#I’ve already watched 3 wild life povs and I’m freaking living my best life I assure you

[shepscapades]

so! how’s it going

[minyoongi-smile]

Yoonmin - Robot (pt.1)

(gif not mine - cred to owner)

Yoongi is a famous solo rapper under a bad label. He hates what he got himself into and he hates his life. He throws parties and drinks until he’s almost dead. He’s only got one friend looking out for him, but that happens to be a guy who’s about as violent as a butterfly, meaning that when the other rappers pick on Jimin, he can’t do anything to stop it. Yoongi is a great musician, which is why the other guys can’t touch him. The label would freak out if anything happened to him. But all he wants is to protect Jimin and to keep making music. He can’t make the music he wants under the label, but he can’t break the contract. In order to get through the rest of the time under the contract, he’s going to need some way to cope. Will he choose the right distraction from the life he’s losing his grip on, or will a wrong decision destroy his only means of surviving such a cruel deal?

*Yoonmin*, Namjin, Taekook, single jhope, drugs, depression, angst, solo-rapper yoongi au (i don’t know how to tag things so plz forgive me im new to this)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 Final 

Yoongi’s POV

I’m not a robot. Why do people keep calling me a robot? I’m not a robot.

I take another drag of the joint between my fingers. I can feel the high settling in even more, taking away the pain of everything around me.

“How high are you getting tonight? Isn’t that your third…?” I don’t remember this guy’s name. He maybe featured on one of my older tracks, but I have no clue.

“I dunno. Lost count a while ago.” I pick up the half empty vodka bottle next to me and take a long swig. Holy shit it’s strong.

“Do you have a death wish?” He tries taking the bottle away.

“Pft, of course I do. I’m famous. Don’t all famous people have a death wish? Why else would my whole life be put out there for everyone else to see? It’s all entertainment and even in the best movies, characters die.”

“Damn, you are higher than a kite right now. Why don’t you end the party already? It’s past 2 in the morning.”

“Because the party is just starting my dear friend. Come on!” I climb my way into a standing position and latch on to the guy’s arm, dragging him from the bathroom we were locked in. I don’t why I was in a bathroom or why another guy was in there with me. But I don’t really care either.

The booming music pounds to the same beat as my headache.

“Hey Suga, where’s that expensive shit you bought yesterday?”

“I’m not bringing that out at a party like this.” These people aren’t good enough to share that with. That’s reserved for when my only guests are the voices in my head.

“You’re a dick, you know?”

“That’s what everybody tells me. Try to be more original next time.” Their words mean nothing to me. I don’t care what they say anymore.

It goes on for hours. People yelling, dancing, singing, making out with people they don’t know.

I don’t have any interest in hooking up with random strangers though, so I just drink and smoke and dance and drink some more and try not to pass out from the amount of alcohol I have consumed.

I feel dizzy and I don’t know when the music stopped or when people started leaving, but I’m glad they’re gone and I’m glad I’m alone.

By the time everyone is out of my house, I can barely remember my name. I mean, I know I’m Suga, the famous rapper who throws wild parties and writes the songs that play on repeat for hours on the radio, but I don’t know the real me. I don’t know my name, I don’t recognize myself in the mirror anymore.

I lay down on my bed, not bothering to change out of my clothes. It takes a minute or two of digging through my pockets to find my lighter.

I realize, while flicking the lighter on and off, that it would be too easy to just drop it and let the flames take away the misery. But, no, I can’t give up that easy. I have some shred of hope, even though every day it shrinks smaller and smaller.

I flick it off and toss it away from me. I find the bottle stashed under my bed and down a good amount. I don’t know what tomorrow will hold, but I sure as hell don’t want to

---------

“You look like shit, Yoongs.”

“Thanks Chim, means a lot.” Jimin is always here for me. I wish I could do something in return, but there’s nothing I could do that could ever repay him for all he’s done for me.

“How late were you up last night?”

“I fell asleep at 9am and then you called at 11 to get me down here.”

“And you’re still doing the show?”

“I have to, you know that.”

“I just wish they’d give you a break once in awhile. You need to rest and take care of yourself. One of these days you’ll get sick of everything and I don’t want to be the one to find you when that happens. Remind me why you can’t quit…” He hates that I even signed the contract to begin with. The other rappers don’t treat me the same since I’m not from the same type of background.

“We’ve been over this. I signed a contract and if I break it, I lose everything. I don’t have that long left, anyway.”

“How much is ‘that long’? You always say you’re almost done and now it’s been almost 5 years.”

“Jimin, please, you know I have to do this. Music is my dream, and if this is what I have to go through to be able to do what I love, then I don’t care.”

As long as I can write at least some of the music, I don’t care what else they make me perform. I just want to keep living my dream of playing music.

“Well well well, look who’s here. Wouldn’t think he’d live after last night.” Great, just what I need.

“Just leave him alone Namjoon.”

“Who gave you permission to be so informal with me?”

“Fuck off.”

“Ooo, little underground Daegu rapper boy finally standing up for himself. Hoseok, what do you think of his little friend? Could you take him, cause I think he needs to be taught a lesson for speaking bad to me.”

“You touch him and you won’t live to get on that stage tonight.”

“Alright Joonie, that’s enough. It’s not worth it.”

“But Jin, he-”

“I don’t want to hear it. If you get in a fight, you’ll only get that pretty little face of yours hurt, and we can’t have that, now can we?”

Jin is Namjoon’s boyfriend and Namjoon will do anything to make Jin happy since he’s so out of his league. Jin and Namjoon are very different people, from what I’ve come to know. They were both born into very good families, but Jin’s parents are both doctors, while Namjoon’s father started a music company. They were both born rich, but it’s a different type of rich.

The reason Jin stopped the fight from occurring isn’t because he doesn’t want Namjoon to get hurt. He doesn’t want Jimin to get hurt. Jin has a little brother, Jungkook. Jungkook’s best friend is Jimin. If Jimin got hurt and Jungkook found out how, it wouldn’t go well for Namjoon and Jin.

“Namjoon, Hoseok, let’s go get something to eat.” As much as I hate Namjoon, I’m glad he and Jin are together and happy, because if it weren’t for Jin having to protect Jimin, we’d both be screwed.

After they’re gone, Jimin helps me cover the dark circles under my eyes. I would never hear the end of it if I went out there like this.

“You’ll do great Yoongs. I’ll watch from the side of the stage and cheer you on.”

“Thanks.” I stop and think for a minute. Something feels like it’s missing. Oh yeah. “Jimin, would you hate me if I got high before going on stage?”

“You know I don’t like that you smoke, but no, I wouldn’t hate you. It would take a lot for me to hate you, Yoongs. ” With his slight blessing, I pull out a joint and my lighter.

“Can I see your lighter? I always notice the design but I’ve never fully seen it.” I toss it to him after lighting up.

Watching Jimin look over it so carefully is adorable. He’s taking in every detail, twisting it around in his fingers. There’s the faintest hint of a smile on his face.

“This is beautiful.” He hands it back and his words compel me to look over the patterns as well. There’s the neck of a guitar and piano keys and music notes.

“It suits you.” Jimin adds. “Now hurry up, you have to be on stage soon.”

“They’ll come and get me when I need to go.” I like spending time with Jimin. We don’t hang out as much as I’d like to. He hates parties and it seems like anytime I’m not at my studio working, someone decides to throw a party at my house, which usually keeps Jimin away. I don’t want to keep him away though.

“Suga, how many times do I have to tell you not to smoke in the dressing rooms? Come on, you have to be on soon. J-Hope is wrapping up now.” J-Hope is Hoseok’s stage name, just how mine is Suga and Namjoon’s is Rap Monster. We didn’t get to choose them, which is why they’re… interesting. The only one that fits is J-Hope because when he’s not following around Namjoon and being an ass, he’s just very happy and fun and crazy. He once showed up at one of my parties with a bag full of water guns and helped destroy the furniture in my living room.

“Fine, fine. Jimin, you coming?” I don’t give him time to reply before I grab onto his wrist and pull him out of the room behind me.

Thank you for reading my first fic! I hope you enjoyed it. There will be more parts to this because I have a lot of ideas, so stay tuned. If you want, feel free to message me or send asks because I’d really like it. Anyway, thank you and I’ll see you soon!