#I’m jealous of folks who went to other places and actually has access to that stuff bc lord I hated not knowing anything

[iwatcheditbegin]

I’m still so salty I didn’t have access to my phone for like the midnights announcement up until opening night of tour. I still feel like I missed so much of joy surrounding a new album and tour. Also I would’ve loved to try and meet up with some of my longtime tumblrina besties bc y’all look so cute meeting for the first time

[bittybattybunny]

What about a curse that keeps Eclipse locked into her wolf form for about a week?

This actually happened to her in her youth! So let’s go to the past and get a look at Craft and Eclipse’s relationship and meet her older sister Bertie as well!

(y’all finally get to see my human form for Conductor’s Daughter/Mother of the Pecklings!)

(also yes those bite marks on Bertie came from a baby Eclipse. Bertie has known Eclipse her whole life since Fenrir and DJ Knew Connie since Eclipse was like 2 years old. Bertie met her soon after DJ and Connie started dating and she held the werewolf pup wrong and got bit a few times. she doesn’t hold it against her tho cuz she was just a baby)

“Well. When you said something happened to keep you from getting your homework, this isn’t what I expected.” Craft stared at the wolf as she covered her face with her paws.

“I-I grabbed something I shouldn’t have,” she whined as they set the notes down. She huffed and rolled onto her back, “Pappy says I should be able to shift back to human in a week.” she sighed, “this is pecking shitty.”

“I don’t know, you could bite a guy’s head off!” Craft laughed and moved to rub her belly. Her tail thumped, “I’ll photocopy the notes. Did DJ tell the school?”

“As far as they know my illness has flared back up.” she huffed, sniffing, “you smell weird.”

“I’m trying cologne.” they frowned, “I’m not sure if I’m feeling it or not. I just know I don’t feel… right. But…” they sighed, “oh but my binder is almost here! I’m excited to try that!”

“That’s great!” Eclipse rolled over and stuck her tongue out as she panted some, “I hope that helps you!!! I can only imagine how it feels not feeling… right. In your own body.” she looked at her paws, “I know it’s not the same but… beast… human… I don’t know where I fall.” she sighed and placed her head down. She laughed as Craft began to pet her head.

“Eclipse is Eclipse.” they smiled and hugged the giant wolf’s head, “you’re my best friend.”

“Craft is Craft; You’re my best friend.” She lifted her head to rub against the black-haired teen.

“Oh, I’m thinking to dye my hair, do you think your sister can help?” Craft asked as they sat beside her, “I want to go lighter but I’m afraid because of how dark my hair is.”

“Bert may be able to. Let’s ask.” Eclipse stood up and shook her fur, sending some flying, “ugh I’m shedding.”

“Do you have a big brush?” Craft snickered.

“I do at the doctor’s. He brushes me out some nights because I guess werewolf fur is used in some medications. Weirdly.” she shuddered as she stood on her legs to reach the second story window, “Beeerrrtttiiieeeeeeeee!” She tapped her claws on the siding, “Berrrtttiiiieeeeeee question.” she barked.

“What?” The young woman threw the window open, her spikey blonde hair pulled back in a rather fluffy ponytail, “Wha’s the issue ‘clipse?” she asked as she let her younger sister give her a wolf kiss. She laughed, “Quit that.” she reached to stroke the wolf’s muzzle, “I ain’t gonna giv ya an extra steak cuz ya cute. Pa would have me head.”

“Noooo not that.” Eclipse laughed as her tail swished, “Can you help Craft with her… his? Craft what pronoun are you using today?” she peeked down.

“I’m trying “his” today. It’s better than she.” He laughed, “I have no idea if it’s right for me but, what was it DJ said, ain’t gonna know if I don’t try?” he shrugged, “I wanna dye my hair like. Pink. Can you help?”

“Hrm. I think I ‘ave some bleach I can use.” Bertie chuckled as Eclipse barked happily. “Lemme check, you can head inside if ya want. Or we can use the shop since miss meat fer brains canne fit in the house right now.” Bertie sneered.

Eclipse flattened her ears with a huff, “it’s not like I asked to be a giant wolf.” she huffed and pushed back from the house to stand on the ground. She hung her head sadly.

“Let’s use the school so Eclipse can be included!” Craft grinned widely as he put his hands behind his head, “I bet this is a change of pace!”

“Ye! Normally Aye’m dying her hair dark! Now that’s a thought…” Bertie put a hand to her chin, “Wounder if we could dye yer fur.”

Eclipse blinked, “we can try?” she offered, “we have a week of me like this.” she snickered, “I can be a Lisa Frank wolf!”

“Now that’d be a sight!” Craft cackled as he headed around, trailing alongside the wolf.

“I think I have enough dye. Nen wanted green hair so they brought a bunch ova last week.” Bertie chuckled as she headed inside to gather supplies. Eclipse laid outside the diving school and rolled onto her back with a big stretch. Craft grinned and flopped onto her belly making her gasp and laugh as he began to pet her. She thumped her tail as her sister returned with a small folding table.

Bertie scoffed, “now that’s unfair! He gets belly access?”

“Craft is my bestie, of course he can!” Eclipse laughed as her sister began to scritch her chin.

“I’m your sister I should get access too you big lug.” She cackled loudly as Eclipse huffed.

“If you ask nicely maaaybbbeeee.” the wolf grinned.

“Can I pet the softest fur on tha planet?” Bertie asked with a big grin.

“Yes!” Eclipse giggled as her sister pet her. 

“Some days I’m so jealous of ya.” Bertie sighed, “But not this week.”

“I’m not exactly proud of myself.” Eclipse huffed.

“What did you grab anyway?” Craft shifted to sit on the wolf’s stomach as her front paws pulled him down. She was quiet. Craft snickered, “Moony what did you grabbbb.” he teased and leaned on his arms.

“It was a little wolf statue.” She admitted with a whine, “Mister Marcus says that it would have turned a normal human into a werewolf. But since I’m already a werewolf….”

“You got stuck. That’s hilariously you.”

She whined as her sister laughed and shifted to finish setting up.

“Are you parents going to be okay with me dying your hair, Craft?” Bertie asked with a scowl, “I know they can be…”

“I’m staying with my aunt now.” Craft scratched his cheek, “my parents aren’t super happy with me right now, so she offered to let me stay there until I’m a little older.” he gave a heavy sigh.

He laughed when Eclipse licked his face.

“If ya need, Pa and DJ are sure ta let ya chill here as much as ya need.” Bertie hummed as she prepared the bleach, “You can keep meat fer brains on a leash.”

“Nooooo.” Eclipse whined. She shifted as Craft climbed down and used his shirt to wipe the wolf drool off his face.

“Go wash yer hair in the sink, I put some of pa’s shampoo there.” Bertie instructed, “Also if ya need help with any stuff, ya know you can talk to me an Nena. They can introduce ya to a good doctor, friendly towards trans folk.”

“Thanks Bert.” Craft rubbed his cheek, “Maybe. Right now I’m gonna just. Try and figure myself out.” he huffed, “I don’t know if I’m even right. I just. Ugh.” he sighed and ruffled his hair, “it’s hard.”

She pat his head with a sigh, “Yea, but ya got ya network here. And if anything I’m sure meat fer brains can help you. Ya can’t be any weirder than her ya know?”

“I take offense to that but you’re right.” Eclipse barked.

Craft snickered as he went to wash his hair, “thanks guys. Really.”

“Crrafftttt!” Eclipse called as he stepped in the door. He turned confused.

“Love you!” she stuck her tongue out with a big grin.

“Love you too meat for brains!” he laughed as she gasped.

“Don’t you call me that too!” she whined and covered her face ashamed. He laughed loudly.

Bertie snickered, “Well. Maybe you’ll learn your lesson about running head first into things.” 

“Maaaybbeee. I dunno.” Eclipse barked and rolled to her back. She frowned, “Bertie will you do my hair for the festival?”

“Of course! You going to keep it long? Who’s your partner this year? Keith right?” Her sister chuckled and pulled gloves on.

“Yes! I’m so excited!” Eclipse wagged her tail happily, “I-I may even tell him the truth. About me.” she spoke softly, “He’s so nice and says such sweet things. He called me his dancing fairy the other day.”

“Well. I’m glad it’s workin out for you. Look at my little sister, falling in love. How long have you been together now?”

“About 6 months!” Eclipse rolled to her stomach as her tail wagged, “He smells so good and he’s a great dancer. He’s like a prince charming.” her tail swished, “Bertie… am I---”

“You can be the princess. 100%. Clearly! You two are so happy!” Bertie grinned.

Eclipse beamed happily as her tail thudded the building, “And Craft made me a really pretty dress too!! It’s sparkly and blue and it moves well!”

“That’s the kinda chiffon I used.” Craft spoke proudly as he held the towel around his shoulders, “I think I did a great job myself! It’d be better if you wore your hair silver with it but!”

“I love it!! I can’t wait to show it off!” She beamed happily, “then everyone can see how skilled you are!”

“I’m still an apprentice. But Ms. Green says I’m getting better. She loved my hand sewing on this order last week!” He sat on the ground as Bertie started his hair.

“I’m glad that’s working out. The Greens are a lovely couple.” Bertie hummed. She began to apply the bleach, “tell me if it burrrrrrns or somethin.”

“Will do!” Craft snickered and beamed, “It is working great! I’m learning a lot about the industry and it’s really fun! Plus I get to get some cash to save for my own place!”

“I’m so glad it’s working out!” Eclipse stuck her tongue out, “A dress maker and a treasure hunter.” she grinned.

“What a duo we are~!” He laughed, “Though did you consider it? That thing Mr. Kwalski suggested?”

“The dog training?” Eclipse huffed, shrugging. “I mean I did. But I don’t exactly get along with dogs.”

“That’s the point though!” Craft pointed out, “you can always try, see where it goes.”

“I suppose. But I LIKE treasure hunting.” she huffed.

“It ain’t a good career. Ya need a side gig.” Bertie pointed out, “Ya pa helped with the diving school.”

Eclipse laid her head down with a sigh. She looked at the ocean.

“I know.” she sighed, “L-Look I’m only 16 I’m allowed to have some time to think right?!” she pouted and howled, “For now! I like going hunting with Pappy! It’s fun! It’s exciting! I get to see such cool things!!!”

“I wish i was sturdier; I’d love going on one of your hunts.” Craft winced, “Bertie you’re pulling!”

“Oops. Sorry bout that.” she apologized and loosened her grip, “and ya don’t. They just make stupid jokes and over worry. She spends half her hunts naked.”

“I’m shifting from human to wolf and back again! Who needs clothing I’m going to damage!” she huffed, “if anyone sees me they think I’m a ghost anyway with how the wisps cling!”

“Ya. but still. Modesty. Ya jus a kid.”

“You’re only like. 8 years older.” Eclipse huffed.

“I’m 24, Eclipse. I’m an adult. With a fiance. And a career.” Bertie stated with a flat stare, “Ya a kid.”

Eclipse huffed and crossed her paws as she pouted. She jolted when Craft grabbed her side and her tail began to wag.

“I’ll work on it! Something to change with you!” He grinned, “Someday! I’ll figure something out for you!”

“I’ll hold you to it!” She cackled.

[dailyaudiobible]

06/10/2019 DAB Transcript

1 Kings 7:1-51, Acts 7:30-50, Psalms 128:1-6, Proverbs 16:31-33

Today is the 10th day of June. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian. It is great to be here with you as we get our work week started and take the next step forward together as we continue our journey through the Scriptures this year. And we’re working our way through first kings and the reign of Solomon. We’re working our way through the book of Acts and the birth of the church and we’er reading from the English Standard Version this week. Today first Kings chapter 7.

Commentary:

Alright. So, as we’re moving our way through first kings we've seen Solomon build a palace for himself and he had the implements needed for use in the temple fashioned.

And then in Acts we’re continuing to listen. It seems like a sort of long review. And it's really wonderful that it comes at this time of year. What it actually is is the testimony of a deacon, a newly appointed deacon, one of the first deacons in the church named Stephen. He’d been arrested and kind of defamed. And, so, he’s been kind of hauled before the Jewish high Council and he's giving testimony and what he's doing in the process is giving us review but what he's actually doing is proving to the high Council that he is thoroughly Hebrew and thoroughly understands the Hebrew origin story. So, we listened to him talk about Moses today and that was one of the chief accusations against him, that he was defaming or denigrating Moses and blaspheming God.

And then, so we get to the Psalms today and it's this example of how something profound happens when a blessing is spoken over us. This may happen to you in church every week, right? At the end of the service maybe your pastor speaks a benediction, a word of benediction over you, a word of blessing over you. That was true in biblical, right? It carries through, the tradition carries through all the way today. And we can kinda just blow by that like in church, the benediction, if you have that. And you probably have that in some form or another, right? So, if you're in a more traditional church the benediction spoken of you will probably be the same every week, whereas your pastor, no matter what church you’re in probably has a way of closing the service and it may be a word of encouragement or blessing over you. And, so, we can blow-by that, it’s just like a little marker, just a little trigger. Okay, service is over. But words of affirmation spoken over us, like that actually reorients our hearts if we’re paying attention. So, let's just practice that. Slow down a bit. Because now you know, we've already read to the Scriptures and we’re moving toward the end of our time together. And, so, we can kind of just start moving out of this space. Slow down and just allow these words to be spoken over you for your day. “How joyful are those who fear the Lord. All who follow his ways you will enjoy the fruit of your labor. How joyful and prosperous you will be. Your wife will be like a fruitful grapevine flourishing within your home. Your children will be like vigorous young all of trees as they sit around your table. That is the Lord's blessing for those who fear him. May the Lord continually bless you from Zion. May you see Jerusalem prosper as long as you live. May you live to enjoy your grandchildren. May Israel have peace.” See! Right, doesn't that not orient your heart toward God and encourage you for your day? So, words of benediction or affirmation or declaration spoken over us has been a tradition all the way back into biblical times. All we just did was use the Bible to speak those words of affirmation, words that were spoken over people who were coming up to Jerusalem or leaving Jerusalem. So, it's amazing how the Bible can speak such encouragement and life over us if we’re just paying attention. So, remember this blessing as you move forward into your day.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. We thank You that we’re continuing forward in the story of King Solomon, we’re continuing forward in the testimony of Steven and they all lead somewhere and we’re watching these stories because we find ourselves in these stories. But we thank You for the gift of the Psalm today, Psalm 129, speaking these words of affirmation of blessing over our lives for today. And, so, we receive them. We take them within us and we meditate upon them today. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In Jesus’ name we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, its home base, its where you find out what’s going on around here. So, of course, stay tuned and stay connected in any way that you can and any way that you will.

Of course, we announced the Daily Audio Bible family reunion where the global campfire comes together for 2019 last week, a week ago today. And it looks like we’re going to be getting together because a lot of you are coming and we’re excited about that. It’s gonna be fantastic. This will take place August 31st through the 2nd of September, this is Labor Day weekend here in the United States. So, we get a long weekend to come to Nashville, come around the global campfire, and just hang out together, play together. We’re looking forward to that very much. So, registration is open. Come. Just stay on the grounds and enjoy the beauty, all the activities that exist. You can get all the details at dailyaudiobible.com in the initiatives section. Look for Family Reunion 2019 and all of the details are there.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com as well. There's a link on the homepage. If you’re using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer the mail, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment, 877-942-4253 is the number to dial.

And that is it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi Daily Audio Bible, this is Rebecca from Michigan, June 6th. You know I just need prayer for my temperament because I almost lost my cool at my job today because of some lady is totally jealous because I have gained Seniority there like 5 ½ years and I’m starting to go somewhere and get opportunities. I always take things that people really don’t want, job opportunities that people don’t want, like trips and stuff and she’s like trying to start stuff with me and my management and why I’m getting all these things but I’m used to just taking things that people aren’t really interested in and that is offered to me in order of seniority, in the order that it comes down to me. So, I feel like I’m being really attacked at my job and I almost lost my cool today with this person and I just want God to heal my temper, show me ways to refrain myself because I know the verse that says, “be still and know I am God”. And I’ve been listening to Daily Audio Bible, I think since November 2011 on and off because I remember Ezekiel being born, that’s how far back. I remember. And this is like the first year I’ve finally been keeping up with you guys. I haven’t had no technical problems or electronic problems or things like that. So, I’ve been pretty much keeping up with you guys and I can see my life really growing spiritually and sometimes I just…I’m amazed at how far God has taken me and I just been believing in him for paying off my bills and being debt-free and decluttering my life because that’s what I’m believing in Him for. Thank you. I love you. Bye.

Hi, this is Rob Whitfield from Ontario Canada. This is my first time calling but I’ve been blessed by Daily Audio Bible for over five years now and I want to thank the Hardin family for this Daily Audio Bible, it means so much to us. I want to just say that I’m calling with a heavy heart. Our son Jamie who is now 32 was diagnosed three years ago, the first time with multiple melanoma, which is usually an older folks type of cancer and it was shocking to our family. He successfully went through all his chemo and two blood stem cell transplants along with a whole lot of other medications and doctor’s appointments, but our hearts are heavy because we just found out last week that it has returned. And we know our God is not mended by time and today he has his first oncology review and I’m praying…I’m asking that the Daily Audio Bible prayer warriors lift him up in prayer. We’re finding it very hard, especially since he is beginning to lose his desire to fight this and that is breaking our hearts. We depend on your prayers and we look forward to giving you good news in the future that the Lord has answered that prayer. Thanks again. Have a good day. Bye-bye.

Hello, DAB my name is Joanna a first-time calling phoning from France. I’ve been listening to your podcast for a few months now, English and in French and find it hugely helpful enriching and soothing, especially where my access to church has been limited for years being housebound by illness. Anyway, last Monday’s episode, June 4, 2019 had a voice message from Jordan of Georgia at about 14 minutes in. I just spent the weekend in some considerable distress about two specific things and what she said on the surface sounded like nonspecific, general, good advice. Those two sentences spoke directly to what had been troubling me. So, I want to thank Jordan for her wisdom and discernment as she listened to God’s prompting. And thank you Lord for caring so much about your family in every corner of the earth. How incredible how the creator of all things using us to encourage one another. A tech savvy God, hey? Jordan mentioned something from her health. Father, envelope her in a warm blanket of peace and rest. Strengthen her in endurance and resilience stemming from you and your living Word. Amen. __may God bless you all love Joanna and France.

Hello, my name’s Ben, a first-time caller from London and I just wanna ask for prayer for a large group of children here in the UK who are currently going through senior school examinations. We call them GCSE’s and A levels. But it’s a tough time for our children and my daughter is one of them. They’ve not been going too well for her and we’ve had a lot of tears and a lot of stress but what’s really lifted my heart is that every night and after every exam she has prayed, she has sat down with friends from church and with us, her family, and prayed to the Lord. She’s returned even though those exams have not gone well. She’s always come back to Him. And after all, that’s the real exam that we all have to pass isn’t it? The exams that we do at school they’re very important and yes, they will affect our lives but ultimately the true test that we have to pass, the only one that we have to pass, is that whatever happens we have to return to the Lord and trust in Him. And that’s really lifted me, that’s really helped me. I’d just like to thank you DAB for being a really big part of my life over the past few years. As I said, first time caller. Thank you DAB, thank you DAB family. God, bless.

[mrsslrss]

2017

I rang in 2017 drunk and crying. I left a New Year’s Eve Party where all my friends and I drank down the clock and M and I went home, and I had been obsessed with “Love More” for a few weeks so as soon as we got back to the house I put it on over the stereo. Anyway about ten seconds in I started sobbing and I couldn’t, for the life of me, explain why. (I wasn’t even sad! It’s just such a beautiful song!) M just put his arm around me and kind of half-laughed and told me it was going to be okay in a quizzical but very convincing way and eventually I stopped crying and the song played itself out. I think that about sums it up.

Anyway I think we can all agree that 2017 was a weird year in a grand sense, which I don’t feel compelled or equipped to speak to. But it was weird in a personal sense, too. The year started in that mass of feelings for me; I dyed my hair pink; I lost someone I cared about deeply, which hurt in a place I didn’t expect or understand. The other side of that month was the Women’s March: housing twenty friends from Boston and Brooklyn and elsewhere in a spirit of earnest and viable and real solidarity that nearly broke my heart.

In the spring I worked a lot, and eventually got to travel across the country and fall in love with a couple different cities: New York (Life After Youth, celebrating my 25th); Seattle (Bois Naufrage, fancy coffee, riding the bus); Austin (freeways, rental car, KUTX, wildflowers). In the summer, Keeper put out a tape – bittersweet timing, just before Sam moved back to Texas – and I got a few days on the Cape with the crew. I worked weekends and drank green juice and read novels. In the fall I got really into that Fever Ray song and memorized the opening passage of The Argonauts and finally made it to DIA: Beacon.

Overall, I think, it’s been a head-above-water kind of year for me, where I mainly got caught in a cycle of exist-process-react-exist without creating much. I spent a lot of time thinking about my feelings but still can’t exactly mark the growth. Sometimes stillness is a sign of change, though; maybe I’ll count that one as a win. So here’s a list of 10 things (big and small!) that I saw, heard, watched, made, felt and loved in 2017, that helped me get through the year.

The Heart Season: “No”

Before this year became the kind of dumpster fire in which you hear everyday about new ways that powerful, prominent men treat the women around them terribly, The Heart was talking about consent in a genuinely nuanced, genuinely feminist way. The “No” season was four episodes long, during which host Kaitlin Prest stared down specific instances in her own life where consent’s gray area reared its fucked-up face, and explored where the experiences left her – how they influenced her sense of self, how they shaped and informed her future sexual (and non-sexual!) encounters. And then she broadened the scope, ignoring the easier narratives – “yes means yes,” “no means no,” “consent is sexy!!!!”, rhetorical devices so exhausted and exhausting – and instead asked harder, realer questions about the intersections of desire, fear, gender, pleasure, and autonomy. It gave me language I didn’t know I needed and set a model for a kind of audio storytelling I didn’t know was possible. I wish they played this at every college orientation across the country.

Turning The Tables

What if we appreciated women’s art apart from maleness entirely? What would it look like to tell the story of popular music through only women’s greatness? That was, crudely put, the mission of the list of the 150 Greatest Albums Made By Women that NPR Music published this year. Being part of this project was huge: it meant absorbing massive amounts of history, rethinking canon, getting to be an editor(!), working with some of my biggest professional idols. Mostly, though, it meant devoting much of my working life to the intersection of radical feminism and rock and roll. What a dream.

Drag

I was drawn to art that felt genuinely subversive this year, but it mainly played out in moments of surprise: disappointment from expectations I didn’t realize I held being left unmet; utter radiant joy when this need I didn’t know I had was fulfilled. Maybe the most memorable time it happened was in June, at GAY/BASH, a monthly experimental drag show in D.C. It was the first time I saw drag IRL, which would maybe have felt subversive no matter what – but probably few things would have matched watching a drag queen in a red white & blue housewife dress penetrate the eyeholes of a Trump mask with a strap-on. Incredible! Tell me you can watch that and feel unmoved. My friends and I went back to GAY/BASH every month after that. The music was always perfect: The Knife and Paramore and No Doubt and Cher, etc. But mostly what felt so powerful was the company: being in explicitly gay spaces full of gay and queer people, where abject expressions of sexuality and of gender trouble felt neither like threats nor invitations to violence.

There was also, of course, Sasha Velour, the cerebral art-queen who was crowned this year’s winner of Rupaul’s Drag Race. I saw her on tour with other season 9 queens this summer; her lip-sync of “Praying” by Kesha was perhaps, no lie, the most moving musical performance I saw in 2017. She embodied and embraced the reality so many of us face as women and queer people: victims and victors, agents and acted-on, mired in both hope and fear on a near-constant basis. It was transcendent. 

Ramen

On a less serious note, D.C. is, like many cities, in the midst of a ramen craze right now, and if I’m honest I spent an inordinate amount of the year benefiting from it! And from the fact that a few places will even deliver ramen right to your house if you have the right app! (Also, there’s a lot to be said about cultural appropriation, the devaluing of non-Western food traditions, etc. in these contexts; I am trying to keep learning and will leave the explanations to folks smarter than I.)

Tank And The Bangas

I called this band the “best band in America” all year and I meant it. Their Tiny Desk concert was both an exhale (after the stress of running the Contest itself) and an inhale (before an unrelenting and enthralling month of tour with them). I saw Tank and the Bangas perform eight times in 2017; their positivity never got stale, their exuberance never felt forced, their passion never wavered. They sound like no one else I know. Goddamn, I love this band. The best band in America!

Therapy

I went back to therapy this year after not really going since childhood but thinking about finding someone to talk to and being jealous of friends’ casual off-hand remarks about their therapists for years. I went mostly because of this thing that happened last December involving some brutal unkindness from a loved one that was so vicious yet unexpected it left me feeling startled and knocked off course, like having been shoved from a great height and, after shaking off the dust, finding myself very alone. I thought it was a minor disturbance but it actually burrowed pretty deep into me and I wound up freaked out about a bunch of stuff, so long story short: I finally found someone to talk to.

I will save my breath about how mental health care should be accessible and de-stigmatized. I will say that therapy made my year better in a lot of ways; mostly, in that I had a dedicated time and place to work, patiently, on some things that felt really paralyzing. (It also taught me some useful concepts, like the idea of psychological safety and the Buddhist teaching of the “second arrow,” which I then snuck into some of my favorite writing I did this year. Win-win.) Nothing is fixed, obviously; therapy has felt mostly like a drawn-out emotional root canal all year, which is to say, I still nurse the same ache that sent me. But I’m grateful and I am learning and it’s starting to feel less self-indulgent to want to address my bullshit. I recommend therapy to everyone! If you’re interested in talking to someone, here are some affordable resources.

Iced Americanos 

There are precious few things that get M out of bed early: the promise of imminent skiing; a genuine emergency; and coffee. I’ve relied heavily on the third one this year to squeeze in a half-hour of quality time with him before I go to the office. Listen I know this is cheesy as h*ck but it truly improves the overall quality of my day! Anyway the iced coffee at our corner coffee shop is not for me but the baristas take great care with their espresso shots so I started getting iced americanos instead and now I have been converted to an iced americano grrrl, even in winter (true to my New England roots). And a morning-coffee-with-your-boyfriend grrrl. Gross! I can’t help it.

Creative collaboration

Madeline Zappala is both a dear friend of mine and a total badass artistic inspiration to me. I was so glad she asked me to help edit her magazine, Reflections on the Burden of Men – and that she (and her co-creator, Laura) accepted a short piece I wrote about being disgusted by sexuality, or maybe more so by the insistence that women perform it for patriarchy, feeling isolated from my body, wanting to not want what I want. Editing the writing in the magazine was a dream! And watching it come together was so instructive. Go get a copy! (Or just pick up some unsolicited dick pic stickers, a real thing they made.)

2017 was a pretty exciting year for Keeper, too. Between January and August – when Sam moved back to Texas and Keeper became a project with a less coherent identity – we played amazing shows and put out a tape and met a lot of really lovely people. I learned a lot.

Female solidarity

I never got the appeal of using the phrase “work wife” to describe a lady BFF in your office before this year (too close to “girl crush,” which, I maintain, is basically homophobic; plus, who wants to replicate the capitalist heteropatriarchy of the marriage-industrial complex in your office friendships, of all places?!) but now I have two and I totally get it. There’s really something special about working alongside women like me, and having them be people who are willing to take a lunch break or walk to Starbucks (lol) so we can encourage each other through weird career stuff, or vent about male incompetence, or gush about new music, or interrogate what it means to care about feminism or justice or epistemology or whatever in 2017, which is mostly what we did. Some of the most enriching and important conversations I had this year were these; we often joked about the positions of authority we’d have, the raises we’d get, the articles we’d be assigned if only the People In Charge heard the conversations we had around cafeteria lunch tables!

Of course, there was also the mere fact of having lived with three other women throughout this year, creating a home that was a constant space for frank discussions about shared oppression; there were days of 8+ hours of GChat sessions that formed a virtual safe space; there were the year’s albums that spoke to the bizarre, incredible realities of womanhood. And all of this happening in the context of women coming forward about sexual assault, women journalists reporting on it, all of us whispering #MeToo on the internet. It was a year that, for me, fostered a consistent and palpable sense of solidarity among us. I needed it.

The “Thief” music video:  

Lastly: this is, maybe, the most wonderfully terrible music video I have ever seen. I first heard about this on the now-defunct podcast This Week Had Me Like, which I sorely miss, and now it’s rare that my housemates and I go more than a month without watching it communally. It’s histrionic in the best way, nonsensical, totally delightful. Thank you, Ansel Elgort.

[demondetoxmanual]

This is what it looks like when the #spnfamily is dead set on fulfilling your one and only dream.

On Sept. 21st 2016 I was once again hit with sadness. I cried again and needed to vent. I wrote a post about my feelings and how upset I was that I would never be able to attend a convention with J2 attending. [see post]

A couple hours later my tumblr messenger alerted me of a new message. A message that changed my life.

@ladyroche: “Melanie, I want to help you. Every fan should have the experience and you have many supporters already...” Our conversation(s) went on for hours and, over and over again I explained to her that, if I can’t afford it myself, I have no business going to a convention. Thousands of other fans can’t go because they can’t afford it either, so why should I be given that chance? Why should anyone, but myself, worry about bringing happiness into my life and making sure my dream can come true? Those were just a few of the questions I sent Juli. But no matter how often I said I don’t deserve this and I have zero rights to be granted this one wish, Juli told me... “we [@ladyroche, @lipglosskaz, @electricmonk333] think that, if anyone deserves this, then it’s you. You deserve this and we will get you and your daughter to HousCon.”

I wasn’t convinced... neither of me being deserving of this, nor that anyone would actually be generous enough to support this massive quest. And yet, these three girls proved me wrong. After the first negative reply to Juli’s post, I suggested to call it quits and take the post down. Her answer was short and demanding: “Hells no, we are not taking the post down ever! We are taking you to Houston and placing you in the arms of J2 <3.”

I stayed pessimistic and made sure every donated cent would remain in my PayPal account so I could return it - in case the hate would become too much for me to handle.

Once it all started, Juli kept saying: “It’s happening, baby!” [gleefully quoting Danneel Ackles] - the second my daughter and I were on our way to the airport the quote rang in my ears and I found myself crying tears of utter joy, excitement and anxiety.

By now, most of you have seen the panels on YouTube and gif’ed the hell out of every scene that took place. So, there is not much left to say about that part.

What I do have to say is, that I have never felt so loved as I did during the con-weekend. I was given the opportunity to meet all these amazingly kind and lovely people I’ve only ever seen/talked to on tumblr. Of course, the first person I saw was Kaz ( @lipglosskaz ) - her beautiful smile woke me from a needed nap after arriving at the hotel. After I hugged her silly and spotted Sim ( @electricmonk333 ) at the front desk and patiently waited for her to finish her conversation with the lady there until I could finally throw my arms around her, hugged her long and proper, kissed her head (she’s tiny!) and felt the need to never let go. I’d like to mention again (since some people already did), that the wonderful and very talented Sim won the video contest at HousCon. When they announced the winner, and her name was heard through the speakers I couldn’t believe my ears. I mean, we all crossed our fingers and hoped she would win... but when she actually did I cried so hard I couldn’t calm down for a very long time. Sim walked up the stage to answer a couple of questions about the video and in her speech she mentioned things that just made so happy. I’m very proud of her and happy for her and I... yeah... she was the one who had to calm me down because I was just so damn happy for her winning the contest. I have no idea how, but I managed to record the whole thing - I need to upload it. Or send it to her. It was beautiful. Just like her face. xD

These two cuties, Maja and I got to share a room... best time ever! Because that way I was able to hug them whenever I felt like it. I bet Sim was annoyed with me though. I constantly worried about her... don’t hate me, please. I just love you, Ms. Frosty. Letting Sim go, on Sunday evening, however, was a sad moment. Simply because I’m not sure if it was the last time I’d ever get to see her. Saying goodbye to Kaz was just as sad... even though we didn’t mean to wake her (we had to leave Monday 5am), Maja and I couldn’t help ourselves to give her one last hug and smooches. Let me tell you all a secret: that woman is just as beautiful in the morning w/o make-up as she is all prettied up. Not fair. :P

I love you two with all my heart and I hope that we will meet again. I miss you!

Then Michael (@itsokaysammy) happened and the weekend turned into an emotional hug-fest. I’ve hugged him so many times I lost count. But that’s just what happens with cuties like him. You see ‘em, you hug ‘em, you get addicted. Whenever we saw each other I all but attack-hugged him, there was no escaping each other. I always loved him, but now, where I had the chance to actually see him face to face and talk to him, witness his honest smiles and bubbling with nerves of excitement... I just love him so much. ^-^ *kisses* (I’ll never forget how surprised Sim was when she realized how tall Michael is... xD So cute.) I miss you!

Another victim of my many hugs was the most adorable Kylie ( @sammyhale ). We never really talked on tumblr before. But, once we got to talk for the first time I fell in love with her. She’s so kind and loving and gives amazing hugs. I am beyond happy to have met her and got to spend time with her. She is a perfect mix of cool and shy and sweet. If you don’t love her, well.. you’re just wrong. xD I miss you!

There is one special person, without her I would have not even made it to the airport. This, of course, is not the reason why I love her so much. I love her because she has a heart of gold. She is smart, cute and cares so much it should be illegal. You know what all you’ve done to get Maja and me to HousCon - without you, especially without you, my dream would still be a dream. For that, I’m grateful. But I love you for being a wonderful friend. Thank you, Ally. ( @greatwallofsam ) No, I’m not crying right now. You’re crying. You’re perfect and precious and I miss you!

After one of the panels, Kaz introduced me to Destini ( @crabackles ). That was, by far, the most precious moment of all the introductions I’ve been through during HousCon. She looked familiar, but I couldn’t place a name to her adorable face - so I kept quiet. I treated careful with everyone after all. Because, let’s be honest, many folks would’ve rather not seen me at the con or at least knowing I’d not be able to go. She, obviously, was not one of them. I figured that the second Kaz introduced me with my tumblr URL. Immediately, Destini’s face morphed into a shock-surprise-squee-like-cuteness. “Oh my god. That’s you? That’s you! I LOVE YOU!!!! You are so amazing.” At first, I turned around, checking if she was talking to/about someone else. She’s a pure delight and I’m so happy I got to meet her. *kisses* I miss you!

The last person I got to meet, on Sunday, was the absolutely funny Sarah ( @jensenscomedyelbows ). She all but tackled me into a crushing hug and we fell on the bed in our room. “We made sweet love”, was her explanation of how we finally met! No bodily fluids have been exchanged. I promise. Though, it was a close call. The two of us got along perfectly and I had many interesting and joyful conversations with her. She might have fallen in love with me. The feeling is definitely mututal. I miss you!

Now, let’s get to the part where my dream became reality. ;)

With thanks to all the amazing people I got to spend the weekend with, I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I would be when the time came to see J2 in person for the first time. While the fundraiser for Maja and me was still running, and we weren’t sure if we could reach the goal, I was set on getting a Sunday ticket only, just so all the expenses could be covered. But someone (don’t worry Ainhoa & Juli, I won’t tell anyone it’s you) made damn sure that Maja and I would get the full weekend experience in form of copper tickets. However, do to a mistake by Creation regarding Sim’s seat, her whole group (which included us) was upgraded to Gold tickets (w/o autographs) before the whole shebang even started. I was crying in happiness for Sim, when they told her she would be upgraded. Though, once the lady said Sim’s group would be upgraded I couldn’t control my emotions any longer. I was shaking and crying and close to passing out. Never in a million years would I have expected this. Not ever. Not me. But it did and with this ‘luck’ we were able to access the famous Gold Panel. My heart was racing and my belly flip flopped so hard I wasn’t sure if I’d die, faint or get sick... or all of the above. Then, when Jared & Jensen were announced my knees felt weak, my hands were shaking and I mentally prepared myself for a face-dive to the floor. That didn’t happen though. Quite the opposite. The second these two dorks entered the stage, a wave of calmness washed over me, followed by an everlasting rush of happiness, with a sidedish of “OH MY GOD... IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING?! AM I HERE? IS THIS STILL ONE OF MY DREAMS?!” It wasn’t a dream, it was as real as it could possibly be. Once this realization kicked in, my hand shot up and I was ready to ask a question. Which wouldn’t have been a question. I wanted to give a shout-out to the people who made it happen, who made it possible for Maja and me to be there. Unfortunately, I wasn’t picked.

However, at the J2-photo-op I had the opportunity to talk to Jared for a short moment. I hereby apologize to the people in line, I really couldn’t help myself. I told him that the #spnfamily donated, so my daughter and I could fly in from Germany. As soon as the words were out of my mouth he pulled Maja into a giant hug and squished her long and proper and said “Dankeschön for being here.” I might have been a tiny bit jealous. Not out of jealousy, but because I know my kid, I revealed to him that Maja really doesn’t like being hugged. He said he was sorry and hugged her again. xD She let it happen and smiled at him. It was too cute. Another thing Maja doesn’t like, at all, is having her picture taken. That’s why it was a huge surprise to me when she decided to be in the photo op after all. Two minutes before it was our turn. ;) If she doesn’t initiate it, she will be grumpy and pull a face during every picture. Which was, why she decided to purposely pull a grumpy/annoyed face in the pictures. For the time of my short conversation and the Jared-Maja-hugs, Jensen was mostly blocked by Jared’s large frame. Like, seriously. The guy is so tall. And pretty. I had to force myself to take my eyes off of him and greet Jensen. He, too, was too pretty for his own good and all smiles and kind and thenI explained to them what Maja wanted to do for the photo. They seemed excited and comfortable with it. Thank god. Only when we got to pick up the photo did I see that Jared pointed at the grumpy German kid. ;)) And... why the right side of my neck was tingling and felt so warm. *blush*

In our Jared-Op, Maja wanted to be annoyed again. But before I had a chance to tell Jared, Maja walked up to him and handed him a gift. Gummy Bears, duh, of course. Again, he thanked her in German and I was a little surprised at that, because our J2 op was a few hours prior. For a short moment I had forgotten how smart Jared is and that, apparently, he has the memory of an elephant. “Of course I remember. You were here earlier. Dankeschön again.” Jared said. Well, that definitely made my day. If it was possible to love him any more, then this would have been the moment for it.

I will remember and cherish these moments forever. They were both so kind and sweet to my daughter it was magical.

Saying goodbye to all the wonderful people I met, all the great friends I made, was heartbreaking and I’m still crying because I’m not sure I’ll ever see any of them again. But amazing memories have been made and I will carry them in my heart forever.

When I first began looking for flights, checking air fares for every German airport and making sure I’d get the best deal I also compared regular roundtrip flights to jaw flights. To my surprise, the jaw flights came up with the same price as the regular round-trips. Which was, why we didn’t have to return to Germany on January 30th. Instead, we took a plane to NY - for a 6 days layover.

Why NY? Why 6 days? Because there is a person in NY who I love more than anything and with everything I’ve got. My wifey. Some of you might know her. The fic-reading yous know her... or, you have seen the posts I’ve mentioned her in. I’ve known her for about 4 years. We read each other’s stories without knowing who the person behind the many words was. At some point she was looking for a beta and I offered to help. And so our friendship began. I have never trusted anyone with my writing, other than her. We beta for each other, we brain storm together. But other than our mutual love for writing we simply get each other. A wonderful and deep friendship has been built over the years and, even though some days are so busy that we don’t get to talk, our thoughts are always with the other one. We never met before, and yet, it always felt like we have known each other for decades. We share personal things that neither of us would mention to anyone else. Early on I told her about the possibility of a jaw flight and the second I had messaged her about it she started making plans. Spoil us rotten, was one of them. And boy, did she spoil us. Maja and I had the greatest of times with her and her hubby... and their cute cats. They took us out for lunch, dinner, to the arcade, Statue of Liberty, Times Square, meet family members and the highlight of it all: she invited us to Disney’s Aladdin on Broadway. I have never seen anything like it and Maja’s jaw dropped left and right. The musical was absolutely amazing and getting to experience this wonderful show side by side with my favorite person on planet earth... well, let’s just say I’m slowly dehydrating because I’ve been crying so many happy tears within the past two weeks.

My beautiful wifey is an avid reader and one of the most talented writers (she writes more than those fanties we share in the fandom) I know. For weeks my daughter and I tried to come up with a gift to bring her. I know she would have liked something to remember us by, something to keep forever, something from our hometown. Unfortunately, our hometown is kind of sucky and we didn’t find anything worth bringing. I had to think it over and then, at HousCon, Megan Padalecki happened. Megan, as well as her parents were at HousCon promoting/selling her latest book. And I knew right away: What better gift to give a reader/writer than a signed book? As I greeted all three of them, Sharon Padalecki noticed that I wasn’t from Texas - or the US for that matter. So, I told her that I’m from Germany and that’s when Gerald’s interest spiked up and I talked to him about their vacations in Germany and the Autobahn... and how we both love the no speed limit. “The next time you’ll go 170 on the Autobahn you’ll remember me”, he said with a bright smile. I did, on our way home. I promised Megan to wear two seatbealts... but, since my car only has one for each seat I couldn’t keep that promise. Don’t tell on me. Fun fact: Three times I almost bumped into Gerald Padalecki at the hotel, because my legs were a little too fast. Not to mention when Sarah and I were in the elevator, it dinged open and he stood outside.. asking which way we’re going. He needed to go down - we up, so the doors closed. I said to Sarah: “So, that was Gerald Padalecki.” She looked at me like I have two heads...she had no idea who didn’t want to ride in the elevator with us until I pointed it out. ;)

Anyway... Megan signed the book for my wifey and my day was made. A few hours later Maja grabbed her pocket money and got herself a book as well... and, it shouldn’t be surprising - the elephant memory runs in their family - Megan remembered me... even remembered my wifey’s name.

None of this would have been possible without the genorosity of: [in order of incoming donations]

Juli, Alain St., Kathleen v.W., Tony K., Sim, Anna B., Kathie M., Nancy R., Kristina B., Yvonne Ch., Brett T., Kaz, Steph C., Catherine R., Andrea B., Charlene F., Samantha M., Mia P., Paula Ch., Ann-Chrstine P., Sally B., Ainhoa, Ally, Emily R., Taresa K., Mirijam M., Katherine H., Dorota W., Sarah J., Kenedy A., Laurie St., Kerry D., Melissa B., Stephanie G., Beatrice B., Bronwyn D., Catherine M., Erica M., Sally B. Jessica G., Sandra K.

Without Juli’s determination and optimismn I would have nothing to write about and nobody to thank for. All of this, is because of her love.

Thank you. Each and every one of you. Thank you for letting me live my dream, for giving me happiness... thank you for the millions of tears I’m still shedding.

Thank you #spnfamily.

I miss and love all of you!

[kartiavelino]

Rachel Lindsay Dishes on Wedding Planning and Her Picks for the Next Bachelorette

The marriage countdown is on for Rachel Lindsay.  The truth star of Bachelor and Bachelorette fame lately confirmed her wedding ceremony to winner Bryan Abasolo is slated for August in the Caribbean. With a time and location set, her street to the aisle is formally in movement, however do not count on cameras on the day they stated “I do.” “It won’t be televised,” she confirmed to E! Information. “I believe folks assume it’s a must to have…’Oh, you are getting huge, they are going to provide you with a televised wedding ceremony,’ which I type of really feel I used to be responsible of that as nicely, and then I spotted, ‘Okay, they do not must.’ However, then I nonetheless wished it simply because I used to be in such a mode like, ‘Oh, nicely we obtained engaged on TV, we will proceed to share this second with individuals who’ve been invested in our relationship,’ and then as time went on and we’re so in our world and not on digital camera in that approach, I am type of like, ‘You realize what? Every little thing we have performed has been so public, I’m really wanting ahead to the privateness of our personal wedding ceremony and doing our wedding ceremony our approach,’ as a result of if we did it on TV, it could be a manufacturing and so, we must take heed to folks say ‘Stand right here, sit right here,�� you realize?” Lindsay continued, “It simply takes the emotion out of it. I am very excited that it isn’t going to be a televised manufacturing.” Whereas the wedding ceremony will not play out on ABC, that does not imply members of Bachelor Nation will not be making appearances—simply not in the bridal celebration.  “I do not even assume I’ll have bridesmaids, and if I do it could be my sisters and Bryan’s sisters,” she stated. “I need to hold the wedding ceremony celebration small. I joke with all the women and inform them that I am not inviting any of them. ‘None of you’re coming! I will invite you to the bachelorette celebration,’ however I simply say that as a result of I am nonetheless making an attempt to work on the wedding ceremony record and slim it down, however there can be women there from Bachelor Nation. I imply I speak to any individual from my woman gang each week…I’ll see them tonight. It is like in fact they are going to be at the wedding ceremony.” With the ceremony happening in the Caribbean versus her earlier picks of Italy, extra folks will have the ability to attend. “It will be in a really fairly location, but in addition simply accessible for household. I would like folks to have a trip,” she defined to E! Information. “I like which you could make it a trip if you wish to. I am actually in love with that concept.” Contemplating the new location and the temperature in August, Lindsay can also be transforming her wedding ceremony gown fashion, to be designed by Randi Rahm, and goes to strive on some for the first time this month in New York together with her mother, future mother-in-law and sisters. “I really feel like I am type of beginning over as a result of it will be so scorching that I want to vary my fashion,” she stated. “What I wished appeared loads like Lauren [Burnham‘s]…her gown was attractive and it actually is loads like what I used to be going for, so now I’ve to vary it.” As for their honeymoon, leisure is the objective. “We would like both the Maldives, as a result of you realize I used to be completely jealous when Becca [Kufrin] went on her season. I used to be like ‘Ugh, that is like a dream location for me,’ or like Bora Bora, Fiji Islands-type honeymoon,” she stated. “We type of need to chill, be by the waters we have by no means seen earlier than. You realize, simply get up to love the fantastic thing about that each morning.” Whereas they’re on the identical web page about their honeymoon, the mounting visitor record (presently at 150 folks) is a unique story. “There have been those that he is wished to place and I am like, ‘Completely not. They don’t seem to be coming. They are going to be a scorching mess at the wedding ceremony and I do not need them there.’ That is in all probability the greatest factor,” she stated of her future husband. “I am positive as we get into extra particulars, there can be different issues, however proper now that is the greatest factor on the desk. It is undoubtedly what we have disagreed about.” Total, nonetheless, Abasolo understands that it is Lindsay’s special occasion. “I really feel like the solely time he asks me questions is when a member of the family asks him questions, as a result of he realizes he would not know,” she quipped.  So as to add much more to their packed schedules, Lindsay additionally confirmed they’re shifting to Miami. “It was exhausting for me at first to make that call, however it makes a lot sense,” the Texas native stated. “We have simply outgrown Dallas, it would not make any sense for us.” For sure, Lindsay, who lately partnered with Vaseline, has had her palms full these previous few years and has seen the results of the stress on her pores and skin. “[The partnership is] good as a result of I grew up utilizing this product and it has traveled into my grownup life simply because I already had stress in a method as an legal professional, however being thrown into this world with all eyes on you and having this platform and navigating by way of two totally different reveals, and then doing the media after it, and now what I do. I journey a lot between doing leisure and sports activities and it is all on digital camera and it is so essential for me to deal with my pores and skin and so naturally I’ve dry pores and skin and being in the air all the time and in numerous cities and states the place the climates change, it is like insane,” she stated. “My pores and skin’s mad at me all the time, and so I exploit Vaseline on my lips, I exploit it on the backside of my ft.” It is exhausting to imagine it is already been almost two years since she obtained engaged on The Bachelorette and quickly one other woman wanting for love can be in her sneakers. If it have been as much as her, she’d choose Danielle Maltby or Kristina Schulman to fill the function. As she defined to E! Information, she’d reasonably see somebody get picked from a previous season than Colton Underwood‘s present one.  “I used to be extra of a fan of them reaching again as a result of they’ve by no means performed it for girls. They’ve by no means gone again to the previous for a Bachelorette. They’ve performed it twice for the males now and I do know there have been some issues with Ari’s season and how he’d been gone for so lengthy, it was slightly troublesome for him to combine himself again into the system, in order that they have been terrified of that,” Lindsay stated. “However, I am not likely a fan of any of those [current] women being the subsequent Bachelorette. I am simply going to be trustworthy.” https://www.eonline.com/news/1020609/rachel-lindsay-dishes-on-wedding-planning-and-her-picks-for-the-next-bachelorette?cmpid=rss-000000-rssfeed-365-lifestyle&utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_lifestyle The post Rachel Lindsay Dishes on Wedding Planning and Her Picks for the Next Bachelorette appeared first on My style by Kartia. http://www.kartiavelino.com/2019/03/rachel-lindsay-dishes-on-wedding-planning-and-her-picks-for-the-next-bachelorette.html

[frozenfoods]

Six Minutes To Success Review

Six Minutes To Success Review

Six Minutes To Success Review

Six Minutes To Success Review

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocQ4FPnoVw0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIQ-agql4BY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wg6JwaMvUtE

My Personal Six Minutes To Success Review vi Minutes To Success is the very 1st Bob Proctor course that I ever purchased in my journey to search out my real purpose in life. The program is therefore simple yet therefore powerful and really changes your mindset throughout the day. It extremely helps you begin to understand what you target you manifest into your life. Not solely that however really opens your eyes to habits and beliefs in our lives that have crept in from one source or another that really limit our potential in life. We wish to call these “limiting paradigms”. They are the true killer to any and all success. Once you learn them, you'll see and perceive how they not solely forestall you, however others from achieving what they desire in life. Let me take things a step further and provide you my personal review below in video kind. Maybe You can Relate To My Story Life wasn’t always peaches and cream, way from. I was thirty four, single, operating in an exceedingly career that I grew up in (construction) however extremely didn't love or have any quite passion for. My gut continually told me that there was more to life and i needed to find it, however I simply kept procrastinating that feeling for regarding 14 years. Continuously knowing there was a lot of to life however just not doing anything because I was snug in what I was doing. It was simple and that i made tight money. I didn’t have the heart to change. I had lost that inner man that I knew I had inside of me, but became week and lazy over the years. It wasn’t till someday I looked within the mirror and noticed my hair was falling out! Literally, and not just my head but I couldn’t grow a beard anymore as a result of I had bald patches my face where hair used to grow! I was shocked and googled what may cause this. The answer I found, “stress and unhappiness”. Seriously, that is what it said. Now I take good care of myself physically and by what I eat therefore I care regarding my health a ton. This was not acceptable. It pushed me out of my comfort zone and gave me the guts to say NO A LOT OF! In that moment I knew what I had to try to to as I had been avoiding it for fourteen years. I immediately started meditating and randomly dumbed across some recent Bob Proctor videos on youtube. I started watching them for hours every day. once a week I Decided to call and sign up for this Six minutes to success program (it was the smallest amount expensive they offered). I watched the videos each morning and started to get pleasure from what Bob and Sandy were making an attempt to induce across to me. Me being the person I am wished a lot of, therefore I known as the corporate and asked regarding alternative programs and soon signed up for private coaching. I soon when sold my business and commenced a utterly new business that I am happy and passionate regarding. Most vital I wake up happy and my hair is growing back!!! No joke. I will have a beard once more and hairs on my head are starting to pop through. Six Minutes To Success Program Currently Has A Nice New Update For 2016: I simply recieved an email from Bob’s team at Proctor Gallagher Institute that is telling me you can’t purchase this immediately. I was a little shocked and confused until I browse a little a lot of. Before you even get the choice to buy it, you have to attempt it for FREE! I even have to mention I was shocked and a little jealous. How does this get better? All it takes is your name and email on the signup type once you click the link below. I would use your best email as a number of your free videos can be sent to the address you enter. This may be a win – win – win here. It is so good after all, that I signed duplicate and the primary video is awesome. You will get a video straight away when you sign on. Then you will be emailed over the subsequent days some additional videos. Once the trial is over, they will provide a place to buy the program. I’m additionally told that they added a brand new purchase level that can have added features that I never originally got after I 1st purchased this eighteen months ago. They just keep stacking the cool and it's to your advantage as it's offered to you right below. This is such a nice provide. I can’t wait to work out you alter your life as I did mine! Be certain to sign up while the provide is accessible. So What Do You Get And How Will It Work? Great question. How it works is you can click one in every of the “get started” links above or below and you'll be asked for you name and email. The email you enter will be where Bob can send you your first three video’s for Free. After the 3 video’s you may be given 2 choices to continue on with the program.     One possibility is $49.95 a month which is the only choice I had after I went through the program.     The second may be a new possibility for $99.95 a month and has some added fetures and bonuses that Bob Talks regarding in his videos. Thus folks who get pleasure from the quick track can go for the second possibility, but I will solely speak regarding the primary as it is what I personally purchased. When you get the program, you will start to recieve a brand new 4-half dozen minute video along with an audio and pdf version (for simply listening or reading) every morning. The idea is to awaken and begin off your day with a brand new video every morning. Some can have new ideas to consider or pay attention to throught the day and others could have a dialy challange. 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[punkwhodrinkstea-blog]

Shaking My Head

Hey folks! I was just camping with my girlfriend, her friend, her infant brother and her mother. It was only for a single night but with the driving and other detours it lasted most of the two days. It was a great time and the contrast between camping with them oppose to camping with my family is very different. My family is very systematic and structured. There’s a procedure that everyone must follow when setting up or taking down the campsite or for meals there is also another procedure… for most things actually. Plus they schedule every hour of the trip and if everyone doesn’t comply to the schedule then they get stressed and pissed off or they get stressed and pissed off trying to maintain the procedures and schedule. It takes all the fun and enjoyment out of the trip. Anyway we had a great time but sadly I had to go home…. Let me tell you a story.

I don’t open up to my family or tell them much about my day at all. So they sat me down on the couch while they were watching some sitcom. They turned down the volume and waited for me to tell them about the camping trip. I sat quietly not saying anything cause I didn’t really want to. So they began grilling me with questions. They asked me how many tents we used. Not seeing an issue I said that we used 1 tent. But then my mother gave me the 3rd degree about how irresponsible and  inappropriate that was and how she just couldn’t believe I would do such a terrible thing... Go ahead and go back to the first line of this post… There are FIVE people in one tent. How could that be inappropriate or irresponsible? Does she really think so lowly of me, my girlfriend and the others that we’d somehow do ‘adult things’… with 2 other people and a baby in the tent? Like what the hell! Not to mention that we’ve never had the slightest temptation to do such things. I’ve never shown or had any signs or symptoms of being sexual. But I swear they will use anything possible to assume the worst in me, my girlfriend and her family (and her friends if needs be). I don’t know what’s wrong with them. Also my mom was extremely concerned that my girlfriend’s dad wasn’t going to be going (we had a creative solution to that but I won’t explain). Long story short my mom hates… hates, the idea of me and my girlfriend’s mom being close. She is clearly jealous. I am assuming that my mother did the simple math of realizing that I almost never put any effort into seeing or talking to her meanwhile I’m willing to do just about anything for my girlfriend’s mom. I’d do anything for my girlfriend and that means being there for her family too and I get along well with her family so I am genuinely good friends with them. Long story short my mother hates this, she is afraid of the possibility of being replaced. But she has nothing to worry about because she was hardly there for me anyway and has already been replaced therefore the possibilities are impossible since it’s already happened. So cold... But so true. My parents are at a sad point where they are only oppressing me and holding me back. For example they won’t let me have access to my own bank account because they think I’ll blow all my money even though I hardly spend my money and have never shown the slightest possibility of doing so. On top of that, I have more than enough for college and to treat myself and my girlfriend on dates. Financially I’m solid. Next I got in trouble for going for a walk at 9pm… I’m 20 years old folks with a cell phone. They are such control freaks, they are so insecure that they must hold tightly onto everything. Because obviously the danger is I’m outside when it’s dark and could be mugged or something. When are they gonna loosen up and realize that I’m not 5 years old. It sucks. Anyway to avoid living the next 5 years in a bubble wrap prison I am preparing my heart, soul and mind for what will likely be a screaming match between my parents and I. I know I can’t win this fight without God so I’ve gotta trust him more than ever. There’s a decent chance that they will try and limit my access to seeing my girlfriend which will result in all out war. I’ll move out if I have to. I can’t run to my girlfriends house but I there are a few other people who might take me in for a while. Worst case scenario I ask my girlfriend and her parents for help but it shouldn’t come to that. Lastly after a heated discussion with my folks which kick started the above thoughts and emotions, I went for a long walk. During my walk I ended up texting with my girlfriend and my mentor (my gf’s mother, it’s not weird I promise). Building up idea’s, strength, courage and making a game plan. I was angry, sad was seeking a place to reflect on things. I was chilling someplace when a man who would seem to be homeless came to me and asked if I was ok. He was checking to make sure I was ok… think about that. I had my laptop of me, a cell phone, earbuds and was wearing what I think was at least decent clothes. But this guy didn’t see the difference all he saw was someone in distress who needed to talk. I just told him that there’s some dumb  trouble at home and that I’ve mostly worked it out already. Next he took a few steps away and pulled out a cheap old crappy point and shoot camera. He told me he loved photography and then proceeded to take a picture of a nearby duck. He seemed perfectly happy mean while I’m at least middle class, probably higher, and I’m depressed out of my mind because I’m living in a prison built by my parents. As you can probably tell I’m tired of this crap and pissed off about it. But let’s move on.

College is starting only next week. I feel ill prepared but at the same time I feel like it’s all going  to be ok. I went to the orientation and saw the place which is massive, it provides everything a person could ever ask for. I mean it has a massive library, lounges, fast food restaurants, an amazing weight room and fitness room. An indoor track which is build above one of the 3 gyms. A Tim Hortons and us Canadian’s are built to run on Timmies. There’s like 3 or 4 separate buildings. The place is massive, like a city for people who want a real job but don’t have one yet. I will likely spend most of my days at the college because I don’t like being home and I will be more productive while working on stuff at school. Plus I can wander over to the gym and use it for free whenever I want, I just gotta keep a change of clothes in my locker. It seems less scary after the orientation and my classmates seem decent. Several of them had gaming apparel or anime and one girl had a twenty one pilots shirt on. I should have a decent chance of making friends. I’m kinda sad though because I know I’ll hardly get to see my girlfriend once school starts for us… yeah it sucks butt. Anyway I’ve got 2 other blog posts on the go right now and I want to start chapter 6 of my book today. Should be fun. Peace out.

[firstumcschenectady]

“Nope, We're Not Doing That” based on  Jeremiah 44:11-19

After she retired, my friend the Rev. Dr. Barbara Thorington Green spent a year away from organized religion so that she could open herself to thinking about the Sacred in new and different ways. Her year off resulted in poetry that became the book “Calling God She? Reflections and insights of a great-grandmother, retired clergywoman, and doctor of theology.” This is one of my favorite poems in it:

Perhaps God is a quilter,

The quilter creates something warm and beautiful

out of bits and pieces of fabric,

using a variety of colors and designs.

The quilter takes things apart and puts them together again

creating something new, unpredictable, unique,

and perhaps never envisioned.

The quilter uses what is at hand

to create a blessing, sometimes planned,

sometimes created in the process.

You can see yourself as a piece of fabric

being used as part of the whole,

or you can envision the various times of life

as the fabrics and yourself as the end product.

Of course more will be added tomorrow

and the next day.

The quilt of our lives is ever changing.

Fabrics we would never chose

often add interest and character.

There can be many shapes and designs

as well as many fabrics in a quilt.

Each quilter has her own style

and way of being and doing.

The marks of the quilter

are everywhere on the quilt.

Hours of labor are required.

The results are always different,

yet in the end there is warmth and comfort.

When God is the quilter,

working internally and externally

Her marks are everywhere

creating beauty, warmth, and comfort.1

For me, Barb's work offers freedom and respite. The ways it offers to conceive of God make space for a broader and fuller picture. I've spent years thinking about Barb's assumption that she couldn't make space for the feminine aspects of God while being connected to the institutional church – because the church's God is too masculine. I've always wanted to be able to argue back at that point, but I've yet to find a truly valid point to use ;)

Institutional religion promoting a masculinized version of God is not new. Unfortunately, it may be a particular facet of OUR faith tradition, to start with. The ancient near eastern neighbors of the ancient Jews liked to keep their deities in gender balanced pairs. Judaism's monotheism was particularly odd because it proposed a stand-alone MALE deity. (We may want to acknowledge that God isn't gendered, but that's not the same as saying that the way the ancients saw God lacked gender.) Jeremiah seems to be speaking of a masculine deity in 585 BCE, in today's passage. He is speaking to Judean refugees, people who escaped Jerusalem during the Babylonian siege in 587-586 BCE and are residing in Egypt. These are traumatized people, as is the prophet, who have all seen the destruction of their homeland and way of life.

Jeremiah is sometimes called the prophet of the Exile. He is believed to have lived and prophesied before, during, and right after the Babylonian siege that started the exile. His early work was an attempt to convince people to change their behavior something terrible happened. In Bible Study we wondered if he got stuck in that message and forgot to update it after the terrible things all happened.

I cut most of his diatribe from our reading this morning, it is particularly miserable to listen to. His speech makes God sound like an abusive spouse. Jeremiah is angry that the Egyptian refugees are worshiping a Goddess. Now, seemingly every commentator in every Bible commentary in existence takes Jeremiah's side in this argument, supporting the idea that worshiping a Goddess is idolatry and God had a right to act like a jealous (raving lunatic) spouse.

So, I'm going take on all of them! (Although not just for fun. I think they're all wrong.) The women respond to Jeremiah's furious accusations in a quite unexpected way. They respond, “Nope, we're not doing that.” Actually, their words are even better than my summary. They respond, “‘As for the word that you have spoken to us in the name of the Lord, we are not going to listen to you.” GIGGLE. I love the contrast between Jeremiah ranting and raving and expressing fury (I imagine him spitting a little bit at the sides of his mouth while he speaks) and the women calmly denying his authority over their lives.

The women go on to say that they'd worshiped the Goddess for generations, and that she'd always taken good care of them. The women say that things were going fine for them until they stopped worshiping the Goddess, and that everything went to hell when they stopped. Thus, they say, they're going back to what worked.

Now, early in Jeremiah's ministry, he got the young King Josiah to listen to him and they instituted serious reforms. The reforms including monotheism, which most scholars think is the first time it was practiced in the history of ancient Judaism. (I could proof text this for you, but I'm not going to. Let me know if you want references later!) Monotheism mean that only YHWH was to be worshiped, and that meant that the long term worship of the Goddess was suppressed. (More on this theory of the long-term worship of a Hebrew Goddess to come.)

Now, I think the theology of both Jeremiah AND the women is flawed. Judea sat on land that was the cross-roads of the ancient world and every empire that existed wanted to control it. Both groups assume a Deity who micromanages and who punishes the people for lack of faith by destroying their nation. I don't believe in such a Deity, rather I think it stunk for the Jewish people that the “Promised Land” was such a highly prized crossroads. But, to be fair, I think that both Jeremiah and the women's arguments are EQUALLY problematic.

All those Biblical commentators who take Jeremiah's side claim that the real issue here was the people's idolatry and that the response of the women shows the hard-heartedness of the people. They claim that the Jewish women were worshiping some sort of Canaanite or Babylonian Goddess, or perhaps a hybrid of the two. The Biblical commentators seem to think that God is justified in the abusive, violent language of a jealous spouse.

Ironically, they seem to miss that the presentation of God made by Jeremiah is HYPER masculine. To be fair, the origins of YHWH are in a warrior God, so there has always been a hyper masculine tone there. But Jeremiah claiming that this masculine warrior is angry and ready to kill and shame is really the very worst stereotype of masculinity imaginable, right? That's toxic masculinity. Masculinity can be so much more and so much better than that, and it almost always is! But Jeremiah is speaking of God who is violent, jealous, and murderous, as a warrior - he is presenting God in the very worst of masculine ways.

The women are claiming that there is more to life, and more to the Divine than that. So, I'm on their side. In 1967 Raphael Patai wrote seminal book entitled The Hebrew Goddess2. It has been summarized this way, “Raphael Patai argues that the Israelites experienced the same Goddess-hunger that can be found in peoples and cultures all around the world in every age – and Patai insists, too, that the worship of a female deity by the Israelites was not an act of apostasy but rather an integral part of the religion of the Hebrews.'”3 Patai,and those who have followed in his footsteps in looking for clues about folk religion, think that many ancient Hebrews worshiped a female Goddess they saw as YHWH's spouse and counterpart. I think this is pretty reasonable. If you conceive of God purely in the masculine, the human need for balance well find a way to also understand God in the feminine.

The Women's Bible Commentary thinks so too, and take it a step further. They say, “It seems certain that the Israelite women worshiped the queen of heaven. Women were excluded from full participation in temple worship, and the predominate Israelite conception of God was masculine. The queen provided them with a female deity who offered them protection and prosperity.”4I think this passage is the most overt place we can see the women's faith. There are other places that traces of it can be found (and Patai's book explains them all), but this is the one where it is in plain sight.

The women admit to worshiping a Goddess, and they think it is not only good, it is imperative. They reject the prophet who claims that only the male version of God can be worshiped. They just won't! In fact, Patai mentions a letter from 419 BCE written by a military man about the Judean colony in Egypt. The collections given to the Jewish priest are enumerated. 123 people donated in the name of YHWY, 120 donated to the Queen of Heaven.5 Jeremiah appears to have lost this argument.

Now, as a 21st century Christian, I don't think God is male, nor female. I prefer to think of God as existing beyond gender, but I also recognize that our minds are limited and metaphors are often more powerful with more specificity. Sometimes I need to imagine God as a Latina grandmother, in order to remember God's fierce protection and love. Sometimes I need to remember my own paternal grandfather and use his unfaltering affection as a way to access God's acceptance. I suspect most of us need metaphors for God that have gender, but that whenever we limit God by holding one image alone (particularly an image that reflects only one gender expression or only one ethnic identity), we end up missing much of God's nature. The institutional church has often done this, and as a result, splinter groups have left in order to see God more fully. Particularly, when the conception of God that institutional religion propagates fits in with the authority figures of society (ahem, white supremacy and the patriarchy) we know that religion is NOT reflecting God, but rather its own values.

I do, vehemently, support thinking about Goddess imagery sometimes. (And thinking about God as genderqueer sometimes too.) I think those women in Egypt were right to refuse Jeremiah's decree and to trust their own experience. I'm so thankful that their voices refuse to associate violence and abuse with the Divine! It really matters that they saw more to Holiness than what Jeremiah was claiming! It also matters that they worked together and trusted themselves more than an external authority figure! Finally, I think it matters that they choose to worship the Sacred they know to call them to life and wholeness, not the one who punished and threatened. Those women knew a lot. May we be wise enough to listen to their wisdom. Amen

1 Barbara Thorington Green, Calling God She (Middleton, DE self-published), 84-85. Used with permission.

2 Raphael Patai, The Hebrew Goddess (Detroit: Wayne State University Press, 1967 first edition, 1990, 3rd edition)

3 Jonathan Kirsch, The Harlot by the Side of the Road: Forbidden Tales of the Bible (New York: Ballantine Books, 1997) p. 224.

4 Katheleen M. O'Connor, “Jeremiah” in Women's Bible Commenatry edited by Carol A. Newsom and Sharon H. Ringe (Louisville, Kentucky: Westminster John Knox Press, 1992, 1998) p. 182

5 Patai, location 1149 in Kindle version (end of chapter 2).

--

Rev. Sara E. Baron

First United Methodist Church of Schenectady

603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305

Pronouns: she/her/hers

http://fumcschenectady.org/

https://www.facebook.com/FUMCSchenectady

August 13, 2017