#I'VE BEEN CRYING LAUGHING OVER THIS FOR THE PAST 5 MINUTES

[urclna]

who the fuck discovered this before me

[apomaro-mellow]

Hot for Teacher(s) 5

Part 4 / AO3 Link

"It's not even about what they say, I mean it is, it's more about how they say it", Eddie said over the phone. He was in the process of making himself dinner while Steve was on the line.

"Like what?", Steve asked, in the middle of making Shawn's lunch for the next day.

"Like, today Alex said 'barbecue is my favorite' and Brian was like 'your mom!' Like what? What does that even mean, Steve? I ask you, what does that mean?"

Steve laughed on the other end. "Well you know how memes work, right?"

"I'm offended you would ask that."

"I just mean it sounds like that. They're passing around a joke until it mutates and now just saying the phrase, regardless of context, is a joke."

"You're brilliant, you know that?"

"So I've been told~"

"Hey, you're making Shawn's lunch now, right? You know what would be funny?"

"Your sense of humor frightens me", Steve said.

"You tell me everything inside, and then I tell Shawn and act like I'm guessing. It'll blow his mind."

"You're ridiculous", Steve said with a shake of his head. But he ended up telling Eddie anyway.

When he went to bed that night, he dreamt of the day Shawn was born again. But this time it was less sights and smells and more sounds as an alpha rumbled close to his ear.

"You're doing great, beautiful."

"Bet your pup's gonna be the cutest..."

He woke up, feeling slightly disoriented as he remembered that he wasn't a new parent, that Shawn wasn't an infant, and that Billy wasn't sleeping beside him. He released a relieved sigh at that last part and got ready for the day.

Both he and Eddie got really busy as winter break began to near and Eddie wondered if it would be too forward to ask Steve out during the break. For all he knew, Steve might have plans to travel during it. But then again, that sounded like all the reason to ask him out before he went too long without seeing him again.

They talked just about every other night though. And try as they might, the conversation always veered to their students and the goings on of their work lives at school.

"Should you be telling me all of this? As a parent?", Steve asked one night. He was curled up on the couch, tv low in the background.

"As a parent, no", Eddie admitted. "But if you were my boyfriend.... then you'd have access to all the hot elementary gossip."

"....Did you just try and seduce me with student gossip?"

"Don't you wanna know which girl in my class has a crush on Shawn?", Eddie tempted.

Steve let out a long drawn out sigh. "You know I do. But I also think that we should have more dates under our belt before we start calling ourselves boyfriends."

"What have all these calls been?"

"Just talks?"

"Stevie, I call you more than anyone. I think in the past few weeks I've called you more than the rest of my phone contacts all year."

"...Are you busy tomorrow?"

"Nope."

Steve chewed his lip a little before going on. "Come over for dinner. Just you and me, I'll send Shawn over to Robin's."

------------------

Shawn was more than happy to go over to Robin's for the night. She let him put whatever he want on his pizza and let him watch pg-13 movies sometimes. Steve was aware of this, but always warned Robin that she couldn't come crying to him when he got an upset stomach or had nightmares.

Eddie came over just a few minutes after he saw Shawn off and together they put the finishing touches on the dinner Steve had started.

"So this is going to sound weird...", Steve began as they sat down to eat. "But, have we met before?"

Eddie swallowed his mouthful before grinning. "What a line. I'm already in your house, baby. You don't need to use cheesy pick up lines on me."

"I'm serious", Steve said with a roll of his eyes. "Do you think it might be possible?"

"I think I'd remember running into someone like you. Why do you ask?"

Steve picked at his food. "Sometimes you smell familiar. Like, I know I've said you smell safe, but it's like I've smelled it somewhere before."

Eddie swallowed. "...What did your ex smell like?", he ventured.

"Nothing like you", Steve replied quickly. "Even when he wasn't upset I...I just started associating his scent with bad things."

"Well, maybe you just had a very formative experience in a candle shop. They're getting really expressive with fragrances nowadays. Remember that one from a while back? The mountain lodge scent craze?"

"God, how could I forget?", Steve laughed as the conversation changed to candle scents, perfumes, and colognes, and how some brands seemed to be going a bit far trying to imitate certain smells.

After dinner, Eddie offered to help with the dishes so that Steve didn't have to worry about them later.

"You really didn't have to", he said as Eddie handed him a dish to dry.

"Can I be corny for a sec? I've kinda always imagined doing the dishes with someone special. Boring stuff like that."

Steve felt his heart stop and he grabbed Eddie's face to bring him in for a kiss. When they finished, Eddie started perusing the shelf in the living room and immediately found Shawn's baby book.

"Didn't realize you had such a soft spot for him", Steve teased.

"Oh I'm sure he was a cute baby. But I wanna see new parent Stevie", Eddie said, holding it up, asking permission.

Steve sat down on the couch, patting the space next to him. Eddie hopped on like an excited puppy and they started flipping through it. The first few pages showed the ultrasounds and Steve's growing belly.

"I think the weirdest craving I had was turkey sandwiches with crunchy peanut butter. But besides that, it was pretty normal."

"You can't say 'normal' after prefacing it with turkey and peanut butter sandwiches", Eddie said with a grimace.

Steve shrugged. "The only other thing I craved was broccoli for a whole month."

"That explains why Shawn shovels it down during lunch."

There were a couple of appearances by Billy, but Steve didn't talk about him much. It wasn't all bad of course. It rarely is. But when Billy got unpleasant it was really bad. Enough to sour most of the good memories they had made together. The only thing untainted by Billy was Shawn himself, innocent in it all.

Then they got to the day Shawn had been born and the first few were of his teeny wrinkled red face, swaddled up. But after turning the page, Eddie froze on the couch. In the center of the page was Steve lying on a hospital bed, Shawn in his arms. There was a person standing by the bed, arm under the newborn pup, helping Steve support him.

The photo cut off the person's upper body and head, but Eddie knew it was Billy standing there. Steve felt him stiffen up and looked at him confused.

"What's wrong?"

Eddie was gazing at him like he was seeing Steve for the first time. Steve's brow furrowed even more and he took a look at the picture again, wondering what it was. Sure his hair was a mess and his face was pretty red, sweaty, and swollen, but did he really look all that different?

Then he caught the arm helping to hold Shawn, caught the rings on the hand, most different but at least one that was undeniably the same. And if that wasn't enough, caught the tattoos that were visible on the arm.

The same arm that was wrapped around his shoulders right now.

------------------------

"Billy", Steve breathed into the phone, trying to pace himself. "Billy, my water broke. Please call me back. I'll be at Hawkins General Hospital."

Steve hung up and looked to his overnight bag sitting by the door. Even if Billy got his message, Steve wasn't very confident in him getting here on time to drive him to the hospital. And he was pretty sure most rideshares wouldn't want an omega in labor in their backseat. Steve was literally debating whether he should clean up the spill from his water breaking now or just leave it for later.

He wanted to make Billy clean it, the fucking asshole but he also didn't want an argument the moment they returned from the hospital. Mind made up, he leaned over with great difficulty to get the bag and then grabbed his keys.

Steve was never more grateful than now that he lived in a small town and was able to get to the hospital in less than 10 minutes. But it was a very long ten minutes in which he imagined every sort of car accident imaginable.

When he parked, he called Billy again and got his voicemail again. Billy had left the apartment about two hours ago, to do god knows what. He called again after checking in while he was still lucid. As his contractions got closer, he could feel that he was losing himself and his instincts were taking over.

An omega giving birth could be dangerous nowadays. In earlier times, when babies were born in the home, this wasn't much of a problem. An omega would be surrounded by family and familiar scents. But in the sterile, nearly scentless environment of a hospital, they had a tendency to lash out at the hands of strangers trying to help deliver the baby.

If the omega's partner was present, or someone else close to them, this made things go a lot more smoothly. But Steve had arrived completely alone. No one to speak for but himself and the pup inside of him. When asked if anyone was coming, he admitted to calling his alpha several times but not getting a reply.

The nurse stroked his sweaty forehead, giving him a pitying look.

"You poor thing. But you're going to have to start pushing soon. Your pup's about ready to meet the world."

Steve shook his head. "Can't. I can't. It's not time yet."

The doctor gave him an appraising look. "I'm afraid to say that it is, alpha or no. This is what happens when you get pupped up without a bite."

And that was a sore spot for Steve, who had asked for Billy's bite more than once. Even more when he found out he was pregnant. His eyes glassed over with tears from both the pain and the oncoming sensation that he had feared.

"Doctor, watch what you say. I think he's succumbing to rejection sickness", the nurse said, nose catching a hint of it through her mask.

What was worse than Steve snapping at the hands trying to assist would be him feeling too weak to even do anything.

The doctor cursed under her breath. "Nurse, go find a volunteer alpha. No need to make this more difficult than it needs to be."

The nurse scurried out, Steve couldn't tell how long she'd been gone but was deep in a flurry of sensations. Billy didn't want him, he never wanted him, not seriously. Not even to officially mate him. He didn't want this pup either. His baby was coming into the world unloved and it was Steve's fault for being such a failure and-

"Found someone", the nurse rushed in.

"'Someone'?", the doctor raised a brow at the man she brought in.

"He's not official but all the other volunteers are busy."

"This is highly unprofessional, you understand that?"

"I think losing a pup and possibly a patient would be even worse. Do you know what to do, sweetie?"

"Yeah", a third voice said.

Steve rubbed at his eyes, trying to get them to clear but the tears kept coming and the pain was never ending. He felt a hand grab his and wanted to snap but the rumble of an alpha's voice got him to pause. It wasn't Billy, didn't smell like him at all, yet somehow that was better.

"You're doing great, beautiful." The alpha held his hand on one and stroked his hair with the other.

"The pup...", Steve whimpered as the doctor and nurse got to work between his legs.

"Doc's gonna help you out. Bet your pup's gonna be the cutest in the ward. But I think you gotta help push him out."

Steve was panting as he started to push. He had to do this. He owed it to his pup to try. He had been so excited from the moment the test showed positive. He couldn't give up now. He thought about the ten toes and ten fingers and their ruddy face and their wisps of hair and he couldn't wait anymore to see them for himself.

All through it, the alpha gave him words of encouragement, projected a comforting scent, and kept both hands on him, grounding him to the moment. With a big final push, tiny cries filled the room and Steve collapsed onto the bed.

He felt like he dizzy, to say the least and while his pup was cleaned up, he was given a heavy dose of painkillers. Finally, his baby was given to him, all swaddled up and there was that itty-bitty pink face. Steve immediately started to cry again, but this time in joy.

"Gorgeous baby, just like their dame."

"Thank you", Steve breathed out. He put his nose to his pup's forehead. He smelled just a bit of Steve but besides that was scentless. His inner omega longed for the scent of himself and his alpha to cover their babe, marking them as their own and protecting them. Unknowingly, he let out a cooing call and the alpha beside him answered it, reaching out to rub his wrist against the blanket.

"What are you gonna call him?"

"Shawn...", Steve had decided long ago. He let out a very long yawn, which his pup then mirrored.

The alpha stayed with them for at least an hour, covering them both in his scent, turning away respectfully when the nurse came to help Steve nurse for the first time. Steve had still been too out of it to appreciate it but had been grateful later. The alpha had to go soon after, and truly it was perfect timing.

Billy finally arrived about five minutes later, looking relieved at first to see Steve and the baby were fine, but then his nostrils flared when he smelled an unfamiliar alpha on what he deemed to be his omega and his pup. Steve had been tired to fight, just kept his eyes open so that Billy could said his piece before handing Shawn over and closing his eyes.

--------------------

"....That alpha was you", Steve whispered.

"And that omega was you", Eddie replied.

Part 6

Tag Team

@anne-bennett-cosplayer @aol19 @lololol-1234 @hippieg1rl420 @gregre369 @attic-cat-blog

[hopefulromances]

can you do #5&6 where jamie is comforting his girlfriend?

5. “Why are you crying?”

6. “Talk to me.”

Is this self indulgent... yes... now continue

You didn't know when it started. You just felt so hopeless. It'd been months since you lost your job, leaving you unemployed. You had been so high. Doing so well. Happy, healthy, in love. Now you could barely leave your bed, much less force yourself to cook or work out.

It came to a head today when you finally decided to leave the house and ended up with a parking ticket. A parking ticket. You stared at the ticket in despair. This had to be a sign that you never needed to leave your house again.

"Goddamnit, god fucking damnnit," You cursed to yourself, feeling that thickness in your throat that always indicated you were about to lose it.

You crumpled up the ticket in your hand and slammed the door to your car, finally going inside the house. You headed straight to your room, not even noticing that Jamie was home.

"Hey babe what's goin- Woah!" Jamie didn't even have time to process what was going on when you ran straight past him and closed the door to your room. He could hear you sniffling on the other side of the door and it broke his heart.

He walked over to the door and leaned against the wall, knocking softly. "Babe? Why are you crying?"

"Go away, Jamie," you croaked from behind the door.

Well he wasn't gonna do that. He frowned leaning his forehead against the door. "I"m not going away until you let me in." You were quiet on the other side of the door. No noises except for the occasional sob. "And if you don't tell me what's wrong I'll just start singing and not stop."

That drew a little giggle out of you but you still didn't open the door.

"Alright, you've asked for it," Jamie took a big breath. "AND I! HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE! AND I NEVER FELT THIS WAY BEFORE! AND I SWEAR! IT'S THE TRUTH! AND I'M HOLDING ONTO YOOOU!"

You door flew open and you appeared, your eyes red from tears but at least the door was opened.

"Okay, okay, I'm here just..." You let out a large sigh and let Jamie into the room.

You sat on the floor, back resting on your bed frame. Jame came over to sit next to you, looking down at you.

"Hey," He nudged you. "Talk to me."

You frowned and shook your head, speaking quietly. "I just don't think I was meant to be unemployed."

Now it was Jamie's turn to frown. He knew you weren't doing well on that front, but no matter how many times he reassured you that it would be okay, you still ended up in your head about it.

"And I get it, a lot of people are unemployed right now, okay I do?" It was like you'd read his mind. "But I'm sick of it. I was doing so well! So well. And now what? I get up lay around then go to bed at night? I just... I need to have some purpose, Jamie. Something that gives me worth. And today," You held up the crumpled piece of paper. "I got a fucking parking ticket. First time I've left the house in like weeks and this happens."

Jamie let the two of you sit in silence for a minute. He let you cry, just sitting there next to you, letting you know he was there.

"Well give me this," he snatched the ticket out of your hand. "I can take care of this."

"Jamie, I don't need you to-"

"Well I want to. I love paying parking tickets. Do you know how many parking ticket's Colin's got?" He laughed. "A lot. And as for the rest of it. It sucks. A lot." He wrapped an arm around you and tugged you into his side. "But you don't need a job to give you worth. Keeley told me that once and it seemed true enough for me but for you it's definitely true." You chuckled, tearfully. Jamie squeezed your extra tight, wrapping another arm around your waist for extra squeezage. "You're worth a lot to me. Like waaay more than any job could give you."

You smiled, finally, giving in to Jamie's affection. You shoved your face into his chest, letting him hold on to you. He kissed your head, rubbing up and down your back with his hand.

"Thank you, Jamie," You mutter, nuzzling deeper into his chest.

Jamie's heart swelled, happy that he could provide you with some comfort. He leaned down and peppered kisses across your head. "Always, baby, always."

[candycandy00]

Roses in the Sky - An Original Alien x Reader Story Part 8

In a future where humanity huddles in decaying domed cities controlled by alien invaders, you and your best friend Anna work as make-shift nurses in a tiny clinic run by the young doctor Terrian. The city is ruled by the aliens' violent, half-breed offspring who serve as brutal overseers. You and Anna have always tried to avoid these overseers at all cost, but your life is changed when one of those same terrifying offspring is brought into the clinic, injured and unconscious.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

This is an original Alien (well half alien) x Fem Reader story! I hope everyone who enjoys my fanfiction will give this a shot! I’m posting the first chapter just to check for interest. Any feedback whatsoever would be loved! I’ve already written this story so it’s not going to delay my fanfics. Just thought I might post chapters of this between fanfics if anyone is interested.

Slow burn, as this is a novel-length story, but there will be smut in later chapters! Also: violence, blood, rape attempts, death of side characters, etc.

“Are you in love with Terrian?"

The words slipped out of your mouth carelessly, and you regretted asking the question the instant Anna looked up at you with a horrified, tear streaked face. The answer was right there, no words needed to convey it, and hearing it out loud only seemed to pain Anna more.

You sat down beside her. "You could've told me."

Anna stared toward the bottom of the stairs. "I didn't want to admit it. I don't think I even admitted it to myself until I saw him holding that half-breed's hand."

"Maybe they're not a couple," you offered. "Maybe he's just taking care of her. We don't know what their relationship is yet."

Anna put her face in her hands. "It's obvious! You saw the way he looked at her! She's beautiful and looks good in the outfits he likes and they've lived together for two years!"

You had no response to that. Terrian and Nariah had certainly looked like a happy couple. You sighed and threw an arm around Anna, feeling the other girl's body tremble as she cried.

Several minutes later, Anna stopped crying and dried her eyes. "Sorry," she said, still sniffling. "I know it's a stupid thing to cry over. But it just feels like half-breeds keep taking things away from me. They took my mom, and my brother, and my body. But for the past few years, I've been thinking, 'At least I have you and Terrian'. Now it's like you're turning to Vartan and Terrian has that... woman upstairs."

Your immediate reaction was to go on the defense, to loudly proclaim that you were not turning to Vartan, that there was no way Vartan would ever take you away from Anna, but stop stopped yourself before you could open your mouth. If you were honest with yourself, you would admit that you were being drawn more and more to the mysterious half-breed who slept on your couch.

"I'm sorry I made you feel that way," you finally said. "But I'll always be here for you, no matter what happens with Vartan. He can't replace you. No one can."

Anna's eyes were wet again, but she smiled. "I made the best decision of my life when I agreed to share that blanket with you on Second Street."

You laughed. "When I saw you, all I could think was, 'She's small, so there would be more blanket for me'."

"You were so devious back then!"

"Hey, it's how I survived,” you said with a shrug. 

Footsteps sounded from the stairs behind you, and you turned to watch Terrian approach with a worried expression. He looked at you and Anna, then lowered his head. "I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have kept Nariah from you. I just didn't want to worry you two. I promise I'll never keep secrets from you again, okay?"

You looked at Anna, who slowly nodded. You turned back to Terrian. "We forgive you."

Terrian exhaled, and you wondered if he'd been holding his breath since he came down stairs. He smiled weakly. "Thanks."

"But you don't seriously keep her up in that dusty room all day, do you?" you asked.

"No, no," he answered. "She has her own room down here but I moved her today because you girls were coming. I guess that plan didn't work though." He laughed nervously and looked at Anna, who wouldn't meet his eyes.

You gave him a look you hoped he would interpret as "Don't ask. Not now."

He must have gotten the message. He gave another weak smile and said, "You're free to leave for today. If you didn't get everything done, that's fine. Be sure to come back tomorrow, okay?"

He looked at Anna as he spoke the question, but she stood up without a word and walked down the stairs to the first floor. You heard one of the bedroom doors shut and figured Anna was changing out of the maid costume before heading home.

"She's still angry with me," Terrian said sadly.

"She'll get over it eventually," you assured him. "Just give her a little time."

"You're not angry with me, are you?"

You shrugged. "I have a half-breed at my place too. I can't really say much about it, can I?"

"Thanks," he told you again, and you nodded to him before heading down the stairs.

Anna was already gone when you finished changing, so you walked home alone. It was dusk, which meant the city was a gross color of orangey-maroon as you reached your apartment. You wondered if Vartan would still be sitting motionlessly on the couch, or if he'd even be there at all. You had no idea how long his exile from the tower would last, and he hadn't bothered to tell you. 

When you opened the door, you immediately scanned the room. You almost laughed when you realized that Vartan was indeed still sitting on your couch. You slipped off your shoes, dropped your duffel bag on the floor, and walked into the living room.

Upon closer inspection, you noticed that Vartan was asleep, slightly slumped over. You leaned down to look at him, thinking for the second time that he almost looked human while sleeping. He breathed the same as you did, his chest rising and falling slightly as his breaths made little wheezing sounds.

His eyes snapped open suddenly and you took a quick step back. "I'm home," you said, trying to start a conversation before he had time to question your closeness. "What did you do all day? Don't tell me you sat there staring at the wall."

He sat up straight and raised his arms above his head, stretching in a way that reminded you of a cat. He rubbed his eyes, one at a time, and looked at you. "I slept most of the day," he said. "I read your books as well."

You saw all five of your old trashy romance novels strewn across the couch beside him and blanched. They had belonged to your mother, and they were full of exactly the sort of scenes you really did not want a half-breed in your home thinking about. You gathered them up in your hands and said, "Where did you even find these?"

"They were on a shelf over there," he answered, pointing to a rickety book case that was completely empty.

You replaced them on the shelf and headed for the kitchen. "I guess you're hungry. I don't have much but I'll try to fix something."

A loud knock at the door startled you, and you looked swiftly to Vartan. "Hide!" you whispered, pointing to the darkened hall that led to your bedroom. He obeyed and slipped into the shadows as you walked over to the door. "Who is it?" you asked.

"My son is hurt," a male voice called back. "You're a nurse, right?"

You felt something stir in your heart. It had only been a day, but you realized at that moment that you truly missed being a nurse. "Well, sort of," you said through the door, "but all my supplies at are the doctor's house now. We had to close the clinic."

The voice on the other side hesitated for a moment, then said, "Can you at least look at him? He's bleeding."

You unlocked the door and began pulling it open. The door suddenly shoved against you hard enough to knock you down, and three men rushed into your apartment.

"Look for food and medicine first!" one of them shouted to the others, who split up and began digging through your refrigerator and drawers.

"Hey, stop it!" you yelled. "I told you I don't have any supplies here!"

The man in the kitchen was filling a plastic bag with fruit, butter, and everything else he could get his hands on. "You have plenty of food though!"

You ran over to him and tried to pull the bag from his hand. "Stop! Get out of here!" you screamed, jerking with all your strength until the bag split and the contents spilled out.

"Damn it!" the man said, shoving you away and stooping down to gather back up the food.

The man who had been giving orders made his way to the kitchen and grabbed you by the hair. "Shut up and back off, you little bitch, or I'll slit your throat!"

"Let me go!" you cried, trying to jerk free. The man released you, then immediately punched you in the stomach. You groaned and dropped to the floor, holding your sides. You looked up at the sneering man. "You're... making a big... mistake," you said.

The man laughed. "What are you gonna do? Report us to the half-breeds? Good luck with that!" He kicked you in the gut and laughed again while the other two continued grabbing your food.

You rolled over onto your stomach and tried to crawl to your feet, but one of the men kicked you again and you collapsed. You looked back to see which one had attacked you, but in that same instant a dark blur moved by you at such speed you could barely make out what it was.

Vartan now stood over you, facing the man behind you. Without a word he reached out and ripped the man's head right off his shoulders. Blood sprayed your apartment like a fire hydrant and you shrieked, more from surprise than horror.

The other two men, upon realizing just what had been hiding in your apartment, made a run for the door, but they didn't even make it out of the kitchen. Vartan swooped in like an angel of death, clad in black, ripping the burglars limb from bloody limb as you sat watching, frozen in shock.

The man who had initially punched you was the last to go, lying face up in a pool of his blood, both his arms torn off. Vartan lingered with him, bi-colored eyes narrowed into an expression you had never seen a half-breed wear, as if he had a personal vendetta against the man. He lifted the man up into the air and squeezed the man's neck until there was a terrible cracking sound. Vartan dropped the now limp body onto the floor and turned around.

You stared up at him blankly. He was covered in blood, like red brush strokes on white canvas. He was a ruthless angel of death, but somehow he had become your savior. "Are you alright?" he asked, holding out a hand to you. Even though it made no sense, even though it was totally crazy to even think it, you could've sworn right then that Vartan looked worried.

"I'm okay," you answered, taking his hand and standing up. You looked around the kitchen, suddenly more thankful than ever for your time at the clinic. You had seen so much blood and gore that it hardly fazed you any more.

"I am sorry," Vartan said in his usual monotone voice. "I have broken one of your rules. I will leave if you want."

You had nearly forgotten making the rule at all. He had agreed to punish no one while he was staying with you, but how could you enforce that rule when he had broken it only to save you?

"I don't want you to leave," you told him, surprised by your own frankness. "You protected me, so how can I blame you for that?"

He looked at you silently for a moment, and for the first time you were struck by a sudden desperation to know what he was thinking. If you asked, he probably would have told you, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it.

"I will clean up the mess I made then,” he said. 

You nodded and gathered up the food the men were trying to steal. Some of it was splattered with blood, but most of it was in plastic bags, safe from the bloodshed. You replaced what could still be used in the refrigerator and handed the now empty bags to Vartan, who began placing the various severed limbs in them.

The two of you cleaned the kitchen in silence, the only sounds coming from the squish of body parts being crammed into the bags or the squeak of a mop across the floor. You wondered if you should thank Vartan for what he did. How did things get this far? You had started out fearful of speaking to him, because he was a half-breed. Now you were afraid for entirely different reasons.

You felt like you were balancing on a wire, caught between being fascinated by him - strangely attracted to his otherness and grateful for his bizarre kindness - and being disgusted by his violence.

When they were finished, they took turns in the shower and met again in the kitchen. Vartan had a dark towel wrapped around his waist, apparently remembering the conversation that took place before you left for work. You threw his uniform into the washing machine and sat down at the table.

"Are you hungry?" you asked him casually, your own appetite completely dissolved from the moment Vartan ripped the first head off.

"Somewhat," he answered, his voice as even as ever.

"What do you like?"

"Meat. Cheese. Carrots. Oranges." He read them off like a grocery list.

You stood up and opened the fridge. "I have bologna."

"That will be fine," he said.

You pulled out the things you needed to make a sandwich and avoided his eyes while you fixed his food. He was watching you, staring at you with those alien eyes, yet somehow it felt... normal? Like he had been watching you for years? You shook your head and finished his sandwich, then sat down at the table beside him.

He ate the food, slowly but otherwise the same way anyone would eat. You remembered Terrian's words, that Nariah had become "so much more human than Pagoda". You wondered if you could ever say the same for Vartan.

"Hey," you said, and he stopped mid bite to look at you curiously. You hesitated for another moment, then smiled at him. "Thank you."

The corners of his mouth twitched, as if he reflexively wanted to return the smile, but his expression remained the same. "You're welcome," he replied.

Tag List:

@scrumptiouslampwobblercop

If you’d like to be tagged in future parts, let me know!

[ineffablesuffering]

Read to Me (Aziraphale X Reader)

So I'm back with a self indulgent fic. I love War of the World's and as I was reading it I thought this up. I hope you enjoy!

Pairing: Aziraphale x platonic!reader

Warnings: none!

Word Count: 1281

Masterlist

–------------

It had been a long day. Everything that could have went wrong, went wrong. It started when you missed the bus and had to get a taxi to work, then your interactive whiteboard wouldn't turn on, the children wouldn't listen and then to cheer yourself up, you bought a coffee and proceeded to drop it within 5 minutes of buying it. It had been a long day. The knowledge that it was Friday and you had the weekend to recover was your only comfort.

You walked along the streets of Soho, the sky's darkening as you clutched your bag close to you, focusing on trying to get to your destination before the rain came down, but it was no use. The heavens had opened and rain beat down from the sky above. You would have laughed if you weren't already having a bad day, because to top it off, you had left your hooded jacket at home. Angrily, you swipe at the tears falling from your eyes as they mingled with the raindrops that glided down your skin. You could see the old bookshop on the corner, you prayed that Aziraphale was at home.

You had met the angel of a man in the cafe across the road from his shop one Sunday afternoon. The cafe was brimming with people and seats had been scarce. You had left your planning to the last minute again and all you wanted was a seat and a small space to plan your lessons. You looked around and  spotted a man sitting alone at a larger table with a cup of tea and a book. You made your way to him.

"I'm so sorry to bother you, but is it okay if I sit here? I promise I won't disturb you it's just that there's no more seats," you had said clutching your laptop to your chest.

"Of course," he had said "It's not a problem."

"You're an angel, thank you so much!" you said taking a seat at the table, making sure to give him enough space. You opened your laptop and began to type away.

"Are you a university student?" the man enquired.

"Uh no," you started finishing off the sentence you were typing. "I'm a teacher actually, this is my first year so I'm still getting the hang of things, I've not long graduated."

"A teacher you say? Very amicable. Although you seem rather young to be a teacher?"

"I get that a lot," you chuckle, "I'm 23 so I guess in some ways I am. My kids, my pupils, are only 11 years younger than me which is nothing in the grand scheme of things."

He smiled, "It really isn't."

"I'm Y/N by the way," you smile holding out your hand.

"Aziraphale." He replied shaking your hand.

After that day, you seemed to find yourself in that cafe more often and more often than not, Aziraphale would also be there too. You often sat together and he would sometimes help you plan your week. It was miraculously easy to plan when he was around, you could find everything you needed to on the first attempt. He had become a fast friend and soon you were invited over to his bookshop where he would often let you work if you needed a space to.

So that's where you were headed now, desperately seeking the comfort of a friend and there's no one you felt more comfortable around than Aziraphale. Sometimes, it was nice just to rant about teaching to someone who would quite happily sit and listen to you, rather than tell you how to fix your problems. You got to the door and saw the closed sign but battered on the door anyway. A few moments later a slightly annoyed looking Aziraphale was at the door unlocking it and pulling it open but the minute he saw your drenched figure his face softened.

"My dear! Come in," he said, stepping aside to let you in.

You brush past him quickly, trying to clear your face quickly so he doesn't see you crying. He's quick to your side suddenly with a towel in his hand but you were too upset to even think about where he got it from. He handed you the towel with a sympathetic smile on his face. You mumble a small thank you before taking it off of him using the warm towel to take some of the moisture out of your hair.

"My dear, whatever is the matter?" He asks guiding you towards a chair, but his kind words make you stop and a sob wrecks through your body. "Oh dear," he says bringing you into a tight embrace, stroking the back of your head gently, "Shhh," he hushes trying to calm you down "it's going to be okay." You clutch on to him and let the tears that had been building fall freely down your face. The pair of you stand like that for awhile, you holding on to Aziraphale like your life depended on it while he stroked your head and back whispering soothing words into your ear.

You rear back after awhile, but stay close. The emotions of the day clear on your face. "I'm sorry," you whisper hoarsely.

"Whatever for?"

"I got you all wet"

"Don't worry about it, you're being silly." he smiled softly at you. "Come sit with me and tell me what has gotten you so upset" he took the towel out of your hand and placed it on a table, walking you over to the sofa tucked up the back of the shop and sat down beside you holding your hand.

You told him about your day, everything from missing your bus to dropping your coffee and everything in between. He sat and listened patiently, never interrupting just nodding softly when required. You let out all your emotions and stress of the day, hell the week, and he listened.

"Well," he said when you had finished your rant. "You clearly haven't had a great day."

"You can say that again," you mumbled looking at the floor. "I'm sorry for barging in like this, I just didn't know where else to go."

"You never have to apologise my dear, I'm happy you can seek comfort in me." he said softly brushing a stray tear from your face as you raised your head to look at him. "Now what do we say to a nice hot chocolate and a book." He said reaching for the tartan blanket that hung on the back of the sofa wrapping it around you.

"Yes please," you reply, nodding meekly, "but only if you read to me."

"Of course." He said, standing "I'll be back in just a jiffy."

Before you knew it, he was back holding a steaming mug in one hand and a book in the other. You took the mug off of him whispering your thanks as he sat down beside you again. You took a slow sip feeling the chocolatey deliciousness warm you from the inside out. You rested your head against his shoulder so you could see while he read to you. He glanced down at you, a soft smile gracing his lips once more before opening the book.

"No one would have believed in the last years of the nineteenth century that this world was being watched keenly and closely by intelligences greater than man’s..." he read, his voice silky smooth and deep, and just loud enough for you to be able to hear. You closed your eyes as he read to you allowing your friend to soothe you with his words and take the emotions of the day away.

[tlouxobsessed]

Let me down

Synopsis - Ellie and y/n were best friends until they began to drift, y/n hates Ellie now. At least up until your mother invites Ellie over for dinner.......

Characters - Switch/mean!Ellie x Y/N!reader

I do not own The last of us, Y/N is afab therefore female body parts will be mentioned. Below there is a warning of what will contain this story.

Warnings - Lesbian sex, , cunnilingus, fingering (r!receiving) spanking, abandonment, afab (female parts) , Mentions of murder.

~ Four years earlier ~

"Okay so Truth or Dare" the green eyed girl said to y/n.

"Hmm-"

"Hurry Y/N!!!"

"Ellie!! calm down I need to think" Y/n said laughing at the girls lack of patiences.

"Okay...truth"

"Lameeee" Ellie said, rolling her forest green eyes towards y/n.

"Fine....dare"

Ellie smirked knowing now she could make y/n do the stupidest thing ever. Ellie sat there pondering on what she should make y/n do, she wanted her to do something risky. Y/n stared at Ellie waiting for her to decide, she admired Ellie's features. The way her jawline was perfectly chiseled. Her green eyes sparkling in the low light from the lamp. The auburn hair landing right above her breasts.

"y/n?" Ellie asked.

"Oh shit- sorry uh?" Y/N said her pinks turning a bright shade of pink.

~ Present day ~

"holy shit-" you said bursting up after the dream. You didn't think about Ellie much...but when you did it was like swallowing nails. It pained you so much but there wasn't anything you could do. Your friendship with her was over. Anywho you weren’t really the type that sat and dwelled over stuff out of your control, you enjoyed the present not the past. Sure you’d see Ellie around Jackson but you never paid much mind to so, the two of you never had to speak so why’d bother dwelling?

You glanced over at your clock, the red numbers exclaiming ‘5:47’ realizing you sat there for two extra minutes overthinking your dream. 'fucking shit I need to get up' you stood up staring into the mirror by your bed, wondering why you'd get up so early anyways? you had been training your body for years to get up at this time, but no patrol today, no plans....so why be up so early.

"Baby are you up?" you glanced behind you seeing your mother come into your room. Her hand wrapped around a steaming cup of coffee. Your mother had always been your best friend, after your father passed away she was all you had. You adored her and she adored you, it was always that way.

"Oh Hi mom, are we doing anything today?" You asked slipping some jeans on along with a crewneck. "Well Hun I was thinking...and before you say no- hear me out, I invited Ellie over-" You quickly looked up, your heart dropping hearing that familiar name once again. You hadn't spoken to her in years, after Joel died she became even more distant.

You knew she lived on a farm a few miles out from Jackson, with Dina and their child. But that was short lived....

~ Two years prior ~

"It's Dina!!! she's back!" Your mother said running towards Maria's house pulling you with her. You two wandered into the house seeing a distraught Dina and a sleeping JJ. "Ellie left...Tommy came and started rambling about finding Abby, she went to go find her three months ago. I've decided to come back and live with Jesse's parents. I am done with Ellie...if she even makes it back."

' If she even makes it back '

You felt your heart skip a beat with that sentence. Even though Ellie and you had a falling out...you still wouldn't be able to live without knowing she was safe.

"Excuse me" You said heading back towards your house, you spent the next few weeks crying to yourself and wearing Ellie's old shirt she had left there.

~ Back to present day ~

"Mom!! seriously?? Why?" your mother glanced down swirling the drink with her finger then taking another swig. "Because Y/n she doesn't have anybody anymore...she's been alone. You still never told me what happened between you two.." You didn't know how to tell your mom, she didn't know you liked girls. She had no idea that night by the fire, the dare was to kiss Ellie, she didn't know that Ellie and you ended up half naked, bodies intertwined that night...hair a mess...sweat pouring. She had no idea...Ellie's long term girlfriend, Cat walked in on the two of you intertwined, lips parted with one another's...bodies drenched...room filled with tension.

Yet you still never got what you wanted...you never got Ellie completely. Even when the two of you were best friends, there was always someone stopping you from having one another completely. And when the two of you were about to make love, somebody once again stopped that. This made you despise Ellie, Cat made you despise Ellie...then Dina...They all prevented you from having what was yours. Ellie.

"She is coming over for dinner, you do not have to tell me what happened between you two...but y/n please be nice." You nodded sitting down on your bed and pulling out your journel.

You began writing in this when Ellie had given you it. For your fifteenth birthday...she gave you a notebook with doodles in it. Pictures of you, her and some pages dated with days Ellie had written about you. You cherished the notebook like a child, writing in it everyday for hours.

Entry #1,990

Today mom told me Ellie is coming to dinner...which means she is staying with us. I had a feeling something was coming, my mom had been acting too nice recently. Cleaning my room, trading her favorite stuff for new dresses, shoes and books for me. I should've known.

I haven't spoken to Ellie in forever...I'm pretty nervous but we will see how it goes. I dunno how I feel about Ellie anymore...I know she loved Dina so much so I am a lil' nervous but we'll see ya'know?

"Y/N!! please come down here please!!" You heard your mother say. Your stomach felt full, your throat felt dry and your head felt heavy. God what were you going to do. You made you way down the creaky stairs revealing a tired looking Ellie. She was wearing a dark green button up, the sleeves rolled up revaling that same tattoo she's had since seventeen. Some black skinny jeans hugging her figure. And her usual converse still on ever since you were teens. You didn't know what to say. She didn't look up at you, her eyes kept locked to the ground.

"hi" you choked out, the smell of dinner hitting your nose as you made your way further down into the living room. "Hey" Ellie said looking up at you, her greens meeting your e/c.

"Listen dinner is ready! I hate to do this but I have to head out....Maria and Tommy invited me for a drink at their house to discuss some town issues. I love you" Your mom said to you guys, walking over and placing a kiss on your forehead. She hugged Ellie, "great to see you Ellie" then made her way out.

The two of you just stared at one another..."You hungry" you asked the awkward girl.

"Uh a litle" Ellie replied. You nodded placing some of the chicken and potatoes on her plate.

The two of you sat in silence until you knew you had to break the thick tension.

"Ellie...We left off on a really bad term when we had last spoken."

"Yeah we did" Ellie said mouth full with bread.

"I'm sorry" You were surprised to hear Ellie say that. You never expected her to actually take ownership for her actions. "I really am y/n, It wasn't right of me for what I did....I really....really wanted you...I always have" Ellie put down her fork making her way over to you. Placing her warm, rough hands onto your shoulders rubbing them. You didn't even know how to respond. You melted into her touch feeling her thumbs go right into the soft spots of your weak shoulders.

"Let me clean this up for us" Ellie picked up the dishes, washing them while you sat there stunned. This all felt too familiar....too comfortable, almost too good to be true. Ellie walked back over to you, reaching out waiting for you to interlock hands. "C'mon y/n let me show you how sorry I am." You agreed lining up your fingers with hers, she followed behind you, walking into your once pink room. The walls now grey, your black sheets and black curtains surprised Ellie.

You and her sat down onto the bed, the once full sized mattress now a queen. It was all so different, you weren't the same girl Ellie had let down one too many times. Ellie looked over at you, flashbacks from that hot July night coming in way too fast. The feeling of her warm, plump, chapped lips against yours all too similar. Her hand made its way up to your right breast, cupping it and massaging through the thin purple tank you had on. She reached behind unclipping the bra, cool air turning your nipple rock hard. She caressed your erect nipples, your moans into her mouth turning her eager to feel you.

"Take these off" Ellie said gesturing towards your grey sweats, her fingers playing with the band of the pants. You complied, pulling them down revealing your lace, black panties. "fuck Ellie" You gasped as she rubbed her calloused palm over the small wet patch. Ellie slipped your panties to the side, rubbing her index finger between your dripping folds. You couldn't help but twitch with each light tap on your clit. "You like that y/n? Show me how bad you want me" Ellie's words felt like drugs in your bloodstream, her mouth parting once again between yours. Her tongue fumbling against the inside of your mouth, licking your bottom lips just as she sticks her pointer inside you.

She strums pushing it up on your spongey part, you tighten around her as she pulls out then adds another. Her two fingers pumping in and out, your moans getting louder, gripping the back of her neck. She pulls out unbuttoning her sweat drenched shirt revealing a black sports bra, she takes off her black jeans adjusting her soaked boxers. Ellie pushes you down back onto the bed, making her way up sucking and kissing on your inner thighs, she leaves her signature purple and red marks.

"Oh my-" You manage to spat out as she plunges her tongue against your soaking wet cunt. "Take it" she says shoving two fingers in immediately...feeling you clench around her. She sighs out feeling you tense up every time you speed up against her swollen clit. The throbbing part of you begins to feel heavy, your stomach feels tight, that all too familiar knot forming. Ellie watches as you unclench releasing your hot, juices all down her hand.

She pulls her hand out, licking your juices off consuming it like she's been starved. "You did so good" Ellie says watching your red face become a shade darker from the praise.

Ellie lays next to you, rubbing your temples and handed you the glass of water near your bed...all you can manage to say while laying against her chest.....

"Please don't let me down again..."

I hope you guys enjoyed :0 I love writing one shot smuts, but I always need sooooo much detail that it could become an actual story LOL.

[spid3rpunksimp]

Hello this my first time doing this but if you don’t mind can I request a Hobie x reader where the reader is in a somewhat depressive state because they miss their best friend that they’ve been friends with for 6 years. And they haven’t seen them in  3-5 months but to them it seems like a year. And reader is having breakdowns at random times through the day. But tries to hide it and make it seem like they are ok but it’s obvious that they aren’t ok.

You can ignore this if you want

Ngl, I know this one is a personal request. I know how it feels to be depressed, or have depression for that matter. If I'm correct I hope you know that your loved and that it'll be okay

Just pretend

Bst.F/N=Best friend's name

I tear trickled down my check as I looked in the mirror, and hand over my mouth. I missed them so much. It was so painful to sit here without them. Memories of us sitting together and laughing at jokes that didn't even make since to our self's flooded my mind as more tears fell as knocking on the bathroom door broke the silence as I was cover the sound of my silent weeping.

"Love? A'e you alright?" Hobie said to be through the sound of the door as I wiped away my tears and tried to make my voice sound as normal as possible. "Yup! Just finishing up!" I said as I grabbed a mascara bottle and put some one, trying to hide any sight of the fact that I was just crying. Hobie knew about me and my best friend, he knew that they had moved away just about five months ago, he knew I was hurting because of it, but I was determined to make sure he didn't know just how badly this was affecting me, I don't want him to worry...

As I unlocked and opened the bathroom door I stepped out and hugged Hobie tightly with a warm smile on my face. "Coffee?" I said as I looked up at him with pleating eyes. It was something that really kept me going throughout the day. "Of course, love." Hobie chuckled back as I let go of him and started walking to the door.

Our entire drive there was practically silent. I stared out the window as I felt tears threaten to fall from my face as another flash back of me and my best friend flooded my mind once more. I thought about how me and my best friend would go out and get coffee together on Saturdays and we would simply talk about our life's. Before me and Hobie were dating I would tell her everything about our friendship and as soon as me and Hobie started dating I would tell her everything that was going on between our relationship. She was even there for me and Hobies first kiss.

"Love?" Hobie said in a worried tone as I jolted back to reality, looking over to him holding back the tears best I could, "You alright love? You ain't answer'in me and I've been tellin you we're here for the past minute." Hobie told me as I simply blinked wide eyes as I felt the tears begin to make their way out of my eye. "Sorry, must've spaced out there." I said as I unbuckled and got out of the car quickly, walking inside and to the bathroom as quickly as I could.

As soon as I got into the bathroom I broke. The pain was so much, I couldn't handle it alone but I had to. My best friend ended up getting a new number and had forgotten to tell me exactly what it was. It was killing me on the inside cause I knew I would most likely never see them again. As that thought came into my mind I broke once again, covering my sobs with my hand as someone else came into the bathroom. I felt steamy tears roll down my eyes, falling onto my ripped jeans as more and moire followed after, mascara becoming ruined.

After the person had left I took my hand off of my mouth and whipped my tears with a piece of toilet paper, throwing it away and walking out of the bathroom shortly after.

"Babe.." I heard Hobie say beside me as I stepped into the car. "Yeah?" I said giving him a smile. Looking at his expression my smile slowly faded as he examined my face. "Love what's going on?" he asked me as I simply looked at him blankly. "What do ya mean? I'm great!" Hobie looked at me concerned as he handed me my coffee and put the car into reverse and began to drive out of our parking spot. "Whatever you say.."

As the car drove by building after building, I felt tears come up once again as I took small sips of my coffee. I felt Hobies eyes on me. I knew he knew. It was stupid of me to think I could hold up a game like this for so long.

As we pulled into the parking lot and walked up the stairs towards our apartment it was silent. Tears pecked at my eyes and burned them as I held them back with all the force I could muster up. As we opened the door I couldn't take it anymore as I dropped the coffee entirely and ran into the bathroom, slamming the door shut and locking it. After, I turned the water on and slid down the door as loud, sad sobs erupted from my mouth. Tears ran down my cheeks and ran down my nose, face, and chin. Some tears went into my mouth as I tasted the salty water mix of sadness.

Knock knock knock

The knocks were genital. Soft and full of worry. "Please let me help." I heard a genital voice say as I covered my mouth. Hobie had been listening the entire time I was crying. Before I could stop myself I felt myself reaching up and unlocking the door, moving over to the wall behind the door as I felt it open quietly. "This is about (Bst.f/N) innit?" he said as he gave me a soft look, sitting down next to me and hugging me genitally. I shook my head.

"Its okay to talk to me about this stuff." hobie said as he moved me to his lap as I straddled him, putting my head on his shoulder as I sobbed louder as I felt him genitally pet me, playing with the bottom of my shirt as we simply sat there as I cried.

"It's okay, love. I'm right here."

I'm so sorry if this isn't exactly what you wanted it was just what I had come up with so yeah thank you for the request though!

[track-five]

i've accumulated over fifty half-written fics in the past four years (i'm sure most of them will end up smashed together) so i desperately need help figuring out what to focus on right now. here are little pieces from a few (decently established) drafts that i could get out within a few days while i work on longer stuff

1.

“Could I ask you a question?”

“Always,” Harry grinned, sliding into bed and gently tugging the older boy to sit between his legs.

“I...jus’ love you s’much.”

“…is that your question?”

“Mm, yeah.”

“You really got a fever, don’t you?”

2. [larry's house: loml]

“I thought you were a murderer! Never sneak in like that again, damn near gave me a heart attack.”

“Maybe I am a murderer."

“No, you’re the love of my life.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t murder you...”

3. [very very very sappy pining love letters]

I guess I’m just lonely tonight. Maybe I wish I had you here to hold me like I held you. Maybe I just need a good cry. Maybe I just need you.

Can you come home yet?

I miss you.

I love you.

- Louis

4. [unfortunately this has no redeeming qualities! all hurt, no comfort]

“I jus’ wanna do up his necklace one more time.” Louis’ throat tightened as tears pricked the corners of his eyes. “I wanna stroke his curls and hold his hand and make him laugh one more time. I-I…I jus’ want one more minute.”

5. [baby boyfriends]

“When’s the last time you had a glass of water?”

“Huh? Oh, I dunno. Yesterday?”

“Harry, you’re jokin’ right?”

“I, uh, I don’t think so.”

Louis kept up his incredulous stare while running a hand through his fringe. He sighed, breaking their eye contact when he turned his gaze to the ceiling as if some kind of answer to his every problem would fall from the heavens.

“Christ, your mother’s gonna kill me."

[duskwoodgirl4life]

Chapter 11

I spent the next week in the hospital. The pains have started to subside and the doctors are happy with the progress. The baby is healthy and doing really well. Jake hasn't left my side. I finally managed to persuade him to get some rest. He's been sleeping in the chair next to me for the past couple of hours. He's been so focused on me that he's not been looking after himself. Now that I have started to get better I'm going to make sure Jake gets some proper rest. I know he only wants to make sure I'm okay but the way he's been going he's completely worn out.

The next couple of days everything is still looking good, the doctor is pleased with how I am doing and tells me I can go home. " I'm so happy you said that, I can't wait to get home to my own bed" I see a look of relief on Jake's face that the doctor is letting me go home. Later that afternoon Jake and I got home. It's such a nice feeling being able to be back. It feels like a lifetime since I was last home. "Now MC why don't you put your feet up and I'll get you something to drink" Jake is still trying to pretend he's got everything under control. "Jake, stop you go and sit down. I can make myself a drink. You're completely exhausted now go" Jake doesn't try to argue with me as he knows deep down I am right.

By the time I get back to the sofa Jake is already asleep, I grab the blanket off the back of the sofa and cover him up. I sat down next to him and put on the TV for some background noise. Not really paying attention to the TV I start to feel my eyes get heavy and I soon fall asleep cuddled up to Jake.

I don't know how much time passed but when I wake up Jake is not next to me, when I look at the clock it's 6pm. "Jake? Where are you?" I pull myself up off the sofa and go in search of Jake. As I make my way through the apartment I spot a note on the table that's from Jake.

Dear MC,

I've just gone to pick up some Chinese. I will be back soon.

Love

Jake

Xxxxxx

A smile spreads across my face. He's so thoughtful, I decided to go warm some plates up for when Jake gets back. After setting the table I grab a couple of candles and make it a little bit more romantic. After the table is set I walk over to the window to close the curtains and I see Jake talking to a woman I can't quite make out who she is until she turns around. Why the hell is he talking to her or all people why is he standing talking to Emma! I start to feel all kinds of emotions. Everything feels like it's hitting me all at once. He stood there talking to his ex. He's talking to her laughing and joking. I close the curtains and walk over to get my phone and send Jake a text.

MC: Hey, how long are you going to me?

Jake: Hey, I won't be long just on my way back

MC: I've set the table, do you want anything to drink?

Jake: please I'll have some juice, I will be home in 5 minutes X

I put my phone down on the table and walked back over to the window, pulling the curtain back a little. I don't see Jake standing there anymore. After a few minutes I hear Jake coming back, closing the door behind him. "I'm back MC sorry I was so long I'll explain everything in a second" I was completely taken back when Jake said he would explain everything. A part of me was expecting him to make up some lie or excuse but he didn't. He actually said he would explain. After the food gets plated we sit down at the table and start to eat. "MC, the reason why I was so long was because I ran into Emma. I wasn't expecting her to still be in duskwood after everything" I sat looking at Jake as he tried his best to explain what had gone on between them. "She said she's doing well and is seeing someone else. She told me she misses me and wanted us to try again but I turned her down. I told her that I am in love with you MC"

I was completely taken back by what Jake said. I was all prepared for an argument in my head. I was picturing slamming doors and crying. "You really told her that? Just when I thought I couldn't love you anymore than I already do." Jake smiles and takes my hand in his and gives it a light squeeze. "I really did MC, I never really loved her deep down I knew it was a mistake the moment I asked her to marry me" I start to feel my heart rate slow down and my body starting to feel at ease with what Jake has told me.

As the weeks pass Jake and I grow even closer together with the arrival of the baby approaching we have started to sort the spare room out and get it decorated. We decided to go for an ocean theme. Jake painted the walls an ocean blue colour with a hint of green on the blue. I draw on the walls sketching out different animals. After I get done sketching the last little details on the fish I feel Jake's arms wrap around me. "Hey, I brought you something to eat and drink, I thought you could use a break" I turn to face Jake and kiss him softly on the lips and smile. "Thank you babe, I could use a break" I follow Jake into the kitchen when there is a knock at the door I shout to Jake telling him I'll answer it. When I open the door there is a box on the floor with a note sticking out the side of the box.

I pick it up and look at the note it's addressed to Jake. "Jake there was a box with this note left for you" I hand the box to Jake and he looks at the note, all the colour drains from his face. He hands me the note and I read what it says.

To my darling Jake,

It was so good to see you the other day. I love you just as much as I have ever done. I hope you enjoy the gift I bought you until we meet again my handsome man.

Xxxxx

I drop off the note onto the table Jake opens up the box and inside is a dozen red roses petals. "Jake what's going on? Is this some kind of sick joke" Jake sits down on a chair and looks at me with pure shock. "I don't understand what's happening!! Please MC you have to believe me" the look on Jake's face says it all. "It's from her isn't it? Why is she sending you gifts? Before Jake could even respond his phone buzzed. He pulls out his phone and it's a text from her.

Emm: Hello babe, hope you liked the little gift I left you I will win you back love you always Jake. Xxxxx

[goldheartedsky]

Idk if you're still doing the kiss prompt fills but Andy/Booker for 50?

50) ...out of love

"I'm sorry the house is a fucking mess," Booker mumbles, embarrassment flooding up his throat as Andy steps through the door. "I've been trying to get everything cleaned up, but, y'know..."

A grin tugs at her lips before she leans in and kisses him on the cheek, Booker all but melting under her touch. "You've got three kids under 5, Book. I'm not expecting your house to look like a museum," she says, punching his shoulder gently. "I'm just glad you finally stopped acting like a hermit."

"Yeah, I just—" He scrubs a hand over the back of his neck and swallows thickly. "It's just been a lot to deal with, Heloise being gone and all."

It's been a year since she walked out on him—on them all, really—and, while the initial blow of his wife's infidelity had cut him so deep that it's a miracle he's even in one piece, Booker is still reeling from the fact that Heloise could just walk away from the boys without looking back once. So, yeah, he's pulled away, drank too much, focused on the boys instead of his friends or even himself.

Who wouldn't?

But Andy seems to sense the shame creeping back into his body and chases it away in an instant, slinging her arm over his shoulder and tugging him toward the couch. "Come on, we've got a lot to catch up on."

They put some dumb old sitcom on the TV and chip away at the past six months of missed moments together, Booker laughing for the first time in way too long. It was like missing a limb, like living underwater for months on end, and Booker is finally able to breathe again.

At least, until Jean-Pierre wakes up—the baby monitor blaring red as the toddler starts crying.

"Fuck," Booker grumbles, looking at Andy apologetically. "It'll just be a minute. He probably dropped his—"

Andy rolls her eyes and shoves him up off the couch. "Book, it's fine, go take care of JP. I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

He freezes, words cutting straight into the tenderest parts of his heart, and wonders if Andy really knows what she said. She's here. She's not leaving him.

It takes a little bit to settle Jean-Pierre and, even though Andy had promised she'd be there when he got back, a little rush of surprise still runs through Booker when he sees her still on the couch when he comes back downstairs. But that surprise is immediately replaced by aching infatuation when he sees what she's doing on the couch.

Booker's legs feel numb as he makes his way down the last couple steps, watching Andy fold another one of Henri's little shirts. The basket of clean laundry he had abandoned a few days ago is at her feet and a pile of folded clothes sits beside her like it's the most normal thing in the world.

"What—What are you doing?" Booker croaks, throat suddenly so dry he's not sure how the words come out.

Andy's brow furrows as she looks up at him, a pair of JP's pajamas in hand. "Folding the boys' laundry?" she says, like he's stupid and, honestly, maybe Booker is. "I figured you could use the help and I'm here." The room spins and a soft smile tugs on Andy's lips as her head tilts. "What?"

He's not sure what happens but something comes over him. His mind shuts down and his heart takes over his body as he stumbles over to Andy, grabbing the pair of pajamas from her hands and tossing them to the side. She doesn't even have a chance to say a single word as Booker wraps one hand around the back of her neck and drags Andy into a devoted kiss. He kisses until they both run out of breath, until his head is spinning, until Andy kisses him back with just as much tenderness.

"What was that for?" she whispers, finally breaking the kiss to catch her breath. Andy's aquamarine eyes are wide and bright and Booker never wants to let her go. "It's just laundry..."

Booker shakes his head and pulls her into another kiss before murmuring, "It's so much more than that."

[eddievansick]

No joke left behind

I had just begun to start my latest comeback. And I do TikToks and send them to Instagram too, but I try not to do anything on Facebook because of all the hackers and Facebook's constant desire NOT to do anything about hackers or cloned accounts. I have some content on YouTube too, but I have either been working way too many hours just to survive, so comedy wasn't possible for the 10 or so years. But I was doing good back in the day and with about 1000 followers I was on my way to making it. But I got hurt at work and the government had different plans for my life, basically to end it, but I'm not gonna get into that right now. Maybe later tho.

So I came up with an idea. I was gonna pool all my jokes, new and old, together, make a list, and get back out there. But money gets tight and Im struggling with a few injuries that caused my early retirement, so I decided to do albums. All the jokes about my son on one album (which I planned to do for a few years), then all my taxi jokes, complete with all the jokes about my gps girlfriend, Samantha (I still miss her. Every time a use my phones gps I think about her), and then all the "crazy" jokes, which basically covers everything.

But as I dove into my project I started to relive the past 12 years of my life, and I didn't realize that was gonna happen. Its depressing. You have no idea how depressing.

My plan was to go through a list that an old girlfriend made for me when I first started doing comedy. Then to go through both my phones for jokes I texted and sent, or didn't send, then go through all my emails. Then I was gonna go through my Facebook and all other social media sites for all those jokes. And of course all my TikTok and Instagram. But when I got to the Facebook it all hit me. I had deleted my first 3-4 Facebook sites, mainly because of all the hackers on Facebook and the silencing of political truth and their extreme far left agenda, but the last one I took screenshots of so I didn't lose the content. Some were jokes, some were memories. And not all the memories were good. Especially the last 11 years.

And i'm ocd so when I save something on the pc, or send a joke or another writing, i usually send it to more than 1 other source, and sometimes to 4 other sources. Then I move it and save it again so I don't lose it. Then I use it again and save it all over, and repeat what I see is a vicious cycle. Some things I had saved almost 2 dozen times and now I was reliving the last 12 years of my life almost 2 dozen times. And it was depressing.

So I came up with a better idea. I'll write a book. It'll start with all the jokes about my son in chronological order, then go to the taxi and work related jokes, most of which have never been written before, but yep I got them, then the rest of my life, which is basically what I write about because its good to write about things you know, and I know me better than anyone else I know. I've been me for over 60 years now and, well, nobody does it better. It's not easy being me, don't get it wrong. In fact its torture sometimes, but I gotta be me, nobody does it better. I got experience like I said. In fact, one time at one job, as we were leaving for union negotiations, a manager joked, "so who is gonna be you now Ed?" And I told her, "well Patty, you can give it it try, but I wouldn't suggest it, not for a minute. Its not easy. Its tough." When we got back from the union vote I asked her, "so how was it?' And she said she didn't last 5 minutes, so I said "i told you so" and we all laughed. Why THEY were laughing I cant tell you. Its not easy being me.

Then from the book I will have a guide for recording the albums, and put everything on TikTok and Instagram. With the book I can do the sitcom and the movie, then do other movies and shows and be rich and famous all for about 6-12 months before I get hit by a truck or die some other way, and become a household name like Heath Ledger or James Dean, and have people cry at my funeral like they ever knew me, and visit my grave and leave their panties, and on and on and on.

But now its time to get serious again about writing. If I make it great, if not oh well. Even now my great-great-great-great-great-great, great, great grandchildren have an inheritance from me. And Im already gonna be a cult classic at least because of my christmas song "Ghetto Hell" and as of this moment I have made a grand total of $14.24 through DistroKid for its distribution to YouTube and all the other social media and streaming services. My great-great-great-great-great-great, great, great grandchildren should be able to split at least $250 by that time. Most comedians never see earnings that high, so thank you to all my fan, and thank you to my family member, and my several other personalities. Had any of the OTHER different personalities checked out Ghetto Hell on YouTube, I would have already been at $15.00 by now, but THAT'S OK! Be that way. See if I care.

The book shall be called No Joke Left Behind

[worstloki]

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS8yBaqBd/

Please, I've been laughing, crying over this for the past 5 minutes 😂😭💀

why does that have better editing than Thor 4 😳

[the-pappu-that-cant-dance]

I've been cry laughing over your url for the past 5 minutes help me

Hahahaa, thanks!!!!! I love your blog!!! It feels like such an achievement to be noticed by a blog I have admired!😄😂

[spinnychaircirclecasting]

On today's episode of I Work In A Comic Shop, I'm crying just a little bit.

I'm setting up for my weekly kids' game of D&D - the last one for a while, before I go to college. I'd mentioned this to everyone last week, mostly to give them the heads-up that they'd have a different DM soon.

And they surprised me with good-bye presents.

One boy, we'll call him X, came in with both his parents. He was the 8-year-old who last week made me realize that Big Hero 6 is somehow not a new movie anymore. He's also our party's goblin druid, who can wild shape into a giant frost salamander (with crocodile stats other than size. He wanted to be able to use his super-badass mini he'd been painting. We found a way :3). They all come in, and he's getting settled while I'm grabbing stools and finishing setting up the table, and X says "We brought you a present."

And he gently slides across the table to me, a little lizard mini. It's hand-painted, has some turf around its feet (including a skull - this kid loves skulls and gore and I'm honored that he gave me a skull too) and is on a base maybe the size of a nickel. He then proceeds to tell me all about how he painted it, how he used tweezers to set the itty-bitty rocks into place. And his parents explain that he looks forward to these games every weekend. Me too kiddo. Me too. 🥹

Fast-forward to the end of the adventure. The day has been saved, rewards have been granted, and we're starting to tidy up. And this girl (we'll call her Y) and her dad (he'll be Z), who've been at almost every one of my games for the past two months, slide an envelope over to me.

It's a lovely Robin's-egg blue, and it has my name written on the back. The handwriting is definitely Y's, a little messy in that kid way but extremely sweet. My name is even spelled correctly. (I have an extremely uncommon name and most people forget how to spell it, including some of my coworkers and occasional my friends. To be clear, I don't mind in the least if it's misspelled - but seeing that they took the extra second to get it right really does strike me as extra sweet.) And inside is a very sweet message, signed by the both of them. (Also, some cash. They really didn't have to- 😭💜).

So I'm gonna talk about Y for a minute. The first day she and Z came in was Father's Day, with a bit of an unusual request. Normally, parents leave their kids alone to play and then pick them up a few hours later. Z explained that Y is autistic, and gets really bad social anxiety on her own, especially alone. (Honestly? Not sure if was neurodivergence [I've never been tested], but I was just as freaked out by strangers and loud other kids at her age. I understood.) So Z asked if it would be okay for him to hang out, and kind of be her spokesperson so it was less scary. I was fine with this, and so was the other dad and his son who showed up later that day. Again, it was Father's Day, so the dads actually joined in on the game. Y and Z came back pretty much every week after that. And every time, Y got a little less shy and a little more comfortable. The last few weeks, I've seen her laughing and joking and coming up with crazy schemes with the other kids, even at a full table of 5 or 6 others. I've been so excited every time I see her laugh, because I know that a couple months ago, she wouldn't have.

Anyways. I'm gonna miss the crap out of these kids.

[fruitfulchaos]

just going to rant about polish healthcare here, bear with me.

so, here's the fucking thing. i had my last actual visit at the psychiatrist in MARCH. the next one was in july or even september, not sure. i was working a 9-5 at the time and simply couldn't go - didn't even get a phone consultation, nothing, just meds refilled. my next one is scheduled AT THE END OF NOVEMBER. important info is that two weeks from now will be exactly one year since i was admitted to a psych ward. 😐 now, the doctor calculated the meds wrong and i am missing one pack's worth of meds to even GET ME to the end of november. i have called about it before and they told me that "i will get a call with a date" which, of course, did not happen. i called them today, mad as fuck, because im on my last four pills, and i need to take two per day.

i asked the receptionist about a possible teleconsultation, mentioned that i am already a patient of said doctor. i cannot stress the terror the following put me in:

"in january at the earliest"

IN JANUARY??? I'M SUPPOSED TO WAIT 3 MONTHS FOR A FUCKING PHONE CALL?????????

"You must be joking" I laugh nervously into the phone and raise my hand to my mouth. My friend is sitting in front of me by the table, she's confused. The receptionist mutters some apologies or an explanation - doesn't matter, it's all buzzing in my brain. I plead with her further about how I'm running out of meds which were supposed to last me until the end of November. I mention the extreme doses I'm on.

"I can do Tuesday for the prescription code"

"Tuesday?" I mumbled into the phone, trying to remain formal and polite. "Nothing earlier? For just a code?" A prescription code is four digits long, and my last full visit ran for no longer than 10 minutes. I tie the conversation up somehow, can't remember. I might have a date for Tuesday. I hang up and sit, with my mouth wide open for way too long to be normal, holding eye contact with my bestie who's now trying to silently figure out what happened without upsetting me. I'm, actually, factually, genuinely too stunned to speak. Some wires cross in my brain and somehow, despite the elephant doses of chemicals, tears form in my eyes. I don't cry, but something lifts, and a few of them fall while I'm just frozen like 😦. Withdrawing from 200mg of sertraline over 4 days might kill me. So now, I'm rationing the two pills I have left and try not to vomit my insides out, try to ignore the beaming pain in my skull. Tomorrow after uni I'm going straight to the psych ward unit nearest to me and forcing them to change my medication immediately. Or I Might Die. Fuck NFZ. Fuck private healthcare. Fuck the polish government for cutting funds for psychiatric healthcare. I've been waiting on a therapy date since march. I'm on the list of "patients in dire need", by the way. Had I not been working myself to the bone over the past few months, had I not decided to stay living with my abuser in order to afford finishing my degree, I wouldn't even be able to go for private healthcare, which I need to choose now. I will be eating away at my savings, so it's barely a choice now, anyway. It's not a choice when your other choice is to be metaphorically left bleeding out while waiting for an appointment. This is fucking insane. And they want to cut public funds even more, for the sake of some wanna-be capitalists. Poland is a tax heaven for corporations and it's making me go insane. How come I pay fucking taxes from my social and can't even get a fucking prescription on time, after being admitted?

[irrelevantlostie]

Ah yes. The one and only.