#I’m so glad the guys know we care about them. idk I’m not very emotional

[foxgloveinspace]

oh my god you gave permission to send vids and i lasted all of 30 minutes before needing to send something 😂

BUT!!!

iv crying 🥺🥺🥺 the love for iii these last few shows has melted my heart and clearly the bands too

https://x.com/vesseltoken/status/1734391886901616999?s=46

i cannot suffer alone with this one i’m so sorry

Well, as I watch this and suffer. here, sleep token official instagrams account second to last pic…. Our boy AdamRosssi knows what we want, haha.

🥺🥺🥺

Oh no……

[chaggie4ever]

Hello. Me again. I was wondering if you could make a post of how Charlie steamrolls Vaggie. I know it's a recurring flaw but I wanted to hear from you.

Of course. I’ve been wanting to make a Chaggie flaws post for a bit so this can be at least part 1 XD preface with I ADORE them (sometimes with a side of Lute/Vaggie) and flaws are part of any good relationship. My very gay wife and I have many but remain very happily married for over three years now :)

Also having just rewatched AGAIN this is fresh 😎 (#idontknowhowmanytimesiverewatchednowpleasesendhelp). So we immediately open into a Disney-esque song that Vaggie begs Charlie not to sing (in the original AND new pilots!) Charlie literally sings over her and runs down the street, annoying everyone in the pride ring. She ignores Vaggie’s commentary and (insider) advice. When she gets back, we see one of the rare cases that Vaggie IS NOT fully in tune with Charlie’s emotions and pushes her to watch the commercial before she can vent about the meeting. This may be intentional to cheer her up though 🧐

Ep2 Chaggie is cute and supportive and more involves Charlie steamrolling Angel and his emotions in favor of Sir Pentious.

Ep3 Charlie flings the whole trust exercise on Vaggie, who is very obviously uncomfortable with this. Ideally she would have given Vaggie a heads up before in front of everyone… or at least recognized that discomfort. But nope. Completely steamrolled. To her credit, Charlie is the first to volunteer and later DOES apologize for putting too much pressure on Vaggie.

But the rooftop. The fucking rooftop. Charlie interrupts the one consensual throwing into a turf war (Nifty REALLY wanted to be thrown XD). Then when Vaggie literally says that she is NOTHING if she isn’t useful, Charlie DOESNT CORRECT HER. Like dude. You don’t try saying “you do so much” in that situation. You tell your girl to fucking love herself dammit and that her self worth should not revolve around you! But it’s like Charlie doesn’t even hear this… she wants to put a bandaid on but she needs to stop the actual bleeding here. And doesn’t. She leaves. Yes Vaggie asked her to but sometimes you should persist a bit more imho. Instead we see an awesome power ballad (also her Assassin’s Creed climbs bro), where Vaggie sings about “it felt so good to be understood” after THIS convo XD I’m sorry I can’t. Gurl you are more than armor, please love yourself. Notably, Charlie IS NOT HAPPY even when the residents are bonding (her one goal right?), until Vaggie is ok. And this scene is very cute and sweet.

Ep4 is more Huskerdust focused, but we do get some cute supportive girlfriend talk and Charlie actually listening. The one time it backfires XD I AM glad Vaggie doesn’t put this all on herself when Charlie returns home devastated.

Ep5 is more Charlie+Lucifer but we get a cute intro to future father-in-law (guys. Why are they not engaged yet?? I was in like three months XD) good tour, minimal steamrolling that I can find. Charlie does completely miss Vaggie’s reaction to Lucifer talking about heaven sucking, but she was facing the other way and kinda focused on him. And she does not notice Vaggie’s very obvious fake enthusiasm over going to heaven at the end.

Ep6 - the BIG ONE. Charlie seemingly does not care about Vaggie’s discomfort going to heaven. Like dude, at least ask why? Maybe? Or do you even notice the VERY obvious hesitancy on every convo about heaven? Idk if she was assuming she knew or just was too excited and missed it. But this happens so many times this episode. Yes, Vaggie REALLY should have given Charlie at least a heads up about what she was walking into. But it helps when someone asks “what’s wrong?”… especially for those of us who are emotionally constipated and trauma-fueled…

Ep7 is frustrating - how long has Vaggie been on the couch now? A week? Their confrontation is so painful. Like can you think of a reason Vaggie may have lied or just not corrected you about this major aspect of her life? Girl has had your back for three years essentially without question. You need to talk. Not cry for a week. But again, Charlie comes first and Vaggie hates herself too much to combat this. Especially right now. Charlie can focus on nothing else all day until she finally learns actions mean more than words. Meanwhile Vaggie gets the shit beaten out of her and reminded to live for others. As much as I love this scene, I do NOT love having a person as a “reason to live.” I hope she develops beyond this but if this is what Vaggie needs to survive life right now so be it (I actually meant to type Lute instead of life but both work XD)

Their apology is super cute and I think there will be some great wing fun in bed tonight XD Vaggie IS steamrolled here again but this time it’s more legitimate imho. Charlie should not let her apologize after how she treated her today. They BOTH need to apologize dammit.

And finally ep8 - very minimal steamrolling I could find! They are just adorable and perfect in every way. Wow that ended up long XD sorry and you’re welcome? XD

[websurfshark]

season 19 was a let down 😭😭

spoilers below!

i’m sure that over a year of hype doesn’t help my case here but i really was expecting something a little better 😭

i don’t mean to be too much of a critic in this post and sorry if i seem like i’m complaining but man 🧍‍♂️ full review here we go

sarges death was expected and the character arc that simmons got from it was pretty well done , he was cool — sarges death did just seem kind of rushed but that’s probably also time constraints , nobody seemed super affected by it tho and that kinda put me off ☹️ sure the reds were like Sad right after he died , and grif + simmons had the moment at his grave, but it’s literally not brought up again ? simmons just gets to be a leader kinda and tucker doesn’t get told he killed sarge, nobody else brings it up after the climax?? not even during the climax as they fight meta again ?

^ although sarges final moments were done very nicely and the va’s had a ton of emotion ❤️

along with that, wash’s acting was amazing as always

grif was characterized really weirdly throughout the first half of the season - i’m guessing they tried to make him the “straight man” of the group but it kinda fell flat because he just seemed irrationally angry every single time he spoke 😭 he kinda evened out as it went on tho so that’s better than nothing

Simmons was very kind this season that was interesting and cool He didn’t have a care in the world

animation was wonky at times but it was there - fight scenes weren’t monty oum style of crazy but they were creative with them and ill give them that! good callbacks during the fight

character callbacks were cool! i’m glad we got a little bit of kai (no reunion with grif tho so that sucks), dylan was there but she was kinda characterized weird, grey there, agent one (???) for some reason, 479er!!!!! she was well done and she fit really well into the plot!, no checkup on chorus life which was kinda sad (no lieutenants boohoohoo) some of the callbacks felt out of place tho

i don’t like how they handled tex cause even though it was cool she was back , i feel like we’ve done this dance a thousand times

also carolina quite literally came out of nowhere ?? how did she just ? drop from the sky what ??? LOL

absolutely no donut at all ? there was like one mention of him that i can remember ? lopez is just forgotten about back at the bases ??? i don’t know if the donut thing was something behind the scenes but Uhh

music wasnt up to par - they just reused old songs basically , the weird song that played during the “Memories” sequence wasn’t good

i’m not the hugest fan of the ais in general so i don’t think about them too much but i feel like sigma wasn’t characterized in the same way he was in the freelancer seasons — in pfl he kind of subtly manipulated maine into becoming meta etc etc but for tucker , he basically just like😭 tortured him WHICH IS PROBABLY CAUSE LIKE tucker knows This guy is evil Ahhhh!!! but still that was a little weird

no grimmons sad day for the rvb fandom - some scenes could be read as grimmons, like grif basically inviting simmons to go with him , i’m confused on why simmons stayed because simmons himself literally said One last mission ? so idk what he’s doing bro idk if he’s staying in blood gulch or what — grif just straight up leaves and like ? are they gonna see eachother again orrr ? what’s happening

the ending felt rushed and kinda weird - just vibes , i think i’m biased because i now realize that not a lot can beat the s13 ending , but even so , grif just kinda leaves and that’s the end 😭

i feel like we didn’t get a whole lot of conclusions for all the characters even tho that’s what was promised

overall i’m probably giving this a solid 5-6/10 , the season was overall very hit or miss in some aspects and scenes

ANWYAYS😭 don’t let my opinions take away from your experience with season 19! this is just how i felt about it after my first watchthrough and my opinions might/will change!

[tomwaterbabies]

Hi! I’ve become obsessed with your vat7k robot au so! If you want them, I have questions!! How does Varian tell his friends back in Corona (Rapunzel, Eugene, etc) and how do they react? Is it something that would end up being widely known, or more of a secret? I’m so interested in this whole conversation. I also worry about how King Frederick would react if he knew because idk he just seems like the kinda guy who would be weird about it.

Also! If you want to, I’d love to know more of Varian’s robot quirks!

Have a great day!

hi hi hi THANK U im really glad people like it! i like sharing stuff about it! here have some of ur favorite candy there's a surplus in this bowl right now for halloween

ANYWAYS yeah so. once varian gets a chance to get at least rapunzel, eugene, and cass alone he would try and just break it to them. i think they can pretty easily tell he's Very Nervous about something so they're already in Comfort The Boy mode when he's trying to talk to them

their responses are different but positive and supportive- much like his other friends. rapunzel i think finds it Very easy to support him. eugene probably says something stupid but means well. cass would be a little concerned with the people who were responsible for causing him Strife but after questioning him about his safety it's clear she doesn't care if he's a robot- she just wants to understand what they need to do to keep him safe

for MOST of the au, i would definitely say it stays a secret. you ask an interesting question in regards to what happens after rapunzel and friends know. i think it probably stays secret, at least for a little bit. people are still wary about robots and just revealing him as one right after the Violent Robot Issue was solved probably wont go well- even if he was the one that helped stop it

which i guess leads to the question about king frederick. i agree he'd probably be weird about it but i do also just kind of hate him lol. i think they know they need to keep varian's identity low-key for the time being. but if the king were to find out, he would have to get past rapunzel to even Think about doing anything cruel. and we know rapunzel will Not be letting that happen

and ty again! here's just one other quirk since this got long (as usual): varian does that robot stutter sort of thing. like when they "glitch" out for a moment. his voice gets more "metallic" sounding and he has trouble processing a word. This is another result of his "code" kind of breaking. It doesn't happen that often but it can sometimes happen when he's feeling high emotions (like being super flustered or angry)

[snarkylinda]

I’m very glad you’re talking about spencer being parentified because it feels like people sometimes gloss over it a bit? or maybe I’m just looking in the wrong places. if this isn’t something you do in you’re blog feel free to just. not respond but do you have any more thoughts or. idk headcanons on how that might have affected him as an adult?

Hi anon! To be honest I have no idea what is essentially discussed alot on the fandom other that a tiny fraction of it I expose myself to because 1#I am too tired and old to deal with fandom discourse about my blorbo, and based on my previous experience with fandoms I KNOW that the most popular the character, the bigger the discourse so haha no- 2# I joined in late lmao literally a couple of months ago, so I am super out of the loop just screaming to the void in desperate needs for someone to scream back 🤲🏼 do this kind of asks actually made me so happy agahagaha 🥰🥰 Buckle up bois this is LONG-

Ok now to those that might come across this and ask themselves what the hell does being parentified means, it's a broad term used for the phenomenon of (at best) a child sharing parental responsibilities due to x circumstance, or (at worst) downright having the parent/child dynamic completely swapped, with the child being the caretaker for the parent and household. You don't have to know deep CM lore knowledge to realize the latter is Spencer Reid to a T. Hell, they aren't even subtle about it lmao:

Btw parentification is often mixed in with abandonment and while they share the "child being forced to grown up" too quickly, the former is often distinguished by the fact that, more often that not as is this case, the parent still cares for them but are unable to do so how it should be (tho there are several cases where parentefication is an part of willing neglect, sadly) and added to the fact that they have to look after themselves- they have to look after another.

This is a really complicated, broad topic and I just mentioned this to go full disclaimer and that I don't blame Diana at all for how messed her son ended up since she can't help it- and to make a joke about how Spencer was abandoned and parentified. Also harassed. Guys he wasn't even 18-

Anyways but back to your question, how do I think that affected Spencer growing up....well in everything basically lmao

But I will take on two instances that had stood up to me the most: emotional management and hiding secrets.

The second one is easier: you would catch this man dead before he vents to you over something other than his shitty dad (that I find very funny tbh) and when he does is because he is at his limit and about to fucking cry.

Now don't get me wrong: we all are entiltde to our privacy. These are grown ass adults and they have lives outside of their working circle....

Right?

Haha we have an problem-

So yeah, Spencer kind of actually needs to rely on his co-workers because he has literally nobody else to rely on-

And yet

Oh here is the thing- Spencer is one polite boi but he is also blunt, if he doesn't want someone on his business he says so (look back when Alex discovered him and Maeve) this is literally "I wanted to tell you but I feel like I shouldn't"- this is not season 1 mind you, this is season 11, and yet here he was one of his oldest friends literally grabbing him by the arm and having to tell him it's never a bother- I am the only one fucking crying at this?

Excuses seems to come to Spencer like it's second nature- "sorry a tube on my apparment broke" "Oh I....I tripped!" "There was a lot of traffic so..." "I was watching an movie" and I am not am expert on USA's history or some shit, but Child Protection Services had been a thing since at least the 60s, so I don't think that a 10yo living alone with his mentally ill mother would have flown well- you get the idea.

I think this scene summarizes the whole thing perfectly

Get it? it's irony. (I love how Spencer is about to say something like dismissive "thank you" but because this shit hit too close to home to comfort he just gave a polite smile and walked away. That silence was LOUD) Because Spencer had always had done the former but the latter er.... :D

And it's not only when it concern Diane btw, any problem whatsoever Spencer would rather lock himself up (literally lmao) that sit down and talk about it- it's only when his bs is exposed and he can't refutage (like that little scene after Gideon's death when Rossi asks him if he had been there all night- he points out the fact he is wearing the same cardigan as the day before) that he opens up....or he runs away, which leads me to the second big point that I think shows how much Parentification fucked him up:

Spencer has the emotional maturity of a teenager.

I talk about this literally all the time so I'll be shorter lmao basically Spencer... has an issue- ok he has lot of issues- and that is the way he dislikes direct confrontation, so whenever he is hurt or angry he would rather be dismissive and passive-agressive that talk it out with the person- even going as far as turning away and storming out of the room.

(Here is the part where I put the screencaps but him storming off would be out of focus so lmao er.... Elephant Memory, Memoriam, Proof, a little part in 15x2 and The Gathering)

Now... I do think that a grown-ass man doing this shit is hilarious, like I love Spencer's bratty side so much lmao but it's an clear sign of someone that never learned how to deal with his emotions on a healthy way, someone that 6 out of 7 days of the week had to interiorize everything in and because of that holds on so much....resement, so much repressed anger but also without an stable force on his life to help him manage that- so we are left with an teenager trapped in an adult's body, loss at how to handle shit like he always did.

....And want to know the worst part about an Parentified boy onto adulthood?

That they don't know better.

[jenyifer]

Last twilight ep 5 initial reaction

I’m glad I was less emotional this week. Yes Mhok waiting for Day was precious. But I feel like overall the episode was on the up and up for Mhok and Day. So many happy things happened this ep that it feels like we are waiting for the shoe to drop. I hope that Night is with that shoe cause I’m missing Mark.

The August thing I mean he better have a good fucking reason for not showing up. Idk why or how he showed up that late?! What’s the point? Did he think Day would still be there waiting for him? I can’t believe that. Very sus.

The convo about Rung hurt my heart terribly. The worst part of death is when you try to remember the last time. Last time I said I love you. Last time they hugged me. Last time we went to dinner. Then in your grieving doing simple things feel wrong without them for ages. It’s so beautiful that Mhok willingly shared his sister’s memory with Day.

Photo fun time

Give me sweaty girls doing sport yes plz. Gahhhh so beautiful.

The last twilight story throughout once again was incredibly touching I felt like the story was more about Mhok as the invisible girl. Day makes him come out side and appreciate his life. I adore this scene it’s so romantic. Look at Mhok 😭😭😭

Mhok was not having it. I wish Day understood how much Mhok is down bad for him. Look at him holding Day’s hand. 😩 I understand why Day is confused it’s hard to accept anyone could except you when they didn’t know the better version of yourself. I know it’s not the same but have you tried dating after gaining a lot of weight? For me it feels bad because I think well they can’t actually like me now why try. I assume that’s similar to Day’s blindness to Mhok’s feelings. He can’t believe it because he hates he’s blind so badly. August had been there before he lost his sight so in his head he had a chance.

Night doesn’t seem like a bad guy. I feel like their mom pitted her children against each other and gave everything to Day because of his success. Possibly why Day has such a hard time trusting Night. Night having a hard time forgiving Day and being there for him because he gets pushed back every time. So Night only got a car after Day’s accident? Night had to lie to his friends about what happened to his brother? Night had to deal with trying to care for his care resistant brother? Yeah I’d be fooled by him too. I do think it’s weird he’s not been about but as I said Day pushes him away and loves Mhok. Last time we saw Night he stuck up for Mhok. Decent guy at the very least Day.

The bridge date was beautiful I wanted them to kiss so bad but Mhok walking backwards while looking at Day was so romantic.

Day with his sunflower will live in my heart he’s just a flower boy and I love that for him. I also like the feel of plants. If I go on a hike I will be touching leaves and petals like a crazy person ahah.

Award for most dramatic love triangle scene goes to. Idk why August didn’t show up he was almost crying looking at Day. I didn’t feel comfy about Mhok not telling Day about August. Yes it was kind but Day deserved to talk to August. 

The saddest sunflower facing the shadows 😭😭😭

[born-to-riot]

I’m here, you naughty little child! I can see you’re very greedy for your present. I like the sinners. Let’s play.

I’m glad we’re staying in Prythian. It’s a wonderful playground of intrigue and plotholes that we can bash our boys around in. Let’s throw our boys into a situation with Rhysand planning another mission. Eris smarms them up and Azriel is High Lord’s silent, broody shadow.

1. Would you like to see more of Tamlin, Lucien, or Nyx?

2. Which parts of the world would you like to see?

3. What rating are you comfortable with?

4. Do we care about Mor?

Let’s put some other players on the field!

HI SANTA

I am a naughty child, this is true

(I may be greedy but I am also patient SO DONT WORRY)

(I am also a gremlin, as you may have noticed)

IM WXCITED FOR PLOT HEHEHEHEE

now to answer your questions

1. While I like all three options I’d say more of Tamlin (and Lucien) but also I don’t like Tamlin bashing (he may be a bitch but like shit if Feyre pulled that shit on me I’d be a bitch too)

I WANT YOU TO HAVE FUN WRITING SANTA so feel free to take anything I say with a grain of salt. (I know I may be a sinner, but I’d feel really really bad if you were stressing and not enjoying whatever you were making for me)

2. I am happy anywhere in Prythian or whatever other place you may have in mind (I must admit I have a certain weakeness for the Summer Court Men) (and I think Amren and Varian are just an untapped opportunity of comedic potential)

However, Santa, feel free to take me anywhere your mind sees fit, I don’t really have a particular vision in mind when it comes to location. Autumn is pretty, Night is Azriel’s home, and there are so many other courts they could take their mission. (Long story short: be as creative as you want)

3. SKY IS THE LIMIT

I’m unsure if you’ve seen my Ao3 bookmarks, or know anything about my preferences (which is fine because you will be my friend after this you have no choice)

But if it gives you any indication of my preferences, the SAW franchise is one of my favorites. (I like blood and danger and gore, not necessary but when used well it can raise the stakes, yeah?)

As for smut, you can make it as kinky as you want as long as it serves the plot lol. With Azris, I don’t have a preference for a top, in fact I think switching depending on the mood is great. I also will never say no to a mating frenzy (I love it when it’s feral and it’s almost like there’s some other power driving them BECAUSE ITS HOT OKAY. I’m also weak to emotional support and soft shit (mostly because I think with Azris it’s a nice breath away from all the havoc of their daily lives and responsibilities and IDK IM RAMBLING)

(I’m a baby tho and I don’t like reading smut about azris with other people than each other so if that’s what is to happen than make that specific type of smut only suggestive please)

So I guess that’s a really long way of saying that I am game for pretty much anything. WITH SMUT it’s not necessary as I care more about the plot. But at the same time, I feel like you have a creative mind so I trust you Santa.

(Again BE MY FRIEND)

My hard limits are incest, scat, and DV(specifically between azris)

4. I DONT CARE ABOUT MOR

Listen usually I’m a girls girl through and through BUT YOURE TELLING ME THIS GIRL LET THIS GUY FAWN OVER HER FOR CENTURIES ALL BECAUSE SHE WAS A LESBIAN (like I know Az is at fault too because buddy needs to learn how to take a hint) BUT like I’m sorry—SOMETHING IS SUSPICIOUS. She wouldn’t be this cagey about the truth of whatever happened with Eris (he keeps saying it’s not what everyone thinks) if she isn’t lying about something. (Acotar fandom, please don’t hate me. It’s just at this point it seems the only thing Mor does for the IC is cause drama) (I may be exaggerating). Point is Santa- I DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT HER (I don’t hate her, I’m just not enthused at this point)

5. I’m not sure if this was a question, but about putting other players on the field…

- I’m fine with OCs because I think sometimes canon characters can’t fill a certain role in the story that is missing.

- I also like when Beron has some nuance to him, nothing can come from nothing and sure he’s flawed but he has more aspects to him than what Feyre sees in sure (I guess l mean It probably isn’t as emotionally easy for Eris to kill him as he plays it off) (I’m not saying make Beron a good guy btw, he’s a piece of shit, but I’m saying like hey if you want to add some nuance I wouldn’t mind)

(Also I’m purely just rambling PLEASE I AM JUST TRYING TO GIVE YOU AS MUCH INFORMATION so you can figure out what you need to)

______

OKAY SANTA I ANSWERED ALL YOUR QUESTIONS!

Feel free to ask me more

As I’ve said I want to be friends

Am I allowed to ask you some in return ?

ALSO don’t think I fail to notice you are aware of my sins. Like calls to like. I bet you’re naughty too hehe

ANYWAY I think I’ve yapped long enough, I hope this helps

I would apologize for rambling but I think you like it 😘

[igbylicious]

IGBYYYY!!! you've truly outdone yourself I've been emotionally compromised by the latest whichever way chapter,,, I don't think I am going to make it to the final chapter rip :(´ཀ`」 ∠):

Nah like seriously I think you just went into my head plucked all of my favorite things and wrote them down SO WELL. From the playful banter in the supermarket to the love confession in the kitchen I was kicking my feet and squealing!!!!

Mrs. yoon aka neighbor of the year and my favorite lady <3 I was got mortified for the guys but I genuinely enjoyed her little appearance so much. Especially since it perfectly segued into them having a talk about their relationship I love everyone being so emotionally mature. What a chill lady wish her the very best in her fictional little world~

JOONGIE MENTIONED!!! I was looking forward to this and I am so glad we got a little peak of topaz in your universe. what a treat thank you <3 <3

You know what else I love? the fact that you've wrote their dynamic developing SO WELL that even WE feel secure in their relationship that the labels talk or even the jealousy talk didn't feel distressing for even a second. Truly a comfort fic <3 really loved wooyoung's retelling of their fight over moving. san being upset at the idea of moving away from reader nooo I can see the pouting it's so precious pls.

Speaking of our precious san. YOU GAVE US WHINEY SUBBY TIED UP SAN I LOVE YOU! but also the way you wrote it again YOUR MIND!! the way reader was checking on san so gently slowly letting him get used to the idea letting him know it's okay to ask to be taken care of like that oh my sappy heart couldn't take it. idk how you've done it but even reading about reader tying up san was relaxing to me up until it wasn't 👀aksdlas.

you know whiny san is my actual weakness and you truly unleashed him on my poor unsuspecting mind. the desperate begging??? the chest harness??? and he's such a sensitive boy the TEARS!!!! dacryphilia go brrr loved the soft tummy appreciation too. everything was just perfect!

reader was right woo went FERAL at them both! and I can't even blame him because I was cheering him on. love how everyone was on the big tiddie appreciation committee too. I really just keep going on how you hit every note perfectly the smut was simply delectable.

again just wanna say how much I love wooyoung's emotional maturity and reader's character development. you did so so well. I am proud of them AND you! The way they communicate is such a comfort <3

Thank you for sharing I knew it was a bit of a struggle but as I say every time you make it so worth the wait <3 I hope you're feeling better and everything is working out well with you!

Oh and I had a bit of a random question but like did you used to write for other fandoms before ateez? your writing style seems so polished honestly it made wonder ^^ and apologies for super incoherent ask it is embarrassingly late once again XD

lol oh yeah to answer the question first; i started writing fanfic when i was like 10 years old and never stopped*! ^^ so i have a decent few years of practice under my belt hehe ♡(>ᴗ•)

(* = ok ‘never stopped’ is actually a lie; i did dip into original fic for a while but drifted back to fanfic bc it’s just more fun and satisfying to me :3 esp au’s, that’s kinda like the best of both worlds!)

OFC THERE IS TOPAZ IN THIS AU (♡°▽°♡) i just love them so so so much asdsjkadskjasdk (≧◡≦)

ahhh i’m happy those moments weren’t distressing; i’m trying to hit a happy middle ground where we don’t go too big on the angst, but the trio also doesn’t just magically fall into a healthy dynamic w/out putting any work into it either! and yeah Woosan will be Woosaning lol, ofc they do their harmless bickering from time to time hehe <3

ASDKJDASKJ YAYYYY I’M SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED SUBBY WHINY SAN he is a joy to write, such a good boy uwu. and i mean is it really an Igby fic if there isn’t at least a lil dacryphilia in there? 👀 i just can never resist temptation lol it’s so easy to sprinkle over the smut for flavour (╹ڡ╹ ) and i’m happy you appreciated the soft tummy appreciation! i wasn’t sure if anyone other than me would be alright w/ San ab erasure asdjkdsjksd xD

Woo’s brain short-circuited at what he saw and who can blame him <3 it might not have been a big secret fantasy of him to dom San like this by himself, but gosh he’s more than happy to play together when reader’s there to give him that lil nudge hehe ♡

and ahhh yeah i love writing Wooyoung’s mature side ;; he gets to be both emotionally mature AND a bratty menace in this fic lol this man contains multitudes (⌒▽⌒)♡

thankyouuu it’s really been one thing after the other, i hope things quiet down so i can just write my comfort fic in peace and get the next part to you asap asdjkdaskj <3

and PLS apologising for making me kick my feet & giggle & blush every time i read this ask??? yes how DARE you! ( `ε´ )

[seoafin]

please free to ignore this if you’re not comfortable talking about it but i saw in a previous post you mentioned in the tags that you got into a huge fight with your best friend last year because you felt she didn’t put in enough effort on her end and i feel like i’m on the brink of going through this right now 😭

i’ve been friends with this girl for over 13 years now and love her to death but sometimes i feel as if my presence gets taken for granted. i feel like she believes she doesn’t have to put in much effort into our friendship anymore because i’ve been around for so long so there’s no way i’m gonna leave…and i HATE it!! there’s so much i have to say but i don’t even know where to start.

this is also semi related to my feelings on this but we have a third friend as well who we consider our best friend (corny to say but we’re a trio) but i feel this way towards her too sometimes. these past few months she got in a relationship and she while she definitely talked to us, she talked to us less and less in favour of her boyfriend (uni def played a part in this but she talked to him daily while we were lucky if we heard from her) but this past week lots happened and they ended up breaking up. this is genuinely the most i’ve heard her talk about her life with us in MONTHS and while i���m glad she did i’m a little bitter that she realized she should break up with him after some guy she befriended told her how trashy he is while i’ve been telling her that for MONTHS for it to fall on deaf ears.

it’s so annoying and i feel so stupid constantly putting in all this effort into these friendships giving all this advice for it to be ignored and be reciprocated back in lazy ways (they both give horrible lazy advice to me the rare times i have asked for it and it ends up just making me feel stupid).

i actually don’t know what i wanted out of dumping this in your asks but i just feel a little insane currently and think i’m crazy and care too much about little things. i feel so obsessive over these friendships and every little thing that happens while i know those two don’t think twice about it 😭 i guess i’m asking for advice on how to be less co-dependent? idk but you definitely don’t need to answer this if you don’t want, i know it’s A LOT to unpack and ur not a therapist…it’s very weird i’m dumping this here i sincerely apologize…

i do hope you’re having a fantastic day!!

i think what helped me the most was the realization that (cue that tumblr post) you can't force reciprocation. sometimes relationships and friendships will fizzle out. in the end all you can do is look back on and appreciate the time you did spend with them. there's no such thing as a wasted relationship. the only thing i can say is talk to them! i know how exhausting it can be to continuously be the one reaching out and how sad it is thinking you're the only one with any stake in the relationship

if you decide that this is a relationship worth preserving then you need to sit them down and talk to them. if they still don't understand then it's not worth it. let them go! i will say upon talking to my friend she did promise to try more and do better. and while she hasn't completely done that 100% i think i was at a point in my life where i recognized that our friendship wasn't going to be the same as it was when we were constantly seeing each other almost every day in hs. i can't keep on holding on to the past when we're completely different people! i'd say we're in a good place now. not as close as we once were but close enough that i don't need to rely on her when i go through life crises. i also don't harbor any resentment towards her anymore. as for being less co-dependent i think it's important to still be able to talk about your problems to a friend but i wouldn't look for emotional fulfillment in them if that makes sense? either find another friend or acknowledge that the advice they offer you comes from a place that doesn't necessarily have your best interests. rant to them but don't hinge your hopes on emotional reciprocation or a resolution. sometimes, just talking helps! you don't need to seek out an answer. also taking up a hobby doesn't hurt.

[thirddoctor]

There was so much going on that I’m not sure I can give an exhaustive review but here are some thoughts:

It was fun! It had a lot of energy and kept me invested the whole way through! Considering all the plot points it was juggling, I expected it to be way more of a mess, especially after what happened with Flux, so I was pleasantly surprised.

I thought Thirteen’s regeneration scene was sweet and very fitting for her character. In a version of the show where she’d had better writing throughout her run I’m sure it would’ve made me emotional.

Seeing Ace and Tegan was fun, plus the other companions at the end, especially Ian. William Russell has been long overdue for a return to the show, and I’m glad he finally got one, however small.

Also nice to see most of the surviving Doctors back. I went wild when Paul McGann showed up because I’d kinda only been expecting Peter, Colin, and Sylvester.

Jo Martin of course always kills it in the role and I wish we could’ve had her as a full time Doctor.

Not sure why Vinder was there but I like the character so I can’t object too much. I guess we can finally lay the “Vinder and Bel are the Doctor’s parents” theory to rest, thank goodness.

Also not sure why they brought Ashad back if they weren’t going to do anything interesting with him. He was a cool villain! Probably the best in the era! I wish they hadn’t killed him off so unceremoniously in S12. I don’t care about boring clone!Ashad who’s just acting as the Master’s henchman.

As for the Master himself, I’m not sure I can begin to articulate all my thoughts - some are positive, some are negative. His plan was very convoluted and I still don’t understand parts of it. Also I don’t think they say why he actually wants to steal the Doctor’s body (besides as a means of killing her and ruining her reputation). I can make some obvious assumptions (for example, he wants her potentially unlimited regenerations, he feels inferior to her because of the Timeless Child stuff and wants to be her, etc.) but I don’t think any of that is ever hinted at.

Seeing him in Jodie’s costume was fun though.

Maybe I’m simply a killjoy but I thought a lot of the references were cringe. idk I’ve just had my full of that kind of thing lately from all the major franchises so hearing the Master repeat the “I always dress for the occasion” line or make a Master’s Dalek Plan joke (that everyone including Big Finish had already made years ago) does nothing for me. Maybe I need more joy in my heart but I don’t care about the “blossomiest blossom.” It just feels like pandering.

Moving on to the companions, I’m sorry but Dan and Yaz’s exits were so funny. What... what was the point of Dan? He’s fun, I like him, but why was he here? He’s just some guy who’s just kind of there until he just kind of decides to go home. He never even got to be a plasterer. 😔

And Yaz leaves... because... the Doctor’s going to regenerate? That’s it? Like, after all this time, after showing how devoted she is to the Doctor, this is the reason she goes back home? Obviously Mandip Gill is leaving, but in universe it comes off as really weird. Companions have stuck around when the Doctor regenerates plenty of times. Clara and Rose do! Lots of Classic companions do! Is Yaz just that attached to Thirteen’s face?

Also they didn’t even reference Thasmin ahdjsdgh sorry guys

Literally how is anything about Yaz’s character resolved by this ending? Is she still a cop? What’s her relationship like with her family these days? Is she even still speaking to them regularly? Will she ever tell them the truth about her life? Does she finally feel confident in herself instead of having to rely on the Doctor? There’s just... nothing.

I wish my boy Ryan had shown up but Graham is always fun, it was good to see him.

Anyway I’m hyped for next year. I may not always see eye to eye with RTD, but the man definitely knows how to write. And Ncuti Gatwa looked great in the brief glimpse we got in the trailer!

8/10 overall. I think it was a decent sendoff for Thirteen!

[littleoddwriter]

hello! could you write something about jay and a veterinary assistant falling for each other and him recruiting them for a rescue mission when he sees their pure love for animals? <3

Love for All Creatures | Jay (Okja) x GenderNeutral!Reader

Hello there! Thanks for the request, I really hope you like what I've done with it! I'm sorry if it's not too- idk - good, I guess. I re-wrote this several times and I'm still not quite happy with it whatsoever, but I've kinda reached my limit. Sorry! Hope it's still okay, at least. ^^" <3

summary; See above.

notes; Gender Neutral!Reader; Vet Assistant!Reader; Falling in Love; Mentions of Animal Cruelty; Hurt Animal; Kind of Unrealistic, most definitely (sorry).

“Excuse me?” a young man called. He had what looked like a golden retriever puppy in his arms. It was bleeding. “I need help, please. We’ve just rescued this little guy and- Well, I’m sure you can see it.”

Nodding, you jumped up from your seat and walked over to the man, gently taking the puppy from his arms to bring him into a free examination room to stabilise him until the doctor was able to treat him properly. The man followed you inside the room.

“Thank you,” he said.

“It’s my job,” you responded, shooting him a small smile. You learned to say just that a while ago, instead of your usually passion-driven speech about how you loved helping all animals and that there was no need to thank you at all, after you had often gotten too emotional then. It wasn’t just your job, it was your vocation. 

Silence settled between you two, while you closed up the bleeding wound on the puppy’s right front leg and checked his vitals afterwards. For now, he was stable.

“What’s your name?” you asked the man, as you stroked the puppy’s fur soothingly, “Mine’s Y/N.”

“I’m Jay,” he said. He looked like he wanted to say more or leave immediately, but forced himself to stay. In a way, you found him very intriguing and you kind of just wanted him to stay so you could get to know him.

“You said you rescued him, Jay. By accident, or?” you inquired further, having been curious about that ever since he’s said it.

“Not by accident, no. Uh, I’m part of the A.L.F. - the animal liberation front - and we’ve just raided an illegal and abusive breeding farm. The others are on their way to bring the other dogs we rescued to safety now, but this one’s been hurt, so, here we are,” Jay explained to you, impressing you with the passion and honesty behind his words. You imagined that he wouldn't normally just tell someone this. It made you feel a little special.

“I’ve heard about the A.L.F. I’m glad people like you exist, you know? I can only imagine how dangerous and unnerving it must be. Especially considering all the horrors you’ve probably witnessed already. But it’s important to do what is right and save those that cannot save themselves.”

Jay looked surprised at what you said, but smiled.

“You’re right. I’m relieved you see it that way. It was risky of me to come in here like this and also tell you about what I do. Others would have called the police on me,” he admitted.

“For what? Doing what’s right? Is that what we call the police for nowadays?” you asked, looking at him in disbelief.

Chuckling, Jay nodded, “My thoughts exactly. But unfortunately, a lot of people don’t think what we do is right at all. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.”

After this conversation, Jay left, knowing the puppy was safe now and having received a message from another member that he was needed. 

You couldn’t get him out of your head for the rest of the night. And even on the next day, your thoughts kept going back to him. There was something about him that had made you feel comfortable and even calm in his presence. You wanted to know so much more about him.

And you did get your chance. Because from then on, he came in more often with any kind of animal that he's rescued and that needed medical care. And every time, you talked more, getting to know each other bit by bit. 

______

Months later, you were officially dating. 

You still didn't know his real name, but he's told you that he felt more comfortable being called Jay, and so you never thought too much about it, then. 

What you did know was that he never lied to you. He was incredibly sincere with everything he said and did, which you really appreciated. It was just so easy to be with him.

And that was why you weren’t surprised at all to find yourself falling hard and quick. Only those few months later, you could already tell that you were in love with Jay and that you were just falling deeper every day.

In bed, you were waiting for him to come back home from a mission. He texted you a couple of hours ago to let you know that everything went well and that he was on his way, so that you wouldn’t worry so much. Needless to say, you worried anyway, hence why you stayed up; even though it was nearing three AM.

When the door finally opened and Jay came in, looking exhausted but pleased with himself, you opened your arms wide for him. Immediately, he kneeled on the bed and let you wrap him up in your arms, kissing him as a greeting.

“God, I’ve missed you,” he sighed, kissing your forehead. 

“And I’ve missed you, my love.” Gently, you combed your fingers through his hair, letting him stay half on top of you and between your legs. 

“Y/N, I have to ask you something,” Jay said after a couple of minutes of comfortable silence passed. 

You acknowledged it with an affirmative hum.

“I was wondering if you’d like to come on a mission with me soon. We could really use your help, considering your veterinary background. You clearly love animals more than I could put into words, which is something I love about you. So, what do you say?” he explained then, making your jaw drop slightly. 

In a way, this was your dream. It may have been dangerous and you weren’t sure if you could stomach whatever horrors you would have to face; but you really wanted to help those lovely creatures. 

“Uh, sure! I’d love to, Jay. Count me in,” you agreed, smiling shyly. 

In response, he kissed you deeply and passionately. 

Ever since, you've been a proud member of the A.L.F, alongside Jay. It was hard to balance it with your work as a veterinary assistant at first, but you soon found a way to make it happen. And besides, it was not only worth it for helping all those animals, but also to spend a lot more time with Jay, then.

[proserpina-magnus]

hi I hope you’re feeling good and staying hydrated

I was wondering if you would feel comfortable with writing a poly!marauders x reader one shot where she struggles with eating, especially sweets - and the boys being supportive etc. idk I just feel guilty even for wanting to eat something or drink a hot cocoa.

sorry if that was all over the place and sorry if I made you uncomfortable that’s the last thing I wanted to do. really sorry, love you so much

hi! I'm glad you requested this, I really hope you find some sort of comfort in this. I want you to know that you deserve to eat and if you ever need someone to talk to, you can always message me privately. I would love to help however I can. 

- quick note before you read, I included Peter (young, of course), I tried to not make his character really talkative in case you only wanted the main three. 

The marauders when you struggle with eating 

word count: 2292

THIS CAN BE VERY TRIGGERING, PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU READ THE WARNING BEFORE CONTINUING!! 

[ warning: fem reader, eating issues/(disorder?), HEAVY description of guilt revolving food, swearing, nicknames such as “love” and “pup”, slight kissing, hand holding, anxiety, multiple romantic partners ] 

You stared through a crack between your bed curtains, completely in the dark aside from a small glow of light. You can barely tell the time if you slide ever so slightly, making you aware of the bare feeling in your stomach.

8:49 am, was read in bright red digital lights. Your face doesn't shift to another expression other than complete mellowness. You denied to hear what your dorm mates were yelling at you. "[ name ]! One last chance to get out of bed or I'm leaving for breakfast without you!"

You yelled a small "whatever", fed up with the constant yelling. You wanted to be alone with this empty feeling, completely in the dark.

"I better see you in class!" She called before you heard the door close. Finally alone in the room, you lay completely still. When your stomach growled, you felt a deep guilt wash over you. The guilt of eating filled you whole, almost enough to fill your empty stomach.

If you went to the great hall, you would just shove your mouth full. It was better if you just stuck it out till lunch, usually, they didn't serve as many sweets than.

You waited 9 minutes, which felt like hours in the silence. You were just about to close your eyes when a loud knocking came at your door.

Your eyebrows raised, lifting your hand to pull back the curtain. You heard loud whispers, making it clear who your visitors were.

"Go away!" You shouted to the door, hearing their whispers fade for a moment before you saw the doorknob turn. You quickly pushed the curtain closed, covering you in complete darkness. You sank even deeper into your pillows, covering yourself with a heavy blanket as you only wished to be at peace for once.

"Love, you need to come down for breakfast," Remus's voice came first, you heard the curtains being pulled back to completely showcase your bed. You felt the bright light through the blanket, closing your eyes tight.

"I'm not hungry," you told them, somehow hoping they would just go away. But you felt a weight shift in the bed, one of them had sat down right beside your legs.

"You didn't eat that much during dinner yesterday, s'think you should eat," James's voice came, his voice was always comforting. It was deep like honey, another wave of guilt had filled you.

"I'm not hungry," you told them again, uncertainty in your answer this time as you felt a hand get placed on your knee.

"I don't want to eat," you continued, the blanket still pulled over your head as you stared into the darkness. It went quiet for a few moments, you could feel their emotions shift the room as you felt this nervous sweaty feeling.

"Just because you don't want to eat, doesn't mean you shouldn't," Remus said, the blanket slowly getting pulled away to expose your head. Your hair was clumsily sticking to your head, tangles meshed together as you stared ahead at nothing.

Your gaze first met Sirius, since he was the one sitting closest to you on the bed. James was leaning against your trunk, a sorrowful expression on his face when he realized your state. Remus was standing, hands over his chest as you shifting between feet, he looked like a wounded animal. Peter was sitting on top of your dorm mate's bed, fidgeting with his fingers as he gave you a small smile.

"You're allowed to eat love, you shouldn't feel guilty for keeping yourself healthy," Sirius smiled wide, hoping you as well would show him a smile. You only looked towards your bedside, reaching for the glass of water.

"It's easier said than done," you corrected him, finishing off your water. The past few weeks you had begun to drink more water, hoping it would give you some comfort for the food you hadn't eaten.

"Truth be told love, we wouldn't care what you'd look like," James replied, standing up straight before making his way over to your bed. He leaned down, kissing your cheek sweetly.

"Well, I care what I look like!" You told him, Remus tapping his foot anxiously as he watched you display your guilt.

James wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you up in a sitting position. You held a deep frown on your face, looking at Sirius as you finally wrapped your arms around James.

"You can care about how you look all you want, but if what your doing to accomplish that is harmful you can't be doing that," Remus told you, staring at you deeply.

"Not eating is harmful, you know that." Remus continued with his little speech, James still buried into your embrace. You wiggled your fingers through his thick hair, pulling him closer.

"I don't care," you told him, not breaking your stare with Remus. You felt like yelling and screaming at them to leave, but the feeling of warmth James was providing gave you a moment to calm down.

"We do," Sirius finished the little argument quick, shutting your response down as he leaned over to kiss your lips gently. You let him kiss you, barely giving any effort to kiss him back. He smiled when he pulled away, ruffling your hair.

"James c'mon, we're gonna go get food," Remus said, walking towards the door as James gave a long squeeze before departing from you. You reached your hands out to Sirius instead, wanting the warmth again.

Sirius happily excepted your request, sliding into James's place as his arms came to wrap around your blanket-covered body.

"We'll be quick, promise," James said while giving a beaming smile.

"Don't hurry," you said, still grumpy from the morning and the feeling of an empty stomach. Remus shot you a glare, making you back down quickly as you watched Peter come over to your bed.

"Do you want me to brush your hair?" Peter asked quietly, you nodded reaching over to the hairbrush as you passed it to him. Peter slipped behind you, section your hair briefly before sliding the brush down your tangled hair.  When you winced at a certain tug, Peter instantly pulled back slightly.

"Sorry love," he mumbled, quickly getting rid of the tangles. You leaned back into peters chest, Sirius shifting to rest against your chest.

"It's alright," you told him, giving a small smile as you felt Peter's fingers come to massage your scalp. Starting from the back of your skull to the front, your head instantly lolled back at the affection.

"That feels so nice," you gave a small praise, feeling comfortable as the door opened. James and Remus came in, plates filling their hands as almost every type of breakfast item filled it to the brim.

"I'm not gonna eat all that!" You told them, astonished from how much of a variety there was. Your mouth watered at the sight of it, a deeper hunger making itself known.

"It's alright, we'll finish what's left," James said, plopping the plates down on your bed. Sirius and Peter hadn't made any changes in their position, you looked down towards a sleeping Sirius.

"Sirius come on, [ names ] has to eat," Remus whispered into Sirius's ear, They quickly gave you space. When Peter shifted, you caught his arm in your hand.

"No, stay, I like it," you told him, relaxing back into his chest as his arms came to rest against your waist.

You got passed a buttered pastry by James, you stared at it for a minute. The lies making you feel guilt you didn't deserve, you debated whether you deserved such a sugary treat.

"It's alright love," Remus said first, coming to sit next to your side as he rested his hand against your cheek.

"It's really hard," you admitted to him, tears filling your eyes briefly before you looked away to stare at nothing. Remus brought your face back to his, giving a gentle smile.

"We know love, we're right here okay? You're safe and you deserve to eat," Remus told you, The rest of the guys agreeing. You sniffled slightly, nodding as you took the pastry from James.

"It's really awkward if your all just waiting for me," you told them, Sirius whipped his head around so fast you'd thought he'd get whip-lash.

Remus was telling Sirius off, distracting the boys with the small fight. You watched as Remus began to curse at Sirius, James coming to Sirius's defence. Remus was so easy to piss off, it was kind of entertaining.

You took a bite of the pastry, a warmth filling your mouth as you chewed slowly then swallowed, it felt good. Peter yelled from behind you, telling Sirius off for something he said that you didn't listen to.

You laughed at the bickering, finishing your pastry as you reached for another one without a second thought.

"Do you want one Peter?" You asked, turning your head slightly to catch his eyes.

"Sure, can you pass me the biscuits?" He asked, you gladly excepted. You gave him the biscuit, grabbing one for yourself as you finished off your food quickly.

The boys' bickering came to a haunt, Remus pointing to the bed as they all shut up and sat next to you again. You pointed towards the toast, Sirius passed it to you.

"Are you guys gonna eat?" You asked, taking a bite out of your buttered toast. It melted in your mouth, you had to resist the feeling of rolling your eyes to the back of your head.

"Of course," James said, picking up a biscuit as he took a bite. Sirius grabbed a waffle, eating it with his bare hands as Remus gave him a dirty look. Remus waited, eyes strictly on you for a while as he watched you finish your toast.

When you had reached for the fruit, Remus started to eat as well. James passed you a fork, all of the boys had big smiles on their faces.

"Does it taste good?" James asked, you nodded instantly as you swallowed some of the fruit. You started to feel full, but your eyes locked on one of your favourite treats.

"Have it, love," Sirius noticed, passing you the plate as you took it with shaky hands.

"It has too much sugar," you told him, pushing the plate back. Sirius didn't take it, James gave your knee a small pat.

"It's alright, you can still have it," James told you, his voice was firm and comforting as you believed him. You could have it, you deserved it.

"Okay," you whispered, bringing the pastry to your lips as you took a bite. The flavour exploded in your mouth, making you smile. You covered your mouth, chewing.

"Is that a smile I see?" Sirius asked, smiling himself as he leaned closer to you. You finished chewing the bite, swallowing it down quickly.

"Oh shush," you told him, pushing him away as you rested back onto Peter. You shuffled your feet, laying them over James's legs as you continued to chew.

After the last bite, you felt completely filled. The guilt had weighed in quickly, making you feel like throwing up as you grabbing onto Remus's hand.

"You alright, love?" He asked you, all eyes on you as you became more nervous.

"Did I eat too much?" You asked, squeezing his fingers tightly between your own. You felt your nerves bundle up, rolling your neck to try and ease the tension.

"No, of course not. If your full then you ate just enough," Remus comforted, bringing your hand to his lips. His words helped you settle down, you reached for your water again. You took a sip before breaking out of Peter's embrace, crawling slightly towards James.

"Hello," James greeted, smiling as he let you push your lips against his. His fingers wrapped in your hair, bringing you closer as you kissed him deeper. You pulled away breathless, your face flushed as you hide against his shoulder.

"We're so proud of you, you've done so well pup. You don't know how much it means to us that your eating," Sirius's voice came beside you, his hand coming to rest onto your lower back. You continued to hide your face against James's chest, letting your eyes close.

"Thank you," you whispered, the guilt had washed away for the moment. You felt completely safe, you deserved this moment.

"It's our pleasure," Sirius said, kissing your head as he started to clean up the plates. The rest of the boys finished what was left quickly like they said they would.

You pulled back, getting off the bed to get dressed for the day. Sirius and James helped you pick out your outfit, landing on a plaid skirt and one of James's oversized jumpers. Peter did your hair, putting in colourful clips that matched your skirt.

"Alright, I'm all ready," you told them after leaving the bathroom, smiling as you played with your hair.

They smiled at you, Remus giving you his hand as you instantly locked your fingers with his. Before they opened the door; they stopped short.

"We know this is difficult for you, but we're so proud of you," Remus said, you gave a small nod at the words. Tears almost falling from your eyes as you brought Remus down into a hug.

You hugged Sirius next, Peter second because he was the closest, Than James. James mumbled his applause into your ear, making you squeeze him tight.  You were almost sobbing at this point, wiping your eyes as your mascara slightly smudged.

"Look what you did," you told them, chuckling as you wiped up quickly. Your eyes puffy and red, but you felt loved so you couldn't care.

[silkgonerough]

💒 Favorite Synastry Placements🍥💕

all based off of my own experiences/observations!

♡ hope you guys like it ♡

♡ moon in the 11th house:amazing! I hadn’t given this placement much thought in the beginning but it’s honestly the best feeling to have with someone. When I read about it I immediately looked up the house synastry between me and my childhood friend who I’ve known since I was born and viola his moon is in my 11th house! Idk how I knew but the energy we have is so comfortable and he’s someone where we can go a year without talking and then see eachother and it would feel like not even a day had passed. It’s a very light, happy, and authentic feeling when your around one another and just very natural. It’s like the other person knows everything about you and instead of feeling uncomfortable or vulnerable you feel accepted and welcomed. Great for friendships or relationships ♡

♡ moon conjunct venus: have this with my best friend :) everytime we get drunk we always end up confessing our love for eachother over text and it’s actually super funny. Very motherly relationship if that makes sense I think of her like my mom bc she always takes care of me! We can be do literally nothing and we’d still have a great time. This placement is great for just loving each others company ♡

♡ sun in the 5th house: super fun to have with anyone romantically or platonically! You two will always know how to make eachother laugh and are the life of the party when together :) the sun person loves being around the 5th house person a lot and may become extra needy for their attention once they realize how good they feel around them! The 5th house person is glad to give all their attention to the sun anyways tho ♡

♡ venus conjunct venus: underrated placement! your ways of showing love are very similar so you both feel comfortable and natural in giving eachother affection.You understand what the other person not only wants but needs without having to say anything. May be someone who enjoys a lot of the same music and art you like as well! Very aesthetically pleasing and loving relationship/friendship. Having this placement can smooth over a lot of hard saturn placements by making it easier for individuals to express their love for eachother.Very wholesome! ♡

♡ mercury in the 5th house: people I have this placement with make me laugh so hard. words are very reassuring and people who have mercury in your 5th know how to brighten up your mood with a couple of jokes! since this is in the house of leo which rules creativity and pleasure you may find yourself talking about a lot of crazy memories and things you’ve done with one another right off the bat. The mercury lights up the house person with their words ♡

♡ moon conjunct/trine jupiter: very very soft and supportive placement! you may feel unusually lucky when the two of you together and it’s because of how much positive energy you exude when together. Good karma tends to just follow you around when your with someone who shares this aspect with you. The moon person really enjoys being with the Jupiter person they admire their confidence and knowledge. The mood between both of you is always joyous and happy with a deep sense of respect for the other. You may exceptions for this person and their differences that you wouldn’t for anyone else! This aspect also helps to smooth out any repressing/negative aspects between you two ♡

♡ venus square mars: so this is definitely not for everyone but I’ve always found myself so attracted to people’s who’s venus’ square my mars vice versa possibly even more than the conjunct... idk why but I think the possibility of growth and change attracts me to them a lot since my love style is fixed (scorpio) I’m attracted to Leo and Aquarius since they’re love styles differ greatly than mine but they stay stable and consistent in how they show that love which is something I appreciate ♡

♡ mars in the 1st house: love the attraction and tension that comes with this aspect! People whose mars are in my first house are always the hottest in my eyes. Besides the sexual aspect the Mars person pushes the house person to take action and do things that may not normally be in their comfort zone. I like relationships/friendships that help me to grow so personally I don’t get annoyed at Mars influence when in this house ♡

♡ moon trine moon: honestly surprised I don’t see this one brought up more! If you share this someone you may probably take it for granted from how natural your connection is. Characterized by emotional harmony and balance this aspect is truely a blessing to see in any circumstance with another person. Being able to be emotionally open and expressive is very important to me with other people so my Pisces moon loves this aspect ♡

♡ venus in the 7th house: another placement that I have with my best friend! I’ve noticed that with most people I have this aspect with our friendships were very loving and physically intimate from the beginning! It didn’t take us very long to become that comfortable with one another and that element still hasn’t changed no matter how long I go without seeing them. ♡

♡ sun/mercury conjunct mercury: I feel like conversation and being able to communicate is a rlly important aspect in any partnership and this one of those aspects where you just kinda know what the other persons thinking without having to say anything. The word jinx may come up a lot too as you get closer with the other person bc your thought processes start to become synced up! I personally rlly like this aspect since it can bring two people very close together through simple conversations ♡

♡ sun in the 9th house: another underrated aspect! I may just love this because I’m a Sagittarius so this feels very comfortable to be in but this is honestly just so fun to have with someone. Lots of adventuring and exploring together both physically and mentally! This is also the type of relationship that helps both partners grow through simply learning about one another. Everything feels larger than life and suddenly you don’t feel that alone anymore when your with eachother ♡

[hella1975]

Me with my internalized transphobia upon hearing what the new chapter is gonna be about: oh god. This is gonna destroy me isn’t it?

Me after reading it: I’m fine I’m so normal and okay and totally. Having normal emotions. None even I’m fine. They’ve only read about love in a thousand different stories and it’s never looked like them. That’s cool and fine actually. Unrelatable and fine. Didn’t take those words to heart at all.

Seriously though I know it’s was a gay thing and not a trans thing but it’s so intertwined. Being bi was easy for me but being trans was something I buried for 10 years and still do and it’s just like. I’ve read, I’ve watched, I’ve listened, and no one looks like me in these stories. And if they do they die or they are villains or they’re boring or background characters with no characterizations. That fucks with you. I didn’t realize exactly how much shame I carry about it until Zuko and Kanut were talking about theirs and ugh. I know in my head that it’s okay but I also know it’s something to be swept under the rug and hushed and privated. I know that I’m only safe in certain places. This has turned sad, my bad, but anyway. I saw myself in this chapter and I wanna thank you for writing it, it was very well done and you can tell you thought about it genuinely. Bato talking to Kanut about how much he loves despite it being unromantic/sexual killed me too. Also! I agree that current terms and labels are jarring to read in fantasy settings, I’m writing a book and I chose to have those labels at the front and just talk about them in the stories but not have the labels said cause it’s. Idk something about it is so weird to read. I love that you agree with that I haven’t seen anyone else with that opinion

ill answer the end bit first before we get into some serious things lol but yes! idk i just read things sometimes in various fandoms where modern lingo is used interchangeably with their universe and it just feels so out of place? like it feels like reading a sci-fi story and suddenly some guy uses the full latin name for a plant like in what world would that just be common knowledge lmao

as for your other comments, im so glad that you could see yourself in this chapter even if it might have opened up some wounds that were easier closed. i was very careful with the dialogue of ch40 and it saw me writing and backspacing and writing again like a million times for each sentence, because it was massively important to me that this wasn't just the 'zuko is gay and kanut is aroace' chapter, but instead the queer chapter. there's a really worrying trend amongst the tiktok generation atm that really sees queer identities pitted against each other. there's no nuance or intersectionality and it becomes 'bisexuals cannot relate to lesbians' and 'aspec cannot relate to other sexualities because i have a fucked up view that queerness is inherently sexual and dont realise how much that shows my age' and 'trans is a gender thing while gay is a sexuality thing so they dont overlap' etc etc. whereas in reality, and i tried to show this in ch40, the thing with being queer that underlies so much of our experiences is always that sense of otherness. zuko can painfully relate to the shit kanut says despite their experiences being incredibly different, one being gay and one being aroace, and it's literally just because they are both queer identities. and you know what? as much as i wanted the dialogue to be perfect so i tweaked it a lot, it was actually an incredibly easy thing to do. i found it very easy to write a mlm character and an aroace character despite me myself being an allo wlw. and im not saying my rep is perfect because it would be my honest to god worst nightmare to be put on a pedestal like that bc i KNOW i'll make mistakes and already have done, but it doesn't change the fact that the basic theme of queerness was very easy to tap into.

i guess what im saying is that being trans is a different thing to what we tackled this chapter, but like you said, it's also not. there's a massive community here for you with open arms, and that's not going to be a miracle cure, but you deserve to know from people who get it that it’s not something to be swept under the rug or hushed or privated. unfortunately, you're right about only being safe in certain places, but this is one of them and you will find others. queerness is beautiful and it makes you you, and that's never something to be ashamed of x

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 299: No Chains Left

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “and then AFO broke out all of the inmates from six other prisons and took a nap. well anyways, here’s the hospital angst.” Kacchan woke up two days later and was all, “WAIT BUT HOW ARE DEKU AND TODOROKI AND ALL OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS EXCEPT IIDA DOING” and then we cut to Shouto’s room where the other U.A. kids were sitting around being Mutually Traumatized and giving each other moral support and such. Everyone was alll, “...”, and then the rest of the Todofam showed up, INCLUDING POSSIBLY REI?! which, omg. The chapter ended with Kacchan STOMPING THROUGH THE HALLS all “WHADDYA MEAN DEKU HASN’T WOKEN UP YET”, dragging along Satou and Mineta behind him, fueled by the power of ALL OF THE FUCKS HE NOW GIVES. He gives so many fucks now you guys. This boy cares so much he can probably deduct it on his taxes.

Today on BnHA: SPEAKING OF PEOPLE WHO GIVE A LOT OF FUCKS, the story cuts abruptly to Hawks, freshly recovering from his near-death experience, and pondering the threads that have weaved the tapestry of his life and led him to this moment. Basically he grew up in poverty with his Jerk Dad and Jerk Mom until his dad got arrested one day and his mom sent him off to go Find Money Or Something, and so he rescued a busload of people and found himself a new career. Back in the present day, Hawks and Jeanist ride around town in Jeanist’s Jamborghini having awkward encounters with civilians in a country on the brink of social collapse, and visiting Hawks’s mother’s home. Hawks is all “I know from an outsider’s perspective it must look like my life currently sucks, but now that the HPSC is gone, my public image is shot, and my parents are finally out of my life, I’m actually feeling SURPRISINGLY GOOD.” Anyway so he’s gonna go meet up with Endeavor now, and p.s. this chapter was fucking fantastic though, damn.

oh my god?? is this Hawks narration?? something about him growing up watching the heroes on TV and thinking of them as fictional characters

okay I scrolled down a little bit more to see the rest of that “Keigo” panel, and wow

this is basically a shed. poor boy definitely grew up rough. let me tell you guys, I came in here ready for some BakuDeku shenanigans; I was not prepared for Hawks Flashback Angst. I AM HERE FOR IT, but also wow I gotta brace myself now lol

HELLO MISTER HAWKS’S JERK DAD, SIR

BnHA sure does have an array of Jerk Dads, doesn’t it. makes me appreciate characters like Masaru and JirouDad all the more for bucking the trend

anyway. so Horikoshi, you really thought that one itty bitty chapter of hospital catharsis would be enough to calm us all before you went right back to showing us child abuse huh. my god man can we rest

BABY HAWKS

swear to god this kid can’t be more than five or six, and yet he has this completely blank look on his face even with his dad looming over him being all threatening and shit. like he’s shut down his emotions to protect himself. imagine what has to happen to a child for him to have learned this at such a young age. fuck

AND MEANWHILE THIS GUY

don’t mingle with humans?? not “other” humans, just humans?? what is this implying here?? and also holy shit Hawks definitely didn’t inherit his looks from his dad orz

then again he doesn’t really bear much of a resemblance to his strung-out mom here either

omg omg omg. and this child is basically trapped here in this environment with these two people. this explains a SHITLOAD about Hawks’s personality though you guys. his ability to completely separate his real thoughts from the face he presents to the outside world. his pragmatic approach to analyzing and solving problems. his layers of emotional walls. turns out almost none of that came from the HPSC training -- that was all learned hands-on in his own personal do-or-die survival nightmare childhood!! oh, boy

and small wonder then that he latched on to Endeavor so strongly if he really is the one who brought down his dad and inadvertently saved him from this. also, just putting this out there, I know people are always talking about him and Dabi being foils, and I think it’s very interesting how Touya grew up in a household where he saw firsthand the dark side of hero society, and so ended up becoming a villain in order to bring it down. whereas young Keigo had almost the exact opposite experience, growing up experiencing the dark side of villain society and becoming a hero in order to bring about a world where no one else has to experience that. just. both of them are so determined not to become their fathers. some interesting parallels there

so Hawks was sort of an accident after his parents had “thanks for helping me not get caught after I killed that guy” sex, and now this little boy is growing up in squalor and being beaten by his father for things like Sitting In The Wrong Out-Of-The-Way Corner Trying Not To Be A Bother To Anybody. holy fuck. this is so rough to read through you guys

wait so does Jerk Dad have a an eyeball manipulation quirk?? because he doesn’t have the wings like his son, but wth are these things??

this presumably also means that Keigo has never been to school or anything either. he basically doesn’t exist. he thinks heroes are fictional characters, he doesn’t realize that they’re real people. these are people who could help him if he could escape and find them, but he doesn’t know, and they don’t know about him

OH MY GOD HE’S JUST SITTING IN HIS CORNER HUGGLING HIS ENDEAVOR PLUSH OH MY GOD

how could this child possibly have an anti-fandom when he’s done NOTHING WRONG HIS ENTIRE LIFE. huh. just explain that to me. lol I mean I’m not looking to pick a fight with anyone, but also, MAYBE I AM, idk?? this kid has gotten me all riled up lmao

anyways, Protect Keigo 2021, and thank you Horikoshi for these three very terrible pages. I am pleased to inform you that you’ve effectively gotten your point across and you may now commence saving this kid already

YAY

oh no, Keigo’s dumbass jerk dad tried to steal a car and the popo nabbed his ass and now his mom can’t just sit around neglecting her VERY YOUNG SON all day long, oh horrors. sorry lady my tiny violin is on backorder. just imagine that I’m playing a very sarcastic song on it for you

anyway so what are you gonna do now, abandon him? I can hardly imagine he’d be worse off, if anything it might be a near-instant improvement

LMAO HE’S ALL “WAIT WHAT ENDEAVOR’S A REAL FUCKING DUDE?!”

AND THEY SAY THAT A HERO CAN SAVE US~~~~ I’M NOT GONNA STAND HERE AND WAAAAAIT~~~~~ I’LL HOLD ONTO THE WINGS OF THE EAGLES, WATCH AS WE ALL FLY AWAAAAAAY~~~~

lol what a randomly pivotal moment in his young life. TIME TO GO MAKE THESE MEMES INTO DREAMS YOUNG ONE

anyway so his mom freaked out and grabbed him and they wound up at a train station with her TELLING HIM TO GO GET HER SOME MONEY, oh my god. SURE MOM LEMME JUST WALTZ RIGHT ON DOWN TO THE “JOBS FOR FIVE-YEAR-OLDS” STORE AND TELL THEM I NEED SOME CASH. ffff manifesting someone to come help him in 3... 2...

...

SIGH, JUST GO RESCUE THE PEOPLE FROM THE BUS, KEIGO. is this the outfit he was wearing when that happened?? it must be, right?? I can’t imagine them surviving more than a couple days out here unless this starts getting REALLY dark in a way I know that even Horikoshi won’t explore, so yeah. cut to the HPSC now please. never thought we’d be glad to see them. I mean sure, it may be an “out of the frying pan...” case, but good god

THANK YOU!!

and I guess it was his mom’s eyeball quirk then. anyway, whatever, see you again never, hopefully. lol oh man. thaaaat, was upsetting. need to center myself here for a sec. NAMASTE

OH YAY THE PRESENT

so we cut from Baby Hawks Angst straight to Present Day Hawks Angst, huh. not that this exhausted and traumatized lil lad isn’t still a baby to me too, I’ll have you know

BEST JEANIST, ALWAYS WITH THE JOKES

“WHEW, THOUGHT YOU DIED ON ME FOR A SEC THERE KID.” lmao. Caleb will no doubt ruin this by making his word choice all stiffly formal as usual, so I’m just going to treasure this “WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, I’M FRESH OUT OF FUCKS” version of Jeanist while I can

look at him, driving his Jeanistmobile

again, is it any wonder Kacchan was bitching about Endeavor’s dinky little car when he was used to riding around town in style like this. anyone else staring at this panel trying to figure out how this car is somehow secretly made of jeans

NOOOOO

FUCK YOU DABI LMAO. PUTTING THESE VOICE ACTORS OUT OF A JOB ONE BY ONE

anyway so Jeanist is all “GOOD THING IT’S THE FUTURE AND WE’RE SO GOOD AT MEDICAL SCIENCE” to handwave how Hawks went from one step shy of being a very handsome corpse, to sitting around texting Jeanist in a car all of two days later

OH MY GOD, AND FINALLY AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS

wait a minute. I’m so confused lmfao. soooo, was Hawks all “anyway, here’s Jeanist’s dead body, you can examine it but please don’t look at him too closely and also I’m gonna need that back unharmed.” how tf did you pull that off lmao

(ETA: also isn’t this technically confirmation of the ol’ Noumu Jeanist theory lol. I’m gonna go ahead and say it is.)

NO BUT PLEASE, CONTINUE. I unironically love reading Horikoshi’s overly convoluted “SEE IT’S NOT A PLOT HOLE” explanations

lkldslfk so wait, you’re telling me Hawks convinced Dabi and the League to put Jeanist’s body in storage, and basically just hoped they wouldn’t use him for any experiments until he could put his plan into action and have the HPSC’s people break in and find and revive him?? WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG. A FOOLPROOF PLAN IF I’VE EVER HEARD ONE

fff this man really asked Jeanist to risk it all to prop up his little cover story, and Jeanist was all “sure why not” omfg. anyways, thanks for recapping all of this out loud for no particular reason in your car conversation you two

LMAO NOW WHAT

TROUBLE YOU SAY? GOOD THING THE NEW NUMBER ONE HERO IS ON THE JOB THEN

okay no it’s just some random thugs strolling around terrorizing the downtown. fuck ‘em. so Jeanist is making short work of them now

uh oh

won’t come? not can’t, but won’t?? what???

WOW

well I guess that makes the local heroes A BUNCH OF SHITHEADS now doesn’t it?? jesus

and okay, serious question, if the cops are spread too thin and the heroes have literally walked out on the job, what exactly is stopping everyone from deciding to use their quirks to defend themselves, legal or not? nothing, as far as I can tell. society just got a hell of a lot more chaotic

anyway so this is an interesting panel here

man, Dabi really did pull it off, didn’t he. well anyway so here’s that better world all of the villains were wanting, you guys! isn’t it so great?? everyone’s terrified and angry and losing hope and society is inches away from collapsing into total anarchy! but hey, at least we exposed the number one hero as a hypocrite

anyway so what are these guys up to

fucking hell, he’s visiting his mom. I really wasn’t prepared to commit this much emotional energy towards reading this chapter today. BUT VERY WELL, WE PRESS ON

?? wait she’s not there?

is this supposed to explain how Dabi knew who Hawks really was? except that there’s the little matter of how he even know where to find his mother in the first place. feels like we’re still missing something there, but oh well

OH MY GOD

RHA I TAKE BACK EVERY WORD I EVER SPOKE AGAINST YOU. YOU ARE A SCANLATION GROUP FILLED WITH ANGELS LMAO. I WILL TAKE THIS PANEL IN MY HANDS, AND TREASURE IT AND KEEP IT SAFE

ANYWAY, BECAUSE MY TIRED BIRD SON’S LIFE SUCKED SO MUCH ALREADY, IT TURNS OUT HE’S ACTUALLY PLEASED WITH THIS NEW TURN OF EVENTS LOL HOW ABOUT THAT

GOOD FOR YOU BBY. YOU GO OUT THERE AND BE YOUR OWN PERSON

and in all seriousness, I love that identity he chooses -- chooses, because it actually is him making a choice now, possibly for the very first time in his life -- is “guy who helps people”, though. it really is nothing short of miraculous that he held on to that kind of optimism and desire to do good even with everything he’s been through. there were so many times he could have chosen to turn his back on the world in retaliation for the way it treated him. but he didn’t!! and here he is now, finally free, and what he wants to do with the rest of his life now is simply to help others. anyway please excuse me for a moment, I need to go find some sort of basket or a big vase to put all of my fresh new Hawks Feels in, pardonne-moi

YEAH BOIIIIII

“FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS, MISTER JEANIST, WHERE DID YOU FIND YOUSELF THAT SWEETASS CAR.” hey, all I’m saying is if this boy’s wings really aren’t growing back, he’s gonna need to find himself a new means of transportation y’know?

oh my god you guys it’s a flashback to his mom buying him the Endeavor plushie when he was like two because, and I quote, ALL MIGHT WAS TOO EXPENSIVE

oh my god oh my god. my boy out here with a new lease on life finding hope in the darkest of times

wasn’t your throat supposed to be all fucked up lmao. Horikoshi was suddenly all “oh shit the VAs are gonna be pissed at me if I keep this up huh”

“that’s why Bubaigawara was such a great guy” motherfucker IT IS A TERRIBLE DAY FOR RAIN. FORECAST SAID NOTHING ABOUT THIS

:’)

yes ma’am. yes indeed. confirmed, I really will straight up fight some motherfuckers for this child. well not really, but YOU KEEP YOUR DISCOURSE OFF MY LAWN AND OUT OF MY BLOG YOU HEAR. THIS IS A HAWKS-FRIENDLY SPACE. WE RESPECT TAKAMI KEIGO IN THESE STREETS

and he’s saying (or is he thinking?? what a weirdly shaped speech bubble this is) that even if what Dabi said about the Todoroki household is true, “I’m not sure it’s the same now.” which happens to be ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. man this whole chapter really is all about saying “fuck the past” and moving forward and I am living for it

SON!!!!

“the first step is at my beginning” fklkjlk. what an iconic fucking line??

AND HIS WINGS!!!! THEY ACTUALLY ARE GROWING BACK AHHHHHHH. “PUT A RAINCHECK ON THAT CAR, JEANIST-SAN.” THE HAWKSMOBILE CAN WAIT, RIGHT NOW HE HAS TO GO INSERT HIMSELF BACK INTO THE TODODRAMA WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT

you guys. I came here ready for some BAKUDEKU HOSPITAL ANGST, and I got DIDDLY SHIT of that, and none of my other kids were even in this chapter, but!!! ASK ME IF I CARE LMAO omg. because bird son is hanging with his new best friend, and he’s out here Finding Himself and picking up the pieces and putting them back together stronger than ever because RESILIENCE HAS A NAME, AND IT’S SPELLED H-A-W-K-S, and you guys. profound, my love for this child. holy shit. hey google, play Silence by Marshmello

[sortasirius]

“Inherit the Earth” and the Fakeout

Absolutely genius.  Amazing, iconic, legendary, something only our showrunner Andrew Dabb can pull off.

"But Lilly, the episode was so bad!  It was just the brothers, they didn’t look for Cas and Eileen!”

YES.  THAT IS EXACTLY THE POINT.  THIS WAS A FAKE ENDING, THE END OF THE SEASON, NOT OF THE SERIES.

Let’s get into it.

An empty world.  No one left but Sam, Dean, and Jack.

So Dean ran, he somehow managed to pick himself up off the floor of the dungeon and meet up with Sam and Jack.  That jacket was this silent reminder.  Remember what I’ve been saying, Cas has occupied the negative space all season, this is no exception.

Dean can’t look either of them in the face, he’s doing that thing, where his eyes move everywhere BUT where he should look. 

“I couldn’t save anybody.”

Sam couldn’t save the world and Dean couldn’t save the one person that means the world to him.

“Where’s Cas?”

“Dean?”

I think it’s there, in that pause where Dean tries to push down the emotions, continue the fight, not think about the memories he left in the bunker, that Jack realizes what must have happened. Jack is the only one that knows about the deal, he has to know what Cas not being there must mean.

“He saved me.  Billie was coming after us.  Cas summoned the Empty.  It took her...and took him.  Cas is gone.”

This may shock you, but I am GLAD they didn’t talk about Cas, especially with what happens at the end of the episode.  Cas is allowed to just take up unsaid space.  It’s obvious he’s missing with the way they blocked things, obvious he’s missing here.  This whole “oh well they don’t care about Cas because they didn’t talk about him”?  Malarkey.

“Jack I’m sorry.”

Guilt.  Regret.  Pain.  Dean will carry this with him for the rest of his life.  Not only that he lost Cas, but that Sam lost Cas, that Jack lost Cas.

That SHOT, with the distance between Jack and Sam where Cas is SUPPOSED TO BE, and then a zoom out to...THE WORLD.

Okay, as usual, Bucklemming has the subtlety of a sledgehammer lmao.

Jack crying???  Praying to Cas????  Bruh?????

Also it’s just straight-up frightening for everything around my boy to die he is my baby son.

Also not to point out the incredibly obvious, but Dean starts drinking immediately, and continues drinking throughout the whole episode.  Grief arc 2.0 babey.

“We can what, Dean?  There’s no one left to save!  Everybody’s gone!”

“You can’t just give up.”

“What other choice do we have!”

Idk why, but for Sam, who’s the constant, the one who’s always had hope, through everything, through all these years, when he finally says this, when he finally loses his hope?  It hits the hardest.  Sam is the leader, so not only is he grieving the loss of Eileen, he is a general grieving the loss of his soldiers, his friends, the world that he feels the duty to save.

When they go to meet Chuck, I just can’t get that image of Dean, leaning against the car, handprint still on his jacket, staring at the ground out of my head.  It takes him a few seconds to catch up to Sam, like he’s pulled out of thoughts like deep dark water.  Remember friends, it doesn’t have to be loud to be powerful.

Chuck wearing BLACK?  FEAR.

“That’s right, the whole Cain and Abel thing.  Us dead, whatever.  I’ll kill Sam, Sam’ll kill me, we’ll kill each other.  Okay, you pick.  But first?  You gotta put everything back the way it was.  The people, the birds...Cas.  You gotta bring him back.”

Willing to kill his brother.  Willing to die.  Tears in his eyes, begging God to bring Cas back.

And Chuck?  Chuck doesn’t care about their surrender, he knows he’s already got them beaten.  He cares about their pain, he cares about them suffering, because to him?  That’s the entertainment.  He’s not entertained by their found family, by their happiness, by their joy.  He wants them to suffer, all of them.

“Eternal shame.  Suffering.  And loneliness.”

And he leaves them with just that.  No hope, no family, just the three of them, broken, alone.  Jack locked in his bedroom, Sam trying desperately to make life “normal” again.  And Dean.  Dean who drank so much he passed out on the floor.

He doesn’t feel terrific, he feels like shit, because not only is he dealing with the shame of an empty planet, he’s dealing with the guilt of being back in the place where the Empty took Cas.

This whole thing with the dog was just absolutely heartwrenching shit and if I didn’t hate Chuck before, him snapping Miracle right in front of an already fragile Dean would seal that deal.

I just want everyone to know that this is a Jake Abel stan account.

“Daddy’s boy” is a big insult for my boy Dean to use considering his own past with his trash abusive father but I’ll allow it.

I do think it’s interesting, ending of his arc aside, that Michael is willing to help them now.  What changed?  Sure, he ended up trying to help Chuck, running back to his father, but why get back in the game?  I wonder if it has anything to do with the loss of Adam.  It’s an interesting parallel, a man loses his angel while an angel loses his human.

Everything is so DARK in the Bunker now too, even the lighting is loud.

When I tell you I lost my shit when I saw Cas was calling Dean, when I heard Misha’s voice??  I knew it didn’t make any sense but I didn’t care, I would’ve been one step behind Dean as he sprinted towards the door.

Fuck you, Eugenie.

I mean it’s torture not only to Dean, who looks beyond fucking crushed when it’s damn Lucifer at the door, but for us too.  Who the FUCK wanted Lucifer back?  And to tease Cas???  Garbage.

I mean...fam.  Listen, we know who’s writing this episode, this whole Betty thing is just like blatantly unnecessary but again, Eugenie loves Lucifer, gotta distract her with a shiny toy lmao.

It was cool to see Michael and Lucifer onscreen together.  It was a cool dynamic that we rarely got to see.

The whole episode is just twist after twist.  Listen, it’s their last episode so I guess they needed to fit in a season worth of twists in one episode.

Bye Lucifer.  We know Eugenie can’t bring him back.  Blessings to all.

This scene with Adam is the FOURTH scene where Dean is drinking...big yikes to my guy’s liver.

Here’s the thing about Michael.  He’s a mirror for Dean in season 5.  Loyal to an absent father.  He has never changed, but Dean has.  Dean is able to acknowledge now, the trauma that his father put him through, he was able to move past the need for pleasing him at any cost.  Michael and Chuck?  Are John and Dean, if Dean had never been allowed to grow.  And Chuck proves, like John did, that he would always put his wants (in John’s case “the mission”) over his children.

Also not to beat a dead horse but Michael’s death was also peak Eugenie.

Sam getting to punch Chuck in the face?  Thank you, he deserves that.

Obviously I don’t love any scene of my boys getting brutally beaten.  But what I love, what I will always love about them, is what Chuck hates about them:  they won’t ever give up.  They know they won’t win against him, they don’t even land any hits, but that’s not what matters.  What matters is their controller doesn’t control them anymore, that they really are free.  No matter how hard they get hit, the get back up.  It is their choice to stand up to him, no matter the cost.

The moment where Sam and Dean are supporting each other, covered in blood, and they look God in the face, and they laugh.  That is why I will love them unconditionally for the rest of my life.  That is who they are, they will never cow to the villain, whether that’s Azazel or Alastair or Zachariah or Lucifer or Amara or Death or Metatron or Cain or God.  They will always choose to stand up.

“Why are you smiling?”

“Because.  You lose.”

Chills.  What a line.

And Chuck is left, small, human, no longer a villain, no longer anything.

Gotta be real, woulda been nice to, idk, not see all this essential plot in a flashback, but I know I can only ask so much of Bucklemming.

For Dean to walk away from killing Chuck, right after he’s called him “the ultimate killer” is quite simply the most beautifully heartwrenching thing I could ever ask for.  Because that’s who Dean was under Chuck, that’s who Chuck wanted him to be.

And he would have before:

But he’s heard some things since then, heard some things about how others see him.  Not as the killer, not as a monster, not as angry and broken or his daddy’s blunt instrument:

I’m not saying that Dean doesn’t kill Chuck for Cas.  He doesn’t kill Chuck because he doesn’t think he has to anymore, he doesn’t kill Chuck because he listened to Cas, he took Cas’ words to heart.  He made the choice not to be the killer.

“See that’s not who I am, that’s not who we are.”

And Chuck is angry, because he thought, after everything, even after losing, that he would still know Dean well enough to know that he would kill him.  But Chuck has never really known Dean, he has never understood where he’s really come from.  Cas understood, Sam and Jack understand, but Chuck never did, and writing off Dean as angry and broken is his biggest mistake, because that’s never been Dean.

“It’s not his power anymore.”

And it’s not just his physical power, it’s his power over the story, over the boys that’s the real power taken from him.

For Jack to be the one to bring everyone back, for him to be the hero of the story?  That’s poetic right there.  Now, I will say, I don’t think this story ends with him as God, because for him, the child, to take on this burden, it doesn’t make a ton of sense to me for his arc, but we shall see next week.  It felt pretty tied up, but there’s one major loose end: and that’s Jack seeing Cas again.

“Just you and me, going wherever the story takes us.  Just us.”

“Finally free.”

This doesn’t feel triumphant to me, it doesn’t feel like relief.  It feels like they’ve settled, like this is the best they’re going to get, so they might as well make the best of it, at least they have each other.

For Cas and Jack to be carved into the table?  I cry.

And for the montage, very similar to “Swan Song” to be set to “Runnin on Empty”?  Sorry but that’s just too sus to be ignored.

They packaged this episode as an ending, because for many, it might be.  The season’s story, the season about fighting Chuck is over.  So, you might be asking (or, well, screaming, judging by my replies lol), what’s left?  And that’s a good question, Chuck has been defeated, so what is left?  What’s left is what’s really mattered all season: the relationships that have been crafted over the years.  Dean and Sam’s unhappiness at the end of the episode, where “just you and me” sounded more of a grudging acceptance than anything else, is one of the clues that has to be looked at.  Why didn’t Sam find Eileen, why didn’t Jack bring back Cas?  Those two characters specifically are the ones we need to watch out for.  As I’ve said over and over again, peace, contentment, satisfaction, those don’t come from Sam and Dean on the open road together anymore.  They have a family, more of a family than they did when they started hunting together all those years ago, and that family is what holds them together.  They need each other, of course, but each other isn’t enough anymore.  Sam needs Eileen, Dean needs Cas.  That is where they will find their peace.

This episode, as many written by Bucklemming was sloppy, rushed, packed full of shit, and had little gems that we can talk about forever, but that was the end of the season, and next week?  Andrew Dabb brings us home, where Dean and Sam will finally be able to choose what they want for themselves, and that, my friends, is Eileen and Cas.