#I'M NOT A POKEMON GIRLIE SORRY BABES

[scimagic]

This would be Mr Puzzles's favorite Pokémon change my mind

Does anyone who know Pokémon wanna take this one from me? @crypticscarecrow Wiwi you wanna take a crack at it? FHSDAJK

[eartheats]

[recording continued: 05/17/2024]

(cws below: violence, mildly suggestive dialogue for one tiny bit, tatiana being a toxic bitch, talk of pokemon death for one bit (kevin that's kinda gross--), canon breaking slightly because fuck you, tatiana gets a keystone, and just. language in general? buckle up.)

"B...Backstabbing...? Tati, I..."

Ren seems genuinely shocked by what they hear, and it takes a few moments to register what the hell Tatiana is talking about; by the time they do, Tati seems to laugh, and there's nothing nice in it at all.

"Oh, don't you fucking give me the doe eyed fucking innocent act! I fucking patented that shtick years ago, you fucking bitch! I don't know who the fuck you think you are, but wow, you haven't fucking changed a day, have you? Sure got yourself a new and interesting couple toys, though~"

...And that proceeds to perplex Ren further, until Kevin seems to laugh a bit himself. Despite being rightfully scared slightly shitless, even he can find a bit of humor.

"Duuuuude. Sis. Whoever the fuck you are, Pinky without a brain, or whatever the fuck--" Given the flare that gets out of Tatiana, and the elbowing that Ren gives him off to the side get him to at least stop stirring the pot a bit. "Renny's the biggest ace to ever ace. You are sooooo barking up the wrong tree, babe."

"Eugh. Gross." Tatiana seems to tut at that, looking Kevin over with seeming disgust. "I wasn't talking about you, tall, dank, and stanky. My Renny wouldn't fucking ever. You do know that Metagross got multiple brains, right? Unlike you, it seems."

Kevin seems to laugh a bit at that, though it seems sharp--sharp in a way that concerns Ren, who practically glares up at Tatiana. "That is enough. Both of you, you better stop this shit right now--"

"Or what, sweetie? Last I checked, there's only one of us with a Champion rank here. And, oh, it sure as fuck isn't you, is it?"

Ren starts a bit at that, eyes widening--they had no idea she became a Champion, but-- "I mean, congrats on yer title? Don't exactly mean shit right now, girlie."

"Ohhh, you finally went and embraced the bumpkin accent, how cute--"

"Will you shut up for five seconds?!"

"Oh, fuck no! I'm having a great time right now, playing with you little insects~"

REQUESTING PERMISSION TO ERADICATE.

It's overwhelming. All of this is, Ren's never done particularly well in loud situations, and they hate it, they hate how their heart starts to spike, and Linux looking at them like they are ready to kill on initiation isn't helping matters. Weirdly enough, the Ribombee of all things seems to be worrying the most, trilling sadly, chancing to float closer--before Linux promptly starts to float, putting themself between Dearheart and the rest of them. At least Lulu recognizes his master's distress, and seems to be trying to get them to relax a bit, destress from all of the noise, noise, so much noise--

"T-Tati--" Ren's words come out distressed, to a point that even Kevin's looking over now with worry at what's transpiring and dialing back just a bit. "Tati, I'm--I'm fucking sorry, okay!? Everything just--it all got so overwhelming, and I--I--...!"

Despite their attempt (if it can even be called that) to apologize, Tatiana's barking laughter seems to prove that there's no end in sight to this.

"You're sorry! You're fucking sorry?!" Tatiana's voice raises to a practically cacophonic shriek, any poison in her tone replaced with a deep, almost primal fury. "You think that one pretty little word is going to fix everything you fucking did?!"

"Oh, fuck off with your sanctimonious TAUROS-SHIT!" Kevin finally chances at speaking up, stepping in front of Ren, and they find themselves startling, worrying, because Kevin's never been one to battle but they've never heard him so fucking angry-- "You act like Renny fuckin' went and killed your damn Fidough and took a shit on the corpse for good measure! I don't know what the fuck kinda beef you got with them, but dude, you better shut your trap right now."

That. Seems to have been the wrong thing to say, given that Tatiana's eyes go wild and sharp in a way that makes the feral Pokemon comparison even more apt. "Ohhh, or what~? Mr. Stoney's gonna come at me with, like, what? A punch that can't even hurt a Cutiefly? Careful, you might knock off an eyelash~ Though I could spin it in a cute way on Tinkatok and just, you know, fucking ruin you? Oh Arc, I'd probably be careful if I were you~!"

REQUESTING PERMISSION TO ERADICATE. WITH HASTE.

"You--" Ren finally manages to look at Tatiana, anger in their expression rising--they hate anger, it makes them ugly, it makes them worse, it makes them want to--they look to their Rotomphone, floating about, and a realization comes over them that their Rotom picked possibly the perfect time to be a little shit.

"You know you're already being recorded, right?"

And in an instant, not unlike the snap of a finger, Tatiana seems to stop. Her eyes are still wide, but in a way that implies shock. Genuine shock at being outplayed at her own favorite game, before her expression darkens as she looks between them all. Dearheart seems to trill with concern back at her trainer, but given the dark, driven expression on Tatiana's face...

Her decision's been made. A seemingly casual hairflip makes something catch in the light--something Ren and Kevin don't recognize, though it seems to glow with a light that the ribbon on her Mawile's neck seems to respond to.

An earring. A keystone earring.

"Lovely," Tatiana's utterance of the Pokemon's nickname comes out cold, driven by a need of some sort. To be right, to be proven right--nobody's sure, but her tone has lost any vapid warmth and is filled with a cold, unfeeling drive. "Crunch."

A sharp, bright glow overtakes the field for a brief moment, and it's perhaps that which makes Ren finally act. This feels dangerous, and they look up to their Rotomphone with an ill sense of ease.

"...Permission granted, Linux! Roto, get back!"

[video: taken 05/17/2024]

[The video starts pretty normally; it seems like Ren's in the Dalizapa passage, with Lulu, Linux, and a tall blonde haired man in what can only be described as "clothing that should have been retired years ago". torn shirt with holes in it, jeans that seem to be more bobbypins than fabric, and his long mess of blonde hair seems to cover his eyes a little bit. he also has a scarf that a few little pokemon can be seen poking their heads out of; a family of Maushold, it seems.

"Yoooo, Renny, thanks again for volunteering to help Gran out." The young man seems to laugh easily as he walks with a casual style, the Maushold making little noises as he does. "Really appreciate it. You said this stuff with the tinks should be sorted out real soon, yeah?"

Ren turns around with a grin, as the camera catches a brief glimpse of Lulu and Linux fighting off some Tinkatuff--ones that ran at them first, of course. "Don't mention it, Kev! Figure it's the least I can do since the both'a ya have been helpin' me out. We still on for tonight?"

"Duuude, fuck yeah!" Kevin laughs brightly as they walk, seeming to take a path towards Medali. "Need for Speed and alcohol, and neither of us have to drive? Sounds like a damn good time to me!"

Ren can't help but laugh at that a bit. "For sure. At least with this one the tickets we're gonna get are purely metaphorical!"

"Renny, if we aren't racking up huge fines by the end, what's the point?"

"Sooooo true, bestie!" The both of them laugh easily, though if one is eagle eyed enough, they can see Kevin look to the distance before Ren gets the chance to and reach out to grab their shoulder, stopping them cold as they startle a bit. "Kev, what's going--?"

"Dude. Hot and crazy spotted. We, uh, might wanna--"

Ren winds up looking back before Kevin gets a chance to try and do something--hide them, take another path, do something--but the camera turns along with Ren, and everyone will get to see who Kevin's talking about.

The camera focuses on a woman. A woman that might be a little familiar to those who remember the time that Ren's younger self took over their Rotomblr account for a while, but something about her is different. Maybe it's the fact that there's a lot more black in her wardrobe; a short leather jacket in black with rinestones that glimmer, with a cute pink dress underneath. It contrasts with the black boots she has on, ones that seem to raise her already rather sizable height (about 6'0'') to intimidating levels. She commands her Pokemon easily, a Mawile and a Shiny Ribombee taking on a Tinkaton and a few Tinkatuffs with ease as they come back to their trainer.

"Ohhhhh my goooosh! Look at you two! You guys slaughtered the fuck outta 'em! Good. It'll teach those nasty fucks to try stepping near our turf again, huh?"

Everything in the woman's voice drips venom, and there's a brief--hilariously brief second that turns back to Ren and Kevin, both looking like they're about to make a break for it--but it's the shiny Ribombee, sweet and innocent as ever, that seems to trill a bit in recognition before flying off. A joyful one to it and it alone, it seems, as the camera focuses back on the woman as she turns around to see where her partner is flying--

"Dearheart, baby, where you goin'? You see another one--?"

And then the woman catches sight of where Dearheart seems to be flying, and in an instant, her eyes seem to widen. Lulu seems to startle for a moment, but Linux is very quick to place themself between the Ribombee and everyone else, causing the Ribombee to startle. The camera focuses on the woman, who's gaze is full of utter shock, but one that slowly gives way to something else as she speaks up. Her expression tightens, her eyes widen further, and...

She looks more like a feral Pokemon when she speaks up, her tone booming and frankly furious.

"What the FUCK are you doing here, you backstabbing bitch?!"

The recording cuts off here.]