#I’m not sure his guy is fucking thinking about northern Illinois either like
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Hey so if none of you have heard. A federal judge, Judge Stephen P. McGlynn, has overturned Illinois’s statewide ban on semiautomatic weapons/assault rifles. The state has 30 days to appeal before it is put into effect and boy oh boy is our governer trying his damn hardest. Lol, is the government stupid is the government idiotic? I can only pray this shit is appealed.
#I don’t talk about politics but this is fucking absurd#I’m not sure his guy is fucking thinking about northern Illinois either like#did you forget Chicago exists#and you want to revoke a ban ? on semi autos?#did you forget the schools? Have you no awareness of their sheer power?#fuck you Judge Stephen P. McGlynn
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Texas?
Yeehaw
Name: Sebastian Inglesias
While Texas does have a second last name because he’s Hispanic, he decided to drop it. I know many Hispanic who have either both of their parents’ names and of only their fathers’ last name with the former being more common. Those with one last name has less complications with paperwork, applications, etc., than with those with two last names. Considering all this, I think that Texas would drop the second last name to make his life more easier.
Age: 27-29
Gender: Cis male
Ethnicity/Race: Hispanic (Mestizo)
Siblings: Coahuila (perhaps Chihuahua and Nuevo Leon too but it’s still a wip)
Height: 5′11 (180.34 cm)
He’s sad that he’s not 6′0. He may be taller than some of his fellow Mexican brethren, but he gets reminded that he’s not the tallest in the Union, or at the very least, he’s not 6′0. This annoys him to no end.
Relations:
-Arizona: They’re buddies. They both share a love for guns, have similar conservative ideologies, and they love a/c. No matter how much New Mexico tries to discourage Arizona from talking to him, Arizona just doesn’t care. He thinks that Texas is cool (which fuels his already big ego)
-Arkansas: They get along. That’s it. I suppose that sometimes he does call her Ar-kansas and she don’t talk to him for a whole day after that, but they’re cool nonetheless.
-California: They don’t like each other. He finds her annoying and thinks she’s an idiot. When she was first introduced to the states, he thought that they could be together and be some sort of duo. But they thought different things and it upset him. To him, it almost felt like betrayal because he thought he knew her and she supported and admired him. So why doesn’t she support him now? Today, they just bicker and often start arguments. Both of their egos will never let it go and make up.
-Coahuila: It’s complicated. Coahuila was enraged when Texas broke away from her and even more so when the US helped. While I’m not sure their relationship was during this time period, I do know that they didn’t talked for a while. Texas believed he was doing the right thing in following his own dreams. Though that is debatable at best. Nowadays, they get along well and Coahuila sometimes invite him to parties. Sometimes…
-Louisiana: They chill with each other. Louisiana, although criticizes him on some occasions, think he’s a nice guy. He has helped her in the past and she no doubts never forgot about it, so she helps him whenever she can. They’re also dumbasses together so that’s fun too.
-Minnesota: They’re together! Minnie is like 6’2 so she calls Texas cute for being tiny and he loves and hates it!! They are both tough as nails. For example, Minnie surprised him by beating him on a mechanical bull, Virginia complained about how strong Minnesota was during the Civil War, and Montana always remarks about how Minnie was the only other state who can keep up with her in the World Wars. And Texas is Texas. They are both incredibly sweet in relationships. Minnesota is known for being nice and it’s tru. Texas in relationships is sort of like the Latin Lover, excluding the constant need for uhh bedroom stuff. They are both gentle to each other out of respect and always get each other meaningful gifts. Not to mention the daily reminders of “you’re beautiful” or “you’re my sunshine”, they’re too pURE. They both like similar hobbies such as watching and playing football, taking care of animals, and roasting the hell out of people. Texas helps Minnie into confronting problems and people
Minnie: Idk how to tell them
Texas: It’s easy, I’ll show you how
Texas: Hey New York!
New York: I’m not listening…
Texas: New York!
New York: *looks up*
Texas: I like your shirt but I don’t like you!
She teaches him about considering other’s feelings. Sometimes Texas is too caught up about himself to realize how he’s affecting others around him and she knows this. She reminds him that people that not everyone will understand him emotionally and might take offense. Slowly, Texas thinks more often. Minnesota and Texas also love having adventures together. They would go and snowboard (though Texas has fell off a mountain one time). No matter what they’re doing, they always seem to compliment each other and have fun together.
-Montana: They’re cowboy buddies. I would imagine them talk to each other about animals, particularly horses and cows. Since Montana is also a tough person, she and Texas loves to have small competitions with lifting or who has the most power. He sees her as a buddy and likes to talk to her, which is good because Montana herself has trouble fitting in when all people know about her is just cows and nothingness.
-New Mexico: New Mexico hates him. From what I can remember, Texas tried to claim parts of New Mexico three separate times. The last attempt was the Civil War, and with the attempt to take Santa Fe, New Mexico won’t let it go. Texas doesn’t really care about him nor seem to remember that he even exist. He mostly focuses his rivalry with Oklahoma. Plus, he think New Mexico is a bad driver.
-Oklahoma: They’re rivals. The extent of this rivalry, I’m not too sure and admittedly haven’t delved into much. What I can say is that he always honk his horn at her because she’s a terrible driver. At some point she called him Baja Oklahoma and he cried
-Tennessee: They’re friends. Tennessee is gay for him. So when the Texas Revolution was starting and the US helped out, a good chunk of the people were from Tennessee. So Tennessee helped Texas out wherever he can and that was his first friend from the US. They love to go hunting and talk about guns and stuff. Tennessee really admired him and is glad that he’s consider to be close friends with the big boi of the South. They also play music together and have nice country vibes.
-Wyoming: They’re Yeehaw buddies. They also had a relationship is perhaps early 1900s but I’m not too sure yet.
Things I don’t know how to title but it exists:
-Texas has tattoos of all his state symbols on his arms and back
-They played a “special” game of Truth or Dare. In the end, Texas threw up and vowed to never go to Vegas or hang out with Nevada for 9 months.
-Texas gave some of his friends in the Midwest and South (who aren’t Hispanic mind you) the “spicy” Mexican candies and almost all of them are more cautious about Mexican candies. Plot twist: they’re not spicy at all; they’re just weak
-Yee in the streets, haw in the sheets
-He’s bisexual
Some things about her (development? idk):
Texas has this arrogance that kinda makes it unbearable to work with at times (his closest friends can attest to this). But to be fair, this arrogance would be provoked by someone either messing with his lovely state or someone who’s just curious. Besides that, he is actually pretty charismatic, confident, and charming that attracts people despite his (non intentional) brash behavior. (It’s a joke that he purposefully made Tennessee gay). He’s also intelligent as he’s musically talented, exceeds surprisingly well in mathematics and sciences, and fluent in a couple languages such as English, German, and Vietnamese. He worked hard to be where he is and he can be closed minded in some parts but that’s because he likes to stay relatively the same. He doesn’t like a lot of change; you can say he’s afraid of it and what it might bring because he doesn’t want to lose who he truly is deep down inside. (It’s kinda funny because with this new influx of Californians, he’s stressed and upset at her more than ever).
Some quotes,, things?:
New York: I’m hot shit and that’s the only thing I’ll take away.
Texas: Didn’t you hear her? I’m also hot shit. And that’s the power of the Texan charm ;) Checkmate, liberals.
New York: Yeah well why don’t you shut up.
Texas: You shut up
–
Northern Mariana Islands: *gives everyone a glass shot of tequila*
Everyone: *downs the shot and put their shot glass on the middle of the table*
Delaware: More please!
Ohio: No more please…
Arkansas: What the fuck was that??
Utah: Ugh, that so strong what the heck-
Texas: Can we do this every night?
–
Priest: You may now read the vows you have prepared.
Texas: I think I misunderstood the assignment.
Minnesota: Just read what you wrote, dear.
Texas: Ok *deep breath* A E I O U
–
Texas, drunk: SI YA SABEN COMO ME PONGO PA QUE ME INVITAN???
–
South Dakota: But it’s couples like you that give hope to the rest of us. Minnesota, you deserve the best, and you found it.
Texas, don’t you dare hurt her.
Everyone: *laughs*
Texas: I won’t.
Michigan: Don’t laugh. She means it.
Texas: Okay, I-I won’t
.Nebraska: Seriously, don’t hurt her.
Texas: Okay, I’m not planning on hurting her.
Indiana: You better not be
Texas: I’m not!
Ohio: Hey, Texas, you best be watching yourself
Texas: Why would any of you think I would hurt Minnesota? Y’all my friends too.
Illinois: Nah
–
1945
Tejas, a los otros estados: Me das una úlcera cada vez que me despierto y tengo que venir ‘pa trabajar para ti, para ti!
–
Texas, grabbing a toy police car: Coahuila! Can you buy me this?
Coahuila: No.
Texas: You never buy me anything!
Coahuila: You’re over 300 years old!
–
Texas: Yee in the streets, haw in the sh-
Oklahoma: No.
–
Texas, drunk: You’re so pretty,, are you seeing anyone?
Minnesota: Yeah, I’m married
Texas, crying: To.. to who?
Minnesota: You, you smol idiot *kisses his forehead*
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The degenerate’s guide to college football TV watch ‘em ups, 2019 season, week 1, part 3
Time to kick back and stop writing so much. I’ve earned it. I’m not going through all of my gambling advice to see if I did really awesome. Pretty sure Georgia Tech beat the spread against Clemson. Direct hit! So I am your guru.
Gambles with me and find the worst college football a viewer can find, I says. That’s the best way to live on a Saturday in the fall. Well, close enough.
What is there to say about this slate of games that hasn’t already been said? The schedules are per FBSchedules. The gambling infos are per Vegas Insider. If you lose money that’s on you. If you win money I’ve earned a commission. I’m just going ahead and taking this all the way through Monday because I’m already bored of this season.
Saturday, August 31
Matchup Time (ET) TV/Mobile
South Alabama at 24 Nebraska 12:00pm ESPN
Nebraska is ranked. USA is probably not the team to expose them but that’s a mistake. Scott Frost is going to have to rely on an even lower tier of Florida talent to win in a tougher conference. He’s got believers for now.
Indiana vs. Ball State (in Indianapolis, IN) 12:00pm CBSSN
Indiana is a 17 point favorite. Is that a typo?
Toledo at Kentucky 12:00pm SECN
There are way too many footballs for me to deal with right now. I’m just gonna start listing off winners and throwing out numbers that have nothing to do with betting lines. Kentucky by 4!
University of Mississippi at Memphis 12:00pm ABC
Memphis by 18!
Northern Iowa at 21 Iowa State 12:00pm FS1
I was wrong about David Montgomery! Sort of. I said he wouldn’t go as the first running back and wouldn’t go in the first round. Direct hits!
Indiana State at Kansas 12:00pm FSN
Oh, shit, here we go! I actually stopped to look this one up because of course I’m interested in Les Miles at Kansas. His presence has probably changed this from a pick ‘em to a -4.5 for Kansas. Plus: Kansas is favored! Minus: Indiana State has one good athlete in school history and he played basketball for them 40 years ago. And Kansas is only favored by 4.5.
Mississippi State vs. Louisiana (in New Orleans, LA) 12:00pm ESPNU
Never going to learn which directional LA school goes by Louisiana. Miss State by 1!
Howard at Maryland 12:00pm BTN
Talent usually wins out. Howard by 14.
Florida Atlantic at 5 Ohio State 12:00pm FOX
FAU by 35.
East Carolina at NC State 12:00pm ACCN
NC State by something.
Boise State at Florida State 12:00pm ESPNews
LOL - this was such a good game when it was scheduled. Who would have guessed that neither team would be ranked and it would air as an ACCNe alternate? Boise by 20.
Akron at Illinois 12:00pm BTN
Poor poor Illinois.
James Madison at West Virginia 2:00pm ATTSN
Not sure I’m ready for the next chapter of WFV football, tbch.
Rhode Island at Ohio 2:00pm ESPN+
Is ESPN+ considered a higher tier or lower tier than ESPNNews?
Bucknell at Temple 3:00pm ESPN3
Finally, the Manny Diaz Era kicks off for Temple football.
Eastern Washington at 13 Washington 3:00pm Pac-12N
Jacob Eason is going to get drafted over Jake Fromm. UDub by 58.
Eastern Michigan at Coastal Carolina 3:30pm ESPN+
CCU by 32. Book it.
Georgia State at Tennessee 3:30pm ESPNU
Tennessee still sucks. At least we all have that.
Holy Cross at Navy 3:30pm CBSSN
Navy has been destroyed by injuries the last couple of seasons but maybe they can get some good luck this year and get back to winning 10 and beating Notre Dame? Middies by 600 rushing yards.
ETSU at Appalachian State 3:30pm ESPN+
Appy State by 32.
South Carolina vs. North Carolina (in Charlotte, NC) 3:30pm ESPN
Mack Brown is back in Chapel Hill but there isn’t a lot of talent there. There’s a decent amount of talent at USCe but Coach Boom is still there. Sakerlina by 12.
Duke vs. 2 Alabama (in Atlanta, GA) 3:30pm ABC
Bammers by 64, Tua back in the good graces of Heisman voters.
Colgate at Air Force 3:30pm ESPN3
Toothpaste by 8.
Idaho at 15 Penn State 3:30pm BTN
Idaho self-relegated and rewarded themselves with a trip to Stepford. Penn State is going to win by 80.
Portland State at Arkansas 4:00pm SECN
Virginia Tech at Boston College 4:00pm ACCN
This might be two good teams. I’m not sure.
Northwestern at 25 Stanford 4:00pm FOX
I don’t think I can do any more of this. Let me check back in the morning to see if I want to update the rest of these.
IN THE MEANTIME ENJOY OUR HOLD MUSIC
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Montana State at Texas Tech 4:00pm FSN
Lubbock is less handsome this year but they could be better for it. Montana State by 3.
Campbell at Troy 6:00pm ESPN+
This is a huge rivalry between former frat brothers. Troy by 27.
Incarnate Word at UTSA 6:00pm ESPN3
Isn’t Incarnate Word working towards D-1A or some nonsense? The FKA Cokers are still ESPN3 material, which means they’re better than FSU and Boise State. UTSA by 33.
Sam Houston State at New Mexico 6:00pm MWN
New Mexico is only a 9 point favorite. That seems bad. Sam Houston State Houston Sams with the big upset here. 5 point win, 8-3.
22 Syracuse at Liberty 6:00pm ESPN+
I have no doubt in my mind that Bernie guy actually was a child molester but ESPN’s story was based on a guy saying they had sex when he was like 21 years old. I never understood that. Anyway, you absolutely hate to see Syracuse ranked in any sport. It’s an affront against god and man. Liberty is also an affront against god and man. But at least the Falwell’s pay their young male escorts exceptionally well. Liberty by 12.
UC Davis at California 6:30pm Pac-12N
Berkley vs. Davis. At least one of these starting QBs will be a mid-round prospect next year that some NFL fan base is forced to pretend they’re excited about.
VMI at Marshall 6:30pm Stadium
Marshall by 47.
Monmouth at Western Michigan 7:00pm ESPN3
Monmouth in a blowout, 14-13.
Stephen F. Austin at Baylor 7:00pm ESPN+
As much as I want the Six Million Dollar Men to beat the only athletic program as hateful as Sparty or Penn State, I don’t think they have the bionic powers to do it. Six million dollars isn’t really very much for a football player in Texas.
SMU at Arkansas State 7:00pm ESPN+
Oh, yeah, Arkansas State is the one that’s FBS-level, not Central Arkansas. Oh, well, nothing we can do about that now. Fade SMU and take the over. Whatever that may mean.
Norfolk State at Old Dominion 7:00pm ESPN3
Soon to be the state’s premier football rivalry, no doubt. The ODU #45s are the obvious favorite here. I bet they win by 22 points. So gamble accordingly.
Nicholls at Kansas State 7:00pm ESPN+
The excitement is palpable! Can Les Miles lead his gang of criminals to victory over the world’s premier screenwriting fellowship? YOU COULDN’T WRITE A BETTER UNDERDOG STORY THAN THAT!
Illinois State at NIU 7:00pm ESPN+
Fuck this game. NIU by 3 or so, I guess.
Alcorn State at Southern Miss 7:00pm ESPN+
25 years ago Air McNair II was leading Alcorn State and he should have won a Heisman and I have no other thoughts on this.
Abilene Christian at North Texas 7:30pm ESPN+
Go Spencer’s school! Beat the fucking Christians! I hate Christians!
16 Auburn vs. 11 Oregon (in Arlington, TX) 7:30pm ABC
Oh, this is why they were showing the “for all the Tostitos” game yesterday. Well, my gut tells me the War Eagle Tigers are a better team than the Ducks but that’s just SEC bias, to be honest. Patrick Nix’s kid starts as a true freshman which, if history serves, means he’ll ball out tonight, get progressively worse through the season, get benched at some point, then get humiliated when he comes back as the starter in a rivalry game (the rivalry game in all of college football tbch) and then he’ll show up somewhere else next year with immediate eligibility because he’s not moving for some frivolous reason like his mom is dying and his family’s going bankrupt.
3 Georgia at Vanderbilt 7:30pm ESPN
Vandy got the homefield for this one. Weird opener UGA. But a “tough” conference win in the early going is worth some #1 votes. Georgia by 84.
Georgia Southern at 6 LSU 7:30pm SECN
LSU has the best player in college football this year. Expect him to be injured either this week or next.
Miami (Ohio) at 20 Iowa 7:30pm FS1
Iowa has some shiny NFL prospect on their roster but I forget who it is. Is this where the ePenis plays? Whatever, this game is for the kids. Every Iowa home game is for the kids. Hawkeyes by 23.
Middle Tennessee at 7 Michigan 7:30pm BTN
I have an inexplicable fondness for Jim Harbaugh but I can’t deny the joy I would get from seeing the Wolverines crash and burn in week 1. That’s always fun for everybody.
Missouri at Wyoming 7:30pm CBSSN
Mizzourah by 46.
Virginia at Pitt 7:30pm ACCN
I could have sworn UVA was ranked. Guess not. Pitt is the pits (!!!) so the Hoos should dominate. Virginia by 6.
Louisiana Tech at 10 Texas 8:00pm LHN
Horns at #10 seems dangerous. That’s a bad idea, isn’t it? I’ve got Texas unranked until proven otherwise. And UT losing week 1 would be even funnier than Michigan doing it.
Grambling State at ULM 8:00pm ESPN3
So Monroe isn’t the one that goes by “Louisiana” now.
Houston Baptist at UTEP 8:00pm �� ESPN+
Oh, come on. This game does not need to exist. UTEP -17.5 is probably fine.
UAPB at TCU 8:00pm FSN
TCU is unranked so they’ll go undefeated this year. Arkansas-Pine Box is going to get buried by 50+.
Weber State at San Diego State 9:00pm Facebook
Oh, yeah, here comes the fun stuff. The dumb stuff. Let’s hear it for the Mountain West! What SDSU rusher will capture my heart this season?
Southern Utah at UNLV 10:00pm MWN
Last home opener at Sam Boyd Stadium, a place hated by all who ever visited it. I am not in that number yet but when it cools down I might feel compelled.
New Mexico State at 23 Washington State 10:00pm Pac-12N
The very heart of Pac after darkness. Mike Leach has a new QB. Now what? Wazzou will still score but they will probably go back to stopping nobody. A year further removed from Alex Grinch is not going to help.
Fresno State at USC 10:30pm ESPN
USC had a real solid opportunity to fire Clay Helton but didn’t because it would have been too expensive. Think about how stupid that is. Go (CS)FSU.
Sunday, September 1
Matchup Time (ET) TV/Mobile
Houston at 4 Oklahoma 7:30pm ABC
Holgo to Houston feels like a circle is being completed somehow. Will the ghost of Jack Pardee smile down on the Cougs? D’Eriq King could go a long way towards becoming a national name with any sort of highlights in this one and, remember, Oklahoma’s defense has been remarkably bad the last several seasons. The o/u for this game is 83! Houston plus the points, baby, do it!
Monday, September 2
Matchup Time (ET) TV/Mobile
9 Notre Dame at Louisville 8:00pm ESPN
Brian Kelly really got a kid killed and the university paid his way out of it and he’s still coaching there and they’ll probably win 10+ games again this year. What a terrible world we live in.
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THE BEGINNING OF US by Christina Emery - RELEASE LAUNCH
The people we love are often those who could cost us everything. For Detective Chase Guilliot, coveting a gangster’s girlfriend might just cost him his life. After months of staring at surveillance photos, Chase feels like he knows Shelby Brignac, the breathtaking beauty who’s found herself in his target’s bed. From everything he’s seen, Shelby doesn’t look like a stupid woman, but when she walks into his precinct to sell out a career criminal, Chase has to wonder. She’s either going to be the key to his case or the end of his career. Not that it matters since he’s tasked with keeping her alive. Whether she wants him to or not. The Beginning of Us (originally titled The Switch) is the second book in the Men with Badges series about sweet and sexy alphas who know what they want and go after it. ADD TO GOODREADS
CHASE
Shelby gives me the out I need to end this. I’m not delusional or stupid. It’s not like I think I’m in love with the girl or that I want to marry her. I’m infatuated, sure, but that was bound to happen after spending so much time watching her every move. She’s hot and she keeps throwing out the signals, and normally I’d be all over it. She’s got this smoking bod—I’m talking from her head down to the chipped nail polish on her toes, but she’s also a hot mess who might be facing serious time in a federal prison. Shelby Brignac is exactly the kind girl I’d meet in a bar, hook up with, and maybe even take out on a date. But we didn’t meet in a bar. No, we met when I was undercover and she was committing a fucking felony. And at one point, before I became a cop, that might have sounded exciting.Now, though, I have bills to pay, and at some point I’d like to even be able to buy a house. Maybe even get a dog or two. Getting kicked off the force and blowing my chances at Quantico because I couldn’t keep it in my pants is going to land me working mall security. And no matter how hot she is, how naked, and how bad I want to yank that blanket off her smooth skin, it’s not bad enough to fuck up the future I just barely got a taste of.“Why do you want this?” My voice sounds foreign to my own ears—rough and gravelly, with a slight pitch. I practically sound desperate. Maybe I am. Maybe I do want her enough to risk my future for her.I trust this woman more than I should. I have to remind myself that I don’t know her the way I feel like I do. Watching her the past few months has been some of the best and worst times of my life. She’s beautiful and smart and loving. She gives people the benefit of the doubt and cares more about what people think than she should. How she convinced herself a guy like Victor Abraham was good enough for her, I’ll never know. Still, I don’t really know her. And she was dating a man who’s wanted by literally every federal agency in the US and is slick enough to have a clean record. I’ve been on the force long enough to know that people can be loving and thoughtful and still be ruthless criminals. No matter the face this woman is showing me now, I have to keep my guard up and not let myself confuse the fantasy I’ve built up in my head with the reality of who she might very well be.I use my free hand to find a place to put my ass on the edge of the couch and I sit down. I keep my face close to Shelby’s, my hand ensuring she doesn’t create a distance between us, and I stroke my thumb just below the line of her jaw. She sucks in a breath, which excites me. I’ve been wanting to do this for months. Ever since she first turned up in the investigation. The thought that my simple touch sends shivers down her spine and sends her heart racing has me at half-mast. Seeing her reaction to my touch weakens my resolve, and for a split second, I let myself get sucked in.“You’re good,” she whispers after a long pause. She speaks so quietly I can barely hear the words. “I’m not used to good, but I like it. I want more of it.”I’ve given this woman more of myself than I had intended, and she’s given me practically nothing. Sure, I know things about her, but I don’t want to know them because I was watching her. I want to know them because she wants to share them with me. I need her to trust me enough to share things with me, especially because I suspect she’s in deeper with Abraham’s organization than she’s let on. The feds are looking to make an example out of her, despite the fact that her father’s the one who tipped them off to what she was doing. The only way I can save her and keep her out of jail is if she tells me how deep she’s really in this. Unfortunately, judging by the stubborn set of her jaw, I don’t think she’s just going to offer up what I want to know. All I want to do is save this stupid, beautiful girl and I already know that she’s not going to let me.
Purchase The Beginning Of Us by clicking the Amazon link below. AMAZON
Brave heroes. Bold heroines. Extraordinary loves. Christina Emery is the real-life alter-ego of dark contemporary romance author, JC Emery. While JC geeks out researching blood splatter patterns and assault rifles, Christina is a die-heard romantic who gets choked up while watching commercials, but sshhh– that’s a secret. Still searching for her very own hero, Christina spends her time creating men she wishes were real and heroines she envies. A Northern California native, Christina has an impressive collection of flip flops, but shelves them in the winter so she can build as many snowmen as possible from her home in Southwestern Illinois. Christina is the author of the Men with Badges series– standalone contemporary romances about sexy lawmen who know what they want and go after it. FACEBOOK FAN GROUP | Website | Facebook | Twitter **
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Cancellation Saturday: Degenerate’ guide to college football tv watch ‘em ups for week 3, 2018 season
We’re slowly creeping our way to actual competitions. I don’t want to pretend that matters much to me in the early season. I like the college football version of preseason.
This list of games is ripped from a site that may or may not have updated their schedule for the hurricane. Guess we’ll all find out together!
Saturday, September 15
Matchup Time (ET) TV/Mobile
Ball State at Indiana 12:00pm BTN
My watching has regressed this season to the point where I couldn’t tell you if there’s even one NFL prospect in this game. Indiana usually has at least one so, uh, keep an eye on that.
Florida State at Syracuse 12:00pm ABC/ESPN/2/U
Last I checked FSU was a somewhat dodgy 3-point favorite. This is not because Syracuse has gotten better.
Hawaii at Army 12:00pm CBSSN
Is the Cole McDonald magic a season-long phenomenon or is it just a fluke offense doing the work for him? Beating Army won’t prove he’s good but losing might prove he’s a fluke.
Kent State at Penn State 12:00pm FS1
I put a Penn State guy in the RTARLsman rankings in the obvious hope that they lose to Kent State.
Miami (FL) at Toledo 12:00pm ABC/ESPN/2/U
The consensus among professional gamblers is that Toledo +10.5 is easy money. The “objective” rankings on SB Nation actually have Toledo ranked higher than Miami. Miami’s offensive line is trying to get Malik Rosier killed and Ahmmon Richards is out with an “injury” sustained while yelling at Rosier in the locker room. Canes by 50.
Murray State at Kentucky 12:00pm SECNA
Kentucky broke their losing steak to Florida so it would be quite fitting if they lose today.
Oklahoma at Iowa State 12:00pm ABC/ESPN/2/U
This would be so much more appealing to me if Rodney Anderson hadn’t torn his ACL. As it stands it’s probably a good matchup that could turn into a dogfight but I don’t plan on watching any of it.
Rhode Island at UConn 12:00pm SNY/ESPN3
UConn’s program is about the same as Kansas’s program.
Rutgers at Kansas 12:00pm FSN
Rutgers may very well be back on the Kansas level, too.
Temple at Maryland 12:00pm BTN
I understand the way the early results have gone but Maryland -16 still sounds crazy to me. Go Owls, in any case.
Troy at Nebraska 12:00pm BTN
Here’s a fun statement that can be more or less objectively quantified to be true: Scott Frost inherited a better roster at UCF than the roster he inherited this year at Nebraska. To wit: this year’s UCF seniors were all there before he signed on to coach them.
Tulane at UAB 12:00pm Facebook
I know I’ve been telling UAB to drop football again but this is kind of a beauty. Damn facebook to hell, though.
UCF at North Carolina 12:00pm ABC/ESPN/2/U
I’m pretty sure this game is at least postponed?
East Carolina at Virginia Tech 12:20pm ACCN
ECU is back to non-cupcake status now. Maybe. They killed UNC last week. Maybe that isn’t proof of anything.
Georgia Tech at Pitt 12:30pm RSN
A game between two teams that should have won last week.
UC Davis at Stanford 2:00pm Pac-12N
On the one hand Stanford should score 100 against UC Davis. On the other hand David Shaw isn’t a big fan of scoring 30 or more points.
Vanderbilt at Notre Dame 2:30pm NBC
A game between rape-apologist program where nobody wins unless Brian Kelly dies.
Ohio at Virginia 3:00pm ACCNExtra
ACCNE extra getting off to a late start today. UVA is a 5.5 point-and-dropping favorite as I write this. I don’t know about the points but the O/U has gone up by 6.5 which seems odd.
Boise State at Oklahoma State 3:30pm ABC/ESPN/2/U
Brett Rypien has escaped his timeshare and is now a contender to go in the 1st round next year. That still seems a little high to me but he does have a ver similar gun to his dad. Who was either undrafted or like a 12th round pick and took about 5 years to develop into an NFL starter.
BYU at Wisconsin 3:30pm ABC/ESPN/2
Hornibrook is going to win the Heisman. I don’t like it much more than you. I’m lying. I fucking love it. All he needs to do is rack up 13 QB wins by the time voting is closed.
Central Michigan at NIU 3:30pm ESPN Plus
I don’t do MACtion but there are a few NFL prospects in this game.
Duke at Baylor 3:30pm FS1
A true conundrum.
Georgia Southern at Clemson 3:30pm ABC/ESPN/2/U
Tune in early if you want to see the guys you’ve heard of.
Lehigh at Navy 3:30pm CBSSN
Navy hasn’t looked great so far this year but this is a trash game so maybe they can work out the kinks here?
LSU at Auburn 3:30pm CBS
Whoever wins this gets to be wildly overrated for the rest of the season.
Miami (Ohio) at Minnesota 3:30pm BTN
Minnesota -13 don’t make no kind of damn sense.
SMU at Michigan 3:30pm BTN
If Harbaugh doesn’t beat the spread I might join the pitchforks.
Southern Miss at Appalachian State 3:30pm ESPN Plus
App State deserves to lose every game for the way they blew a sure victory over Penn State.
USF at Illinois 3:30pm BTN
I feel like Illinois should have good recruiting grounds but they’ve had like 5 decent seasons in my lifetime.
West Virginia at NC State 3:30pm ABC/ESPN/2/U
Pretty sure this is not happening today.
Colorado State at Florida 4:00pm SECN
The McElwain Game! He’s gone and already mostly forgotten, which is a shame because of that one time he humped a shark.
Eastern Kentucky at Bowling Green 4:00pm ESPN3
Not the best use of your time but my whole point is to talk you into watching every single game so watch this and report back. Wait, ESPN3 still exists? I thought it was ESPN+ now. They’re different things?
Houston at Texas Tech 4:00pm FOX
Texas Tech throws early, often, and poorly. If Ed Oliver is going to get an eye catching number of sacks for the year this game is the key.
North Texas at Arkansas 4:00pm SECNA
This is a classic SEC out of conference game.
UTSA at Kansas State 4:00pm FSN
The Bill Snyder magic may in fact be gone. Take UTSA +21.5 in my honest opinion.
Wofford at Wyoming 4:00pm MWN
I actually like Wyoming’s stupid uniforms for what little it’s worth.
New Hampshire at Colorado 5:00pm P12N MTN
This is a pretty bad week overall.
San Jose State at Oregon 5:00pm Pac-12N
I’ve got to tune in to see Justin Herbert but he might get pulled before the end of the 1st quarter.
Bethune-Cookman at Florida Atlantic 6:00pm Stadium
There are people in the world who really believe that Lane Kiffin deserves a high level D-1A job. That’s a pretty bad idea.
Eastern Michigan at Buffalo 6:00pm ESPN Plus
Give Tyree Jackson a shot. I love the velocity he puts on his throws even if his WRs are horrible and drop most of them.
Idaho State at California 6:00pm P12N BAY
Idaho State’s first year back in 1-AA has featured 3 games against 1-A teams to start the series.
Old Dominion at Charlotte 6:00pm ESPN3
This is crap all the way through.
Alabama at University of Mississippi 7:00pm ESPN
Bama’s weakness if they have one is the inexperienced secondary. Mississippi’s strength is 4 top-50 level pass catching prospects. The Tide should roll anyway but I won’t be that surprised if Mississippi makes a game of it.
Alabama A&M at Cincinnati 7:00pm ESPN3
A very evenly matched watch ‘em up.
Arkansas State at Tulsa 7:00pm CBSSN
This is the kind of stupid game that I write these posts for. Of course it’s on CBS Sports.
Campbell at Coastal Carolina 7:00pm ESPN3
What the shit is this crap?
Delaware State at Western Michigan 7:00pm ESPN Plus
And this?
Oregon State at Nevada 7:00pm ESPN3
And this, too, really but there is a little bit of a soft spot in my heart for Nevada as the birthplace of the pistol.
Texas State at South Alabama 7:00pm ESPN Plus
Explosive matchup of two teams that grab 1-star recruits in states where starting for a full season in high school gets you 3 stars.
Middle Tennessee at Georgia 7:15pm ESPN2
MTSU is a relatively good OOC matchup for an SEC team but we’re now in a Georgia age of college football and MTSU is going to be slaughtered.
Akron at Northwestern 7:30pm BTN
MAC is the minor league version of Big XII ball. I can’t believe y’all watch this shit. Oh, right, Northwestern is actually a B1G team. Close enough.
Louisiana at Mississippi State 7:30pm SECNA
If the “State” was on the other side of the vs. this would be a great game. In real life it is not going to be a great game.
Marshall at South Carolina 7:30pm ESPNU
How has Marshall looked this year so far?
Missouri at Purdue 7:30pm BTN
Mizzou at Purdue is fun to say. Drew Lock is pretty good but I have the Missouri offense.
Northern Iowa at Iowa 7:30pm BTN
Do it for the kids UNI!
ULM at Texas A&M 7:30pm SECN
This might get a spot in the rotation. I’m kind of intrigued by aTm under Jimbo Fisher. I don’t think I have any expectations for him.
UMass at FIU 7:30pm beIN SPORTS
Come on, Butch, get this Panther ship righted!
WKU at Louisville 7:30pm RSN
Petrino Bowl! This might actually be a pretty good game. Louisville kind of sucks this year.
Eastern Washington at Washington State 8:00pm Pac-12N
There’s something weird about this game but I forget what it is. So keep that in mind.
New Mexico at New Mexico State 8:00pm AggieVision
The winner gets to be New Mexico State for the next 12 months. The loser has to be regular New Mexico.
Ohio State at TCU 8:00pm ABC
I’ve been feeling the Dwayne Haskins hype and it either goes through the roof after this one or Urban Meyer will have to play savior when he comes back next week.
USC at Texas 8:00pm FOX
Great brand name matchup of secretly (or not) bad coaches. USC has a great freshman QB and Texas has really nice uniforms. The rest of this is garbage.
Washington at Utah 10:00pm ESPN
The weird front-loaded schedule rolls on for the Pac-12. This would be an incredible game in November. It’s very odd in September.
Arizona State at San Diego State 10:30pm CBSSN
Herm Edwards is really good, guys! He’s got his team ranked! He’s going to get blown out by SDSU!
Fresno State at UCLA 10:30pm FS1
At least a little bit interesting. I’ve got a good feeling about Chip Kelly at UCLA but he’s got a lot of building to do. I think it’s worth watching him flail around trying to find his way.
Southern Utah at Arizona 11:00pm Pac-12N
When will Kevin Sumlin and Khalil Tate get on the same page? Probably never but they should win this game by 80.
Prairie View A&M at UNLV 10:00pm MWN
I went through and did the formatting and started up from the bottom and now I see the times are really fucked. At least a little. This is an objectively bad game. But I do like UNLV’s QB.
UTEP at Tennessee 12:00pm SECN
Not sure what’s going on here. It’s the last game listed but it says 12pm and it’s in Tennessee. But I can see the reasoning behind scheduling this at midnight to minimize the chances of somebody randomly stumbling upon it and accidentally watching a couple of minutes of it.
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