#I'd have more money than they made with this livestream

[dragonairice]

Violence

[cherriko-art]

I haven't even started Leah's romance route yet but I've already got their entire relationship and dynamic mapped out in my head.

Rambling into the void, but my female farmer OC, Mili, is basically a female himbo. I'd like to think that she doesn't really get all the passive aggressive jabs Leah makes to the farmer in the beginning of the game, and it makes Leah feel kinda bad abt it later on. As they grow more familiar with each other, I'd believe Mili's tenacious attitude eventually wears down Leah's defensive walls and she starts to grow fond of Mili and her lil' antics (much to Leah's own horror).

And since Mili is kinda airheaded but kind, she's easy to take advantage of, even if others don't exactly have any ill intentions. This would start to annoy Leah as she sees Mili running around helping everyone and their dog around town, and she starts to get kinda overprotective of Mili, and chastises her for never being able to say no to anyone (both farmer siblings are like this tbh). I kinda headcanon that Leah hates Scott bc 1. She's lowkey jealous that Mili and Scott hang out a lot in the mines (but she can't bring herself to go to there herself, its gross and dirty and also there's no reception) but mainly bc 2. She thinks Scott is absolutely full of shit with his museum that exists purely due to all the donations Mili makes to it, but he essentially takes all the credit for. Mili disagrees, but regardless, Leah and Scott don't get along.

After they start dating, Leah becomes an overprotective but proud gf who loves showing Mili off to her followers. The only thing is that she despairs over Mili's lack of fashion sense, esp since Mili's older sibling, Lu-Ran, is perfectly well-dressed themselves. So it becomes her hobby to dress Mili up in cute but practical clothes.

On Mili's end, she's just a simple girl with simple thoughts. Leah is a drop-dead gorgeous gf with a heart of gold (according to Mili, disagreed with by many others). She doesn't really get all the influencer stuff but she's supportive and likes to chat with Leah's followers on livestreams. She doesn't know that Leah's followers have basically formed a Mili Fan Club/Protection Squad.

I also like to think that Leah is a lifestyle influencer and environmental advocate. She donates the money made during livestreams and sponsorships towards environmental research and causes. My headcanon is that she's one of Ling's main sponsor (anonymous of course) for her coral research.

Overall, I'm a big fan of "opposites attract" tropes, so I am obsessed with my OC Mili and seeing how the relationship dynamic with Leah would work out. Mili would help Leah become more emotionally vulnerable and be less rigid, while Leah would be a solid rock in Mili's chaotic life who helps keep her grounded and remind her to take care of herself and not just others. Leah is a bit antisocial though, despite being an influencer, so being together with the social butterfly that Mili is would be quite interesting. With Mili as the bridge, Leah would eventually open up to other villagers too and become friends with Mili's friends too (other than Scott of course). From the get-go, Leah would get along very well with Mili's older sibling (my other farmer OC), Lu-Ran, as they're very down-to-earth, quiet and acceptably-dressed (to Leah's standards).

Anyways, if you actually read my word vomit, thank you for entertaining my 2am brain ramblings.

[mike-dragon]

I Need a Game Over (Short Vent)

As the days go on the more and more I come to believe that my only purpose in this world is to be a servant to the will of others and give up on all of my needs and wants and just quietly accept everything that is imposed upon me. Just about a week go I was forced to give up livestreaming and for the past couple weeks I couldn't do anything but to dedicate basically 24 hours of the day to the care and aid of my elderly father. Absurd amounts of stress and financial distress surely are not helping either, and with each new day that goes by, I more and more am convinced that unless I manage to move out and live alone, away from my family, the more likely it is that one day I may cause my life to end early, for as I have already exposed on a long Journal on my Deviant Art (https://www.deviantart.com/mike-dragon/journal/I-Don-t-Want-to-Play-Anymore-1028684784) a few days ago, I already wish I'd go to sleep one night and simply never woke up again. Right now I literally cannot even get a s#itty job to earn some money because I am the one who has to take care of my dad. Make no mistake, I love him, but I am now living even less than I was before.

I have so much on my mind that I had to give up streaming and can't even finish the ONE commission I got nearly over a year ago. I also made an account on Ko-Fi (https://ko-fi.com/mikedragon) for I intended to set up some kind of shop, but not even that I can get off the ground, for everything and everyone around me force me indirectly and directly to literally bury all my plans deep down and forget about them.

I'm telling you, I'm tired. And I am still too young to be this tired of trying.

[fourseasonsfigs]

600, or a musing on resilience and love

Hello all you wonderful figthusiasts! Today is the day that I hit 600 fan figs on my spreadsheet total (not all in hand, the vast majority are in some stage of production or transport), and I wanted to take a minute to stop and celebrate what is, by all accounts, an incredible number.

This is less about me (and my perhaps fiscally-questionable use of disposable cash) and more about the fact that more than 600 individual figures of Gong Jun and Zhang Zhehan were produced and made solely by fans. That this many actually exist in the world. What this is about, above all other things, is about love, and resilience, and the awe-inspiring, unstoppable combination of both.

I don't normally talk about the current situation with Zhang Zhehan and Chinese entertainment, because this blog is meant to be a little island of happiness and fun for us that love this show, love these two actors, and love seeing cute renditions of them. But 600...well, 600 feels powerful. It feels like something worth talking about.

This fandom has had half of our vibrant, beautiful soul ripped from us in the nastiest, cruelest, most contemptible way possible. This is greed and evil in the most overt form I've seen in the world, and it was horrifying to watch it unfold that August.

As overseas fans, we at least can still see Zhang Zhehan's past works, post videos and photos of him, and freely say his name as much as we want. The Chinese fandom cannot. Zhang Zhehan has been so comprehensively erased from Chinese media that he cannot even use his own name. The fandom can't even search for his name online, his pictures and videos have been removed, and any of the shows or movies that feature him that remains still available has him (literally) scrubbed from the screen.

This is what I see when I search for Zhang Zhehan on Taobao, Weidian, and Xianyu:

The Chinese fans have taken matters into their own hands, and stood up and fought back and refused to forget him. The fig makers, the doll makers, the merch makers - all of these incredibly brave, loyal, and loving fans have gone out there and dedicated thousands and thousands of hours of their own time and their own money to keeping his memory fresh, his work front and center, and his light constantly burning.

They took him from the fans, but they can't make the fans let him go.

Luckily, the fandom still has the other half of it's soul, and continues to celebrate Gong Jun and his accomplishments, and his own fiercely loyal and great heart, and celebrates the love and affection and care these two souls have for each other. Zhehan promised Junjun forever on May 5th, 2021, and the fandom honors and helps keep his promise.

Think about it. Six-hundred-plus fan-created figurines of the two of them. I don't even own all the fan figs - there's absolutely more than this, I'd estimate closer to 700.

There's Wenzhou figs, of course, but random side character in a long ago TV show? Check. Main characters? Check. Appearance(s) on a variety show? Check. Ad campaigns? (Lots of) magazine shoots? Check check. Casual airport outfit? Workout pose? Douyin moment? any number of Weibo posts? Livestream? not just one, not just two, not just three, renditions of childhood photos? Check check check.

And the figs are still coming. I have a whole list of figs in sketch form sitting in my Weidian cart, waiting to be opened for deposits. One after another, fig makers dipping deep into their precious hoards of recorded shows and magazines and photos and videos of Zhehan, designing one fig after another. Every time Junjun wears some fancy new designer outfit, fans are hard at work pairing that look with a complementary one from Zhehan's archive, determined to keep these two front and center in a country where they can't even type Zhehan's name into a search engine without it being censored.

My respect for the Chinese fandom and the fan creators is immense. They have souls of steel. Every time I hold one of these figs in my hand, and marvel at the cleverness and creativity and all the fine little details, I feel the strength of that connection to them, that iron determination, the fierce will to persevere, that pride and joy, and the love that can't be stopped. 坚强 indeed.

Yeah, 600+ figs is a trauma response, no question. For the fan makers and the fan buyers. But it's a response, all right. Today I have 600 and more tiny (giant) shouts of, you can't stop us, we're going to keep loving and celebrating and remembering him no matter what happens.

It's incredible. I don't know why 600 is the number that really hits me - I had thought it would be 500, but I blew past 500 without blinking in a frenzy of late night and early morning fig drops, and then it was Gong Jun's birthday, and a tidal wave of love and figs, and now here I am. I was at 598 yesterday and already today I'm at 612. I'll be at 700 before I know it, with a lot of remainders starting to be released and the Spring Festival coming up.

I have less than 200 fan figs actually at home, and it's ... a lot. My husband asked me a while back, staring at my display shelves, so, what's the end game here? and I just looked at him, and said, I don't know.

I really don't. I have to believe this is totally unprecedented, but then again, what happened to him is totally unprecedented. The only thing I know that if the fans keep making them, I'm going to keep supporting them.

So here's to resistance, and resilience, and love. Here's to the fans staying strong, and here's to Gong Jun and Zhang Zhehan. It's going to be a glorious sunrise on the mountaintop when it comes.

[goldenpinof]

why? bc i was thinking about what i watch and what i'd like to see from dan, basically what you said to the previous anon. in late 2018 (at the end of the dan and phil era coincidentally) my taste shifted a lot from mostly comedy and vloggers to video essays and comentary so personally i'd love to see something like that from dan, but i have no idea what dan wants to do. what do you think he wants to do? what's something he'll find fulfilling and sustainable?

i'm going insane reading all these asks about what's next for dan's career. i lobe him i want him to succeed, i want him to get attention and i want to be entertained by him <3

me 🤝 you

sustainable? this is UNSUSTAINABLE!! (sorry, the last promo got in the eyes).

i think he wants (or wanted before wad) to get into stand-up comedy. at some point he proclaimed himself a comedian and started acting like one. unsuccessfully, in my opinion. he is a bad actor, but he is good at exaggerating his feelings. and this is why wad show worked for those who were familiar with Dan, his content, his internet personality and the phandom. i think he loves attention from real life audience, and he loves connecting to the audience while being on stage, so audience participation is an important part of what he wants. (let's count how many times i say "audience"). a not-so-strict script that allows to ask questions, react to answers, comment on people's reactions, make faces, laugh randomly, adjust the show to what is happening on stage – that's a stand-up show that hundreds of people are doing. and i think Dan would be very fucking good at it. the problem is the theme of said stand-up. and i think Dan would love for it to not rely on youtube as heavily as it did during wad (which wasn't an actual stand-up comedy).

remember the last vidcon he attended and the panel that felt like a Ted Talk? it was a fail, i'd say. partly because the audience was too diverse in a sense that phannies weren't the majority. and i'm glad he didn't push this type of career path. wad was so much better, but it was also targeted at the people who already knew him. even if in the beginning i think he was trying to get a wider audience, the lack of funding or enthusiasm promo-wise made it impossible for the "outsiders" to make the experience strange for everyone, Dan including. wad happened to be for us. but was it successful or fulfilling, or sustainable? no. not in a money / audience growth / similar future tours ways. there should be done a lot of changes. and i guess completely changing his management was the 1st and very important step. it was fulfilling in a way that he met us, he saw what his coming out did and what an incredible impact he had on us (not to mention that ii was almost the same. a bunch of gays gathered together).

he clearly wants something bigger than we aka phandom can give him. and for that he must change the theme or/and concept of his shows. i do think that he will try to do a performance again. and i hope it's gonna be less acting and more improvisation.

i'm not sure about a filmed show. he sucks as an actor, and i don't want him to fail :( but if Joey Graceffa successfully put out Escape the Night and Liza Koshy had a series that didn't require more acting than her own skits, maybe something similar could be alright?! "danisnotokay" is an outdated title though. we need to change it, he is not 25 anymore, come on.

basically, he loves attention, complaining about his life, trauma dumping, edgy jokes, screaming, laughing, sex jokes, feeling liked, loved and wanted. he fucking beams when people applaud him. and for that he needs audience. he could get all of it minus an applause with a podcast or livestreams, but he is a stubborn asshole, so i do hope to see him on stage again. preferably a smaller one and with new topics to discuss.

[alltimefail-sims]

Idk if I'm super late to this or if I missed a response, but I'd like to hear your thoughts about Roberto Crinkletop being Robert Crumplebottom. I'm not sure how I feel about it and would be happy hearing somebody else's opinion

You are not late on this nor did you miss a post from me about Roberto, but oh boy do I have thoughts! LOTS of them! I forgot about EA's atrocious little video until this ask remined me. Thank you!

I considered making a whole lore post on Agnes and I still might - but this whole thing with Roberto has re-contextualized her lore in the most inconsistent way, in my opinion. It has also discouraged me from wanting to talk about her. No surprise there though - they have fumbled the ball with lore in TS4 time and time again, and I think I am apart of a minority that just doesn't want them to address it any more. Even the slight mention of the Landgraabs in their most recent livestream made my skin crawl in the worst way. I just wish the Sims team would just stop pandering to a fanbase they do not care about in order to seem like they're putting thought into these families when they make them (spoiler: it's clear they don't put that much thought into them, if any at all. I truly believe they used to care, but that has been lost to time and that's why the games just aren't the same as they used to be. Trying to fuck with preexisting families, like the Goths for example, is only ruining what made them good in the first place... but I digress.)

Basically though, I'll sum it up now by saying that it seemed to be canon that the death and/or disappearance of Agnes' husband is what made her turn sour and callous (grief is what made her the person she is today, grief and loss made her hate romance). But then that wretched video drops and they decide to portray young Agnes as this mean, naggy wife that her poor husband (eye roll...) had to escape from? It even feels like they're insinuating that she was actually abusive because he says coming to Chestnut Ridge and becoming a nectar maker literally saved his life. Like holy shit! Just seems really fucking dumb to me if we're being honest!

It's just lazy writing, and it doesn't make sense with what we know of Agnes from TS2/TS3. In the original games it felt like she was a nuisance and a miserable old woman who we're supposed to feel bad for. In TS2 her actions aren't explained, but we know she is adverse to romance. In TS3 we see her in a whole new light, and it's pretty devastating how the loss clearly impacted her (that half unfinished nursery lives in my mind rent free). It was implied that they loved each other, in my opinion, but it seems like the Sims team will never miss an opportunity to villainize a female premade. I'm serious - it's actually getting concerning how the negative traits or actions of the male characters in this game are always twisted to be endearing, understandable, or momentarily misguided. But the women? Oh no, they're insufferable nags, abusers whose husbands need to leave them, women who never really loved their spouses at all, they're evil, they're mean, they're distant, they are bad wives and mothers, they are money-hungry, they are killers, and that's the whole of their marketing.

Poor uwu baby boys, save them from the mean ladies!! And if they cheat on the mean ladies, the ladies deserved it! If they are a serial cheater who will go as far as to leave their fiance at the aisle, that's okay because they're just a lovable himbo! If their wives go missing and they date a woman much younger than them, that's okay - she's actually the money hungry one! Yes he is lazy and does not have any ambition or drive, but his wife is so mean for being tired of their life being stagnant - she is the problem! She is a money hungry evil woman and he is just her husband who has no idea! He's rich and literally lives with her but uhhhh he's so nice that the estranged son (who looks just like him) isn't even his!

Ugh. Give me a break sims team. I'm tired!

[leefi]

@staff if you want to maintain and grow your user base you have to lean into what makes tumblr unique, not introduce half-baked ideas from other websites.

Marketplace replacing the blog on the main app UI makes no sense:

1) This is a blogging website and you're moving its most personal, primary function in a less trafficked area just to draw attention to a feature that isn't even complete yet. Put profiles/blogs back where they should be and have Marketplace populate the upper right corner - it takes 3 (3!!!) taps to access drafts. This is just bad UI. You can drive more traffic to Marketplace without annoying your users by adding unintrusive visual reminders while scrolling and incorporating a smaller place to access it from high-trafficked areas.

2) The ideas you have for it are very cute but as I mentioned it's barebones right now. I don't even see Blaze listed as a purchaseable in the app version. If you want to keep emulating tiktok introduce more gifts you can give to other users. I think it's a very neat idea.

Lives are a terrible idea:

You have no architecture for livestreaming. You have never been a video-sharing platform. People do not think of tumblr when they want to watch a stream. They will not start thinking of tumblr when they want to watch a stream. Your only external marketing is your social media posts on other websites.

I’m going to assume you’re building this feature from the ground up. Live-streaming has been going through a major shift in the last few years and I’m sorry but tumblr is not the place it is going to take off. Twitch is the OG live-streaming platform and it is suffering. YouTube is still trying to gain a foothold after entering the market 3 years ago. To users it looks like you’re throwing a bunch of popular ideas at the wall right now and seeing what sticks - but this is an incredibly clunky, annoying, high effort-low reward one.

Rather than build your own Live features, improve integration with existing big hitters. Your Twitch integration is already pretty good - all I'd advise would be to find a way to access the chat as well. Add in TikTok integration as well as YouTube integration (you may already have this, I haven't tried it). It doesn't have to stop at lives - for example, Instagram users are able to post TikToks to their stories directly from the app. You could do the same with uploading from tiktok directly to tumblr.

Making the site more attractive (and growing your userbase in a more efficient way):

In-app image editing options (cropping, rotating. You could even make this fun by adding a few tumblr-specific filters that reference site culture)

Improved video uploading & player - offer increased video size for subscribing users.

Improve tag/search function, ESPECIALLY within blogs. People are sick of not being able to search tags on their blogs on mobile, or searching for a post they know they made and having nothing come up. Incorporate more filters beyond post-type (i.e. option to see posts made by a specific user). Expand popularity timeframes (i.e. All Time, Recent, Past Month, Past Year). Look at Reddit's content sorting for inspiration.

Completely lift the NSFW ban. Introduce more robust content moderation filters, and funnel money that's currently going into useless features like Live into content moderation.

Look to Discord Nitro for subscription feature ideas such as animated avatars

Improve the Tipping function - take inspiration from Patreon and Ko-Fi. Maybe introduce a way to subscribe to blogs (can look at Twitch for inspiration for this - custom emotes, etc.)

Re-introduce search function to the main hotbar

Re-introduce editing a post on mobile even if you hadn't added anything after it's been published. Why did you disable this? People want to change tags or add a thought later.

Integrate with Discord - people can visit blogs right off the platform (see photos below)

I love this website and understand it needs to turn a profit, but you can do this without alienating your users!

[turnedpalefromlackofsun]

Wanna hear my opinion on transformers one?

Warning i get overly political lmao (sorry for being disgusting)

Usually I'm a huge fan of optimus prime but this time I was not inspired by his ass. It was lackluster and I would not follow him for anything.

Which made it hard to sympathize with both sides (optimus and megatron)

Megatron was having some sort of mental breakdown but even then we was way more compelling. And it makes sense.

When has a revolution ever been peaceful? That's the reason my race is still mistreated and then gaslit about it. We know peace doesn't change anything but we still softly go "hey please remove the discrimination? No? Awe ok. We dont want to cause trouble. Please think about it? We have evidence to bring to court. Oh rejected? Ok. Have a nice day then"

A system that bad needs to be completely destroyed and then rebuilt. It's like a plastic toy. You can't just move a part and expect it to stay moved. You have to snap it off and then glue it the way you want.

I wouldn't do what megatron did. And i also wouldnt join him. but if a megatron popped up I'd silently cheer him on 🤣

Yes king, take down all those who made us the public enemy by calling us privileged while taking away our resources under the guise of righteousness. They are too good at their lies. Remove them big boss.

.....silently i think to myself in my 23 hour shift in the mines kek

Like damn orion. We did show evidence in court. Politicians are just so good they claimed we lied and we wanna be oppressed so bad, and the entire country believed it. Answer me optimus. How would we ever escape that?

Whats the guarantee sentinel couldnt do the same? His whole scheme is that he's extremely extremely charming. He can talk his way through things. He's a seasoned politician and also the devil. You think he cant cover up his ass and make it so YOURE the traitor even after the livestream

I see why it's a kids movie. It's cuz kids don't get just how dark the government can get.

Sentinel was right! He's in power so he decides what's the truth and what's not. It's a huge problem in science too. The study's results depend on which company sent the funding!! It's everywhere. The influence of money and power controls everything!!! "Science" was not left unmolested by the rich!! You think something as small as daily life can escape? You don't even know that they already have you.

Wake up Orion!! Wake up!!! Wake up!!! Wake up!!!

Open your eyes!!! You don't understand how deep the rot really runs. Sentinel literally admitted all of this to megatron when he was captured. Thats why only he knows how to exorcise your nation. The roots are infected. You have to pull out the entire tree. You can't just spare parts and hope the infection doesn't travel up FROM THE ROOTS

Babygirl... 💀 its ok I forgive orion because he's cute.

I took my bro to watch it with me (same race as me) and he's never seen transformers before and he was so mad.

Me too tbh.

And we're opposite sides of the political spectrum.

Like damn big dawg how tf did you think your people got free of the quintessons? By asking nicely? Orionnnnnnnnnnnnn *throws a rock*

That being said i swear I'm not being ungrateful to this country. It gives me so much more than anywhere else. Best country ever tbh.

And I can have all the privileges. I'm ambiguous enough that I just have to lie about my race a little bit and then I get everything. It's not bad. It's broken but also easy to scam. Thats what the smartest of our kind do.

Im just using it as an example.

so in conclusion i liked the movie. it made me feel. it is art that inspires emotion

[dokpetra]

Having a pretty hard time deciding if I want to start doing live shows. The problem is that I do and I don't, both of which genuinely and strongly.

I am a good performer with a lot of experience. But performing, feeling eyes on me and my body, takes it the hell out of me. I am a house person by and large.

But gigs are how you get your name out there and meet people, and the main way a lot of music artists make money. So to write it off feels like a missed opportunity.

Still, just because I can do something doesn't mean I have to.

But if I'm going to do it I don't want to wait much longer. I have enough material to fill a 30, even 60 minute set.

I think the move is to prepare setlists and backing tracks and start rehearsing the performing aspect. See how that feels.

And like with other things I spin my wheels on.... I can just try one gig, or a few gigs, and if it's not for me I don't have to do more.

In person attention feels overwhelming but I'm better at attracting that than online, it seems.

An alternate or additional path i'd like to try is performing music online, like, on livestreams. I'd have to invest in some additional equipment and clear a space in which to do so but that idea excites me. I haven't seen it done very often and I think I could bring some fresh energy to that medium.

Yeh! For the very moment, focused on bringing Song-A-Day Volume 2 to the finish line. Have taken more breaks this round, and been more selective with what I include. As an album I can def see my growth compared to volume 1 which is cool cause I made volume 1 just a couple-few months ago.

It's easy for me to get discouraged sometimes when I don't see the results I want on the timeline I hope for but I'm doing this thing regardless... The people will come around. Just a matter of time & continuing to improve my craft & put myself out there.

[each-uisge]

hzbn htl is out now, and....it's really bad???

like, way worse than I ever would have assumed it would be. the pilot was so much better, and that was super rough so I'd expected the show to have to be better.

i mean, hllv bss is really good imho??? fun colors, nice animation, consistent animation, a new story per episode while also providing an overarching plotline and emotional payoffs that feel deserved.

but hzbn is just...wow. the secondhand embarrassment watching that was so bad damn. i wouldn't release that.

plus hearing about how somehow they got picked up for DISTRIBUTION and not funding and are funding it themselves, like...yea i can see why no studio wanted to fund it if that's what was being pitched.

first of all, why does chrlie have zero respect from any of the other demons in hell???? it makes zero sense that she shouldn't have overlords like vlntno defer respect to her. it's shown in hllv bss that people move the fuck out of the way for stls, who's royalty, who has status far above the overlords.

even if no one likes her, she should basically be able to ask for anything she wants and people will give it to her. there could definitely be schemes behind her back, but it throws worldbuilding out the door to have people able to tell her no.

secondly, why is the official release of the show contingent entirely on the viewer already having seen the pilot episode and additionally contingent on the viewer knowing things from livestreams and twitter? the pilot is not episode one. the pilot has to do everything season one would, to show people who have money the bare bones summary of what the show will be in order to secure funding, and then episode one will redo the intro better and more streamlined and with less info dumping. hllv bss does this PERFECTLY.

also, why why whyyyyyy are a billion characters introduced at once and then given big musical solos right after we met them? it's like editing les miserables to introduce fantine in the first two minutes and then have i dreamed a dream be the third song in the musical. you can't do that. it doesn't feel earned. it's supposed to be a show that anyone can pick up and enjoy, not a series of character-centric amv's made entirely for people know everything about these characters from art livestreams and twitter.

and...hsk.....his design was bad in the pilot and it's still bad in the show. i would have expected an overhaul. i would have expected someone who agreed to pick up the show and to force v to change it. it's horrible. fluffy, overpatterned stuffed animal straight out of 2006 deviantart does not fit the character at all and i cannot take him seriously. god forbid they put him and dust together 💀

and dust!!!!!! a character with a great engaging story and arc!!!! but it was laid on so thick and so quickly is was just sort of...meh. poisn was fun but it laid it on so thick it felt more like an erotic montage than a song about self destruction.

which brings me to another point: most of the major character arcs echo hllv bss. dust echoes fizz, but his character arc was split between two episodes with previous flashbacks in others, and was way better handled and had a bigger emotional reward. i love fizz. i love his musical numbers, i love his character arc, and dust could have had something similar but i guess not.

and why is everyone always just...sitting around in the hotel? the pacing is so bad. it feels like someone animated a fanfic where nothing really happens and for some reason every single character is there all the time.

i mean, the good part is the music was great, the songs were fun and well performed, the lighting and color changes particularly in loser were fantastic. i LOVED styd gne. but damn. i wouldn't release that. i wouldn't put that on amazon prime. i'd put hllv bss but NOT hzbn as it is now.

[sameglasses]

i'm sure many people talked about it before, but i actively hate how the ts crew deals with ads, merch, or even basic communication and i need to rant about it too a little (the rest's under the cut, i didn't think i'd be that long but here we are lol)

there's another youtuber that i admire a lot more for this. half his channel is "regular" videos on pokémon strategy, and the other half are livestreams, let's plays, best-of etc (his name is Fildrong btw, if you're speaking a little bit of french and you like pokémon go check out his content, he's super funny) this dude knows how to run a channel, and it shows; he always keeps in touch with his fanbase, letting them know what comes next for videos, let's plays, merch, bigger projects, etc. he reaches out to artists whenever he needs to and pays them decently by the way, he lets the fans know when he's going to have some rest, etc etc. you know, basic stuff

and you wanna know the best part? he's doing this alone. he makes collabs with friends or artists, obviously, and he has an editor for his best-of only, but he runs most of his channel on his own

Thomas and his team don't get this; they're not a group of small creators anymore, they're running a whole business, and it hurts to see a business this big doing it worse than some dude doing more "modest" content on his own (depends on the videos tho, i don't think a roadtrip throughout Europe on a bike is what you could call "modest") (yes, Fildrong did that. twice. the absolute madman)

they're trying to capitalize on a series that's slowly dying because of the lack of communication, or even respect for its fans. i don't think Thomas himself is that invested into it anymore, but i'd much rather him telling us that than trying to make as much money as possible without making actual content. hell, if he even wants to cancel sanders sides altogether for any reason, i'm fine with it!! i'd be disappointed for sure, but at least he'd stop the massacre and do a Cartoon Therapy 2.0

you could claim that because Fildrong has a much smaller fanbase, it's easier for him to communicate with his fans, and to that i'll answer: Markiplier someone else made the same comparison (i can't remember the url, wave if you're here buddy), but Mark doesn't have this problem either; he also keeps in touch with his fans, to let them know about his next project, a little about what's going on in his life, sometimes, when he's going to take some vacations etc, because he knows what he's doing. and he's one of the most popular youtubers ever

what's their excuse to just even tweet "hey sorry for the delay, the next episode is going to take some time" or something like that?? while we would be thrilled to see new content, we'd appreciate even more honesty. the last video made me feel like being taken for an idiot that would willingly give their money away for some over-priced bullshit because look!! a totally new sanders sides video!!!! not a tasteless ad disguised as actual content at all!!!!!

(and yeah, i know the team isn't responsible for the price of the plushies. i'm still allowed to complain about it bc yeah i guess they're kinda cute, but i'm not spending so much money for this) (i don't even think they ship those in my country anyway)

[genshinconfessions]

I'd love to pull for Thoma, Zhongli, Kazuha, and Xiao when they rerun, and certain new "leaked" characters... too bad I don't have loads of money to drop into the game, and MiHiYo is so stingy with events and dailies/endgame content that it won't compensate for poor rng mechanics. It's endlessly frustrating and I wish I could get a refund for what I *did* already put in because in the end it got me ONE five-star, for $120. ONE. The only reason I stick around now is to get my money's worth in time and to sometimes play with a friend. I am so sick of everything being locked behind resin. "No more game for you unless you open your wallet, and lmao your chances of getting the artifacts or things you need to progress are abysmal even then." This game is predatory and it has made me hate MiHiYo.

huh. u realize ur criticizing the game after having ridiculous expectations right? do u even hear urself. "oh i want all of these 5 stars even though the game is totally honest about how many wishes it takes to get a guaranteed banner character and 5 stars are supposed to be rare but i want them to drop like hot cakes into my hands". if you could do math youd know that it costs $365 for a guaranteed banner character. it takes 180 pulls to get a banner character for sure if you're really unlucky and if you buy that much in primogems it would cost around $365. how do i know that you may ask?? oh because genshins very honest and open about how the wish mechanics work and how much everything costs and i have a brain?? like you spent your own money thats on you did you expect to get 5 five stars or something> the five stars are supposed to be rare with a base drop rate of 0.67% (once again genshin tells us these probabilities as they are open about it). nobody is supposed to have every single 5 star they want with little effort otherwise they wouldnt be rare and the game wouldnt be fun if you effortlessly get what you want? maybe youre jealous of whales who DO have everything they want but theyre also putting in a LOT of money so thats their choice, it isnt just being handed to them. also do you even play genshin?? did you see their livestream for the upcoming update?? i've been playing since this game launched and im sick of all you new players. genshin consistently has a LOT of events with a lot of primogems and theyre all different with so much variety and fun to play. i literally hadnt played in like 2 weeks because of school and played this week and gathered like 30 wishes in one week just from all the gifts they gave and the rewards from the new event. and just from like actually playing the game?? i dont play a crazy amount because i dont have time so its hard for me to farm primos, but if i wanted to they exist in excess throughout the game if youre playing at a normal rate and not speedrunning everything. if youre speedrunning this game just for primos and youre only looking to play so you can get every single character you want and you have no other interest in the content, then just quit. nobody wants to hear you whining, the rest of us are -playing this game as a de-stresser or because its beautiful and we appreciate the efforts of the developers. i want certain characters too so i understand the frustration. i wanted hu tao, eula, childe, and ayaka and of those i only got ayaka. and i dont even like ayaka as much as the others, i just needed a dps to go well with my mona. so i really dont have any 5 stars that i REALLy wanted in this game. however im happy playing and ive learned to enjoy every character... like a normal person?? im playing this game for fun and i understand how probability works so itd be stupid to rage quit just because i didnt get all of the five stars i really wanted.

long story short, life is full of worse hardships than not getting every single five star you want in genshin. youre not gonna get everything you want in life and you definitely wont when theres a 0.67 probability of getting it and its SUPPOSED to be rare. if you wanna complain about how unfair a gacha game is then go cry to someone who cares idk.

- keith

.

lol sorry about your spending habits but mihoyo ain’t forcing you to spend jack. look, i want huxiaobedo too but guess what? i’m not pulling for hu tao during her rerun. why? well, i’m f2p and know how to prioritize my primos. i’m guaranteed for albedo and with all the amazing events with many amazing rewards, i’ll be guaranteed for xiao before he reruns as well, and they’re the only two i super want as of now. also, i know for sure that i won’t be able to give both hu tao AND xiao good weapons, so i’d rather just save for hu tao’s second rerun later lmfao.

i do apologize if you have a genuine problem with gambling addiction, but instead of complaining about it to us (when we’ve always made it very clear that we support mihoyo), i suggest getting real help.

- katheryne from liyue

[zukadiary]

Slowly Waking Up From a Takarazuka-less Stupor, Part 1: Romeo & Juliette

Is there even any point in saying it's been a terrible year? Not only has live Takarazuka been out of the question, but very poor mental health, work-mandated increased screen time, and laaaate EST starts have made it very difficult to partake in livestreams. Like... I missed Tokyo Anastasia and Daimon's mura raku. That bad.

Things have slightly improved on the start time front with a move to the West Coast. I managed both Romeo & Juliette streams so far.

This is................ for me, a very bittersweet production. I'd fully planned to see this live before everything went down. I was looking forward to the hypothetical shinko perhaps more than the real thing. Neither of those panned out... and the casting choices in what we got left me with a number of questions.

But! I don't want to forget how to write. And life without my one and only hobby is stupid. So, let's get back into it.

A quick overall,

Coto can only meet my expectations because they are so high. Wonderful, fantastic, I hope someday she gets to be funny.

Maisora? VERY cute, and A+ costumes in a sea of HMM.

On that note, in addition to the inexplicable LL Bean-inspired vibe, there were some puzzling choices, like B-cast Benvolio (Ayaki) and Mercutio (Amahana) looking so similar I can't imagine how they could be distinguishable to new fans (something I presume a company floundering financially in COVID would very much like to have more of).

I wish I could see the ensemble better. RetJ shows its small theater roots; it's not a great troupe show when you are limited to the camera angles.

That said, BACKGROUND ALL-STARS: Sazanami Reira always and forever, I wish she was DEATH; Asamizu Ryou for noticeably characterizing her Montague (Bloom, apparently!) as a lovable airhead?? despite, you know, everything about her; Minato Rihi for her whole VIBE; Yuunagi Ryou for her B-cast performance cradling her dying best friend, which I swear I'm not only saying because I'm dating her biggest fan; Amaki Homare for not doing anything in particular but at least giving herself hair I could find easily; Amato Kanon and Houma Toa for always doing the MOST back there; and Taiki Hayate for the expressions and the cartwheels.

A VERSUS B!

Tybalt:

If I'd cast this I think I would have just made Aichan the every day Tybalt, because that makes the most sense. Neither was a home run for me (though I'll say I have very high expectations for Tybalt, because the face Teru pulled within 2 seconds of walking onstage in 2010 in the first show I ever watched all the way through is literally the reason I'm a Takarazuka fan). I AGREE with pushing Seo out of her comfort zone, but I think Tybalt was the wrong push (I'd have rather seen Mercutio). Aichan's death had a horniness I wish her Tybalt had more of, but that I think would have eventually come out maybe with less switching.

Benvolio:

I REALLY liked Seo's Benvolio, and I'm only one off the full mark out of respect for Aka-chan, who, to be fair, I think also did a heck of a job. I loved the way Seo styled herself, and she gave me stronger best bro vibes. I just! would have liked! to see Seo Mercutio I think!

Mercutio:

:))))))) y'all I love Shin. The last time I saw Hoshigumi live was the Man from Algiers/Estrellas 2.0 tour, where (having never watched Algiers before) I was SHOCKED by the closing scene and Shin's delivery of it. Despite 2020 feeling 1000 years long, that show feels like four seconds ago... but we're coming up on two years, and Shin has only continued to climb in that time. This is the performance that made me feel like I got my money's worth out of a cast to which I otherwise would have made several changes. Her energy was impeccable, her look was appropriately crazy, her death scene was heartbreaking, and she did it all with the aura of someone who's only like 2/5ths done growing. I can't WAIT to see the rest.

I truly feel so much affection for Ema, but she was not giving me what I needed in this role; it was low energy, and not even by comparison, because her stream was first. I think she would have done Benvolio a lot of justice, or (hear me out!): Love. IMO her vibe is soft in a way where it should be highlighted as her strength rather than challenged out of her.

Paris:

It's not just Shin love (although she was cute AF); I think this was just "well Aka-chan has to go somewhere" casting, because she's too big and earnest as a person for Paris. He needs that foppish, twinky, completely unfounded huge ego vibe.

Death:

I have mixed feelings about this. Because like... Aichan's Death was A LOT, but also kind of a weird choice?? Death is historically for ken 5-9 future stars experimenting with emoting; of course a ken14 nibante who's been through Senka is gonna kill it... I just think she's a resource that should have been permanently relegated to something higher stakes.

My rating is based more on how OVERMUCH Aichan's performance was, than on a dislike of Ema's. I definitely preferred her Death to her Mercutio. She was giving me a WEIRD ENERGY, but whatever the energy was, there was a lot of it, and it was different.

Love:

To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't have cast EITHER of these people as Love. Hoshigumi just IMO has better dancers and/or bigger upcoming stars, and I'd have loved a Love/Death relationship and chemistry that made sense.

Overall, I definitely preferred A cast! Looking forward to seeing them one more time.

[millerjpower]

#TwitchDoBetter, Fanhouse, & Diversifying Income

Preamble: I fully respect everyone's reactions & choices in response to the lack of safety on twitch. Nothing written here is a value judgement or suggestion of the "best" action, just explaining my actions.

TL;DR - if you want to support me off of twitch you can do to millerjpower.com/support.

August has been a lot for me as a small, marginalised activist & content creator on twitch. Twitch creators have been calling on the company more than ever to make their platform more accessible and safer. This is nothing new, but has escalated as RekItRaven started #TwitchDoBetter & harassment has increased on the platform in recent months, affecting medium sized Black creators the worst. Many are "hate raided" (ie. bombarded with racist, ableist, or transphobic copy paste messages from up to 100s of bot accounts in a matter of minutes) several times every stream, disrupting their work & potentially alienating audiences who were enjoying a usually chill & safe space.

As a small creator though it is a little different. I have been hate raided once - they humorously told me I'd never be a woman - but it was manageable & was barely a disruption. I'm not the main target for trolls as such a small streamer. However the whole atmosphere of the community during these events has be difficult, and it is hard not to second guess you're reaction to it. This is especially true as an autistic & a disabled person, seeing so many people changing platform, making more content in new places on top of what they already do; it's hard to not think "shit am I being judged for not following everyone to this platform" or "am I a fool for not stretching myself across more paying platforms". I am lucky to be reassured by friends, colleagues, and role models that everyone is entitled to do what's best for them, and I have incredible respect for people changing platform or joining more platforms. However, it is hard to not panic in the face of disordered or unwanted change as an autistic.

Thus, I wanted to share with the world what I'm doing in reaction to #TwitchDoBetter & why, to help me feel more confident in my choices and hopefully legitimise others who feel similarly to me.

I'm staying on Twitch (for the foreseeable).

As a small creator a really a lot on:

free and easy access

connections & overlap with other channels

discoverability

These are all things I reliably have on Twitch. It is quite scary though, as if my friends & connections all move to different platforms (to YouTube, Altair, or Fanhouse exclusively) I'll be forced to make a move to the most popular of those unless I've managed to grow significantly on my own. And while I have nothing against moving itself, the choice of where & potentially splitting my audience are all very stressful. I love that twitch is a hub for steamed content, it gives me that discoverability. It also gives me the ability to have my content be free & easily accessible. You can search "transgender" & "disabled" and see me pretty quickly, only having to sit through a quick ad. No-one needs to subscribe to support and enjoy my content, and the more people who enjoy it for free means more people coming in who can afford to throw some cash my way.

Twitch, on the face of it though, is a horrible way to make money. Although it's been amazing at bringing viewers to my channel and providing fun incentives for them, I only receive 50% of the money people give to me and that's after exchanging it from US dollars. Even then, I only get paid on a monthly basis if I have made $100; if one month I only reach $98 I don't get paid. Beyond hate raids then, another big reason streamers are moving or spreading over more platforms is to make a more acceptable rate. New popular platform Fanhouse offers creators 90% of money they bring in, Patreon between 95-90%, drawing many streamers to take it up as a second income to twitch.

As a small, disabled content creator I am reluctant to follow the trend, and equally feeling pressured to. Spreading myself across two platforms means spreading myself more thin. I work for myself because my disability makes it difficult to hold down a regular job full time; I'm already pushing myself to capacity to make a living. There is the option to move over my content to one of these platforms but I have reservations. As I said above, as a small creator I want my content to be free and easy to find. Although you can put content up for free on Patreon and Fanhouse, people assume that it's probably paid content when you share it on Twitter & the like, and neither of them are platforms you can just browse to look for new content. So it's creating more work for myself that isn't easily sharable and discoverable, not a good move for me.

What am I doing in response then?

Although I am not spreading myself to other platforms or leaving Twitch, that doesn't mean I'm ignoring the problem. My reaction is twofold: campaigning for change, and implementing safety tools. It is unfair that any marginalised people need to use up their labour and energy doing either of these things, but it is currently the best way to survive for me at least.

If you would like to campaign for change with me...

Follow RekItRaven

Tweet at Twitch telling them you want a safer platform

Take part in protests such as A Day Off Twitch and shouting in Twitch livestreams for change

BUT do not be rude to anyone who isn't doing all of these things, especially small and/or marginalised content creators. We're all doing our best

If you would like to up your safety tools...

Create a shutdown button for hate raids

Run commander root

Ban users on community ban lists

Increase your mod team if you can, and give them clear rules and protocols to follow

If you would like tips on how to do all of these things check out my guide to safety tools for small streamers, or look at hateraidresponse.carrd.co.

Thanks for reading my thoughts! If you would like to support me and keep my content free you can tip or subscribe at millerjpower.com/support!

[ablednt]

And like because we're worthless to them we get put in the emotional support category. Our "job" in society is to tend to abled and nt people's emotional needs in return for basic necessities. This really tracks when you take a closer look at it too.

If we aren't being inspiring, if we aren't trying to mimic abled and nt people enough that they pity us and feel better than us lowkey then we're subconsciously demoted to pet status to them. Disabled people who have to rely on others are treated like pets both socially and legally (with shit like conservatorships) and all my life this was blatant for me because i was just compared to animals enough that i related more to dogs than humans.

So because we only exist under capitalism to fulfill abled nt people's emotional needs, we have to remain entertaining and wholesome. If we aren't absolutely friend shaped, if we get angry, if we advocate for ourselves, if we demand human respect, if we are too gloomy, if god forbid we have something SCARY like psychosis or the fucking AUDACITY of having any actual opinions that's when shit gets ugly.

I grew up hearing a lot, "if you weren't so cute I'd kill you" as a phrase of fucking endearment. I wanted to write a novel before I was 18 cause then if I published it I could make lots of money for my family and be worth something, I wanted so badly to be anything other than an abused disabled child playing marriage counselor to their parents.

When writing wasn't working I desperately tried everything else and even to this day the only job I know for a fact I'd be good at is something like livestreaming to entertain people. The only thing I can create to generate capital is entertainment, it's emotional support, it's a manufactured comfort that secure's my value in society.

And everything I can think of reflects this too like the ableist history of circuses with disabled bodies, autism moms making their childs lives revolve around them for clout and monetizing it the same way people do to their pets, any undesirable traits or experiences (systemhood, autistic joy, psychosis, dyslexia, and anything "cringy", as well as physical disabilities that are "ugly") are all made into a mockery because to abled nt people that restores their value.

If we don't set aside all our needs and humanity to appease abled nt people they're going to get their entertainment at our expense.

And that's why we all have to be so funny at the expense of validating our negative emotions or processing anything.

Okay I think I cracked the code a little bit

So we've all noticed that ND people have to be funny as a survival mechanism to be tolerated and we've also are all aware of inspiration fetishisizism that disabled people as a whole face and we probably all were on the same page that they're connected but I think I know why

Under capitalism disabled people simply cannot produce more resources of supposed value than we use up. This, to abled and neurotypical people, makes us objectively worthless. Blatant ableists will advocate for eugenics but most people's ableism isn't as obvious most normal people will try to find something of value and... all they can find is entertainment.

[frogsandfries]

It's very tempting to say

When I get home, I'm going to finish writing this pattern before I contemplate sleeping, and then get as far as possible before all I want is to die.

I'm either going to eat whatever everyone else is eating, or I'll reheat that pizza. Maybe I'll reheat the pizza anyway, since I can use the toaster oven at home, and pack some leftovers for myself, if there's anything.

It's gonna take like twelve years to get home, but at least my perception of time is straightened back out. Ugh..... but I'm exhausted and it's going to feel like forever anyway.

Maybe now that it's basically winter, it's time to.......hmmmm, I don't want to damage my nice headphones, but maybe some earbuds. I could at least listen to podcasts or something. I've already got so many expensive plans: Load up on flesh tone embroidery thread, get a heated vest that I could potentially wear at work; I have to pay that bill at the college. I could put the money aside for that while I try to set aside van money. I think if I have a couple envelopes to put the money into and I actually use them, it'll be more clear how I'm doing to reach each goal.

In other news, I think I've tipped into "obsessed with my own material" territory. Or maybe, now that I'm actually making a concerted effort to move forward on the project, I want to reach as many people as I can with all the different ways I actually want to work on this project. I mean, I'm already making the lineworks, I can reach coloring page enthusiasts and ATC/ACEO enthusiasts with that. I'm already writing, and I love podcasts. I love long narratives--the only thing that would've made the Bright Sessions better would have been if the episodes were longer, and it had gone many, many more seasons. Wolf359 would be better if the episodes were longer. I could release it in half hour or so chunks.

Then for cross-stitch, I need to write the patterns anyway; I'd make a pittance selling my original stitcheries. But even if I sell like, twenty patterns for a dollar or a hundred patterns for five bucks, or whatever, I still probably make better money per book sold than embroidery sold. That's another thing that wasn't being done for anyone but myself, but if you share it, you reach another audience that you wouldn't have. You can reach zine people and people who collect cross-stitch books and patterns.

Then we get to the final bit, a book containing just the final stitcheries. Look at all those different audiences besides just this audience, that I could reach by offering the whole creative process, rather than just the end goal. Oh, not to mention other kind of bonus content that I had in mind--livestreaming stitching or pattern making.

Imagine if I did decide to release my writing as a podcast. Imagine if I released some frames or some of my tarot cards as enamel pins.

Last night, high out of my mind, it occurred to me that the color palette of the Fool was, ironically, a cool color palette. And it occurred to me that I should probably counter that by making the, I think the magician is next? I know it's Anton's card, the color palette should be warm.

But if I go that way, I think I'll run out of color palettes before I get through my tarot cards.....