#I'd choose G/A without regret

[hikarielizabethbloom]

This is what J.D. Payne said about Sauron in the first season:

"There’s something in him that is sort of vaguely reminiscent of Gollum, when you watch it again, where you see these two forces driving within him. In some ways, Gollum is to Sauron as Sauron is to Morgoth, a little bit. The One Ring is operative on his consciousness at all times. And even maybe if he tried to turn away from it and be Mairon, the Maia, who, in the beginning, was good, there's this shadow that has operated upon his soul that he is enslaved to, that you always see, every decision he makes, takes him, in one way, towards the good, but it also takes him towards power. And power is his addiction. Watching back, with that in mind, it's fun to pick apart everything he says, or if he does retreat from the decision he makes."

It's possible Sauron thought to do "good" for a time, but power is his addiction, his way to further corruption. I don't care about Charlotte Brandström's words about his 'love' for Galadriel because the way it was framed on screen? Was not 'love', especially not romantic love. It will always end up looking twisted and extremely dark, and I'm not sure we should casually call this 'love'. I agree with Charlie Vickers when he insists on not using that word, because he doesn't wish to 'romanticize' the merciless, obsessive, abusive and cruel feelings that Sauron, a fallen angel with a god complex, can have for someone.

I don't mind that people find haladriel interesting, but after season 2? I cannot see Galadriel willingly go to him, not even for the affection she had for Halbrand. Sauron may want to possess her, but she will not yield to him, she will not be a willing participant in this.

This is interesting.

In real life I wouldn't call this love. Absolutely.

In fiction I do because it make things more interesting. It raises the stakes. If you take away Sauron's capacity for love then somehow he is less accountable for his actions. Because if he can't love then he does not really understand the damage he is inflicting upon others.

But I NEED HIM TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR HIS ACTIONS.

If he does love and still acts the way he did/does, then it is worse. Because he knows what it means to love, to care, and he doesn't care at all. Hell, he punishes the people he loves and loves/ed him in return. He did to with Adar, Celebrimbor and Galadriel. He will do it to Numenor. He destroys the things he loves because his love his selfish. He takes something pure and twists it untill it's not even love anymore. It's obsession. It's revenge. But once upon a time the love was there.

But no, I don't see Galadriel as in love with what Sauron is now. Same goes for Sauron. He loves Galadriel's light as long as he can use it for his bidding. They're both hunted by ghost of the other but they will never yield.

I don't see their relationship as a 'love conquers all' type, more like a 'love was not enough' one.

I don't know if I'm can explain myself clearly when it comes to them. Because it's complicated. Because I want it to be complicated. Because I love their twisted love story but, in canon, I want Galadriel as far from him as she can get.

In fanfiction, that is a different story...

Edit: I want to add that by acknowledging his ability to love I want in no way excuse Sauron's actions. Quite the opposite. Because he cares, he understands the difference between good and evil and he still chooses evil. That is canon.

He's not doing bad things for good reasons. The 'I want to heal ME' is just the company tagline. He is doing horrible things for horrible reasons.

[prettybluelites]

Thoughts: Fun and Games

Started this last night, accidentally deleted it, got annoyed and went to bed.

Take two.

Yes Stede, the head butt was absolutely on purpose, but not because it was you, rather because a fearsome pirate woke up from a traumatic-on-every-level experience with someone hovering over him, six inches from his face. Ed would have head butted anyone on sheer instinct.

Fascinated by Buttons choosing to check in with Ed about his gravy basket experience, and you can tell Buttons sorta understands that Ed did have a vision, even if Ed doesn't say as much. Also, Buttons has been there a few times himself? Can you get there only through massive physical injury or can you like take a vision quest?

All well and good that the unicorn can't hear without a head, but probably a bigger selling point for Izzy is that it can't talk back

The crew's at a deadlock? Really? They sounded pretty firmly in favor of banishment. Did Stede just want to make sure Izzy got to have a say?

How many takes did they have to do with the sandwich, and was "sammie" scripted or improvised? I need to know.

On a serious note, how Stede's heart must have hurt to see Ed look at him like that

How fucked up and re-traumatizing for Ed to have his lil bunny friend snatched out from under his nose mere seconds after telling it that it would always be safe with him

Did I mention how the costumes keep getting better and better? Minnie Driver looks absolutely spectacular

In Stede's place I would have been scared to death to accept Anne and Mary's dinner invitation, solely on the basis of their predatory grins, but I guess love is stronger than all that

Also stronger than Ed pelting him with backhanded comments all evening

Love the incongruity of Roach talking about reminding the other crew of their value and safety while brandishing a cleaver

Whatever either Stede or Ed was expecting from the evening, it sure wasn't this

"Actually, I was planning on killing him myself" - subtext: still might if sufficiently provoked

Stede's expression when Ed says he regretted shaving his beard - so like his expression when Ed finds him on the beach in Ep9

Taika is so good in this whole scene. The tiny, tiny change in his expression when Stede says he likes his new beard, it's like he's processing that this is happening and willing himself to remain objective. And then Stede asks about the gravy basket and it snaps him back to reality and causes him to turn abrupt/short when he says he's fine. Good stuff.

Not gonna lie, I kinda hate the scene with the pinata and the cake. I get the point, but it feels clunky to me. I do appreciate everyone struggling with the concept of a safe space, lol, and I would love to know what exactly the "fucked up sleeping arrangements" are.

Another costuming note: Lucius is wearing the hell out of those high-waisted trousers.

I personally would not have described Stede as an "artsy outsider," but from Mary's POV I kinda get it, "artsy" sounds a bit derisive, like artsy-fartsy, and outsider sounds like...well, not a pirate. If that's Ed's type, I'd love to know about past outsiders he's been involved with. Likewise, I'm fascinated by Ed calling Stede "fragile" - he's clearly not meaning it as weak, but as fine/delicate. He says it so fondly. :)

Offering relationship advice by saying that everything will be rosy for a while and then eventually, inevitably, it's all going to go to hell and you're going to be left attempting murder to "keep things fresh" is, ah, kind of upsetting. Anne's tactic is upsetting too but at least "let's make them jealous" isn't explicitly violent.

It's really important to me that Roach (along with Fang) is one of the first to try to help Izzy up, same as he was the first to approach Buttons when Karl got killed. He really is tender as hell. :)

In my previous post, I mentioned how Ed still doesn't know that Mary wasn't the whole reason Stede didn't come to the dock - and I want to know, what's going to set off Stede's PTSD? We've seen the crew grappling with theirs and Ed is a walking ball of it. Stede's kinda been skating over everyone else's damage and he hasn't really even touched his own. He says he panicked, and admits he went back to his wife, but the part where he was abducted at gunpoint and nearly murdered is a pretty key part of the narrative. Taking a wild guess that's going to come up when we meet Prince Ricky again. And it's going to lead us into the Season Finale which SHIT I do not want to think about yet.

Others have probably already connected these dots but I'm obsessed with the fact that the blanket that Ed is hiding under so strikingly resembles the Battle Jacket. It should be renamed the Ed Teach is Lovable Jacket.

I just love me some everything about this scene. I love Stede's confidence in making himself heard and I love how throughout their talk Ed comes out from under the blanket, then sits up, then turns toward Stede by degrees, and finally gives that tiny, tiny, sad smile. And the dialogue is beautiful and heartfelt and Rhys and Taika just take it to a wonderful place.

My blood runs cold on Ed and Stede's behalf when Anne and Mary bust in on them, honest to god.

Oh, Izzy. *sniffle*

Ed and Stede both so adorkable negotiating where Ed's going to spend the night

I was honestly not crazy about the whole avian transmogrification thing at first, but the more I've thought about it, the more I like it. Buttons is completely confident in his ability to pull it off and in his reason for doing it - which is, of course, love. His pointing out to Ed that love requires change/growth is just a sweet touch. Was Buttons a "good" first mate? Who knows? Was he a decent human and apparently a legit vessel of magic? I think yes.

Also, if you're going to write a character out of your story, changing them into a bird is a bang-up way to do it. No klutzy off-screen death for Buttons.

Also also, I think it's worth remembering that Zheng uses carrier birds. I predict avian espionage in the future. And no, gulls were not used as carrier birds, but we all know Djenks has been hand-wavy about bigger things.

Izzy...is himself again. Also, loving the casual acknowledgement that there's been at least one other person on the Revenge this whole time who could read :P

My week is going to be insane so I might do Episode 5 tonight and get it out of the way. Thanks for reading!

[in-restless-walks]

Thanks for tagging me @parsley-sage-rosemary-n-thyme 😃

1) Paul or Art who do you like more?

Difficult question to start off with, I see. I like them both but I also don’t like them sometimes. They’re such complicated individuals and sometimes I’m like…what the actual fuck, but sometimes I love them. And that goes for both of them. If I really have to choose one which I favourite more, I guess I’d go with Artie. 

2) Paul or Art with which one can you identify more?

Not sure I ‘identify’ with either one of them. But I lean more towards Artie.

3) Why?

Art is a lefty. I am a lefty. I share my birthday with Art. 🥺 Art was shy on stage and an introvert, and I am also not good with speaking in public. I’m introverted as well. 

4) Do you ship them?

Well, duh. I saw the back rub during The Boxer at the Central Park concert and haven’t looked back since. 

5) What would be your role in Alice in Wonderland?

I have no clue. I’m not really familiar with Alice in Wonderland. 

6) Singing or playing guitar?

Both. A long, long, LONG time ago, I recorded my playing and singing of some of their songs and put those videos on Youtube. 😆 This brought me a very, very treasured friendship but the person has since passed away. ☹️

7) What’s your favourite album?

I think I’m going to have to go with Bridge Over Troubled Water. 

8) What song of them is the first one that comes in your head right now?

The Only Living Boy in New York.

9) What is (currently) your favourite song of them?

I think The Boxer and The Only Living Boy might be my favorite songs, period, but I am very, very weak for the harmonies in Wednesday Morning 3 A.M. right now.

10) Hiking with Art or baseball with Paul?

Hiking with Art. I'd have enough time on a hike with him to ask him to explain all the poems and everything in his book. 😏

11) Causing that they argue and forever split up or never meet them?

Never meet them. It isn’t going to happen anyway, so I’d rather Paul and Art start talking again. 

12) Touching (and messing) Art’s hair or hugging Paul?

Hugging Paul. That boy really needs a hug. 

13) Getting Art’s beautiful voice or getting Paul’s talent to write songs?

Art’s voice. I’m not entirely displeased about my voice as it is, but it could always be better…

14) Get marriage to Art/Paul or let Art and Paul marry?

Let them marry. By the way, do y’all know that Art was once interviewed in Germany and he was asked why he wouldn’t marry Paul if Paul had been a woman. (I am not making this up). He answered that that was one of the oddest questions that he has ever received, but he’d try and answer anyway. In a good marriage there’s always a flower and a gardener to water the flowers. Paul and he are both flowers, so that’s why they didn’t marry. 

By the way, Carrie used that same analogy for her marriage to Paul. And she got it from Mike Nichols. 🙃

15) Who is hotter Paul or Art? 

No one beats 1966-1967 Artie. Though Paul definitely had his moments. 

16) Which one would you marry? Paul or Art

Neither. I don’t think it’s all that fun to be married to a celebrity and be under constant scrutiny. 

17) Art as math teacher or Paul as English teacher? 

Maybe if I had had Art as a math teacher, I’d have actually enjoyed maths. 

18) How did you get into the S&G fandom?

Okay this is going to get long. Sometime in the early 2000s, my dad gave me the ‘Definitive S&G’ cd and I listened to one (1) song and just couldn’t get into it and them for some reason. I WAS OFFERED TICKETS TO ONE OF THE CONCERTS OF THEIR OLD FRIENDS TOUR IN 2004 AND I REFUSED (which I will regret for all eternity). 

Then in 2008, Art tours Europe and he’s coming to my city and I’m like, okay, why not go check him out after all, I guess it can’t hurt, he’s a big name in the music business I guess blabla. So I go to this concert without many expectations, and Artie charmed me, not going to lie. I was very impressed by his rendition of The Sound of Silence, April Come She Will and Bridge that evening. Next day I listened to that cd my dad gave me, suddenly LOVED it, went out and bought all their albums on the same day. Then I watched the concert in CP soon after and then there really was no way back. They’re touring in Japan in 2009 and a tour in the US for 2010 was on the way and I was SO READY to go but…Art lost his voice and we all know what happened next.  

I was active in the fandom from 2008 to 2011-ish, then because of circumstances it lay dormant a bit but it came back full force during covid in 2020. Then it died down a bit again but now I’m fully in the fandom again since December last year (and all because I rewatched the concert in Central Park…haha, that concert really does it for me…it’s my favourite concert of all time that I never went to 🥲)

19) What was your first song you heard for them?

I’m sure I must have heard The Sound of Silence before, but not consciously. Then I guess the first song of that cd which is Wednesday Morning 3 A.M. but it didn’t leave much of an impression, unfortunately. I guess then whichever S&G song Art sung on his 2008 tour?

20) Where and why did you heard your first song of them?

See above: Sound of Silence probably but I can’t remember how/when/where. 

21) What do you love most about the fandom?

How we are all like “PLEASE JUST GET ALONG” about them. 🥺

22)What’s your fave solo album? (One from Artie and one from Paul)

Paul: Paul Simon

Art: Breakaway

23) What’s your fave of their solo songs? (One from Artie and one from Paul)

Paul: Mother and Child Reunion is such a bop

Art: Break Away

24) Did you ever read a fanfic of them?

Ummm….seeing as I write fanfic of them, yes…yes I did. LMAO. 

25) If yes, which and did you like it?

Back in my early S&G fandom days we had a nice shippy Livejournal community where fic got posted (and I first ventured into S&G fanfic writing). Now I read and write on AO3 exclusively. 

26) Did you like this Q&A?

(Tag at least three people)

Most of you already got tagged by other people, so please do fill it out if you haven’t been!

Simon and Garfunkel Q&A

Finally a tag game for all Simon and Garfunkel fans.

Rules: Honest answers, answer everything and have fun

Paul or Art who do you like more?

Paul or Art with which one can you identify more?

Why?

Do you ship them?

What would be your role in Alice in Wonderland?

Singing or playing guitar?

What’s your favourite album?

What song of them is the firth one that comes in your head right now?

What is (currently) your favourite song of them?

Hiking with Art or baseball with Paul?

Causing that they argue and forever split up or never meet them?

Touching (and messing) Art’s hair or hugging Paul?

Getting Art’s beautiful voice or getting Paul’s talent to write songs?

Get marriage to Art/Paul or let Art and Paul marry?

Who is hotter Paul or Art?

Which one would you marry? Paul or Art

Art as math teacher or Paul as English teacher?

How did you get into the S&G fandom?

What was your firth song you heard for them?

Where and why did you heard your firths song of them?

What do you love most about the fandom?

What’s you fave solo album? (One from Artie and one from Paul)

What’s your fave of their solo songs? (One from Artie and one from Paul)

Did you ever read a fanfic of them?

If yes, which and did you liked it?

Did you like this Q&A?

(Tag at least three people)

[lsholland]

London Lights (pt. 1) - Tom Holland

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader (1st person)

Genre: Party!Tom

Warnings: swearing; alcohol; nothing much but I don’t recommend -18 to read.

Word count: 1.9k

Author’s note: Hey guys! That’s my first story on this blog. I hope you’ll like it. I’m not native so there may be a few mistakes. I’m trying a new genre of fiction. It’s my first Tom Holland fiction. It’ll be a series of 2-3 chapters. If you want to be part of the master list for Tom please like this post and message me. 

Synopsis: Quarantine has been tough. I’ve lost my boyfriend, and I’m feeling lonely. Clubs and restaurants are open again, but I feel like it’ll never be like it used to. My friends have been pushing me to install Tinder and go on dates. Well, tonight, I’m going on a date. I don’t really want to but I’m going to try and have fun for once. Just a few drinks and I’ll go home. What else could happen?

PS. You can read the story on Wattpad.

What am I doing here? I think to myself.

I matched with this guy on this famous dating app . . . And now I'm supposed to meet him here, at this bar. But I don't want to. I'm just hoping he won't show up so I can escape from this shit-place.

I've been seated at the table for a good 5 minutes. The waitress cleans up the table next to mine and asks if I'm ready to order.

No, I want to leave.

I quickly glance at the drinks menu.

"Ehm . . . A pour over Irish coffee, please."

She nods and leaves. I don't even know what I just ordered. I hope it tastes good. Hopefully it'll make me drunk enough not to remember this awful date.

It hasn't even started yet.

I'm sweating.

"Hey there" says a husky voice right behind me.

I turn around and see my date. His name is Jordan. He's good-looking and I bet he's intelligent, but I don't have this feeling with him. I don't know why I accepted to go on a date in the first place. It's awkward.

"Hey!" I grin.

"Have you ordered something already?" he asks, touching his short, clean beard. "I'm thirsty!"

He looks nice.

*

The waitress hands me my third drink. They help the clock tick a little faster.

He's been talking about his job, his passions. He loves football and practises daily. He has 2 sisters and lives in Camberwell.

Cute.

For a moment, I feel sad for him. He drove all the way to this East London bar, put effort trying to look nice and being cool . . . and yet, he doesn't know it but he has no chance to get lucky tonight. Not with me.

I shouldn't be sorry.

But I am.

I glance around looking for something that might be a little more entertaining than him. I realise I've avoided eye contact since he arrived. I finally glimpse at him. He has beautiful hazel eyes.

Still not enough.

I quickly check my phone. It's getting late. I don't know how to end this.

"Look," I slightly bend over the table. "I'm so sorry but I don't feel like it tonight"

"I noticed." He smirked. "Kinda awkward, innit?"

I chuckle. I am so embarrassed.

"It's okay, though." He added. "I'm just trying to meet new people. I broke up with my ex-girlfriend a few weeks ago. My mates told me I should try these apps."

Okay, now I feel worse than ever. He's been so nice with me and that's how I treat him. I grab my drink and gulp it down.

I shouldn't have done this.

"Let's go dance. I owe you one." I say as I grab his hand and walk towards the dancing area. It becomes difficult to keep my head straight.

I'm drunk, I must admit.

I'm going to regret it, my sober-self shouts in my head.

I don't care is what I reply.

The dancing area is not crowded, but there are already a few people. Most of them are girls.

Girls . . . I wish my friends were not so busy all the time. I would've come to this bar with them instead of wasting my time with strangers.

I start dancing. I stare at him. He looks amused.

A group of guys join the dancefloor and all the girls on my right start screaming. It's so high pitched I cringe.

"What the fuck guys?" I shout, trying to focus on the music.

"Woah, that's Spider-Man!" says my date. He grabs my chin and makes me look in his direction.

No way, I think. It's actually him.

I know he lives in the area, but I've never met him before. It's always weird to see movie stars in real life. They look so much more attractive.

He is so much more attractive.

I try not to be a drunk fangirl and shyly wave to him. He doesn't notice.

"You wanna go and take a picture with him?" my date asks.

"Oh, no, no!" I answer. I'm blushing. "I don't even know what I'd tell him."

He laughs.

The worst thing that could happen is to annoy him during a night out. He needs privacy and I must respect it.

But it's so difficult.

I can't stop staring at him. I don't even control it. Being drunk doesn't help.

"D'you want a beer?" I ask my date whose name I completely forgot.

He nods.

I weave my way through the crowd. I can't believe there are so many people on the dancefloor. The area is so busy since the Spider-Man actor walked in.

Even the bar area is crowded.

I let my body rest against a barstool but quickly lose balance and almost fall on the dirty floor. The flickering lights are making me feel dizzy. I grip the counter and get up. I peer around to make sure nobody saw me.

He did.

I dust off my dress trying to save the dignity I have left.

"Want something?" someone asks behind me. I turn around, it's the barman.

"Two pints of Guinness, please."

I glance back at the same spot, but he's gone. It must've been a dream. I'm so drunk I can't trust everything I think I see.

I'm grabbing both my drinks and look around trying to find my date, but there are too many people. I take a sip of my beer and hold the other one above my head.

Someone hits my arm.

Oh no.

"Oh my God I'm so sorry!" yells the drunk blond girl.

I look at my dress. It's soaking wet. I politely smile at her. "It's okay," I mouth.

What a mess. I glance at the lavatory door. I need to go and save my dress.

"You haven't been lucky here."

I turn around to find out who's talking to me.

It's him. Tom Holland. Talking to me.

"What?" is all I manage to say.

"Do you need a hand?" he politely asks.

I blush so much it's noticeable in the dark.

I'm choking. I'm panicking.

I give him my two beers and walk towards the lavatory. I'm surely starstruck. And drunk. This isn't a good mix.

Once in the room, I grab a handful of tissues and try to soak up my dress. I groan. Did I expect to make that beer mark disappear? Yes. Did it work? Of course not.

I watch my face in the mirror.

I look like shit, I think.

A door slams shut. Two young girls just walked in.

"OH, MY G—THAT'S TOM HOLLAND!" shouts one. They are both panting.

I roll my eyes.

Oh . . . I've given him my beers. What about my date?

"Shit!" I hiss.

I violently open the door and frown my eyebrows as the lights blind me.

He's just here gazing at me. Two beers in his hands. One of them is half empty, the rest being displayed on my dress.

"I'm so sorry!" I say embarrassed as ever.

He smirks. "No worries." He hands me the full glass of beer.

I give him a questioning look as I grab it. What about the other one? Oh, right—He's drinking it.

"What's your na—"

I stop him.

"I know who you are." I peer down. "I'm sorry I didn't wanna disturb you" I say as I'm walking away.

This time I'm smart enough to avoid the crowd on my way out.

"That's rude to leave without saying goodbye!" Tom shouts from a distance.

I turn around and stare at him. He's got a soft smile; he doesn't look drunk at all. I wave him goodbye.

Now, he's approaching me.

"I meant to your boyfriend" he nods in the direction of my date who was dancing with a group of other people.

"He's not my—" is all I can say before he chuckles.

"I figured."

"How?" I clench my jaw. I'm hypnotised by his hand running through his hair. And his smile. And his lips.

"I can barely hear you," he points at a booth in the corner of the room "maybe we could sit there" he suggests.

My mouth softens into a smile.

It's difficult to walk with Tom Holland. Every couple of seconds he's stopped by fans requesting a picture. And he accepts every time.

I'd never be so patient.

"What's that?" he asks.

"It must be so annoying sometimes." I tell him as I sit on the booth.

"When they're nice and ask me, it's cool." He chooses to sit next to me. I can feel his arm touching mine. My heart is racing. He uses his other arm to hold his chin; he looks at me with so much intensity. Sometimes peering down my lips.

His face is so close, but he keeps talking. I can feel his breath on my skin. I'm going to burst into flames. "But when they're taking pictures without asking first, that's delicate."

I nod. I can't really listen to what he's talking about. I'm trying not to lose control.

"So, what's your name?"

He smiles when I tell him. "Why did you leave your date alone?" he asks.

I'm so nervous I stutter. I can't find my words. "I . . . I wasn't in the mood. He knows it. I shouldn't have come here."

"I'm happy you came." He says looking me in the eyes.

I raise my eyebrows. "Are you flirting with me?"

He barks out a laugh and breaks the eye contact. He rests his head on the wall behind us.

He isn't as confident as I thought he'd be. I don't know what's up with him, but I enjoy it.

I suddenly remember he's a movie star. He's always being watched. I glance at the crowd and see flashing lights. They're taking pictures of us.

I'm getting dizzier.

I don't want to see my face on a dumb article talking about Tom Holland's mysterious partner. I don't even know him.

"This is stupid" I mumble.

Tom is intrigued. He hasn't got a clue what I'm talking about. He hasn't even noticed the fans stalking him.

"I'm sorry, I gotta go" I abruptly say as I stand up. "Have a good night."

I grab my phone and leave the venue. I'm upset because I really wish I could've met him in a different context. I open my Uber app: there's no driver available.

Shit.

How's that even possible on a Friday night? In London?

I refresh the app, but it doesn't work. I guess I'll have to walk home.

A part of me wants to go back in this bar and spend time with Tom. He's sweet and I'm sure we would've had so much fun together. I glance through the window trying to see his face one last time, but I can't find him.

"What are you looking for?"

I cringe.

"Oh, sorry I didn't mean to startle you."

It's him. It's Tom.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Going home too. The fun of the party is leaving . . ." he sighs. I smile back at him. I'm embarrassed.

I stand in front of him, none of us say a word. It's awkward. I'm getting anxious and walk away. I'm so overwhelmed.

He grabs my shoulder. "Wait, are you walking home?"

"Yeah, it's okay don't worry." I smile.

"I can drive you home."

"Sorry, but you've been drinking. I won't let you drive me." I curtly say.

He grins. He looks at one of his mates and nods.

"No way I'm letting you walk home alone," he sighs "besides, you're drunk."

"Come with me then" I instantly reply without thinking.

He nods.

What?

He's coming with me. My heart is racing. I won't survive a 30-minute drunk walk with him.

Not with his beautiful glossy eyes staring at me.

Not with my burning desire to kiss him.

[haechanplsacceptmylove]

The One That Got Away

Characters: Sungchan x y/n (female)

Genre: angst

Warnings: pregnancy, death, blood

Words: 1.2k

Song: the one that got away - Katy Perry (listen to the sadder version)

Requested ✅

A/n: SORRY OK IM IN THE MOOD FOR VERY ANGST STUFF, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

You sipped your coffee, eyes smiling brightly at the man in front of you, your love of your life, your boyfriend Sungchan, who was also smiling brightly back at you. You just finished planning your trip for your 6th anniversary. You couldn't be any happier. If you could describe your life right now; perfect. A man you love, who loves you back just as much, a job, a house and most importantly your unborn child. You got to know about your pregnancy two weeks ago and it took you all of your energy to keep it a secret, until your 6th anniversary to make it more perfect and to surprise him with what he's been dreaming of for the past years. You've been planning how to tell him for the past two weeks, and you couldn't wait any longer to tell him. Thank god you only have to wait two days now, then everything will be more perfect. You didn't really plan anything big... Just thought of surprising him with a small box in a chill cuddly night, which has yellow small baby shoes in them.

You chuckle looking at the extra cute small shoes in front of you, remembering your promise you made when you got your matching tattoos, you promised to have your love for each other as permanent as your tattoos and to be there for each other, in good and bad. You had so much to tell him. You wanted to cuddle with him in your warm villa house and to talk about the past 6 years you've spent together. You were very excited. After packing your luggage you sent your boyfriend a goodnight message and went to sleep.

For the next 2 days you were only thinking about him. You couldn't really meet him because he had to do extra work so he could spend the whole week with you in the vacation.  All you could do is text and call each other. I mean what's the problem with it if you'll be spending the next whole week in each other's arms? You were patient, for you, him and your baby.

Finally D-day! You had planned to meet your boyfriend first in a restaurant and then go together by the car to your villa house. It was a Chilly night, sky very clear, where you could see the bright stars. The road filled with cars and people, such a normal night, but still beautiful.

You waited for him outside the restaurant, checking the time every now and then. After 15 minutes of waiting, you finally saw your love of your life. Oh how much you missed his warm lovable embrace. Oh how much you wanted to kiss his tasty, sweet soft lips. Oh how much the night became more beautiful just when you saw him. You smiled and waved at him. He was wearing a black coat with such a nice suit under it, his hands holding a beautiful combination of red and white flowers. You gave each other a bright lovable smile. He was waiting for the lights to turn green for him to walk to you. And once they turned green, he walked towards you, a little too fast. He was excited, you chuckles. Your eyes shining with excitement and love. You were just very in love with each other. You found your world, life, future and home in each other's eyes.

He was getting closer and closer, oh how much your heart was beating. With every step he was taking, you heart was beating faster and faster. As if it was only beating for him, and it was. Your heart, and the smaller heart inside you, both were beating for this amazing man.

He was close, finally you'll have him in your arms, finally. Just when you heard people screaming. But you were so hooked up with his eyes and presence, you didn't care about others. As if all your senses only focused on Sungchan and only him.

In a blink of an eye, you saw your man on the ground after getting hit by a car. Everything went so fast that all you saw next is Sungchan on the ground, the flowers next to him, which were once white, turning red. A bloody kind of red. Your world stopped, you ran to him. You held his body. Not believing your eyes.

"S-Sungchan-"

You could barely talk

"Ba-baby"

He tried to talk

Your eyes were blurry with the amount of tears it held. Your shaky hands holding his face, close to yours. His eyes still, looked so lovable, warm and clear.

"M-My Ang-el"

He moved his hand to hold your cheek, wiping your tears

"My love"

You cried

"I-I really was-s excited t-to see y-your beautiful f-face"

His tears falling, mixing with the blood

"i m-missed you, Sungchan"

"I missed y-you to-o, y/n"

He smiled, his beautiful smile

"please, p-please stay with me, i-ill call the a-ambulance hold up"

Your shaky hands left his face and held your phone, trying to dial 911

"y/n, baby"

Sungchan held your hands, bringing them to him, leaving the dispatcher confused on the other line, not receiving any answers from the caller.

"Sungchan let me c-call them"

He shook his head

"Y/n baby... I n-never ever regretted b-being with y-you, I'm h-happy i m-met you"

You started sobbing, holding his face

He continued

"i-if i was to be born again i-I'd choose you, again and a-again, you are m-my life y/n"

"Sungchan s-stop talking! Y-you're tiring yourself more, s-stay still the the ambulance c-comes" you screamed at the people surrounding you, for them to call the ambulance.

Sungchan held your face, turning it down to look at him

"I-i w-wanted to-o a-ask you to b-be mine t-today" you only cried harder, your hands clenching around his face, not willing to let him go anytime sooner

"Su-sungchan, please s-stay, for me and for o-our b-baby"

He looked shocked, now he's crying harder, the blood that he's bleeding is now getting slower and slower, its ending soon.

"Y/n t-thank y-you for b-being there for m-me an—d for m-making me h-happy even in m-my last m-moment" his tear dropped

"do-n't s-say that! Y-you're staying a-alive Sungchan! I-i still h-have many things to s-say to y-you! R-remember o-our promise? Y-you can't l-leave me now... P-please"

"you'll b-be an am-amazing mother y/n" he whispered

"baby, i-in another life, w-would you be my g-girl too?" he asked, his eyes hopeful.

"Sungchan y-yes, I'll forever b-be yours and y-you'll forever b-be mine"

"I l-love you, Y/n... S-sorry—" his last tear fell, his eyes closed, breath stopped, hands fell from your cheeks, his body stilled.

"I-i l-love you t—oo"

You looked at your world's lifeless body on the ground. Looking around him, taking in this moment, trying to figure out if it's real or not. You looked at the now soaked in blood flowers, next to them a little box, your shaky hands reached out to it and opened it. It revealed a beautiful ring, with words "be my wife" on the upper side of the box.

You lost yourself. Looking at your lifeless man. You held his body close to yours, screaming and crying. How are you supposed to continue living without your oxygen? Without the reason for your heart to beat for? Without him? You hugged him, hearing the sirens of the ambulance.

"in another life, I'll be yours and you'll stay with me" you kissed his forehead before the medical technicians pulled you away from him. You saw them giving him cpr, but with no use, he's now covered by white material and taken away from you.

[dandylion240]

All of the story asks please :) (Character specific ones I'd say up to you, but would love to have them be Jonah/Cecil or my usual favorites ;) )

what’s the last screenshot you’ve taken for your story?

2. describe your story in three words or less

Family, Angst, Drama

3. describe (insert character here) in three words or less

Jonah - unassuming, brave sensitive

Cecil - insightful, supportive, caring

Evan - self-sacrificing, helpful, innocent

Jayden - protective, stubborn, active

4. how did you choose the name of your story?

I try to use titles that is kind of thematic of the story I'm writing. It takes me forever to come up with a name and sometimes the name changes multiple times before it gets posted.

5. how do you choose your characters’ names?

It depends upon the story. For my Reagan family stories (TS4) I use the parents names. It's kind of a family tradition. For instance Jonah/Ethan. All boys will start with E and the girls will start with J. In my TS3 stories I sometimes choose a theme for names and use that. Like next gen of NSQL the theme is nature.

6. how long have you been working on your story for?

Well it depends on the story. With my Reagans I started writing for them in the summer of 2019. For my TS3 legacies I started in 2014 I think.

7. whats the biggest risk you’ve taken with your story? did it pay off?

I think my biggest risk is my current story Into the Depths of Darkness. I wasn't sure I could pull it off and the story has changed from what I thought it would be and the hero of the story has changed from first conception. I'm happy that Jonah is the hero of his own story and it's given him so much character growth and he's becoming more of what I always invisioned him being. I owe a lot to @mahvaladara to how the story has progressed and the ideas she has contributed. It wouldn't be what it is without her.

8. what about your story are you proud of?

There are many things I'm proud. Mostly that I continue writing even though sometimes it feels like I'm ripping my heart out to write some of things I write about and also that I don't quit even when it's hard.

9. what about your story are you looking to improve on?

There's always things that can be improved. Writing is a process that the more you do it the more you learn and get better. I could say pictures but I'll admit the storytelling will always come first over pretty pics and sometimes I just can't find the right pose to fit. Maybe one day I'll be able to make my own poses but I'm not there yet.

10. is your story fully planned or are you still working things out? is there a definitive end?

It's a work in progress. I start writing from an outline of how I think the story should go but it's loose enough for me to rearrange things or remove/add things to it as the story evolves.

11. why have you decided to tell this story? are there any messages or meanings within it?

I just like to write. If there's any message in my stories it's that family is important and no matter awful things you might face in life if you have people who love and care for you that you can endure it. But mostly that you can rise above your circumstances and still be a healthy, functioning person despite everything even if you have a mental or health problems, you can still be happy, loved.

12. do you actually play the game or do you just use it as a storytelling medium?

It's mostly a storytelling medium for me. I do play it sometimes but tbh though TS4 lacks so much depth and gameplay I find it boring after a while. I've gotten into playing TS3 again now that I have a better computer that it doesn't lag as much.

13. from basic planning to a finished post, how long does that take you?

I don't honestly know. I've never stopped to consider how long it takes.

14. do you have any regrets about your story so far? if you could go back in time, how would you fix these?

No I don't think I have any real regrets. Sure I go back and think I could have written that better or edited that picture more but for the most part I'm happy with my stories.

15. what have been the highlights of creating your story?

The highlights have always been the people who become involved in my characters lives.

16. what about the process do you enjoy?

Seeing my stories come to life. How my characters change as the story progresses.

17. what about the process do you hate?

When I struggle to write a scene and it doesn't flow the way it should. It's generally because I'm coming at it wrong. Once I figure that out than it flows. Sometimes the seeming lack of interest in what I write from the readers is hard to overcome and I feel like quitting. But the few who comment I thank because that always revs up my motivation to continue.

18. choose a song that reminds you of your story

Just one song....that's really difficult say. There are so many songs out that fit my current story. This song fits Into the Depths of Darkness because where there's a lot of darkness there's still hope to be found.

19. choose a song that reminds you of (insert character here)

Ok I'll do this for Jonah - Fight Song

20. choose your favourite shot from your story so far

21. choose your least favourite shot so far

22. choose a favourite character from your story so far

Jonah is my baby. It may not show it by I love him.

23. choose your least favourite character so far

Hmm this is difficult because there were characters I created purely to be hated. Currently my least favorite is Ethan but it's not because I don't love him but it's because of his roll in the story.

24. are there any characters who remind you of yourself?

Not really. There are certain aspects of me in all my characters or people I know in them but none are an incert of myself.

25. what inspirations have you drawn on for your story?

There are so many. I draw inspiration from people around me. From movies and TV shows I watch. The books I read. Sometimes from the people I interact with on here mainly @izayoichan @mahvaladara @jenpants and @legendofsim They've let me bounce ideas off of them and their input helps me in my stories.

26. have other sim stories inspired you?

Yes they have. See above. All their stories have inspired me.

27. what genres would you describe your story as?

Modern fantasy drama??? I have no idea if that's a thing but it best describes what I write.

28. if you could reproduce your story in another medium (movie, novel, comic, etc.) what would you choose and why?

Hmm I'd say novel or maybe series. A movie would be cool too.

29. what would your story’s rating be? (G, PG, M etc.)

Hmm interesting I'd like to say its somewhere between PG-13 and mature just because of some of the topics.

30. if you were leaving simblr and had to choose another creator to continue the story for you, who would you ask?

I think either @izayoichan or @mahvaladara for my TS4 stories since they've helped me write some of them and they would keep true to the characters as they love them as much as I do.

For my TS3 stories I would say @legendofsim since for a long time our stories had been intertwined.

31. drop some random trivia about your story

Ethan was supposed to die trying to save Jonah

Caiden was supposed to have played the part of the hero instead of Jonah

Cory was going to heal Jonah's broken heart over the of Ethan.

But as they say the story changed...

32. give a light spoiler

Someone will be heartbroken at the end of the story.

33. recommend another creator’s story!

There are so many: @izayoichan @mahvaladara @nikatyler @justkeeponsimming @amuhav @legendofsim @simlit @lilyshadowwriter @wannabecatwriter

Please don't be upset if you weren't listed on here. I love everyone I follow but these are my favorites. I have others but some aren't active anymore and stuck with the ones I'm always waiting for the next installment, even if I'm behind on a few of them.

Thank you for asking!

[hardhuilen]

11 questions tag

Got tagged by @zoueriemandzijnopmars, thank you!

Rules: Answer the 11 questions you’ve been asked, nominate 11 other bloggers, ask your nominees 11 questions, let them know you’ve nominated them!

1) What is your favourite letter (like a, b, c, etc.)?

Oooh this is such an interesting question and I've actually thought about it quite a lot over the years, but I'm really not sure. Mostly because the letters that appeal to me visually don't necessarily have the most pleasant sound. The one thing I know for sure is that it's a consonant.

I think if I take both visual and auditory characteristics into account, I should go with G. Specifically the Dutch soft G (it’s such a huge part of my identity lololol).

2) Is there a musical you desperately want to see? So yes, which one?

Not really, I'm not especially into musicals. I would like to see one in person someday, but not a specific one or anything.

3) What is your favourite dish? (Feel free to share the recipe)

Ooooooh I always love pasta and (homemade) pizza. I guess lately my favourite is tuna pasta.

It's super easy and quick to make: for 2 people, you just need a can of tuna, an onion, a can of tomato paste, some crème fraiche and obviously pasta. The kind of pasta doesn't really matter, I usually make it with spaghetti or fusilli.

First you slice the onion, make the pieces as big or as small as you like them. Then you take a small saucepan and you pour in a little olive oil – I always get tuna canned in olive oil and use the oil from that. You put in the onion pieces and let them fry for a bit. When you think they look fine, you add the tuna and the tomato paste and mix it all together. Then you add the crème fraiche and mix again. It should look a pinkish orange now. When it's all mixed properly it's basically done, just make sure it's hot enough. You also have to boil the pasta, of course. I usually have it boiling while I’m making the sauce, because it’s just that quick. Enjoy!!!

4) Is there a subject from primary or secondary school of which you are sad that you haven’t persued it further?

The benefit of switching majors for me is that I don't have this problem so much. I pursued art first, and I still love it, but I'm sure now that it isn't how I want to make money.

Languages weren't actually my favourite subjects in secondary school (neither was art actually lol), especially Dutch. I really disliked it as a school subject, which is why I didn't even consider it for a single second when first choosing majors. When I quit art school though, it was long ago enough for me to just think 'hey, I do have a real interest in language' and just check out the majors Dutch and English – and choose Dutch in the end.

My favourite subject in secondary school was actually math, and though pursuing that was never an option to me (I'm way too alpha), I did regret that I'd never like make math assignments again. But now that I'm doing linguistics, I kind of am making math assignments again. Especially semantics is just basically math without numbers and I love it so much. I passed that course with a freaking 9.6.

So yeah, in that sense, I got the best of ALL worlds. It's a shame that it cost me so much, but oh well. I'm certain that I'm on the right path now.

5) Do/Did you have a comforting item/stuffed pet? What does/did it look like?

When I was born I got this small stuffed rabbit named Snuffie. Back then, he was light blue, but for as long as I can remember he's been grey, hahaha. I still have him. I always had him with me as a kid, and I lost him countless times, but my parents ALWAYS did everything they could to find him again – and fortunately always did.

6) What is your favourite Disney movie?

Tangled!!!!!! I should watch it again, I haven't seen it in a while.

7) Which other planet would you like to visit?

I mean, I know our moon is a moon and not a planet, but I would love to go there. I just think the view of Earth from there would be amazing (and also terrifying). But if I have to pick an actual planet, I'm going to be very boring and go with Mars.

8) What is your favourite children’s tv series?

I loooove Avatar: The Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra. I wasn't actually that into ATLA as a kid (and TLOK of course didn't exist until I was an adult), but when I sat down one time and actually watched the entire series in the correct order, I loved it.

When I was still a child, my favourite was probably Pingu.

9) How many and what languages do you speak? Do you want to learn others?

I speak two: Dutch and English. And a little bit of German and an even littler bit of French.

I wish my German was better, but I don't really know how to improve it. And I want to learn NGT (Dutch sign language) and maybe Danish. My order of preference would be NGT > German > Danish. I think I might actually try it after uni.

10) What is your favourite book?

I never really know the answer to this question and usually just go with Harry Potter, because I keep coming back to it. Another book I keep coming back to is Amy & Roger's Epic Detour, and it's a pretty cliché YA romance but damn I love it so much.

I'm currently reading Sara Burgerhart for uni, an early modern Dutch classic. It’s not that easy to read because of the outdated language, but I like it. (I'm also currently reading at least five other books and have been for like four years, but I'm just not going to talk about that.)

11) What is your opinion on mathematics? ;)

As I already mentioned, I love it! But it's better without numbers.

I’m going to be a huge buzzkill right now, but I don’t currently have the inspiration to think of 11 questions, and I wouldn’t really know who to tag anyway. I can think of four people max. So I’m skipping that part, sorry!