#I’m lucky to get over 10
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kamalemons · 6 days ago
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ok tbh I’ve been in a bit of a slump lately. like I dunno maybe this is just like. January+no sun for a week but like. Would baking fix me
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fading-event-608 · 2 months ago
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It’s thanksgiving in us and black Friday tomorrow. I do not participate in either, and I hope you do not too. But if you do, I want to remind you that there haven’t been a safe day in Gaza for over a year. For this thanksgiving many in Gaza would be lucky to be warm or sated, and I'm not even going to talk about safety. Falastin’s family (and many more) will be thankful to have ANYTHING on the table today, and with the current rates of donations they will, and I promise I’m not over exaggerating, freeze or starve to death.
Her family has endured more than 50 displacements now and has had many family members martyred since last October. They wanted to buy another tent and waterproof materials in September* but they didn’t get enough donations (they are forced to spend what they have on food) and now they are starving. 
Last time the campaign met the daily goal of 500 USD was 22 days ago - a goal that was meant to be a stepping stone. And this week they didn't even raise 400 USD so far. If you are not familiar with prices in Gaza or Falastin’s campaign you may think that it’s a lot, but it’s very far from the truth. Prices in Gaza are still rising, aid is getting sparser (just like the world's attention to Palestine) and they need all the help they can get to feed 26 people. Even 1 or 5 dollars can help since it will push the campaign up in the algorithm on gofundme.
Donate via Gofundme (in SEK! check rates below please): LINK
$5 CAD = kr39 SEK $5 USD = kr55 SEK €5 = kr57 SEK $10 CAD = kr78 SEK $10 USD = kr109 SEK €10 = kr115 SEK $25 CAD = kr195 SEK $25 USD = kr274 SEK €25 = kr289 SEK $50 CAD = kr390 SEK $50 USD = kr547 SEK €50 = kr577 SEK $100 CAD = kr780 SEK $100 USD = kr1,094 SEK €100 = kr1,155 SEK
Donate via PayPal (in USD): LINK
Incentives:
raffle for a hand-made Palestinian thob LINK (from 50 USD)
commissions from me (from 15 USD) - LINK for an example.
Please match/up my donation from 3 days ago if you can.
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Vetting info: #282 in El-Shab-Hussein and Nabulsi's spreadsheet [here], #957 in the Butterfly Project spreadsheet [here]
Falastin's account - please visit and reblog.
*the post says 24 family members but on oct 6th this year Falstin's cousin was martyred and his 2 orphaned children are now in their care.
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eff4freddie · 2 months ago
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Sittin'
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Joel Miller x F!Babysitter Reader No outbreak Joel Miller AU - Words: 10k
Rating: Explicit, Minors DNI
You're working your way through medical school, supporting yourself by taking the occasional babysitting gig. One local single Dad needs someone to look after his 10 year old daughter Sarah on nights when he's late back from the jobsite. And it's all fine and good until your neglectful boyfriend decides to crash the party. Warnings: small age gap (Joel is 32, reader is in medical school), reader is babysitting Sarah as a side hustle to support her studies, Sarah is cute, reader has a shit boyfriend, Joel is trying really hard to resist, exhibitionism, thigh-riding, praise, dirty talk, thigh-humping, oral (f receiving), fingering, general defiling of a perfectly good granite countertop, Joel has opinions about how a woman should be treated as is not afraid to demonstrate them.
A/N: My attempts at writing PWP almost always end up like 10k lol. Whatever, I like a good slow burn. If you enjoy, comments and reblogs are always appreciated. Thank you - Freddie x
It was a hot night, the latest in a long line. You knew you were lucky getting to spend some of your evenings over at the Millers, simply because it meant you got to sit under Mr Miller’s air conditioner, the box wedged firm into the window in the living room, little droplets of water condensing and running down the pane of glass underneath it. You’d put a dishtowel down to protect the carpet.
You knew you were lucky, too, because once Sarah went off to bed you could spread your books over Mr Miller’s kitchen table, listening to the buzzing of the fridge as you tried to memorise the functions of the lobes in the brain. In class, your biomedicine professor had blown up balloons and handed out sharpies, inviting her students to draw the lobes in the right place, and yours had popped when you pressed too hard on the occipital lobe, and your lab partner had laughed and said that it was ironic, but you couldn’t figure it: the motor cortex would have been ironic, this was just startling.
You cracked your neck, rolling your shoulders and looking over to the clock on the wall. Nearly 10:30 PM. Mr Miller would be coming back soon.
Sarah was a good kid, and some nights she stayed up to ‘help’ you study, mostly by pointing to pictures in your textbooks and asking you to explain them to her. She’d hated the full-page coloured illustration of the eye, but had been fascinated by the heart, trailing her finger along the arteries, into the chambers, tracing the pathway in and out again. You’d make a cardiologist of her, yet.
Tonight, she’d only made it to twenty minutes past eight, her eyes growing heavy as she turned the pages of your book. This one didn’t have as many pictures, and you could sense her fatigue in the stuffy air.
‘What kind of doctor do you want to be?’ she’d asked, and you’d pulled your hair up off your neck to try and get some air on your skin. You weren’t sure how to explain it without sounding gruesome, without giving her nightmares. She was only 10.
‘When people have emergencies and they have to go to the hospital right away, they need to see a doctor to patch them back up again…’ you’d said, and she’d stared at you with a tiresome expression on her face.
‘I’m not a baby,’ she said, disapproving. You smiled at her.
‘Trauma surgeon,’ you replied. She nodded her head, deeming your answer satisfactory, and taking herself up the stairs to bed.
She was one of the easiest kids you’d ever babysat for, and over the years you’d racked up quite a roster. You’d started in high school, first saving up enough for the prom dress right in the storefront window, and then later keeping yourself fed during your undergrad. When you’d moved to Austin you’d rented a studio apartment in the back garden of a little old lady, a woman who had revealed herself to be an excellent cook if militant about her hydrangeas. You’d letterboxed the neighbourhood and picked up a few odd jobs but nothing lasting, until the evening you’d got a call from a very frantic Mr Miller, who was so beside himself he only asked how quick you could get there and didn’t even ask about your rates.
It turned out Mr Miller got caught up at the jobsite some nights, staying back later than he expected with his little brother to finish framing, or guttering, or wiring. He was running out of favours with his neighbours, he’d explained, and Sarah was still too little to feed herself. You hadn’t minded, his deep southern drawl doing something to you even over the phone, such that you found yourself cancelling plans just to go and sit on his couch that very evening, textbook over your knees.
Some nights with Sarah tucked up fast asleep you’d stand and stare at the pictures of the two of them, her holding up a soccer trophy nearly twice her size, him standing with his hand in his pocket, his other over the shoulders of a younger man you assumed was Tommy. If you were feeling particularly bold, or were procrastinating especially hard, you’d extend a finger and run them up and down the strings of Joel’s guitar, resting sentinel against the windowsill. You imagined his fingers pushing into the fretboard, the strings indenting the flesh.
It wasn’t even that he was handsome, although he definitely was. He was a young father, doing it almost entirely alone, and on any other man that would have made for grumpy, for overly tired, for entitled. On Mr Miller it made for kindness, for a nurturing type of strength, corded tight under his skin. For a single dad always thinking about his daughter, only ever wanting the best for her. For a man focussed on doing right for his family, small as it was.
You rolled your shoulders, the pre-frontal cortex just about beating you for the night. Just as you were wondering if the Millers kept any ice cream in the freezer, you heard the key in the front door. You listened as Joel followed the same routine, first toeing off his boots, letting out a little grunt as the second one hit the floor. You heard him huff as he stretched his back, rolling his hips in a little circle to try and get some stretch into them, before dropping his keys on the table and padding, surprisingly light on his socked feet, into the kitchen.
‘Hey, Sweetheart,’ he said, his pet name for you emerging on only the second time you’d sat for him and still, even after this many months, causing your stomach to do a little flipper.
‘Evening, Mr Miller,’ you said, and he tutted at you, moving over to the fridge and extracting a beer.
‘Told ya not to call me that,’ he muttered, but you could see the grin behind it. ‘How was my girl tonight?’
‘Perfect, as always,’ you said, smiling at him as he poured you a glass of sweet tea from the jug in the fridge without bothering to ask if you wanted any. You accepted it gratefully, suddenly noticing how dry your throat had become.
‘She’s a good kid,’ he said. He sat down, heavy, in the chair opposite you. The ceiling lamp buzzed above you both, and the light bounced off the fine sheen of sweat accumulating on his arms, on his cheeks. He glowed, even if it was under a layer of exhaustion.
‘You look tired, Mr Miller,’ you said, and he cocked a little grin.
‘You sayin’ I look like shit, Sweetheart?’ he asked.
‘No, never,’ you said, instantly regretting how quickly, how fervently, you had responded. He continued to grin at you, lopsided, the dimple on his right cheek popping out to greet you.
‘What is it tonight?’ he asked, and you held up your book to him. ‘The bio-mech-an-ics-of-thought: phys-ee-ol-o-gee of the brain,’ he intoned, before letting out a low whistle. ‘I don’t know how you do it,’ he said.
‘It’s interesting,’ you defended, unsure why. ‘So long as there are diagrams,’ you added.
‘So that’s where the magic happens?’ he asked, gesturing to the illustrated image of the brain in the centre of the page you had been working from.
‘This is where thought happens,’ you nodded. ‘Kind of like…where decisions are made.’
‘Must be a woman’s brain,’ Joel deadpanned, taking a swig of his beer. ‘Can guarantee men make their decisions someplace else.’
You caught a glimpse of something dark in his eyes as he glanced over you. You blushed, swearing it was just the heat, and furious with yourself. This wasn’t like you; you weren’t some shrinking violet type. You’d had boyfriends, you’d had fun in college. You had no idea what it was about Mr Miller that made you immediately go all giggly, all girly, but whatever it was you wished it would fuck off.
The two of you lapsed into a comfortable silence. You were used to this from him, the way his mind seemed to drift, the way he seemed content enough to let it. Gently, so as not to jolt him out of his thoughts, you closed your book, gathered your pens together. Everything tucked away in your bag you were surprised when you looked up to see he was watching you.
‘Apparently Sarah’s taken an interest in science,’ he said after a moment, his warm eyes watching yours for a second. You felt a tingle of pride in your chest.
‘Oh yeah?’ you asked.
‘Mmhmm, apparently after she pushed Simon Strzelecki off the monkey bars, she offered to patch him up again.’
You grinned before you were able to catch yourself.
‘That’s…very, umm…’ you trailed off and he huffed out a little laugh.
‘It’s very Sarah,’ he agreed.
‘M’sorry, Mr Miller…’ you started, but Joel stood up, waving you off.
‘Don’t be, Strzelecki’s a little shit’f the highest order,’ he said. ‘You gonna let me give ya a lift this time?’ he asked, and this time you shook your head at him.
‘No, I can walk it.’
‘Y’know I don’t like ya walkin’ around out there on yer’own,’ he grumbled, and you felt the insane urge to reach your hand out to rest on his bicep, to ease his evident discomfort.
‘I can handle it,’ you said, instead.
Something stole over his face for a moment, a sharpness in his eyes. For a moment you gazed up at him, the furrow in his brow deepening, the muscles in his jaw twitching as his eyes roamed over your face. Standing this close to him you were reminded how tall, how broad he really was. You dropped your eyes to his arms, crossed over his chest, and imagined him holding you with them, circling them around your back as you leant, safe, into his skin. You blinked yourself back to reality, worried for a second he could read your thoughts.
‘Know you can handle it,’ he said, his voice low, ‘just don’t like it, is all.’
You did this every time, this stand-off. You worried one night you would waver.
‘G’night, Mr Miller,’ you said, over dry lips. He nodded, once, at you, still evidently displeased something dark, something haunted, passing over his features before he brought them back into line.
He stood on the front porch, light still on, until you rounded his driveway and disappeared past the oak tree by the front lawn.
--
Mick was a guy from your Tuesday morning bio class, and you only realised he was your boyfriend when he introduced you to a few of his friends that way. You’d just gone with it, because it had seemed easier, and he was nice if a little full of himself at times. He was the son of the one the big ranching families, had been almost guaranteed a position at whatever college he chose on the day of his birth, hadn’t ever really considered that money was something you saved, something you worked for.
But he would never let you pay for dinner, and often he showed up to class holding a coffee just for you. You’d been on your own for a long time, had been self-sufficient well before you had any business to, and it was kind of nice to let yourself be cared for, if that’s what this was.
On nights when you had to work he would pout and complain, and you told yourself it was because he cared about you, because he wanted you around, even if some part of you knew he just didn’t like to be alone. Every once and while he would ask if he could come with you, ‘feel you up on the couch like it’s eighth grade’, and it made you feel exactly fourteen years old, like this was a summer job you had failed to grow out of. It didn’t help that he more than once referred to your sitting job as ‘cute’. His mother had stayed at home the moment she fell pregnant with Mick’s older brother, and as far as you could tell was yet to leave. You never asked about a future with Mick, terrified of what kind of picture he would paint.
On one such evening, after he’d been particularly insistent that you blow off your job and come and hang out with him and his friends, he’d starting blowing up your phone just as Mr Miller sat down beside you, weary-boned and sleepy-eyed, at his kitchen table.
You ignored the calls, tried to carry on reading even as Mr Miller arched his brow at your insistently vibrating device. You huffed, knowing at some point Mick would get bored.
‘You’re popular tonight?’ Joel prompted after a while, making you lose your place in the paragraph you’d read over at least ten times already.
You huffed out a sigh, reaching out and scrolling through the stream of notifications. He’d started texting, sometimes just sending a single emoji, sometimes entire paragraphs about how badly you were letting him down. You felt an ache bloom behind your right eye socket, and you reached up to your temple to try and massage it away.
‘It’s my boyfriend,’ you told him, and with your eyes still closed you didn’t see him scowl. ‘He wants me to come out to some bar with him and his drunk friends.’
Joel considered this for a long moment. When you opened your eyes they blurred under the sudden light, and you blinked away sleep to see him clearly again.
‘You should be out with your friends, it’s a Friday night…’ he said, almost looking guilty for a moment, and you rushed to reassure him.
‘No, no trust me…this is better. They’re boring when they’re drunk. And also when they’re sober.’
Joel smiled, straining just slightly, at this.
‘He a good man?’ he asked, and you scoffed a little.
‘He’s barely a man at all,’ you said, automatically. Later you’d reflect on this moment, feel it turn you inside out and scold your skin with the heat of your own shame. For now, though, you were too tired, and it was too hot in the kitchen, for you to catch it.
Joel caught it, though. He cleared his throat.
‘We met at college, and he’s…well, he’s kind of set up for life. He doesn’t have to worry about grades, or proving himself. He’s almost guaranteed his residency.’ You were aware you were starting to sound bitter, and maybe you were just a little. Something about Mr Miller, sitting at his kitchen table late in the evening with a beer, muscles wrapped in a plaid, his soft brown eyes watching you carefully, made you think he’d understand.
‘He doesn’t make you feel good enough for him?’ he asked, after a while.
You considered this, eventually shrugging your shoulders. ‘I don’t know if he makes me feel anything,’ you said, truthfully.
Joel leaned forward, elbows on the table, his chin resting in his hand as he watched you, gazed at your face.
‘What do you want him to make you feel?’ he asked.
‘Seen,’ you said, without hesitation.
‘Just seen?’ he asked. His voice was deathly quiet now, almost entirely gravel. His eyes were burning, sharp. You watched as they darkened, stealing your breath out from under you.
‘Desired,’ you almost whispered. He dropped a hand to the table, his fingertips only inches from yours, resting casual on your textbook.
‘What man’s out there runnin’ round this town not desirin’ you?’ he asked, almost as though he couldn’t believe it, and you felt scorching heat on your cheeks, rushing down your sternum, pooling heavy in your core.
You blinked, terrified to move in case you broke whatever spell had befallen him. He turned thoughtful, his eyes dropping to the woodgrain of the table.
‘Y’been working a lot here…can’t imagine hanging out with me and a ten-year-old girl is the same as bein’ out there, living your youth…’
You felt something heavy shift in your belly, something essential curdle and erode.
‘I like it here, Mr Miller,’ you said, all big eyes and almost quivering lower lip. Joel moved away, sitting up straight and peeling the label off his beer.
‘Pretty thing like you, shouldn’t be spendin’ all night waitin’ on us,’ he said, almost to himself. You shook your head again, but he was closing off on you, you could see it in the way his shoulders were folding, the way his mouth was tugging down at the corners.
Without even considering it, operating almost entirely on instinct, you reached your hand out to rest on his bicep. You watched as his eyes drifted close, a long exhale through his nose. He grimaced, almost like you were hurting him, until he lifted his hand and held yours fast to him, wrapping his paw around you.
‘I really love spending time with Sarah,’ you said, just over a whisper, as he stared hard at the table. You could sense he was avoiding your gaze, and you wanted to say something to draw him to you, wanted to give him a little nugget of truth that he could take into himself, hold deep and quiet in his depths. ‘I love spending time with you,’ you said.
He raised his eyes to yours. His hand was so warm over yours, your cheeks so pink in the sleepless heat of the late evening. You saw his eyes fall to your lips and you slipped your hand from under his, reaching up to trace the contours of his jaw with your fingertips.
‘Baby…’ he whispered, ‘I been’ resistin’ you so long, don’t know if I can…’ and you pushed a finger to his lips. You didn’t want him to break whatever spell you were both suddenly under. Didn’t want him to take this from you both, whatever it was turning out to be.
‘Don’t argue,’ you instructed, quietly. With brows saddled, he nodded his head.
And he didn’t argue. Not when you moved your finger from his lips and traced it down over the hollow of his neck, over to his pulse where it thundered under your tough.
Didn’t argue when you leant forward, pressing your nose to his, giving him time to pull away, to move from your lips.
Didn’t argue when you pressed them to his, a little soft and quiet thing, earning you a wanting gasp from him, a prize you would hold in the cavity of your chest so long as your heart stayed beating.
Later, when you had gathered yourselves, when he had gazed at you and you had felt the want in him mixing with the regret, with the necessity of the un-having corrupting the want to take and take and take, you had simply gathered your books, tucking them quiet and neat into the bag at your feet. He didn’t argue with you about driving you home that night, suddenly quiet in a way that set your teeth on edge, and you felt an ache in your belly you couldn’t account for when he closed the door. You waited behind the trunk of the tree at the end of his driveway, counting the minutes he left the light on for you after you’d slipped from view, giving up when you got past 15.
--
You were unsettled. Joel hadn’t called for two weeks, and you were starting to worry that you’d ruined things, your silly little kiss bubbling corrosive at the base of your spine. You couldn’t help going over the whole evening again and again in your head.
You should have told him you preferred spending the nights at his house, that the way it smelt like play-dough and sometimes sawdust, sometimes pine, was so unique to the both of them that you felt your nerves settle the moment you stepped over the threshold. That the house was warm and quiet, that you could spread out your books and something essential to you, that in this space with them you felt more yourself than anywhere else on the planet, even locked away in your little studio apartment, even just you and your reflection in the bathroom mirror.
You wanted to tell him Sarah was funny, and smart, and kind, and being around her made you nostalgic for the childhood you never had but ached for, that you felt all that time with her she was giving you something precious and absent, something simple and something sweet. That there were nights you weren’t sure who was sitting who.
You wanted to tell him you didn’t expect anything from him, that it didn’t matter to you if nothing ever happened, if he regretted letting you kiss him, if it had just been that it was too awkward in the moment to say no. Just that you wanted to keep sitting for him, just that if all you got was a casual conversation at the end of the evening and an argument about driving home that would be enough for you, because it would have to be, and so you could make it so.
You begged off seeing Mick for the second Friday night in a row, wanting to be available in case Joel called. You felt silly but you could use the cash. Your textbooks were $400 a piece, and next semester you were taking three classes. Just feeding yourself was enough to stop your studies in their tracks.
Two things happened in the span of ten minutes. A knock at your door stirred you from your lecture notes, and your phone rang. By the time you had it in your hand you were holding Mick back from your face, your palm to his chest, as you craned your neck away from him to speak.
‘M’sorry, Sweetheart, it’s just…I know, it’s a Friday…’
‘It’s fine, Mr Miller,’ you said, ignoring the way Mick was making smoochy faces over your shoulder. ‘I don’t have any plans.’
When you got off the phone Mick was pouting again, and you sighed.
‘I thought I was your plans?’ he said, and you shrugged at him.
‘It’s good money for easy work, babe,’ you said, the nickname sitting heavy on your tongue.
‘I can give you money,’ he said, pulling you towards him by your belt loops and nipping at your jaw. You cringed away from him.
‘That would make me your whore, right?’ you said, and he grinned at you, wiggling his eyebrows.
‘Never seemed to bother you before…’ he said, and you bristled against him.
‘The fuck does that mean?’
“Oh, fuck me, babe, make me yours…” he imitated, his voice high in a general approximation of yours. You blushed, furiously. ‘You think good girls beg like little whores?’ he asked, and you knew he was kidding around, knew that he wasn’t smart enough to do it without outright insulting you, knew that you’d put up with this shit before so there was no reason why he wouldn’t assume he couldn’t get away with it now. You knew the way he spoke to you was basically your fault, and you couldn’t yell at him now that the precedent had been set. You felt yourself crumple, landing with a thump on the edge of your bed.
‘I’ll tell you what,’ he was saying, grinning at you like he’d won his prize. ‘You put the kid to bed, and I’ll come by and keep you happy ‘til Dad gets home.’
You hated the idea, the thought of Mick in that space you’d almost come to think of sacred making your stomach churn.
‘No,’ you said, and you watched as he arched his eyebrows in surprise. ‘You can’t come in…’
‘Say no more,’ he said, grinning again, and for whatever reason, you didn’t.
--
He arrived, just after 9 PM, already drunk. You winced as he parked his car in the driveway, right in Mr Miller’s spot, worried for a moment he was going to swipe the mailbox when he took the angle too fast. He skidded to a stop mere inches from Mr Miller’s garage door and you exhaled, realising you were bracing for the sound of splintering wood. He ambled over to where you stood on the front porch, tugging at your shirt sleeves in the cool night air.
‘Babe!’ he called, and you shushed him almost instantly. He was carrying a sixpack of beers, three of them already gone. His breath reeked and you wrinkled up your nose when he slung his arm over the back of your neck and pulled you in for a sloppy kiss.
‘This feels like high school,’ he said, and giggled.
‘This is my job, y’know,’ you corrected him, but he wasn’t hearing you, backing you up against the side of the house. You thumped into the brick, wind temporarily knocked from your lungs before he was on you, slipping his entire tongue into your ear in a way that made your skin crawl.
‘Easy…’ you said, and he ignored you, his hand not holding the beers rising up to paw at your breast over your shirt.
‘Mmm…such a tasty little slut,’ he said, and you closed your eyes. ‘Little naughty baby-sitter.’
‘Keep your voice down,’ you stage-whispered, not sure how well your voices wouldn’t carry over the breeze in Mr Miller’s cul-de-sac. He leant down, resting the beers on the front porch so that he could grope you with both hands.
He groaned as he rubbed his cock at your clothed centre. You moved your face to the side, letting your eyes slide closed again.
You tried to think of a romantic movie. Tried to remember some of the fragments of the romance novels your mother had kept stowed under the bed and that you snuck into the den to read to your giggling friends. Tried to imagine a different man, a stranger’s hands on your chest, a stranger’s fingers pinching at your nipples. Tried to imagine what it would feel like if they found the sweet spot, if they sent electric shocks into your belly, into your cunt. You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to push the sound of Mick’s heavy breathing out of your mind, focusing instead on rough and calloused fingers, the scruff of a beard teasing along your skin. Heavy accent and sweet pine, a groaned little ‘Sweetheart…’ as he slipped your shirt up over your shoulders.
‘The fuck’s going on here?’ you heard a gruff voice as your eyes sprang open, pushing Mick from you hard enough that he stumbled, backwards, landing on the grass.
‘Mr Miller!’ you exclaimed, shame burning bright on your cheeks as you righted your clothes. ‘M’so sorry, he just dropped by…’ you started but Joel was striding up his driveway, as you realised with a new flash of guilt he’d had to park on the street.
‘Hey, man…’ Mick was saying, his hands up in front of his face. ‘Just checkin’ in on my girl…’
You cringed, this particular pet name always feeling more like ownership when it came from him.
Joel looked up at you, his brows saddled. ‘You OK, Sweetheart?’ he asked you, and you realised for the first time he wasn’t angry but concerned, his fists balled up like he was ready to spring to your defence.
‘It’s Mick,’ you explained, glancing down at him as he tried to climb to his feet, getting as far as his knees and settling there for a second to plan his next move. ‘He…he wanted to…’
‘Yeah, I saw what he wanted to,’ Joel huffed out, reaching down to pull Mick upright by the back of his shirt. ‘Saw the way you were bracing away from it too,’ he said, looking directly into Mick’s grinning face.
‘What else you see, old man?’ he asked, and Joel dropped him back onto his knees.
‘You got your keys?’ he asked him, and waiting for the younger man to root around in his pockets.
‘Don’t steal my ride,’ he said, handing them over and not noticing when Joel slipped them into his pocket.
‘M’going inside, and I’m gonna call you a taxi, and you’re getting in. She can drive your car back to you tomorrow mornin’…if she doesn’t decide to drive it off a cliff,’ he said, abandoning Mick on the front lawn and coming towards you, grabbing your wrist gentle but firm in his hand and pulling you inside. ‘C’mon, darlin’,’ he said, and you followed, almost entirely on autopilot.
‘I’m so sorry, Mr Miller,’ you started but he waved you away, placing a call for the taxi while keeping you fixed in your spot with his glare. When he was done, he rolled his shoulders, sighing.
‘You sit,’ he said, striding into the kitchen and emerging moments later with two glasses of sweet tea. You realised, as you lifted your hands to take your glass from him, that you were shivering.
‘I didn’t know he was going to do that,’ you said, and Joel shook his head. You felt the waves of disappointment rolling off him and you worried for a moment you might cry.
‘He always touch ya like that?’ he asked, palming at the back of his neck.
‘Like what?’ you asked, your cheeks burning again.
‘All…clumsy and…disrespectful,’ he said, quiet. He stared at the floor between you while you perched on the edge of the couch.
‘Well…’ you started, but you weren’t sure how you wanted to finish that sentence. Sometimes he doesn’t even bother to touch me at all, you thought.
Joel scoffed, his jaw squeezed tight. ‘Guys like that are all the same, Sweetheart, just…selfish. Even in the bedroom. No lady should be touched like she’s a piece of meat.’
You considered, for one crazy moment, if Joel wasn’t so much disappointed in you as he was in Mick’s prowess. Suddenly you had to stifle a giggle.
‘What’s so funny?’ Joel asked you, surprised.  
‘Just…I mean, they all go to such fancy schools, get all that college for basically free…’ you started, trailing off when you saw him starting to smile. ‘He can’t even boil an egg, and I don’t mean mine,’ you said, and he laughed then, free and loud, and the sound of it made a little fizzle of joy spark up your spine.
This was fun, you realised, shitting on your terrible boyfriend with the most handsome single Dad you’d ever laid your eyes on. This was really, really fun.
‘So, I take it he don’t make you breakfast in the mornin’,’ Joel joked, and you snorted. ‘What you eat for breakfast, anyway?’ he asked, turning to you now, his eyes crinkling at the corners. You swallowed. ‘No, wait,’ he said, ‘let me guess.’ He pretended to look you up and down, his brow arching as he considered. ‘You’re not a waffles kinda girl,’ he said, thoughtfully. You grinned and shook your head. You’d never liked the sponginess. ‘But you’re too fun for plain old oatmeal,’ he said, and you felt a blush crawling across your chest. ‘You’re a pancake princess,’ he decided, finally. ‘Am I right?’
You pretended to consider it for a second before nodding happily at him. ‘Maple syrup and berries,’ you agreed.
‘Maple syrup and berries,’ he said, grinning in his victory. He paused, something passing between you. Suddenly he shifted forward, his knees just barely brushing yours. You found yourself mirroring him, leaning in enough that you had to put your hand out to steady you, landing it on the cushion only inches from his thigh. You could feel his warm breath on your cheek when he whispered in your ear, ‘tart…but a little bit of sweet for m’sweetheart.’
You felt heat scorch its way up your chest, reduced to kindling beside him.
‘Bet he don’t kiss ya like ya should be,’ he said, and you thought for a second of Mick, grinning and drunk out of his mind on the front lawn. You wondered if the taxi had come for him yet, and had absolutely no interest in going out to check on him.
‘Mr Miller…’ you whispered, and he groaned, then, his eyes rolling back in his head.
‘Please, baby, when you call me that…’ he trailed off, eyes blown wide and you felt, then, the thundering in your chest. From this distance you could see his racing pulse in his neck, the same pace as yours.
‘Mr Miller…’ you said, again, staring now at his lips. You wanted to reach out and just take a little nibble.
And he was on you, grasping the back of your head and bringing it down to him, crashing his lips into yours as you gasped, swallowing the echo down into his throat. His tongue, scorching hot, exploring your mouth as he teased it open, the scruff of his beard tickling your cheeks.
‘Thought about you…’ you said, without even thinking, and Joel pulled back a second to appraise you; your swollen lips, your doe-eyes gazing up at him.
‘Say that again,’ he mumbled.
‘When he’d take me, I’d think about you,’ you said, and you watched as his eyes fell shut, taking the moment to glance down at his heaving chest, the aching bulge between his legs. ‘Thought about your hands on me, Mr Miller, about your mouth.’
‘Fuck, Sweetheart…’ he said, almost as if it pained him, before his eyes snapped back open to gaze at you.
‘Kiss me?’ you asked, sweet as you could for him while you tried with both hands to hang on to the moment, to stay here in it with him. You would need to remember this, every corner of the room, every detail. Would spend nights reconstructing his face in your mind, the way he was looking at you now, wanting and red-cheeked, dark eyes and a hot little huff as your words landed their blows on him.
‘Canna touch you, baby?’ he asked, and you were nodding, pulling him towards you as he slid his hands over your waist. Threading your hands through his hair he brought you over him, straddling him on the couch as he stared up at you, brows arching high, as if he couldn’t quite believe it was happening. You smiled at him, feeling like his prize, as you brought your hips down on him and watched his eyes ease shut, heard his breath stutter. He was big, you could feel it even as the seam of his jeans rubbed at your core. You could feel yourself aching for him, hot and pounding where you ground yourself down.
‘Fuck, Mr Miller…’ you gasped as you felt him push his cock up into you, his hands on your hips and pulling you down.
‘So beautiful, baby,’ he whispered, reaching up with one hand to cup your breast, squeezing the nipple between his fingers that, even through your shirt, shot lightning bolts to your cunt. You gasped, a high-pitched little sound you were sure you’d never made before, and he soaked it down into his skin, kept it held tight and precious in the core of him, to keep him warm on cold evenings.
You felt yourself shivering, even as his warm fingertips dropped to lift the hem of your tee and trace their way back up to your tits along the skin. His enormous hands almost completely captured it, and you felt small, then, and shy, but when you looked down into his warm, brown eyes you saw only safety there, only naked desire for your pleasure.
You let your hips roll, that building ache in your core. You’d only ever felt this alone, had never had another person bring it out of you, and you felt the sharp edges of it as you felt a shard of panic slice through your gut. No one had ever done this for you, before. You weren’t sure if your body would allow it, weren’t sure if you could let go enough to fall.
‘Hey…’ Joel said beneath you, his eyes roaming your face. ‘Relax, Sweetheart,’ he whispered, reaching his hand from your hip to your jaw, pulling you down to rest your forehead on his. ‘Just you n’me, baby,’ he whispered as you rocked on top of him. ‘You can take what you need,’ he promised. ‘I got you.’
‘Joel!’ you gasped, the shiver in your body now ratcheting up your spine, your thighs burning as you rolled your hips on his lap, his cock still tucked away in his jeans. ‘I don’t know if I…’
‘Sssh…’ he cooed, raising a thumb to your lips and slipping it between your teeth. You sucked instinctually, swirling your tongue over the tip and letting your eyes drift closed. ‘Just feel it, baby,’ he said, ‘don’t force it. Let it grow.’
Never in your life had you felt like this. You took his thumb between your teeth as you ground, the spark of fear in your belly engulfed by the roar of your desire. You could feel your hips stuttering, could hear yourself starting to pant.
‘Good girl…’ Joel encouraged, slipping his thumb from your mouth now and smearing it across your lips. ‘Right here for ya, baby,’ he said. ‘Wantchya to feel so good.’
You cried out, smacking your hand over your mouth to stifle your cries. He was going to kill you, and you would let him again and again, let him bring you back to life just to kill you this way all over again. You had no idea bodies were made to feel this good.
‘Oh!’ you gasped, all the warning you could muster as he grabbed your hips with both hands, slamming his bulge up into you as he pulled you down, the seam of his jeans rubbing hard into your clit. ‘Yes!’ you whispered, your body shuddering as you felt yourself crest, the pleasure roaring from your cunt to your chest, exploding out of your skin as you rolled, roiled, boiled on top of Mr Miller.
‘Jesus, there she is…’ he whispered, and you opened your eyes to gaze down at him, your breath still coming in gasps as he watched you, awe and desire on his face. ‘There she is,’ he said again, like a prayer, a benediction.
--
You woke slowly, the dappled light streaming in through the oak tree beside Joel’s window. It took you a moment to orient yourself, to remember that you were in his bed because he’d considered it too late for you to take yourself home, even if you had Mick’s car. Because the pleasure he’d wrung out of you on his couch had left you boneless, because the idea of ripping yourself from his smell, from his heat, was unthinkable in that moment.
You stretched, noting that the other side of the bed remained made, that he had spent the night on the couch. You remembered that you had wanted to ask him to stay, that the words had formed on your lips, and that in that moment you saw the regret on his face, the longing to tuck himself in beside you and pull you into his chest, let the weight of the night take him and you with him, but that he wouldn’t allow it, that he was holding back. You weren’t sure why, but you assumed out of decency, out of respect. Out of some vague employee-boss professionalism you would both cling to in an attempt to paper over the grasping maw of desire opening up between you.
You had wanted him, and you had denied him, allowed him to deny you. You rolled to your back in a frustrated huff, surrounded by the scent of him, of his cologne and the scent of his skin imbued in the sheets beneath you.
After a while you heard noises in the kitchen and you left your cocoon, pulling your clothes on and padding down the stairs constructing a cover story for Sarah as to why you were still there. When you rounded the corner, though, you saw only Joel –in a pair of sweatpants and nothing else, standing at the stove.
‘Hey, Sweetheart,’ he said casually, as if you hadn’t come on his lap less than twelve hours before, ‘Sarah’s headed off to soccer practice, so you and me’ll have to take care of all these.’
He gestured over his shoulder to the kitchen table, where a stack of cooling pancakes stood proud. You felt a shiver of shock run though you at the sight of them, turning to Joel with the curl of tears tickling the back of your eyes. ‘No berries, sorry darlin’,’ he said, without looking up. ‘But we got enough syrup to make it up to ya, I hope.’
You weren’t sure anyone had ever done anything like this for you. You wanted to sob, wanted to walk over to the table and pick up the pancakes in your fists and mash them into your skin, wanted to drown them in syrup and eat until your belly distended, wanted to force feed them into Joel. Instead, you stepped forward, your arms opening all of their own accord, wrapping yourself around his back like a Koala. He huffed out a surprised laugh, growing serious when he turned you in his arms to face him, seeing the gathering tears at your waterline.
‘Hey, what’s this?’ he asked, and you grinned, watery, up at him.
‘No-one has ever…’ you started, catching your words before they spilled too much of the truth. Understanding passed over Joel’s face.
‘Oh, my sweet girl…’ he said, and you glowed for a minute, the words reaching down into your chest and igniting something long extinguished.
He leaned down towards you, pressed his nose to yours, his forehead resting gently on yours. You inhaled him, his scent and the sweet smell of the pancakes on the stove, tried to imprint the memory deep in your DNA.
‘What the fuck is this?’ an angry voice sounded from behind you, and you snapped away from Joel, taking several steps back. Mick, still in his same clothes from the night before, stood furious in Joel’s kitchen.
‘The fuck, you let yourself in?’ Joel asked, matching Mick’s anger with his own. ‘This is a private residence, man.’
‘That’s my girlfriend, man,’ Mick spat, his face twisting into an ugly mask you weren’t sure you’d ever noticed on him before. ‘The fuck you doing feeling her up? You stealin’ my car and my girl?’
‘Mick…’ you started but he was ignoring you, advancing on Joel. You stepped towards him, hands up to placate, but Joel was suddenly beside you, tucking you behind him and shielding you with his broad chest.
‘Back up, buddy,’ Joel said, a whispered warning.
‘Me, back up?’ Mick seethed, about to go on before Joel interrupted him.
‘Yeah, you back up. You need to sit your arse down and learn yourself somethin’,’ he said, advancing on Mick so that the younger man took several steps backwards, heading towards the kitchen table. You wondered if anyone had ever actually stood up to him, if usually his wealth was enough to make people cower. He backed into a kitchen chair, slamming down into it with a thud as he stared up at Joel, the older man red faced and pointing a finger at his chest. ‘You think that little display last night was any way to treat a woman?’ he grit out. You watched as Mick shook his head no. ‘You think she enjoyed that, being pawed at in the dark like a fuckin’ street walker?’ he asked.
‘She looked pretty whorish a few seconds ago,’ Mick responded, petulant and stupid. You could see by the way Joel braced his shoulders, his back expanding in resplendent fury, that Mick had made the wrong fucking choice.
‘Ya little shit,’ Joel said, stepping back from Mick and towards you. He held his arm to you, beckoning you into his chest and you went to him, tucking yourself against his side.
‘You have a woman like this, you fuckin’ cherish her,’ Joel muttered, tracing his fingertips along your side and making you shiver. ‘Look at these pretty little tits,’ he said, moving to cup them as you blushed, tucking your face into his neck. You heard Mick’s sharp intake of breath, mirroring your own as Joel rolled your nipples through your shirt. ‘The way you were grabbin’ at ‘em last night, you think that felt good? You make her groan like this?’ he asked, applying just the right amount of pressure on the sensitive nubs, eliciting a moan from you, unbidden.
‘Listen, man, this is…’ Mick started but Joel cut him off with just a look, stern and disapproving, before his face shifted back to adoration when he turned to you.
‘Let’s show him, baby?’ he asked, his brows saddled high. You knew you were safe with him, that at any moment you could call it off, but you wanted this. You wanted Mick to see what Joel could do to you, the sounds you could make. Wanted him to feel small and insignificant in the presence of a real man, of real pleasure. Wanting him to see what money couldn’t buy.
You nodded your head at Joel and watched as the grin bloomed over his face. ‘M’good girl,’ he said, quiet enough that only you could hear it, and you felt the bolt of want shoot down into your core. Your cunt already aching, already dripping for him.
‘Show me where,’ he said, stepping back as you surveyed the space. You nodded towards the kitchen island, the bench just above your hip height. Joel nodded, lifting you up easily to perch on the edge, your body facing Mick as he sat, frozen, at the table in front of you.
‘Slip these off, baby,’ Joel said, tugging at your sweatpants and you lifted your hips as he slipped them, your panties along with them, out from underneath you. The granite countertop cold on the top of your thighs you revelled in the sensation of it, the hard, cold surface so different to Joel’s hot body as he hovered at your side.
‘Show him,’ he said, tapping you on the knee. You spread your legs, hooking one thigh over the edge of the counter and the other widening out to your side, your cunt unfolding before the two men in front of you. You watched as Mick’s face turned pink, sweat appearing on his brow. You turned to look at Joel, the hunger in his eyes as he devoured every inch of your skin. He reached over, running his fingertips over the inside of your thigh, moving closer to you, leaning over your body to whisper into your ear.
‘You’re dripping onto my countertop, baby,’ he said, and you could hear the glee in it, the wanting.
‘For you, Joel,’ you clarified. ‘Not him.’
‘Nah, never for him, I reckon,’ Joel agreed, his fingers slipping further towards your slit. You felt totally exposed and wanton, whorish, as Mick had put it, and your cunt was pulsing, aching from the desire of it. You felt like a priceless piece of art admired in a big city museum, like a stripper opening up her legs for hoards of braying men, like a girlfriend letting her disappointing boyfriend know in no uncertain terms he would no longer neglect her. You felt power coursing through your veins and into your cunt, your slick pooling on the top of your thighs as the most beautiful man you had ever seen stood beside you and teased the pleasure from every nerve.
‘Fuck…’ you whimpered as Joel’s fingers landed light and dexterous on your clit, the little bundle of nerves sending the pleasure roaring through your core and into your chest. You bucked your hips, nearly slipping from the countertop, Joel coming forward again to brace you against his chest.
‘God, look how much she wants it,’ Joel said over your head to Mick. ‘Bet you’ve never made her jump like that.’ You opened your eyes, not even having realised they’d closed, to watch Mick swallow hard and heavy. You beamed back at Joel, letting the pride in his face radiate warmth down upon you.
‘So good f’me, so good t’me,’ he said, spreading your lips apart with his fingers and pushing a fingertip inside. You gasped, shock on your face at the intensity of the need for him burning where he touched.
‘Please…’ you whimpered, just wanting more and just wanting him to never stop, just wanting him to reach inside you, to wring the pleasure out of you, to make you come so hard you forgot your own name.
‘Sshh…’ he cooed to you, ‘your boyfriend needs to concentrate so he can learn.’
You emitted a squeal of frustration, bucking your hips on his hand to try and draw him in, earning you only a chuckle from Joel.
‘Ok baby, m’sorry. Just like teasin’ ya,’ he grinned at you, before sliding two fat, rough fingers hard into your cunt.
For a second you lost touch with reality, your head flying back to the ceiling as sensations strong enough to take your breath roared from your cunt. The stretch was delicious, the heel of Joel’s hand rubbing hard at your clit as his fingers reached deep inside you, opening you up for him, your slick gathering in his palm.
‘Look how wet she gets,’ Joel noted, over his shoulder to Mick. ‘Such a shiny little cunt when she’s drippin’ like this. You ever work her up like this?’
You heard Mick grunt, a pleading note of displeasure, and you sighed as Joel started pumping, stoking the fire in your cunt that threatened to eviscerate you and everyone within the vicinity.
‘Joel!’ you gasped, rolling your hips again, trying to shove him deeper into your greedy little cunt as it grasped at him.  
‘Could lick ‘er up, whatchyu reckon?’ Joel asked, already getting down on his knees as you groaned, certain now he was going to send you into the stratosphere. ‘Can I, baby?’ he asked, and you nodded, frantic, unable to form words.
‘Bet she tastes sweet,’ Joel said to Mick, who was inching closer in his chair, peering over Joel’s shoulder as your cunt swallowed his thick fingers. ‘Like watermelon on a hot summer day. You ever taste her, Mick?’ he asked. You watched as the shame bloomed over Mick’s face. Joel scoffed. ‘Course not, ya fuckin piss weak little prick,’ he spat before turning, diving in to lick a fat stripe at your folds, settling in to lap at your clit as his fingers worked you.
You screamed, sucking in huge lung-fulls of breath just to let them keen out of you, your hips slamming shut on Joel’s head as he sucked at you, every nerve ending screaming now as you felt the blooming heat of release.
‘Oh, he’s gonna make me…’ you said to Mick over Joel’s shoulder, watching you with owlish eyes.
‘Don’t talk to him,’ Joel admonished you, pulling your focus down to him as he perched between your legs, ‘you talk to me,’ he said.
‘Sorry, Mr Miller,’ you said, watching as his eyes rolled shut, a shiver passing over his shoulders.
‘Be the death of me…’ he muttered, returning his attentions to your pulsing cunt. You gripped his hair, rolling your hips on his face and rocking into him, chasing the release now gathering at the base of your spine.
‘Jesus…oh, fuck…’ you cried, trying desperately to warn him, your eyes slamming shut only to open in shock as he found new ways to wring the pleasure from you.
Joel worked you up, his tongue never fatiguing, setting up the perfect rhythm to hold you just on the edge. You could feel your sweat pooling on your skin, the heat in your cunt spreading down your legs, the pull of the knot in your belly.
To your utter dismay Joel stopped, lifting his face to address Mick at his shoulder. ‘You ever make her squirm like this?’ he asked, and you cried for him, then, scrabbling to grip his shoulders, his chin, to push him back to your desperate cunt. He laughed, nipping at your fingertips as they passed by. ‘Look at her graspin’ for me. You seein’ this? This is what real pleasure looks like.’
You cracked open an eye, the room spinning around you as you fought to regain control of your limbs. You saw the look of shame embedded deep into Mick’s face now, the sight of it somehow intensifying your pleasure, the building pressure in your cunt.
‘Fuck me,’ you gasped, turning your attention back to Joel, his eyebrows shooting up. ‘Show him how to fuck,’ you groaned, pushing off the countertop and spinning up onto your toes, laying chest down on the granite now hot to the touch from your writhing body on top of it. You spread your legs a little, knowing that your puffy little cunt lips would be revealed to them both, and you heard them both groan, Joel’s chesty moan full of grit, Mick’s high pitched and brimming with regret.
‘Don’t do this, man…’ he pleaded, and you heard Joel’s little scoff.
‘That’s the thing, buddy, the lady always gets what she wants.’
You felt him come to stand behind you, heard the rustle of his sweats as he pulled his cock over the waistband. It took everything in you not to turn and admire it, knowing in that moment you would have plenty of opportunity.
‘Fuck, she’s got me weepin’,’ Joel said, and you heard the unmistakable sound of skin on skin as he wrapped his hand around himself and tugged. ‘Got me harder than a railroad spike, this little cunt…’ he muttered. You whined, swivelling your hips to try and entice him, begging him to move faster as the walls of your cunt fluttered for him. You heard him sigh, a happy little sound. ‘Ok, baby, I’m here,’ he said, running a hand up your spine to hold you gentle and firm at the back of your neck, the head of his cock nudging at your cunt. ‘Gotta be gentle with my sweet little pussy,’ he said to you, leaning over you to place a chaste kiss in the cup of your shoulder blade.
‘Please, let him see it stretch me,’ you said, and you felt Joel shudder, notching himself at your entrance.
‘Keep talkin’ like that and I’ll chain him up in the basement, make him watch me fuck you every day,’ he muttered, pushing gently at first, the tip enough to make you gasp.
He was big, you realised. All of this time working you up he’d been leading to his moment, preparing to tease you open. ‘Oh, shit…’ you gasped as he pushed.
‘You ok, baby?’ he asked, pausing until you nodded, frantic, hands gripping at the edge of the counter for purchase as you pushed back into him, sliding in a few extra inches, as Joel moaned.
You were dimly aware that Mick was moving, coming to stand in front of you, a look of sorrow and unabashed heat on his face.
‘Please, can I?’ he asked, rubbing himself through his pants and you swatted him away.
‘No, fuck you,’ you said, emboldened by Joel’s desire for you, by his cock currently splitting your folds. ‘You never get this pussy again,’ you hissed at him, and you felt a bloom of pride at the look of hurt crossing his face just as Joel cheered from behind you.
‘That’s my beautiful girl!’ he gasped, bringing a finger to your clit and rubbing tight circles into it, making you gasp as you let your head fall, resting on the countertop. ‘So good f’me.’
The burn in your cunt from the way he stretched you abated, the pleasure Joel was giving you from your clit causing more slick to gather, your cunt grasping him again, your walls fluttering as you felt the ache turn to sweet pleasure, to a blooming rapture.
You lost touch with the ground, Joel’s harsh thrusts pushing you further up the counter, completely at his mercy as your legs hung useless beneath you, hands braced against the granite to give him purchase. In this moment, spread out on his cock, your cunt open and dripping for him, the pleasure ripping the words from your brain, gasps racking your throat, you felt completely under Joel’s spell, his touch, his heat. Mind-numb, thoroughly fucked out, gripped in this moment between the build up and the threshold of release.
‘Oh, you’re gonna make me…’ you warned but Joel had you, was there already with you.
‘I know, baby, I know,’ he grunted between thrusts. ‘Can feel it, can feel that sweet little cunt grippin’ me.’
You cried out, nodding your head furiously, entirely at his mercy now. ‘Yes, yes…Joel, it’s gonna…’
‘Let it go, baby,’ he moaned, and you felt none of the panic, none of the terror at your impending release, wrapped up safe in Joel’s body, in his groans of rapture, in the pull of the knot as it threatened to snap entirely.  
‘Watch me make her come,’ he spat out over your head, and you were only dimly aware of what he was saying as your release sped towards you.
You writhed, your breath stolen from you by the roar of the wildfire across your chest. The push of your orgasm slipping you under, crashing your body into the shore, rolling and quaking underneath it as indescribable lust coursed through your veins.
‘Oh, fuck, there she goes,’ Joel spluttered, his hips stuttering as he started to deepen his thrusts. ‘Gonna fill up ya girl,’ he grit out, his final movements sloppy and desperate as he approached the edge.
‘Do it, baby,’ you whimpered beneath him, words finally able to escape the cage of your throat. ‘Need you.’
He did, then, his come exploding into you and washing you clean, cleansing you of Mick, of all your disappointments, of all your fears. You looked back over your shoulder at him as he crested, his eyebrows saddled and his eyes trained on you, a look of reverence and hunger, of sweet shock, as though he couldn’t believe how good it felt either, as if everything for him was also slotting into place, as if he knew in this moment he would never let anyone separate you, would never let anyone take you from his side, that in his moment you were his just as much as he was yours, that this was a forging of something solid and essential, something vital and something precious, something that was just for you.
--
You didn’t remember Mick leaving. Didn’t care to say goodbye.
Joel had peeled you off the counter and carried you upstairs, drawn you a bath and lowered you gently into the water, sat beside you and washed your body as you lulled in and out of a light sleep.
Drying you off he wrapped you up in his clothes, swamping you in cotton and his scent, before promising to make you a fresh batch of pancakes. You hadn’t let him, whimpering when he tried to leave your side, pulling him down beside you on the bed and wrapping his arms around you.
Later you would figure out lunch, and then Sarah, and then the rest of your lives. For now, you had each other, and cool sheets, and the light patter of rain as a welcome cool breeze blew new life over the garden beneath Joel’s window.
2K notes · View notes
vaquerolvr · 2 months ago
Note
Road trip! Reader is Passenger Princess (due to them giving their man a heart attack everytime they drive 😊)
i am Still Suffering on my road trip. god save me. i wrote this in my notes app while stuck in traffic for three hours. the formatting and spelling are in the hands of Our Merciful Lord (tumblr)
price
refuses to let anyone else drive unless he’s on the verge of passing out
(probably the only one you can trust to drive tbh)
does the dad thing where he’ll stick out his hand to get some of your snacks
hates stopping for any reason, wants to get to the destination as quickly as possible
when he does get forced to take a break, he’s very upset about it
backseat driver, stresses everyone out
(gaz is tempted to tape his mouth shut)
claims he “isn’t tired” and “can keep going” but is the first one to pass out when you stop at a hotel
gaz
passenger princess
if you try to get him to drive he’ll pretend to be sleepy
in charge of the music
(not because everyone likes his music but because he fought soap for the right)
hogs the phone charger
calls shotgun and will fistfight anyone he tries to take it from him
(he’ll let you have it if you want but he’ll be pouty about it)
ghost
another passenger princess (because no one trusts his driving)
the single time he’s allowed to drive, he nearly causes an accident ten minutes in
weakest bladder known to man
forces you to stop every hour
passes out after the first hour of driving
soap wakes him up when his snoring gets too loud and it causes another bout of smacking each other
takes photos of anything cool he spots on the road
(they all come out blurry but it’s the thought that counts)
soap
the only other one that price trusts to drive
decent driver, just has road rage at times
begs gaz to let him change the music (gaz always says no)
points out the scenery constantly
“look, there’s cows!”
collects souvenirs from every gas station you stop at
plays road trip games (i spy, slug bug/punch buggy/whatever you call it)
he and ghost get in trouble when it devolves into them just hitting each other
has a stash of snacks and drinks that he’ll share if you ask nicely
is awake and yapping the entire drive
(gaz actually does tape his mouth shut)
alejandro
the exact opposite of price
likes to take his time and relax
will somehow turn a 10 hour drive into 15 hours
wants to stop at every roadside attraction he sees
you have to keep reminding him that you have somewhere to be or he’ll get lost on a side quest
souvenir guy, buys magnets and keychains
has cds that he likes to listen to
very chill but you might get stressed if you’re on a deadline
is insistent on being the driver but gets traumatized when he runs over a squirrel
“ale, it wasn’t your fault. it was dark, you couldn’t see-“
“I’M A MURDERER”
rudy
probably the best person to plan a road trip with
isn’t a maniac like price but isn’t as laidback as alejandro
likes to listen to random radio stations as he drives
is really bad about speeding
regularly goes at least 15-20 over the speed limit but is lucky enough to never get pulled over
uses road trips as an excuse to only eat junk food then regrets it when his stomach starts hurting
needs a day or two to recover afterwards because his back hurts from sitting for so long
graves
scarily organized
has an itinerary and follows it to the letter
wouldn’t let you drive even if you begged
if he gets tired he’ll just get one of the shadows to take over
honestly, most of the trip consists of the shadows entertaining you with their antics while graves drives
one of them gets left behind at a gas station and you have to drive back half an hour to pick him up. graves is pissed
makarov
do NOT try to take this man on a road trip
if you mention it, he��ll have plane tickets booked before you can even blink
cannot handle long drives, the most he can manage is an hour before he starts getting annoyed
keegan
the most stressful but also the most entertaining
demands control of the music but plays the weirdest shit
not the best driver but not the worst
he won’t crash at least and he’ll only get pulled over a few times
says the most out of pocket shit to get a reaction from you
“how long do you think i can drive with my eyes closed?”
“KEEGAN NO-“
keegan has been banished to the passenger’s seat.
nikolai
another guy who is good at road trips
great driver, you can sleep the whole ride and he won’t gaf
it’s kind of terrifying. you’ll wake up from another nap to find him staring dead-eyed at the road as he drives
secretly shoplifts something from every place you stop at
doesn’t admit it until you accidentally find his stash hidden in one of the bags
“solnishko, you must understand. i need it.”
“you do not need a keychain of a frog with a cowboy hat, nik!”
nikolai is now wanted for theft in every US state (and several countries)
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eunhos · 2 years ago
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crushpunky · 7 days ago
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drew being obsessed with actress!reader for 10 minutes
masterlist | actress!reader masterlist
compilation of cute moments based on this ask :) 
when he couldn’t stop blushing when she was brought up…
“So, Drew, we checked out your social media before you got on here today,” Jimmy Kimmel said, tapping his cards on the desk as he spoke, “you seem to be a bit of a private person, but we know there’s quite a bit of content from a certain special someone floating around online. Maybe a certain actress, hmm? Care to comment?”
Drew chuckled, an immediate smile spreading across his face as his cheeks flushed a bright red. He ran his hand on his jaw, biting his lip before he spoke.
“Uh, yeah, I’m not a very big social media person, but luckily she is.” Drew grinned at the mention of y/n. “I think people would forget I exist if she didn’t post that I was still alive every once in a while, but yeah… she’s great.”
“You seem very happy,” Jimmy teased, causing Drew to shake his head as he tried to hide how his cheeks grew impossibly redder.
“I am. We are.” Drew smiled as he spoke. “She’s my favorite person and I am truly so honored and lucky to get to know her.”
when he serenaded her…
It was another karaoke night at Drew and y/n’s apartment, their friends piled onto the couch as Drew sang. It wasn’t super often he sang, let alone by himself… so that’s where the couple glasses of wine came into play, giving him the confidence to take on “Hopelessly Devoted to You”. Everyone giggled as Drew sang, missing a couple of notes here and there, but making up for it with his dramatic stage (or rather, living room) presence. He looked around the room until he locked eyes with y/n, crossing the living room in a few quick strides before kneeling down in front of her.
“But now,” Drew sang, grabbing her hand, “there’s nowhere to hide, since you pushed my love aside.”
Y/n’s mouth dropped, the rest of their friends hollering as Drew continued to sing.
“I’m out of my head,” Drew sang, a wide smile on his face, “hopelessly devoted to you!”
He pressed a quick kiss to her head, causing her to giggle before he continued his performance.
when he brought her up unprompted…
“You much of a dancer?” Drew asked Harris Dickinson, the two of them sitting opposite each other as they conducted their Actors on Actors interview.
“No, no… you are though, that’s for sure.” Harris said, chuckling slightly as Drew shook his head.
“I don’t think I am,” Drew said, placing a hand over his chest as he spoke, “but my girlfriend certainly thinks I am.”
“Yeah?” Harris hummed, listening as Drew nodded, a grin spreading across his face.
“Yeah, she, uh—” Drew laughed slightly. “She just loves dancing around the house and insists that I join her so… I can’t refuse, of course.”
“Oh of course not,” Harris laughs. “Your hands are tied.”
“Yeah. Well, jokes aside,” Drew laughed, “whether or not I’m any good, I like it, it’s fun. It makes my girl happy so that makes me happy.”
when he was pouting because she left…
The Outer Banks cast sat around a large dinner table, chatting and laughing as they waited for their food to arrive. They had just finished a long day of shooting season one, the group deciding to go out for dinner as a treat. Taking a video, Madelyn panned around the table, each cast member excitedly waving at the camera one after the other until the camera landed on Drew. He was looking around the restaurant, a slight frown on his face as he gnawed at his bottom lip. The seat next to him was empty, y/n just having got up moments ago to use the restroom.
“Drew!” Madelyn said to him, causing him to whip his head around. He looked at her, his eyebrows furrowed and a stale expression still on his face.
“What’s your problem?” Chase laughed as Madelyn continued to zoom in on Drew’s very much Rafe-esque face.
“He misses y/n.” JD teased, causing Drew to look away from Madelyn and hit JD on the shoulder. The rest of the table collapsed into laughter as Drew shook his head, trying to hide the pink tinge rising in his cheeks at the mention of his very obvious crush before the video cut off.
when he couldn’t stop staring…
Y/n set up her camera, music playing from it as she prepared to make her Tik Tok. As soon as the video started, y/n backed away, smiling mischievously as she watched Drew sitting behind her in her phone’s camera. He was sprawled out on the couch, scrolling through his phone. However, the second she stepped into his vision, he immediately looked over at her. Eyes trained on her, his gaze soft as he watched her intently.
The music quickly switched, and y/n immediately started doing the strangest possible dance she could think of, all in an attempt to weird Drew out. Soon, Drew furrowed his brow, putting his phone down as he continued to watch y/n with a confused expression. Suddenly, y/n spun around, looking at him as she jumped up on the couch and danced over him. Drew shifted his position, staring straight up at her as he laughed at her insane dancing.
“What the fuck?” The camera picked up Drew saying, his words obvious even if they were covered by music and y/n’s crazy dancing. With a squeal, y/n jumped on him, the two of them rolling off the couch and landing on the floor in a heap of limbs and giggles.
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misctf · 6 months ago
Text
Trouble at the Bachelor Party
“Dude! This is sick!”
“Bro, you’re telling me.” Liam replied, as him and his two friends explored the penthouse.
It was fully decked out. A massive flatscreen in the living room, a fully stocked bar, a beautiful view of the beach. It was everything Liam could’ve wanted. Initially, when his soon to be father-in-law offered his penthouse for the bachelor party, Liam was shocked. Mr. Reynolds often used phrases like “irresponsible”, “waste of time”, and “not good enough for my daughter” when talking about Liam. And he wasn’t afraid to let Liam know too.
“Dude! There’s a flatscreen in each bedroom too!” Chris shouted from down the hall, “Fuck, you were right. This guy’s loaded!”
It was true. Liam was marrying the heiress of a massive tech company. And Mr. Reynonds was certainly loaded. But despite his reassurances that he loved Susie, not their money, the older man viewed him suspiciously. Liam came from a pretty humble background and the world of upper class living wasn’t something he was used to. But perhaps letting them use his penthouse was Mr. Reynolds’s way of showing acceptance.
“Okay boys.” Liam said, “We have a few days here. Let’s make ‘em count.” He tossed Jeremy and Chris each a beer. After a quick toast to what was going to be the most incredible bachelor party on Earth, they downed their beers.
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“Lookin’ good.” Liam chuckled as he inspected himself in the mirror, “Can’t believe you’re actually getting hitched.” He flexed his bicep, “Sorry ladies, I’m off the market. Oof, I’ll have to practice that line a bit.” He grinned.
Leaving the bathroom, he found Jeremy sipping a beer on the couch. He was shirtless, wearing a pair of blue swim trunks. His dark brown hair was well styled, and his face clean shaven. He had that boy-next- door look that caused the ladies to swoon.
“Yo Jeremy, what’s up?”
“Not much, just texting Sarah.” He replied, “I forgot to let her know I got here safe and she’s pissed.”
“Oh shit dude.” Liam patted his friend on the back, “I feel for you.” Sarah could be scary when she was angry, but otherwise she was a solid 10. Liam looked forward to the day Jeremy proposed.
“All good.” Jeremy sighed, “Where the fuck is Chris?” Liam shrugged, “He kept me up all fucking night. Fucker must’ve been horny. I’ve never heard anyone moan so loud in my life.”
“Not even Sarah?” Jeremy didn’t seem amused.
“Seriously, we need to get him a girlfriend or something.”
Liam chuckled, “I guess I slept through it.”
“Lucky you.” The door to Chris's room suddenly opened and both men turned.
“Hey boys, sorry to keep you waiting!” The sing songy voice threw them both off, and Liam’s jaw dropped when he saw Chris. His muscles were proudly on display as always. But it was the tight speedo showing off his impressive bulge that shocked him, “Oh, is something wrong?” His voice carried a breathy sultriness, which was unusual for their bro.  
“Dude, I’m not one to judge, but don’t you think that’s a bit risqué?” Jeremy asked, raising an eyebrow, “What would Jesus say?” It was well known Chris was religious. In fact, Liam and Chris had met at their college’s church.
Chris shrugged and ran a hand through his curly light brown hair, “Oh this? You like?” He grinned and did a quick pose, “Come on boys, we’re burning daylight!” He said, sauntering towards the door.
________________
The walk to the beach was uncomfortable. Chris walked ahead of his two buddies at an unusually fast pace, his firm ass jiggling with each step. Liam didn’t even know where to begin. What the fuck had gotten into Chris? Usually they’d have to drag him to parties and give him pep talks to boost his confidence. But now? He was certainly turning heads.
“Wait, guys! Did you see that?” Chris asked, turning to his friends and waving excitedly, “That guy over there was totally checking me out!”
“Um, so what?” Jeremy asked, “Why do you care?”
“Do you think I should go after him? He was totally cute. And that ass- just wow.” Liam and Jeremy’s eyes widened, “What?”
“Are you gay?” Liam asked bluntly.
Chris placed a hand to his chin and shrugged, “Like totally! Since like forever probably.”
“Makes sense.” Jeremy said, “Repressed religious guys. It’s a thing.” But Liam was still having a somewhat hard time believing it. Was all their prior bro talk really a lie?
“Oh! He’s getting away!” Chris whined, “I’ll catch up with you later!” He blew them each a kiss and briskly walked over to the man from earlier, leaving Liam shook.
________________
Hours went by without hearing from Chris, and Liam’s mood tanked. Jeremy tried to cheer him up back at the penthouse. Beers and the big game on a flatscreen. Should’ve been perfect. But it wasn’t. Liam knew that Chris being gay shouldn’t matter. Good for him, right?
“Oh my god, that was incredible.” Chris said, gasping as he entered the penthouse, “How are my two besties doing?”
“Would’ve liked you around.” Liam replied, “It’s my bachelor party after all.”
Chris dramatically placed a hand to his sweaty chest, “Sue me for having fun!” His voice cracked and he headed towards his room, “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in my room.”
Liam didn’t reply. Sure, Chris is gay. Fine. But acting like a stereotypically fruity drama queen? That didn’t make sense to him. He turned to Jeremy.
“Look, its late and I’m tired. The game sucks anyway.” He said, “I’m off to bed.”
“Same bro. Gotta be up early for our tee time anyway.”
They went to their respective bedrooms. Once there, Jeremy sighed. He hated seeing his friend like this, but what could he do? Talk to Chris maybe? He'd try to salvage this party. But when he finally got comfortable in bed, the TV suddenly turned on. He was greeted by static.
“Weird.” He mumbled. He tried to turn it off with the remote, but failed. Sighing, he got out of bed to turn it off. But as he got closer, he could hear a voice. It was soft, but forceful.
“You are a gay slut. You like to fuck men.”
Jeremy raised an eyebrow, “What the fuck?” He whispered. But the voice only got louder.
“You are a gay slut. Your dick only gets hard for men.” Jeremy felt woozy as the voice reverberated in his head.
“No, I’m straight... I like...” He moaned loudly as the voice drowned out his thoughts. At this point, the screen was flashing various scenes of gay porn and Jeremy’s dick started to swell, “No... fuck...” He breathed out, “I-I... ughhh.” He tried to imagine tits and his nights with Sarah. But these thoughts were instead swapped out with images of juicy, jiggling bubble butts and twerking men.   
“You are a dominant top. You only fuck men.”
“I-I’m a gay slut?” Jeremy questioned, “I only like to fuck men?” That didn't sound right. Right? He never...
"You are a dominant top. Twinks are lucky to ride your dick."
His eyes became half lidded and vacant as the words carved his new reality.
“I’m a dominant top. Twinks are lucky to ride this cock." He said confidently, "I am a gay slut.”
Soon, the room filled with his pleasure-filled moans, his new reality taking hold over him.
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When Liam entered the living room the next morning, he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Jeremy was aggressively caressing Chris’s face, as the two made out on the couch with their erect dicks on full display.
“What the fuck?” Liam gasped as the two men turned towards him.
“Oh Liam! Good morning!” Chris sang, ending his kiss with Jeremy.
“Fuck, just who we were waiting for.” Jeremy commented in a lower, more gravelly voice, “We have something for you.”
“No, this is fucked. What the fuck?” Liam fumed, “What about Sarah? What were you thinking?”
Jeremy shrugged, “I only like fucking men.”
Liam shook his head, “No way, fuck that.” He replied, taking a step back.
“Oh goodness, you’re upset!” Chris whined, “No Liam baby, its okay. Here, watch this.”
Before Liam could say anything, Chris turned on the TV. Static filled his field of vision. But then he heard it. Faint at first, but present nonetheless.
“You are a gay slut.” It said, and Liam grabbed his head.
“What the fuck?” He cursed, stumbling slightly.
The voice was echoing from within his head. Desperately, he moved towards the TV, wanting to shut it off. But Jeremy grabbed his arm firmly and forced him to sit between them. Liam tried to fight back, to get away from his two friends, but he felt so disoriented. The voice continued.
“You are a gay slut. You like taking cock.” It said.
Liam yelped as a needle entered his skin. He looked down to see Chris dump the contents of a syringe into his arm.
“Wh-what was that?” Liam slurred.
“Don’t worry, cutie. Just listen to the voice.” He giggled.
Liam groaned as the voice got louder and louder, “You are a gay slut. A slutty bottom. You love taking cock.”
Liam looked down and watched as his body hair started to disappear. Gone was his light dusting of chest and belly hairs, leaving him smooth. At the same time, the scruff framing his face vanished. He looked over to Jeremy, who smirked at this new development.
“Oh look at that! It’s totally working!” Chris giggled.
“No shit. Reynolds must’ve given us the good stuff.” Jeremy remarked, slowly massaging his cock.
“The good stuff?” Liam slurred, his voice cracking, “Like, what are you talking about?”
“Good because I was getting bored.” Chris sighed, “I mean, Jeremy baby, you’re an expert kisser, but like, I need a hole.” Jeremy nodded in agreement.
“A hole?” Liam whispered.
He let out a pained moan as his body temperature suddenly spiked. Sweat poured from him as his musculature dwindled away. His hard earned muscles atrophied before his terrified eyes. His bulging biceps and triceps became thin and lean, while his juicy pecs rapidly deflated. In a matter of minutes, years of workouts and optimal dieting were undone, leaving Liam slim and fragile.
“Wow, he’s so light now.” Jeremy chuckled as he man-handled his friend onto his lap. Liam yelped at the sensation of Jeremy’s erect cock grinding against his hole.
“Oh and he’s gotten shorter too! What a cutie.” Chris cooed.
“Ah, ass is still bony though.” Jeremy commented, giving it a firm squeeze.
But Liam barely registered any of this. Instead, his thoughts were filled with the words echoing from the TV. His eyes became half-lidded at this point and his resistance was fading.
“You’re just a bottom, a hole to be used by other men. You are a gay slut.” The words continued, “You like being used by other men. Your only pleasure is from getting fucked.”
“I-I’m straight... I like... I like tits.” He knew his voice sounds more feminine somehow and he cringed, “I’m a straight man.” Jeremy and Chris smirked, “I-I...” images of men getting fucked in all kinds of positions flashed on the TV, “Ohhhh I... I... I’m a...” Liam’s handsome face lost its masculine edge and his hair became lighter in color. At the same time, his cock started to shrink. Inch after inch lost as it retracted back, “Noooooo.... not my cock...” He moaned, tears now stinging at his eyes. His manhood, his masculinity. It was being stolen from him. And he was unable to stop it.
“Your only pleasure comes from your ass.”
Liam moaned again and this time his ass started to fill with jiggly fat. He could feel the extra padding build upon itself, his slim cheeks turning into mounds of soft flesh. And as Jeremy squeezed his ass again, pleasure filled his slim frame.
“Much better.” Jeremy remarked, his fingers massaging Liam’s hole, “Fuck, this is gonna feel so good.”
“Mhmm.” Chris replied, grabbing his own fistful of Liam’s juicy ass.
“Ohhhhhhhh yesssssss.” Liam slurred.
“So, what are you?” Jeremy asked.
“I-I’m...” Part of him didn’t want to say it. Didn’t want to acknowledge it. But as his lips plumped up into gorgeous cock suckers, and Jeremy’s teasing fingers penetrated him deeper, Liam was drowning in too much pleasure to care, “I...I...” The voice was so loud. It egged him on, beckoned him to admit his new truth. He wanted- no needed- to be like the men on the screen. To be fucked and used by other men. Who was he kidding? He knew what he was, “I’m like a total gay slut! I love cock.” He turned his head to look at Jeremy, then Chris, “Please daddies, use me! I need your cocks!” He begged.
And his new lovers were happy to oblige.
________________
In the afterglow of sex, the three men sat panting heavily on the couch. Liam was curled up between his two lovers, still rubbing their dicks. Despite draining them each multiple times over, he needed more. But his horny thoughts were interrupted by a video call. He grabbed his phone and smiled.
“Hey Mr. Reynolds!” Liam slurred, “Like, we love your penthouse.”
Mr. Reynolds grinned, “I can tell.” His eyes sparkled with satisfaction, “Look at you Liam. My god. You turned out better than expected. The boys at the lab earned their salaries with this one.” Liam nodded along, not really understanding the implication, “How do you feel?”
“Like a total gay slut.” He grinned, “And I love it, like so much, Mr. Reynolds.”
“Well I’m glad to hear.” he chuckled, “And are your friends treating you well?” Liam adjusted the phone so the older man could see his two lovers, who were both fast asleep, “Well looks like you have two very satisfied customers.”
Liam grinned, “Like totally.” A sense of satisfaction filling him, “Oh! Like, can you let Susie know the wedding is off? I’m like, so sorry.”
“Of course, it would be my pleasure. She’ll understand.” Mr. Reynolds replied- mission accomplished, “Now, get back to your party. Enjoy the penthouse for as long as you want.”
Liam’s eyes lit up, “OMG thank you!” The call ended, “Did you hear that?” Liam asked, his two lovers stirring awake.
And so their party continued- and it would for days. Their lives forever changed, and them none the wiser to it. But if their pleasure filled moans were anything to judge by, they certainly weren’t complaining.
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phas3d · 6 months ago
Note
Hi there! I’m not sure if your still taking requests, but I would love to know your thoughts on how Lorenzo, Theo, Draco, Mattheo, and Tom would react to their s/o wearing their hoodie/sweater. I was thinking headcanons or a Drabble but anything would be great! I really love writing and hope you feel inspired to write even more soon!
Wearing Their Clothes | Slytherin Boys
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type :: fluff
tw/cw :: calling theo a man whore, calling enzo a twink,
contains :: draco, tom, mattheo, theodore, lorenzo
notes :: inspired by uhh, nothing really - this prompt has been in my draft for ages and i finallyyyy finished it - THANK YOU to everyone who sends requests, I'm finally getting to them
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DRACO MALFOY
When you complained about being cold, he instantly started lecturing you
"I told you it would get cold but your little pea brain didn't process that"
But while he's lecturing you, he's taking off his jumper and handing it to you
It smells like him and it's super soft
He only buys the best material for his clothes, because duhhh
He lets you wear it until you're somewhere warm
Although he loves you, he loves his jumper more
But he does sacrifice some of his jumpers by letting you wear them because, he hates to admit it, but you look super cute in his clothes
TOM RIDDLE
He watches you shiver for a few minutes until he decides to offer his jacket
You could literally be turning blue but he won't offer his jacket until he feels like it
He sighs, as if you asked for his jacket, and drapes his jacket around your shoulders
And guess what,,, he even ZIPS IT UP FOR YOU
AHHHH
Even though he's a dickhead at times, he's still a gentleman
When you put on his jacket, he slightly smirks at how big it is on you
Not cause you're cute, but because it makes him feel powerful to know he's bigger
MATTHEO RIDDLE
Is so so happy when he sees you out in the cold during his quidditch match
He's beaming and passes by you in the bleachers for a quick second as he throws his spare jersey in your arms
When you put it on, you smell his sweat and musk
Which would smell disgusting to some but to you, that's your boy :)
During his game, he glances over at you and smiles when he sees you wearing it
It helps push him to win even more
THEODORE NOTT
Sadly, Theo is a man-whore
Meaning he is always serving cunt,,, meaning he rarely wears jackets or sweaters
So if you're cold,,, so is he
Buttt on the lucky chance he is actually wearing a jacket and hiding his muscles, he doesn't hesitate to give you his jacket
And his jackets are 10 times better because not only is it always great material, clean, but it's also stylish
He always takes pictures of you when you wear his jacket, it makes him feel so happy and giddy
It kinda inspires him to try and style outfits for you to wear
Possibly plans matching outfits, that way if you get cold and he needs to give you his jacket - it will match both of you :)
This man is a THINKER!!! mwah
LORENZO BERKSHIRE
This man is a twig, twink, pocket sized
He will fly away in the wind like a napkin
BUT luckily, he loves getting massively oversized hoodies
It smells like the woods, a hint of lavender, but mostly fresh grass and sunlight is his scent
He loves to cool and comfy looks it gives - always gets a cool ass design on it as well
When you borrow his hoodies, he gets so giddy
He loves it so much since it's like he's claiming you in a way
Similar to how you leave hair ties, claw clips, and extra lip glosses all over his room
Definitely stacks up on big hoodies, that way you have a bunch of options to choose from
Even gets you guys matching designs in different colors
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norrisainz33 · 6 months ago
Text
Team USA || LS2
☆ summary: the 2024 Paris Olympics have started and Logan Sargeant’s partner is set to make her Olympic debut
☆ pairing: logan sargeant x olympian!reader
☆ fc: none until the very end
☆ warnings: none
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ynuser has made a post
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liked by logansargeant, williamsracing, lilymhe, teamusa, and 210,002 others
ynuser: the day i’ve always dreamed of is here - i’m headed to the 2024 olympics to represent teamusa! thank you to my friends, my family, and my logan for supporting me through every up and down over the past few years. time to get the gold 🇺🇸🦅���
view all 234 comments
teamusa: can’t wait to see you in Tahiti! 🇺🇸
user1: RAHHHH AMERICA 🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸
user4: ‘my logan’ i’m sleeping in the road
logansargeant: i could not be more proud of you y/n/n
ynuser: couldn’t have done it without you logie bear
user2: they’re my favorite couple on the grid
williamsracing: congratulations y/n! american or not we will be cheering you on 💙
yourbff: america’s it girl
user3: USA USA USA
Williamsracing has posted a video
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liked by logansargeant, alex_albon, teamusa, ynuser, and 609,012 others
williamsracing: Ahead of the Olympics starting today, we put Albono and Sarge to the test 😂🎨
view all 245 comments
user13: whelp they tried their best
user16: LOGIE IS SO POOKIE CODED liked by ynuser
ynuser: close enough 🇺🇸
williamsracing: our olympic queen 😫🫶🏻
ynuser: my admin 😘
user5: admin has a crush on her too it seems
user12: RAHHHHHH LOGAN 🦅🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸
user17: resign logie bear or else!!!!!!!
logansargeant has posted a story
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view story replies
user22: BIG DAY FOR AMERICA 🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸
alex_albon: let’s go y/n/n!!! 🏄‍♀️🌊
lilymhe: OUR GIRLFRIEND IS GONNA EAT
logansargeant: our?!
lilymhe: how many times do we have to talk about this logan!!! that’s my girl too!!!
logansargeant: fine but you have to share alex with me then
lilymhe: done and done
ynuser: i’ll be cheering for you from tahiti!! score some points for me baby 💙🇺🇸
logansargeant: i’ll do my best sweet girl 💙 score a perfect 10 for me 😘
ynuser: call me when you can after the race, i miss you and your face so much
logansargeant: i will!!! i miss and love you so very much
user27: you’re scoring loints this weekend i just know it
f1tv has posted a video
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user27: seeing him happy is such a good feeling
user88: no for real - he hasn’t been this happy in a post race interview in a while
user47: he needed this
user28: logan deserves the world
user29: he loves y/n so much it’s sickening
user31: boyfriend of the year award is his fr
user23: sargenation we are so up rn
user88: we used to pray for times like these
user55: both of our american beauties slayed today
user65: someone get this man a contract asap!!!
logansargeant made a post
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liked by ynuser, williamsracing, teamusa, oscarpiastri, and 546,203
logansargeant: thankful for the break because it means I get to cheer on y/n in person as she represents teamusa. into the final push for gold we go🏅💙🇺🇸
view all 765 comments
user24: mr and mrs america
user25: USA USA USA RAHHHHH EAGLE GUN SHOT BOOM BOOM BOOM 🦅🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸
oscarpiastri: i may be rooting for australia but i am still so proud of you y/n
ynuser: osco 😭 thank you
ynuser: i’m so glad you’re here logie. your support is unmatched 💙
user27: THE power couple
lilymhe: america’s sweethearts 🫶🏻
ynuser: wifey 🤭
lilymhe: mommy 😍
logansargeant: stop flirting on my own post
lilyzneimer: the most iconic girl in the world, let’s go y/n!!!
ynuser: the sweetest girl in the world 🫶🏻
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logansargeant has made a post
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liked by teamusa, williamsracing, ynuser, oscarpiastri, alex_albon, and 589,575 others
logansargeant: SHE DID IT!!!! Y/N is an olympic gold medalist!!!! To say i’m proud would be an understatement. y/n/n, i am in awe of you.. you have worked harder than anyone i’ve ever seen and i am so lucky to have been able to grow and reach for the stars by your side. You’re a gold medalist baby - you’re the best in world. soak it in 💙🇺🇸🏄‍♀️
view all 984 comments
user2: not me crying watching y/n take the gold (im not even american)
oscarpiastri: congratulations y/n!! an impressive effort all around. looking forward to you teaching me your ways 😉
carlossainz55: vamos y/n!
lilymhe: QUEEN OF THE WORLD LETS GO
alex_albon: YESS Y/N!!!
williamsracing: our golden girl 💙
naxverstappen1: simply lovely stuff ynuser
alexandrasaintmleux: félicitations ma belle fille 🫶🏻🏅
georgerussell63: y/n yabba dabba did it!! 💪🏻🏄‍♀️
lilyzneimer: i’m so proud of y/n i can’t stop crying 😭
pierregasly: me, kika and simba are so beyond happy for you y/n
user24: stop all the drivers and wags and admin supporting her is so wholesome
user87: the outpouring of love is so beautiful wtf 😭
user25: the american dream (or whatever idk)
ynuser: logan hunter sargeant i love you more than i’ll ever have words for. your support, guidance and compassion over the years is one of the only reasons im here today. thank you for being there for me and flying half way across the world to watch my dreams come true 🤍🤍
logansargeant: there is no place else i would have rather been
user28: listen if my partner doesnt support me as much as logan supports y/n… i dont want it
user65: i just fell to my knees
user29: she is captain america 💙🦅💙🇺🇸
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☆ a/n: i love the olympics and logan just felt right for this one. thanks for reading!! likes and reblogs appreciated
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© norrisainz33: please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform
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starmapz · 2 months ago
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what you know - ch5: hero || r. sukuna
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❦ ryomen sukuna x f!reader [college au] [ongoing series]
❝ you've heard his reputation and you've seen first-hand the way he's late to class if he even bothers to show up. paired with him for the most important project of the year, you choose to give him the benefit of the doubt- but maybe that's more than he deserves when your perfect grades depend on him, or maybe there's more to the aloof and irritable sukuna than meets the eye. ❞
❦ cw ; mdni, 18+ only. contains explicit sexual themes and content. use of alcohol. use of cannabis. use of nicotine/cigarettes. angst. hurt/no comfort. hurt/comfort. implied injury. family trauma. smut. reader has a vagina. slow burn. anxiety. tags will be updated as series continues.
❦ additional tags ; college parties and themes. sukuna ooc warning as this is a realistic take on modern sukuna. reader is fairly preppy and implied to be smaller than sukuna, but he's 6"11.
❦ words ; 12.2k.
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[email protected] - Tuesday, 10:44 PM Have lunch with us tomorrow!
[email protected] - Tuesday, 10:59 PM am i allowed to say no
[email protected] - Tuesday, 11:03 PM Nope! :)
[email protected] - Tuesday, 11:05 PM lucky me
If there’s one thing you can say about your friendship with Sukuna, it’s that he’s a lot funnier than all the rumors surrounding him give him credit for.
That, and that you’ve gotten a lot better at checking your email.
Pulling into the parking lot nearest to the campus library, you put the car in park and turn to the passenger’s seat to grab your bag. When you turn back, a startlingly tall figure is trudging through the snow towards you, salmon hair poking out from his hood standing as a dead giveaway as to who it is.
Rolling down your window, you call out to him. “Sukuna?”
He jogs towards you at the sound of your voice, resting his forearms on the edge of your car where the window is lowered. A paper cup adorned in a local coffee shop logo in each of his hands grabs your attention as he dips his head into your car and, more importantly, right into your personal space. Your heart races at the close proximity, keeping your attention on the cups in his hands in an effort to keep your thoughts in order.
“Shit, it’s cold,” he grumbles. “I swear it was just fall.”
Don’t say it, don't say it, don't say it- “You could always light yourself on fire again.”
Sukuna’s face deadpans. “Play your games, brat. I’m more than happy to have your drink,” he sneers, ducking his head back out of his window and into the cold as he attempts to turn away.
“Wait wait wait!” You giggle, reaching out to tug him back into the window as you pull on his coat sleeve. He scowls at you, letting you pull him back into the heat of your car despite his grumpy demeanor.
“D’you want your drink or not?” He grumbles, holding one of the cups out a bit further.
Curiously, you take it from him, smiling as it warms your hands. Bringing the cup up to your lips, you cautiously take a sip, your tongue swiping your lips when you pull it back to look at it with a crease between your brow.
“How’d you know my exact order?” You ask, wracking your brain for if you had told him at some point.
“I’m just that good,” he smirks, taking a sip of his own drink that smells like the most caffeinated black coffee you’ve ever bore witness to.
You narrow your eyes suspiciously at him, but you’re not about to look a gift horse in the mouth, and Sukuna clearly isn’t about to let you in on his secret. With a soft sigh, you resign yourself to not knowing.
“Thanks, Kuna.”
He grunts in reply, taking another sip of his overpoweringly aromatic coffee.
“Are you gonna come study?” You query as you set your drink down in a cup holder to zip up your coat and pull your backpack up over your shoulder. Sukuna backs away from the door as you get out of your car and grab your drink.
“Nah, gotta turn in a paper.”
“See you at lunch, then?” You tilt your head to get a better view of Sukuna towering over you.
He grimaces, a muscle in his jaw tensing. “Suppose so.”
“Don’t sound so excited,” you tease.
“Can’t say I’m lookin’ forward to getting torn apart by your friends.” He takes a sip of his coffee, tucking his other hand into his pocket to fiddle with his lighter, though he’s careful not to start a fire this time.
“I’ll talk to them. It won’t be that bad,” you promise, giving him your best reassuring smile.
Sukuna pauses to examine your expression, his gaze flickering between your eyes and down to your smile. He knows you well enough to spot the crack in your facade, the barely-there flash of doubt in your eyes that tells him that your friends won’t forgive him so easily, but he owes you regardless, so he doesn’t have much of a choice at the end of the day but to trust you.
And trust you, he does. He’s not sure what it is about your calming presence and sunny demeanor, but you seem to pull the best from him and even in the turmoil that his life has become, he finds himself seeking that familiar warmth.
It’s for that reason that he’ll bear whatever it is that your friends deem a necessary punishment for him, even if it irks him.
He hums in reply, glancing down at his watch as he sets the thought aside. “Gotta go. Later,” he says abruptly as he turns to leave in usual Sukuna fashion.
“See you later, thanks for the drink!”
He casts a glance over his shoulder at you with a smirk before throwing his hood up over his head and trudging off into the snow. You follow suit, pulling your hood up with a shiver as the wind whips around you, reminding you just what season it is. Tucking your hands into your pockets, you jog towards the library and barge through the doors with as much poise as you can muster given the cold you’ve just run from.
Shoko’s head lifts from her book as you approach the table where she and Kento are hunched over their textbooks while Haibara is typing away on his laptop. With a huff, you take a seat across from Shoko and beside Kento.
“I can’t believe it got this cold and snowy so quickly,” you whisper, shivering as you toss your coat over the back of the chair.
“Welcome to winter,” Shoko sighs, fiddling with a coffee cup that matches your own.
“Oh!” Haibara looks up from his laptop with a pleased expression. “Good, you did get your drink!”
With a tilt of your head, you hold the paper cup out in front of you, glancing around the table as you realize all three of them have matching cups to yours.
“Yeah, um, Sukuna brought it for me,” you smile, bringing the cup towards your chest as if the thought makes you starstruck. Maybe it does, just a bit. 
“I ran into him at the cafe. He actually came up and said hi, would you believe that? I mean, he just wanted your order, but I thought it was pretty nice for him.” Haibara beams, leaning back in his chair with a bright smile that you share. Kento and Shoko exchange a less enthusiastic glance, privy to information Haibara doesn’t have on your former project partner.
“That explains how he got my order right,” you giggle to yourself, pleased when Haibara laughs along with you. Maybe it’ll be good to have him at your side for lunch today to break the tension between Sukuna and your friends. “Oh yeah, he’s gonna join us for lunch.”
With Haibara sitting at the table, Kento and Shoko keep their mouths shut, but their displeasure doesn’t need to be voiced based on the frowns you receive.
“Can we talk, actually?” Shoko speaks up, pushing herself up from the table.
Your heart drops, but you nod, gingerly following as she leads you into the hall outside the library. It’s dead quiet, even more so than the library itself which was filled with the sounds of paper turning and pens scratching. Now, the silence seems to close in on you as your closest friend turns to you with an exasperated sigh.
“Listen girl, you know I love you.”
“That’s just about the worst start to this I could have hoped for,” you joke with a nervous laugh in hopes of lightening the mood.
Shoko smiles. “I promise it’s not that bad. I’m just worried and I won’t sit by with Kento and watch while Sukuna breaks your heart. Once is a mistake, but twice?”
The guilty look on your face causes her to sigh again, but before you can give her a better explanation, she continues.
“You’re too forgiving for your own good sometimes and I know you didn’t want to mention the kids to Kento, but can you at least tell me what his excuse was? I just want to make sure he isn’t taking advantage of you.”
You chew on your lip, knowing your explanation won’t help Sukuna’s case. “Well, he hasn’t exactly told me, but-”
“He hasn’t told you?” She parrots with a raised brow, rubbing her temple.
“Wait, wait, just listen!” You plead, grabbing her shoulders. “He told me there was an emergency with the kids and he doesn’t want me involved in it. I told him this is his last chance and he’s trying, Sho.”
She grimaces, the gears turning in her mind as she weighs her opinions on him based only on what you’ve told her. “You better have meant it when you told him this is his last chance,” she crosses her arms over her chest. “I know he’s got a lot on his plate but that doesn’t give him any excuse to treat you like you’re disposable.”
“I won’t let him,” you promise. “And he won’t,” you assure her. He hasn’t gained the entirety of your trust back, but you can see that he’s putting in a notable effort to earn it and you want so badly to believe that the Sukuna you’re getting to know will stick around.
In all honesty, you think the begrudgingly kind and thoughtful version of him you’re getting to know is the real Sukuna, beneath the layers of grumpiness and stress and anger that go hand-in-hand with that warmth that he seldom shows around others. Hardened by a life that’s been nothing but tough on him, you’re privy to another side of him. One that has a good time teasing and making jokes, who enjoys music, movies, and video games and has a love for art. Sure, he’s still got an attitude and a penchant for being easily annoyed (and annoying), but behind all those walls is a person that anyone would be happy to spend time with.
He just needs a little bit of help and some rest to show that side of himself, help that he has a hard time accepting over his pride.
With a deep sigh, Shoko resigns to your beseeching. “You really like him, huh?”
Your cheeks warm, unable to hide the smile that finds its way to your lips, although you don’t respond. She has her answer in the form of your giddy smile as you shuffle from one foot to the other.
“I’ve never seen you like this before. The heart wants what it wants, I guess.”
“So you’ll give him a chance at lunch today?” You plead, squeezing her shoulders lightly.
She takes a moment to consider your words before dramatically rolling her eyes as she pulls you in for a hug. “One wrong move and I’m whooping his ass.”
“I won’t stop you, promise.”
She pulls back and begins heading back to the library. “He’s been helping you with History, right? Can we go over that? I’m so behind,” she whispers as she crosses into the library. The sound of pages turning and pencils scribbling is a relief in comparison to the silence of the empty reading week halls.
“Sounds good!”
With a shiver, you brush the snow from your jacket as you make your way into the lunch hall, unzipping it as you’re met with warm air. There’s a few more students around than there has been the last few days, likely the result of the power going out in some of the dorms from the whispers you’d been hearing.
Making your way to your usual table, you pull out some leftovers from a couple of nights ago and make your way to the microwave.
When you return to your seat, the table has gained an air of awkwardness that you suppose you were expecting, and Sukuna is seated to the right of your chair. Haibara seems to be doing what he can to mediate the table and Shoko’s half-hearted replies are better than nothing, at the very least. Kento seems less than pleased, but he’s entertaining Haibara if nothing else.
“Hey!” You beam at Sukuna. His gaze flickers up to you and he nods in reply. The rest of the table seems to relax at your arrival, but the tension remains palpable. Tough crowd.
Taking a seat beside Sukuna, you turn to him as Shoko and Haibara talk about something they watched the night before, entertaining Kento with the drama of it all. “How did turning in your paper go?” You ask the tattooed man who’s leaning against his knuckles, propped up by his elbow on the table.
He yawns before he replies. “Fine. Should get a good grade,” he shrugs nonchalantly.
“I’m glad,” you smile, taking a bite of your lunch. “Did you bring anything to eat?”
“Yeah, leftovers from last night.” With a grunt, he leans down to his bag as though it took a nominal amount of effort, pulling a container from his bag. Setting the container down, he sighs heavily.
With a sympathetic smile, you lower your voice. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” he mumbles, rubbing a hand over his face as he glances around the table to make sure no one’s listening. “Cho’s been having nightmares and it’s catchin’ up with me.”
“Aww,” you pout. “Poor kid.”
“He’ll be alright,” Sukuna assures you, or at least you think he’s assuring you. “They both will.”
You purse your lips, examining the distance in his sunken eyes. You may be sitting beside him, but there’s a strange feeling that you’re watching him from outside, as though there’s a barrier of glass between you. Before you can question him any further, he changes the subject.
“How’s studying for History goin’?” He casts a glance at Shoko, just long enough to catch her eye and invite her into the conversation. It’s small, but it is a noticeable effort from Sukuna to include her.
“We were just going through it, actually. I feel way better about that final already,” you smile, eyes bright as you exchange a glance with Shoko.
Her cautious gaze softens and she nods in agreement. “Yeah. Thanks for the help.”
“Mm.” Sukuna hums, turning towards you with a smirk. “So if I ask about the Berlin Blockade-”
“Oh no,” you groan.
“- you can tell me how many air corridors the Soviets granted for cargo and trades and where they were granted to?”
Sukuna’s pretty sure he sees your eyes glaze over in dread and confusion from just one question, as though your confidence has fizzled out. He chuckles, amused.
“One question at a time. D’ya remember how many air corridors there were?”
You sigh. “This isn’t what I was hoping for when I invited you for lunch,” you grumble as you pull your history textbook out. “Three. There were three.”
“Good. Where were they granted to?”
“Um…” you take a deep breath, wracking your brain for information. “Frankfurt.”
“Mhm.”
“Hamburg.”
“Good.”
You chew on your lip, peering over at him with a blank stare that tells him you haven’t the faintest clue.
“Open your textbook,” he instructs.
You flip to the chapter about the Cold War, searching for information about the Berlin Blockade. Your eyes scan the pages and eventually come across all three locations. “Bückeberg.”
“Good. Who was the foreign minister at the time?”
The look you shoot Sukuna is too cute. You look completely and utterly lost, immediately searching your textbook. “Vyacheslav Molotov,” you reply after a moment, pointing at a black and gray photo of a man.
“Yes,” Sukuna agrees, reaching for your hand. His fingers are rough and calloused when he wraps them around yours, moving your hand an inch to the left to a different photo. “But you pointed at Stalin.”
“O- oh.” You tear your gaze from his much larger hand wrapped around yours to the two photos, using every shred of willpower you can muster to commit the photos to memory. Whether it’s because you’re burnt out on studying, or because the size of Sukuna’s hand is sending your mind reeling to places you’re not willing to admit aloud, your heart is pounding and you can only pray Sukuna’s fingers aren’t low enough on your wrist to feel your pulse. “My bad,” you barely manage to whisper.
Sukuna pulls his hand back, laying it next to yours on the table. “You were close,” he shrugs, not thinking much of it.
With a sharp intake of breath to clear your head, you pull your notebook aside and write down the answers you missed. “I should know this by now,” you mutter more to yourself than anyone else. Barely audibly, you tack on, “we’ve studied so much.”
Sukuna arches a brow, thoughtfully looking down at you. “It’s not a big deal. You actually know the history itself well, you’re just bad with names, dates, and faces.”
With pursed lips, you give him your attention, considering his words for a moment.
“What’s the reason for the Berlin Blockade?” He quizzes.
“To weaken Germany,” you reply without a moment’s thought.
He smirks, nudging your shoulder and keeping in close proximity with you. “See, you’re fine. That’s why I’ve been quizzin’ you on the more important shit.”
“I guess you’re right. Won’t there be a lot of names on the test though?”
“Nah. It’s like a seventy-thirty split,” he shrugs.
“Thirty’s a lot,” you mumble, your face falling at the thought of getting a seventy, and that’s only if you get a perfect score across every other question.
“Seventy is a lot,” he corrects, a playful smirk slathered across his lips. “Or are you a princess about your grades?” He teases as his lips turn up into a grin.
You force a smile, entertaining his teasing. “I know you’re right, but-” you pause, looking up into those striking crimson irises. He’s so close to you and regards you with so much mirth that your breath unintentionally hitches in your throat. “- um,” you continue shakily, “I could lose my scholarship if my grades aren’t good enough.”
Sukuna’s eyes briefly widen. “You’re on a scholarship?”
“Yeah, I need higher than a seventy on this final.”
He lets out a long breath through his nose. “Alright then, princess. We’ll aim higher.”
Did your mouth just go dry from one word? God are you really in that deep?
“Thanks, Kuna.” You nudge him back, earning you another entirely too handsome grin.
“Mm.” His grin falters at the nickname, but he forces down his disdain for it.
You’re so caught up in your conversation with Sukuna, that you don’t see Haibara kick Kento and Shoko from under the table and direct their attention to your interactions with Sukuna. Even stoic Kento who was beyond pissed with Sukuna can’t deny that the sight could weaken even the hardest resolve against the man.
“I don’t WANNA!”
You lower your fist from Sukuna’s door the following night, pausing at the chaos from within his apartment. The anger and frustration just beyond the door is practically bursting out into the hall and you’re sure the moment it opens, it’ll metaphorically slap you in the face. Taking in a sharp breath, you raise your hand again.
“I won’t ask again,” comes Sukuna’s raised voice, straining to keep his anger down.
… And now you can hear sobbing.
You softly tap your knuckles against the door, half expecting to need to wait for someone to let you in but Sukuna swings the door open immediately. It slams shut behind you once you’ve cleared the entryway and the scene inside is equally as ugly as it sounds.
Choso is nowhere to be seen, Yuji is in tears and Sukuna is about to blow a gasket.
Oh boy.
“What’s- um-” You pause, debating whether you should even ask. “- Going on?” You question mousily.
“Go on brat, what’s going on?” Sukuna hisses, his chest rising and falling as fury courses through his veins.
Yuji’s too busy sobbing to reply, shaking his head adamantly as he wipes at his face, snot running down his chin.
“Fucking christ,” Sukuna mutters, exasperated. He runs a hand through his pink hair, turning on his heel away from the scene in an effort to keep calm. Whatever patience he’d had for this had run dry during their walk home from school and with the mess his life had become, he was already worn extremely thin.
As Yuji continues to bawl and Sukuna leans over the kitchen counter gathering himself, you decide to step in.
You make your way across the living room to Yuji, kneeling down in front of him. “Hey, sweetheart.” Your voice is gentle and you offer a sympathetic smile. “Everything’s alright, don’t cry,” you soothe as you reach out and gently rub the sides of his arms. “Do you want a hug?”
Yuji nods adamantly, hiccuping through the tears as he reaches out for you. You pull him in for a tight hug, rubbing his back reassuringly. Sure to keep your voice soft and gentle, you give him a moment before speaking up.
“What happened, Yu?”
“K-Kuna’s-” sniffle. “- he’s m-making me get a-” Yuji’s voice breaks as the tears set in again. “A-” hiccup. “- needleeeeee.” He sobs into your shoulder, burying his face into your neck. You let out a breath at the realization that it’s just an argument that’s been blown completely out of proportion. Life was so much easier when the hardest thing you had to endure was vaccinations.
“I’m sorry honey,” you coo, continuing to rub his back. You let him sob into your shoulder before pulling back to look at him. At the sight of your face, so gentle and calm, he starts to sniffle more and less tears flow down his cheeks. “There you go,” you smile, noticing now that there’s a very crumpled piece of paper in his hand.
Yuji wipes his face on his arm, his breath coming in short gasps as he slowly calms down.
“Can I see that?” You ask, holding your hand out.
“No,” he whines, holding it behind his back.
“Alright,” you smile again, deciding it’s best to reason with him.
You cast a glance back to Sukuna. His palms are splayed on the counter as he leans his weight over the surface, staring down at it. All of his muscles are tense as his back rises and falls steadily with each breath he uses to calm his own anger. They really are two sides of the same coin.
“Is your school doing vaccinations?”
Yuji nods.
“Is that your permission form?”
He shakes his head.
“Are you lying?”
He hesitates before nodding. You have to stifle a laugh at his completely shameless lie, your smile lopsided.
“Can we talk it through?” You ask, sitting cross-legged before Yuji.
He blinks a few times as he considers your question before plopping himself down on the floor in front of you. He glances down at the way you’re seated, following suit and setting his permission form juuust out of reach. Sneaky kid.
“Are you scared of needles?”
Yuji’s silent, thinking for a moment before he decidedly nods.
“Okay, that’s normal. Are you afraid it’ll hurt?” You query, tilting your head at him.
“It will,” he replies with an edge of certainty, sniffling.
“Maybe for a moment, but do you know what the needle’s for?”
“Um-” he wipes under his eyes, his face scrunching up in deep thought. “- no.”
“It’s so that you don’t get sick. Do you remember being sick the other week, sweetheart?”
“... yeah.” He continues to sniffle and wipe at his face, looking up at you between each movement as he waits for you to continue.
“Well, there’s sicknesses that are a lot worse than that, and your brother doesn’t want you to get them,” you explain, glancing back at the sound of Sukuna shuffling. He pushes himself up from the counter, listening as intently as Yuji is as he makes his way a short distance behind you. His disgruntled expression trains on the sight of you sitting alongside his little brother, but he’s silent. “Don’t you think it’s worth it to get poked for a moment and not get one of those sicknesses?”
Yuji’s gaze flickers between you and his older brother towering over both of you as he thinks about it. You give him all the time he needs, even as Sukuna’s foot begins tapping impatiently. He’s an adult, he can wait. “I guess,” Yuji finally agrees, averting his gaze.
“Do you think you can be brave for me and get a needle, then?” You ask, your gentle smile remaining in place the whole time.
It takes a moment, but Yuji nods.
“Can I have that paper, Yu?”
He gingerly reaches behind him and passes you the crumpled paper. Tilting your head up to Sukuna, you pass it up to him. He walks over to the table, signs it, and returns it to Yuji.
“You better give this to your teacher,” he growls as he hands it back to Yuji. The little boy frowns, staring down at the ground in shame as he sniffles. Tears threaten his eyes again and you sigh.
“Sukuna, please,” your tone is soft with him as well, pleading for understanding between the two.
A muscle in his jaw tightens as his frustrated gaze zeros in on you, but he second-guesses whatever snappy words are about to spill from his lips, choosing instead to keep his mouth shut. His lips press into a thin line, furiously glaring at you and Yuji.
“Can you promise your brother, sweetheart?”
He’s still quietly sniffling as he nods, unable to look either of you in the eye. You let out a soft sigh, rubbing at the crease between your brows. At least they’d come to some kind of peace, even if Sukuna is audibly huffing behind you while Yuji sniffles.
Pushing yourself to your feet, you offer a hand to Yuji, who takes it and lets you drag (yes, drag) him back up to his feet, quietly fiddling with the hem of his Sonic the Hedgehog shirt.
With a glance at Sukuna, clad in a plain white V-neck and sweatpants, you catch a glimpse of his tattoos and an idea pops into your mind. “You know, Yuji, your brother is super brave.”
The little boy’s head tilts in a silent question, just as Sukuna is looking at you with arms crossed over his chest. You take a step towards the older of the two brothers, avoiding his gaze to conceal your racing heart. Gingerly, you reach for his wrist and tug lightly on it. His lip twitches in a frown as he stays soundly in place, relenting finally when you tilt your head.
Fuck, it’s cute when you do that.
He lets you pull his wrist down towards Yuji, his expression unchanging as you point out his tattoos. “Your brother got thousands of needles for his tattoos, did you know that?” Your thumb rubs circles into Sukuna’s skin and he wonders if you know you’re doing it at all, his full attention trained on the action. Whether consciously or not, you seem to be trying to soothe him, and the fact that it’s working only further complicates the feelings bubbling in Sukuna’s chest.
Yuji peers up nervously with reddened eyes and puffy cheeks at his older brother. “Really?” He rasps quietly, his voice strained from crying.
“That’s right,” you grin. “Can you be brave like your brother?”
Yuji reaches out and presses a finger to Sukuna’s wrist, as if feeling for raised skin, only to find it’s smooth. “Like Kuna,” he nods in agreement, showing you the saddest smile you’ve ever seen through his tear-stained face.
“Like Kuna,” you agree, rustling the little boy’s salmon hair. He smiles more happily now, running off with his permission slip to slide it into his backpack.
Sukuna lets out a long breath as you drop his wrist. “Fuck,” he mutters.
“Need to cry it out in my arms, too?” You tease with a grin.
“Don’t push your luck, woman.” Even as he rolls his eyes at you, you catch the short exhale of breath from his nose reminiscent of a laugh.
“The offer stands,” you shrug cheekily, heading over to the table to set your bag down. You pull your history textbook out, alongside your notebook and some cue cards you prepared after submitting your paper last night. You skimmed through your textbook to put together cue cards with names, dates, and locations and their relations to historic events after Sukuna had pointed out that you seem to have the rest of the subject down.
Setting everything across the table, you peer over your shoulder at Sukuna’s distant gaze. You’ve seen this expression on him before, a forlorn glaze over his eyes as though he’s not present, completely lost in thought.
“Are you okay?”
Sukuna blinks twice, coming back to the present. A knot forms between his brows, as though he’s offended you might suggest he isn’t. “‘M fine.”
He’s lying, but you have no right to the truth, so you accept it with a nod.
No longer distracted, he runs a hand through his spiked hair, pushing a few loose strands back off of his forehead. His attention returns fully to you, though with a glance down at your white blouse, he wrinkles his nose.
“What?” You ask, looking down only to find yourself mirroring his expression. “Oh.”
Your blouse is a downright mess of snot and tears and while the tears will dry… well the same can’t be said for the snot. You frown, heading to the sink to wet a washcloth.
“Don’t bother,” Sukuna grumbles, striding into a room down the hall that you assume is his. He re-emerges a moment later with the first shirt he could find that doesn’t have the sleeves cut off. You reach out for the material as he tosses it to you.
“Thanks,” you smile, a faint heat rising to your cheeks at the prospect of wearing his shirt. Ducking away quickly to the washroom, you pull your blouse over your head and replace it with the black T-shirt, looking down at the material flowing over your body and thighs. You can’t help but giggle at the sight while Sukuna’s scent invades your senses, a comforting smokey and woodsy smell that makes you dizzy.
Straightening the shirt over your body, you nod to yourself in the mirror before re-emerging into the main living space. You can make out Sukuna’s form leaning over the balcony railing with no jacket on, even in the freezing weather. He catches a glimpse of you from the corner of his eye, taking a long final drag from his cigarette before he stubs it out in an ashtray and steps back inside.
“I think it’s a little big on me,” you giggle in reference to the shirt, cheeks remaining warm as you gingerly link your hands behind your back, rocking forward and back on your heel.
The tattooed man’s eyes trail the length of your body, the red of his irises disappearing as he does so. You cross your arms over yourself, suddenly feeling self-conscious under his sharp gaze.
He clears his throat, running his tongue over his lower lip. “Yeah, well. I’m six foot eleven, and you’re fuckin’ short.” He averts his gaze, willing his dick not to react right now. He’s already well aware of his attraction to you, and he’s sure that if he just found the time to get laid he could bury that feeling. What’s more important is that he considers you to be someone genuinely important in his life, regardless of the fact that he can’t give you a label. He’s not about to jeopardize whatever he has with you because of how hot you are and how much his dick is well aware of it.
He’s seen the looks you give him, too. Every hitch of your breath, every nervous glance away from him. He knows there’s a mutual attraction between you, but it’s one that no matter how much his sex drive seems to disagree, he knows he can’t pursue. There’s more to your connection than sex, and one night isn’t worth the effort he’s put into fixing things with you.
He can’t put a name to that connection, but he values it regardless.
“Type… O Negative?” You interrupt Sukuna’s thoughts, reading the bold green logo on the shirt as your eyes trace the heart monitor logo in matching green beneath the text. Most of the band shirts he wears have logos with the most bizarre font they’re nearly unreadable, so you can’t help but wonder if this is even a band at all. Meeting his gaze again, you tilt your head.
Sukuna’s cock twitches in his sweats. Shit, he should have worn jeans. He coughs into his elbow, leaning back against the table in an effort to hide his growing need. “They’re a band.”
“Oh, cool!” You smile, your eyes crinkling at the corners.
Getting up suddenly, Sukuna mutters something about needing to get ready for work and saunters off, leaving you standing by the table alone. You shrug it off, attempting to roll up the sleeves of the shirt and tuck it into the waistband of your leggings as best as you can in the hopes of making yourself look less like you’re in pajamas. Once you’re satisfied with the best look you think you can pull off, you take a seat at the table and begin putting together your cue cards.
Throwing yourself into your studies, you begin going through your cue cards in silence until Sukuna returns a short while later. The locks over his forehead are damp and he’s in a clean set of navy coveralls when he sits at the table beside you.
“What leaders made an effort to end the Cold War?” He quizzes, leaning over the table without so much as a glance at your cue cards.
“Reagan!”
“And?”
“Um- Gorbachev…?”
“Atta girl,” Sukuna smirks, giving your shoulder a light shove as your eyes light up, cheeks noticeably warm.
“Thank god I’m getting somewhere with all this studying,” you chuckle to yourself, straightening your cue cards. “I’m so burnt out on schoolwork,” you sigh, dropping the cards to the table.
“Why not take a break then?” Sukuna asks through a yawn.
“I can’t,” you frown, offering no further explanation. His brow arches questioningly. “I still need your help.”
His eyes flicker between yours, before dropping to your cue cards. “No ya don’t. You know the material and you’ve got cue cards for the shit you don’t remember. You’re set.”
You follow his gaze to the colorful cards with your handwriting scrawled over them in black ink. “You think so?”
“‘Course. You’re smarter than I am.”
The burly man leans forward over the table on his palm, yawning as silence sets in while you glance over your study materials. It doesn’t take long before you realize he’s in a trance, staring blankly straight ahead with a familiar distant expression.
Frowning, you have to resist the urge to reach out and pull him towards you. Maybe it’s because you’ve spent so much time with his brothers, but something about the idea of pulling him into a comforting hug feels right.
As though your body is actively working against you, your hand instinctively reaches for him. Sukuna’s gaze reflexively locks onto your hand that rests on his bicep, rubbing his tensed arm. A muscle works in his jaw as his irises flit up to you, something unreadable gleaming in his intense stare.
At the realization that you did reach out after all, you hesitantly pull back, somewhat surprised he didn’t smack your hand away in irritation. “Sorry, I…” But you have no excuse, so you trail off, awaiting his reaction.
Sukuna makes a show out of rolling his eyes, using his free hand to pull your hand back down to his bicep before leaning forward over the table and resting his chin over his elbow. He yawns again, his muscles slowly relaxing beneath your hand. You smile softly as Sukuna accepts your comfort, accepts you, and simply enjoy the comfortable silence while you use your spare hand to go through your cue cards.
His eyes are heavy as he stares blankly out the window opposite the table, the lull of sleep threatening to pull him under. As much as Sukuna hates to admit it, there’s little more tempting as of late than simply sleeping through his problems, and his mind goes blank as he eventually gives in to the temptation.
Sukuna’s breathing steadies beneath your hand, and you count your blessings that you’ve watched the kids during this shift before and you know that he has twenty minutes before he needs to leave. It might be the first time you’ve seen Sukuna completely relaxed, his jaw slack and shoulders loose. Pink strands of hair fall over his forehead, his lips only slightly parted as he breathes softly.
You gently rub circles into his arm, smiling softly at just how comfortable he’s grown with you. It touches you to see him able to simply be around you in such a way. Although you’d be lying to say you don’t want more than what you have with him, you’re grateful you have anything at all given his icy disposition. You’ve come a long way from the one-word answers and constant frustration.
Even if it’s always under the guise of an equivalent exchange, you’re glad he allows you to help him. Ever since you’ve been watching his little brothers more, he doesn’t seem as tired all the time (not that this particular moment proves that point), and you’re seeing more and more glimpses of the side of him most don’t get to see.
Your heart does a flip as his muscles twitch in his sleep beneath your fingers. He’s always trusted you on a relatively surface-level given that he lets you watch his brothers, but falling asleep under your touch is a surprising level of intimacy and reliance.
It’s a shame that twenty minutes passes so fast as you squeeze his arm in an effort to wake him.
“Stop,” he grumbles, swatting your hand away. Well, the peace can’t last forever you suppose. You give him another shake, which he certainly doesn’t appreciate. “What’d I just fuckin’ say?”
“You have work soon, Sukuna,” you giggle, giving him another shove. He cracks an eye open, his brow pulled down in a grumpy frown. He lifts his head slowly, squinting groggily at you with the imprint of the fabric of his coveralls on his cheek. You have to suppress another giggle at the disheveled glower being thrown at you.
“Fuck me,” he grumbles, rolling his shoulders before he pushes himself up from the table. He pushes his hair from his forehead and saunters around the apartment as he gathers what he needs before throwing on his coat.
“Oh, hey, where’s Choso?” You query as Sukuna fiddles with his keys.
He shrugs. “In his room, probably. He doesn’t like when Yuji cries.”
That makes sense from what you know of the middle sibling.
“Oh. He has homework due, can you make sure he does it?” Sukuna asks as he opens the front door. You nod. “I owe you one.”
Never a thank you with Sukuna, always him owing you.
“See you later, Kuna!”
The door shuts behind him and you let out a sigh, going to check on the two young boys. You knock on the door that’s slightly ajar, poking your head into their room when Yuji tells you to come in. There’s a mess of colored threads, strings, and beads strewn over a desk that they’re both crowded around, while Choso’s homework is buried beneath the mess of craft supplies.
Yuji hops off the chair and opens the door wider for you. Grinning, you let him tug you over to their table. Standing behind them both, you peer at what looks like a pile of (attempted) bead lizards with feet that don’t quite make sense.
“How are you both doing?” You figure after the tension when you walked into the apartment, they could probably use the opportunity to do a mental check-in with you. It’s not like Sukuna would be up for it, so you may as well try with his brothers.
“I’m sorry,” Yuji says as he fiddles with thread, not looking up from the very important lopsided lizard in his tiny hands. His tongue pokes out from the side of his mouth as he focuses on his craft.
“I know Yu, Kuna just has a lot going on right now. It’s okay,” you rub his back gently before turning your attention to his brother, “Choso?”
The dark-haired brother chews on his lip as he slides beads onto a thread. “I’m okay. I don’t like when they fight.” Deep in thought, his movements pause before he pulls two threads tight to keep the beads from falling off and sets a purple lizard head on the desk. “Um- I found this.”
He shoves some stray threads aside and hands you a familiar corner of paper addressed to his older brother adorned with a law firm logo. “I saw this,” you tell Choso, rounding the table to his side in an attempt to keep his brother from being involved. It’s not like he’s old enough to understand either way. “Do you know anything about it?”
He shakes his head.
“Me either,” you tell him. “If your brother wants to tell me, then he will. I’m sure everything’s okay,” you reassure despite not being so sure yourself. Sukuna is strong-willed, smart, and beyond capable. Most could never manage what he’s pulling off, but a lawsuit is another issue entirely. Sukuna’s got a mouth on him and a penchant for fighting if the rumors are true, so you can only imagine what trouble he’s gotten himself into.
Choso picks his lizard back up, sliding three purple beads onto one side of the string. “Okay.” He threads the other side back through the beads and pulls the string tight to keep them in place. “I trust you.”
You smile, ruffling his hair. “Do you need help with the feet?” You ask with a glance at the lizards with lopsided and mismatched feet.
“Please!”
“Yes!”
You can worry about Choso’s homework in a bit. For now, you think both kids could use some time relaxing and doing some crafts as you pull up a chair.
Sukuna drags a hand down his face as he enters his apartment to the sound of two kids who are still very awake. Excited screams fill the apartment, alongside your saccharine voice that he can only assume is attempting to corral the kids based on your stern tone.
Dropping his keys on the table at the door, he kicks his boots to the side and shrugs his coat off, ready for a shower and dead silence alone in his room more than anything. He trudges tiredly towards the washroom, his lips twitching into a frown as Yuji goes bolting past him, followed closely by Choso.
“Go to bed, brats!” He hisses, his voice gruff with irritation as he makes his way to the washroom.
You barely manage to see the door closing behind your friend as you trail after the two boys, who’ve been balls of energy all night since Choso finished his homework. It’s sweet, of course, but your burnt out mind wasn’t prepared for them to have this much energy when you agreed to watch them.
As both boys turn and come barreling past you, you barely manage to catch Yuji and hoist him up into your arms, effectively stopping their game of tag.
“Nooooooooo!!” Yuji cries out between excited giggles. Choso skids to a halt in front of you with a disappointed frown.
“Come on, kiddos. You have school tomorrow, it’s bedtime.”
You’re met with a chorus of whines and sighs as you carry Yuji to their room. Choso trails close behind, pouting as you instruct them to get ready for bed. You help Yuji with pulling his hoodie over his head and choosing a pair of pajamas before giving them time to finish getting ready.
Yuji bursts from the door in a fit of giggles, running towards the cracked door of Sukuna’s room. “Yuji, come on it’s bedti-” you call after him as you follow him through the cracked door, eyes widening at the sight of Sukuna shirtless, his hair damp and hanging over his forehead. He must have finished his shower while you were trying to get his brothers to calm down. He shoots both of you an irritated snarl, his lip curled in frustration. “Sorry!” You squeak out, corralling Yuji out the door before Sukuna can bark out an order to get out of his room.
Your heart pounds, mind distant as you manage to get both kids into bed and read them Green Eggs and Ham. Once they’ve settled and you’re certain they’ll get some rest, you’re able to leave their room with a sigh, heading back to the main living space of the apartment, but Sukuna doesn’t seem to have made his way out of his room yet.
He doesn’t seem to be in the greatest mood and you consider taking your leave without a word, but figure that’s probably more rude than simply knocking on his door. Deciding to do exactly that, you make your way over to his bedroom and lightly tap his door with your knuckles.
“Come in.”
You push the door open, standing stiffly just within the frame. His room is decorated fairly dark with blacks, grays, and reds, only the dim light of a single lamp illuminating the room enough to be seen. There’s a desk pushed to one end of the room covered in workout gear, books, and various art supplies and a pile of clothes tossed over the desk chair, while his wardrobe off to the right is covered in hygiene supplies with only a single photo that you can’t make out in the relative dark. The light from his bedside lamp hardly illuminates the posters and art on his walls, which seem to be a variety of band posters, horror film posters, and his own art. There’s a drafting table opposite his wardrobe absolutely plastered in art supplies as well, with charcoal smeared over the wood.
“You just gonna stand there lookin’ like a fish outta water?” Sukuna asks from where he’s leaning against the headboard of his bed in the center of the room. His nose is buried in his laptop, the dull glow lighting up his features. Crimson irises gleam like deep drops of blood as you round the room, taking a look around as you realize he is genuinely inviting you in. As you step towards his wardrobe, your eyes train on the photo that you can now make out in the dim light.
There’s an older man with hair that matches Yuji and Sukuna’s standing to one side of the photo. Toddler Yuji is sound asleep with his head on the man’s shoulder, with Choso in the center in a graduation cap. You assume it must be an elementary school graduation or something of the sort. Sukuna stands much taller than everyone else in the photo at the back with a mild expression. He’s noticeably taller, with no facial tattoos although you can faintly make out his neck tattoos.
In the corner of the image, there’s a piece missing, and you can see that at one point there was a woman in the side of the photo, her dress visible behind Choso. Her face has been cut out of the photo and you can’t make out a single feature aside from the end of her hair. It looks fairly similar to Choso’s, long and dark. You figure this must be their parents, and Sukuna isn’t fond of his mother.
“He was a lot better with them.” You glance back at Sukuna as he shuts his laptop, setting it on his bedside table. It’s then that you realize he’s still shirtless, your gaze falling way too obviously down to his sculpted abdomen. He looks like a goddamn sculpture by Michaelangelo himself, made by a god in his craft. The peaks and valleys of his abs could make even the strongest person’s mouth water and you would be lying if you said it wasn’t a great effort to tear your gaze from his abs. Now’s not the time. Swallowing hard, you find his eyes.
Sukuna would usually smirk, finding amusement in your inability to keep your eyes on his face, but the can of worms he’s just opened isn’t one he approaches lightly. He’s willingly offering up a piece of his vulnerability to you, leaving the ball in your court.
“That’s your dad?” You ask, turning to look at the photo again.
“Mhm. He put in a lotta when their mom left to work in another country.”
“Their mom? You’re half-brothers, then?” You carefully approach the bed, taking a seat gingerly at the side.
“Yeah. Our dad sure knew how to pick ‘em.” There’s a story there for sure, but he’s already moving on before you can pry. “He knew how to handle the brats. They were happy.”
You slide further onto the bed, leaning against the headboard beside him. “They’re happy with you too, Sukuna.”
His eyes slowly slide down from the ceiling to meet your gaze. He contemplates your words for a moment, a forlorn sigh parting his lips. “It ain’t the same.”
You shuffle to face him, sitting cross-legged as you will your eyes to stay on his face. “Sukuna, you’re good with them. You care and you’re trying, that’s what matters.”
He scoffs, shaking his head. “Good with them, my ass.” He crosses his arms over his chest. “You saw what happened earlier. Choso was afraid of me n’ Yuji was cryin’.” He drags his hand down his face. “Shit’s a disaster here. I’m never even home to look after ‘em.”
You blink as he airs his grievances with the world, with himself. “You’re joking, right?”
Sukuna’s head lolls dramatically towards you, face tense with frustration. “Do I look like I am, princess?”
A shiver runs up your spine but you keep your eyes (and mind) straight on his face. “Seriously, you are good with them. You’re allowed to be frustrated, just like Yuji’s allowed to be afraid. He’s a kid, he’s gonna make a big deal out of little things.” You offer a sympathetic smile. “And Choso’s not afraid of you. He’s worried about you.”
“Worried about what?” Sukuna’s face scrunches in confusion. “The fuck is a twelve-year-old doin’ worrying about me?”
You giggle at his brutish expression, diffusing his frustration. He blows a breath out through his lips, running a hand through his hair that’s gradually drying as you speak. The silence that envelops the both of you is calm, the lamp providing an air of warmth as you work through Sukuna’s worries. The soft orange glow of the bulb illuminates his features in such a handsome manner that it’s hard to sit next to him without stray thoughts.
“Choso may only be twelve, but he’s smart. He knows something’s off. We both do.”
His eyes shoot up, his stare intensifying. “Nothing’s off,” he growls sternly, as if trying to convince himself.
“So Yuji gets his lying habits from you, huh?” You tease, keeping your voice soft as you prod at his thigh.
“I’m not lying, fuck off with that,” he grouses, swatting your hand away. You quietly giggle to yourself again, paying no mind to his pointed stare.
“Was your dad this stubborn too?”
You’re not shocked that Sukuna’s response to your teasing is to roll his eyes, but he still entertains a response. “No. He was a teacher, he had the patience of a god.”
“That’s right, he was a history teacher, wasn’t he?”
“Mm.”
“Was he an artist too?”
“No. That’s all me.”
You slide up the bed, inching somewhat closer to him again as you lean back against the headrest, looking around the room at the art above his drafting table. “You’re a great artist, Kuna.”
He hums, following your gaze to the wall where he’s plastered anatomy practice and art of faceless figures. He doesn’t get much time to work on any art these days, but given the opportunity, he would certainly do it more.
His gaze drifts to your face, so calm and inquisitive in spite of his frosty and rough edges. You hardly seem bothered by anything he throws your way, accepting his relative rudeness in stride and he’s not sure he deserves that kindness. No, he knows he doesn’t. Still, sitting here with you, bathed in the soft light of his lamp, he finds himself seeking the comfort of your voice, so soft and understanding as you offer him genuine advice and listen to his gripes without belittling him.
You come from a world so obviously different from his, yet you never seem to see him as anything less than what he is. Hell, you see him as something more than he sees in himself, as much as he hates to admit it. Maybe that’s why he finds himself drawn to you. Maybe that’s why your absence caused him so much trouble.
In truth, he’s not so sure anymore.
There’s a lot he’s not so sure about anymore.
He basks in the silence, sighing deeply as he slumps further back against the headboard. “I think they might be better off in the hands of someone else.”
Your eyes widen, your head whipping over to stare at him. “What? You don’t seriously think that.”
“Do I sound like I’m making a fuckin’ joke?” He huffs, his jaw tense.
“Sukuna, you’re literally their hero. They look up to you more than you could ever imagine.”
He blanches, all signs of irritation dropped as his brow twitches and lips part. The expression on his face is unreadable, a mix of emotions that aren’t familiar on his chiselled features. With a sharp intake of breath, he shuts his eyes, rubbing his hands over his face.
“Kuna?”
“Gimme a moment, fuck.” His voice is muffled through his hands, remaining frozen as he lets out a long sigh. When he drops his hands from his face, he stares down at his lap with that same distant and solemn expression from earlier. You let the silence be at his request, giving him a chance to work through his jumbled thoughts.
Breathing in through his nose, he lets out a breath through pursed lips, his hand reaching for your leg as he squeezes the plush of your thigh. His jaw clenches as he clings to you like a lifeline, the only thing able to ground him and keep him from the thoughts that have been causing him to go through three times his usual dose of nicotine.
And fuck, he cannot afford to keep going through cigarettes at that rate.
Your mind is doing circles at the feeling of his touch on your leg of all places, the heat of his skin warming your leggings.
Blinking, you tilt your head to get a better view of him. “Where’s this all coming from anyway? What happened to the cocky asshole I met a couple of months ago?”
That seems to bring him back as he scowls at you, deflecting your question. “Really runnin’ your mouth for someone whose dinner came from my fridge.”
“Hey! I consider that payment for watching your brothers. Besides, my cooking is great. You should be happy I made you leftovers,” you pout.
He smirks, playfully squeezing your thigh and sending a jolt of heat straight to your core. You swallow to keep yourself from having a noticeable reaction, keeping your attention on a non-descript area of the wall. “Who’s the cocky one now, princess?”
Even with his hand heavy on your thigh, his teasing is so normal that it almost makes you forget that the heat between your legs is begging for friction that you can’t chase because he would feel your thighs clench.
“What can I say? My cooking’s that good.”
“Your cooking ends up on my fucking floor most of the time.”
“The bread crumbs were one time, Sukuna,” you whine, playfully shaking your head.
“From you, maybe. Choso tried to copy your mac and cheese and even convinced my dumb ass he knew how to do it.” Sukuna scoffs, tilting his head towards you. The warmth of his breath fans your neck as he leans in. “D’you know what happened?” He asks, his voice lowered enough to make your heart flutter.
You wince. “Bread crumbs on the floor.”
“Bread crumbs on the fuckin’ floor.”
You bring a hand up to your face, giggling. To your surprise, Sukuna’s chest jolts in a single sputtered laugh, until he’s actually chuckling along with you. Not a smug laugh, not making fun of something, your laughter is contagious and his is genuine.
Comfortable silence finds you, simply enjoying one another’s company. The dull light in his lamp flickers, pulling both of your attention to the bulb on its last legs. Your eyes trail the length of his silhouette, admiring the way his tattoos frame his face. The dark contrast of the solid ink makes the crimson of his irises pop, giving his already sharp features a more deadly appearance.
Everything about him seems to signify a lethal edge; between the way he carries himself, shutting the world out and fending only for himself and his brothers, and his inclination towards frustration. Yet, every so often, you see another side to him, a side where the edges are softer and he seems more himself.
That’s not to say those rougher edges aren’t still there, but the calmer side of him rounds him out and makes his snark more endearing.
Sukuna’s the first to turn back from the lamp, gaze flickering between your eyes. His chest rises and falls, the quiet sounds of his breath punctuating the otherwise silent room.
Sukuna can hear your breath hitch when you realize he’s staring, using the opportunity to squeeze your thigh. It pulls a strangled gasp from deep in your chest and your eyes widen. He can’t help himself, the way your body reacts to him is like a narcotic, and he can’t help but want more.
There’s never been a moment since you met that Sukuna hasn’t known you find him attractive. It’s why he enjoys pushing your buttons so much, but when you slipped so easily alongside him in his personal life, you became something more than a quick fuck. Someone to keep around. Someone who betters him.
In the dim glow of his lamp, laid out on his bed with his palm splayed over your thigh like it belongs there, something deeper stirs within him. Lust, surely. Only lust. You’re in his goddamn shirt, and he’s hungry. He’s starved for the feeling of bare skin slapping against his own, and you’re so damn gorgeous, like a cloud to any amount of judgment he can manage.
And you’re no better. You’ve been biting your lip until it’s raw as you resist the urge to clench your thighs since he invited you in. Sukuna’s not a traditional man, in all of your daydreams and fantasies, you had never imagined him treating you to dinner and romantically confessing. You never had broad expectations for anything extravagant from him.
That’s not what you want from him. You just want him as he is. You want him to let you in, to let you help him find himself and find happiness.
The air around you is charged, crackling with anticipation as his barriers begin to degrade and you let out a shaky breath. The world seems to hold its breath around you, the bustling city so quiet you could hear a pin drop as its noise fades into the background.
Sukuna’s tongue swipes over his lower lip, all reason thrown to the wolves as he leans over you and presses his lips to yours.
His lips are commanding, guiding you towards one thing and one thing only: pleasure. He moves his body over top of yours, caging you beneath his muscular build. You’re so small under him and the control he exerts over you is exhilarating.
The kiss is sloppy, filled with desperation as he settles himself over you, letting his hands roam your body. You’re pliant beneath him, thrilling in the way his hands slide down your waist to your hips. His grip tightens, fingers holding you in-place almost bruisingly. Your pussy throbs, clenching around nothing as slick pools between your thighs.
Consequences be damned, you’re both addicted to the taste and feel of one another.
Sukuna softly bites your lower lip, pulling a whimper from deep in your throat. He smirks against your lips, pressing his hardened bulge against your core. He swallows your gasp, running his tongue along your lower lip as he seeks entrance. You grant him what he’s looking for, drunk on his taste, minty with a hint of smoke.
Sliding your hands up his tense arms, you find purchase in gripping his shoulders as your head spins. He rolls his hips again, revelling in the feel of your nails digging into his bare skin. Getting your bearings, you allow your hands to explore the expanse of his chest, roaming down the high peaks and deep valleys of his extremely pronounced abs. You pause at his waistband, unable to help your smirk as he groans, his abdomen tensing under your touch.
He’s desperate for more, pressing you further into the bed as his lips explore your jaw, dipping his head into your neck to suck and nip at the sensitive skin. You tilt your head to grant him easier access, jaw slack and eyes glazed. His breath noticeably quickens when your fingers dip beneath his waistband, but you pause there.
You pull back suddenly, pushing hard against his chest as you practically have to peel him off of you.
“What’re-”
You slap a palm over his mouth, muffling the rest of his question until he can hear why you’ve paused. The sound of sock-clad footsteps on hardwood catches his attention and he quickly pulls away, putting enough distance between you to imply innocence. Sukuna pulls a pillow out from behind him, grunting as he sets it on his lap and leans his head back against the headboard. 
Shortly after, the doorknob clicks and cracks open, a pair of golden-brown eyes peering into the room. Reddened and filled with tears, your mind sobers quickly as you hop off the bed and jog over to Choso to kneel before him.
“Hey, what’s going on?” You ask, taking in a breath to keep from panting.
“I had a nightmare.”
Ah. Sukuna had mentioned Choso had been having a lot of nightmares lately and it seemed to be keeping him up. You wonder if it’s related to his concerns regarding his older brother and the lawsuit. He may be young, but he seems to have a general understanding of the gravity of getting lawyers involved in situations.
Knowing what you know now about Sukuna’s family, you wonder if he’s been around lawyers before, given their father’s passing. Then there’s the question of Choso and Yuji’s mother, who’s clearly not in the picture anymore.
Quite literally.
You cast another glance back at Sukuna, whose chest is rising and falling heavily as he stares at the ceiling.
“That’s okay sweetheart, do you want me to come talk to you for a bit?”
Choso glances briefly at his brother before nodding. Smiling softly at him, you usher him out of the room and shut the door behind you, trailing after Sukuna’s little brother. He leads the way to his room, sitting on his bed.
Kneeling at the side of his bed, you keep your voice to a whisper to avoid waking his brother. “Did you want to talk about it, Cho?”
He considers this option for a moment, staring at his hands in his lap before shaking his head.
“That’s alright.” You smile reassuringly. “Your brother mentioned this has been happening a lot lately. I just want you to know you can talk to me if you need.”
Choso hesitates, staring down at his hands in his lap again, before shaking his head.
“That’s fine too. Do you want me to-”
“Chocho?” Yuji’s groggy voice sounds as he flips in his bed against the opposite wall, calling out your name as well.
“Go back to sleep, Yu. Your brother just had a nightmare,” you smile softly in the darkness of the room, your face illuminated only by a nightlight on the wall. You turn back to Choso. “Do you want me to read something until you fall back to sleep? I won’t let any monsters get you,” you reassure him with a grin.
Choso nods slowly.
“Great, what book?”
Choso peers over at the bookshelf, kicking his feet as he skims the titles on each spine. “I’ve already read all of these.”
Frowning, you tap your fingers on your thigh in thought. That had never stopped him from requesting Bridge to Terabithia before, but you suppose that’s neither here nor there at the moment.
What is with his taste in movies and books, why does he like the most heart wrenching titles?
“I could tell you a story,” you decide. Choso’s demeanor picks up as he nods eagerly, getting back in bed. You glance back at Yuji, who’s still quietly watching you. You suppose telling them a story won’t hurt. Pulling up a chair, you take a seat between the beds. “Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort. Which would only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle, guarded by a terrible fire breathing dragon.”
You do your best to focus on your story-telling, although sitting in the dark waiting for the kids to fall asleep as you try to recall the story, something stirs in the back of your mind.
Something dread-inducing and sobering.
You would be lying if you said you hadn’t imagined your first kiss with Sukuna, dreamt of it in the back of your mind and forcibly pushed it down. It only made sense that Sukuna’s flirting was mainly out of jest and teasing, so you had swallowed your feelings and been what Sukuna needed the most. A friend.
Now with the time to think clearly, it occurs to you that there was no spark, no fireworks, and no romance behind the way you kissed. Neither of you had been chasing anything beyond surface-level lust, and you’re just as guilty as he is.
It’s painful to think that the image you’d had in the back of your mind for so long isn’t the reality, but that’s life, isn’t it? You may get another side of Sukuna that most don’t, but at the end of the day, you suppose that doesn’t mean he shares the feelings you caught for him. You had every opportunity to clarify what you wanted from him, but instead you slipped your fingers under his waistband. 
Fuck.
Fuck.
Your heart clenches, your chest tightening at the realization that your friendship with Sukuna could very easily hang by a thread because you both got caught up in one another.
“The ogre and the donkey travel to…” you trail off at the realization that both kids are sound asleep, slipping out of the room with a pit of dread in your stomach.
With a sharp intake of air, you let out a breath and quietly open Sukuna’s room door.
“Hey…”
“Hey.” Sukuna hasn’t moved since you left the room.
Silence punctuates the air, the tension palpable and just as uncomfortable as you could have predicted. The friendship with Sukuna that you had worked so hard to nurture seems to hang precariously in the balance of discomfort and regret.
“Was that story fuckin’ Shrek?” Sukuna asks with narrowed eyes. It does little to quell the unease hanging low over your heads.
You laugh nervously. “Yeah. I didn’t know what story to tell.”
“Do you have the fuckin’ opening memorized?”
“I guess so,” you chuckle again, unable to meet his gaze. The silence spreads once again. “Um- I should go.”
Sukuna doesn’t know what to say. He shouldn’t have kissed you. He shouldn’t have grinded on you.
He doesn’t want to complicate something he doesn’t quite understand himself.
So why the hell does his stomach drop when those words leave your lips? Lips that were on his barely a half hour ago.
The uncertainty of where you sit with one another lies in the distance between you both. It settles like dust over a table left untouched for many years, yet it accumulated in only a few minutes. You want to reach out and find the answers you’re looking for, but you don’t have words.
What the hell are you supposed to say? You’ve hopelessly fallen for him and you don’t want whatever it is you have to end, even at the cost of unrequited feelings? No, Sukuna would push you away.
Sukuna doesn’t even attempt to clear the dust, he can only stare, wondering what’s going through your mind, because what’s going through his makes no sense to him.
Whatever it is that he’s feeling now, it’s a jumbled mess. It’s not the same distress he felt at the thought of you presenting alone and it’s not the lust he’d chased that left him with a painful erection.
Whatever he feels, it’s some sort of warning. Like an omen that he’s somehow fucked things up again with you, tearing a rift through the friendship that even he has worked hard to mend. He wonders if one heated kiss is enough to dissolve the effort he’d put into everything, if this changes what you had for good.
So why the hell are the next words to part his lips “yeah. See ya.”?
Watching you slip away, listening to you pack your belongings in a hurry and slip out the door without even a goodbye, Sukuna grits his teeth and slams his head back against the headboard. If the ground split open and swallowed him whole right now, he thinks he would prefer that to the sound of the front door shutting.
Fuck. Fuck, he did it again.
How many times would you let him fuck up your friendship before you deemed him not worth the time of day?
Shit, he hopes you’ll let him make it up to you once more, even if he’s not sure he deserves it.
What the hell was he thinking, anyway? Or, more likely, not thinking? Was he so driven by a need to wet his dick that he seeked out the one person he couldn’t bear to watch walk away from him?
Why is it that he can’t keep his mind clear when it comes to you?
Sukuna rubs his hands over his face. “Fuck.” Should he chase after you? No, no. He can’t have you thinking there’s any meaning behind his actions beyond whatever it was you already had.
And even he knows how fucked up of a thought that is, one that sits in the pit of his stomach like sour bile. He grimaces, blinking at the foreign feeling of guilt wrapping its ugly fingers tightly around him.
He pulls out his laptop, opening the email chain you’ve been using since the two of you met, but his fingers pause over the keyboard. What the hell is he supposed to say? ‘Sorry for kissing you’? ‘Sorry for thinking with my dick instead of my head’?
“Fuck,” he hisses, louder this time. Tossing his laptop on his bed, he trudges out into the living room, grabbing the broken cap of his lighter and its base from his coat pocket, and what’s left of his pack of cigarettes before standing out in the cold night air in only his sweatpants.
The nicotine hardly seems to make a dent in the toiling emotions tightening his chest and hollowing his stomach. He’s smoked his way through so many packs lately that the dent on his wallet and his reliance on the drug only seems to be growing, yet another pile of problems to add onto his list.
You’re the only thing that seems to quell his narcotic addiction, but you’ve got to be some sort of drug yourself with the way Sukuna behaves like a braindead dumbass around you.
Staring at the ember at the end of the cigarette in his hand, he sighs, leaning forward on the railing of the balcony. The cold doesn’t seem to touch him, like he’s numb to the world beyond his own issues.
Sukuna is a truly fucked man.
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main masterlist || series masterlist || previous chapter || next chapter
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❦ a/n ; poor sukuna and reader do nawwwt know how to make things easy on themselves 🙂‍↔️ thank you all so much for reading and for all the love and kind comments and asks, they seriously make my day and i'm so happy to chat with yall and hear your thoughts. shoutout as well to my reader who suggested a type o negative shirt cameo, this one's for you <33 reader is stronger than i am for not leaping on sukuna when he invited her into his room shirtless tbh. i am weak for him ANYWHO thaaank you as always and i hope you're all doing well <33
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writing & format © starmapz. art © 3-aem. dividers © adornedwithlight & cafekitsune
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mulloey · 21 days ago
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unwelcome • mingyu
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you hate your new stepdad. you swear.
stepdad!mingyu x fem!reader
words: 3k
warnings: step-dad relationship (but you were fully grown when you met him!), implied age gap but not specified, dubcon if you squint, hard dom!mingyu, brat!reader, fingering, spanking, name calling, pussy slaps, mean mingyu. he is not a good dude. extremely weird dynamics (bc he is fucking ur mom after all :/ ) you’ve been warned!
don’t like, don’t read. this is fiction and is not a reflection of reality. if this is not your cup of tea, please scroll. i’m not your babysitter and hate is blocked.
-
you fucking hate him.
mingyu married your mother around a year ago - after only a few months of dating mind you - and you fucking hate him. being away at college, you hadn’t even met him until the week before the wedding, yet here he was; rearranging your house, telling you how to live, trying to assume some sort of authority over your grown ass life. he even had the audacity to chide you for calling him by name. whatever; on the rare occasion you can’t find an excuse not to go home for the holidays or weekends or pick up his calls, you’ll just call him mr. kim.
this is one of those rare occasions. but you sense it may not be rare for very long; your luck has run out and all the campus accommodation is fully booked for your final year. you’d been lucky to get a bursary for on-campus accommodation in your first three years, but that only extended to off-campus accommodation for out of state students. living on the other side of the city, you do not qualify.
you swear mingyu could help, if he felt so inclined. he doesn’t flaunt his wealth but you know he has it; the shiny watches on his wrist and the designer clothing suddenly adorning your mother tells you that much. but even if he did want to help you, which you doubt, you’d never ask him. because that would involve admitting that this man, at least 10, maybe 20 years younger than your mother, and who walked into your life when you were already in your twenties (only a few months into them, admittedly), has any kind of authority over you. he doesn’t.
so you move home, cursing the world and everything in it as you watch from the living room window while mingyu and his stupid friends carry your boxes inside. your mother stands next to you, following her husband with loving eyes. it’s nice to see her happy, you must admit. you just wish she would stick up for you a little; explain to her husband that you’re a grown adult and can’t be told what to do. but she’s always been a meek, passive woman who never seemed to have anything go right for her. you don’t blame her for clinging to whatever fragile happiness she can find.
you figure it won't be too hard to get through this year though; you can ignore mingyu as you have been, he’ll quickly get the message and ignore you in return, and you can keep your head down and scavenge enough credits to graduate, get a job and move out. simple, right?
no. of course not. when is anything ever simple for you?
because mingyu refuses to leave you alone. at all. it seems, for whatever reason, he is determined to be around you at all costs.
you stick it out for all of a couple weeks; ignoring his comments, answering his questions with as little detail as possible, and skirting on this side of his house rules so as not to piss him off. but he only ramps it up, and you can’t take it anymore.
you decide to play the sweet, docile act he loves in your mother, hoping it sways him. you ignore how fucking weird it is to be emulating your mother to get your way, but if it works, it’ll benefit her too. because you’d really hate to have to tell her cherished little husband to go fuck himself.
“mr. kim,” you call.
mingyu, sitting at the kitchen table with a newspaper and a bowl of cereal, looks up. he tilts his head, surveying you closely. “yes?” he asks. “if you’re here to complain about your curfew, you can save it. you worry your mother sick when you stay out until a stupid hour.”
oh, yeah. you resist the urge to roll your eyes; your curfew is that most ridiculous part of all of this, but your mother agrees with it too and you know she’s under no obligation to put you up here for free, so you’ve stuck it out until now out of respect. it’s still fucking annoying, through. you’re twenty fucking years old.
“i’m not here to complain about that,” you say. you bite your lip to keep the ‘asshole’ you want to tack on the end of that sentence inside your mouth.
he tilts an eyebrow, putting the newspaper down. “then what?”
“i just want to know,” you say. you drag out the last syllable, hoping he finds it cute. god, you’re gonna have to take ten thousand showers after acting like this just to please this idiot. “why do you want to talk to me so much?”
he pauses. “what do you mean?”
“i try to stay out of your way,” you say. “because i prefer to keep to myself and honestly, as much as i’m glad you make my mom happy, i really don’t need another parent. but you insist on talking to me and asking me things and knowing about my life. i don’t get it.”
he stares at you for a moment, looking down through those black glasses he always wears around the house. he runs a hand through his air, sighing like he can’t believe what he’s about to say— or that he even has to say it.
“you know what i think?” he asks. you shrug. “i think you do get it. i think you ignore me and talk back to me and find loopholes for all my rules because you want me to bite back. you never had a father, did you?
none of your fucking business, you want to say. instead you go with, “no.”
“there we go,” he says. “it’s a shame, honestly. little girls need their dads. it’s no wonder they act out when they don’t have them.”
“i’m not-” you huff, frustrated but trying not to prove his point by shouting at him. “i am not acting out, mr. kim.”
“you are,” he says. “and you’re damn lucky your mother asked me not to do anything about it.”
you feel your face twitch in anger. you’re long past the innocent act that he was just too annoying for it to work on, but you don’t want to completely lose your cool. “what’s that supposed to mean?”
his lips quirk amusedly and he leans back in his chair, watching you closely. he folds his arms and huh. they’re big. you’ve been so busy being angry at this man for intruding on your peaceful life with just you and your mom and having the nerve to act like he has the right to tell you what to do that you’ve never really thought about how… large he is. you know he’s conventionally attractive, of course you knew that and yeah, in another life you’d probably have tried to hit that at first, but his awful personality has always made him ugly to you. it sours his otherwise beautiful features and twists them into something repugnant. especially that stupid fucking smirk he wears as if he knows anything about you. asshole.
“what it means,” he says, “is i don’t think i’d have all that much trouble setting you straight. but you’re an adult, and i’m not your real father, so i agreed with your mother that i wouldn’t. but watch yourself.” the last sentence is quieter, tacked onto the end like he wasn’t quite sure if he should say it. too right, you think, because it’s fucking creepy.
you snort, rolling your eyes. “what, are you gonna put me over your knee like a little kid or something?”
he raises an eyebrow, lips twitching. he almost looks… amused? “would you want me to?”
oh, fuck this guy. all you were trying to do is illustrate how childishly he’s treating you and he’s acting like you’re the weirdo. “piss off,” you say. “that’s disgusting.”
his eyes flash but he still looks more entertained than aggravated. “you suggested it,” he shrugs. “and i’d certainly like putting you right.”
“yeah,” you spit, “well. forget it.”
you turn on your heel, storming out of the kitchen. well that didn’t go the way you wanted.
-
mingyu watches you retreat with amusement. what a brat. your mother said you would be, but he didn’t expect this. god, his palms twitch every time you walk in the room with a sour expression, or stomp up the stairs at night, or do anything at all, really. he aches to wrap his hands around your throat and set you straight, but he can’t. he can’t.
not yet.
look, he’s not a bad man. he doesn’t want to be a bad husband either; it’s not like he seduced your mom to get to you, or even had any bad intentions with you at all. your mother had told him about you, shown him the photos, and you seemed like a sweet little girl he was looking forward to welcoming into his life.
but fuck. the moment you walked through the door for the first time, looking nervous and irate at the same time. well. clearly the photos your mother had shown him were not recent— you’d grown exponentially since then, blossomed and bloomed in all the right ways. he couldn’t help but reach for his cock absentmindedly when you sat down and your breasts bounced a little in your tight sports bra. thank god he stopped himself. he’s certainly not the type to get off in public like some impotent old coot.
he is, unfortunately, the type to have fucked your mom from the back that night so he could pretend it was your face he was pressing into the pillow.
he hated himself for it, truly. what he hated even more was that, despite the way he lusted after you, he still had an innate need to, well, parent you. he still wanted your chores done and your tests passed and your curfew adhered to. he wanted you to be good.
or maybe he just wanted you to be good for him.
but he finds it more and more difficult to care the tighter his hand wraps around his dick that night, wishing it was splitting you open instead. god, you’d feel so good wrapped around him. he doesn’t know if you’re a virgin - you probably aren’t, knowing what happens at college - but he knows he can make you feel like one. he hopes he never has the chance to find out. he doesn’t even want to think about what would happen if he crossed that line.
that day in the kitchen was the closest he ever got or wants to get; you were just so insolent that he wanted to bend you over then and there to correct the problem. god, he wanted to see his hand prints on your skin and slick leaking out of your hole. and when you bit back and protested everything he said, he almost broke. almost took you. and he caught the way your eyes lingered on his arms, too; the brief spark in your eyes when you finally seemed to admit to yourself that yes, your strict, annoying step dad is hot. he doubts you’d have resisted it, in the end. but in that moment, he didn’t really care. he wanted to break you and rebuild you into a sweet, obedient little stepdaughter. thank god he had self control. well, some. he’s glad your mother was too drunk that night to notice your name slipping from his mouth as he fucked her into the mattress. he gave her another orgasm just to ease his guilty conscience. who cares if i wish it was your daughter squirting all over my face instead?
-
mingyu’s been weird since the kitchen argument. so have you, admittedly, but he’s been weirder. he’s stared at you more, touched you more, scolded you more. and you… well. you’ve let him, to be honest.
you don’t know why. maybe you’re tired of fighting a war in your own house. maybe you feel bad for your mom, who’s desperately trying to piece together a happy family. maybe his arms are somehow getting bigger every time you see them.
today your mother is out, away on a trip with some old college friends. she’d left you under mingyu’s care — despite you being a full-grown adult yourself — and he had reassured her with sickening sweetness that he'd make sure she behaves.
unfortunately, your sleep schedules have aligned recently, so you trudge into the kitchen not long after he does. you sit silently at the table, munching through your cereal and scrolling through social media. you feel his gaze on you even before he speaks.
“are you ever not on your phone?” he asks.
you roll your eyes, huffing. “none of your business,” you grumble. “and yes.”
“hm.” his eyes are narrowed, staring you down through the brim of his glasses. you shift uncomfortably in your seat. “typical,” he says.
“what?”
“a little girl who thinks she knows the world,” he chuckles. “doesn’t realise just how naive she really is.”
“i’m not naive,” you spit. “i’m an adult. i lived alone until the stupid dorm filled up.”
“mm,” he hums. the corner of his lips twitch upwards in a brief smirks, but he shakes it off, returning to his breakfast with a small smile. “whatever you say, sweetheart.”
“fuck off, mingyu,” you mutter before you can think. you’re not sure if you intended for him to hear it— but he does. of course he does. his gaze darts upwards, ice cold.
his voice simmers with rage when he speaks. “what did you just say to me?”
you swallow, a twinge of fear pulling at you. you live to piss him off, you have since you met him, but the way he’s looking at you, the bulging of the veins on his neck and his hands as he clenches his fist against the wood of the table is a little terrifying. you wonder if you’ve gone too far, if you’ve pushed the wrong button, when he finally speaks.
“come here.”
your eyes widen a little and you shake your head. “no.”
“come here, y/n.”
for a moment you’re fearful, hands shaking by your side, but you quickly pull yourself together. mingyu doesn't scare you. this is just another game. you smile, tilting your head in amusement. “what’ll you do if i don’t?” you taunt, snorting to yourself. “call my mom or something?”
his brow tilts, eyes flashing dangerously. “you should be a lot more scared of me than her, little one,” he says, voice low. “i could wreck you in ways you’d never come back from.”
you don’t know what comes over you. every sense in your body tells you to get up and walk away, to stay at a friends house or a hotel until your mother comes home— anywhere where you’re away from this man. but you don’t. instead, your face twists into a scowl as you spit; “do it.”
he moves in on you instantly; before you can register what’s happening he’s out of his seat, pulling you from yours by the hair and pushing your front down onto the table. he presses down on your back, keeping you bent over as his other hand yanks you back by the hair. he leans over you, inches away, breath on your neck as he speaks. “yeah?” he breathes. “want me to ruin you, little girl?”
you squirm, moaning softly at the feeling of his bulge against your ass. through his pyjama pants and your loose sleep shorts, there’s little need for imagination. you swallow thickly, head swimming with a million thoughts but completely unable to make sense of any of them.
you fucking hate mingyu. you hate him with a passion. but his face pressing into your neck and his strong hand pushing you against the table feels so right. and you’re so fucking horny.
you push back, rubbing yourself against his bulge and he straightens back up, staring you down before his hand comes down hard on your thinly-covered ass. you yelp; mingyu is strong.
he snorts, letting his hand fall down again. “you deserve a lot fucking worse than this,” he sneers. “you’re lucky i’m so fucking pent up over you.”
wordlessly he grabs the top of your shorts, yanking them down to the top of your thighs just enough to expose you. he pauses for a moment, then chuckles. “no underwear?”
“s’ my pyjamas,” you mumble, squirming under his gaze. his hand comes down again with a snarled “stay fucking still”.
“you’re such a slut,” he chuckles. “you knew we’d be alone today but you came prancing down in these— can i even call them shorts?” he pulls them down further, letting them fall around your ankles. “that’s better,” he hums.
he leans forward, replacing the hand on your back with his strong forearm, holding you in place while his other hand creeps closer to your pussy. he pauses just short of it, pinching the supple flesh of your inner thigh. “i wonder,” he whispers. “after all this back talk and attitude.” his finger trails closer and closer to your heat and your skin feels hot to the touch. “how wet are you gonna be when i finally touch you?”
he doesn’t give you a chance to respond before two fingers are pressing against your clit, dragging you your folds. you hear the humiliating wetness as he swirls it around his fingers. he hums like he’s making a clinical observation. “very wet indeed,” he says. “doesn't feel like you hate me at all.”
“i d—” you start, but you're cut off when his hand draws back and slaps your pussy harshly. you scream, bucking against the table and he slaps you again in response. “don’t get your slick on my fucking furniture,” he snarls. “fucking cunt.”
you sob, feeling drool pooling on the wood as his fingers return to play with your pussy before pushing inside. he makes a noise of appreciation, starting to pump in and out. “fucking tight, aren’t ya?” he chuckles. “could almost have me fooled into thinking you’re not a fucking whore.”
“i’m not a whore,” you pout.
you hear him laugh quietly, and then he’s leaning over you again, grabbing your hair with those slick-covered fingers that had been stretching you open just a moment ago.
“you are now,” he whispers.
-
my first svt fic!! feedback welcome and comments/reblogs appreciated. requests open! love🖤🖤🖤
taglist open!
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basicallyjeankirschtein · 24 days ago
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jjk men x streamer!reader
╰┈➤ Collab?
chapter two.
ೃ⁀➷ you and gojo get matched with toji, sukuna, and choso, much to the viewers surprise! ft. everyone thirsting for you + jealousy
* not proofread
masterlist. prev. next.
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you tried to focus on the game in-front of you, but the fact that your usual 10-50k audience grew to 300k was freaking you out. just a bit.
not to mention your chat going crazy. usually, it was easy to catch every message and interact with everyone, but now? it was moving so fast, how did gojo put up with this stuff?!
thankfully, everyone was talking about the same thing. the thing being that you matched with toji and his friends.
just like toji, you lived under a fucking rock. yea, gojo was your best friend, but you’ve purposefully been avoiding him since he’s gotten famous. this kinda stuff isn’t your thing- you didn’t even mean to gain 50k without his help, it just sorta happened.
you were a student and you worked at the cutest little cat cafe, you didn’t have time to watch streamers. the only influencers you knew of were gojo and utahime, not because you watched their streams, but because they were your friends. maybe you were a loser.
you tried to act surprised, but honestly you were more surprised with how shit this iron fist was playing.
“chat, which one is the iron fist?” you asked, all of which responding ‘toji.’
unfortunately for you, living under a rock seemed to only bring misfortunes to your life. as the minute you knew his name, you spoke,
“can someone tell toji to swap. he fucking sucks.”
even gojo looked a bit shocked by your comment, but he immediately burst into laughter.
“y/n, you are so lucky you’re streaming with me.” was all he said, and now you were stuck furrowing your eyebrows together and pouting in confusion. even your chat was going crazy over your comment.
who even is toji? you wondered with a huff. when you died, you took the time during your characters respawn to quickly look him up.
oh no. he was hot.
he was also famous, you noticed, but you were more focused on the fact that you just disrespected an extremely hot man!
well, it’s not like you had a chance. you reassured yourself, and once you had finally calmed yourself down, reminding yourself he was just another random man, you realized he is in fact not random.
was this the guy gojo was always whining about? something about him stealing his viewers or something- oh god. you must’ve just woken a wild pack of fangirls, cause you were totally going to be ripped to shreds on twitter after this.
despite internally freaking out about how toji’s fanbase now viewed you, you kept a stoic face, emotions unreadable as you continued the game.
suckunathesenuts: gojo ur friend is funny asf
suckinathesenuts: y/n say something about toji again he doesn’t believe us when we say he’s trash but he will if a pretty girl does
chochoso: pls i can’t keep losing my rank games because of him ):
you couldn’t help but laugh at his teammates messages in chat. you knew your chat would snitch on you to toji, but at least his friends were backing you up. you think.
the comment ‘pretty girl’ had you head spinning, a small blush coating your cheeks. you were going to say thank you, but gojo cut you off.
“don’t respond to these losers,” he spoke, his voice gruff. he sounded uncharacteristically mad.
you just hummed in response, “it’s not a big deal, they’re just messing around. sorry toji,” you waved at your screen as if he was watching, hoping someone in your chat could relay your apology to toji.
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toji didn’t believe his chat when they told him you had said he sucked, “yea, nobody thinks i suck. i’m the best iron fist in this server.” he grunted, in which sukuna burst into laughter and called him delusional.
even choso giggled a bit. now that pissed toji off.
“okay, sure. i don’t believe it.” toji grunted. but, the moment he opened twitter, his notification boxed was filled with people tagging him in the clip of you saying he sucks. man, things spread fast.
“yo, toji, play the fucking game.” sukuna yelled into his microphone, clearly upset toji went afk to look at his phone.
“i think it’s better with him afk. now there’s nobody for the other team to farm.” choso giggled, in which sukuna thought that was the funniest thing on planet earth because he legitimately slammed his fist against the desk with each laugh.
“it wasn’t that funny, dude.” toji growled, though his tone seemed uninterested. he was more focused on you in the clip.
not only did you say he sucked, not only did you not even know who he was, but you were hot??? this hurt his ego, a little (a lot).
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damn. even his fan page called him out.
grunting as he ran a hand through his hair, he noticed sukuna and choso talking to you in game chat. what the hell? since when did they get all friendly.
and sukuna calling you a pretty girl might’ve made toji grit his teeth.
“everyone shut the fuck up. i’ll change.” he said, letting his character die so he can switch to another character. sukuna looked absolutely flabbergasted, toji was actually going to listen to advice for once?
toji wasn’t about to admit it, but he was totally trying to impress you.
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you were surprised to see toji actually listened to your request. you felt kinda bad for making him swap, but he was way better on adam warlock than iron fist.
“wow, he’s going crazy now.” you laughed. it was true, but you were mostly saying that to butter him up. not only did you not want to have one sided beef with a huge streamer, but he was hot as hell! if you had a chance, you were going to take it.
gojo did not seem to agree, as he laughed at you rather than with you. “yea, right. he still sucks.”
you narrowed your eyes at the webcam, confused why gojo was acting so hostile. he was never outright mean. yea, he could be passive aggressive and sarcastic with those he didn’t like, but you’ve never seen him like this.
“says the one who has no team assists,” you laughed, trying to lighten the mood, but that only made gojo even grouchier.
gojo was also playing really bad, that wasn’t usual for him. he was naturally talented at every game he played, you never knew how!
it was like he was distracted with something, and when you looked down at your phone, you found out why.
he was too busy tweeting instead of playing the damn game!!!!
it crossed your oblivious mind that he tweeted that because he was jealous and upset about the attention you were receiving.
chochoso: y/n… i think we are the only ones left playing. all our teammates are afk ):
whoever this chochoso was, was right. everyone on your team except you and him went afk. even the random went afk!! it was remarkable you haven’t lost the point yet, choso was a crazy spiderman.
y/nissleepy: our friends suck!!! does this by default make us best friends now???
chochoso: yes!
you wondered if choso had a social media too, considering he was friends with toji.
you very discreetly opened your twitter to look at toji’s mutuals, and low and behold, there was choso.
how could someone be so cute yet so sexy at the same time.
you were usually shy about this sort of thing, but without hesitation you followed choso. he followed you back almost immediately.
you looked up at your video call to see what gojo was doing, he was completely immersed in his phone. it looked like he was texting someone- very harshly, by the way he was practically hitting his phone with each tap.
biting your lip, you decided to message choso. your stream just started, you didn’t want to awkwardly end it just because everyone’s gone afk.
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playing with choso was fun. he was such a cutie, and after the first two games, he asked if you wanted to video call. you did not hesitate to say yes.
gojo hadn’t even noticed you left the call.
“hi!” you waved at your camera, the confidence you had when you initiated the conversation with choso drowning away in an instant when you saw him appear over the screen. he was even cuter than on his twitter, he had this messy hair held in ponytails! how adorable was that?! your mind started to drift when you wondered how easy it would be to tug on his hair, and that’s when you had to remind yourself it’s truly not that serious and this is a man you just met.
but god, did you have a soft spot for scary men that were actually cute.
you guys loaded into another game, making small talk as you played. both of your chats brought up the chemistry between you two, but both of you chose to ignore it (not without blushing first).
not only did your chat notice the chemistry, but so did your friends.
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“since when did y/n leave the call?”
“since when did choso leave the call?”
both gojo and toji questioned this as they looked at their empty voice chats. sukuna realized it a while ago, when they were talking in game chat, and didn’t bother trying to stop choso.
toji on the other hand, looked angry. “what the hell. he left us to play with her! she wasn’t even relevant until today,” toji growled. sukuna raised his eyebrow, though didn’t reply.
gojo had been busy messaging geto. geto is BEYOND thirsty to stream with you, he’s not even trying to hide it to his stream or nanami.
gojo didn’t even know why he was so jealous. you may have been oblivious, but this guy was downright stupid. he had maybe one brain cell and three jellybeans in that head of his. he couldn’t even decipher the motive behind his jealousy was the attention you have been receiving, especially the attention of toji and geto.
and now, apparently choso.
this video is so funny i love you roblox shrimp games
tag list
@estella-novella @ourfinalisation @definetlynotanalien @fuckisthatahotghost @m-0ona @sillybillylamb @ayla-1605 @l-ilysm @randoperson22 @mentallyunpresent @poopooindamouf @1ennj4 @ex1acy @lunavelha @trsh-kitty @b3bybunny @onna-musha-mari
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aothotties · 18 days ago
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Eren // NSFW // MDNI
Warnings: unprotected sex, overstimulation, cream pie, lip biting, praising.
.⋆。⋆༶⋆˙.⋆。⋆༶⋆˙ .⋆。⋆༶⋆˙
“E-Eren!” You whine for what feels like the 100th time in 10 minutes.
Your fiancé, well now your husband, snickers as you pathetically drench his long cock with your sweet juices once again.
“I know princess, I know. I told you I’d take care of you forever, and I meant that.” He runs one of his large hands up your back and to your shoulder ever so slowly.
Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he pulls you back against his chest. He holds your jaw in his hand and his thick tip twitches inside of you.
Your pretty brown eyes are filled with tears of pleasure, and your lips are so puffy and covered in saliva.
“F-feels so good baby” You moan into the side of his neck, one of your shaky hands makes its way into his brown locks, and he hissed at the tug.
“Feisty girl, you want more baby?” He bites his lip at the way your gummy walls suck him in with each thrust.
You nod desperately in response to his question, two of his long fingers massage your poor clit and like clockwork you feel a heat in your lower belly.
“Fuckkkkk, I’m gonna come again baby. P-please don’t s-stop!” The tears in your eyes finally fall, and at the same time a stream of your sweet nectar coats his cock.
“That’s it! Such a good wife, ‘m so fucking lucky.” He pulls your head back and smashes his lips against yours.
You can tell he’s getting close by the way his hips speed up, he sinks his teeth into your bottom lip, and you mewl at the pain.
“F-fill me up baby, p-please make me a m-mommy.” You pull back from his lip lock and stare deep into his green eyes.
A switch goes off in his brain at the way you drench his shaft once again with your slick. Eren holds you down and against him as he fills you to the brim with his warm cum.
You rub his cheek with your free hand and connect your lips together once again. Eren swipes his tongue over your bottom lip to soothe the dull ache from his biting.
He pulls away and presses his forehead onto yours, those pretty green eyes look over your face to take in your features.
“You’re my wife now.” He says aloud, you giggle and nod your head in response.
“That I am Mr. Yeager, that I am.”
Ari
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rmadridcore · 26 days ago
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Love in Slow Motion
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Pairing: Jude Bellingham x Reader
Summary: Nine times Jude felt a strange warmth whenever he was around you, and one time he finally realized what it was.
Word Count: 1.8K
Author’s note: took a break from writing, but i’m back with a little fluffy Jude fic 🤍 i’ll start getting through my requests as well 🫂
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The type of relationship you and Jude had was very special to him. It hasn’t been too long since you two became a couple and he wasn’t the type to get too serious, too fast. He preferred keeping things casual — no heavy responsibilities, no complicated emotions, just light and easy. But that all shifted when you walked into his life. It was like a switch flipped, and suddenly, what used to feel complicated or burdensome didn’t seem that way anymore. He found out how peaceful it could be to have the right person by your side. With you, everything felt good, natural. He was attracted to you, sure, but it went far beyond that. There was this deep respect, an admiration that ran much deeper than anything he had ever experienced before. And he was glad to have you in his life.
But then there was that other feeling. It was subtle at first, a strange, confusing fuzz in the pit of his stomach. A warmth that spread through his chest and left him feeling... overwhelmed, in the best possible way.
The feeling would hit him at the most random times, uninvited but never unwelcome. He couldn’t quite put a name to it at first, but it was undeniable — it was strong, intense, and utterly inescapable when he was around you. And it took him a while, 10 moments to be exact, before he finally realized what that feeling really was.
The first time it hit him was during an ordinary Tuesday at his place. You two had just come back from the gym, snacks in hand — a little indulgence after an intense workout. You sat cross-legged on the floor near the coffee table, meticulously sorting through your favorite candy, arranging them by color like it was some life or death mission. Jude couldn’t help but watch, utterly mesmerized. The way your brows furrowed in concentration, the seriousness in your expression over something so trivial. It was adorable. He didn’t even realize he was smiling, his heart swelling with that familiar warmth. He’d barely noticed it then, but that was the first time the feeling crept in.
The second time was less subtle. You two were lounging in bed, tangled up in each other’s arms as the worst crime series he’d ever seen played on TV. You loved it, adored it, despite how horrendously predictable and dull it was. If it were up to him, that show would never grace his screen, not in a million years. But when you asked him to watch it with you, he couldn’t say no. He didn’t want to. Even though he didn’t care for the show, he found himself invested — not in the plot, but in the way your face lit up during the ridiculous twists, how you laughed at the over the top dialogue. It hit him then, that same feeling, stronger this time. He didn’t care about the show. He cared about you, about how happy you were. And somehow, that made it all worth it.
The third time it hit him was at dawn. Thirst had woken him up in the middle of the night, and after a quick drink of water, he climbed back into bed. But sleep didn’t return as easily. Instead, he found himself gazing at you — your sleeping figure, so peaceful, so serene. You looked perfect, nestled into the fluffy pillow with the blanket pulled up to your chin. His heart swelled as he watched you, that same unamenable feeling washing over him again. There was something mesmerizing about how relaxed and beautiful you looked, your soft features illuminated by the faint light creeping through the curtains. You were flawless to him, like a dream come to life. And as he lied there, wide awake, he realized how happy it made him to be the one who got to fall asleep and wake up next to you. He was happy, so happy, and he couldn’t believe how lucky he was.
The fourth time came just before he had to leave for training. He was sitting at the kitchen table, lazily texting his brother, when you came over and placed a cup of coffee in front of him. You gave him a quick kiss before heading to the bathroom, leaving him to take his first sip. As the warm liquid touched his lips, it hit him — you hadn’t asked him how he liked his coffee in months. Only once, when you first started seeing each other. Since then, you had memorized his exact preferences, down to the smallest detail, making it for him just the way he liked without ever needing a reminder. That tiny, thoughtful gesture struck him harder than anything else could have. You knew him so well, and you cared enough to remember the little things. It was a simple moment, but it made him feel that same warmth, that same fuzzy feeling in his chest, stronger than ever.
The fifth time was during a dinner at your friend’s house. The evening had been fun, filled with laughter and conversations, but it was after dinner when that familiar feeling surged through him again. The guests had spread around the house, sipping on drinks and chatting in small groups. He had just come back from the balcony, where he had been talking with a few friends, when he spotted you across the room. You were sitting on a couch with your girlfriends, your head thrown back in laughter, the sound echoing through the room. God, you were beautiful. The way you laughed, so carefree, so full of joy, it made his breath hitch. Your eyes crinkled at the corners, your cheeks flushed from whatever joke had you in stitches, and he felt like time stopped for a moment. In that instant, all he wanted was to hold onto that image of you, happy and glowing. He wanted to freeze time, to keep you laughing forever. It was in moments like that when he felt it the most, this overwhelming, undeniable feeling.
The sixth time hit him when he was getting ready for an award show. You had been by his side all evening, calming his nerves, reassuring him with your words, building him up when he felt uncertain. He loved how involved you were in his career, how you were genuinely his number one fan. As you stood there fixing his collar, making sure he looked perfect before he walked out the door, that feeling rushed over him again. There was something so tender about the way you took care of him, focused on every little detail, and it hit him just how lucky he was to have someone who cared this much.
The seventh time happened on a simple stroll through the city. You loved being outdoors when the weather was nice, and Jude loved tagging along, happy to do anything that brought a smile to your face. As you two walked hand-in-hand along the sidewalk, an adorable white puppy caught your attention. Without a second thought, you dropped Jude’s hand and rushed over to pet the dog, kneeling down and squealing at how cute it was. Watching you gush over the puppy, completely losing yourself in the moment, made that warm, fuzzy feeling flood his chest again. He stood there, grinning, watching as you melted into a bundle of squeaks and giggles, and all he could think was how much he loved seeing you happy.
The eighth time came after one of the hardest days he’d had in a while. Exhausted and stressed, he came home expecting to collapse, but instead, he was greeted by the heavenly smell of his favorite meal cooking. You had surprised him, knowing full well that he’d be grumpy and starving after the long day. The house smelled like comfort, and you acted like it was no big deal, just something you casually did to make his day a little better. But to him, it meant everything. He kissed you as a way of saying thank you, feeling so grateful for how effortlessly you made his life better. You always knew exactly how to make him feel like the luckiest man in the world.
The ninth time was pure simplicity. He had just gotten out of the shower, towel wrapped around his waist, another one in hand as he dried his hair. He walked into the living room and saw you lounging on the couch, reading a book and wearing his T-shirt. Something about you in his clothes, looking so relaxed and at home in his space, hit him hard. It was such a small thing, but it sent that familiar warmth surging through him, stronger than ever. The sight of you so comfortable in his world, in his shirt, made him realize — he could get used to this. In fact, he wouldn’t want it any other way.
And the tenth time was the epiphany. You two were out grocery shopping, preparing for a dinner party you were hosting for your friends over the weekend. As you wandered through the aisles, picking and choosing what you needed for the meal, Jude followed behind you, pushing the cart loaded with products. He watched you with soft admiration as you weighed your options, debating what dessert to serve. It struck him how perfectly domestic everything felt; how easy, how natural, and how real it was.
Everything he once feared, commitment, responsibilities, routine, was now something he craved with you. He loved the simplicity of it all, the way you moved through life together with such ease. This wasn’t just about being comfortable; it was about feeling truly at home with you. And then, it hit him. That feeling he had been experiencing all along, that warmth in his chest — it was love.
It was love that made him stare at you sorting candy like it was the most captivating thing in the world. Love that had him watching that awful crime show with you, just to hold you close. Love that kept him glued to your sleeping face at dawn. Love that made your laugh the best sound he had ever heard, and the way you made his coffee exactly how he liked it felt so special. Love that made him emotional when you adjusted his collar, and why watching you squeal over a random dog on the street made his heart melt. It was love that made your cooking the best thing he could ever come home to, and why seeing you in his clothes felt so right.
He loved you — deeply, more than he ever thought possible. And as he looked at you then, standing in the grocery aisle, he was sure of one thing: when you looked back at him, there wasn’t a single doubt in his mind that you loved him just as much.
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anakinsdove · 1 year ago
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𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 | 𝐬𝐚𝐦 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐫𝐨𝐞
pairing: sam monroe x shy!girlygirl!fem!reader
summary: sam can’t seem to get hard, he also can’t stand you, but he needs your help.
c/w: nsfw, fluff, friends to lovers, sam pretends not to like reader but they’re actually friends, handjob, makeout session, overstimulation, unintentional dacryphilia? reader doesn’t know she has that kink, also sam is mean and reader is kinda innocent if not naive.
discord - twitter: anakinsdove
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𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧! 。゚゚・。・゚゚。 ゚。Love you
𝘄/𝗰 - 𝟮,𝟮𝟱𝟴.
Sam stroked his cock lazily, laying on his messy bed while “Paranoid” from Black Sabbath played from his stereo volume insanely loud, he stared at the ceiling eyes wide open. To say he was frustrated was an understatement, he’s been stroking his cock for the past 45 minutes and he can’t even get hard yet, he doesn’t understand what’s wrong, “fuck!” He yells in frustration, he watched every single porn tape he owned and couldn’t even pop a boner, from time to time he looks beside him to the porn magazine, hes just not focused, not even his imagination can help him… it’s been like this for the past week. Maybe it finally happened, his cock doesn’t work anymore and he’s still a virgin, he’s pathetic.
Weed doesn’t work, porn doesn’t work, imagination doesn’t work and he’s not lucky enough to get action, the only thing worse than not being able to get hard himself is not being able to get hard with another girl, he would rather kill himself. His wrist aches and he cries out in frustration, he’s so needy, and he’s sweating, it’s so unfair…. he doesn’t hear you knocking on his window.
“sam!” you been calling his name for the past two minutes but it felt like an eternity for your antsy little ass, he’ll kill you if you go inside without his permission, you don’t understand what his deal is when not letting people go inside he’s too dramatic you think “sam!” you call again, now you’re starting to get impatient so you decide to open his balcony door and get inside.
Sam cringes at sunlight and cries out “get out!” throwing at you the porn magazine beside his head as he quickly covers himself with the sheets… what the fuck?
“What is this?” you ask curiously as you kneel to pick up the magazine your eyes instantly landing on the woman with big tits “Turn around!” Sam yells furiously, you do as he says and quickly puts on a pair of boxers, when he realizes you’re still flicking through his magazine, he walks over and takes it right out of your hands, you don’t say anything only look up at him with doe eyes… sam looks away.
“Are you ready to go?” You ask with that sweet and calm voice of yours, exactly the opposite of Sam’s “Go where?” He asks annoyed, you never made plans of going anywhere together, “My house, we’re going to watch a movie” sam pretends to think hardly about it, making you think he might have more important things to do, cooler things to do than to watch a movie with you, well he doesn’t. “Fine but I’m picking the movie” you nod and Sam turns around to grab some pants from his floor.
“Let’s go” Sam says like it’s obvious he’s done and you’re just standing there like an idiot, you follow him downstairs and to the front door and this time sam opens the door for you but still pushes you a little to get out faster.
You start walking trying to maintain his peace, and steal glances at him when you can, before he notices it “What?” Sam asks… so he did notice after all “Nothing its just… you’re not wearing makeup” you say “So?” He asks “it’s uncommon” he doesn’t roll his eyes or anything, you might be starting to think you’re friends. 10 minutes later you arrive to your house and this time you open the door for Sam.
“Where’s your mom?” He asks “she’s not home” “cool” Sam knows very well the way to your room, your room is completely different to his, clean bedsheets and freshly made bed, pink wallpaper decorating your walls and what might be the star of your room, your pretty vanity displaying all of your makeup, Sam always looks a little bit interested in your makeup but when he realizes it mostly soft colors and pink, blushes and lip gloss he loses interest just as quick, he thinks the only cool makeup product you own it’s black eyeliner, you grab your favorite disc “six pence none the richer” by six pence none the richer and “Kiss me” starts playing, Sam’s face instantly turns in disgust.
“What?” You ask, “isn’t there anything less awful you could play?” “Huh?” “Limp bizkit or something” “Limp what?” Sam decides to drop the topic due your answer. “Wait here, I’ll make the popcorn” you sprint out of your room and sam wanders through your room, he’s done it a dozen times by now, even knows which one is your underwear drawer, where your diary is… he beats up your plushies and when he’s done he goes across the room and stares at your Chad Michael Murray poster you probably found in a girly magazine and gives it the middle finger.
He can hear you singing downstairs and he rolls his eyes, what’s wrong with her? Sam asks himself, and two minutes later he decides there’s nothing worthy of his time in your room and lays on your bed staring at the ceiling “Here” you say putting the popcorn bowl on his stomach, he didn’t even hear you come upstairs, you sit next to him and squirm trying to get comfortable, Sam quickly looks away when he sees your skirt riding up a little bit “So, what movie are we watching?” You ask excited
Sam smirks
“Sam!” You cry out trying to cover your eyes with the popcorn bowl, of course he picked “Texas Chainsaw massacre” you’ve never watched this movie before and you totally hated it, 40 minutes later into the film.. Sam ignores your plea and his eyes are still focused on the tv, “Sam…” you say weakly with a pout in your face, “Sam can we please watch something else?” Sam sighs and grabs the tv remote to pause the movie. “Why?” “It’s too scary” “You’re such a crybaby” Sam says annoyed “It’s all fake, you know that right?” “It’s still very awful” you say and Sam grabs the popcorn bowl from your arms “sorry” you say apologetically.
“Do you want to go outside?” You ask “No” “What do you want to do?” He doesn’t respond “Sam” you try again “what!?” Sam says annoyed and you look like wounded puppy “what’s wrong? you seem really annoyed today, more than usual” “I’m fine” you sit closer to him, now your thighs are touching and he can smell your dizzying body lotion that smells like cupcakes, he stares at your lips and your cleavage…
“You can talk to me, I won’t judge you” Sam knows you would never do it, you’re too pure to make a joke of any situation that might be hurting him “My dick is broken” he lets out abruptly “what?” “I can’t get hard” Sam confesses “Oh” you don’t really know what to say…. “Why?” “I don’t fucking know” there clearly annoyance in his voice
“Are you going to see a doctor?” “What!? Why the fuck would I go to the doctor” “I dunno” you say confused and mostly to yourself “Are you going to tell your mom?” “You give the worst advices ever, seriously, are you that stupid. I wont tell my fucking mom” now he sounds genuinely angry. “Hey you’re not being nice!” Now it’s your turn to yell at him “I’m not trying to be!” You grab your pillow and hit him in the face with it, hard enough to make him yelp, then he grabs your other pillow and hits you with it, you gasp offended “Hey!” You grab the pillow again and start hitting him repeatedly pushing him on his back and getting on his lap as you keep your assault, you’re practically jumping on his dick as the bed moves and creaks beneath you, “Stop!” Sam yells urgently under you, you keep going and Sam lets out a moan and urgently grabs your hips to keep you still “S-stop! I’m sorry”
You finally stop the assault, your expression changing to confusion when you realize Sam is panting beneath you, “What’s wrong?” You ask, he looks up to you in shock and sits up, you try to get off his laps but his hands hold your hips still “Did I hurt you?” You ask with evident sadness and regret in your voice “I’m hard” Sam confesses breathlessly “But I thought you couldn’t-“ “I couldn’t!” You carefully remove yourself from his lap, his blue eyes stare at the obvious tent in his pants and you do it too, he takes the pillow and covers himself feeling ashamed “You’re driving me crazy, you know that?” There’s slight annoyance in his voice “You know what is like trying to jack off soft?” You shake your head “It’s fucking annoying” “But I made you hard isn’t that what you wanted?” He shakes his head “I thought I helped you” you said confused “You could help me if I could kiss you” he says and you look at him shocked “i thought we weren’t friends” “We’re not friends” he says “Are you my boyfriend then?” “What!?” He says shocked “I dunno” you say “L-Look sometimes what you think you know doesn’t necessarily have to do much with reality” you tilt your head to the side “Okay”
You start leaning in and he lens back a little bit, you open your eyes in confusion and quickly closes them when he finally kisses you, his lips are soft, inexperienced just as yours, he moves his lips a little more impatient than yours, he’s uncoordinated, you moan when he grabs your waist roughly with one hand trying to pull you close to him, he’s not gentle, not because he doesn’t want to but because he doesn’t know how to… “Sammy… I want to help you” you say breathlessly… he kisses you again and moves him hands to tug on his pants, also his boxers, his cock is freed and slaps against his stomach… “what do I do?” You ask, so much for helping him “Just w-wrap your hand around it” you wrap your hand around his dick too loose for his liking he groans in annoyance due your unintentional teasing.
Sam wraps his hand around yours instructing you to tighten your wrip, and you do, he guides your hand to stroke him faster “Yesyesyes something like that” Sam says and his eyes screw shut “g-give me your hand” he says breathlessly, you do as he says and he spits in your hand “You can go again” you feel the familiar wetness in your panties as you keep jerking him off, the wetness you feel in you aching pussy that can only be relieved when you grind yourself against your plushies rubing nicely against you clit.
You’re snapped out of your thoughts when you hear Sam say between moans, “Play with my balls c’mon” you cup them gently in your hand not knowing much about what to do with them.. when you start rolling them between your fingers, they feel nice and heavy on your palm fuzzy skin feeling so delicious against your fingers, his heavy cock in your hand is pulsating, you look at him and see his stomach contracting where his shirt rode up… he can’t help but let out pathetic whines “You sound so pretty Sam” you say and his eyes roll back, he moves his hands up to grip your tits and massage them, unexpectedly he grips them too hard and you make a small “ow” sounds make him grip them more gently Sam thinks he’s in heaven… he might be.
“c-cumming cumming!” he pants “ohh f-fuck!” Sam spams, his eyes roll back and his thighs shake, it’s a sight for sore eyes… white ropes of cum paint your hand and your wrist, you keep moving your wrist to help him ride his orgasm, just like when you keep grinding against your plushies after you cum… but Sam is not used to it “w-wait wait!” Sam writes on the bed trying to get away from your touch, “what?” You ask as your wrist keeps moving up and down still at a really fast peace, his head rolls back and you hear a whimper, his toes curl inside his shoes as he kicks his feet desperately… “ah ah ah!” tears start falling from his eyes wetting his eyelashes as he gasps for air “s-stop” you stop instantly when you hear the word and Sam groans tiredly… what the fuck… you gave him the best orgasm of his life… You “Y/N L/N”
Sam curls into himself panting still… you move to your nightstand to grab a wet wipe, you clean your hand and move him on his back… wiping the cum that landed on his stomach and some on his dick, Sam hisses at the contact of the cold wipe on his dick… “Did you- did you like it?” you ask nervously, Sam opens his eyes and puts his softening cock back in his boxers and tugs his pants up. Sam nodds shyly “T-thank you” You unexpectedly hug him falling on top of him, “I’m glad I could help-“
“Y/N!” You hear your mom call from downstairs shes coming upstairs Sam panics a little “Hey Sam!” Your mom greets Sam and he weakly waves at her “What are you guys doing?” “W-We just finished watching a movie” “Oh Okay” finally your mom leaves to her room.
Unexpectedly sam kisses you again, this time is soft and gentle, not rushed but still passionate, “You’re so pretty” he admits “I thought you didn’t like me” you admit “I do” “I thought we weren’t friends” “We’re not!” Sam says and kisses you again.
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𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐜! 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤?
masterlist 𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗱𝗼𝘃𝗲 © --- all rights reserved. no reposting/translating/ copying will be tolerated.
dividers @i92-93 @sweetparty
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rueclfer · 3 months ago
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everything is embarrassing // izuku midoriya
when he doesn't know how to take control of his life
a/n: 6k+ words lmao i feel crazzzzzy ok bye
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19-year-old izuku doesn't have the privilege of hopping around college parties on the weekends or enjoy the “college experience” like his friends do.
he can barely catch a break to breathe.
monday through friday he's in classes from 8:00am to 4:00pm, and for more than half of the week from 6:00pm to 12:00am, he's working at the campus library- simultaneously shelving returns, organizing files, and scrambling to finish his homework. on the weekends, he'll be at his part time job at the local cafe just down the street from his dorm building.
it hasn't been an easy semester for izuku. he's a year behind his friends and he wants nothing more than to be able to walk across that stage with them by the end of their fourth year, but nothing comes easy when you’ve been out of school for a year, no money, have a scholarship on the line, and a single mother at home to make proud.
he's watching the time go by. his eyes darting back and forth between the ticking needle on the analog clock and you sitting at your usual table with your headphones on, attention glued to your textbook, and the tapping of your pencil growing louder by the second.
occasionally, he'd let himself clock out and lock up about 5-10 minutes early if there was no one lingering around on his floor, and all of the day's work had been completed. no one stays as late in the library as you do. it annoys him. 
5-10 minutes is crucial to izuku.
he could get a head-start on his commute back to his dorm. if he walks quickly enough, he'd be back before 12:15am, be ready for bed by 12:35am, and he'd be able to get at least 6 hours of sleep.
if he's lucky.
but you. you were always there until the very last minute- sometimes even past closing.
it's 12:05am. how could anyone be so careless to not keep an eye on the time? can’t you see that it’s only you two left on this floor? did you not hear the 10 minute closing warning on the intercom?
if he wasn't running on a couple hour of sleep, a poor excuse for dinner, and 6 hours worth of brain numbing work, he wouldn't have the nerves to approach you so casually. he'd be replaying what he wanted to say in his head, stumbling over his words, and hope you wouldn't take offense to it.
"the library's closed." he bluntly says, still maintaining a few feet of distance.
you don't hear him or notice his presence at all. you're lost in that textbook and your mind is fumbling through these terms and definitions staring back at you.
izuku blinks once. then twice.
"hey." he starts again, taking a step closer and setting a hand down on the table right above your textbook.
you look up and catch the library worker’s tired eyes. your gaze immediately flickers to the analog clock hung on the wall past his shoulder.
12:12am
“oh shit!” you exclaim, ripping off your headphones. “i’m sorry. i’m so sorry, i lost track of time.”
you slam your textbook shut, rubbing your eyes against the back of your hand. how long had you been at it like this? studying the hours away in your own corner of the library?
“yeah.” izuku breathily chuckles, a sense of relief washing over him as he watches you haphazardly shove your books and papers in your bag. “sorry, i hate to interrupt a good study session, but i’m kinda tired, and if i stay here for another minute, the shelves might start talking to me.”
“god, don’t be sorry. i get it.” you laugh, slinging your bag over your shoulder. “i’m here, like, everyday. i’m sure everyone who works here is sick of me by now.”.
“yeah, me too.” he sheepishly rubs the back of his neck as you two make your way towards the exit. “here everyday, that is.” he quips, nervously running a hand through his tousled hair.
“look at us, so scholarly.” your voice dripping in sarcasm. you turn your head over your shoulder to meet his eye. “paying so much money for this university to drain us of all joy in life.”
“well, i’m on a scholarship.” izuku mutters. “so i guess i still have some joy left?
“yeah? well that’s actually even worse.” 
“is it?” he cocks an eyebrow.
“you have much more to lose.”
-
the next time you two see each other, he’s knelt over an open filing cabinet, digging through dividers for some sort of paperwork. 
since that night you’ve met, university life has felt a bit less lonely- something about taking a 20 minute walk to your dorm buildings, which happens to be right next to each other, complaining about how terrible of time you’re having adjusting to university life really brings people together.
“hey.” you cough.
izuku looks up to see you sporting a coffee cup in each hand.
“oh. it’s you. hey.”
you hold one out to him, waiting for him to take it, but all he does is give you a blank stare as his eyes flicker between your own and the cup outreached towards him.
“take it.” you chuckle. “i brought it for you. you looked like shit last time i saw you, so...”
the corners of his mouth quirks up into a smile, gingerly accepting the hot cup of coffee.
“...so this is your apology for staying past closing the other night?” he teases.
“oh definitely not.” you scoff. “i’ll be doing it again tonight too, don’t you worry.”
he nods his head, taking a deep swig of the bittersweet coffee. “see you at midnight, then.”
“see you at midnight.” you confirm, sending him a smile as you pull your headphones over your ear and head towards the back of the library where your designated table was waiting for you.
-
at 21-years-old, izuku goes to his first house party. it takes you about a week to convince him to give you one of his saturday nights that he’d usually reserve for studying or catching up on sleep.
“please.” you beg once more. “what are you going to say to your future students? how are you going to say you had the college experience without going to a single party?”
“with a degree?” he chuckles, slinging a rag over his shoulder. “you’re also distracting me. i’m on the clock, and my boss can come back anytime, you know.”
“oh, please.” you roll your eyes. “if toshinori was here, he’d be telling you to put your big boy pants on and get drunk with his favorite customer tonight. and if you agreed the first time i asked, i wouldn’t have to follow you to your second place of employment.”
“i’m sorry, i can’t. maybe next time?”
“please, izuku, just one party. i’ll help you get ready after your shift. we’ll leave anytime you want, but i can guarantee you’ll have so much fun. i promise i’ll never ask you again if you really do end up hating it.”
he can imagine it now- if someone asked him about his college experience, he wouldn’t mention the parties, the professors, or the time spent away from home. he’d talk about you.
izuku has a hard time balancing his life between keeping up with the workload and trying to not let his days blend into a muddy gray, but you had perfectly fit somewhere in between all of the chaos like a fresh breath of air.
izuku was tired, and you were a shot of espresso. how can he say no to you?
“fine.” he sighs in defeat, sliding a cup of coffee across the counter towards you. “but i can’t be out that late, okay? i have to be back here in the morning.”
-
“what the fuck happened?” you slam the door shut behind you, muffling out chatter of the crowd and heavy bass shaking through the walls. 
you twist a wad of toilet paper into a cone before plugging the stream of blood gushing from his nose.
“sorry, sorry, sorry!” he repeats, holding the toilet paper in place with a bewildered look in his eyes. 
“i don’t know what happened,” he starts in a nasally tone “maybe it’s all the smoke in the air or something. i heard that second hand smoke can be really drying for your nasal passages, especially if there’s not a lot of ventilation like in this apartment, i also haven’t been drinking a lot of water today and-”
“aht!” you interrupt, nudging him over with your elbow to rinse your hands off from the bloody residue. “my theory is that your body is shutting down on itself from the lack of proper sleep and nutrition. thoughts?”
izuku pouts. “stop it. i had a protein shake before we came, remember?”
“of course, how could i forget about the most rancid concoction you managed to blend together?” you mutter, wetting a wad of toilet paper and dabbing away the dried blood that had fallen onto his chin and t-shirt.
he cocks an eyebrow at you, holding up the red solo cup containing a questionable blue liquid that you shoved in his hands to hold when his nose started dripping blood. 
“wow, since when were you a chem major? since you know so much about ‘rancid concoctions,’ huh?” he deadpans.
“izuku midoriya, are you getting sassy with me?” you scoff, grabbing the cup back from his hands.
“maybe i am.” he presses his lips together to suppress a smirk. “or maybe i’m just making an observation.”
izuku had finally started learning how to bite back. somewhere within the last year, the skittish library worker who you enjoyed pestering had grown the confidence to return your relentless teasing.
you weren’t sure how to take it- how giddy it made you feel and how much more of it you wanted to draw out of him.
to him, it was all a front. he perfected the line delivery with ease, but at the cost of his chest tightening and stomach turning over the sight of your amused smile and lit up eyes. this made him anxious.
you have much more to lose
everytime he sees you, he’s reminded of your very first conversation together when you were first years. he’s acutely aware of how much he has to lose, but if there’s one thing izuku could not bear to risk losing during the worst few years of his life, it was you.
“uh, why are you looking at me like that?” he nervously chuckles, his ears growing hot from trailing your eyes as they glaze over his face.
“i love you.” you smile, the alcohol finally making its way to your head. “a lot.”
izuku’s breathing stops for a moment. his eyes widen, and the nervous giggles continue pouring out as his facade from minutes earlier crumbles completely.
“why are you laughing?” you chuckle, taking a sip from your cup, choking back a grimace.
“i…i don’t know.” he bites his bottom lip, suddenly aware of his nervous habit. “you’re just being a silly drunk right now."
“what? because i said i love you?” you cock your head with a lazy smile “the L-word got your panties in a twist?”
“don’t know what you mean.” he turns his attention back to the mirror, subtly swiping his sweaty palms on his thighs before unplugging the tissue from his nose. 
for the first time in his life, he’s simultaneously grateful and regretful for alcohol. grateful for the red sheen over his face to mask his blush. regretful for the carelessness it caused you with your words. 
he doesn’t have the time or energy to entertain it. that is the one thing he’s certain of. he wouldn’t be good for you- wouldn’t give you the time and attention you deserved. he loves you too. he loves you enough to not say it back.
“it stopped bleeding. i think i’ll have to leave soon, so let’s get back out there, yeah? i’ll make you a better drink, too.”
he shoots you a forced grin before grabbing you by the shoulders and ushering you two back to the party where you reunite with your roommates and mutual friends. you leave your drink in the bathroom.
-
on the day izuku turns 22-years-old, he finds out that he’s on track to graduate with you and his friends. after stepping out for a quick phone call with his academic advisor, he drunkenly cries into your shoulder mid-birthday party (that his boss at the cafe forced him to take the time off to have).
all of the hard work and courses he packed on during his first two years at university finally paid off. though, that doesn't mean he’s gotten any easier on himself.
he quits his job at the library and starts student teaching part time at the local middle school for college credit.
you barely see him now-a-days. more often than not, your texts go unanswered.
izuku is a busy guy.
you miss him. you didn't realize how lonely it felt to walk back to your dorm from the library at midnight by yourself- you haven't felt this way for a while, not since you met izuku. 
you wished he made it easier for you. your feelings for him never subsides, but instead grows into a longing ache. it’ll be like this until graduation. the occasional text message, running into each other in the halls with quick hello and goodbye, coming into his weekend job just to see him for a few reassuring moments- you know you both needed it.
he talks about you to his students a lot- “my best friend,” “someone important to me,” “my support system,” and etc. he’s always referring to you.
he missed seeing you all the time, but it’s all been so hectic for him he hates to admit that you barely cross his mind when he’s in the midst of a busy day. on top of his regular grueling school work, he has to lesson-plan for the days he’s teaching, grade papers, as well as check in with his professors and mentors.
he doesn’t know how he does it.
working in that library was excruciating, but he missed nothing more than the last half hour of his shifts where it’d just be you two, sending shy glances at one another until it hit midnight. he doesn’t even mind the rest of the 6 hour shift where you’re just sitting in the same spot that you always gravitate towards, head in the textbook for him to look up at every now and then.
you tell him you love him for the second time at the end of your graduation party when all of the guests have cleared out of your half empty apartment.
“what?” his eyes go wide, exactly like they did a year ago.
“i love you, izuku.” you ball the sides of your graduation gown, wrinkling the fabric in your hands.
you’re sober this time, which makes it infinitely more painful to say out loud.
his mouth gapes open as if he’s a fish gasping for water. he doesn’t know what to say.
“i have for years.” you fill in the silence, fidgeting with the silky material. “ever since you kicked me out of that fucking library, i think. i don’t know. maybe i’m being stupid, but i can’t help it. i love you, and i need you to know before… you know.”
it’s been three years, and you’ve waited until this night to pour it all out because you knew that in less than 24 hours, you’d be going your separate ways.
in a perfect situation, izuku would tell you that he feels the same. he’d run through an airport to stop you from leaving and beg you to stay with him. you wouldn’t have to go back home. you’d share an apartment. live in the city. start your entry jobs. you’d have time together.
“i’m sorry.” is all he says. “i’m sorry.” he repeats.
tears well in his eyes, and he grabs you by the shoulders to pull you into his chest.
“sheesh, you’re such a crybaby.” you choke out a half chuckle, your eyes running hot now. “don’t be sorry, okay? i get it. i know.”
your arms tightly wrap around izuku’s waist as you two silently sob into one another. his hand runs through your hair, stopping at the nape of your neck to pull you closer.
there’s something much more painful behind this confession to cry about. you’re leaving the city, and you have no reason to stay. for the first time in three years, izuku won’t be within arm’s reach and you’re left with the cold reality of navigating your future without your best friend by your side.
“you know, i..” he begins, pulling you back to look at your face, searching for the right words, or an answer. “it’s not that i don’t feel the same, okay?” 
his cheeks lightly dust over pink. it’s the first time he’s admitted that out loud.
“i know.” you sadly smile, your hand reaching up to wipe away the stray tears left on his cheeks. “we’ll be okay. we worked hard for this, izuku.”
izuku felt like throwing up. he had spent the last three years working himself into the ground with endless all-nighters, black coffees, and missed events to get everything he’s ever wanted for his future, so why does it feel like his world is slipping from between his fingers?
yes, he worked hard, but he wondered if it was all enough?
“i’m going to miss you.” he mutters, connecting your foreheads together. “i already do. you’re everything to me.”
“me more. i’ll miss you more.”
after that night, you don’t see izuku again for a long time. 
izuku jumps into his new position at the local high school in the same school district as the middle school he worked at during his last year of university. he feels a sense of relief everytime he walks into his school building- something that he couldn’t ever say during his years as a student.
you move back home and land an entry job at a startup tech company. it’s boring work, but at least it’s remote and your days don’t mesh into one- you made sure you would never have to go through that again.
you try to stay connected, but work is busy, and you’re both trying to figure out what life is supposed to look like post-grad. occasionally, you’ll send each other a meaningless “thinking of you” message, but you eventually lose contact after a couple of years of trying to plan visits and meet ups- there is just no time. there never was.
-
at 27-years-old, izuku is spending his late afternoon sitting in his empty classroom with one of his students. it’s half an hour past their scheduled parent-teacher conference time, and he’s wondering if he should just reschedule.
“are you sure your mom is coming? did you tell her the right time and date?” izuku sighs, resting his head on a propped elbow.
“duh. what kind of student do you think i am?” they scoff, glancing up at him from their phone.
“judging by your grades, i know exactly the kind of student you are.” he mumbles.
izuku’s trying to not panic, the kid clearly isn’t, but he’s wondering how far back this sets his schedule. he should be starting on the stack of papers to grade by now. he still needs to write out a lesson plan for tomorrow. maybe the kids deserve a movie day? maybe he deserves a movie day.
“don’t freak out.” izuku hears from outside of his door “you’re fine. it’s okay. seriously, chill the fuck out you weren’t interrupting anything, i needed a break anyways. i’m walking in right now. yeah, i’ll let you know how it goes.”
finally.
izuku straightens up, and tightens his tie. he whips open his laptop and pulls up the tabs of grades and assignments to discuss.
“i’m so sorry-” the voice falters at the end as it enters the classroom.
“don’t be, i was just-” izuku glances up from his screen and his throat suddenly closes shut.
5 years later, and the universe leads you back to one another. here. in his classroom.
“izuku midoriya?” you cough out.
for the first time in his life, he doesn’t like the way his name sounds coming out of your mouth. it’s hesitant. it sounds foreign. it makes him question himself for a moment. 
yes? that’s me, right? it’s me, izuku. your izuku.
“what are…uh.. you…here?” he stammers, unable to get the words out.
you take a step forward into the classroom. you could pass out at the sight of him. he still seemed as boyish as ever. maybe a bit broader, and taller, but his hair is still just as wild as it was in university. you can’t help but feel a twinge of insecurity as you wonder if you looked any different as well.
“uh…where’s mom?” your nephew glances back and forth between you two starstrucked at the sight of one another. “we have to look over my grades and stuff, you know.”
“right!” you exclaim. “your mom got caught up at work, so she asked me to come in.” you awkwardly shift in your position, your eyes never leaving izuku’s.
izuku’s face flares up in heat, snapping back into the present as his eyes flicker back towards his student.
“you know what? let’s reschedule that. you can go and i’ll see you tomorrow?” he quickly stands up, knocking over his chair and hitting his knee against his desk in the process.
“really?” they cock an eyebrow at the shift in behavior from the two adults in the room.
“yup! we’re running late and i have a meeting right now, so i’ll just email your mom to reschedule.” he forces a reassuring grin, making his way around his desk. “don’t forget to read over the syllabus to see what’s due, alright?”
“alright, i guess. see you tomorrow then, sensei” they shoot you a questioning side glance as they sling their backpack over their shoulder. “are you taking me home?”
“no.” you say, almost a bit too quickly. “uh, i have some errands to run before your mom gets back home, so you go on ahead i’ll see you at home.”
once your nephew leaves, unsuspecting of the thick line of tension running between his aunt and teacher, izuku quickly rushes over and shuts his door.
“whatareyoudoinghere?” the sentence leaves his mouth in an incoherent string of words. he grabs you by the shoulders and lets his eyes take in your face. every curve, every mark, every wrinkle, old and new.
you feel 19 again. you guess the urge to kiss izuku midoroya never leaves you, after all. 
“my sister just got a new job, so i’m living with her and helping her out with the kids while she adjusts.” you breathlessly stare at him. “i didn’t know you were still in the city.”
of course he’s still here- exactly where you left him after all these years. his grip on your shoulders tightens as a response. he’s scared that if he lets go, you’ll be gone for good, or at least for another 5 years.
“we should catch up.” you smile, grabbing onto his forearms as a warmth crawls up your next “when are you free? i mean, you’re probably really busy, but even a phone call-”
“tonight? how about tonight?” he blurts out. “we can go somewhere?”
izuku reassures himself that it’s fine. the kids can have a movie day, and he’ll spend that time grading papers and catching up on work. the only thing he needs is right in front of him.
seeing your face light up makes him feel nothing but nostalgic euphoria. he never wants to lose this feeling again.
“i’ll text you, then? you still have my number?”
he almost laughs in your face. your text conversation has been pinned to the top since the day you exchanged phone numbers.
“by heart.”
-
“tech? like you work in IT?” izuku’s face scrunches in disgust. he almost spits his drink out. “why the hell would you do that to yourself?”
“shut up!” you rub your face in your hands, snorting out a laugh. “it’s easy, i’m in a senior position, it pays well, and it’s remote. that’s all i care about for now.”
you two meet at a nearby bar. outside of his suit and tie, he looked much younger. he looks like the izuku you knew half a decade ago with his perpetual pink cheeks, slightly too large graphic tee, and red sneakers.
“so you’re now living with your sister… in the city.” he begins, looking into your eyes with a hopeful gleam. “for how long?”
“i’m not sure.” you shrug. “i’m still figuring it out, but my lease back home is up at the end of next month, so either way, i have to see what i want to do by then.”
“you should stay in the city.” the words slipped out of his mouth before he could process them.
“i mean- it’s just, you know, your sister is here, and her kids, and there’s more opportunities and stuff, and your work is remote anyways, and uh-” he stammers, words flowing out in an unstoppable stream.
“-and you’re here?” you tease.
his face flushes red.
“it is a possibility.” you sigh, shooting him a subtle smirk and saving him the embarrassment of coming up with a response. “i don’t know though. my sister wants me to stay too, but it’s a lot to think about.”
“i get it. my mom moved to the city to be near. it was hard for her.” he takes a sip of his drink. “not with me, though! she’s got a townhouse in the outskirts.” he quips.
you laugh. he definitely hasn't changed.
“speaking of, do you want to come back to my apartment? right now?” he shyly asks, avoiding your gaze for a moment.
“right now?” you look down and check the time displayed on your phone.
11:00pm.
“it’s a school night isn’t it?” you cock your head to the side. "i'm surprised you even wanted to meet up this late. thought i'd have to book office hours with you weeks in advance to catch up." you tease
izuku mentally curses at himself for being so forgetful, and so predictable. he doesn’t want this night with you to end, but that 7:00am alarm set for tomorrow morning is inching closer and closer.
“you’re right.” his confidence deflates. “i guess we should get going.”
you two pay your tab and make your way to the exit. you stand facing each other at the corner of the street, taking in each other’s presence once more.
there’s a faint buzzing in your ear from the lamppost hanging above you and your breaths come out in shallow puffs. you don’t know why you’re so nervous all of the sudden. you wish you didn’t have to leave again.
“so, can we do this again? can i see you again?” he asks, shoving his hands into his pockets. 
“you think i’d get to see izuku midoriya from beyond the grave and let you get away? for the second time?”
he feels like he could cry right now, so he pulls you in for a hug instead. you haven’t changed at all- not in the ways that matter anyways. his hand falls against the nape of your neck as he presses his cheek against your forehead.
“i missed you.” he mutters into your hair.
“me more.”
before you go your separate ways, i love you sits at the tip of his tongue. he wants to tell you. to finally say back after all of these years, but it somehow doesn’t feel right- not yet at least.
-
a few weeks later, you find yourself sitting in one of izuku’s classroom desks. the top button of his shirt is undone, his sleeves rolled up, and the soft late afternoon sunlight streaming through his window bathes him in gold.
from over your laptop screen, you see izuku mumbling to himself as he reads through essays while twirling a red pen between his fingers. the look of concentration had been plastered to his face since you were students- dark furrowed brows, unblinking eyes, a twinge of anxiety, and tightly pressed lips.
“you’re staring.” he mutters in between his incoherent mumbles.
his eyes snap up to meet yours.
“no i’m not.” you shrug, suppressing a satisfied smile as your eyes return to your own screen.
“I think i’ve gotten pretty good at noticing after spending all those years with you in that library.” he returns the smile, leaning back in his seat. “you don’t stare often, but when you do, you stare loud.”
“says you.” you roll your eyes. “you don’t think i ever noticed the thousand glances every hour?”
his face scrunches in embarrassment. 
“not like i could help myself.” he mutters, sheepishly scratching the back of his neck. 
“ditto.” you halfway close your laptop and rest your head on a propped elbow. “but you knew that.”
the air in the room thickens between you two. you’ve been itching to have a conversation with izuku about your last moments before you left the city 5 years ago, but there hasn’t been a good time to bring it up. you weren’t even sure if you should at all.
“i don’t think i ever noticed.”
“noticed what?”
“that you liked me.” he pressed his lips together, nervous to bring up the past. “like that at least. i didn’t have a clue before you took me to that party.”
“how could you?” you breathe out a chuckle. “you were drowning in your work and studies, there was no time to even sleep let alone have anything romantic.”
a beat of silence passes.
“sorry.” he mutters.
“don’t be.” you shrug. "i loved you enough for the both of us. you were my best friend, and i wouldn’t change anything. maybe i would’ve forced you to take more naps, though.” you chuckle.
he doesn’t like the past tense termage of this conversation. it makes him feel a bit nauseous thinking that he really did lose it all, even with you here in front of him.
“i told you i felt the same, didn’t i?”
“mmm.. i guess so.” you mutter. “but it’s different. it was a goodbye.”
“i’m sorry.” he says again, with a pout this time.
“stop that.” you launch your pen in his direction, bouncing off of the chalk board behind him. “i’m here now. you’re here. you’re still my best friend. everything’s the same, except we’re a little bit older and have 5 years to catch up on. isn’t that enough?”
you two danced around the conversation for a few more minutes before returning to your work in silence. there was no clear answer as to where your feelings for each other stand now, but he feels just as sick as he did the day of the grad party.
but isn’t that enough? to just have you here now?
on a saturday night in his apartment, just days before you have to go home and sort out your living situation, izuku tells you he loves you for the first time.
you’re staring at him, unsure if maybe you heard him wrong or if it was the television in the background.
“huh?” your mouth gapes open. “what’d you say?”
“i..i love you.” his voice shakes as the words leave his mouth. “i love you, okay?”
for a split second, there’s a sequence of images that flash through his mind. his body would learn to wake up at 6:55am every morning despite his alarm being set for 7:00am. he sees you peacefully sleeping next to him, and he can’t bring himself to let that alarm go off and disturb you.
he’d start the coffee pot- enough for two, obviously. maybe he’d leave a nice note for you to start your day off with. maybe a grocery list if you’re up for the trip, but you’d insist that you go to the market together on the weekend. you’re very distracting, and he knows this, but you’d somehow always meet at the dining room table or his classroom to do work together. 
he’d come home to you softly singing in the kitchen while making dinner. every now and then, he’d surprise you with flowers when he comes home from work, but he’ll brush it off and say it’s “for the apartment” just out of pure nerves. movie nights. falling asleep on the couch together. waking up in the afternoon with a split second of panic- but it’s the weekend and he doesn’t have a class to get to. he’d see the sunlight pool against your face as you slowly wake up from your slumber with fluttering eyelashes. he’d kiss you in that unsuspecting moment. he’d say he loves you with every breath leaving his lungs. he’d always have time for you.
“izuku.” you sadly smile, turning over to the stove and extinguishing the flame. “you don’t have to do this, you know?”
his heart sinks to his stomach.
“i know- no it’s not like that.” he stammers. “it’s because.. i’m saying it because…”
he makes his way around the kitchen island to you, firmly gripping your shoulders. he wants to make sure you hear this from him properly. after all of these years.
“because i love you, and i think i alway have.” he bites his bottom lip. “and i think i always will, and you’re here, and i’m here, and i know it’s hard because i kind of really messed things up in university, but to be honest, i regret everything because yeah i love my job and i’m doing okay now, but i lost you for 5 years and thought i’d never get to see you again and i should've-”
he stops himself when he sees his reflection in your eyes. he’s doing it again- the rambling.
“sorry.” he mutters. “but do you…do you understand?” he almost pleads.
“i understand.” you nod your head, a long exhale following your reply.
for a moment, you’re 22 again, and the tears in his eyes threatening to spill over are no longer apologetic, but now hopeful.
you can’t help but pull him into a hug, running your hand up and down his back as he sniffs back his tears.
“always such a crybaby, izuku.” you muffle into his shoulder. “i love you, too. you know that.”
“i feel so stupid.” he chokes out. “5 years is so long, and i feel like i blacked out for the entirety of that time and now that you’re back, i’m alive and can't do it without you again.”
he pulls away, looking back at you with furrowed brows and tear stained cheeks.
“please stay in the city. please.” 
your eyes widen at the request- the same request you wished left his lips all those years ago.
“you want me to stay?”
“selfishly, yes.” he bites down on his bottom lip. “here. with me.”
you take a moment and let your eyes wander around the apartment. you eye the half cooked dinner on the stove, the pile of unopened mail sitting on the counter, the row of dead plants lining the living room window.
izuku follows your eyes. he knows you’d settle in nicely, almost like the final piece in a puzzle. he feels it in his gut. he also feels the panic bubbling in his stomach the longer your gaze lingers at the chaos behind him.
“is that too fast?” he breaks the silence. “sorry. i don’t mean to jump from ‘i love you’ to ‘move in with me’ in the same night.” he awkwardly laughs, releasing you from his grip. “uh, maybe we’ll talk more about that after dinner.”
his face burns into a bright red- snapping out of his love dazed state and back into the reality where he just confessed to his best friend on a random night in.
“maybe after dinner, you can give me a proper tour of the place?” 
for the first time in izuku's life, he feels content knowing that time passes and the world continues to turn.
with you, it feels a bit gentler.
with you, it's worth it.
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bonus ssrryy i have to be indulgent lmao:
the first time izuku kisses you, you're on your way back from a late night outing from the bars with his coworkers where he introduces you as his partner for the first time.
"you sure you're okay?" he laughs as you rub your hand against the back of his neck from the passenger seat.
"super peachy, zuku." you hiccup, twirling a green curl between your fingers. "a few drinks got nothing on me."
izuku presses his lip into a wobbly smile.
from his peripheral, he feels your stare burning into his side profile, only making him more nervous by the second. he thinks about teasing you and calling it out for a moment, but he remains silent for the rest of the drive back home.
izuku parks the car, shutting off the engine and letting the overhead light dimly illuminated the space between you two.
he leans over to meet your eyes and rests his elbow over the center console, taking a second to silently debrief from the night's social outing.
"thanks for coming out with me." he whispers, reaching down and shyly interlocking his index finger with yours.
"i love a good excuse to drink." you laugh, leaning in and letting your foreheads connect.
izuku only had a single drink several hours ago, but he suddenly blacks out. with his other hands, he reaches up and tips your chin up and lock his lips with yours.
it takes you off guard, but you don't hesitate to reach up and rest your hand on the side of his neck.
when izuku pulls away, his breathing is heavy and face grows red. your finger remains interlocked.
"um. i love you." he coughs, briefly meeting your gaze before darting away. "uh, sorry i should have asked" he sheepishly rubs the back of his neck.
"i love you, izuku midoriya." you say in a teasing tone, leaning further over the center console and into the driver's seat.
izuku leans away until his back hits the soft interior of the car door.
"uh, we should.. we should go in? right?" he starts, eyes widening as you inch closer.
you reach over and grab the collar of his shirt, pulling him into you.
"yeah, we should." you say before crashing your lips into his, feeling him accept the defeat with a nervous laugh as he lets his hands find the soft skin of your cheek and warmth of your neck.
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