#I’ve had both traditional and newer age therapists for DID but I prefer my own specified language

[nettles-vent]

Attempt to explain my internal world

The personalities: me, Billy. Dog, Lavendar, William Oliver Michael, Nate, Raven.

Means of communication: The Scoreboard. (Mental picture of a large whiteboard, presumably infinitely expanding with new additions) Notes are written down by various people when fronting when information must be shared in order to function.

Example: “talked to X at 2:30, agreed to help move house on Nov 30th. Pick up meds.”

Level of detail varies. Sometimes information is conveyed via pictures, sometimes tastes due to lexical–gustatory synesthesia. Only Raven doesn’t convey information.

I, Billy, can only speak to my experience with The Shades . Others may have the same or separate ones, I don’t know. The best way I can explain them is weathers that pass over my cognition. For the most part I voluntarily call them. The clearest ones are Silver and Porcelain. (Not personalities, as they don’t have individuality, amnesic barriers or difference from me. They are weathers I experience, like how a lake might experience frost.)

Silver is a weather, or shade, of extreme pragmatism and logic. Porcelain is a shade of deeply depersonalizing derealization. I don’t experience any others as strong or notable, though there are small ones that come and go.

There is way more but this is just what is easiest to put down in writing.