#I’m sticking to how this text post was set up last year hehe ;;

[lesbiheon]

tagged by @dreamaze @honeyimissjoo for the cc year in review - every month in 2023 - thank you wings 🪽💜! thank you eri 🐝💛!

rule: line your favorite and/or most popular post from each month this year (skipping months is fine!) and tag some ccs you love!

tagging @froghwon & anyone who would like to do this!!!

january (21): fav (tie between hyungwon's & ck's bday sets! these were incredibly fun to make creatively & research-wise) + most popular (hyungwon & ck in the beautiful liar mv)

(the rest of the months & corresponding gifs below the cut :3)

february (5): fav (jooheon's 1st day as the mc of m countdown! pls ignore the quality of this 200x300 gif...) + most popular (jooheon being amazed by minhyuk doing his thing during the recording of "it's alright" so true!)

march (7): fav (fav shownu era during the #shownureturns event i teamed up w @/monstax-info to host 💕 love killa era you will always be famous!!! loved this coloring toooo... don't mind the quality hnnnnng!) + most popular (from the @/shownueats sideblog shownu's rant about carbs lol)

april (7): fav (pd jooheon on peak time! "turning point" was one of my fav 2023 tracks!!!) + most popular (another set from the @/shownueats sideblog! my fav shownu variety show which is ofc yum-yum yum-yum not surprising hehe)

may (9): fav (tie between freedom mv & freedom solo debut stage @ m countdown bc after YEARS of hating perf sets (giffing) this one came out sooooo nice i shocked myself also this was joolo month 💛!!!!!!!) + most popular (the zagis @ inkigayo 💕 GOD I MISS THEM ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡

june (7): fav (shownu as text posts for his bday set bc silly sets like these are my absolute fav to make) + most popular (freedom mv behind where jooheon looks like danny phantom personified lollllll)

july (14): fav (jooheon showing up on hyungwon's last day of being inkigayo's mc bc that right there is love) + most popular (cute ck from cosmo behind<3)

august (8): fav (jooheon's hair colors through the eras ugh i loved working on this one!!! i rewatched soooo many monchannel eps & the ones from 2017/2018... they had me cracking up at like 3 am bc they're all so funny & I'm always missing ot7 so there's that... plus! the coloring came out so cohesive i was really happy w the outcome) + most popular (mx + wonho as text posts again another fun silly set!)

september (1): only 1 set this month :0!!! so fav + most popular was shownu wiping mayo that had fallen on hyungwon's shirt & then proceeding to lick it off his finger bc ofc no food shall be EVER be wasted in his presence!!!!!!!!)

october (7): fav (jooheon's bday set! i worked so hard on this one T___T also narrowing down my fav jooheon songs was roughhhh his music is incredible yknow?) + most popular (xiumin calling hyungwon pretty & the producer dropping some hilarious news lolllll)

november (5): fav (minhyuk's bday set!!!!! bc i loooooove making playlists dedicated to the monstas :'-) & also bc i finished this set after years of working on it ;;; i kept adding them removing then adding etc. songs) + most popular (muscle!won)

december (6): fav (hyungwon + that look when performing 👀) + most popular (shownu shocked by shirtless hyungwon getting hair & mu done lol)

[randomingoftherandomness]

Hi! I got a prompt! You know the cliche trope of a married couple fighting and the wife is like “I’m going back to my parents’ house!” Well, maybe wenzhou had a petty fight, and wkx actually uses that line, but he obv has no parents left, so he ran away to yby’s place. Now zzs not only has to coax his husband home, he also has to do it in front of yby, who’s like half freaking tired of the drama, and half get weirdly into it and yakes wkx’s side, making the task even more difficult. Can be modern AU or post canon, up to you 🤣🤣

Hi Nani, sorry this is a bit late hehe 🥰

I’m opting for modern!au for this coz I want to try something new haha

—

The tap on his car window startles him out of his daze and he winds down just in time to have Ah Xiang poking her head into the warm interior, bringing with her a rush of cool spring morning air.

“You fucked up really bad this time, huh?”

“Language,” Zishu chides on instinct but doesn’t pursue the matter when their foster daughter/little sister rolls her eyes and sighs.

“Are you going in or not? If you are, you should do it later coz the Old Man is still in there. If you’re not, then can I bum a ride with you to school?”

“Did you miss the bus again?” Zishu scoffs, reaching over to the passenger seat and passing over three packed lunches that were definitely bought; one for Ah Xiang, one for Chengling who was staying at his godfather Shen Shen’s for the week (thank the gods), and one for Cao Weining who seems to have ingratiated his way into their little family.

She takes it wordlessly and packs it into her bag. Sticking her tongue out at him, she shoulders the straps of her school bag, scuffing her shoe on the ground. Watching her, Zishu kills the engine of the car and lifts up the bouquet of peonies he’d bought last night and drove up and down the block until he decided against coming over to the Ye household at that hour.

“How mad?”

“I’d say you’ll probably have to grovel.”

Zishu grins, a bubble of amusement enveloping his chest with warmth. Exiting the car, he reaches over to pat her on her head and arranges the collar of her school uniform. “I can do that.”

She frowns. “Grovel and beg and kiss his ass and swear you won’t make him angry anymore?”

“Go to school, kid, and text me if you guys need a ride home today. I’ll bring you guys for some ice-cream,” Zishu says, nudging her along. She huffs, pausing mid turn to suddenly throw her arms around him and hugging tightly.

“I don’t like it when you guys fight.”

“I know. I don’t like it when we fight either.”

—

Mr Rong is the one who opens the door with a smile. “They’re at the patio,” He whispers. Gathering his coat and his briefcase, he winks conspiratorially as he leaves for work. “Good luck, Zishu!”

“Thanks,” He replies with a confidence he doesn’t quite feel.

Senior Ye and Mr Rong aren’t that much older than Zishu but somehow they’ve had a whole history between them that nonetheless had culminated in a shotgun wedding in Saipan five years ago that only Zishu, Lao Wen and Rong Xuan, Mr Rong’s only son from a previous marriage, were invited to. Senior Ye had a sharp tongue and a frosty wit, while Mr Rong was warm and personable. They’re the true definition of the saying ‘opposite attracts’.

Whilst Senior Ye, the closest thing Zishu had to an older brother in this world, hadn’t made any secrets of his disapproval of his and Lao Wen’s relationship, in recent years the man seems to have mellowed out immensely. Now, his is the house Lao Wen runs to when they have a fight.

They’re at the patio as Mr Rong had said, sitting at the table with the breakfast things all spread out mid meal. His Lao Wen looks radiant in the sunlight, dressed in a soft jumper that was probably Zishu’s at one point, resolutely not looking over when he approaches. Senior Ye gives him a once over and sighs, put-upon, at the sight of the flowers.

Clearing his throat, he ignores the man and goes to a crouch in front of Lao Wen, setting the bouquet on the table beside them. Trying for a smile, Zishu quietly says, “Hey.”

Cool dark eyes flicker to him and narrow dangerously. Before his husband can say anything, Senior Ye takes a quick jibe in. “Hey. That’s all you can do? Hey?”

“Senior Ye...”

“It’s okay,” Lao Wen says, tilting his head towards Senior Ye with a placating smile. “Maybe we could have a minute?”

“Ugh, fine.” He rolls his eyes, voice dripping with utter disdain as he stalks back into homely interior of his home. “I’m keeping an eye on you two!”

“I thought he didn’t like you very much,” Zishu cannot help but to say.

At this, Lao Wen merely shrugs and tucks his hands under his sleeves. “Have you had breakfast?” He asks, hands already moving to butter the bread and spread the jam. It settles something unnerved in Zishu to see him do this for him and it is enough to unlatch the words, “I am sorry, Lao Wen. Please come home.”

The hand on the butter knife pauses mid stroke. “I...” Lao Wen licks his lips. Setting the knife down with a clatter, Lao Wen reaches out for his hand. They tangle their fingers together, sharing a soft, slow smile. 

“I’m sorry too. I couldn’t sleep last night without you.”

Zishu feels the words unspool his heart. He lifts Lao Wen’s hand to his lips, pressing kisses to the ridges and dips of his knuckles. “What were we fighting about again?” He asks around a irrepressible smile.

“Can’t remember. Probably something stupid,” Lao Wen laughs, curling into him and drawing him into a kiss. “I love you. Let’s go home.”

“I love you, too. Let’s go home.”

—

“How long did it take this time?”

Ye Baiyi rolls his eyes, throwing the ingredients into the bowl before he leans back into the warmth and solid strength of his husband, tilting his head back to kiss at a jaw.

“Not long. I gave them the leftovers from last night to take home for lunch after I made them sit through a lecture. That brat said he wants to cook dinner for us this weekend.”

His husband chuckles, the sound reverberating right to his bones. “You’re such a softie.”

“Mm.”

[simonsrosebud]

the one where someone doesn’t know who kevin day is, pt. 4

part one two three five

extra content linked at the bottom!!

the cousins are all on the bus.  they’re the first ones there, but kevin hangs behind to wait for dalton.  apparently it’s obvious.

nicky hangs out the open bus door.  “he meet wymack yet?”  and goes bug eyed when kevin shakes his head.  “you haven’t introduced your boyfriend to your dad yet?!  this is the first time they’re meeting?!”

and jesus, he didn’t think it was a big deal.  it’s just the banquet.  but he also knows he’s never had a father before.  or a boyfriend, really.

“is... should i have done that before?  why- it’s not some big deal.”

nicky shrugs.  “first impressions are important.”  and goes in the bus.

and now kevin’s trying not to get overwhelmed.

abby’s in charge of the headcount, but wymack still climbs out of the bus when the dates get there.  dalton is the first one. 

he goes right to kevin- still waiting outside the bus, and gives him a quick kiss before grabbing his hand and continuing on his way to wymack.

he sticks his hand right out.  “i’m dalton.  it’s nice to meet you, mr. wymack.”

wymack nods.  “you as well.  heard good things.”  kevin hasn’t really said things about dalton, but he lets it go.  probably just being polite.

“hell, hope i can live up to them.”  he laughs.  “i would’ve made it a point to introduce myself before, i apologize.  i feel like i’ve been grading finals for weeks, now.”

wymack gets talking, and kevin honestly feels like a third wheel.  dalton was doing a better job at talking with his father than he did sometimes.

kevin sends dalton onto the bus eventually, and wymack holds him back.  “you told him shit?”

“yes.  not the yakuza.”

“but he knows you’re kinda fucked in the head?”  kevin almost frowns.  he’s not wrong.  wymack adds as a second thought, “not to say the rest of those idiots aren’t.”

“he knows.”  he normally wouldn’t care to mention it, but he really wants wymack to like dalton.  “he helped me with a panic attack a little bit ago.”

“riko?”  he nods.  every time it happens it makes wymack look beaten down.  kevin almost regrets telling him, but wymack purses his lips and after a moment shoves his shoulder towards the bus.  “he’s a good kid. stop your worrying and get your ass on the bus.”

it’s as good as a compliment as he’d hoped for, honestly.

this years banquet is in virginia.  it’s a six hour drive, and kevin had already explained why they don’t fly if they don’t have to, so dalton’s kind of made it his mission to get along with some of the foxes.

kevin would rather he not.  it’s not like the last time dalton spent time with the foxes they spilled his life faults in front of his new boyfriend.

that would be insane.

matt, dan, and dalton talk the most on the ride.  renee joins the conversation at some point and matt and dan butt out.

kevin’s busy talking to wymack about exy, and horror sets in his eyes when he sees neil talking to his boyfriend.  “we’re three hours in, kevin, he’s made it this far.”  as in, neil won’t break him.  but kevin’s nervous anyway.

until he hears what they’re talking about.

math.

“that’s disgusting.”  kevin leans back in his seat and watches them talk.

renee smiles.  “you’re dating him.”

the foxes are sat on the opposite side of the court of the ravens, as has become routine ever since neil and riko’s encounter.  instead they’re sat with the trojans and jeremy, jean, and alvarez sit across from them.  kevin smiles when jeremy comes around to say hi, but he smiles just a bit wider when introducing dalton.

jean and kevin have this thing.  they don’t talk often, but when they do it’s more of a check up.  so when jean asks him in french how he is, dalton grins.  “do all exy players just speak french?”  it’s more of a remark to jeremy, who laughs and tells him jean said he taught kevin french when they both lived at edgar allen together, which makes dalton feel a little bad.  kevin had told him how he knew jean, and about living at edgar allen with riko’s abuse.

later, dalton grabs his hand under the table.  “is french triggering for you?”  and, what?  “jeremy said jean taught you french, and you’ve told me about your time with jean.” oh.

dalton was a graduate student, sure, but he was more intuitive than kevin thought.  “french was an escape because no one but us understood it.  i like speaking french to you, because you like it.  it helps to take away the meaning behind why i learned it in the first place, i think.”

“okay... can i kiss you?  would you be okay with that?”

kevin raises a brow.  “i mean, jesus, i came out for a reason.”  he starts to turn away with fake annoyance, but dalton snorts and turns his chin back before he gets away.  it’s just a small peck, but it’s enough to make dalton smile so kevin doesn’t care.

jeremy circles back.  “volleyball, guys?”

dalton snaps his head back to kevin.  “oh, i’m going to dominate you.”  and takes off.

“be on my team!”

“nope!”

normally they’d drive back that night.  the first banquet after the disastrous one last year was the fall one (which kevin went to with renee because he was still scared to introduce dalton), and they’d gone back that night since it was only a two hour drive.

wymack wasn’t sold on it at first, but after getting multiple confirmations from everyone that it’d be okay, he booked rooms so they could drive back sunday morning instead.

the foxes are all drunk- save for renee, andrew, neil, kevin and dalton.

they gather in matt and dan’s room for hours.  at one point, kevin’s so out of it and tired that he doesn’t notice dalton leave for a moment.

it’s because of andrew.

but all must go well because dalton makes it back alive and unfazed.  he settles behind kevin and kisses his cheek.  “wanna head back?”  he drops his head into the crook of his neck.  “you look really good, baby.”

that’s a new nickname.  he thinks he likes it.

ahaha.  aha.  you know what happens.

dalton asks kevin if he would want to come to maryland, his home, for a few days during winter break.  kevin says sure before he realizes that it probably includes him meeting dalton’s family.

kevin does a google search once he’s settled back in his bed at palmetto.

when do people normally say i love you in a relationship?

he deletes it almost as soon as he searches it.  it’s a stupid thing to search.

dalton sends him a text.  a funny twitter post, and a message under it.

the banquet was so much fun, i’m so glad you asked me to go w you❤️❤️

kevin sends a heart back.

ALL EXTRA CONTENT ALL HERE BABEY (aka a dalton/kevin directory so i don’t have to keep updating on this post hehe)

there’s so much extra content and it just keeps coming so keep an eye out for updates on that link^^

dalton finds out how famous kevin really is

dalton/kevin at pride

what does dalton look like?

first fight aha

what did andrew say to dalton?

dalton & wymack’s perspective of meeting each other

AMAZING DALTON X KEVIN ART!!!

kevin meeting dalton’s friends

[kaikookie]

counting rules.

Member: Choi Seungcheol

Genre: angst, fuckboy au

Word Count: 2,542

Author’s Note: finally a seventeen imagine that I thought of while listening to a song on the radio. hehe enjoy!

Disclaimer: Inspiration for this story came from the song ‘New Rules’ by Dua Lipa; (which btw, you should totally listen to while reading this) in no way am I claiming these lyrics as my mine, and all credit goes to the artist (lyrics/some form of slightly altered lyrics will be in italics)

Fuck me and forget me. Not this time. This time, I have new rules and I count them.

It’s two in the morning. You lie wide awake in your bed. The windows are opened and blinds pulled back, but no breeze flows into your room. You were sleeping soundly in your bed an hour ago. But your body....your mind knows when he will call. It has happened so many times before. 

“Fuck him,” you whisper. You squeeze your eyes shut, repeating the words, “Go to sleep, go to sleep..” It was your mantra these days, to go to sleep and ignore him. You rotate so you’re sleeping on your side. Your eyes follow the charging cable near your bedside to lead your hand to grab your phone. 

When you press the home button, the screen lights up, and you squint to adjust to the brightness. You hold the phone high above your face, staring at the screen until the clock changes its digits. Exasperated, you let out a huge sigh, index finger pressing down on the power button with determination.

When the confirmation to shut down your phone appears on the screen, you hesitate. Your thumb hovers over the screen. You’re holding your breath, as if you were trying to deactivate a bomb instead. You eyebrows furrow, thumbs wavering over the glass, and mind scrambling for a definite decision.

God, I’m making myself crazy...

With a sigh, you close your eyes in frustration and slightly throw your phone; it lands on the end of your bed. You sit up in your bed, running your hands through your hair, trying to release your irritation. You shuffle until you reach the end of your bed and make one final lunge to grab your phone before standing up. 

You pad along the corridor into your kitchen and to grab a cup of water. During your walk you open Snapchat and scroll down until you see the familiar name. 

‘S.CoupsKing’ story reads updated 32 minutes ago. You place your cup of water on the counter and brace yourself for the long story update. You endlessly tap through his updated video status and your fist grips the cup tighter each time.

Girls, alcohol, and music.

A caption under certain post spikes your interest.

some girls actually know what’s it like to have fun

You scoff out loud. You know the snap was directed to you, directed to the fact that you refused to be his trophy girl at the party. He tried to invite you very earnestly, but deep down you knew that this party was going to end the same way it did every time before: with you tipsy from the guys trying to get with you in a one night stand, and Seungcheol making out with the closest girl he could find. 

So when you rejected his offer, Seungcheol tried to convince you in a different, and more inappropriate way. Nevertheless, you had pushed him away, refusing to succumb into another wasted Friday night with someone that didn’t even love you.

However, you can’t complain. Seungcheol was not your boyfriend. He was never obliged to only look at you. Your relationship with him was complicated to you. You were always conflicted about how you felt about him, but deep down you knew. You were fuck buddies.

You closed your eyes when audio from his story started playing. You can tell from the loud bass of the music and cheering of the people that he was showing off how well he could turn a girl on at the club. 

You put your weight on the counter, water cup forgotten and focus on breathing. You know the relationship you have Seungcheol was unhealthy, but you couldn’t stop your heart from thinking otherwise. You place your phone on the table and look up back at your kitchen. 

The moonlight illuminates part of your sink. The reflection lands on the fridge, your attention caught on a piece of paper stuck on the surface. 

meet me at club Octagon...you wont regret it this time, i promise

-your one and only scoups

You realize Seungcheol must have scrawled that last message when you escaped from his clutches into your room and locked the door. 

You think at the times you were with him. He can be a million personalities at the same time. Some days, he is the nice college student that you met during your second year. You would spend Saturday’s over at his apartment playing video games, slowly falling for him. Some days, he turns predatory. His attitude becomes cocky, using your unawareness to trap you into his arms.

You’re tapping your index finger on the counter, your eyes ping pong from the clock hanging on the wall to the paper. 

Suddenly, you push yourself from the fridge and rip the paper from the fridge and flip it around to the blank side. Slapping the paper on the table, you grab a misplaced pen on your kitchen table.

Your mind is racing. “No more”, you think. You write start scribbling on the paper.

One, don't pick up the phone You know he's only calling cause he's drunk and alone

You can almost smell the stench of Jack Daniel’s that has permeated this room so many times.

Two, don't let him in You have to kick him out again

It’s always the same routine every time. It needs to stop.

Three, don't be his friend You know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the morning

You remember the nights filled with passion and eventual regret. These new rules, you must remember them and stick to them. The clock reads 2:16 am. You stare at the front door, and sigh. You take the list and secure it on the fridge with a magnet.

You turn an head back into your room, cup in hand. However, a few steps into the corridor, you can hear the special ringtone you set for Seungcheol. You freeze mid-step, your heartbeat sounding in your ears, breathing becoming heavy. 

You swivel in place, approaching the phone like you’re in a horror movie. 

   Seungcheol...

answer    decline

Your eyes waver to the paper you pasted on the fridge. You grab the phone and put in on silent. “Remember rule one, I have to count them,” you whisper aloud. The phone continues to light up with the notifications of missed calls and text messages. 

A voicemail. Your resolve breaks. You stare at that notification until the screen dims from inactivity. Your fingers tremble as you you slide open the phone and into the password to your voicemail.

hey....Y/N...hey. I.....I.....-hey! shut up I’m on the phone.....I need you to help me with.....something. I can’t seem to figure out how....how to get home.....could you...like, babe... could you maybe pick me up? i....love you.....you know that....baby....

The message is a jumbled mess when it is more of the alcohol is speaking than him. Cackling laughter could be heard in the background. The slow speed of the interrupted dialogue almost makes it indecipherable.

If you would like to replay, press 1. If you would like to archive, press 2. If you would like to delete this message, press 3.

Your finger slowly lowers onto the ‘3′ digit. Beep. You lets your arms fall to your side, phone in hand and walk to back to your room. Nearing your bed, you pull on your blankets and shuffle back into bed. 

You don’t know how long you lying awake staring into the dark confines of your room. A loud thump on your door and a few doorbell rings shake your attention. 

It’s him....Y/N, remember, don’t let him in...

The sound of tire squealing on the asphalt road comes from outside, and you know it’s Seungcheol’s friends dumping him at your doorstep. You want to stay in your bed, and ignore your conscious telling you to grab him and pull him inside.

Muffled yelling can be heard. You push the covers of your blankets away, exasperated. He is singing along to a song in his drunken state of mind. Imitation sounds of the bass dropping from him causes the upstairs neighbors to thump on your ceiling. You feel guilty.

You storm to the door, and swing the door open. Seungcheol falls backwards since he was leaning on the door.

“OH hey! Y/N, babe, you’re here!” he shouts excitedly. 

You grimace when you smell that he reeks of alcohol. You push his back to get him on his feet, and support him to lead him over to your couch. He drops on the couch like a sack of potatoes. His upper body swaying back and forth. 

You’ll have to kick him out again...you think back to the rules you write down. You stare at the paper stamped on the fridge. It feels like you wrote that list eons again.

You hold Seungcheol’s head up by his chin and neck to try to form some way of communication. Your finger’s come off his neck marked red. Lipstick. His neck is a smeared canvas of reds and purples, and that’s not counting the multiple hickeys. 

Disgusted, you push his weight off you and head to the bathroom to wash your hands. You already broke two of your rules. 

Don’t be his friend, you know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the morning.. you remind yourself. 

You finish cleaning and walk back into your room. Opening the closet door, you dig for an extra blanket. Pacing down the hallway to Seungcheol, you chuck the blanket at his head, and he falls over from the contact of the blanket. He groans but you ignore it. 

Rule three...rule three... you repeat mentally. 

“Y/N! Please...my head hurts like a motherfucker,” Seungcheol complains. You are posed on the wall around the corner. You are trying to decide whether to help him or not.

“Fuck...” you hear him mutter quietly. A loud clanging of metal bowls follow his cursing. You wince at the noise. 

Seungcheol groans again from the noise affecting his hangover. You slowly pad towards Seungcheol. The blanket you threw at him is strewn across the floor. Two metals bowls finish rattling on the ground, and Seungcheol looks at you sheepishly. 

“Sit back down,” you mutter, tired. Seungcheol with his balance wavering, lets go of the cupboard doors and pulls himself ungracefully to sit atop the kitchen counter. You reach in the cupboard, grab a cup, and fill it water. In a small drawer, you pull out a packet of Alka-Seltzer that you’ve kept over the years just for Seungcheol late night drunken visits. 

The fizzling of the tablet last about half a minute in the water, and you thrust the mixture in Seungcheol’s face. 

“Drink up, I don’t want you throwing up on my floor,” you say begrudgingly.

He takes the cup and takes a big gulp. A good portion of it ends up slouching out onto the floor, but better that than barf. He lets out a sigh and grimaces from the bitter taste of the tablet. You wash the cup and start to walk away when Seungcheol grabs onto your shirt.

“Seungcheol, let go, I want to sleep,” you shoot out. You push away his hands, but he grabs onto your wrist with greater force.

“Why didn’t you come tonight....” he whispers under his breath, “I missed you so much.” His voice is husky from fatigue, and he pulls you close to bend down and rest his head on your shoulder.

You are met with the smell of alcohol and perfume. 

“Seungcheol, get off,” you repeat, but your mind is already hazy from feeling his arms wrapped around your body.

“Y/N, the Alka-Seltzer was really bitter, I want to eat something sweet,” he mumbles. He turns you to face him to fit his head in the crook of your neck, burying his face.

You respond, “If you get off, I can find get you some candy for you to suck on.” You stiffen when Seungcheol manages to maneuver his way into making more contact.

He looks up, smile smug, and says, “Not that kind of sweet, besides, you should know a lot about sucking than I do...” His suggestive comments makes you gasp. You know how this night is going to end at this rate. 

Seungcheol pulls you in between his legs, cradling your head and his lips crash onto yours. He moans. You sink into the kiss. One hand draw small circles on your lower back while the other kneads through your hair. Both your hands are on his thighs, gripping as much as possible. Your mind is swarming with need, you legs legs are weak from his contact, and your eyes closed from your arousal. 

You open your mouth slightly from the invitation of his tongue. You slowly accept his embrace, your senses replaced with the feel of his firm body, and wafting of alcohol. Your rationality is thrown away when Seungcheol pushes off the counter to lift you up on it. 

He attacks your lips relentlessly. When you pull away for a breath of air, he drifts down to your neck, leaving marks for the world to see. You claw at his back, threading your hands through his hair. He pauses in front of your chest, eyes staring at your collarbone, fingers playing with the ends of your tank top. 

“Much better...Y/N, you have no idea how sweet you taste right now. Though I do know some places that are sweeter,” he mutters, voice rough with arousal.

You groan when he stokes your thighs, skimming your core when he is close. Your senses are on fire, you face the ceiling, mouth open to pull in deep breaths. 

Seungcheol trails a single finger from your neck down your side, lazily eyeing you up and down. You are hypnotized. Enchanted by his touch, you only shudder as he goes lower and lower. 

“Seungcheol...” you moan.

He looks at you, pupils expanded, his bone structure highlighted by the moonlight. He only looks more handsome.

“You know, I was really looking forward to you in that sexy red dress that you bought,” Seungcheol whispers.

You know he was. You remember sending the picture of yourself in the dress the day you went to buy it. His response to the picture was another picture, something that was definitely not safe for work. 

His fingers on your thighs are driving you slowly to the edge, and you resist the urge by rubbing them together. He notices.

“Baby, if you are needy, just tell me,” he say in a hushed tone.

He lift your legs and you instinctively wrap it around his waist. He carries you into your room, to the same bed where the same events unfolded so many times before. The paper with your newly written rules flutter in the wake of your absence. 

Practice makes perfect Eat, sleep, and breathe it Rehearse and repeat it

“Until next time, these rules will have to wait,” you think, “tonight, let me just have one more night of him...”

[cleowritesblogs-blog]

I Love Tom’s Big Apple

New York. The big apple. A city that is by far my most favourite and very dear to me. I’ve been wanting to write something down for a while now and use this great creative outlet, but I just haven’t been that inspired. Or more simply I didn’t want to dive too deeply for my first post. But that’s all changed now (obviously). So I one big thing to know about me is that as a 16 year old virgin (lip,vaginal and anal)  I’m naturally very boy obsessed. Initially, I feel like that phrase would stimulate a clichéd eye roll and a judgemental or chiding   interjection. But let me assure you that academia will always remain the centre of my emotional, crazy world. But I’ll save that for another post.

Okay so, something incredible....no not just incredible, otherworldly happened on Friday. Tom (yes this is actually his real name because even though I write under and alias, every story told will be factual accurate) posted a snapchat story of him lying on a bed in New York. Although you could only see from his shoulder upwards, I was quite overwhelmed to see his face (well kind of, it was on snapchat so his face was covered in a filter-the one that distorts your face and gives you really big lips). See I just deleted Instagram for reasons which, do not belong in this blog post but; it was the only social media platform I followed him on. My only link, connection and well lifeline. But things got too much and deleting Instagram seemed way more appealing then having a link to Tom. It wasn't such a big deal at the time anyway. Tom was (or definitely presented himself as) a ‘fuckboy’. He had that stupid style of really long hair on the top and all slicked back and shot hair on the bottom. He posted pictures that were meant to outline his perfect jawline whilst his sincere eyes glared into your soul. Most importantly he had a girlfirend, who was just like the cherry on top to all of this. Now frankly, I’m not one for slut shaming or justing talking smack...but I just really couldn’t see how they could ever have anything in common. Not the Tom that I know. Anyway, I opened the snap story and there it was. I couldn't really admire his face that much, but his eyes were still the same and his HAIR! He cut it and it was blonde again. I swear in that moment I was taken back to year six.

Primary school was great, there’s so much I could tell you but I won’t cram it all into one post (hehe). Lets just say from the beginning Tom and I were enemies- he was even my bully in years two and three! But by year six i’d classify us as really good friends (the sad ironic part of this all is that I have a feeling he’s classify differently if asked). We sat next each other, geeked over songs and our favourite bands, joked about stupid shit. It was bliss. Also, it is worth noting my friendship with Tom is still one of my favourite interactions with a boy to date. Naturally, by year six I had developed quite the crush on him. But it was different in the sense that, it wasn’t formed in a couple weeks, it had been nurtured in my little 11 year old heart for about a year and it had just taken me till then to actually realise how I felt. [I think this is when I had my full sexual awakening] I started to notice how sexy his ruffled blonde hair was and all the compassion behind his bright brown eyes. It still turns me on to this very day. 

Therefore, as soon as I saw him in that form again, I broke. I was transported back to being 11. It was such a powerful experience: all the associated feelings came tumbling over me, consuming me (in a good way). I was engulfed, transfixed, obsessed (again). My heart felt something it hadn't in 5 years. I was just so happy to see him pure and clean. If that wasn’t enough, I had to know he was looking this fine and handsome in the streets of New York!  I broke again. I’ve never had that bulging urge to drop everything, cash in all your savings and fly to another city so badly before. I just keep having this fantasy that him and I would just reunite and we’d just have one of those magical never ending chats, where all you care about is being in the present with that person. I think that fantasy alludes to basically the key issue/feeling I have about of all of this. It’s that I just don’t know Tom anymore and it kills me inside. Okay so I latch onto primary school memories, but shit happens in a year-let alone five of them! He probably HAS changed a lot and gone through many phases, as have I. But I just want to know. Because I care. It’s honestly as simple as that. I really fucking care. I want to know he’s okay and that he’s mentally stable, just like I’ll never be. I want to know his friends are treating him good. I want him to know that I’ll love him and always be there for him to confide in. I want to give him everything I feel I've never had. I want to give him the world.

 I suppose also I never got a sense of closure. This is the worst part. We kept in touch after primary school, we texted and snapped I’d say successfully for about a year after. But as with every online and interaction i’ve ever had with a boy (with one exception) I always get left on read at some point or another. Might I just add that mentally this fucks me up even more every time. It makes me feel like I just had completely the wrong end of the stick the whole time. It makes me feel like I am annoying and not worthy of anyone’s time. It’s so bad that, I get anxious even when my own dad leaves me on read. Because it highlights the fact that if a day was to come where even my own dad didn't  want to speak to me, well every chance of interaction I’d ever have with men would be gone. However, I’m not a quitter (usually). I didn't want to give up on our friendship then and for the record I still don’t! I gave it about maybe two or three years and I messaged him on snapchat and well you can guess what happened. My attempt was a highly sucessful flop.

This was the last interaction I’ve had with him. Which brings me to my last point, which makes this whole post very bitter sweet, at this point. I’m well aware and now you become well aware that i’m grasping onto something very intangible and obsessing over someone who clearly hasn’t thought about me these past couple of years at all...It’s unhealthy and mentally draining (I know). But I’m not letting go, not of this. Because whilst frankly it’s just sad, It brings me a sense of calming peace to see my crush (???!!) evolving, developing and maturing. It’s fulfilling in a way moving on would not be. I just want to be in New York with him so bad. Can you imagine? I think he would be very surprised and freaked out which is why I don’t really like to think about it...however It’s just my dream city. Today he posted a video of him on the empire state building which, ironically out of the 3 times I’ve been to NY, I’ve never been to. I can just see us chatting at this cafe that tucked away somewhere around 37th (street) and 7th (avenue). I see us being goofs on the empire state building and him giving me his jacket because I get too cold (always!). I see us watching the sun set on the red steps in time square and him taking me to Olive Garden (It’s a life long dream of mine). Then to end the day, we go to this like glass building beside the Hudson river where there’s a carousel inside (I don’t know where or what it’s called) and we just watch the lights. In reality it really wouldn’t matter where you go in New York, It’s just beautifully cultured in every way. It is the very monument of the American dream and the foundations of a great country (below the political surface). That’s why I love it so much. But, imagine going there with the one you love, It would be the closest experience to magic. I’m not giving up, in or out. Tom, lets go some place x