#I'd understand why she'd keep it from the coworkers maybe

[cult-of-the-eye]

Celia has a BABY??? And we've never heard her talk about him???

[fierylittleniece]

Her chair turned slightly, making sure she was directly facing the handsome stranger. He'd have her full attention. It was hard to resist the urge to over analyze every detail of his body language and tone. It'd been her job at one point, but right now this wasn't a work venture. It was just a little bit of fun and if she was lucky, she'd gain a new friend from this. Roxy defiantly needed it at this point.

"I think you were the only one who found it funny. I swear every gives me such dirty looks when I come in for a coffee run. I don't understand how my coworkers do it with no issues." It would've been polite to mirror his formal tone back to him. But Roxanne wanted this man to feel relaxed by her casual, he seemed tense the moment she approached. Maybe she'd been to forward by waltzing over here. His compliment basically redirected her entire mentality.

Oh. That's why.

"A compliment before we've exchanged names? Bold, I like it. So will you be honoring me with your name or should I just call you handsome for the time being?" It was a playful jab, eyes lacking any malice at all. It was nice to be around someone new even if he was hopelessly polite. "I hope it does, my squad will be miffed if I mess this up. You know if I didn't know any better, I'd say you look like the type to be on the force. Something about your build...that or you keep yourself in splendid shape." She'd help him out with extended the conversation. Just long enough until she got his name...

And maybe his number.

Leon felt a lump in his throat form as she approached him. Why was it that he could look danger directly in the eyes while it tried to rip his body limb from limb, and still keep his cool; but the moment a beautiful woman caught him staring all that courage drained from his body?

“Heh, my apologies ma’am. I just found the exchange between yourself and the clerk amusing. I didn’t mean to offend.” Leon remarked, his tone formal as always when talking to civilians of any kind. His hand was clasped firmly around his own cup as he tried to look a little less tense. “-You’re also quite beautiful.” He said the last part a few minutes later as he glanced towards her again.

He was almost expecting her to not believe him, but surely compliments were an okay thing to do, right? He honestly wasn’t sure, his teammates often called him oblivious and a little sarcastic at times so he was hoping this came across the way he intended. “Hopefully your challenging order goes well.” He said with a polite smile, unsure of where to go from here.

[bonny-kookoo]

Bunny Boy: Time to lie. 🔞

I'm which Jungkook proves that he would make an Oscar worth actor- for all the wrong reasons.

Tags/Warnings: typical Bunny Boy stuff, graphic description of murder, mentions of vomiting, smut, mentions of murder of an animal, psychological talk, it's heavy guys, yandere themes

I do not condone any of this behavior depicted in this story. Everything written concerning the Bunny Boy universe has NO relation to Jeon Jungkook or BTS at a whole and is in no way a depiction of what I think they would act/react. My writing is purely fictional. Please keep this in mind and only read if you understand this. Thank you.

He's been in a room like this before- but it's been a few years by now. Inside, he chuckles a bit at the way the officer sits down across from him, putting some papers down before he looks at Jungkook- who's pretty calm, still. There's nothing they could use against him, no proof or evidence that he'd been anything more than at the wrong place at the wrong time. It was an accident- and there's nothing else to it.

After all, the only real witness is dead.

"Do you want something to drink?" The officer asks, and Junkook shakes his head, running a hand over his face to seem a little agitated.

"Ah- no. I don't think I can stomach anything right now to be honest." He mumbles, looking at the table. The officer hesitates a little, but then nods, leaning back in his chair. Jungkook himself leans his elbows onto his knees, gaze lowered to his hands, fingers playing with the ring he wears.

The ring he shares with you.

"I can imagine." The officer comments, before he crosses one leg over the other. "Though I'll have to ask some questions, I hope you don't mind." The man says, and Jungkook looks up with wide eyes.

"No no, it's fine, anything." He says, mind racing with answers he could give already.

"The footage of the security cameras." The officer says, and jungkook squeezes his finger a bit. "Why were you at the construction site in the first place? According to your schedule, there had been a meeting during that time." He asks, and Jungkook nods, licking his lips.

"I missed that meeting, I admit." Jungkook explains, sighing as he runs a hand over his face again, closing his eyes as if he's experiencing the memory again. "I.. he'd asked me for days to take a look at the progress, and I.. felt bad pushing him off like that all the time. So I thought hey, can't hurt to take a look, I-.. I'd be back in no time to attend the rest of the meeting." Jungkook says, chuckling bitterly.

"I see. How did the accident happen then?" The officer asks, taking notes.

"We got into an argument about.. the deadlines and, urgh, I didn't want him to rush things, but he kept going on and on about the set deadlines." Jungkook says, leaning back in his chair now, deflated. "I tried explaining to him that I don't set deadlines- I just give rough time frames, but I don't mind if things take a bit longer." He mumbles, before he shudders. "And then he- he became angry. I tried telling him to calm down, but he wouldn't listen and- he, I don't know, held onto one of the metal side parts and then, lost balance and-" jungkook looks at a spot on the wall, voice drifting off until the officer tries snapping him out of it.

"Its okay, we know what happened next." The man reassures. "A coworker said you have a fiance?" He asks, and that makes Jungkook perk up- self-restraint hardly there as he tries to stay calm. "She'd been caught up in some trouble before as well. A house fire, a man died, she survived with some injuries. That must've been stressful on you." The man says.

"I.. yeah." Jungkook sighs. "She's been very hard on herself ever since then." He hums out, shaking his head. "What does that have to do with.. well, this though?" Jungkook wonders.

"Oh, well." The officer starts. "Maybe you two fought about something entirely different. After all-" the young officer opens his folder, leaning back in his chair before he looks at jungkook. "-the man that died in the house fire was his cousin."

Jungkook internally starts to bite himself. He's been aware of it, but he wasn't sure if the detectives and police in general would try this route on him. He stays calm on the outside however.

Don't freak out.

"I.. yeah, he was." Jungkook admits. "But, we had talked about it. He'd agreed that it had been an accident, nothing more." Jungkook says.

"Huh." The officer hums out. "Awful lot of accidents with you, really." The man says, accusingly. He's trying to rile Jungkook up- and it's working. "We've done some digging on you.." he starts, going through some papers as if he needed to re-read it. Jungkook had never understood that whole act the police puts up on him. "First arrest at 14. According to the documents it was for 'animal cruelty'." The officer says, before looking at him. "You killed the neighbour's pet dog and received a sentence for community service."

Jungkook nods. He remembers it. He'd snapped its neck like a twig, made it quick- he was no psychopath, but the lady had it coming. She continuously made fun of her son's autistic friend- she had needed a wake up call, and the dog had constantly snarled at him whenever he'd walked past that demon. He didn't regret a thing- but no one could ever know that.

"It was an accident." He says. "I was a kid, the dog had escaped or something, and then.. I don't even remember what happened." He sighs, furrowing his brows. The officer shrugs, leaning back.

"Maybe." He says.

"What are you trying to say?" Jungkook darkly says, watching the officer. "Are you implying that I've murdered him? Is that it?" He angrily says.

"Did you?" The officer asks calmly.

"Oh so this is what this is." Jungkook scoffs. "No, I did not. What kind of fucking reason would I have?"

"Your wife-" The officer starts, but Jungkook leans forwards, underlining his words with his finger pointing onto the table he's sitting at.

"You're making shit up is what this is.!" He grits out. "I did not fucking do it. It was an accident." He says, still leaning forwards- body language highly defensive. It makes the officer wonder for a second, before he himself leans back, giving into the energy Jungkook emits.

"Then you'll be fine having yourself investigated, no?" He asks, and Jungkook scoffs yet again.

"Yes please- you'll find nothing.!" He says, falling back into his chair.

And as he leaves the interrogation room later on, he can just hope that they really don't.

He really needs a backup plan.

[darlingandmreames]

Based on a meme I made that I haven't been able to stop thinking about since agsjfkdhs

********

When Ariadne had agreed to do the job, she'd assumed it would be Cobb who taught her the basics of dream construction. He was obviously the head of the job and was himself a former architect, so it made sense. Or at least she thought it would have.

She'd spent most of her time so far working with Arthur though. It certainly wasn't a bad trade- Arthur was firm but pleasant, expecting her to put in the work but also willing to stop and explain when she didn't understand something. The fact that his subconscious hadn't tried to kill her yet was an added benefit too.

The best part of working with Arthur, though, was getting to see his interactions with Eames.

She hadn't thought much of their bickering when Eames had first gotten in to Paris. Everybody had a coworker they weren't a fan of, and Arthur and Eames we're clearly that for each other: two men who recognized each other's skill but didn't like each other personally. Except it wasn't entirely antagonistic. There was a bit of fondness in their interactions that took a bit to see, but was impossible to ignore once she'd noticed it. The bickering, the sarcasm, the pet names- it was almost teasing, or maybe even flirting. There was even something almost sweet about it at times, though Ariadne doubted either man would appreciate that observation, and she quickly found herself drawn into the odd dynamic, trying to figure it out.

"Darling?"

Arthur sighed, not looking up from his laptop. "Yes, Eames?"

"I was wondering if you had much information on Fischer's mother's death." Eames leaned against the table, grinning down at Arthur with a raised eyebrow. "If you've gotten there, of course. I know you've got your whole system of doing things, and I'd hate to ask you to get something out of order."

Arthur shot him a glare. "How unbelievably kind of you."

Ariadne tried not to smile as Eames glanced her way, giving her a quick wink. Arthur's banter was usually a reaction but Eames' teasing was very much an intentional and planned thing, and he wasn't above acknowledging it. Ariadne appreciated the brief glimpse into what seemed to be somewhere between an inside joke and a tradition between the two of them- it was a small thing, but it helped her feel a little less like an outsider.

The conversation quickly turned more serious, Arthur filling Eames in on the details he'd gathered about Fischer's mother's death and Eames nodding along, mostly silent save for the occasional question. Despite initial appearances, they really did seem to work well together and while it was less entertaining than the bickering, Ariadne enjoyed being able to see these interactions too. She drifted between watching them and making her way slowly through the article Arthur had given her.

Eames' attention was clearly already back on his work when he straightened back up. He clapped Arthur on the shoulder, turning to head back to his work station with an absentminded hum. "Thanks, babygirl, you're the best."

If there was anything Ariadne had learned about Arthur over the past few weeks, it was that he was a calm, even-keeled man. Very little seemed to get any significant reaction from him, so while the wide eyes and sudden blush might not have been particularly noteworthy on most people, it seemed almost comically exaggerated on Arthur as he looked over at Eames and then quickly back at his laptop. Ariadne could see him trying to hurriedly pull himself back together, but not even his best efforts seemed to be able to keep what was becoming an increasingly pronounced blush from creeping into his cheeks.

His face was still noticeably red when he cleared his throat a couple of seconds later, finally looking back over at Ariadne and gesturing to the article. "Did you, um, did you have any questions?"

"Yeah." Ariadne rested her chin in her hand, fixing Arthur with an amused look. "Why does Eames call you babygirl?"

Arthur looked back at his computer with a frown, even redder than he had been a few seconds earlier. "How about we stop talking for a little while?"

Ariadne grinned, turning back to the article in front of her. It was tempting to tease Arthur about the interaction more, but letting it drop seemed like the best choice, at least for now. She glanced up, looking between Arthur and Eames a few tables away and trying to resist the urge to chuckle- an interesting dynamic indeed.

[hisgirlfriday22]

Untangle Me

Chapter One - McGuire’s Pub

.........

"Come on, Molly, you never do anything fun! It's only one night, and it wouldn't be the same without you!"

Molly sighed as she rolled her eyes at her coworker and friend. "That's not true, Hannah. I do plenty of fun things.." She muttered as she continued to straighten up her classroom. Due to the rainy weather outside, she'd been forced to keep her toddlers inside, and they'd practically trashed the room out of boredom. Ahh, the life of a preschool teacher...

"Pffft, sure you do. You work and you babysit. And when you're not watching kids, you go home and watch Netflix, am I right? Don't even try to deny it. Besides, what is one night out going to hurt?" Hannah asked. Her brow was raised as she gave Molly a smug smirk. She was right and she knew it.

Molly sighed and opened her mouth to speak, but she was quickly cut off by her friend once more.

"You haven't even had a night out since you broke up with Asher..."

Molly tensed a bit as she turned to look at Hannah. A hard glare was evident in her eyes. "That's not fair." She said firmly. Molly hadn't had the best relationship with Asher, and though it took so long for her to admit it to herself, breaking up with him had been the best thing she'd ever done for herself. But, it still was painful. She'd spent years with him, and it was hard to just let all of that go.

Hannah frowned at the look on her friend's face. She was regretful of her words, or rather, how she'd put them. She knew Asher was a tough subject for Molly and she should have never brought him up. Still, she knew a night out with her friends was exactly what Molly needed, even if she didn't see it. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you, that's all. You're always doing things for others, but you never do anything for yourself. I think a night out is just what you need. "

Molly sighed as she placed the last stray toy on the shelf. She really just wanted to go home and have a relaxing night in, but perhaps there was some truth in what Hannah was saying. "You know what...fine, I'll go. But just this once, okay? And you have to promise not to harass me about going out again."

A bright grin spread across Hannah's face as she nodded eagerly. "Deal! We're meeting at McGuire's pub at 8:30, don't be late! I swear you're going to have the best time! You won't regret it!"

.....

And so that's how Molly found herself seated at a table with Hannah and Sophie, surrounded by drunk people and loud Irish music. If she was honest, this wasn't her cup of tea and she longed to go home, but she didn't want to disappoint her friends. So, she sipped idly at a glass of wine and took in her surroundings the best she could.

Sophia and Hannah had gotten lost in their own conversation, and though Molly knew they weren't trying to exclude her in any way, she felt like a third wheel and didn't want to butt into the conversation. Using the excuse of getting a second glass of wine, Molly stood from the table and made her way toward the surprisingly less crowded bar and took a seat. She let out a quiet sigh as she pulled out her phone from her pocket and began scrolling through her notifications. She quickly got lost in her own little world until she was interrupted by the feeling of an arm wrapping around her waist.

With a gasp, Molly looked up to see the smiling face of a man about her age, maybe a bit older. "There you are, Sweetheart, I wondering where you'd gotten off to." He said in a thick Australian accent. His bold actions and words earned a look of complete bewilderment from Molly. Who was this man and what the hell did he think he was doing?

"I..." Molly started, but she paused when the man leaned forward to whisper in her ear.

"Just play along...The man beside you slipped something into your drink. " He whispered, causing Molly to tense. She did her best not to look at the man beside her or her drink. Instead, she forced a smile and looked up at the oddly familiar man.

"Hey! Just thought I'd wait for you at the bar." She told him. Molly wondered if her face betrayed her confusion, and perhaps her fear. She really hoped not, though she did have a hard time controlling her expressions.

"Good call." The man replied before looking to the bartender. He ordered himself a Guinness before turning his attention to Molly. "And what do you want, Love?" Damn this man was laying it on thick, wasn't he?"

"Oh,um, just water with lime please." She said to the bartender, forcing a smile. She wanted to get away from this whole situation, but it seemed she was rather stuck. If she walked away now, it'd be quite clear to the man who attempted to drug her that she wasn't with the man who was being far too familiar with her for her liking.

Thankfully the man seemed to note Molly's discomfort, so he removed his arm from her waist before reaching for her hand. "Want to step outside a bit?" He asked her in a whisper, to which Molly nodded as she quickly slid off the barstool, not letting go of her water for a moment. She kept a hold of the man's hand as they weaved through the crowd of people and headed straight toward the outdoor seating area.

Molly was apprehensive about going outside with this man, and understandably so. She didn't know him, she didn't know his intentions. Still, he had saved her from something horrible, and though looks could be deceiving, he seemed completely harmless.

As they stepped out into the cool autumn air, Molly let out a shaky breath that she hadn't realized she'd been holding. Her hand was still holding on to the man's hand as he led her to an empty table toward the back of the patio.

"I'd let you keep it if I didn't need it." The man teased with a grin as he gently tugged his hand away from Molly's grip.

Molly felt her cheeks burn with a blush and she quickly stuffed her hand into the pocket of her skinny jeans. She cleared her throat and took a seat at the table. "Sorry about that...Uh, thank you for...back there. I should have been paying more attention." She said.

A soft smile tugged at his lips as the man took a seat across from Molly at the table. "It's alright. I can tell your mind is a bit preoccupied. I'm just glad I got to you before you took a sip." He said. His smile faded slightly as the gravity of the situation seemed to hit him. However, his smile quickly returned as he offered his hand to Molly once more. "My name's Lachlan, uh, but my friends call me Lachy."

Molly slipped her hand into his and shook it gently, her smile mirroring his. "It's nice to meet you Lachy, despite the circumstances. I'm Molly." She couldn't help but wonder why he seemed so familiar to her. There had to be somewhere she'd seen him before, though she couldn't think of where. It wasn't really all that common to see an Australian in Folly Beach, South Carolina...

Molly was once again pulled from her thoughts by the sound of a muttered curse. She looked at Lachy to see an apologetic look on his face. "I have to go. My set starts in ten minutes." Molly must have had a confused expression on her face because Lachy gestured toward the door as he continued. "My uh, my band. We're playing next. I'm sure they're wondering where I'm at. Uh...You could come with me if you want? I'm sure it'd be okay for you to stand where out guitar cases are..."

Molly nodded slowly. "Oh, of course. Yeah, you should go." She said, smiling a bit. "I have friends here, actually. And they're probably wondering where I went. I should go find them." She explained.

Lachy gave her a curious look, and Molly figured he was wondering why she'd separated from her friends, but thankfully he didn't question it. Instead, he scratched the back of his neck nervously. "I see. Well, uh, if you're planning on staying for a while, would you like to have a drink after the set?"

Molly hesitated for a moment before she responded with a nod. She didn't know this guy, she really shouldn't be agreeing to spend time with him, but she felt she owed him at least a drink. He did potentially save her life, after all. Besides, she was certain Sophia and Hannah would be in their own little world the rest of the night anyway if they hadn't found guys to dance with already, that is. "Sure, that sounds nice." She said, offering him one more smile.

Lachy's smile brightened a bit as he offered her his hand, which Molly took against her better judgment and the two made their way back into the bar. After a quick 'see you later", they quickly went their separate ways, Lachy heading toward the small stage while Molly returned to the table with her friends. She wasn't even certain they had realized she had slipped away until Hannah gave her an accusing look.

"And where the hell have you been?" She asked her. "You slipped away to get another glass of wine almost 45 minutes ago!"

Molly bit her lip and held up her glass of water. "Uh, long story." She said as she slid into the chair she'd occupied previously.

"Mhmm, and who was that guy you were walking back in with?" Sophia questioned. A sly smirk tugged at her lips, and Molly had to stop herself from rolling her eyes.

"Just a guy I met. He kinda saved me from a potentially bad situation." She said with a shrug before she sipped the cold water. "Apparently someone slipped something into my drink." She held her hand up before her friends could begin freaking out. "Don't worry, I didn't drink any of it. Thankfully he was there."

"Molly, you have to pay attention. That's why it's better to stay with the group you came with." Hannah's voice was edged with annoyance, but Molly ignored it.

"Well, I'm fine." She left the conversation at that, not offering to say anything else on the matter as the sound of Irish folk music began to drift through the pub. Molly turned her attention to the stage, and her eyes widened slightly as she looked at the other people who joined Lachy on the stage. At least two of them seemed familiar as well, and she knew exactly where she'd seen them before.

"Molly, you okay?" Hannah asked, having noticed the strange expression on her friend's face. "I take it you recognize them?"

Molly looked to Hannah, her eyes were still wide with shock. "Why are the..."

Sophie interrupted Molly as she yelled out over the loud music. "They have 21 and up gig at Irish pubs and bars when they tour the U.S. and Canada, we thought it might be fun to go. We see enough of them at work, after all, maybe their adult shows aren't so bad. Oh don't look so put out, it's going to be fun! They sing Irish and Scottish Folk music from what I understand."

"But the damn Wiggles?" Molly asked, in exasperation. That's where she'd seen Lachy before. She'd seen him almost daily on the classroom TV for 30 minutes before the toddlers went down for their nap. The same man on stage, singing the first few lines of Loch Lomond was the same man who pretended to fall asleep in the most random places on her toddlers' favorite tv show.

"Well, their band is called the Unusual Commoners. But yes, three of them, at least are Wiggles." Hannah replied with a snorted laugh. "What, you didn't recognize him earlier?"

Molly's eyes widened again as the girls continued with their giggles. "You look shocked...We saw you step out with him, and no, we didn't think you knew who he was...You should get his number, he's a cutie." Sophie teased. Her words were slurred a bit, which told Molly she'd probably already had more than enough alcohol for the night.

Molly rolled her eyes and sipped her drink. She didn't dignify that comment with a response as she turned her attention back to the stage where the man she'd just spent almost an hour with was singing his heart out and playing the hell out of a guitar. She had to admit, he was good, very good.

"For a Wiggle." She murmured with a small smile as she settled in her chair to enjoy the rest of the set.

[starscreamxmegs]

About me-

Or "Why I won't date another person of the Ace spectrum again, sorry..."

Let me preface this by saying this is NOT ACEPHOBIC. I am NOT -phobic. They are valid and belong in the LGBT+ and I love them and defend them as I would every other identity/sexuality/humanity. Good? Good. Okay, here we go.

LONG post, apologies! I just really needed to get this off my chest. ; 3 ;

Context: So I'm still in the closet bc of my non accepting family, but I'll be moving out soon so I can be who I am. Come from Jehovah's Witness family, raised to be JW, but I dont want to be, am in the closet and dragging my heels about the JW religion. PIMO, let's make this simple. Will be moving out and be free to be out and me soon.

I'm [20 y/o F], bi/maybe lesb. (not sure yet), and dated [22y/o F] bi/ace/demi/queer. Let's just call her "Selene".

Anyways, me and Selene have been friends for years. We met in an online chatroom for fandom stuffs and got excited over fan shows/characters we liked, boom, friendship! I was like, 12ish, and she was in hs. Anyways, we would rp and write stories together, we were really good at it and writing/talking to each other made me really happy.

Skyped and video chatted too! I was so happy to put a face to my best friend now!

I had fallen in love with her mind and her intelligence first, then I thought she was the coolest/cutest thing I'd ever met. My parents always thought it was weird that we talked/spent so much time together, and sometimes called into question our relationship bc they hate the GAYS*tm and I lied through the skin of my teeth that no, we're just friends looool. When really,

I told her that I liked her and I've liked her for a good while then when I was a sophomore. And she shared the same feeling too, and so we secretly dated that whole year. And I was so happy. I genuinely loved her and could see myself spending the rest of my life with her.

My parents were really close to discovering us again so I broke it off with Selene that same year. She was sad and understanding, but we went back to being friends easily. And so go back to writing together, tell each other how we are, etc., y'know, the regular stuff of being internet friends.

Then to recent years: Writing more, be friends, etc. I graduated 2017, get job, go to community college, turn 18.

I turn 19, things change. I'm sitting on a decent pile of money for my age, and I tell her that I think it's time we meet. She agrees and we get it all planned out.

See, Selene lives out of state, and pretty waaaaay out of state. I'm talking about how she and her locals refer to the rest of the U.S. as 'lower 48', and my locals and I say 'hella'. Get the general distance/location now? Good. And I've been pretty sheltered all my life, plus don't drive yet. (Still working on it).

And top it off, we've been talking again about our recent relationships going on, she'd been seeing some guy who'd been treating her like shit, she'd vent to me about it, I'd listen and offer her advice/comfort about it, and trying to keep my negativity/jealousy separate from the situation bc I was still in love with her even after all that time. So, trying to support and help her while wanting them to break up and tell her my undying love, (I feel like this was manipulative of me looking back).

Anyways, a few months before my plane trip over, they break up (I didn't have anything to do with it, she had enough of him not putting in any work, as I understand it.) and we get to talking again and I tell her that I still love her. And to give me a chance, please. She's open to it and will think about it, but we both agree that during my stay with her and (her host family) that we're just friends meeting each other finally, y'know? Just so there wouldnt be any awkwardness.

I'd filled in my coworkers in about my love life since I cant go to my actual family for love and support, so they made me feel validated/comforted about me so I could actually get the confidence to be myself about my sexuality, so I was ready for this vacation and Selene.

First plane ride. Went over the Pacific Northwest. Over the ocean. It was beautiful. I'd definitely gotten bit by the traveling bug and I'll want to go take another trip in the future.

Land in state. We finally meet. She runs over to hug me. She's beautiful and nerdy and plump and adorable, just like in the Skype calls so I knew I wasnt going to be murdered by this stranger. Everything was so new and strange and I was happy to be there.

Arrive at the house. Miles and miles of trees all around, super remote. It's beautiful. Met the family. They were very kind and hospitable. I would be staying the week with them and bunk in her room. I was very cheery but awkward the first few days bc y'know, strangers, but in the end I got to know them a bit better and I really did like them. I sent them a thank you card with money when i got home, I do consider them friends now.

Anyway, spend week with them and her. Get to know each other. She's quiet and nerdy, responsible- I came during the last of the semester, I feel bad for the timing but she reassured me it was fine, she did fine wrapping it up, so yay. We hugged a few times, once I ruffled her hair when we woke up (separate beds), but yeah that's about it. Nothing overly romantic, we're just friends on a getting to know friends visit yknow?

Notable events: Met her mom and sister, had dinner with them(different house). Went to a local fair with Selene and friend. The family had a bonfire and the kids (my age, they were late teens/20s) invited their friends [same age) and I made new friends- notably, a gay guy and I really came out of my shell with the camaraderie. Last day, Selene's brother drive us around to go buy souvenirs.

Last day: didnt realize it was the last day, flight was at midnight, didnt know it was that day. Selene and (host family) daughter(S's friend) drive me over like whoosh. We didnt even have time to say goodbye, I thought I was late so I was in a rush to the terminal.

But I didnt even get to say goodbye. No hug. At night when we were going to sleep, she'd ask me questions in the middle of the night- and I was planning that the last night of my stay during that time I'd ask her if we could sleep in the same bed (I'd been wanting to all week but didnt have the courage to). Didnt even make a move to her all week, was too scared how'd she react.

So I call her while waiting for my flight and break down to tears. No answer, went to voicemail. (I'm sure she still has it, even though you know what's going to happen) Next time, she answers. And I tell her everything. I was so happy to meet her, to spend time together, that i had fun, i was still in love with her, didn't want to make it awkward, that I'm afraid she's happy even without a relationship (that she doesn't need me/relationship to be happy), that I wanted to ask her to sleep in same bed but chickened out, etc.

And she's crying and tells me she wanted to sleep in same bed too. That she hasnt been happy for awhile and that yes, she feels the same for me.

So there I am crying/happy crying for an hour in the terminal waiting for my flight. Before I board, we agree to be girlfriends. I finally got the love of my life back. 100/10. Best feeling of my life. I could survive going back to my state and seeing her in exactly a year to "finish my unfinished business" --> "kiss the shit out of her".

Things are good then. I was aware of Selene's sexuality being ace/demi/bi/queer, and she of mine. I thought I could handle the thought of no sex or some other stuff she wasnt comft. with, i could work with that. I just wanted her.

Months go by tho. The steam is slowing down. Video calls only sometimes. They were like an injection of pep, then when the call ends, good feeling gone, and I had to carry on myself. I tried to limit the texts and desire to spam 'I love yous', etc. bc she's much more busy than I was academically, tried to be respectful of that. Be aware of her availability and times. I try to keep busy and come off as we're doing fine, I'm feeling fine.

But I wasnt. She had a problem of not replying back ever, days later. And I would be upset bc person I love more than anything else not giving me attention, not putting in effort. Very few phone calls/video calls, but when she did, those meant the work to me. I would even write her letters about how things were (y'know, to be romantic), and her packages in the mail of stuff I thought were cool and souvenirs from my state I thought she'd enjoy. Got nothing back.

I felt alone and that I was the only one putting in emotional labor into this relationship.

As this went on for months, I felt like the emotional toll was getting worse. That I was holding this relationship together with only duct tape and my bare hands.

And so I cheated on her. Girl in my uni class I'd known since elementary. We would be handsy during the lectures. No kissing, no sex, just caressing y'know? But I still felt guilty and an emotional attachment, even tho I was with my gf.

So I tell my coworkers about the development, who thought everything was going great. Get advice/disappointment since I can't talk to my family. And I decide to call Selene and fess up.

Begore clocking in: I was completely sorry. I really did regret what I did, and I still do. She's silent.

On break time: Call her again. She finally has answer. We talk and agree to talk mor in depth after work.

I really thought that if my love/I was strong enough, I could make this work.

We talk after, agree to work on communication issues, talk more so we can keep relationship going strong.

And so, things improve from then on for a bit.

Beginning of January. We're okay. Talk more. Send pics. Kinda happy, kinda not, but okay.

2 weeks in January: break up. We'd been heading down for a bit and then it came to a head. We'd tried to schedule the talk, it gets moved to on a day I work, and semester starting up for her and her having administrative duties.

We talk 2 hours before I go to work. I knew how it was going to end but I didnt want it to end, I didnt want to lose her. But she felt she was being unfair with how she was and my needs, she cant focus on school and me. She doesn't THINK of me when we're apart like I did of her. Didnt wsnt to lead me on, etc, didnt think it was fair to me, etc. Hopefully we can still be friends, etc.

And I'm sitting there just taking it. Trying to be understanding and not get angry, not cry. Tell her I understand, I'll still be here for her, yes of course we'll still be friends but I just CANNOT right now.

I was looking up to the ceiling, biting my lip, trying not to cry or scream or hate her. Of course we're friends above everything else in life, but I would need some time apart to cope with this. And she understood. And that while I was sad about her decision, that I still love her and would hope for another chance in the future, whenever that would be, bc I still love HER. She understood that (but personally I dont think that's gonna happen)

We ended the call on good terms. And I got ready for work. I hate my job, she knows that, but of all days to get broken up with- right before my shift. I hated her, I was heartbroken, I was in a daze, my stomach hurt and I wanted to throw up, I didn't eat, how could I?

The person I loved the most broken up with me and I had to pretend I was okay.

Luckily, I was able to cry/vent to my manager about it- he and my coworkers have been real solid to me, i really appreciate them.

But yeah, for the first few days I was miserable. And I couldn't even let the people closest to me, my family, my mom, know bc they wouldnt accept me. And so I had to suffer alone.

Not totally alone, though. I had my coworkers. We'd hang out and they'd let me be sad, be angry, be miserable, and be heard.

Cue to present day May:

I'm doing much better emotionally. My coworkers were a godsend, I dont think I could've managed without them tbh. I'm much more outgoing, we hang out all the time, we're actually really good friends. I have healthy adult friendships and connections despite what my sheltered paranoid family would have me believe, bc I've seen things. I've experienced things. I know now what a good social network is now.

For those who dont know, BOOM! My folks are Jehovah's Witnesses! Now you know why all this is stacked against me!

Anyways, me and Selene had only texted once since the breakup. I asked her to send me one of those decommissioned license plates I wanted to buy at the fair we went to and she agreed. We caught up some but the interaction was terse. We havent spoken since.

I have blocked her on FB messenger, on the various fandom websites we follow each other on, and finally, this month I decided to unfriend her on FB. It was too much, yknow?

I couldn't handle seeing her name pop up on my notifications for liking something of mine. I had the feeling of, Like, 'Bitch, how the fuck dare you?!' going through my head and I was angry. I had been suffering in silence with my own heartache while she's okay and I thought she had some nerve liking my shit, and I just couldn't handle the thought of her anymore. That she had no right to know anything more of my life.

Unfriending her was the last straw for me. It was too much, emotionally.

And so now, the only way for her to contact me is to text me. She has my number but no texts so far, and I'm kinda glad about it. I still consider us friends, we ARE still friends, but I'm too sad and hurt still to even think about her anymore. I still look at her profile sometimes but that's about it.

So yeah. Bc of this experience, I dont think I can handle another relationship with someone that's on the ACE spectrum. Let me be clear that I do not hate them- I know there's some controversy going round about whether Aces do belong in the LGBT+ community and I dont stand for that shit, of course they do. They are a valid orientation and I love them and I will defend them and every other person's right to sexual exp./gender exp., they are valid and I love them.

But I cannot, and will not date one again. I'm sorry but I cannot put myself through that again. It's just not for me.

Sorry for the long post. TD;LR: Loved an ace girl, got dumped by an ace girl, now I can't put myself through loving another ace person, sorry.

I hope you will understand and I wont get hate for it, and hopefully, have someone to talk to about it. Maybe I'm selfish, maybe I'm an awful person, maybe. But I feel like this is for the best and when we talk again my hurt feelings will have finally faded and we can truly be friends without my hurt feelings in the way. For now I'm trying to heal.

Here's to growing up and having matured emotions and social connections.

[longbottom-alice]

frank-orion​:

frank was content, thoroughly enjoying the bubble they were in – there was no paperwork calling his name, no case files to go over, no meetings to run. he didn’t have any of the junior aurors constantly asking him questions, which he honestly didn’t mind. it was simply nice to have a break from all of it. all of the chaos, the murders, the constant worry. frank was still worried, don’t get it wrong, but it was a low buzz, a small hum. he was engaged to alice and the world was better for it. he wasn’t wearing rose-colored glasses or anything, but frank just wanted to soak it all in before the bubble was no longer. frank was mid-sip of his wine when alice brought up telling others and he choked, sputtering.  it had caught him off guard, he was surprised. alice had been the one to insist they keep under the radar for a while and he didn’t have any problems with her request. whatever she needed, he was there. he wanted to be with her, no matter what. and sure, the past few weeks he’d found himself almost breaking their agreement when talking with friends or coworkers, with just a little mention of alice that would certainly pose questions from others, but he always caught himself in time. last week, frank had half a mind to just say fuck it and plant one on her in the middle of the department – he was itching to share the best thing that ever happened to him. frank sat his glass down on the small table next to the swing, turning towards her slightly with a raise of his eyebrows. “i’m glad to hear you say that,” he admitted. “i was hoping to talk about it sometime soon, but i wanted to wait until you were ready.” long ago, the danger he’d be putting himself in was mulled over in his head and it was about a 30 second conversation with himself. frank would handle it. they would handle it together when the time came. the sliver of him that proposed irritational notions was prepared to make it known to the other side just who he was to take some of the heat off alice and arthur, but frank knew he couldn’t. “i have no reservations about it, but – you’re sure, love?”

@alicexyen​

She couldn't help but laugh fondly at Frank's response. She hadn't meant to catch him off guard. It was something she'd been thinking about all week, even before everything had changed. She had gone back and forth with it a few times. Her heart wrestling with her head. Whilst having to keep things secret certainly had its perks, ultimately she just wanted to be with him without having to worry about what they could or could not do in public. She would probably always worry about the target it would put on his back, but it was well known he was one of her closest friends, so he was probably at risk anyway. Not as much risk, but still. "I don't think i'll ever be a hundred percent sure, you understand why yeah?" alice knew that frank knew his safety was the only reason she was hesitant but she also felt that she needed to reassure him of that "i think you'd be the same if the roles were reversed- but- it's also killing me not being able to share this with anyone- it feels weird that most of our friends don't know." She didn't really like keeping secrets from them, even if her reasons were valid. "and maybe its a little indulgent but I quite like the idea of people knowing the eligible Frank Longbottom is off the market and he's all mine" she teased but it was true. "So yes, i'd like to tell our friends when we go back and then just stop hiding it" she smiled at the thought of the little things like being able to hold his hand in public, it was such a small thing but she craved it. Him in her life properly. She just hoped she wasn't putting him in too much danger. She let out a relieved sigh, even just saying it felt like a weight off her shoulders, she hadn't actually realised how much it had been affecting her.

@frank-orion​