#I’ve gone on record saying craig mazin will take the source material of tlou

[scootkiddo]

it’s so much worse. the way ellie tells joel to get up and he tries. the way abby seeps the pointed end of the club into his neck. the way the wlf members don’t even bother knocking ellie out because she is already so emotionally paralyzed by grief she can’t even so much as stand.

but more than anything else it’s crawling to him. all she can muster is crawling with nothing but her arms and cuddling into joel with her whole person. her face buried into the man’s which will forever be the last memory of him. it’s like watching a child seeking the safety of a parent who can’t protect them anymore. this isn’t just the death of a protector. it’s the death of home. joel, to ellie, is safety. safety that she spent the last five years resenting until it was too late. he’s been the one constant in a shattered world. so when he’s dying — or dead — she reverts, not in age but in emotional rawness. she becomes a daughter clinging to a father figure who can’t shield her anymore. and it’s not just fear. it’s complete unmooring. there’s no one left to hold the world up for her. it’s the kind of need that children have when everything feels too big, too loud, too dangerous. she needs to be held. but there’s no one to hold her, so she becomes the one doing the holding, even if he can’t respond. and he’ll never respond.

in one of ellie’s most harrowing moments in life joel was there to cling on to her. in yet another, she clings to him. but he’ll never cling back again.