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silveraccent · 4 years ago

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Enter Sandman || Grace & Kaden

TIMING: Current (POTW) LOCATION: Grace’s apartment PARTIES: @silveraccent @chasseurdeloup SUMMARY: Kaden comes to help Grace figure out the source of all the sand in her apartment. Metallica helps them understand what’s going on. Some feels are included.

There wasn’t a whole lot that Kaden felt like he was getting right as of late. All his efforts to help seemed to be in vain. So when Grace asked for help with a seemingly mundane task, he couldn’t come over to the apartment complex fast enough. It might be stupid but if he could jsut succeed in one thing, just help one person out maybe he could fet his head on straight again, figure this shit out. Alright so she hadn’t asked for help so much as advice, but Kaden was beginning to become an expert on windows. He had certainly repaired and replaced enough by now. Sealing one? Piece of cake. Plus, he was curious about this sand situation. What was sand doing on a fourth floor apartment anyway? Toolkit and sealant in hand, Kaden knocked on the door and waited for her to open it. “Hey. Not a pie but might be more useful in the long run,” he said, offering her a smile. “How are you doing?” He hoped it was a causal question. He worried it might not be. Didn’t hurt to ask, right?

Their last interaction being a bit more disheartening than she had first planned, Grace wanted to make a better impression-- to show that she was doing better. However, the situation with the sand, regardless of having made an effort to clean time and time again since her return to her apartment, was no use. The only explanation was the window carrying its grit through obvious cracks in her window. Though, when she had gotten it replaced, she hadn’t anticipated there being anymore issues. It was possible that the company Regan had referred her to wasn’t that great, and that maybe she should reach out for a refund. Instead, she was pulling the door open to see Kaden. She stepped aside with a smile, “I mean, the pie can wait-- I’m tired of sand in between my toes.” Grace closed the door behind him as she turned back towards the window. “I’m… doing better, actually.” She wasn’t sure if it was the truth, or if she was lying for his benefit-- there was something clearly wrong with him. There was a hopefulness to him, but it was shrouded in anxiety. “Healing right up,” Grace motioned to her ear before she approached the window. “How are you?” She asked, waiting for him to lie to her.

“Putain de merde, it’s that bad?” Kaden peeked inside and sure enough, sand. Everywhere. It looked like some sort of beach side house. Only that was far from the case. He stepped inside and scuffed a little with his shoe. It didn’t exactly reveal any information about it beyond it was definitely without question in fact sand. That didn’t stop him from crouching down, setting his tools aside to pick some up in his fingers. No, nothing strange. Still. Beyond the fact that it was here at all. “You are?” he said, perking up a bit as he looked up at her. Oh. Maybe he shouldn’t sound so shocked. “I mean, good, that’s good.” His brow furrowed a moment as he stood up again, gathering his things before walking to the window. “You’re sure?” he asked hesitantly. Maybe he should accept the lie, or truth, whatever it was and move on. Hell, she had, she was questioning him. “Uh, been better. I’ll be alright. Let’s take a look at this window, shall we?” He trekked over to the pane of glass in question and started inspecting. The creased in his forehead deepened the longer he looked. It looked… fine. Just fine. He’d just look harder.

Grace watched as Kaden began to investigate the sand. She didn’t know why it was happening, or how. No matter how many times she cleaned, it never seemed to help. It was beginning to get into her bed, too. In an attempt to keep Ruthie’s tank clean, she had moved him into her bathroom, away from any windows. Still, there was sand, even then. “I am,” Grace said after a moment. Maybe if she said it enough times, she’d start to believe herself, too. It’d be easier to convince herself she was okay if she were to say it out loud. Her journey to forgiving Regan had been one that developed purely out of stubbornness at Regan’s unwillingness to accept that she was going to forgive her, but it was bound to happen sooner or later-- Grace was bad at holding grudges, even when somebody had hurt her to the point in which Regan had. Kaden’s deflection caused a crease in Grace’s brows and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Okay, I mean I guess that’s why you’re here, not for anything else, right?” She tilted her head to the side as she looked at him as he began to look at the glass. “Are there any cracks you can see? Maybe I missed something,” She said as she squinted at the window.

“Hey, I asked how you are,” Kaden said as he continued to run his fingers along the sealant of the window. Putain, it felt even and normal. “I swear if there’s not even a single thing I can get right for once,” he mumbled under his breath, entirely to himself. What if he tore the sealant out or just did it again anyway? That would help. Fucking hell he just wanted to help. Before he let the urge to punch the window get the best of him, he sighed and turned back to her. “Was there something else you wanted to talk about then? You’re making it seem that way. Go on, lay it on me.” It was a bad day when talking was going to be the thing going right for him. It sure wasn’t his strong suit. But he might as well try, it couldn’t be worse than the perfectly sound window he was there to fix. He pushed his hair out of his face and checked the window closer. There had to be something wrong. “You’re sure it’s coming through here? Because I can’t see anything. There’s no reason for this.” He scrunched up his face a moment. Maybe he was looking for the wrong thing. A normal solution to a supernatural problem. Putain de merde, he hoped that wasn’t the case. Increasingly he was thinking it might be.

The longer silence warped the space between them, the more Grace felt his sudden anger. She involuntarily flinched away from him, despite the fact that he hadn’t made a move. Gripping the edge of her window, she tried to focus on it. She wanted to ask what was wrong, but wasn’t sure how. She typically tried to ignore it, tried her best to focus on something else. Maybe she was a horrible empath, her inability to allow people in extending to the matter of when somebody needed a shoulder. “There wasn’t really much,” Grace said as she pressed her fingers into the wall. She wondered if she pressed hard enough, it’d crumble away. “It’s the only place, I think. I don’t know. Maybe the ceiling? But it’s not popcorn or anything, it’s just.. Paint.” She looked up at the ceiling as if to make her point before glancing back over to Kaden. He didn’t seem upset, not visibly, so her asking him if he was okay, she wondered if he’d chalk it up to her just being particularly observant on the recent activities that concerned Regan. “Are you okay?” She asked, voice uneven.

Kaden saw the flinch and looked around a bit to see if there was anything that might have startled her. There was no sound, he knew that much. If there were, he would have heard it of all people. Especially over her. He grit his teeth, trying to stave off the sudden guilt he felt over the thought. He hadn’t even caused it, not even remotely directly and he still had a feeling it would take a while for that to subside. He sighed and decided he was just going to check the stupid ceiling. “You got a step stool or ladder or something? I mean I could stand on your table but I don’t think you want that.” He looked down at the sand again, picking some up and examining it in his palm, hoping there was some answer here, a clue, anything. “Hmm?” he asked, his head jerking over to look at her. She seemed a little… upset, perhaps? Unsure at the very least. Definitely concerned. “I’m alright. For the most part. Why are you asking?” He could feel tiny pricks of defensiveness creep in and he nearly winced at himself. “It’s been a rough week. Well a rough few weeks actually. But I’ll figure it out, I always do. Anyway, it would be nice if we could fix your sand problem, give me one stupid victory this week, alright?”

“I have a chair,” Grace offered with a half-smile, half-frown. She padded over to the small kitchenette and grabbed a chair from the dining table and set it in front of Kaden. “It’s not that safe, but the ceiling isn’t too high, right?” She asked as she tilted her head back to look up at the ceiling. She gripped the back of the chair as she watched him fiddle with the sand that was on the ground. She wondered if she’d ever permanently get rid of it, even after more stopped accumulating, or if she’d be stuck with it for forever. Grace tilted her head to the side slightly as he spoke, “I’m just asking. You checked up on me, but is anybody checking up on you?” Something told her that nobody was. By his agitation, his frustration-- his restlessness. She was sure that even if she hadn’t had the abilities that she did, his emotions would be easy to pin. “I don’t doubt you can’t fix it, but it’ll be hard to fix it if you don’t know where it’s… fucked up.” Grace squinted up at the ceiling. There were no visible cracks.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” he said with a shrug. “Definitely not the most dangerous thing I’ve done in the past two days, it’s fine.” Kaden climbed up and didn’t have too much trouble brushing the ceiling. He ran his hands along it, trying to see if there was anything to drag up. Nothing but dust. “Putain,” he said with a cough. “Who knew ceilings could collect dust.” He coughed a few more times, his lungs trying to clear themselves. “That’s it, though,” he said before climbing back down, “no sand. It’s strange.” He pursed his lips and tried to think of possible connections, explanations. He knew Bloody Mary was hanging around but she had shit all to do with sand. Unless, you know, you figured glass was made from sand. At insane temperatures. No, didn’t seem likely. He was snapped out of his thoughts by her question. “I don’t know. Maybe?” he sighed again. She was barely older than Blanche. She didn’t need any of this bullshit. But he also didn’t want her to keep asking. “A few people have. I don’t know. There’s just a lot. And not much anyone can do.” He rubbed the back of his neck and decided how much he wanted to let her in, how much he wanted to dwell on any of it just yet. “I don’t know how much of my shit you want to deal with. But thanks. For checking,” he said, giving her a half smile. “This helps. By the way. Just trying to, you know, doing normal shit. Helping. Whatever.”

“You’re going to make me insecure about my ceiling,” Grace countered back, squinting up. When Kaden wiped his hand along it, she quickly tipped her head down to avoid any dust falling into her eyes. Grace made way for him to get down and let go of the chair. She wasn’t sure why there was so much sand in her apartment, or the hallways for that matter. All she knew was that she wanted it gone. It didn’t seem, however, by Kaden’s expression, that he knew where it was coming from. Grace watched Kaden carefully, her gaze searching for any telltale features on his face, to see if he would make an attempt to lie-- she’d be able to call him out on it, though, she would be able to feel if he were lying to her. It felt different for certain people, but usually if she paid attention to their mannerisms, their moods, and their words, it was easy to pick apart. For the most part, however, Kaden seemed to be telling the truth. There was certainly a lot going on, all of which she wasn’t sure of-- not that it was any of her business. She wasn’t the type to usually prod, but with somebody who was harboring this much emotional turmoil, it was hard for Grace not to ask questions. “You sound like a broken record,” Grace commented with a laugh, “like me a few days ago, I mean.” Grace crossed her arms over her chest and dug her fingernails into her forearms. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m… being invasive, and honestly I don’t want to invade, but…” She frowned, “I know there isn’t much I can do, so if there is something-- and I’m glad this,” Grace motioned to the window, to the ceiling, “that these things are helping.” Grace wanted to help, she just didn’t know how to. She wasn’t sure if she could. Whatever Kaden was currently going through, it seemed like it hurt. “Sorry we can’t figure out where the sand is coming from,” She muttered, turning back to the window to inspect it again.

“Look, I’d bet you anything mine is worse but I don’t have to check it for sand.” Yet. Kaden wasn’t so certain this wasn’t the sort of thing to spread throughout the town. Like the eyeballs in the pipes. Guess he should invest in some good dustpans and brooms just in case. He leaned on the chair and avoided her glance for a minute before replying. “I’m sure I do. But I can’t tell you about any of the shit with Regan. I really can’t.” He shook his head and rubbed his brow with a free hand for a moment. “As much as I think you deserve to know. Considering.” Considering her injury and possible death is what started the spiral in the first place. “Keep being stubborn, though. I’m not going to stop you.” Hell, it would do Regan some good to have a reminder of why she was bothering, some tether to the world beyond banshees. And he wasn’t enough. Which was fine, he didn’t think he could handle being her only anchor. It was draining enough as it was. “I don’t know, I’ve made a lot of mistakes recently. Fucking sucks. I feel pretty shit about it. That’s the short version. I’ve done more hurting than helping and it sucks.” His tone was casual and so was his mannerisms but it was masking the guilt churning in his stomach. Any one of the things on his plate would be enough but it felt never ending. “Hey, it’s not your fault. It sounded like a simple fix. I didn’t anticipate, uh, this,” he said, gesturing to the room and all the traces of sand. “Is there anything else you can think of? We must be missing something.”

“I’m not asking you to.” Grace frowned. She didn’t want to be pushy, not with Kaden, not with anyone. In regards to Regan, she wanted answers, but it wasn’t right for her to expect Regan’s boyfriend to divulge any information, especially when Grace barely knew him past their conversation about what was actually worth it and pie, and well, now, this. She dropped her arms from and began to fiddle with a loose string at the hem of her shirt. “Well, you wouldn’t be able to anyways.” She smiled at him, this time one that reached her eyes. There was a sadness in his eyes, and in his voice-- she wondered if it could be interpreted as pity, or if it was something else entirely. She shook the idea that it might be pity-- Kaden didn’t seem the type to offer it so freely. “Oh.” It sounded more like a noise than a word, but she didn’t bother to reiterate it. “I mean, if you’re making mistakes, there’s bound to be a way to fix them, right?” It made sense now, why he was pleading to fix something, to put something back together. She eyed him curiously, wondering what it was he could possibly be messing up-- he worked in animal control. Then again, he had Regan for a girlfriend, and even though Grace wasn’t entirely sure what Regan was, she knew it wasn’t human. “There’ll be things you can fix, and things you can’t fix…” Grace started, eyebrows pulled together, “and sometimes it’s harder to recognize, but the things you can fix, they’re usually the smaller picture things, and that’ll get you to the bigger picture thing, right?” Her words were stolen from her Grandmother, but Kaden wouldn’t know that. “It’s sort of like when you break a mirror. You don’t go for the bigger pieces first, you go for the smaller ones first, because those will hurt you the most later on.” Grace shrugged, “but I don’t know what you’re going through, so I mean--” She let out a harsh laugh, “it could mean nothing to you.” Grace bit the inside of her cheek as she tried to avert her gaze from Kaden, unsure if her words would do more to piss him off, console him, or to make him roll his eyes. At his question, she shrugged, “Uh.. no, but every time I come in and see more of it, Enter Sandman keeps playing in my head.”

“Is being stubborn a requirement for living in this building? Is that it?” Kaden huffed out a laugh but he did genuinely appreciate it in his own way. He wasn’t sure he liked anyone who would so easily bend over backwards or never try. Annoying as it could be to deal with sometimes. “I don’t think I can give my friend his leg back.” He’d tried to keep his voice flat and unemotional, but there was a small dip at the end. Shit. Guess he wasn’t as good at pretending to be okay as he thought. He pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to bring himself back off the edge. “Sorry. I… Sorry.” He didn’t mean to blurt it out like that. Too late now. “I-- I do get what you’re saying, though. I think.” He inhaled deep and let out a long exhale of breath, slowly. “Some of them can be fixed, though. And I’m trying.” He was probably taking on too much but there was no stopping him now. He didn’t need fae magic to bind his promises when he made them. It had been that way before Regan but he put even more care into them now. Still, her insight, what she said, it sounded… it sounded like she knew first hand. And it wouldn’t surprise him if she did have something in her past that was similar to his mess. The more and more he talked to her, the more the mirror she was talking about was right in front of him. “It means something, though. I get it.” He never thought he’d miss being at a morgue of all places but he had for a while now, it had been weeks since he’d stopped by. He was beginning to realize it wasn’t just Regan he was going to miss running into there on quick coffee runs and lunch breaks. It was a good group over there, Grace and Cece, too. “Enter Sandman?” he asked. “Isn’t it Mr. Sandman? You know, the so--” He stopped dead and blinked. There was no way. Was there? No. That was… it was just an urban legend, right? Then again, he knew better than to dismiss any legend or fairy tale, most had some origin in supernatural reality. “How… how have you been sleeping?” he said, turning to ask her.

“It must be something in the water.” Grace knew that Kaden was familiar with Blanche, maybe more than herself, and it was clear that both she and the other girl were keen on turning to their stubbornness rather than letting something just run them over. “Give your friend his what--” Grace asked, surprise coloring the tone of her voice. She had been caught off guard by his words, and for a moment, she wasn’t sure if he was exaggerating. It didn’t seem as though he had been. She swallowed thickly and looked down at the ground. Anger flared in him again, and for a moment, Grace had wished she had been like her grandmother-- because maybe if she was, she could ease his pain, even if it were artificial. Instead, she just felt too much, despite distance put between herself and those she cared about. Regan was an example of that. “I just didn’t expect it, is all.” Grace pressed her tongue against the roof of her mouth. She wasn’t sure what to say now, wasn’t sure if her typical morbid sense of humour would save the conversation or make it worse. Grace bit back the urge to mention something about a lizard, and instead offered him a consoling smile, or what mirrored one, “I mean, it can’t be your fault.. It’s not like you know, you… chopped it off or something.” Grace looked at him and wondered what had happened. It wasn’t her place to ask or inquire. The loss of a leg, that was something big, something that she wasn’t sure she wanted to know about. She had her own loss to worry about. The mood in the room overturned into confusion, into something entirely different from the previous anxiety that was beginning to weigh Grace down. When Kaden asked his question, her brows furrowed, “I never really sleep well, that’s nothing new. Why?” There was recognition now, she could even see it on his face. “Kaden, what?”

Kaden shifted in his stance a bit, his mouth pulling into a thin line as the guilt creeped back up from the pit he’d tried to bury it in for the time being. “I didn’t chop it off, no. But I did-- it’s my fault. I hesitated. In the field. And i invited him out there, I--” Deep breath, pull himself back in. “It’s my fault. At least some of it. I should have known better, been better.” Fuck, he wondered if this was too much. He saw the parallels of his position with Regan’s. He did. And he believed he was more at fault than she was. And in that case, the stark reality that Grace was in the same position as Alain hit him full force. Shit. He didn’t need to shove this in her face, force her to deal with more of this shit. It was bad enough he was a walking reminder of what happened by virtue of who he was dating. Two minutes. Could he get two minutes where he didn’t make everything worse? He rubbed his temples before shoving his hair back and out of his face again. “Yeah, well, I know it’s insane. But you said Sandman. And I’ve got to wonder if just maybe it’s actually… well, that.” Right this was going to go over well. He had no idea where she stood with the supernatural beyond being blasted by a banshee scream. “I know how that sounds, I really do but you know this town is fucking weird, right? You have to. And I’m not saying that it’s for sure but… I don’t know, maybe.”

His words caught her off guard once again. She wasn’t sure how to approach the subject of somebody’s leg being torn off of their body. Grace did, however, want to know what kind of animal had dismembered his friend. She stayed silent, though, pushing her own curiosity away. Now wasn’t the time. She could tell by his expression, the set of his shoulders-- the anger that rolled off of him, that silence was what he needed. Her brow furrowed at his change in expression, his change in emotion. It was like whiplash. Grace reached up to rub the back of her neck, pressing her index and thumb into the sides in an attempt to ease the ache that had been created by the bounce back and forth of Kaden’s emotions. “I don’t know what happened, but I doubt it was your fault.” Grace repeated herself. She didn’t want to toe the line of interfering, not when it was clearly something above her head. Instead, she decided to focus on the idea that Sandman could be wreaking havoc on her apartment building. Grace paused for a moment. “Sandman.” She tested the name on her tongue, it felt odd, felt like something she should be telling a small child, not a full grown adult. Anything could happen in this town, she reminded herself. She had helped, well, not helped, but seen reanimated corpses defeated, had seen fog fish with Nell-- had seen Renee’s ghost. “I-- I guess,” Grace stammered, suddenly unsure. “I mean, it was a joke, but…” Grace picked her brain for her Grandmother’s stories, “People go into a deep slumber, right? My Grandma used to tell me she would call the Sandman to put me to sleep.” Grace fumbled with the loose string at the hem of her shirt. “Somebody in our building, they wouldn’t wake up-- their roommate found them cataonic and they were taken to the hospital, it happened the day I got home.”

“Thanks for trying to absolve me. Wish it were that simple. But thanks,” Kaden told her, with an attempt at a smile. He noticed her pressing against the back of her neck. “You okay over there?” he questioned, tone of concern in his voice, more than he maybe meant to be there. Damint. If he kept adding to the list of people he cared about, he’d never stop, would he? Putain. The look of disbelief on her face after he suggested an urban legend as something more than that didn’t give him a whole lot of comfort, either. But she wasn’t giving him that look Regan did sometimes so it could be worse. And she seemed to be entertaining him at the very least. “I know, I know. But, well, it rained fish in town once. For weeks. This would be downright normal in comparison.” He nodded along with her story, all sounded right to him. The Sandman. He tried to pull from his well of knowledge from training. It was hard to say if what he knew about the Sandman was from stories or studies. If it was studies, it wasn’t in depth. Why waste time on legendary monsters when there were too many run of the mill ones to deal with on the daily as it was? “Wait, what?” he said, startled at what she said next. “They were catatonic? And wouldn’t wake up? Putain de merde.” He rubbed his temples again, trying to decide where to go from here. “Alright. Okay. I… I don’t know if this is right or real or what to do if it is but better safe than sorry. Do not let his sand come in contact with your eyes, got it? I don’t care what you have to do, wear goggles, a mask, whatever. Is there anywhere else you can stay? It might be the whole building, shit.” He was pacing by now, trying to think. “If it’s the building, you and Blanche and Ari can’t… Putain. Fuck. Grace, this place might not be safe. Do you have somewhere else to go?” He’d asked before but he was pretty sure she might not and he was already trying to run through solutions in his head. “Maybe we can get a shop vacuum or a ventilator or…”

“Oh, uh.” Grace quickly dropped her hand. “I’m fine.” It sucked when her company was just as observant as her, if not more so. Maybe she had been too tired in the hospital to notice it, or maybe it was the mix of all the other individuals that were crowding her, she couldn’t be sure-- however, now it was evident. Kaden had some serious issues, issues that were enveloped in what she assumed boiled down to not only Regan, but his friend with the lost leg. “Just a headache. They happen now.” Grace half-lied. She had noticed a constant ache in her head since the scream, but what she was experiencing now was purely due to Kaden’s back and forth. She was grateful for the change in subject. Kaden’s determination that what had been plaguing her building had been the Sandman was loud, loud enough to drown out whatever turmoil he had previously been undergoing. Grace blinked at him. “I think so, that’s what it sounded like.” She could’ve misheard, but she wasn’t sure. It seemed fitting for this town, and after everything that she had been through-- after everything that others had been through, it was hard to argue against it at this point, but the Sandman? “Wear a mask to sleep? Uh, I don’t, I don’t think so.” The last thing Grace wanted to do was impose on anyone, especially when it was clear that both Blanche and Ariana had their own issues to tend to. The last thing Grace wanted to do was insert herself, to make their problems bigger. Her stomach began to churn. She could see the worry in Kaden’s eyes, could feel it on him. It was beginning to make her think of this as a bigger issue than it was. “You just named the two people that if I had to ask anyone-- it’d be the most convenient.” Grace wrapped her arms around her frame and bit the inside of her cheek. She could go to the office, sleep on the floor. No. She wasn’t ready to go back, not yet. Just because she was on her way to forgiving Regan didn’t mean she was ready to approach the morgue. Grace swallowed thickly, Kaden’s unease burrowing into the frown now pulled at her lips. “If I’m not safe, they aren’t safe either, right?” Grace asked, and she suddenly felt worry for her friends.

“Okay.” Kaden wasn’t going to press the matter, especially not if it was related to that. Bigger issue was the Sandman, anyway. It wouldn't matter if she was feeling okay or got headaches if she went to sleep and didn’t wake up. He paused his pacing to rub his chin, lost in thought for a moment. “I know, I’ll maybe talk to them, too. See if they have options. Or if, I don’t know, you could check to see if they’re sand free. But I’m worried the issue might be the building.” His mind wandered to one very empty apartment at the moment. “Regan hasn’t been staying at her place for a while, I don’t think she’s going to be back anytime soon.” Right. Hey, Grace, go stay at your boss’s place, you know, the one who busted your ear, while she’s off living in a cabin in the woods being depressed and ritualistically torturing herself, it won’t be a problem. Putain. “Or, uh, maybe not. I mean, I have a couch but... “ It was a small place and he was worried she wouldn’t feel comfortable with that. Which would be more than valid. “I can ask if I can stay at her place and you take mine? For the moment? I don’t know.” This all sounded insane. And if it seemed intense and overbearing to him, someone who believed in this crap, how must it sound to her? Fuck. “It’s entirely possible I’m overreacting,” he said with a sigh. “But you said the sand keeps coming, right? Even after getting rid of it?”

“I think Blanche mentioned that there was sand in her apartment too, but I can’t remember.” The last few weeks had been a blur and getting out of the hospital had only added onto what Grace found hard to remember. She tightened her grip on her frame as she watched Kaden. His anxiety was palpable and it was making a sweat break out on the back of her neck. Taking a deep breath, she excused herself from him to the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water for the two of them. “Regan?” Grace asked over her shoulder. The thought of staying at Regan’s place while she was gone, it was laughable. “I don’t think she’d like that very much.” She isn’t even talking to me. Won’t talk to me, Grace thought. She approached Kaden with the glass of water and tentatively held it out for him to take. “That’s--” Discomfort bloomed in Grace’s chest. The last thing she would want to do would be to take somebody else’s space. She already felt guilty at the idea of asking either Blanche, Nell, or Ariana for a place to stay. “I think--” Grace began, but instead took a sip of her water. She needed to realign herself. His anxiety was beginning to make it hard for her to think logically. “Uh, yeah. No matter what I do, it’s there. It won’t go away.” She looked at the window where sand lined the sill, as well as the ground beneath of it. “It’s possible you’re overreacting, but--” Grace bit her lip. “I don’t really want to test it out.” Maybe Kaden’s anxiety was winning.

“Right, okay,” Kaden sighed and ran his hands through his hair. Kaden would definitely have to warn the other two. And possibly Regan about where he was staying. He thanked her for the water when she brought it over, didn’t realize how much thirst anxiety worked up. “I mean it,” he assured her, looking her directly in the eyes. “If Blanche and Ari need to stay there at all, too, the offer’s open to any or all of you. If this building is the problem, I don’t want to see any of you hurt.” He really wasn’t sure when his list of people he cared about grew so long. It was almost to the point of weirding him out. Protecting people? Trying to? That made sense to him, though. Guess he’d take it. “It’s not like you’re putting me on the streets, I spend half my time there any… way.” The sentence spilled out without him thinking about it and left his lips before he could even reconsider it. That was obsessively not true at the moment. Fuck. Though to be fair, no one was spending any time there. It’s not like he was imposing. “It’s up to you. If you have nowhere else to go, you’ve got me.”

It had been awhile since Grace felt cared for. At least, cared for in the form of an adult. With her Grandmother gone, and her relationship with her parents nonexistent, Regan was the only adult that had really come into Grace’s life that she felt the relationship had any meaning. Now, there was Kaden. She hadn’t anticipated it, but the more they interacted, the more she looked up to him as an older brother-- somebody she could rely on. The thought was terrifying. Grace didn’t want to think about relying on anyone, not when they had their own issues. “I appreciate it.” Grace murmured, immediately finding discomfort in the way that Kaden maintained eye contact. She could tell he meant it, not because she could feel the compassion in his words, but because the look on his face told her that he meant it. “I don’t have anywhere else to go,” Grace finally said. She didn’t have anyone, not really. Maybe four people now, but all of which she was terrified of inconveniencing. “It won’t be putting you out?” Grace asked after she took a sip of her water, her throat suddenly feeling dry at the thought of allowing somebody to help her.

“Then you can go to mine. Just let me know when.” This wasn’t how he expected to help, but Kaden was sure that he was at least trying to do the right thing. And that was worth it. Past all the other bullshit happening, this was worth it. “It wouldn’t be putting me out at all.” He wasn’t sure he was prepared to spend the night at Regan’s by himself just yet. But that didn’t matter. He’d get over it. He should probably ask her first but he had little doubt she’d argue with him. Not now, anyway. “Hopefully you’re not allergic to dogs. He’d come with me but I can’t exactly make it smell less like him.”

#chatzy #para: enter sandman #para: kaden #potw

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pandawritespoorly · 4 years ago

Text

And: Chapter 2 - Without

Author’s Note: Thank you all so much for your patience again! I meant to have this up on Tuesday, but between school finally starting back up, and getting back into the habit of regular updates, it just didn't happen. I promise I wasn't disappearing again!

First | Last

Marinette sits up when she hears a notification from that app. She and Chat had found a messaging app that they could both use without revealing their identities, and had been using it to communicate without having to transform.

It was already hard enough to sneak away for attacks, they didn’t need to make it more complicated.

It’s just a quiet study hour in the library, and she’s alone, so she pulls out her phone.

Cat Boy: hey bug

Cat Boy: weird question

Cat Boy: do you

Cat Boy: do u think that i weigh 2 much

Little Lady: no!

Little Lady: not at all kitty

Little Lady: underneath all that armor and magic leather im pretty sure your waist is the same size as mine

Little Lady: if anything you dont weigh enough

Little Lady: im bringing snacks on patrol

Little Lady: this is non negotiable

Little Lady: text me ur favorites

Little Lady: but later. what brought this on

Cat Boy: just civilian stuff

Cat Boy: i know i’m not overweight

Cat Boy: but seeing the numbers andstuff all the time it can kind of stick in ur head you know

Cat Boy: and then u start thinking about it

Cat Boy: and it sticks around longer

Little Lady: and then it’s taken root

Cat Boy: yeah

Little Lady: then we have some weeding to do >:(

Cat Boy: :)

Cat Boy: thanks bug

Little Lady: not a problem

---

Little Lady: do i do enough

Little Lady: like

Little Lady: all of this

Little Lady: is it good enough

Little Lady: paris and the kwamis and the akumas and hakwmoth

Little Lady: shouln’t I have fixed all of this bu now

Little Lady: it’s what im here for

Little Lady: but theres sill so much wrong and i feel like im not enough right to cancel it all out

Little Lady: and i just

Little Lady: i feel so bad

Little Lady: but half the time i dont even kno what i fel bad about u kno

Little Lady: i jsut fell bad

Little Lady: abuto evryting

Little Lady: o goodenss it 3 am

Little Lady: sory

Little Lady: ignreo tihs

Cat Boy: bug

Cat Boy: breathe

Cat Boy: five things you see

Little Lady: pilwo phonoe tiki cieling um

Little Lady: blankt

Cat Boy: four things you feel

Little Lady: bed

Little Lady: pilow hair sheets

Cat Boy: three things you hear

Little Lady: cars wind and keyboadr clicks

Cat Boy: two things you smell

Little Lady: the candle i had burning and bread

Cat Boy: bread?

Little Lady: bakery nearby

Cat Boy: oh okay

Cat Boy: one thing you taste

Little Lady: cookies

Cat Boy: there we go

Little Lady: thank you

Cat Boy: no problem

Cat Boy: do u want to talk

Little Lady: later. maybe on patrol?

Little Lady: i’m tired. haven’t slept all weekend

Cat Boy: …

Cat Boy: bug it’s MONDAY

Cat Boy: wait no

Cat Boy: TUESDAY

Cat Boy: go to bed

Little Lady: goodnight kitty

Cat Boy: gn littlebug

Today 9:32 AM

Little Lady: hey! im not that much shorter than you!

Little Lady: >:(((

---

“Are you sure, Lila?” Adrien asks, a frown creasing his face. “That doesn’t sound like something Marinette would do.”

“Well I-”

“My dude’s right,” Nino agrees, “That doesn’t sound like Nette at all.”

Adrien watches Marinette brighten quietly as the rest of the class comes to her defense. They all believe Lila still, yes, he’s not going to let the liar turn them on their Everyday Ladybug. Not on his watch.

After class, the dark haired girl approaches him. She gives him a soft hug, whispering a quiet ‘thank you’.

---

“Adrien,” Marinette calls.

The blond stops, turning. “Hey, Marinette. Did you need something?”

She shakes her head, giving a small smile, holding out a paper bag. “You were gone all morning for that photoshoot. I thought you might be hungry.”

Adrien freezes, staring at her in shock.

After a moment, she cringes, looking away. “B-but um, if you aren’t-”

He shakes his head, realizing his mistake. “No! No! Thank you so much! I just- You surprised me.” He gives her a grateful smile, trying to keep himself from crying. “I- that- I wasn’t expecting this. You’re wonderful, Marinette, really.”

She blushes violently as he takes the bag, digging into the pastries with a smile.

“I don’t usually remember lunch after shoots, so…”

She stares at him in horror. “That’s it,” she declares, “I’m bringing you lunch now. Everyday. No matter what.”

“How much? I’ll pay-”

“No, Adrien, we’re friends. You don’t need to pay me. Maman is always saying how she thinks you need to eat more anyways, so my parents would probably just give you free food if you so much as glanced in the window. I’m just making their dreams come true.”

He laughs, and she takes a moment to appreciate such a carefree look on the busy model’s face.

He’s happy.

That’s good.

---

Cat Boy: u okay bug

Cat Boy: u seemed upset today

Little Lady: im fine

Little Lady: just

Little Lady: tired

Little Lady: i should probably go now class will start soon

Cat Boy: okay

Cat Boy: if you say so

Adrien tries not to let his worry for his partner show as he slips his phone into his pocket and makes his way to Bustier’s class.

The battle was easy - Ladybug didn’t even need her Lucky Charm - but Cataclysm had been a requirement for this particular fight, so he hadn’t had time afterwards to check in with his friend.

He’s never good at focusing when he’s worried.

Nino slings an arm around him as they meet up on their way to class.

“Hey dude, um, I hope you don’t mind sitting with Nette today. She’s pretty wiped out - Al’s said she said somethin’ about a big commission? I dunno’, but we figure the less high up she is, the better, so I’m takin’ her seat today so she can go ground level.”

“Oh that’s fine! Is she okay?”

Nino gestures at the girl as they enter. She’s slumped forward, making her already small form even smaller, and while her sketchbook is out, the page is blank, and her pencil isn’t anywhere to be seen. There’s a to-go cup of coffee in the corner of the desk, and her head rests on her hand, her eyes staring blankly forward, unresponsive.

Adrien winces. “Goodness.”

“Yeah…” Nino shakes his head, then heads towards the girl’s usual seat. “You take care of her, alright?”

Adrien nods, sliding into his usual seat. “Hey, Mari,” he greets softly.

She straightens, blinking a few times before turning to face him with a weak smile. “Hey.”

“You feeling alright?”

She doesn’t get a chance to respond before Ms. Bustier walks in and class starts.

The lesson feels slow. Between Marinette and Ladybug, Adrien has the urge to hug someone and tell them that they’re okay, and that they’re good.

Both girls, at this point. The look in Marinette’s eyes is the same as Ladybug’s when she’s overworking herself to avoid thinking about something. The nights when he sees her patrolling even though she isn’t scheduled and he has to transform to go talk her into resting. The fights where she throws herself at akumas less thoughtfully, more brash. The post-battle interviews where her answers are slightly delayed, her eyes endlessly tired.

So when class is finally over, Adrien puts a gentle hand on her shoulder to keep her from going. Once everyone has filed out, he gives a small, worried smile.

“Are you feeling okay, Marinette?”

“I’m fine.”

“Marinette.”

She hesitates, her eyes straying from his to stare at nothing in particular. “I’m fine, Adrien, really. I’m just… just tired.”

“The coffee probably isn’t helping,” he teases.

“The coffee is my lifeblood.” She smirks, then sighs. “But I’m more than just sleep-tired.”

“Oh.”

She stands, gathering her things. “But thank you. For asking. And for caring.”

“Not a problem.” He hands her her sketchbook. “You deserve it.”

She looks at the sketchbook, then at his smile, and gives a genuine one of her own. “Yeah. Yeah I do.”

---

Author’s Note: Next (and final) chapter will be up sometime next week! I'll try to post weekly one-shots until I have A Shy 'Sparrow' fully written, and then I'll put that on a regular schedule.

Thank you all so much! Have a lovely day and stay safe! 💞

First | Last

#miraculous ladybug #and #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #good friends #good partners #partners support each other #tired marinette dupain cheng #hurt/comfort #fanfic

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yunohawkeye · 6 years ago

Text

Kenshin x Child!MC

This One Shot was requested by @datemasamunemaiwaifu I tried my best!~

Word count: 1468

It was evening while Kenshin and MC were cuddled up in their shared futon. His arms were curled aroud her and her head seated on his chest. With a loving gaze directed at her almost sleeping face he whispered “I love you” The last thing Kenshin saw was a sincere smile on MCs face as she drifted off into dreamland. With a warm feeling inside of his stomach he allowed himself to close his eyes and let her breathing lull himself to sleep.

The moment Kenshin opened his eyes he knew something was wrong. At first he thought MC wasn’t with him in the futon anymore until he felt something small and fragile move against his lower abdomen and he froze for a moment. He slowly lifted up his blanket and saw MC cuddled up to him. But she wasn’t the grown women he loved. She looked like a little child! What kind of witchcraft was this? But there was no time left to stare due to the child waking up. MC stirred because of the chilling freeze coming over her. After some blinking she looked Kenshin in the eyes. In the exact moment her face lit up and a girly giggle escaped her little mouth accompanied by a yawn.

Kenshin.exe stopped working

After a few minutes of Kenshin just staring he stood up muttering under his breath “I need some sake” and rushing out to Sasukes room, leaving the child confused, alone and on the brink of tears.

MC tried not to cry while being cuddled up in the blanket. But her attempt was interrupted when the door slipped open again, revealing a tall man “MC? I just saw Kenshin storm down the hallway. What happe-?” SHingen stopped dead in his tracks as he saw the little girl sitting there. During some sniffles MC spoke up “Shingen?” After sorting his thoughts he replied “Yes, little princess?” “Why doesn’t Kenshin like me anymore?” “Oh, he does! He loves you very much, my dear. But... want me to show you how much I love you?” Suddenly MCs face lit up and she beamed a heavenly smile in SHingens direction. “Then come! I’ll treat you with as much sweets and toys as you demand, little princess” he promisedwhile holding out his hand for her to grab. She jumped up without hesitation and followed him out of the room.

“...so there shouldn’t be any problems. She should be turned back to normal tomorrow and won’t remember anything that happans today“ “Hm... I guess I can work with that“ Kenshin spoke while lowering the sword on Sasukes throat. “So I jsut have to wait and keep her from harm until tomorrow?“ “Correct“ Kenshin left with an unamused grunt and made his way back to MC. What am I going to do with her? What do girls her age like? I have to keep her away from any sharp objects and danger in general. And most important, apart from Sasuke, nobody is allowed to know about her current condition.

But the moment he opened the door to their shared room his plans were destroyed. MC was nowhere to be found. He instantly started to search everywhere in Kasugayama castle. He would search for her in whole Echigo if needed. After half an hour he overheard some vassals talking “Have you seen lord Shingen today?” “Yes, he went arounnd with a little girl today. Do you think it may be his daughter?” “No, I don’t think so. Maybe some other kinf of relative?” “Where did you see them?“ Kenshin asked bluntly. Both vassals froze up and after some moments of intense staring one of them answered “U-uhm... I saw them heading to lord Shingens room“ “Thanks. That’s all I need“ He immediatelly turned around and left with a dark aura surrounding him.

“Want some konpeito, too?“ “Yes, please!“ “Here, have some“ Shingen replied and hended MC some. “Thank you!” She smiled and stuffed way too much to fit in her mouth which led a sincere smile oto the warlords face. But the carefree atmosphere vanished when the dor was opened forcefully by a boiling Kenshin whose blade found its way to Shingens throat in a mere second. “You’re dead” “My, my~ I just took care of our little princess after you left her alone. I don’t really think I deserve a sword on my throat for that” “She isn’t our princess” Kenshin answered while staring into Shingens eyes with a deadly glare. After some time he let his weapon down and looked at MC. She was scared. His guard instantly dropped when he saw her at the brink of tears because of HIM. Shingen was instantly frogotten. He jumped over his shadow, held out a hand for her, gave her a sincere smile and asked “May I take you out as an apology for making you cry?” Not completely sure if she could trust him after he threatened someone with a sword she glanced over to Shingen who just gave her an honest, friendls nod which encouraged her to go. She let her hand glide into his and followed him out of the room.

After they arrived on a little field Kenshin stopped and sat down with his back against a tree. With a move of his hand he offered her to sit in his lap whick she accepted. A few moments later an army of bunnies approached them and snuggled themselves onto Kenshin which made MC lighten up and giggle at how cute they were. “Want to hold one?” “Yes!” With a swift motion of his hand he picked one up and laid it on her lap. MC immerdiatelly let her fingers glide through its fur and smiled. Kenshin on the other hand stared at her all the time. Her smile, which was more innocent then normal, made his heart beat faster and fall in ove with her all over again. His thoughts drifted away as MC fell asleep while still holding the bunny in her lap which deided to join her slumber.

He thought about what it would be like if this wasn’t MC but her daughter. And it wouldn’t be temporarily like the situation they were in at the moment. He would be able to watch his daughter grow from a baby into a child into a beatiful woman. Kenshin wasn’t able to fight the smile that crept over his lips. He decided that this was something he wanted.

Deep in thoughts he didn’t realize MC was waking up. She slowly reached for his sword and put it out to inspect it. But this triggered something in the god of war and he instantly grabbed it. “WHat do you think you’re doing?” “I... I’m sorry. I jsut wanted to take a look” After some silence he let out a sigh he released it and said in a sharp tone “Okay... But only this one time. And you have to promise me to be careful. I couln’t stand the thought of you hurting yourself” MC answered with a nod and let her hands roam over it slowly. After some time she put it back where it belonged and yawned. “Come” “Huh?” “It’s time for bed” “But why? I’m not tired!” “You just yawned” “That doesn’t mean I’m tired!” “That exactly means that you’re tired. I had some conversations with Sasuke about it” “No! It doe- *yawn* -sn’t!” After an are-you-kidding-me-look from Kenshin he spoke up “I’m bringing you to bed” Without giving her time to answer he picked her up and went to their room while almost losing a gifht against a 5-yer-old that didn’t want to go to bed. The moment he lied down with her MC catched him completely off-guard. “Can you sing me a lullaby?” “Wha-? No!” “Pretty please!” “I just said that-” “Please!!” A little bit startled and accepting his defeat Kenshin muttered almost unaudible “Is it okay if I hum? I... don’t really know how to sing” MC repied with a really happy nod. With a sigh escaping his lips Kenshin jumped over his shadow and started humming a lullaby until she fell asleep and after a while of staring at her peaceful face he drifted off to sleep, too.

The next morning he woke up to MC being her normal self again and the thoughts from yesterday returned in his mind. The happiness he felt when she was seated in his lap and the thought of her being their child. Slowly MC started opening her eyes and smiled as she saw Kenshins thoughtful face staring at her “Good morning Kenshin” “What do you think about children?” “What do you think about children?” came the same question bluntly from him again. “Where does that come from all of a sudden?” “Just a thought... and a great experiece”

Phew~ I finally finished it! I hope it isn’t too OOC ^^

And requests are still open~

#ikemen sengoku #ikesen #one shot #kenshin uesugi #kenshin #ikesen kenshin #request

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dxmedstudent · 6 years ago

Note

What would you say is better about being a doctor compared to being a medical student (other than earning money!)? I was pleasantly surprised by how much i enjoyed my first clinical year - I like talking to patients, taking histories, our teaching sessions, and bookwork is usually fun too because I like the subject matter. But I worry that perhaps being a student is much more enjoyable than the actual job - minimal stress, responsibility, less exhaustion, probably more free time. (1/2)

I also worry that while I've had some good feedback from doctors this year and done well in my exams, I won't be able to hack it as a doctor. Are there lots of people who enjoy medical school but find the reality of being a doctor too much? (2/2)

That’s a tough question. I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s money (though there have been shifts where the only positive factor seemed to be ‘well, at least you got paid for this’), because you don’t have to be a doctor to earn money. I know that’s not the intent of that sentence; you meant that compared to being a student where you work hard and don’t get paid, at least when you’re working, that’s one thing in its favour. And you’re right. But equally, if medicine is ever bringing you down, I want all of you to remember that if you’ve gotten yourself through medicine, you can earn a living also doing lots of other things if it doesn’t appeal. Working as a doctor is nice because you finally feel like you’re fully involved in the healthcare decisions. You get to make things happen. It feels like a dizzying responsibility at first, because you feel like it all hinges on you (and at times, it does). But you’re also not alone; the more senior I get, the more I look out for my juniors and try to make sure they aren’t left with cases they can’t handle. Yes, there’s more stress when you work, but a lot of the work is still... admin. Board rounds and TTOs. Drug charts and prescribing routine things. Even ward rounds; most of the decisions you’ll be making won’t be life or death in any sense of the word; most of what we do quickly becomes routine. So it’s not a constantly highly stressful life, though there is often just a lot to get done, and you’ll always feel like you’re behind on something. Which is actually pretty similar to med school, except your ability to prioritise and get stuff done has an effect on others, not just yourself. The first clinical year is a big jump from lectures; my university did start some clinical exposure from day 1, whch I feel lessened that particular blow, but I know that for some friends who attended very traditional/split med schools with a clear pre-/clinical split, it felt like quite a jump. But it’s great that you enjoyed it, because the biggest strain is when people realised they like the theory of the body, but don’t actually like the role of doctoring. Some students realise this as soon as they start clinicals; it can happen anywhere, but anecdotally most people think it’s particularly likely at universities that emphasise research and theory for the first years, merely because they end up more likely to self-select candidates who are really more suited to being researchers than doctors. Which is fine; anyone should be free to leave medicine and do what they want with their knowledge, if doctoring isn’t for them. But I think it’s important for med school to try to slowly prepare you from early on. My first degree trained me to be a scientist, my second one trained me to be a doctor, and despite the science being similar, the two had to be very different. Sometimes people leave medicine after they start working; I think the reasons there are more complex. Some people realise that it was different from what they wanted it to be, from the minute they start. As you say, the theory can be different to the practice. Or perhaps they never wanted to be in medicine, tried to please their parents for years, and ultimately ended up pleasing themselves instead, doing what they actually want to do; in which case it’s really a happy decision for them. Not everyone enjoys med school, after all; some of those people end up loving medicine, others don’t. And sometimes people stay in medicine but are miserable in it; that’s not really better in the longterm. Some people just have other things they realise they’d much rather be doing. Maybe they don’t want to work nights any more. Maybe they just want time to spend with their loved ones; you jsut can’t conceptualise the reality of shift work and all the ‘eportfolio and progression stuff’ we have to do for work outside of work hours, like exams, until you’re there. Maybe they just want a simple job that pays and that they can leave at the door. Maybe they are tired of the emotional toll of the job, or maybe they are tired of the limitations of the system, and how unneccessarily stressful it makes things sometimes. Others just realise it’s more stressful and bad for their mental health than they thought; I’m not going to lie, it’s simultaneously less horrific and also tougher than I ever imagined, and I don’t know quite how to explain that statement except to say that life is just tough in general, and medicine is another superimposed layer of toughness on top of that. I can’t lie, it’s tiring. The reasons why people don’t get on in medicine are varied; I wouldn’t say that it’s always because medicine in theory was different, but the reality is pretty challenging even to us who knew what we were expecting. I wrote on my personal statement, and spoke in my interviews about the emotional and physical toll; about stress and burnout and shiftwork, and ever-studying, etc. I knew it’d wreck my social life and stress me out. I saw bits and bobs as a student. But it’s not the same as doing it. And even when you start, doing it for 6 months is not the same thing as doing it for 6 years; people sometimes just get tired of it. In reality, you just won’t know til you get there. So, arguably, there’s no point in worrying a lot about it now; you can’t predict how much you’ll enjoy a job before you’ve even started. Particularly if you’re enjoying it now, it would be a shame to mar that experience by worrying about how much you’ll enjoy it in 10 years time! What matters right now is that you’re doing well and enjoying it, which is about the best as it gets! So try to take things one step at a time, and see what happens. Part of managing my own anxieties about the ever-escalating Bigness and Seriousness of medicine was my slowly learning to accept that I can’t worry about all the problems well in advance of them, well, actually being a problem. Because when you do, it becomes really overwhelming and looks impossible. I just have to trust that wherever I end up in 10 years, future-me will be able to deal with that, and make the best decisions for herself based on what’s going on then. And that’s probably what got me through med school, so I’m passing it on to you. Future-you will figure things out when you get there; trust that you’ll do what’s right for you at the time. Good luck, and hope you enjoy the rest of med school :)

#ask #for the anons #askdx #ask dx #anonymous #anon #anons #asks #questions #dx dates #dxdates #dating

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infinitd · 4 years ago

Text

Guilty

This is the last one. I’m already hovering the delete button but I have to type this one out first. It’s been sitting stewing and now festering in the back of my mind for way too long now. I’m guilty of way too much all at the same time and all of them with the singular cause that is me. Maybe this blog is public in that secret shared way some thigns get and the whole squad has BEEN reading it and trying to give healing and support in their own way without really knowing. lol. NOT. Well.... Where to even begin? Weed? Lix? Lovers? Parents? Brain? Siblings? Art? Pretty cool how they present themselves like that once you open the double bolted, extra secured walled off and guarded door. So lets do the order they’re already in. Weed Is great and now it gives me anxiety and mild panic attacks. I get so paranoid I feel like the whole world is watching me and even now the primary craving is for fucking nicotine of all things and the association built between the 2 are too strong to break. Not that it would even be useful to. Weeds usefullness has run its course in my life and a dependancy I have spent the better part of a decade now has to go unsatisfied with a complete reversion to sobriety because alcohol was gotten over LONG ago. I’m still tending towards bingeing behaviour with that but its almsot always a reaction rather than an actual desire to get fuucked up. No more high nights floating just under my ceiling . Hours and hours of dota and that most NEET night time routines. No more weed first thing at parties or braais and hanging with friends too stoned to converse or just talking about weed like its the only thing in my life. Prepare for a million comments on how different I am and a tacit understanding that I probably wanna get high until everyone gets used to the idea of me just being and then aggresively EXISTING again. Along with all the negative attention that comes with that I have completely lost understanding and connection with. Well that’s weed I guess (Shit i got distracted and Imma have to read all this shit again )

Lix

The bestie thing is all fucked up and my (probably correct) suspicion is that he’s just good old tired of me. I nthat friend way. There is literally no value to my friendship. Not even material and he’s unemployed at the moment so you know it’s bad. That last cash send felt like paying rent on a friendship and I figure he must have also felt pretty gross taking it even though he needed it. Lol I wont be doing that again.I’m just intellectually and emotionally inferior at the moment, Fuck the complex. It’s just faxx now. The other one is at least figureing out (bizarre and mildly fucked up) shit for himself but Stormu no Kyodai really is just about over now. The bands broken up and all those successful bands breakups make sense now. You’ve just drawn every but of moisture and goodness out of a thing and it gets husky and weird to keep tending to it. I haven’t been a decent human being never mind friend for so long that I completely udnerstand and agree with how I’m being handled. It doesn’t even hurt that bad. It’s just weird and awkward for everyone involved and it does me no good to be catching shots. especialyl when i’m not really doing anything about it then and there. It’s only ever fun if I have a reply and this time I don’t. not even a little one. Just weak allusions to “progress” when it’s just good old fashioned laziness now. So this I deserve and I’m trying to cultivate my own friendships but my source material to work with now isn’t great and invariably I will probably find myself in a similar position to him before long. That weed addition is pretty rough on anything truly meaningful. All in all it is pretty sad that things can go this way especialyl with the newest addition of having productive and contributary friends in your life. Of course it’sa good thing but it did kinda eliminate me from the running and that makes me lame. Now it’s just navigating this kinda weird and uncomfortable space where he wont say shit to cause damage. I wotn say shit cos I have hope and in the meanwhile the relationship will circle the proverbial drain until distance, time or some other factor snaps the last frayed string. But it is what it is. Lovers

Is actualyl kinda good. The one thing i’ve reconciled at the seeming expense of everything else is love and relationships and my ways of dealing and itneracting with em. I don’t miss exes and I don’t pine over lost lovers other that the typical momentary lapses which is cool. My current love is great. She’s good to me and I’m trying to be to her and its just good, Good all round. All good. Goodness. I sometimes feel like im trying to convince my self of something when it coems to this but actions and results sort of show themselves and it’s just been a constant relief since I’ve surrendered to it really. I’m not even holding my breath for it to last or building foundation. I’m just doing and that seems to work out best when it comes to just about everything.( This does not Feel Good Inc). PRetty wild to me that the lvoers part of this is by far the shortest and best handled but its revelaton did come at the cost of everyting else so yeah...

Parents Is god fucking awful. I mean in truth it’s kind of incredible. I’ve got the best pair imaginable on my team but it’s the resignation that kills my heart of hearts. There is no more expectation of hope or action. No drive or threats. Just plain shoulder shrugs and even that i deserve but when I finally figred it out it floored me. I have no idea baout their intentions or plans anymore. I’m completely out of the loop for the whole family it seems and I’m jsut waiting for the announcement of the intervention or the move out order or the random cash giveaway to get rid of me, I don’t even know but if not for mom I’d have been kicked out long ago. That’s pretty much a certainty and that “mothering” thing is startign to show both it’s calue and its problems. It’s far too comfortable a place to give up easily especially when you don’t bother to be really self aware. But here we are typing the things out. That’s ...a thing.... That they’ll never read or know about and that’s ok.

Brain

Is poop cos I smoked too much but its Ok too. The regeneration process is gonna be a trip of its own. Really uncomfortable and loopy with unexplainable feelings and intuitions but that’s also OK. Better than Ok it’s recovery. The body will will be right there trhrough the process. I’m even interested in things again. Siblings is also a bit fucky. The disappointment is tangible but they’re not allowed to give up yet. We all inherited that one and it does help when i see the glimmers of hope. I don’t feel garbage but it normally starts with e being normal and not being in my head while interacting. Doing that assuming the best thing I used to be so good at. E is over me and kinda frustrated. Very Kev of him. Neez is trying but she has another baby to babysit and care about and I’m a tangential concern at best. The Suicide scare kind of reminded them of my existence in a weird but valuable way but it’s not an angle Im really trying to take. Especially now that I jsut realised what that anrrative ust look like to everyone it was shared withg hand it certainly was with khan which means by extension by the rest of the family. Probably explains strange interations now while i’ve been willfully poblivious and now I have to work to be cool again but it also wont ever be the same again unless someone else fucks up. But that’s a life long journey and doesn’t feel like it has the same urgency as the others. I’m alot more understood than I thought I was and that’s not a bad thing .

Art I’m going to go and make art and eat my girlfriends pussy and that’ll make me feel better and I’m excited for that.

Goodbye old complainy tumblr

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sambashua · 7 years ago

Text

11 questions tag~

i was tagged by @achuu-nice @s-lay-ing and @maetaamong for the 11 questions game where you answer 11 q’s then write 11 new q’s! a good time! (y’all this is 33 questions bear w me)

nom’s q’s

how are you? :D I’M GREATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT i hope you are too:D

sad ballads or happy upbeat songs? okay so like.. both so much.. but if i rlly had to choose i’d go for ballads bc i’m rlly a soft binch at heart (but red flavor will never not get me lit)

fave anime movie? maybe ponyo? or howl’s moving castle? i also really liked the girl who lept through time! (all credited to wonhankwan movie squad)

dogs or cats? bOTH i refuse to choose (but i got dos gatos)

do you keep stuffed animals in your room? no:( i have some on a shelf at my dad’s house tho? and i have mr. troll in my apt living room!

someone you miss? @atshinee :(

describe your phone case? iT’S GOT MOOMIN EATIN SOME CARROTS OR EGGS IT’S UP FOR DEBATE

favorite lore/myths? i’ve always been a percy jackson ho but i always thought persephone and that story was cool?? also the labyrinth

eardbuds or headphones? earbuds bc headphones are real expensive

can I steal your heart? i actually don’t have one to steal bc you already took it nom:’(

favorite thing about your ult bias? uMMMMMMM prObABLy his smile♡ (i say smth different everytime but i feel like i neglect his visuals oops)

cloud’s q’s

Do you know a ksong by heart? (bc I don’t :x I can hum a trillion tho) haaaaaaa well i mean i can’t speak korean ofc but i can p much believably sing all of seventeen’s title tracks.. and i generally sing along to every song ever even if i don’t know it??? oH I LEARNED ALL THE WORDS TO IF IT IS YOU BY JUNG SEUNG HWAN BC I LOVE IT exhibit a b and c for why!

When it comes to friendships, are you low or high maintenance? (As in your friends gotta talk everyday with you or you’ll feel like the friendship is dying OR if you can spend days without talking to them yet you still remain close) i like to think i’m a pretty low maintenance person! i’m easy-going by nature and i don’t mind silence at all and don’t even find it awkward usually. i have friends i don’t talk to for months on end and then we get together maybe once a year and we still remain close:) i like to think i’m easy to talk to so that could be part of it?

Do you have a secret that you will take to the grave? (Ofc I’m not asking you to reveal it) ajhfdksl tbh i don’t think so??? i’m kind of a private person.. but if someone asked me smth specific i wouldn’t not tell them ? idk tho i used to be a bit of a pathological liar so~~~

Recommend me 5 songs (not necessarily kpop songs) i’ll rec some non kpop since i’m sure you would know anything i recced ajkdhfjdk

honey - kehlani

to build a home - the cinematic orchestra (aka chanhee’s all time favorite song which makes me really emo)

broken clocks - sza

waves - young the giant

window seat - thomston, wafia

bonus! flirt right back - backbear :)

What do you prefer?: first, second or third gen kpop songs? third gen! since that’s when i joined i’m really into it at this point! also i think the variety of music is sooo much wider than it used to be? i’m not super in tune w all the older groups but i think it’s insaneeee how many groups there are rn snd they all have a lot to offer!

What’s the cheeeeeeeeeesiest thing you’ve done? (one time a former friend of mine was telling me about a problem she had and at the end of our convo I kissed her in the forehead bYE) um legit cloud i am cheesy 25/8 catch me being a soft snuggly bean popping trash puns left and right every day of the week

If you were asked to participate in a variety show, which one of the following would you pick and why? (Pick two!): problematic men, master key, hello counselor, weekly idol, one fine day, law of the jungle i think i’d go on weekly idol! i would wanna go toe to toe w doni and coni bc they’re always so harsh to lil baby idols ahhaha i wanna take them on!

Your top 10 kpop songs of 2017? binchhhh i’ll just go by my top nine according to spotify and my number one for apple music:)

When You Love Someone - Day6

Heartbreaker - NCT 127

My First and Last - NCT DREAM (also dunk shot tho byeeee)

Baby Don’t Like It - NCT 127 (tbh don’t remember listening to it this much what)

BABE - Hyuna

Like This - Pentagon

A Supplementary Story: You Never Walk Alone - BTS

Rollin’ - Brave Girls !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eclipse - LOONA (Kim Lip)

Wake Me Up - B.A.P

bonus! Coloring Book - Oh My Girl :)

Would you rather live in a huge mansion or a compact studio house? definitely a studio house! for sooo many reasons: 1) i hate walking 2) cleaning a large house is the worst 3) if i had the option to spend that much i’d just get a smaller house and spend money on more important things!

Tell me a fun childhood story (I’ll start! One time an aunt gave me money to buy ‘papas’ (potatoes) at the grocery store so bc I’m obedient af I went and asked the counter lady how many of em could I buy with the money I had so she went ‘uhh, not many tbh’ so i ended up getting like two and when I returned to my aunt’s house she laughed her ass off and said: I meant ‘papas fritas’ (potato chips) Not those! - and uh yeah this is funnier in Spanish but it proves that I’m such an innocent angel I mean wow) gIRL I WISH I COULDA SEEN THAT SPANISH EXCHANGE I DEFINITELY LAUGHED um????????? yo idk i can’t think of anything help uhhhh okay so when my sister and i were little our house was two stories so we’d take our stuffed animals and tie plastic bags to them and make them skydive ahahha but it wasn’t too satisfying for obvious reasons so we just attached this one stretchy pink scarf to them and make them bungee jump from the railing ajfdhgfdls classic

If you were offered to start a band, would you accept? yEAH if someone offered i would assume i had the talent and ability so.. yes.. even if i didn’t and someone offered i’d still say yes bye

kiki’s q’s

Link your favourite playlist here if you can and if you can’t write out the first 10 songs on it! (Not a question but shh) here she isssss okay wait so she’s not my go to playlist tbh but she has a mix of western and kpop so.. enjoy!

Is your current ult bias your first ult bias? If not who was your first? yes :) my first ever bias was joon but i didn’t even know what an ult was for a long time and by the time i found out i knew all along wonu was my boy

Who is your ult bias? jeon wonwoo ofc

Who is more likely to hog the aux cord, you or your ult? um me.. i’m kinda a hoe w music like i always play it.. when i drive my friends i am in charge of music bc duh it’s my car but then when they drive me they usually ask if i wanna play music ahahhaha MAYEB THEY’RE JSUT SAYING I HAVE GOOD TASTE THO????

Who is more likely to forget an important date, you or your ult? def wonwoo.. that boy couldn’t remember his own birthday if he didn’t pay attention.. for some reason i have a steel trao mind for dates?

Who is more likely to ask the other to pick them up after work, you or your ult? i like driving so i’d say maybe wonwoo? but i feel like he might be the type to want to offer to drive you.. who am i kidding that boy is always tired

Who is more likely to write the other a hand written note expressing themselves rather than just saying it, you or your ult? i think wonwoo.. i get the vibe that we’re both a bit emotionally inept and we would both have trouble expressing ourselves but he might find comfort w writing things down he’s a romantic binch he reads too much not to be

Who is more likely to cry when a dog dies in a movie, you or your ult? me bc dat ho doesn’t like dogs smh.. his only fault (jk he a mess)

Who is more likely to almost burn the house down while cooking, you or your ult? wonu? just bc i’m not that clumsy? he could do it tho

Who is more likely to start a pillow fight, you or your ult? neither of us we’re too tired

Who is more likely to ask the other to come over to cuddle with them so that they can fall asleep better, you or your ult? meeeeee i’m a cuddly bitch and he isn’t rip.. but he would do it for me he better

my questions:D

If you could travel anywhere, but were completely by yourself, where would you go?

What inspires you?

How many pets would you have in your ideal future? Any specific names or types in mind?

What are you opinions on fedoras

how many spoons can you balance on your face at once (picture or video proof preferred (i’m trying to get someone to do it pls anyone))

What is your favorite type of tree?

If you could convince one person to like kpop who would you convert?

What are three things you are normally associated with and/or what are three things you want to be associated with?

If you were in a kpop group what position would you hold (ie. leader, main vocal, moodmaker, etc) feel free to tag your mutuals and who they would be!

If you could have any wild animal as a tame pet what would it be?? (i’m ocelot loyal all the way)

What is your opinion on mint chocolate chip ice cream? (for maj)

i’m going to tag @yongpal-i !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (are you happy sister) @strawberryboo @everyonesabiaswrecker @kiheehyunie @indiepoptime @jungnoir @hwallsgrl @lipstick-chathao @yongceo @undinefin @kihqun @definitelythis @g-te @justsomekpopstuff (tagged you back:D) and @jeonwoooo if you guys want to try it out!!

#tagged #it's too late and i should sleep bc of classes wahhh #I HAVE TO LEAVE SO EARLY RIP ME #thank you for tagging me guys!!!#i was real excited to answer them lol #okay goodnight #you guys should tell me what you think if you listen to the songs #👀👀👀#mir moos

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letterstoava · 6 years ago

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Nov 5, 1:41 am

hey

I’ve been so anxious lately. maybe that’s because i finally have things i’m scared to lose. either way, i’m really sick of feeling this way.

i miss you so much. i get to see you in a few weeks though so that’s something i’m holding on to. I really hope you’re doing well.

I sometimes worry that because i lean on you so much and always come to you with problems and stuff that i’m not as good of a friend to you as you are to me. I really want to be someone that you can lean on and who will check in and take care of you and be as wonderful and supportive as you have been. I’m going to really work on being that person. You deserve a friend who is as great as you are to me and i wanna be that person.

okay so checking in:

i’ve been meaning to ask how the 100 days of no sex has been going! whether or not you’ve made it this far, I am so proud of you. You making that decision to really take control and watch after yourself was so adult and responsible and really mature and I’m really really proud of you.

This isn’t quite as satisfying as sending and receiving paper mail but

idk whatever works, right? it feels different from just texting so that’s something. it’s pretty late here though and i’m exhausted so it could just be my sleepy braain thinking this is a good idea.

i really do miss you. i wish i had a car here so i could take a roadtrip up to visit you. i wanna meet all your new friends and see your dorm room (and pee on ur roommates bed) and just see you in person in general.

you’re one of my all time favorite people in the world amd i love you so much and miss you so much and i can’t wait to see you over thanksgiving.

i’m gonna try to fall asleep now (i’ms sick again! yay!) so i dojn’t totwlly die tomorrow (sorry for all the spelling errors i’m jsut soo tired so like i can’t be bothered to fix all of them)

but yeah i will talk to you soon and ig we will see if this is a good idea or no

ily

-chad

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alexisdrems · 3 years ago

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Ice I want to talk to you

I do not hate you you're not a horrible person but enough is enough

But I need to come foward

Say I'm an asshole all you want but this is the truth...

I never meant to hurt you

I jsut wanted yo try my hardest to reassure you but I was kinda off my game of comforting others that day

And I'm so sorry you misunderstood it as me trying to attack you for your depression and anxiety problems

I wouldn't ever try to purposely do that ever to you or anyone because I know it's not ok and I should know more than anybody how it feels to feel like everyone gates you and will abandon you.. So please please understand I just wanted to help but couldn't do my best that day

But the way you're responding to this isn't ok this isn't me saying " omg you're a bad person!! " this is me saying you've kinda fucked up yourself it's not bad to acknowledge you did something wrong

Yes I kinda sent you a message and made a post that doesn't solve anything but at least I'm not trying to witch hunt you like you're trying to witch hunt me from my perspective, you need to know something extremely important. Witch hunting doesn't make you better or righteous, kinda makes you an ass. And I know you felt hurt but please know I'm sorry I came off differently than intended but you also gotta known that going after someone and never leaving them be.

Doesn't make anything better

Only makes it worse

That's why people tell people not to go after and attack people even if they did something awful on purpose

Because 1. It solves literally nothing to attack ppl 2. It doesn't make you better than them at all or right depending on the situation it kinda makes you jsut as much as an asshole as they seem or you think they are.

Another thing the memes I may be realizing I feel I wasn't really reacting to them but to this whole situation

I get confrontation anxiety which is why I've been hiding from you

Because even if I'm a 16 year old I am scared of you finding and trying to attack and mock me

I can't handle confrontation I become numb and shaky and it's hard for me to face you...

You're actions have had a little impact on my trust in people.. And I'm saying this as an explanation why I keep hiding on alts

Because I am SCARED I am not a fan of confrontation but I know hiding will not solve anything either so I'm trying my hardest to solve this

I just want us to come to a civil discussion

And then finally move on from this

I wanna move on

And I want you to move on too

It's the only way foward

Ik it's hard to take me seriously because you hate me... But it was a few mistakes I made... And I'm apologizing gor the misunderstanding and my irrational decisions made from extreme stress.

I'm coming forward now because I gotta do it eventually

I have to face you and it's scary

It really is

Doing this gets you no where

It makes you seem kinda like a dick

Yes even if you feel revenge is sweet but

How would you feel

If you made mistakes and were being attacked for it? For me it's upsetting and stressful

I cant get all this off my mind... And I learned that we both need closure on this we need to move on ice we can't keep doing this

We have to put aside everything and talk it out

Because that's the mature way of doing it

Not attacking me and not me hiding

We have to talk and move on

I want to finally put it behind us

And we can move on from one another

I'm scared all you'll respond with is mocking me but I'm gonna hope you understand what I want

I want to just talk

And afterwards agree that we dont well with eachother and go our seperate ways

I just wanna see you improve I have huge hope you can change and improve yourself from someone who thinks trying to witch hunt someone is the best way to respond I know you can, we're not perfect and ik I'm way better than who I was when I was your age when faked depression and hurt innocent kind people

So I have great hope you can improve yourself too

And learn moving on is the only way to a brighter path and life in general

We have to apologize to eachother

And move on

That's the only way out

And if you ignore this.. And mock me instead... Then that were your actions not mine... I can't be held accountable for what you no liek you're not for what I do or did.

I'm sorry for a long message but I'm tired of hiding and being in fear of you

I want to try and solve this

So please if you're willing...

Come talk to me... Because that's the only way we're gonna move on

cryptics

the person who never meant to hurt you and just wants this to end and for everyone to move on

Ik you'll either continue trying to mock me...

Or maybe like I hope will come to me putting aside everything that happened and just talking civilly because that's the mature way of solving this

I am tempted to hide from confronting you and running away

But I should know...

Running away... Doesn't make the problem go away

I'm only away from it

And I think I'm ready to stand up and talk

That's all

For you to leave me alone

For us to move on from it and eachother

We don't mix ice we don't at all

So I think it's better if we go our separate ways after this if you do decide to talk to me

This is the better way to solve this

I'll be anxiously waiting to see if you see this

I truly only want to stop all this

I'm tired of this I'm done hiding its time

To Charlie btw

I don't hate you either

But you did fuck up too

Don't take this as ne saying you're horrible ppl

I'm scared you'll assume that without another word

You must acknowledge you're mistakes like I'm acknowledging my own please...

I should end it herr now this post has gotten too lengthy

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profoundgardenertree-blog · 6 years ago

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I was driving my friends car and wrecked it. My insurance says that insurance covers the vehicle not the driver. Is this the opinion of all insurance companies?

Are Insure Pink a good car insurance company?

I have a Fiat 500c and am under 25, and got a quote for 1561 (this is including monthly fee interest) from an original annual price of 1370. This is pretty cheap compared to any others I have found and was wondering: 1. Do you find this a good quote? 2. Are Pink Insured good insurers? I was a bit worried because although I did the quote ON their website, when it gave me a quote it was through Advantage Insurance Company, so I'm a little confused. The quote does not include breakdown cover as I get that for free with the AA for 12 months.""

Are fire insurance mandatory in California(near Los angeles)?

If a house is all paid for, is fire insurance still mandatory? If your house catches on fire and gets completely burned down, when does fire insurance pay you? Also how does fire insurance determine how much to pay you?""

How much is an oldtimer insurance for a Rolls Royce Silver Shadow II ?

I would like to know how much per month an oldtimer insurance for a Rolls Royce Silver Shadow II or Spirit would cost about per month? I am 21 years old, self employed. Does someone know ?""

If i lease a car do I pay insurance?

I am thinking about leasing a car, do I have to pay insurance?""

Are Esurance insurance rates cheaper in Texas than New Jersey?

I just moved to Texas and would like to know if my rate will be cheaper monthly here. I have heard from people that it is supposed to be but have no definite proof. I also cannot find anything else online.

Antique Car Insurance Question?

I own a toyota Camry as my primary vechiale if i am buying a 1983 Dodge ram would that be considered an antique car? if it would is there anything special i would have to do with that car? and how much would i expect to pay per year on insurance? (Pennsylvannia)

How does Progressive compare your insurance rates with top companies?

How is that possible? I've applied for Progressive quotes before (and wasn't impressed at all), but how are they able to do that? Insurance companies all have complex formulas that are used to calculate rates using several factors, including driving history, location, credit, household drivers, vehicles, etc. Unless they have robots online that steal competitors' bandwidth and automatically fill out the forms, it doesn't seem possible. If that was the case, you would think other companies would block Progressive from abusing their servers. Any ideas?""

Can you get a discount on motorcycle insurance if is has an alarm system?

I just go a 2009 zx6r and I was wondering if ICBC gives you a discount if it has a full alarm system and immobilizer? I live in vancouver BC canada thanks

What would be the insurance on these cars?

What would be the insurance costs for a 16 year old girl for a Nissan Altima 2013 2.5 SV, a 2013 mustang v6 and 2013 honda crv EX? Or what are good websites to price it at?""

Mc Alisterville Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 17049

Average house insurance in Canada?

What is the average amount of money you pay in house insurance in Canada? It would be nice if you have a site link, because this is for a school project. Also, how much do ...show more""

Will my insurance rates go up if I get a speeding ticket in someone elses's car?

I was driving an insured vehicle which belongs to a nonlicensed driver., I received a speeding ticket in this car. Whose insurance will go up?""

How do i take out a car of my insurance?

So my brothers car got repo and i wanted to take to out of my insurance but the lady says i cant wtf

Whats a cheap affordable classic for a young man?

im 20 had my lisence for over two years but i can never afford insurance! i dont live with my mummy and daddy so i cant blag there insurance, and i also cant borrow money from them! so if you have ideaas for me i would prefer a TAX exempt classic? any ideas? thanks""

How can i get cheaper insurance?

im looking to buy a car soon. my parents both have vehicles and im a 18 yr old male with a g2 so my insurance on any car with be well over $3000 a year. i was just wondering if theres any loopholes/tricks to make insurance cheaper. i know my buddys dad opened up a business just to put a car under the business name so he wouldnt be charged as a primary driver.

Income Based Health Insurance in California?

I'm 18 years old and live at home with my dad/step mom. They don't have insurance through their employers, so neither do I and because their combined income is so high (6 figures) I'm not eligible for Medical or Medicaid. Any ideas on what I can do to get affordable health insurance? I have a job too...""

Car insurance websites and Brokers? What's your suggestion?

About to hit that time of the year where the dreaded Car insurance renewal occurs. Just wanting your opinions on what would your best websites, brokers, advice will be for insurance. Who? Where? Pricecomaprison websites? discuss and help me in the process : ) Many thanks Incidently im 23 and have a 1.6vetec Honda Civic""

Can I be added to a auto insurance policy?

Im shopping around for a car and insurance policy. The car would be brand new with only me as the owner. Because I have never had insurance under my name and am under 25, it is very expensive. I'd like to know if my dad, who has multiple vehicles, would be able to add me to his policy for my car that is not under his name. I'm not sure if that makes sense. Basically, I'd like to get his discount by having his name and mine on the insurance policy, although the car title is only in my name. Thanks for any help! (1 month I pay is the same as a 6 month payment for him. Lot of money)""

What makes car insurance cheap?

Car Insurance for a 16 year old in California?

I am gonna get either a Used 03-04 Nissan 350z and would like to get a rough estimate of how much insurance is gonna cost. Thanks in advance. Also what would happen to my insurance if the car is on a salvage title?

I am buying my first car and I want a 2005 scion tc how much would insurance be ?

I am 18 years old so I'll probably have my parents co sign if that will help me have lower insurance.

What's the average penalty for driving without insurance in England?

What sort of fine, and how many points?""

Is there any way of avoiding finance charges on monthly motor insurance ?

Like everyone, I'm strapped for cash and the other half's credit cards are maxxed out. In fact I'm so considered so bad for credit now even a loan shark wouldn't touch me with a bargepole despite having a job and being a discharged bankrupt - however my car insurance is due. Is there any way around the extra charges ? My renewal quote was 258 if payed in one lump, yet searching for monthly payments my cheapest payback is 366 over 12 months. Not that I'd ever accuse the banks of ripping us off. Any idea's ??""

Why is my car insurance the same price?

My car insurance is due up next month and I have been shopping around. I've used all the compare sites like go compare and money supermarket and I m basically the exact same price as I was last year. For the same car. I've been driving 8 years nd have 6 years no claims. I'm 25 and female. Every year it used to go down but now I'm being quotes the same and sometimes more?!

Small business insurance?

I'm thinking abouit starting up a small cleaning business and I'm wondering about how much it would run in Pa for libability insurance.

Insurance for low income disabled person?

I only make $7.14/hr at my job, got cut from my old insurance due to no longer being able to afford it, I have a learning disabilty and have no medical insurance to go to the doctors. What are some good affordable/free insurance for low income families?""

Anyone know any car insurance company's that can offer cheap car insurance for a 18 year old?

I am 18 and just bought a Nissan Altima 08. I live in California, Los Angeles. I am trying to get insured and they want to charge me $3000 a year. Thats $250 a month for car insurance. Its more then my car payments. Anyone know any insurance company that can offer a better deal?""

""I am from New Zealand, temporarily working in Canada for six months. How do I get car insurance to drive here""

I am from New Zealand, temporarily working in Canada for six months. How do I get car insurance to drive here""

What would be an estimate for auto insurance on a 16 year old male living in California?

I recently got my license and am looking at auto insurances. Can someone find me a quote (or at least give me an idea) for a 16 year old male living in California. The vehicle would be a 2WD 1985 Corvette. I also have a clean record if that helps at all. Thanks!

Where can I get comprehensive car insurance to cover in Serbia and Montenegro?

I am travelling from the Uk to Serbia and Montenegro in June 2007 and want to have my car covered for this trip. My car is registered in the UK but my insurance company will not cover me for this trip.

Is a jeep grand cherokee overland reliable w.cheap insurance for 16 yr old?

15 now looking to get one possibly is it good for me

What is a semiannual premium for car insurance?

My quote was: Semiannual premium: $1251 Do I pay $1251 twice a year?

Has the law changed with car insurance for additional drivers?

Today I was looking at car insurance quotes & it seems that it costs the same to be an additional driver on somebody Else's car as it is to be a main driver on your own car. I got a quote to be an additional driver on my mothers car she currently pays 850 per year on her car and to get me also insured on her car it will cost 4.700 a year. It will cost me 3,995 a year on my own 1.0l corsa (main driver). My mothers car is a VW polo 1.4. I think the reason for the law change is because of a lot of parents are fronting for their children to make it a lot cheaper which I believe is called fronting.""

Which is the best health care insurance plan & which is the best Indian company to get it?

I'm very particular about Hospital cash insurance.

Small business insurance ? what is the average cost?

I am looking a leasing a building that is currently a bed and breakfast cottage. I will do the same thing except not offering breakfast. Wanting to make a business decision but have been waiting for 2 days to be able to obtain a cost for small business insurance. Anyone have some idea on the cost?

Mc Alisterville Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 17049

How much does car insurance cost for a 18 year old?

I can get my license anytime now. North Carolina doesn't offer good student discount. I'm Asian, will be driving my dad's 2000 Ford Windstar with 70,000 miles. My dad says that adding me on to his Allstate account would cost 1100 every six months. That sounds a little exaggerated. Is there anywhere else where I can find cheaper insurance?""

Question about homeowner liability and earthquake insurance?

So, let's say the neighbor's swimming pool cracks open in an earthquake, and the water runs down the hill and floods my house. Let's say the pool owner has earthquake insurance. Would that insurance fix my flood damage? Let's say the pool owner has no earthquake insurance but I do. Would my insurance cover the act of God that broke somebody else's pool?""

Who has the cheapest motorcycle insurance for young people?

im looking for the who has the cheapest motorcycle insurance for young people

Insurance in the state of GEORGIA!!!!?

In GA can u get car insurance wit a suspended license.... if so where?

2010 Ford Fusion vs 2011 Hyundai Sonata?

I recently went in resolved to buy a 2011 Sonata at $26, 000 but then I saw at a Ford dealer that the Fusion was $16, 500 on sale from $19,000. I'm conflicted because paying $10,000 more for a Hyundai means I get more features like leather, seat heating, sun roof, more sleek sporty style, etc. But then I can't completely negate the fact that the Ford is so cheap. Which would you pick and why?""

Where can I get Affordable Life Insurance?

Insurance for my baby?

I am on my dad's insurance. When my baby is born will it also be included on my dad's insurance?

What states offer affordable health care?

On Sunday's Face the Nation , Sen. Mitch McConnell advocated the right to purchase health insurance across state lines, currently prohibited. That makes sense when health care is more affordable in states other than your own. So here's my question: In which state(s) is health care affordable?""

What country has the best and most affordable health care system in the world?

it cannot possibly be the united states. in the united states the only ones that can afford healthcare probably cannot actually afford it, their insurance covers it. take away ...show more""

Where can you read reviews on renter's insurance?

My mom just moved into this expensive high-rise building and considering the crazy amount of rent she's paying for it and all the stuff she's putting in it I think she needs insurance. How can you decide on which one to go with?

Graduating from college and need affordable health insurance. Suggestions Please?

I'm graduating from college in Chicago this year. My parents are kicking me off their insurance. Does anyone have any suggestions for affordable health insurance?

How much money does the average middle class family have left over after expenses and bills each payday?

I live in military housing so I don't pay rent, electric, gas, or trash. I only pay phone and cable and car payment/insurance. I take home about 1200.00 every two weeks. How much should I be able to save?...keeping in mind that I have three children (two of whom live with me)""

Is it any difference between Insurance agent and broker?

Does anyone know where to get affordable auto (liability) insurance for teenagers?

I am 19, & I live in Charlotte, NC & I have not been able to find car insurance for less than $800 for 6 months. I can afford to pay $600 (100 a month) but I have not been able to find an insurance company to give me such a quote. Do you know any? P.S. I drive a 2002 kia optima & I've only had my licence for a year""

Would a BMW Z3 be expensive for a teens insurance?

""What happens if you have health insurance through your job, then have to get new health insurance?""

If you have health insurance with your employer then quit, how can you get new health insurance with your new employer because aren't they going to see all your pre-existing history from your old insurance company?""

I need cheap car insurance in New York City?

I need cheap (FULL) coverage for a financed vehicle in the NEw York Area...I've tried the popular sites...any leads?

What gpa do i need for a deduction on car insurance?

I just purchased a 99 grand prix gtp (supercharged) 2 door. I know that my insurance payment will go down based on good grades. I've got a 2.973, is that close enough to 3.0? to get the deduction?""

Adding 18 year old non-owner to car insurance.?

I am now 18 years old but have not yet gotten my driver's license because of the rate increase before I turned 18. I have had my learner's permit for 3 years and have a perfect driving record (no tickets or accidents). I do not own a car right now. So, I need to know if A) I need to be added to my parent's policy in order to drive their car once I get my license, and B) if so, how much more will the insurance be? I live in Florida.""

How much would insurance be for sports car?

ill be 17 soon so im looking for a car and i loveeee this purple sports car but i heard it makes your insurance even higher... about how much do you think it would it be?

""What are some good, low cost family health insurance plans for...?""

My husband and I need health insurance. He is a full time student and I am full time worker. We cannot get decent health insurance through his school or my work. We are looking for a low deductable, 0% coinsurance, and we need something with great maternity coverage, since we're planning on starting a family soon. If you know of any great plans like this, please share! Thank you for your help!""

Will my car insurance cover this?

My car was parked in a parking spot at my apartment complex last night as it always is when I'm here, and this morning I go to my car and notice a decent size dent in my hood. It must have been done by some rowdy drunken fools last night. Will my insurance cover this?""

Getting insurance on a bike?

I plan on getting a motorcycle near the end of February. I have never bought a motor vehicle before, so I'm not really sure about how I go about getting insurance. I plan on getting something used from Craigslist (most likely 2008 or newer Ninja 250/300), then either having the owner ride it to my home before I pay, or taking it in a truck or something. What do I do after that? How do I insure the bike? I will probably get Progressive. Also is full coverage worth the extra money, or should I stick with liability? I'm 17 years old so it will be more expensive for me than for others. I live in California by the way. Thanks!""

Do I really need home owners insurance?

if a hurricane were to come into my area and cause a flood, wouldn't the flood insurance take care of it. What are some good home insurance companies in FL with minimal requirements. I made several calls but no one wants to insure me because I don't have heating or cooling.""

""If I get liability only insurance, and somebody else crashes into me, will I get my car repaired?""

My grandma recently gave me a 2005 civic as a gift. Its great but comprehensive insurance is $230 a month. Ive looked around and thats about as cheap as it gets (I am a teenage male that's why its so expensive, despite my flawless driving record). I have been considering getting liability only insurance for a month or 2 because I need to get more hours at work to be able to afford comprehensive. If I get into an accident thats not my fault will i be out of luck or will the at fault driver have to repair my car?""

Mc Alisterville Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 17049

Why are my insurance quotes so high?

I have tried searching for insurance on my moms car which is a Suzuki Swift GL 1.3 and I'm getting back quotes of 10,949.50 cheapest fully comprehensive and 6,404.20 Third Part, Fire and Theft. I passed my test january this year and I'm 18, I had temporary insurance on the car for a month in april and a week in june, the month in april cost 55 with Tesco and the week in june cost 70 with another company. I've also tried searching for insurance on other smaller engined cars like a citroen saxo 1.1i SX and got cheapest price coming back at 4,777.63 I live in Birmingham and have set it as the car being parked in the garage over night. Am I doing something wrong?""

Do parking tickets make your insurance go up?

i just got one last night for $40. guess i didn't have a permit to park on that street during those hours. i have state farm auto insurance. i'll pay it right away, but will it raise my insurance rate?""

Can I afford motorcycle insurance?

So here is my situation: I currently own a 2003 Toyota Matrix that I make payments on. In between the payments and the insurance and gas, it costs about $350 a month to have that car. For the last couple years I've been really interested in getting a motorcycle, specifically a newer Kawasaki. According to my research, I could find a Kawasaki Ninja 250cc for somewhere around $3000. My question is basically how much insurance do I need? Right now I have comprehensive coverage for my car so that if I'm in a wreck and it's totaled I can replace it. If I had a bike AND my car though, I don't want replacement coverage for a secondary vehicle (even one as cool as a motorcycle). I got quotes from Geico and State Farm that put my minimum amount of insurance a month in the neighborhood of around $30. Does this sound accurate to anyone? Also, can anyone just give me some sound advice about owning both vehicles and whether it's worth it?""

Need auto insurance info on transferring to another state?

My son just moved to IA from NY. He is using one of my cars, registered in MY name. I tried to transfer the insurance to HIS name, at his address in IA, but was told that its illegal to do so. I don't understand why I cant be the owner of a car in one state and have it insured in someone else name in another state. Is this true?""

Classic car insurance companies?

What heapens if I don't pay for car insurance?

I have a car, but actually I don't wanna pay for insurance any more. So what happens if I don't pay and drive without insurance?""

""Why the hell is motorcycle insurance SOO expensive in Ontario, Canada?""

I took identical information and filled out a progressive quote for both DETROIT and LOS ANGELES and both are 2356 FULL coverage (im 16 years old with zzr600), While when i got a quote from TD Bank they said 6000$ what the f u c k my damn bike doesnt even cost that much got damn it.""

What is the cheapest car insurance you can think of?

I make $900 - $1000 a month & Im moving out in a week. my rent is $300 & Im going to have to get new car insurance next month. I got quotes from thegeneral.com & esurance.com. The general was 119.00 a month & esurance was 204.00 do you know anything cheaper? I have an 08 honda accord coup. please help if you can!

Health Insurance Premiums?

Does any single person pay their own health insurance premiums - what company and how much do you pay ? Does it include doctor visits and hospital stay ?

Best health insurance for young married parents?

Me and my boyfriend are wanting to get married next year because he'll be graduating high school and it'll be the best time for us I'll still be a junior and we have a young daughter. We will be going to the same college once I graduate plus it has a daycare for our daughter which is great. Once we get married though I know I won't be a single mother anymore so I probably won't qualify for Wic or medicade. So I want to get an idea now for what the best health insurance is for our situation that would be the most affordable since we will be in college and we won't be making a whole lot of money. What is the best and most affordable health insurance for young married parents in college. Also has anyone else been in a similar situation and how did you make it work.

Car insurance for 16 year old?

How much does it cost a month for my 16 year old for car insurance in ct

What is a good car insurance company - value and a known company - not high risk?

I would like to switch car insurance companies - one because when I buy a third car and add it to my policy they charge me $5.00 for installment billing even though I pay in full - this leads to the second more serious complication which is that my husband works in the car business and on occasion decides to buy a new car b/c it is a good value and he like the car, then we sell the second car. We typically have the second car for 11-22 months. I mentioned to the insurance company that in the future I want to avoid this $5.00 fee since I always pay in full and I waving it this time wouldn't solve future issues b/c my husband is in the car business and we buy a third car to sell the second when he finds one he likes. THEN the cust svc guy goes on a rant - ARE YOU RESELLERS... blah blah blah and WE HAVE STRICT UNDERWRITING GUIDELINES blah blah blah etc. I tell him that holding onto a car for the time periods that we have would certainly indicate that we are not... and titling it""

Will My Car Insurance Go Up?

My wife scrapped the side of our SUV against the wall coming out of the garage. I would like to get it fixed through our insurance since the damage is more that $500 deductible. Do you think my insurance will go up if I make this insurance claim?

""Getting 2011 car, all insurance quotes are over $300 Can i put my mom down as primary driver if its in my name?

The reason why its so expensive is because im only 19. i know she has a safe driving record which will help me save so much money. I'll be lucky to have gotten this car but i wont be able to afford my payments if insurance is that high. So can i own the car without being the primary driver on insurance to help save costs?

Anyone know any good insurance?

Does anyone happen to know of any good insurance companies that may help pay for some of the initial tests for infertility?

What should I do when the at fault party has no car insurance?

I got into a minor car accident, it was the other party's fault but he doesn't have car insurance. Because it was a rental car, my own car insurance is not going to cover. ...show more""

Is it a good idea to get earthquake insurance?

I live in San Francisco, California and I wonder if it's worthwhile to buy earthquake insurance? DOes anyone has any experience what to consider, and why they made the decision they did?""

What is the best car insurance company for drivers over 50 age?

in Toronto

VERY EXPENSIVE CAR INSURANCE?

I can't understand this issue. I have been living in the uk since 2008. I used to pay 900 for the insurance, then it raised to 1200 and now they ask me for 2300 for the third year renewal. I never made a claim and I have a full UK license and an international license for 11 years. I am 29 years old and I am an educated with MSc in medical sciences and I never drink or smoke. Is it because I am a foreigner. My friend is a British and he only pay 490 and he just obtained his license and we live at the same building. I can't find an answer for this problem only that car insurance companies are racist toward foreigners.""

Should I go through insurance?

Hi, Recently, I parked my car at my apartment parking complex and someone had scraped my rear bumper. I'd like to get it fixed...but I'm not sure if I should go through my insurance or not. I have a 250 deductible for uninsured damage which I think applies here under my policy. Will the rates go up if I go through my insurance company for stuff like this? Because if so, I'll just shell it out of my own pocket. I'm not sure which way to go here. Thanks for helping me out.""

I am a 47 year old self employed male.Where can I find affordable health insurance.?

Cheapest car insurance for learner?

Best car for male 17 year old ?

What is the comparison between permanant life insurance and Roth IRA?

Advantages if any Disadvantages if any

Car insurance and finance question?

I bought my car on finance a month ago and had to have Fully Comprehensive insurance for it. It is very expensive - if I were to drop to third party F&F, would they find out? If they did what would happen?""

What will the insurance cost be for a 2008 Mustang GT?

Ok, my son is about to turn 16 and his mother and I want to suprise him with a new 2008 Mustang GT premium. http://www.fordvehicles.com/cars/mustang/models/index.asp?v=html# That is the page that shows the models of all mustangs and we chose the GT premium for him. The car will go in his mothers name, so how much do you think the insurance will be?""

Mc Alisterville Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 17049

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