#I’m in my angst era L

[raine-witcher]

Spotify has given me a dangerous tool for sorting my music

[kiss-me-muchoo]

𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬, 𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐳𝐞 || 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠!𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

part one: stop, you’re losing me || part two: in the trees, in the breeze (here)

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲_ your memory kept haunting Coriolanus Snow, so he found the way to end his exile. It’s a new era, but the same old feelings between Coriolanus and you keep causing scandals. Although, you are not ready to let go the pain he caused to you.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬_ Capitol ballerina!reader, angst, drama, violence and death lol, jealousy, unhinged Coriolanus, sex mentions, reader still has health problems, etc. 13k words fic IM SORRY

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞_ hear this along Can’t catch me now, I’m not an OR fan but I love that song from her. I mean, who didn’t? And thank you for the wait and loveeeee. PLEASE TELL ME OF ANY ERRORS BC I CAN’T BE ALMOST ACCUSED OF BEING TRANSPHOBIC PLEASEEEE

♪ ♫ awful Coriolanus Snow playlist ✰ Index (+ fics here)

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Red, blue, red, red, yellow, green, green, pink.

Every color is correctly marked. A nurse smiles with some papers on her hand before she dissapears.

You can get dressed again. The color test was done, your vision was okay.

Purple and green bruises are scattered across your skin. Some appeared on your inner thighs. Two on your knees and one on the ribs from the day you collapsed after the post-Hunger Games celebration. You sigh covering your skin with a long floral dress. The reflection of yourself on the mirror salutes you with a tired, broken and sad face. It makes you force a smile, pretending more people were watching you. The room in empty though.

“Everything is fine. Your body is responding well to the shots.” A doctor asks as soon as he walks in into the room.

“The only thing that worries me is your mental health. Have you been stressed or has anything happened to you that could be considered a traumatic experience?”

The pointe shoes soaked in blood. The unstoppable bleeding on your feet. The late nights with panic attacks and over thinking. That young blonde man and the songbird together. The night on dressing room, how your hand burned after slapping the man so hard. The shock of all the events surrounding your life two weeks ago. How you lost control, your head spinning, blurred vision, heart pounding, numb arms and how you felt the oxygen was leaving. All the things you did for someone who never deserved you, making you shatter, fainting as soon as you finished dancing.

“Miss y/l/n… Are you okay?” The distant voice of the doctor breaks your bubble. You shake your head in disguise before turning away from the mirror, facing him and smiling politely.

“Yes, I’m fine. I was very stressed, yeah. Working with the production of the Hunger Games. My artistic performances, last days at the Academy. It was a lot…” the doctor sighs, annotating something. He then handed you the paper.

“I’m giving you some treatment for that. And please, you have to be careful and calm. Only that way the medicine will help everything to work here” he points his head. You nod, accepting the paper.

After that, you leave the private hospital. Trevor is there, your chauffeur and friend. He smiles, opening the door for you.

“Thank you, Trevor” he starts the car soon after.

“Is everything okay?” You nod, looking at the bright day at the Capitol.

“I just need to relax and eat well.” Trevor had trimmed his hair. It made him look younger, making you smile at the memory of him saying his wife was his hairstylist.

“Good. Oh, I received a call from your mother. This woman…uh, Dr. Volumnia Gaul? She wants to see you at the Univeristy today” you frown to look at him confused.

“Oh? So… Can we go now?” He nods, turning left to start the route. Meanwhile, you wonder what could she want. You made your part, the games had a higher amount of viewers compared to last year. You engaged with the production and the celebration was at full capacity. Your little accident even made it more attractive to the media. Appearing on the papers and magazines across Panem.

And after everything, you still wanted to keep dancing. Or else range would consume you.

…

It’s the first time you step inside the Capitol’s University. It’s very similar to the Academy, but the floor tiles are green and white. There’s a lot of white, cream, golden and black decorating the halls and long stairs.

Since it’s summer, most of the building was empty. Only some of the staff, and very few people who seemed like students. You see they dress very elegant. Some women wore hats with feathers or flowers. The men wore classy suits and you genuinely thought you would fit in.

You couldn’t wait to have some sense of normality as a Univeristy student along Clemensia and Lysistrata. Your only close friends left. Well, also Festus and Sejanus. At the time, you didn’t event know your dear friend was dead.

What seems like the private office of Gaul has a red door. Inside, she had a laboratory, smaller but weirder than the one you had seen before. Full of dissected creatures, tanks and crystal containers with unknown chemicals.

Some steps further and you see her desk, where she is collecting some folders and putting them away in some shelves.

“Glad to see you breathing, miss y/l/n…” somehow you found the humor to smile coldly.

“As you can see.” You reply standing perfectly correct.

“By this point you should know what happened to Mr. Snow” goosebumps make you shake your shoulders slightly, you nod again.

“He was exiled. Twenty years. He lied to me and did not said a thing about cheating on the games”

“Indeed. However this morning, I just discovered he bribed a woman to be sent to District 12.” You bite your tongue to hide your fury. A hot feeling invade your chest in rage. But you just breathe, failing to not show discontent.

“That’s not any of my business anymore.” Even Gaul seems taken aback. However, she doesn’t say anything, she just keeps pulling away the pile of folders.

“Well, since it seems you both parted ways… I must share that I’m deleting any record or data related to the 10th Hunger Games. Too many things happened before, during and after the games. Things that would compromise the reputation of the whole organization. Including me, the Academy, the mentors, you and Mr. Snow” honestly, you don’t know what to say. You just frown slightly, demonstrating how confused you were. But you also understood with half of the context. The death of Arachne, Coriolanus and his odd ways to make his songbird oustand, the rebel attack, Lucy Gray Baird winning from cheat. And the things you didnt know like Sejanus entering the arena.

However, you stick to your parent’s advice. You have to think about you and anyone else.

“I understand. But I did my part. I completed my task so I hope this decision doesn’t jeopardize my grant” she smiles. Dr. Gaul secretly believed that you and Coriolanus Snow could rule Panem together. In a sick and evil way, so she really hoped her dark intentions would work.

“Of course not. We had a deal. The views went up this year. You brought a new vision for the promotion that I’ll hardly let go.” The ambition started tickling you. Making you roll your tongue inside your closed mouth, at the verge of opening it and talking.

“Good.”

“In fact, you would be a nice option to become head of the promotion and relations team.” From the last games, you realized the director only gave instructions but he rarely did the dirty job. You liked having some power over the games. And now, a childish and unjustified resentment towards District 12 made you smile as Gaul offered you a new job.

“Is it a possible option to be working in behalf of my mother’s institution?”

“You’re very smart, y/n y/l/n. You are going further than Mr. Snow” your smile only grows, knowing you are nit being correct. You are letting the rage and resentment to guide you. You will make your last name shine brighter than your parents did. Just to rub it in the face of certain blonde who was now exiled. Probably savoring the country life of District 12.

“I just want to make my family’s name bigger than it already is” the woman giggles, taking out a red envelope and handing it you.

“I assume you’ll pursue the arts as you’re speciality. But if you want to get involved with the production, marketing and relations. You are taking politics and some lessons with me” when you look down at the envelope, the golden logo of the university is greeting you. It’s the admission letter.

“I expect to see you here by the end of the summer” you nod, thanking her.

And as you walk outside where Trevor is waiting for you, you have a cocky smile. Feelings like things could go better. You don’t even remember the doctor’s appointment you were in before coming to see Gaul.

…

Your soft hands gently brush against his forehead. Coriolanus had chills, he hadn’t had fever since he was 15 years old. But your hands are so soft even when they feel cold as ice. He just knows he’s in his bed. In his rottening penthouse. He can see a slightly blurred image of you, wearing a green dress, your hair in a braid, a golden necklace, dark purple lips. He can’t hear your words, but you are talking to him, spreading some cream across his chest, immediately he felt the mint soothing his cough and pain. He must’ve said something funny, because he can now see clearly your face, gorgeous as always. And he can clearly hear you laughing.

Coriolanus wakes up smiling. And he realised he was dreaming.

He was in a small and creaky lower bunk bed. Sejanus sleeping in the upper bunk. The sun hasn’t come up. And he’s a peacekeeper in District 12.

It’s been weeks since he left the Capitol. And since day one, you seem to be haunting him.

Current dreams of you, swearing to be hearing your voice. It makes him want to call you every single day. But he doesn’t. He was able to forget about you when he was in the peacekeeper training and duties. When he was with Lucy Gray any trace of you was gone. But as soon as he had a moment alone, he would remember everyhting about you.

He missed you. Painfully a lot.

Every Friday, he had been sending the letters. He hoped your mother would hand them to you. But Coriolanus knew you too well to know you likely would not be reading them. Nonetheless, he was letting himself to write the most vulnerable pieces of him, putting his heart on each word and phrase. Hoping that by the time his exile was over, you would have forgiven him.

When the sun came up, he was up along the rest of the boys. Sejanus gives him a friendly smile and they’re out exercising and doing jobs all day long. During his break, he’s able to seat in an old bench, with a beautiful view of an open green field.

That’s when he dreams of seeing you there, dancing or simply standing there with a sundress. Like the ones you used to wear on summer when he visited the house your parents had in District 4. He dreams so hard that he swears seeing the skirt of your dress swaying through the trees. And that’s when he knows he’s so fucked up.

But that’s long forgotten after the break is over. And by the night, he’s on the biggest bar of the town. He sees Lucy Gray singing something new. He honestly never understood the meaning behind her songs, but he was enchanted by her do what she loved.

After her live presentation, a big projector was introduced. They started playing the weather with Lucky Flickerman. Which made Coriolanus miss the Capitol so bad.

“They’re probably waiting for some women. That’s why the always start that thing” Lucy Gray said, appearing by his side and pointing at the projector. He smiled at her.

“To see women?” She nodded, grabbing a glass of cold water.

“You know how are men around here” with no tv around, no ostentatious lifestyles, men could get excited with little makeup and satin gowns. Coriolanus was disgusted by many mannerism of the 12. He had heard and seen many disapproving behaviors. But he was happy to be able to find some peace along the songbird.

“Yes, I know. What’s that thing by the way?” When Coriolanus turned around to see the old projector, he almost choked after seeing the big logo appearing.

It was the summer fundraising charity of your mother. Another luxurious gala to help the constructions of the Capitol after war. However, that wasnt the most impressive part for Coriolanus. Seconds after the recovered from seeing something directly related to his past, you appeared in the projector, entering the stage and getting in pose to start a performance.

Lucy Gray Baird was in shock. So if she was surprised, the men all around the bar where cheering and whistling.

There you were, with curled wet hair, metallic bronze makeup, wine lips, golden bracelets on your arms. But it was the attire. A two piece set that let your legs and stomach show off. With bare feet, and two elegant knives, one in each hand. Your cocky smile was back. And it was ruining Coriolanus Snow.

He literally jumped from his seat, leaving Lucy Gray to cross the river of men and properly see you.

She knew you had broken up with him. And that relieved the songbird, as she felt like she could let her feelings for Coriolanus flow freely. But seeing the boy literally hipnotized as soon he saw you, it made her feel uneasy. Deeply she knew that Coriolanus wasn’t over you. And no matter what, you were a sensible subject for him. That not even herself could ever test.

But he kept going. Each step meant hearing them say how good you looked, the places where they’d put their hands on your body. It boiled his blood.

But finally, the dance killed him. Because maybe for the capitol you were still elegant and classy. Their eyes would publicly appreciate your art, and privately let their mind wander with your half naked body. But for people from the 12. It was like throwing a piece of meat to lions in starvation.

With your hips swaying tentatively, pointed feet and letting everyone know how flexible you were. That sassy look on your face that Coriolanus was feeling too personal. It was like you were saying “look what you lost”.

He was used to see you in pastel tutus, hair in a bun. Not this goddess ritual dance type of thing. The music was very different, something very uncommon in Panem. He really wants to punch every man in the room. He sees how most of the women in the bar see your graceful image with disgust. And Coriolanus couldn’t blame them. But it made him remember that he had lost the right to call you his. And that intrusive thought made him automatically think he wanted to go back home so badly.

Your sensual and meticulous steps keep going, the knives making him remember the folk tales of women dancing with sharp objects to show fertility, honor of their kingdom and to seal a man’s faith. Every minute more desperate for Snow, who’s over the edge of hearing men say plenty of things about you. But soon, the music stops with you arched, pointed feet, your curls kissing the stage, the knives perfectly pointing like a clock.

Coriolanus doesnt miss your evil smile. He can sense you are changing. And he remember all the pain he caused you, making him sigh in resignation. His desire of going back for you only growing.

“I’m sorry I left like that” he explains to Lucy Gray. She notices how quick he drank his beer. She was a woman after all, she knew the effect a fine female could have on men. Especially on the man who was their lover. The one that probably hurt her and left her, ending their history in bad terms.

“It’s okay. I told you she was very pretty before” Coriolanus learns that Lucy Gray was not being sarcastic that day at the zoo.

…

It had come to the point where he couldn’t run away from his thoughts. Coriolanus was borderline obsessed with your memory. He constantly wondered how you were doing. He had to ask Tigris every time they talked to see learn anything about you.

For the first time, since he left the Capitol, Tigris shares that she had talked to you.

Coriolanus was surprised to hear that the reason you gave about the breakup was only because he cheated with Lucy Gray.

You didn’t said a word about him the lies, the last argument you two had. You only say that his songbird was special. And that you stopped to be what he needed.

Which was heavily mistaken. Some days before he accepted that you were the only thing he needed to keep going. He imagines a fake scenario where you came to the 12 with him. You find a humble home where you wait till his training is over. The lake where he spent hours with Lucy Gray and The Covey could’ve been hours with you. Talking about anything and everything. He would’ve come straight home to you when the training was over. Make love to you, promise to fight for a higher position, possibly as a commander one day and marrying you. And soon the years would’ve passed, his exile would be over and you would go back to the Capitol with him. Maybe some children along.

But that would never happen. And his delusion was starting to make him find a way to go back where he belonged.

He questioned if his urges where for power, or to get back with the woman he loved.

Whatever the reason was, a lot of people would pay the price. First were the daughter of the mayor and her partner, then the man who had the decency to hide the gun he used to kill those two. Who also happened to be his alleged best friend.

His hands trembling as he pressed to record Sejanus. But he knew there were high possibilities of being heard. And that way, he would go back. He would find you and slowly start again.

The death of Sejanus would haunt him for a long time. He knew he was a close friend of yours, which made him get chills, uneasy to decide what could be your reaction to the news. Either way, it was done. The heavens had to have heard him. He was offered to serve in District 2, gain some money and he could easily take the train to see you if anything.

But Lucy Gray had other plans. And Coriolanus wasnt even sure of what he was doing. Probably in his rambling and panic after everything he went through as a peacekeeper, one side of him wanted to run away and never see back again. To forget about his decisions as a mentor, to forget about his decisions as a peacekeeper and to forget about you. That way he would never have to face all the pain he caused you.

After some hours of walking, Coriolanus should have seen the signs.

“Everyone in the Covey are really good dancers. But I don’t think it’s my thing. I just have my voice…” Lucy Gray said, holding her bag tightly. Coriolanus only smiled, remembering how bad the songbird was when he tried to teach her how to waltz.

“Is it like… exclusive in the Capitol?”

“I think so. Today there’s only one institution, the mother of…” he goes quiet, realizing what he was about to say.

“…y/n?” She asked, almost nervous about mentioning your name. But in reality, she wasnt. After Coriolanus nodded, they just kept walking in silence.

“Her mother founded it?”

“It was her grandmother actually. Mine knew her, and they were kind of friends” he said smiling, trying to look away from Lucy Gray so he couldn’t see him smiling.

Once you leaned Coriolanus was financially struggling some years ago, you ended up visiting him for the first time. That day you learned Grandma’am was friend of your family before your mother was born. And that only made her appreciate you faster. Which made Coriolanus happy. Finally seeing her grandmother to let go the days of the war and any crazy ideas that stayed on her mind. All thanks to you.

“Grandma’am even started planting pink roses for her.” It slipped out automatically, he couldn’t control it.

“She’s like ink…” Coriolanus missed the point. But after some minutes of silence, he understood what Lucy Gray said. Which resulted true. Metaphorically, you were the brightest tint he’d ever seen. He let that ink fall and splash everywhere, leaving stains on him that probably would never leave.

And finally, Lucy Gray Baird fell to her end in the shallow woods. Hunted like a prey. By a broken man who decided to stop being good. Who was losing his mind for the pieces of a woman he let go so easily.

That changes like the destination of Coriolanus.

He’s going back to the Capitol. With tiny sparks of hope. But firmly believing that everyhting was meant to happen like that so he could go back to you.

However, as he came closer, Coriolanus realized he was lost. He had no idea what would await for him. And what version of you would greet him.

…

There isn’t an exact period over the Capitol that can’t be considered as autumn. The summer was practically over, and winter was already happening. Coriolanus had to wait longer than expected to get into University. In the meantime, he accepted the money from the Plinth family. He decided to get ahead of time. He used the last hot days to get Tigris and Grandma’am back to the penthouse. He bought the whole building and in two weeks the whole place was renewed. There was only one thing he couldn’t get rid of. The living room and entrance olive paint you brought. He painted the halls, dining room, studio and kitchen in a dark blue paint. But he wasnt able to get rid of the memories he made with you. His old self was long gone. But he had his supcisions that the version he was for you would never change.

However, he decided to stay afar from the public eye for that month after returning from exile.

Tigris said she hadn’t seen you. But that was okay. He would soon enter to University. He was going to see you there.

Eventually the day came. He gets rid off Casca Highbottom and then he walks towards the big and imposing University of the Capitol. He had a driver now, but he thought it wouldn’t be bad to use the mornings to walk.

In his first hours inside, he has private lessons with Dr. Gaul. Already mentoring him to be a game maker. She kind of suspects he was involved with the sudden death of Highbottom. But for some reason, Gaul has a lot of hopes in him, so she would easily act blind to keep her plans to keep going.

After that, Coriolanus starts looking out for you. He crosses the big seminar rooms and other halls. Until he is able to locate the arts building. It’s smaller but probably the most interesting. With a beautiful barroque facade. As soon as he enters, he sees a group of girls holding large canvas with beautiful paintings on them. Then, some steps later he spots two guys trying to carry a sculpture. Coriolanus believes that kind of modern art was the future of the Capitol. He had to admit the arts building was fully alive, he even forgot he was still at the university.

Coming down from some stairs, he sees two girls. A red haired and a tanned with black leotards and floral skirts are giggling. They seems like dancers, he doesnt think twice. He’s already approaching the girls.

“Excuse me, ladies. Do you know by any chance where I can find y/n y/l/n?” The girls look cheekily at each other, before smiling at him. Which makes Coriolanus wonder what type of rumours had been flowing around about you and him. Since mostly everyone knew the last Snow heir was dating the daughter of the kings of Panem´s television industry.

“She’s rehearsing a class for new students. It’s on the second floor, you’ll hear the music…” he thanks the tanned girl before going upstairs.

She wasn’t lying. He started hearing the classical piano music. He can hear some distant and low cheering. The whole floor is full of dancers. It’s a long hall, to the right, a big studio, with a classical mural, chandeliers and the most giant mirror he’d ever seen.

The people outside the studio see him with curiosity. But he only has eyes for the ballerina dancing all across the studio.

There you are, with a coral tutu, baby pink leotard and thighs. Your pointe shoes seem new. Your cheeks look so pink and your smile is there.

He has to understand that you have become popular enough to have your own fans. Some rumors said that your mother was offering master classes at the University. And he couldn’t help but think how much your family’s name have growth since he left.

He lost count of many turns you did, but you finish cleanly, offering a beautiful view of your tutu wadding. He can’t stop smiling.

People start a round of applauses. He debates whether to get closer or not. He doesnt have any speech prepared. He doesn’t know what to say to you.

“Coriolanus?” When he turns around, he sees Clemensia Dovecote there. Her old study buddy looked older, but not in a bad way. He saw the scales on her skin. But he didnt had to ask, he knew it was because of the rainbow snakes. It just seemed weird to see her short sleeves but turtleneck, rather than her trying to cover all of her face.

“Clemensia” he greets her. Clemmie was probably your female best friend. It wasnt a surprise that suddenly the woman seemed to dislike him.

“Since when you returned?” He looks back at you again. As the music keeps playing, he just smiles. He know the way things would now work. With no how are you questions or anything like the past.

“Some weeks ago.” Clemensia looks like she’s analyzing every movement and word of him.

“Why are you here?” Her hostile tone only makes Coriolanus to act more relaxed than he already is.

“I made the promise to come back for y/n…” the woman stares at him, probably taken aback.

“She doesn’t need this, Coriolanus. She can’t have this” Clemensia had visited you at the hospital. She learned most of his lies towards you. She knew you didn’t deserved to fall again. And especially not because of him.

“I know, Clemmie. I won’t be a burden for her” the music stops, and Coriolanus decides that it’s not time to talk to you yet. So he smiles once again to Clemensia.

“I hope so. Because you already failed her once…” his smile drops. Clemensia dissapears to get inside the studio. Coriolanus stares at you one last time, before he silently walks out.

…

Before you can reach your glass of posca, a porcelain plate with your food slides on the way. A soft piece pile of fried little steaks, with melted cheese and a golden sauce of mushrooms dripping. Your stomach churns and it makes Clemensia laugh.

She had a salmon fine cut with caviar and other exotic stuff. It was a beautiful afternoon to have dinner at one of the most elegant restaurants of the Capitol Downtown.

“Bless your food.”

“Bless your food” you reply back to her.

“So, How it went the rehearsal?” You roll your eyes giggling.

“It was great, until the girls taking the masterclass appeared to see me” your father was right. After working in the production of the 10th Hunger Games, many doors opened for you. Splendid career opportunities here and there. Only that you didn’t enjoy a lot of attention.

“Are they still at the Academy” you nod.

“Rich girls who can make their parents pay the classes of course” Clemensia smiles, drinking a little bit before getting back to eat.

“Coriolanus was looking for you…” you literally stopped eating. You almost drop your fork, but you decided to hold it firmly.

“What?”

“Apparently he’s back.” She reveals. Making you close your eyes in panic.

“How? He was exiled” you say whispering. Clemmie shrugs.

“Gaul. He’s her pupil star. And with Dean Highbottom dead now…” it must’ve been great for Coriolanus to learn the man was gone. Always putting him in the lowest, it was a mark for change.

“Doesn’t matter, I won’t let this get into my way” she smiles.

“What about what your father said?” During a late lunch, you had been talking with your parents, revealing that you broke up with Coriolanus because he cheated. Your mother was shocked, but soon she joined your father to give a twisted advice. He asked if you still loved him. You answered you weren’t sure.

Then I suggest you to proceed to ignore him. Soon you’ll learn his intentions if he ever comes back. Play with him a little. Show him that nobody will laugh in the face of family like ours. Let your hands get dirty, but never show this insecurity you’re talking about.

From that day, you still wake up every morning without knowing how you actually feel about Coriolanus Snow. You know you can’t just simply forget about all the things you did with him. But you firmly pretended that he was in the past.

“I still don’t know how I feel about him.”

“Are you still in contact with his family?” You remember Tigris and Grandma’am.

“Not as much as I used to”

“Mhm. Did they ever learned what happened?” You sigh.

“Just that he opted to choose the songbird before me. And I know Tigris has her own opinion. I just never gave her the opportunity to share it.”

“With him back… probably you’ll find out sooner than later” Clemensia admits, leaving you thinking for the rest of the dinner.

Turns out that you are not ready to find out yet.

…

The first time you see him, it’s at the gardens of the University. You had lunch and wanted to have a brief walk. Through a maze of flowers and plants, you spot him on a bench. He’s very concentrated reading a book. Your eyes widen, seeing how much different he looked. The posture, the clothes, the hair, the cold look.

Something notoriously changed. And you have your suspicions. It wasn’t a coincidence that Sejanus was gone, and Lucy Gray Baird had dissapeared.

You mourned the death of Sejanus one week. You send your condolences to his parents at the funeral. And that night you can’t help but cry on your pillow. Wondering why had life slowly turned dark. In a matter of months you had experienced things you never thought you would. You lost people, you had your first heart broken. You had lost the will to do much things. But, you had to keep going. And you felt guilty, because you thought you had no right to feel like your life was hard, just for being Capitol. The districts struggled more. However, it’s not on your power to mend their lives. Just as it’s not their case to judge your life.

And now, seeing Coriolanus so firm, so calm, it makes you doubt. Sensing that there must’ve been something off about him. Something bad, like all the things he did and hid from you.

You pretend you’re looking for some papers in your bag when you walk past him. He doesn’t see you though, and you thank it.

A couple of days later, you hear for the first time the rumours about him courting Livia Cardew. It makes you feel depressed. You cry out of anger as soon as you get home.

And to your dismay, the first thing you see after turning into a room for the politics class, it’s them. Coriolanus Snow is talking to Livia just beside the door.

That’s the first time you two look at each other again. He sees the anger, discontent and so much resentment. You see the questioning, curiosity and admiration in his eyes.

Nothing else is said because you break the gazes, you walk inside the room with your head high, and your presence is so evident that even Livia has to look at you. Taking too much time to see your beautiful heels.

A week later, you are having a good time with your friends. Festus and Lysistrata are there with you and Clemensia. You are talking all about the upcoming winter gala held at the biggest auditorium in the Capitol. Everyone is excited because it’s the great opportunity to make contacts and eat the most delicious food.

“Is your mother inviting Coriolanus?” Lysistrata asks with curiosity. You roll your eyes at the subject.

“I hope not. I haven’t even spoken with him ever since he came back” everyone knew you had broke up with him. But only Clemensia knew the details.

“Well, apparently he is courting Livia now” Festus mocks, making everyone laugh. Not that any of you had something personal against Livia. But she wasn’t the most brilliant star at the Academy. Now not certainly at University.

“Why Livia?” Clemmie asks laughing.

“Perhaps it’s becase how naïve she is”

“Or because of her father’s inheritance” you add.

“I don’t think so. He’s now the heir of the Plinth fortune” Festus remarks with dessaproval, which makes you feel angered.

“He’s dancing on Sejanus’ grave” your words create some minutes of silence for your late friend. Even when Festus and Lysistrata had made fun of him for being District and the ways of his parents to go up, at the end, they were friends. And now his absence had created a void.

“Ambitious and annoying. Just like his father…” Lysistrata comments sipping on her glass of water.

“How unfortunate. If he had stayed with you, we wouldn’t be talking bad things about him behind his back” you sigh at Clemensia’s words.

“Speaking of the king…” when you look past Lysistrata seated on her chair, you spot Coriolanus. He was wearing a dark grey suit, he looked so fine you had to admit. But soon you look away, the sudden memories of your last days with him haunt you.

After spotting his old friends and ex lover in a table at the cafeteria, he start walking towards there. Trying to make his first moves to go back to normality.

“Yeah. He would’ve been seated beside me right now. But he consciously choose the songbird before me. At least he’s refining himself a little bit with Livia” your friends turn to look at you in shock after the revelation, Clemmie only rises her brows as she sips her water silently, hiding her smile. By the time Coriolanus arrives the table, you’re gone and he curses himself for not walking faster. Festus and Lysistrata are shocked, making him furrow his brows in confusion.

“Did I missed something?” He asks.

“You had an affair with your tribute?” Lysistrata asks back in disgust. Coriolanus sees Clemensia giggling in silence with her head down. Probably enjoying his embarrassment.

His silence meets the requirement for an answer. One that they take as yes.

“And now y/n knows about you and Livia” Coriolanus frowns ever deeper after looking at Clemensia.

“There’s no Livia and I” He responds firmly. Even disgusted to her his name along the least smart girl of his finances class.

“Oh but everyone believes so. That you’re courting her…” he rolls his eyes, annoyed.

“I’m just talking to her because we’re partners for some stupid research paper” the silent sipping on their drinks at the same time is ridiculous to Coriolanus. He just stares at them annoyed.

“Do me a favor and leave her alone, Coriolanus. You were gone to go to your nobody girl from 12, but I stayed and saw her struggling in that hospital bed” Clemensia speaks confidently. Making the blonde to feel threatened.

So he realises that maybe you could have feelings for him still. And that this rumors could have weight on you. He curses himself. Even without realizing, he’s still hurting you.

“I won’t lose the girl twice, Clemmie. Have a good day” he says with a fake smile before leaving the table in shock.

He had to quicken the pace of his proximity with you. He had to make you see he never stopped caring for you.

…

There’s a shattering mess of broken glasses. You quickly move away from the crime scene, looking for your pills, immediately swallowing two.

Your mother’s assistant opens the door, asking for you with concern.

“Is everything okay, miss y/n?” You turn to look a the woman.

“I accidentally threw the jar. Sorry…” Millie is in her mid thirties. She was your mother’s confidant, and slowly yours too. She sees the news paper in the floor, half of it drenched from the broken jar that had water. She can see the title, The Snow heir tights the knot with the Cardew family?

“I’ll call the maids. Don’t worry” she says looking back at you.

“Thanks Millie.” She smiles, closing the door behind.

You breathe loudly, sighing in stress. Of course you had purposely thrown the water jar because of the news paper. A portrait picture of Livia is placed perfectly aligned with one of Coriolanus. Between some paragraph there’s your name too. But you don’t dare to see why.

You may pretend to be okay to the public eye, but you’re still drowning in the same feelings you got after Coriolanus Snow revealed his lies to you.

It’s almost like if he was still mocking you. Showing everyone how easy he had played with you. And how easy he got rid of you.

Someone had to pay. No, not someone, he. He, himself, Coriolanus Snow had to fail. Only that way you would feel slightly better. Only that way your tears would stop being for him.

The first chance you had, you would take it.

…

While you loved pursuing a dancing career along the production stuff. You still had some duties regarding politics and economy. Which is why you ended up at the submissions office so early in the morning. To send a petition.

You end up at at a messy office. A man is there, moving folders and other type of papers. There’s three baskets that can clearly be read as; approved, denied, pending.

However, you quickly look away to smile at the man who’s sitting behind the chair.

“Good morning.” Your smile is contagious to everyone. The man replies with a warm greeting.

“Good morning, miss y//l/n. How can I help you?”

“I was wondering if you could hand me a petition form to send” he nods, standing up, leaving the mess of papers behind.

“I can, just let me go and print the form. It won’t take too long…” you smile again, letting him go outside the office.

As you wait, you start seeing the racks of boxes and more boxes filled with yellow and lined papers.

Your curiosity grows, making you look at the baskets on the desk.

You see at first glance some graduation petitions, letters, etc. You are still curious to see why some papers where pending. So you look at the door one last time before diving into the papers. You don’t know the first students mentioned. Until you see the third yellow folder, where you can see a white strip with black letter saying Coriolanus Snow.

You open the folder, seeing what it was all about. A petition to start a political campaign at the age of 19. You frowned. He was good at writing. Even with letters he had some charm. But you know he never beated you to be precise and delicate. You always heard Grandma’am saying he would one day be president. But you never seriously discussed it with him. Now you know it was real. And you can’t help but feel an enormous amount of remorse.

He doesn’t deserve it. He had lost everything once, but the way he was earning everything was through breaking you, and probably others you’ll never knew about. Even when it would make Tigris and Grandma’am happy, you slip the folder into the basket of denied. You don’t feel nothing as you do it.

In fact, you offer the sweet man a smile when he comes back with the form for you. You thank him and then walk out.

…

Coriolanus swears he didn’t intend to bump into your father at the bank. Your father was a frivolous man, but since he knew him, he greeted Coriolanus with respect.

The blonde was taken aback when he invited him to have dinner at your house. And he couldn’t say no.

Your house is the same. At least from the outside, because inside, there’s more color. Coriolanus sees your mother. And she offers him a smile before he leans to give her a kiss on the cheek.

“Coriolanus, look at you. You look very handsome!” His cheeks warm, as your father giggles, handing his coat to a maid.

“I ran into him at the bank. Where’s y/n, dear?” Your mother laughs, rolling her eyes.

“That girl. I haven’t seen her out of her room since midday” the sudden sound of your heels gets noticed.

“I’m here” you say, coming down the stairs, putting some earrings on. Coriolanus notices the grey dress and black heels along the red tights. A diadem on your head and a bright smile that soon dissapears as you spot him in your house.

“Look who I found earlier” you sigh, standing straight.

“I see…” Your parents can see the way you correct your posture, showing how uncomfortable you are.

“We’re having dinner…” you ignore Coriolanus and his deep gaze on you.

“I can’t stay for dinner. I have rehearsals and I promised Clemmie to go to her birthday dinner party” they exchange looks. And Coriolanus is at the verge of smiling at the way you are making up an excuse to leave. Running away from him.

“Are you meeting with Jan before?” Coriolanus head almost pops to look at your father. And you don’t know if you should smile. Jan was your dance partner, he would dance with you at the gala. He was older, very handsome. And you wished he wasn’t off limits from you. Because you easily could admit your attraction towards him.

“Can you at least stay for some drinks?” You shrug at your mother, accepting your purse from a maid. You ignore Coriolanus and his way of looking at you, almost petrified.

His head was spinning, he needed to know who the hell was Jan.

“Unless you want me to do horrible at the Winter Gala, no. I cannot stay, mother” she sighs, tilting her head towards your father. He understands, your father was the one who convinced you to ignore Coriolanus and play with him.

“Well, that’s fine. Just be polite and say goodbye to Coriolanus.” You nod, watching them leave inside the long corridor to enter the dinning table.

You remain quiet, looking down at your purse to avoid his eyes.

“You look lovely” he says, breaking the ice.

“Thank you.”

It’s the first time you two talk since months ago.

“I heard you want to start your political campaign” you opt to pretend you are okay and you can face him with confidence.

“I did. But the idiots of the council rejected my essay. Guess it’ll give me more time to focus on university.” You nod, grabbing a pair of gloves from inside the purse. You want to smile so badly. He would never know you were the reason of his failed first steps in the politic of Panem.

“Anyways… How you’ve been?”

“I’m fine, Coriolanus.” the way you sound tired. Like tired of him makes him uncomfortable. But he tries to keep his best smile too.

“Who is Jan?” He asks almost too seriously. You smile politely at him

“No one of your business, Snow” you calling him by his last name takes him very aback.

“You know, I just hoped that… you know. Maybe we could start off again… like friends of course” you giggle, lowering your head. He frowns confused.

“Miss y/n, Trevor is waiting in the car for you” the butler say appearing from the side door, you thank him and he leaves again.

“I don’t think there’s a way to start again. You already failed me once, Coriolanus.” You admit, putting on the gloves with a bittersweet smile on your face. You turn to pat his cheek, and he swears he’s about to melt. He lounged for your touch since the moment he left you at the hospital. He closes his eyes, hoping to slow down time and felt your cold touch.

But you move away your hand. He opens his eyes and sees you putting the last pair of the gloves on. You walk towards the door.

“You know where the dinning table room is.” And with that, you are gone.

…

Your father gave him the green light to court you again. Coriolanus had to swear that he would never cause you any type of pain, or else, your father would destroy his career before it officially started.

That was more than enough for him. Since that day, slowly, he had been greeting you almost every day, at Univeristy and when you ecountered him and Tigris in a furniture store. You personally invited her to the Winter gala, and Tigris agreed to not share the news about the invitation. But to the young Snow woman, it was a surprise that your father had already invited Coriolanus to the gala.

Soon the day came. As usual the gala opened with the performance of an specific play, than everyone celebrated in the hall with fine dining, and everyone gossiped as auctions happened. It had been a couple of weeks, very busy ones. Probably it was even more important than the arts gala on March. But for this special occasion you had rehearsed a lot to be an elegant black swan.

You smile at your own reflection at the mirror, the black tutu was gorgeous. The crown you had to use was very intriguing. And the black makeup made you feel very confident.

“I came as soon as I could” Clemensia suddenly opens the door of your dressing room. She looks agitated, but she looked amazing on a beige dress and her hair in half ponytail.

“You look very pretty” she thanks you.

“But look at you. You are going to be amazing.” She sits and both start gossiping.

“Your father invited Coriolanus.” It makes you roll your eyes tired. But you are having a heartache.

“I’m… not sure if I don’t feel anything about him” Clemmie leaves her glass of champagne.

“The newspaper rumour affected you. Right?” Slowly, you nod. Too embarrassed to look at her in the eye. But Coriolanus had been really good. He smiled at you at any chance he could. Some days he would join you and your friends and he was fun, you had to bite your tongue to avoid giggling. And Clemensia had seen it too.

“I can’t blame you. I was there since the beginning…” your friend had seen the courting, the first awkward hand holding, how you two formed a strong connection. And Coriolanus left you at the hospital.

“You two had a beautiful bond. And he broke it. But that doesn’t mean you can’t miss him” Clemmie goes to hug you.

“Pa’ said to keep playing with him, to ignore him. But I’m tired, I just want to heal” she nods, letting you hide your face on her shoulder.

“You want my advice?” You nod.

“Do not force anything. Be polite to him, but avoid giving him any chance yet. As you heal, you’ll find the answer; if you should let him have another chance or not”

A man knocks. When Clemensia opens the door, he receives a bouquet of white roses.

You could recognize those roses anywhere. You get closer, taking the attached note.

Grandma’am and Tigris didn’t know what flowers to cut.

Good luck.

You try to hide your smile. But it’s impossible.

…

The whole place is full. Coriolanus takes a seat with Tigris besides.

“I talked with her yesterday. She said she was very nervous about this one” Tigris says. Coriolanus knows she’s talking about you.

“She’s always perfect, she shouldn’t feel nervous.” His mind was only thinking about Jan. He did his research. And learned he was a former dancer of your mother’s institution. It made him mad.

“Have you thought about inviting her to have dinner?” Coriolanus shakes his head.

“Not yet, I haven’t talked enough to her”

“Well, hurry up. Grandma’am wanted to see you married by the age of 20” she says laughing. But it doesn’t make Coriolanus smile.

“Oh look, it’s starting” Tigris squealed with excitement. The curtains lifted and the show started.

For the first twenty minutes, he’s so bored. Nothing exciting happens. He thinks the white swan is boring. And for the first time, he meets Jan. It makes him feel jealous.

It only worsened when you appeared on stage. Your black attire makes him go mad. He had never seen you in anything like that. He gets very invested in your scenes. He feels the emotion you are trying to project. Sassy, cheeky and attractive. You succeed to him.

Unfortunely, Jan had to appear too. And Coriolanus has to sigh, dealing with the scene of the man holding you to make you gracefully spin. The music doesn’t help, it holds the sense of you and Jan dancing together. Coriolanus knows dancing has a lot to do with acting. But he doesn’t enjoy the looks of lust and desire between you and your partner. The worst part? He had to seat and watch it for at least fifteen minutes.

His head malfunctions. But he already is telling Tigris he needs to the restroom.

It’s a lie. He goes to the dressing rooms. And his luck was so big that he found the one with the name of Jan. He slowly made his way inside. The place was so old that he didn’t need to check for security or anything, but he wanted to make sure nobody would see him in real time.

He wasn’t sure what he wanted to accomplish, but surely he wanted to get rid of the man who apparently had your attention now. Your mother had said you and Jan worked very well. And now, with him seeing the performance, he was more than sure he couldn’t let it move forward.

His hand went to his pocket, and his eyes widened. He felt the little glass tubes of narcotics. The same he used to kill Casca Highbottom.

He thought about it just for a little. Was it worth it? Getting rid of a man just to have easier access to you.

Maybe.

Then he questioned how bad he wanted you back. Coriolanus had missed you since day one. He knew he would never love anyone else. He knew no one would treat him as you once did.

So he poured the liquid from one of the tubes inside the water flask resting on the vanity. And before leaving, Coriolanus slipped two more tubes inside the bag that contained Jan’s clothes.

“You took very long at the restroom” Tigris tells her cousin when he came back.

“There was a long line”

…

This time, is different. You smile and you can hear the big round of applauses as you make reverence to go off from stage. You were the last one and the curtains came down finally.

Once you are free, you have all the time in the world to breathe. Other dancers and production staff members congratulate you. But it’s Coriolanus Snow the one who makes you frown confused. He was backstage, looking at you with a soft smile. His classic black suit makes you go back and remember about the Reaping ceremony. How happy that day initiated, and how bad it turned out.

“Coriolanus.” You greet him, he can see a tiny smile on your face.

“You were amazing. As usual, of course”

“Thank you. And for the flowers, they were gorgeous. As usual, of course” he’s so surprised that you were talking to him with some humor sense. Both of you laugh and it feels… warm, and natural.

“It’s nothing. But.. perhaps we could just sit together at dinner?” Your cheeks warmth. You think about your confusing feelings, what your father and Clemensia respectively said. Sitting with him once wouldn’t be the end of the world.

“Yeah, we could.” He smiles, and even when his hair changed, his deeper voice. For some seconds you can see the boy you once loved.

And he almost feels like he was seventeen again. Watching you dance backstage, ready to greet you with a kiss. He sees the girl who helped him so much. And he just know all the horrible things he’d done were worth it.

“I-…” but his words stay lingering in the air. Both of you hear a female scream. Coriolanus and you exchange looks before starting to walk where the sound was heard. In the corridor of the dressing rooms you see a woman lingering to an open door. Immediately you recognize it’s Jan’s room. You quickly make it there, through the pain of your caged foot inside the pointe shoe. Coriolanus goes behind you, already sensing the scene inside.

He hears you gasp in shock, covering your mouth and tears forming on your eyes.

You are in shock, you sob, unable to blink.

Jan is on the floor, pale and blood on his mouth. He’s dead.

And as much as the scene shocks you, you are trained to entertain the Capitol, so you turn to them random woman.

“Go and find Millie. Tell her about this and do keep your mouth shut. Nobody can know beside my parents. Understood?” You indicate the woman with a broken voice. She nods in horror dissapearing through the corridor. When she leaves you can finally cry.

When you don’t know what else to do, you are holding onto Coriolanus Snow. You find comfort on his chest. And he immediately holds you back.

As much as you hate to admit it, you feel you are home in his arms.

With one hand, he closes the door of the dressing room and returns to completely be there to hug you. He smiles, knowing he’s already slowly winning.

Because when your parents find out what happened, they make you put a cute black and green velvet gown with crystals. They make you pretend nothing happened and you sit with Coriolanus and Tigris. Ignoring the upcoming rumors, and certainly not respecting the sudden death of Jan.

…

Two days later, Coriolanus finds you seating on a bench. You are eating a sandwich, looking lost. He takes a seat beside you.

“I’m sorry about Jan. It happened so suddenly” he doesn’t feel sorry. Opposite of what he felt about Sejanus and Lucy Gray. However, he firmly believes it was the only way.

“He was a wonderful man. A devoted dancer, with principales. He had a wife in District 3.” Coriolanus coughs. He wasn’t expecting that. That little detail wasn’t on his research. Something twisted inside him, but he still didn’t regret or felt sorry.

“He didn’t seem the type to use narcotics…he must’ve been very stressed out” you add. Oblivious that you are talking with Jan’s murderer.

“Are you sure you are okay?” You roll your eyes sighing.

“No. I’m not okay, Coriolanus. Not since that cursed Reaping ceremony day”

“I’m just trying to be here for you” he admits, and it’s your breaking point.

“WHY DO YOU CARE NOW? YOU FAILED ME WHEN I MOST NEEDED YOU!” He looks around to see if anyone was around. But the place is empty.

“I know I committed many errors but-“

“BUT NOTHING, CORIOLANUS.” You spit out with such anger, that makes him frown.

“You violated the trust, loyalty, respect and love we had for each other. You dissapear after making me have a damn breakdown. Only to go after that girl. And now you appear trying to mend things?” You won’t tell him about his denied petition and what you did. You just want to share all you couldn’t before at his face.

“Do you know how many doctor appointments I’ve had since you left?” He looks down.

“Twelve. And I have to swallow four different pills every day. Only to stay sane. And who’s fault it is? The hunger games, the galas, dancing, Lucy Gray Baird. But specially, you” when he looks up at you again, you are crying.

“If you really want to be here for me, you need to stay away and leave me alone.” You finall state, looking at his blue eyes one last time, before standing from the bench and walking away.

That wasn’t your day. Neither the following ones. Your pointe shoes died and your size was out of stock. The food took such a long time. Your parents left to have an audience in District 1 and your evening was to listen to music and cry.

But certainly what broke you once again was a phone call.

“Hello?” You answer.

“Y/n?”

“Tigris?” You ask. Her voice sounding worried.

“Yes, it’s me.”

“Is everything okay? You sound alarmed, dear” you are able to hear her sighing.

“It’s Grandma’am. She’s sick. Coriolanus is busy at the Univeristy and the doctor I requested hasn’t appeared” your heart beats faster.

“She has a strong fever and it’s been like that for hours.” She adds, finally sounding more worried.

“Tigris, calm down. I’ll call my cousin, he’s one of the most prepared doctors around. I’m going there with you in the meantime” you reassure her, already taking off your nightgown and taking out a dress and coat from your closet.

“Thank you, y/n. I truly appreciate this, thank you.” You hang up after saying everything was going to be okay.

…

You see how changed is the penthouse. Fully renovated, with bright lights that contrasted the dark blue wallpapers. But you find interesting how the olive paint you brought is still there. And your portrait from the day of your eighteen birthday is still with the family pictures.

You wait outside the room of the elder woman, as your cousin is checking Grandma’am. You have to hold the urge from biting your nails. A maid offers you posca, but you can’t think about drinking at the time.

The front doors opens and seconds later, Coriolanus is there. He seems surprised to see you there. Since the day of your argument, he hadn’t see you. He tried calling you but your butler said you were out for the weekend to your grandparents house.

“Y/n?” He asks, dropping his coat on a chair.

“Tigris called me. She wanted a doctor for your grandmother” he worried a bit.

“Is she not feeling better. When I left she seemed better…” he says hurrying to go to her room, but you stop him, grabbing by his forearm.

“Don’t. My cousin is already there with her. I’m waiting for the results” Coriolanus only stares at you. He wants to smile. You came only to help his family once again.

“You look very lovely” you smirk, looking at his window with your arms crossed.

“Really? Your grandmother is sick and you are here saying how lovely I look today?” He smiles.

“You told me to wait. What else can I do?”

“How cynical of you” you respond coldly. After all you told him, he was acting like it never happened.

The door of the room opened and Tigris came out with your cousin.

He revealed Grandma’am was having a little difficulties in her lungs, which made her prone to catch a flu. He gave her some strong medicines and promised it would be fine with some days of resting.

After some minutes, you are also ready to leave.

You say good night to the Snow cousins and leave.

“Y/n. Wait…” Tigris comes out. Stopping you some feet away of the now working elevator.

“I-… Thank you.” She slowly says hugging you.

“It’s nothing, Tigris. I told Coriolanus once I would always help the people I love” Tigris suddenly feels so sad to hear you say that. She really hoped you and her little cousin had a different ending.

“He still loves you so much.” You fight harder against the tears when she says that.

“I know. And I still love him too. But… he never apologized. And I’m not ready to let go my resentment towards him.” You admit looking away.

“Although things did’t work out for you and Coriolanus, I really appreciate and care for you, y/n” se almost whispers in your ear. And your eyes water.

“I feel the same, Tigris. I really do” you reply slowly, controlling your voice to not sound cracked.

“I’ll come back in some days” she nods.

She lets you go and you finally head out. Not noticing that Coriolanus heard everything.

He never apologized.

That night, you are reading on the living room when your butler walks in.

“Coriolanus Snow is asking for you in the telephone” you thank him, walking bare feet towards the kitchen telephone.

“Yes, Mr. Snow?” You ask.

“I just wanted to thank you for coming today. You didn’t have to and yet you appeared here” you sigh.

“Whatever that happened between us has nothing to do with my relationship with Tigris and your mother” now he sighs, from his office, in complete darkness.

“About that y/n…” your hands go numb, and panic floods you.

“You don’t know how much I’m-“

“I know.” You interrupt him, cracked voice and you hang up.

“Sorry” he says through the dead line.

That night, you read his letters. The ones he sent when he was a peacekeeper at the 12. Where he seemed to have projected his more vulnerable and emotional side of his heart. Maybe he had been drunk, maybe Lucy Gray wrote them for him. You’d never know, and you preferred to ignore the idea of him actually feeling sorry.

…

A week later you’re applauding for Grandma’am as she sings for you. You smile, changing her pillow case and complementing how much of a sweet voice she had.

It’s getting late, and you must return to your house.

After wishing Grandma’am sweet dreams, you carefully close her door and you walk with the old pillow case away.

“Are you staying for dinner?” Tigris asks with a sweet smile, taking the pillow case from you. Coriolanus is seated, drinking something as he carefully looks at you. You ignore him.

“I must decline, dear. I have to go back and pack some things” she frowns, stopping to put some plates on the dinning table.

“Pack?”

“Yes. I think I’ll spend the holidays at District 1. My mother is opening a new studio and she’s going to need help. And well, if everything goes right, I might even stay there” Tigris almost drops the pillow case. And Coriolanus almost chokes on his drink.

“What? Why?. What about university? The galas? Your production job for the hunger games” you shrug with an honest smile.

“Lately the Capitol life has... it has been a burden. I want to live a peaceful life. I want to heal” Tigris sends daggers with her eyes to Coriolanus. He coughs, uncomfortable.

“CORIOLANUS!” Grandma’am calls the man, you only sigh. And slowly, he stands up to to the woman. He hears you keep talking with Tigris. And he wants to do something to stop you from leaving. Now he can give you the life he couldn’t before.

“Is everything alright, Grandma’am?” The elder woman looks at him from her bed.

“Are you really letting that young woman to walk away again?” Coriolanus frowns.

“What?”

“You’ve heard me.” Even in her sick days, she was firm.

“She doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore” Grandma’am shrugs.

“I don’t think so. Her eyes shine sadly at every mention of you. She was part of the family after all.” Coriolanus remains quiet. But he admits to himself that’s what he missed the most.

“I think she always waited for an apology. One that never came.” His heart pounds very fast. He tried, and you hung up.

“What do you suggest me to do?” Grandma’am smiles, coughing tiredly.

“You run to wherever she goes and beg on your knees. One time you show her vulnerability and you’ll never do it again. We, women, only want real love, stupid love. You show her that stupid love once and you can silently do it for the rest of your again”

“You already won the money and respect. You’re just missing out the girl” Coriolanus sweats, but when he turns to look at her grandmother again, she nods, reassuring him.

“Go. Get her back, Coriolanus” without saying anything back, he leaves.

When he enters the dinning room, he only sees two plates of food. He looks at Tigris confused.

“Where’s y/n?” She shrugs, taking a seat.

“She just left.”

Coriolanus runs. He actually runs out of his penthouse and when the elevator starts taking to much time, he decided to choose the stairs as his getaway. He feels sweaty and agitated, but as he goes down, he can’t help but feel slightly happy, the adrenaline of making it on time make him hurry.

“Y/N!” He yells your name once he makes it to the lobby, where he can see you turning back to see him.

You are waiting for Trevor when he appears running towards you.

And before you can even blink or breathe, he gets on his knees.

“Coriolanus Snow. What are you doing?” You ask confused and blushed.

“I’m sorry.” He says.

“I’m sorry about all the stupid things I did. I’m sorry about letting you down. I’m sorry for ruining our relationship. For letting you in that hospital bed and return to do everyhting but apologize to you” you look at him perplexed, not believing his words.

“I can’t lose you again. Because I know you’re the last and only person I’ll love. I won’t trust anyone else. And nobody would have ever looked down at me like you did when I had nothing” you sigh, feeling the tears coming again. You know he’s not lying. You knew him so well that you sense it.

“If you let me. To give me another chance, I’ll do things right. I will never fail you again in life. You’ll be the only person I’ll cherish and show love.” He offers you his hand, and he looks very suppliant.

You blink quickly to soothe the tears. And you know he doesnt deserve you. But aren’t the best person, so maybe you two were actually meant to be together.and that’s the only viable reason to why you want to let your heart freely beat for him again.

“Please don’t go, y/n” he whispers, waiting for your answer. You sigh, slowly and shaking, but you end up taking his hand.

“You’ll better be the most perfect lover of the history of Panem, then” he wraps your fingers together, and stands up.

“I promise, I swear” he knows the memory of Lucy Gray would always follow him. As well of all the deaths he had caused. But nothing compared to the joy of him kissing you again.

Your lips welcome him in the most sweet way. And he finds himself smiling through the kiss, gently holding you closer to him.

It’s in the start of the Road of Hope in the Capitol where Coriolanus Snow had his fully owned penthouse. Where he had nothing, and now had won everything.

…

Time flies, things had changed, probably for the better. You made Coriolanus keep fighting for a good and healthy relationship. Slowly, he made you completely fall in love again. And although there was certain spark missing, you knew it would never come back. However, you had also accepted that both of you had grown up.

The late talks were mature now. Talking about the future of Panem, planning dinners together. The kisses were more passionate, unlike the softness that was all over your early relationship. The sex was harder rather than slow and sweet like the beginning. Coriolanus would like to leave many hickeys scattered across your body, make a wet mess of saliva and fluids. He loved feelings your almond nails leave gentle scratches across his pale back.

But certainly, the biggest change was the way you two were handling a life together.

After turning twenty, you got married. Soon Coriolanus bought the house he always wished to give you. The one with black and white tiles floor, beige walls and big stairs.

By the first week in, he had done many refurbishments and he had fucked you in every room, every corner and every surface of the house.

Till the day you turned twenty-two. By that time, you had almost ditched your dancing career. Sometimes you still had some chances to perform on galas. But Coriolanus convinced you to focus on public services and the production of the hunger games. Dr. Gaul had officially retired, and it was going to be the first year of Coriolanus as a game maker. Things had really changed.

But everything seemed fine.

“Dear, Are you ready?” You turn to look at your husband, who waits on the frame of the door.

“Just one moment” you run to slip into your silver heels before grabbing your purse.

Trevor kept his job as your chauffeur and Millie was now your private secretary. Sometimes you hated how formal your life had become. Especially now that Coriolanus had some plans in mind.

As soon as you arrive to the fancy patio from a million-dollar man house, many women eye you and Coriolanus.

“Remind me what are we doing here?” You ask him. He holds your hand tightly, smiling at many of the invited people.

“I’m assuming the role of game maker. You are giving a speech about the improvements for the 14th Hunger Games, my dear” you nod, clutching onto his cold hand harder. Both of you were kind of the sensation around the Capitol. You know how they whisper about your dress and your husband’s physic.

“You’re going to be fine. You always choose the right words. And your voice can charm anyone here” he whispers on your ear, pressing a soft kiss on your temple.

“Thank goddess I’ve been studying the constitution. Or else these men would bury me” Coriolanus laughs. Soon you enter the actual event. With long white tables, candles and everyone dressed either on red or black.

“Men around here don’t know how smart my wife is” he says shrugging, remembering how many honors you received from university. Some of the wives ask you to join them. You wave hello to them before leaning to your man.

“Do not make me jealous or leave me alone during the speech.” You firmly say to him.

“Of course not, my love”

“Love you.” And with one last kiss, you walk away.

For the rest of the night. You feel uneasy. Because you succeeded with the speech. But once you read the part from Coriolanus, you are at the verge of babbling.

He shared some of his initial proposals for the games. Like lowering the age of the tributes, increasing the obstacles in the arena, using more mutts, allowing weapons, and making the interviews with Lucky Flickerman longer.

It had been a long time since you think about the games so much. But that guilt you felt after seeing Coriolanus as mentor, never left. And after that dinner, everyone claps for your husband and you, after being considered as the couple of the next generation for Panem.

In the privacy of your new home, you constantly zone out to think about it. You can’t ask Coriolanus to stop the games, but he could make some changes.

You knock swiftly on his door.

“Come in.” You walk in and he drops the papers he was signing to smile at the sight of you.

“Hello, you.” he says cheekily.

“Hello, you’.” You reply. He indicates you to seat on his lap and you do so. His arms lock around you, hands resting on your back.

“Are you coming to bed anytime soon?” You ask.

“I just need to sign some things, darling” he watches you frown, and he won’t say you look older, because you don’t. But you certainly look wiser, mature and more like a woman rather than a girl.

“I’ve been thinking about the games” He’s all ears now. He knows you had some specific opinions. You had said in your first interview how brutal the games were.

“What about them?”

“I would never ask you to stop the games. But…” you stop, suddenly feeling a little nervous.

“But what, my dear?”

“Don’t you think those tributes are humans? Yes, the Districts deserve to be reminded of the consequences of their acts. But most of the tributes are kids. Who don’t even understand everything that conveys a war.” Coriolanus sighs, trying to choose the correct words to answer you.

“What are you suggesting?” He tries to sound calm, but the mere subject makes him a little irritated.

“I don’t know… Maybe giving them more opportunities?” He giggles, caressing the skin on your hips.

“Giving them opportunities means going soft on them. And going soft on them could trigger a new rebellion” this time you sigh, trying to persuade him by brushing his hair, softly grasping his chin.

“Not like that, Coryo. I mean… raising the majority age of the tributes. Giving them at least the chance to train. To eat a proper meal on the last night. To show who they are one last time before they’re sent to die” Coriolanus would always believe that you’re only one weakness was your humanity. How you always turned to see down on others, feeling guilty from being born with all the commodities.

So, he tries to ignore it. He tries to see your suggestions as a way to punish the tributes harder. Give them everything to then killing them.

So, he smiles, urging you to kiss him. You reply immediately, holding him closer to feel the heated proximity.

“I could arrange some changes. Would that make you feel better?” You nod on his lips, smiling.

“Now let me finish this before meeting you in bed. And I expect you have this thing off before I get there” he says grabbing your nightgown. You laugh with a potent blush, gently pushing him away.

“Don’t be silly.”

“I’m not being silly. In two days, we start the tour, we will be very tired to make love daily as we do now” you roll your eyes, almost running away ad your husband laughs, making fun of your embarrassment.

“This is madness. I’m going to bed” you say getting out of his office.

“Don’t forget about what I said!” He yells, making you smile in love as you leave upstairs, wishing good night to the maids and butler. For the record, you do not forget about your husband’s petition.

…

The best part of the house is the rooftop in your opinion. A terrace with cristal walls and ceilings that had a gorgeous view of the Capitol. A view that included some monuments and the snowy mountains surrounding the city.

You had a little bar there, an eccentric dining table and some couches with colorful cushions.

Grandma’am made you take some of his roses so you could start your own garden. That brought tears to your eyes. But now, it was only you and Tigris there.

You asked the chef to make some vegetables and creams as your sister-in-law arrived for dinner. Coriolanus and you were set to leave the next morning for his political campaign tour.

“Have you packed everything?” Tigris asks.

“Yes. I wish I could take Trevor with me. But only Millie will be able to come” you say smiling. Tigris notices how you constantly look at the door, hoping to see Coriolanus entering.

“Have you told him?” You shake your head at the woman.

“Not yet. Probably by the time we arrive District 4. We have good memories from there” Tigris smiles. She was really excited when you got back together with Coriolanus. She even made your wedding dress. And now she was so proud of the career you two were making.

“Sorry for the delay. I was arguing with some incompetent who cancelled the delivery of our new chandeliers” Tigris rolls her eyes as your husband cheekily smiles.

“Dinner isn’t ready yet, anyways” you say patting his back as he takes a seat beside you.

“You shouldn’t be stressing over the tour. Your dear wife must’ve prepared the most wonderful speeches for you to say” Coriolanus smiles, turning to give you a peck on the nose, making you laugh.

“It’s not that, Tigris. It’s the time that’s freaking me out. I don’t want to be gone for almost two months.” You sigh, trying to keep everything together. You just pray that the tour goes smoothly.

“Each district will host you with all commodities” it’s a lie. Coriolanus isn’t ready to go to District 12 again. Where his father died, where he committed the worst decisions of his early life. He knows those days will be a little sour. But he’s willing to play pretend very well for you.

“It’s going to be fine. Pardon me, dear” Coriolanus says after seeing your face of over thinking. His wife is so smart that she’s probably wondering the same as him. And that’s the least he needs of.

You take his hand, before hearing the food has arrived. The air changes, the dinner flows happily as you talk and gossip with Tigris and your husband. It’s a great dinner actually.

Maybe he broke your heart when you were teenagers. But you delayed his political campaign for four years. Maybe he had looked too much at Lucy Gray Baird, but at the end it would only be you.

You could’ve done better to get rid of that guilt for participating in the hunger games, but you just realize that maybe you didn’t because you are not a good person either.

Even so, every morning, you wake up in his arms as he fulfilled his promise of never failing you again.

You just hope that the tour, the upcoming games and everything else doesn’t get into your way. Nothing can be a recoil. Not when Coriolanus Snow’s first child rests peacefully in your womb.

The future was uncertain. But your past and present along him always seemed like… a hatred road.

_____________________________________________

fyi, in my head, if reader hadn’t delayed Coriolanus political emergence, the second rebellion would’ve started earlier and probably it wouldn’t have been successful. (Basically it would’ve been like a second time “dark days” situation and then back to reconstruction again)

Taglist: @dear-bunnyboo @daydreamerprocrastinator @lecrercsgirlshhs @athanasia-day @devils-blackrose @reader-bookling123 @cookielovesbook-akie @justacaliforniandreamer @m1ndbrand @blairfox04 @darktrashsoulbear @fartybobabutt @diannana @iwantosleep @sarysuniverse @unclecrunkle @f1-futurewag-16-3-4-63 @didneyworld13 @imguce @angelscrime @impeterporker @lem122 @cryaka @ietss @michelleisheres-blog @capsiclesworldsblog @circe143

[mauvecherie-writes]

destinado al deseo: l.hamilton | series

ru’s 💌: Now those closest to me know I’ve been sitting on this since January without devulging too much information because I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to post it because I’ve been in my academic era. As my year is beginning to wrap up and I’m left with more time on my hands, I feel like this is the perfect time to finally share this with you guys! I’m so excited ahhh! I hope you love it as much as I love writing this 🩷

status: ongoing [coming soon]

tropes and tags: NSFW 18+, MDNI, acquaintances to lovers, billionaire romance, BDSM slow burn, Dom/Sub dynamic, angst, mentions of child neglect, narcissistic and enabling parents, sibling rivalry, explicit sexual scenes. [CHAPTERS WILL HAVE SPECIFIC TAGS/WARNINGS]

DISCLAIMER: this story is a piece of pure fiction. outside of the likeness to Lewis Hamilton’s physical appearance and certain aspects of his professional career and business - EVERYTHING HERE IS FAKE.

destinado al deseo : destined for desire.

Nothing on the London Real Estate market moved without Soleil Beverly knowing about it. She built her empire from the ground up and climbing up the property ladder until she was at the top.

Maintaining her throne with what feels like the weight of the world on her shoulders was too much to bear but she did it. And she did it well.

Which left her with no time for anything else …

Especially intimate relationships.

Hence why, everyone from her parents to her close friends trying to set her up with every man of the upper echelon. Date after date, she shut them down - giving every reason under the sun as to why she can’t give them a chance after the first date.

Fed up and promising her best friend one more date (which goes horribly as expected), Soleil ends up being saved by someone she never expected. Even more so, she wasn’t prepared for the unpredictable journey that night would spark ..

Soleil: [ s oh - l AI ]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒:

0.

reading list: @queenshikongo3 @dhlfastestlap @saintslewis @serpenttines-library @saturnville @hopefulromantic1 @cocobutterqwueen @bluesole16 @melodichaeuxx-lacritquexx @sapphireheaven @olyvoyl @lewisroscoelove @lh44adore @hellomadamebutterfly @scorpiobleue @qveenmelanink @tremendousstarlighttragedy @bekindbecoolbeyou @greedyjudge2 @itsapurrfectstorm @createdbylivingclocks @samiwzx @omgsuperstarg @peyiswriting @miyuhpapayuh @blowmymbackout @purplelewlew @henneseyhoe @perfecttrashface @alianovnaromanovanatalia @leilaxaliel @sageispunk @2serenity0 @gemii-n-tay @aluapla

[chenlesfavorite]

you will never be forgotten, my dearest. park jisung.

— summary : jisung is an artist who got kicked out by his family due to him not wanting to follow his family and become a doctor. it just wasn’t what he wanted. he wished to tell stories with his paintings, though that changed once he fell in love with you.

— pairing : artist!jisung x fem!reader

— genres : romance, angst

— extra : regency era, death, illness, marriage

— author’s note : one of my friends suggested this artist idea to me and i was like… “yes” (ty maggi) so! here we are! if there’s any mistakes, please lmk so i can fix them!!

— word count : 2.0k

reminder that this is pure fiction and not an actual depiction of how they act.

“Jisung, you shall never succeed if you continue as an artist. Do you not realize how bad this is? Our great family name of doctors will be ruined, because of you.” Jisung’s mother’s voice was faint as she spoke to her eldest son, her expression carried a worry.

“I’m very aware, mother. But this is the path I wish to choose. It is my passion, to tell many tales with my art.” Jisung replied as he stood in the hall, a deep sigh escaping his lips as he looked at his parents, knowing this would be the last time he would ever see them.

“Very well, Jisung. From now on, you are no longer part of this family. Survive out there in the best way you know how to.” Jisung’s father spoke harsh words, ones without any sorrow in them. No sorrow that he was losing his eldest son. The son he was always proud of growing up, sharing with everyone that he will one day, become a great doctor.

Though, that wasn’t what ended up happening. Jisung fell in love with art, and art is what he desired to do, he would do it until he couldn’t no more, until the end of time. Art was the most beautiful thing to him.

A beauty nobody understood. A complex beauty that only he understood. He wished people could see art the way he saw it. The stories they told— the emotions they were expressing.

Nobody understood.

Until he met you.

One year has passed since he was disowned by his family. However, his passion for art never died, he was praised, admired by others. Even earning the respect of well-established artists whom he has long admired.

He was marking his presence in society, leaving behind a legacy of his artworks. His pieces were already beginning to inspire the younger generation, motivating them to achieve the same greatness as Jisung.

Due to his impact on society, he was invited to a ball, hosted by the L/N family. The L/N family carried a high name, one that was highly respected, people lowered their heads even at the most distant sight of the family. Nobody would dare to turn down an invitation from them or even utter the words no.

Jisung was hesitant to accept the invitation, but alas, he eventually found himself standing at the entrance of the L/N family estate, a grand manor that oozed of an important presence.

As he stepped inside— he was greeted by the grand chandelier above which was casting a soft, golden glow over the room, his footsteps echoed on the smooth marble floor. The air carried a hint of a jasmine smell.

“Welcome to the L/N manor.” A woman’s voice was heard— Jisung stopped his glancing of the entrance and looked to where the source of the voice came from and once his eyes found the voice, he was starstruck.

The only daughter of the L/N family— Y/N.

He was deeply captivated by your beauty. The way you shone in the light and carried yourself with grace charmed him. He felt truly enchanted. From that initial meeting, he knew you as his muse.

Upon the arrival of all the guests, the ball commenced. You were quite a popular pick for dances throughout the evening— you finished one dance with a potential suitor only to return to the ballroom floor with another partner almost instantly.

Jisung, being the wallflower that he is, took notice of your every move. His eyes were unable to stop following you, to him, you were the piece that he was missing. That his art was missing.

The way every step you took was with the utmost elegance, your polite demeanor adding to your grace. Why, Jisung was absolutely mesmerized by you. You were the most gorgeous thing he had ever seen. You reminded him of flowers, blooming in the spring. Like beautiful forget-me-nots or azaleas.

As the violinists slowed down their playing and the music began to fade, Jisung knew what to do next. He approached you and extended his hand, asking, "May I have this dance, Lady L/N?"

“Yes, you may.”

Though, you aren’t exactly sure how you and Jisung ended up in the gardens of your manor right after the dance. Perhaps it was the way he led you throughout the dance, his elegant moves, and the way his hand held onto yours. Your hands fit perfectly together as if they were carefully sculpted for the other.

It wasn’t exactly ladylike to lay on the grass while in a ballgown but you’re alone with Jisung, who had no intention of judging you or calling you out for it, as he does not mind it anyway.

You didn’t understand why you felt so connected to him despite you meeting only today. Only hours ago. But he felt so familiar like you’ve known him for years. Perhaps this was the work of fate? Was this a fated meeting? You didn't know but you sure hoped it was because you weren’t able to get him out of your mind.

“You look quite out of it, do you have something on your mind?” Jisung spoke in a soft tone, turning his attention from the stars above to you, letting his gaze fall onto you. “Guess you could say that. You... don’t feel like a stranger to me at all, Jisung, it feels as if I’ve known you for years. Does that make sense?” You replied, turning your head to face him.

Jisung chuckled, placing his hand on your cheek. “Mhm, ‘course it does. I feel the same, Lady L/N.” You giggled, a twinge of blush creeping up on your face. “Please, just call me Y/N.”

“As you wish, Y/N.” He whispered, taking back his hand that was resting on your cheek. The two of you return your attention to the stars above you. You sat up once you noticed a specific alignment of stars— you pointed to that constellation. “Look, Ji! It’s the Lyra constellation. The constellation that tells the story of Orpheus and Eurydice!” You exclaimed, your lips forming into a smile.

As Jisung gazed up at the night sky, he noticed the constellation glimmering above. But, his attention quickly shifted to the bright smile on your face. Your smile had a magical quality that seemed to make his heart skip a beat. “Orpheus and Eurydice? What’s their story, I’m intrigued.” Jisung asked, sitting up.

“Orpheus was the son of the muse Calliope and the god Apollo, he was very skilled in playing the Lyre, he could enchant any wild beasts and even the rocks would soften to the melodies he played. But once his wife, Eurydice died, he was overwhelmed by grief. A grief so strong that he went on a journey to the Underworld, convincing Hades and Persephone to allow Eurydice to return to the world of the living. But they set a challenge for him, Orpheus must not look back at Eurydice until they have both reached the world above. As you can guess, Orpheus surrenders to doubt and casts a backward glance, losing Eurydice forever. It’s rather tragic.” You explained the full story to Jisung, who carefully listened to every single one of your words.

“Ouch, I can’t imagine what Orpheus went through because he lost the love of his life.” Jisung replied, his voice lowered.

From that meeting at the ball, you and Jisung continued to have regular promenades or you’d watch him paint new artworks. You loved it when he explained to you why he painted that or why he added that specific detail to the work. It wasn’t long before Jisung started to court you— he earned the approval of your father rather quickly.

And one day, he showed you an artwork that he worked on for a long time. It was a portrait, of you. You were stunned once he showed you it, your hands slapped to your mouth as you looked at it. He got every single detail of yours down, the art piece looked exactly like you. The work he put into it was astonishing. He captured your beauty perfectly.

“Ji, it’s... wow, I don’t even have the words to explain how beautiful it is.” You said, your eyes getting watery. “This is the most special thing anyone has ever done for me.” You couldn’t hold yourself back as you hugged him tightly and brought your lips up to his, exchanging a short but sweet kiss.

"I have one more gift for you, Y/N," Jisung said with a warm smile, causing you to slowly release the embrace. You were both confused and curious about what more he had planned, to you, that portrait was more than enough.

To your surprise— Jisung got down on one knee, took out a box, and held it up towards you, opening it to reveal a dazzling ring. “My dearest, I truly believe our meeting was fate, that the stars aligned us and we were made for each other. You have made me enjoy my life more than ever, so now I ask of you, will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?”

That’s when the tears started to roll down your cheeks, but they weren’t tears of sadness, they were tears of happiness. “Yes! A thousand times yes, Jisung!” He got up from the ground and gently took your hand, sliding the ring on your finger.

"I love you, so, so much," Jisung whispered as he gently cupped your cheeks, drawing you closer to him. His lips met yours, and the kiss was filled with nothing more than the pure love the two of you share for one another, your hearts bound together.

But, the wedding never happened.

Just two weeks after you got engaged to Jisung, you caught an illness. Your fate was sealed. Death was at your doorstep.

You were bedridden, unable to do anything. You couldn’t get up and you could barely speak, half of the time you weren’t even conscious but you were asleep. Jisung was by your side the entire time, praying to whatever deity he could to heal his soon-to-be wife.

He knew you could barely speak so he didn’t wish to hurt your voice by making you talk to him, instead, he wrote letters to you. Each one of them described what he did today or how the day was, even asking you questions in the letters— if you’re feeling better, what you dreamed about, etc.

However, one letter specifically made your heart burn. It read,

“Y/N, my dearest. How are you feeling? The doctor said your body is slowly recovering and perhaps there’s hope that you’ll be well again. Hearing those words come from the doctor made me so unbelievably happy, I can’t wait to stargaze with you again, water the flowers with you, and do all the stuff that you like that you haven’t been able to do because of your illness. I sincerely hope you recover before our wedding that’s in just a week! I can’t wait to see you in a beautiful white gown, walking down the aisle, looking stunning. I will never forget that day, believe me. I’m going to cherish every second I have with you. Just imagining that day makes me so excited. Well, I won’t bore you any longer, rest well, my dearest.”

And rest well, you indeed did.

“It’s done.” Jisung says, as he brushes the final stroke of the painting. A sad smile on his face as he admires it. “You’re still painting her?” His friend, Jeno, speaks up, standing behind Jisung with his arms crossed.

“Shouldn’t you move on, Jisung? She’s with the angels up in heaven now, not here anymore.” Jeno carries on, placing a hand on Jisung’s shoulder as he stares at the painting of you. It’s been years since you died, but Jisung’s love for you did not die.

He still captured every single detail of you in his paintings, each one of the paintings including a small hint of a thing you liked. In this painting, he painted you in a beautiful white wedding gown, walking down the aisle with your favorite flowers in your hand— and with your smile that made him fall in love so deeply with you. That bright smile you always carried.

“As long as I’m alive, she’ll never be gone.”

After all, when an artist falls in love with you, you never die.

[mononijikayu]

chapter (3) — omg

GENRE: alternate universe - actors/celeb au!

WARNING/S: not safe for work (nsfw), r-18 and above, actors/singers au!, romance, fluff, minor angst, slow burn, humour, slice of life, will they won't they, light-hearted, flirting, playful, possessiveness, teasing, explicit content, possible, kissing, sexual content, innuendos, drama, feels, hurt/comfort, falling in love, love, happy ending, actor/singer! sukuna, actress/celeb! reader;

WORD COUNT: 3.3k words.

NOTE: i really think that if this were to happen irl, everyone would just really really lose their minds like??? genuinely. i really think that people would be entertained and also not. these are the in between of the kinktober event, which starts october 4th (6 pm pst, 9 am for ph time and 4 pm uk time) - the first one is also a sukuna one too!!! please enjoy them as they come out!!! thank you for your continued love!!! i love you all <3

TAGLIST: @kunasthiast, @midnight-138, @v3nd3ttal3on, @r0ckst4rjk, @theshxaverse, @cheescakebroom, @kariatenoh ;

masterlist

hey lover! series

IT WAS THAT SIX MONTH PERIOD THAT STUNNED THE WORLD. The internet was already on the verge of a meltdown the day it was announced that you and Sukuna were going to star opposite of each other in a new romantic drama film.

The plot? A searing, emotionally intense story about a husband and wife’s failing marriage. That alone was enough to send fans into a frenzy. The idea of you two, already known for your incredible chemistry, playing lovers on the brink of collapse was the stuff of internet gold.

Speculation ran wild for months. There were endless fan theories about how much tension would be in the movie, the inevitable blow-out arguments, and the long, charged stares across dimly lit rooms.

But the moment the real rumor started spreading—that the on-screen couple would have a full-blown romance scene—it was like gasoline was thrown on the fire.

Twitter threads were filled with fans practically holding their breath, trying to figure out if this was just clickbait or if the movie would actually go there. For weeks, fans analyzed trailers and snippets of scenes, slowing down moments to see if they could spot any clues.

There was talk of “the tension is unreal” or “there’s NO WAY they’ll pull off that scene without killing us all”. But despite the rampant speculation, nothing could have prepared them for what came next.

Then, the movie premiered. And that’s when everything exploded.

One fan was the first to drop the bombshell:

SukusukuOne Tweet: “WAIT. WHAT? A SEX SCENE BETWEEN THEM?!?!”

That single tweet ignited a wildfire across every social media platform. It took only minutes before reactions flooded in from every corner of the internet. It was as if the world collectively gasped and lost its ability to function.

Fans who had managed to watch the early screenings immediately went into panic mode, sending everyone else into spirals of anticipation.

Y/N’sWorldHQ: “I KNEW IT. I FREAKING KNEW IT BUT I WASN’T READY. NOT LIKE THIS.” 

SukuY/NHQ: “BESTIES, THIS IS NOT A DRILL. THIS IS SO FUCKING REAL!!!

Y/N-Rin: We asked for tension and got THIS. I CAN’T BREATHE.” 

SukunaSource: “Forget the plot—I need a minute to process what I just saw. That scene? UNREAL.” 

Y/N–SUKUONE “Y’all. It’s not just a scene. It’s THE scene. They went THERE and I’m not okay.”

For Y/N:  "I WAS NOT READY FOR THIS. SOMEONE HOLD ME." 

Suku–king: “SUKUNA. SEX SCENE. I REPEAT: SUKUNA. SEX SCENE. WITH Y/N?!? breathes into a paper bag" 

Y/N–Hiromi: "Oh, y’all are just gonna drop this bomb and leave us to SCREAM?" 

Pop Star Kuna: "No, because how am I supposed to sit through that scene like a normal person? I’ll be watching through my fingers." 

Y/N Movie Era: "WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS OKAY TO GIVE US THIS LEVEL OF ENERGY IN A MOVIE?!? MY WIG IS IN ANOTHER GALAXY.”

GIFs of you and Sukuna in slow, sultry close-ups began circulating within minutes. The intensity, the way the scene built from raw emotion to passionate release, left fans utterly destroyed.

People were making reaction videos, pausing the exact second the scene got too hot to handle and screaming at their screens. Thirst tweets, memes, and GIFs of fans collapsing on their couches like they’d just run a marathon became the norm.

HiroKuna: “I’M YELLING. THEY REALLY DID THAT. NO ONE TOLD ME I NEEDED OXYGEN.” 

KukuNa7: “I knew it would be good, but I didn’t think it would be THIS. I feel like I need a cigarette and I don’t even smoke.” 

Hiromimimi: “The way they LOOK at each other?! The rawness of it all?! This scene is pure FIRE.”

As if the internet wasn’t on fire enough, you and Sukuna decided to fuel the flames even further. You hopped on Twitter, casually posting a behind-the-scenes video of the two of you messing around in between takes.

In the shot, Sukuna was leaning back on the bed, one arm draped over his eyes, mid-laugh, while you sat there making faces at the as you got your retouching make up done. You tell him to stop, but you just both kept laughing and got scolded by the make up artist. Sukuna then calls you beautiful, and you blush.

Y/NTheOne: “When the ‘passionate scene’ turns into a blooper reel. 😂 No one tells you how hard it is to keep a straight face. #BTS #MovieMagic”

The reaction? Absolute chaos. Fans didn’t know whether to scream, cry, or laugh.

sukurin: “They’re just gonna post this like it’s no big deal??? WDYM SUKUNA CALLS HER BEAUTIFUL AND SHE JUST BLUSHES??? BRO???” 

y/n’s princess: “OKAY BUT I LOVE HOW CASUAL THEY ARE ABOUT THIS. HELP.” 

sukuy/n’s love child: “I’M NEVER GETTING OVER THIS. NEVER.”

kunatuna: “The fact that they’re laughing like this in between scenes, and we’re out here struggling to breathe??”

Not to be outdone, Sukuna joined in on the fun a few hours later by posting his own video on his Instagram story. The clip showed you two rehearsing the confrontation scene between the spouses and you were screaming at the top of your lungs before he made a face and you immediately break, falling into his arms and suddenly laughing as hard as humanly possible. Sukuna wrapped his arms around you too, hugging you back.

ItsRyoSuku: “Professional actors, by the way. 😂 #HappyTogether”

Cue more pandemonium:

JJK (Taylor’s Version): “NOT THEM POSTING BTS FOOTAGE LIKE THIS. STOPPPP.” 

kukuna1989: “I can’t breathe. How are they this funny and attractive at the same time???”

y/n on the ring: “This video is sending me. They’re out here clowning and we’re suffering.” 

y/nkunaaaaaahhhhhhhh: “I’m trying to focus on their acting, but instead I’m watching them roast themselves. THIS IS GOLD.”

kukukufukukukuku: WHAT DO YOU MEAN HAPPY TOGETHER??? RYOMEN SUKUNA????

Fan TikToks:

Y/N–Na–Na–Na: (in a shaky voice) “So, I just watched the scene… and honestly, I don’t think I’m okay. No spoilers, but if you think you can handle it—YOU CAN’T.” Cue someone throwing a pillow at the camera.

SukuPop: "There’s thirst traps, and then there’s THIS MOVIE. HOW DID WE GET HERE?"

And as if that wasn’t enough, a massive fan thread started trending on Twitter titled:

"Are They Dating or Just TOO Good at Acting?"

Enter you and Sukuna again, ready to add more and more fuel to the fire.

You once more jumped on the bandwagon with another cheeky Twitter post, sharing a behind-the-scenes photo of you both between takes. This was the alternative extension that was cut from the film — one which the director really liked. But it just didn’t make the final editing cut.

Still, the shot was perfect:  Ryomen Sukuna, half-dressed from the scene, lying on the bed resting his head against your shoulder, laughing about something you said. You? Half covered in the blankets. You were looking down at him, also laughing as you were in the middle of speaking, holding onto a pillow for dear life, your hair tousled from filming.

Y/NTheOne: “Sukuna tried to hold it for this shot. But I wished this made it too! 😂 #BTS #MovieMagic"

The internet? Instantly set ablaze. ONCE AGAIN.

HiromiRyomenCentral: "OKAY BUT YOU CAN’T JUST DROP THIS AND NOT GIVE US MORE!" 

KingofCursesStan: "They’re out here laughing, and I’m out here crying. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE."

Y/NStan: "Not them acting all cute and casual when we’re out here clutching our pearls. I CAN’T."

Then, of course, Ryomen Sukuna couldn’t lose here—of course, in classic Sukuna fashion. 

He posted a behind-the-scenes video on Instagram of you both rehearsing the scene. But instead of being sexy and intense, it was pure comedy. The two of you were dramatically exaggerating every move, making ridiculous faces at each other. 

You were both exhausted, but you both wanted to wake each other up. So, it came to this — both of you losing your minds to make everything as funny as possible. At one point, Sukuna dramatically threw himself back on the bed, rolling his eyes in a mock-swoon while you burst into giggles so uncontrollable that you doubled over.

ItsRyoSuku: “Multiverse of Madness 😂 #ItsAComedyActually"

Fans were once more  losing their minds in the comments:

RyoHQ: “NOT SUKUNA TURNING THIS INTO A COMEDY SKETCH?! I CAN’T BREATHE.” 

SukuRy: "I’m gonna need 48 hours to recover from the whiplash between the actual scene and THIS." 

SukuStar: "Please tell me the DVD has a blooper reel. I BEG YOU." 

StarStarKuna: "Y’all are just CLOWNING at this point, meanwhile I’m struggling to form a coherent thought after seeing that scene.”

The memes were iconic. Some were based on popular crying reaction GIFs, while others used dramatic slow-motion moments to parody the sheer intensity of the scene. One particularly viral meme had Sukuna’s character looking down at you in the scene with the caption: “When your favorite ship finally goes canon and it’s STEAMY AF.”

Soon, clips from the movie were being re-edited with dramatic soundtracks, making the moment between your characters feel even more cinematic, even more romantic. Someone even edited the entire scene to Celine Dion’s “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now”, and the internet practically screamed.

You and Sukuna couldn’t help but keep the fun going. A few hours later, you responded to one of the fan edits with a quote-tweet, saying:

Y/NTheOne: “Honestly, this edit is better than the actual movie. 😆”

Sukuna, naturally, followed up with a comment that sent everyone into a tailspin:

ItsRyoSuku: “Still waiting on our Grammy for ‘Best Chemistry On-Screen.’ 😏”

The internet was absolutely living for it. Fans were quick to point out every tiny behind-the-scenes moment, analyzing the body language, the laughter, and of course, the constant playful teasing between you two. Some fans even swore up and down that they knew you two had undeniable off-screen chemistry, and this was just proof.

MimiHiro67 Posted: "Look at the way he looks at her like that. I’m telling you, IT’S NOT JUST ACTING." 

Kuku/Y/N Replied: "The flirting during the bloopers?? HELLO?! WE’RE SEEING IT." 

HiroKunaFT Replied: "They’re out here, trolling us, but I KNOW they’re secretly dating. THEY HAVE TO BE."

Before you knew it, fan art, memes, and theories flooded every corner of the internet. There were edits of you and Sukuna as modern-day star-crossed lovers, wedding fanfics, and even whole video compilations of you two joking and messing around during interviews.

But perhaps the most hilarious reaction came from one particular fan who summed it up perfectly in a single tweet:

Y/NKunaSource: “Let’s be real. We’re all just happy to live in a world where they exist and can mess with us like this. Bless.”

By the end of the week, the internet was a beautiful mix of chaos, laughter, and way too many thirst traps inspired by that one scene. You and Sukuna continued to play along with the fans, leaning into the fun and teasing just enough to keep everyone guessing—and loving every second of it.

The chaos continued to escalate in the following days, with the internet running wild over every new detail, theory, and behind-the-scenes snippet about the two of you and your relationship. Fans were relentless, and you and Sukuna? You weren’t about to let things calm down just yet. If anything, you leaned into the frenzy, becoming the ultimate internet trolls.

It started innocently enough. You posted a cute boomerang of the two of you at a cast dinner, clinking glasses and flashing cheeky grins at the camera. You looked stunning resting against Sukuna’s chair. Harmless, right? Not according to the fanbase.

Y/NTheOne: “Cheers to being the internet’s favorite scandal 😜🍸#StillNotDating #OrAreWe?”

That was enough to send your followers spiraling into madness again. Fans combed through the boomerang as if it held secret, hidden messages. Someone even analyzed Sukuna’s scarlet eye contact in slow motion, trying to decipher what it all meant.

Sukuna’sHuh!?: “THE CHEMISTRY. I CAN’T. They’re definitely dating.” 

YoHiroKuna: “Every time they say they’re ‘not dating,’ I lose five years off my life from the lies. 😂” 

Kukukukuna: “Why are they like this?! Just admit it already!”

Veteran Actor Ryomen Sukuna, never one to miss out on the fun, upped the ante. He soon after posted a selfie of the two of you on set, both of you in full costume, right before filming a scene. The twist? You were sitting in his lap, giggling as he gave the camera a devilish smirk. The caption?

ItsRyoSuku: “Just another day at work with my favorite co-star, my baby doll  👀 #WeLiveForMethodActing #OrDoWe"

The comment section exploded:

SukuDw: "EXCUSE ME, SIR??? SITTING IN HIS LAP?!?" 

Y/N’sbabygirl: “Method acting? Is that what we’re calling this now?? LMAO” 

RyoRyoYoBoat: "My mind can’t handle this level of chaos. 😳"

Then came the real kicker. In the start of the promo junket, there was an interview shot to promote the movie. And the host, unable to resist, asked you both about that scene again. The moment the question was out there, Sukuna leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, eyes sparkling with mischief.

The host clears his throat. “So, everyone’s talking about that… intimate scene between you two. How did you prepare for it?”

Without missing a beat, Sukuna deadpanned, “Oh, we didn’t prepare at all. We just winged it. All natural chemistry. It’s just like that between me and my doll, right here.” He shot you a wink, making you snort with laughter.

You, trying to play it cool but clearly failing, added, “Honestly, I think the hardest part was not laughing through the whole thing. I mean, darling, we’re professionals, but…”

Sukuna cut in, “But when you’re this close with someone…” He leaned toward you, smirking, “… things just come naturally.”

The internet immediately combusted. Clips of the interview spread like wildfire, with fans collectively losing their minds. The phrase “all natural chemistry” trended on Twitter for hours.

JJK4HiroKuna: “’Natural chemistry’ MY HEART IS DONE.” 

HiroKunaHiroKuna: "He WINKED?! IS HE TRYING TO KILL US?!" 

OneY/NKunaNation: “We all just agreed they’re married at this point, right?”

Y/N–Y/NHQ: I bet the bed chem is also natural, huh?

Memes flooded every platform. One fan made a video edit of you and Sukuna’s most flirtatious moments, set to some dramatic, romantic soundtrack. The edit quickly went viral, with even more fans joining the speculation train. Soon, someone added to the thread a GIF of Sukuna winking from another project, captioning it with, “When he knows EXACTLY what he’s doing.”

The internet was already hanging by a thread after months of anticipation, memes, and wild speculation, but that night—that night—Sukuna and you delivered the ultimate bombshell that no one saw coming.

It was the end of the movie's promotional tour, and just when fans thought they had seen everything there was to see, Sukuna decided to drop a casual little Instagram story that sent the entire fanbase spiraling.

The video was simple enough at first: the two of you chilling in his trailer during a break, scrolling through Twitter and Instagram, laughing at the flood of comments, reaction videos, and memes about your on-screen chemistry.

But it was the soundtrack that immediately caught everyone's attention—George Michael’s “Careless Whisper” playing softly in the background. That instantly iconic sax riff was the setup for what was about to be an unforgettable moment. Fans knew something chaotic was coming; it was only a matter of what.

Sukuna, ever the mastermind, flipped the camera towards himself, giving a mock-serious look before turning it to you, sitting next to him on the couch, grinning like you were in on the joke.

Sukuna looks at you, smirking. “So, the rumors are true.”

That one line was enough to make everyone sit up, hearts pounding, fingers hovering over their keyboards, ready to fire off tweets. You, already sensing where this was headed, played along like the pro you were.

You raised your brow, matching his smirk. “What rumors?”

Sukuna turned his head slowly, looking directly into the camera with that signature smirk that drove fans wild. His voice dropped to a low, sultry tone, dripping with fake seriousness.

He snickers back. “The ones about us, doll.” He paused, letting the tension build, eyes twinkling with mischief. And then, with perfect comedic timing, he delivered the finishing blow. “We do love keeping people on their toes.”

That was it. That’s all it took. The fanbase erupted into chaos as the video zoomed in dramatically on both of your faces, just before you two completely lost it, bursting into uncontrollable laughter. The screen faded to black, but the internet was already ablaze.

The hashtags #TheRumorsAreTrue, #SukunaAndHisDoll, and #KeepingUsOnOurToes were trending worldwide within minutes. Memes were being generated at lightning speed, GIFs of the dramatic zoom popping up on every corner of the web. And the fan comments? Absolute gold.

HiromiSource: “WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS?!? I CAN’T KEEP UP.” 

KingofCursesHQ: “They’re literally trolling us and I LOVE IT.” 

HiroKuna4Lyfe: “The fact that Sukuna just casually said ‘the rumors are true’ and then did THAT?? I’M GONE.”

Reaction videos flooded TikTok, fans filming themselves losing their minds as they watched Sukuna drop the ultimate tease. One user even posted a slow-motion edit of the zoom with captions like “My heart cannot handle this level of trolling, this is bad for me” and “They’re playing with us like it’s a sport, and I’m here for it.”

But just when you thought the chaos had peaked, Sukuna decided to throw another wrench into the mix. About five minutes after the video went live, he took to Twitter to reply to the overwhelming reactions.

@ItsRyoKuna: “Oh? Did I? Hm…..I wonder if I did?”

That tweet sent fans into a frenzy all over again. The cryptic nature, the smirk behind the words—it was peak Sukuna, and they were living for it.

HiroKuKu: “HE KNOWS WHAT HE’S DOING. STOP THIS MAN. NO DON’T.” 

Pop Sensation Kuna: “’Did I?’ SIR I’M NOT OKAY WITH THIS LEVEL OF TEASING.” 

YoItsKukuNa: “Sukuna’s out here stirring the pot like a pro, and I can’t even be mad.”

Of course, you couldn’t resist getting in on the fun either. A few minutes after Sukuna’s tweet, you replied:

@Y/NTheOne: “Guess we’ll never know 😏”

And that? That was the nail in the coffin. Fans went into full meltdown mode. Screenshots of your reply were immediately plastered across every fan page, each theory more dramatic than the last.

HiroY/NHQ: “NOT YOU TOO. ARE WE EVER GONNA GET A STRAIGHT ANSWER???” 

SusuKuY/N: “This is literally a soap opera and I’m addicted. GIVE ME MORE.”

It’sY/N’sWorld: Y/N ITS TIME TO STOP IM GOING CRAZY

@Y/NTheOne Replied: No <3

Before long, the internet was awash in fan art, with some recreating the trailer scene in elaborate comic-book style panels, and others painting romanticized versions of your characters together, always with that cheeky, ambiguous vibe that kept everyone on edge.

The fans were even dissecting the choice of “Careless Whisper” in the background. Some insisted it was a secret code, a hint that there was something more going on between you two than just professional chemistry. Others joked that it was Sukuna’s favorite way to troll, playing the ultimate cheesy song during the ultimate tease.

HelloDoll: “Careless Whisper? REALLY?? That’s the most dramatic song choice and I’m here for it.” 

JJKuna: “They’re basically telling us they’re the chaotic couple of the century and I can’t handle it.”

The memes kept coming. Someone edited a video of Sukuna saying, “The rumors are true.” then cut to fans fainting and screaming in reaction clips. Another fan took a screenshot of your zoom-in moment and slapped “I WILL NEVER RECOVER” in bold letters across it.

As the fanbase continued to spiral, Sukuna and you just watched from the sidelines, laughing at the chaos you’d unleashed. It was a perfect storm—your playful trolling, the cheeky teasing, and the undeniable chemistry that everyone loved to speculate about.

By the end of the night, the internet was convinced they’d been played in the best way possible. The mystery surrounding your relationship status was still intact, but you’d managed to make the entire ordeal one of the most memorable and entertaining situations in pop culture for your fans.

And for the fans? They wouldn’t have had it any other way.

[illbegottenfaith]

lucky pt 2 - theo nott x reader

after the Felix Felicis incident, your relationship with theo has dramatically changed, for better and for worse

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

a/n - by popular demand! rip my title tho the best alternative I could come up with was ‘feminine ass-kicking’ but idk if that’s too out there. also I’ve started part 3 too! (which should be the final part) this was kind of inspired by gilmore girls season 6 :)

tropes/warnings - academic rivals to lovers, angst, slow burn, miscommunication

word count - 2.1k

The Felix Felicis incident had given the both of you much to think about. Outwardly, you maintained the appearance that nothing had changed between the two of you, taking snipes at each other every now and then. But every night, before you’d fall asleep, your mind would wander back to that evening at the Astronomy Tower, the sight of Theo and the harsh contours of his face softened by the forgiving setting sun. Every night, he asks if you have anything else to say. Every night, you shake your head.

And as much as you’d like to pretend otherwise, things had changed between you. Theo became more reserved, somehow, less determined to spar with you. Your fights didn’t hold anywhere near the spark they once did. And you hated it. You hated that it bothered you, you hated that it upset you, you hated that it was all you could think about every time you were in the same classroom as him. It just wasn’t fair.

What also wasn’t fair was your entire group falling sick the day before an extremely crucial Potions project was due. They were all more than apologetic, but it didn’t change the fact that months worth of work to complete in one night if you wanted even a semblance of a chance at passing.

Which was how Theodore Nott found you in the library late one night, pouring over five gnarly tomes on Potions from the Medieval era, writing what looked like three essays at once. You flinched when you heard a noise near the bookshelves, and your mood wasn’t much improved when you saw who it was.

“Trying to read every book in one night, L/N?”

You wanted to roll your eyes. After weeks of stunted conversation, now that it was just the two of them, he was suddenly feeling chatty?

“I'm busy. Buzz off.”

Ignoring you, Theo crept closer, tilting his head to read what you were haphazardly scribbling.

“The Potions project? But we started that months ago. And it’s due tomorrow.”

You swept the papers up out of his sight. You were already in a testy mood to begin with and you were in no mood to have him crow over your bad luck.

“What part of ‘buzz off’ don’t you get?”

“Where are your groupmates?”

“Sick.”

“Sick?”

“They all went on some Hogsmeade trip together, the whole lot of them. They all caught it from each other and they’re supposed to be stupidly contagious.”

“But their reports should be fine.”

“They were, until Madam Pomfrey declared them a biohazard.” Your head was beginning to hurt from the bottled-up frustration. You knew it wasn’t their fault for falling sick, but now you had to pull an all-nighter just so you wouldn’t fail. You stood and walked past him to the shelves, pulling out any and every book that remotely looked like it might help. 

You glanced at the clock, mentally calculating how much time you’d need. There was no way you could get it all done by 9 am. Feeling quite proud of yourself for successfully giving Theo the same cold shoulder he had been giving you the past couple of weeks, you walked to the library telephone and started dialing the number to Slughorn’s office. One of the only people who could help you now was Jeeves, Slughorn’s teaching assistant, provided he was in a good enough mood.

“Jeeves, hi. Yes, I know it’s late, but I was wondering if you could delay the Potions project submission by just an hour? I’m sure Slughorn wouldn’t mind. It’s just my entire team fell sick all at once, and Madam Pomfrey threw out everything they’ve touched in the past three days, including their reports. I know it's due 9 am but couldn’t you bend the rule a little, just this once? For me?”

You rubbed your forehead anxiously, an unpleasant expression on your face as you tried to follow whatever Jeeves was yammering about punctuality. When he moved on to the importance of personal accountability, you felt like you were going to combust if you didn’t shut him up soon.

“Y’know, Jeeves,” you interrupted with a dramatic sigh, dropping your voice, “just the other day I was thinking about that one Quidditch match you had played a couple of years back. Yes, that one game you subbed in for the Chaser? I have to say, you’re no slouch yourself out on the pitch. You sure look like you know your way around a broom. Yes, exactly, way better than those oafs on the team. I always thought it was a shame you didn’t make the cut - one hour. Yes, yes, that’s all I need. Thank you, thank you!”

You hung up, already feeling much more hopeful with the one-hour extension. All that was left to do was slave away for the rest of the night, and by morning you’d have a more than acceptable report ready.

“…what was that?”

You started, having nearly forgotten who was with you. “What was what?” You asked, half-distracted, once again absorbed in rearranging the layout of your Potions project.

“That, with the - ‘you look like you know your way around a broom?’ Really?”

You glanced at Theo, frowning. “Well, how do you get what you want?”

You turned your gaze back to the book splayed out in front of you, missing the brief look of longing that passed over Theo’s face. “Hmm. Bribery, mainly.”

“Right,” you said slowly, a hint of sarcasm in your tone underneath the flurry of activity. “That trust fund isn’t going to spend itself, now is it?”

“My trust fund doesn’t kick in ‘til I’m 25, tesoro.”

You wanted to kick yourself when your heart fluttered over the stupidly endearing pet name. You didn’t realise how much you missed it. “Oh, oh, of course. Mr. Moneybags here is just absolutely rolling in it even without his trust fund. How could I forget?”

“Mr. Moneybags? That’s the best you can come up with?”

You huffed without any real annoyance. You walked over to where Theo was lounging as he lazily watched you spin like a top between the bookshelves. He had the decency to sit up slightly as you approached and dumped the stack of papers into his lap.

“Look, Nott, I’m on a time crunch here. So either help me or get out.”

Theo looked up at you without a trace of mockery in his otherwise teasing blue eyes. You willed yourself to not look away. 

“Yes, ma'am.”

You made the mistake of holding his gaze. A beat passed, then two. It seemed that it was surprisingly impossible for either of you to look away. Finally, you snapped out of it, mentally giving yourself a good shake as you hurried out of his magnetic field back to the table. If you didn’t know any better, you’d have thought you were flirting with him.

“Wha -?”

“Toast. From breakfast.”

You glanced around the room bleary-eyed, seizing Theo’s wrist a little harder than necessary as you blinked the sleep out of your eyes. As much as you hated to admit it, last night had gone better than you could have ever hoped. It helped to have another pair of hands and a brain that was almost as good as yours. Unfortunately, you must have nodded off at some point, 

Cursing as you finally made out the time on his watch, you peeled off the piece of parchment stuck to your face and continued writing, even as every muscle in your palm protested. Theo rolled his eyes and stuck the toast in your mouth, which you mindlessly nibbled on for the next hour or so. 

When you were finally done, you stuck your group’s names on the cover page and the two of you hurried down to Slughorn’s office a little before 10 o clock. Jeeves, good man that he was, was still in. But your relief was short-lived.

Jeeves did an insufferably exaggerated impression of reading the time as you walked in. “It’s 2 past 10. I’m afraid I can’t accept your submission.”

This was it. You reached your limit. You weren’t running on what was at most 2 hours of sleep just for some self-important dimwit of a teaching assistant to refuse your submission.

You grabbed the collar of Jeeves’ shirt, manhandling him with hours' worth of frustration. “Listen here, Jeeves. You will accept my group’s submission if you want to walk out of here with every part of your anatomy intact. You will take these essays I have here and you will accept them graciously, Merlin help you if you don’t.”

“What happened to using your feminine wiles?” asked Theo, thoroughly enjoying himself.

“Yeah, well, now I’m more in the mood for a feminine ass-kicking. Jeeves, come on. ”

You only released him when Theo placed a calming hand on your wrist. He reached into his pocket, offering something to a very red-faced and highly affronted Jeeves.

“C’mon, Jeeves. Maybe we could make this more worth your while.”

You hesitated, torn. On the one hand, you were raised better than to bribe people or accept financial aid, especially when you didn’t really need it. On the other hand, this project was worth 40% of your grade and Jeeves was being a little bitch. 

Jeeves mulled over the coins in his palm, taking his sweet time appraising them. Just as it looked like he was about to ask for something a little more, you slammed a hand on his desk.

“Alright, fine, hand it over.”

Once you’d finally successfully submitted your project, the two of you walked out of Slughorn’s office in a daze. Without the stress of the impending deadline to act as a buffer between you, a certain awkwardness started to set in. Theo had his hands in his pockets, rubbing at a scuffed patch on the floor with his shoe.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you started, but he waved off your protests. Still, no one pulls an all-nighter for just about anyone.

“So how much did you give him?”

Theo sighed. “L/N.”

But you were already pulling out your coin purse. “It can’t have been more than what I have on me now.”

“Y/N.” You stopped counting out your coins. He was looking at you strangely, like he didn’t understand what he was doing either. “Forget it. Really.”

Reluctantly, you pocketed your coin purse. A hysterical sort of giddiness was starting to set in. “We did it.”

“You did it.”

Maybe it was the long night of endless writing or your grumbling stomach. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation. Or maybe it was the way he was looking at you now, with a smile so sincere like he was genuinely so proud of you. Whatever it was, you took a step towards him, and then another before throwing your arms around his neck.

It was a little less dignified than you would have hoped, what with you trembling with barely any sleep and the vestiges of caffeine-induced adrenaline and him having the audacity of being a whole head taller than you since sixth year. But he steadied you before you could tip back, his arms resting around your waist. You had never shaken hands, much less hugged each other, but something about it felt so warm, comforting, familiar. The feel of his solid body pressed against yours didn’t feel so terrible.

But as you pulled apart, you caught sight of his expression, and your face fell. He wasn’t smiling like you, not anymore. 

“I’m sorry,” you blurted out, immediately feeling like the biggest idiot in the world. He still wasn’t smiling, but he didn’t look angry either. He looked - you couldn’t tell how he looked. He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear almost regretfully, before turning to leave.

“Don’t.”

Theo paused. He didn’t turn to face you.

“Don’t do this, Nott. Don’t be cold. Don’t be distant.”

He adjusted the shoulder strap of his satchel. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he was nervous. “I have Charms to get to.” He turned his head slightly but not enough to meet your gaze. “You should get a proper breakfast.”

And then he left, as if he had no idea what you were talking about. As if the last twelve hours hadn’t occurred. As if he hadn’t felt the void festering between you the past couple of weeks.

As if he didn’t care about you.

[verysium]

『01』 呪術廻戦: jujutsu kaisen recs

五条悟: gojo satoru

i know you still think about the times we had by @saetoru

satoru will always comes when you call him, he just never thought you’d stop calling. notes: satoru is so desperate and pathetic here it is just delicious; has the right amount of angst to cause tension but a good ending to soothe my poor heart; traditional rich boy and disapproving mother/father scenario but implemented relatively well; miscommunication and feelings of inadequacy; reader realizing the extent to which satoru loves them

pretty eyes by @quirklessidiot

in which the right eye is mine and the left eye is yours and when we meet for the first time, you see your own eyes staring back at you. notes: takes tragic star-crossed lovers to a whole new level; riddled with parallels and symbolism; idea of illness and loving someone at their worst; right person, wrong time at its finest; fate being unnecessarily cruel; surprising moments of humor

minazuki by @quirklessidiot

In which Y/N L/N is placed under a union she has no choice but to partake for the sake of her survival. notes: this series needs to be scientifically studied; it is just that good; halfway in and i fell in love with the reader instead of gojo; strong and somewhat morally grey characters; dark themes around femininity in a patriarchal society but concept was executed flawlessly

21: only by @tenjiiku

“What do you want, Satoru?” You do not use his last name or any honorific to address him despite his age. He was older than you by a few years — but certainly did not act the part — so you do not think he deserves your respect. Your host father told you he does — something about his being from a prominent private school as an educator, which you cannot possibly fathom being the truth — but only in front of you is Satoru Gojo an inane, odd man with a need for clean, dry-cleaned clothes that, for some strange reason he has conjectured in his equally baffling mind, that only you can provide. He smiles at you, placing his cheek in his hand. “You.” notes: this fic embodies the duality between gojo and satoru; he is easy-going until he isn’t and you realize he actually has a considerable amount of depth; the plot twist did it for me; satoru being a loud-mouthed tease but secretly harboring feelings

soulswap by @orphxus (impxria)

this is where the evening splits in half, love or death. grab an end, pull hard, & make a wish. notes: short but realistically describes everything wrong with jujutsu society; poetic voice; gojo being serious for once; disillusionment and tragic hero archetype; being the strongest yet being unable to save anybody; geto would read this fic and feel seen

両面宿儺: ryomen sukuna

nocuous by @quirklessidiot

“It’s ironic, isn’t it? I knew how this was going to end but I’m still terribly hurt by it.” notes: the heian era setting is so complex and established even through dialogue and subtle description; reader strikes me as older and able to deal with sukuna’s chaotic nature; sukuna being an absolute menace is sending me; tragic angst but almost didn’t notice it due to how beautifully the images are presented

avīci by @rotpeach

Several years ago, Satoru Gojo was involved in the exorcism of a uniquely stubborn curse. The official report states that one of Ryomen Sukuna's fingers was recovered from the scene, and nothing else. Only the two of you know the truth. notes: gore, gore, and even more gore; boy was this fic a wild ride; imagine a work that condenses the ugliest and most revolting parts of human nature yet presents them so elegantly you start questioning the blurred lines of morality; cannibalism, violence, and love triangles; japanese mythology & folklore; heian period references; cursed spirit reader tries to grapple with the idea of self after being created for the sole purpose of serving others; themes of existentialism, identity crisis, obsession

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

Sep 28th

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1. hello itmf request for madam lan (twin jades mom) fics where she lives and meets wwx as lwj's partner. ive read sami's fics with her alive, and i just got to read more. canon or modern era is fine. thank you for your hard work as always!

Every Mother’s Son by Chrononautical (T, 11k, WangXian, Madam Lán Lives, Madam Lán Deserves Better, Madam Lán Leaves Cloud Recesses, Madam Lan rescues women from abusive husbands in feudal Japan and honestly that’s so valid of her, mentions of rape/non-con between Madam Lan & Qingheng-Jun)

💖 Do you want to hear by allollipoppins, dameauxgentianes (T, 12k, WangXian, time travel fix-it, canon divergence, not everyone dies au, epistolary, Madam Lan lives, minor character death, dark LWJ, Lan WWX, bad parents JFM & YZY, good uncle LQR, no sunshot campaign)

🧡 All will be well when the day is done by abCEE (T, 76k, WangXIan, Canon Divergence, Fix It, Not Jiang Family Friendly, JFM & YZY Bashing, Fix it for our main characters, Time Travel, Butterfly Effect, Madam Lan Lives, No Sunshot Campaign, Artistic License, Unreliable Narrator, JC Bashing, non-yunmeng WWX, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Good Uncle LQR, OOC, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, WWX gets the love and care that he deserves from the very beginning, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiangs, verbal and physical (c/o Zidian) abuse from YZY)

no step had trodden black by Stratisphyre (T, 32k, wangxian, LQR & WWX, JYL/JZX, canon divergence, madam lan lives, past rape, golden core reveal, hurt/Comfort, referenced to attempted suicide & suicidal thoughts, canon-typical violence)

pale shadows of forgotten names by Chrononautical (T, 56k, wangxian, Madam Lán Lives, Madam Lán Deserves Better, Good Sibling LXC, Badass LXC, He gets there in the end it just takes a while, Not particularly JGY friendly, Gūsū Lán Sect Rules, Canon-Typical Behavior, Unresolved Sexual Tension, the universal fear of growing up to become one of your parents, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives AU, Except WN but he’s very polite, Arranged Marriage, Forced Marriage, Imprisonment, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, not between wangxian, Drunk LWJ, to lighten the mood, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Traumatized WWX, though he will not admit it, Taking time to heal, canon-typical communication skills)

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2. ITMF: A fic where JWY is a protective sibling. A fic where you cant help but picture him as a cat that hissed to LWJ and JZX with his siblings behind him. It doesnt have to be the focus of the story. Thanks

What If..... Jiang Cheng Understood? by ToxicAngel13 (M, 66k, WIP, WangXian, Ribbons, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, WangXian Get Married in the Cold Springs Cave, Protective JC, Confused WWX, Angry LWJ, Fix-It of Sorts, Good Uncle LQR, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, POV LQR, YZY Bashing, POV JFM, Not JFM Friendly, Hurt/Comfort, Protective NHS)

Trust in my Word by TheObsoleteOne (E, 40k, WIP, WangXian, XiYao, ChengSang, A/B/O Dynamics, Protectiveness, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Omega WWX, Alpha LXC, Alpha LWJ, Good Sibling JC, Canon Divergence, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Soulmates, Protective LWJ, Precious WWX)

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3. Hi! I’m looking for fics that diverge from canon at the Xuanwu of Slaughter cave, I would love something where they’re not so sick but they’re trapped with each other or where they get together at that point! @alienspectator

Five Things That Didn't Happen in Xuanwu Cave series by Deastar (E, 26k, WangXian, Xuanwu of Slaughter Cave, Fluff Marriage Proposa,l or perhaps more accurately discussion of marriage proposal, Rule 63, Gender Changes, Female WangXian, very soft despite the setting, Kissing, Non-Oblivious LWJ and WWX, Class Issues, Cuddling, Hurt/Comfort, Huddling For Warmth, LWJ is on the Asexuality Spectrum, what if the famed horny clench was actually solely a toppy clench, Service Top LWJ, cute tentative D/s dynamics, like the baby fawn stumbling around on its wobbly little legs version of D/s dynamics, Non-Traditional A/B/O Dynamics, Dirty Talk, Omega LWJ, Omega WWX)

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4. Hello, could you please recommend the fics where lan zhan has a huge inner critic and can't cope with expectations of him and the contradictions of others to the rules he was raised with.

Like people acting , dumb, rude, hypocrite and he judges

And if Wei Ying is ok with him being judgemental and helps him

Thank you!

Vandalize by The_Gourmet_Gamer (E, 66k, WangXian, Modern, Vampire, Hurt/Comfort, Forbidden Love, Religious Guilt, Homophobia, Anxiety, Eventual Happy Ending, Blood Kink, First Time, First Kiss, Smut, Consensual Non-Consent)

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5. Hi! i’m looking for fics where jiang cheng loses his golden core but wei wuxian decides to not give up his own for him.

This could be time travel fic or fic where wwx decides he has more to live for and couldn’t ruin his future. I’m not necessarily looking for jc bashing but i wouldn’t mind it either! thank you for all your help 🫶

Never Again by Hauntcats (T, 67k, WWX & WN & WQ, JC & WWX, wangxian, graphic depictions of violence, major character death, Canon Divergence, Angst, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, Time Travel Fix-It, Not JC Friendly, Dark, BAMF WWX, mentions of abuse, Not Everyone Dies au, XY doesn’t have a happy ending) Time traveller WQ stops the operation & talks WWX out of doing it

Lay my body down by tawaen (M, 48k, WWX & WQ, WWX & WN, wangxian, WWX & JYL, Canon Divergence, Time Travel, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Eventual WangXian, No Golden Core Transfer, Not Cultivation World Friendly, Canon-Typical Violence, Not JC Friendly, What if WWX saw the first siege of the burial mounds and said Nope to the war, OCs, OC point-of-view for one chapter for plot reasons) Time traveller WWX decides to leave the cultivation world behind right after the fall of Lotus Pier, so when JC inevitably loses his core, WWX isn't around to fix it

Half of my soul by Asphodel_Meadow (T, 8k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, No Golden Core Transfer, Fix-It, 5+1 Things, kinda soul bond but with their golden cores, POV Outsider, POV Alternating)

violent delights by justdoityoufucker (orphan_account) (T, 4k, WWX & WQ & WN, WangXian, Not JC Friendly, Canon Divergence, Golden Core Transfer, No Golden Core Transfer, Pre-Sunshot Campaign, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Found Family, Canon JC Characteristics)

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6. Greetings and thanks for all you do! I seem to have read a lot of fics lately that are not JC or JYL friendly. It's gotten me down and I'd vowed to skip those for awhile. Today I read a fic that wasn't tagged as such, so it caught me unawares. 😥 I still read it bc I found the main plot enjoyable. But now I'm definitely ready for some recent fics that are happy endings for all the Yunmeng siblings. 🙏

The most dangerous thing is to love by KatAnni (E, 113k, WangXian, Golden Core Reveal, Fix-It, Everybody Lives, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Canon Divergence, Hurt!WWX, Found Family, Implied/Referenced Torture, POV Multiple, Implied/Referenced Cannibalism, Panic Attacks, PTSD, Golden Core Transfer, Golden Core Transfer Fix-it, Medical Procedures, Fainting, Major Character Injury, Blood and Injury, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Asexual JC, homophobia doesn’t exist here, Marriage Proposal, Marriage, Wedding Night, Whump)

Tether by WithBroomBefore (T, 40k, WangXian, SangLi, WWX’s passive suicidality, Canon Divergence, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, WWX Lives, JYL Lives, Golden Core Reveal, Minor Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, POV JYL, Grief/Mourning, Sunshot Campaign, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, LWJ makes friends, Fix-It, Happy Ending) these aren't really recent but The most dangerous thing is to love and Tether otherwise fit the request.

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7. Hihi 🫶 itmf for scary yllz Wei wuxian, just anything with wwx being insanely powerful and spooky!

No jc bashing or a/b/o please

💖 Echo, Murmur, Dream, Here by bluerainmist (M, 51k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Universe Alteration, the yiling patriarch survives, Angst with a Happy Ending, Catharsis, Slow Burn, Drama, Getting Together, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Melancholy, Love, Mutual Pining, Reunions, Love Confessions, Eventual Smut, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Switching, Grief/Mourning, fucking while pining, Implied/Referenced Torture, Self-Harm, golden core transfer, Playing fast and loose with worldbuilding, Battle Scenes, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, implied / Referenced suicide attempt, Sect Leader WWX, YLLZ WWX, Yílíng Wèi Sect) link in #8

Old Foreshadows by protos_metazu_ison (M, 15k, WangXian, YLLZ WWX, BAMF WWX, War, Universe Alteration, Sunshot Campaign, Rated For Violence, Timeline What Timeline, Mojo’s post)

the field meets the wood by astronicht (T, 7k, WangXian, BAMF WWX, slight whump, Ritualistic Self Harm, Canon Era, Tang Dynasty style, Blood Loss, Blood and Injury, salt economics, Post-Canon, [podfic] the field meets the wood by jellyfishfire, [Podfic] the field meets the wood by semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona))

transmuter by WithLoweredVoices (Not rated, 113k, wangxian, Modern with Magic, Magical Realism, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending) if the requester doesn't mind modern magical realism: transmuter

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8. ITMF: where after wwx dies like in canon or give up yin tiger tally and vanishing with wen remnant, the jin start showing their color. I want them to remember wwx warning that said the jin wants to replace the wen. I want that when i read the fic give the feel that wwx says "i told you so" Or "you chose the wrong person to put your trust to". Thanks!

💖 Echo, Murmur, Dream, Here by bluerainmist (M, 51k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Universe Alteration, the yiling patriarch survives, Angst with a Happy Ending, Catharsis, Slow Burn, Drama, Getting Together, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Melancholy, Love, Mutual Pining, Reunions, Love Confessions, Eventual Smut, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Switching, Grief/Mourning, fucking while pining, Implied/Referenced Torture, Self-Harm, golden core transfer, Playing fast and loose with worldbuilding, Battle Scenes, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, implied / Referenced suicide attempt, Sect Leader WWX, YLLZ WWX, Yílíng Wèi Sect)

~*~

9. Helloooo~

I'm really in the mood for Wei Wuxian embracing the GusuLan sect and having his very own forehead ribbon! Do you beautiful people know of some? @lostandmessedup

Dispersing Clouds by dreamingofcake (E, 283k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Abusive YZY, Canonical Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Sex, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm (Background Character), Background Character Deaths, child deaths, Canon JC, Good Uncle LQR, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Cultivation Sect Politics, Homophobia, Heteronormativity, Feelings Realization, WWX is Not Oblivious)

We Meet at the Thousandth Step by Admiranda, Rynne (T, 316k, WangXian, CSSR/WCZ, Canon Divergence, No Sunshot Campaign, CSSR & WCZ Live, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Different First Meeting, Night Hunts, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Plot, Romance, Drama, Fluff, Strangers to married, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Everyone Lives, Developing Relationship, Minor Violence, Case Fic, Mystery, Flirting, WWX’s Canon-Typical Flower Flirting, Arson, There Was Only One Bed, Getting Together, First Kiss, Meeting the Parents, Resolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Romantic Tension, WWX Is a Good Big Brother, New Relationship Bliss, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, Blood and Injury, Yiling siblings, Married WangXian, Honeymoon, Wangxian’s Baby Fever)

🔒 The Straightest Path by meyari (T, 30k, WangXian, NieLan, MingLi, ChengSang, war and death, Grief/Mourning, Politics, plotting for neuroatypicals, Autistic LWJ, WWX Has ADHD, Non-Canon Relationship, No Yīn Iron, Sect Leader LWJ) which has Wei Ying marrying into the Lans after the burning of Cloud Recesses but I honestly don't remember if getting his own forehead ribbon is featured in this story.

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10. Would love to see people's favourite fics featuring switch dynamics and/or bottomji. Bonus points for subji (does not need to coincide with bottomji). @linderel

Respectable, Decent, and Quiet by Theotrix (E, 5k, WangXian, Porn with Feelings, Post-Canon, repressed lwj, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Loud Sex, Emotional release)

this bed of love by YaYa (Terabyte_my_ass) (E, 4k, WangXian, Established Relationship, Post-Canon, Rimming, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Tender Sex, its so fucking tender and soft, super sensitive LWJ, Blink and you miss it humiliation kink, and a little bit of praise kink, First Time Bottoming, Bottom LWJ, POV LWJ, Coming Untouched)

A Narrow Bridge by FrameofMind, Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle) (E, 700k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Slow Burn, Getting Together, First Time, Pining while fucking, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Angst with a Happy Ending, CQL Verse, almost everybody lives/almost nobody dies, epistolary-ish, canon-ish side pairings, radishes) Been a while since I read it, but IIRC this longfic has bottom!LWJ

Requester might also be interested to know there's a Bottomji event due to start posting stuff in a few days

Howling by MimiSpearmint (E, 40k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Mortal Instruments Fusion, Horror, Eldritch, Domestic Fluff, Single Parent WWX, Witchcraft, Getting Together, shifter!lwj, yllz!wwx, Intercrural Sex, Hand Jobs, Angst with a Happy Ending, Switch WangXian, a bit of a degradation kink, anti-STI sex talismans, Anal Sex, Oral Sex)

best laid plans by ilip13 (E, 20k, WangXian, Modern AU, Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, Also some angst for our suffering hero, Developing Relationship, Porn with Feelings, An Ode to Switching, Top/Bottom Versatile | Switch WangXian, Unreliable Narrator)

pretty things by ablinka (E, 7k, WangXian, Modern, Established Relationship, Top LWJ/Bottom WWX, Submissive LWJ, Trans Male Character, Trans LWJ, Trans WWX, Bondage, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Overstimulation, Vaginal Sex, Strap-Ons, tdick penetration, dysphoria plays a significant role in the fic but does not actually occur, [slaps roof of pwp] this bad boy can fit so much fucking gender in it)

all of ScarlettStorm's fic but especially 花束 | bouquet by ScarlettStorm (E, 7k, WangXian, PWP, Rope Bondage, Flower Arrangement, tender kink, A Nice Afternoon ™, Established Relationship, Post-Canon, Blow Jobs, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Dom WWX, Sub LWJ)

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11. ITMF: I read many tgcfxmdzs fic where hualian is wwx (or any character in mdzs) parents/guardian/teacher, is there a fic that are opposite of that? Like WWX is Hua Cheng teacher or something? Thanks

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12. hello! for the next itmf I was wondering if you could rec fics where jc and lsz start developing an uncle-nephew relationship. no modern aus please

Would You Come Home? by s6115 (Not rated, 46k, WangXian, Junior Quartet Centric, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Junior Quartet Dynamics)

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13. Hi!!! This is for itmf. Is there any fic where

A) the Yiling town people protect Wei Wuxian

B) the civilians realise that cultivation world is the villain and protect Wei Wuxian and the Wen Remnant.

Thank you in advance❤️ @chibiizzy

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14. hello and thank you for the work you do! i was wondering for the next itmf if you have recs of post-canon lxc and wwx developing a brotherly bond. it would be nice if lxc apologized to wwx for what he said at guanyin too

Preparing the Soil by Rynne (T, 26k, WangXian, LQR & LWJ, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Family Issues, Family Conflict, Uncle-Nephew Relationship, Chinese Holidays, Chinese New Year, Birthdays, Good Kid LSZ, Meta Arguments, POV LWJ, Protective LWJ, Married WangXian, LWJ’s Birthday, LSZ’s Birthday, Soft WangXian, LWJ Has to Talk a Lot, Gusu Lan Sect Rules, Gusu Lan Sect, Letting Go of Resentment, The WWX Rule, Good Sibling LXC, Improving Uncle LQR, Grappling with the Lans’ Part in the Siege, learning to be better, Music, LWJ is a Composer, LWJ Is Good at Communicating Actually, Not JC Friendly)

one of our own by glitteringmoonlight (G, 7k, WangXian, Post-Canon, POV Outsider, 5+1 Things)

Of poisons and forgiveness by Anonymous (G, 1k, LXC & WWX, POV LXC, WWX deserves to be taken care of, WWX Needs a Hug, Hurt WWX, Hurt/Comfort, Poisoning, Poison, Talking, Apologies, Post-Canon, WWX is a Lan, by Marriage, LXC considers joining WWX protection squad tbh, WWX appreciation)

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15. Hiii , looking for fics where wwx did s*x (sex) work(or something like that) to earn money for the burial mounds settlement, and lwj caught him / learned about it.. thx!

🔒 Tender by Deastar (E, 20k, WangXian, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Sex Work, (not between the main characters), love in the time of income inequality, Canon Divergence, Hopeful Ending, Gūsū Lán Forehead Ribbon)

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16. Hello, itmf WY being calm, serious in his communication with LZ during cr period. Like his laughing and being brash is a disguise most of the time, but the way he approaches LZ is sincere.

Thank you 🙏

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17. Thank you for all the work you do!

For an I'm In The Mood For: I'm in the mood to read:

A. Wangxian fic where the emphasis is on their relationship developing, any sex is fade-to-black or implied/way off "screen" and/or

B. Fic featuring asexual Wei Ying or Lan Zhan or both.

I'm just super tired of fics that are 90% PWP. (Can't believe it, but I am, lol).

17A)

through a window softly by impossibletruths (T, 14k, WangXian, Modern, College/University, Neighbors, Music, They Play Music Together But They’ve Never Met, It’s very romantic, Graduate School, WWX Is Doing Music Education and LWJ Is Doing Composition, Music As Love Language, Just A Whole Lot Of Classical Music In General, Podfic Available, Spanish Translation Available, Russian Translation Available)

fish & wild geese by impossibletruths (T, 21k, WangXian, Modern AU, Farm/Ranch, Poetry, Grief/Mourning, Cooking, Catharsis, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Hunger as a Metaphor for Grief, Farming as a Metaphor for Healing, Overzealous Use Of Imagery, Mentioned Madam Lán)

🔒 The Promises We Make by Mayarenerose (G, 34k, WangXian, LSZ & LWJ, LXC & LWJ, LWJ & WN, LWJ & JC, Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Fluff, Angst, Everybody Lives, Canon Divergence, Gratuitous Bed Sharing)

And Yet Here You Are by cosmicmilktea (T, 10k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Domestic Fluff, Cloud Recesses, settling down, Separation Anxiety, Teacher WWX, very light angst, Chief Cultivator LWJ)

17B)

Picture Perfect by manaika (M, 22k, WangXian, Modern AU, Past Relationship(s), Widower WWX, Grief/Mourning, Getting Together, Families of Choice, Family Feels, Stepfather WWX, LSZ is a Wèi, Single Parent WWX, Aromantic Relationship, Platonic Life Partners, it’s all in the past and only mentioned/discussed when relevant, Sex-Favorable Asexual WWX, RomanceHurt/Comfort, Past Character Death, Food Intake Related Medical Issue (not what you think) )

🔒 The Bunnysitter: a Post-it Romance by theLoyalRoyalGuard (G, 9k, WangXian, Modern AU, Fluff, really it’s just soft and fluffy, with a tiny bit of angst for seasoning, Asexual LWJ, autistic LWJ, adhd WWX, I mean he’s basically the ADHD poster child, cellist LWJ, Hacker WWX for justice, background 3zun, [Podfic] The Bunnysitter: a Post-it Romance by Cathalinareads (Cathalinaheart) )

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If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[writersblockiskillingme]

Can you please do a Damiano fell in love with his long time friend/band mate (reader) who is the backup singer (bc their voices complement each others perfectly) and writes a song about her and sings it to her on stage, confessing his love. (the other band mates know abt it).

I’m in my delusional era

Only Angel | Damiano David

Pairing: Damiano David x fem!reader (Måneskin bandmate)

Summary: You were in love with him for a very long time, but you didn't know that he loved you back. Until he decided to do something about it.

Warning/s: pet name (angel), just a little bit of good all angst, smut +18, degradation, teasing, prising, dom/sub, few curse words, mentions of alcohol and weed, cigarettes, mentions of one night stands, grammar and spelling mistakes, Google translated Italian (sorry, please tell me in the comments if I made any mistakes so I can fix them)

Author's note: This one's been a long time coming, but enjoy!

I saw this angel

I really saw an angel

Open up your eyes, shut your mouth and see

That I'm still the only one who's been in love with me

I'm just happy getting you stuck in between my teeth

And there's nothing I can do about it

Damiano could still remember the first time he met her.

She was the first singer that Måneskin (Back then just Victoria and Thomas) recruited for the band. He could remember it as if it was yesterday.

His hands were sweating as hell as he walked through the hallway of a "made up", improved studio that belongs to the future, back-then-still-in-making, rock band Måneskin. He remembered how nervous he was, but that nervousness compared to the one he experienced as he walked into the studio was nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not a big deal at all.

As he reached his stop, he looked up and saw a guy with blonde hair messing with his guitar, and he saw a blonde haired girl standing next to him, watching him. They didn't notice him just yet.

Damiano turned his head away from them and decided to focus his gaze on a girl sitting in a chair with a pen and journal in her hands, ashtray sitting on the armrest of the chair. She was lightly gripping the pen as she wrote and crossed and scrambled the words on a piece of paper in the journal. Her (h/l) (h/c) covered her eyes slightly. He could clearly see her red lips moving, even tho she had a half finished cigarette in her mouth. She was probably mumbling the word of the, what was probably, a song she was writing.

She was mumbling so quietly, but somehow he could still hear her voice. It was beautiful, he felt like he was falling into a trans. He felt himself freezing like a deer in headlights when he saw her look up at him.

Her face steached into a smile, cigarette no longer lingering on her lips as she reached out and placed it on an ashtray. Her (e/c) shining like the sun, her hair no longer covering them from him. She stood up and started to walk up to him. That's the moment when Vic and Thomas noticed him, too.

He noticed the grace she was carrying herself with. It was as if she was floating. It was a sight to behold for sure.

"Ciao! Tu devi essere Damiano David." [Hi! You must be Damiano David.] She said and he felt like his breath was knocked out of his lungs when he heard her angelic voice speak to him.

"SÌ. Quello... sono io." [Yes. That's me.] He stuttered for a bit and that shocked him to his core. He never stuttered before, it felt weird. He didn't like that.

"Sorprendente. Io sono (Y/N) e loro sono Thomas e Victoria." [Amazing. I'm (Y/N) and this is Thomas and Victoria.] She introduced herself, Thomas and Vic.

And so, after a few quick hellos were exchanged, they pulled him in front of the mic and they preformed one song with him and one where he had to sing alone. It turned out that (Y/N) and he sing together perfectly. Their voices simply sound so good together. However, since that day something followed Damiano. Something that he couldn't quite place for a little bit.

Broke a finger knocking on your bedroom door

I got splinters in my knuckles crawling across the floor

Couldn't take you home to mother in a skirt that short

But I think that's what I like about it

She's an angel

Only angel

She's an angel

My only angel

Over the years Damiano and (Y/N) started to get closer and closer to each other.

At first it was innocent, truly. The two of them would talk with each other more than they would with Vic, Thomas or Ethan. Everyone soon noticed how close they were. They started to become very good friends. They had a lot of thing in common. They liked the same music, the same artists, everything! They somehow never ran out of topics to have a conversation about. It was amazing, really.

They would go out to get coffee, pizza, they went to bars and local parties together. They would come to each other's houses and just watch TV and get drunk or, sometimes even, high. They would drink some shitty wine that they would find in some shitty liquor store and would fall asleep on top of each other on the couch.

They would write and sing songs with each other. They liked each other's voices, but most of all, they liked how they sounded together. A match made in heaven, indeed.

However, over the years something changed. As they grew, the band did, too and so did their feelings for one another. Damiano watched everything she did whenever she was in his presence. He practically adored the ground she was walking on. It was amazing to experience. And to watch, too.

Vic was the first one to notice, of course. She would easily notice the longing glances that they would send each other while they thought that nobody was looking. She tried to talk to them about it. They would just brush it off.

"She is just my best friend, come on, Vic!"

"He's just a friend to me. Nothing more!"

Of course, Vic wasn't stupid, and neither were Thomas and Ethan. They soon figured what was up, too. The three musicians really tried everything in their power to get them to know what the other was feeling, but it felt like it was impossible to do that.

The problem was that Damiano and (Y/N) thought that the other didn't like them like that. And so from one problem, another one was born.

One night stands.

They both thought that if they see other people they could push their feelings away. However, when did that work out?

Damiano could still remember it. He walked down the hallway of the hotel that they were staying in because of their performance in New York. He watched her and some random guy practically eat each other's faces as she started to push him into her hotel room.

The last thing that he saw were the stains of red lipstick before he started doing it two.

I must admit I thought I'd like to make you mine

As I went about my business through the warning signs

End up meeting in the hallway every single time

And there's nothing we can do about it

Damiano had officially had enough. Watching her bringing guy after guy in her hotel room, him bringing girl after girl. It was too much. He couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't just stand aside as he watched and heard everything those guys did when it should be him doing it to his angel.

So one night he gathered his courage and knocked on her door so hard he almost got splinters in his knuckles from the wooden door. The moment she opened the door he spilled his feelings to her and so this is how they ended up there.

Damiano was quick to notice a bruise in the corner of her neck. Her pathetic attempt to cover it with her hair was not doing it. He felt anger fill his body to the brim. He knew that he had no reason to be angry, she wasn't his. Perhaps that was what angered him.

"You seem angry." (Y/N) was quick to point it out, her face forming a concerned look. "Why are you mad?"

"I'm not mad." Damiano spat out, proving her point. "I just think that you can choose better people to share spit with, angel. That's all."

"Excuse me?!" (Y/N) couldn't help but to yell in his face in the middle of the hallway. "What the hell is wrong with you, Damiano?"

"Was it worth it?" He asked her, his voice dangerously low. It send shivers down her spine.

"Is you hating me right now your new personality trait?"

She knew that that wasn't justified. She knew how bold of her that was. She knew that he didn't actually hate her, at least she hoped that he didn't. The truth was that she grew nervous under his gaze. His gaze, his tone, sudden realization of what he was talking about... it made her nervous as hell. She didn't know what to do.

"Was it worth it?" He kept his voice low and she knew that she couldn't avoid the topic any longer as much as she wanted to.

"I don't know what to say, Damiano."

"Oh, don't bullshit me, (Y/N)!" Damiano's voice rang in the hallway of the huge hotel in the middle of New York. He didn't give a flying fuck that it was night. That her "neighbors" were probably asleep. He didn't care about anything but his angel.

"Watcing you with so many guys who can't give you what I can... it draw me crazy." He finally confessed as he watched her in science of the hallway, frozen, confused. "You still don't get it, do you? It's because I love you."

"Now I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't feel the same way." Damiano told her as he pinned her against the door of her bedroom. Her breath getting stuck in her throat as she listened to his rough voice speak. "Just then I will leave you alone."

"I can't." She whispered, feeling so small compared to him right now.

"And why is that, angel."

"Because... I'm not even gonna lie, I'm just so fucking obsessed with you, you have no idea."

That's all he needed.

Told it to her brother and she told it to me

That she's gonna be an angel, just you wait and see

When it turns out she's a devil in between the sheets

And there's nothing she can do about it

Hey, hey

His lips felt so familiar yet so unknown to her. His breathing had become more strained.

"Damn it all to hell, if I don't get to have you tonight then I'm never going to be able to have you."

"Who says it has to be that way." (Y/N) said as she gasped in pleasure as he started to suck the skin on her neck.

His muscles tensed with every thrust. She finally allowed herself to sink into the mattress, into her pillow. She finally allowed herself to have him and for him to have her. She felt his hands flattering against her spine as he drew her closer to him as if that was physically possible.

"Arch your back for me, angel."

She felt herself gasping in pleasure as she did what he asked her to do. It was hard for him to contain his own sounds, too, as he pumped his thick throbbing cock into her at a constant pace.

"Please..." she was getting overwhelmed with him continuously hitting the right spot deep inside of her.

He grabbed her ankles and lifted her ankles to place them around his waist. She was practically screaming as he continued to split her wet pussy at rapid speed. She continued to shudder as he sped up his pace.

"Bet you they don't make you sound like that, do they, angel?"

"Ah- I-"

"Do they!?"

"NOO!" She barely gasped. "They don't... only you can do- ahh- this to mee!"

She openly moaned, screaming as Damiano's cock started swelling and stretching her tight pussy even more then before. And as her orgasm hit, she began to cry. He didn't care, he continued to thrust repeatedly, no signs of stopping or at least slowing down.

"I want you to remember everything fucking seconds of this."

She was overstimulated, but the tears of pleasure continued to flow.

He suddenly pulled out, erotic sound of cum mixed together filled the deafening silence in her room. He's fiery kisses started to trail down to her soaked pussy. Soon he started to suck her clit, but he moved away when he felt your hands on his head. He removed his tongue as he repositioned himself near your ass.

"Mhh!" (Y/N) tried to gain her voice back so she could speak again. "Don't! Too much!"

"Shhh... my beautiful angel." He cooed to her. "I'm sure that you've got one more in you. Will you be a good little angel and take what I have to give you?" His words were mocking and teasing at the same time as she nodded her head as much as she could before she pushed herself further into her pillow.

"Good girl."

He slowly began to enter her again, he was lubricated by her dripping juices. The thrusts began to increase again as she screamed his name, shaking. However, soon she found herself moving to meet his rough, pleasurable thrusts, which synchronized.

She was drowning in pleasure, she couldn't comprehend what was happening anymore. However she knew one thing, every time that fat cock hit her cervix, she got closer and closer to her much needed release.

She's an angel

Only angel

She's an angel

My only angel

She's an angel

Only angel

She's an angel

My only angel

Wanna die, wanna die, wanna die tonight

Wanna die, wanna die, wanna die tonight

Wanna die, wanna die, wanna die tonight

The stadium was big. The light were truly blinging (Y/N). The adrenaline was pumping through your veins. She was so happy, so full of euphoria even tho her throat felt so sore from all the singing and her muscles were hurting her.

On the other hand Damiano felt like he was going to faint. Yes, he was euphoric and happy, too. He was so happy and excited for the even bigger future of Måneskin, but he felt nervous.

For years he was in love with this girl. He always gave his best to express it as best as he possibly could. But nothing felt good enough. His angel deserved the world, even more so. He loved her so much the fraze "to the moon and back" simply couldn't cut it.

So he decided to express his love for her in a way that he did best. He wrote her a song. And so with a deep breath, and Victoria's pep talk before he went on the stage, he stepped forward.

"How are we feeling tonight, LA!?" Damiano shouted and his shout was followed by screaming and clapping of the fans.

"So tonight you are going to hear a song you have never heard before!! You excited!!??"

Damiano had to cover his ears a little because the screaming of the fans became a little bit too much. Still he found himself laughing with excitement. Like he always did. He looked a little to the side where (Y/N) was standing so he could take a little peak at her face. Confused was not a good enough word to explain the look on her face when she heard what Damiano had said and Vic, Thomas nor Ethan didn't say anything. He wrote a song? Without me? (Y/N) though to herself.

"This song I will sing alone." Damiano said and (Y/N) got even more confused.

"You see, I met this girl a long time ago and I felt like I loved her the moment I saw her. I wanted to express my love to her and to the entire world so I wrote this song for her." Damiano continued.

The crowd was already loosing their minds as Damiano stepped took the microphone form it's stand, but when Damiano said the next words and started singing all hell broke loose.

"This song is for you, (Y/N). My only angel."

She's an angel

Only angel

She's an angel

My only angel

She's an angel

My only angel

She's an angel

My-my-my only angel

->

->

->

TAGLIST

@opal-rugger

[offbrandkyoya]

Lights, Camera, Action! - scaramouche x reader smau

summary:

you’re best friends with the famous band of all time, 5WIRL. however, DCKZ are rising to the top which are leaving your friends in the dust. the solution: add a new member, a new face to start some attention! it did cause attention alright, especially for your heart.

pairing: scaramouche x gn!reader

genre: band au, smau, fluff, crack, celebrity x reader, angst

warning: cursing, scandals, false rumors, kys jokes, mistreatment

status: completed!

taglist: closed :(

5WIRL the lovers DCKZ

Prologue: 1 & 2

01: congratulations! (you’re fucked)

02: common venti L

03: todays the day

04: childe has 0 rizz

05: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, SIX

06: let’s do it

07: << egg sandwiches

08: not your wife

09: fake birthday

10: scarapoo

11: sandwich kisses

12: stay mad

13: kaeyas delusional era

14: yn’s love life

15: SCARA!

16: therapist venti

17: the first show

18: bitchy woman

19: cricket cricket

20: just a friend

21: oh

22: strong

23: retweet

24: im glad to have met you

25: the delusions won

26: HE WANT ME

27: yes

28: TEN?????

29: giggling

30: hoe list

31: date night

32: together 4eva

33: bf reveal

34: enough is enough

35: best friends

36: sugar booger

37: marriage arc

38: fucking kids

39: by my side

40: kazurizz

41: oops i did it again

42: suck it up

43: stupid + stupid

44: = scarayn

45: angel from heaven

46: jealousy jealousy

47: boy what

48: fine then

49: feelings suck

50: hopefully

51: I’m Sorry

52: two weeks!?

53: he’s everywhere

54: bitchless era

55: good luck (you need it)

56: the artist named “….”

57: bye boyfie

58: love confessions

59: yn the widow

60: scara the widower

61: NOW NOW NOW

62: TAY

63: PAC-MAN

64: horrible people

65: pussy

66: big fan

67: what about us?

68: ten kids confirmed

69: crashing down

70: sleeping beauty

71: Goodbye Moon

72: new you new me

73: rattled cages

74: Better luck next time

75: Here Goes

76: Therefore, you and me

77: communication is key

78: the art of love

79: last show

80: thoma ache

81: masked singer

82: think about it

83: haters gonna hate

84: mamas boy

85: you hafta

86: it’s over

87: 2 brothers 2 men

88: Yns Mona Lisa

89: star

90: horn dog

91: win or lose

92: fight club

93: warmth

94: This is Life

95: Epilogue

[mellifluousmalfoy]

cyclamen. // tom riddle x reader.

warnings; death, angst, a lot of it. sorry.

i listened to once more to see you by mitski quite a lot while writing this over the course of two years. i sincerely hope you enjoy this piece.

wc; 7.3k

It felt as though the world had grown silent as this monster stood in front of my peers and I, announcing the death of our classmate who was our last hope.

I glanced around the courtyard that was now in ruins and watched as all hope and faith was drained from my peers. My ears rang as I watched as the monster's lips moved, but I couldn't seem to hear a thing. My sight blurred as I lost track of what was happening around me.

Harry Potter was dead.

I could barely comprehend what was happening around me, only feeling a cold hand take hold of mine, dragging me through the bustling crowd. I noticed it was McGonagall herself holding my hand, not even taking a glance back at me as she continued to drag me deeper into the castle.

We came to a stop at one of the few classrooms that were still intact and she dragged me in before shutting the door tightly behind her. I came to and realised that all of the few teachers were there along with a few parents.

A lot of hushed whispers filled the room as Professor McGonagall tried to calm them down. The room turned quiet after she muttered something that had their shoulders relaxing even if it was only a little bit, but now they all turned to me.

McGonagall cleared her throat before finally addressing me, “(L/N), I’m sure you’re confused as to why we have brought you here,” she paused, stepping toward me before continuing, “but with Harry’s death we have turned to a new plan, a plan given by Dumbledore.”

She touched at her pocket, hinting at the contents in it before she pulled out a piece of parchment that was neatly folded, sealed with bright red wax and the Hogwarts crest. She handed the parchment to me without much hesitation.

I felt confused. Out of all the students in my school, why me? I wasn’t the brightest, and I was definitely not important like a few of my classmates were. I was but a shadow to the rest of the school, yet this was assigned to me of all people.

I tore the red wax with shaky hands and slowly unfolded the paper. The letter left me in awe. Surely they hadn’t expected me to go through with this, right? I had never expected them to send me back in time, nevertheless to kill Voldemort himself. Of course, under the guise of enamouring him.

Again I asked, why me?

Before I could understand what was happening, a potion was handed to me, and I was given strict instructions on consumption by Slughorn. You will not be able to return until the mission is complete.

And before I knew it, I swallowed the potion per Slughorn’s instruction, a letter addressed to the past Dumbledore in hand.

I swallowed the lump in my throat before making my way to the DADA classroom, where McGonagall assured me Dumbledore would be at this hour, whatever hour it was in the past.

The door was ajar so I walked myself in, coming face to face with a slightly more youthful version of my past Headmaster. He glanced up from his work at the sound of someone entering, and he observed me with a curious eye.

I stood silently in the doorway, playing with the letter that was still held tightly in my hands.

“You’re not from here, are you?” His voice broke me out of my daze. He spoke up again after gazing over my confused expression, “This time, perhaps?”

Shock glazed over my face as he simply stared at me, amused.

“H-How did you-“

“You wear a Hogwarts uniform, but not of this era.” His reply was assertive and knowing, “And you seem rather shocked to see me.”

I couldn’t bring it in myself to say, Well, you see you were the headmaster of the school that everyone had idolised, you were loved by everyone, even your worst foes. Oh, and you were killed by one of the people who loved you most!

I simply sighed in defeat before picking up the courage and stepping closer to him until I reached his desk, handing the letter to his hand which was already held out to take it.

He read over the letter, expression barely changing, but it was all in his eyes. Bewilderment, shock, hurt.

Once he had finished reading, he refolded the letter before glancing up at me, “And you’re sure to achieve this? You’re ready to accept the consequences?”

I sighed shakily, pulling at my fingers before replying, “Yes, Professor.”

-

After having been privately sorted, Dumbledore escorted me to the Great Hall where everyone seemed to be eating dinner. Everything looked so, for lack of a better term, old. The Great Hall appeared exactly the same as it did when I first stepped into the large building in my first year.

But my first year is fifty years from now. Fifty years Voldemort would be a ruthless monster. Voldemort- Tom- was in this very room, and I could feel every hair on my body stand at that very thought.

Dumbledore nudged me towards my house table, and I quickly sat down so as not to grab any attention, but I could feel everyone staring, and they have every right to. Why would a seventh year be starting now? Why not start in their first year?

I laughed at the thought. Of course, I had discussed this with Dumbledore, and he had said I should stay under the guise of an exchange student from a school such as Durmstrang or Beauxbatons, and I quickly agreed.

I was to be a distant niece of his who had been living with his great aunt, and I moved with him after her death. He "thought" it to be convenient for the both of us if I attended Hogwarts for my last year.

I snapped to reality when my plate was somehow emptied, and a pair of polished neat black shoes showed up in my peripheral vision. I glanced up at the new face and was met with dark brown, almost black, eyes.

I studied every feature of his face and found that he was dashing, an incredibly pristine handsome face. His pale skin contrasted with his pitch-black hair and highlighted the gold specks that could barely be seen in his dark eyes. As my eyes raked down to his neck, there was a Slytherin tie tied to perfection that lay so elegantly on his freshly ironed white button-down which could be seen under his grey vest which had green accents that complimented the bright hue of his tie. And on his robe, the head boy badge shone a bright hue of gold.

His chest was puffed out and everything about him screamed as if he thought he was superior to everyone in this room.

Before I knew it, I was staring, and the stranger could tell. I turned red at the realisation that he had caught me staring. He cleared his throat before introducing himself, "You're the new seventh year that Dumbledore mentioned," his voice was monotone, sly and low, "he had instructed me to show you around and to your common room, as the head boy, I gladly took this duty."

He spoke with as much confidence as he walked with. He knew he had charm, and he knew how to use it. I simply nodded in reply, not wanting to tell him I knew these halls like the back of my hand.

"Well," he drew out impatiently, turning to leave the bustling hall, "come on then."

I stood up clumsily, "Oh, sorry," before scattering to follow him as he exited the hall.

Once I had caught up to him we mostly walked in silence, occasionally pointing out different parts of the school such as the library, and the various bathrooms. He had shared small histories about the building that I had learnt in my third year but had long forgotten. Once we came to a stop in front of my common room door I awkwardly turned to face him, "By the way," I shuffled on my feet as I tried my best to hold eye contact with the cold but devilishly handsome man, "I'm (L/n). (Y/n) (L/n)."

He stared at me, back straight as ever, not a stray hair in sight, "Pleasure," he paused, leaning down to reach my height, "Riddle. Tom Riddle."

My ears began to ring, my world began to turn; The handsome stranger was the man who killed Harry Potter.

I swallowed back a shaky breath, nodding softly at him, before turning towards the entrance, and stepping into the familiar room. I could feel his eyes bore holes into the back of my head; he obviously read my body language and saw my reaction to his name.

My world continued to spin even after the entrance closed on his dark brown eyes, and suddenly I felt sick and could no longer stomach my dinner.

-

"You must be really good at adapting to your surroundings," Augusta Crouch, my herbology seatmate and self-assigned tour guide, chirped brightly from beside me. She had somehow managed to find out that we had almost all our classes together, "it almost seems as though you know the place better than I-"

I turned confusedly at the sudden end to her normally long rants and turned to the direction that she stared at like a deer in headlights. I caught the gaze of those familiar dark eyes and fought the urge to turn pale at the sight of him. Just the thought of him repulsed me, and somehow, I was supposed to seduce the monster.

He leaned nonchalantly against the wall, directly across from the Transfiguration classroom. He raised an eyebrow as I held his gaze with shielded eyes before standing up properly, back as straight as a ruler, "We have Charms together. Shall I accompany you both?"

Augusta slowly released my arm and I begged Merlin for her to hold on before gesturing towards the opposite direction of Charms, "I am actually on my way to the library, Charms is a soft option in my opinion," I knew she had failed her Charms O.W.L because she had been complaining about it to me earlier, "I'll see you later, (L/n)."

I nodded silently before I met those dark eyes once again. He held out his arm and I forced myself to link mine to his, and so we set off to Charms.

"How exactly was it that you knew we had Charms together but Augusta didn't?" I asked before I could hold my tongue, all muscles in my body were tense whenever I was near him.

"As head boy, I ensure that all students are happy and comfortable." He stated with that charming blank smile that had all the professors swooning.

As soon as we arrived at Charms, I ran out of his arms and situated myself in a seat with a housemate that seemed familiar enough. I sighed to myself as I thought over how ridiculous I have been the past few days I've attended this olden Hogwarts; barely casting a glance to Vold- Tom- but being friendly enough so as not to raise any suspicions. To anyone on the outside, they would assume I was simply playing "hard to get", which was true since I did not want to be "gotten" by this man- boy at this stage- but that was beside the point. I had a mission, and I was sure to complete it.

I bit my lip and decided to suck it up with that determination in mind. I turned to where I assumed Tom would be sitting, found the seat next to him unoccupied, and rushed to sit next to him. He raised an eyebrow at my odd sudden change in behaviour but chose not to comment on it, for which I was grateful. I settled at the table and pulled out the equipment we needed for the class- which Dumbledore picked up for me thankfully- and acted as if I wasn't behaving strangely.

I muddled over what I had to do to grow close with this cold man slowly but surely. Putting on my best frown of confusion halfway through the class, I turned to him, "Tom," he perked up at his name, surprised we were already on a first-name basis but simply raised an eyebrow in my direction, "what exactly does this mean? We weren't taught this material at Beauxbatons."

"Weren't taught one of the most basics of basics in Charms?" He raised an eyebrow at me incredulously, and though I didn't appreciate the passive aggression behind his tone, I ignored it and continued to play dumb and shrugged. He sighed and although I could see he didn't exactly, believe me, he proceeded to explain it to me, and with that, he concluded that he needed much more time than what was left in Charms because he gave me a time and location before I could ask any more questions, claiming "A tutor session will do you some good, (L/n)."

Now the plan was in motion, all I had to do was go along with it.

-

Spending time with Tom hadn't proved to be as difficult as I had assumed. He was pleasant company if you didn't think hard about what he was sure to become- and it was just that. He wasn't Voldemort at this point in time, not yet at least. However, when the occasion came up, I'd see a glimpse of what a true monster Tom could be. Like the time he had ridiculed a third-year for bumping into my side, eyes growing black as if he was taken over by another soul. Or the time he had deducted points from a Hufflepuff second-year for spilling pumpkin juice on his lap; if looks could kill, that poor second-year would be good as dead. Now that I think about it, not a day has gone by in the past five weeks of my stay where Tom wasn't here, next to me.

It was strange, how quickly I had adapted to his presence. Though I would never want to admit it, he was definitely growing on-

"(L/n), aren't you listening to what I'm saying?" Augusta sneered, glancing over at me in irritation, muttering curses under her breath.

I simply sent her a smile of apology, I knew she was growing impatient with my constant daydreams and I was grateful for her short patience but continuing to deal with me, "Sorry, what was that Augusta?"

"Well, you see," Augusta started, getting comfortable in her seat and leaning forward like she was about to share the latest gossip of the moment, which was definitely true from the glint in her eye, "apparently, Golden Head Boy is going to Hogsmeade this weekend."

I raised an eyebrow at her, quite disappointed at the dull gossip, leaning back in my seat to continue eating my breakfast, "And why should that be important to me?"

"Oh come on," Augusta loudly scoffed, quieting down when a few heads snapped in her direction before mumbling under her breath, "you definitely fancy Riddle."

This was my goal, wasn't it? To deceive and convince everyone, including Tom, that I genuinely fancied him.

I simply shrugged at her statement, "What does that have to do with Hogsmeade?"

I continued to play dumb as Augusta rolled her eyes, "Well, he never goes out to Hogsmeade. I'm thinking our broody head boy is going to ask a little lady on a date."

I turned a bright red, something I hadn't realised could happen to me, Augusta grinned nudging my side, head nodding over discreetly toward where I knew Slytherin's table was situated. And now, I could feel it; his stare boring into the side of my cheek as my cheeks turned an unhealthy shade of red as I continued to stare at Augusta, not daring to look towards his burning gaze.

"Don't be stupid," I spat embarrassedly, cheeks slightly cooled down as I reached for my cold glass of pumpkin juice, "you don't know what you're talking about, Gussie. Besides, I'm sure he doesn't fancy me back."

I watched her deflate and grumble in irritation before we both turned back toward our forgotten breakfasts. This was all part of my goal, so why did my stomach churn in guilt at the thought of going on a date with him?

-

I huffed as I raised my bag on my shoulder, I was definitely late. I grumbled as I rounded a corner and bumped into a first-year, muttering an apology before walking as fast as I could in the crowded hall to the library. I thanked Merlin once the doors of the library came into sight and pushed through the sea of students, walking through the maze-like library before coming to a halt before a very irritated Tom who raised an eyebrow at the sight of me, "You're late."

I held back an eye roll, no shit Sherlock, "I'm sorry, Slughorn really knows how to talk doesn't he?"

I sighed in relief as he softened at that, the anger slowly flowing off his shoulders as he got situated in his seat, "He does tend to talk an ear off every once in a while."

It was strange, to have a bond with him. Though, barely a bond at that. I was slowly warming up to him and vice versa. If I didn't think so hard about how he would eventually become a child murderer, he was quite nice company.

Tom was the type of person who could sit in silence and not feel the urge to fill it, a quality I very much appreciated in him. Most of our tutoring sessions were like this, spent in silence with the occasional question every now and then.

We had been meeting for a few weeks now, and it was nearing the end of the first term. I was shocked at how quick the term had gone, it wasn't too different from my time in school, though the generation gap could definitely be felt, it didn't impact my everyday life in this timeline.

I snapped out of my daze, flushing a bright Fuschia, realising I had been staring at Tom a little too long, and he brightened at the obvious fact I was, smirking slightly at my flustered state. I scrambled to the seat across from him, pulling out the parchment containing my unfinished Potions essay prompting me to focus on the essay to distract myself. I heard him chuckle under his breath before seeing him turn back to his essay from the corner of my eye.

Just as I was finishing the introduction to my conclusion, I noticed from the corner of my vision Tom's head perking up as he, what I assumed to be, gained whatever ounce of courage he could grasp. I braced myself internally, already knowing what was coming as I solely focused on the sound of his knee bouncing nervously under the table. It was strange. In the weeks I have known Tom, he never got nervous. Never.

Knowing that he was nervous because of me, made the knot of guilt in my stomach tighter. My head snapped up as he cleared his throat, his way of gaining my attention in all of our study sessions, "Yes, Tom?"

His ears perked up at the sound of his first name, not having yet gotten used to the sound of it being uttered by another student, no matter how close they were. It was always Riddle, and from his reaction, albeit barely anything, he liked hearing it from my lips.

"Tom?" I inquired, growing nervous at his silence. Maybe I had been wrong, he would not be asking me to Hogsmeade. After all, when had Augusta's gossip ever been reliable-

"You know of Hogsmeade, yes?" I smiled at his question, internally giggling like a little girl at how cute he was being.

"Perhaps,"

"Precisely, we shall visit the village this weekend," he paused briefly, "together."

"Are you ordering me around, Riddle?" I jokingly asked, watching as his nerves slowly kicked in and he rushed to his own defence, the walls he had built so high slowly becoming higher, and before he could utter another word I cut in, "Don't fret, Tom. I would love to attend Hogsmeade with you this weekend."

He grumbled at my teasing but softly smiled in victory at my agreeance.

-

I fidgeted with my hands nervously as I waited at the entrance of Hogwarts. I had never been so nervous in my life, not even when I went on a date with Dean Thomas and Merlin, I liked him a lot. I wasn't too sure why I was so nervous about this date. I knew the twist in my stomach wasn't guilt, but instead described by muggles as butterflies, and the thought made me sick. It was now the middle of October, the air was crisper, the leaves were starting to change to a beautiful shade of orange, and my breath could be seen because of how cold it was. Merlin, could Tom get here any faster?

"You came early?" The sudden entrance of Tom's soft voice had caused me to jump, he seemed amused by my reaction, barely squeezing out a grin, "I didn't mean to frighten you, (L/n)."

A major habit I had noticed of Tom was that he hardly ever said the words "I'm sorry" and "thank you". It left a bitter taste in my mouth knowing this, and suddenly the butterflies stopped fluttering in my stomach as reality struck me once again. He is and always will be a monster.

"It's okay, Tom," I said quietly, silently glancing down at my shoes and the fallen orange leaves that littered the ground, "Shall we go then?"

And off we went into the village of Hogsmeade.

-

After our date, if you could even call it that, Tom seemed much more relaxed to be around me. Though, I knew there was a side of him that he had yet to show me. The same side I was to extinguish within him, to remove the darkness and succeed in my mission of saving the very people I loved back in my own time. Tom still had many secrets he had yet confided in me, and I was growing impatient.

As weeks passed by, Tom gradually became more absent in my life, which was a change from spending every day together. He was acting strange and worried me. I sat in my dorm, away from the hustle and bustle of the common room, situated at my desk as I revised my potions essay. Sure, I do not actually have to do the work, but it felt nice to finally be a normal student again. Not having to live in fear of dark wizards, simply studying for the big exams that are to happen at the end of this school year, and not having to worry about my family at home or for my schoolmates. I was safe here.

I was snapped out of my daze of delusion by pecking at my window I glanced up to see a familiar owl, and I was quick to open my window and let the bird in. I hadn't heard from Tom since yesterday's lunch and I was growing worried about his absence. Had he grown suspicious? Did he not wish to pursue me anymore?

I pushed away my fears as I unravelled the scroll Tom had so neatly tied with a silver ribbon.

"Meet me at the astronomy tower, I wish to see you."

A simple sentence had never made me so nervous before. The twist of nerves in my stomach when I had been told of the war could barely compare to the fire that Tom Riddle had just let off in my head. It was past curfew, he knew this. I went over the chances of being caught by the warden and shivered. Maybe tonight he would confess his feelings for you, I shrugged off my thoughts of delusion and quickly moved to change my clothing; I could not let Tom see me in my pyjamas.

As I pulled on a warm jacket and some gloves, winter was heavily kicking in as November came to an end. I sighed as I slowly climbed down the steps that led to the common room and slowly made my way to the exit. I glanced both ways before setting off in the halls, I could not be caught. My pace picked up until I was essentially running to the astronomy tower, desperate to know just why Tom had summoned me so late in the night.

I came to a stop at the top of the stairs leading up to the astronomy tower and quickly found Tom leaning against the railing. I stopped to catch my breath quietly, hoping he hadn't heard my heavy breathing out of embarrassment.

He stood in glorious silence. To this point, I had never seen a beauty that could compare to him, a rose would shy away at the sight. His pale skin glowed under the moonlight of the full moon, cheeks softly kissed by the cold, the pink skin I so desperately wanted to caress, to keep it away from the bite of the winter frost. My mouth stood agape as I soaked in his presence, not wanting to tear my eyes away from the pink that blushed his cheeks. When my eyes dropped to his lips, I almost stumbled over my own feet. Never in the weeks I had been here had I wanted to kiss Tom as much as I had wanted at this moment.

"Tom?" I barely squeaked out as he finally acknowledged my presence. His raven hair bounced softly as his head turned in my direction.

He simply sat down, not yet saying anything as I took that as a cue to join his side. I kept a small distance between us, I knew he didn't really enjoy it when his space was invaded. I ignored the way he glanced at me at that and instead waited for him to speak.

He seemed conflicted, I knew he had to be if he were as absent as he was. He was lost in his head, though his expression had been set in stone, I had never seen eyes so vulnerable. I quietly reached for his hand that sat between us, surprised at how cold they were, resting my hand over his to comfort him in whatever mental battle he seems to be having at this moment.

"What do you wish for the future?" His question surprised me, that was the last thing I expected to leave those lovely red lips.

"I never expected you to dwell on such questions, Tom." And that was the truth. From the start, Tom seemed like a realist, not one to dwell on the what-ifs of the world.

"I don't," he paused, clearly now deep in thought as he slowly entwined our fingers, "as graduation approaches, I think of what my true ambitions are; what I want from this lifetime."

"Oh," and that was all I felt I could say. I didn't know what exactly when wanted my answer to be. Would it change anything? A question I so desperately wished to ask. Would my answer save the lives lost?

I closed my eyes, reminding myself this was Tom. My Tom.

My eyes opened and the darkness of Hogwarts momentarily consumed me as I zeroed in on those dark orbs. Tom consumed me as he held my gaze for what felt like an eternity. Swimming through pools of tar, drowning in the thick substance; suffocating, slow but deep and passionate. His eyes reflected his soul almost perfectly; dull, dark, naive.

To remember the humanity in Tom feels almost inhumane, yet here I was under the November moonlight, drowning in the deep passionate pools of Tom Riddle.

"I'm not too sure," my voice managed to conjure a sentence, my brain a mess yet my heart speaking, "but, this is nice."

Tom seemingly softened at that, not so much his body; his shoulders remained frigid, his knees tight and his knuckles white. But his eyes, his eyes spoke his deepest fears, his deepest desires. The hardness they once held melted slightly at that moment, and that feeling lingered in my stomach as I continued to drown in his gaze. He hummed, in what I think was agreement, as we sat in silence soaking in the moment, "This is nice."

-

Winter had completely settled across the horizon of the Highlands as the full force of the unsightliness of winter came across Hogwarts harshly. The land was painted white, almost as if a thick layer of wool had settled across the whole of the school grounds. Winter was my favourite season in the school year; shorter days called for longer nights of sleep, and colder days called for warm teas around the fireplace.

Winter also brought about a certain coldness, a darkness that consumed the lands, the songbird no longer being heard across the campus as you roamed, only the echo of your footsteps sounded. That was all I heard now, my footsteps echoing as if I was followed, but I knew the sound all too well, the scrape of my sole against the ground, the uneven tempo of my feet as they pattered across the halls. I hated the silence brought about the halls, especially at night.

Meeting with Dumbledore, especially under my circumstances, was not uncommon for me for the duration of this school year, but as winter break fast approached, a plan of sorts would need to be compiled. Where I'd be staying for the break, and further details according to Dumbledore.

As I came to a stop outside of the Professor's office, I braced myself before knocking thrice. The door swung open as Dumbledore stood at the opposite wall of the room, "Good evening, (L/n)."

"Professor," I acknowledged as I walked before his large desk, taking note of the door shutting on its own behind me. Well, I thought, not on its own.

"I assume you are curious as to why I called for you at this hour,"

"I can't say I'd be surprised Professor," he smiled softly at the jest, gesturing to a chair behind me as he sat in his own.

"I was not wrong," referring to his letter from the future laying upward on the desk, "your skills of Occlumency are prodigious, as you must see as is Tom with his Legilimency."

"The most talented I've encountered, sir." My reply sounded almost empty, dull. I understood now why Dumbledore of the future was so insistent on my participation, and I see why Dumbledore of the past too trusted within my ability. Not often you hear of a brain impenetrable by that of Lord Voldemort.

"I see your efforts with Tom seem to be fruitful," he said, almost carefully, "your efforts are not wasted, especially for Riddle. After all, it is okay to feel, you see."

I hardened at his words, my shoulders growing rigid as he spoke, "It is my mission after all, Sir."

"(Y/n), that is not-"

"Do not worry, sir. This mission will not be one I will fail for you; saving my friends, my family is of utmost importance."

He paused, watching me almost methodically as he pondered for a beat. He held my gaze, watching silently before letting out a hum, "I see, as you were, (L/n)."

My stomach turned as I returned to my bed for the night, most definitely from guilt, I just didn't know why I felt guilty. For Tom? My friends in the future? My family? Dumbledore?

I felt helpless, with everyone's future in my hands, the lines of rationality and irrationality blurred as my reality began to distort, and yet all I could think about was Tom. What is it I want from this lifetime?

His question rang in my head, from the moment I left the office, to the moment I laid to rest.

-

Entertaining the mere thought of liking Tom had slowly become an easier task. Growing comfortable with the idea, albeit not ideal, was a part of the process, of falling with Tom. Falling for someone is similar to that of a trust fall, the other would be there to catch you, and to trust the other you must catch them when they fall. To fall for someone is to trust them with your soul and wholeheartedly feel it is reciprocated. And so, even if just for a little, I'll let myself fall for Tom; ulterior motives or not.

Falling for Tom smells like pine trees, feels like a warm summer breeze, and the naivety that once glimmered in his eyes has saturated me. Falling for Tom sounds like rough waves slamming against a cliffside, the seaspray gently caressing my face as he washes over me.

Is this what I want from my lifetime? I'm unsure.

The Black Lake is vast and dark, as though it could swallow the sun whole, leaving us in the darkness. The surface is disturbed, one, two, three, "Bugger!"

My head snaps to Tom as he reaches for another flat stone. He catches my gaze and quickly raises an eyebrow as he readies his arm to skip a stone yet again, "Amazed?"

I bit my tongue and held a smile at his sarcasm, "Your talents never cease to baffle me, Tom."

His ears wiggled at the sound of his name, and I thought of a conversation I once had with Dumbledore, "Is it true no one calls you that?"

His brows furrowed and his head tilted softly to the side, not understanding my question. Seeing his confusion, I ask again, "Tom, I mean. Does no one call you that?"

As my eyes fell over him once again, I noticed he was not looking beyond the horizon, everywhere but me it seemed. In his lowest voice, "Well," he paused, clearing his throat so his voice came out clearly; assertive, "it's because I don't let anyone call me that. It's quite simple."

I paused for a beat as I pondered, "You let me."

Not so much a question, more so a comfortable statement. I watched as his shoulders shrugged softly in the corner of my eye. I knew why others hadn't called him Tom, he had no clue of my knowledge, but the fact hurt, knowing what he not only thought of his father, but himself.

"You never asked," my stomach turned at that. Had I not asked? I felt almost foolish, foolish at my comfortableness, at my relaxed state around him, I hadn't yet asked-

"You didn't-" he stopped, it was the first I had ever heard any type of fumble fall from his lips, "You didn't need to," he looked almost frantic, frantic for Tom that is, "ask, that is."

I smiled as his eyes met mine for the first time, and I was drowning again.

-

As I had returned to my dorm for the night, a neat scroll was waiting for me at my window, neatly tied with a silver bow, it was easy to guess who it was from, and even easier to guess the contents. I barely had time to open the note before I threw on my shoes and headed off into the dark comfort of the halls of Hogwarts.

The astronomy tower creaked louder than the Whomping Willow as I approached, and the harsh winds pinched at my cheeks and nose, I could barely imagine how cold Tom would have been. He had confided after a few visits here that he would often wait here for hours as he couldn't really predict what time I'd return to my dorm. With that thought in tow, I ran up the stairs to the best of my ability.

Tom stood beneath the moonlight in all his glory. Although, a dark cloud hung over him. Many would simply think of it as evil, the evil that is so inherently entrenched in him, it could be anything but. This darkness, was a darkness that consumed him, the vast darkness that would consume the light that shone from him.

As I reached the summit, Tom glanced over at the sound of my sole scuffing against the top step, my staggered breaths filling the room. He visibly relaxed at the sight of me, probably having thought I was danger.

"You're here," yet again, another statement. Most of our nights started similarly; simple. That was one of my favourite traits of Tom, his simplicity was a naivety that has been of great solace; a contrast from the life of constant fear and spontaneity I once lived. I hummed before taking my place next to him as I had many nights before.

We had come to talk, we always do. Tonight felt different, the burden he seemed to carry with himself every day seemed to feel like the world on his shoulders at this very moment. He looked fragile, vulnerable almost. His shoulders sunk in like a small puppy, abandoned with no care. After a long silence, Tom spoke out in a loud voice, as if to convince himself he was confident rather than me, "My name,"

"It belongs to my father," he paused for a while as if waiting for questions, but I already knew all the answers, I knew who he was.

"My father," his voice shook as he took a ragged breath, "was a muggleborn. That is why I despise my name. It was from his filthy bloodline of which I obtained that name."

"Tom.." My voice cracked softly as his eyes turned black, he looked as if he was almost in a frenzy, his hair out of place, his eyes frantic, saliva swinging from his red lips.

"My weak, pathetic mother named me after him." His eyes were now red as he refused to meet my gaze, "Not even he wanted me. Yet, here I am," his breaths accelerated, "a spitting image of him, of her stupidity. Her naivety."

"Strangely enough," now he met my eyes. Tom has the fiercest of eyes I've ever to lay eyes upon, and to see those very orbs shattered. It is a pain indescribable, "I've grown to like it. Used to hearing it. I would want to hear you say it as often as I could."

I was unsure of what he was asking, whether it was my hand, my friendship, my companionship. But none of that mattered to me, not anymore. I reached for his hand that settled between us, "Okay, Tom."

His demeanour changed in that of an instant, his hand moved from under mine as he turned to me now fully, "I wish to tell you something."

It was only now that he faced me that I saw how weak he looked. I instinctively reached for his cheek, his cheekbone protruding as I brushed my thumb across it. My mouth opened and closed as I searched for the words.

"I have been strongly thinking about that conversation we had," he paused, looking into my eyes for recognition and continuing once he had seen it, "about the future."

"I suppose, you have heard of the rumours," for a moment, I wish I didn't, I wish I could play stupid and be betrayed by Tom, be shocked by the revelation of his darkness. Darkness I know all too well, "I am here to say they are true."

It seemed as if the wind had stopped and the howling of the tower had been silenced, a pin could drop.

"All of them. Myrtle, Hagrid- All of it." Here Tom was confessing his sins before me, searching for relief, for atonement for the hurt he had caused. Sitting before me, kneeling before me with his big, dark, naive eyes.

"Even," he paused as he took a deep breath, "those of the horcrux. Horcruxes, there are two. Were two."

His eyes met mine again, and I was drowning all again, though this time felt real. The water was in my lungs suffocating me, and I was running out of time, "I would give it all up- I have given it all up. That is not what I want to do with my lifetime. I'm not really too sure what I want to do,"

He took my hand in his this time, clutching my right hand in both as if I were as gentle as a feather, as fragile as glass.

My left hand gripped tightly at my wand as I brushed my thumb along the back of his hand, unable to meet his gaze, tears obscuring my vision. This is all too much.

"It seems that I may have started to," my ears started to ring, "possess certain feelings for you, (L/n)." My heart was thumping in my ears at the announcement. It is too much, no.

“When we had first met," he paused, calculating his every word as I gripped my wand tightly in my hand, "why was it that you flinched at the mention of my name? You wouldn't a clue as to who I am, wouldn't you (Y/n)?"

His question caused me to tense up, my grip somehow getting tighter on my wand I felt as if it may break in my grasp, “You cannot do this to me!”

His booming voice caused me to flinch, jumping back at the sudden loud voice, “Tom-“

“No. You don’t understand, (Y/n). I gave up the dark path that was destined for me, to love you, to ensure that I could be the perfect man you wanted- no, needed. I haven’t the heart to believe that you cannot do the same for me.” His words tugged at the knot of guilt deep in my stomach, clawing at the knot in order to untie it, for me to succumb to his wishes and stay here, to not fulfil my mission, to love him to my fullest ability.

"I sacrificed everything for you.." Tom choked, his voice barely above a whisper, and his tone ate away at the guilt in my stomach. I swallowed the lump in my throat and pushed down the guilt that threatened to flood out, "I destroyed myself for you."

His shout made me flinch. The betrayal, the pain in his voice almost made me regret it all. He had trusted me. Trusted me enough to destroy the few Horcruxes he had which he made and destroyed with his own hands. He had let his walls down and let me into his heart, his bed, his arms.

I couldn't say a word, I knew if I opened my mouth I'd regret what I was going to do, "You're a monster. A cruel monster. I should've seen through your facade, under your skin. And, like a fool, I thought I was deserving of your love."

It was never a facade, I so badly wanted to yell at his red eyes. His weak state made this feel so easy. I never wanted to admit it to myself, but I loved Tom Riddle. I loved his smile, his wittiness, his charm. If so for a moment, I'd lay my guard down. I peeled back the tall wall I had built, brick by brick. If even for a moment, I wish for Tom to feel my love. To be loved to the fullest of my potential, the full force of the lifetime love I harboured for him. For Tom, my Tom.

But now, that love amounted to nothing.

And so I raised my wand and muttered that sickly unforgivable curse.

[instantmilktee]

Exactly!!! i have my dn playlist loaded with breakcore specifically with L in mind

dumb spicy take: L does not listen to math rock or alternative or indie pop. He doesn’t listen to mitski or cavetown

He listens exclusively to hyperpop-ified tchaikovsky bc it overstimulates his brain and stops him from thinking

[shmaptainwrites]

𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 [𝐅𝐈𝐓𝐙𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐌 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐘]

PAIRINGS —  Fitzwilliam Darcy x fem!Reader

SUMMARY —  Referred by a close family friend, reader finds herself a job tutoring a lovely young girl and begins to form an unlikely connection with her older brother

WARNINGS — slight angst, non main character death, breastfeeding (non descriptive, idk if this i need a warning for this but)

NOTE — okay so I know some of my fics in the past got kinda niche with concepts and some characters but honestly I think we’re entering a new era with that, but either way I hope those of you who like P&P enjoy this just as much as I do :) also I wrote this with Colin Firth’s Darcy in mind but I think it could just as well work with Matthew MacFayden’s (This can be considered to happen after his proposal to Lizzie but like if they didn’t end up working out)

You tried desperately to shake off the nerves that overcame you, it was not like this was the first wealthy family you had tutored for, but something about Pemberley just seemed so out of your grasp. You had received the position only through an old colleague who was moving to Scotland to be nearer to his family and had communicated with your employer via mail. From what your friend had shared his former boss wasn’t one who was warm and open, he might even be considered a little standoffish, but all he wanted was what was best for his younger sister who you would be tutoring. 

He’s a good man, he’s just maybe not as warm as you’re used to. 

And according to friends you were used to a lot warmer than most. Your father was never shy showing his affection to his children and you all loved him more for it, but it seemed to make you just a little off put with the way everyone acted in such a closed off society. 

With one final deep breath you knocked and the door was almost immediately opened by one of the servants. 

“I-I’m here to see Mr. Darcy,” you explained. “I’m the new tutor for Miss Darcy.” 

“Yes, Miss (L/N) is it?” 

“Yes, ma’am,” you gave her a polite smile. 

“Right this way, Mr. Darcy is in his office.” 

You followed the housekeeper inside and had to keep yourself from gasping at the beauty of Pemberley’s interior. 

After your presence was announced to Mr. Darcy, you were allowed to enter the room and gave a quick curtsey to get the formalities over with. 

“Mr. Darcy, it’s nice to finally meet you in person,” 

The man nodded, but offered no response. 

“I am assuming you have gone over the subjects I would like Georgiana to go over?” 

“Yes sir,” you nodded and bit the inside of your cheek. It was your job, why wouldn’t you have done that? 

“Very well, then that will be the extent of our dealings today. Someone will take your to Georgiana so you can meet her and being your studies,” 

“Thank you, sir,” 

Hamish was right, Mr. Darcy was not as warm as you were used to.

The lady who had shown you to Mr. Darcy beckoned you to follow her again and took you down the long halls and up the grand staircase which took you to the young Miss Darcy. 

When you saw her she was hunched over what looked like a piece of sheet music, making various annotations and comments in the margins. You remembered a younger version of yourself doing something similar to remind yourself of where there needed to be extra emphasis on things. 

Georgiana Darcy had a quiet shyness even just to the way she carried herself, but in that way she reminded you of your younger sister closest to you in age. She was maybe a year or so older than Georgiana and even from having barely known her a few moments you knew if they were ever to meet they would be great friends. 

“Ma’am,” Georgiana looked up and noticed you in the room, quickly shuffling away her papers while introductions were made. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” you smiled. “I’m close friends with Mr. Morrison, he’s told me a lot about you.” 

“You know Mr, Morrison? I was so sad to hear he was moving so far away,” Georgiana sighed. “He was a very engaging tutor,” 

“I hope I can live up to his standard,” you chuckled. “Your older brother gave me the impression that you’re prepared to begin your lesson today.” 

“I am,” she confirmed. “I was hoping we could start with something a little lighter though, but knowing my brother and his curriculum that might be impossible.” 

“He does have very high hopes for you,” you noted. “He mentioned to me in one of his letters he hopes for you to have the tools to be a smart, capable, and independent young lady.” 

“As long as being independent doesn’t mean being sad and alone,,” she giggled. “Come, I have a space set up in another room for lessons.” 

Georgiana took your hand and dragged you off to her study room, decorated by he you assumed, with flowers, paintings and lots and lots of books. There was even another piano in the corner of the room and she gauged your reaction to the space. 

“It’s beautiful,” you grinned. “You did this all yourself?” 

“Aside from moving the piano, yes,” she nodded. “But I told them where to put it and my brother helped me pick out the paintings.” 

“Well, you both have very good taste,” you praised. “Which might be a rather nice segue into our first lesson,” 

“Are we going to paint?” Georgiana asked, she even looked a little excited. 

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but unfortunately not. It’s a review of art history, but I promise I’ll try to make it as bearable as possible,” 

“I trust you,” Georgiana smiled and sat down at the table. “As long as you can keep up with my endless questions we should be in good shape,” 

“I’ll try my best.” 

You smiled as you set down your papers and lesson plans. You would have to send a letter to Hamish because this may just turn out to be the best job you’d ever have. 

—

It had been a few months of you working at Pemberley and you couldn’t have been happier. Your walk to and from the village everyday was a little long, but it was worth it when you had a student like Georgiana. It really felt like you were spending time with your younger sister and you thought she maybe even came to see you as an older sibling. 

You had only really spent a handful of moments with Mr. Darcy and most of the pleasant ones involved his younger sister. You hadn’t much inclination to spend time with him although you didn’t complain when he came to sit in Georgiana’s study room to observe or read quietly while you went through your lessons with her. 

There was a quiet handsomeness to him and although he was not outwardly warm and fuzzy at least he was like the works of art you would review with Georgiana when discussing sculpting during the Renaissance. 

One afternoon during lunch, you noticed Georgiana was sending her brother some sideways glances, as if she wanted him to say something and when he wasn’t understanding her signals she cleared her throat and turned her attention to you. 

“(Y/N)-,” 

“Georgiana, we’ve spoken about this,” her brother scolded. 

“No, it’s quite alright,” you assured Mr. Darcy. “We’ve made a small agreement to refer to each other by our first names,” you explained. 

“I am well aware of the agreement, but that doesn not change the fact that it demeans your position as her tutor when she refers to you so plainly,” 

“I didn’t think my name was that plain, sir,” you remarked and ate a bite of your salad while Georgiana chuckled. That seemed to silence him so his sister continued. 

“Anyways, I was meaning to ask you about your walk to Pemberley every morning, it must be terrible when the weather is poor.” 

“I must admit it worries me to catch a cold when I should be fit enough to work, but I don’t mind the walk too much,” 

“I believe what my dear sister is trying to express,” Mr. Darcy jumped in. “Is that we’ve cleared a room for you to stay at Pemberley if you wish to do so.” 

“A room here?” you confirmed and Georgiana nodded with a wide smile. “You wouldn’t have to get up so early in the morning anymore and if you’d like to walk you can always do it around the grounds.” 

“T-That’s an incredibly kind offer Mr. Darcy,” you looked at him. “Are you sure this is something you would be alright with in the long term?” 

“I’ve given it extensive thought and it seems to be the best course for Georgiana’s studies and to ensure your continued good health.” 

“Well then, in that case I’d be honoured to accept your offer,” you smiled shyly. “I’ll move my things this weekend.” 

“Fitzwilliam and I can come and help you,” Georgiana suggested. “Can’t we?” 

Mr. Darcy looked at his little sister and you thought you might have caught a flicker of a smile before he nodded his head. 

“We can bring a carriage down and help load it up,”

He very well could have people come and do that for him, but there was something interesting about how he was so casual in accepting the suggestion of his sister. 

You would have assumed helping his younger sister’s tutor move into his home to be something quite beneath him. 

“Thank you, that’s a very kind offer. I’ll be sure to have tea waiting for when you arrive,” 

Georgiana clapped her hands together as if having you move to Pemberley was the best news she’d ever heard. You couldn’t help but wonder if the closed off and distant Mr. Darcy was doing all of this to please his younger sister, but when you took a moment to glance at him you saw how his eyes were already fixed on you and maybe it wasn’t just Georgiana’s doing after all. 

—

Something you would never come to understand was how the gardens of Pemberley were so pristine no matter the time of year. The hedges were perfectly trimmed, flowers beautifully in bloom and never wilted. 

During the summer months it was warm enough to go outside and sit without a jacket by the lake which you enjoyed doing on the weekends, bringing a good book and soaking up as much of the sunlight as you could get. 

You were so engrossed in your novel, oftentimes you wouldn’t notice if someone had come to call on you, or anything around you for that matter. 

So it came as a shock when you heard a voice that was in very close proximity to you, making you jump with fright. 

You placed a hand on your chest to steady your beating heart as you looked up only to find Mr. Darcy there. 

“Oh, Mr. Darcy, I don’t think I’ve been scared like that since… well, it’s been a long while,” you tried to catch your breath and steady it. 

“I apologize,” he said. “Might I ask what has inclined you to sit out here,” 

“Well, the sunlight for one,” you noted. “And a good book which I was reading until I was so frightfully interrupted.” 

“Right,” he nodded. “I should take my leave so you can continue-,” 

“Mr. Darcy I’m afraid you misunderstand me,” you interrupted him with a small chuckle. You were only teasing him,  “If you’d like to join me you're most welcome to. This is, after all, your home.” 

Mr. Darcy lifted his coattails and sat himself down on the grassy knoll next to you, looking out towards the lake. 

“Is your family all in good health?” he inquired. 

“Yes, as of last week they are,” you nodded. 

“You have how many siblings?” 

You took a moment to count on your fingers, whispering the names of each of your sisters and one brother until you had the final count of six. 

“Six, sir. I assume it’s just you and Georgiana?” 

“You are correct in your assumption,” he nodded. 

There was a moment of awkward silence between you both before you figured you would probably have to be the one to break it. 

“I do enjoy myself greatly at Pemberley, I’m very thankful for your hospitality.” 

Still silence, but as if he wasn’t sure how to answer. 

“Mr. Darcy are you alright?” you asked. 

“Quite,” he cleared his throat and nodded. “Yes, I’m quite alright,” 

His eyes drifted over to your book and noticing its title he pointed to it. 

“M-May I?” 

“Of course,” you nodded, sliding in your bookmark and handing the novel to him. His fingers brushed over yours and you could feel your breath hitch at his touch. 

He examined the binding and structure of the book before its contents, scanning the first few pages, but you were too focused on the burning feeling that he left on your fingertips. You gently massaged it away hoping he wouldn’t notice the way you had reacted to such a simple thing, but desire was nothing to be fooled with. 

“H-Has it passed your inspection, Mr. Darcy?” you asked, glancing down at the book, then at him, your hand still folded in your lap. 

“I have no objections,” he agreed. “A fine choice.” 

“I’ve only just started it,” you told him. “I’m rather anxious to see how it ends,” 

He took one last glance at the title as if he wanted to commit it to memory before handing it back to you. 

“I shall look forward to hearing your thoughts on it once you finish,” 

You smiled when he said that, you knew what Hamish had said when you first came to Pemberley, but now that you had been there the greater part of four months you wished to believe that maybe Mr. Darcy did have a soft side. 

“And I shall look forward to conversing with you,” 

You noticed the faintest twitch of his lip as if he was fighting away a smile, but he quickly brushed it off and gave you a polite nod before standing up and wishing you a good day. 

You opened your book back to where you had left off, but your mind was distracted. It was safe to say you didn’t get much further. 

—

“Fitz, you have to help me convince her she’s being very stubborn,” Georgiana eyed you and you tried to focus on eating your dinner. 

“I’m sure Miss (L/N) has a very good reason to not be convinced of whatever it is you’re asking of her,” Mr. Darcy came to your defence. 

“But-,” 

“Georgiana,” her brother warned, but the young lady would not have it. 

“Fitzwilliam,” she mimicked him. “She’s planning on staying bolted up in her room during our ball you have to do something,” 

Mr. Darcy looked up from his plate to you, his hands holding the utensils relaxing as he eyed your curiously. 

“You won’t come to the ball?” he asked. 

“No sir, I was not intending to,” you shook your head. 

“May inquire as to why?” 

“I-I don’t have anything to wear,” you admitted. “And I do not want to make yourselves or myself out of place with the company you shall be hosting,” 

“It would be more cumbersome for us if you weren’t there,” Georgiana tried to convince you. “Most of these balls are out of societal obligation and Fitzwilliam and I would be better off with your company, not without it. Lord knows how much he hates small talk,” 

“Georgiana, now that’s enough,” Mr. Darcy ended whatever was left of the conversation. “Miss (L/N) is a grown woman and can make the decision herself on whether she will attend the ball or not,” 

You thought that would be the end of it and that you would stay in your room with no questions asked, but a few days later when you walked into your room there was an unfamiliar package on the bed. 

You picked it up and unwrapped the carefully folded paper packaging to reveal a beautiful dress, one of the latest fashions from London. Something you could never imagine being able to afford. 

Attached to the package was a note, you quickly unfolded it and read what was written. 

I hope you understand that I only wished to remove any barriers preventing you from joining us next week. The decision is still yours, but I hoped this might help. 

Darcy

You looked down and examined the dress again. It was in a colour you remembered having mentioned — perhaps it was to Georgiana — you liked and the detailing was something like you’d never seen. 

You closed the door to your room and slipped off the dress you were wearing, replacing it with the one from the package instead. 

When you saw your reflection in the mirror you knew then and there you could not let this dress sit away in a closet to be eaten by moths. This dress deserved to be worn. And even though the very thought of it made you sick with nervousness, it deserved to be worn at a ball. 

—

“I cannot tell you how happy I am that you’ve decided to come,” Georgiana linked your arm with hers once you entered Pemberley’s ballroom. 

“It would have been foolish of me to stay in my room with a dress like this,” you looked down at yourself, still unable to believe you were wearing it. 

One of the maids had helped you with your hair, it was in a different style than what you normally wore day to day, but she had done such an amazing job with it you figured it would be hard for people to figure out you didn’t really belong.

Georgiana was your saving grace for a while, helping you start conversations with others and introducing you to their guests, but eventually — just like all good things coming to an end — she was pulled away by one of her friends and you were on your own. 

You poured yourself a glass of punch and stood off in a corner, observing everything that was appening in front of you. 

Georgiana was now dancing with the others and you realized that the whole night you hadn’t caught a glimpse of Mr. Darcy. Your eyes scanned the room for him, but there were so many new faces it was almost becoming dizzying looking through them all. 

“I see you’ve taken my approach to the ball,” 

You jumped at the sound of his voice so near making you spill your punch and staining your new dress. 

“Mr. Darcy,” you gasped. “I hope after this encounter you come to realize how easily I am frightened,” 

“Again, I apologize. It wasn’t my intention to scare you,” he was sincere, but there was a hint of a chuckle in his voice. 

“I’m sure it wasn’t,” you took a deep breath and set down your drink, wiping your hands on a napkin and turning to give him your full attention. “I must say I’m surprised to see you on the sidelines.” 

“I believe Georgiana was ever so kind in mentioning that I detest small talk,” he reminded you. 

“And dancing?” 

“It depends,” he looked straight ahead, his eyes finding Georgiana’s in the crowd. 

“On?” you urged him to continue. 

“Who I’m dancing with.” 

You looked at him thoughtfully before remembering the stain on your dress and you knew there would be no way you could remove it with a little scrub of water alone. 

“I’m afraid you’ll have to excuse me, Mr. Darcy,” you sighed. “It is unfortunately not acceptable to dance in a punch stained dress.” 

“Of course,” he nodded. “Although, Miss (L/N),” 

You turned your head back and looked up at him. 

“Yes?” 

“I would be very grateful if you would allow me to accompany you.” 

“Accompany me?” you confirmed. “To remove the stain from my dress?”

“Yes… or to perhaps mysteriously disappear from my own ball and not return,” he offered and you quickly lifted a hand to cover your mouth and stifle a laugh which finally revealed to you Mr. Darcy’s smile and what a beautiful sight it was. 

“I would be happy for you to accompany me Mr. Darcy,” you nodded and waited a moment for him to catch up the few extra steps to be at the same pace as you while you walked out of the ballroom and towards the bedrooms. 

You could still hear the music faintly in the halls and you admired the peacefulness of it all. 

“Does it ever feel too big?” you asked. 

“Pardon?” 

“Pemberley. Does it ever feel like it’s too big?” you asked him. 

He took a quiet moment of reflection and you patiently awaited his answer. 

“It’s all I’ve ever known,” he admitted. “I’m not sure what smaller would look like.” 

“It’s more about what it feels like,” you expressed. “Including my mother and father there were nine of us at home while I was growing up,” you began to explain. “Our home was not as small compared to a lot of the others around us, but in contrast to Pemberley it seems miniscule. When I wanted to get away from everyone I would have to leave the house, go take a walk in the field. Here I can just go to my room and I’ll be left alone,” 

“Do you miss your home?” Mr. Darcy asked. “Surely you wouldn’t stay there forever.” 

You looked at him curiously and he clarified, 

“What I mean is a woman such as yourself will eventually get married, perhaps move away.” 

“I do miss home sometimes, but it’s mostly my family. There is something about the quiet here, it’s so serene.” you clasped your hands together to stop them from swinging at your side. 

There was another spell of comfortable silence before it was broken again by Mr. Darcy. 

“Miss (L/N), if we stopped by my office I may have something that can help remove the stain from your dress,” 

“You do?” 

“When I was younger I had an awful habit of spilling tea on my white shirts so the maids started to give me something so I could get them cleaned faster,” he explained. “I-I’m not sure if it will work, but it might prove to be useful.” 

“Perhaps you should go grab it while I change out of this dress and into another?” you suggested. “You can meet me at my room.” 

Mr. Darcy nodded and quickly took the turn to his office while you hurried your pace to the end of the hall where your bedroom was. 

As quickly as you could, without damaging the dress, you removed it and laid it on your bed before picking out the nicest clothes you had out of your own belongings, but it came nowhere near even the simplest dress at the ball.

A couple moments after you had gotten dressed there was a knock on your door and you grabbed the dress and opened it. 

“We may need an area with better light,” you looked at your dark room only lit by a small candle. 

“Bring the candle, if we take it to one of the balconies it should give us enough to work with.” 

You nodded and did what he suggested before following him to one of the balconies in question. 

Mr. Darcy held out his hand for your dress and you gave it to him seeing the jar he held in his opposite hand. 

He hung the dress along the balcony’s ledge and opened the jar, pouring some of its contents on the stain. 

“Vinegar?” you asked. 

“And lemon juice,” he nodded after placing the jar down on the ground and scrubbing the affected spot. 

“Mr. Darcy, if you’d like I can take care of it,” you reached out and offered to take the dress off his hands. 

“I-,” he stopped himself as if he was unsure how to word what he wanted to say. “It would mean a great deal if you allowed me to do this for you, Miss (L/N),” 

You nodded your head and retracted your hands, holding them against your stomach, watching as he took extra care until, by the warm light of the candle, the stain was almost completely removed. 

“Thank you,” you said while taking the dress carefully back in your own hands, folding it and placing it on a table inside before coming back out. 

You could hear the music clearly coming from the ballroom, you suspected the windows were open and the sound was travelling. You thought it was a shame you didn’t get to dance, but that was partially your own fault, if you weren’t hidden off in the corner perhaps someone would have asked you. 

“Miss (L/N), I know it is just the two of us, but if I noticed correctly you did not dance tonight,” 

“I was just thinking about that myself,” you nodded. 

“If you would do me the honour of sharing a dance I’m sure we can change that,” he offered his hand. The music was slower, not something one would typically dance to, but maybe Mr. Darcy knew a different style of dance than that which you were familiar with. 

You cautiously took his hand and he brought you close to himself. You placed your other hand on his shoulder while he placed his just above your waist. 

“Have you ever waltzed before?” he asked. 

“Not that I can remember,” your voice was a whisper unable to comprehend how close you were. 

“It’s very simple,” he explained softly, “It’s three steps and you just follow my lead-yes like that,” 

You kept watch on your feet until you got a hang of the movements, allowing yourself to look up and see Mr. Darcy staring right back at you. 

You felt like you couldn’t blink, that if you did the whole moment would vanish. 

“I-I’m sorry I ruined the dress you bought me,” you apologized and looked down again at your feet, any excuse to tear away from his burning eyes that you sensed were reading your very soul. 

“No, I should be the one to apologize for frightening you,” he said. “With or without the dress you could fit in here, Miss (L/N),” 

You could feel your cheeks grow warm and you thanked him quietly for his words. 

The music came to a slow close and your movements stopped with it. You stood a moment, in that same waltzing position like you were waiting for another song to start so you could continue, but it didn’t. At least not one you could waltz to. 

You let go of Mr. Darcy’s hand and you were about to let your hand drop from his shoulder when you noticed a stray curl had fallen on his forehead, and out of instinct — perhaps from years of caring for your younger sisters or maybe even once or twice with Georgiana — you moved it out of the way, only realizing what you had done when it was too late. 

“Oh my-I-I don’t know what came over me,” you quickly stepped away. “I’m so so sorry Mr. Darcy. I should-I think I should take my leave,” 

Your movements were almost frantic as you quickly brushed past him and stepped back into Pemberley, grabbing the dress on the table and rushing to your room, overwrought with embarrassment. 

As if dancing with him so closely wasn’t enough, you scolded yourself behind closed doors, angrily lighting a spare candle and sitting down on the chair in front of the vanity. 

You looked out on yourself, a simple woman, from humble beginnings, desperately wanting something that could never be yours. 

—

“(Y/N), I am absolutely utterly restless, must we continue this lesson immediately?” Georgiana asked you as she looked down in dismay at her French grammar assignment. 

“I suppose not,” you hummed. “Would you like to go for a short walk perhaps? We can both get some fresh air and come back with a clear mind able to conjugate verbs,” 

“That would be amazing,” Georgiana shot up, out of her chair and was already halfway out of the room as you grabbed your things.

You linked arms with her and she eagerly led the way out of Pemberley and towards the lake. 

You saw a figure walking from there in your direction and you squinted trying to figure out who it was, but soon became distracted by some of Georgiana’s questions. 

She asked about the small town you came from, what it was like there, if you missed your family (the answer to that was yes, but the letter you had recently received from your father helped a little with the homesickness). 

You smiled at her curiosity, but your smile disappeared when you looked up and were face to face with a very indecent Mr. Darcy. 

Your eyes grew wide as you saw him in nothing but a soaking white undershirt and pants while Georgiana tried to hide a laugh. 

“Georgiana, Miss (L/N).” he addressed you both. 

You hadn’t spoken to Mr. Darcy — aside from light chatter at the table while you ate your meals — since the ball. You were far too embarrassed to try and converse with him after what you had done, but now here he was in front of you, hardly dressed and making your stomach flutter.

“Mr. Darcy,” you nodded. 

“Shouldn’t you be doing a French lesson Georgiana?” he asked his young sister. 

“We decided to take a break,” she explained. “We’ll get back to it soon,” 

“A-Are you enjoying your walk?” he asked, but his eyes were locked with yours. 

“Yes sir,” you nodded. 

“And your family is in good health? They are all well? Y-Your mother, father and siblings?” 

“Yes, from what I have last heard.” you confirmed. 

You stood there the three of you, staring at each other for a moment before Mr. Darcy finally excused himself to go dress more appropriately. 

After he was out of earshot Georgiana turned to you and with a quiet chuckle noted that her brother enjoyed swimming in the small lake on the property occasionally in the summer to cool off. 

“I don’t think I've seen him quite so flustered before,” she said. “He’s often so composed but I haven’t seen him stutter and stumble like that.” 

“I’m sure he was just cold,” you lied, hoping more than anything you could quickly go back inside and forget about the incident all together. 

—

Mr. Darcy walked down the halls of Pemberley a couple weeks after the lake incident, simply trying to go to his office, but when he heard a loud shriek come from your room his adrenaline raced and he ran there as quickly as possible, knocking on the door to see what was the matter. 

“Miss (L/N)?” he called. “Miss (L/N), are you alright?” 

There was no answer so he announced that he was entering the room, worried for your safety, only to see a letter dropped at your feet while you clutched your heart. 

“Good God,” he ran up to you, almost offering you the solace and comfort of his arms before remembering that it wouldn’t be appropriate. “What happened?” 

“I-I-,” you gagged and covered your mouth. “I think I’m going to be sick!” 

Tears were streaming down your face and your heart was racing far faster than it should have been, you wanted to tell Mr. Darcy the terrible news you had received. What made you cry in horror, and withered your very soul, but you felt dizzy, your dress far too constricting and making it harder for you to breathe.

“(Y/N), you must let me call someone, a doctor, you are unwell,” 

You shook your head, but not as a sign of refusal, you weren’t even aware of what was happening anymore, everything was becoming fuzzy before your knees buckled and it went black. 

You were lucky Mr. Darcy was right next to you as he caught you before you fell and quickly carried you to your bed, laying you down before rushing to the hallway and calling for help. 

Georgiana was closest and she came running down the halls wondering what her brother needed. 

“Georgiana, I need you to get Evangeline to call a doctor immediately and bring me a towel soaked in cold water and the smelling salts.” 

“What happened?” 

“I’m not sure,” he admitted. “She read something and became distraught by it. She wasn’t well enough to tell me before she fainted.” 

“I’ll be quick,” Georgiana nodded and ran back down the hall to do the tasks her brother had requested of her. 

Mr. Darcy headed back into the room and kneeled down next to your bed. He couldn’t help but reach out to hold your hand and give it a squeeze, the worry shimmering in his eyes. He could care less about propriety at that moment. 

He needed you to be alright, desperately, whatever the news was, when he found out he would do everything in his power to assure your comfort. 

Georgiana came back quickly with the requested items and Mr. Darcy sat himself next to you on the bed. gently dabbing the cool towel on your forehead. 

Georgiana placed the smelling salts under your nose only getting a slight twitch from you before Mr. Darcy told his younger sister to leave it for a moment before continuing. 

“Georgiana perhaps you should be at the door when the doctor arrives,” Mr. Darcy said quietly, his eyes never leaving your still frame. 

“Of course, please do call someone if you need anything though,” 

“I will,” he nodded and she slipped out of the room leaving only you and Mr. Darcy. 

He placed the cold towel on your forehead and gave it a moment before he tried the smelling salts again, this time with more luck seeing you begin to stir and wake, realizing all over again what had happened. 

You barely even had a chance to sit up when your body erupted with sobs, your chest heaving and shoulders shaking. Mr. Darcy, again, desperately wanted to offer you comfort in an embrace but giving you any sort of added shock dissuaded him from doing so. 

Georgiana, presumably having heard the sound, ran back into the room and fell at your feet her hand tightly grasping yours. 

“(Y/N), what happened?” her voice was gentle but carried the pain she knew you were feeling. 

“I-It’s my father,” you pressed your lips together and shook your head. You couldn’t bring yourself to say it, covering your mouth with your free hand.

Mr. Darcy grabbed the letter that was on the ground and with your permission skimmed its contents before passing it on to Georgiana.

“Miss (L/N), given the circumstances I believe I should escort you to your family home,” Mr. Darcy shared. “After the doctor has come and checked on you. I’d like to make sure you’re in good health before I return you to them. They need you in one piece.” 

You nodded your head and sniffed, wiping away your tears with the sleeve of your dress. 

“A-And Georgiana, what about h-her? Her st-studies?”

“Never mind me,” Georgiana shook her head and looked at you like you were being silly. She sat next to you on the bed and wrapped you in a tight hug. “I’ll manage for a while. Go be with your family, they need you and you need them.” 

“I can’t thank you both enough for your continued kindness,” you whispered. “Especially at a time like this.” 

“Of course,” Mr. Darcy nodded. 

Georgiana offered to help you pack a bag and you accepted it graciously while Mr. Darcy insisted you stay seated until the doctor came around, not wanting to deal with another fainting spell. It was frightening enough the first time. 

The doctor arrived around five minutes later and assured Mr. Darcy you were alright, just greatly overwhelmed. He recommended for you to take time to rest and relax, but both you and the Darcys knew that would only come when you were back home with your family. 

So with your bag in Mr. Darcy’s hand, you walked up to the prepared carriage. Mr. Darcy helped you inside and he followed shortly after securing your bag, taking the seat next to you, but leaving a decent amount of space between you. 

As the carriage began to make its way off the property you stayed quiet. Watching outside of its window at the gardens passing by, thinking about how long it had been since you’d seen your father and how you wished you could have been at his side when he left this world. 

Your eyes flicked to the empty spot next to you, noticing the way Mr. Darcy’s hand was resting next to his side. You carefully inched yours closer to his, wanting to ask for comfort, but not knowing what reaction it would bring. He was — after all — a very proper gentleman. 

You turned your head again and watched the scenery outside when you felt the faintest brush against your hand, to be sure you looked once more and saw how Mr. Darcy’s hand was now even closer to yours, as if he was making sure it was alright. 

You slowly stretched your fingers out slightly to him as he made the last move, placing his hand over your own and giving it a gentle squeeze as you both continued to look out of your respective windows. You didn’t dare turn to look at each other. 

When the carriage stopped in front of your home, Mr. Darcy was the one to let go of your hand, but only for a moment until he helped you out of the carriage. He told the driver he would handle your bag and after he handed it to you, you thanked him once more for his kindness. 

“And not just this, Mr. Darcy,” you sniffed and wiped away a few remaining tears. “It’s not lost on me what you have done for me in the time I’ve stayed with you at Pemberley. My room, the dress, the small parcels of books you’d leave on my desk every month,” the thought of his generosity was enough to bring a small soft smile to your face. 

And if he had the chance to do it again, Mr. Darcy knew he wouldn’t change a thing. 

“Thank you for bringing a light back into Pemberley that I haven’t seen in many years. You’ve done me a service just as much as you have claimed I have for you.” 

You gave him one last fleeting smile as a goodbye before you knocked at the door of your home, waiting for one of your siblings to let you inside.

—

It had been three weeks since you had left Pemberley and as much as you wanted it to be, it wasn’t a pleasant feeling to return, knowing what was in store. 

Once you were let in, you headed straight for Mr. Darcy’s office where Evangeline said he would be. You knocked on the door and as soon as you heard permission to come inside you entered. 

“Mr. Darcy, I need to speak with you urgently.” 

“Miss (L/N), I-we weren’t expecting your return today. I’ll send someone immediately to prepare your room.” 

“There’s no need, sir,” you bit the inside of your cheek. “I’ve come here to hand in my registration.” 

“Resignation?” Mr. Darcy was not expecting that. “I-Is this because of the passing of your father?” 

“In part,” you nodded. “I’ve been given time to reflect on the matter and I have now realized that during my time here there have been many boundaries of which I have crossed,” you continued to explain. “This has nothing to do with either your or Georgiana, this is completely my own mistake and I wish to own up to it.” 

Mr. Darcy was speechless, he wanted to argue with you, tell you how foolish you were being and that nothing of the sort had happened, but he could see your mind was set and if this was something that would make you happy, he didn’t want to be the person who got in the way. 

“I understand your decision, and although I do not necessarily agree with it, I will not stop you,” he said quietly. 

You pressed your lips together and nodded, “I’ll go pack my things and give the news to Georgiana.”

You left his office without another word and headed to your room to begin packing. 

After everything was complete and your belongings were in the carriage you looked around for Georgiana, finding her by the piano playing a quiet melody. 

Her playing stopped abruptly when she noticed you were there and she ran over to give you a hug. 

“You’re leaving aren’t you,” she mumbled quietly into your shoulder and you nodded as the young girl squeezed you tightly. 

“I’m so sorry Georgiana,” you apologized. “Please know that I have loved every moment I have spent with you. And I love you very dearly, as if you were one of my sisters.”

“I love you too,” she cried softly and you held her close, clutching a letter you had written for her in your hand. 

You gently pulled away from her, only to be able to wipe her tears and place a soft kiss to her forehead. 

“You can come visit me anytime you’d like,” you assured her. 

“I will. As much as I can.” 

You handed her the letter and she held it close to her heart. 

“I’ll see you again, I promise,” you tucked a small strand of her blond hair behind her ear and pulled her in for one last hug goodbye before leaving Pemberley and your heart behind you. 

—

Two months later…

“Fitz,” 

“Hello, Fitz?”

“Fitzwilliam Darcy,” Georgiana snapped her fingers in front of her brother’s face and he finally blinked out of his trance. 

“What is it Georgiana?” his voice almost sounded like a sigh, the past two months at Pemberley had been gloomy to say the very least. 

“You’re unhappy, Fitzwilliam,” she stated. “Melancholic, miserable, despondent, however you put it, it doesn’t matter.” 

“Why do you think that is,” he sat back in his seat, listening to his sister. 

“Because you miss her,”

“Her? Who is her?” 

“(Y/N), you miss (Y/N),” she said. “And do not try to deny it. You’ve been grumpy since she’s left and all you’ve done is mope about. You love her, Fitz. Which is why you should go after her because I think she loves you too,” 

Mr. Darcy only shook his head at his little sister, but it was more to save his own image than to disregard what she was saying, because he knew it to be the truth. At least for him it was, why would you have left if you loved him.

After lunch he sat in his office and attempted to get some work done and unfortunately his productivity was not particularly fruitful. Evangeline came in later to bring him a cup of tea and he thanked her, hoping maybe a warm drink could get him back on track. Instead, he knocked over the cup and spilled its contents on his white shirt as he cursed himself for his clumsiness. 

He grabbed a spare shirt from his room close by and went to try and remove the stain from the dirtied one. As he pulled out his mixture of vinegar and lemon from one of his desk drawers he paused, his mind drifting back to the night of the ball. 

He remembered holding your dress in his hands, insisting that he be the one to help remove the stain, it was so simple yet to him it felt incredibly personal, he hoped it showed that he cared. The way you danced together, slowly, close to one another, scandalous by all definitions, but how you had both become lost in each other's eyes and how you hadn’t missed a beat in fixing an unruly curl that had fallen onto his forehead. 

Upon a moment of reflection, he realized that perhaps his reading of your behaviour had been wrong, that maybe everything you had done, even leaving, you’d done because of him. 

He didn’t want to inflate his own ego, but there was only one way he would be able to get it out of his mind and that was to ask. The worst that could come of it is things would stay the same. Mr. Darcy would be alone while the woman he loved moved on with her life. But if there was even an inkling of a possibility, he wanted to take a chance. 

He left his office in haste and asked the driver to prepare the carriage for him. He informed Georgiana that he was going out and that hopefully he would return by nightfall. 

The carriage ride seemed to take forever and Mr. Darcy waited impatiently for them to arrive at your home. He knew this was an unannounced visit and it was as rude as one could be, but he had to know, he could not wait even another second. 

After he knocked on your door, he had half a mind to leave, to abandon this foolish pursuit completely, but before he could give it another moment’s through the door swung open. 

You had to blink a couple times to make sure you were seeing things right. You carried your little brother on your waist and he had his head tucked into your neck, not wanting to expose himself to the stranger in front of him. 

To Mr. Darcy you had never looked more beautiful. 

“I-I do apologize, I realize how rude it is of me to come unannounced.” 

“Yes, quite so,” you nodded, still shocked by his presence. 

“(N/N) who is it?” one of your younger sisters ran to the door to come get a look at their visitor. 

“Iris,” you hissed quietly. “Go back inside.” 

“(Y/N), be nice to your sister,” your mother came to join the three of you by the door all staring at Mr. Darcy. “Sir, you must accept my apology for my daughter’s apparent lack of manners. May I ask who you are?” 

“This is Mr. Darcy, mother, my former employer,” you introduced. 

“Then what is he doing standing outside, please come in.” 

Your mother took no hesitation in pushing you out of the way so that he could enter and by that point, the rest of your sister had gathered around to see what was happening. 

Mr. Darcy stepped into your home and he was able to adequately see what you were describing the night of the ball. Your home was obviously much smaller than Pemberley, but comfortable enough to house you, your mother and your six siblings. He could understand how it might easily get loud and boisterous, but it gave him just that much more insight into you. 

“Might we offer you some tea Mr. Darcy?” your mother asked and Mr. Darcy shook his head. 

“No thank you, but may I ask for a moment of Miss (L/N)’s time? There’s something I wish to discuss with her in private.” 

Before you even had an inch of room to answer, Julia, the sister closest in age to you, swooped in to take Peter out of your arms and pushed you in the direction of Mr. Darcy. 

“Of course, you both can use the sitting room,” she smiled and motioned for the rest of her sisters to follow her upstairs. 

Finding no other option, you led Mr. Darcy into the sitting room. He walked to the opposite side and when you closed the door you crossed your arms over your chest, waiting to hear what he had come all the way from Pemberley to say. 

He stayed silent, unsure of how to string the words together and so you tried to prompt him with a question. 

“How is Georgiana?” 

“She’s well, in good health,” he nodded. 

“And Pemberley?” 

He opened his mouth to say something then paused. 

“It’s not the same.” 

“Why not?” you frowned. 

“It’s not the same without you,” he finally admitted. “The estate is always quiet, Georgiana isn’t engaged in her studies, she misses you, I… I miss you,” 

“Mr. Darcy-,” 

“Please, allow me at least to finish and then if you wish me to leave and never come again I will respect that.” 

You nodded your head, signalling that you were listening and ready to hear what he had to say. 

“When you left you said that it was because you had crossed boundaries and you wanted to own up to your mistakes. I didn’t agree to that from that start, but if that is how you see it then I am just as complicit in crossing those boundaries. I will admit to that, but I crossed those lines because…because…” 

“Why Mr. Darcy?” you stepped closer to him, just a few inches, but it was enough to see the hurt glimmering in his eyes. 

“Because I had fallen in love with you. I still am in love with you. I wish for nothing more than to have you be the first face I see each morning and the last face I see each night. My heart is in agony, ever since you left us, I only wish for that pain to be soothed.” 

Now it was your turn to remain silent. You could feel the tears welling up in your eyes, in all your time spent with Mr. Darcy you could have never imagined that something like this could occur. He was a gentleman of high status and you were just a girl from the country. 

“I know it’s selfish of me to ask of you to come back for this reason, but I would be beside myself if I didn’t ask if you would even consider doing me the honour of becoming my wife.” 

“I-” your voice was caught in your throat as a couple tears escaped from your eyes. “I would gladly take that honour,” you nodded with a sniff, wiping away a few tears and walking up to him and taking his hand in yours. “And I will carry that honour with me as gratitude for allowing me the opportunity to marry the man I love.” 

Mr. Darcy gently lifted his hand to hold your face tilted towards him as you leaned forward to rest your foreheads against each other. His thumb wiped away a few more stray tears before you moved his hand to your lips, pressing a gentle kiss on his fingers. 

“Is there any chance I may convince you to kiss me?” you asked. “If our relationship consists of boundaries crossed we may as well continue to be consistent.” 

Mr. Darcy chuckled and tucked a finger under your chin, allowing his lips to meet your own in a soft kiss filled with love and admiration for one another. 

When you pulled apart, Mr. Darcy couldn’t help but hold your face in his hands, with a twinge of a smile on his lips. 

“My dear, I know it is customary for one to ask for the blessing of the father when getting engaged, but given the circumstances, I would like to ask your family. Would you be alright with that?” 

You nodded your head, and held one of his hands that was pressed against your cheek as you turned to kiss it. 

“I’ll go get them and make some tea while you talk,” you said. 

You didn’t want to let each other go, but you knew for the time being it would be necessary. When you stepped out of the room, as you had predicted your family was gathered around the door, waiting for some sort of news. 

“Mr. Darcy would like to speak to you all,” you said. “I’m going to go make some tea.”

“(N/N) what did he say?” Julia asked.

“I’m sure that will come to light soon enough,” you nodded. “Go on.”

You shooed your siblings off into the room and your mother followed closely behind with a slightly skeptical look on her face. 

You sat and waited patiently in the kitchen with a cup of tea in your hands until when you looked up at the door you saw Mr. Darcy standing at the entrance. 

“Well?” you asked. 

He simply nodded his head and you couldn’t help the grin that had become plastered on your face. 

You had to contain your excitement and simply stood up to meet him and extend your hand for him to take. 

With one look to each other and a simple nod, you were both ready for whatever would come next.

—

The sun peeked through the curtains on a clear Thursday morning, you yawned and stretched, reaching over to your side only to be met with empty covers. As soon as there was a frown on your face you saw your husband emerge from the adjoining room with two glasses of water in his hands and your expression relaxed. 

“Good morning, Mrs. Darcy,” he said softly, placing the glasses on the table next to the bed and taking a seat next to you. 

“Good morning, Mr. Darcy,” you yawned with a chuckle. “Have you been up long?”

He shook his head, “Just a few minutes.”

“Could you stay?” you asked while fixing a few of his tousled curls. 

“Of course,” he nodded and leaned forward to press a kiss to your lips only to be interrupted by the sound of a soft cry coming from the room next door. 

You were in the middle of pushing yourself up to attend to it, but a careful hand was placed on your shoulder and encouraged you to stay down. 

“I’ll get him don’t worry,” he assured you and not even a minute later, Mr. Darcy walked back into the room with your son cradled in his arms. “I think he wants his mother,” he said while watching the little boy squirm. 

“Oh he’s just hungry,” you pushed yourself into a seated position and held your arms out to take the baby while Mr. Darcy came and sat next to you on the other side of the bed. 

Just as you had predicted, the squirming immediately ceased while he was being fed and it made you chuckle. 

“What is it?” Mr. Darcy asked.

“Nothing, it’s just you get cranky too when you’re hungry,” you let a laugh escape while your husband shook his head with a smile. 

“My darling, you wound me,” he teased and you simply smiled back up at him.

“I’m sorry Fitz, what can I say? Like father like son,” you replied as he wrapped an arm around you and he used his free hand to gently stroke his son’s head, suddenly overcome with overwhelming gratitude that he took a chance to be happy. 

[chenlesfavorite]

[TEASER] love in the dark. lee haechan

— summary : you love haechan, you truly do, you wish to be with him till death do you part though your families aren't fond of each other and he can't officially court you, your meetings are always secret. but everything becomes complicated once your parents tell you that you're promised to a complete stranger.

— pairing : haechan x fem!reader

— genre : angst, forbidden romance, secret relationship, arranged marriage

— extra : regency era, oneshot/imagine, open ending

— author's note : it's my birthday and I promised I would upload an imagine... didn't say if it was gonna be the entire thing tho so here's a little teaser for it <3 the full imagine will be released once I'm back from my break :)

— teaser word count : 851 (final w.c will have around 3-4k)

reminder that this is pure fiction and not an actual depiction of how they act.

The ballroom is glittering under the golden shine of the grand chandelier hanging above, the violinists playing a melody fitting for the current waltz unraveling. Gowns twirling around as the gentlemen lead their ladies with grace.

Amidst the setting, you feel out of place, your heart weighing you down with the secrets you keep inside it. Your feet are moving along the rhythm of the waltz, but you're buried inside the garden in your mind.

Your eyes are drawn to the figure standing in the corner of the ballroom, his fingers delicately wrapping around the glass filled with the finest wine as his eyes that know your secret follow your every step.

Though you have not exchanged any words with him the entire evening, the tension was present and you know who the figure is. One might say you know him like you know the back of your hand.

The young gentleman you’re dancing with notices your breathing switching to a heavier pace, making your distracted self quite visible. “Lady L/N, are you feeling well?” The gentleman could not resist but ask, his expression carrying concern.

“Ah, I’m well. I just seem to be a little out of it as I’ve been on my feet all evening, pardon me.” You reply, your lips curling up into a smile as you do not wish to worry the gentleman.

Putting on a quick smile is no hard work for you, after all, you have learned the practice of masking your true feelings and intentions. But one person could see through that very easily and he was still watching you from the corner.

As the waltz draws to a close, the figure watching you makes his leave by going up the stairs. You are more than sure he’s going to the balcony. You politely curtsy to the gentleman who just danced with you and you excuse yourself from the ballroom floor, slipping through the sea of people.

At last, you reach the balcony, the cool breeze of the night hitting you and of course, your guess is right. He is here.

You did not think he would come tonight, especially considering his family did not receive an invitation to the ball due to your families not being fond of one another. But alas, that was stupid of you to even ponder about, after all, wherever you are, he will be there too.

“You should not be here, Haechan.” You say in a quiet tone, approaching him with a voice that carries the slightest anger in it, mixed with worry. “And yet,” He steps closer to you. “Here I am.” That cocky smirk appearing on his face, that smirk that just makes you want to hit him.

“You did not receive an invitation!” You exclaim, though by the looks of it, Haechan just did not seem to mind nor care, this is just a game to him. A game that he loves to play. “You think too little of me if you believe an invitation could keep me from you.” He replies, his voice a soft murmur. The moonlight cast a glow over him and his eyes showed a glimmer of mischief.

You step back, the railing of the balcony pressing against your back— your breath catching in your throat. “Haechan, if anyone were to see us— if they were to know you are here—”

Your words are cut off and a light gasp escapes your lips as he holds onto the railing, trapping you in between his arms. Your eyes lock onto his, his stare sending a shiver down your spine. “Let them see, let them know,” He whispers in your ear, his low tone sounding alluring.

“I care not for their gossip, nor for the rules of society. I care only for you.” Haechan leaves those words lingering in your mind as he starts to look directly at you. You narrow your eyes, a light scoff coming from you despite the red color rushing to your cheeks. “You think this is just some grand jest, don’t you? Do you have any clue of what you risk— what we risk?”

Haechan lets out a chuckle, his breath warm against your cheek. “Risk? I risk nothing. It is you who risks everything.” He pauses before continuing. “Your reputation, your family’s pride, their plans for your future... and yet,” His voice softens. “Here you are.”

Your heart starts to pound heavily in your chest, the anger in you battling with something deeper that was inside of you, something so dangerous. You search his face for any signs of seriousness behind that smug facade of his.

You lightly push him away as you clear your voice. “I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t have followed you.” You say, turning away from him as you start to head for the doors of the balcony.

“But you did, you smile and dance for the others but you always come back to me because you know your heart belongs to me.” His voice fades away as you rush back inside the manor, the heat becoming very evident on your face.

[TO BE CONTINUED]

[i-am-baechu]

♡ Summary: Y/N loved her members with all her heart, they were her brothers. They raised her since she was fourteen and now she is twenty-five, she was old enough to make adult decisions. Well, not in their eyes.

♡ Rating: Pg - 14

♡ Genre: 8th member au, comedy, romance, fluff, and little angst 

Authors note: Surprise idol boyfriend lol 

L/N Y/N was the eighth member of Bts. She was younger than Jungkook by one year and everyone always compared them too. It was annoying but what else did she expect, she was the only girl in a primarily boy group. She was on the quiet side when she was younger, she would only talk to Seokjin and Yoongi. They made her think of her older brother back at home and it was comforting to be around something so familiar. She didn’t really shine until the DNA era because she was finally an adult and felt more comfortable in her skin. Her relationship with the members grew and Army saw the true her. 

Now she was twenty-five, she was a beloved idol in the industry. She had a sweet angelic voice that sounded like snow falling during winter and many said she had a siren’s voice. While all her members did their solo albums, Y/N took this time to truly relax and focus on her life more. Seokjin and Hoseok already went to the military, something that saddened her but she knew they would be back. 

Y/N looked around before entering the tall building. She smiled at the receptionist who recognized her immediately (then again who wouldn’t), “Ah, Y/N. Back again.”

“Yeah, I am. Unnie, do you know where he is?”

She smiled at this and nodded her head, “He’s in the dance room on the fourth floor. Room 2B.”

“Thank you, unnie.” 

Y/N bowed at the older woman and made her through the building. She made sure her hat covered her eyes the best she could, she didn’t want attention on her. She listened to his voice through the elevator and a smile appeared on her lips. She always loved his voice and how he could easily carry the song with his high note, it was just beautiful. She knocked on the dance room door and she opened it to see him standing there already looking at the door with a smile. 

“Jagiya~.” She ran towards him as his face heated up from the name but he ignored it and wrapped his arms over her waist. She nuzzled her face into his chest as he kissed the top of her head, “I missed you so much, Doyoung.”

“I missed you too.”

Y/N and Kim Dong-Young from NCT have been dating for almost two years now. All the members of NCT knew about the couple but her members had no idea that she was even seeing someone. She never really talked about people she was interested in, she kept it to herself. She met Doyoung during the end of the Golden Disk Award backstage. 

She accidentally went into the wrong dressing room and that’s how she met him. She always thought he was cute and she would be lying if she said she didn’t have a crush on him. She would always listen to NCT in secret in the dorms and whenever she saw him appear on her screen, she felt her heartbeat get faster. Doyoung was the first one to speak to her and the rest was history. He was shy and more introverted than her, she would make him talk and take him out whenever they had free time. 

Doyoung wanted Y/N to move in with him but she had to figure out how to tell her members. This was a sensitive subject for the two. Doyoung understood why she was hiding but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. She felt so guilty about hiding their relationship but she knew how her members get when the opposite sex looks at her. 

When they let go, she leaned up, placing a kiss on his cheek, “Did you get my flowers?”

“Yes, I did. Thank you, I loved them.” 

“It’s not every day that your partner releases a sub-unit album.”

He rolled his eyes and kissed the top of her head, “When are you going to release your album?”

She wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned her head against his chest, “I’m not in a rush for it. When I do though, it will be a love song for you.”

“Aish, jagiya. You love to embarrass me.” 

“I do, where’s the others?” 

He pushed some hair behind her ear and smiled down at her, “I was practicing on my own today.”

“Did you eat yet, jagiya?”

“I ate this morning.”

Y/N’s head snapped at him and she glared at him, “It’s four in the afternoon and you haven’t eaten. Doyoung, that’s bad.” 

“I’m sorry, do you want to go eat right now?”

She pouted her lips and nodded her head, “You can’t do that to yourself. It’s not good for your body.”

“I’m sorry, let’s go to your favorite restaurant.” 

“No, let’s go to your favorite restaurant.” 

Doyoung let out a small laugh and rolled his eyes, “Fine. I know your stubborn heart will make things difficult, let’s go.”

She smiled at this and leaned forward placing a quick kiss on his lips, “I always win.” 

He gathered his things and grabbed her hand. His thumb creased the top of her knuckles as they headed out. They walked out of the building towards the back and headed towards his car with smiles on their faces. He opened her door, helped her into the car, and placed a kiss on her forehead before closing the door. She felt her face get hot but she shook her head. He entered the car and started playing classical music. He turned towards her and saw that she was already looking at him with love in her eyes. He smiled and leaned forward placing a longing kiss on her lips, “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you more, Doyoung.” 

“Where did she go?” Jungkook was looking through her apartment and turned towards his hyungs with a confused look. Namjoon sighed to himself and rubbed the back of his neck roughly, “Jungkook, she might have gone out with her friends.” 

Taehyung entered her bedroom and his eyebrow raised when he saw an album on her bed. He walked towards it and gently picked it up. Jimin entered the room and tilted his head, “What’s that?” 

Taehyung looked up at him with a frown, “It looks like our maknae has been hiding something from us.” 

“Oh like what?” 

Taehyung flipped the album and Jimin’s eyes squinted to read the message. His eyes quickly went wide and looked at Taehyung, “No, way!” 

“What are you guys yelling about?”

They both turned towards the door frame to see Yoongi standing there. They both glanced at each other and then back at Yoongi. Yoongi is the last person that should find out her little secret, it would cause trouble for her. Taehyung shrugged his shoulders and looked down at the floor, “I saw a spider.”

“Then why did Jimin say no way? What are you holding?” 

“Hyung-”

Yoongi snatched the album out of their hand to take a look. Normally he wouldn’t look at their stuff but with Jimin’s reaction, it made him worry. He glared at the album and then back at Jimin, “Do you think this is true?”

“Hyung, I-I don’t know.” 

“Namjoon! Jungkook! Get in here!” 

In the living room, Namjoon and Jungkook looked at each other with raised eyebrows. Jungkook shrugged his shoulders and they went inside her bedroom. Namjoon wrapped his arm over Yoongi’s shoulder, “What’s going on?”

“Y/N is dating Doyoung.”

“What?” 

Yoongi handed the album to Jungkook and Jungkook glared at the album, “To my favorite person in the world. My love, thank you for the support on this album, it means the world to me. Whenever you listen to this song I hope you picture me with you on the beach. I love you, Doyoung. That little shit.” 

Jimin let out a small laugh and rolled his eyes, “That little shit is older than you, kook.” 

Namjoon let out a small cough and took the album out of his hands, “It's sweet that he wrote her a message. I think it's cute that she's dating someone.” 

Yoongi rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over her chest, “He’s too old for her.”

“Hyung, he's only two years older than her.” 

Yoongi glared at Taehyung and shook his head, “That doesn’t matter to me. He’s too old for her. Wait until I tell Jin and Hoseok this.” 

“We will have that dinner this weekend with them. Should we tell her that we know this...”

Namjoon let out a sigh and shook his head, “It’s not our business.”

“It is because she's our little sister, hyung.”

“Jungkook, it’s her life and it sounds like she's happy with him.” 

Yoongi tossed the album back to the bed and looked at all the members, “We’ll tell Jin and Hoseok before the dinner and we can figure it out from there. Let’s leave before she comes back. I bet she's on a date with him right now.”

Doyoung placed some rice cake on her plate and she smiled at him, “Thank you, oppa.” 

His face turned red and looked away from her eyes, “D-Don’t call me that in public.”

She let out a laugh and took a bite of her tofu stew, “Why is it because of your oppa kink?”

“Jagiya! Stop it!” 

She placed more rice into his bowl and gave him a smirk, “You know it's true. Speaking of oppa, we’re having dinner with Jin-oppa and Hoseok-oppa this Friday.” 

“Oh, that’s good. I know how much you miss them.” 

“I do miss them...I was thinking that you could come with me?”

Doyoung choked on his rice and looked at her with wide eyes, “You want me to come!?” 

“I was thinking about it but I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” 

“Should I be around people that know how to handle guns especially when I’m dating their little sister?” 

“Good point. I'll tell them I’m dating someone then.”

Doyoung reached over and placed his hand on top of hers, “Baby, are you ready for that?” 

“I want them to know I have someone in my life. I want them to see how happy you make me.” 

“If you're ready then I’m ready.” 

•┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈•

“Oppa, can you hand me my brush?” 

Jimin looked up from his phone and nodded his head. Y/N was in her bedroom with Jimin and Taehyung getting ready for dinner. Well, they broke into her apartment and didn’t want to leave so here they are now. Y/N fixed her baby blue shirt and took the brush out of his hand, “Thank you~.” 

“Of course, anything for you.” 

She brushed her hair and Taehyung glanced at Jimin. Jimin shrugged his shoulders and Taehyung sighed, “Hey, Y/N.”

“Mmm?” 

“You wouldn’t hide anything from us right?” 

She glanced at him through the mirror and then back at her reflection, “No, why would I?”

“Just asking?”

Taehyung looked at Jimin and Jimin sighs, “We were just curious, hun. We’ll be in the living room waiting for you.” 

She watched them leave and she frowned to herself. They were acting weird, weirder than normal. She shook her head and let out a small laugh, “I’m just tripping.” 

They had never had an awkward dinner but tonight was the night to change that. She sat next to Jungkook and when she came in, he wouldn’t even look at her. He kept staring at his plate or he would be talking to the other members, leaving her hanging. Yoongi was more quiet than usual and Seokjin had this tight smile when she hugged him. Everyone else was acting like they were walking on eggshells. She sighed at this and slammed her chopsticks, “What’s going on?”

Namjoon smiled at her and took a sip of his water, “What do you mean?” 

“You guys are acting weird...I don’t like it.”

“You know what I don’t like, liars.” 

Y/N looked at Yoongi with a confused look and furrowed her eyebrows, “What do you mean?”

Jungkook looked at her and shook his head, “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Tell you what? What-”

“Y/N.” She looked at Jin and saw that he had a serious look. She wanted to disappear because she hated this look on him. Jin put down his chopsticks and looked at her, “How long have you been dating Doyoung?” 

Oh, she hated this so much. Her mouth fell open and ignored everyone in the room but Jin, “What-How do you know?”

“Answer the question.”

“Fo-For almost two years…Oppa-”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

She glanced down at the table and then back at Jin, “I didn’t tell any of you because I knew how you would react...” 

Hoseok gave her a small smile and shook his head, “Y/N we wouldn’t-”

“Yes, you guys would. Look how you were treating me just now. I’m not fourteen anymore, I’m twenty-five. I thought you guys would be happy for me.”

Jungkook scoffed next to her and shook his head, “You hid this from us and you think you have the right to get mad at us?” 

“Stop treating me like I’m a little kid. You guys got mad that I was talking to Changkyun and even threatened Shownu to keep him away from me. We were just talking about a video game. So yeah, I’m sorry that I hid this from you guys but you made things hard for me.” 

Yoongi slammed his hand on the table causing her to jump. She glanced at Yoongi feeling small under his eyes, “Everything we do is to protect you, Y/N.”

“Oppa, I know that but-”

“It hurts that you hid this from us. We could’ve celebrated together but now were hurt because of you hiding the truth. Have you ever thought about that?” 

She frowned at this and looked down at the table. She shook her head and then looked back at Yoongi, “Oppa, you guys don’t-”

“Y/N you should’ve just told us.”

She looked at Namjoon and shook her head at this. She stood up from the table and looked at them with a sad look, “You guys always treated me like a kid. I know I’m the youngest but I’m an adult now. Every time I tried talking to a guy you guys pushed them away from me. I’m sorry I kept this away from you guys but you guys need to understand why I did it. Oppa, I’ll call you when you are free at the camp. Bye.” 

She ran out of the restaurant and took her phone out. She dialed Doyoung’s number as she let the tear escape from her eye. She sniffled and roughly wiped her eyes, “Jagiya, can you-can you pick me up?”

“Are you okay? You sound like you're crying.”

“Please pick me up...I’m at the restaurant that you took me to last week.”

“I’m five minutes away. I’ll be there soon. I love you.”

“I love you more.” 

He came by fast and it even shocked her how fast he got there. He got out of his car and wrapped his arms around her waist. He kissed the top of her head, “What happened?”

“How did you get here so fast?”

“Ignore that, what happened?” 

She sighed and wrapped her arms around his waist, “They were being difficult...can I stay at your place tonight?” 

“Of course, you can. Let’s go.” 

Seokjin watched from the window and let out a deep sigh. He turned towards the guy and shook his head, “You guys didn’t handle that right.” 

“Hyung-”

“No Jungkook. I was going to tell her I’m disappointed in her but I would love to meet him. You guys took it too far and treated her like she was small when she’s not. She’s at the same level as us.” 

Yoongi shook his head at this, “She’s our little sister-”

“Who’s twenty-five, hyung.”

Yoongi turned his head towards Hoseok who gave him a look making him sigh, “I know she’s twenty-five...I just want to protect her still.”

Hoseok sighed at this and took a sip of his water, “You can’t always protect her, hyung. She has to go through life and we just have to support her.” 

“Fuck, I know. We need to apologize.” 

•┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈•

It’s been three days since the dinner and Y/N hasn’t really talked to anyone. Jin and Hoseok already apologize for their attitude at the dinner. She of course accepted because she loves them with her whole heart and she misses them. The others haven’t even tried to say anything to her and it was honestly making her upset. She came home from a late meeting and her eyes widened when she saw Doyoung waiting in the lobby with roses in his hands. 

She smiled at this and slowly walked up to him, “You got me flowers?”

He jumped at the sudden voice and gave her a small glare, “What did I say about scaring me?”

“But it's so fun.”

She took the flowers out of his hand as he rolled his eyes, “I don’t think it's fun. I thought you deserved roses after the couple of days you had.” 

“Thank you, it made me feel better. You want some dinner?” 

“Oh, what are you cooking?” 

“I had leftover tofu and I was just gonna fry them.” 

The couple made their way to her suite, talking about random things. When she unlocked the door she was met with the smell of chicken and freshly made rice. She glanced at Doyoung and he got in front of her just in case. They slowly made their way down the hallway and she pushed past Doyoung with an annoyed look, “What the hell are you guys doing?” 

Her members looked at her with wide eyes and Namjoon gave her a small smile, “An apology dinner?” 

“Is that a question?” 

Yoongi rolled his eyes and glanced at Doyoung. He swallowed some spit and bowed at him, making Doyoung stand there with wide eyes, “I’m Min Yoongi. It’s a pleasure to meet my sister's boyfriend.” 

Doyoung glanced at Y/N who just shrugged her shoulders. He turned towards Yoongi and bowed back, “I-I’m Kim Dong-Young, Y/N’s boyfriend…”

Jungkook smiled at him and clapped his hands, “We wanted to make dinner for Y/N but you can sit with us, only if you want to.”

Doyoung rubbed his neck and nodded his head, “I-I would love to stay and eat.”

She glanced at Jimin and Namjoon and whispered, “This doesn’t mean you guys are forgiven.”

Taehyung overheard her and let out a small laugh, “We know but this is a start. We made your favorite.”

She rolled her eyes and nodded her head, “Thank you oppa…”

Jimin smiled and kissed her forehead, “Let’s eat, we have to interrogate your boyfriend.”

“Oppa please don’t.” 

[cariantha]

In a Mood

Book: Open Heart, Book 3 Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Sawyer Brooks) Rating: General Warning: Mention of pregnancy Category: Grumpy/Sunshine; Angst Word count: 1.3K Prompt: From @kyra75, “Sunshine is humming and singing constantly, while grumpy at best just tolerates it quietly.” A/N: This is a prequel to their proposal fic.💍Hope you don’t mind, Kyra, but I reversed the grumpy/sunshine roles.🤭

Ethan stepped out of the high-end jewelry store, twirling his keys around his finger and sporting an uncontrollable grin. He whistled a happy, upbeat tune as he walked down the block to where he had parallel parked. Settling into the leather seat of his Jaguar, he started the ignition and cranked up the stereo. Safely merged into traffic, his fingers drummed to the classic rock beat as he sang along. “l said, are you gonna be my girl… 🎵🎶🎵… I say you look so fine that I really wanna make you mine… 🎵🎶🎵”

Sawyer woke on the wrong side of the bed. Maybe because it wasn’t the comfy bed she became accustomed to. She’d been sleeping in Ethan’s for the better part of the past year but stayed at her apartment last night to start packing. Her lease ended in a couple of months, and despite Ethan’s offers to pay the penalty for breaking the lease early to encourage her to move in with him, Sawyer insisted on keeping her room until after her board exams. The six-foot-four, blue-eyed sex machine was too great a distraction when she needed to hunker down and study. 

Shuffling down the hall and into the kitchen, she found Sienna balancing a mixing bowl on her hip while she swayed back and forth, singing a Taylor Swift hit. When Sienna noticed her, she shoved a batter-coated spoon into Sawyer's face, suggesting she take over lead vocals, but Sawyer shook her head and grumbled. “Sorry, Sienna. I’m not awake enough for the Eras tour.”

The day continued in the same irritable fashion. She was fifteen seconds late catching the T. While she waited for the next one to arrive, a street musician embarrassingly circled and serenaded her with “The Lady in Red,” making her wish she had picked a different color jacket this morning.

Later, she watched from the gallery as Bryce led his first heart-lung transplant. He bobbed his head and lip-synced to a mix of 90’s alternative rock playing through the operating room’s speaker system. The intro to “Bring Me to Life” by Evanescence began to play. 

“Ohhh yeah,” Bryce hyped and looked to the gallery. “Brooks! It’s our song. Sing with me!” 

Not one to usually shy away from some lighthearted fun, Sawyer just couldn’t get past her funk this morning. “I’m good, buddy.” 

After a couple more headbangers, Sawyer wished him luck on the rest of the procedure and went back to work. 

That afternoon, Ethan suggested a walk to Derry’s Roasters. On the way, he began to whistle a chirpy tune. It was familiar, probably a melody from one of the arias from the opera they attended a few nights ago. “Ugh, not you, too,” she muttered. Ethan wasn’t usually a whistling and humming guy, but something was definitely in the air today, and she seemed to be allergic to whatever it was. 

“Did you say something?” Ethan asked. 

“It was nothing.” 

The annoying merriment continued into the evening hours. Music sounded from the Bluetooth speaker in the kitchen as her man prepared dinner. It wasn’t loud, but he sang along with the lyrics. Ethan Ramsey was singing! It should have brought a huge smile to her face and forced her into a fit of laughter, but for reasons she could not explain, it grated on her. 

She fake-smiled her way through dinner, not wanting to project her foul mood on her disgustingly happy boyfriend. When Ethan hopped in the shower and started humming another melody, Sawyer grabbed her phone and headed to the balcony. She texted her best friend, hoping Christian would allow her to vent.  

A couple of days had passed since her text exchange with Christian. Saywer’s moodiness was at an all-time high, though she tried to curb it, especially around Ethan. He had been so sweet the past several days and had done nothing to deserve her bite. 

Hoping a jog would burn off some of the negative energy, Sawyer headed to the waterfront. As she ran along the boardwalk, she made a mental note to shop for a new sports bra because this one felt like it was lacking support. With every pound of the pavement, her breasts ached. Midway through her route, she had to stop for a breather, her body heavy with an unusual fatigue. 

When another female jogger pushing a stroller passed and politely waved, a potentially life-altering thought occurred to her. One that detoured her to the pharmacy on the way back to Ethan’s apartment. 

Sawyer heard his happy tune when he entered the apartment later that evening. Finding her in the kitchen prepping dinner, Ethan greeted her with a “Hi” and kissed her temple. “I’ll be right back,” he said. 

As he put his things away and changed into more comfortable clothes, Sawyer could hear the song he whistled on his lips getting louder as he returned to the kitchen.

Even if she found his carefree mood annoying lately, she couldn’t deny him his happiness. Her heart hurt knowing there was an excellent chance he wouldn't be humming or whistling much in the days to come. Because Ethan Ramsey didn't see kids in his future. He said as much two and a half years ago. When she had asked him the question, the fMRI scan of his brain confirmed it.

Ethan stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her from neck to cheek. He greeted her with a proper kiss when she turned her face toward him. "How was your day off, baby?" he asked.

Baby. 

Sawyer hesitated before answering. With his hand splayed over her stomach, she wanted to say, "It was shocking, and I'm terrified to tell you because it's going to change everything." 

Instead, she shrugged and answered with a deceiving truth. "I went for a jog, ran some errands, and waited for test results."

Ethan kissed her temple again and gently moved her to the side to take over dinner prep. "Stop stressing over those test results, Rookie. You've got nothing to worry about."

Sawyer stepped behind him to hide the mist gathering in her eyes. She squeezed him around the waist, and to herself, she said, "Please let that be true."  

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