#I’m just going to retreat into fanfiction and enter my denial stage now

[fuck-kirk]

Izzy Rant

Honestly I feel like out of everything I’m mostly mad that Izzy got such a lame ass death. Like. He didn’t even sacrifice himself for someone he loved. The crew he loved. He got shot by accident by the lamest mother fucker on the planet. He didn’t get to go out fighting, sword in hand. He died from a surprise gunshot wound dealt by a coward who was running away from him. So FUCKING lame. Which like, I get it, not everyone gets to go out in a blaze of glory but damn if the narrative couldn’t have a least given him that.

Him dying had no narrative significance other than to absolve Ed. They literally fridged him. I’ll even argue that Izz’s arc was by NO MEANS resolved at all and he still had so much to add to the narrative.

So, not only did his death mean NOTHING, it also just happened in the most rushed, lame ass way possible. And the crew hardly even looked sad. I understand that most of this is due to it being rushed, but if you decide to kill off a fan favorite character I think you should either figure out a way to do it in the best way possible, or just like. Not do it at all.

Also, I get that using his leg, sword, cravat and ring to make his grave marker is Aesthetic™️ but to me it’s just like. Super fucked up that they didn’t bury him with those things ?? Huh?? That stuff will just like. Get lost or stolen eventually …. Like why would he not be buried with those things.

Also also, if there is a season 3…imagine having the titanic luck of having Mr. CON O’NEILL on the cast and killing him off. Con plays off everyone so well and I’d argue is one of, if not the best actor out of everyone on set (no shade to the rest of the crew. I love them all. But Con is just built different). It’s such a WASTE is the thing that gets me. Con as Izzy adds SO much to the show and a s3 without him just feels like it would be so lackluster.

Alright. I think that’s all. Had to get it out of my system.

[bromfieldhall]

What Makes You Beautiful - A Mentalist Fanfiction

TIMELINE: Set some in the future after series four finale. Minor spoilers.

SYNOPSIS: “Yesterday I made a New Year’s resolution. I’m going to give myself one whole year to woo and win the love of California Bureau of Investigation’s Senior Agent Teresa Lisbon.”

PAIRING: Patrick Jane/Teresa Lisbon

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4

CHAPTER 5

"To prove I'm right, I put it in a song"

~ What Makes You Beautiful ~ 1D

May 10th – 8.09am

I'm finally taking Lisbon out to dinner tonight.

I've been half expecting a new case to come up and delay our plans again but so far it all seems to be going OK. I'm on my way to pick her up now and we're going to a restaurant I know on the other side of town.

Lisbon said that I could decide where to go. I'm pleased about that. It shows a certain amount of trust in my choice…and also that she isn't as adverse to the possibility that I might take her back to my place as she so obviously was to Carlton.

Tempting as that idea is though, I want to get this right. I would say that I want everything to be perfect but as perfection never happens I'll go for faultless instead.

Things have been…different between us since the night she kissed me. We haven't spoken about it, naturally, that just wouldn't be us. As far as Lisbon is concerned she simply paid part of her forfeit. I let her think that as it'd be pointless to try and convince her otherwise. She can be very stubborn at times.

Things have changed though. Subtle, inconsequential things that other people wouldn't even notice…but I do. The odd touch here, a small smile there, not being quite so frowny with me. She's even taken to making me a pot of tea every now and then. She doesn't tell me. Just gives me a look when she leaves the break room and I know.

It's the little things.

I arrive at her apartment block and quickly make my way to her door. I knock twice and wait impatiently for her to answer. The door opens and when I see her, she quite literally takes my breath away. The simple knee length jade dress does everything to compliment her figure and her eyes and I find myself grinning like an idiot.

"Hi. You look lovely, Teresa," I say, unable and, quite frankly, unwilling to look away. "Really. Stunning."

"Thanks," she replies as she blushes slightly and dips her head in that sweet way of hers before looking me up and down appreciatively. "You too. New suit?"

You see? Little things. Who else would notice that considering I wear one every day?

"Yes," I reply before leaning towards her conspiratorially and adding, "It's a special occasion."

The warm colour invades her cheeks once again and I begin to wonder how many more times I'll be able to elicit such a response this evening. I hold out the crook of my arm to her with a smile.

"Shall we?"

She locks her door then takes my arm and we head to my 'contraption' as she so enjoys calling it. Once we get in and are on our way, we partake in chitchat about the case we've just closed. I'm happy to talk about work for the moment but I hope to steer our conversation to a more personal level once we're having dinner.

We reach the restaurant and after I find a space to park, we go in. I've been here before but Lisbon hasn't so I'm hoping that she likes this place as much as I do.

"This looks great," she comments with a smile as she takes in the ambiance.

It's not a large restaurant. There's a small stage with a live band playing soothing music at one end with a small area for dancing in front of it. Some dining tables fill the rest of the space in the middle and around the outside, along the walls, are some cosy looking, high backed booths. I've asked for one of those tonight because they will give us the chance of some privacy without being too intimate.

I have to tread carefully. In my head this is a date. In hers I know she views this evening as just something she must do because of the auction. I'm sure she wouldn't be quite so relaxed if she thought it were anything more.

The waiter shows us to a booth in the corner and takes our drinks order then leaves us a menu and walks away. As I sit opposite her I let my gaze roam over her lovely face while she looks around the restaurant with interest.

"How did you find this place?" she asks, bringing her eyes back to mine.

"It was after a case a while back," I reveal with a shrug. "I saw a sign advertising the band and came in. I used to come here sometimes when things got a little…too much at work."

Her eyes cloud over slightly as I remind us both of a time we'd rather forget and I sigh as I realise I've been remiss about doing something I should have done a long time ago.

"You know, I don't think I ever apologised to you about Lorelei. About a lot of things I did, and said, back then," I say contritely.

I do my best to quash the guilt that comes with remembering my, at times, despicable behaviour towards the woman I love and once again find myself humbled at her vast capability for forgiveness. I don't know where she keeps it in that tiny body of hers but I know it's there somewhere because she's shaking her head before I've even finished speaking.

"You don't have to. It's done. It's over. He's gone. Let's just move on," she tells me sincerely.

"I'm trying to," I assure her with a small smile. Her hand is resting on the table and I reach across to lay mine gently over hers as I add, "But I know my actions hurt you, Teresa, and for that I'm truly sorry. It was the last thing I ever wanted to do."

I can feel her tense a little and wait for the denials to come or for her to remove her hand but, to my surprise and happiness, she doesn't do any of these. Instead, she slowly runs her thumb along mine and looks at me so intently I feel my heart skip a beat.

"It was hard for all of us back then. We both said and did things we regret but I'm just glad we made it out the other side relatively unscathed," she says seriously.

I know what she's referring to and I can't have her thinking like that over me.

"You shouldn't regret killing Red John," I tell her decisively.

"I don't," she says but then she looks down and pulls her hand away from beneath mine. "But I am sorry that he couldn't stand trial so that you'd perhaps get some closure."

I can almost see her building up the emotional walls and retreating behind them as our conversation takes a turn I hadn't been expecting. I do my best to hide my frustration and try to put her mind at rest a little.

"I got my closure the moment you shot him in the head, Lisbon," I say wryly.

She looks surprised.

"Really?" she queries hesitantly. "I thought you blamed me for taking your chance at avenging your family away from you."

I sigh again. I had suspected she felt like this. It's long past time we had this conversation and while I didn't really want to do it now, in reality it's probably not a bad thing to finally clear the air once and for all. There are some things I need to say and while they may hurt, I know that I have to be completely honest for my own sake as well as hers. It's yet another step in my progress of healing and moving on…and I hope in hers too.

"Oh, I did blame you. I think I even hated you at one point," I reply candidly. She looks shocked and upset but now I've started I need to tell her everything about that time. "But those feelings didn't last long. I'm not stupid, Teresa. Petulant and childish that I didn't get my own way, maybe, but deep down I knew that how it ended was the right way. I still got my revenge and I still had my life. It was like a huge weight had been lifted and I don't believe I ever even thanked you for it."

"There's no need…" she begins again but I won't let her finish.

"Yes! There is a need," I tell her firmly. She stops and looks at me and I smile back at her affectionately, trying to let her see just how much she means to me. "If it wasn't for you I'd have lost myself years ago, Teresa. So…thank you."

She doesn't get a chance to respond, which is probably a relief to her as she looks kind of speechless at my words, because the moment is broken by the return of the waiter with our bottle of wine. We continue to stare at each other as the man busily fills our glasses with a flourish and waits patiently for me to have a taste. I find the whole thing a little annoying as it means that I have to take my eyes off of the woman opposite me but I do as expected and give him a nod of assent.

He seems pleased and asks if we're ready to order. Since we haven't even glanced at the menu yet I tell him no. He looks a little chagrined at this and tells us rather pointedly that he'll be back to take it soon.

Lisbon looks at me in amusement when the man leaves and I grin back.

"I did say I came here for the band," I point out dryly as I pick up the menu and hand it to her.

She takes it from me and begins to read while I have some more of my wine and look casually around the room. I notice a young couple entering the restaurant then do a double take and almost choke on my drink when I suddenly realise that it's Rigsby and Van Pelt.

My stomach drops and I glance at Lisbon. She's still reading the menu and I hope she stays like that until the other couple are seated…preferably at another restaurant.

Unfortunately, this is all my fault. I told Rigsby about this place a couple of weeks ago. I just can't believe he's picked tonight of all nights to come. What rotten timing. For all of us.

I watch a waiter lead them our way and feel my insides sink further and further down. I'm not worried about them seeing us. I'm worried about Lisbon seeing them and realising that they've gotten back together as I'd suspected. They've been much more discreet about it this time though, I have to give them that.

They are almost at our booth when they finally see me and come to an abrupt halt. The smiles on their faces freeze then fade completely when their gazes slide across the table and spy Lisbon. The look of horror that replaces their once happy countenances would be mildly amusing if Lisbon didn't happen to look up and notice them at the exact same time.

"Rigsby? Van Pelt? What are you doing here?" she asks with some confusion.

As much as it pains me and will probably ruin my evening, as well as my chances with Lisbon, I know there's only one thing I can do in this situation.

"Oh, I invited them," I blurt out cheerfully as I stand up, drawing all their surprised looks. I request another couple of glasses and more wine then send the bemused waiter on his way before I turn back and continue, "We didn't get a chance for pizza after closing the Daniels case yesterday so it seemed a good idea to do it tonight, since we were here for dinner anyway."

Obviously, I play 'inconsiderate jackass' really well if the disappointment and annoyance I see flare briefly on Lisbon's face is anything to go by. She looks at the couple then back at me and produces, what I can tell is, a very forced smile to her lips.

"It is a good idea," she says suddenly glancing around before turning back to me to ask pointedly, "Where's Cho?"

"He said he couldn't make it," I reply dismissively.

I look at Rigsby and gesture for he and Van Pelt to take my side of the booth. As they settle themselves in, I gaze at Lisbon and point to the seat next to her. She frowns then tuts in irritation before moving up a little so that I can sit down.

I slide in next to her and relish the warm feel of her leg against mine as I sit just that little bit too close. I hear the smallest of catches in her breathing and, under the guise of making myself comfortable, I budge up just that tiny bit more so that we're touching almost from hip to knee. Maybe this turn of events isn't so bad after all.

"Well, this is cosy," I remark as I grin at everyone around the table.

Rigsby and Van Pelt look as if they want a large hole to swallow them up and Lisbon alternates between giving them suspicious little glances and trying not to look me in the eyes. I push the menu across the table and the younger couple gratefully become absorbed in deciding what to eat.

Our waiter returns, a slight rise of his eyebrows the only indication that he's surprised there's now four at our table and we order our food.

"You didn't even look at the menu," Lisbon observes, finally looking at me properly.

"I have the same thing every time I come here," I reply. "I'm a creature of habit, you know that."

"Creature of obsession, more like," she snorts wryly.

"That's true," I agree with a nod as I look at her keenly. "Once I decide I want something, I'll pursue it until I get it. Sometimes it takes a while, but I haven't failed yet."

I see a hint of uncertainty in her eyes as she gazes back at me. I can tell she's trying to decipher if there's more to my words than just face value. I smile at her softly and her uncertainty turns to perplexity, which makes me grin even more. I do so love confounding the woman.

A quiet clearing of the throat from across the table reminds me that we're not actually alone and I reluctantly break eye contact. Rigsby and Van Pelt are looking at us as if trying to work out what's going on so I do what I do best and cause mischief.

"So, Grace, I saw Harris from Fraud today. He asked me about you again. I think he's potential marriage material if you're interested," I state innocently.

It's not a lie. I did see Harris and he did ask about Grace. He also asked about Lisbon but I'm not telling her that. Besides, I effectively shut him down on having any salacious ideas about either woman. He's an obnoxious worm who tries to bat way above his average and I told him that, among other things.

I look at the younger couple but can't quite decide who looks most aghast at my comment. I take a sip of my wine to hide my smile. Just because I saved them from being found out, doesn't mean I can't play with them a little.

Rigsby shoots Van Pelt a faintly accusing glare.

"Harris, eh?" he comments trying, and failing, for nonchalance.

Van Pelt shakes her head and opens her mouth to defend herself, I'm guessing, but the waiter returns with their glasses and another bottle of wine. Once he leaves, Lisbon starts to talk about work and we pretty much stay on that topic throughout the rest of the dinner. It's a safe subject and I don't try to derail it.

After finishing our meal with a very decadent dessert, Lisbon excuses herself to go to the bathroom and Van Pelt goes with her while I ask for the check.

"Thanks, Jane," says Rigsby with quiet gratitude once we're alone. "It was a close call tonight. I owe you one."

I like that he doesn't try to make some ridiculous excuse for his being out with Van Pelt this evening.

"Forget it. If you want to be with Grace then you should be. Life's too short," I reply with a shrug. "What's that old saying? Listen to your heart, there's nothing else you can do."

Rigsby stares at me like I'm mad for a moment then shakes his head.

"Dude, that's from a song," he says bluntly.

Huh. I thought I knew it from somewhere. Oh, well, potato, potahto.

"Meh, it's the sentiment that counts," I dismiss with a wave of my hand.

Rigsby chuckles and the waiter returns with the check. I pay for dinner, leave a healthy tip then we get up and go to wait for our women. They join us moments later and we all leave the restaurant together. Everything considered, it's actually been an enjoyable evening, albeit not the one I initially had planned.

Once outside we bid each other good night then go our separate ways. I automatically place my hand on Lisbon's back as I guide her towards my car. We get in and I drive her back to her apartment. She's quiet for most of the journey, but it's a comfortable silence and not an awkward one as I had been fearing.

We reach her apartment block and I escort her to her door. She digs around in her purse and pulls out her key then turns to me with a slight frown.

"Rigsby and Van Pelt are back together again, aren't they?" she queries wryly. I must look as though I'm about to lie because she adds quickly, "And don't bother trying to deny it, Jane, I'm not stupid."

She's not and I won't. Instead, I give her a brief nod of assent and look down. I don't want to see them split up again and I think if it came to it, one of them would definitely leave the team to ensure that wouldn't happen this time. Either option doesn't appeal to me as I've come to view them almost as family now.

"What are you going to do?" I ask soberly, raising my gaze to hers.

"Me? Nothing," she replies to my surprise. "As far as I'm concerned I just had dinner with my team because we closed a case."

That's my girl.

"Why, Lisbon, I do believe I'm rubbing off on you," I say with a grin of delight.

"You don't have to say it as if it were a good thing," she grumbles good-naturedly.

I laugh then, impulsively, I lean forward and give her a kiss on the cheek. When I draw back, she looks disconcerted and a little embarrassed at my unexpected display of affection.

"Don't look so worried, Lisbon, that's how all dates are supposed to end," I tell her lightly.

I reach out and take her key from her hand, making sure I let my fingers linger on hers just a bit longer than necessary. Her answering smile fades and a different kind of tension begins to crackle in the air surrounding us. I lean forward and open her door then give her back her key and step aside so that she can go in.

Instead of entering, she suddenly looks at me with something close to determination in her eyes, as though she'd just reached some important decision, and I brace myself for whatever she says next. To say I'm surprised in an understatement when she doesn't speak, but moves closer to me and places her hand on my shoulder instead. Before I have time to realise her intention, she reaches up and presses a soft, sweet kiss to my mouth. My eyes close as our lips move languidly against each other and I savour every second of the all too brief meeting.

"No, Jane, that's how a date is supposed to end," she refutes softly as she breaks away long before I'm ready for her to stop.

I draw in a shaky breath and open my eyes to see that she's moved to her doorway, ready to go in. There's a look on her face that's a mixture of triumph and trepidation and I realise she's not quite sure how I'll react.

"I'll make sure I remember that next time," I promise with a sudden grin as I try to slow down my thundering heart. Really, the woman should come with a warning. She all but kills me every time I sample those delectable lips of hers. I'm certain she'll finish me off for good if we ever do anything more.

She gives me one of those precious smiles of hers that does nothing to slow my pulse and everything to make me want her more then goes into her apartment. Holding the door, she turns to look at me.

"Goodnight, Patrick, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Teresa," I reply and watch her close the door.

Once I hear the lock click into place, I go back to my car with a huge smile on my face and a heart that's feeling lighter than it has in years. Although the evening wasn't what I expected, it's ended up being even better than I hoped. I'm not saying we're a couple or that she loves me…yet. I know I still have to take it slowly, even though she did make more of a move than I did tonight…

The realisation pulls me up short.

Huh.

I get into my car and pause as an odd thought suddenly pops into my head.

After that kiss and the way she acted…I'm beginning to wonder just who is wooing whom.

END CHAPTER 5