#I’m literally leaping for joy rn

[finallygaycoldones]

Ten minutes into a podcast and Schlatt is already measuring another man’s body…like yeaaaah that’s my whore 💛

[mothergold]

happy new years friends and followers! i remember doing one of these when i first joined fanfic tumblr and i’m feeling nostalgic so i thought i’d make one since it’s been awhile and i have some (positive) things to say!!

okay here goes!! putting everything under a readmore to not clog the dash <3

@tighnarly — hi baby. my princess, cupcake, gum drop, bunny baby <3 i’m so happy and grateful to have you as my future wife and i can’t wait for the day we get married. i know i mostly post about my fictional fav (albedo :p) but you’re truly all i want and need 🫶🏻 everytime i write a fanfic i’m thinking of you and me. every word i write is a love letter to you from me. i know i’m not the best with words but i hope one day you’ll be able to see you the way i see you. trust me when i say you are the most beautiful and kind human i have ever met in my life, and i’m gonna personally fight everyone and anyone who hurts you 😗 anywaysss hehe i love you sunshine 💖🫶🏻

@neuvillettes — bestieeeeeee my bestie from the westie 🫶🏻 i’m so glad we met and connected online bc now we legit our roommates and it’s so fun 😭🤚🏻 like i legit dont know how to tell you how much our friendship means to me. ur fr that one person that just GETS me. you’re so kind and funny and fun to be around, but i also love that ur not afraid to be honest with me, especially when i need that tough love approach. i love you oh so much bestie 💖 oh and thank you for the art tablet i literally am still screaming over it hehe.

@suyacho — my beloved bestie 🫶🏻 there is no one i love rambling about my selfship thots about more than you. i love how i can talk to you about anything and everything 🥹🫶🏻 i especially love how patient and supportive you’ve been of me this year, because it meant the entire world to me. i’m so glad we’re besties and i can’t wait for the day i meet you irl 🫶🏻💖mwah ily bestie hehe me, kaeya, and albedo are smoochin u rn 💖 (platonic)

@auphelia — mootie sweet sweet mootie. it always makes me happy seeing you on the dash, and i especially smile whenever i see u in my tags whether it’s a fic or just a regular old post. i get so giddy whenever i talk to u bc u are fr one cool pal!! i’m so glad we’re mooties! and i have to say i can’t wait to see what more you write because you are very talented 💖

@fleur-de-leap — leap!! i know i am very sporadic with my messages but i legit get so happy to interact with you and even more so when i see/read ur art/writing! you’re so fucking talented in so many ways and every day it truly impresses me! when we made the server together that day it made me SO happy and i get so happy seeing i get messages from you 💖 thank you for being my friend through all these years, truly it’s been a blessing.

@shig-a-shig-ah — bestie!!!!! my BESTIEEEE 🥹🫶🏻 i hope u know u mean the entire world to me. i can’t believe we’ve been friends since the beginning of my writing journey, it’s wild! istg ONE DAY BESTIE, ONE DAY we will meet and it will be the best day ever 🥹🫶🏻 ily bestie mwah

@blkladyelle — elle!! my beloved!! it’s so nice whenever i see you on the dash, and i’m always especially happy whenever i get a dm from you! i hope you feel loved and happy this upcoming year and that it holds so much positivity for you. because fuck i need you to have a good year!!! i love you sm and wanted to let you know my dm’s are always open for you 🫶🏻💖

@nc-vb — mootie aka my fellow albedo lover i get so happy whenever i see u interact with me, and i want you to know i’m always rooting for you! you’re writing is so good and honestly you’ve been such a joy to talk to in dm’s, and you’re so easy to talk to. i hope this year good things happen to you, because you truly deserve the world bub 🫶🏻

@4izawas — bestie cas!! i know we just became mutuals but u are legit one of the coolest people on this app! ur writing is fucking god tier and you are legit one of the funniest fuckers i know 😭💖 can’t count the amount of times u’ve made me giggle from something u said 🤭 i’m manifesting that aizawa confesses his love to u this year!!! 💖

if you’re not listed here it’s purely either because i forgot or we didn’t talk too much this year. so, please don’t take it personally if i didn’t include you!! i love all me mooties 🫶🏻💖

[allamericanb-tch]

crimson rivers thoughts (17)

@tastetherainbow290 this is so long sorry 😭😭 please forgive me for breaking into song several times the choir kid in me can’t help it

chapter 41

MARLENE NO

no way mcgonagall knew and just let this happen

THIS WAS DUMBLEDORES IDEA and just when i thought he couldn’t get worse 

voldy wanted to kill james regulus AND sirius? oh my

i know regulus and sirius both make it but. oh my.

god i hate dumbledore

ariana dumbledore reference??

black family reunion at the HUNGER GAMES ?!

yaxley and lestrange too?! 

alice 💔

EMMELINE NO

district 10 is gonna be like that one couple in catching fire the nerdy ones i can’t remember their names

i can’t remember if marlene has had a pov or not but i really hope she doesn’t die

genuinely i can’t remember how catching fire ends and i can’t ever watch the hunger games without thinking of crimson rivers again

“i hate him” take it back james you don’t mean that

dorcas making regulus look dangerous 

dorcas making sirius look plain

remus pov switch

🎶i know you get deja vu🎶

oh. he doesn’t know.

“it’s not fair” i am in shambles 

 chapter 42

aberforth pov jump scare

😧

why did dumbledore murder his lover ☹️

i am appreciating the sibling dynamic of albus and aberforth

emmeline

i feel so bad for dorcas rn

oh ok dorlene is dorlening again

hanky panky

oh marlene is kicking dorcas out now 

what is the ring for

lily!!!!!

oh a mission what is this about 

effie and monty?!

ok i love kingsley

i really want remus and lily to reunite

im scared for this mission

aberforth pov again

i like that their code words are their patronus

aberforth is in on it!! 

oh no what’s gonna happen to district 6

“she never killed anyone, until now” 😯

OH

MARY ?! 

😧

oh no effie

“Our boy's boy's boy.” this should not be as funny to me as it is but i’m glad to be laughing in the midst of all this

barty 

andromeda too

omg

aberforth what are you doing

oh! 

ted 💔

this was a hard chapter

i’m taking a break to rewatch the jegulus short film for the millionth time

chapter 43

please let this be lighter

“the hallows already know them, or they believe they do” this is giving me such. a feeling. idk the word 😭 but like yk how people idolize celebrities and think they know everything about them? like that

platonic moonwater <3

sirius and james are talking

remus leaping to go find sirius

they’re kissing ahhhh

"I love you more than the tides love the moon. I'm as temperamental as the ocean, and just the same, I'm at your mercy. Give me a ship, and I will wreck it at your command." 

hanky panky? hanky panky. 

spine realignment 😭😭

james stop you’re being mean

“He shuts the door gently, locks it, and goes to start a bath. At least there, when he cries, he can lie to himself about why.” 💔

why did i forget slughorn is in the phoenix

dorcas making a plan

lily!!!

effie is okay hooray

“I'm quite in love with Marlene McKinnon." DORLENE!!!!!! ❤️

SO THIS IS WHY SHE WANTS TO STEAL THE TRIBUTES ah love. how i love love. 

chapter 44

this chapter is literally called bad decisions. oh my. 

“brief depiction of violence (you'll probably like it, bc it's james being sexy)” 😭😭

“sirius and the other one” JAMES stop being so stubborn

yk im not even mad about james beating lucius with his cane

frank just “you can’t do that james”

then it just cuts to remus and sirius Hanky Panky 😭

pandora: james assaulted lucius 😧 sirius: haha nice

bellatrix is so bellatrix

regulus you traitor

🎶you betrayed me and i know that you’ll never feel sorry🎶

everyone just mocking sirius 😭

“Choose me. Pick me. Protect me." so pick me. choose me. love me.

“Reflexively, James smiles at him, lopsided and warm, because, for just a moment, he's living in a world where seeing Regulus fills him with joy, with delight, with love.” 

regulus here to fight?!

“i hate you so fucking much” and then they start kissing 😭 honestly so real

giggling my feet rn

A PARTING GIFT JAMES YOU DIDNT i wish you could’ve seen my face when i read this oh my god

sirius evaluation time

oh my regulus what

sirius what are you doing

oh? eat i guess 😭

why is regulus visiting lucius 

🎶i don’t smoke except for when im missing you🎶

they’re having dinner. hmm.

evan 💔

he got the lowest score 😭 shocking im shocked who would have guessed this

well.

chapter 45

cream cheese bagels!! (i’m tagging you in my mind runar)

of course james hates bagels now why is he so petty

🎶you know how scared i am of elevators never trusted them🎶

augusta always suspicious of frank and alice 😭

oh james and regulus are alone again

and they’re kissing

Hanky Panky in the elevator 😭

really just out here ruining all dorcas’ hard work

sirius knows exactly what they were doing

james “i don’t want to talk about it” potter

narcissa pulling the baby card?! ok peeta

quillkiller is quillkillering

“He's going to die never hearing Regulus say he loves him” ☹️ prove him wrong reggie

augusta you icon

sirius you menace

“my moon” ❤️‍🩹

regulus interview time

jegulus ☹️

yes regulus

REGULUS “IF IT WASNT FOR THE WEDDING” BLACK is everyone peeta in this chapter

me when i lie

i’m giving you an all tomato. which means you give me the whole tomato, or else. (please get the ref)

alphard ?!

omg were they lovers i’m so here for this

oh no marlene

GUNSHOTS?!

ew voldy booooo 🍅🍅🍅

SNIVELLUS WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE 

"There will be one winner. I do not care what it takes, but you will not allow it to be Sirius or Regulus Black, am I understood?" 😧

DONT KILL THE MCKINNONS?!

no no no please let james say goodbye to sirius and regulus 

chapter 46

remu ❤️‍🩹

“Whether it's me or him or both of us, James, you won't."  don’t hurt me in this way

god i’m gonna cry

SPINE REALIGNMENT sirius please 😭

regulus volunteering for james to spite sirius 😭

remus and regulus friendship ❤️‍🩹

the stapler 😭 lily 

"I'm not waiting around for you to be too late this time." ahhhh marlene

“No one or nothing can have it, because it belongs only to James” 🤭

parting gift mention 😧

why is this so sad omg i can’t handle any more angst

they’re kissing!

"I would have married you”

SIRIUS BIT REMUS 😭😭

so much hanky panky in this chapter 

wolfstar ❤️‍🩹

if this was anyone but remus and sirius it would give me the ick

they’re so cute i love them why do they have to say goodbye

🎶why do you have to say goodbye🎶if i say goodbye the nation learns to move on it outlives me when im gone🎶 

they’re not Just Friends anymore!!!

“always too late” ☹️

dorlene is so sad in this omg. but i guess everything is so sad in this 😭

dorcas cutting marlene’s hair

jegulus ☹️

“I do everything I do because I love you!" “So do I!" 😯

“It's the first time James speaks his name since telling him that he hated him.”

baby

this physically pains my heart to read. i just want them to be happy. 

"Would you marry me?" jegulus getting engaged?! 

i don’t think im gonna read another chapter today… since they’re going in the arena…

[oinkawa-bb]

first time dads!haikyuu pt. 1

note: here’s part one? i wrote this headcanon for daichi, kuroo, and oikawa ^-^ um i kinda went off i am having a major thing for domesticity rn i'm sorry but let me know if you’d like a second part! or leave me a request for anything you’d like to read here! my reqs are open, and if you have any questions about what i write, check it out here

mentions/topics: pregnancy, domesticity, timeskip, female reader insert

part two (iwaizumi, suna, the miya twins)

part three (tsukki, akaashi, yams, kenma)

☀︎—daichi sawamura 

one word: prepared

from the day you surprised him with the pregnancy test, he’s been preparing for this maybe he started even before that but he’s just eager ok

expect daichi to utilize any and all resources he can get his hands on

parenting books and birthing classes and pestering colleagues and relatives for advice

he’s super thorough and wants to cater to your every need during pregnancy 

always a little on edge and nervous but won’t show it because he wants you to be able to fully rely on him emotionally and physically i love this man

his favorite part (after bringing home his baby ofc) was setting up the nursery

he literally stared at the crib and closet full of smol onesies for an hour with major uwu eyes because the man is just so excited <33

and when the day comes,

daichi is calmly but quickly ushering you to the car while he single handedly carries the bulky hospital bag (which he definitely helped you overpack months in advance)

he’s cool and collected and clear minded because the man has read too many books and watched too many videos on how labor progresses

after guiding you through a rough and long labor with deep breathing techniques

he finally catches the first sight of his baby,,

and he’s super teary eyed and overwhelmed with all the emotions he tried to suppress while preparing for his baby’s arrival

but his dad instincts majorly kick in and he’s counting the baby’s fingers and toes and asking the doctor questions and keeping an eye on the nurses who hold his whole world in their hands

during skin-to-skin, daichi can’t stop touching the baby’s little fingers and toes and cooing softly (incredibly soft daichi is a rare sight)

but still, the sight of daichi holding his baby against his chest is like none other - it looks like he was waiting his whole life for this moment because he was uwuwuwu

after returning home,

daichi is super super extra tender with you

he knows (from research and now experience) the emotional and physical toll it takes on your body, 

paternity leave is an unspoken necessity for daichi 

changing diapers? he’s on it. burping the baby? he’s on it. checking on the baby in the dead of night? he’s on it.

daichi wants to do whatever helps you recover the fastest

and he’s just so so soft and sweet to you and it’s just UGHHHH

dad daichi is best daichi

☀︎—tetsuro kuroo

for a nerd, the poor boy is kinda slow and he doesn’t realize that you’ve been leaving him hints for about a week now

when he said kenma was the brain, he meant it

it’s only when you leave your positive pregnancy test blatantly next to the bathroom sink one night 

he finds it and he’s jumping and pumping his fists in the air like an idiot

it’s the cutest moment when he comes sprinting out of the bathroom with his hands flailing in the air and his face plastered with the biggest smile

but he lets his excitement die down as he pulls you into a soft hug and kisses the top of your head 

he’ll murmur softly with his chin resting on your head,,

“how long have you known?”

“tetsu, i’ve known for more than a week, and i’ve been trying to tell you for more than a week too...” PFFFFT

but now that he knows, he can’t be separated from your side

like, if you thought he was affectionate before, soon-to-be dad kuroo is triple that

he can’t stand to see you in discomfort, and he feels helpless seeing you struggle with morning sickness among other symptoms

so he does his absolute best to help quell your discomfort with his affection

he’ll massage your sore back and your swollen feet and try to adjust to any cuddling position that helps you sleep better

he’s also trying your cravings with you and he’s overly eager to go clothing shopping for the baby

kuroo wants to make the experience good for you, so he picks up cooking and cleaning duty as often as he can 

kuroo in an apron is now a normal sight to see

and when your due date arrives,

it’s the middle of the night when your water breaks,

and kuroo leaps out of bed when he hears you whimper and tug on his shirt

he knows how anxious you are, and he channels as much calm energy as he can to help you relax

he’s big on positive affirmations, from the drive to the hospital to the labor process

“baby, you’re doing so good, okay?”

“you can do it, i know you can.”

BIG uwu

but it really hurts him to see you in pain, and he’s trying to do anything and everything when you experience contractions

but after all of the contractions and pain and anxiety, he finally gets to see the baby rest on your chest

silent tears of joy fall from his eyes, and he’s leaning over the both of you, planting gentle kisses on your hair

when he’s reaching out to touch his baby’s smol hands,

the baby’s whole hand wraps around his pointer finger and he’s so smitten

dad kuroo nearly passes out

at home, he’s super encouraging to you, and he’s always reassuring and praising you for working tirelessly

he didn’t know he could experience more love in his life than he already has

but now he knows he can with his new little family<3333

☀︎—tōru oikawa

he’s literally so overjoyed and excited

like he picked you up and spun you around and peppered you with kisses after you first shared the news

after the first trimester passes, oikawa’s the type to tell everyone (who will listen) that he’s going to be a dad

like,, he’s picking you up weird craving foods or something and the cashier couldn’t care less but he’s like

“yeah, it’s for my baby momma” <3333 LMAO i’m just kidding he doesn’t say this... exactly

he’s also obsessed with your baby bump

like obsessed

he always absentmindedly rests his hand beneath your bump and caresses it tenderly

majorly freaks out when he feels a kick

kisses your bump almost more than you (i said almost because if you pout at him after, he’ll kiss your lips twice more ahhh)

i bet he definitely tried to plan some corny halloween costume involving your bump

it’s not all easygoing sometimes though,,

oikawa lays awake sometimes at night and he’s super anxious and insecure about being a dad

but one glance at your peaceful sleeping face

and he feels so reassured and lucky to have you as a partner

the day your water breaks, oikawa literally gets a superhuman adrenaline rush lol

like he’s yeeting things into the car on top of your already well-packed hospital bag because he just wants to be sure everything goes smoothly

“tōru we don’t need the yoga ball-”

“WE’RE BRINGING IT”

he’s definitely a little more nervous and frazzled than you are and he’s not the best at hiding it

but you think it’s funny and cute to see him like this

and after hours of labor,

it honestly looks more like oikawa gave birth LMAO

his eyes are kinda wild and his hair is so disheveled and his clothes are crinkled from trying to cuddle and comfort you in the hospital bed

but he’s overwhelmed with a range of emotions

he’s definitely doing his ugly cry until he gets the chance to hold his baby

his heart stops for a moment and he swears that time stops too

the love in oikawa’s eyes is undeniable, and he promises right then and there that he’d do anything for this little bundle of joy

after bringing the baby home,

oikawa’s glued to the baby monitor if he’s not physically with his baby

but when he’s settled into bed with you after the baby’s asleep, you can hear him mumble incoherently about how happy he is

and it’s true

his eyes literally shine with joy now that he has two loves of his life

[tyonfs]

and they were roommates have to be my fav out of the bitch hunters series!! because for the other two, i feel like the attraction is more of like a sweet college fling but for this one i absolutely felt like they were soulmates and no words can describe the emotions i felt while reading it 😭💔 you are a phenomenal writer i hope you know that

omg this ask …. hits so deep in my heart 🤧💖 ANON i am on my knees rn thank you thank you thank you sm for taking the time to send this in !! 🥰 i’m rlly glad it was your favorite and literally hearing you call them soulmates made my heart LEAP with joy like :’)) so glad i could write their relationship in a way that reflects that 🫶 i hope you have a great day and thank you soooo much for reading ❤️❤️

[kaaytea]

So how about Lev, Tsuki, Kuroo and Oiks with a really short and shy s/o. (I'm 4'9 so all i want is for someone to pick me up from under the arms like a cat and carry me on their shoulders 👉👈🥺) - Bug Anon

Jsksndk ✨this~✨

Short s/o

⤷Includes: Tsukki, Kuroo, Lev, and Oikawa 

----------------------------------------------------------

Tsukishima

I'm sorry but this is Tsukki, he will clown you

No one else is allowed to tease you about your height tho, he will actually end them with some back handed comment

He's the type where if you walk up to him during the day and start talking he'll kinda ignore you a bit then be like "oh sorry, I didn't see you down there"

He’s so mean about it but at the same time he loves when you ask him for help

He makes a big show about being annoyed that you need him to grab something off the top shelf when secretly it's his favorite thing

Thinks it's the funniest thing when you try to kiss him

Like it's not gonna happen you're way to smol to reach his lips

He'll torture you for a bit but eventually he leans down so he can kiss you

Sorry but he rests his arm on your head a lot 😔

Is probably happy that you're a bit shy bc it's easy to fluster you and he vibes well with people that lean more introverted

Living with tall people is actually the worst, like whY does Tsukki feel the need to put all of your favorite mugs on the tOp!! Shelves when he knOws you can't reach them

You know it's fine, you're used to this and have become a champion counter climber 😌✨

So that explains why you were currently kneeling on the counter reaching up for a mug at 10 pm

"What the hell are you doing?"

".......getting my mug? What's it look like silly"

Why are you like this? Why do you feel the need to put yourself in dangerous situations so much?

Kei sighed and walked over to you, he grabbed your waist and pulled you down from the counter then reached up and got the mug down

"You need to stop endangering yourself when you could literally just ask me to help you"

"I wouldn't be endangering myself if you stopped putting MY things on the high shelves!... I swear you do it on purpose sometimes"

He definitely does it on purpose....but he'll never tell you that :)

Kuroo

God he loves you

Kuroo is such a huge dork so expect him to fawn over you

He won't tease you toooo much like he occasionally will hold something out of your reach to watch you jump around trying to get it back

But he really just appreciates you as you are 😌

Kuroo is used to shy, introverted ppl so he's not bothered by it at all

As long as he can hug you he's happy

He LOVES to rest his chin on your head!!

If you're still too short for him to do that he also LOVES giving you back hugs, so either way it's a win win

You were watching Tetsu practice spiking, most of the team had left, only a few stragglers remained trying to get in some extra practice

You were very content with your spot, you were out of the way and happily sat swinging your legs back and forth. Plus you had a pretty good view of Tetsu and Kenma from your bench meaning you could soak up the pure joy that radiated off your boyfriend

Tetsu looked over to see you watching

"Wanna try spiking, sweetheart?"

"Tetsu, I don't think I can even jump high enough to see over the net"

"We won't know until you try~"

I mean he was right...I guess it couldn't hurt

And ya know he looks really cool when he spiked so maybe you'd look pretty cool too!

You walked over to Tetsu and gave Kenma the ok to set the ball for you

You jumped up and you actually hit the ball!!

But the ball didn't even make it past the net 😭

"DON'T LAUGH AT ME!"

"No no you did really good!... You uh... Looked very cute?"

">:(("

"Here do it again I wanna try something"

You sighed, he was just setting you up for failure so he can watch you make a fOOL of yourself again

Kenma set the ball and you jumped up

ONLY THIS TIME YOU KEPT RISING

NDKDNDK KUROO IS REALLY LIFTING YOU UP RN SO YOU CAN SPIKE

You hit the ball and it shot to the ground with a satisfying slap!

"THAT FELT SO COOL!! I FEEL SO POWERFUL!!"

"Yeah you sure look intimidating having me lift you up so you can look over the net"

"Let me have this moment, Tetsurou"

Lev

If anyone were to pick you up like a cat it's this kid

He is lAnKy and you being smol?

He will pick you up....you physically cannot stop him

Likes to lift you up and spin you around when you come to visit him at practice

It usually ends with you being pretty dizzy and Yaku kicking Lev for treating you like a cat

Lev is pretty oblivious to what he says, specifically to people that are shorter to him

He might say something that’s a little rude and unknowingly offend you but he really doesn't mean it

Like it just doesn't click for him that there's a chance he's being insensitive

Just remember that Lev would never ever hurt you intentionally and if he realizes that he hurt you he'd probably panic and continuously apologize to you for the next week

I feel like Lev would compare your hand sizes a lot. He thinks its funny how much smaller your hands are compared to his he gets this funny feeling in his chest whenever he does, you’re just very tiny and cute

It seems like wherever Lev goes he always finds a cat

It's very odd

You were walking around a park for a date when he suddenly stopped at a tree

"AH A CAT WE HAVE TO HELP IT!"

"......It's pretty far up there Lev, I don't think even you can reach it"

"We can't just leave it!!! Quick get on my shoulders!!"

What

How did this happen?

Correction, How did you let this happen?

You reached your hand out to the orange cat sitting on the branch, it slowly made its way in your direction

"Did you save it?"

"almost, move a little to the right"

That cat gracefully leaped into your arms and started purring

Ok maybe this was worth it bc this cat is really cute🥺

You and Lev ended up playing with the cat for a bit getting it to bat at some leaves

The cat even followed you guys for a bit and you see it every so often on your park dates

You named it apricot

Oikawa

I hate to say it but you know that feeling you get when you see a really cute kitten or puppy?

Yeah that's how Oikawa reacts

You're just.....tiny and he has this overwhelming need to hold you

He honestly loves that you're short

Oiks is, surprisingly, pretty tall. Like man is pushing 6'0 so having a small s/o just makes him :))!!

Oikawa doesn't mind your timidness, he thinks it adds to your charm!

Boy friken loves when you hide your face in his chest

Also king of piggy back rides 😌

He will carry you everywhere if given the chance

You were walking back to Oikawa's place

He just finished practice and it was a Friday so he insisted you come over for a sleepover

Yes he still calls them sleepovers, let him live it's cute

You were walking down the street, hand in hand, and the sun had just started going down painting the sky with warm reds and oranges

To be honest you were kinda tired so you started dragging behind a bit

You took a nap while you waited for Seijoh’s practice to end and you only woke up maybe 15 minutes ago? So you were kinda in that weird state where your awake...but not very aware

"(y/n)-chan?"

"huh?"

"Did you not hear what I said?"

"no....I'm sorry Turoo I'm still a bit tired"

":0!! I can't have my precious s/o wAlking if they're tired!"

He just scOOPS you up bridal style and continues walking like it's nothing

I-

Huh I mean sure I guess, if you really insist Tooru

You wrap your arms around his neck for more stability and he sneaks a kiss on to your cheek

"Won't your arms get tired carrying me?"

"Oh please, you're as light as a feather"

😳 ig Volleyball training has it's benefits bc he really can carry you everywhere and never get tired

[southernmommyrn-blog]

Beginnings

With wine in hand and Soundgarden playing in the background, I ponder the existence of this new Mommy, RN that has been created in absence of the Heather Ashley Dunnam from the early 2000s. I have been blessed with a fantastic family. I have felt very little absence of love in my lifetime and the obstacles I have overcome as a young woman seem trivial as a more matured adult. Before the decision of dedicating my career in the service of others, I was a child watching my parents go through a nasty divorce. One of my earliest memories was watching Micky Mouse with my older brother in a very 80s chic house and my dad walking up to us to kiss us good bye signaling the end of what I can only imagine a stressful marriage for both of my parents. Everything else is a haze of disappointment like waiting on my dad to come pick me up at the door only to be left in tears (which began the mommy-daughter nail salon dates). James, my brother, and I soon found ourselves in the beautiful state of South Carolina as Mom was pursuing a career as a CRNA. This path eventually lead out family to North Dakota. I was never a fantastic student. ADD seemed to be suspected. My speech was sub-par and my listening skills were garbage. Luckily, my mother believed in being educated and being self-sufficient with her southern work ethic and whatnot, so she pushed to have me tested for a learning disability. By God’s good graces, the person testing my hearing was doing a thesis on Central Auditory Processing Disorder and picked up on all the cues. Specific words would slip my mind, but I could describe the words in detail. Mom described having a conversation with me as “exhausting” at times. I soon found myself in speech therapy and in a music class playing violin to help differentiate between foreground and background noise. All the while, my mom was working 2 jobs and going to anesthesia school. Summers were spent in Mississippi with my dad and the rest of the Dunnams. Wonderful times. As my brother put it last year, kids are the most adaptable creatures God made. We pressured Mom to move back to Mississippi to be close to family. This brought new challenges. Family life brought its own drama. School was pathetic compared to what we had up North. My brother has always been gifted and breezed through classes. With Mom as a tutor, I excelled. No orchestral program in Mississippi. I soon found myself wielding a saxophone marching with the other band geeks and loving it. Did I want to be a nurse? NOPE! Around this time, my sweet sister came into the picture along with a lot of new adjustments as kids normally do with the get a new sibling around the age of 11. Eventually, I graduated with plans of becoming a college band director and being a concert saxophonist specializing in jazz and classical French music like Claude Debussy. I received scholarships to go through music programs and wow’ed everyone who heard me play. As I was considered special needs under a 504 plan with about a 50% hearing loss, not bad, right? I had a lot of support through this from my mom, dad, step-mom, and best friend, Amy. Not a solo project. One day, I’m driving home from college and I get what I’ll refer to as a spiritual bitch slap. I have this soul crushing revelation that I don’t want to entertain people. I want to save people. Heather Dunnam, RN has a nice ring to it. I apply for nursing school and I find myself in nursing school with my best friend, Amy. I soon graduate and find myself with my first nursing job an hour from home. This is fantastic. Dream come true, right!? NCLEX passed with the least amount of questions and top tier questions. Always 90 something percentile with test questions. I got this shit. I’m going to make being a nurse my metaphorical bitch! Once again, nope! I soon find myself wondering wtf I’m doing. My preceptor doesn’t like me. I’m nice. Who doesn’t like me??? This woman, that’s who. What the hell is coming out of my patient. Why are you literally turning blue? You want me to take care of how many patients?? Each day presented a new challenge that I managed to push through. Several days, I left crying. I still remember the face of my first patient who passed away after I gave him TLC for 6 days straight. I remember the face the patient gave me who threw my fat ass 10 feet like I was a rag doll. I remember the joy I felt when I left that floor to work women’s, postpartum and antepartum. I remember the scream the woman let out with her 7th miscarriage as she delivered her beautiful babies with no breath or noise. I remember the silent sobs after bringing a new Mom her beautiful child motionless and cold after resting in lab before going to her final resting place. I’ve held the hand of a patient as the left to be with our Lord as they had no one to share that final moment with. I’ve eased that transition for the patient and their family. I’ve given the utmost care to the emptiest body so the children were able to see a resting face when they said goodbye. I’ve kept people from dying. I’ve been a travel nurse. I’ve adapted to the most strained staffing situations while carrying the most precious thing in my womb. My child was being built inside me while I delivered a healing touch to my patients during their time of need. As I have created a human in my body, I developed a whole new respect for people. You aren’t my mom and dad. You’re my son looking to me when he’s an older man for my love and care and that’s what I’ll give you. You are my patient and I’ll treat you with the tenderness I felt when I held my perfect son on my arms because you’re someone’s world just as he is mine. I’ve ventured in a whole new field of nursing and enjoying the procedure side of nursing. I’m learning a new respect for myself as a professional and watching my precious son grow leaps and bounds every day all the while trying to keep the love and support while my patients are at their weakest and most vulnerable. I say this to the new nurse. It’s so hard. You will hate yourself. You will despise the world, but don’t let your heart harden. This is labor of love. Connect with your patients. Cry with them. Pray with them. Love them like your own. Don’t ashamed of what you don’t know. Strive to know more and do more for those under your care. Be an advocate. Be a mommy. Be a Nurse❤️