#I’ve also passed through Luxembourg but we didn’t stop so I doubt it counts

[cuntycassandra]

Thank you @cyclopsandphoenix for the tag!

No pressure tags: @wouldvecouldveshouldve @quinn-my-beloved @rosieblogstuff @practically-an-x-man @aurumjank @shortnsweetgf @doctor-whu @binch-i-might-be @sscrambledmeggss

[lameinserts]

right as rain, soft as snow (part ii)

             hey guys!! just wanted to let you know really quick that the mood of this story is based heavily off these three amazing songs:

mOStly this song: Promise by Ben Howard

Saturn by Sleeping at Last

From the Ground Up by Sleeping At Last

so listen to em while you read. they’re absolutely beautiful. you won’t be disappointed, saturn has a pretty long intro so stick with it. it’s the lyrics that count! ENJOY!

pairing: spider-man x reader/peter parker x reader

warnings: none currently! 

word count: 3,788

summary: in which the reader is an avenger and a whole lot happens before peter finds out about it. drama ensues.      

  ______________________________________________________________                “This is just another mission.” Natasha promised you as the two of you crossed the Queensboro bridge in a new car that was bought under a fake name. “That’s just what you have to think of it as, okay?” She asked softly, taking a hand off the wheel to rub your shoulder very briefly. “Remember the mission we did together in Luxembourg?” The two of you laughed over the memory, and you nodded your head slowly.

                “Yeah, okay. I can try.” You murmured back to her, looking away from the water that separated lower Manhattan from Queens to your gloved hands. The gloves were black, skin tight, ended just below your palms. They looked high tech, because they were high tech. But Tony had tried his best to make last minute alterations to make them just look like regular spandex gloves, but there wasn’t that much that he could hide.

                Natasha noticed you looking at your hands, and continued your briefing. “Your name is now ______ ______. You’re seventeen years old, and since you are seventeen, we didn’t have to change that. You are a senior in high school. You have been homeschooled your whole life, so this whole public school thing is very different for you. You are taking Advanced Chemistry 2, Russian,” Natasha lifted her sunglasses and gave you a wink, “Calculus, and Exploration Art. Only four classes because you have block scheduling.” She paused her words to make a right turn once you had crossed over Queensboro. “You have a skin condition on the back of your hands that is painful and you are extremely insecure about. Teachers can’t make you take them off, and you will never, under any circumstance, have to take your gloves off.”

                You visibly relaxed, sighing softly and closing your eyes. You leaned your head against the window as Natasha made a stop at a red light. “So there’s no risk?” you asked softly, turning your head to look at her, with her surprisingly realistic blonde wig and sunglasses.

                She shrugged softly, smiling sadly. “______, there’s always a risk, you know that. Though now that you get to keep your gloves, it’s much smaller. So don’t be so scared, okay? You won’t hurt anyone. You won’t.”

                You were silent as you fiddled with your fingers, listening to the fabric over them rustle together. You closed your eyes, taking deep breaths; listening to her words and trying your best to believe them. You wouldn’t hurt anyone. You promised yourself and your teammates that you wouldn’t hurt anyone, even if they all knew that it was an accident. That you hadn’t meant to do it. 

                You brought your hands up to your face to hide it, taking deep breaths and telling yourself that it was all okay and that you wouldn’t cry. You were better than that. No crying. You slapped your hands down and rubbed them up and down your thighs to calm yourself. You looked up as a big yellow school bus passed your car, and you swallowed thickly. You were almost there.

                “You’ll be okay, ______.” Natasha whispered, and you looked up at her with doubtful eyes. “You’re no different from all those kids in that school. Except the obvious. Look, ______, I know how difficult your life was before we got you out of Arizona. I know what you went through. I understand. I know that my life was very different from yours in different ways, but I understand. I know that Steve also understands, also being a S.H.I.E.L.D. experiment. I know that’s why the two of you are so close.”

                You stared out the window, not wanting to listen but also wanting to hear what she had to say. You knew that if she went on you would cry, because you always cried when you had to remember about the past.

                “I know not enough people tell you they understand.” Natasha whispered finally as she slowly pulled up to the high school.  You could feel your heart pounding out of your chest as you glanced back to Natasha. “I know it’s hard. But you’re the toughest person I’ve ever met. You can do this. Have a good first day at school.”

                You smiled with watery eyes at the woman in the seat beside you and grabbed your bag, stepping out of the car and staring at the school with an extreme nervousness in your heart. You turned to Natasha one last time. “You can do it, ______.” She whispered, smiling widely at you. “Have a good day at school, honey! See you later!” You nodded and shut the door, and she waved one last time before driving off; most likely so you couldn’t change your mind about school.

                You turned back towards the school, staring out over the expanse of the front “lawn” of the school as to speak, at all of the kids your age, walking into school. Laughing with their friends. Making fools of themselves trying to impress each other. And you were terrified. You took slow steps towards the school, staring down at a pair of light jeans and your black hoodie. You held your backpack tightly to your shoulders, going up the stairs and into the school. This was the first time in a while since you had really been without the Avengers, and you were trying not to let that get to you. You stood towards the edge of the hallway, watching as kids filed through the doors by the masses.

                Surprisingly, you did not mind crowds. They took away a lot of the loneliness you felt. You were hidden in crowds, you weren’t alone. You felt slightly better thinking that way. You took a deep breath, clearing your head as you looked towards a big door in the side of the hallway with a sign above it that said “Main Office.” You headed for that, pushing the door open and stepping inside, sitting down at the nearest seat. You watched the woman at the front desk mess with some papers before looking up to you.

                “How can I help you, hun?” she asked, pushing her glasses higher up her nose.

                You stood, taking a step over and leaning your arms against the counter, flinching slightly as the first bell rang. “Hello, my name is ______ ______?” you asked, fiddling with your fingers. The woman looked quizzically at your gloves before standing to go look in her file very briefly. “I’m new here.. And I need my schedule.” She opened the Manilla folder, nodding her head slowly and glancing back to your hands.

                “You have a skin condition, is that correct?”

                You nodded your head slowly with a small smile. “My medical records should be in there.” You murmured back. Of course, those were all fake.

                “As they are. You have Chemistry, first. Here is your schedule – I’ll call down for someone to take you to your class.” You took the paper gratefully from her, smiling your best smile, no matter how nervous you were. “Hello, Mrs. Warren; can you send someone down from your class to bring a new student over? Thank you.” You heard her say into the weird radio looking thing that she spoke into, and watched her as she turned back to you with a polite smile. “Sit for a while, hun. Someone will be here soon.”

                You nodded and sat, placing your bag beside you and staring down at your hands, closing your eyes and praying to a god that you didn’t believe in that everything would be okay. You looked up as the door opened, staring up at the boy that entered with what you could only assume was a hallway pass in his hand. “Good Morning, Ms. McKinnon!” he said cheerily, and oddly, his voice sounded very familiar. He turned to you sitting in the chair and his eyes widened, his jaw dropped, and for a moment he was silent. Until he snapped out of it. What was his problem?

                “Hi,” he quickly said, watching as you grabbed your bag and slung it over your shoulder. “My name’s Peter. Peter Parker. Nice to meet you. You’re new here?”

                You nodded softly as the two of you began to leave the office, and you gave the small woman at the counter a wave before the door shut behind you. “Yeah. My name’s ______. It’s nice to meet you, too.” You smiled over at him, staring down at your shoes for a few moments as you walked. Silence passed between the two of you, before you decided to keep speaking and try to make a friend. “I’ve been homeschooled most of my life.” You brought up, and you smiled as he looked over to you with interest. “Yeah. I’ve never been to school before. It’s all honestly a little overwhelming.”

                He nodded softly. “I totally understand. I’ve been going to school all my life and I’m still overwhelmed!” You laughed at his joke, finding that his voice gave you a surprising amount of comfort. “Anyway, your schedule here says your locker number. Do you want me to take you to your locker first so you don’t have to carry everything around? And hey! We have Calculus and Art together. How about today, I’ll drop you off at your Russian class and then at the end I’ll come and get you so we can walk to Calculus together. Does that sound okay?”

                You nodded your head, unable to stop your smile. “Sounds perfect.” You answered softly, bringing your hands away from your straps and in front of you as you lightly itched at your inner arm. You noticed Peter’s eyes trail towards them.

                “Why do you wear those gloves?” he asked, the curiosity in his voice sincere. “If you don’t mind me asking, of course.”

                You shrugged softly, feeling your heartbeat kick up when he asked you. “I have this skin thing.” You lied easily, looking from your hands and back up to him. “I wear these gloves because I hate looking at it. And it stops me from picking at it, too.”

                He nodded in understanding, smiling warmly back over to you. “Well, they’re a really cool pair of gloves.” He murmured back, and you felt your heart melt at how kind he was being to you. You had never experienced this sort of kindness from a stranger before. You felt yourself starting to trust him, but you didn’t want to. You know that you couldn’t trust him – you couldn’t trust anyone. It took you almost a year to trust the rest of the Avengers, but for some reason, you wanted to be by this kid’s side at all times. For some reason, you really and truly believed that he was special, and kind, and that you should trust him. Something in your gut told you that he was okay, and that he was really a nice guy. You decided to roll with that feeling rather than push it away.

                After a few turns in the hallway and a few quick chats about the classes the two of you were taking together, he stopped in front of a row of lockers. “Here’s your locker.” He said simply, placing his hand on the dark blue metal. “And here’s your combo.” He handed you the small piece of paper with your combination on it. You quickly opened your locker and looked over at Peter as he started taking steps backwards. You furrowed your eyebrows at him as you grabbed what you were pretty sure you would need from your bag. “And guess where my locker is?” He asked excitedly, placing his hand on a locker at least five down from yours. “Right here! We’re practically locker neighbors.” You smiled and laughed, and you noticed quite visibly how great it made him feel that he could make you laugh. You noticed the way his gaze softened, how his lips turned upwards in a small, crooked and yet completely adorable smile. God dammit.

                “Now, come on. Let’s get to Chemistry, yeah?” He asked, taking a step so he was by your side, holding his elbow out for you to take. He smiled over at you, his eyes beaming. “Shall we, your Majesty?”

                You laughed, unable to stop the widest smile of your life from coming onto your face. You wrapped your hand around his arm, holding a notebook and a pen clipped to the front cover of it in the other arm. “We shall, Sir Peter.” You responded, the laughter bubbling out of you. You were happy. You had made a friend. Even though you knew that you shouldn’t have, you had made a friend.

                Eventually you moved your hand away from his arm so the two of you could walk up the school steps, and you were silent; listening to the echoing of your footfalls in the large stairwell. “I sit in the back in Chemistry. With my last name starting with P and all.” The two of you laughed. “There’s some extra seats. You can sit next to me – if – if you want to, of course.”

                “Sure,” you responded as you made it to the top of the stairs and then made a left, “That would be nice.”

                You went up to the door and Peter grabbed the handle, twisting the knob and opening the big classroom door. Everyone in the classroom turned and stared at you. You felt your heart pounding as you walked into the room, wishing more than anything that you could take off those gloves – that you could remove what made you obviously different from the rest of the students there.

                “Ah, you must be ______!” The teacher greeted, walking over to you and holding out a hand for you to shake. You stared at it for a moment, begging that nothing would happen, and held out a hand and reciprocated the shake. You let out the breath you hadn’t realized you were holding when she pulled away and nothing had gone wrong. She looked down to your gloves as she shook your hand and her smile faltered slightly. She cleared her throat and continued. “I’m Mrs. Warren, I’ll be your Chemistry teacher.” She turned to the class. “Everyone, this is ______. She’s transferred in so I will expect only kind intentions, do we understand?”

                The class monotonously answered their agreements, and Peter motioned for you to follow him to the back of the class, taking the only free seat – the one right behind him. He turned to look over at you and you smiled softly, still noticing a lot of your new classmates looking over to you. You quickly placed your gloved hands in your lap.

                The teacher began to talk about Chemistry and continuing her lesson on the advanced balancing of equations – which you had already learned. With S.H.I.E.L.D. You closed your eyes. You couldn’t allow every word at school to trigger some sort of memory with S.H.I.E.L.D., or you would be a mess by the end of the day. You took a deep breath through your nose, opening your notebook and beginning to write.   -                   Class had ended surprisingly sooner than you thought it would, and you were knocked out of your concentration when the bell rang for the next class to begin. The teacher was offering praise for a good lesson and yelling out homework as kids left through the door. You walked behind Peter as you made your way to the head of the classroom.

                “______, wait!” The teacher called, reaching behind your desk to hand you a Chemistry textbook. “Here you go – you’ll need this.” She muttered, “I hope you have a good first day of school.”

                “Thank you, Mrs. Warren.” You smiled, turning towards the door to see a smiling Peter waiting for you at the door. You took a hand out and shoved him playfully – and for someone that you just met, you were surprised at how much you actually trusted him. You shouldn’t. You shouldn’t trust this stranger. But you had never had a friend before, and you were happy to have one.

                “Your Russian class is downstairs,” Peter said softly, looking at your schedule as the two of you headed down the stairs, “And so is my Physics class. So I’ll come and get you once it’s over, okay?” He asked, and the two of you stopped in front of your next class. “You’ll be okay. I’ll be back to bring you to our Calculus class. See you later, ______!” he called, smiling and waving, turning and walking down the hallway by himself. You wondered if he usually walked by himself every day.

                You turned and walked into your next class before too many students had gotten there, introducing yourself in Russian to your Russian teacher – thanks to Natasha and S.H.I.E.L.D. – and smoothly went and sat down at a desk in the back.

                Peter came and picked you up and the two of you walked up the stairs smiling and talking about different things. Peter was shocked to hear that you had never seen that really old movie, Empire Strikes Back, or something or another. You thought his outrage and surprise was hilarious. Calculus went smoothly as well – there were no problems and you sat in the back with your new friend. You walked to the Art room together, where you pretty much just painted smiley faces on each other’s arms and hands for eighty minutes. The teacher didn’t care; Peter said that he thought Mr. Jaymes, the teacher, was ‘high.’ That was a new word to you, as well.

                Eventually, school was over, and it was time for you to get back home. You waved goodbye to Peter, smiling and saying that you would see each other the next day. Of course, not before getting his number, first. Natasha said she couldn’t pick you up from school – so you walked home over the Queensboro bridge, just as you had the night before. You walked into Stark tower, giddy beyond belief, so excited to tell your teammates at the friend you had just made.

                You asked FRIDAY to take you up to the common rooms, where you were sure everyone would be waiting for you, and stepped out to see the team staring at you with expectant gazes.

                You were smiling and you set your backpack down, rubbing your hands together excitedly. “I made a new friend.” You murmured, happy at your very small accomplishment. Some seemed happy for you, others’ faces fell.

                “You what?!” Tony almost yelled, making your smile falter. “______, this is supposed to be a mission for you. You’re not supposed to trust anyone. Now that you have a friend they’re going to want to go over to your house and hang out with you, and walk home with you and – what were you thinking?!”

                You stared down at the floor, straightening your back and trying your hardest not to be upset. “I’m sorry, Tony.” You whispered, taking another deep breath.

                “She has to live on her own now. In an apartment in Queens.”                 “Tony, don’t you think that’s a little drastic?” Natasha began, looking up at the pacing billionaire from the couch.

                “Of course not. We can’t risk anyone from her school coming near here and seeing her walk into Stark Tower. It will completely ruin her cover – her name will be all over New York with rumors about the Avengers. Then the government will know. Then everyone will know.”

                You were silent, not really liking the idea of living on your own, although you would do what you needed to do. You understood that you were blowing your own cover by trusting someone.

                “Besides, we all know she’s lived on her own, before. When she ran.” Tony murmured, plopping down on the couch, and you couldn’t help but feel hurt at his words.

                “Don’t listen to him.” Wanda sent to your head, and you smiled gratefully at her.

                “Okay, Tony. I can handle it. I’ll live in Queens and I’ll show up to visit occasionally. If someone sees me walking into Stark Tower, I’ll say I work here. I’ll say that I’m a maid part time.”

               Tony thought about it and nodded his head. “I’ll go buy the apartment under the fake name. You pack your bags.”

                So you went up to your room and grabbed the luggage from the closet, packing mostly all of your clothes into the suitcases. You sighed softly, surprised at how quickly you had done it. You looked around your room – you had no decorations to take with you.   You brought it all back down to the common room, where everyone came up to say goodbye to you. “I’ll come over twice a week, okay?” you asked, trying to make light of the situation, and everyone nodded and smiled.

                “I’m sorry, Shockey.” Tony murmured, handing you the address on a slip of paper and referring to you as your team nickname. “Visit more than twice a week, okay? This tower won’t be the same without you.” You nodded, giving them all hugs goodbye. Steve offered to help you bring your stuff down and he did, and as you hailed a cab he brought a hand up to rub your upper back comfortingly.

                “You’ll do great.” Steve murmured. “I know what it’s like. To be in a world that you barely know. We’re the same, in more ways than one.” You smiled up at him, turning and giving him a hug as the cab rolled up. “See you soon, ______. Keep those gloves on.”

                “See you, Steve.” You murmured back, putting your luggage into the cab and getting in, shutting the door and giving the driver the address. Back over the Queensboro you went, taking deep breaths and closing your eyes. You didn’t mind living on your own. Last year, when you ran, you had stolen money from Tony and lived on your own for a few months. You were caught, though. But you would rather not remember it. When you opened your eyes you were in Queens, in front of your new apartment building. The man in the cab was not kind enough to help you with your luggage, but you didn’t mind. You really didn’t have much, anyway.

                You walked through the door and practically threw your luggage down, shutting it behind you and grabbing your key on the table. You searched around for a little while, exploring, but when you found the bedroom, you collapsed onto your new bed. You closed your eyes, taking deep breaths, ready to take it easy, until you felt your phone buzz in your hand.

                From: Peter Parker

                hey locker neighbor!!!

                And your new friendship began.

first part here!

next part here!