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iloveyou-morethanthis · 6 years ago

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The Man of My Dreams

Word Count: 3,000

Rating: angst, mystery, eventual smut

Summary: A car accident steals four years of memory from a girl. Anyone in this circumstance would be surrounded by loved ones. But she's not. They've all abandoned her, or so she thinks? She's made new friends, and fallen in love again. But are they really new friends? Is it really a new love? Secrets, lies, deception all for the sake of protection. As her memories start to comeback she begins to recognize a familiar figure in her memories but before it all comes back she's in danger again. Will she survive long enough to uncover the secret in her own?

Dark.

Cold.

Quiet.

She awoke gasping for air.

Choking. Drowning?

That's how she always wakes up from them.

Dreams? Nightmares? Memories?

They don't happen as frequently now.

Once a month, maybe?

At least now they seem to guide her. As if they're trying to tell her something. She's no longer afraid of what they have to show her. The visions, as her therapist calls them, are her ‘suppressed memories’ trying to ‘resurface’. They always show her snippets and clips but never the full movie. Sometimes her mind plays reruns and she'll have the same dream for weeks. Sometimes they're new. Sometimes she'll remember them. Most of the time she doesn't. But there's one thing that's always the same.

Him.

She knows him.

Well she did, or did she?

“Maybe he’s your guide?” Her therapist would say.

Maybe he's my anchor. She thinks. He never takes me anywhere. He's always just....there

*ding*

The familiar sound of the front door rang through the coffee shop. At 6:30 in the morning the shop was usually buzzing, but it’s Saturday, even in the city, not many people are bustling around this early in the morning. She’s an exception of course, being assistant to the Head of Design for multi-million dollar fashion company meant that vacations and weekends mean nothing to her workload. This Saturday was no exception. The Fall line is to be released in one month, so her team is working overtime to prepare the finishing looks, prepping models and arranging last minute seating charts for the fashion show guests. Not to mention all the while preparing the looks books for next year’s summer and fall lines. Thankfully the Spring show is being handled by the second design team. Handling one season is hard enough, but getting three seasons in a row is unbearable. If fashion wasn’t something she loved she would’ve quit the first day of her internship, if you could call 72 work hours of stitch removal an internship. She still remembers soaking her hands in warm water the first weekend and crying to her brother about the witch she now calls her boss. He told her to quit if she hated it so much but she was determined to make it. She’s always wanted her own fashion line, and if getting it means she has to make deals with the devil, then show her the dotted line.

“Good Morning Katsumi.” The young man behind the counter greeted her.

“Good Morning Nini, and how come you never call me Sumi?” She returns his smile.

The man smirked, with a quick look behind him he leaned in close and spoke, “You know I’d call you that if it wasn’t for you know who.”

She peeked over his shoulder looking down the hallway. Just beyond the boxes of to-be-stocked coffee beans she could see his office. Jongin’s boss was mulling over some papers, with his silver rimmed glasses perched at the tip of his nose. He looks exhausted. His dark bangs falling into his face. He must have stayed up late last night only to return first thing this morning. She wanted nothing more than to walk behind the counter and run her fingers through his hair, to soothe and comfort the man.

“He works too hard,” Jongin says shaking her from her thoughts.

“Yeah, he does.” She agreed. Lifting her eyes to the office one last time she’s met with an empty desk. The man instead is standing in the doorway just behind Nini, looking right at her. She starts to stutter good morning but the air in her chest remains trapped. Words never breaking out. He's handsome. Gorgeous even. She's smitten. He's not nearly as tall or broad as Jongin, but still built, his muscles firm beneath his too tight dress shirts and dress pants (not that she was looking, but if she was she'd report a marvellous ass carved by the gods.) As perfect as his body was, it was his face that bewitched her. His doe eyes were a deep dark brown, so deep that when she looked into them she could see her secrets welling inside them. As if him looking at her could cause her to bare everything to him. His smile was contagious, his laugh just as precious. On the off chance she was graced with its beauty she felt happy for days. His smile was mostly gums and teeth, but boy was it the cutest thing she'd ever seen. She wanted nothing more that to see it on him always and to be the reason for that smile.

“Good morning Ma’am, is it your usual today.” The man said stepping from the doorway to the machines on Nini’s right.

“Actually sir I've already got it ready.” Nini said stepping to his left and handing over a large to go coffee and a warmed croissant in a small bag. Looking to his boss and back at Jongin she spoke a small thank you.

“Making me look bad,huh?” Minseok raised a brow in their direction.

“Oh please you're just making an excuse to not finish your work, a very pretty excuse if you ask me.” Nini quips, shooting a wink in Sumi direction. The heat in her cheeks rising quickly, while she silently wills it to disappear. An accidental glance towards Jongin’s boss shows she not the only one with tinted cheeks.

“So you're in awful early on a Saturday morning, even for you?” Minseok questions.

“Ugh tell me about it. Between closing the summer line and opening the fall one, yah girl gets no sleep.” She says using exaggerated hand motions. This brings a smile to both men's faces.

“Do they have you working Spring this coming year? Surely not Winter to finish out the year?” He questions, eyes full of concern.

“Thankfully no Spring. After the flower fiasco of 2017, I refuse to step within 10 feet of a Spring lookbook.” At that Jongin chuckles, apparently recalling her stories of the baby runways and mini flower floats. Her boss was lucky she actually liked children but that was more than she could say for the rest of her team.

“As for Winter I'll be joining the executive team as a designer. My accessory line was approved, so I won't have to plan the events for the season but just participate. It'll be nice, in a nerve wrecking kind of way.”

“Oh my god, Congratulations, Sumi!” Minseok expresses, noticing Sumi’s surprise he adds, “Really, I mean it. It's a big deal to have your line appear. Especially on the executive team. Your work must be amazing if you've only been with them for 3 years.”

She can feel her cheeks warming again at the praise. “Thank you. I'd like to think it's because I work hard, but my work is pretty amazing if I do say so myself.” She winks. Looking to her watch it reads 6:45am, she doesn't need to be in the office until 7:30 but not wanting to catch traffic she decides to say her goodbyes.

“Nini are you gonna be at the studio next weekend for Yixing’s classes?” She asks.

Jongin and Sumi met at Yixing's dance studio, not too far from the coffee shop. Even though they go to the studio for different reasons, Jongin to choreograph and Sumi to relax, they both love dance. That's what they built their friendship on, it's also how she found the coffee shop, and in turn Minseok. She'd been coming to this coffee shop for almost 2 years. Her and Nini meeting shortly prior, their friendship never extended past the studio and the coffee shop. She was okay with that. In the time she's been coming to the shop, she and Minseok had never exchanged anything more than a few pleasantries, it was love at first sight. Well from her sight.

“Yep, and guess who's gonna be recording his choreo?” Jongin says wiggling his eyebrows.

“No way!! Is this the same one you were working on in spring?! I'm so glad you finally finished. Does this mean he's gonna let you teach it? Oh please please teach it! I better feature in this video or we’re gonna fight.” She joked. Jongin worked hard on his choreos always honing his skills making sure each move was perfect and if anything felt off or just not quite right it never saw the light of day, that is until he found just what was missing.

“Promise. I teach first thing Saturday morning. I'm nervous, it's not like it's my first time teaching but I guess since the class is international it makes it a big deal.”

“You'll do great Nini. Don't worry about it. I'll be right there in the front row” She encourages. At that moment another customer walks through the door. “Well I should get going I will see you guys later.” She waves.

Minseok and Jongin laugh. “We'll see you tomorrow.” They chime.

“Heyyyyyy.” She faux pouts. “I have the day off tomorrow so I was gonna sleep in.”

“Mhmm sure,” Minseok taunts, as Jongin helps the new arrival. “So I'll just make your coffee for dine-in, maybe even later in the day? 8:30?”

She sighs, tapping a finger on her chin thoughtfully. “I suppose I do have some errands to run tomorrow. I guess spending the morning here wouldn't hurt.” She smiles. Minseok nods in acknowledgement and waves her out the door. With a quick wave from Nini she heads down the sidewalk towards her car.

At seven o'clock it's time to close up shop. He let Jongin go home early. Since he goes to school now he lets him pull doubles on weekends as to not disturb his class work. He always feels bad for him and tries to send him home to get some rest when the shop isn't busy. The kid works too hard. He's wiping down the last table when he hears the door open.

“We're closed.” He calls out to the customer.

“Ah, sorry about that. Good thing I'm not here for coffee,” the customer states.

Minseok's heard that voice before, and he's certainly not fond of it. It's arrogant, irritating, bitchy, pushy and too smooth. His voice sounds like it belongs to a seasoned salesman. The kind that sells you what you never needed, takes your last penny and you never realize it till you've already sold your soul. He's the devil.

“Well, to what do I owe the pleasure, Yuta.” Tucking the towel in his back pocket, he places the last chair on the table. He hates saying the young man's name, it always leaves a foul taste in his mouth.

“Shall we sit?” The younger asks motioning to a booth by the window. No doubt making the elder an easy target for whatever gunman the younger has stationed outside, should Minseok try anything. Which, sounds like a pleasing thought, but he's not in the mood to take a bullet over a good sock to the younger’s face. Minseok heads to the booth and takes a seat. He glances out the window for any visible signs of Yuta’s men, but it's all in vain. Even with his trained eye he could only guess the spots they're in. After all this is his territory, so Minseok is confident that even if he doesn't have eyes on Yuta’s men, then Seungcheol definitely does. He and Jongdae were opposed to him opening up the coffee shop complaining that it leaves him exposed and vulnerable. He's been known to live on the edge never worrying about consequences, that is, until that day. He always knew his risk-taking would get him hurt, maybe even kill him. He was ready for that, but he wasn’t ready when the consequences fell to someone he cared most about. He never expected that she would have to pay the price.

“I'm sure you know why I'm here.” Yuta smiles warmly. To those who don't know him they'd trust that smile in good faith, but Minseok knows that smile all too well, it sends cold chills down his spine.

“Actually, I'm not quite sure why you're here. As I recall, we settled our business months ago with no intentions of renegotiating.” Minseok said sternly. Minseok is almost 32 and has obtained, maintained and controlled most of Seoul’s underground for a decade, as well as outer lying cities. He was young like Yuta when he came up. He was arrogant pushed the boundaries and grew his territory with a relentless hunger and iron fist. Yuta has recently overtaken a smaller rival gang that originated in Minseok’s home town of Guri. The gang has always been a thorn in his foot, but he never had any desire or need to extinguish until Yuta appeared. The younger is like a starving leopard, his blood lust evident on his face. The younger man pushed an envelope across the table.

“I think this will reopen our negotiations.” His smile grew into something similar to the Cheshire Cat. The elder grabbed the manila and opened it. He splayed it's contents across the table in front of him.

There were pictures. Five freshly printed photos of her. Of Sumi. Each one he could tell was from different times of the year. The first was from last year around summer time she hadn't been coming to the shop for long at that point. The next photo was of her leaving her apartment that following winter, then again in early spring. Each picture leading up to today. It was her exiting her car from her office’s private parking garage.

He was fuming. Minseok is usually good at controlling his anger but once you've pressed his buttons he sees red. And right now Yuta’s blood was the red he sought after. He wants nothing more than to spill his blood across his freshly cleaned table.

How dare he bring her into this? How dare he even consider threatening her? Bringing someone innocent into this. She's done nothing and means nothing to him. What could he possibly—How does he even know? Does he know?

Looking up from the pictures into Yuta's eyes, he gets all the answers he was looking for. Yes, he plans to use her against him. Yes, he will do anything to get what he wants, even harming her. And yes, he does know.....exactly who she is.

“Ahh, so you do know who she is.” Yuta drawls. “I was under the impression my men were following a useless lead.” He chuckles. “But seeing the look on your face shows me I should've put more resources into this much sooner.” Smirking he interlocks his fingers and places his hands under his chin.

“So, what do you say? You give me the outer cities. I already have Guri, what about I give you the girl and you give me Suwon and Ansan.”

“That's bold. Even for you.”

“Well, how much does she mean to you?” His face darkens. “Besides, Suwon isn't much worth to you, it sits on your outer boundaries. What would you really be giving up? A few hundred thousand won? Besides, Ansan is your baby, that where you keep your arsenal isn't it?” The glint in his eyes are starting to grow into a wildfire. “The girl means nothing to me. But she means a lot to you, Ansan and your trading ports mean a lot to me, and I can't just stand by and watch you forsake them. So I propose a trade—”

“Not happening” he counters. “What you're gonna do, is walk back out that door you came in, get in you car and drive home. The next time you set foot in my territory is the last time you walk.” His whole demeanour darkens. He can see it even rattles Yuta, not enough to scare him but enough to catch him off guard. “That girl is off limits. You wanna throw her into the mix then you can consider yourself cut off. No more deals, no more supplies. If you want so badly to be a solo independent organization then prove it. But you just bit the hand that feeds you, and I put those dogs down, not kick them out. If it's a war you want then that's what you get, but you're undermanned and if you think your equipped to handle something of this magnitude then you're dumber than I thought. Now get the fuck out of my coffee shop.”

With that the younger man stands and exits, just as confident, if not more so, than when he came in. This is what he wanted. He came to strike a nerve, and that he did. Minseok doesn't care if he put if heart on his sleeve or let his emotions show, it's how he's always been and it's how he'll continue to be. He's never backed down from a fight, and he's not going to now. Yuta's messes with the wrong boss today, and he's gonna out that brat in his place, then put him out of his misery.

He grabs the photos in the envelope and locks up the shop. He exits through the backdoor into the the cool night air. Picking up the buzzing phone from his pocket he swipes to answer. “Yeah. I know.” Is all he says into the receiver before hanging up. He doesn't let himself think about anything the whole 30 minute ride to his night club deep in the heart of Seoul. He cherishes the silence knowing that it'll be his last of the calm be the storm. He may not get this again till he's rid himself of Yuta. Or until Yuta get rid of him.

He pulls his car to the secret entrance at the back of his club. Jongdae is already waiting for him. He didn't need to look at his best friend to know the look he carried on his face. It was one mixed with concern and disappointment. Jongdae is his right hand man. Best friend since childhood. When they started in this business Minseok was the muscle and he was the brains. Where Minseok can be hot headed, Jongdae was always ten steps ahead and had contingency plans for his contingency plans. All jobs Jongdae headed were bound for success, if anyone could get him out of this mess it would be him.

“Before you say it, let's find the mole so I can blow off some steam.” Minseok entered the building, he could feel the bass vibrating through the walls.

“I already know who it is, but you're not getting his name. We need him, for now at least,” Jongdae said taking the lead and heading up a stairwell to the office.

“Jongdae—” Minseok wanted to say more but was cut off.

“Look Minnie the first course of action is contacting Kyungsoo. He needs to know.”

“He'll kill me.”

“Then we agree on something.”

Cont.

#exo #kyungsoo #kyungsoo angst #kaisoo #xiumin #jongdae #chen #minseok #jongin #yixing #chanyeol #baekhyun #chaptered fic

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jeontaeh · 4 years ago

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THIRTY FOUR³⁴

✫ ✬ ✭ ✬ ✫

Taehyung rushed down the hallways of the ship and found Lavender sitting beside Jimin by the engine room. She was crying, face burrowed in her hands as she let out sobs. Jimin had a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Hey- he- he didn't mean to do that. It was just a dumb prank, Lav. I'm sure of it," Jimin said softly, and Lav sniffled, hands coming down, light purple tears rushing down her eyes.

"B-but it was so mean a-and... made me look so dumb," Lav said in a small voice, and Taehyung walked up to her, gulping.

"I-I'm so sorry, Lav," Taehyung stammered. "I'm really really sorry. I swear Jungkook thought he was being funny. He clearly wasn't. He can be a real asshole sometimes," Taehyung said. Jimin frowned.

"Um- no. Lav, Jungkook's nice. He's just going through some stuff right now-" Jimin started, and Taehyung scoffed.

"He's always going through stuff," Taehyung mumbled.

"Okay, and?? You've been a real jackass to him lately too if you haven't noticed," Jimin snapped, and Taehyung rose his eyebrow.

"That doesn't give him the right to do that shit to Lav!" Taehyung snapped back, and Jimin stilled. He saw Lav looking up at Taehyung with glimmering eyes and hummed.

"Okay. I'm gonna go. See you guys tomorrow morning." Jimin mumbled, turning around to walk away.

"Hey- I-I'm so sorry about that," Taehyung whispered, crouching down to face Lav, who was sitting on the floor.

"Don't worry about it. I feel bad for making you eat those things," Lav giggled, and Jimin heard Taehyung let out a soft chuckle. "But- i-is Jungkook okay? Jimin said he was going through things... a-and that you've been mean to him?"

Taehyung didn't reply in time, so Lav continued. "He said you two were dating... is that true?"

"He said what?" Taehyung let out, and Lav nodded. "Yeah. He said you guys have been together for a long time. Why didn't you tell me, Tae?"

Taehyung's throat went dry, and his hands balled into fists. "L-Lav... he's lying. We- we were together for a really short time I swear-"

"It's okay," Lav said softly. "I-I just thought you'd tell me this stuff..."

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Don't get mad at me, please." Taehyung said, and Lav giggled.

"Oh, silly! Have I ever gotten mad? But no- I'm just a little tired! It's been a long day. I'm gonna go sleep in Mr. Yoongi's room. He's a very nice man. Goodnight." Lav said, kissing Taehyung lightly on the cheek, and then walking away.

The moment Taehyung turned around, Jimin was standing there, eyebrows furrowed. "What're you hiding?"

"Nothing."

"Are you and Lav dating?"

Taehyung didn't respond.

"What happened on that ship, Kim?" Jimin snapped, and Taehyung kept quiet.

"Fine. Be that way. But I know you're hiding something. And I also know that you owe Lav something and that's why you're acting like that," Jimin whispered angrily, probing Taehyung's chest with his finger, and then turning around to walk away. Taehyung just gulped nervously.

Jimin walked away, and Taehyung took a deep breath and walked towards the rooms. His eyes widened when he saw Jin walking out of his room, holding Jungkook bridal style. Jungkook seemed to be asleep in his arms, and Taehyung's breath hitched.

He saw Yoongi walk up to Jin. "Put him in the infirmary for now. You seem tired, I'll look at him tomorrow morning." Yoongi said in a hushed tone, and Jin nodded. Both looked exhausted.

"What happened?" Taehyung asked in confusion, and Yoongi looked at him, and Taehyung almost saw a look of annoyance.

"Right. As if you care," Yoongi snickered, looking back at Jungkook. Jin sighed.

"He fell asleep on the floor in his room, and he's really fatigued and just- he-he's not doing too well," Jin explained the best that he could, and Taehyung walked up to him.

"You look really tired. Let me carry him," Taehyung said, and Jin took a step back, almost protective.

"No offense, Tae, but I think you should keep your distance," Jin said, and Yoongi hummed.

"Yeah. God forbid he do something slightly dumb and you shout at him so badly that he get another panic attack. Oh, wait," Yoongi grumbled, and Taehyung looked at him.

"He- he got a panic attack?" Taehyung asked, and Jin nodded. "Something like it. I know you were mad at him, and what he did wasn't right- but please don't yell at him that much that it makes him not breathe." Jin said, sounding a little irked himself.

"I didn't realize," Taehyung said dryly, and Yoongi looked annoyed, so he just turned around and went back to his and Hoseok's room. "Jin, let me take him to the infirmary. You need sleep."

Jin looked hesitant, and Jungkook looked uncomfortable in his arms, so Jin sighed. "Fine, here, take him. Put him in the infirmary." Jin said, and Taehyung rushed up to him and took Jungkook in his arms.

Jungkook curled up in an instant, hands reaching Taehyung's shirt subconsciously and head tucked into the crevice of Taehyung's neck. Taehyung nodded to Jin, who looked at them in a melancholy way.

Taehyung carried Jungkook through the hallways and through the control room into the medical room. Taehyung walked into the dark room and placed Jungkook onto the bed, but the moment he did, Jungkook drifted a little in his sleep and stayed sitting upright. He opened his eyes.

"T-Taehyungie," Jungkook squeaked ever so softly, and Taehyung's darkened eyes loomed over him, hands on his waist.

Taehyung was quiet, so Jungkook reached forward, holding his shoulders tightly and resting his head on his shoulder. "I-I'm sorry," Jungkook let out softly, and Taehyung gulped, hands leaving Jungkook's waist. "I'm sorry I d-did that- I'm sorry I was mean to you about the soulmate thing, I-I'm sorry about being mean to Lav," Jungkook squeaked, and then looked up at him.

"Please, T-Tae," Jungkook whispered, eyes big. "W-why're you being s-so... mean to me?"

Taehyung was silent. Jungkook looked sad with the lack of response. "Say s-something, please Taehyungie-"

"Don't do this, Jungkook. You need to sleep." Taehyung whispered, and Jungkook frowned a little, and fuck, his big doll-like eyes stared up at Taehyung like he was his whole world.

"I-I don't know what happened," Jungkook said, and then pulled away to look down. "Y-you were so nice. So kind, so... so loving." Jungkook whispered, feeling pathetic, voice barely coherent. "A-and then- and t-then she came around and you-" Jungkook started, looking at him. "You changed."

"Jungkook-"

"I-I'm sorry I couldn't be enough. I'm sorry- b-but Taehyungie-" Jungkook squeaked, grabbing his shirt. "It h-hurts so much, Tae," Jungkook whispered. "I c-couldn't breathe- I n-need you to l-love me b-back- please-"

"Jungkook stop," Taehyung snapped, pushing him away. Jungkook's eyes widened. "Just- stop it. I can't- I can't do this." Taehyung said, and Jungkook looked down, fingers clasping around the bedsheet.

"Why?" Jungkook let out faintly, voice wavering. "W-why did you c-call me baby when you first saw me in the ship for the f-first time?"

Taehyung froze. His mouth went dry.

No answer. Jungkook turned around, lying down on the bed and facing the other way. The pain returned. The pain he got every time Taehyung neglected him or did something bad to him. The pain which was interlinked with them being soulmates.

"J-Jungkook-" Taehyung stammered, and then gulped, seeing the boy's body shaking lightly. "You're- you're cold." He said, and Jungkook continued looking the other way. "Here-" Taehyung said softly, and then unbuttoned his shirt and laid it across Jungkook.

Jungkook felt his pain lessen at the gesture, in fact, he felt his body relax a little. "Goodnight," Taehyung said, and then walked out of the room, Jungkook drifted off to sleep.

✭

"Something's up with Taehyung."

"I agree. Did y'all SEE that fuckin' green shirt he was wearing the other day? I mean, what was that about?"

"No Hoseok- I mean, something bad is up with him. He's been so rude to Jungkook, been acting strange with Lav, and, on top of of that, he wore that ugly green shirt the other day, and phew, what the fuck was that-" Jimin said, and everyone nodded in agreement.

"C'mon people. Let's lay down some theories. Taehyung and Lav are dating." Yoongi said.

"But Taehyung called Jungkook baby when he first saw him on the ship. Shit don't add up..." Jin trailed and then gasped. "Lav's a weird alien and she's CONTROLLING Tae-"

"Oh my god, no. I agree with Yoongi. I think Lav and Tae are together. He's acting really weird around her and really seems to care about her." Namjoon said.

"Or- or, get this; Lav's secretly evil and she's MANIPULATING Taehyung into hating Jungkook-"

"Jin where the fuck are you getting these weird ass theories from? Damn- anyways. We need to do something." Jimin said.

"Well, you guys are in luck," Hoseok said, and then took out a little button shaped chip. "Because I just made a lie detector last night when I was bored."

"Ugh, his mind," Yoongi said, kissing Hoseok on the cheek.

"Are you suggesting we put this on Lavender to find out what her intentions are and to see what evil bitchy shit she's trying to pull-"

"Lavender's not evil! For fuck's sake! She's the nicest person I've ever met like ever." Jimin said, and then looked at Hoseok. "That said- we're gonna put that chip on Taehyung, tie him down, and then ask him questions."

"Is this fair? Like... is this really our place? It's not really our business..."

"Shut up boring bitch. Yes, it's our business when it's fucking up the atmosphere of the ship! Everyone's being so aggy!" Jimin snapped, and then the door of the dining room opened and Lavender walked in.

"Hello... does anyone know where Taehyung is?" Lav asked softly, and Jimin was about to answer, but Jin grabbed his arm.

"Don't tell her, what if she tries to murder him, and-"

"He's probably in the control room," Jimin said, and Lav smiled. "Thank you Park Jimin!" She said brightly and then turned around to walk away.

"Nope. Okay, I see what Jin means. She's weird." Yoongi said, and Jimin frowned. "What?!"

"No one's that nice." Yoongi said, and Jin high fived him.

"You guys are just mean and rude and should drown as ASAP as possible." Jimin snapped, and Namjoon rose his eyebrow. "Um, that doesn't make sense-"

"Shut up. Okay, let's gather Taehyung and Jungkook in this room in like five minutes and fucking deck this shit out." Jimin said, and Hoseok sighed.

"What does that mean please speak normally for once."

"We'll bring Taehyung and Jungkook into this room and put the chip on Taehyung and then fucking deck this shit out-"

"No-"

"Okay! Go!" Jimin said, and then ran out of the room.

✭

"Come with me."

"No."

"Stop being stubborn."

"I don't even know you!"

"Shut up, Jungkook." Namjoon snapped, and then grabbed Jungkook and lifted him up, throwing him over his shoulder.

Jungkook let out a weird sound. Namjoon stopped in his steps. "Did you just moan?"

"Ignore it please."

Namjoon rolled his eyes and walked to the lounge. Jungkook hit Namjoon's back, whining. "Where are we going? Is- is this a surprise party for me? Oh my god- wait, is it? EEK! Wait! Don't tell me! Or- wait do tell me, or-"

"Shut up, Jungkook. It's not a surprise party." Namjoon snapped, slapping Jungkook's ass.

Jungkook frowned. He felt himself get carried into the lounge and then dropped to the floor. Jungkook shoved Namjoon jokingly and then turned around and halted. Taehyung was stood there talking to Yoongi.

"O-oh-" Jungkook let out, and Taehyung turned to look at him, along with the other guys. "I-I'm sorry-" Jungkook started, taking a step back. "N-Namjoon brought me here, Taehyung. I swear." Jungkook said quickly, and Yoongi frowned.

"What?" Yoongi asked, and Jungkook looked down, fumbling with his fingers. "Taehyung told me to stay away from him..."

Yoongi looked at Taehyung in annoyance, and Taehyung sighed. "I didn't- it doesn't matter," Taehyung mumbled, and then turned and walked towards the window. Jungkook looked at Taehyung longingly and sat down on the couch, confused.

"What's going on? Is this a surprise party for me? Oh my god! Is it? Wait- don't tell me-" Lav's voice came, and Jimin dragged her into the room and then closed the door from behind. Everyone was in the lounge now.

"Let's get it," Jin said, and Taehyung, Jungkook, and Lav looked confused.

"Sit down, Tae," Jimin said, and Taehyung rose his eyebrow. "Okay..." Taehyung trailed suspiciously and then sat down on the wooden chair in the middle of the room. The moment he did, Hoseok grabbed his arms from behind and tied him to the chair.

"Woah! Hey- what the fuck-"

"The chip! Quickly!" Hoseok said, and Namjoon rushed forward and put it on Taehyung's forehead. Taehyung frowned. "What the fuck is going on?!"

Lav giggled. "Oh my gosh, what's this fun game?" Lav asked excitedly, and Jin and Yoongi looked at each other. Evil, Jin mouthed, and Yoongi nodded.

Taehyung sat there angrily, tied to the chair. "What is this? Please don't be what I think it is.." Taehyung trailed, and Jungkook looked confused too.

"It is what you think it is, Kim Taehyung. Your doom." Yoongi said, and Taehyung looked down.

"Fine. But if you're going to gangbang me, I just have to say one thing. Can Jin go first-"

"What the fuck? What? No- we- we've put you on a lie detector. Why's that the first thing that came to your head??" Jimin asked, and Taehyung looked up, eyes widened.

"And why the fuck am I first?" Jin asked a little horrified.

"Lie detector?!" Taehyung shouted, and Yoongi sat down next to him, wearing a fedora.

"What's your name?" Yoongi asked.

"Your mom." Taehyung snapped, and then his entire body turned blue. "He's lying," Hoseok said, and everyone's eyes widened.

"What the fuck kind of machine- okay. Um. Where's your mother from?" Jimin asked, and Taehyung looked at his blue arms and gulped.

"Jupiter," Taehyung said, and his body turned back to his tan skin color.

"If he lies, he turns blue. If he tells the truth, he stays normal."

"Got it. Taehyung! Are Hoseok's shoes ugly?" Namjoon asked.

"No."

Taehyung turned blue.

"Yo what the fuck," Hoseok said sadly, and Jimin giggled.

"Yes! This is great. Okay, Jungkook, Lav, come here." Jimin said, and Lav bounced over to them, while Jungkook rushed up to him quickly as well, both looking with big eyes.

"This isn't any of your business, Park. Stop-" Taehyung started, and Jimin grinned at him.

"Taehyung, are you dating Lavender?" Jimin asked, and Jungkook gulped, and Taehyung licked his drying lips.

"No," Taehyung said, he turned back to normal skin tone. Lavender looked confused.

"Do you like Lavender? More than friends?" Jin asked, and Taehyung looked a little annoyed, a little upset.

"I'm not answering," Taehyung mumbled tight-lipped. Jungkook's heart faltered.

"Do you like Lav-"

"I'm not answering!"

"Taehyung, would you date Lavender?" Jimin asked loudly, and Taehyung looked at him with annoyance.

"Yes! Yes, I would!" Taehyung snapped in annoyance, and Jungkook's breath hitched.

Taehyung turned blue.

"Oh," Lavender let out, and Taehyung gulped. He looked at his skin and gulped.

"Tae. Did something bad happen on that ship?" Namjoon asked, and Taehyung shook his head.

"Use words," Hoseok said, and Taehyung gulped.

"No." He said. He remained blue.

"Don't lie, Tae. Did something bad happen on that ship?"

"Yes. Something really bad happened on the ship. Why don't you tell them, Taehyungie?" Lavender asked and the boys all looked at her. Taehyung shook his head.

"Don't, Lav," Taehyung said, and Lavender frowned. Taehyung saw her frowning for the first time.

"If you don't tell them then I will!" Lavender humphed, stomping her foot. She turned to face the boys. "Taehyung and I met after 3 days of him being captured. They threw us into the same jail cell." Lavender explained, and the boys nodded. "He was sick."

"Sick?" Jungkook asked, and Taehyung looked down. Lavender nodded. "Very very sick. He looked pale, his lips were turning silver. He looked terrible. I asked him what's wrong," Lavender said, and the boys nodded. Taehyung shook his head.

"Lav don't, seriously-"

"He said he had a soulmate," Lav said, and Jungkook's ears perked up, eyes growing big. "He said there was someone who he was so deeply in love with, being so far away from them was killing him," Lav said, and Taehyung continued looking down, facial expression unreadable.

Jungkook looked at Taehyung. "He said he didn't know if his soulmate was dead or alive. He said he didn't know if he'd ever see his soulmate again."

"He said every day, every hour, every second he went without his soulmate killed him from the inside. Until the 8th day." Lav said, and then gulped. "Until he was so close to death, he couldn't breathe, couldn't speak, couldn't see."

Taehyung had tears in his eyes, looking away. "He was going to die. I knew it." Lav said, and then put her hand on Taehyung's shoulders. "Thankfully, the women on my planet secrete special tears which heal people. So I cried until all my tears were on Taehyung, and I healed him."

"Y-you healed him?" Jimin asked in a soft voice, and Lav nodded, looking at him.

"Yeah. I saved him from dying."

"So I owe her." Taehyung let out, voice raspy. The boys looked at him. "S-she got sick after saving me. I owe her so much- a-and-" Taehyung trailed, sniffling. "I t-thought Lav had feelings for me... so I thought it would just be rude if I didn't return those feelings."

Lav's eyes softened, and she looked down. "Y-you didn't have to do that, Tae," Lav said softly, sounding a little... upset?

"Why were you so mean to me?" Jungkook asked finally, his voice sounding weak, coming out from behind. Taehyung looked up at him.

"B-because the only way I could get the pain to go away was if I didn't think of you. If I didn't talk about you. If I pretended you never existed in the first place," Taehyung said, and Jungkook looked close to tears. "I-I d-didn't think I'd e-ever get to see you guys again. I t-thought... I thought I'd never get to-"

Jungkook walked closer to him. "So you-" Jungkook started, reaching down and cupping his hands on Taehyung's face. "-y-you started distancing yourself from me so the pain wouldn't come back?"

"I-I almost mastered it," Taehyung said weakly, looking up at him. "I almost mastered having no pain and pretending you weren't there. B-but- seeing you again that day on the ship," Taehyung said, voice soft, faint. "I j-just couldn't help," Taehyung said, and Jungkook reached down until he was practically on Taehyung's lap, their faces so close, their lips so close.

"So you-" Jungkook said again, tears rising in his eyes. "D-do you love me?"

Taehyung didn't answer, and Jungkook reached forward, lips tracing Taehyung's cheek. "D-do you still love me? Or you don't feel t-that anymore?"

Taehyung looked up at him, and let out a small smile, a weak smile. "I-" Taehyung started, and tried pulling at his arms from the bound, wanting to put his hands on Jungkook. "I-I love you so much,"

Jungkook pressed their lips together. The blue faded away from Taehyung, completely normal, and their lips moved fluidly, moved like waves on water, like the earth orbiting around the sun, their lips worked perfectly together. Like nature designed for it to work perfectly.

Jungkook kissed him hard, gripping his cheeks, tears running down his face. Taehyung kissed him back, needy, his breath short as his heart pace increased. Jungkook pulled away for a second, their noses brushing against each other. "Y-you w-were so mean,"

"I-I know," Taehyung said, kissing Jungkook's cheek. "I k-know baby, I'm so sorry,"

Jungkook began kissing him again, and then they heard a sniffle, and then stopped kissing, turning around.

The boys were all crying, while Lav was smiling really wide. Yoongi looked at Hoseok, kissing him on the cheek. "I love you," Yoongi whispered, and Hoseok smiled. "I know."

Jin put his arms around Namjoon, a wordless gesture, but Namjoon kissed his forehead, looking at him deeply.

Jimin sighed, putting his hand on his heart. Jungkook and Taehyung giggled, but then Lav looked at Jimin. "Jimin?" Lav said, and Jimin looked at her. "Yeah?"

"Thanks for b-being so nice to me," Lav said, and Jimin smiled. "No problem-"

Lav couldn't help it. She reached forward and pressed her and Jimin's lips together. The boys all gasped, and Jimin's eyes widened.

"Holy shit!" Jungkook let out, and Taehyung's mouth fell open.

Jimin looked really confused as Lav kissed him, but then she pulled away and looked at him with big eyes.

"Oh," Jimin said, and Lav gulped. "I-I'm sorry," Lav whispered, and Jimin gulped. Lav turned around. "I-I shouldn't have. That was so stupid of me, I-I just-"

Jimin grabbed her arm and spun her around, pulled her in, put his hands on her waist and pressed their lips together. This caused the boys to gasp even louder.

"What?!" Jin shouted, and Jungkook's mouth was as big as an orange.

Jimin pulled away from Lav, and Lav gulped, her eyes big. Jimin gulped. "Let's go outside." He said.

"Yeah, okay," Lav said, and then they both ran outside.

"W-what the fuck just happened..." Taehyung trailed, and Jungkook started giggling, putting his head on Taehyung's shoulder.

"I don't know, b-but I'm really happy," Jungkook whispered, and Taehyung smiled.

"Yeah. Me too. But I still have my arms tied together, so-" Taehyung said, but Jin grabbed Taehyung by the hair.

"Wait. Is Lav evil?" Jin asked, and Taehyung sighed.

"No. And it's kind of dumb how you guys just judged her without even knowing her just because she came between me and Jungkook," Taehyung mumbled, and Jungkook kissed Taehyung's cheek.

"Well, just get your restrains off, and maybe you can put 'em on me, yeah?" Jungkook whispered, and Taehyung blushed blue.

"Oh fuck yeah," Taehyung whispered back, and Jungkook started giggling.

✫ ✬ ✭ ✬ ✫

https://jeontaeh.tumblr.com/post/647229875667795968/thirty-five%C2%B3%E2%81%B5

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cuteandtwisted · 7 years ago

Text

Awkward word vomit alert. Had to get this out of my chest.

Things have been weird lately at work and I kind of wanted to write about it somewhere so here goes nothing. I’m not easily impressionable and/or impressed. I don’t blush around senior people and managers. I’m kind of confident and relaxed on the job and it kind of got me where I am today. A recruiter once told me that with my personality, I could get any job I wanted as long as I got to meet the person face to face. It was kind of flattering and kind of scary because I happen to have skills as well, very technical skills. But anyways. I didn’t want to be reduced to a girl who giggles in interviews. So I start my job knowing that I could be working anywhere. And nobody really intimidates me except for this one manager who isn’t even on my team. He was kind of a legend and everyone kind of feared him. I wasn’t sure I feared him because he always smiled at me in a goofy way, almost. And after a little while I realized that I simply admired him and his intellect and his control. In meetings, he was ruthless and relentless and simply brilliant, and it took me so much self-control not to bring both hands to my face and swoon. Intellect does it for me. It always has. And the thing about me is that I always want to be the best and rarely look up to anyone cause I’m a condescending bitch. But this man. This man I look up to. The way he’s so quiet and observant and could command the room without bullshitting his way there or raising his voice at all. He barely networks too, and never tries to kiss anyone’s ass which I find remarkable especially in my domain and workplace where everyone is just trying to be liked by everyone. I can’t for the life of me pretend to be someone I’m not for the sake of pleasing senior management. A girl who started around the same time as me does it all the time. And I can’t. She’s competent and really great at her job but she irks me so damn much, always trying to step on my toes but with a smile on her face. This man didn’t seem to be phased by her bullshit though. He liked me and my work ethic better even if I showed up in jeans and with bags under my eyes every day. Anyways. So this man ends up on one of my projects and it makes me nervous and I’m never nervous. I don’t want to disappoint him and I don’t want to be roasted by him. So I’m nervous. Someone stops by my desk to tell me that he was impressed by my work ethic and I blush like an idiot. Again, compliment my intellect and I’m gone. I’m a vain validation seeking idiot like that. So anyways, he’s in my meetings and he never roasts me. And later on when I’m relaxed enough around him, I joke about it and ask why. He answers that there’s nothing to roast. That my work is impeccable and that I make more sense than 99% of the floor. I blush again and I blabber and I’m a mess and I feel inadequate so I leave. Now don’t get me wrong. I am not attracted to this man. I am not in love with him. I’m in love with the me he thinks I am. And it’s too much. He’s married and he has kids and i barely walk by his office anymore. It’s too weird. I get called to an office one day with him and my actual boss, and I’m worried for a second that they found my ao3 account and finally figured out why I look like a zombie in the morning. They didn’t. There’s this big project everyone’s fighting over across our floor and it’s mine now. I can’t really believe it, but it’s true. They’re trusting a newbie with this big thing and my ego is about to burst. I’m so unbelievably happy and humbled. He stops by my desk and tells me that people will hate me for landing the project but that I shouldn’t let it get to me. “You deserve this.” He says. And I blush. Then I get to work. And he’s right. People hate me a little bit. The girl who started around me smiles wider at me, and it’s so fucking weird. I can tell that she hates me and I kind of like it. A week later, we’re at a happy hour event and he’s a bit drunk, his cheeks flushed. I’m dying inside. He tells me that he’s my biggest fan and that I remind him of himself. “You’re not full of shit. You’re smart. Your brain is structured like mine.” I’m half in love with his brain, so this is the highest compliment. I can’t even breathe. Trump happens and I have issues with my visa and this man and my boss go out of their way to make sure I keep my job and stay in the country. And honestly I've never felt so valued in my life. This is it. Anyways. Things are good and I start talking about this man to people around me. My friends, my parents, yada yada. My dad is shocked that I’m looking up to a man because he thinks feminists want to burn all men, and my mom is trying to figure out if I’m in love which is fucking stupid but anyways. A few weeks later, he quits and I’m devastated. He’s leaving in three months though for a smooth transition. He’s too vital. What the fuck, I almost yell in the middle of the team announcements. You know. He’s my mentor. He’s my biggest cheerleader. What am I gonna do without him here? He’s the only person I relate to here. I decide to stop being a child and go see him in his office the next day to congratulate him on his new job. He tells me he doesn’t have one. He’ll figure it out later. He just wants to take some time off to hang out with his kids and his wife more. My ovaries do a thing. It’s adorable. My dad never took time off from work to hang out with me. I almost have heart eyes. I really admire this man. Whatever. We chat a bit about or projects then he tells me that he’ll miss working with me and that I’m Incredible. I die again. Inside mostly because I have an amazing poker face. But I die nonetheless. This is the closest to infatuation I’ve been in ages. It feels so damn good. He says he’s my biggest fan, that I’ll have a long and successful career, and that he’ll keep checking in on me. It’s all just so good for my ego and stuff. I don’t even know how to explain it. But i almost feel my self-esteem getting boosted. Anyways, i leave his office with a grin and a blush high up my cheeks. I’m his biggest fan, too, I joke. But it’s not a joke.

The next day I find out he’s actually getting fired and that he’s not quitting. He slept with the girl who started around the same time I did. The one who wears heels and designer dresses and who asked me why I dress up like a lesbian on my first month, and then why i dress up like i’m going to a funeral the following ones. I hated her, but my empathetic pathetic self always rooted for her. I don’t know. I have a thing for female characters with complex bitchy personalities. Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Yada yada. But she’s not a character. She’s a real person who slept with my favorite person in the world. My biggest fan. My self-esteem booster.

I’m honestly fucking crushed. I don’t even know how to react. I’m supposed to keep this to myself and not act differently towards either of them. And I do. I follow rules and instructions like that. I’m nice and dumb like that. But deep down, I’m crushed and feeling betrayed and it kind of sucks. Because I’m questioning every single thing now. It’s awful. Did he ever mean what he said to me? I mean he lied to my face about wanting to spend time with his wife and kids. So probably. Did he just want to get in my pants too? Probably not. I rarely dress up like a “lady”. I’m always in sneakers, always exhausted. I’m not skinny. I don’t have perfect long legs. I’m like 5 feet tall. Anyways. My self-esteem takes a hit and i feel like shit for caring about this when i could be caring about other things. I almost hate myself because it sounds like I’m jealous of her, like I wanted him to see me like that. I didn’t. I don’t. I’m confused and I space out at work. I don’t even know how I feel anymore and I’m distracted and jittery. I no longer think I’m a boss ass bitch. I’m just kind of sad and I feel betrayed and down, down, down.

Then I hear about how this isn’t the first time this has happened. About how 3 people filed sexual harassment reports against him. I’m dumbfounded. My jaw is on the floor. I can’t believe it. My skin is crawling. I want to cry. The man I looked up to. The man I related to. Did she file a report? No. she denied it apparently. Some people think she’s in love with him. I want to disappear.

People start talking shit about her, calling her names when she’s not around and when alcohol is involved. And I step up, defending her like my life depends on it. If there’s one thing I hate, it’s when dudes gather around and call some girl a “whore”. I hate it. And I’m right there. Dammit. I start feeling bad for her. Everything crumbles around her and I start hating him with all my heart. She’s not getting fired because she was wasted and it all happened in the office and someone else reported it. My heart breaks for her but she insists that nothing happened.

Most people at the company are convinced she seduced him and that she wanted it. She has a reputation throwing herself on men quite literally whenever she drank. I personally had to snatch her away from a few and carry her to her apartment once. Alcohol is not her friend but she just wants affection. I can tell. She curled around me in an uber once, completely trashed, her cheek on my bare shoulder, and I felt something. I hate myself. Anyways, she must be feeling the control slip away from her, because she makes sure to make little passive aggressive comments to me every day. Something about me being overworked and how she’s worried they’re making me inefficient. Something about me drinking Coke at lunch and how it’s not healthy. Something about how I lost weight. “Are you exercising?” Fuck. I loathe her. But I also love her and I want to protect her. I don’t understand my brain.

The Weinstein story breaks and I’m in my feelings all week. I read all testimonies and my heart is in my throat. It kills me in ways I didn’t know I could still be killed. I take a day off from work. I’ve never taken a day off from work.

He finds me in the pantry one morning and asks me why I don’t talk to him anymore. I shudder. My body just does this thing. It’s funny, but I fear him now. Like actually fear him. He’s terrifying to me now. Because I was half in love with him. And he’s the kind of person who will abuse you and you won’t even know it. He can convince you that you wanted it because he’s charming and smart and actually attractive. I hate him. I can’t look into his eyes. He notices. “You know,” is all he says. I nod and he leaves and that’s it.

I don’t think he’s a monster but maybe he is. Who knows. I’ve been doubting myself for weeks now because I realized I got all the validation I actually valued through him. And this has never happened to me before. Doubting myself like this. I realized that this man actually managed to break my self-esteem and to make dependent on his praise and validation. Like a dog. He had me on a leash. But I’m getting over it. I earned every bit of praise I got. I know it.

It’s funny how people never stop surprising you. I thought I could read people pretty well and I’m mostly right because I observe and listen. But this man was the first man I allowed myself to idolize, to put on a pedestal so to speak. My experiences with men have always been jarring in a way, and all of this made me realize that I’ve been projecting internalized misogyny. I wore sneakers and jeans to work not necessarily because I feel more comfortable in them, but because i somehow convinced myself that it made me superior to the girls who wore tight dresses and heels. Because I somehow convinced myself that I would get more respect this way and that I wouldn’t be sexualized and objectified. Goddammit. fuck me honestly. I was so shocked when I realized how backwards my thinking was. I love wearing tight dresses and heels. I fucking love it. I was just too busy blaming myself and justifying powerful men’s disgusting behavior. I was justifying sexual harassment and assault. Me! Someone who’s had a front row seat to the evils of human nature! What the hell.

I’m typing this cross-legged in my favorite black dress and my favorite pair of heels. I don’t dress like this all the time because sometimes I just wanna be in jeans. I’m working with the girl I both hate and love on something we have to deliver soon. She keeps rambling in her high pitched voice and I hate it. She’s trying very hard to convince me that she’s had a wonderful day. And although I know it’s a lie, I smile at her and pretend to be listening. I see the pain in her eyes. I really do. And i wonder what the hell she’s still doing here when everyone’s judging her so hard. I admire her, kinda. I don’t know. I both hate and love her.

She will never be my friend but I almost want to be hers. Because she might not realize it yet, but she’s been used and abused. And I want to be there for her when she realizes that if she ever does.

This word vomit started out like a love story gone wrong but it’s not. It’s a love story gone right. I’m no longer in love with the me he thought I was. I’m just in love with the me I know I can be. And you should be, too. People say I’m too naive and empathetic and that I haven’t seen enough “dark shit”. But i have. Oh god I have. My heart was torn right out of my chest and I’ve been so hurt, so incredibly hurt and abused. But I don’t want it to be my story. Sometimes “dark shit” just makes you kinder.

This isn’t my #MeToo story but I still wanted to get it out of my chest.

So yeah. Me, too. And her, too. And you, too. Stay strong, my darling 💛

#Personal #weinstein #tw #ignore this

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