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mianmimi · 5 years ago

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LONG-ASS POST AHEAD! (Also, spoilers for a novelization no one read lol)

About the DS novelizations... How many are there? lmao I just read one published by Little, Brown and Company, adapted by Alex Irvine and based on the script by Spaihts, Derrickson, and Cargill. And it is nothing like the one you read. I feel ripped off, yours sounds way better!

The novelization I read does cover the entire film, as opposed to the one you read, though it doesn’t do much with it. Yeah, a book for kids, I know, I wasn’t expecting ten pages of Stephen, Mordo, and Wong in the greatest threesome that actually ended racism and homophobia. But it’s still really uninspired, is what I mean.

It’s almost exactly like the film, except in some places that seem devoted to fix certain plotholes (for example: Why did Kaecilius take just the pages he needed and not the whole book? Because he enjoyed the idea of people seeing the book incomplete, as evidence of what he’d done) or add inconsequential details (the weapons the zealots use are called Space Shards). There are parts that I can see why they weren’t on the film itself, likely because they went over the budget (Kaecilius and the zealots fight against several sorcerers + the librarian, they don’t just walk inside and decapitate the poor guy).

Curiously enough, most differences between the final film and the novelization are due to lines that were add-libbed by the actors on set, lines that must have the cusses removed, or lines that must have names of songs and artists removed because I guess they don’t have the rights to Beyoncé’s name lol

Random vaguely interesting stuff that I remember:

Kaecilius spent years away from KY. It doesn’t say how many years, just “years.”

Stephen really fucking hates Nic West. It’s not even that kind of hate filled with sexual tension. It’s sitcom-nemesis levels of “fuck this pathetic waste of sperm, seriously.” It’s hilarious.

Stephen is genuinely hurt when Christine comments she no longer dates colleagues because of him.

Christine comes across as someone who has moved on 110% from her relationship with Stephen. She reads as exasperated and extremely disappointed around him.

Stephen loves to drive, and he drives like he’s on a racetrack... and we all know how that ends.

Before he passes out, he sees his hands covered in blood.

He proves the old saying of doctors being the worst patients true. He really dislikes being a patient.

What Christine’s bringing to Stephen the night of their big fight is a care package. Awww.

Stephen’s physical therapist sounds like a sweetheart, tbh? Stephen describes him as being a huge optimist that always wants to make his patients see the brighter side of their unfortunate situations.

Stephen considers apologizing to the physical therapist after the man actually gets him Pangborn’s file. But he doesn’t because, as he says, he’s not the apologizing kind.

Stephen finds Pangborn by himself. How? Who the fuck knows. And Pangborn doesn’t tell him where Kamar-Taj is, he just gives Stephen the name. Stephen finds mentions of KT on books on mysticism, and these books mention it is located somewhere in Kathmandu.

Stephen spends days wandering in Kathmandu, probably sleeping on the streets, since there’s no mention of a hotel.

This novelization doesn’t have the scene you mentioned in that other novelization, the one with the boy asking for Stephen’s last dollar, the one that gives him directions to KT and then replies to Stephen that Stephen is the one doing badly and not him. I wanted to read that part :(

In this novelization, four men attack Stephen, not three like in the film.

Stephen thought he could talk his way out of the mugging, and when he realized he couldn’t he was willing to give them the watch, then he snapped and thought fuck no I’m no stupid tourist and punched that motherfucker in the face. The watch is not really as important as in the film, or at least it doesn’t feel that way, it’s almost an afterthought.

Stephen thinks Mordo’s epic smackdown to the muggers is “like something out of a movie.”

Stephen describes Mordo as a “young man” which is cute, and probably means that Mordo is younger than Chiwetel (Mordo the grown up twink and Stephen the chickenhawk theory confirmed? lmao). He notices Mordo’s forehead scars. Also, he doesn’t recognize Mordo’s accent, which means that it isn’t British, because Stephen would definitely recognize a British accent. Come to think of it, Chiwetel’s accent in the film is not entirely his own, and at times feels like he’s trying to give Mordo’s accent an Eastern European feel. Mordo is a Romanian/Bavarian aristocrat confirmed?

Mordo is very serious business here, unlike the film. This confirms Chiwetel saw the script and said nah fam how about if he’s sweet and gay

Stephen thinks of Mordo as “his rescuer” until he finds out his name when TAO says “Thank you, Master Mordo.”

Stephen actually hears Mordo’s voice in his head when he says that Stephen’s heart-rate is dangerously high.

In this novelization, Mordo is the one that grabs Stephen and throws him out after TAO says she won’t teach him. But in the film it’s Master Hamir. Seriously, I screencapped the scene, you can briefly see Master Hamir as the only person at the door when Stephen’s thrown out. TAO told Master Hamir to handle the white trash and he fucking handled the white trash. I love that dude lol

TAO was debating with the sanctum masters about whether she should let Stephen stay, but she remained unconvinced. Mordo convinces her.

TAO is the one that tells him to go to the library. The library is Stephen’s very first stop after his first real talk with TAO. It’s on his second trip when he meets Wong, which would mean he read all those books in one fucking sitting???

“Mordo stopped next to him. Strange concentrated harder.”

He really wants to make a good impression :’)

Stephen doesn’t know Wong knows he’s been conjuring portals on the library to take the books Wong forbade him to read. He’s genuinely surprised when TAO tells him she knows.

Mordo is angry during The Sparring Scene™ like, this dude is always angry, no wonder Chiwetel thought nah fam he ain’t angry he just very gay and can’t find a good white top

““What’s that?” Strange asked.

“That’s a question,” Mordo said with the smallest of smiles. A joke, Strange thought. He was starting to like Mordo.”

Film: Mordo gives Stephen a soft punch to the shoulder. This novelization: Mordo straight up kicks Stephen in the chest like he’s auditioning for a Hong Kong martial arts film.

Stephen e-mailed Christine twice. He missed her and wanted to apologize to her face-to-face.

Stephen stops writing that third e-mail to Christine and jogs to the library to learn spells specifically from the Book of Cagliostro because he wanted to see if it was possible to go back in time and fix his mistakes. Stephen, you motherfucker, didn’t you pay attention in Natural Law 101?

Stephen’s stomach gets the rumblies when he studies :’)

Magic is shown to be kind of addictive and seductive. Stephen is pretty much seduced by the Eye and the book to continue fucking up after he does the thing with the apple.

He doesn’t believe (more accurately, doesn’t want to believe) TAO could lie and use the Dark Dimension to live indefinitely. At least not at first.

Wong is fucking pissed off when he sees Stephen with the Eye. In fact, some of Mordo’s lines in the film are Wong’s in this novelization.

“Mordo was looking at Strange in a new way. There was anger still, but also some respect… and maybe even a little fear.”

Wong and Mordo stare at Stephen with pity and disgust when he says he doesn’t want to fight in their mystical war and is gonna bounce thank you ‘cause he just wants to go back to his previous life.

Stephen learned the Shield of Seraphim spell from Mordo. Mordo was his spellcasting tutor, apparently.

Stephen actually notices that his fight with Lucien in the astral dimension gave Nic West extra chips and he comments oh what a lucky day for Nic with the bitterness of a man who still thinks Nic West is banging Christine. He isn’t, Stephen, leave the poor man alone lmao

In the film, Christine is more mildly exasperated/relieved when she’s stitching Stephen up. In this novelization she’s got no time for his shit.

Stephen thinks she’s a “phenomenal doctor” :’)

Stephen thinks it feels good to apologize now and feels like a changed man :’)

Mordo has a sword-like relic that is strapped to his back. A concept that never made it to the film itself, it seems.

Stephen thinks he isn’t ready to become a master, feels like he’s just begun studying magic. Masters he respects and thinks are better than him? Wong and Mordo and literally no others.

In the film, Tilda does a wonderful job at portraying TAO just simmering with rage on the inside at Stephen’s fuckery but keeping a cool outside, because that’s exactly what happened. She’s so pissed Stephen actually thinks she will hit him before she changes the subject and leaves to get reinforcements.

During their you lack imagination/a spine thing, Stephen is ready to take a swing at Mordo (lmao good luck with that) but the zealots interrupt what would have been the world’s shortest fight.

Mordo cries in shock when Kaecilius stabs TAO ;__;

Stephen briefly acknowledges that Nic is a good doctor (but only because Christine said so) because fuck Nic West lmao

““Mordo won’t see it that way.”

“Mordo’s soul is rigid and unmovable, forged by the fires of his youth. He needs your flexibility, just as you need his strength. Only together do you stand a chance of stopping Dormammu.”

She was right. Strange knew it.”

Stephen knows he needs Mordo. He knows y’all.

This novelization only mentions that Christine kisses Stephen, but it doesn’t mention where? She still leaves to “her responsibilities” but without saying where is she kissing him it makes more ambiguous. Did they mean for her and Stephen to go back together at first and then said nah fam Christine deserves better in the actual film?

Stephen calls the Cloak a “good cloak” and that is very important ok

Wong’s relic is explicitly referred to as the Wand of the Watoomb.

Mordo is waiting for Stephen in the ruined library of KT, it’s not the NY sanctum. This was sort of clear in the film but still kind of ambiguous. But nope, it’s KT, where the doors to the sanctums are.

“His last conversation with her rang in his head again. The Ancient One was right. Strange needed Mordo’s strength and single-minded belief in right and wrong; Mordo needed Strange’s flexibility and ability to see different solutions to a problem.” :’)

““The bill comes due,” Mordo said. He sounded almost like a preacher, warning of the wages of sin. Strange wondered what had happened in Mordo’s past to harden him this way.

[…]

“You told me once to fight as if my life depended on it, because one day it might,” Strange reminded him. He could still see Mordo dancing through the air with the Vaulting Boots of Valtorr. “Well, today is that day. I cannot defeat them alone.”

Mordo looked at him quietly… and nodded. As Strange had known he would. He was a soldier who believed in his cause even when he no longer believed in his leaders.”

This is all sweet and all but the fact that Stephen refers to Mordo’s fighting as “dancing” just takes my brain to Mordo poledancing for Stephen and I am not ashamed.

In HK, the spell of the time stone/eye doesn’t work on Kaecilius and zealots for long because the dark dimension is too close and is interrupting the spell’s effectiveness. Nice plothole fix, there.

It’s unclear whether Wong is dead or not. Is he dead or just under the rubble, not dead but dying and agonizing? Up to you to cry about :(

Mordo calls after Stephen, and Stephen wishes he could explain what he’s about to do but there’s no time :(

Kaecilius’s eyes are actually sinking into his skull and more and more of his face is gray and peeling, btw. Would’ve been cool to see that in the film.

Stephen gets the idea of the Dormammu loop by remembering what Mordo told him about dimensional openings, spatial paradoxes, and time loops. Technically, Mordo can't get mad, Stephen got the idea from him lol

In this novelization, Kaecilius doesn’t say “He’s gone. Even Strange has left YOU and surrendered to his power.” He says, “He’s gone. Strange has left to surrender to his power.” So... what’s up with that? Is this a confirmation that Mordo is meant to be gay in the film? ‘cause I’ma take it as such.

Stephen thinks he saw something moving on the edge of the dark dimension, he thinks its living forms, citizens of the dark dimension. Shame we didn't get that in the film, it would've been a perfect way to tease Clea. It'd be sort of like in the comics, with Clea being impressed by the fact that Stephen dared to oppose Dormammu.

Stephen knows Mordo is hurting badly, because TAO was all he believed in and now he has nothing, but he doesn’t know how to make it hurt less :( (Stephen, you could have used your dick)

Stephen looks at Wong after Mordo leaves, but neither of them know what to do/say, so they just return to KT. And then they never regretted not talking Mordo out of his misery. Oh wait. Whoops!

Stephen is seduced by the Eye (or the time stone) again, it’s Cloaky who convinces him to put that shit down on its pedestal before you doom us all you fool.

“Mordo always had been a bomb waiting to go off, Pangborn thought. He was a black-and-white kind of guy. Either your best friend or your worst enemy.”

Mordo removes Pangborn’s “essence of power” whatever the fuck that means.

““Too many sorcerers.”

It was an argument he planned to have with Stephen Strange.…

Soon.”

Except it’s been like 5 years by now, so Mordo’s definition of “soon” is not really like ours.

And that’s it. That’s that novelization. Like I said, uninspired as fuck. I wish I could find the one you read :(

__________________________________

Whoa Nonny! Thank you for this! I haven’t gotten my hands on the novelization you read yet, but I’m hoping to get it on kindle. That’s where I got my version. It has the same publisher as yours, but with a different author. It looks like this.

Thanks for writing the post describing the novelization you read Nonny! I appreciate you taking the time and effort for sharing that with us :) Especially when not everyone can get their hands on that info. It’s pretty fascinating to me how much changes during the production of a movie, and honestly I’m pretty happy we got what we did. Especially in terms of Mordo. They significantly softened and warmed him up from the initial plan it seems. And I love that so much *swoons*

#ask and answer #strordo #stephen strange/karl mordo #novelizations #thank you nonny #doctor strange #stephen strange #karl mordo #submission

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longroadstonowhere · 6 years ago

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okay y’all, is my birthday and i have to spend a majority of it at work, so i’m gonna drop this new chapter of wild child on y’all this morning

it’s a bit short, but as i’ve mentioned before, the rest of the story has been rough drafted, so i should be publishing it all within the next month or so (as evidenced by how there’s actually a set number of chapters for the fic now) - the only reason it might take a bit longer is cuz i like when numbers match up so i might spring for some kind of significant date, haha

(1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 ao3)

"This place is huuuge!" John said, his words distorted a little by the window he was currently smashing his face against. It was still early enough in the evening that he could see how the roads leading up to the airport's parking garages twisted around each other, making complicated loops that had to run around the whole complex. He could almost pretend they were on the edge of an epic car chase, one that would have his dad swerving between lanes, taking supersharp turns to throw off their pursuers until the only course left... was straight onto the tarmac!

Distracted by trying to compose the perfect high-octane music score, John didn't realize his dad was saying something to him until he was almost done talking. "... Thankfully we'll be able to park fairly close to our terminal, since getting from one end of the airport to the other can be quite the journey, It wouldn't do to miss our light due to such a silly thing as that."

"Uh, yeah, sure, that would probably be real bad... So hey! What kind of plane are we flying on, anyway? Is it one of those super cool double-decker ones? It'd be so awesome to climb a flight of stairs when you're actually flying waaaay above the clouds!"

His dad chuckled. "Sorry John, but I'm afraid those kinds of plans are usually reserved for international flights, not domestic ones."

"Oh." There went another possibility to reenact some cool movie moments. "Well, whatever kind of plane it is, it'll still be really cool to really be flying. Do the tops of clouds look different from the bottoms? I mean, they look kinda different in the movies, but movies make a lot of stuff look different."

"It depends on the kind of cloud," Jade piped up from the backseat. She and Bec were sprawled out together, soaking up every minute they could before they had to get on the plane separately - Bec was way too big for any airline to let him ride with the passengers, sadly. "I got to see a few different formations on our trip from the island, and the cumulus clouds looked pretty much the same from above and below, but the stratus clouds will look way different cuz the sun hits them in different ways."

John twisted around in his seat as he said, "That's right, I totally forgot you've been in a plane before, Jade! That's so cool!" Then he frowned. "Wait, that means you got the chance to fly before I did. That's lame."

Jade laughed and stuck her tongue out at him. She showed a little too much of her teeth when she did, so it looked kinda weird, but John was almost impressed she'd picked up such a classic childish expression, Of course, he had to shower her how the pros did it.

John's masterful expression provoked Jade into making another face back at him, and soon the two were embroiled in a contest to see who could make the most unhumanly ridiculous face possible. By the time Dad parked the car, no victor had been declared, but John was in physical pain from all the laughing.

Security lines were boring. And slow. No wonder movie heroes always skip them, John thought as he waited for his dad to finish collecting all the stuff he'd had to take out of his pockets. He'd let Jade and John go first, which was probably the gentlemanly thing to do, but it also meant they had to wait when all John wanted to do was run around and look at all the neat airport shops. He bounced in place until, finally, his dad had tied his shoelaces into the perfect knot. "Our gate is A5," he said, with a gesture of his hand, which clearly meant 'go ahead'.

John didn't ask twice - he was off like a shot, tearing past the other people in the hall on the way to their gate. He didn't get very far, though - as he turned a corner, he stopped short, in awe of the sight before him.

He'd entered what looked like the main hub for all the branches of the airport, a two-story open room with tables and chairs scattered around, a few of them taken up by travelers getting in a quick bite. The truly spectacular thing, however, was that the entire outer wall was made of glass, letting him see the airplanes as they trucked around between gates. The sun was almost done setting, but it still scattered a few golden beams across the sky. It was one of the most beautiful things John had ever seen in real life.

Staring out the window, John didn't notice his dad catching up to him until his hand came down on his shoulder. He looked up into his dad's face, who smiled and said, "Exciting, isn't it?" John just nodded, words failing him for once. "We'd best make our way to the gate, then. Wouldn't want to miss our flight, after all."

Paul leaned back in his seat and rolled his shoulders, taking a break from reading his novel. Checking his watch, it looked like they were about two thirds through their flight. He'd taken a small nap earlier, but he'd never been able to sleep well outside of a bed.

He glanced at John on his left, who was leaning against the wall of the plane, completely unconscious. It even looked like he was drooling a little. Paul grinned and took out his Blackberry to get a quick photo. These doohickies are certainly more convenient than carrying a proper camera around, even if the pictures aren't quite as good, he mused. It looked like John was taking his first flight well, though.

On his other side, Jade also seemed to be sleeping, though it was hard to tell if she was truly out or just keeping very still. She had adapted to life in this country extraordinarily well so far, but she still held many unconscious habits from her time living alone.

Paul sighed to himself. Uncle Harley, some of the decisions you made... I just can't understand them. His mother had never gone into much detail about why Uncle Harley never visited, she'd just said he needed a lot of space. He'd sent a couple letters filled with tales of his adventures, which his mother had used as bedtime stories, but they never had much in the way of personal sentiments, and he couldn't recall his mother sending any back. He'd never questioned that distance growing up - that's just how family was sometimes.

Now, though, he couldn't help but wonder how his mother had really felt about Uncle Harley's long absence from her life. Did he even know about me? Paul suddenly thought. He'd never met the man, after all, and he'd started his adventurous lifestyle long before Mother adopted him. As far as Uncle Harley knew, his sister had spent the rest of her life alone.

Paul shook his head, forcing the morose thoughts away. That's in the past now, for better or worse. He had to focus on taking care of Jade, not musing on what had led Uncle Harley to keep her isolated on that island. It was hard to think of the future, though, knowing what the most likely outcome of this trip was.

He looked at Jade's still face and took a deep breath. I have to do what's best for Jade. No matter what. With that resolve in his heart, he leaned back and closed his eyes, hoping for a little more rest before their trip together ended.

Jade stared out the car's window, watching the landscape race by. Bec was draped halfway across her body, making up for the time together they'd lost because of that airline's policies on traveling with dogs. The pilot on her flight off the island had been much more reasonable.

Then again, that had probably been considered "special circumstances". It still would've been nice to fly with him again.

Next to her, John was still chattering excitedly about their trip thus far. He'd been pretty groggy when they got off the plane, but all his usual energy had come back in a flash when he'd noticed the professional driver waiting for them with a sign that said "Egbert". Apparently he'd been sent by the woman they were here to visit, Doctor Lalonde. John had just been excited to have such a "celebrity moment" happen to him, as he'd repeated several times during the car ride thus far.

Mr. Egbert was listening to John from his position in the front seat, so Jade didn't feel too bad about keeping her attention on the world outside their car. It definitely seemed more... wild than the area around John's house. Not the same as her island, of course, but the only real sign of people was the road they were traveling on. Otherwise, it was all trees and rocks as far as she could tell. It would be nice to spend time here.

After some time, the car pulled around a curve and revealed a majestic, sprawling house nestled into a large clearing. Jade pressed against the window, trying to catch as many details as possible. "... Is that a river running through that place?" she asked, unable to trust her own eyes.

"Seriously??" John stretched toward her side of the car, trying to look out her window, but the car turned to drive toward the house before he could get a good view. "That sounds super awesome! Like a supervillain's lair! Hey, wait, she's not really a supervillain, right?" John turned towards his dad again. "Dad, we're not visiting a supervillain, right?"

Mr. Egbert chuckled. "Son, Dr. Lalonde is a kind and generous woman. She was the one who paid for our flight here, you know, and arranged for the excellent service of our chauffeur here." He nodded respectfully to the driver, who murmured "Thank you kindly" in response.

As the car pulled up to the house, John kept talking. "I dunno, supervillains can be really charming, and this could all be some kind of trap. Paying for the hero's transportation is a total villain move."

Now Mr. Egbert frowned. "John, your imagination is a powerful tool, but while we are Dr. Lalonde's guests, I trust that you'll treat her with respect. Understood?"

John slumped back in his seat. "Fiiiiiiiine." Quieter, he said, "That's way less cool, though."

When the car stopped, Jade let Bec out first so he could get some of the kinks out of his legs. He'd had to stay in that traveling container for a really long time. For her part, Jade got out and looked up at the house again. It was a pretty ridiculous house, really - it looked way bigger than any person really needed, and building your house on top of a river just seemed unnecessarily dangerous. There was something about the place that felt... weirdly familiar, though...

Jade's attempts at placing that feeling were interrupted by a loud voice from the house. "Oh! My! GOSH! You're here! You're all here!" A woman with short blonde hair wearing some kind of labcoat dress was rushing down the path towards them. "Please, please, let Noah take care of your luggage, you've had a long trip and I'm sure you're all completely exhausted!" She came closer showing all her teeth in a wide grin, and Jade had to suppress the urge to run up a tree. She'd gotten better with figuring out when people were just being friendly, but...

Fortunately the woman seemed to be focused on Mr. Egbert for now - they were talking about how the trip went, which seemed useless to her, but whatever kept the doctor's attention off her for now would work. She watched as Bec poked around the landscape, staying within a fairly close distance in case he was needed. It was good she was able to bring hi, She'd have to thank Dr. Lalonde for that, right? Mr. Egbert would probably expect that of her.

"Oh, what am I doing, blabbing your ears off out here! Come in, please, we'll all have plenty of time to get to know each other." She gestured toward the front door and they all slowly made their way into the house.

#wild child jade #man feels so good to finally be getting this part of the story out there #also evidence for me caring about significant dates: could've published this yesterday but i wanted to post the new chapter on my birthday

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your-dietician · 3 years ago

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The Bucks’ path to the NBA Finals — The Undefeated

New Post has been published on https://tattlepress.com/nba/the-bucks-path-to-the-nba-finals-the-undefeated/

The Bucks’ path to the NBA Finals — The Undefeated

There’s a well-known comment in Wisconsin when it comes to the hometown Milwaukee Bucks’ chances in a given playoff series: Bucks in six.

What started as a fool-hearted, yet enduring proclamation by then-Bucks guard Brandon Jennings ahead of a 2013 first-round series matchup with the “Big Three” Miami Heat – (“I’m sure everybody is writing us off but I see us winning the series in six,” Jennings said at that year’s Wisconsin Sports Awards) – morphed over the years into a rallying cry for a team that hasn’t made it to the NBA Finals in nearly half a century. Sometimes close, but never close enough.

But in the past eight years, starting just a few weeks after Jennings’ doomed prediction (the Heat swept the Bucks in 2013) with the drafting of a lanky kid out of Greece named Giannis Antetokounmpo, the Bucks have revamped, reconfigured, restarted and rebuilt themselves into an actual title contender that no longer lives on the fringes of the playoffs.

On Saturday night, after back-to-back years of underperforming in the postseason, the Bucks clinched the Eastern Conference title with a 118-107 victory over the Atlanta Hawks, fittingly reaching their first NBA Finals since 1974 in six games.

And it was all without Antetokounmpo, who has been sidelined with a hyperextended left knee since the third quarter of Game 4. For a team that prides itself on playing as a complete unit, rather than a Gladys Knight & the Pips-style one-man show, the Bucks leaned heavily on their two other stars, Jrue Holiday and Khris Middleton. The duo combined for 59 points, 13 rebounds and 16 assists, with Middleton overcoming a poor first half (five points and five turnovers) to drop 23 points in the third quarter.

“Khris carried us there for a lot of it, just leaving his heart out there,” Holiday said. “Just kind of like if we’re going to go down, we’re going to go down on his shoulders. I’m riding with him, riding right into the Finals.”

Making it easier for the Bucks on Saturday was that Young, who bruised a bone in his foot during Game 3, was clearly still hobbled. The third-year guard declined to attack the paint and had his passing lanes clogged up, leading to him starting the first quarter with nearly as many turnovers and personal fouls (three) as minutes played (four). At one point, Young shook 7-foot center Brook Lopez for an open look from atop the key but uncharacteristically passed the ball away.

“I still have pain. It’s going to be like this for at least a couple more days, so I knew I wasn’t going to be able to feel 100%,” Young said after the game. “So I was going to go out and at least try and try to do it again.”

As the game wore on, Young became less timid, but aside from another breakout game from guard Cam Reddish (21 points, 6-of-7 on 3s), the Hawks weren’t enough for Milwaukee. While the Bucks were failed by poor shooting, lack of energy and hustle in the two games they lost in this series, those were their keys to victory on Saturday. The Bucks outgained the Hawks in 3-pointers (17-12) and rebounds (46-43) and committed one less turnover, the type of complete performance that is needed out of a championship winner.

“We needed everybody. I think that’s the best part about it. We needed something from everybody,” P.J. Tucker said. “Our bench was amazing all series, all playoffs, everybody on our team gave something.

“Giannis goes out, Bobby [Portis] has been great, everybody came in and fought hard the entire series. It just shows our team. It just shows the guts of our team.”

Giannis Antetokounmpo (left) and Khris Middleton (right) celebrate as Eastern Conference champions.

David Dow/NBAE via Getty Images

Before this season, this Bucks team wasn’t able to put it all together at just the right time.

As the team’s production began to rise during the 2017-18 season, when Antetokounmpo started to show flashes of the superstar he would soon become, so did their expectations. The Bucks finished the next two seasons with the best record in the league, but were dispatched from the playoffs early by two hungrier teams that went on to win the East.

They were then, fairly or not, labeled as a “regular-season” team, meaning they could be successful during the regular season, but once the playoffs hit, they didn’t have the mental toughness and/or strategy to be championship caliber.

It also didn’t help that Milwaukee ran into players who decided to go supernova during the playoffs. In 2019, Kawhi “Cyborg” Leonard, on one good leg, snatched the heart from the Bucks as the Toronto Raptors overcame a 2-0 deficit to run off four straight wins on their way to an NBA championship. Last season, inside the Walt Disney World bubble, Jimmy Butler willed the lower-seeded Miami Heat into a second-round upset of the Bucks ahead of their own run to the Finals. Even this postseason, the Bucks had to battle the offensive brilliance of Kevin Durant and Young, at least until the latter’s series-altering ankle injury in Game 3.

In the past, when the pressure reached a precipice, everyone from the coaches to players seemed to falter. Antetokounmpo and Coach Mike Budenholzer couldn’t figure out how to scale the “wall” defenses built. Middleton, while brilliant when he’s on (particularly against the Boston Celtics), would suddenly develop a case of the yips in pivotal postseason moments. Shots that would fall for role players wouldn’t fall anymore, no matter Budenholzer’s “let it fly” mantra.

“It’s adversity,” Pat Connaughton said of losing in the playoffs the past two years. “I would say it’s unfortunate, but you learn a lot from losing. You really look yourself in the mirror and there’s two ways you can go: You can hang your head about it or you can use that as motivation to get better and fix the problems that you have and continue to work every single day and understand that it’s a process.”

But this season and its playoffs were different. The Bucks were more flexible in everything from their roster construction to their offensive sets. Those who couldn’t step up in crunch time in the past were suddenly inheritors of the clutch gene.

“Every team has a different journey and every team has to go through different things,” Budenholzer said. “… I think just like every team in the league, when this group hasn’t been able to advance, hasn’t been able to continue, it’s hurt. It’s been hard. The offseason, the guys have put the work in, the players have put the work in. And I’m impressed with what they have done, really every year, but coming into this year.

“But there’s still work to be done.”

Budenholzer has been heavily criticized over the past two years for his failure to adjust in the playoffs. According to various reports, his job was on the line if the Bucks weren’t able to make tangible progress in the playoffs. But he has made the necessary changes to get his team to the Finals. And it was general manager Jon Horst who helped construct a roster that emphasized both 3-pointers (as he had in the past) but also toughness, both the physical and mental variety.

Portis, who signed to a two-year, $7.5 million deal in November, made all the difference in Game 5 (and had the Fiserv Forum crowd in a frenzy during the blowout in Game 2). Tucker, who was traded to the Bucks in March, played strong defense on Durant in the second round. Jeff Teague, who played for Atlanta for parts of eight seasons, made three 3s in Game 6. Bryn Forbes, who cooled off in the later rounds, outscored Butler in the first round. Connaughton grabbed offensive rebounds and hit timely 3s. Lopez, Donte DiVincenzo, the list goes on.

As for the Bucks’ Big Three of Antetokounmpo, Middleton and Holiday (acquired in November from the New Orleans Pelicans), each had their mental breakdowns and struggles during both the past and these playoffs, but when the team needed them to help close out games, they showed up: Middleton’s game winner against Miami in the first round, Antetokounmpo in crunch-time minutes against Brooklyn in the second round, and Holiday in the last two games without Antetokounmpo.

The team that could start strong but never finish has finally vanquished that label. And it’s poetic that it was Middleton who led the Bucks to this Finals run.

Middleton has grown from an afterthought in the 2013 trade that shipped Jennings off to Detroit and brought Middleton, Brandon Knight and Viacheslav Kravtsov to the Bucks (Middleton was referred to as one of “two other players” at the time of the trade), to the certified closer on a team that is four wins from winning its first title since 1971.

As the Bucks tanked and rebuilt around Antetokounmpo at the beginning of last decade, Middleton was there for the rough days of sub-.500 records, missed playoffs and lottery picks. Through his game winner against Miami, his dual 38-point games against Brooklyn and Atlanta, and his second-half outburst on Saturday, Middleton sums up just how far these Bucks have come.

“Honestly, it’s been a long journey, but it’s been a great journey,” Middleton said after the game. “It’s been worth it. We put ourselves in position to be in the NBA Finals. After winning 15 games in our first year here and seven years not making the playoffs to the last two years thinking we had a chance and just didn’t do enough and now we’re here.

CC Sabathia on the pressure Black athletes face to play baseball ‘the white way’ Read now

Devin Booker’s dad pushed him to go farther, go further, go harder Read now

Olympian Michael Norman puts adversity behind him as he heads to Tokyo Read now

“This is what we’ve worked for.”

Martenzie is a writer for The Undefeated. His favorite cinematic moment is when Django said “Y’all want to see somethin?”

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notwhelmedyet · 7 years ago

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IDW Character + Relationship Spectacular (1/2) - tf fanfic census 2017 (pt 5)

Okay. Oh boy. This is a big one. Are you a person who’s ever wondered how much fanfic there is about various IDW characters or pairings? Because if so, this post (and part 2 once I finish it) is the thing for you.

(So so many graphs ahead)

Initial Caveats

If you have a hard time reading any graphs, there’s a separate image post of just the graphs: pt 1 & pt 2

I can only query what people have tagged on ao3, not what they’ve actually written! So throughout this piece I’ll be given counts of works tagged with a character or a relationship that also are tagged with ‘IDW Generation One’. There may well be more of that relationship/character that aren’t under the IDW fandom tag, but I can’t distinguish them from works for other series.

Also, like, I found all this data by searching the database and sometimes counting works by hand. Numbers may be wrong and characters/pairings may be missed. Sorry if I forgot about your favorites!

Who Shows Up

Okay, so I tried to find the number of works that tagged each character...but there are too many characters. So instead we’re going to look at any characters tagged in >50 works. (Sorry to Nightbeat (47), Pipes (30), Lug (10) etc.)

I’m sure there’s something in here to surprise everyone and I don’t want to belabor the point by bothering you with all my observations but:

Drift : Wow.

Swerve : Is listed before Optimus Prime, which is impressive

Somebody needs to go and write some more fics about Anode and Lug, they’ve only got 10 each and it’s sad. :(

What stood out to you?

So...What Kind of Fics Did People Write About Them?

Gathering full ratings breakdowns for all of these folks would have been really time consuming. Instead, I found you the percentage of fics that are explicit (to find the percentage of works that are probably smut) and the percent that are Gen (the category, not the rating. Thus, works that do and do not have relationships).

There are a heckin lot of characters and that makes for crowded graphs, so let’s look at the outliers. In aggregate, 29% of IDW fic is rated explicit. Purple is percent explicit, red is percent otherwise.

Well, I guess evil is sexy, y’all.

And being married (or a cat) (or a dinosaur) (or a gangly bird with claws) is less sexy.

Okay, now let’s look at Gen (theoretically works with no relationships) versus non-Gen works. This isn’t going to tell us who’s more likely to be in a relationship precisely - it might tell us who’s more likely to be a background character in shipping versus nonshipping works. But interesting nonetheless. In aggregate, 19% of IDW works are Gen and 81% are otherwise.

Let’s look at who’s most likely to be in a fic with shipping. Red is Gen, purple is otherwise.

...this is not a very surprising chart, on the most part. Or maybe I’ve looked at too many ao3 tags while data gathering and I’ve lost all capacity to be surprised.

Looking at the outliers on the other end, there’s a lot of the same names as bots who were infrequently in E rated fics. We’ve lost some of the romantics, though: Rewind, Chromedome, Chromia and Skids were all low in E rated fics but are higher in Gen works.

Okay. But I’m Here for the Relationships.

cool, cool, that’s fair. Let’s start out by looking at the ‘top 10′ most popular relationships, the ones AO3 lists in the side bar.

Far and away, there’s more Dratchet fic than any other pairing. Which is a surprise is probably nobody. Let’s see how the ratings shake out for these ten. (I’ve swapped some pairs to abbreviations because they were getting cut off otherwise)

Here we can see that Cyclonus/Tailgate and Chromedome/Rewind are the only pairings that have more than 50% gen or teen works. On the other hand, Megatron/Optimus and Drift/Rodimus are both about 47% explicit.

If we look at median fic length we get some really weird data. Specifically, Megatron/Optimus and Jazz/Prowl are both twice as long on average than any of the other top ten pairings.

But maybe you’re curious about the outliers - what’s the longest/most popular fic focusing on each of these pairings? I’ve excluded from this search works that don’t list the pairing first and any sort of short story collection. Numbers are rounded to the nearest 50.

Well, um, there’s a bit of an outlier in our outliers chart here. Simpatico has the shortest longest fic, at under 25K, while MegOp’s longest fic is over 300K words.

But when we look by hits, that extra length for MegOp and Jazz/Prowl doesn’t seem to have made much of a difference. (The longest, most hits and most kudos fics may or may not be the same story, I honestly didn’t write it down and don’t know)

This chart is just weird as heck, honestly. CDRW is very popular in terms of number of stories and number of hits, but is the bottom of the kudos list when we look at top fics. We could theorize but I generally try not to get too deep into trying to psychoanalyze readers as a collective. (tis a dangerous road)

Let’s instead take a sharp right turn and look at when these fics were posted. If you find the median update time for a pairing, you’ll know the date which divides the most recent 50% of fics from the older 50% of fics. From here we can see which pairings gained popularity relatively recently.

...and probably nobody can read that timeline cause it’s tiny. Let’s look at the left half first.

These are the pairings that gained popularity fairly early - 50% of all Drift/Wind, Drift/Perceptor and Chromedome/Rewind fics were published before June ~15 of 2015. Those mostly make sense, but I admit I was surprised that Cygate, Simpatico and Drift/Rodimus had their halfway points so early.

On the other hand we’ve got the median dates that are relatively later. Megatron/Rodimus is apparently a fairly recently popular ship - 50% of fics were updated after October of 2016. Drift/Ratchet is similarly recently popular. Megatron/Optimus is kinda middling, falling about in the center of the chart.

Prowl/Jazz is a weird one. I’m told that Prowl/Jazz shippers are often folks who’ve come from other iterations still holding onto that ship, but in that case I’d have expected the median date to be earlier? But y’all do your thing, Prowl/Jazz shippers.

Okay, but what if Lynn (me) was really stupid and counted how many writers wrote each individual pairing? What kind of data would we get out of that?

Well, if that stupid eventuality were to come to pass we might see that...

There are a ton of people writing Dratchet, Cygate and CDRW (you know, for a tiny community. 100 is relatively large.) On the other hand, Megatron/Rodimus is a real niche writing crowd. Numbers may be slightly off! I literally counted these by hand!

But, of course, the top three have a lot more fics. So, if every writer had written an equal number of stories, how many would each have had to write? Well, in the case of Drift/Wing, Drift/Percy and Megatron/Rodimus, more than 3. Dratchet is also up there.

But, probably that’s not what happened. Probably most people wrote one or two fics and a very select few people wrote a hecking ton of them. So...how much of each pairing was written by the most prolific writer in the pairing?

The height of the bars indicates the count, the number indicates the percentage and holy Primus some of y’all are devoted as fuck. (of course, many of these fics are very short blahblahblah, we’re looking at numbers I can quantify, there’s no easy way to add up word count for individual writers)

Okay, that’s going to be it for today. Next up we’re going to look at every pairing (with more than 10 fics) involving a character with more than 50 fics. But this post is already way super long, so we had to split it up.

Other Census Posts

Pt. 1 - Quantifying TF Fanfiction between Adaptations

Pt. 2 - Relationship Scoreboard (All Series) - A Quick Look at the Most Popular Pairings

Pt. 3 - Quantifying Properties of IDW TF Fanfiction

Pt. 4 - IDW Reader Response

Pt. 5 - this post!

Pt. 6 - IDW Relationship Spectacular (2/2)

#overthinking it #mtmte #maccadam #on fanfiction #undescribed #mine

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twentyonepilotsficlibrary · 7 years ago

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Enemies to Lovers Masterlist

this is gonna be a long one, strap in y’all -Madi

God, hit me straight on by trinaizmy (15/? | 116413 | Explicit)

Josh is the star of his high school's basketball team- until the new kid moves in. But that's okay, Josh likes the competition. Thing is, so does the new kid.

Message Man by fairlyfloral (22/? | 67768 | Mature)

tyler is a youtuber, who never shows his face to the camera. videos and photos are his way to scream at everything surrounding him. his fanbase isn't big, but there are many people, who want to know about him more. he never answers any question asked towards him. he wants to be a different and mysterious one.

tyler is a stalker. josh doesn't know tyler exists.

use discretion.

Under the Covers by liliesandstags (28/? | 50977 | Mature)

They had a foolproof plan in place: Argue. Wait to be alone. Make out.

The rules were just as simple: Don't make it serious. Don't tell anyone. (and most importantly) DO NOT GET CAUGHT.

We Could Feel This Quiet With Each Other by snowfallen (3/3 | 38584 | Mature)

"Can... Can you talk slower?"

Does this guy need a hearing aid or something?

"I asked," Tyler spoke mockingly slow, "if you're deaf."

Josh raised an eyebrow and stood up from his seat, only being an inch taller than Tyler, yet more intimidating somehow. He squinted his eyes as he looked down at Tyler, "If you'd really like to know, I am. I wear earbuds all the time so people like you won't talk to me, because if I don't and they talk to me, and I don't answer them, they get all pissy, just like you."

You've been acting awful tough lately by nophundun (14/14 | 34221 | Teen and Up)

Tyler and Josh hadn't spoken since the summer after eighth grade. That was when Tyler got a girlfriend, Jenna. He started spending more time with Jenna and the basketball dicks. They talked less and less, Tyler was blowing him off more and more. When school finally started up again, Tyler has turned into one of those basketball dicks, but worse.

you belong to me (you must obey me) by maxmorwen (16/16 | 19435 | Not Rated)

hating someone more than Tyler Joseph and Josh Dun hate each other is not possible.

but what are those strange feelings they get?

somebody catch my breath by nutelladownpour (9/9 | 17573 | Mature)

Tyler didn’t belong in Sick Minds. Sick Minds was for druggies and nut cases, not a 17 year old boy with a promising future in basketball and a loving family. He shouldn't be locked up just because he gets sad sometimes.

Hole by edy (1/1 | 13031 | Mature)

"I swear to fucking God, Tyler," he yells at the top of his lungs, from his own apartment. His voice is loud and right above Tyler's head. "If I have to smell this shit wafting through the air vents for one more day, I'm gonna fucking report you."

somebody catch my breath by BlackCarousel, joshsdrumsticks (8/? | 12871 | Not Rated)

Josh had thought that he had gotten over the strong feeling of hatred toward the captain of the basketball team, general slacker and overly cocky boy that was Tyler Joseph, but evidently not.

i miss missing you now and then by snowfallen (1/1 | 12682 | Mature)

He can feel his mom glaring and shaking her head. Must be a relation thing, "Honey, you two are grown men now. I would expect you both to be civil, and you can even bring Pete," She sighs. Tyler bets she regrets inviting Pete.

"Oh, I'm plenty civil. But Josh? Nuh uh. Who stayed in every school night and studied and did not go to parties to get high and drunk? Not Josh, that's for sure!" Tyler argues.

Or, Tyler and Josh are old friends who hate each other until they make up over a summer trip to Sydney, Australia.

They're coming down the hall by tjstar (1/1 | 10950 | Mature)

Josh buys a house on the outskirts of Columbus, which turns out to be full of dark secrets. To prove he’s not insane, Josh starts a video blog about the paranormal events happening in his new place. One day, he gets a comment from TylerTheSkeptic channel which reads: ‘This is fake.’

Josh has never been more disappointed.

umm... ¿qué? by pretttysounds (4/4 | 10433 | Teen and Up)

In which Tyler is really good at Spanish, and Josh is... not.

Live or Die Like C'est la Vie by Basttop (3/? | 7010 | Mature)

Josh Dun is a hitman, a very good one that is. He never has gotten close to being caught, or getting killed himself. Enter Tyler Joseph, Josh’s latest target and the most handsome man he has ever seen.

Tyler Joseph is also a hitman, who just found out his last target was killed by someone else. And Tyler was kind of angry about that.

and i swear, i couldn't wait to get you off my chest bysnowfallen (1/1 | 6659 | Teen and Up)

The guy looks over to Josh, grimacing and hopping off the counter when Josh walks over, "You're a new face, hello," Josh greets with a smile. He tries not to frown when the brunet raises an eyebrow, clearly not impressed with anything, "I'm Josh," He finishes.

"Good for you," The guy says, turning his back to Josh and pulls the laughing ginger with him out of the kitchen. Josh chugs down his beer and throws the bottle into the trash, shaking his head with a glare. How rude.

Or, Josh is part of a fraternity and Tyler does not like frat boys at all.

Did You Get More Blood On The Floor? by CherryBombb (6/? | 6047 | Not Rated)

Two parents accidentally pledge their first born child off to two different witches. As a compromise, the two witches (warlocks, as they keep correcting) decide to raise the child together. Raise is maybe the wrong word though, as one of them (Tyler) doesn't know that babies aren't fireproof.

Shades of Purple by franticatlantic (1/1 | 5472 | Explicit)

Tyler is an artist. Josh is an artist. Tyler hates Josh.

'cause you're in my head (even if you want me dead) bypeterandhispirate (1/1 | 5137 | Teen and Up)

Tyler sure loves to kick Josh's ass.

get down on your knees and tell me you love me by snowfallen (1/1 | 4570 | Mature)

When he comes back with a coffee, Josh takes it instantly and sips it, "Is this caramel?" He cringes. Tyler nods slowly, perking an eyebrow in confusion, "I hate caramel. I wanted a mocha. Go get me a mocha," He orders.

"I literally just got back from there, and spent company money on that, and you complain about it because it's caramel?" Tyler scoffs.

Josh furrows his eyebrows, walking over to the trash can and dropping the coffee into the bin. Tyler huffs while Josh snickers, "Mocha, now, and maybe you could get something for yourself too; since whatever you bought drenched my shirt."

Or, Tyler gets a new job as an assistant at a huge publishing company, and he doesn't make a good first impression on the boss' son.

oh, fuck, are you (okay?) by peterandhispirate (1/1 | 3922 | Teen and Up)

All great romances start with hitting someone in the face with a door.

stop being such a (dick) by peterandhispirate (1/1 | 3539 | Teen and Up)

The last thing Josh wanted was to get involved with Tyler Joseph or his snapback-wearing buddies.

But here we are.

Lifestyles Of The Rich And Famous by olgushka (1/? | 3524 | Teen and Up)

Tyler is a famous musician. Josh is a desperate paparazzo.

I'm in love with Judas by Dun_with_Life (1/1 | 3026 | Teen and Up)

Josh and Tyler both belong to Biker gangs but one drink could change their outlook on each other completely

hey, asthma boy! by peterandhispirate (1/1 | 1875 | Teen and Up)

Josh was about this close to bruising his knuckles on Tyler Joseph's smug, pretty face.

But he didn't like punching people, so he'd have to resort to different tactics.

odi by Area50Dun (1/1 | 1793 | Explicit)

Tyler smirked. "Why? Is Joshie gonna cry?" He said in a baby voice, his bottom lip coming out into a pout. Tyler's tongue was sharp. So sharp he once brought Josh to tears, and he never let Josh forget it.

Or the one where they hate each other, fight then fuck.

Little Game by orphan_account (1/1 | 1758 | Not Rated)

5 times Tyler and Josh acted like they hated each other and the 1 time they gave up the act

better take it back, joseph by peterandhispirate (1/1 | 1423 | Teen and Up)

Needless to say, Josh wasn't pleased; he gnashed his teeth and narrowed his eyes and fucking growled, because why did Tyler Joseph, of all people, think he had the audacity to say that?

Going Down by edy (1/1 | 836 | Mature)

hey asshole, Tyler texts him, because that's how you talk to your arch nemesis. meet me at my house. you're going down tonight.

Fuck no, Josh replies, come to my house, asshole.

fuck you, Tyler says, i'll be there.

#twenty one pilots #joshler #joshler fanfiction #tyler joseph #josh dun #21p #21p fanfiction #bandom fanfiction #enemies to lovers masterlist #enemies to lovers #masterlist #masterlists #long post

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hiddenbeats247 · 5 years ago

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Spotlight - Sykamore

Our Spotlight - Sykamore. We got to sit down with this talented artist on the rise about her her new album California King. We are still in an uncertain time right now which means it's the perfect time to enjoy some new music.

In June of 2019, you were the FIRST person to sign a record deal with Music Knox Records which is amazing! Was there a lot of pressure and expectations there? I wouldn’t say so, I think there was mostly just excitement. When you start collaborating with a group of folks who are happy to indulge your vision and support you as an artist, I think you replace any pressure or expectation with enthusiasm to just create something you love, not necessarily something that’s going to hit a particular benchmark. It was a very liberating process, creatively. Sykamore is a stage name, and in a 2018 interview with Jim Barber of Music Life Magazine, you talk about the decision process between using your own name vs a stage name. Do you still feel as adamantly today about that decision? I definitely do! The name is the centerfold of the music - it represents the sound in all of its strength, tenacity, and organic qualities. It would feel incomplete to abandon the name at this point. Follow up question: For newer artists that are emerging, what are some words of advice you would give to them struggling to make that decision? If they felt strongly about adapting a stage name, I think I would tell them to choose one that accurately reflects their sound, since it is the first impression people have of you. I’d also tell them to pick something that’s easy to Google, so people don’t have to wade through other things to get to you. And finally, pick something you’re still going to like in twenty years. Back in November 2019, you were invited to play at the Stampede City Sessions. Tell us about that experience! So many amazing artists have been part of that, and their coverage extends all the way down into the Southern US as well. It was very special to me to come back home and play SCS - I have a lot of friends who have played it and so it was a fun right of passage experience for sure. I hope they continue on with it in the future and that it becomes the Canadian ‘Austin City Limits.’ I appreciate the efforts made by everyone involved to advertise and elevate it to where it is. You’ve mentioned that the Dixie Chicks are big influences of yours growing up. Personal anecdote, I am a huge fan of their album FLY, “Goodbye Earl” and “Sin Wagon” namely. What really connected you with them and what are some other artists you hold near and dear? Fly is an AMAZING album. Great choice. What I like about DC is their effortless balance between the modern and the traditional. So much of their early work especially, is laced with Western swing and bluegrass, yet lyrically and melodically they were so in the pocket of what any current person would be going through at the time. Some other artists I fangirl over are Lana Del Rey, LIGHTS, The Weeknd, Kacey Musgraves and Bruno Mars. If you had your chance at your dream collab who would it be and why? I think I would pick Lana Del Rey. Love all her original work but she’s also a very meticulous collaborator and every time she’s done a duet it’s been such an homage to their work as well as hers. I think we could come up with something really cool. Your song “Better Half” (2017) lets talk about that for a moment? Was that about someone specifically? Or more an amalgamation of past relationships? It’s a beautiful song by the way. Thanks so much. I’d say it was an anthem for healthy relationships, not any one in particular. I think the thing that makes relationships work is that give and take - when you’re down they pick you up and vice versa. It’s a team effort. And at the time I wasn’t hearing any songs about that, so I thought it was time to throw one in the mix. In 2015, you got a nomination for the Canadian Country Music Association Discovery Award, and then in 2018, you released your first EP “Self + Medicine”. Tell us about that journey? Getting nominated for Discovery was sort of my debut onto the Canadian country scene. I attended my first CCMA’s that year as a nominee, and made a lot of great connections with people on that side of the industry. Thomas Rhett performed my first year at the CCMA’s, and it was because of that performance that I followed him on Twitter, and ultimately met him and his dad who signed me to a publishing deal, which brought me to Nashville. Shortly after that move, I released my first EP. So honestly, the whole thing is very intricately connected. It’s funny how you can trace everything back like that. How was the process for the latest EP California King compared to the previous? Well, this is my first time releasing music on a record label so I’d venture to say it’s quite a different experience, speaking strictly from the standpoint of people involved. You have a lot of folks helping you out, brainstorming with you, and planning things in advance. It feels very organized, and ultimately everything feels just a little bigger this time around. Which I’m excited about - I want every release to be bigger than the last, if I can help it. What is the story you are trying to tell with your music? I write about a lot of things in my music but I think it’s safe to say I always write about the human condition in some form or another. I draw from my own experiences or from stories I’ve heard about others, and ultimately I always strive to create art that other people can relate to. This EP in particular I think is about navigating your own emotions - sometimes they’re flying high and sometimes they’re low. ‘California King’ as a body of work shows the bookends of our feelings and how you can hopefully find beauty and expression on both ends. Are there any tour plans in the works with the new release now available? Currently, the future of touring is in question a bit, with the COVID-19 situation we’re all going through. But I have some festival dates still booked for the summer, which I would love to keep on the books if I can help it. As far as tours, I’m hopeful for the latter half of this year. What do you want to say to your fans? I’d just like to say thanks for being so patient and waiting two years for new music - and I hope y’all enjoy “California King.” I loved writing it and I’m very happy to unveil the next chapter in my musical career. Spotlight - Sykamore is in the books and we want to say thank you to for taking the time to chat with us. Make sure you check out the album now!

Check out California King out now! Check out more from Sykamore https://sykamoremusic.com/ For your chance to get your own spotlight send us a message here Read the full article

#Interview #NewMusic #Spotlight

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ogwnostalgia · 4 years ago

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Title: The Accident

Author: Diane Hoh

Published: April 1991

Tagline: She has returned. From the dead.

Description: All she wanted was one week. Of Megan’s life.

She appears in Megan’s mirror one day, nothing more than a wispy, shadowy plume, glowing with an eerie light. Her voice is faint and hollow, like a distant echo. The voice of a young girl.

Strangest of all is her request.

“I beg you to trade places with me, Megan. For just one week. Let me live again.”

Megan is overcome with fear. Yet she is drawn to the shadow in the mirror, unable to look away. Fascinated by the oddly soothing voice, she listens to a tale of a horrible accident many years before. A tale she would never forget.

Gradually, Megan begins to realize that she has no choice. As terrified as she is, she knows she must make the trade . . . .

Nostalgia Time!

I remember checking this book out of the library and reading it when I was 13/14 and staying with my dad at my grandparents’ house. I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the first time I read it, but it’s the first time I specifically remember reading it. I have always loved this book! It hit my ghost-loving and body-swapping sweet-spots, and the idea of a ghost taking over your body while you just float around incorporeally was terrifying to me. Still kinda is, honestly.

I’m not sure if this book is going to hold up some 25 years after the last time I read it, but I really hope so. I’ve had some disappointment lately in this regard (looking at you, The Cheerleader), but Diane Hoh is usually pretty solid.

Recap

It’s a Wednesday in late May, unseasonably hot and humid, and we meet Jenny Winn, 16, her sister Barbie, 15, and their best friend Cappie Cabot (no word yet on age or gender) cutting their last class of the day to escape the un-air-conditioned high school. They pile into Jenny’s old yellow convertible (with fins! I’m kind of picturing Christine here, but yellow) to drive to the woods on the other side of the lake (what lake? Fuck you, there’s always a lake!), hoping it’ll be cooler there.

Cappie wishes they had Megan and Hilary with them, but says Megan probably wouldn’t cut class, and Hilary had something to do in the drama department after school. Barbie points out that Megan also had to prepare for her sixteenth birthday party.

Right about this time, they come to a curve in the road; a curve Jenny takes every day as it’s on the way from her house to the school. Only this time, the car’s steering wheel twists wildly in her hands while the tires remain straight. She stays calm enough to quietly tell Barb that something is wrong, but then panics and stomps on the gas instead of the brakes.

Yeah, uh, they smash into a utility pole. Which then breaks in half and topples onto the car. All three girls are screaming (so there’s the answer to Cappie’s gender); Barb is thrown free, away from the electrical wires hissing and spitting on the road. All she can see of Jenny is a bloody arm hanging over the driver’s door, and she can’t see Cappie at all.

Well, that was quite the first chapter.

Elsewhere, at a big old house off the lake, Megan Logan is trying on a party dress for her Sweet Sixteen party, which is eleven days away. She thinks the dress might need to be shortened by half an inch. Mm, yes, I’m sure that extra half-inch would make a noticeable difference.

We find out that Megan’s family inherited the house from Megan’s grandma when she died five months ago, and they’ve been living there for three months. No word on how long they’ve actually lived in this town, though, because it seems like Megan isn’t a new transplant or anything. Anyway, she misses Gram, because she was the only one in the family who understood Megan’s shy, dreamy ways.

She gets a call from Justin Carr, her friend and secret crush, and he asks if she’s ready for the bio quiz tomorrow. Justin also seems to understand her shy, dreamy ways, and Megan thinks about the time she was late to class because she stopped to pick wildflowers, and instead of laughing at her like literally everyone else in the class (rude!), he’d filled a beaker with water and placed the flowers on his lab table until they died.

They have some conversation, mostly about school, and Megan mentions people who are out at the lake, which seems to be basically in her backyard, and how it seems like they’re blowing off studying for the quiz. Or maybe they’re already prepared; you don’t know! Anyway, she mentions a girl named Karen Tucker, and Justin counters that the teacher, Old Ollie, won’t be fooled by Karen batting her eyelashes and claiming her book fell in the lake, because he’s not impressed by “those sexy types.”

Um, he’s a grown-ass teacher, and she’s a 15- or 16-year-old child, so I should fucking hope not, Justin.

Anyway, Megan gets feeling some kind of way about Justin referring to Karen as sexy, even though it really seemed to be meant derogatorily, and tries to get off the phone with him. She’s heard sirens somewhere beyond the lake (her window is open because her house also has no A/C), and the bad feeling she’s had all day kicks up again.

Megan thinks Justin is disappointed that she’s hanging up, but isn’t sure because he doesn’t explicitly tell her he’ll miss her when she hangs up. Jesus Christ, Megan. Then she kicks herself for not asking him to be her date to her party, and thinks that she’ll just go stag, even though her mom will throw a fit about it. Um. Since when is a birthday party an event that requires a date? Was I doing birthdays all wrong in my younger years?

As she’s getting ready to change out of the party dress, a news report comes on the radio about the crash Megan’s friends were in. The families have been informed, so the news announcer lets fly with the names of the injured. Megan is in shock. The reader finds out that “Cappie” is apparently short for “Catherine.” Also that she’s sixteen, so that answers all the unanswered questions I had about her. Except how the hell “Cappie” is short for Catherine.

Their other friend, Hilary, calls Megan to ask if she heard the news. We find out that Jenny had been so excited about the party because she’d asked Rob Lyle to go with her and he’d said yes. On the one hand, good on Diane Hoh for giving us proactive girls asking boys out! On the other hand, I can’t get over the fact that authors of teen novels in the 90s thought that everyone needed to have dates to their friends’ birthday parties.

They hang up, and Megan once again goes to take her dress off, then wonders if Jenny ever found the perfect dress she was searching for. This thought causes her to burst into tears. Suddenly, the radio falls silent, the temperature plummets, and the lights dim. Whatever could be going on, Megan wonders. Is it an earthquake?

Yeahhhh, I’ve been in multiple earthquakes, and those . . . are not things that happen during an earthquake. (Okay, maybe the lights dimming, but definitely not the rest of it.)

A voice asks Megan why she’s crying.

Megan freaks the fuck out, because she’s definitely alone in her room, y’all. She freezes, and the voice asks her again why she’s crying. She looks around until she sees a ghostly, gauzy blob in her full-length mirror. It’s vaguely human-shaped, but without arms or legs, and only light where the eyes and mouth should be. So, this, then?

Hmm. Probably not.

The figure introduces itself as Juliet, despite Megan telling her to go away and leave her alone. Juliet begs her to listen as Megan wraps herself up in the bedspread because ghosts bring their own A/C with them, even when they’re stuck in a mirror. Except she’s not actually stuck in the mirror; she’s just using it so Megan can see her.

Juliet explains that she and Megan have the same birthday, and that’s why she can talk to Megan, and she’s waited so long, you see. Juliet was born in 1930, and Megan thinks that was sixty-one years ago, but Juliet doesn’t sound like a sixty-one-year-old woman; she sounds Megan’s age!

Um, Megan? She’s clearly a ghost. Who probably died much younger than her sixties. Try to keep up, okay?

Indeed, Juliet goes on to tell Megan that she was pretty and popular, and died in a boating accident shortly before the huge sweet sixteen party she was supposed to have. Megan knows the area of the lake she died in; it’s a dangerous cove filled with jagged rocks and underwater undergrowth. Juliet couldn’t swim, but it wouldn’t have made much difference as she hit her head and was knocked unconscious as she fell out of the boat. By the time she was retrieved from the underwater tangles of weeds, she was dead.

Juliet sobs, and Megan starts crying again, too, telling Juliet it’s horrible, but going on to deny any of this is happening. Juliet seems distressed that she made Megan cry again, thanks her for listening, and leaves. The lights and radio come back on, and the room is swelteringly hot again. Megan goes to bed, telling herself that she’s actually been asleep for hours and dreamed the whole thing.

When she wakes up in the morning, she immediately looks to the mirror. It’s empty.

Whew, amirite? (I mean, no. I want ghosts in my stories, goddammit!)

The next morning is cloudy but still suffocatingly hot. Megan gets ready for school, still convinced Juliet was a dream, but casting nervous glances at the mirror the whole time she’s in her room. She rides her bike to school, and finds her friend Hilary Bench, who talked to Jenny and Barb’s mom. All the girls are alive; Barbie is okay because she was thrown free, so she’ll be leaving the hospital today; Cappie has a broken wrist; Jenny has a serious head injury and a shattered collarbone. Additionally, nobody was wearing a seatbelt because the car is too old to have them – Mr. Winn had them on order, but they hadn’t come in yet.

I’m not sure how old this car is supposed to be, honestly. I’m picturing 50s due to the fins, but I know my mom had a car in the 70s that didn’t come with seatbelts, although Google tells me that seatbelts were mandatory in all cars manufactured after 1968. It’s possible the car my mom was talking about was a few years old when she owned it. All I know is, my brother rode around in a car without seatbelts when he was little, and he was born in 1969, so . . .

Anyway.

Megan shudders – her friends could have died, just like poor Juliet! Except then she reminds herself that Juliet was just a dream. Mmhmm, keep telling yourself that.

All day she feels like someone is watching her, although she can’t catch anyone actually looking at her. At lunch, she, Justin, and Hilary try to figure out what made Jenny crash, and they speculate that the steering was messed with. The sheriff is investigating, so you know it’s SRS BSNS. Or at least as serious as authority figures are allowed to be in Point Horror.

Hilary is upset that Jenny won’t get to finish the school year with them, then changes the subject (apparently Hilary “could switch moods as easily as she changed a T-shirt”) to talk about Donny Richardson asking her out. Donny is a fucking loser, and she pretty much said that to his face. Megan is scandalized, but Hilary points out that if you’re nice to guys like Donny, they’ll never take the fucking hint. Then it’s revealed that Donny is basically a fucking incel “Nice Guy,” who stomped off like an R.L. Stine Angry Boi when Jenny politely turned him down, and blew up in a rage, yelling in the hallway at Cappie when she turned him down.

To cap this off, Justin defends him, saying he’s not a bad guy, but he’s got his limits like everyone else. Umm . . . Megan, your guy might be trash. He’s defending trash, so . . . I’ve not got a great feeling here.

It’s insinuated that Hilary suspects Donny of tampering with the car, but Megan feels sorry for him because his parents are divorced and he has to go back and forth between their houses. Fucking spare me. Hilary points out that her parents are divorced, too, and she’s not a fucking asshole, then goes on to say that Megan always feels sorry for people and just doesn’t understand that there are shitty people out there who are shitty for no other reason than that they’re shitty people. Which is a good point, and I’ll be thrilled if we can make it to the end of the book without the reason going on to be “because they’re crazy, and crazy people don’t need a reason for doing terrible things because the reason is that they’re CRAZY!” Please don’t let me down, Hoh.

In Art class, Megan notices a piece of red construction paper sticking out of her cubbyhole (. . . not a euphemism . . . ?), and thinks it’s weird because she hasn’t used red construction paper lately. Yeah, I don’t think I’ve used construction paper since kindergarten. Which, I believe, is the last time I had a cubby at school, too.

It’s a drawing (in crayon? I don’t think it’s explicitly said, but that’s what I’m picturing) of a yellow convertible with a horse wearing a beaded necklace in the driver’s seat; a candy bar and a bumblebee on the seat next to it; and a baseball cap and a green ball in the backseat. Megan figures out that the ball is a pea and puts it all together that it’s bar + bee and cap + pea, but can’t figure out why Jenny is drawn as a horse.

Okay. I hate these picture puzzles. I’ve always found them dumb, then I realized I’m just really bad at them for some reason. We’ve been watching a lot of this game show channel that has one of these old picture-puzzle game shows, and sweet rollerskating Jesus am I bad at these puzzles. But also, their puzzles are just badly done. Anyway. I probably would have looked at this and said, “Okay, a horse with a pearl necklace . . . this is probably too dirty for a teen thriller in the 90s . . . chocolate hornet? someone really hates women, because he keeps depicting them with things that sound like “whore” . . . hat ball? Hat . . . marble? Hat pea? Happy? What does an imaginary blue unicorn voiced by Patton Oswalt have to do with anything . . . I give up.”

Megan’s stream of consciousness was a lot more coherent than mine.

Megan can’t figure out why someone left this for her, and thinks that if it’s a joke, someone has a bizarre sense of humor. She crumples it up and throws it away, but retrieves it later as she’s leaving class. She doesn’t know why, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Man. I feel like everyone’s worst decisions ever can probably be prefaced with “it seemed like a good idea at the time.”

When Megan gets home, she very trepidatiously enters her room, peering suspiciously at the mirror. It’s empty. She goes about her business, and when her back is turned, she hears someone ask,

“What are you doing, Megan Logan? Is it something fun?”

Megan is horrified. I am amused. Juliet is approaching this like an annoying younger sibling, all “What’cha doing? Where ya going? Can I come? Can I play too? Huh huh huh, can I? Huh?”

Please keep amusing me, Hoh.

Juliet explains that she only wants to talk; after all, Megan is so kind and open-minded and etc, etc, etc. Juliet has been waiting forever for someone who can hear her, because it turns out she can’t talk to anyone unless they share her birthday, live near the lake where she died, and have a kind heart and open mind. That’s quite the list of requirements. Fucking hell, what sort of ghost lore is this?

Megan was easier to reach because she’s a dreamer, and Juliet has been watching her ever since she found out they share a birthday, because she just had to know everything about Megan! Oh. You have a ghost stalker. Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool. No way this can go horribly wrong.

Juliet mentions something about “trading” and then walks it back, saying never mind; Megan isn’t ready yet. Nothing piques curiosity like being cryptic!

Megan is still in denial, and Juliet tells her that Megan’s grandmother, Martha, WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?! would want her to believe in Juliet, because didn’t she always tell her that anything is possible?

It suddenly occurs to Megan that Juliet may have known Martha; Juliet confirms that everyone knew the Logans, but she didn’t know Martha well. She thinks she was like Megan – quiet and dreamy. Then she changes the subject to how sad she is because Megan gets to have parties, dances, and boyfriends, and she never did.

Uh, didn’t you brag about being supes popular earlier, Juliet?

Megan tears up, thinking about how awful it would be to die so young; Juliet applies more cryptic pressure, talking about not being at peace, and if only – but no, it’s too soon, Megan isn’t ready to hear it yet. Megan of course argues that she is ready to hear it, whatever “it” is, so Juliet “reluctantly” explains it to her.

Basically, if Megan will trade places and let Juliet live life as Megan for a week, then she can finally be at peace. Megan is speechless. I am skeptical. Juliet is “apologetic” and leaves Megan to consider the proposal. We’re left with the impression that Megan sits staring at the empty mirror for hours afterward. Um. Maybe someone should check on her . . . ?

At some point in the evening, Megan breaks her mirror reverie to talk on the phone with Hilary. Hill tells her that the sheriff said the car was absolutely tampered with, and she overtly accuses Donny, saying that every girl in school has rejected him and maybe he hates them all. I mean, probably, because that’s what incels do – blame women for them being undateable. Hilary says that Donny works in his brother’s garage, so he’d know how to mess with a car, and Meg points out that nearly everyone at school took auto shop, including most of the girls. Rock on, but also I wonder if this means most of the boys took home ec. Basic life skills shouldn’t be gendered.

Hilary snarks back that she doesn’t know what Megan learned in auto shop, but her classes didn’t include learning how to murder someone by sabotaging their car.

Hilary might be my exact brand of asshole.

After they hang up, Megan goes around having angst over the accident, and Juliet’s situation, and remembers that she cut art class on Tuesday, so the drawing could have been there before the accident, making it a warning rather than a cruel taunt. Okay. I’m not sure why all the Point Horror villains want to announce their evil intentions before they do the thing, but it’s the trope, so here we are.

She wonders if Sheriff Toomey would take her seriously, but figures he won’t since it’s a fucking crayon (confirmed!) drawing. She decides to consider it some more before running off to be laughed out of the police station. She also thinks that he’s a nice man, but we in the real world are all too aware that #ACAB, so. (Although thinking of Point Horror cops as copaganda amuses me greatly. They’re all incompetent assholes who look at very obvious threats and dismiss them as harmless pranks. If only that were the worst thing real life cops did.)

Juliet shows up in the mirror again, bringing her blast of air conditioning with her. Well, that’s one way to beat a heat wave. Megan is still disbelieving, even as Jules gives her more details about the switch. Megan would be incorporeal, Juliet would be in her body, and no one would be able to see or hear Megan when she’s in that state. I mean, Megan can “see” and hear Juliet, so I have my doubts about that, but okay.

Juliet’s sadness and yearning is getting to Megan, who keeps comparing her situation to her friends’, and Jules applies pressure to the spot – there’s this time crunch; she won’t be able to trade even a minute after Megan’s birthday, because they have to be the exact same age! Okay . . . these are some wack rules, but since I like Diane Hoh, I’ll roll with it.

Megan tells Juliet about the accident, and how it was really attempted murder, and she could be next, so now might not be the best time since Juliet could possibly be murderized while in Megan’s body. I’m not so sure why everyone in town believes this one car wreck is the prelude to a murder spree, but . . . sure. Juliet says that she’s willing to risk it, because this is her only chance – if Megan says no, she’ll disappear forever!

Wait. Does that make sense? You’ve been a ghost for, what, 45 years? Why would you suddenly disappear now? Once you find someone with your birthday, who will listen to you, that’s it? That starts the Disappear Into Nothingness countdown clock?

WTF is up with these bizarre-ass arbitrary rules, guys?

Megan’s like, that’s all well and good that you’re willing to take that risk with my body, but what would happen to me if you got my body killed, and Jules reassures her that she can sense evil in people, so she’d actually be safer! What. Megan realizes this means Juliet could maybe find out who tried to kill her friends, and is that much closer to saying yes. Also, oh, the town is called Lakeside. That’s original.

Juliet is thrilled by Megan’s “maybe,” and peaces out to let Megan consider it more. Megan refuses to think about it at night, because it’s too scary, then goes to bed and sleeps like shit.

The next day, Megan gets a ride to school with Justin instead of riding her bike, for reasons unexplained. She tries to tell him what’s going on, but when she asks him what he thinks happens to a person after they die, if their spirit hangs around, he tells her those are strange questions. I mean, not really? Most people at some point wonder about that? Then Justin doubles down on being an ass by interrupting Meg when she says something weird is going on at her house. According to him, what’s actually weird is someone screwing up Jenny’s steering, and additionally, Megan’s house is probably the one place in town where weird things aren’t happening!

First off, this is not an example of a good listener. Either Megan doesn’t know what it means to be a good listener, or Hoh has forgotten that was one of Justin’s personality traits. Second, I’m sorry, did I miss all the other weird stuff going on in town? One car wreck is hardly cause for town-wide panic. Third, just fuck off, Justin. I think my earlier assessment was right – throw the whole man away, Megan.

Oh, apparently one of the things Justin likes about Megan is that she’s not like the other girls, because she really listens to him.

Megan, please set Justin on fire, please and thank you.

Somehow it’s brought up that Megan has also turned Donny down for a date, and he took it “okay” when she said “no, thank you.” There’s a whole Tumblr blog showing screencaps of women saying “no thank you” to men on dating sites, and they rarely take it “okay.” In fact, here’s one of my experiences from OKCupid a few years back (this guy was pretty notorious on Tumblr dating blogs around 5 or 6 years ago, so I’d looked up his profile out of curiosity. Apparently he messaged everyone who looked at his profile . . . )

Ah yes. I harangued and abused you, surely this should make you interested in talking to me?!

I just spent way too long searching for those screencaps, by the way.

Anyway, back to Justin and Megan.

Justin tells Megan she should steer clear of Donny because “his alphabet is missing a few letters.” Never heard that term before, but I guarantee you some of the letters he still possesses are “MRA” and possibly “MGTOW.”

Megan asks him if there’s a championship horse named Jenny or something, then shows him the crayon drawing. He identifies the “horse” as a mule, based on the ears, and female mules are called jennies. Oh, it’s a mule? Okay. I was thinking it was actually a donkey and was prepared to make a joke about the artist calling Jenny an ass. Damn you for ruining my joke, Hoh!

Okay, so I just Googled it, because I thought something was hinky here, and I’m right! A female donkey is called a jenny; a female mule is just called a mare, or sometimes a molly. WTF, Hoh! You were wrong, and it messed up my joke! Fucking fuckity fuck!

Megan explains where the drawing came from, and Justin tells her to meet him in the school newspaper office after school. At lunch, Hilary complains that “that viper” Vicki Deems is back in school after a week suspension for cheating on a test. Hilary wishes they would suspend her for life, and uh, sweetie, that’s called expulsion. Apparently Vicki makes sexy Karen Tucker look like Snow White, and Megan thinks some bitchy thoughts about Vicki’s spider eyes sizing up the boys like juicy flies, and that it’s no wonder she has lots of boyfriends, but no girl friends. Or maybe, and stick with me here, she doesn’t have female friends because you’re all bitchily judging her and talking shit behind her back? Just a thought.

Megan also thinks about how she doesn’t want Vicki at her party, and, like, just don’t invite her, then? I guess she’s worried about this because the guy Hilary was hoping would ask her to the party is now guaranteed to ask Vicki instead because of her skin-tight halter top or whatever. I guess the guy is invited to the party? See, this is the problem with people being expected to bring dates to a birthday party. You’re going to end up with a lot of people there that you didn’t invite, simply because they’re someone’s plus one. This is just dumb.

Any. Fucking. Way.

Megan goes to her art cubbyhole after school, just in case the homicidal artist created another threatening masterpiece for her. And guess what? They totally did! This one is a curved pink line on a piece of blue construction paper. It looks like a bump on the paper. Somehow Megan deduces that it’s a hill, and Hilary is in danger!

Now, my friend and fellow recapper, Dove, made the point in her recap of this book that it was very convenient that Megan apparently picked the paper up so that it was oriented in the right way to figure out what the fuck she’s looking at. She pointed out that had she picked it up sideways, a person could stare at it for ages without figuring out what they’re looking at, and to prove it, she included a visual aid demonstrating that were it cocked the wrong way, there’s no way it looks like a hill.

I’m going to do you one better. Here are all the ways you could have picked this paper up:

Maybe you get “hill” from the first one. The second one? Boobs. That is a profile of boobs. You will never convince me otherwise. The third? Who the fuck knows? A ditch, maybe? A shallow grave? The fourth? I . . . yeah, no clue. It probably doesn’t help that my “hill” ended up a bit lopsided.

Anyway, Megan magically knows she’s looking at a threat on Hilary and races to the auditorium where Hill is “tying up loose ends” after the junior class play last week. I hope “tying up loose ends” in this case means pressure-washing blood off the stage, because so many of these teen thrillers have grievous injuries occur on these stages.

Oh, sure enough, Megan gets there just in time to see Hilary lean out over the catwalk to grab a rope, then fall.

It’s totes okay, though. This is classic Point Horror, where the stakes are low and the body count is lower.

Hilary manages to grab the rope she was reaching for and hangs on for dear life, dangling over the stage. The boys she was working with run to get a ladder and help her down, where she tells Megan she felt someone push her. Unfortunately, no one was in a position to see who it was. One of the boys tells her she probably fell, and Hill retorts that she is not a falling sort of person. I absolutely love Hilary so far.

Hill says she’s reporting this to the principal, and Megan considers mentioning the drawing of the wavy line, but figures no one else will see it for the threat it was. Megan asks Hilary if she’s going to pass out (because she still looks a little shaky), and Hill tells her that if she were a passing out kind of person, she would have done it while she was hanging from that rope like a piece of meat in a butcher shop.

I heart Hilary.

As they walk to the principal’s office, Megan continues to wonder who is attacking her friends – Donny, because all the girls reject him? Vicki, knocking off the competition so she can have all the boys to herself? Oh my god whut? (Although, if this were R.L. Stine, that would absolutely be the storyline.)

The principal doesn’t believe Hill was pushed since no one saw it, and refuses to investigate anything. Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool. He calls Hilary’s mom to come pick her up, and Hill fumes as she waits outside with Megan. Meg asks if she’s okay, because her eyes are glazed over, and Hill responds that she’s fine; she’s just mad now. Yup, I also get the glazed 1000-yard-stare thing going on when I’m really pissed off. Oh, Hilary, we might have been the same damn person when I was 15.

After Hilary is safely in her mom’s custody, Meg goes to the school paper office to see Justin, but when she gets there she sees Vicki sitting on the desk in front of him, leaning over to whisper in his ear. To add insult to injury, Justin is, get this, listening to her! The horror.

Megan freezes in the doorway, worried that Justin will ask Vicki to her party, after all, he’s a healthy, normal, red-blooded American male, and that was some halter top!

Okay. First off, it sounds like you’re the one having trouble resisting Vicki, Megan. Secondly, not loving the insinuation that males who aren’t attracted to Vicki aren’t normal. What a giant “fuck you” to gay and asexual guys. Also, no matter how hot or sexy someone is considered, not everyone actually is going to be attracted to them! Maybe this is just Megan’s characterization and not Hoh’s actual thoughts on the matter, but damn. Get a hold of yourself, girl.

Vicki looks up and greets Megan, which I’m sure Meg takes as a declaration of war, and Justin looks up “guiltily.” But why, though? He and Megan aren’t together, so why is he acting like a guilty boyfriend? Obviously they’re both into each other, but they’d rather do this dance where nothing is official but Megan acts like a jealous harpy whenever Justin is aware other girls exist.

God. So, Megan, being the mature individual that she is, turns and runs from the room. Justin, foolishly, calls after her, to no avail. No word on what Vicki does, but if Megan’s telling the story, she was probably rubbing her hands together like a cartoon villain and cackling evilly.

Megan runs all the way home, and tries to put thoughts of “friends in danger, vicious vipers, and treacherous males” out of her head. How was Vicki vicious? How was Justin treacherous? YOU’RE NOT DATING HIM, YOU FUCKING ENTITLED DRAMA QUEEN!

Somehow all of this has made up Megan’s mind – she’s going to agree to the “trade” with Juliet. She sits in front of the mirror and calls Juliet’s name, but nothing happens. Well. That was anticlimactic.

Megan tries every few minutes throughout the evening, to no avail. She calls to check on Hilary, then goes to bed and dreams about being enveloped by spiderwebs as a giant spider moves in on her. I’m surprised she doesn’t think the spider reminds her of Vicki.

She wakes up freezing, and realizes it’s because Juliet has finally deigned to show up. She explains that she was so afraid Megan was going to say no, that she couldn’t bring herself to hear it. Uh-huh. Megan asks for a deeper explanation of the switch, then insists on “practicing” a few times before the real thing. They practice, Megan walking into the mirror (. . . okayyyyy), and whenever Meg wants to be herself again, she just has to say “I am Megan and I want to be me again.”

Incidentally, that is the one line from this book that I’ve always remembered. (Okay, I remembered it as ” . . . and I want to be myself again,” but still.)

Megan doesn’t like being in the mirror, but Juliet reminds her that she doesn’t have to stay there, she can “go wherever you want, as long as you don’t leave the lake area.” So . . . she can’t really go wherever she wants then, can she. Also, how far does “the lake area” extend? Because it’s been established that Juliet has been following Megan around, studying her, so. Okay.

Megan agrees to trade with Juliet the next night, which will give her a week in Megan’s body, and switch back the day before the party. Yes. Because the girl who wants to experience dates and parties while in your body will surely leave right before your party. I one hundred percent believe this, yessir.

So, Megan spends the day (Saturday . . . wait, does that mean her party is on a Sunday? That’s weird.) running around doing errands for the party, until the one thing left is “ask Justin.” Wait, wait, wait. Justin is obviously invited to the party already, but Megan additionally wants to ask him as her date? Why did this only just now sink in for me. He’s already coming to the party, but she wants to ask him to the party. I guess it would just be like, Do you want to be my date at my party that you’re already coming to regardless? Oh, but wait. I’m forgetting that if she doesn’t ask him to actually be her date at the party they’re both going to be at, he will be expected to bring a date that’s not her, because this is some weird alternate universe where you must bring a date to a birthday party on pain of death.

Moving on.

Juliet assures Megan that she will ask Justin to the party he’s already going to, and he WILL say yes, dammit! Then they switch, and this time feels weird and icky to Megan – instead of lightness and rainbows and shit, this time it feels like she’s being wrenched apart. Additionally, it’s fucking freezing in the afterlife. Or . . . whatever plane Meg is on. She can see her room, but far away, like through a telescope. I would argue that telescopes make things appear closer, but I probably wouldn’t be able to hear Megan’s reply.

Juliet tells her that it feels different this time because it’s for real instead of for practice, then dances around the room, excited to have a whole week as Megan. Meg tells her to calm down because she’s not really a “bouncing off the walls” type person, but like, is your family really going to suspect that your body is playing host to the ghost of a dead girl? Maybe they’ll just think someone gave you cocaine in the school bathroom, like my mom accused me of the first time I had a manic episode!

Anyway, Juliet peaces out to take a long bath and apply more makeup. When Megan follows her down to dinner, she notices that she’s made herself up like a 1940s starlet, with eight coats of mascara and blue eyeshadow. Oh. Was blue eyeshadow all the rage in the 40s? I tend to think of that as being a 60s thing.

Thomas, Megan’s 10-year-old brother, is starring in what I assume is a community theater production of Peter Pan, and when Mom mentions it to Juliet, she’s all like, fuck that noise, I’m going to the mall! But Megan had promised to go, and Justin is going to be there writing a story on it for the school paper, so Juliet laughs it off and says of course she’ll go to the play, she was only joking about the mall.

Megan is having some buyers�� remorse, but Juliet is so thrilled with being alive again that Megan can’t bring herself to back out of their deal. She miserably decides to follow them to the theater.

Unless that theater is literally on an island in the lake, I’m having serious confusion over what “don’t leave the lake area” means. Juliet, could you please specify the radius around the lake that I have to stay inside? Thanks.

All the parents at the theater have their teenagers with them, because I guess it’s a town full of drama queens. Good lord, you’d think Ted Bundy was on the loose. Hilary joins them and comments on Juliet’s excess use of makeup, and because this is a thing that annoys me due to an incident related to my mother’s gaslighting of me, I’m going to amuse myself by imagining that Juliet has done herself up in full Juggalo (Juggalette) facepaint instead of just using a bit more eyeshadow than usual.

Justin shows up, and Juliet greets him far more enthusiastically than Megan would, and they spend the whole show flirting and holding hands. Um. Look, this behavior is confusing as fuck if they’re not actually dating. No wonder Justin wasn’t sure if he was allowed to flirt with Vicki or not.

The group heads back to Megan’s house after the play, because none of the parents are letting the kids go to the mall or anything. Mom (whose name is Constance, because apparently that’s going to be important later) tells Juliet that the parents are only keeping the kids in protective custody until the sheriff catches whoever tampered with “those cars” and pushed Hilary off the catwalk. Sorry, “those” plural, cars? Did . . . did I miss an epidemic of car fuckery? As far as the story has told us, it’s one fucking car.

Megan sympathizes about Juliet choosing the worst time in Lakeside to trade bodies, since the kids are all on lockdown and she won’t get to go out and have any fun. Huh. And here we currently are in Pandemic Lockdown 2020 due to Covid. Parallels! (Except nobody is taking shit seriously and Disneyworld is about to reopen. Meanwhile, hundreds of thousands have died, with thousands of new cases popping up daily. But yeah, Liberal hoax or whatever.)

Am I recapping angry? There’s so much to be angry about these days. *shrug*

The teens gather in the den to watch a science-fiction movie that Justin talked them into, because of course sci-fi is strictly the domain of men; and Megan notices Hilary keeps giving Juliet weird looks. She wishes she could have told Hilary why she wouldn’t be acting like herself for the next week. Yeah, because I’m sure she would have believed you, Megan.

It’s too depressing for Meg to keep watching Juliet be a more fun version of herself, so she drifts out to the lake with her family, who have gone out in their boat. Oh, sorry, it’s just the menfolk who are on the boat. I guess that’s also a “just for men” thing. No idea where Mom is.

Lots of people are out on the lake, reminding me that I keep thinking this is a private lake for some reason. Probably because it’s basically in their backyard and they have their own dock. Anyway, Megan sees Vicki on a boat with some guys she doesn’t recognize, and thinks that they’re probably from another town, because Vicki probably already conquered the entire male population of Lakeside and had to move on to fresh new territory.

What the fuck, Megan.

Meg isn’t having fun at the lake, either. She can’t feel anything, not the water or the air, so she follows her dad and brother back to shore. When they get to the dock, she spots something floating in the water.

It’s her mom, facedown and unconscious! Dun-dun-DUN!

Megan feels super helpless, but fortunately Thomas spots Mom and he and Dad get her out of the water. Megan rushes (floats? zooms?) into the house and yells to Juliet to call 911, which she does before Thomas runs in to tell her what happened. He doesn’t notice she’s already on the phone, but Justin is like WTF. (Hilary has left the building sometime before this.)

When Justin asks her how she knew something was going on, she says she saw them through the window. Okay. I would love it if the window was actually facing the wrong way, but sadly it’s not. Or no one says it is, anyway.

Turns out Mom was sitting on the dock, and something (someone?) hit her from behind, sending her into the water. When she touches the back of her head, it’s all bloody.

Everyone piles into various vehicles and goes to the hospital with Mom, including Ghost Megan riding in the ambulance with her, proving that “stay in the lake area” is completely meaningless. Dad wants to stay the night at the hospital with her, but she insists the kids not be left alone at the house. You know, on account of Ted Bundy roaming the town.

Once Juliet has seen Justin off, Megan announces that she wants to switch back. She hated how helpless she felt watching Mom drown and not being able to do anything. Juliet turns on the tears and begs Megan to keep to their deal. She swears she’ll look after Meg’s mom for her, and cries that she didn’t even get a full day to live.

Megan eventually relents, but says that if anything else bad happens, the deal is off. That’s cute. Then Juliet tells her that after Hilary left (because she was feeling like a third wheel, Juliet speculates), she asked Justin to Meg’s party for her. So, as she tells Megan, “Justin is coming to your party.” But . . . wasn’t he already? He just wasn’t her date yet, but he was fucking coming to the party already. I don’t think Hoh knows how invitations work, which is weird because she literally wrote a book called The Invitation.

Then Juliet goes to sleep, not a care in the world.

Meg finds another crayon-on-construction-paper drawing that fell out of her bag while Juliet was going through it earlier. She speculates that someone slipped it in her bag while she was out running errands. Or . . . the notes are coming from inside the house . . . ? Anyway, this one is of a man in a grey and black striped uniform, which she identifies as a convict, and a leg bent so that the knee is emphasized. Con + Knee. I guess trying to figure out how to depict “Constance” was too taxing. Also, let’s play a game of “What Would JC Have Thought This Said?” Prisoner leg? Inmate joint? Criminal ninety degree angle?

Megan frantically wakes Juliet up and finally thinks to ask her what would happen to her if something happened to her body while Juliet was in it. Well, you’d be trapped in Juliet’s world, Megan.

I find it odd that we’re phrasing it like that. Isn’t Juliet a ghost? Isn’t Megan essentially a ghost while Juliet has her body? Point is, it’s the same world, isn’t it? You’re just floating through it incorporeally. It’s not fucking Narnia.

Oh, apparently now we are referring to Constance as Connie, because the whole town is “severely shaken” by the attack on Connie Logan. At least this makes more sense than thinking one car accident is the start of Jack the Ripper’s reign.

In the morning, Megan tells Juliet to be on the lookout for more threats from the art school reject, and Juliet is . . . suspiciously unconcerned with the whole thing? Then she finds out that if something happens to her body, she’ll only be trapped in Juliet’s “world” until Saturday night, when she’ll go “poof!” and disappear just like Juliet would.

Hold up. What the fuck sense does this make? Why wouldn’t Megan get to wait it out until she could find someone her age, with her birthday, etc etc? I know we’re trying to increase the tension here, but . . . WHAT ARE THE RULES?!

I . . . okay. I still like Hoh, so I’m rolling with it. I guess. Boy, this book falls apart when you inspect it closely.

Mom comes home from the hospital, and Dad gives Juliet permission to go study at the library with Justin. Instead of following them, which is what I thought she was going to do, Megan . . . wanders aimlessly through town. But everyone is staying indoors, and no one is getting murdered in the streets, so she eventually ends up back at the house (I’m seriously still annoyed that “stay near the lake” apparently means “go wherever the fuckity fuck you feel like”). Justin’s car is parked in the driveway, and he and Juliet are making out like there’s no tomorrow. Megan is jealous as fuck, but reminds herself that Justin thinks he’s making out with her.

After Juliet finally comes in, she gets a call from Hilary, who apparently wants an apology for something that Juliet doesn’t think she needs to apologize for. Megan demands to know what Juliet did to her, and it turns out Juliet basically told her it was too bad she had to hang out with her and Justin instead of having a date of her own on a Saturday night. Megan is shocked that that’s why Hill left instead of leaving because she was tired. But . . . Juliet literally told Meg that Hill left because she probably felt like a third wheel. Where is this “she was tired” thing coming from?

Megan wishes she could call Hilary and make it up to her. Juliet peaces out to take yet another long bath. Megan mopes about how long the next six days are going to be.

The next morning, Juliet is doing more to piss Megan off – first she doesn’t do the dishes, then she wears Megan’s peasant blouse with her shoulders exposed. Again, the horror. Megan decides to follow her to school, partly to make sure she’s safe, because Megan is a bit naive, and partly to make sure she doesn’t totally ruin her life. Which she immediately does by getting into an argument with Hilary. Cool. Megan watches Vicki watch the argument with eyes smoldering with hatred, and assumes it’s because she wants Justin for herself. Oh, she also thinks Vicki is evil and is the one attacking people because she just hates everyone. Sure.

Megan drifts off to check the art cubbyhole, and I’m really confused about this whole ghost experience, because she describes it as a “hideous invisible wall between her and her familiar world,” which is a very strange way to describe being incorporeal. I mean, it was first described that way because she was looking out of the mirror, but now? I dunno. It’s weird.

Anyway, somehow Megan can see the drawing in the cubbyhole. I guess it’s positioned perfectly for her ghost gaze. It’s a crayon drawing of a drum. I would think it’s a threat that someone is about to get beaten, but Megan recognizes it as a tom-tom. Thomas! Which is both her brother and her dad’s name, so she’s not sure who the threat is actually against.

At home, Juliet says she didn’t tell Megan about the drawing because she didn’t know about it – she cut art class. And also English, the one class she shares with Vicki, so Meg couldn’t ask if she felt any evil coming off her. Boo.

Juliet wants to meet Justin at the “ice cream store” in the mall. Is that like the hamburger store?

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Anyway, Dad says nobody is leaving the house tonight. Juliet, surprisingly, doesn’t argue.

Oh, she doesn’t argue because she waits for Dad to go to bed, then sneaks out. How, uh . . . how early is Dad going to bed?

Megan follows Juliet with the idea that she’ll make her come back to the house. Oh, sweetie. You’re so dumb.

When Megan gets to the mall, the ice cream “store” is the only shop still open, because it stays open late to attract the after-movie crowd. Hilary is yelling at Vicki in the corridor, because apparently Vicki had the fucking audacity to call “Megan” a flirt. Oh. A flirt. How dare she. Vicki is under the impression that Justin would be hers if it weren’t for those meddling kids, and as she stomps away, Megan again wonders how far she would go. Sure sure sure, this isn’t an obvious red herring or anything.

Hilary walks into the ice cream “store” and ignores Justin and Juliet, who are cuddled up in a booth, and also are the only people there. Apparently the booths are pink-and-white striped, so since I grew up playing with My Little Ponies, this is exactly what I’m picturing:

God, this brings back memories

Also, I find it really odd that Hoh keeps calling it an ice cream “store.” It seems to be an ice cream parlor, where you can order your sundaes and whatnot, but also order cartons of ice cream to take home, as that’s what Hilary is doing.

Justin tries to make nice to Hilary, but Juliet couldn’t care less. At least until he offers to ask Megan’s dad about letting them take the boat out (when? surely not tonight?), and Juliet almost has a heart attack. Hilary doesn’t pay attention, but after she leaves, Justin wonders what’s up with Juliet’s reaction. She plays it off as being upset over her mother almost drowning in the lake, and he accepts this.

Justin asks if she’s going to take the crayon drawing Megan showed him to the police, and Juliet doesn’t know what he’s talking about at first, but then remembers. Megan thinks it’s a good thing she showed the picture to Juliet, or she’d have no idea what Justin was talking about. Uh-huh. Anyway, she says no, the sheriff wouldn’t take a crayon drawing seriously. Megan wonders why she doesn’t mention the three other drawings. Actually, Megan thinks “two drawings,” but there have been three since the one of the ass driving the car – the wavy line; the Hamburglar, and Drumline.

Hoh is not doing so well with the continuity in this one, y’all.

Anyway, when Justin goes to pay the bill, Megan tells Juliet she’d better get home before she gets caught, then delivers the whammy – if Dad finds out, he might cancel the party! This gets Juliet’s ass in gear, and she apologizes to Megan for being such a pain.

At home, Megan asks why Juliet didn’t tell Justin there were three total drawings (THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS, MEGAN!), and she brushes it off because it doesn’t make for very romantic conversation with Justin. Megan begs Juliet to be more careful with her life, and Juliet agrees to keep an eye out for danger.

Then Megan spots a reminder card for a hair appointment Saturday afternoon. Juliet claims it was a surprise, and she would never have gone to her Sweet Sixteen without getting her hair done first. Megan counters that Juliet is not her, which Juliet finds disturbingly funny. She agrees to cancel the appointment in the morning.

Yeah, uh, Megan? You worried about any of this yet? No? Mmkay then.

Megan continues to worry about how she’s going to keep an eye on her dad, brother, and Juliet. Because Megan not only can’t read the writing on the wall, she’s unaware that there is writing. Or a wall.

Nothing much happens for the next two days. Megan decided to follow Juliet to school every day, and she’s doing her best Megan impression, including making up with Hilary. At lunch, Juliet thinks Donny is creepy, so I see we haven’t totally kicked that red herring to the curb in favor of Vicki.

Juliet talks a lot to Megan about the changes in the world in the last 46 years, and this math is off. It should be 45, but Hoh keeps saying 46. It’s been established that it’s 1991 in book universe. Juliet was born in 1930, and died just before her sixteenth birthday, which would have been in 1946. 1991 – 1946 = 45. You’ve been dead for 45 years, Juliet, not 46. What the fuck, Hoh?

Seriously, I don’t recall Hoh being this fucking bad with continuity in any of her other books. Maybe she was in a hurry with this one?

Whatever. Anyway, Juliet is still annoyed that Dad isn’t letting her out of the house to do anything fun, and complains to Megan that whoever the bad guy was must have decided it was too risky to keep attacking people. Megan tells her that she doesn’t know that.

Spoilers?

Megan still worries that someone is “out there” waiting to do her family harm. Sure, yes, out there and totally not sleeping in your bed and wearing your skin. Good lord, Megan.

Thursday afternoon, the shit hits the fan. Thomas is fifteen minutes late coming home from school, which I guess is a lot if you’re worried about homicidal artists offing your family and friends. Megan goes to look for him, and sees him biking along the road, where a semi truck is bearing down on him. He tries to brake, but the bike just keeps going. The semi hits him head-on, flinging him up in the air where he somersaults twice before landing on the verge.

Oh. Hey, I’ve seen/read Pet Sematary, too! Little kid vs a semi truck does not end well.

Apparently you can see the entire fucking town from Megan’s kitchen window, because Mom sees the crumpled bike on the street and races out the back door. I thought the back of the house faced the lake . . . ? Hell, I’ve given up on trying to map out this house/lake/town. Which is now being called a village, by the way.

As Megan watches Thomas being loaded up on the ambulance, she can’t figure out why he couldn’t stop. She saw him pumping the brakes; did someone sabotage them? But nobody would hurt a child, not even Vicki! Unless . . . she were CRAZY, because you’d have to be CRAZY to target a whole family! CRAZY! Welp, there it is. I was waiting for Hoh to disappoint me, and she did not disappoint . . . in that she did disappoint. I mean. You know.

Megan sees Juliet hanging out on the corner, and runs (floats? blows?) over to tell her what happened. Juliet is more worried that Megan’s party will be cancelled. Megan can’t comprehend why Juliet cares, since she won’t be going to the party, anyway.

*stares into the camera like Jim from The Office*

Okay, Megan.

Turns out Thomas only has a fractured pelvis, broken leg, and a concussion, rather than literally every bone being turned into jelly. Damn. I was hoping we’d get to bury a kid in the Old Indian Burial Grounds™.

At home, Megan finds out that Juliet still hasn’t cancelled the hair appointment, because of course she fucking hasn’t, you imbecile. Then Juliet proudly shows off the construction paper and crayons she stole out of Donny “Red Pill” Richardson’s locker, proving he’s the homicidal artist! She’s going to go to the police and he’ll be arrested for sure, and then Dad will let her leave the house again!

Okay, art supplies prove literally nothing. Especially if he’s in art class. I don’t think you understand how criminal investigations work, Juliet and Megan.

Megan worries about someone seeing “her” breaking into Donny’s locker, and Juliet reassures her that she just left Megan’s body sleeping in the library and ethereally popped over to the locker in spirit only. Oh, Juliet can just leave Megan’s body whenever she feels like it and invisibly fuck with the corporeal world? Maybe pay attention to that, Megan!

But also, why can Juliet physically interact with the world, but Megan can’t? Is it experience? Is this just Ghost? Also also, to an observer, would they have just seen the art supplies merrily floating down the hallway on their own? I have questions I need answered, Hoh!

Megan still doesn’t feel better about anything, even though she’s sure the sheriff will arrest Donny tomorrow. It’s like Megan is smart enough to know that things should trouble her, but too dumb to figure out why.

The next morning, Juliet has already left before Megan comes in from the lake, where she apparently spends the nights wandering around. She notices a new party dress in her closet, black with pink trim. She wonders if Juliet has a fancy date with Justin, because there aren’t a lot of places in town she could wear a dress like that.

Except, you know, your Sweet Sixteen party.

Megan spends the day at the hospital, where Thomas is conscious but listless. And also more concerned about his bike than about himself. Okay then. She goes to the school to find Juliet, but sees Donny leaving school, decidedly un-arrested. Unable to find Juliet at school or at home, she heads for the hospital, where the sheriff has popped up to ask questions and inform them that the truck driver also tried to brake but nothing happened. Then he goes into a long, out-of-place lament on how forty years ago their house was the only one on the lake, and Martha’s family didn’t even think about locking their doors because things were so safe.

Megan wonders why Juliet didn’t tell the sheriff about the art supplies in a fellow student’s locker, and finally finds her back at home. She went for a ride with Justin after school. Turns out the sheriff wasn’t in his office when she went there before school, and she couldn’t wait around because then she’d be late for school, and Megan didn’t want her cutting any more classes.

Passive-aggressive much, Juliet?

Juliet deflects Megan’s concerns by telling her that the party isn’t cancelled after all (didn’t know that was a concern, but okay), and that the new dress is for Megan when she asks about that. Juliet tells her that the dress Megan picked out was too juvenile, even though she’d said it was pretty before.

Megan can’t believe Juliet and Martha were friends, because they’re so different. Um, Juliet actually told you she didn’t know Martha well, and also, do you think your grandma didn’t change at all from the time she was a teenager to the time she was your grandma? But this reminds Megan of what the sheriff said about this house being the only one on the lake forty years ago, and asks Juliet where she lived; was it on this street?

Cappie calls then, and turns out Juliet is off to meet up with the gang at Justin’s house. She’d rather be running wild through town, but it is what it is. Megan realizes her dad will be alone in the house, and wonders why Juliet didn’t suggest everyone come over to her house, but when she goes back upstairs to suggest it to her, she’s already gone.

Megan haunts around the house until her dad goes to bed, then wanders out to the lake, thinking how it’s a miracle nothing bad has happened to Juliet. Yeah. Miracle. Totally.

When she gets back to the house, it’s late, and Juliet is home and in bed, fast asleep. Megan thinks it’s odd she’s not out wringing every moment of fun out of her last night alive. Mmhmm. Very odd.

In the morning, Juliet goes to see the sheriff, but he’s not there and won’t be back til dinnertime. But what time is that, though? People eat dinner from like 5-9PM; “dinnertime” is not a set time! I had dinner at like ten o’clock last night! WHAT TIME DO YOU ACTUALLY MEAN?!

Back at the house, Dad is doing some kind of repairs that require him to be on a ladder, so you know this is going to go well. Megan looks around for Juliet, and finds her lying light as a feather stiff as a board on the bed. She thinks it’s weird that Juliet is napping, but also she doesn’t look relaxed like someone taking a nap.

Then Dad screams and there’s a breaking-glass sound, and Juliet sits bolt upright, “awake” now. Megan doesn’t have time to do the math, and rushes to see her dad on the ground amid broken glass from a picture window the ladder crashed through when it fell. I’m having a hard time picturing how this happened, but not enough to be snarky about it. Anyway, Dad is bruised and bloody, but seems more sheepish than grievously injured. (Juliet scolds him that he shouldn’t have been on a ladder in sandals. Agreed.)

As Juliet helps Dad disinfect and bandage his cuts, Megan finally, finally starts doing the math. She thinks that Juliet didn’t look asleep, she looked . . . empty, then she remembers that Juliet can leave her body whenever she wants, she thinks about how Juliet was never worried about anything bad happening to her, and she realizes Juliet could easily have nipped out of her body to attack her mom, because Justin never noticed what was going on around him when he was engrossed in a movie.

But then she wonders why Juliet would spend her one precious week of life wreaking havoc. Goddammit, Megan.

Oh, wait, no! By George, I think our girl’s finally got it! She thinks about the hair appointment, and the dress, and FUCKING FINALLY realizes that Juliet intends to just keep her body. She can’t figure out why she’s so evil, though.

Fortunately Juliet is back in the bedroom to explain things to Megan. It’s very simple, really – it’s all because of Grandma Martha. She was Juliet’s stepsister.

We now interrupt this Point Horror novel to bring you Cinderella.

Megan protests that Martha only had one stepsister named Etta, as if people never use different diminutives. Sure enough, Juliet is actually Julietta, and her wicked stepmother (Martha’s mom) forced her to go by Etta because “Julietta” was too fanciful. Damn. I have stepmother issues, but at least she never forced me to change my name.

Blah blah blah, Stepmom was terrible; Martha hated Juliet as much as Juliet hated her; Juliet supposedly stole all of Martha’s friends (there’s a lot to be said on this issue. Sure, you can’t “steal” a person, but I was a kid who had a few friends “stolen” from me, so it’s a phenomena that exists. It was usually accomplished by a girl who hated me making friends with my friend, then occupying all the friend’s time and excluding me, or being so horrible to me when I was around that I just . . . didn’t want to be around anymore. And gradually the “friend” just got colder and more distant toward me until we just weren’t friends anymore.).

Juliet hated living in this big country house; hated not living in the city; hated that these fucking hicks went on picnics rather than having dinner parties. You’re, uh, not making yourself very sympathetic, Juliet. There’s nothing wrong with a nice picnic.

Anyway, her dad forced her out on the lake with Martha, to keep her company since she’d stolen all of Martha’s friends or whatever. They fought on the boat, and Juliet tried to grab the oars, then they hit a rock and both girls were thrown overboard. (Unfortunately, there was no sign of Kurt Russell or Goldie Hawn.) Juliet was knocked unconscious, but according to her, Martha was fine, and just clung to the boat and watched Juliet drown rather than saving her.

Megan denies that Martha would do that, and points out that Juliet was unconscious, so she has no idea if Martha tried to save her or not. Megan thinks she probably did, but Juliet hated her so much she just wants to believe Martha did nothing.

Juliet is incensed that she’s the one who died, because she was pretty and popular, and Martha got to live, because she was dull and liked books and bird watching. I feel very attacked right now, by the way.

Megan is still confused as to why Juliet attacked her friends and family. It was to hurt Megan, because Martha loved her. Juliet didn’t have the chance to punish Martha, so she’ll take it out on Megan, thank you very much.

See, this is where the logic of this world totally breaks down for me. Why couldn’t she do anything to Martha? She’s apparently been lurking around since her death; Martha lived in this house for years, why couldn’t Juliet just push her down the stairs or some shit? Because Juliet never says she was pulled out of the ether when Megan moved in; she only made it sound like she could only trade with Megan. My impression was that she was here and aware the whole 45 (not 46!) years she’s been dead. Therefore, it makes no sense that she wouldn’t have taken revenge directly. And if she only popped into the world after Megan moved in, that was not made clear at all.

Megan is shocked that Juliet made her think it was Donny or Vicki attacking her family, and come on, Meg. You suspected Vicki all on your own; Juliet never said a word about her.

Juliet says she has to go find Justin now, since he broke their date because of Thomas’s accident, and oh yeah, the only reason she hasn’t hurt him is because she wants him for herself; Megan knows that, right? Then Megan actually tries the whole “I’m Megan and I want to be me again” thing, and I’m sure Juliet almost dies laughing at her. Like she would give Megan an easy way back into her body. Nope, that only works if both parties are willing. It’s like the honor system, you know?

Megan freaks out, vowing she’ll get her body back before midnight, before she poofs into non-existence, then yells that Juliet is evil and she hates her! Juliet replies that she should curse Martha instead, as she has for the last 46 years. It’s 45, Juliet. 45. Although, she did hate her before she died, so maybe this use of 46 is acceptable.

Now we randomly switch to Justin’s POV, even though we’ve been following Megan all this time. Okay. He’s not so sure how much he likes the “new” Megan and suddenly remembers her trying to tell him something weird was going on at her house. He can’t quite remember what she said, though. Oh, gee whiz, really? Is it maybe because you cut her off to mansplain about what’s actually weird in town? Then he realizes that with all the terrible things happening, Megan could be next, and wonders why he never thought of that until now!

Because you’re a self-centered jagoff?

Megan is still trying to figure out how to get Juliet to willingly trade back with her. She remembers that she’s terrified of the water, and wonders if she can communicate with Justin. Fortuitously, Justin shows up at the house, but no one’s home so he goes to sit on the dock to wait.

Megan finds him and manages to make him hear her, although at first he thinks she’s hiding somewhere and playing games with him. She finally gets him to understand the situation, and they plan to lure Juliet out on the lake with the promise of a romantic time under the moon or something. Oh, also, it’s eleven-thirty, so they only have half an hour until Megan . . . discorporates? Goes poof.

Jesus Christ, why did we leave this until the last minute?

I like this book, but this is getting tedious. I’m going to hurry this along as much as I can.

After much cajoling, bullying, and gaslighting, Justin convinces Juliet to come out in the boat with him. Megan thinks that will be enough, but it’s not. He steers them toward the cove; Juliet panics; Megan reveals herself; Juliet digs in harder because it’s only a few minutes til midnight now. And, like, I’m not surprised Juliet’s response to realizing this is a set-up is “fuck you.”

Juliet starts fighting Justin for control of the boat, and unsurprisingly they slam into a rock and Juliet falls into the water, which Hoh has described as “boiling.” Um, you sure you don’t want to rethink that word choice, Hoh? Because I know it’s unseasonably warm in this story, but surely not enough to make the lake boil.

Juliet’s drowning, but Justin is worried because it’s Megan’s body drowning regardless of who’s occupying it, so he dives in to save her. This gives Juliet hope, because she doesn’t know that Justin is a terrible swimmer. Megan screams this at her, feels Juliet’s resolve begin to weaken, then starts repeating “I am Megan and I want to be me again” over and over as the clock begins to chime midnight.

Juliet lets out a wail that was probably heard ’round the world, and Megan reclaims her body. And then has to rescue Justin, because again, terrible swimmer. They get back in the boat, wrap themselves in blankets, and head back to shore. Because somehow this damaged boat is still driveable. Cool.

Nostalgia Glasses Off

Obviously I had some issues with the bad continuity and lapses in logic. But the thing is, I loved the fuck out of this book when I was younger, and I still enjoy it today.

It would have been a hundred times better if Hilary had been the protagonist, though.

The most oblivious protagonist in Point Horror history agrees to allow a ghost to take over her body for a week. Nothing could go wrong, right? I recapped The Accident by Diane Hoh! Title: The Accident Author: Diane Hoh Published: April 1991 Tagline: She has returned. From the dead.

#90s books #actual nostalgia #body swapping #Books #diane hoh #ghosts #horror #incels #no logic in sight #nostalgia #point horror #recaps #supernatural #teen thriller #the accident

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waynekelton · 5 years ago

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DOTA Underlords has gone from 200K to 18K Peak Players in six months

It seems y’all have stopped playing DOTA Underlords. A reddit thread on r/Games has pointed out the Steam Charts listing for Valve’s own Auto Chess take, which shows the game as lost over 80% of its player base since launching mid 2019.

In June peak players were just over 200K, where-as of the last 30 days that’s dropped to around 18,000. It’s worth bearing in mind though that Underlords went from 200K to 100K peak players in the first thirty days, with the decline getting more gradual in the months that followed. The average number of players is around 11K for the last 30 days, which while nothing to sniff at still indicates not as many people are playing as there used to be.

I’m not 100% sure if Steam tracks people who access the game via mobile… I want to say yes, because every-time I bring it up on my phone it then appears in my ‘Most Recent’ played games list within the Steam client, even though I don’t have it installed on my PC. I’d be interested in knowing how many of Underlords’ active players play primarily on their phones or tablets.

Reading the thread in full, you can get some interesting insights as to what core players think of Underlords’ journey since it launched into Beta. Many respect Valve for the experimentation and the better handling of the game versus Artifact, although some haven’t been impressed with the specifics of the updates that have come since. The inclusion of the titular 'Underlords' hasn't really hit home, and the Jailbreak system led to so much confusion that the devs simply dropped it as part of of the December 18th update. Instead they've gone for a more direct rotation system, with 14 heroes currently removed from the game.

Some argue that the development team at Valve don’t really know what they want to do with Underlords. You can look at what Drodo is going with the OG Auto Chess game as one route for evolution, but I think Hearthstone Battlegrounds has shown that Auto Chess games can be much more than what we’ve got currently. Underlords was offering its own 'quick-play' format called Knockout, and it seems they've incorporated the lessons learned from that mode into the Standard and Duo format as well, making all games shorter by default. This will serve as a decent enough short-term solution to help with retention, but I feel like Underlords really needs to step up their thinking.

The ‘Auto Chess Wars’ in general haven’t been as heated as I thought they would be - we had an initial rush of knock-offs and me-toos, but nothing major in the latter half of 2019 apart from Blizzard’s‘ own "Hearthstone but Auto Chess’ experiment. TeamFight Tactics seems to be doing the best out of the ‘big’ auto battler games, and so far no other big-name western publisher has tried to get in on the action.

It will be interesting to see where this new ‘hot’ genre goes in 2020 - I hope it doesn’t die off completely, but a lack of real innovation may lead to stagnation.

DOTA Underlords has gone from 200K to 18K Peak Players in six months published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/

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howto9jaa · 5 years ago

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How to Dress up for Parties Elegantly

New Post has been published on https://howto9ja.com/how-to-dressup-for-a-parties

How to Dress up for Parties Elegantly

Original Post: Click here to read the Original Post

How to Dress-up for Parties: Everybody knows fashion is an enormous industry to talk about, and when it comes to writing fashion articles you want to make sure that you make vibrant and interesting content for your readers.

Human emotions are what create trends and drive the fashion business. “We know what we need, but often we do not always know what we want.”

This is a saying I am sure we are all familiar with. We go into a fashion shop with a particular style in mind but on getting there you see beautiful outfits and you’re suddenly confused as to which outfit to pick or something.

Well, here I’m going to tell you how to look extremely great and also keep it casual for that party you’re getting ready for.

After all, you want to look festive and nice enough for rubbing elbows with the higher-ups—but without looking over-dressed or out of place.

Well, it can be done, and I’m here to help! I’ve got some great ideas for the ladies on picking party attire that’s relaxed but still looks sharp and professional.

Have you been invited to a party? Great! You must now pick just the right outfit for the party and get ready to have fun with your friends.

Wear something that makes you feel comfortable and stylish while you are at the party. But it’s still a party! Focus on the accessories; opt for small and functional bags, and do not overdo. Less is always more.

How to Dress-up for parties

1. Casual Parties

Is it a casual party? Then turn-up with shorts. Shorts were practically made for casual celebrations, so have fun with the varying length and style options.

Keep things casual by embracing the light, breathable fabrics, and shorts with a little room in the thigh. Avoid tight, short shorts with sequins or busy patterns and also gladiator’s sandals or some ballet flats will look really good for a daytime party,

and the wedges or boots for a night party, so now we clearly can put on any cute blouse and we’re good to go, this is a completely casual outfit. This is what the outcome should look like…

Source: Pinterest

2. Birthday Parties

Definitely, you don’t want to go there looking all dressed up like you are the celebrant, will you? Look good but not too good like you are trying to be the celebrant. We can try something like a cute gown just like this….

Source: prettyLittleThings

3. Dinner Parties or Date

This is a social occasion and sometimes it gets official so you really don’t want to go there looking so unprepared. A well-designed gown and cute heels will really work, Do not forget to add a cute bracelet and a pendant necklace. So we should look something looking like….

Source: trendytao

But also it could be just a casual dinner party with friends where y’all dine at home, a jean and t-shirt will do and just to be clear it’s mostly your top that will be on display since you’ll be seated at a dining table so you need to put extra effort in picking one…

Source: Modcloth 4. Garden parties

This is an outdoor party with a garden theme so let’s have that garden look if you know what I mean. Gardens are beautiful and so should you and these parties are mostly held in summer when the weather and flowers are nice. We should attend these parties looking like this….

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push();

Source: gosilk

5. Cocktail Parties

You’re the type with friends who like having fun and they hit you up to come for a cocktail party and you’re wondering how am I meant to look for such an occasion, oh well you can wear a sexy looking gown with a nice heels, show em some of that flawless skin so here we go….

Source: mybenshop

6. House parties

You all gather at the residence of the party’s host. A house party is typically associated with teenage or young adult crowds, loud music, dancing, and kinds of stuff. So you can’t go there looking all messed upright?

So we could just take a blouse and jeans or a flair gown, whatever makes you happy or you could just go with my outfit, we can go with something like…..

Source: outfittrends

7. Valentine’s Day Parties This sounds weird, right? But there really is something like a valentine party so just in case you decide to go for one with your beloved or just with friends and you have no idea of what you should wear,

well just pick a really nice looking gown and a cute pair of heels, nobody said it has to be a red one, just look like “love” and love is beautiful. Do not forget to add a cute bracelet and a pendant necklace. So you should look something like….

Source: stylecaster

8. Office Parties

This is where you work, so if you work in a casual or creative office, here’s how to stand out from your dress-wearing colleagues at the holiday office party this season.

You have to look professional and at the same time, casual is that right? So a nice gown and heels or a blouse that adds sophistication for a stylish head to toe outfit like a leopard print. Well, you should attend looking like…..

Source: liveabout

9. Beach parties

We’re going to the beach guys we definitely do not want to wear anything that would make us uncomfortable, would we? Some people go with a bikini and that is alright.

But if you do not want to go with a bikini, you could wear a playsuit or anything that is not tight or uncomfortable, well we could go looking like ….

Source: clbxg

10. Girls Night Out

Getting together with your girlfriends, for easy outfits that will impress your fashionable friends — plus help you stand out from the pack — start with a sparkly pair of jeans that fits your body perfectly with a soft,

slouchy blouse, to show off your shape or a gown. Finish your look with your favorite dancing shoes, Do not forget to add a cute bracelet and a pendant necklace. So we appear looking like….

Source: Pinterest

Summary:

I am not a fashion expert at all but I try to make sure I give out the best knowledge I have got and trust me there is no leading astray here.

These are simple but appropriate outfits for specific parties as I have listed above. So now let’s attend that party looking like we rule the fashion world!!! You’ve learned how to Dress up for a Party, Check out this other how-to articles on HowTo9ja:

How To Knot A Tie Perfectly

How To Care For My Braided Wig

How To Plait A Wig Easily

Via

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airoasis · 5 years ago

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"Rock a Hula Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 7 | Dead Parrot

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/rock-a-hula-ted-father-ted-series-2-episode-7-dead-parrot/

"Rock a Hula Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 7 | Dead Parrot

I am society from ancient India have been ruled via women fairly my guys weren’t allowed around females with out license and have been put in the car and told off for being sexist anyway you are going to do a track from you to me new album for us now God what an agent she’s under no circumstances completely happy until she’s complaining about something oh you are correct there take I believe this new song is in regards to the Catholic Church oh here she goes it is about how the church in eire ordinarily had plenty of potatoes in the course of the famine they usually hit the pendulum the pill and that i fell to my storage as expertise fare holes closed down a variety of the factories that were making the potatoes and turned them into prison for children God on my cheek without doubt this existed was anything sinister certainly I mean wow the main issue with she appears to be taking the entire Catholic King somewhat severely Ted sure I imply it is just a bit of amusing stop talking and it’s simply whole radical feminism lack to quite get my purpose what this proposal that the Catholic Church is a few sort of bad perspective to women k she’s doing a tune Candace what you smash air hole cramps or you love them what what you’re making of all these items you failed to come to the church is somewhat sexist Oh God no father I’ve invariably known the church very aware of my views I imply I don’t forget one time I was having horrible troubles at house and the church manner aid then i do know a different we wish to roam the church down however I acquired a load of house owners extra more lon thanks for asking father but no no I haven’t any complaints at all yeah Oh No sorry goes mad if i’m a 2nd days with this drink drink you know you will have to rather get a haircut he’s constantly got too some distance down that Bob Geldof position oh that is a nasty avenue it is indeed Google i would like you have got long gone down as there isn’t a coming again as Bob himself or Kenya what did you pay for the cabinets Ted Dada i don’t rather take into account him these is not going to last you look at that she might speak that into comment down well there is plenty of first-rate on to know provide us a name Oh God okay i will be able to suppose it we did it kid ah appear at that picture it is falling apart have a bit cup of tea Liam reasonable ample so am what you want to talk to me about oh sure now you were planning i’m going to d’lovely garyun competition this 12 months we’re mature oh yes I I by no means missed the lovely girls that is my absolute favorite time of year well I was once this lovely lady 1995 doing Aragog Ted we had a stripper of her title Oh God why we discovered she’s been in a movie called stallion Sam I heard us was a bit impolite anyway i’m chairman of the organizing committee this yr and i used to be questioning in case you wanted to judge it shudders what cuddly would now not too hot and there’s the dinner afterwards in there oh sure sure you’ve gotten the dignity of taking the winner out for me and that i consider who pays for it is not me did I hear that somewhere oh you suck alternative we introduced that in a couple of years in the past you’ve the glory of taking her off for me and she had been on roti how much fuck stereo this sort of backtest about 100 kilos I would have obtained your grace and probably after carefully anyway you were pronouncing oh sure now whilst you take the lovely lady out to dinner could you ever persuade her to put on considered one of my Mami’s dresses she could use the publicity right how’s the industry going oh satisfactory she bought one last week what number of is that purpose this yr that might be one you see and sincerely factor we inspiration is be a little bit of an ass getting a priest to evaluate it this yr additionally it eliminates any sexual part to the red or and that i mistaken friend i’m hoping you is not going to be tempted through all those beautiful women or there isn’t any danger of that toilet considering we have now had problems with that sort of thing before you no no no Ted we quite have a challenge of that possibility all correct you do not have to worry there limb correct at the off due with the aid of limb how much duplex the door Ted i don’t understand it came with the condo oh hi there they are a bunch of homeboys prime god there she is again now not everywhere the place lift power what does that imply don’t know I knew a father Clint energy penis is having a go at him what is the interview like I failed to quite read so much of its head she’s gone around the nation on the second I feel she needs to purchase a house on an island and reside in it and she had their eye on some godforsaken position off the west coast really did it point out what island she had a Ryan Clady Island in position for me I see it as being a dependable haven for individuals who desire to flee their party on the mainland so god I want to create a world free and affection and devout intolerance no no no no no that terrible information correct sincerely we simply have to stand our ground if she’s on the island and bound upon Peter I simply inform her the people of crayons will not stand ahead freed from sexual and religious intolerance no manner Jose correct whether the room will have to be ok now I who had been the upstairs and i did the Attic prime to backside i have oh yes sure and i washed your car additionally I consider to look at green hearse beside the carriage that we are free today Oh mrs.Toys have any risk of preserve your two favorite trees it’s handiest a letter how do you do no I need to get away early to the beautiful ghosts competition for DES Moine going myself but i do not consider i do not want to say to a beautiful lady god doogal there is no end of things you would speak about you could ask them what their father does for a dwelling you probably have a boyfriend clothes and to do with clothes and fragrance essentially closes simplest for the reason that men have been close however we do not put on perfume get additional larger except for the biggie anyway should you ever meet a lady i’m definite you’ll be able to maintain us simply be yourself viable be yourself make them suppose secure and the golden rule constantly need to have that approach it’s simpler ultimately anyway I higher be off it only keep these beautiful ladies waiting be your self is it cool if I you can be their father oh we get me later bald eagles oh we do not get into any mischief oh you know the spanner I do and that’s the drawback not on impersonations of all opposes all those different line made individuals think Peter Gabriel and Queen and the other bands that went on prior within the day and what about Phil Collins flying all of the solution to Boston Sagi workmanship that’s what it is okay for proper now so will you quit this the camera for stead lovely forever you know sorry college actress judgement song whats up lovely Gyarados and any individual at the door mrs.Doing mrs. Doyle good day there good Imelda you are a beautiful lady even though I hear you had a bit of unhealthy luck dicy your dog was once knocked down with the aid of a auto and killed no no that is that is my father it says here that your 22 19 correct and also you were born in could oh that is a beautiful a part of the sector ten doc and it says right here that you’re a black belt in karate now so so what would you do if I got here I let you know what as you seem to my notes and discontinue on any style of expertise that’s simply genuine Sam instructed me your name yet father in theatres well there doodle McGuire very well this can be a great residence I rather love the crude religious imagery yeah y’all right there hold your breath breath your breath is it comfy if you have a breath it can be no longer too tight is it however that you could loosen it if you need take it off bathe go on Brasilia come T normally i will make the tea and you’re taking your brow oh is not that bob geldof yeah yeah you are aware of it so beautiful bit whoa clearly the last university mullion that quite very thing i am not certain whether it is Bobby sufficient cling on there a 2nd excuse me are you a job all correct now going for walks oh seem at them they are very very have a beautiful Park careful they’re headed that myself into ghettos find it irresistible of path they all have it on absolutely and mrs.Doyle is the one who makes the tea and he or she goes here simply make the tea what mrs. Doyle makes turkey anyway I better just inform you the purpose i’m here i am watching for a house around the discipline and that i fairly particularly like this one your sandwich exceeds the desired six entries and wit and that suggests it’s between a different and Mary in the beautiful lass tiebreak nor right here you’re nothing off i will have to let you know a shaggy dog story so right here we go this is my Robin Williams impression ok right here we go that is the funny story now okay secretary Sir the Invisible Man is in reception that bus tell him I can not see him rapidly I ought to say a Mendes lap is nicer i am sorry Mary that implies Amanda is the winner certificate of loveliness and of direction you have been going to dinner the next day to come in craggy Islands top secret rest on the Thai cottage and who will you be inviting to dinner I do convey my mom just have a different for such one more I can be inviting you quality yeah anything anything show up so thanks the winner of our beautiful girls 1996 it’s a letter there you’re up it how does it on full of life competitors come brilliantly good and as is the tradition I get a free dinner the next day to come night high-quality it’s a quitter oh god yeah Wow you particularly not Michael Hutchence unconscious welcome anyway some thing happened while I was once away no cannot suppose of something anyway oh you are one Nev Connolly known as Nev Connolly what did you say to her do not worry Ted it was pleasant I simply took your recommendation about speaking to garrison of his floor she’s upstairs now she’s still here yeah actually I suppose she’s in the toilet oh good day again and that i was once simply telling Ted you have been in the toilet hiya there father Ted Crilley you ought to be leave out Connelly well feel that sexist be aware of to name a young woman omit i am sorry too late for me to change my approaches that you could instruct an old canine new tricks good it is getting kind of late very well good I I won’t preserve you Faisal bye goodbye father yes goodbye k that is the opposite factor I so go away the residence really I simply gave it to her wait a minute he’s gonna turn it right into a studio she mentioned we will have all of the recording time we want well no wait now not you game of the condominium wait honey wait a 2d where are we gonna live leave out Connelly omit Costas has been a horrible misunderstanding here look I have to record a duet over the cellphone with Peter Gabriel so hope you do not mind but Nigel Antonio Michelle yeah well i’m sorry however we’re not going anywhere proper i am no longer staying right here to be insulted by you come on dude we’re desiring i would not say this learn how to supply me a million pound wait a minute what did I say there I understood please supply us again the house what did I say why can we outside stated the place are we going to reside God Almighty Dugan i am going away for a few hours and you might have managed to present away the condo I mean take me sewers again what precisely occurred I was just sticking to your room head and quantity one be your self no no no no be your sensitive whatever individuals say never be yourself with ladies not ever never by no means what then well i attempted to make a extra at ease like you mentioned sure so I asked her to take off her bra we come again to that one mr.There would you supply away the house what concerning the Golden Rose head continuously supply them what they need no no that is the silver rule the golden rule is that anybody who’s ever speaking to you again suppose about what you’re announcing and then do not say it and then just run away someplace correct all right this is a lengthy shot however it’s our most effective hope i’ll go away this paper and pencil here and expectantly within the morning God may have written down what we should do ok that could be a lengthy shot their handiest hope Google come on God ah what is it see God correct back no I failed to bollocks anyway correct i am gonna have to manage this myself sincerely the item is the condo it fairly wasn’t Google to present away that sort of be gracious we might provide it again to us I consider it would be intriguing the variety of labor we’re doing right here we’re an extraordinarily progressive parish i hope it’s now not some type of hideaway for pedophile clergymen that housing disgusted me good depart we’re no longer all like that I mean say if there is 200 million clergymen on the planet and and 5 percent of them are pedophiles that’s nonetheless simplest ten million so what we desired to create right here used to be a global freed from intolerance and hypocrisy particularly stable yes yes there’s one factor I hate it is hypocrisy I imply that sexism farling yes sure god it gets my goat we’re very specific right here in craggy Island we do not like all of that sort of them factor ah kid who is that this lovely Carol now Ted you’re only purported to decide on one you understand comeon beautiful girl I’ve offered 20 million documents plus ha ha ha ha Eddie reject what you think this one are this one you realize i love this one well that is a great one title all proper – no but I like the color of this one oh I just have no idea good laughs they are each excellent i am certain whichever one you opt for it’ll be just beautiful thanks Ted see good style of alternative lifestyles catered for you we’re a refuge for clergymen like a father lean the place else would he give a sermon even as dressed like a Joan Crawford sees leave please don’t take her a apartment please don’t stop our excellent work right here you already know I ought to say father I had no suggestion that monks might be worried in such just right work you most often have that historic-usual view of the drunken or Netra scream like the stereotype is lengthy long gone I enjoy each of it goodbye father Billy would be Manohar Maura historic-style priest he likes to pop round for him you recognize good ancient bitch once in a even as he came from upstairs yeah he’s like hiding across the condo so he can spring a subject matter on me however perhaps he’d be hiding within the rest room and i might go to the bathroom and he abruptly jump out and say ladies clergymen and that i just consider very fast and say i am in desire of them anyway the primary factor I wanted to assert needeth we’re enormous gigantic fanatics of yours right here i’d say we have to have every album you ever made would you love me to signal them for you oh that does not be satisfactory might you sure of course you must stay here so there’s a sign the album so provide the keys again what i’m going to simply go and get the report thank you thank you Cheers record can be like mr.Don don’t care father I completed digging that drainage ditch ordinary dimension now i do know you wanted me to wash these rooms late tonight y’all be aware of don’t know hard to could do them tomorrow when there may be much less risk of me falling off and being killed and then sting fell down the steps just right father may also be feeling nature he has to stay house so mrs. Greenback Kumar the one purpose I gave him the residence again one night time off a week from mrs. Dyle might be I should just pour in shechem little bit yeah we’ll come on let’s revel in ourselves sister no man around we are able to do it fairly is that mate pleasure nonetheless have endurance No you

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batterymonster2021 · 5 years ago

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"Rock a Hula Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 7 | Dead Parrot

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/rock-a-hula-ted-father-ted-series-2-episode-7-dead-parrot/

"Rock a Hula Ted" | Father Ted | Series 2 Episode 7 | Dead Parrot

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