#I’m not sure if religious people accept jokes on that. sorry if it offends anyone

[padfoot-lupin77]

Teenager math is I’ll be less tired if I pull an all nighter than if I sleep at 3 and wake up at 7 (I’ve never pulled an all nighter. Not religious but yall pray for me)

[clairecrive]

"Jewish women" - Alfie Solomons x reader imagine

Hello everyone! I'm actually drawing in stuff to study but since I had this sitting for a while in my drafts I thought to give it to you while I try and work on the other imagines I've talked you about. I'm sorry if there are any typos but I haven't proofread it.

I just wanted to thank you for the support you've been giving me, it's actually mind-blowing and I'm very thankful for every smallest interaction you give me. From a like to a comment to an ask, they all warm my heart. So thank you, thank you, thank you.💞❤️

I'm sure I've bored you with this by now but remember that I'm always here for you. Not only for your requests but even if you just want to talk!

Well, I'm gonna leave now. Hope you have a great day and like this imagine. Can’t wait to hear your thoughts!

Tag list: @mollybegger-blog (let me know if you wanna be added)

Hearing Alfie shout wasn't a shock for anyone who had been to the bakery more than once. His strong voice filled the building and you were able to listen to what he was saying even if his office was far from the basement he was in.

"Jewish women? You do not go anywhere near them, because Jewish women for you are off the fucking menu." You hear him threatening and furrow your eyes in wonder.

You knew that Alfie was very protective of his people but why warn those men against going for Jewish women in particular though? Don't all women deserve the same kind of respect? Does this mean that he held them higher in his regards than other women? If that's so, then why was he wasting his time with you?

You didn't consider yourself as religious but you were a Catholic. Hebraism doesn't look well at mixed religious pairing, you knew that. Alfie never talked about it so you just figured that he didn't want that for himself and you had accepted it. Now though, in the light of what you just heard, you began to question your relationship with Alfie. It was still in the early stages so you didn't expect for things to become serious in the near future. Although, there was no point in denying that you wanted, hoped them to. Even if it took a couple of months.  Now you started to wonder if he wanted the same thing though.

What if he was fooling around with you because he knew that he couldn't get what he wanted from Jewish women? or that he respected them more than he did you?

The realisation hit you like a heavy brick to your face and suddenly breathing wasn't such an easy natural process, the air getting stuck in your throat. Feeling the walls of Alfie's office begin to close on you, you get up knowing that you should get the hell out of that place. You quickly stumble out of his office and hurry down the hallway too focused on steadying your breath to notice him before you. His strong hands reached out to hold your arms before you could crash into him.

"Woah, slow down pet. Where the 'ell are ya goin' in such a 'urry?" he says, amusement filled his voice until he saw the millions of emotions that swirled in your eyes. Wondering what could have happened in the safety of his office, he begins to open his mouth to ask you what was wrong, when your voice precedes him.

"I need to get out of here, please  excuse me." you weakly say trying to wiggle out of his hold.

"What are ya talkin' about? What's the matter pet eh?" he asks now concerned.

"As you don't already know." you can't help but mutter under your breath making his eyebrows go up in wonder.

"What shoul' I know?"

Annoyed with his apparent naivety you struggled with more force to get out of his grip. Noticing your discomfort he lets you go and you immediately bolt away from him and out of the bakery.

"Where the fuck are you goin' eh? Y/N!" you hear him call you from behind you and fearing that he was following you, you pick up your pace to put as much space as possible between you two. Storming out of the bakery you started to mindlessly walk away from it. You felt like had been walking for hours, exhausted with tearstained cheeks you sat on a bench to catch your breath.

"Would ya be so kind as to tell me what the fuck is goin' on Y/N?" his voice startles you when he plops beside you. You hadn't noticed him following you out of the building. He was out of breath and you knew about his bad hip so seeing him so dishevelled made you feel guilty.

"Alfie your leg. You shouldn't have followed me." you said trying to stop your voice from trembling.

"You joking, right? You storm out of my office, a crying mess and you expect me to just let you go?" he explains offended

"Why would you care? I'm not Jewish." you mutter huffy

"And what the hell does that have to do with anything?" he asks surprised

Gathering up all the courage you were able to find in your small body, you finally ask the question you were dreading to.

"Are you with me just to spend your time while you look around to find a nice Jewish woman you can marry?" you tried to keep all your emotions off your face.

Your question makes him frown and his bushy eyebrow shot up. Nodding in understanding he finally replies. "You heard what I said down there didn't you?"

"I think the whole London heard you." you scoff

"Well then love, there's something ya should know," he said and you braced yourself. "Camden Town is primely inhabited by Jewish families, innit? Since I got the bakery running I promised to take care of those families. I wanted those gypsies fuckers to know their place, right?" he tries to make you see his logic

"Yeah well I also live in Camden Town, don't I deserve the same amount of respect they do?"

"If you think that I haven't let them know that if they so much as look at you twice I'll shoot them in the fucking eyes, you don't really know me love." he replies scoffing at the insinuation

"Doesn't it bother you that I don't share your religious beliefs then? That we can't marry?" you shyly ask him with a blush blossoming on your cheeks

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there, won't we love? In the mean time, I don't give a fuck about anything that isn't you. Besides, no one can stop me from marrying you when the time is right." he sweetly admits holding your hand while removing the tears from your face. You couldn't help the smile that crept on your face at his sweet yet somehow smug words.

" Now gimme a kiss love. " he grumply said and you were more than happy to obliged, your heart finally at rest knowing that all your insecurities were unfounded.

[yikesharringrove]

the fic you wrote for my last prompt was amazing, ty 😭 can you do 50 + 56 this time please? and if you want to work in dyslexic!steve too that would be awesome! 🥰

You are speaking my fuckin’ language, dyslexic Steve is my ABSOLUTE jam. Honestly, whenever I write Steve, he’s dyslexic, although sometimes it’s not mentioned because it’s not important to Harry’s journey @ jk rowling

Thank you for your request! I’m really glad you liked the other one I wrote! You’re anonymous so I don’t know which one that is but I really enjoyed writing them all! Sorry for my manic energy rn.

Something a little different, it’s modern au! This is probably nothing like what you were thinking so I’m sorry, but I kinda love it ngl.

50: Secret Admirer

56: “I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.”

Prompt list!

Billy spent three and a half hours reading through every single tweet on the account.

There were so fucking many of them. The earliest one was timestamped from four days ago, so obviously, this person had no life outside of tweeting.

Tweeting about Billy.

He had a few personal favorites. He had retweeted them to his account, figuring may as well play it up, make a joke outta everything.

@ImHardForHargrove: sorry WHOMST gave you the RIGHT to have eyes that fuckin blue im YELLING

@ImHardForHargrove: watchin u play basketball is a religious experience y are ur arms so BIG hhnnnng

And Billy’s absolute favorite, which he pinned right at the top of his account

@ImHardForHargrove: ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass

Billy knew he looked good. Knew he turned heads wherever he went. He did that on purpose. But realizing someone at Hawkins High had set up a thirst account for him, well.

“I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.” Billy had explained the situation to Robin, letting her go through the account on his phone. “Like, It’s kinda nice, whoever this guy is, he’s got a crush. But also like, It’s kinda creepy. Plus he’s objectifying me,” Billy was talking through his sandwich.

Robin made a face of disgust. “Why do you keep saying ‘he’? All of the girls in this fucking school are practically drooling for you.”

“Hard for Hargrove, Robin. I know you’re like, revolted by the peen and whatever but that does not excuse a lack of basic sexual education and anatomy.” She gagged at him. Honest to God, gagged. He thought she was gonna spew all over the table.

“If I ever hear you call it a peen ever again, it’s on sight Hargrove.” Heather plopped herself down next to Robin, kissing her cheek before zeroing in on Billy’s phone, still in Robin’s hand.

“Have you guys worked out who it could be yet?” Her eyes were wide at Billy.

“Billy says he thinks its a guy even though people with penises aren’t necessarily men.” Robin gave him a pointed look.

“Yeah Robin, I know that, but, I don’t know I just think it’s a guy penis-having person.”

Heather narrowed her eyes at him. “Do you actually think that, or are you just hoping in that goblin little brain of yours that this account is Steve Harrington’s.” Billy could feel the heat spread down his neck.

“Billy, I know Steve is like, the only out guy in this whole fucking town, but you can do way better than him.  PLUS, I feel like it makes more sense if the person running this account wasn’t out and had to channel their gay yearning through social media.”

“First of all Robin, you have this vendetta against Steve that I don’t get. He’s a nice guy. He’s kinda dopey, kinda dumb, but he’s like, sweet and shit. Second, I’m not out, so it still could be him because he doesn’t think I would, like, accept his advances or whatever. Hence, gay internet yearning.” The chime of the bell sent them packing their lunches, Billy’s phone vibrated in Robin’s hand. She rolled her eyes when he realized he turned on notifications for the account

“Get a fucking life you loser.” She slapped the phone into his hand. He opened the new tweet with embarrassing zeal.

@ImHardForHargrove: i saw u talking with ur mouth full and it was yucky but i was still  🥺🥺

His head shot up, trying to see who would have been facing him during lunch, but the cafeteria was almost empty.

The rest of the week Billy took deliberate care of every interaction he had with anyone. Observing who was in his surroundings, and making note of everything he did and said. He took extra caution around Steve, wanting to spot any minute detail that could give away who ran the account.

The account started blowing up. People were retweeting like fucking crazy. Everywhere he went, he was being asked if he’s seen it, like he doesn’t regularly retweet the good ones. The search for the owner of the account had spread throughout the whole school. A few girls even tried to claim the account was theirs, but every time that happened the account would tweet out something to discredit whoever made the claim, proving them a liar.

Billy was starting to lose hope it was Harrington. The tweets were coming at all different times, posted whenever the person thought about it, so Billy was losing track of who was near when he said or did something. And the tweets were always about stupid stuff Billy didn’t register doing. On Wednesday night the account said

@ImHardForHargrove: hi when you chew on your pencil and it makes me 🥴 that is all thx for comin to my ted talk

Friday afternoon gave them all:

@ImHardForHargrove: walked past ur classroom and u were asleep ive never wanted to CUDDLE someone so bad in my LIFE

But Saturday, Saturday renewed all hope for Harrington Billy could possibly have. Lauren Kranz was throwing a party. It was the first real rager in a while, so everyone was there, and everyone was sloshed. Everyone but Billy, who’d agreed to be designated driver for Robin and Heather like some kinda idiot.

He was brooding on the back porch when his phone went off. The account was active, and the owner was drunk.

@ImHardForHargrove: I can seeeeee u oyt the windw I wan u 2 FUC ME. RAW DOG.

@ImHardForHargrove: srry ur so beauitiful nd THICCC

@ImHardForHargrove: I wana shoot my shot but idk if u lik bois

@ImHardForHargrove: (ys i am boi)

@ImHardForHargrove: nd i dont wana get my heart broken agin 😥

He was right about it being a guy. He was right about him being too nervous to approach him outright. His brain was screaming stevestevesteve at him. Hawkins was shook when Steve came out as bisexual in his sophomore year. He was the golden boy, a real jock. He was NOT the kind of guy people would assume queer in a small midwestern town.

He was kind of a douchebag, dumping one girl for another, sleeping with her and never calling again. But then he settled down with this guy from the University of Indianapolis for a few months until Steve caught him cheating. Apparently, he had slashed the guy’s tires. Billy was impressed.

The next year came Wheeler, who only stuck around long enough to make sure Steve was nice and whipped before she fucked off on him too. So Steve retreated. Spent more time with middle schoolers than anybody else. Didn’t want to put his heart on the line anymore until he knew it wouldn’t be stomped on.  Billy could respect that.

Billy couldn’t risk being out in a town like Hawkins. Word always had a way of getting right back to his dad, and in a tiny hick town with nothing better to do than gossip, it was usually only a matter of hours before Neil heard something he didn’t like.

@ImHardForHargrove: srry 4 bad typing rn. drunk nd dysl exic ren’t a happy combo

Billy’s heart stopped. The drunken idiot was giving himself away. Maybe if he sat here staring at the account long enough, enough would be revealed he could figure it all out like a shitty drunk episode of Blue’s Clues.

He was so focused on Twitter, refreshing his feed, again and again, he didn’t notice a very drunk, and very unsteady Steve Harrington stumbling out the back door towards him. Until he crashed into his back.

“Sorry, Bill!” Billy had Steve by the shoulders trying to keep him upright. “Heyy I have a question for you.” Steve grabbed one of Billy’s hands and veered over to the table and chairs arranged neatly on the small patio. When they were sitting, Steve kept ahold of Billy’s hand.

“Hi.” Steve was smiling like a little kid. Billy was in fucking love.

“hey, Harrington. What was your question.”

“So-oo. I have this friend. A very good friend. Super close. And he has a big ol’ crush on you but he’s too scared to ask you himself because he keeps getting his heart fuckin’ broken so he wanted me to ask. Are you into guys?” It’s a miracle Billy understood any of that, every word blending into the next.

“That depends.” Billy leaned in, running his tongue along his bottom lip. He saw Steve take in a sharp breath, following the movement with his glazed eyes. He knew Steve was talking about himself, he just wanted to rile him up a little. Make him blush first. “This friend you’re talkin’ about. He’s our age? Like you’re not trying to set me up with one a’ your kids, right?” Steve physically recoiled.

“NO, you fuckin’ pedo. I’m NOT trying to set you up with a fuckin’, fuckin’ middle schooler. My friend is, uh eighteen. He’s a senior.” Unless Tommy fuckin’ H. suddenly had a penchant for dick Billy didn’t know about, Steve was 100% talking about himself.

“Well, if he’s as pretty as you are, I’d love to go out with him sometime.” Billy winked. Steve went red.

“Okay, but like, does that mean you’d go out with me? Like I’m as pretty as me, right? Because I was talking about me. Not ‘a friend’ I was talking about me. Steve.”

“Yeah, I kinda figured that out. You know, I was hoping it was you running that Twitter. Any time you’d tweet out something you wanted to do with me, I was always picturin’ doing it with you, Baby.” Billy was practically purring. “Especially all the shit you wanted me to do TO you.” Steve gave something between a whine and a groan and flopped himself onto Billy’s lap, straddling him with very little grace.

“Thank God. ‘Cause you’re so fucking hot I’d let you do anything to me. Anything, Bill.” Billy smiled softly at him.

“Then let me take you home. Let me put you in bed to sleep off all this. And let me take you to breakfast tomorrow. Something nice and greasy for your hangover tummy.” Steve was a puddle in Billy’s lap. “C’mon, Drunky, git your ass up.” Steve just giggled and muttered Drunky Skunky under his breath.

Billy sighed and stood up, hefting Steve up with him.

“Bil-ly,” Steve whined. “You’re so strong, this is so fucking hot. I gotta tweet about this.”

“Tweet it later, Sweet Thing.”

It took Billy for-fucking-ever to find Robin and Heather (they were making out in the basement with the stoners). But Steve chirped and cooed into his ear, so happy Billy could lift him and hold him like it was nothing.

The last tweet from the account was timestamped from Sunday evening.

@ImHardForHargrove: Hi this is Steve. Billy’s my boyfriend now 🥰#ThirstWorks

[killinglonliness]

I’M COMING OUT! (Kind of)

Hi there! I know many of you are not interested in my personal life as I don’t know you and you don’t know me, but today I wanted to write something extremly personal that I really needed to get out of my chest. 

YES, I’m coming out of the closet.

BUT, not in the way many do.

ALSO, I’m not sure it counts as “coming out“.

I created this tumblr account to write my thoughts on sexuality (First MY sexuality, and second what I think about some aspects of sexuality itself),  without letting my family or friends know about it.

I know many of you will say that I should do it, but here is where I may be a bit controversial about the “coming out” part. Prepare for it: I DON’T LIKE LABELS.

I fully support the LGBT+ community and I don’t think anyone is wrong. It just doesn’t work for me. And how I came to that conclusion?

All my life I’ve been living whitout caring much about my sexuality in terms of labels. My family is religious, firmly catholic, and I AM too. But they never pressured me to be “girly” or to “have a boyfriend”. My next door neighbours were a GAY COUPLE, AND I KNEW IT. My mom never said anything about them, neither did my dad. 

They taught me to respect the others, and even though they didn’t fully agree with gay couples, they never hated on them. So, as a little kid I was pretty much ok with my neighbours being gay. ALSO they were extremly handsome (haha sorry). One was a pilot and the other a doctor.

Now that I think about them, they were the perfect example of an ‘accepted by their families’ couple. As they had family parties every now and then, and I never saw or heard a commotion of some sorts. So, yeah, I knew the concept of being gay, but no one told me with the specific word that my neighbours were gay, nor did they told me it was wrong.

So, cool. Romantic love is not only for heterosexual couples. Love has no limits. I understood it early in life and I never questioned it, not even when I fulfilled my duties as a catholic. I knew not all of it could be right or wrong, true or false. 

ABOUT ME. Well, as I said, I was born in a catholic family, with ancestries that defied the same religion they believed in, not because religion itself, but because of the institution it was ruled by. Also, I have a direct gay ancestry and it was never hidden to me, and he was loved by his family until he died, even if it was somehow taboo.

When I was a kid I felt attracted mostly to males, in high school it was the first time I felt attracted to females. And nowadays I have no romantic interests hahaha even if I do feel quite lonely.

AND getting to the point I was trying to get at. I don’t entirely identify as Gay, Bisexual or Demisexual, wich are the ones I relate the most to. I DON’T LIKE describing myself as any of those as I don’t like describing myself as heterosexual.

I was never questioned, I expressed my support for the LGBT+ community even against my parents, but I also didn’t talk about it much. Maybe because I’m socially awkard, an introvert and mostly quiet. I won’t feel offended if someone asks me “Are you part of the LGBT+ community?” but also I would likely answer NO.

I don’t feel the need to be part of it to be myself. I’m comfy with who I am, and if in the near future I want to declare to someone, anyone, I will.

BUT, early this week I felt concious. 

The last year I joked with my auntie when I saw a pair of trainers with a rainbow pattern and told her “Hey look! To support the LGBT+ community!”. And my aunt laughed, I laughed, we weren’t going to buy it, and I kinda liked them, but hey! I don’t have the money! 

The past month my auntie bought a T-shirt with a rainbow pattern, and she gave it to me because it didn’t fit her and was a bit too tight. I liked it but never got to use it... ‘till monday. And I had to take my dog for a walk. Out there with the rainbow fully exposed. I didn’t feel weird at all... untill I found a friend (ok, I kinda like him) and his mother walking with their dogs... and they eyed me “funny” (mostly his mother), but greeted me as usual. We’ve known each other since I was 6 and him 4, but never been that close.

Maybe I’m overthinking but after that I became a bit concious and noticed other people looking at me like that. I’m not against the pride flag, but am I going to be labeled as ‘gay’ just from a rainbow?. I don’t know... I didn’t like the look. but I like the shirt. Man I feel conflicted. I don’t like to be judged ‘cause I don’t judge.

I know we’re not there, yet. But for me it’s as obvious as laws of nature. Why others can’t understand and accept what is different. And, I don’t know maybe I’m the wrong one and I shouldn’t be reacting when labeld as gay because partialy I am, but I don’t feel the necesity to say so, because it will only matter when I’m with my significant other.

Yeah, I’m Bi, I’m Demi, who knows? I’m a woman, I’m 26 now (If you’re reading this on July 2nd, 2020), and the only insecurities I have are from being obese.

:D PLEASE, feel free to comment, and help me get through this blog writing my thoughts on sexuality. Say if you agree or not, ask me anything! I’d love to talk to someone about this, and see if anyone feels like me. If you made it this far, thank you for reading!! 

[mr-hoebot]

Watch the Stars - Chapter One

Pairing || Ben Hardy!Roger Taylor x OC

Note || Uhm. So. I’m really fuckin apprehensive about posting this. I have never dabbled in RPF before because it’s so...controversial and I totally get why. In this case, I’m really not writing about the real people involved here, but the biography that was based off of them? Which is still about real people. I was basically inspired by the movie if that makes sense, and I’m writing entirely in the context of the movie. This is 100% fictionalized and not meant to offend anyone. Julie-Anna is just a character who popped into my head. 

So anyways. I don’t encourage involving any actual real-life people in fiction written online, and all that. I just figured that the BohRap fandom seemed like a pretty nice place. So I thought I’d give it a shot and see if you guys will like, accept me into your fold or whatever. 

Summary || After playing a show on Halloween night in New Orleans, Queen’s drummer takes off on his own and is solicited by a very unusual woman who is definitely going to drive him crazy. 

Content || Past parental abuse, drinking, drugs, sexual assault (not romanticized in any form), smut. 

It’s late. Julie-Anna Ackerton doesn’t know what time it is, she just knows that it’s late because the sky has been dark for a while now. She checks it every now and then for the aliens. There’s nothing.

Maybe next time.

In a tiny gas station restroom a few hours earlier, she sprayed on perfume that smells like artificial candy apples, tried and failed not to smudge her eyeliner, and pulled a ratty faux fur coat on over her dress. Now she’s standing out on the middle of the road, heels in hand. They started hurting her feet after some time and she’s not getting any clients tonight anyways.

New Orleans is even buzzier than usual tonight, and it’s not just because of Halloween. There was a concert on at the Municipal Theater and she can feel the ground shaking, hear the cheers of the crowd, feel the wild excitement of people pouring out of the venue, chattering to each other about how amazing it had been.

Julie realizes just then that she can add it to the list of things she’s never done. Never been to a concert. The list just keeps growing longer.

1. Never been really kissed for real for real for real.

2. Never had a beautiful dress like a princess, just like in the movies.

3. I can’t give you the whole list. It would go on forever!

Well, Julie might not have a beautiful princess dress, but she has a silky negligee coming apart at the seams. She shifts her coat off her shoulders and starts walking, pausing by a car with a few men inside.

“Any of you gentlemen looking for a good time?” It doesn’t sound at all like her, but it’s what she’s supposed to say. Still, it never comes out as sultry as it’s meant to. She always sounds too eager and soft.

“I’m spoken for, honey.” The man in the front puffs on a cigarette. “Get lost.”

Concerts are usually a good night for business, but this one is proving to be a bust.

“Are you looking for a good time?”

“Would you like some company tonight?”

“I’m feeling lonely. Could I hitch a ride?”

None of it matters. All the chatter in the world hasn’t gotten her anyone, and Julie is getting desperate. Slowly, she’s drifted away from the bright lights of the main streets and fallen into the shadows behind Halloween costumes and concert memorabilia.

Julie steps out of an alley and keeps walking, keeping her eyes out for any parked cars that might contain possible clients. She scans the area and sees several people drive by, a few drunken stragglers stumbling home with their arms around each other, a woman shouting at her boyfriend.

And a car parked right up on the curb.

Julie fluffs up her hair and tries to saunter forward, imagining herself looking very beautiful and irresistible. Isn’t that what she needs?

The car window is rolled up, so she taps on it a few times to get the driver’s attention. When it rolls down to reveal a blonde man with red eyes, smoking a cigarette, she feels her heart skip a few beats.

Wow wow wow! This isn’t for the list of things I’ve never done. But wow!

“Can I help you?” the man asks. He looks exhausted. Bad news.

“Um.” Julie opens her mouth, then shuts it, suddenly finding herself forgetting her lines. “Oh! Yes. I remember. Are you looking for some company tonight?”

He rolls his eyes. “I don’t need to pay for company.”

“Oh,” she replies dejectedly, “Oh. Yeah. I guess not.”

Before she can say anything else, the man is rolling the window up. The car still doesn’t move though, and just as she starts to walk away, she’s hit with the realization that she needs a ride back home. She hitched one into town with a trucker driving in for the night, but he’s long gone now.

Julie spins around on her heel and stumbles back over to the car to tap on the window again. When the man rolls the window down, he looks irritated. “What?”

“Let’s trade.”

“Trade what?”

“Could you take me home? Please? I’ll make it worth your while. Do you know what worth your while means? I’ve learned it’s very persuasive.”

He stares at her in confusion, “Are you serious? I’m not having sex with you to give you a ride home.”

Julie swallows the lump in her throat that’s started to form. Tonight hasn’t brought her anything but bad luck and she’s going to need to pay rent soon. “Please? Oh, it won’t take long. I would walk but I get lost a lot, especially in the dark. Once I got lost and walked into a small pond. I stood there very confused because I didn’t know why my feet and legs were wet. And then I said, ‘Oh Julie-Anna Ackerton, you walked into a pond! That’s why your feet and legs are wet!’ Then I looked for frogs, but I didn’t find any. But I know my address. It’s-“

“Okay, okay!” The man puts his hand up. “Get in. I guess I need to drive somewhere anyway.”

She claps her hands excitedly. “Thank you! Thank you so much! You’re very nice! Very, very, very nice. Very, very-“

“Please just get in.” He actually looks like he might smile. “Julie-Anna Ackerton, huh?”

“That’s right,” Julie says cheerfully, opening the door to the other side and getting in. The car smells like cigarette smoke, so she rolls the window down. “Do you like my name?”

“Sure I do. It’s a nice name.” He starts to drive but extends one hand to shake hers. “I’m Roger.” “It’s real nice to meet you,” Julie shakes his hand excitedly and slips her coat off of her shoulders. “Why’re you just sitting in your car?”

He shrugs. “It’s not mine. I rented it. I needed to drive, clear my head. It was kind of a wild night.”

“Did you go to the concert? I saw lots of people going. I’ve never been to one before, but I think it would probably be magic and beautiful. I really like music. Did you have fun?”

Roger looks over at her, surprised. “Well, yeah. I mean, kind of.”

“You kind of had fun?”

“No, I mean-I kind of went to the concert. I mean, I played it. I’m the drummer for the band.”

Julie gasped, her inner voice telling her to calm down, even thought it was just so, so hard. “How neat! I wish I could be a drummer. Or a singer. Or a movie star. Or a goddess. I just want to be a beautiful beauty queen. Do you think I could be a beauty queen?”

“Oh yeah. Definitely. Why aren’t you one?”

Julie sighs sadly. “I don’t have a beautiful dress or a special talent, and you need those, I guess. But if I close my eyes really tight and try to dream, I can imagine that I’m Miss America, y’ know? And it’s so beautiful. I look like a superstar.” She emphasizes the last word with all the reverence and adoration of someone talking about a religious icon.

“I’m gonna be a superstar one day,” she tells him.

Roger laughs and turns a corner, “I don’t doubt it.”

“Are you going to be a star too?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. I feel like I already am, but I guess that could be me getting ahead of myself. Fifteen minutes of fame and all that. I’m just trying to enjoy it while it lasts.” He falters a bit, looking unsure.

“Aren’t you?” Julie asks.

“Aren’t I what?”

“Enjoying it.”

“Oh. Well, sure. I am. I just…I don’t know. I was kind of stressed out tonight. I don’t think I played as well as I could have. I got in a fight with our guitarist. Things were loud and we were drinking…” he shuts his eyes for a moment before focusing again on the road and sighing, “I guess I just needed some time to myself. So. Rented a car and here I am with you. Which was not part of my plan by the way.”

“Sorry,” Julie says cheerfully, “But maybe I can make you feel better. I can tell you a joke.”

“You don’t have to-“

“What’s red and moves up and down?” Without waiting for an answer, she hurriedly says, “A tomato in an elevator.”

Roger snorts, “You’ve got to be joking.”

“I am. It was a joke.”

“No, I mean-nevermind. That was really funny, Julie-Anna.” It comes out with obvious sarcasm.

“Oh, you can just call me Julie,” she says, “Everyone does except for Dad, and he doesn’t really like me that much.”

“I’m sorry. Speaking of, where did you say you lived again?”

Julie-Anna lists out the address, the same old place on the edge of town that she’s been for ages. The same place she always will be, until she’s a famous beauty queen.

[malliebuu]

Mallie’s Reylo Fanfic Rec List:

This is in no particular order and not limited to! There are so many talented writers out there! These are stories that have really stuck with me, so I am sharing them with you all! I will add as I go.

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The Inheritance of the Resistance by @waterlilyrose

Rating: Explicit

Summary: The discovery of a new unknown Duchess of the House of Kenobi brings new life to the Rebellion Court. Having lost their old Queen Leia, Rey and Han are forced into a deeply unconventional but quietly happy marriage. Having never had a family of her own, Rey sees Han as the father figure she always longed for.

So when the disgraced Prince returns to court to make amends with his aging King, how will he take to the girl who is now effectively his stepmother?

Medieval/Tudor Reylo.

Review: This has Tudor vibes - it is unreal. I love history, so naturally historically AUs are right up my ally. I was quite impressed by the setup and dynamic. The author uses Star Wars terms in place for the historical ones. This doesn’t follow the Tudor chain of events, but veers in it’s own original direction. Ben and Rey for this interesting relationship and it is quite troubled because Rey is actually married to Ben’s father ::gasp::. Love this fiction. So beautifully heartbreaking! (complete) 

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There Shall I Be By philcollins

Rating: Not Rated (Mature if anything)

Summary: AU in which Rey, our lonely scavenger from The Force Awakens, meets Kylo Ren under very different circumstances - he's a shepherd on Jakku. Rey inherits an estate on the moon Ceathea and Kylo follows her there, works for her there, and soon encounters his hated old foe, Uncle Luke Skywalker. Will Rey ever accept Kylo's love? Will crusty old Luke Skywalker come between Rey and her true love? More familiar faces will make an appearance in this Force-free story of love, longing, angst, and anger.

Review: This story was so heartbreaking, but so good. A mix of pining, angst, drama and uncertainty. This story I read nonstop and was quite heart broken, but these two stubborn people just need a little extra time in order to figure out they were meant for one another. This story had me sighing and talking aloud with frustration! So well-written! (Complete)

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The End of Father Kylo By Sweet_Solitude

Rating: Explicit

Summary: After a filthy youth and almost suffering a great loss, Kylo turns to priesthood and leads a virtuous life. That is until he meets a girl who turns his world upside down and reminds him that he has a functioning body below his waist.

Review: Again, this one was found during my priest Kylo fazes. Don’t judge me! This has everything you would think when you think of the church and priests, though there is a little bit of something else. Yes, I am going to hell. I know this. Smut, smut! Love this kinky one-shot. If you aren’t offended by this, give it a read. ::fans face:: (one-shot)

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Fault Lines By Devil Betty

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Rey has always dreamed of a family. She starts to believe she could have it when she moves in with her new foster mother, Leia Organa. Then Leia’s son, Ben, moves back home and threatens to ruin the life Rey is trying to build. Nothing will prepare either of them for the truth. Some family secrets should stay hidden.

Review: This story is a “page-turner”. It has a simple setting, but so much happens and the dialogue between both Kylo and Rey are so intriguing. The chemistry is unmistakable and the lemons are to die for. Unfortunately, this is one minor thing that has a draw back, and both character experience a major revelation that hurts them both. Please read warnings before reading!!

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Spit and Sweat by bunnystealsyourcarrots

Rating: Explicit

Summary: In 1975, Finalizer played a gig at CBGB. The punk band gave their best, the crowd went wild, but a young girl named Rey wanted more.

God Save Them All.

Review: AH! This AU I really couldn’t get enough of because it involves our lovely Kylo and Rey, but is also peppered with sex, drugs and rock-n-roll! I mean...no on the drugs, but in all seriousness, I LOVE Rock-n-roll! So, naturally I honed in on this like no one’s tomorrow! The chemistry between Kylo and Rey is off the damn charts! Ugh, the sexual tension! I absolutely love how this starts as a childhood crush and as she gets older Kylo sees her and is completely blown away! (Uncomplete)

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Love and Comfort, Sex and Wondering If This Could Be Our Turn By AquaWolfGirl

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Anonymous Prompt: Ben and Rey are in college and best friends, and very much in love, they just don't realize it. Rey is tired of people making jokes about her being a virgin, so she asks Ben to help her out.

Review: Virgin Rey has a little delima. Ben is there to help guide her. This is actually a very sweet and sexy story! Give it a read! The author is a fantastic writer! (One-Shot)

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nolite te bastardes carborundorum By SaintHeretical

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Born on the fringes of a dystopian dictatorship, Rey has lived most of her life in the shadows until desperation drives her into the hands of the government. Her unblemished womb is her only salvation, which leads to her being placed as a Handmaid in the household of Commander Kylo Ren and his infertile wife.

Her task? Produce a healthy child for the Commander, or be banished to a life of hardship and almost certain death. A Reylo Handmaid’s Tale AU

Review: I loved The Handmaid's Tale, so naturally when I visited this story, I was drawn to that aspect. There is non-con in this, so please beware when reading. If you do not know the Hulu original series, refer to their site for a detailed description. The author, in response to this TV show, stays true, but brings originality and this is really a wonderfully written piece. The author is extremely talented! (Unfinished)

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Innocents Lost By Pontmercy44

Rating: Explicit

Summary: “That’ll scar.” Han stood behind him, nervously. He’d always been nervous around him, first, because he was a baby, and Han didn’t understand babies, and then, because he had the Force, and Han didn’t understand the Force. “Girls like scars.”

“It’s not like it matters.” Ben looked out at the thousands of spires. “I’m going to be a Jedi.”

Han grunted in sympathy, and then sat next to him, swinging his legs off the side of the tower. The urge to feel alive, to take risks and taste danger – that was what he’d inherited from his father. “Heard you got off the hook.”

“Not exactly. Community service.”

“Better than a detention block.” Han leaned back on his hands.

Ben scoffed. “It’s asinine.”

His father shifted, looking up at the stars, through the hazy, translucent atmosphere of Hosnian Prime. “What do they have you doing? Picking up orbit pollution, or something?”

“Worse.” Ben snorted. “Teaching orphans to read and write Basic. On Jakku.”

Han winced. “Only slightly better than a detention block.”

Review: Love this story! I flew through it. Very well-written! Ben has to do community service as punishment and meets little Rey on Jakku. This forbidden relationship is beautiful and bittersweet at the same time. I love this first love adaptation! The author went above and beyond with these two! (complete)

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Daddy Dearest By AquaWolfGirl

Rating: Explicit

Summary: When single father Ben Solo moves into his new apartment in Bespin with 5-month old daughter Amy in tow, he hopes to hell and back that this life will be better than the one they left behind in upstate New York. It's not long before his life becomes a cycle of work, Amy, work, Amy. One night, while trying to fish his keys from his pocket without waking his infant daughter, Rey, his next door neighbor, offers a helping hand.

Review: Daddy Ben! He is a great dad who falls for the babysitter. Interesting read; well written! You feel so sorry for Ben, but also Rey is a God send! Sweet interactions! Give it a read if you want some light hearted, fluffy interactions. Not much for fluff, but this was really a nice read! :3

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Stigmata By SaintHeretical

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Fifteen years after tragedy tore them apart, a priest and his sister band together to protect a homeless girl who appears to have been touched by God. Too bad his excommunicated nephew seems to have other plans for her.

A Reylo slow burn Modern/Religious AU.

Review: After the priest hype came out, I searched merely to humor myself. I found a few fictions that really had an interesting plot. This is one of them. Focused on Christianity and different groups within. Kylo and Leia are curious about this young girl who turns out to be homeless and has a curious development. She has formed the stigmata. This really is different than anything I have experienced. I usually don’t go for stuff like this, but there is enough angst and romance to fill my needs. LOVE it!

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World In My Eyes By Sasstasticmad

Rated: Explicit

Summary: "The bond should be dead," Rey says through gritted teeth. "Just like you.”

"The bond is only this strong because of you," Kylo Ren tells her. "You're the one who touched me. You took my hand and let me hold yours. This is your fault, not mine. (A post-TLJ force bond fic)

Review: This is after TLJ. I was obsessed for a while, which I am sure comes to no shock to anyone! Everyone was wrapped up in the force bond, which sasstasticmad delivers VERY well! There is so much continued tension between Rey and Kylo. It is quite interesting to see these two continue their interaction from opposite groups. The Resistance Vs First Order. (incomplete)

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Wolves By @albastargazer

Rated: Explicit

Summary: Rey Kenobi is a human beta until one fatal night and everything changes. With the existence of werewolves turning her world upside down, she is left with only her boss, Ben Solo, to help. Little did she know he is an Alpha wolf and the next leader of his pack, intent on claiming his rare omega.

Review: A/O/B dynamic. This story really is amazing. I have always had a soft spot for werewolves and I haven’t really had the pleasure of finding one that really stuck yet, of course, that was until I stumbled upon this little number. The dynamic between Ben and Rey is quite interesting. A horrible event leads Rey down an interesting path. Ben takes charge and attempts to help Rey. Interesting revelations emerge, however. (incomplete)

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Hatchling By g_girl143 @gwendy85

Rated: Teen

Summary: Rey's leads a predictable life as a general labourer at Niima Junkyard until an unexpected visit from the daughter she doesn't even know exists turns her world into a tailspin.

Review: This is simply the sweetest story. I binged it in one sitting. So sad that it doesn’t update as frequently, but when I do get an e-mail I am jumping for joy! This author really is talented. Love the way this dynamic is set up. There are so many intriguing questions-- you are left wanting more. So bitter sweet it isn’t complete! It really is something I haven’t seen done before. Really hope that it is completed someday! So much potential! I cannot wait to see what becomes of this new found family knit that develops on a whim, no thanks for Rey’s surprise daughter! ;)

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Kismet by @ladylionhart

Rated: Mature

Summary: Sometimes, what seems like a simple mistake is truly the first step of a fateful journey.

- Or the one where a single text message sent to the wrong number completely changes the lives of two people and those around them.

Review: Easily one of my all time favs! This is such an amazingly written, intriguing AU. It really begins like none other via text. Both parties, shockingly, continue their witty bouts of conversation until they both begin to develop feelings for one another without actually seeing one another. When they finally begin to interact on a level far from platonic, it heats up fast and you are left needing more! LOVE!

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Summer Heat By @isharan

Rating: Explicit

Summary: A lonely young woman arrives at the cottage she inherited from her grandfather on a remote lake in northern Ontario, to find her neighbor is a rare Alpha, a relic of the old days when humans were ruled by their designation. Across a long hot summer, they connect over their shared history, and she finds that the past may not be as far away as she assumed.

Review: ::Bats lashes:: What can I say about this one? Well, I am slowly dying because man is this a slow burn! This is an A/O/B dynamic, but it is so well written that it isn’t just a heat and commence screwing each other’s brains out. No, this really has amazing storyline that has you asking questions or attempting to figure out the author’s train of thought. Gosh, there are so many good things to say about this fic! Ben is absolutely a dream in this fiction too. I cannot even begin to describe because I just wouldn’t do it justice. This fiction killed me in a good way! (Incomplete)

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Serotonin and Dopamine By Pontmercy44

Rating: Explicit

Summary: He could lie and say it was because he was gentleman, but that wasn’t quite true. “I – well, I want to take advantage of you. But I know better.”

Rey looked at him for a long moment, and Ben thought she might slap him. She didn’t. She started to laugh, shaking her head as if she couldn’t quite believe it. Finally, she said, smiling, “Goodnight, Ben.”

Ben turned and walked slowly back to his car. He heard her door creak open, but he didn’t hear it slam shut. It felt as if he was walking away from his chance, from his chance to have something good and uncomplicated and nice.

Ben turned around, and went back to the door. Rey waited for him, biting her lip. He took off his stocking cap and held it in his hands in front of himself. His ears were cold without his hat, but he was in the posture of remorse and penance. "I'm sorry. I'm an ass. Can I kiss you again?"

Review: This fiction was different and reeled me in because Ben was different. In this fiction he has mental disorder that makes it difficult to form relationships. Though, Rey takes to him and Ben to her in the sweetest of ways! I really liked the development in this story. The author delivers fluffy feels too. I am not usually one that enjoys a ton of fluff, but they did right by it! (Complete)

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An empire to be won By Bitterbones @dvrksister

Rating: Explicit

Summary: The grin of satisfaction that split Rey’s face was utterly demented. “In three days time I will be wed to her son.” Rose blanched at the word son, apparently having been unaware of the familial relationship between her beloved general and the scourge of the galaxy.

Rey chuckled and continued, “It will be televised across the galaxy, and I’m certain that she will be watching; supportive mother that she is. Tell her to look on her son’s face, and see that he is gone. Tell her that the mark she sees there is my own, that it is an engagement gift from myself. And tell her that where she failed to save Ben Solo, I will raise Kylo Ren.”

[In which Kylo and Rey are betrothed as children and separated for their respective darkside trainings. Their reintroduction as adults is explosive, to say the least.]

Review: Cold Showers. I swear, these two, from the beginning, have so much sexual chemistry I had to fan myself when reading. Holy shit, this was tense. I LOVE her Kylo. This is an arranged marriage fiction, but even so there is so much going on in the world she so wonderfully weaved as well as the character interactions. You will be flying through each chapter begging for more! (Incomplete)

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Eunoia By MalevolantReverie @malevolent-reverie @meth-lab-shenanigans

Rate: Explicit

Summary: Rey Kenobi, an underachieving college student becomes tangled in a twisted web with her astronomy professor, Kylo Ren, who is hiding a dark secret. (Unfinished)

Review: Violent, dark, heart wrenching, Eunoia is the cream of the crop for dark fictions. I am a huge horror fan, so naturally I was curious to read something dark and dreary in regards to Reylo. The author doesn’t hope back, which I am quite pleased about. She really builds her word and characters fantastically. The dark character of Kylo really stays completely vile. Please only read if you can hand reading explicit content. Contains non-con!

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The Quietest Evening By MalevolantReverie @malevolent-reverie @meth-lab-shenanigans

Rated: Mature

Summary: Every so often, a girl disappears. No one knows where they go or why they’re taken, but they're never seen alive again. Rey, the police chief’s daughter, is next.

Review: This story is one of my favorites from MR. This one wasn’t nearly as graphic as the others she has written, but I really like the storyline she has built here. It was dark, contained secrets and revelations that had my jaw dropping. I really was at the edge of my seat for this one. It really got my heart pumping! If you are looking for a dark, angsty thriller this is the story for you. Please be aware there are triggers and non-con! (Completed)

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Nobody Knows By hernamewasalice @hernamewasalicewriter

Rated: Explicit

Summary: Nobody knows that the loving wife of Ben Solo was kidnapped as a teenager. Nobody knows. Not their family or closest friends. Not even their twelve year old son, Benny.

Review: Amazing story! This is another extremely dark fic, but more so the past that is associated with Rey and Kylo. Kylo has so many secrets, so does Rey. They look like the perfect couple, but really they have a more sinister start. There are parts that are tender and sweet, but the reality and hard truth of it all is quite painful. Author has an extremely fantastic beginning where she pulls you in. It is seen through the eyes of their son! So good! Recommend! Please be warned, however, there is non-con and violence! (Unfinished)

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[rocket-ship-em]

I’m sure this rant is going to go nowhere and it won’t make any difference but I feel like I need to say something. Why do people not accept lgbt+ people getting offended? So often I see lgbt+ people saying that they find a certain term offensive or they don’t like how someone is talking about them or the lgbt+ community and people’s reaction is just “oh look a social justice warrior feminazi getting butthurt over a joke how stupid” but if someone raises and issue with a joke or comment made about someone’s race or religion then the general tone is “oh sorry I hadn’t realised you would be offended by that and I didn’t mean to offend you”

My point is why can’t we treat people on the lgbt+ community with the same respect as other people?

*side note: I’m not trying to say that racial or religious minority groups aren’t persecuted or have their own issues with acceptance*

I know this rant probably won’t make any sense I’m just fed up of telling people that just because you didn’t mean to offend anyone with your joke doesn’t mean you can keep making that joke in front of other people. This also happens within the lgbt+ community I’ve had gay people defend people making transphobic jokes to me and been subjected to more acephobia than I ever want. How can we ever hope to have the lgbt+ community be accepted by everyone if we can’t even accept others in the community

Tl;dr: if someone in the lgbt+ community says they find a joke or comment you made offensive apologise and then don’t make the joke again to anyone, also don’t go and bitch about the person who found you offensive to other people

[sparkinsidewrites]

The Devil Inside - Chapter Four

Title: The Devil Inside

Chapter: 4/18

Character/Pairing: Davey Havok/Adam Carson; Adam Carson/OFC

Genre: Angst

Rating: Explicit

Summary:  Faith and fear are two of the strongest forces in our lives. Adam had never questioned himself or his beliefs. But what happens when he stumbles across his greatest temptation in the eyes of another man? Written with Havoksangel.

Authors Notes/Warnings:  Nothing in this piece ever happened. I claim no ownership nor do I make any sort of profit from this, other than pride and a sense of amusement.

FOUR

Davey wandered carelessly around the local bookstore the following afternoon, trying to find anything he could to occupy his time. Finally deciding on a Karma Sutra, he headed towards the reading area towards the back of the small store.

He passed a few people in the aisles before coming to a clearing. A smile spread across his features as a familiar face appeared in the small crows. Aubrey. His smile widened all the more. What better way to play with Adam than by befriending his fiance. Davey wasn’t sure just why he wanted to play with Adam so badly--maybe it was the challenge he knew seducing him would bring--but he did. God he did.

Settling into one of the plush couches in the corner of the reading area, Aubrey pulled out the latest James Patterson book she’d found on the ‘New Releases’ shelf. It had been far too long since she'd taken the time to just sit, read, and forget about the rest of the world. Thankfully, she'd gotten off of work early today and had enough time to duck into the bookstore before returning home. Before having to confront Adam once again.

Aubrey sighed, when she'd returned from the restroom yesterday Adam had gone completely cold on her and it had only gotten worse once they'd returned home. For the second night in a row, he'd locked himself in his studio, refusing to open the door to speak with her. This was all honestly starting to scare her.

Davey slowly made his way towards Aubrey, watching as she sank deeper and deeper into the pages of the novel she was reading. "Boo," he whispered in her ear once he’d snuck up behind her.

Jumping nearly out of her seat entirely, Aubrey's eyes darted to the source of the voice. "Davey," she started uncertainly. Adam's reaction to the man before her made her wary of him. Something in his eyes unsettled her.

He chuckled. "I'm sorry. You were reading a scary book and I couldn’t resist."

Aubrey chuckled nervously, closing the book and settling it on her lap. "Not scary," she corrected, "Just intense."

"Well Kiss the Girls scared the hell out of me," he said as he took a seat next to her on the couch.

"Scared me, too. Patterson's got a way with words."

"That he does," Davey agreed with a smile, sitting his book on his lap in her view

Aubrey smiled softly at him, her eyes wandering curiously to the book in his lap. Red quickly spread across her face at the thoughts running through her mind.

A mutual friend of her's and Adam's had bought her and Adam a copy of the Karma Sutra for Christmas that past year as a gag gift. The pair had spent a good few hours flipping through the book and laughing nervously, feeling like two children about to get caught doing something naughty. "That's...um...interesting reading material you've got there."

He looked down at the book and then back up at her, smiling. "Research. I want to try something new, providing I have a rather flexible partner, of course."

"Well, um...That's probably the best place to...um...look," she finished lamely, knowing her face was near crimson.

"You’re about as red as rose, my dear," he teased playfully, touching her cheek with his fingers.

Aubrey’s cheeks darkened, "I'm sorry..It's just...I've never...You're just so open about things...It's just odd." her eyes widened, "I'm sorry that was terribly rude of me. I'm just not used to having someone be so forward about...that."

"Sex," Davey said, plainly.

"Yes and no," she answered, truthfully. She'd never blushed so much in her life. Oh God. what was she getting herself into?

"I feel its better to be open about certain things. Why be shy about something that feels so damn good?" Davey pointed out, shrugging.

"I guess you have a point...It's just that...I just...I'm sorry, I'm not making any sense."She laughed nervously. He must think I'm a fool.

"You have fucked before, right?" He figured that if she was blushing now, saying fucked instead of sex would really get her. "I mean, I don’t want to be rude, but..."

"I've had sex before yes. I'm not that backwards," she laughed nervously, "It's not...I've just never talked to anyone who's been that open about...two men...Not that I'm offended or anything...It's just...I'm sorry. I sound like some pathetic country bumpkin. Ignore me."

He leaned in close. "Two men aren’t that much different than a man and a woman," he whispered. "There are few differences, like prep, but the outcome is still the same."

Aubrey was bright red again, she knew it. "Well...Um..." she trailed off, unsure of what to say.

He laughed. "Can I buy you a cup of coffee?"

Aubrey stared at Davey blankly for a moment, before chuckling nervously, "Well that's the first time anyone's ever asked me for coffee like that," she joked. "I um...I guess, if you want."

"I figured I owed you after turning you into a beet," he said pushing himself to his feet and reaching for her hand to help her up.

Aubrey shook her head, allowing Davey to help her to her feet. "You're one of the most forward men I've ever met."

"I make life interesting," he said. "And at least you know I'm not hitting on you."

Another chuckle fell from her throat, "True. I'm not quite your type," she joked back.

"No," he said. "You are beautiful though. I can see why Adam is so smitten."

"Thank you," she answered, her cheeks reddening all the more, "I'm blessed to have him in my life. God's been good to me."

A smile spread across his face. "You are a religious woman, I take it?"

"Not psychotically, no. But yes, I have my faith."

He nodded as he listened, walking to the coffee bar. "Go to church?"

Aubrey smiled, "Every Sunday for as long as I can remember."

"Does Adam go?"

His words gave her a moments pause, the familiar disheartening feeling spreading through her once more. "Not often. He just...His family are strict Catholics...After 18 years of that...He just...I get where he’s coming from...And I...I don't want to push him."

"Ah," Davey said, understanding a bit now why Adam had reacted as strongly as he had. He walked up to the counter ordering two regular coffees. After he’d paid for them he held one out, handing it to her. "Here you go."

"Thank you," Aubrey murmured, taking the hot container from him and bringing it to her lips.

"You okay, Cherry?" he asked, teasing her about the blushing with the nickname.

"Cherry?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"I thought it was cute," he replied with a shrug.

Aubrey smiled, his meaning sinking in, "It is. And yeah...I'm fine...I just...I don't know."

"Wanna talk about it?"

Sighing softly, Aubrey brought the cup to her lips, taking a sip of the hot coffee, before smiling at the man by her side. "I just...I wish he would at least try to go, for me. I'm not asking him to go every single time...Just once. I mean...we're getting married in two months...I just...I'm sorry, you don't need to hear this."

Davey put his arm around her and walked her to a table to sit down. "If you need to vent, go ahead. It’s not like I am going to tell him," Davey told her. She was going to open up to him and give him everything he needed, he knew it. She was trusting to a fault.

Aubrey shook her head, holding up her hand in protest, "It's stupid really. Don't worry about it."

"You want him to be involved in your life. I understand."

"I just...I don't want to push him...I just want him there. I've always gone to his shows. Supported him. I love him...I just wish for once that he would support me." A heavy sigh fell from her lips, "It's selfish, I know. And that's wrong of me. I just...I'm sorry." He didn’t want or need to hear any of this.

"It’s not selfish. Its understandable," he told her, reaching across the table for her hand.

"It feels selfish, though," she answered honestly, letting Davey take her hand in his. "I don't know."

"If this was turned around and you wouldn’t go to his shows, how would he act?" Davey posed, raising his eyebrow slightly.

Sighing, Aubrey raised her eyes once more, "He'd be upset...His art means the world to him. If I couldn't accept how important it was I couldn't accept him. I know that. I understand it, I just...I don't know."

"Don’t you think you deserve the same respect?"

Another sigh, "Yes. I just...I get why he doesn't want to go and I don't want to push him. I just...I don't know."

"You aren’t very sure of anything are you?"He said with a soft chuckle.

Her eyes narrowed slightly, pulling her hand back from his, "I know I love him and I know I want this to work."

"Aubrey, I wasn’t saying anything against your relationship with Adam. I know you love him. I can see that. I just think you need to stand up for what you want more." He softened his expression and smiled warmly.

Aubrey offered him a guarded smile in return, "I overreacted. Forgive me."What had gotten into her?

"It’s fine. Really," he reassured her, looking down at his watch. "I should get going. Would you like my number in case you need to talk?"

"No, really, I'm fine. I should get going anyway. Adam should be home soon. It was nice bumping into you again."

He smiled standing up. "Likewise. Take care of yourself, Cherry," he told her, leaning down to kiss her cheek.

Aubrey watched him disappear around the corner before turning her attention back to the cup of coffee before her. There was something about Davey that unsettled her. Something about the way he acted, the things he said. Stop being paranoid, Bree, she cursed silently at herself, he’s not bad. He’s just trying to help. You’re as bad as Adam. With a sigh, she too pushed herself to her feet, grabbing her cup and making her way back to her car. There wasn't any use dwelling on his now.

Twenty minutes later Aubrey pulled into her driveway, smiling when she saw Adam's car there. Quickly she climbed out of the care and made her way to the kitchen door, stepping inside. "Adam?" she called, softly.

Adam had collapsed on the couch after he'd gotten home. He hadn’t slept much the night before and he felt completely drained. A sigh fell from his lips. He'd been awful to Aubrey, there was no excuse for it. She hadn't deserved his cold shoulder.

The soft jingle of keys and the telltale creak of the kitchen door caught his attention followed by her soft voice. "I'm in here," he called, softly. She wanted to talk to him. That was something. More than he deserved, really.

She made her way into the living room and jumped on him, smiling widely. He was talking to her. "Hi!"

A muffled groan fell from his lips. Rolling his eyes up to meet hers, Adam smiled in return, "Hey."

"I want you to come to church with me this Sunday." Her eyes were bright and hopeful.

Adam's expression clouded and he turned away from her slightly, "Aubrey, I...I don't know." The hope in her eyes served only to churn guilt in his stomach. How could he go to church now? After what he'd done. What he wanted to do? He was a walking abomination.

She sighed in frustration. "I go to all your art shows. Every single one. You are going to church with me." It wasn’t a request this time.

"Sweetie, please. You don't understand..."

Aubrey climbed off of him, standing beside the couch, anger flickering in her dark eyes. "You don’t understand! I do whatever you ask me to, I never question it! If you don’t start taking some kind of interest in my life, I am going to refuse to take interest in yours." She stared at him, unable to believe she'd said anything like that to him.

He stared, dumbfounded for a few moments before the guilt sank back in. "Aubrey," he began, sitting up in the couch, "I don't want to fight with you...I just...I want to be a part of your life...I just..." I'm a liar. I want him. I shouldn't but I want him. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

She stared at him. "You don’t give a damn about me, do you?"

"I do care, Aubrey. You have to know that. I just..." his voice trailed off, head falling into his hands. Well you're certainly making a wonderful mess of things aren't you, Carson?

She paused, eyes falling to the floor. "Davey said that if I wanted something from you I should ask. So I am asking." Her voice was quiet and soft. All she wanted was one thing. Just one. Why couldn’t he give it to her?

Adam's eyes shot up, panic racing through him. "Davey?"

"I saw him at the book store. We had coffee and talked."

"Talked about what? About me?" his voice rose with every word, emotion strangling his words. Dammit, Carson, pull yourself together! What the fuck is wrong with you?

"Some,” Aubrey told him truthfully, she wouldn’t lie to him, "But we talked about other things too. Books, interests. He's nice."

"He's manipulative," Adam whispered, raking his fingers through his hair, unable to meet her gaze. What the fuck was Davey trying to do to him?

"Just because you don’t like him doesn’t make him manipulative. He was kind to me, Adam. He listened to me. He understood."

"I just...Fine, I'll go. Okay? I just...I don't want to fight with you." His tone was far harsher than he'd intended. This isn't how it's supposed to be. Adam loved her, he wanted to be a part of her life. Why couldn't she just understand that he couldn't do this? Not now.

She glared at him. "You know what? Forget it! I don’t want you there. I can live my life separate from you and you can do the same for all I care. I would say meet me when you want to make love but that doesn’t seem interest you anymore either." Aubrey couldn’t believe the words that were falling from her lips. It’s not supposed to be this way.

Adam's eyes closed, his hands cradling his head. This was all so fucked up. And it was his fault. He shouldn't have give in to Davey. He was paying for that mistake now. "Please don't do this. I don't want to fight with you. I just..." Adam trailed off, pushing himself up from the couch, "I can't do this right now. I'm sorry."

Brushing past Aubrey, he made a beeline for the door. Once outside he pulled his crumpled pack of cigarettes from his back pocket. Empty. Fuck. Just perfect. With a sigh, he leaned back against the cool brick of the house. What was he going to do?

[spiffysixxsense]

1-100 go!!!

Sunrise or sunset? The only reason I see a sunrise is because I have been up all night, so I guess sunsets

Are you mentally ill? Oh god here we go

Are you physically ill? I don’t think so, I just take shitty care of myself

What is the most expensive thing you have bought? Concert tickets

Do you have a job? Technically? even though Im off until next May

Are you in school? Yes :(

Are you a dropout? not yet

Are you in college? yes 

Introvert or extrovert? Introverted to the point it impedes my life. 

What do you think when you look at your body? “I wish…” something about changing it. 

What have others said when they look at your body? How would I know? Probably like ‘that girl shouldn’t be wearing a bikini’

Do you have a particular song that you feel deeply? Lots. 

Talk about a time in your life where you have felt most alive? i have no idea. probably doing something as a kid.

Are you confident wearing a bikini? lol i answered that other question before seeing this one - no. 

Can you look people in the eyes while talking? Sure.

Has anything terrible happened to you? Yes. 

Has anything wonderful happened to you? I guess.

Favorite part of your personality? I am not easily offended 

Least favorite part of your personality? All of it? I’m depressed im anxious im insecure im stubborn im easily angered im moody im dependent im clingy

Favorite part of your body? I don’t have an answer for this in a physical manner, so my favorite part is that it still functions through what it has been through (And what I put it through)

Least favorite part of your body? Stomach I guess? I don’t like any part of me. 

Favorite quote? “What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly”

Do you have friendships with all genders? Sure

Do you have a good relationship with your father? I guess

Do you have a good relationship with your mother? Now, yes. 

Do you have a good relationship with your siblings? This implies i have siblings. 

Have you ever been hurt physically or mentally by a family member? Yes. 

Have you ever had a near death experience? I don’t think so. Car accidents, yes, but my injuries were not that serious.

Do you know anyone who has taken their own life? Yes. Both personal & followings.

Have you ever tried to take your own life? Yes & no. Ive committed harm to myself with suicidal thoughts, but I feel like if I 100% knew I wanted to end my life I would have. There was always doubt. 

Biggest lie you have told? “Yeah, Im okay, just tired”

Do you follow any conspiracies? I love conspiracy theories but usually don’t believe them 

Do you believe in a New World Order? I believe in the possibility. 

Do you respect your government and the way your country is run? Oh man you can tell these are questions for a worldwide audience. NO. 

Is there currently any strife in your country? Listen to a Trump speech. 

Have you ever been displaced within your country? Not on an individual level. 

Are your friendships healthy? sure?

Are you currently fighting with a friend? No but I also don’t have many friends. 

Are you jealous of a friend? Why? Im jealous of anyone who isnt me honestly. 

Do you believe in the Illuminati? Why the hell not. 

Do you think any celebrities are associated with the Illuminati? Who? Probably (Im looking at you Beyonce lol)

How can people tell you are nervous? Im sweating, sorry everyone, I keep my answers brief if spoken to. 

How can people tell you are sad? Im quiet. im angry sounding

Do you ever express your true feelings? No.

Regrets in your life? Not trying harder or participating when I could. 

Achievements in your life? Im still here? 

What did people say about you in school? I don’t think people said anything. I kinda didnt exist. 

What did you say about people in school? Again, not much, I had my group of friends and tended to stick with them and only them. 

Is there something you have never told anyone? Sure

Have you committed an illegal act? Ive smoked pot? 

If you had two days to spend one million dollars how would you spend it? Pay my tuition and then still owe money  

What were your aspirations at age 5, 10, 15, 18? Probably to like pet cats? To be a scientist, to be dead probably, then to go to college? I didnt want to but felt like i had to. 

Describe your first kiss? Was it how you imagined? I am sure i imagined some romantic thing but it was just in his doorway as I left his house. 

Growing up were you in a wealthy, average, or low income household? Average.  

Are you from a broken marriage? im from a broken never-married

Have you been raised by a solo parent? No, I lived with both parents until i was 17. 

Do you know both your parents? yes

What colour eyes, hair and skin do you have? Brown, Brunette, white. 

Have you abused drugs or alcohol? No. 

What languages can you speak? English

Do you conform to your societies standards? Not really. 

Do you cry often? Yes

Do you tell people what you think of them? No, but I don’t talk to many people to have an opinion of. 

Are you comfortable accepting compliments? No

Are you comfortable giving compliments? Sure

Is any mental illness hindering your life? Uhm every single fucking day of my life. 

Is any physical illness hindering your life? I guess my vertigo prevents me from going in things that move? ie roller coasters, boats

Do you keep up with current events? Not really. Just from social media

What’s the latest news in the world you have heard/read? Trump being an asshole, what else is new 

What have you done today? Studied a little but got distracted by this lol

Do you sleep well? Once i am asleep, I sleep fine. falling asleep is the problem. 

Do you sleep badly? ^^

Have you ever hurt anyone because you were hurting? All the time 

Has anyone ever hurt you because they were hurting? Maybe?

Have you ever had to end a friendship/relationship? Why? No, people always end their relationship/friendship with me. I dont blame them 

Have you ever stopped someone from hurting themselves? I have tried. 

Has anyone ever stopped you from hurting yourself? Not really? Like in the moment? no, nobody ever knew. 

Do you like your laugh? Its fine.

Are you preparing for an apocalypse? And what kind? No, let it kill me

Do you have any funny family stories? ‘funny’? not really. I have a second cousin? Who is a doctor and for some reason has had an ongoing joke since I was little that he is going to remove my spleen? is that funny? 

Are you religious? No. 

Do you like to watch true crime shows or movies? #CriminalMinds #RIPWalker

Are you interested in cults? They are interesting but Im not exactly looking into joining one? lol

Would you like to raise a family in your country? No but i will never have the courage to leave

List some things you wanted in your childhood but never got? family stability 

Is there a large age gap between you and a sibling? I don’t have any siblings. 

Are you from a blended family? No. just a broken one. 

Do you believe in marriage? Why/Why not? Yes, because nobody else in my life does. 

What is the nicest thing anyone has said to you? Calling me strong? saying I dont give up? Like i give up every day and everything affects me, Im not strong 

Do you keep a journal? As a kid i did. 

Would anyone be hurt by reading it? no, but don’t tell Jacob I had a crush on him in 5th grade

Do you have children? No

Have you been pregnant? No

List your favorite movies? A Beautiful Mind, Memento, The Breakfast Club, Dr. Strange. 

List your favorite people? @x-i-a-t & @reddragon8000

Talk about the birthmarks and scars on your body? I think I have a birth mark on my hip thats very faint, and all of my scars have honestly faded at this point that they are basically gone.

Do you look after yourself? Not at all lol

Do you put yourself or others first? others. 

Are you happy today? Im not extra sad, so Im as close as i can get. 

Are you loved? I think so. 

[chihuahuachronicles-blog]

A Blog? Ew.

Hiiiiii. So, I’ve decided to start a blog. Because, why the fuck not? I honestly don’t care if my mom is the only person that reads this. I hate the word “blog” by the way. I hate the idea of a blog, so I’m just going to call this blog (so pretentious) for what it is: word vomit. It’s my word vomit and you can like it, hate it, be completely indifferent to it, I really don’t care.

First and foremost, here are a few things you should know about me:

1.     I love to write but it also fucking terrifies me.

2.     I curse a lot.

3.     I am and actress. Sorry, an ACTOR. (Go feminism!)

4.     I am not a feminist. Bitches calm down, let me explain! I am all for girl power, equality, inclusiveness, etc. After all, I am a woman and a fucking smart one and I will not apologize for it. But lets be real, you’ll never catch me with hairy pits and legs and if you tell me to smile, I won’t scream at you and think you’re trying to objectify me.  

5.     I believe in chivalry. Call me sexist. Whatever. I hope you get hit in the face by the door your boyfriend didn’t hold for you when you were walking into a restaurant in your pretty dress and heels.

6.     I’m afraid of rejection. Who isn’t?

7.     I’m afraid of babies. I’m afraid of the way they look at me; it gives me tunnel vision and I start to panic.

8.     I don’t know if I can be a mom. Actually, let me rephrase that. I don’t know if I want to be a mom. (Sorry mom, nothing against you, I swear) In fact, my biggest fear is realizing that I am just too selfish to want to give up my life to raise another human.

9.     Anyone who says their life is better after having children is a fucking liar! More fulfilling? Maybe. Better? Nope. I guess it depends on your idea of better.

10.  I believe my 9 lbs. Chihuahua and I have the same size bladder. In fact, I firmly believe that if I ever get pregnant, I would have to wear diapers for 9 months straight.  I would pee my pants if there were a bean in my uterus.

11. I believe my 9 lbs. Chihuahua and I are soul mates.  I die a little every time I leave the house and see the look on his face.  When we’re cuddled up on the couch, I purposely make myself feel uncomfortable so he can be more comfortable. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.

12. I think you can have more than one soul mate in your lifetime, at separate times or at the same time. My husband’s my soul mate, my friend is my soul mate, my boyfriend who passed away was (is) my soul mate (that’s a story for another day). Soul mates don’t have to be lovers people! They are people you connect with on a different level. It’s almost like you exist on the same frequency as them. You love and understand them unconditionally and losing them would throw your life completely out of balance, because for some fucked up reason, we feel like our life makes more sense because of the fact that we connect with these so-called soulmates.

13. Oh yeah, I’m married! To an actor. Fml

14. I’m sarcastic. In case you haven’t already noticed. But I also don’t think I have an annoying sense of humor. I’m not like one of those people who is SO sarcastic that you don’t know whether or not I’m joking anymore. That’s annoying.

15. A lot of things annoy me. I’ll save that list for another entry.

16. I have daddy issues. Don’t we all….

17. I have a severe; I mean SEVERE fear of losing everyone I love; not of being abandoned by them, a fear of them dying. It’s horrible I know. It’s no way to live but I can’t help it. My husband doesn’t know this, but every time he travels somewhere without me, I replay different scenarios of hearing the news of his plane crashing in my head. I prepare for the worst. It’s stupid, I know! He’s more likely to suffer a deathly car accident, but then again, that could happen.

18. On that note, I can positively say that 100% of the anxiety I suffer everyday comes from the fact that I cannot control everything and everyone around me. I can’t protect everyone, not even myself. I am slowly beginning to accept that.

19. I used to think the horoscope was stupid. I don’t know about that anymore. I’m confused.

20. I don’t like religion. All I’m gonna say about this right now is I understand why religion came about. I get it. I get the point of it. Organized religion, like organized governments created order and unity. But then humans just had to out-human themselves and fuck everything up and start the crusades and start killing everyone who didn’t believe in the same stupid God they believed in.

21. I’m spiritual, not religious. Call me a fucking LA cliché, whatevs. At least I don’t live in constant fear of being punished by God for saying what I think.

22. I’m not a racist. Kind of. I’m a little racist….I guess that makes me a racist. How do I explain this without offending anyone? I make fun of Latinos, hence, myself. Does that count as racism? I love diversity. In fact, I encourage diversity but I also think we’ve all been a complete stereotype of our ethnic group at some point.

23. I think I’m more fluent in English than I am in Spanish, which is embarrassing. Or maybe my thoughts are more fluent in English, which is why I don’t write in Spanish; unless it’s poetry, because it sounds prettier and grossly cheesy at the same time.

24. I love movies. I live for movies. I’m an actor for crying out loud! I think whoever doesn’t watch movies or listens to music is a soulless devil.

25. I believe everyone is capable of apologizing. But I think that if you are never taught to apologize, you will always think of an apology as a sign of weakness. I think it shows strength and I think it takes guts.

26. I cry a lot. Not by myself, though, a lot of things I see and hear make me cry. The older I get, the more I cry. I used to make fun of my mom for crying over the lamest things; like a Hallmark Christmas movie or a Mexican novela. But now I cry watching novelas or when I see something that is unbearably cute.

27. I hate when people tickle me, so please don’t ever tickle me. In my mind, ticking is synonymous with torture. Tickles don’t make me laugh, they make me cry; just like clowns.

28. I fucking hate clowns. Who ever thought that clowns could be entertaining…to children?! Who ever saw a red rubber ball and said, “oh, I can put this over my nose, wear a ridiculous onesie, put white makeup on my face, a rainbow afro on my head, huge ass shoes and make children laugh?! Unless you’re Patch fucking Adams, I don’t want to see you wearing a red nose.

29. I am a total germaphobe. Blood doesn’t gross me out though; I find it kind of fascinating actually.

30. Blood is almost as fascinating to me as finding out someone has a twin brother or sister. Like, WHAT? There’s another YOU that I had no idea about?!  It just blows my mind.

Look, I realize that I will probably end up offending a ton of people with this BLOG but I am sick of people getting offended over nothing. Wanna know what I find offensive? BAD GRAMMAR.

I learned a new word the other day: Jouska (n): “a hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head – a crisp analysis, a cathartic dialogue…” I don’t know how to use this word in a fucking sentence and apparently neither does the Internet. All I know is I have felt this way every day of my 26 year old existence. I compulsively play out actions and conversations in my head that never end up actually taking place. And if they do take place, they're never how I pictured them. I wish I were more impulsive, like those people that talk before they think. Do you know how long it took for me to get off my ass and start writing this? Anyway, I digress. The point is, I’ve had a year long writer’s block and writing something that people can actually read was one of my new year’s resolutions. I need to stop thinking about things I want to do or say and just actually DO them. I also need to stop using the word "things".

I have come to the conclusion this year that if I keep holding my thoughts and emotions in, I will explode. This is after all why I am a performer. I need to show, I need to explain and I need to be heard.  

I’m not sure what this whole “word vomit” thing is going to be about, but then again, I’m calling it word vomit for a reason.

- K byeeee

[tigerrobot]

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!

The folk-lore surrounding vampires comes in such a varying array of flavours, it is almost impossible to know exactly how to deal with them. This happened for a number of reasons. Different vampiric houses feed on different forms of life. That isn't to say one consumes humans, another eats deer, and so on. Life is more than just blood. Emotion, thoughts, energy or what some call a soul, are all potential food sources for the different breeds of vampires.

Of course, it is further complicated by vampires themselves spreading misinformation. The idea that they are all somehow gorgeous and us weak, pathetic mortals can't keep our eyes, hands, and other parts off of them is just ridiculous. They typically prefer nighttime but aren't limited to it, they are just weaker, more human-like during the day. Garlic is just food. Holy water does work, because they are from various demonic realms but religious denomination doesn't matter when it comes to blessing it.

From what I've heard, even before their popularity exploded they were insufferable. I can honestly say, out of everything I've faced off against, I always get a little more pleasure out of beating the shit out of a vampire.

It was a gorgeous, sunny day when the call came in. Amelia and I were hanging out in the backyard, lazily swinging while trying to figure out a better use for our time. I saw Mom in the kitchen answer the phone and her body language told me something bad had happened. Her shoulders dropped and she sat down. The call was brief and she stayed seated after hanging up. I could tell she was gathering herself before coming out.

"Hey girls. That was the principal on the phone. School is canceled tomorrow. I'm so sorry, they found one of your friends, Greg Matthews. Mr. Wraspon said the police were investigating what happened." She came over and gave both of us a hug. Amelia was in shock, my head retreated and started trying to figure out how it could have happened.

After Mom went back inside, Amelia turned to me. "Pen... How? What do you think happened?" Tears were streaming down her cheeks which made my eyes water too. Greg was a good guy, one of those who had stuck up for me and paid the price but continued to do so.

"I dunno, but I'm going to poke around. Hopefully it is just a matter for the police but..."

"But you won't be able to sleep until you know this isn't from your world." She nodded, her face grim. "Well, you know I'm with you on this, right?"

"Ames, I might be crossing the law here, I don't want you getting in trouble for this." I tried to protest but it was weak at best. Amelia would probably be able to look into this better than I could.

"Ha, exactly why you need me. I can just see you trying to talk your way out of a run-in with the cops now." She smiled, knowing she was backing me into a corner. She was just better at people than I was.

"Fine, but if it is something I have to deal with, you will let ME deal with it, right?" I looked at her, mustering up as much severity as I could. On this she knew I wasn't joking, and I wouldn't budge. She nodded and we got up, deciding it was better to get going now while the trail may still be warm.

Amelia drove us to the school, cops were swarming all over the place. We parked in the student lot and walked around back, out to where the runner's track was, to survey where the main activity was. Most of the cars were on the west side of the school, so it was likely either the auto shop or the library. With nobody guarding the outside, Amelia and I were able to move around the outside of the building and look through the windows. I didn't expect the library to be the crime scene but the evidence markers all over the place made it clear something happened in there.

"I can't see enough to know what happened. I have to get in there." I said and Amelia moved to crack the window when a CSI walked near and we had to move to the side. "Damn, there are still too many of them around. We'll have to wait until later. I need at least something from the crime scene to get a better look at what went down."

Amelia smirked at me. "Wait here. Go in when it's clear." And then she darted away.

"Ames, wait!" I reached out for her but she was too far and wasn't listening now. "Dammit, Amelia, don't get yourself in trouble on my part."

A few minutes later I heard a girlish scream from inside that drew the attention of those in the library. The CSI close to the window moved toward the noise and then I saw Amelia duck past the 2 officers at the door and into the room. Tears poured down her face as her eyes locked on the blood stained carpet. As she went toward it, every worker in the library ran to stop her getting closer, all of them shouting about contaminating the crime scene. She thrashed lightly against them trying to restrain her and they all worked to remove her. I recognized my chance and slid the window open, slipping inside.

A short distance into the room was a bookshelf that had been splashed with blood. It was easy enough to grab and book that hadn't been bagged up yet and I was back out the window before anyone had even returned from escorting Amelia away.

It was about 15 minutes before Amelia was able to get free. "I told them I was Greg's girlfriend. They let me off with a warning. Did you get what you needed?" Amelia said, her eyes still red and I knew the tears she had been shedding were real. And she hadn't exactly lied. Her and Greg had dated for a while but that was in 9th grade and Greg hadn't had a girlfriend since. I was happy she had made the distraction I needed but I knew I'd need to talk to her about lying on my behalf. And I knew she wouldn't listen to me when I did.

I showed her the book, it's spine marked with a dramatic drip of blood and I could see her eyes beginning to water again. I put the book into a plastic bag and let it fall gently to the ground before hugging her. She hugged me tight, a few quick sobs escaping her, before she re-mastered herself and came back, wiping away the tears. Her eyes hardened again and we both nodded. I picked up the bag and we headed out to the woods behind the school. It was time for me to do my part.

Ritual magic isn't like the quick casts of battle magic. The tattoos up and down my arms made up the various runes necessary for most of the spells you'd be likely to use in a fight. I had started them years ago, originally my parents were resistant but I was able to show them how they were harmless, didn't mean anything, nobody would be offended. They accepted them as a measure of self-expression and I was happy to not have to explain magic to them. Ritual magic on the other hand didn't have runes tied to it. It was generally much deeper, more tied to physical things. Where battle magic could be scribbled on scrolls and memorized, ritual magic had to be felt, tapped into, dug up, and given its own life.

That's what I needed the blood for, a tie to the person Greg was. Using the blood, I could summon what remained of his spirit but that was too close to necromancy for me. I preferred to give restless spirits peace, not force them to relive their own deaths.

We found a clearing in the woods, a place we had visited before while skipping class. It was peaceful, almost enough to make me forget why we were there. I enjoyed it for a few moments before pulling the book from my bag and setting it on the ground. I whispered a short apology to Greg for any pain this may cause his spirit and sat down. Ames had been around this block with me before, last year when we found out a friend needed help, so she knew I needed to focus. She stood outside the clearing, watching for anyone who might happen upon us.

I plucked a strand of hair from my head and wrapped it around the book, making sure it was tight against the blood on the binding. It helps to tie blood to something living. Skin, spit, even my own blood would have worked. Hair was just cleaner. I closed my eyes, started shutting off my physical senses. I wasn't the most adept at ritual magic, so it helped to focus only on the things that mattered. The strand of hair, the blood, a memory of Greg. I thought of a time when he and Amelia were dating, the 3 of us went to a movie. He was sweet on her for sure, and she liked him enough at the time. I remembered his smile, very much a "I can't believe I'm on a date with Amelia!" kind of smile. It was cute.

The memory served as a strong enough focus. I could smell the blood mixed with my conditioner. I only briefly felt my eyes roll back as I tumbled down the pathways. The ritual I was attempting was one of sight. I was hoping to see Greg's death. I shuddered as the library raced into my vision. Immediately, the ritual confirmed it was Greg's blood as I found myself inside of his head. It was a weird feeling, thinking the thoughts of someone else, seeing the world through their eyes, hearing what they hear.

Greg was thinking about the paper he was working on. Something for a history class, he was researching the post-World War 2 rise of the middle class and the effect on the economy of the 21st century. Greg was smart, like Ivy-league smart. That's how he and Amelia got together in the first place. At 16 he already had academic recruiters knocking on his door. Even international schools were interested in having him study with them. But being inside his head, he didn't even think about that. He was so focused on the pursuit of knowledge, the thrill of that hunt was all he knew. Had cared about.

It was through his ears that I heard a rustling. I knew he had heard it to because there would be no way I would be able to recall it through the ritual. He got up from the desk he was seated at. I could feel his mind shift with a sense of fear, dread. He was alone in the library, probably without express permission. He thought it was the janitor or maybe some other kids sneaking in to get up to trouble. He called out, "Is someone there?" No response. He moved closer. His heart beat harder, his breathing slowed as he half-held it with each step, trying to be as quiet as possible.

The next rustle was the last he heard. I saw the thing that leapt on him - all teeth, pale skin, black eyes. Greg fought, but it had surprised him. The first bite hadn't been lethal but it had been deep on his right forearm. The adrenaline made him not even feel the pain. That was good at least. The fight only lasted a few moments because the thing managed to get him to the ground. There was blood everywhere and then it's teeth found Greg's neck and the vision faded. I pulled myself from the ritual, holding onto it after the point of death could disrupt the rest of the spirit. When I came out, tears rolled down my cheeks freely. Amelia had come over and was holding me. She told me I had been sobbing.

I shook my head and let it out. Amelia held me while I cried and, after, I told her what I had seen.

"So, what was it?" She said, her own voice carrying a slight tremble as she tried to hold it together for me.

"I don't know. I don't know..." It was all I could think to say. I probably repeated it a few more times. Feeling someone die, it wasn't something you got over quickly.

We waited awhile, gave ourselves time to deal, and then went and grabbed something to eat, mainly so that I had some time to think. While we sat at the diner, Amelia pulled out her phone and did some research of her own. We both came away with the same conclusion. Greg was the victim of a vampire. The teeth, the pale skin, the black eyes.

Most of what I know now about vampires I learned after this encounter. Like the fact that they don't really care about daylight. The fact that Greg died in the morning after sun-up escaped me at the time. Even us bad-ass protectors of humanity and sentinels of the night can get emotional.

Vampires are normally very reserved, very thoughtful, and very deliberate. They kill slowly, don't draw attention to their activities, and they never leave a body. This vampire was alone and probably hadn't been taught how to feed. I started learning magic when I was 8, started 'patrolling' to steal a word from a popular TV show, when I was 14. This was the first time I had even had reason to believe that vampires were real, that's how good they usually were at covering their tracks.

The only bit of luck on the day was that the janitor had been in the school that morning and Greg had been found quickly. Which meant I could get to work quickly, as well.

First was finding where the vampire was making its lair. That proved simple with a quick tracking spell. All supernatural things have their own magical energy, their own magical scent, which can be used to track them. This is how hell-hounds and werewolves are able to track prey so efficiently. The tracking spell actually uses the runes that match with werewolves, and before having met a werewolf, I had never even thought about that aspect of the spell.

I was surprised to find that the tracking spell led us back to the school. Ames had tagged along, and I was grateful for her support. Though it was dark by the time I felt prepared enough for the battle. I knew it would be better to go in during the day, find it sleeping, and deal with it. But not all supernatural things were inherently evil and, while the vampire had killed a friend of ours, I didn't like the idea of being judge, jury, and executioner.

I rolled my eyes as we walked up to the boiler room of the school. It was always the boiler room. I eased the door open, it squeaking the appropriate amount, which is to say a lot, and I winced. I might as well have shouted "Hey! 2 teenage girls here! Come get dinner!"

I rolled up the left sleeve of my jacket, exposing the runes for my flamebolt, before we moved in further. The room wasn't as big as I was worried it would be and we found the vampire's nest easily enough. Despite being in the boiler room, it was well kept. A full armoire, a bed, even a mirror though I couldn't think for what reason at the time. Again, I didn't know as much then as I do now about them.

In classic movie fashion, we heard the loud bang of the door close and turned around to find the object of our search standing there. He stood about 6 feet tall and was currently dressed in a very nice suit. The suit definitely added more to him than he did to it. With it, he'd get noticed at parties, otherwise he looked plain. His hair was longer in front, giving him dramatic bangs, but the hair was thin and didn't provide any kind of cover for his eyes.

"Hello, ladies. Care for a drink?" He tried to sound suave and charming, but it came off as fake, he was trying too hard.

"Seriously? Does that line EVER work?" I said, and moved in front of Amelia. "You sound like you watched too many movies and nobody told you that shit wasn't real."

"Watch your tongue, mortal. You speak with a creature of the night. Your life is mine to end as I see fit. If you are lucky, I will allow you to join my house. Kneel before your new master!" He stepped from the door and the fingers of my right hand moved to my left elbow, preparing to stop him if necessary.

As though he sensed my intention, he stopped in his tracks. "Ah... I see. You aren't like the rest of them. Then why did you come looking for me?"

Amelia stepped in front of me. "You... You killed Greg. Why?" She was shaking. As I noticed, I realized how upset she must have been. She'd been holding it together for me all day.

"Why, breakfast, of course. Why do you eat bacon, mortal?" He smirked at her. His callousness was another attempt at charm that went awry. I placed a hand on Amelia's shoulder and gave a light squeeze of re-assurance before stepping closer to the vampire. This put us about 10 feet apart.

He rolled his eyes. "Is this how we are to be, you stepping in front of each other until we are finally face to face? I get it, you both want to be near me. So give in and let yourself be near me!" He stepped forward again and I drew my fingers down the runes on my left arm, allowing them to ignite. The flames that burst out of them were very real and it hurt to hold the spell in this way so I only kept it active for a second, to show him I wasn't messing around. This was enough to give him pause.

"Ah, and here I foolishly thought you were a goth kid looking for my brand of freedom. But... Think of it. With your power, combined with mine, you could live forever! Who can stand against you now? Imagine if you had the strength, the speed, the charisma of one of the children of the night?!" His eyes flashed red as he finished it little speech. My head went fuzzy for a moment and I took a step backwards, steadying myself. Amelia hadn't be trained as I had and stepped forward, her own eyes glowing a soft crimson.

"Amelia? Amelia, no!" The vampire reached out and she reached to him. He clasped her hand and drew her in, gently, with a dancer's twirl, dipping her to expose her neck. He glanced at me as I steadied myself, giving a wink as he opened his mouth, a full set of fangs showing behind the human teeth in front. As he began to lower his head I knew I couldn't risk a firebolt with Amelia so close and me so dizzy still. Instead I grabbed my right wrist and released a burst of air powerful enough to throw me backwards and send him and Amelia flying into the door he had recently closed, his body breaking her fall.

The shock of the spell was enough to break his own over her and he hissed as she scrambled to her feet, rushing to close the distance between us as he drew himself up.

"As soon as you can, get out of here, Ames. Go tell Mrs. Rabaht what is happening." She nodded, muttered something about 'chivalrous bullshit' under her breath, but I knew she understood. I had tried teaching her magic, even just to defend herself, but most people just cannot do it. It frustrated her, the valedictorian of everything, that there was something she couldn't learn.

The vampire moved on me then, faster than I had expected. Instinctively, I squeezed my left hand, the ring on my index finger grew warm and a barrier exploded in front of me which the vampire slammed into. As this happened, I touched my left hand to my chest, white light engulfing it as I made a fist.

Pure human soul energy, a piece of my own life-force weaponized, careened toward the vampire's face on the edge of my left hook. He raised a hand quickly, the strength of the block sending a shudder all the way down my arm to my shoulder. The release of the positive energy was stronger than he expected and it burned his hand more viscously than even a flame could have. He let out a feral scream and Amelia took her chance to run toward the door.

He recovered and move to get to her. In another move of bullshit chivalry, I jumped onto him letting the shield fall and grabbed his shoulders. It slowed him but he didn't go down like I had hoped. Amelia slipped out and her turned to me, shoving me away hard and I could tell he was starting to tap into his real strength.

"Well, there goes my dinner. I suppose I'll have to settle for your tainted blood then." He lunged forward again causing me to back up. I had just enough time to reactivate the shield before he began slashing away at it. The ring heating more and more, growing uncomfortable. The force of the blows, even through the spell, was enough to cause me to continue retreating until I hit a wall. He rained great powerful strikes downward, forcing me to the floor. One of his taloned hands broke through and the ring went abruptly cool.

He stood over me, smiling, his eyes cold and hard. "Out of tricks?" His tongue ran over his teeth and his mouth opened wide as he moved to bite me. I dropped lower on the wall, raised my left hand and used my right to send a firebolt straight into his mouth. The explosion was brilliant, blinding me momentarily even through closed eyelids, and causing him to fly up and back, slamming into the ceiling and then falling to the ground, screaming and writhing in pain.

I got up and raced to the door. As I slipped out, he was already getting back to his feet. I ran through the basement, heading back to the stairs that would bring me to the main floor when a loud crash echoed from behind me. The iron door to the boiler room was crumpled against the opposite wall and the vampire stood in the middle of the hallway panting. He spotted me and burst into motion, chasing after me. I made it to the top of the stairs before he barreled into me, sending us both sprawling into the hallway.

Spinning on my back, I kicked out as he moved toward me and caught him in his heavily damaged face, forcing him back again. His right cheek, lips, and the tip of his nose were missing, his entire jaw was charred. His eyes were blood red and he made the sound of a snarl despite the fact that he lacked the facial features necessary to complete it. At least I could confirm fire worked against vampires.

Kicking myself backward, my back hit a door. I reached up, using the door knob to pull myself up and open the door in one movement. He was again on me in a flash, I couldn't close the door as he stalked in after me. Saliva dripped from his ruined mouth.

"Oh, this is gonna be my favourite meal yet." His speech was slurred from the damage I had already done. I pulled a cross out of a pocket in my jacket and the vampire laughed as he stepped forward, grabbing my hand and pressing the cross into it's skin.

"How it burns. No. No. Put it away." He laughed as the cross did nothing to him.

"Yeah, see, it isn't a cross that hurts us. It is the presence of the divine, which comes from faith in a symbol. I guess you aren't a believer." Classic bad-guy syndrome had set in, I guess, because this was certainly more information than I had expected. I had to admit, it did look pretty bad for me. I was out of defensives and he was too close to let me get off another firebolt. Backing away was the only thing I could do and, fortunately for me, he was enjoying slowly stalking me. That's when I noticed what room I was in.

The chemistry lab had natural gas at multiple stations for Bunsen burners. As I backed past one, I turned it on as stealthily as I could, hoping the vampire wouldn't notice. I continued backing up and did it again when I came to another. At the end of the row, 3 had been turned on but my back was now to a wall again.

This time, the vampire leapt onto the station and knelt down so that he was between me, the door, and the next row. "Well now. I can't say this has been fun but I'm certainly going to enjoy this part. Any last words, mageling?"

I smirked up at him. "Yeah. Do you like barbecue?" He cocked his head to the side quizzically but I didn't wait for him to understand. I threw open the window and leapt for it, flicking my fingers and causing a small flame to erupt at the tip of my thumb. I knew I wouldn't get through the window, and I knew this was going to hurt. The resulting explosion threw me 20 feet outside. My denim jacket protected me from the smaller shards of glass but it did nothing to save my eyebrows from the flames.

I couldn't feel my face, my hands, or my a portion of my left arm. When I could finally open my eyes again I saw way. In my desperation, I had done significant damage to myself. The skin on my left arm was burned badly where I had used it to protect my face. The runes there were destroyed. Shock set in as I realized what this might have just cost me. I looked up and the school was on fire, most of the lab itself had been blown apart though.

I'm not sure how much time passed as I sat there, my brain unable to work through everything, before I heard a gasp from behind me. I turned, my eyes glassy and not focusing, to see the shape of Amelia there with Mrs. Rahabt. Mrs. Rabaht came over and helped me to my feet, speaking calmly and soothingly.

"Come now, child, we'll see to all of this. Come, come. Amelia, dear, on her other side. She's in shock, we need to get her to my car."

Amelia and I spent the rest of the night at Mrs. Rabaht's while she administered potions, salves, and a generous amount of magic to try and heal my wounds. After that evening, my parents wouldn't let me openly go see Mrs. Rabaht anymore. She was able to fix the damage I had done but my eyebrows were still gone and that required explanation. Mrs. Rabaht had told them Amelia, myself, and a few of our other friends were playing a game and one of the girls had dared me to shave them off and I had done it without a moment's hesitation. They took away my TV for the week as punishment for doing something without thinking. I didn't bother to fight with them about it. They didn't often deem it necessary to punish me and when they did I knew they were mad. It didn't help that they didn't know where I was the night the school exploded after one of my friends had been found dead either.

A body was found in the wreckage of the chemistry lab. They couldn't identify it from the remains however, when the stuff was found in the basement, it turned out the vampire was the nephew of the janitor. Explained how he had gotten into the school in the first place. The janitor left the school shortly after that and, since I was 16, I didn't bother trying to chase him down to find out his side of the story. Some people will do just about anything for those they care about and I'm sure he didn't realize the monster his nephew was. Or, at least, didn't want to admit it if he did know.

Most of the tattoos on my hands and my left arm needed to be re-touched but that was easy enough, especially when I didn't have a TV to waste time watching. Amelia didn't leave my side for a few days after that either. She missed a date with the captain of the basketball team, which she didn't let me forget, but she wouldn't go even when I insisted I was fine. We all have our priorities.