoid it. I also include the fact they'd better be actually, officially dating because I'd likely wring a fucker's neck if he tried to lead my daughter on by never committing.

Which do you like better, your first name or your middle name? My first, I'm thankful I actually like my first name lol. My middle name is pretty imo, but it is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO common.

Where is your brother? He lives in Tennessee, but I actually don't think he's there right now; he's been traveling the country doing track races in I think he's aiming for every state.

Do you like using terms of endearment? Yes, I am extremely verbally affectionate.

Do you have any plans for tomorrow? Yeah, Girt's gonna be coming over.

What's the longest movie you've ever seen? I THINK Troy, but I'm unsure. I don't generally like super long movies, by like around two hours I'm done.

What was the last thing you wrote down in the notes app on your phone? I have one list of drawing ideas, and I added something to that.

Would you ever want to visit South Korea? Nah, I'm not particularly interested.

#survey #surveys #random questions #personal questions #questionnaire

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deeahhnuh · 2 years

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2022!

I've done this year-in-review thing since 2007! 2007-2012 are over on my old LiveJournal, and 2013-on are right here on my Tumblr. :)

I didn't do one of these for 2021, whoops, but that was a weird year for me anyway so let's just get things going again with - 2022! :)

What did you do in 2022 that you’d never done before?

Cut my own bangs! Okay, technically I did try giving myself bangs when I was like 13 or something, but that was a fail. This time, I have to say, they turned out very very nicely imho! I'm still quite shocked I (think I) pulled it off!

---

Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Never make any formal ones, but as usual for the New Year, I want to be sure to be careful and mindful about my health!

---

Did anyone close to you give birth?

Two family friends - they're sisters! - gave birth to sweet baby boys like a month apart! Pure joy. ♥

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Did anyone close to you die?

No, thank goodness.

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What countries did you visit?

Ha, I'm quite the homebody - none

---

What would you like to have in 2023 that you lacked in 2022?

I'm hugely grateful for what I do have, but I have to admit I do have some humble ambitions and hopes that I would like to work on making happen in 2023 - or at least get some kind of show on the road! :)

---

What date(s) from 2022 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

April 2022 - I had my last appointment with my psychiatrist of almost 16 years, because he is retiring. I'll remember this date as it's all a bit of an end of an era! No words can ever sum up his incredibly positive influence on my life. So I'm sad, but more than anything, I'm just thankful that I had his care for as long as I did! ♥

---

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I didn't completely botch my bangs lol!

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What was your biggest failure?

I don't think I made any total goofs this year, yay!

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Did you suffer illness or injury?

Oh my goodness, I had to get a dang tooth extracted a few days after Thanksgiving! The oral surgeon was a magician or something: I had almost no pain afterward, so my biggest "issue" was just me making sure I followed the recovery instructions to the letter. Which I did, apparently; at the follow-up appointment, he said "I can tell you followed all the steps exactly!" :) Tldr: I'm doing fine now!

---

What was the best thing you bought?

Music. And perfume; but music, man. I need it.

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Whose behavior merited celebration?

That oral surgeon, for one, lol!

---

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Not so much a behavior, but the perspective that COVID-19 is "over." Couldn't be me.

---

Where did most of your money go?

Music. Perfume.

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What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Holidays and birthdays!

---

What song will always remind you of 2022?

SOOOoooo many. Check out my 2022 list of my iPod (and Spotify) hits on my Spotify!

---

Compared to this time last year (2021), are you:

Better, by at least a bit!

---

What do you wish you’d done more of?

Listen to more new music releases, watch more new shows, see more new movies! There's always so much to discover!

---

What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worry? But I'm so good at it, lol!

---

How did you spend Christmas?

Fam and ham. Two good things that are great together!

---

What was the most embarrassing thing that happened to you in 2022?

I don't think I was too much of a doofus this year, tbh!

---

How many one-night stands?

Ha, zero

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What was your favorite TV program?

The stupid: cartoons (Family Guy and South Park: I have trash taste) and Real Housewives of wherever (and other Bravo fare)

The not stupid: Abbott Elementary, Better Call Saul, The Orville, Shining Vale, Only Murders in the Building, What We Do in the Shadows, The Patient. Also, Space Force. I know it was canceled (boo!), and it was panned a lot, but it was fun!

---

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2022?

Business on top, pajamas on the bottom

---

What kept you sane?

Music. Spotify is a gift and there's so much music to find! (But I do tend to listen to the same stuff all the time lol)

---

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Lol no

---

What was the best book you read in 2022?

Lol I suck, nothing to report (again)

---

What was your greatest musical discovery?

Not really a discovery, because I knew about it already, but I did buy, listen to, and love some old "winter editions" of the Ministry of Sound Addicted to Bass series of releases. A pointless thing to do! But I had a good time.

---

What did you want and get?

Addicted to Bass winter editions! Nah, but for real, I have the things I need and I'm grateful about it! ♥

---

What did you want and not get?

See above! I'm good. :)

---

What was your favorite film of this year?

Watched a lot of great movies this year - see my Scrapbook! But my fave 2022 releases? Elvis was a spectacle and Bullet Train was bombastic fun. New-to-me faves? I've known about Crossing Delancey but hadn't seen the whole movie until this year - it's precious! So is You Can't Take It with You! And Educating Rita is adorable too. Doing a 180 from precious and adorable - Shadow of the Vampire, which is bonkers but kind of a delight. Finally, special shout-out to The Beatles: Get Back. It was incredible to see and I loved it!

---

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Visited with my bro & sis-in-law and parents and had a great time! 36!

---

What three things would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Nah, I'm happy with what I've got. Whatever didn't pan out this year can always come through in the next, or the one after that. :)

---

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I'm reminded of little Mary and Violet in It's a Wonderful Life! Mary says "You like every boy," to which Violet just smiles and replies "What's wrong with that?" That's me, I'm Violet. Anyways, I dug Ringo in Get Back earlier in the year, then I didn't mind the Austin Butler buzz re: Elvis, and wrapped up the year thinking Michael Shannon ain't half bad for some reason. Who knows what next year will bring lol?

---

What political issue stirred you the most?

It's all a mess!

---

Who did you miss?

Family - those we've lost, and those who are simply not near. ♥

---

What is a valuable life lesson you learned in 2022?

As usual - we need hope. We just do. I certainly do! :)

---

What quote can be used to sum up your year?

Lol it's a South Park quote, but hear me out -

Butters: "I love life."

Stan: "Huh? But you just got dumped."

Butters: "Well yeah, and I'm sad, but at the same time I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like, it makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human. And the only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt somethin' really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good, so I guess what I'm feelin' is like a, beautiful sadness. I guess that sounds stupid."

Goth Kid 2: "Yeah."

Stan: "No. No, Butters, that doesn't sound stupid at all."

---

So that was my 2022. Here's to 2023! Happy (early) New Year, Tumblr! :)

#deeahhnuh #year #2022

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skiller0dani · 3 years

Text

Old Prison Blues | Spencer Reid

M A S T E R L I S T Criminal Minds Masterlist

smut | dom!spencer x bau!reader requests info w.c | 7.2k summary | when your husband Spencer gets released from Prison, he's much different then you remember.

I have it so bad for this man, enjoy! Also guys this piece made butterflies squirm in my belly lmao this one is so HOT it made me blush. Guys, it made me B L U S H. I need to go dunk myself in holy water to atone for this SIN. (just kidding lmao I'm agnostic).

you can see his bulge in this gif and I can't stop admiring looking at it.

When you were in college you'd been an undergraduate in Criminal Justice, so you were familiar with the effects Prison has on the psyche. In other words, you knew Spencer would come back different. No person could pass through Prison unscathed and frankly you'd be more concerned if he came back and nothing had changed at all. At home, he seemed to be relatively okay, and those 6 mandatory weeks of break had allowed him the rest he deserved. Nothing exciting had happened during those weeks, the only thing you did was curl up on the couch next to him and watch movies. You'd made up for all those weeks in Prison during the evenings when you would cling to him and cry out his name in ecstasy.

Spencer really did seem to be fine, until you returned to work. That's when you started to see all the ways Prison had hardened him.

At first, it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. If you were someone who knew Spencer well then you knew that he wasn't a man who was confident in his looks. When you and Spencer first got married he was insecure, and would be discouraged when you hung out with other guys. You wouldn't say he was jealous because jealously in itself requires a certain amount of anger. But when Spencer saw you around other men he wasn't angry, he was sad. Absolutely convinced you were going to leave him any second, despite you telling him you married him because you love him. Deep down, he always thought somebody would steal you from him even though you consistently reminded him how much you love him. That's just the kind of guy Spencer is.

Or, was.

The darkness that brews in Prison, the violent hatred, the anger seems to have followed Spencer to freedom. It has made a home in his chest, and while you're not worried about Spencer flying off the deep end and shooting an innocent, the anger reveals itself in much more subtle ways. It's in the way he clenches his jaw when he can't figure something out, or the blanching of his knuckles as he grips the steering wheel with a crushing force, it's the agitation in his eyes when he watches Alvez's knuckles brush against your lower back for the 3rd time since you two had arrived at the office this morning. The anger has adapted to civilian life like Spencer has, it's learned. It's subtle. Unfortunately you know Spencer almost better then he knows himself, you can tell when something is bothering him.

You slide your hands over his shoulders, and much to your surprise you feel him tense.

"You okay?" You know it's a stupid question, but you have to ask.

"Yeah, fine." Spencer's tone is clipped, shoulders rigid, back straight. Something is definitely bothering him. You squeeze his shoulders and begin to work at the tightened muscles, slowly easing them to relax. The tension flows out of him as he relaxes back in his desk chair, the frustration ebbing away slightly when his eyes catch your wedding ring. The object that binds you to him.

"Don't shut me out." You whisper, a soft plea in your voice. Spencer's heart wretches when he hears the fear in your tone, and one of his hands comes up to catch yours. He presses a chaste kiss to one of your knuckles before swiveling around to face you. You always find a way to soothe the violent, raging beast inside of him. Spencer's hands find your hips as he turns his gaze up to look at you.

"You're right I'm sorry. Just tense today." He says softly, and while there is a little lie to his words, his statement remains mostly the truth. He just leaves out the part where he pictures enacting varying forms of violence on Luke Alvez. The man who keeps unnecessarily touching his wife. You lean down to press a kiss to his forehead, your head snapping up when Garcia calls from the conference room.

"Got a case folks, and it's an ugly one." Her nose scrunches up into a frown before she turns into the room. You pull away from Spencer, yanking him to his feet by his hand. Luke sends you a playful wink as he trots up the stairs, and while you don't necessarily react to it, it still puts Spencer on edge. Deep down Spencer always knew you were way out of his league, but that never became clearer then when you came to visit him in Prison.

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You were trembling as you lowered yourself into the chair. Dried tears were on your cheeks, and you haven't even seen Spencer yet. The last time you saw him was a few weeks prior after he first got back from Mexico. Seeing his wrists bound in those metal handcuffs had broken your heart in a way you never anticipated. You wrung your hands together, luckily when Penelope had made the visitation Chart she scheduled you as the first person to come see him. The plastic chair was uncomfortable, but what was worse was the plastic guard separating you from Spencer. The clock ticked loudly, it was clearly mocking you. Reminding you of the seconds you were losing with Spencer, reminding you of all the seconds he was spending in Prison.

When you hear the buzzer scream loudly, you nearly come out of your seat you're so excited to see him. You and Spencer got married back in 2005, and you've never been separated from him for longer then a week. It's been over a month now, and each day he's not with you leaves a bigger hole in your chest. You watch him follow the other prisoners out, and the handcuffs around his wrists breaks your heart. His eyes light up the second he sees you, he nearly shoves the other guy over to get to you faster. There are tears in your eyes as Spencer's wrists are released from the cuffs from the guard standing nearby.

"Hey baby." Spencer says softly as he takes his seat across from you. All you want is to reach across the stupid barrier and touch him, hold his hand, anything. But you know the guards will punish him if he does, but being this close to him without being able to hold him is absolutely killing you. You try to blink the tears out of your eyes so that Spencer won't see, but it's all too much. Seeing him in a jumpsuit, with cuff bruises around his wrists, having to sleep in the same building as murderers. The first tear falls and you immediately look away from him.

"Please don't cry." Spencer begs softly. "I'm okay, really."

You wipe your tears before you look back up at him, digging around in your bag for a gift from Henry. You smile when you see the happiness cross onto his face as you pull the piece of paper out.

"Henry drew this for you, it's from when you guys went to the park." You hold it up for him to see and you try to fight another onslaught of tears when you see his eyes misting.

"You know, when I get out of here we should have one." Spencer says it so casually, you almost miss it. Your eyes nearly pop out of your head as you carefully lower the drawing.

"You want to try for a baby?" You can't hide the smile, and you see Spencer's eyes shine for the first time since he's been in here.

"Yeah, I want to have a baby with you." You and Spencer had a brief conversation about kids a few years ago, and you knew Spencer wasn't ready for it back then. His Father ran out on him and Diana when Spencer was just a kid, it made Spencer insecure about the type of Father he would end up being. In Spencer's mind, a fatherless man would never make a good Father. But it seems he's changed his mind. You had no issues agreeing to wait before you had kids until he was ready, you always knew Spencer would be a fantastic Father.

Suddenly from Spencer's right you hear a low wolf whistle. The tenderness that was on Spencer's face is instantly wiped away. His expression tenses, his jaw clenching as he turns his gaze to a large burly looking man covered in tattoos. The man sitting across from him, the one who was visiting, looked similar. Both of the biker looking men were eyeing me hungrily, it made my skin crawl.

"Something I can help you with?" Spencer asks, his voice tense. The tension in the room grows tenfold, and you fight the instinct to try and scoot closer to Spencer. The Biker looks Spencer in the eyes, a taunting smile on his face.

"That your sister?"

"Wife." Spencer snaps instantly.

"Your wife?" The Biker says incrediously, Spencer raises a brow, daring him to continue. "There's no way a woman with an ass that tight would marry a man as scrawny as you."

You expected to see insecurity flash in Spencer's eyes, instead all you saw was rage. Unbridled, violent rage.

"Choose your next words carefully." Spencer's voice was low, and as sharp as the edge of a blade. You almost didn't recognize him. The Biker leaned forward, fueled only by the knowledge that he was getting under Spencer's skin.

"She as tight as she looks? If I wasn't locked up, I'd fuck her so good she wouldn't even remember what your little pecker feels like."

Spencer's jaw clenches, and his fists curl tightly. The Biker is about 2 words away from a broken nose.

"Baby just let it go." You plead, and normally you don't really use pet names in public but right now you needed to show him that you're his.

"I'll tell you what Klein, I'll fuck her for you and tell you how it felt." The other man says, the man visiting. Upon hearing the words come out of his mouth, Spencer is shoving up from the chair but almost instantly a guard is tightly gripping Spencer's shirt and shoving him back into the chair. Spencer is fuming, and there's nothing you can do to calm him down.

"If you so much as lay a finger on her, your friend here will be dead before you can have another visit." Spencer hisses, and the two large men chuckle.

Spencer instantly took you off the visitors list, and while that felt like a blow to your heart you understood why. You didn't want to stress him out by visiting him.

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

So, yeah, Spencer knew you were out of his league and when Luke pulled your chair out for you at the table before he had the chance to, it made his blood boil. Why is Luke trying to take care of you? Doesn't he know that Spencer has been released from Prison? You don't need anybody else to take care of you, your husband is more than capable of doing it himself. When Spencer sat down in the chair next to you, he rested one hand on your thigh. You're only slightly surprised, normally Spencer isn't this 'handsy' in public, but in recent weeks he's been more assertive around other men.

"The body of 23 year old Cassandra Richardson was found 2 weeks ago in Lincoln, Nebraska. Her body was mutilated and showed signs of sexual assault. Yesterday another body, 20 year old Francesca Williams was found around the same warehouse district with similar wounds to the first victim." Penelope rushes the words out, almost as though saying them pains her. Various images show on the screen of the two victims, both bloodied and battered.

"Other than similar injuries, what makes the local police think it's the same unsub?" Luke asks, his eyes flickering towards you for the briefest second. While Spencer was locked away, Luke became a shoulder to cry on. Normally when you were upset and Spencer wasn't around, you'd talk to Derek. But since he's been gone you've felt more isolated then you normally do. Luke had found you crying one morning before you had taken off, and ever since he's had an "older brother" protection over you.

"A tattoo on both of the victims thighs, the words 'temerata virginem' which is Latin for 'desecrated virgin'." With the click of a button on her remote, Penelope pulls up a photo of the tattoos. The lines are shaky, although they stay mostly straight.

"It almost looks professional, except the lines aren't perfectly straight. A professional would make the line work perfect." JJ says, examining the photo closer in the folder each of you received. You turn your gaze to Spencer when you feel his hand leave your thigh to examine the photo closer. You could practically see the gears turning in that beautiful mind of his.

"It's possible an outside source is causing a tremble in the unsubs hands, if he is a professional tattoo artist." Spencer mumbles, almost to himself. Sometimes when he's in deep concentration, he nearly forgets other people are in the room with him.

"Could be drugs-" Luke starts but is sharply cut off.

"Actually it's more likely to be alcohol, withdraw from other drugs would be too severe to operate the tattoo machine." Spencer snaps, causing a few heads to turn and look at him. Maybe under other circumstances someone would say something to him, but since Spencer got released from Prison only a few weeks ago, nobody says anything. Luke's eyebrows furrow together as he shoots Spencer a confused look, one Spencer chooses to ignore as his hand returns to your thigh. Spencer knows he's acting like a jerk but he can't help it, Luke needs to know who you belong to. Spencer had everything taken from him in Prison, he won't let anyone take you from him too.

"We've been personally asked by the local police to assist, so wheels up in 30." Emily concludes, shooting one more look at Spencer before everybody rises.

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The tension on the jet is thick, you're absolutely sure everybody can feel it. Hardly anyone has interacted with Spencer, except to ask him a question about the case. You sit back against the couch, Luke sitting in one of the chairs at the table, and Spencer sitting on the arm of the chair next to you. In your hand was a nearly empty cup of coffee, and just as you move to refill, Luke rises with his own empty cup.

"Need a refill?" He asks, offering you a friendly smile.

"Yeah actually-"

"I got it." Spencer says abruptly, standing from where he was sitting. His eyes meet Luke's, silently challenging him. You try to be understanding, but you can't help but feel annoyed at Spencer. If he was acting like this to some random guy then that's one thing, but this is Luke. He's your friend, he's Spencer's friend. Luke, and the rest of the team, put everything on the line to free Spencer from Prison.

"It's cool man, I can do it-" Luke offers again, but Spencer isn't having it.

"I said I got it." Spencer reaches his hand out for your mug, which you instantly give to him. His eyes don't leave Luke's until he turns around and heads to the back of the jet to refill your coffee. Luke pauses for a few seconds, his eyes meeting yours and mirroring the same look of concern before he heads for the coffee pot as well. Luke isn't even upset by how Spencer is treating him, he- like everyone else, is worried about Spencer's psyche.

"What is going on with Spencer?" JJ whispers once she's sure Spencer is out of earshot. You shrug, your worried eyes landing on your husband. His posture is tense, almost defensive.

"Well can you blame him? In Prison, everything that's yours can and will be stolen by the other male inmates. Now that he's free, Spencer is being protective of his wife, someone that is his and can be taken by other men." Rossi says, always naturally a tad protective of Spencer.

"There isn't a man on this planet that would make me leave Spencer." You say defensively, although you know Rossi didn't mean anything by what he said.

"That might be obvious to you, but not to Spencer." JJ says, eyeing Spencer standing back near the coffee machine.

"Doing okay man?" Luke asks hesitantly as he moves to stand next to Spencer.

"Yep." Spencer says shortly, waiting for the pot to brew. Luke feels the tension rolling off Spencer in waves, and it's all being directed at him and he's not sure why.

"Look, if I've done something to upset you, just talk to me about it Reid." Luke's voice is gentle, understanding. Spencer's jaw clenches again as the pot finishes brewing and he refreshes your cup before reaching for the creamer.

"I'm fine Alvez. Really." Spencer says again, but Luke isn't willing to let this go yet.

"No Reid, you're not-"

"Stop flirting with my wife." Spencer's tone is firm, and the look in his eyes tells Luke just how on edge Spencer is.

"You got it." Luke agrees instantly, even though he was never flirting with you. But he knows that right now arguing with Spencer will only make things worse. Seemingly satisfied with Luke's answer, Spencer carries your cup back you, slinging an arm around you.

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Spencer twists his wedding ring around his ring finger, something he does when he's stressed out or tense. You're currently sat in the interrogation room with the male suspect, a tattoo artist attending AA meetings, the tattoo on the first victim was the shakiest because he had just quit drinking. The other, more recent, victims tattoo's were more steady. The longer he stayed sober, the more his trembling faded. In Spencer's other palm is your wedding ring, you fit the physical preference of this killer perfectly, but he only went after single women. Emily thought sending somebody in fitting his victimology would throw him off enough to say something incriminating. In order for the rouse to work, you needed to appear single- meaning the wedding ring had to come off. The thought didn't settle well in Spencer's gut.

"You have to relax." JJ said suddenly from Spencer's right. He nearly ignored her but his frayed nerves were beginning to eat at him.

"I can't. Do you see the way he's looking at her?" Spencer was pacing back and forth in front of the one way glass like a caged animal, unable to take his eyes off of the train wreck happening in front of him.

"She can handle herself Spence." JJ insists gently, almost using a motherly tone to talk to him.

"She's mine!" And suddenly the crux of the issue comes to light, and Spencer pinches the bridge of his nose, releasing a heavy breath. JJ thinks about her words carefully, trying to find something to say that will calm him at least a little.

"Yeah, and nothing is going to change that Spencer. You need to relax, and you have to trust her. You're not in Prison anymore, nobody is going to take her from you." JJ says, looking him in the eyes. Suddenly the sound of metal screeching across a concrete floor sounds from behind Spencer and when he turns around, his blood boils hot in his veins. The suspect, Alan Baker, has shoved out of his chair and has started towards you.

"Spencer-" JJ's voice is distant, and comes too late. Spencer isn't listening to her anymore when his fist curls around the door handle and he nearly rips it off its hinges.

"You need to step back." Spencer snaps, reaching for his gun as Alan Baker backs you into the corner of the interrogation room. You weren't ever truly afraid, you could have handled Alan. Slowly, Alan backs away from you and Spencer instantly reaches for you. He leads you out of the room with a gentle but firm hand on your back. Once you're out of the interrogation room you turn to Spencer.

"What the hell? I could have dealt with him!" You insist, frustration laced in your tone. At this point JJ silently slips out of the room, giving you and Spencer some much needed privacy. Spencer crosses his arms as he leans back against the one way mirror.

"You didn't need to, I did." Spencer huffs and you seriously resist the urge to throw something at him.

"What is your problem today? You could have compromised my entire interrogation, he's never going to tell me anything now!" You snap, anger pinching at your features.

"Good! Now you have no reason to talk to him again." Spencer snaps back, can't you see that he's just protecting what's his?

"Spencer we're trying to save somebody! You're being selfish!" You say to him angrily, trying your best not to start yelling at him. Spencer's selfish possessiveness over you could have just ruined your entire investigation.

"This is why the Bureau was hesitant to reinstate you. They were scared you wouldn't be able to control yourself." You snap at him, crossing your arms.

"Are you saying they made a mistake?" Spencer asks incrediously, suddenly becoming defensive.

"Maybe they did. Because you're acting like an asshole right now. You've been a jerk to Luke the entire day when he busted his ass to help get you out of Prison and back to me! Since when have you not trusted me during an interrogation? What did you think was going to happen? That I was going to let him touch me? I thought you trusted me." You cry out, tears filling your eyes now. Spencer didn't say anything as you turned for the door, anger still laced in his features.

"This has nothing to do with me not trusting you-"

"If you don't trust me, then maybe you should just hold onto my wedding ring for a while. I don't want it." You snap quietly, and you regret the words the second they leave your lips. No matter how mad he makes you, you'd never leave Spencer. You watch Spencer's expression shift from anger to...hurt. He watches silently as you slam the door behind you. Prison has turned him into somebody he isn't, and Spencer doesn't know how to turn off this part of his brain. The part telling him that you belong to him, and that he needs to protect what's his.

Rossi catches the sight of your tear stained cheeks as you move back towards the kitchen in the precinct. You wipe your tears as he comes to stand beside you, and the look on his face tells you that he overheard your fight with Spencer. Rossi bumps you with his elbow gently, a small smile on his face.

"You don't look okay." He says softly and you let out a self-depreciating laugh.

"I'm not. I don't know how to help Spencer, he doesn't trust me." You say sadly, your heart breaking in your chest.

"It's not you he doesn't trust, it's other men." Rossi clarifies, although it does little to ease the pain. You reach up to brush your hair behind your ear when Rossi catches your hand, examining your ring finger.

"Where's your wedding ring?"

"Told Spencer I didn't want it." The words are laced with heavy regret, and when you remember the look on his face when you said it you almost start to cry again. Rossi wraps an arm around you, and you lean your head on his shoulder.

"Deep down, he knows you didn't mean it." He tries to reassure you.

"That's the problem, he probably thinks I meant it."

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

Normally it only takes you and Spencer a few hours to smooth things over after a fight. But this time, it's been nearly 3 hours and you haven't spoken a word to each other. You're both working on searching through Alan Baker's financial records without speaking at all. Neither of you have said anything, and Spencer still has your wedding ring. You desperately want it back, but you don't know how to start that conversation. You're angry about how he's been treating everybody, and you feel like asking for your ring is accepting defeat. You're not ready to accept defeat. When Emily comes into the room, her eyes settle on the two of you.

"Okay, what's going on with you guys?" Her arms are crossed.

"Nothing." The word comes from both yours and Spencer's mouths at the same time, and you say it far too quickly. Emily raises one brow at the two of you before closing the door behind her.

"Alright I'm going to have to be a boss now. We are not going to lock this guy away if the two of you are fighting. We need everybody on their A-game. Fix it. Now, and I mean right now." She says, leaving the room but closing the door behind her. There's a suffocating silence that fills the room, both you and Spencer too stubborn to speak first. But you can't take it, you hate it when he's mad at you. You hate it when you guys fight, which isn't often but it does happen occasionally.

"I didn't mean it." You whisper, leaning on the table, facing away from him. Spencer doesn't say anything but you know he's listening.

"I didn't mean it Spencer, I want my ring." He'd be lying if he said he wasn't relieved to hear you say that, his entire world crashed down around him the second you told him to keep the ring. The irrational part of his brain told him you were going to divorce him.

"Can I please have it back?" You ask, barely turning your head to look at him. With a huff Spencer pushes away from the table to move in front of you. His eyes are focused on your hand, he has yet to look at you. Spencer fishes around in his pocket before he finds your ring and gently slides it onto your ring finger.

"You have to stop glaring at any man that gets to close to me, especially Luke." You tell him, but he continues to look away from you. Spencer pushes past you to stand near the windows, his back facing you. The thing about Spencer is that he's stubborn, really stubborn. You take a few steps towards him, nibbling on your lower lip.

"I love you Spencer, I'm sorry. I was an ass, but you acted like an ass too." You tell him, but Spencer only turns his head further away from you. You move to stand in front of him, but his eyes turn to the ground and his arms are crossed tightly. Seriously?

"Please talk to me Spencer, tell me what's going on." You can see the frustration laced in his features, there's something on the tip of his tongue that he needs to say.

"Spencer."

"After you left from your visit, do you know why I didn't let you come back?" Spencer snaps, his hands finding your shoulders to yank your body against his. Your chest collides with his and suddenly you feel a dampness building between your legs. You instantly turn to putty in his hands.

"I didn't let you come back because that asshole told everybody about you. Told everybody what a tight little body you have. Soon the entire cell block was fantasizing about my 'sexy wife'. Do you have any idea what it's like to listen to men constantly talk about fucking your wife?" Spencer's voice is tense, but you can see it. The lust building behind his eyes, the frustration, and the fear of losing you simmering underneath it all.

"N-No." Your voice is breathy, and your eyes are lidded as Spencer's hands slide up your arms to your shoulders.

"It's fucking hell Y/N. Every time I see any man look at you I want to rip his eyes out, and I can't turn it off. I've tried, and the way that Alvez looks at you- it drives me fucking crazy." Spencer snaps, the anger building by the second. Your entire body begins to hum with an intense need, and Spencer can see it in your eyes. Spencer releases you then and he turns for the door, at first you're afraid he's going to leave but instead he locks the door. Luckily it's late, so the police station is more deserted then it is during the day. Turning back to you, Spencer reaches for the blinds next and you can't help but follow his every movement with your eyes.

"Get on your knees." Spencer says suddenly, and you freeze in shock. Did he just say...?

"Get. On. Your. Knees." Spencer says again through clenched teeth, leaning back against the table, heat simmering in his eyes. His hands grip the edge of the table and you feel a throb from between your legs. Quickly you scramble onto your knees in front of him, your hands reaching up to undo his belt. Once the belt is unfastened, you're quickly unbuttoning his dress slacks, your eagerness making your hands a bit clumsy. Spencer has never been this dominant during sex, but you have no complaints. He has your knees weak and he hasn't even touched you. You quickly dip your hand into his boxers to pull his hardening cock out. As soon as his cock is freed, your lips are wrapping around the head. Spencer's head tosses back in ecstasy.

"Your lips look so pretty stretched around my cock. Those bastards could only imagine having you on your knees for them." Spencer snaps, his hand weaving into the hair at the back of your head. You moan softly around him at his crude words, slowly sliding down his cock. Spencer groans when he feels your tongue laving the underside of his cock, along the vein that runs from base to tip. Apparently feeling impatient, Spencer pushes your head further down his cock. He feels his tip right at the entrance of your throat, and with one gentle thrust he breaches your throat and his cock slides all the way into your mouth.

"Fuck," Spencer hisses, and Spencer does not curse often. So the fact that you have been able to draw curses from his mouth is nothing short of a miracle. Spencer's chest heaves slightly as you gag lightly around him, drawing another deep groan from his chest. You feel nearly desperate to please him, you need to make him cum. You want him to fucking pound you, you want him to use your body for his pleasure. You want him to release all of his frustration out on you, you want to be sore when he's done.

"You're mine. This is my body to touch and admire, my tight pussy to stretch open, mine." Spencer growls, thrusting gently to meet your hasty movements. You whimper around his cock, gagging slightly again as spit dribbles down your chin. Your eyes are wide and watery as you look up at him, and the sight of you nearly causes him to blow his load. You just look so fucking beautiful on your knees in front of him, drool on your chin and your mouth full of cock. It's a sight he will never forget. You move your head faster, keeping your eyes locked on his. Spencer squeezes the edge of the table, his head tossing back when his orgasm hits him. You feel his cum shooting in spurts to the back of your throat and you swallow every drop. Once you pull off him, Spencer is grabbing your elbows to pull you to stand.

Spencer's hands are reaching for the button of your dress slacks as his mouth presses messily to yours. Spencer's tongue pushes into your mouth, his hands pushing your pants down and you kick them off. Instantly, Spencer's fingers are sliding into your panties and through your slick folds. You whine loudly against his mouth, your eyes fluttering shut as his palm roughly cradles the back of your head.

"Need to make sure you know who you belong to." Spencer snaps as he pulls away from you, quickly pushing two long fingers into your dripping hole. You cry out before Spencer is slapping a hand over your mouth, your back pressed against the wall. Spencer's slender frame is leaning against you, effectively trapping you against the wall and his body. Your eyes are rolling when Spencer's finger crook inside of you while roughly thrusting into you.

"Gotta be quiet, wouldn't want Luke to catch us now would we?" Spencer breathes in the shell of your ear, sending goosebumps spreading over your skin. You are completely at Spencer's mercy and you wouldn't have it any other way. The pleasure shooting through you goes rocketing up your spine when Spencer scissors his fingers inside of you. You're mumbling incoherently against his palm, desperate pleas not to stop, to please let you cum. Your entire body is flushed, and you feel sweat on your skin like a sheen layer over you. Spencer feels you begin to squeeze around his fingers and he replaces his palm with his mouth, swallowing all of your moans and desperate cries.

Your back is arching as your high approaches, and you climb higher and higher to meet it. Spencer never lets up, his fingers steadily pumping into you and his lips muffling all of your cries of pleasure. The sounds you make are music to his ears, they tell him that you will always be his, no matter what childish fears he has. Your hands come up to unbutton the buttons on Spencer's dress shirt, you need to feel more of him. Before you can finish undressing your husband, his fingers nudge your cervix and you instantly clamp around his fingers, your body convulsing.

"You look so beautiful when you cum." Spencer praises, his cock rock hard again. He needs to be inside of you as soon as humanely possible. Spencer pulls away from you to grasp the base of his cock, no need to bother with protection. The two of you already agreed that you want to try for a baby anyway.

"Please baby, please get inside me. How could you think I'd ever leave you? I love you, and nobody could make me cum like you can." You moan desperately, turning to bend over the table. Spencer's hand runs up your spine, enjoying the way you wriggle your hips in search of his cock. There are butterflies squirming in your stomach as you spread your legs apart wider for him, but he still doesn't bring his cock closer to you.

"Oh c'mon Spence don't do this please. Baby, fuck me." You plead, nearly sobbing as you shamlessly beg. He presses his tip against your soaked entrance and you whine. You hear fabric rustling around and you turn your head just in time to see him pull his tie from around his neck.

"I needed to hear you beg for me, and this is to keep you quiet. As much as I love the sounds you make when I'm inside you, I can't let anyone else hear you." Spencer says, his voice low and rumbling from his chest. You open your mouth to let him tie the silk fabric in your mouth. You try to whimper but you gag around the tie in your mouth, and you see a pleased smile cross onto Spencer's face. Your fingers grasp at the edge of the table as you impatiently wait for Spencer to push into you. You feel his glorious cock nestled at your entrance, the tip barely nudging in. You feel another wave of slick gush out of you and Spencer is running his tip through your already drenched folds. Such a tease.

You whine softly, trying to push back against him. Spencer chuckles darkly before his hands grasp your hips to hold you steady. With one firm thrust, Spencer is breaching your folds and sliding deep inside you. You feel heat searing through you, your head dropping to the table as you whimper through the burn. The stretch burns more then you anticipated, and you hear Spencer groaning softly, which sends another wave of liquid heat rushing through you.

"God you feel so good baby, you take my cock so fucking well." Spencer praises, gently pulling out to slowly thrust back in. His eyes are locked on the place where you two connect, watching with hooded eyes as his cock disappears inside you.

"I wish you could see this baby, I love watching you take my cock." He praises through a soft moan, and you drink up every sound he makes. Spencer needed this so bad and you love the fact that you can give him a type of relief nobody else on the planet can give him. Spencer steadily thrusts into you when you both hear footsteps slowly passing outside the room. You expect Spencer to stop, to pull out of you and start redressing but he doesn't. He slows his pace considerably, but he still slowly thrusts into you.

"Shh, I would hate for whoever that is to see my cock buried in your pretty pussy." Spencer whispers as he leans forward to whisper in your ear. You struggle to contain the whimpers, but somehow you remain completely silent as Spencer gently thrusts into you. Once whoever it is passes by, Spencer resumes his quicker thrusts. His pelvis hits your ass with enough force to send you lurching across the table and your fingers scramble to find purchase against the smooth surface.

"This is my pussy, you're my wife, you're mine. Not Luke's, not that dick from the Prison. Mine." Spencer says, punctuating the words with a sharp thrust into you. You wished you could answer him, that you could cry to the heavens that you belong to Spencer Reid- that you never want to belong to anybody else. You settle for squeezing his cock whenever it returns to your velvety warmth, chanting the same word in your head over and over.

Yours yours yours yours yours.

Your forehead presses against the table, muffled and strangled cries escaping your lips every time Spencer hits deep inside you. His cock stretches you perfectly, and always hits places deep inside you. Places you didn't know existed. Soon you feel your orgasm creeping up on you, and you feel lightheaded so you reach up to yank the tie away from your mouth.

"Please make me cum Spence, I'm so close baby please don't stop." You beg, muffling your moans with your palm as he drives his cock into you. You feel sweat covering your entire body and Spencer holds your hips with a bruising force. You feel that coil winding tighter and tighter, and you release a high pitched whine when Spencer's hand snakes around your body to thumb your clit.

"Oh Spencer your cock feels so good, soo good baby. Always feels so good, fuck baby I love you," You're not sure what you're saying at this point, an incoherent mess of praises for the man above you. Spencer loves when he reduces you to this, speaking in a jumble of words and disconnected statements because you can't think with his cock inside you.

"I, shit, I love you-" Spencer gasps, slamming his cock inside you and rolling your clit before you're squeezing around him tightly, your mouth falling open in a silent scream. You cum in hot gushes around him and Spencer can only offer a few more stuttering thrusts before he's cumming with a loud growl, coating your walls in his hot cum. Spencer keeps his cock inside you, ensuring his cum stays inside you. He wants to get you pregnant. His palms gently hold your hips, and all the frustration he's felt all day has completely disappeared. His chest is heaving from the exertion but he feels more relaxed then he has all day. There's a smile on your face and your eyes are closed as your legs finally give out and you collapse against the table.

"You okay?" You hear Spencer's voice, and you can't help but smile when you hear that he's panting slightly. You hum with a smile on your face.

"I'm amazing." You mumble back, feeling Spencer begin to gently massage your back. You love enjoying the afterglow with him, even if you're laying on a table. Slowly Spencer pulls out, but he groans softly when he sees his cum inside your pussy. He reaches to the floor to pull your panties and dress slacks back up your legs and he quickly tucks himself back into his pants. He buttons the 4 buttons you managed to open on his shirt before he's gently pulling you to stand.

"You sure you're alright?" Spencer asks, concern in his eyes. You nod with a smile, but when he releases his hold on your shoulders, you feel your legs tremble and give out underneath you. Spencer immediately catches you and sets you down on the table. You laugh softly.

"Guess you fucked me good."

"Sorry." Spencer says sheepishly, but you press a chaste kiss to his lips.

"Don't be, that had to have been the best sex we've had in a long time." You mumble against his lips and Spencer hums in agreement. Reaching for his tie, Spencer shoves it in his pocket before he pokes his head out of the room you guys just defiled.

"Spencer, I'm so sorry about what I said. I love you so much, I didn't mean what I said about my ring-" You blubber suddenly, drawing Spencer's attention to you. He cradles your head against his chest, pressing kisses to your forehead.

"I know baby, it's okay. I love you." Spencer answers quietly, holding you to him tightly.

"I'm sorry I was a jerk today. I'm just so protective of you. I can't let anything steal you from me." Spencer admits softly and you cup his cheeks to make him look at you. There is a sadness in his eyes that you want to obliterate, you can't stand it when he's sad. It breaks your heart.

"Nothing could steal me from you. I only want you Spencer." You say quietly and you see tears misting his eyes. He presses his lips desperately against yours, and you feel tears cascading down yours and his cheeks. The kiss is wet, but it's passionate and you throw every ounce of love you have for this man into it. When you and Spencer part, your foreheads are pressed together.

"Hey Spence? How am I gonna get to the hotel. I can't walk." You say softly with a giggle and Spencer smiles mischievously.

"I guess I'll have to carry you." He scoops you bridal style into his arms then and you blush deeply when he carries you out of the room and towards the front entrance.

"Spencer! Everybody is going to know!" You whisper into his ear and he chuckles.

"Good."

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