#I'M LITERALLY SO NORMAL ABOUT TJIS

[fishywaters]

Wonderful art!! ^^

PLAYER AND GRIEFER HI

[doomzday-zone]

ok but actually. i know i said this in the tags on ur post but genuinely i love ur faggy infinites i love ur attitude i love how u post whatever u want and put it in the main tags bc u are unapologetically urself when it is so easy to try and fit in. u have the confidence i aim to have for myself and it's so refreshing to see somebody who embraces being Weird <3 i've never engaged because i am unwell about people being aware of me but i've literally been lurking on you and the dog and hog gang for at least a year (i never really spoke much about liking them despite having interest for years) and. just. you're all so chill. the critical thinking, lack of judgement, this world needs more of that shit fr!! i hope u have a great day – good vibes from a transfag autism brained freak (and thank u for ur tags on my essay. i'm so glad other people care as much as me <3)

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I IWISJ I COULS ANSWER TJIS AND KEEP TJIS IM ,MY IMBOX FOREVER RAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO GLAD U LOVE MY BOYSSSSSSS<33333 RAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! i usually try n segment my replys to address every beat but this is so much........ to my liddle tiny heaet........ im ,iteralkly cyinf rnn can you tell????? UIVTBJVJBJVBKJ. this means. the world to me<33333 im glad<33 im glad i can inspire some of that in u<3 like for the longest time i was literally larping as one of the normies :sob: like i get it 100% the want 2 fit in and b accepted esp in fandom is strong but in my case it is utterlly unsustainable 2 follow the crowd. i cant pretend i dont like what i like. i cant pretend to be normal r have normal relationships 2 things r have normal opinions jnkjjkjbjk. and its hard!!!!!! there rlly isnt a real tangible space to be fucking insane and into weird n gross shit n etc in fandom like there is for the sanitized kiddy friendly stuff or the hyper horny stuff, its an awkward middle line 2 tread.(n im wayy too autistic 4 fandom anyways.... lol) and ik im not the only one. i wouldnt b able 2 be so unabashed and real and freaky w/o the support of all the amazing ppl ive met in my little freak circle<3333(IT IS SOOOOOO cheesey n cringe-sounding but im being so fr when i say my weirdoes n infinite the jackal saved my life<3333333333 i literally probably wouldnt even b alive today w/o em<333 thanks 2 all of u for helping me grow stronger btw hehe....)

Every day i choose to be insane and gross and a freak and a transexual faggot and autistic and TOO MUCH !!! for meself obv<3 but also for the ones i love and ppl like YOU!!!!!!!!!! >:D i cant change the world w just my little paws. but i CAN b crazy on main. i CAN show everyone that you dont have 2 be afraid of your own interests for fear of not being accepted in the greater fandom<333 even if these ppl never rlly come out of their shell... theres always someone, someplace out there thatll accept u. theres always more freaks, theres always more faggots<3 even if you never come out and yell it to the world if i could inspire just a tiny bit of this love in ppl thatd be enough for me :)

anyways. lol. kjnobjbiubjk thank you<33 a lot<3333 i mean it<333333 so many words i wish to say in this moment but ik you get it<3 mwamwa<333333333

life is short babey!!! dont be such a stranger okay ^_^

[sleepinginmygrave]

my hand slipped-

tea. wtf

i was about to eat a cherry tomato and open my inbox like what could possibly happen!!!! so yeah yeah okay and i see THIS. my hand stopped for a second and the tomato almost fell

HOW CAN YIU SEND TJIS TO ME AND EXCEPT ME TO BE NORMAL AFTER THIS

YOU MADE A MOODBOARD OF ME JUST LIKE THIS AND ITS SO SO FUCKING PRETTY AND OH MY GOF

I AM OBSESSED

OH MY GOD TEA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M GONNA CRY

YOU LITERALLY ADDED ALL MY FAVORITE THINGS EVER

EVEN A HARP

AND MOTHS OH MY GOD?????? I DON'T THINK I EVER TOLD YOU IN LOVED MOTHS

AND FUNFACT THIS JELLYFISH PICTURE IS LIKE. ONE OF MY FAV EVER IDK IT'S SO BLOBLOBLOBLOOBL

TEA IS LOVE YOU SO MUCH

first you draw me and now this I DON'T DESERVE YOU I SWEAR

OH MY GODDDDD

[lokilysolbitch]

yeah so my childhood friend of 15 years chronically leaves me on read especially after i have a lot to say which really sucks ass because i actually used to have a whole system of different apps i texted her through so i wouldn't overwhelm one chat with all my spam and she would have time to read it when she wanted. but then a few years ago she was like "no you can spam me in the main app !! you can infodump and vent whenever you want !!" so i said "omg cool !!" and infodumped. and she fucking. left me on read and NEVER acknowledged it at all. and she still does it !!!!!!! that's actually partly why i post on social media at all, especially tumblr bc there's some random person who will want to read all that. anyways yeah im on read again and it's been twelve hours. she HAS spoken in a group chat where i can see her talking tho. which is even more sick rad and cool/sar

but yeah i'm gonna use tumblr for what i made it for, here's my bullshit. they're separate thoughts for the most part:

i'm keeping a count of eyelashes that fall out my eyelash bc for years it's seemed kind of excessive. yesterday was SEVEN. ALL AT ONCE. today is five. also all at once. i think the shedding ones get stuck in my lashes tho and don't come out until i try to get a single oddly placed one out of the way??? so maybe it's normal ???

me, whenever my playlist of my favorite songs plays my favorite songs: OH MY GOD I LOVE TJIS SONG

bro i found nail polish from when i was fucking SEVEN and that shit still works oh my god. the youngest polish i have is from when i was in middle school and most of them are still good. i wanna paint my nails again and i WILL be using these. the shimmery ones are fucking gorgeous.

OH don't get me started on my fucking catching fire nail polish that i got when i was idk 12 because i loved and love the hunger games. don't get me started. okay fine i'll start IT IS SO PRETTY AND SHINY IT FR LOOKS LIKE FIRE LIKE ITS GOT RED YELLOW AND ORANGE GLITTER AND WHEN THE LIGHT HITS IT AHDJWIS SKWW SKEDID

and there's also my mockingjay blue polish. one time i painted my nails with it and scrawled "mockingjay" on it with fine line black nail polish and i only regret it not looking neater tbh. i WAS the cringe hunger games kid and not much keeps me from becoming one again

i have so much pink nail polish. i've never in my life liked pink like That tho. why are there so many. the pale pink does hit tho i'll give it that. goddamn it's pretty

the ac in my room doesn't work rn and it is quite literally. 50 something degrees in here. i have raynauds. i just want to feel my fingers again

all i'm saying. is they should make the dsm 5 less relatable idk. i am winning the put a finger down challenge but at what cost

it's really weird how no matter how you feel about someone you'll still see stuff at the store and think "they would like this"

----

okay i got tired i'm stopping now

[swallowed-by-the-moon]

I don't know if I'm the only one who does this but I traumdump to random ppl just to see their reaction in order to understand if what I experienced was really traumatic or I'm just a spoilt child in a grown up body who uses his pseudotrauma to excuse his spoilt-ness

this shit constantly messes w my head. because my mother often told me I made my "trauma" up just to make her look bad. I mean I don't know how others live. at least I don't starve. but is it normal or is it not? i don't understand because my mother constantly changes from affectionate to hateful and vise versa. she's always been like this and I never knew which one is her true form. I mean her actions just show me how she never wanted me and my sister at the first place because she doesn't even try to be supportive. both me and my sister noticed that she isn't able to actually get into the stuff we like. in fact I guess she wouldn't even be able to tell which colour is my favourite or answer some other basic question about me correctly. I mean she never tried to understand the stuff I liked and called it "stupid". I wasn't physically neglected tho. and idk if staying distant from your kids is neglect it's literally so questionable because alienation is all I've ever known, it seems normal. punishing me by taking the things I love away is 100% not normal tho, making me face a relative who's been abusive towards me both physically and mentally is not okay too

but the fact that my bio parents are not poor makes everything more complicated even. honestly I would give anything to have supportive parents even if we'd live poorly. the thing I understood as I aged was that in fact money bring emptiness. okay yes they can afford to buy us a console, a laptop, a private art college. but all they give me is distraction from the horrible reality stripped of any meaning because I don't have human bonds. I always stay distant. I can't let myself get attached. and videogames are a way out. but it's really not what I want. I mean. I listen to my friend's stories and she often tells me her family lacks money and I'm just. my parents never lacked money (esp for basic needs). does that make me invalid?

I escaped to this art college from a high school where I was bullied and got extremely paranoid amd dysphoric, tried to kms. in fact my mother sponsored me getting out of there and going to tjis art college. but in fact I wouldn't even end up in that high school in another country if they didn't press me for years so I felt an urge to run away as far as I can. they pressed me into choosing a profession that never felt right for me either way. told me that "artists don't earn money" when I said I wanted to be an animation student. is it really all them or am I unable to just be grateful because I'm too spoilt for it?

[unbecoming-unheard-undeserving]

Being in love and... I'm not sure if "mentally ill" is the right word, but let's say mentally ill since i don't know what else to use.

Back on track, being in love and mentally ill sucks so fucking much, wdym i can't love tjis person normally? Wdym a pit forms in my stomach and i feel like it's being clawed out from the inside when i think of that person a bit too much?

I literally feel sick, sick of myself, sick of this, never sick of them though.

Worst thing is that i can't even confess because of ✨circumstances✨so i'm just here being fucking silly about it.

[wingedbeings]

hiii theres so many things wrong in my brain she's so so damaged but in a funny way <3

[transmasc-wizard]

Writblr Intro 2: Electric Boogaloo

My name is Nico, my pronouns are he/him and it/its, and I'm a queer teen writer. I write mostly fantasy, with a dash of sci-fi and thriller.

Most of what I write is YA/teen, though I have ideas for other things (specifically middle grade & perhaps a NA story) that I may work on in the future.

I'm OK with adults following, but don't be creepy, and don't follow if your blog is specifically 18+.

This tumblr will be mostly writing content, along with some art, memes, social justice, and posts I just generally like. I also post writing advice, and my masterpost can be found here.

Some things: I am a queer inclusionist of all good-faith identities. I am autistic and am very passionate about disability activism, especially in regards to making writblr a more welcoming place for my fellow disabled & mentally ill people. I will not tolerate any sort of bigotry and am quick to block, though I will take questions in good faith and am glad to answer them.

about and fandoms

My Writing

[ID: a discord screenshot of something said by my friend, Mika. The sentence reads "tjis is so sick you are so twisted nciko". /end ID.]

I write mostly fantasy, often heavily featuring mental health, queerness, friendship, and morality. And as the lovely review above shows, I am not hesitant toward angst <3

Speaking of Mika, aka @strawberrystarcake: we run a short story event each month. I post a prompt, and then people write stories based on them. (I've written 2 so far.) The masterlist of all stories people have written for it (including me!) is here.

Now for my works-in-progress :D under the cut, for the sake of dashboards.

ACTIVE WIPS:

Gay Fairytale Series/GFS: This is a 5-book YA fantasy series that is a loose retelling of a few fairytales (mainly Cinderella). The books are, currently: Moonlit Blood, and... the other 4, lmao. I don't put titles online. (Summary for books 1 and 2 is below.)

Moonlit Blood, aka GFW1: When Angel Lavoie accidentally cons their way into having to do work, they must team up with four other dysfunctional criminals in order to crash a royal masquerade and steal the cage that houses the soul of a vengeful god-monster. Features themes of family, friendship, and self-worth. (intro)

GFS book 2, aka GFW2: Rowan never meant to be drawn into anything. But when, instead of dying like they were supposed to, Angel and their friends literally break magic, she doesn't really have a choice. Features themes of trust, betrayal, and doing the right thing.

The Rose Librarians: Eleanor finds a magic library in the middle of nowhere. It's all good at first, but when the library's secrets turn out to be darker than expected, she must team up with Charlie--the strange but knowing librarian--in order to keep herself alive. Features themes of depression, self worth, and coping mechanisms. (Intro.)

MOSTLY ACTIVE/SEMI-HIATUS WIPs (not currently being written, but are posted about semi-frequently):

Valarie Saintly is Totally Normal: Val saved the world 4 years ago. Now, she's running off with some sketchy new friends so she doesn't need to do it again. (Mack has just met this girl. She wants to use his car for her road trip. What could go wrong?) Urban fantasy, features themes of anxiety, pressure to be perfect, and self care. (Intro.)

The Intriguing Death of Thalia May/NT21: my NaNoWriMo 2021 project. Ace Acker has just been accepted into the best academy the country has to offer. But when people start disappearing and his ex-girlfriend's ghost comes back to yell at him about it, he realizes this will not be a normal senior year. (Intro.)

If you've read this far, that's very nice of you :D have a great day and drink some water!