#I’ve been working on these for like 2 weeks 🤕

[xomby]

Um liz shaw from the band au because she is the best

[missaudreystiara]

hc + 🤕 😶 💔 for Till

Whoever suggested these wants poor puppy dog Till to SUFFER!!

🤕 for a pain-themed headcanon

This is a non-specific headcanon, but I feel like any time Till’s in pain (4x02 case in point) she will vehemently pretend that she’s fine. To the point of stupidity.

When it finally gets to much to keep on pretending, she’ll inevitably break down and cry - which she HATES.

😶 for a headcanon about a secret they know of / keep

This is very much not canon, but I’ve still not been able to let go of the idea that Audrey was really just deeeeep undercover at the end of season 2, and that she wasn’t ever really back under Wilford’s influence or on his side. I’ve got lots of specific reasons for why I believed this so strongly at the time (maybe I’ll post about that at some point 🧐), and I’ve been thinking about it a lot again because I want to write a fic that extends that idea. In my head, Till would have been one of the few people Audrey had let in on her secret that she was going to commit so much to the performance. She asked Till to trust her, no matter what happens. Till does, but nearly wavers after the dinner party and seeing Audrey like that… but she still wants to believe that she hasn’t lost her friend.

And now I’m thinking about this all again, I want to write this fic even more haha.

💔 for a headcanon about a sad experience

Before the freeze, Till didn’t have a huge circle of friends - she had her sports (rogue but I can see her playing Aussie rules, or basketball maybe?) team, and a few friends from college that she kept in touch with via an increasingly muted whatsapp group… but really it was just her two work friends (the only other queer cops in her team) that she was close to.

When Wilford announced that he would be recruiting for various positions on Snowpiercer, all three of them agreed that they would apply to be brakemen together. They had got together one weekend to work on their applications and hang out - just pizza and beer, nothing objectively special, but the kind of easy, casual hang out that Till always loved. They’d all agreed that it was all three of them, or none of them - if they didn’t all get accepted then they’d face the freeze together instead.

Till was the only one to receive a reply, inviting her to the 6 week training programme before Snowpiercer’s departure - Wilford didn’t even acknowledge the other two’s applications. She was adamant to stick to their original agreement, she wasn’t going if they weren’t going with her. But the evening before the training programme was due to start, Till’s friends arrived at her apartment with an empty duffle bag and an offer (a plea) for her to let them help her pack. After many tears shed by all three of them, she agreed.

They dropped her off at the training centre and said their quick goodbyes - Till would get to come back home briefly between training and departure after all… but when the time came, the weather had got too bad to travel for anything but the most necessary of journeys, and she couldn’t leave the training centre in Chicago. She never got to say goodbye…

[maggielindemanns]

psst, hello dyamond! your festive friend has landed on the roof again, this time with a smashbangwhallop and the sincerest apology for taking so long to check in! reindeer are awfully unreliable postmen of the pole, it seems. 🦌✨💫

thank you so much for taking the time to answer my silly little questions, i had so much fun reading through your responses! ⭐️ for the sake of catching up on the conversations we’ve missed, perhaps i can reply to your responses and pose some more questions? an icebreaker of sorts (pun totally, unapologetically intended 😌). i hope that works for you! 🫶

1. i was a bit of a meanie for asking you to narrow it down to three, so i’m super impressed that you managed it! i had never listened to ur so pretty by wasia project before today, but i love it! it reminds me a little of generous heart by maya hawke, another song that’ll rot your molars! 🤕🤍 i have a theory that lyricists are certified magicians, and louis is no exception! holding on to heartache is definitely the hug to heal you after a sad song or two. fitf is quite the musical masterpiece, i’m so proud. 💫

2. ahhh, no! i guess it’s not so bad being allergic to pet dander if you’re not an animal fan. 🥲 i have a whole host of little fluffs, many of which are just a bundle of fur with eyes dhdgf. i started out lockdown with a bit of a fear of rodents and came out of it with 2 rabbits, a hamster, 6 mice & 2 rats… so i did a bit of an uno reverse! 😭 opening my bedroom window in solidarity (… when daylight breaks, as it’s currently -4°C and my fingers and toes are icicles dhfgf ⛄️)

3. i’m so so glad that my message brought some joy to your week. nose scrunches galore, in fact. ��☹️ sending a high five to your little friend from work! it’s always lovely to hear somebody so passionate about what they do. children are oftentimes the smartest and sweetest of people, they live life so simply & sweetly. a reminder to take each day as it comes and not to sweat the small stuff so much. ❤️‍🩹

today’s questions, if you’d like to answer any of them! 🤲✨

1. if you could ask louis and harry one question each, what would you ask?

2. have you been to see either of them in concert? if so, what was it like?

3. what hobbies do you have?

hoping the first week of december has treated you as delightfully as you deserve. speak soon (& sorry this ask is so darn, i pinky promise the next will be a little more concise so you might reach the end of it by christmas day dhfgf) 🎄🤍

the reindeer are doing their best, it is a-okay! i’m glad you’re back! (and apologies for my own delayed reply — life has been BUSY lately)

i’ve never heard generous heart by maya hawke before today, but it is so pretty 🥺 definitely adding it to my playlists! lyricists ARE certified magicians, i’ve always wanted to write at least one song in my life. i know that sounds so bizarre bc i could write many, but it’s so hard 😭 props to all these people writing gorgeous lyrics!

so many animalllsssss that sounds like there is never a dull moment for you hehe! also — that is COLD omg i love the cold but that would have me shivering so much afsjdgsks

kiddos are so so cute and they are so smart and sweet, but theyre also still learning and can be a lot so i def am learning to be a little more patient with them and take things as they come 🥹🫶🏼

today’s questions are so good, i am answering all of them asap!

so good, i’ve thought about this so much and really still don’t know! but if i had to ask them one right now, i would ask harry if we could be besties agsjdhdjd and what are his top 3 favorite stage outfits he’s worn. i would ask louis about any songs that were cut from both albums at the last second and why, just bc i wanna know what he was thinkin 💆🏽‍♀️ wanna pick his brain a little

i have seen harry twice! once in my home state, once at msg in new york! this might shock the masses, but i actually did not really love the msg experience agsjdgdjd i liked my home state show better for sound quality and getting around the venue and just overall vibes but he was amazing both times and at my msg show we got the spitting on chris pine joke agsjdgdjd i SCREAMED. i have yet to see louis, but i’m going in may! i’m so excited and expecting great thingsssss 🕺🏽✨

hobbies i have — reading is number one, just finished bunny by mona awad today! i am reading nightcrawling next 🫡 other hobbies areee listening to music and wandering around target and/or barnes and noble stsjdgdj i feel like i no longer know anything else i do. oh, sometimes i write a little, but its usually just for me or like for therapy or somethin like that!

thanks for poppin in, i had so much fun answering theeessseee <3 interested to know your own responses to these as well, they were really good questions! hmm as a send off, i will leave you with a riddle to answer—forward, im heavy, backwards i’m not. what am i?

sendin you lots of loveee 🤍❄️🫶🏼

[the59er]

Aug 2020!

My August 2020 😊

1 Aug 2020 Listening: Burn Baby Burn - Ash

My attempt at documenting everyday in July did not go as smooth as I hoped because I kept on delaying, making most entries to be backtracked / not posted on the date itself. But re-reading the past month was a joy because it enabled me to remember things better and that’s something that I’ve been working on. It was also oddly fulfilling.

1 Aug started with me hunting for butane to refill my candle lighter and we found it at Ace, where the cashier is. Very happy that I did not need to buy yet another piece of candle lighter. 

For the remainder of the day, I wasn’t feeling fantastic. 🤕😵

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2 Aug 2020 Listening: Cannot Contain This - Moloko

Yesterday’s funny feeling led to today’s bug! Was sneezing the entire day which sucks balls because I was looking forward to seeing Mars & HH for tea 😩 These days, we have to be extra cautious and stay home if we are feeling unwell so as to NOT infect other people or make OURSELVES feel worse. 

Oh ya! Earlier in the a.m., @nevermind-doesntmatter​ came by to drop off lemang! I love lemang, it’s always the first thing I look forward to every Raya ever since I have stopped receiving duit Raya lol

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3 Aug 2020 Listening: Lusty Scripps - Fugazi

Day was spent unproductively due to migraine and was slathering my head with minyak cap kapak every hour of the day. 

On the bright side, my selsema & fever subsided, BUT left me with this agonising headache 🤕 

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4 Aug 2020 Listening: Turkish Disco - Fugazi

Horrible horrible day. I couldn’t focus, head throbbing, and ear still oozing even after the recent check up and somehow the skin on my ear was blistering and very itchy WHICH could probably be the cause of my migraine & mild fever. Immediately called the hospital & thankfully Dr Hussain slotted me in for tomorrow.

I had cholesteatoma a few years back, and eversince then, ear infections are aplenty because of the huge cavity after the cyst was removed. I had to take extra care to not make the inside of my right ear wet, which is close to impossible. Post cholesteatoma not only made me partially deaf, but also made me suffer with vertigo 😩

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5 Aug 2020 Listening: Cats in the Cradle - Ugly Kid Joe

You know you’re problematic when the doctor prescribed some type of steroid and 80% part of you is hesitant because side effects include weight gain.

I do not feel like I am harming myself. I am home with my folks so I eat. I never skip a meal. 

I have also somehow developed an allergy against my usual meds hence why I was under the weather 💤 Received the rest of the week off!

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6 Aug 2020 Listening: 505 - Arctic Monkeys

On sick leave so I took it easy. 

🥀

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7 Aug 2020 Listening: Soft Shock - YYY

Getting a bit concerned at my own money. I am aware that while saving money is always a good move, investing it is always smarter. And then there’s the talk about risk? I’d choose to be a kid any day..

2017′s drawing of bathing in money lol. 

Visited Dr Arial again. It is frustrating at how extremely self conscious I am with myself and I am more than glad to wear a mask these days not only for the prevention of covid but also because of the fact that I can hide half of my face.

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8 Aug 2020 Listening: Duet - Gonjasufi

Mars accompanied me at the hospital today for Dr H.

We coincidentally colour-coordinated 😊 It’s always nice to have him with me at the hospital.  

Post-follow up, I “rewarded” myself with unnecessary phone cases 🤦🏻‍♀️ 

And then Mars, HH & I went to Shimmy!

 It’s a very cute cafe next to the lobby of some office building. & coffee was GOOD! I give it a 4 out of 5 coffee cups! ☕️ ☕️ ☕️ ☕️/☕️ ☕️ ☕️ ☕️ ☕️ 

Random A&W stop for a “nightcap”. Love me a fulfilling Saturday 🤗 

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9 Aug 2020 Listening: A Sunday Smile - Beirut

Not feeling it at all today on top of my allergies acting up so Im home all day crep protecting my shoes even though they still get stained anyway when I wear them most likely because: a) I might be spraying them wrong; and/or b) my inability of keeping my shoes clean in general. 

Also I think my meds are giving me trouble sleeping ☹️

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10 Aug 2020 Listening: The Lost Art of Keeping a Secret - QOTSA

Sent the car for service. I don’t remember what else I did after that other than McD drive thru. 

Sorta kinda feel exactly like this drawing I made in 2016.

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11 Aug 2020 Listening: Jaded - Aerosmith

Unfortunately could not recall anything specific happening.

All I know is I need a proper, uninterrupted sleep.

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12 Aug 2020 Listening: Virginia Moon - Foo Fighters x Norah Jones

Is it ridiculous that I specifically look for PINK Medicos disposable masks? 😛 Unfortunately the one I found on Shoppee was not from Medicos but an SG brand called Ultraguard. And it arrived in the mail today!

It’s just a matter of personal preference. I find Medicos more comfortable and cloth masks not so much. Everybody needs to be responsible so mask ON!

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13 Aug 2020 Listening: Shame - Young Fathers

Chatted with some of my work friends whom I havent seen since the WFH notice started. I missed them.

But do I miss work? Not really :p I especially do not miss this view below 😂😅

Old illustration from 2017.

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14 Aug 2020 Listening: Perfect - Smashing Pumpkins

I went to the grocer’s just to buy mineral water for my Sunday activities and please somebody tell me why does evian water tastes better or am I just naive ? ? ?

But found out later that our Sunday physical excursion had to be postponed because J is recuperating from a bug so we’re going to be taking it easy breezy instead 🏄‍♂️ 

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15 Aug 2020 Listening: Under the Bridge - RHCP

Ordered Zati’s cake again for Seburba day tomorrow and I brought some to Mars for a first taste and it did NOT disappoint! Mannn I highly recommend her burnt cheesecake, they are extremely lush.

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16 Aug 2020 Listening: My Favourite Mistake - Sheryl Crow

Happy Seburba Day!

So there was a hikmah behind having to postpone our early morning physical activities.. I ended up waking up close to 10am lol.

We went to HH’s aunty’s place to celebrate the Man of the day!

And then J whipped out his new toys and one of it was a really cool polaroid printer!

J took loadsa photos as usual, making me feel pretty as usual teeehee. It was a fun day out!

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17 Aug 2020 Listening: Robert De Niro’s Waiting - Bananarama

For real, Robert de Niro would be the only old man I would want to marry and I’m not even kidding.

Happy Birthday Bob! ❤️

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18 Aug 2020 Listening: Sweetness - Jimmy Eat World

Ordered this rice bowl of chicken and eggplant and as delicious as it was, it was extremely filling or lemak that I ended up not finishing it.

I have also gained weight which I am blaming my meds for. 

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19 Aug 2020 Listening: Sidewalks - Story of the Year

Happy 19!

If it’s not because of RMCO, Mars and I would’ve gone on a dinner date tonight :( Highly likely at one of our fave go-tos:

This was way back in February, on the 19th! Before MCO hits MY the following month. Ya Allah please make Covid-19 go away for good 🤲🏼

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20 Aug 2020 Listening: Letters to You - Finch

Welcome, 1 Muharram!

Spent the a.m. rushing to get Princess’ bday gift because we are finally meeting after many many moons but only for a duration of her lunchbreak! Boo! Anyway, I settled on a cute (or so I’d like to think :p) birthday pendant!

This random cafe that we went to called Caravan had nice grilled chicken that I actually finished. Too bad no pictures at taken at Caravan because the three of us were too busy talking 😝. Sent her back to work before Mars and I met up with HH at the usual rendezvous 🏄‍♀️ 

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21 Aug 2020 Listening: Juneau - Funeral for a Friend

Today, I JUST learned how to use the MySejahtera app to check for Covid-19 hotspot 🤦🏻‍♀️ 

The key is to type in as specific as possible instead of generally typing “Bukit Damansara” or “Petaling Jaya”. Type in the actual place you want to go to, for example “Bangsar Village II”. Then you’ll know whether the place has any recent reported cases or otherwise. I feel extremely stupid for not exploring the app much earlier.. Kudos to the MySejahtera app team & developers! 

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22 Aug 2020 Listening: Push - Matchbox Twenty

Today’s hospital sesh took longer than usual. By the end of it I was feeling extremely tired. On the bright side, I think I’m getting there.

Mars accompanied me again today. I remember many years ago when I was at Damai for emergency ENT, and because it was all the way in KL, in the middle of a work week and a sudden last minute call (well it WAS an emergency op for a reason..) so none of my siblings could make it and Mars couldn’t make it either so I felt terrible and alone in that strange hospital. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone because vulnerability and loneliness do not mix well.

Rounded up the long day by having super late lunch at Frisky and caught up with HH for kopi at good old Artisan ☕️ 

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23 Aug 2020 Listening: Someday - Sugar Ray

Today is Pwincees’ birthday!

The 3 of us have been friends since we were 7 and I am very proud of them 🥰

I also met up with the NeoKL / NeoKL(AR)  boys for kopi before M leaves us to the cooler breezier side of the world! I pray he’ll be healthy throughout his trip & once he’s settled there. You know how unpredictable Covid is! One day the numbers are down, and the next, a new cluster appears outta nowhere 😩

Mars gave us an upcycled shirt each! One of his many many projects. Dude just cant sit still, unlike me, I can lie in bed all day. It’s nice to see him constantly creating. You’d know something is definitely wrong when/if he stops making anything. 

I also feel very lucky that all of the guys I’ve met & directly worked with through Transit/NeoKL are incredibly pleasant & polite, like the time when I went to Ipoh and was the only girl working, they definitely carried their own weight and then some. If anyone is looking to do any creative project involving music, visual, AR, I’d highly recommend this team!

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24 Aug 2020 Listening: From the Sun - UMO

Budget meeting, schmudget meeting.. the pain is when I have to write the minutes of meeting 😴 

The night before I slept slightly better. But I still wake up with a sweaty head. I looked it up and it says due to “stress or other underlying health conditions.” Im still on meds so that could be it but it’s making me feel extremely heaty?

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25 Aug 2020 Listening: The Rat Cage - Beastie Boys

WOW I DID NOT SLEEP UNTIL 3AM last night.

Blaming it on work and my overall imbalanced qi. 

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26 Aug 2020 Listening: Everything will be Alright - The Killers

Hospital again but thankfully a quick one with not much questions.

While waiting, I made a list of what to buy at the grocer’s after my session is done, but...

I’m very sure I’m not the only one who can’t seem to commit to a list when it comes to grocery shopping. Self-control? What’s that?

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27 Aug 2020 Listening: Loser - Beck

Supposed to be on leave today and tomorrow but surprise surprise, WORK. On the bright side, tomorrow’s budget meeting has been postponed. On the downside, I’ve already moved tomorrow’s dentist appointment to make way for the now-cancelled meeting. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Part of me can’t wait to be braces-free. Another part of me is holding on to the memories of youth! I had my first braces at 16 and despite all the emotional turmoil largely caused by my raging teenage hormones, I’d trade it with my current timeline of having to abide to the social construct of being a responsible adult anytime. 

DONT GROW UP, IT’S A TRAP

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28 Aug 2020 Listening: Shine - Collective Soul (MixedUpEverything cover)

They are officially my new favourite band of brothers!! 

Took it extra slow today. Went out to tapau tofu chicken, bought my usual bread, stopped by for green tea latte.. I am not obliged to check my inbox because I AM on leave, but I still do anyway because I feel bad 🤷🏻‍♀️

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29 Aug 2020 Listening: Little Sister - QOTSA

I went for dim sum & some serious shopping  🎉 (when I initially only needed a hoodie 🤦🏻‍♀️). I figured I should reward myself after a morning of housework. Is that justifiable enough🤷🏻‍♀️ Well at least I DID NOT BUY SHOES. 

I know I’m not supposed to support “fast fashion” but when it comes to office pants, H&M and Topshop sizes fits me best without the need to send for alteration. I’m sorry. 

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30 Aug 2020 Listening: Everlong - Foo Fighters (Acoustic)

Iced chocolate & kopi from Aitch today was good. I give it a solid 4 out of 5 cups of coffee ☕️☕️☕️☕️/☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️.

I’ve finally finished watching The Umbrella Academy season 2. Wow.

I took that buzfeed quiz on which character I am, for fun. I was hoping to get Klaus but Im Five 😂 But I do wish Im as smart and ruthless as Five for real though! 

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31 Aug 2020 Listening: Seven Years - Norah Jones

Out of random craving, I went out just to buy cake from Nourish. It’s 31st August, Happy National Day 🇲🇾 

And then out of boredom, I decided to try on one of my many many old baju kurung to see what I can do with them. Normally I would wear one for each day of tarawih at masjid (yup, I have almost a month’s worth of baju kurung!) but this year we all had to forego tarawih at the masjid because of MCO so up til now, my old baju kurungs have not yet been worn in 2020.

I experimented by wearing it with my work pants. Seems like a viable option to my regular office shirt. It looks like a normal blouse now, I think?

As for kain baju kurung, I’ve always doubled it as casual midi skirt by rolling up the waist to make it shorter, but I’ve only done it using my plain baju kurung or the ones with simpler, geometrical patterns. So to style a floral patterned baju kurung is trickier to me, considering that I’ve never really worn floral patterns on casual clothes before.

I don’t know.. Maybe I will test it out when I go out next week. I fully intend to wear all my old baju kurungs in some way or another this year. I’m very proud of them because they are all sewn by my lovely Mother 🥰

Farewell August!