#I’ve been criticised for admitting I’m not perfect and can be an asshole about things and somebody basically said that’s not ok either
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eeunwoo · 1 year ago
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this is super on brand for me but today I’m experiencing debilitating frustration @ being misunderstood on the internet like some kind of loser 😩
#I’m v open and literally never lie unless it’s needed#so u can see why I struggle with people trying to claim the opposite when they don’t know me. or make assumptions and pass them off as fact#or come to conclusions without asking anyone who would actually know#and if you see some of my posts you’d argue the same about me but the fact is if I post something that could change peoples views about#somebody else .. I check with multiple people who know#that’s why the v@l and her bestie situation was particularly upsetting bc there’s an entire group of people who knows I’m right but. didn’t#say anything in support and just let a bunch of ppl send me anon hate and invent things that aren’t true#and use that situation to fit fake narratives they already thought of before#I’m not dredging it up again I’m just using it as an example#or the anon on my last blog listing a bunch of things about me that they got completely wrong and didn’t bother asking about#and sometimes I always think about clarifying those things in a huge post. but then I remember those people will just find something new to#cling on to. so there’s no point.#but it doesn’t mean it’s not upsetting. you know ?#and it’s not about a single person or anything it’s just. in general.#I’ve been criticised for admitting I’m not perfect and can be an asshole about things and somebody basically said that’s not ok either#so it’s like whatever I do sucks anyway sjdjsdn#and that’s what bothers me I think. that I doubt I’d be shunned and blacklisted as a creator to THIS extent if people took the time to#actually ask me if the things people say are true and what my explanation is#anyways ..#mrow.org
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bipabrena · 4 years ago
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Do You Trust Me? (AO3 Eruri fic)
After Erwin has a rough day, Levi is raring to give him the quality treatment he deserves. Except that, this time, he has something else in mind.
Bottom Erwin. Read here.
                                                          X
His fingers stroked the skin across Erwin’s neck, slowly, delighting in every inch. He slid them down until they found the collar of Erwin’s shirt. He clenched the fabric, then removed the shirt from Erwin’s body.
Without hesitation, Erwin immediately undressed Levi, and soon they were both naked.
Levi sat on his knees between Erwin’s legs, and he pushed them aside to open them wide. He began to kiss him, and when Erwin felt Levi’s soft lips and his warm hands on his body, a throaty, needy groan escaped his throat. He laid a hand on Levi’s belly, which contracted from the touch. Levi moved to his neck.
Then, as Levi gently laid a hand on his throat, Erwin rose his head to allow Levi more skin to savour. He caught Erwin’s earlobe between his teeth, and laid his other hand on his strong abdomen, then lower against Erwin’s growing erection.
Suddenly, Levi pulled back from his affections. He sighed heavily as he held Erwin.
“What’s wrong?” Erwin asked gently as he set aside a strand of Levi’s hair. He knew that sigh wasn’t of delight, but of hopelessness.
“Nothing, don’t worry about it.”
“Are you sure?”
“It’s nothing we can change anyway, so it doesn’t matter.”
Erwin watched him inquisitively.
“I’m bored of all this fighting… it’s exhausting. And seeing you tired, doing all these things, it’s annoying. You barely have time to take a shit.”
“It is quite exhausting. Truly. But having you with me makes it much less maddening.”
Levi’s eyes softened.
“… Ditto,” he cooed as he stroked Erwin’s face.
They hugged and began kissing with even more passion. It was an incessant stream of kisses and moans only interrupted by a brief “I missed you,” from Erwin. Levi moaned into his mouth.
He kissed Erwin from the neck down, paying attention to both nipples, every indent of his muscles, the sensitive skin below his navel, until he reached his needy cock.
“At least for tonight,” he said as he looked up at a dazed Erwin, “I’ll help you forget about everything.”
His chest heaving in hard breaths, Erwin nodded vigorously, believing every word.
Levi held him open and brought his mouth to Erwin’s dick. He licked it from the base to the tip, slowly. He licked the slit. He relished Erwin’s taste as he looked up at him straight in the eye. Erwin groaned and shoved his hand through Levi’s hair. Levi lowered his head and took him in his mouth, and Erwin groaned again, lost in the sensation of those lips around his cock.
Levi began to slowly slide the thick length into his mouth, pushing it all the way down. Erwin increased the pressure on his hair, and Levi began to move faster. With one hand, he kneaded the balls as he skilfully sucked him off with his mouth, quickly bringing Erwin to the point of climax.
He slowly slid his mouth out, coating Erwin’s dick with saliva. He pulled out, extending a long string of precum in his mouth.
He licked his lips, then moved up to kiss Erwin.
He laid his hand on his face and gently stroked the soft skin with his thumb. “Erwin,” he cooed in a very gentle tone, “do you trust me?”
Erwin’s eyes widened. What was with that question?
“Of course, Levi. More than anyone. Why are you—”
“I want to do something different for you tonight. Will you trust me?”
Erwin was confused. When Levi’s hand moved down from his length to a far more intimate place, Erwin understood.
“… Levi…”
Levi continued stroking his face.
“You don’t have to do it,” Erwin said.
“I want to do it, and I want to do it for you.”
“Are you sure? I mean, it’s…”
Levi was a clean freak. Would he honestly like doing that? Truly? It would seem like the kind of thing Levi would deem unhygienic when doing it to someone.
When Erwin mentioned this, Levi huffed.
“I’d swallow a whole bottle of your cum, these quirks don’t apply when I’m with you.”
“Are you sure? An ass is quite different. It’s—”
“Erwin, just shut up and let me do it. Unless it is that you don’t want it.”
Erwin frowned uncomfortably.
Levi frowned back. “Is that it? You don’t want me to touch you down there?”
“Well, I… I’ve never had it done to me.”
“Don’t you want to know what it feels like?”
Erwin scratched his nape uncomfortably. “I’ve been curious, I’ve just never let anyone do it to me.”
Levi observed him carefully.
“… Ah, I see,” he said. “I get it now.”
Erwin blinked at him repeatedly.
“It’s too much of a submissive thing for you, huh?”
Erwin opened his mouth to speak, but Levi didn’t allow him to.
“You don’t like feeling exposed or vulnerable. Is that it?”
“That’s not it…” he defended, “Levi, I, it’s just—”
“Oi, oi,” Levi rose his palm to halt him, “don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying it like it’s a bad thing or to criticise you. I don’t mean it that way at all. But that’s what it is, right? It puts you in too much of a vulnerable position.”
“… I suppose,” he admitted.
“Erwin… it’s me,” Levi moved closer to him. “You can trust me with your life… so, you can certainly trust me with your body. I want to make you feel good. If you don’t like it, I’ll stop.”
Erwin blinked at him repeatedly.
“I haven’t done it before, either, so I’m not saying I’ll blow your mind away, but at least I want to try.”
Then, after moments of silence that made Levi nervous, Erwin reached out and gently closed his fingers around Levi’s hair. His eyes softened.
He nodded.
Levi smiled at him.
They kissed slowly, and then Levi moved down again to continue what he’d started.
Erwin took a deep, slow breath as he watched that bed of silky, black hair between his legs. He watched it shift as Levi held his firm thighs and opened Erwin wide so he had perfect view to his cock and balls.
Erwin’s lips curved down in embarrassment.
But he welcomed the warmth wetness of Levi’s mouth. Levi took him entirely down his throat, and he squeezed the balls gently as his fingertips slid along the crevice between his ass.
Erwin held his breath, completely stilled by his nervousness of the situation.
He panted softly as Levi’s skilful mouth worked him. Levi then stopped. He hooked the back of Erwin’s legs and eased them over his shoulders. He opened him wide, and Levi heard him suck in a heavy breath.
Levi looked up at him. “Are you doing okay?”
Erwin nodded.
But truly, he wasn’t. He felt helpless and exposed, and he wanted Levi to stop.
He wasn’t sure why.
Was it because he was used to taking control? Not necessarily control, Levi constantly rolled Erwin on his back and used his cock to pleasure himself while a dazed Erwin would watch in awe as Levi bounced on his dick, using him as a sex toy. And he loved that.
But this was something else.
It made him feel strange, almost inadequate. It was then he wondered why Levi was never uncomfortable with it, and what that said about their personalities.
Then, he remembered Levi had been tense the first time they did this.
Was the concept of submissiveness why it was embarrassing? Or was he just nervous about how he looked, how he tasted?
Shit, he hadn’t thought of that, but now that he did, he felt even worse.
His heart thumped in his ears as he watched Levi with wide, unblinking eyes.
“Erwin, relax,” Levi said as he looked up at him. “I can feel you tense up from down here. You’re not constipated, I’m just going to eat your ass. Calm the hell down.”
Erwin’s mouth opened. He looked dazed and embarrassed.
“.. Heh. Hehe…” he then smiled. He covered his embarrassed eyes and laughed heartily.
Levi arched a brow.
Then, Erwin uncovered his eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m alright now.”
Levi moved down again. He held the cheeks and spread them apart, and he had view of that round and tight, puckering hole.
His brows rose.
He’d never seen Erwin’s asshole before.
Truly, this was a very intimate experience for the two of them. Suddenly, Levi felt himself salivate. He never figured he’d do something like this. He’d been a clean freak his whole life, and anything related to bodily fluids made him want to shudder in revulsion. But right now, he was raring to do this.
He’d never even liked the concept of sex until he met Erwin, so he supposed he shouldn’t be too surprised by this.
He didn’t know how to start. He tried remembering how Erwin did it, but his mind went blank. He felt nervous as he considered he may not be able to please Erwin, and would only make a fool of himself.
Both men were self-conscious for different reasons.
Fuck it. Geronimo, Levi thought.
He repositioned again, and Erwin’s legs, still eased over his shoulders, shifted slightly. Levi prepared himself, and he went for it.
First, he peppered the smooth skin with soft kisses. He ran his hands all over the cheeks, and he kissed his way to the crease.
He licked top to bottom, and Erwin jolted. He found the opening, and he slowly licked in circles around it. His tongue teased and tweaked, until it slowly nudged and popped through.
Erwin gasped, and his right leg kicked up reflexively.
His tongue worked slowly, it flicked and explored as Levi familiarised himself with this foreign experience. Erwin quivered very gently, and his ass tensed just a bit around Levi’s inexperienced tongue.
Levi then found that, as the seconds progressed, the muscles relaxed.
This sensation, Erwin thought. Wet. Hot. What was it? Why did it—
He felt tingling in his dick and balls when a husky groan of pleasure escaped Levi’s throat. He tugged Erwin’s body down even closer, until his nose touched Erwin’s crease.
He was enjoying it? Erwin was baffled.
Then, he let out a moan of his own when Levi’s tongue began flicking in brief, precise movements.
To Levi, the taste was strange at first. It was bittersweet, salty, it was foreign, but after a little exploring, it began to taste good. It was one of those flavours that made you wince, but after a moment, the wince would turn to pleasant surprise.
He pushed his tongue in, as deep as he could, and interspersed deep flicks, then scooped out to lick around the rim and sphincter, then dipped deep again.
Erwin clenched the sheets tightly. He cried out in sheer pleasure, and he was utterly embarrassed by the noise he’d just made. It was shrill and feminine. Delicate. It made his eyes widen in surprise, and the attention in his asshole stopped. He figured that he must’ve fucked up, that it must’ve disgusted Levi.
It was then he looked at that soft bed of black hair, and it moved up as Levi looked at him.
His eyes were wide.
That’s all.
They were wide, and there was a burning, almost deranged emotion that overcame them. It confused and intimidated Erwin.
Until he realised that Levi seemed to have entered a state of frenzied lust.
He’d enjoyed that noise. That noise that came out of Erwin made Levi shiver in all the right places. It made the blood coursing through his veins sizzle, and it made his dick throb.
Levi immediately moved down to continue his work.
He’d do whatever it took to hear that again.
Read the rest here.
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thisselflovecamebacktome · 6 years ago
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How do you feel about this Kaylor obsession? i find it disrespectful
I’m going to be honest with you, I’ve thought of 20 different ways to write this as to make sure it didn’t come off in a way I didn’t mean it, but I’ve realised just I’m probably going to get criticised either way so writing what comes to me is probably easiest.
To start this, I want to speak a bit about myself. It’s not directly relevant to Kaylor, but I think it’s important in understanding where my perspective comes from. I say that because I will be the first to admit that I come from a very privileged position in comparison to most. I’m a white, cisgender bisexual girl who grew up in a rich, pretty forward thinking city and even though we were definitely poverty line poor, we never went without the essentials and thanks to the government scheme, I was able to go to university along with not having to worry about going to a “worse” school in my childhood because schooling is not as heavily linked with location here as other places. I mention this because with the exception of the church, my catholic grandparents and one or two assholes, I have rarely had issues with my sexuality. 9 times out of 10 if it’s brought up, it is me casually saying it. Most of my friends are queer, and while my family have their less than perfect moments with it (mostly ignorant comments), I have never been at risk of homelessness or abuse or suicidal ideation over my sexuality and have never felt like my parents nor siblings nor friends loved me any less because I wasn’t straight. That’s not to say where I live doesn’t have queerphobia because friends of mine have faced abuse and/or homelessness and/or committed suicide over it, but once again, I have been so privileged to have not. Once again, this is not directly related to Kaylor, but I am well aware it is a very different perspective than what most people have and I definitely feel it shapes and contextualises what I’m about to say so it’s important to say.
Kaylor is a very nuanced topic for me… moreso than any other ship, real or not,  I want to say that I personally don’t believe any romantic relationship Taylor had was fake. Do I think she had deeper feelings to some over others? Yes. Do I think her and/or certain partners knew that their relationship would give them extra publicity and that was an added bonus to the relationship? Sure. But I do not think she went into any relationship being like “The only thing I’m getting out of this person is their publicity”, especially after the world starting in on their “Taylor Swift is the problem” rampage. In saying this, I think Taylor showed us with Joe that it is possible for her to only show the relationships she and the other person wants to show and it wouldn’t surprise me if he wasn’t the first. I feel I should also mention that in my younger years, I was a major Swiftgron shipper… not to the extent that I feel every RED song + Better Man is about Dianna, but I definitely shipped it hard and believed it happened. Likewise, I got the vibe with other females Taylor hung around at certain points even if I didn’t ship them as strong as Swiftgron. So, as you can imagine, I’m not opposed to the idea that Kaylor had something other than a platonic relationship at one stage. If they came out today and said everything the Kaylors said was right, I’d support their relationship. However I am not someone who believes that they are this massive romantic love story that’s included beards for years, especially not ones related to the Trumps. Perhaps they had something for a short time in the past, and hell, I’d even believe Gorgeous is about Karlie, but I do not think that they are secretly together when lets be real, Taylor isn’t particularly getting anything out of Joe promotion wise if he is a beard. And before someone says “she got someone who she can say her Reputation love songs are about”, there are a total of 3 songs on that album that she couldn’t spin to be about someone else, as a platonic/family based love song or a general observation on her anxieties. Of those, one of them could have easily been reworded to be about friendship/family over romantic love. Like it just really does not make sense to me that they would play their cards that way when it’d be simpler to just keep her “single” if her and Karlie were actually together. It especially doesn’t make sense now because quite frankly, Taylor has done nearly everything she can to make it clear that even if she has conservative followers, she is not a conservative person and is very ready to defend and support the queer community. And yes, I know that coming out is very different than giving support, but with the seemingly genuine “I don’t care what anyone but my loved ones think of me��� attitude she’s been giving off in the last year or two, I genuinely feel like beards are off the board if indeed they were ever on it.
Regardless of how I feel about the ship though, I don’t like that Kaylors cross boundaries. I want to make it clear though that it is not just the Kaylors that do this. I didn’t like how Tayvin fans constantly spoke about Calvin’s dick and made comments about the sex they were supposedly having, Same with Joe/Taylor fans. I didn’t like hearing how Haylors (and other shippers) tracked Taylor’s plane. And in general, I hated how this fandom kept making “Not 10 months sober anymore!!!” jokes. As a whole, I think this fandom has crossed a lot of lines it shouldn’t have and in part that’s why I am grateful for the Reputation era because it somewhat forced us to take a step back and reconsider that stuff. And I say us because I will fully admit that in my younger days (early to mid teens) while I didn’t go as far as some other fans, I was far too obsessed with Swiftgron for my own good and crossed a lot of lines because of it. But as I’ve aged I’ve realised two things. 
Firstly, it’s invasive as fuck and goes against my “treat people how you would like to be treated” way of life. I was talking to friends a few weeks ago and I mentioned that I would hate to be famous because I know that because of the way I am with my friends, I would have fans being like “[insert female friend here] isn’t really with [insert boyfriend of 5+ years here]. Clearly her and Jess are in a relationship! Here’s the receipts!” or “[insert brother’s ex girlfriend here] and [insert brother here] were never in a relationship in their teens. Jess and [insert brother’s ex girlfriend here] clearly were in love but couldn’t be together because of the age difference so [insert brother here] stepped in to be a good ally and said he was dating [insert brother’s ex girlfriend here] instead!”. And here’s the thing, I could probably laugh that off as a “oh those silly shippers” thing, but I also know that I have a few closeted friends who would be literally scared if a rumour like that got thrown around about them just because they associated with me. I have other friends, both queer and not, who would lose family over it. And in general, the remainder would be rightfully annoyed that their relationships were constantly being belittled and being accused of lying about them. And people can make the argument that they’re just trying to uncover the truth so Karlie and Taylor can live their “authentic” lives, but like it’s not your place to do that. It’s not anyone’s place but Karlie and/or (preferably and) Taylor’s if in fact they are in a relationship. If they are romantically involved and hiding it, they have done it for a reason and that should be respected.
Secondly, and somewhat tied to the first point; it doesn’t matter. Look I love Taylor, I do, but at the end of the day, whether Kaylor are together or not does not matter. Same with Taylor/Joe, same with Sweeran, same with Swiftgron and same with literally any other ship you can think of. The world is and always will be bigger than Taylor and her partner. Would Taylor showing off a female partner be nice given how big she is? Yes. But the truth of the matter is in a hundred years, almost nobody is going to give a fuck about who Taylor’s partners were and which songs are about who. Like I genuinely believe that who Taylor is with, male, female or otherwise, is never going to make history like just say Ellen and Portia. The world moves way too fast for that and to be honest, at least where I live, we’re not really in a moment of time where Taylor coming out would be seen as a big deal to most people for more than a few months. To her fans it obviously would be, and I get that, I really do. It would be incredible to think that I have something so formative in common with Taylor and could look up to her in another way. But at the end of the day, not only does Taylor’s partners not matter in the sense of I don’t know these people and it doesn’t and shouldn’t impact my life, but it’s not Taylor’s job to be that person a lot of fans want her to be. Obviously if she so chooses to be and is said person then I would welcome it with open arms, but I would rather use my time being that person and supporting artists like Janelle Monae that are that person than trying to force Taylor to be that person when at this point in time, she has chosen not to openly be that if she is at all.
Anyway, this is far longer than I intended it to be, but that’s basically all my thoughts on the topic.
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mortimer-brewster · 8 years ago
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I AM SO TIRED OF THIS ME:A HATING SHIT!!!
Bioware tweeted this thing about how they’re gonna share their immediate plans with us on the 4th of April. I did a google to try and get more data and ended up on some worthless website regurgitating the content of the tweet from Bioware with more criticism talking about how the game is disappointing and has poor animations and shit.
Listen, all you pessimistic whiny-ass internet rags talking dirty about the newest game in a legendary series: We know people are disappointed. WE FUCKING KNOW. For whatever reason, those people are soaking up all the attention because you assholes are so giddy to jump on the shit talking train that you can’t pause for 37 seconds and ask some questions about the game from the fans who can get past that superficial shit and enjoy the actual content. It isn’t Mass Effect 1-3, but holy shit I’d take this game over nothing in a heartbeat. I love it! Get the fuck over the animations that sometimes are a little weird, I’ve experience that but you know what I do? I admit that that shit is hilarious, unintended, and understand what is supposed to be actually happening because dammit, this game is gargantuan and without a few odd moments it wouldn’t be a Mass Effect game. Why don’t you go ahead and write an article, make it equivalent in wordage to the total amount of raw data this game contains, and let the internet shred you to pieces for all the inconsistencies and mistakes you make. Hell, just use the same word count as the entire script of the game, good fucking luck.
I am ashamed of a majority of the fanbase for Mass Effect because we are being fucking elitist pricks about this whole thing. I want to contact Bioware and find a phone number to start calling some of these animators and writers and tell them how much I adore this new game. Tell them about some of the hilarious mistakes I make in my life and that I feel their pain when people criticise them for something they’ve been working on for years.
How many of you haters have been working on one project for the same amount of time? I’m sure you’re looking forward to reporters, fans, and random assholes who haven’t even experienced your work to tell you how terribly you did because there are a few miniscule, meaningless, easily reperable problems with it. Enjoy feeling invalidated for several years worth of work because apparently your fanbase is full of whiny bitches who can’t look at the larger picture.
For those of you enjoying the game: You are good people that can look at the greater picture, you see the potential in the work that has been done and will be done. I think all the assholes shouldn’t be allowed to play anymore and should have their money returned. In order to get access to the game again they have to write a unique apology, (flawlessly, in pen and perfect font) to every staffmember hurt by their comments. Each staffmember then writes back either graciously accepting or rejecting that apology. Once each staffmember is convinced of the sincerity of the hater’s repentance, that hater can snail-mail a check, and then have the game snail mailed back to them.
Tl;dr: All you people who hate ME:A: we get it, you hate it, now shut the fuck up and let us enjoy our videogame about exploring space. All you people who love it: Dude, get back to your Ryder and 100% Eos! You got this!
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