#I’m half asleep so forgive this ramble

[pedrasacorn]

Jason knows how to read people extremely well, so he’s the type to clock your crush on him immediately, and then gaslight himself out of it—actually he doesn’t even let himself consciously acknowledge it

God also imagine how intense the eye contact would be when he catches you looking, when he finally acknowledges your feelings, and he holds your gaze because he knows—and you’re so beautiful—and you hold his gaze because you want to know—and he’s so beautiful

It’s difficult to get Jason’s undivided attention, because he mentally splits his focus everywhere, to make sure nothing can catch him off guard.

His intense focus on you means nothing—not even his safety or comfort—matters enough in this moment to deter him from looking at you

[yogrtshake]

coming home ( 7dream ) genre : fluff word count : 0.8k summary : how 7dream return home after a day away from you

—

( mark ) ⋆ practically melts into you once you spread your arms for a hug in the doorway, whispering how much he missed you into your hair (“i know i said it yesterday, but i’m serious, this time i’m not letting you go”) ⋆ after a quick meal, he settles in bed with you laying by his side and picks up the philosophy book he’s been reading that week ⋆ pokes you every so often to share an excerpt that sparked an idea in his mind, loving the way you comb your fingers through the ends of his hair as he rambles cutely ⋆ tired from his long day, his eyes start to flutter shut and you place his book on the nightstand for him, kissing his temple to wish him sweet dreams

( renjun ) ⋆ the sight of you after a long day always paints a special smile on his face: one that’s infused with adoration and longing, and it makes you melt every time ⋆ finds it precious that you wait until he’s home to unwind from your day with him, both preferring to help remove each other’s makeup and wash your faces side by side ⋆ lots of giggling is shared as he gently tries to lay a sheet mask over your skin and he plants a kiss on your lips once he’s done arranging the mask around your features ⋆ a completed skincare routine means it’s time to wind down together — this consists of soft music and catching up on your days apart, his sparkling, attentive eyes not leaving yours as he listens to every detail

( jeno ) ⋆ takes a bit longer to arrive home because he always stops to pick up takeout dinner for you to share, your favorite weekly tradition ⋆ finds you half asleep and softly hums a greeting, careful not to stir you while he settles back in, then wakes you gently so you can eat together ⋆ sits criss-cross on the floor with you, thoughtfully searching the table for the best looking bite and leaning over to feed it to you ⋆ relishes the comfortable silence between you, occasionally sharing tidbits about your days as you unwind together over your warm meal

( hyuck ) ⋆ kicks off his shoes and tosses his bag on the floor, dramatically explaining how today felt like an even longer day away from you than yesterday, despite his practices being the same length of time ⋆ before you know it, he’s swallowed you in an inescapable hug (“hyuck, i’m suffocating” “no no, we’re not done hugging yet”) ⋆ tells you a funny anecdote from practice, the sound of your laughter refilling his lungs that had exhausted throughout the day ⋆ soon enough grows sleepy and insists you lay down with him, pulling you closer every time he feels you shift until you doze off together

( jaemin ) ⋆ the second he walks in, he’s pressing kisses to your cheeks, your nose, your lips, your forehead — everywhere, over and over again, to make up for what he’d missed over the past several hours he was at work ⋆ pulls away only to grasp your hands in his and ask what you’ve eaten today, if you got your errands done, and what’s planned for the two of you tonight — it goes without saying the rest of your evening will be spent together ⋆ requests more kisses from you between every step of his nighttime routine, not bearing to spend another second without your touch he’s missed all day ⋆ after some quality time together, you notice he's drifted off to sleep with his arms draped around your waist, and when you kiss the top of his head, you can almost see a smile form on his lips

( chenle ) ⋆ almost as though he never left your presence, you received a lot of texts and random photos throughout the day while he was working ⋆ scolds you playfully for having missed answering one when he returns home (”but le, i replied to all of them at once—” “i wanted INDIVIDUAL REPLIES!”) ⋆ quickly forgives you, of course, pecking your cheek before changing into lounge clothes and making his way to your familiar spot on the couch to watch a drama with you ⋆ after a few minutes you feel that his shoulders are no longer tensed and his head rests on your shoulder, and you smile knowing he feels relaxed with you

( jisung ) ⋆ files into your bedroom after his long evening at the studio, appearing a bit more tired than usual, and immediately falls into your lap ⋆ you toy with his hair as you let him vent about the latest routine he’s given his all to, praising him for working hard and watching his eyes slowly start to brighten ⋆ he cherishes how you give him the space to talk about even the littlest details of his frustrations while comforting him with your touch ⋆ wordlessly insists you spend the remainder of the night in each other’s arms, him shyly dotting your hands with kisses to show his appreciation until his eyes close

[quokkie]

PLEASE hamzah x reader angst 🙏🙏 i’m not sure the plot line but i want some type of argument between hamzah and reader and then a cute little ending…?? 😄😄😄

anon, i like ur thinking! ask n u shall receive!

chat i’m sorry, it’s lowkey bad, i wrote this on the bus😞

insecure

cw : brief arguing, crying, hamzah being mean

in which, hamzah calls you insecure

hamzah says things he doesnt mean in the heat of the moment. even if you know that,it doesn’t just make his words hurt any less.

“why do you have to be so fucking insecure?”

he immediately forgets what you were even arguing about when he see tears forming in your eyes. he opens his mouth to say something,

nothing.

his words are ringing in your head as the tears start fall, you feel so….weak?“insecure?” your voice trembles, his heart breaks too. “yn, i’m…fuck, baby…i’m so sorry”. he walks closer to you and tries to reach for you but you move away.

“why do you always have to be so mean?” your voice breaks. he feels awful, there’s no way you’re forgiving him. he fucked up, bad.

you grab your keys and walk towards the door, slipping on your shoes, hamzah frantically follows you “no no no no please baby, please i’m sorry, don’t leave” you ignore his pleas and head out, leaving him in his own thoughts.

it’s been 2 hours since you left, it’s dark outside, and hamzahs worried. he’s called and texted you multiple times, no reply. as the clock hits half past 11, he starts feeling sick, worried about where you are and how it’s his fault you’re out so late. his thoughts drown him until he eventually starts tearing up—

click!

the door to your apartment opens and his head snaps towards the door. you’re back. hamzah rushes towards the door to see you. you look up at him, he starts frantically apologize “i’m so-fuck-so sorry baby, i didn’t mean what i said, i love you sososososososo much” he rambles while he squeezes you in a tight hug.

“hamzah?” you question, he looks at you, “it’s okay” you caress his cheek, he looks at you for a brief moment, sniffling “please forgive me” he begs. “it’s okay, hamzah, i forgive you” you giggle at him.

taking his hand towards your bedroom, and getting ready for bed, which included a lot of apology kisses from hamzah, you fall asleep in each others arms as hamzah vows to never ever say anything of the sort again.

[chososchalupa]

wish that it was me

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The last person you wanted to see at this meeting was your older brother. The same brother who left you in the hands of Chuuya Nakahara and the Port Mafia years ago, but all you can see now are the pleading eyes of Osamu Dazai begging for forgiveness.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Chapter four - Don't be mad

wc - 718

cw - self harm, suicide attempt,

i was half asleep and sick while writing this chapter,, also not proofread

chapter five

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

“Do you want to talk about it?” Chuuya asked as the two of you sat on his couch. 

You glanced over at him quickly before averting your eyes back to your hands as you played with the sleeve of your shirt, “Why does he act like everything is normal?” 

Chuuya sighed, “Hasn’t he tried explaining it to you?”

He has. Every time you’ve seen each other he's attempted to explain but you weren't interested in his stories. You just wanted an apology, for him to say he missed you, for him to act as if he cared even if it was just pretend. 

“He’s so much happier now, without me. He never even tried to reach out” You spoke, your eyes filling with tears. “He doesn’t even know, does he?”

Chuuyas eyes darted to your wrist as you played with your sleeve. “He knows. I told him.”

You looked up at him as he spoke, “When?”

“The day it happened”

You nodded, your mind flooding with memories from that night.

It was the night Chuuya came home after meeting with Dazai for the first time in years, his eyes looking brighter than usual. He rambled on and on about what Dazai was doing and how much better he looked. He tried explaining why Dazai left but you didn’t hear a thing. 

“Please stop” was all you managed to say before breaking down in tears. 

You could see the light dim in Chuuyas eyes as he wrapped his arms around you, 

“‘m sorry. Just thought you’d wanna know” he mumbled 

Sure, you’ve cried over your brother before, more times than you could count but this time was different. This time you knew for a fact that he was happier without you, living a completely different life without his little sister and that broke you even more. You had calmed down enough for Chuuya to head to bed, leaving you on the couch with your own thoughts. You sat in the dark for what felt like hours before slowly making your way to the bathroom. 

You sat down slowly on the toilet seat as you held a razorblade you had found in one of the drawers in your hand. You whispered an apology before sliding the blade over your wrist. You felt instant regret as you watched the blood flow down your arm, your mind becoming foggy as you screamed for Chuuya. The last thing you remembered was the door swinging open and a voice yelling for you to stay with him.

You woke up the next day in a hospital bed, Mori and Chuuya standing in the room.

“I’m sorry” You whispered, causing them both to look at you. 

“You lost a lot of blood but Chuuya brought you just in time” Mori spoke as he lifted your arm to inspect the stitches he had done. 

“He isn’t worth this, ya know? You can be happy without him” Chuuya said, watching as Mori looked over your wrist. “Don’t do that dumb shit again���

You smiled softly. Although it was unfortunate circumstances, this day caused you and Chuuya to become closer than ever. 

You were brought back to reality when Chuuya snapped his fingers in front of you,

“Huh?” You asked, looking up from your now faded scars.

“I said, you wanna get something to eat?” 

“Sorry, lost in thought. Sure, we can get something” You smiled

“There's a new Mexican restaurant I’ve been wanting to try. Apparently they have-” Chuuya was cut off by his phone ringing, “I have to take this” He spoke, standing up and walking to the kitchen

You sat quietly, listening as Chuuya whisper-yelled to whoever was on the other end of the phone. 

“You idiot, that is the worst fucking idea you’ve ever had”

 You rolled your eyes, now having an idea of who he was talking to, you decided the conversation wasn’t worth listening in on. 

You scrolled on your phone, only looking up when you heard footsteps approaching.

“Okay, don’t be mad but-” 

Your eyes narrowed as he spoke, “Chuuya, I swear to fucking god-” 

Just as Chuuya was about to respond, you heard a familiar knock at the door. 

You took a deep breath before looking from the door back to the man in front of you, 

“I hate you both”

taglist

@lacunaanonymoused @decaf-nosebleed

AO3

masterlist

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Forgive Me, I Am A Sinner  {1}* {Two-Shot}

Title: Forgive Me I Am a Sinner {1}* {Two Shot} 

Someone x Reader

Words: 2.9k

Warning: Play on the church confessional, Cursing, Adult themes, Mild crude language/discussion, Mild NSFW(Toward end), Mistaken Identity

Summary: You have some things to get off your chest and end up walking into a church.

Note: So, this might be mildly taboo for some, if it is for you, don’t read, I’ll understand. While I don’t think I took it too far in someone’s eyes it could be blasphemous. Again, don’t read if you feel it may offend you. Nothing lewd but be warned. Don’t come to me with your complaints. They will fall on deaf ears and be met with a quick delete. I don’t think it’s bad but 🤷🏽‍♀️

  ***NOT EDITED/Proofread***

-You-

“Forgive me lord for I have sinned. It's been...never since my last confession. I've never done this. Yep, I'm a virgin. Well with confessions otherwise I am soooo not a virgin. The things this body has done, these eyes have seen, these hands have touched, and this mouth has had in it...yikes. Not a virgin. Oh god, I probably shouldn't have said that in a church with a priest across from me. Shit. I probably shouldn't have cursed in the house of God either. Oh, fuck."

You facepalmed then sighed already fed up with yourself. You didn’t know what was wrong with you or why your mouth was still moving and allowing words to pass through. Yes, you were nervous and most of it were nervous ramblings you’d always done but now was not the time to be censor free.

 "I'm going to hell, aren't I?”

 Silence. There weren’t even breathing sounds. Either there was no one there or the guy across from her was weighing his options speaking to an actual heathen. You leaned a litter closer to the wooden screen peppered with small holes that was separating the two booths.

 "Uh...priest guy? Padre? Father? Oh, great even God's messenger sees the heathen in me and has run for the hills to tell the lord this sheep has steered far from the flock. Definitely going to hell."

 You hung your head in disappointment.

 "For all the scripture that has been written about the heavenly trio, the father, the son, and the holy spirit, I doubt they would be so quick as to damn one of their flock."

 You could hear the humor in his voice, and it made you pause. Were priests supposed to have a sense of humor? It did sound like a biblical joke so maybe that wasn’t weird.

 "I think you are being too harsh on yourself," the voice on the other side followed up.

 "You do?"

 "Yes. Also, heathen in quite harsh."

 You giggled nervously. However, those nerves were dwindling with every joke he cracked. There was something soothing about his husky voice that sounded like he was half asleep and just awakened from a quick nap.  "That is what I feel like whenever I muster up the courage to speak to him about this."

 "Start from the beginning."

 "Are you sure it's okay for me to be telling you all this in a church nonetheless?"

 Silence. Was he actually thinking if it was okay? You circled your thumbs and waited for him to speak but when he didn’t you leaned closer again.

 "Hello?"

 “You came here because you needed help. You came here looking for answers and acceptance. You will find all 3 here. So, let's begin again. Trust me I've heard it all."

 You sighed relieved by his welcoming words. You then nodded and mustered even more courage. "Okay. Forgive me lord for I have sinned I've never confessed before.

 "What is your sin?"

 "Lust."

 The silence stretched for so long then the person on the other side of the screen cleared their throat.

 "Lust. Go on. How are you lustful?"

 His voice was even deeper than before.

 "I like sex--like I really, really like sex. I know the bible leans more on sex for procreation and marital health, but I am not married, and I have no plans for children. So, for me, sex is something that feels good, better than good, amazing especially if it is done right and the person I am with understands a woman's body and needs."

 The silence returned but only for a few moments. "Ehm, I'm listening."

 "Lately I've been feeling unfulfilled."

 "Sexually?"

 "Yes, mainly. I have a great career, amazing friends, wonderful family, and a life I love but when it comes to sex it's just not cutting it. The guy I've been seeing..."

 "Boyfriend?"

 He sounded disappointed and that made you pause. Why would he sound disappointed? You explained it away deciding that he was disappointed in it not being a husband or fiancé.

 "You mentioned you were not married just trying to get a better understanding," he clarified.

 "Oh. Not really. We see each other whenever we have an--itch."

 "For sex. Understood."

 "You sound very chill about this father."

 "I am simply here to listen and never to judge--my child. This is the house of the lord, and all are welcome to be who they are and lay down their burdens. That is the lord I represent."

 He sounded like the cool youth pastor that was written about in some YA novels. The one who would create raps for G.O.D. You stifled a laugh at the thought.

 "Wow, that's really cool. Anyway, he's very...vanilla. Whenever we meet--. Wait should I explain what vanilla is? Um...well."

 "No need," he quickly interrupted.

 "Really?"

 "Uh...I am what I am now, but I was not born a priest."

 His unexpected answer had you snort loudly before a laugh escaped you. "Well go on then fuck it up, father. Damn no, I didn't mean that."

 He heartily chuckled. "It's alright. Go on"

 "He's vanilla and never really knows what I need and rarely ever do I cum. I mean reach completion."

 "Then why are you wasting your time with someone like that?"

 "Uh...well...ummm...I am very picky with who I spend my time with. When I said that I like sex, it didn't mean I was some chick who sleeps around with anybody with the right body part."

 "Of course not. I didn't mean to imply that. I'm sorry."

 "No, it's cool."

 "For the record, I didn't think that of you anyway."

 "Okay. Thanks. It's just most guys are insensitive assholes who think if a woman likes sex and pleasure then they must be easy and DTF anyone."

 "Guys like that are the ones who should be offed and sent straight to hell."

 "Preach it, father.”

 It took some time for his words to make full impact, but after a few moments, they did. “Wait shouldn't you say they are also God's children and just need to be steered to the righteous path?"

 "You sound well versed in the priesthood."

 "Movies."

 He laughed again and it sounded so welcoming that you laughed with him.

 "Please continue. He doesn't satisfy you."

 "No. I thought I could handle it and finish myself off or something but tonight I couldn't."

 "Did you just have sex tonight?"

 "Yes. I guess that's another sin you have to forgive me for."

 "And you are unfulfilled."

 "Yes. So unfulfilled. My bullet couldn't even take care of this, not even my rabbit, hell not even the usual porn I watch."

 The silence across the way was deafening and you noticed. It was like you’d become hypersensitive to quietness since sitting in this booth. Suddenly he groaned as if in pain.

 "Are you okay father?"

 He groaned again then took a few breaths. Through the tiny holes in the screen, you could only make out a head turned down, everything else was shadows. "Completely.”

 It came out hoarse, strangled. “Ehm...continue.”

 "Uh, so I facetimed him and decided to tell him what I need and even some things I would be into, and he laughed and had the most freaked out look on his face. He said it wasn't normal and I shouldn't tell anyone about it again. Like he made me feel crazy and so--dirty."

 "Uh-huh. For better context. What are these preferences--my child?"

 You twiddled your thumbs then uncrossed your ankles only to cross them again. "I don't know if I should say them now. You might say the same thing."

 "No. I would never. Remember I said my place is not to judge and I am here to help?"

 You took a deep breath and tried to calm those nerves that were beginning to creep up again. After another breath you began.

 "I um...I told him I want to be tied up while he takes all control and completely ruins me. I told him I wanted to try doing it while others watched that him being so gentle is a turn-off and I wouldn't mind some teeth or nail marks on me. I can see myself being into BDSM and get turned on by dominance and submission. I want to be choked a little while he slams so hard into me that I see stars. I want to be weak in the knees unable to walk, sore throat can't talk, eyes full of tears, chin covered in slobber, delirious with pleasure until I squirt and then pass out to do it again. I want him to know my body and what it needs better than I do. I want dirty, nasty, rough, hot passionate sex I'll never forget."

 The silence this time was so heavy so filled with the charge of excitement and arousal. You didn't know why you were slightly turned on finally getting it all out, especially to a priest in a church of all places. Hell, you didn't even know why you had come in here in the first place. The idea of confessional had always creeped you out for some reason. Telling a stranger your secret sin. It felt so vulnerable.

 "Shit. Surely I should burst into flames for all that right? First in line on the locomotive to hell? I shouldn't have said all that."

 "Are you ashamed of these desires? Do you wish to be rid of them?"

 "He made me feel ashamed."

 "Fuck him. Are you ashamed?"

 "Father?"

 "Answer me.”

 His voice was serious, and authoritative now. “Look inside yourself and answer truthfully."

 You did as he said and took some time and truly listened to yourself and everything that was going off inside you right now. Among everything, the uncertainty, the excitement, and the confusion nowhere inside of her did you feel ashamed. Not at all.

 "No. I'm not ashamed."

 "Do you wish to be rid of them?"

 "No," you replied with a little more confidence.

 "Good. You should be unapologetically you. You should not allow others to make you feel small or shameful for who you are, what you want, or what you deserve. You deserve all of that. You deserve to be sexually fulfilled and happy in all avenues of your life. We all only have one to live and restricting ourselves from true happiness is not doing service to someone, it does a disservice to ourselves."

 You sat there thinking over his words and gained confidence from each of them. He sounded as if he spoke from experience.

 "Is this your first day as a priest? I don't think you should tell parishioners to sin more to live a fulfilled life if you truly want to gain access to heaven."

 He snorted. "It is my first day doing this, but I stand by my words."

 You sat there noting your nerves had melted away and your confused state had turned to one of mellowness. You didn’t feel in a war with yourself anymore. Perhaps this was why others did this.

 "Do you feel better?"

 "Yes."

 "Good, then my work is done."

 "Wait shouldn't you give me instructions to repent like a Hail Mary or ten or something?"

 "Will it ensure you do not sin again?"

 Snorting, you replied, "Probably not."

 "Then you are free to step out of here and live your life with one piece of advice."

 "What's that?"

 "Drop that pathetic loser you're seeing. You can do so much better little lamb."

 The doors on the other side opened but you didn't register it until nearly a minute had passed. When you stepped out and looked in the opposite booth from sheer curiosity, it was empty with no priest inside.

 "Little lamb? What kind of priest was that?"

  ~~~~~~~

 -Him-

4 hours later and he was still solid as a brick hard.

 "Fuck!”

 He palmed himself yet again then squeezed hoping to relieve some of the ache there but no luck and no relief. He shoved his hand under his head and stared up through the glass roof of his skylight at the night sky. It was clear without a cloud in sight allowing the stars to really shine.

 "I want to be choked a little while he slams so hard into me that I see stars."

 His cock throbbed so forcefully it could be seen through his now too tight pajama bottoms. Glancing down, he groaned exasperatedly.

 "Come on. It’s not funny anymore."

 He knew he shouldn’t have gone into that confessional. He knew he should have found somewhere else to wait for his manager as he spoke with the priest of the church he was donating a large amount of money to because of his connection to some of the kids he'd encountered the weekend before.

 He'd gone at that time because he was sure it would be empty and there would be no stray photos of him leaked. Donating money was no fun when everyone knew you'd done it. He liked the incognito life. He just wanted somewhere that had zero chance of him bumping into someone. No way did he expect someone to drop into the other side of the confessional and no way did he expect that someone to have that kind of confession.

 He closed his eyes as he recalled the little slivers of her face. Plum painted lips that looked full, a cute nose, skin that looked incredibly soft, and eyes that called to him. From the small perforations in the wood, he would classify you as a fucking goddess.

 Once you began your confession he should have interrupted and set the record straight but there was something about your voice that held him in place, silencing him. He’d picked up the distress in it, the frustration and uncertainty. Then the more he listened he fell under some spell. When she mentioned her definite non virgin status, he was way past curious. Maybe that’s what possessed him to answer her when she asked if he was there.

 "Curiosity," he muttered mulling over it.

 He thought over your entire confession and within seconds his cock throbbed again. Without even realizing it his hand had drifted into his pajama bottoms and was now wrapped around his engorged length.

 "Fuck!"

 "I want to be tied up while he takes all control and completely ruins me. I wanted to try doing it while others watched, that him being so gentle is a turn-off and I wouldn't mind some teeth or nail marks on me. I can see myself being into BDSM and get turned on by dominance and submission. I want to be choked a little while he slams so hard into me that I see stars. I want to be weak in the knees unable to walk, sore throat can't talk, eyes full of tears, chin covered in slobber, delirious with pleasure until I squirt and then pass out to do it again. I want him to know my body and what it needs better than I do. I want dirty, nasty, rough, hot passionate sex I'll never forget."

 "Uggh. Uggh. Uggh. Fuuuuuck."

 His hand moved so fast he was sure it was going faster than the speed of light. It had to have been. His groans, moans and grunts filled the space as he raced toward a finish he imagined would go across her beautiful face or her breasts he couldn’t see but was convinced were equally as gorgeous as her aura. Within seconds, his back angled off the bed as if whatever had possessed him earlier was finally exiting his body and being pulled into the air.

 "Holy fuck!”

 The white spots that decorated his vision made it impossible to see anything and in that moment he didn’t care. He was only focused on the amazing feelings coursing through him. When he finally regained some motion and sense he glanced down and found stream after stream of his release decorating his chest, pelvis, and pajama bottoms.

 "Ah shit. Come on! Haven't had to jerk myself off since I was twenty fucking years old, and one confessional tipped me over the edge? Unfuckinbelievable!”

 Not in a rush to get up and filled with frustration, he looked back to his skylight at the glittering stars and thought of the side profile of her face. Within seconds, he felt himself harden again and it was then he knew his cock was not done. He was in for a long night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[lansolot]

lansolot my theater and classical literature enjoying blogger on my dash DO YOU have any favorite monologues from shows or books or anything else that you would like to share about

thank you so much for this ask! this’ll be quite the messy post, so do forgive me for that. however, i will make an attempt to organize it! also, i do apologize for any grammar or spelling errors i make. i’m half asleep at the moment

— 1

i could go on for hours about this play as it’s such a favorite of mine. i’ve already gone on a long tangent about horatio and hamlet in the past, so i’ll at least try to make this little ramble hamlet centered. despite how often i see people complain about how hamlet isn’t a good play and that shakespeare is too difficult to understand, i think that people should at least try to understand his works. especially hamlet, as i personally think that it’s an incredibly influential play of his. even though hamlet’s classic “to be, or not to be” soliloquy is quite popular, it’s incredible that it’s so popular and commonly studied by so many people. words love to fail me, but what i’m trying to say is that there’s something beautiful about literature written so long ago being so widely adored, related to, and studied by people today. it’s so fun seeing others relate to characters like hamlet and get all giddy when reading said books and realizing that hey, this character written about over 100 years ago is quite similar to me!

— 2

the amount of symbolism in the picture of dorian gray makes me insane. the amount of nature symbolism? the fact that basil is what oscar sees himself as, henry is what the world sees him as, and dorian is what oscar wishes that he could be in a different era? i could go on about this for hours if my words weren’t failing me

— 3

listen. i do not play about religious themes and, as you all know, symbolism, metaphors, etc. i don’t know many people that care about this book, but i’ll be rambling about it anyways. the death of ivan ilyich is FULL of symbolism. first off, whist. in the death of ivan ilyich, various characters play whist in order to escape from matters they deem as bothersome or dull. ivan ilyich plays whist to forget about the pain he’s in, pyotr ivanovich flees ivan’s home quickly to play whist and distract himself from the solemn atmosphere of ivan’s funeral. characters play whist in order to distract themselves from suffering, death, and monotony. it’s, as i see it, a representation of the more “trivial” activities that ivan and those around him participate in to flee from a life that’s lacking of enjoyment and liveliness. also, ivan being compared to a phoenix? a creature that shines brilliantly, returns to ash, then returns back to life? the fact that ivan lived his “golden days”, fell ill, and in the end, passed away and saw light instead of dark? god, this book makes me ILL. don’t even get me started on the fact that the chapters grow shorter as ivan dies to show himself slowly nearing his demise. and the fact that the number 3, a number heavily used in the bible, is so commonly used in the death of ivan ilyich, but especially during the last chapter? the fact that biblically it can represent a new life and resurrection… and the way that ivan ilyich resorts to god in his final days… and also, the fact that the saying “it is finished” is referenced in the books ending… someone please stop me from rambling too much. none of this makes sense bc i’m so tired but that’s ok

[izekoi]

Hi! I'm mostly just here to say hi and welcome back and hope you're taking care!! 👉👈 below is a request but you don't have to do it unless you're inspired haha, it's more like an invitation to ramble 👍

May I request headcanons of your favourite character/s from twst? Maybe with the theme of "things that make you/them fall in love" 🤔

What makes them fall in love

Feat. Sebek Zigvolt, Malleus Draconia, Ace Trappola

a/n: Omg hiiii, I’m sorry I wasn’t very attentive in my other account 😭 I lost my will to exist lol. Ruggie is actually also one of my favorites simply bc I like uh.. furries..(?) yeah. But I found him really difficult to write for this so.. I didn’t include him ><

PLEASE NOTE that this is highly subjective, it contains many specific personality traits that might not fit for everyone and there are many other alternatives to answer this, this is mine.

— Sebek Zigvolt

It’s the most unexpected things. Your bedhead in the morning, the messy folds of your clothes or how you always arrive at class right as the bell rings, barely having enough time to breath after having to run through the hallway.

How can someone be so improper? Or so he thinks. This is inappropriate, yet somehow he’s always the one running to scold you, all while fixing your messy tie. Sometimes stopping by your room to roll you out of bed in the morning. He’s determined to put your disheveled acts to rest.

You weren’t even that improper. It’s just he either has high standards or uses it as a reason to approach you (which he will never admit)

You quickly became part of his daily routine for whatever reason. It’s the habit, the way he’s grown so acustomed —and attached— to your antics.

He can NEVER forgive himself for thinking you were cute when you were half asleep in class. What was he thinking? Since then he’s been a LOT more nervous around you.

It’s the way you always seems to quietly listen to his rambles about his great lord —maybe you were just uninterested but he was too into the role to notice—, and the way you make him feel like he’s needed, it fuels his pride. Who’s going to help you get yourself together if not him? Or so he thinks

— Malleus Draconia

It’s the way you treat him as an equal, not as the most powerful mage or as Diasomnia’s scary leader, just as Malleus, just as himself.

It’s the innocence that radiates from you when you ask the simplest questions. ‘What’s your favorite food?’ ‘Don’t you miss your home?’ The questions asked without a hidden intent, just simply because you want to know about him.

He’s always surprised and delighted everytime you seem to remember the smallest details about him. People don’t usually remember him, heck they always forget to invite him to meetings. Perhaps he shouldn’t be saying it being the most powerful and all, but he feels cherished.

He finds it very peculiar how you gently hold his hand or patiently guide him through these other wordly gadgets he’s unfamiliar with. He’s quick to grow attached to whatever you show him though.

When Malleus is in love he finds every little thing about you amusing. He’d like to take part in your hobies and interests, and in return will take you to look at his favorite garygoles.

— Ace Trappola

It’s the way you’re so ready —maybe not so— to dive into trouble with him. The way you’d brush him off, often calling out the stupid things he does yet you’re always the first one to run to him when he’s in trouble.

You’re always the first to point and call out at his and Deuce’s seemingly often stupid plans, yet the next second you were sneaking through the garden with them in the middle of the night, muttering about how they’re going to be the death of you.

It’s the little, gradual things, the time you spend cleaning the class after study hours, the board games you play together during breaks. He always has a reason to seek you out whether it’s help with his homework or the new game he wanted to show you.

It’s how you seem so smart mouthed but always fall for his little jokes. How he’d laugh after seeing your flustered pout and how he can’t seem to find you scary even when you’re angry.

It’s the feeling of having a partner in crime, how you seem to always get dragged to whatever situation he causes to arise. How you’d always have his back through thick and thin, even when you curse at him for being a trouble magnet.

[radiant-reid]

Touched starved

It was no secret this case had been extra hard on Spencer. Even Y/n, the newest member of the team, knew some bad things happened when he was kidnapped by Tobias Hankel. Most of the details were covered up though.

Spencer didn’t talk about it much. Only a few words when he felt strong enough. With having only been at the BAU for two years Y/n knew the least of what happened. 

Then again, she was a profiler. She could tell this case was having a more-than-usual bad effect on Spencer. 

It was because of the parallels, she figured. This unsub had been kidnapping and torturing victims. Having to solve it and, more importantly, knowing there was someone out there just like him, was hard on Spencer. 

His brain almost didn’t work as it ran constant flashbacks of what Hankel did to him. Like a horror movie with no ending. 

Everyone noticed, not just Y/n.

She just didn’t understand why they wouldn’t help him. They were all far closer to him than Y/n was. Prentiss, Morgan and JJ didn’t seem to be doing anything to help him but Y/n just felt like she couldn’t let him suffer in silence. She knew Garcia had tried to ask him how he was on the phone but there was only so much she could do from so far away. It wasn’t any of the team's fault though, they knew how Spencer operated.

That was how she found herself outside his hotel room on the 3rd night of the case. After seeing his condition slowly deteriorate throughout the hours they’d been on the case, she couldn’t just sit by. So dressed in a hoodie and sweatpants, she knocked on his door. 

“Y/n... what are you doing here?” Spencer asked as he opened the door to see who it was. It was very obvious that in the 4 hours since Hotch had sent them to get some rest, Spencer had not slept a second. 

“I...” Y/n didn’t actually know how to answer his question. Instead, she just walked into his hotel room which caused him a lot of confusion. The puzzled look on his face didn’t stop. “I’m here for you, Spence.” She told him as she sat on his bed. 

“Obviously, you’re in my room but I don’t understand why.” He replied. His brows were furrowed and his arms crossed across his chest. At least he’d changed into a hoodie and pants. Y/n didn’t think she’d ever seen him in a hoodie. 

“Come here.” She instructed and he obliged, walking over to her so he was at the foot of the bed. “I’m here so you can have someone to talk to. Or not to talk to.” She explained. He still, very obviously, didn’t understand. “You haven’t stopped working on this case for almost 72 hours straight, that’s unhealthy. Now, you’re going to relax and just stop thinking about it.” 

Spencer huffed out a sigh. “I can’t just stop thinking about it.”

“Why?” 

“There’s someone out there who can’t stop thinking about it. He’s scared, terrified. And he’s just hoping that we can save him. But everything is telling him that there’s no one left. That they’re going to get there and be left with just his body.” Spencer hunched over as he talked, feeling as small as he looked. Tears were forming in his eyes and he was desperately fighting them. “I can’t stop working on this because we need to find out where he is. I can’t stop working on this because he can’t stop thinking about it. He’s living through the torture but he’s going to give up and want to give in to death.”

“What happened, Spencer?” Y/n softly asked as the tears started spilling down his cheeks. 

He just stood there blankly. “I can’t.” He sobbed out. 

Y/n knew about his aversion to hugs but she pulled him in for one, wrapping her arms around his slender waist. To her surprise, he leant into the embrace. 

They stayed like that for a while before she pulled back, picking up his hand. She moved back so she was sitting against the headboard and pulled Spencer over, patting her lap. He didn’t even give a second thought to lay his head on her lap. His brain could almost stop spinning as he laid there. 

Y/n moved her hand to his hair, threading it through her fingers. It was remarkably soft and fluffy. 

“What happened to you, Spence?” She asked him again. 

With tears still streaming out his eyes he could answer. “It hurt so much, Y/n. He wouldn’t stop it, no matter how much I begged. I was so helpless there.” He choked out, in a broken sentence due to his heavy breathing. 

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m right here.” Y/n comforted again. She tested out the boundaries by running her hand over his cheek and when he leant into her hand she continued to brush the tears off his cheek. “Let it all out.”

“I couldn’t do anything!” Spencer cried. It was the most painful sound she’d ever heard. Someone so composed and always perfect falling apart. He was broken. “I just sat there while he beat me. I can still feel it. When I close my eyes sometimes I see him. It’s so stupid because I know, scientifically, I’m experiencing PTSD but sometimes I feel all the walls coming down on me.”

Y/n’s heart broke for him. “Spencer, it’s not stupid.” He cried even harder at that. 

“I just need to crack the case and save him, Y/n. I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t.”

Y/n moved her hand to rub his back. “I know you feel that way.” She didn’t really know what to say to comfort him. He was so often the one helping everyone else out. 

“I feel so silly for still being scared too.” He mentioned. 

“Oh, Spence, it’s okay. Hankel is dead and you’re safe now.” She soothed him, still rubbing circles in his back.

He was still bawling his eyes out, feeling unbearable sadness. “I know that. But I still see him and I can still remember every second of it.”

“You didn’t deserve any of that.” She told him firmly. “He was sick, I know you know that. You went through the worst things imaginable and you’re so strong.”

He lightly nodded. “Will it get better?”

“Yes, if you keep talking about it. To anyone. JJ?” Y/n suggested. 

“I like talking to you.” He mentioned it, quieter than before. Y/n could finally smile at that. Despite everything, Spencer was still so kind. 

“Good.” She told him as she moved her hand back to his hair. “I could see it was getting to you. With all the similarities in him drugging and abusing his victims. I can’t imagine what you went through but I’m so proud of you.” She continued, meaning every word she told him. 

The tears had stopped coming so fast now. They were still constant but a weaker flow. “I just felt so helpless when I was there.”

Y/n almost chuckled at that. “Spencer, from what I’ve heard you were the one who told the team how to find you. I think you were so brave and I know they’re all so proud of you.” She told him. 

“Thank you.” He murmured as he moved his head in her lap. She continued to comb through his hair. 

They stayed in the exact position for a while. Until, eventually, the tears stopped. 

Spencer then sat up. His cheeks were flushed red as he made eye contact with Y/n. “I’m sorry I completely freaked out.” He nervously rambled out an apology. 

Y/n couldn’t have shaken her head faster. “Spencer Reid, you don’t have to be sorry for anything. Everyone needs someone to talk to.”

“I’ve got to save him, Y/n,” Spencer told her as he moved to get up off the bed, no doubt to go to his makeshift workspace. 

Instead, Y/n tugged on his arm, not letting him move. “I know you’ve got to, Spence. But you can’t do that if you haven’t slept or relaxed in days.” She informed him. He was smart enough, and he had read at least 300 articles on the importance of sleep, to not argue with her. 

“Okay, I’ll sleep. Thanks for coming to see me.” He told her, trying to get her out of the room. 

Y/n noticed. “I don’t think so. You’re stuck with me for the night, buddy.” She told him as she pattered her lap again. 

He looked like he was thinking about putting his head on it but he stopped. “Then you won’t sleep.” He realised.

“Okay then,” Y/n said as she pulled the covers of his bed up and got in. “I hope you’re okay with cuddling.” She was a little worried he wouldn’t be into it, just because of his germaphobic nature. But her worries subsided when he got in next to her and quickly put his head on her chest, 

Y/n moved so she was lying flat on her back with her head on a pillow. Spencer put his own head on her chest and wrapped his arms around her waist like a baby koala would its mother. 

She moved her arm so she could wrap it around Spencer’s torso and pull him closed but he stopped her. “Can you, uh... could you do it to my, um, hair?” He nervously asked. 

Happy to oblige, Y/n moved her hand to his hair and started to run her fingers through it. “If you just want to lie here it’s fine but we can talk too.” She offered him, still unsure of what he needed. Spencer was so used to closing up that he decided to go against what his brain was telling him. 

“My parents,’ He started, “When I was little we didn’t really do touching... no one’s ever hugged me like this.” The thought of a little kid Spencer not getting hugged broke Y/n’s heart again. 

“Is this okay?” She asked, cautious of where his boundaries might lie. 

“Yes.” He hurriedly answered, not wanting her to stop for a second. “I like it. I just didn’t get hugs as a kid from anyone. And as I grew up I learnt more about germs and figured that’s why my parents repealed me.” He spoke slowly and softly like he was half asleep. Maybe he was. “But I like this. It makes me feel better.” He figured. 

“That’s good.” Y/n hummed. “I’m always here for you if you want to talk or just cuddle.” She told him. 

The smile she could feel against her chest warmed her heart. “I’d like that and please don’t stop stroking my hair.” 

She smiled at that. “I won’t.” She meant it as she leant down to place a kiss on his forehead.

[wizkiddx]

i just had the cutest idea at least in my head and would LOVE if u could do a blurb? where tom is trying to measure your ring size to propose while your asleep, but then you wake up and catch him.

this is v v cute! I hope this is what u want, sorry if it didn't translate I found it a bit tricky aha

summary: tom gets caught preparing for a very big moment

warnings: v small reference to smut

//////////////////////////////

Sleep always had been, and always will be, an important thing in your life. Naturally then, any source of interruption, was met with some….some hostility. Maybe it was your annoying flatmates as a student, who insisted on playing the worst drum and bass till 4 am every night; maybe your neighbours car alarm, which seemed to be set off by the lightest gust of wind; or maybe your loving- if slightly infuriating -boyfriend.

Tom had just got back from a trip abroad and you’d had a quiet evening in- consisting of pizza, a long forgotten film playing and lots and lots of laughs. As much as you loved his family and friends, celebrating with a fancy dinner and lots of drink - there was nothing better than a night in. It was what you’d both desperately needed too, just actual quality time with the both of you living in the moment, forgetting everything else outside the four walls of your flat.

Needless to say, you’d ended up right between the sheets and you honestly couldn’t remember falling asleep. But now, barely conscious, you did notice your fingers being moved and fiddled with. With a groan you limply pulled them away, rolling over to chase Tom’s body heat - which seemed to have disappeared. His presence hadn’t though, you could tell even with your eyes shut due to his little coo.

“Shh darling…. go back to sleep.” And with a mumbled incomprehensible response, you tried to - even if you personal heater appeared to be in hiding.

Yet then, barely 30 seconds later, the bed dipped weirdly again; Tom’s grasp lightly tugged at the arm you’d crossed over your body. Fighting against it, you snatched your arm away and groaned incoherently once again. Again you got a the most whispered and soft sounding reply from Tom. “Shhh Y/n/n…. come on, work with me here.” Clearly you were half asleep, not really paying any attention to to his words, so huffed - shifting again so you we lying half on your back, half on your side, your left hand lying on the pillow next to your head.

And yet again, barely a minute later, you were sure you heard him chuckle before the bed wobbled as he crawled up it. You could feel his shin brushing against your side as he once again went to grab your hand. And that- that was the last straw.

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

The sight you were greeted with was not one you expected. Tom kneeling next to you, with bed hair and all, looking like a deer caught in headlights - literally too, the flashlight from his phone illuminated the otherwise pitch black room. His eyes bugged out his head, while he frantically fumbled with his phone in an attempt to get the light off.

“Nonononono” Muttering as if you weren’t there, Tom obviously struggled to find the right button to shut it off - giving you amply opportunity to notice the other object in his lap.

A yellow tape measure?

Why the hell he was measuring you while you slept, completely unawares, was beyond you. The boy hand some explaining to do - primarily because… he interrupted your sleep.

“Tom what the fuck?”

“I’m so sorry I-I just….just go back to sleep love.” It was weird, how he seemed defeated? He looked upset, and was doing that thing where he nervously ran his fingers through his brown curls.

“Not until you tell me what the hell you’re doing.” Sticking firmly, you reached over to flick the bedside light on, just as he finally got the torch off. The warm golden light illuminated to whole room, allowing you to more clearly assess the situation. The brunette was sat so he were almost leaning over you, with the tape measure but also you now noticed a little notebook and pen sat to the side. His despairing look had you immediately forgiving the interruption to your night- everything, melting away to concern. “What’s going on T?”

“You um-you weren’t supposed to-fuck! I’m sorry love I just-“ Reacting to his embarrassed ramblings, you sat up properly to cup his his cheeks with both your hands.

“Hey take a breath yeah? Then tell me why you’re being all creepy and sizing me up for a coffin or something?” He laughed breathily at that, but it was a smile that didn’t meet his eyes.

“I wasn’t- I… can we just forget this happened?” He already started to get off the bed, wrapping the tape up in a very hurried manner. With a scowl you shook your head, leaping up to grab the yellow ribbon out his hands before he could fight back.

At that point it was too late for Tom. You saw the way the tape was labelled, not with cms or inches. Instead it was letters of the alphabet, starting at G and ending at Z. You would’ve been confused, except the fact you’d used this weird scale before, when you and your best friend got matching promise rings the other month.

Tom had been trying to measure your ring size.

You couldn’t help but let out a little ‘oh’ as it clicked - making Tom sigh heavily, still looking at you with worried and terrified eyes. It took a minute for you to face him, smiling weakly with a little gleam growing across your eyes.

“We should- we should uh, let’s go back to bed yeh?” Stammering through, you already almost forced the the tape back into his hands. Wordlessly he nodded jerkily and placed both the notebook, the tape and his phone on the bedside - as you flicked the lamp off.

Obviously, it was awkward as hell. Right now Tom knew you knew - he was less convinced though on how you reacted. Now he was doubting whether you wanted that- if you wanted to be his wife. The silence was defeneing, the bedsheets the only noise to interrupt as you both settled back onto the pillows. Tom left a bit on no-mans land in the middle, not wanting to push it.

Really there was no reason to not move and cuddle up to him, even slightly cruel. You knew Tom was worried that he’d fucked up massively. You could hear his breathing shake, as you both stared up at the ceiling. Maybe it was slightly horrible, but you couldn’t help but feel insanely blissfully happy. Tom was your future and it was good to know he was starting to get the ball rolling.

“I’m a size N” You whispered up to the ceiling “just for the record.” You both swivelled to look at each other simultaneously, your smirk completely overwhelmed by the smile of pure joy that grew on Tom’s face. Yes the room was dark and you could barely see, but that image might just be one that lives forever in your memory - as your absolute favourite.

“Just-just so we’re on the same page… um, thats your fourth finger? Left hand?”

Finally moving from the awkward position, you nestled your head into the crook of his neck, legs wrapping round his. You chose not to answer super specifically, because it seemed like he was asking more than just one question there. Just very broad and very open to interpretation answer.

“Yes and… and um yes too…just for the record”

~~ let me know what you thought <3 ~~

tagging: @hallecarey1 @hollandfanficlove @crossyourpeter @lovehollandy12 @thefernandasantana

[somewhatgreatexpectations]

Home (Wanda Maximoff/ Reader)

Umm... Surprise!

Double Lizzie! Here's a little something I don't think any of you expected. :)

There she was, smiling back at you. When she moved towards you, everything slowed down and when she pressed her lips to your it was like you had all the answers you ever needed to know. Forever.

Leigh pulled you closer and you wrapped your arms loosely around her, the feeling familiar.

When you pulled away you looked over Leigh’s shoulder to see Wanda smiling weakly back at you, her hand connected with someone else. Someone that wasn’t you.

Before you could look any longer, Leigh gently placed her hand on your cheek to get your attention. You smiled easily back at her. It was Leigh. It always was.

With a start, you shot up in bed, the images from your dream still flashing vividly in your mind. It was like your subconscious was telling you the path that you should take.

Suddenly, the tangled webs in your heart came undone because you knew. You knew. Even though it was going to break your heart, you knew what you had to do.

You would never forgive yourself if you didn’t.

With shaky hands, you scrambled for your phone. The simple action felt heavy as you blindly scrolled through your contacts until you landed on the familiar name. Your finger hovered over the contact, the weight of the action feeling almost impossible as your heart thrummed heavily against your ribcage. The phone rang steadily, and you were certain there would be no answer until-

“Y/n? Is everything okay?” The groggy voice floating softly into your ears. The sight of her face on your screen caused your heart rate to increase.

“Yes- No… I don’t know. I just- I needed to talk to someone and I realize how selfish it is of me to call and ask that of you, but I just-… I needed to hear your voice.”

Her voice interrupted your nervous ramblings as she sleepily rubbed her eyes. “Y/n. Breathe. It’s fine. Let’s talk.”

Hesitantly you laid back in your bed, the images from your dream still racing intensely in your mind. “Thank you, Wanda.” You mumbled, sheepishly rubbing the back of your neck. You quietly watched her yawn as she shifted the pillows around on her bed. “What are you doing?”

“It’s late. We can talk while I’m comfortable in bed.” She explained simply and you could see her smile slightly at your question.

All you could do was wish you were there. In her arms with your head on her chest. The study strum of her heartbeat under your ear. You held tightly to a pillow and pretended it was her instead.

For a moment silence settled into the air and you were almost certain Wanda had fallen back asleep until her voice broke up the silence. “What made you call at…” You could see her tilt her head to glance at the clock on her bedside table. “4 in the morning. Is everything okay?”

Her words were cautious. “I had a dream about you.” You eventually mumbled.

“What was it about?”

You swallowed thickly as you contemplated the answer. “In the dream, I was with Leigh and you… You were there with someone else.” You admitted. Honestly was something you valued with Wanda and she deserved to know.

“Oh.”

There was disappointment in her voice and you could feel the distance between you grow. That was the last thing you wanted. You wanted her to pull you closer. Always closer.

Desperately you changed the subject after several minutes of unbearable silence. “Wanda?” She hummed in response. “Why do you love me?”

“Well… because you’re a bad dancer.” She began teasingly, her voice still thick with sleep. You huffed and opened your mouth to respond until she continued. “Because you’re an over-thinker… but not in a bad way. You over-think when you care... Because of how you repeat the words under your breath when you read… Because you’re complicated.”

A soft chuckle fell from your lips. “I think that’s an understatement.”

Her eyes fluttered slightly, and a small smile spread across her lips. The sight took your breath away. “And also… because I always thought I was impossible to love… Then you came around and made it look so… easy.”

You smiled slightly back at her, your heart thudding in your chest. “It is easy.”

The only response you received was a small smile in return as you watched her eyes slowly close through the screen. You still hadn’t said the words that were on the tip of your tongue. Even if you wanted to. You couldn’t. Not until you could tell her it was only her.

The steady rise and fall of her breathing slowly lulled you to sleep.

Maybe love wasn’t always lightning bolts. Maybe sometimes it was a blooming flower. Growing slowly and steadily until suddenly it was all there was in the world… And Wanda was.

She was all there was in your world.

When you opened your eyes the following morning, you were greeted by the sight of Wanda still on the screen before you. Her face was free from any tension as she continued to dream soundlessly. You didn’t have the heart to wake her.

Slowly picking up the phone, you whispered. “Sleep tight, Wanda.”

As you were preparing to hang up, a sleepy groan filled the serene morning air. “Where are you going?”

“There’s something I need to do.” You told her somberly.

Still half-asleep, Wanda turned and mumbled, “Hurry back to me.”

Your lips quirked up slightly at the familiar saying. “As fast as I can.” You whispered back to her before ending the call. There would be no more avoiding it. You knew what you needed to do.

With unsteady fingers you began to type the message that you dreaded. The unsteady path of your heart had never felt more treacherous.

_____________

The closer you got to the destination, the more your heart ached. You could feel it splintering with the loss of something you hadn’t even said goodbye to yet. The loss of something that had never been yours but had been all that you were for so long. The loss of the foundation that was all you loved and how you learned to love.

The chase and the ache.

With a heavy sigh, you opened the door. After you found a secluded table in the corner of the familiar café you were greeted by the sight of the woman you had spent the majority of your life thinking was the beginning and end of love for you.

You never would have thought that your heart was capable of more.

“Y/n.” She greeted with a hesitant smile. She was nervous. The sight alone made your stomach turn in agony. “I thought we would be meeting at the spot later today.”

There was hope in her voice and you hated that you might dimish that.

You licked your lips and pretended to not notice the way her eyes were drawn to the action. “Can we talk?”

Her smile fell, and she shut her eyes. “Do we really need to?”

“I think it’s best we do, Leigh.” Wordlessly, she gestured for you to go on. Your vision became blurry with unshed tears as you struggled to push through. “Leigh, I love you-”

“Then why are you doing this?” She asked quietly, tears glistening in her eyes.

Your heart thudded at the sight. You never wanted to hurt her. You came back to help her, not cause her more pain. There was no better way to do this though.

The truth would hurt but you knew lying would hurt her more.

With a shaky breath you continued. “I’m not in love with you anymore. I can’t-… I can’t let you wait around for something that I’m not capable of feeling again. It’s just… When I think of Wanda… I’m home.”

Her lip quivered. “Did you ever see that with me?” You bit your lip in hesitation. “It's okay... I want to know.”

A sigh fell from your lips as your gaze fell to the floor. “Even on our best days I couldn’t.” Leigh took a shaky breath. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still think about you. That your voice didn’t echo in my chest and your fingerprints weren’t stamped all over my heart… I just think we never got it right. And maybe that was the universe telling us that maybe it wasn’t us.”

“What if we ignore what the universe is saying? What if I want it to be us anyway?” Her words were small. A stark contrast to the self-reliant woman you knew she was. You hated that you reduced her to this.

Your eyes clenched shut in anguish. “Leigh… You deserve happiness. You deserve all the little moments of joy that life has to offer... You deserve everything you told yourself you didn’t deserve and so much more… I can’t give you that. Not when I’m in love with her.”

“Why her?” She asked, and you looked up to meet her pleading eyes.

The answer rolled off your tongue with ease. You didn’t need to think about why you loved Wanda when the list was endless. “I was running for so long that I never thought anyone would catch me. I never thought I’d even be able to catch myself again… Then I let her find me and it felt like everything fell into place with her. I stopped feeling so lost… It’s like the thing I didn’t know I was searching for found me and suddenly everything made sense again.”

“That’s how I feel about you.” You could hear her whisper brokenly over the heavy sound of silence. Sometimes silence was so much loud than any words could be.

Unsteadily you reached across the table and took her hands in your own, the feeling of her skin against yours was comforting, but it didn’t set you ablaze like it used to. “I’m always going to love you, Leigh, even if it’s not the way you want me to.” You began quietly, your thumb stroking a soothing pattern along the back of her hand. “We weren’t meant for each other and I think that was something we both knew… But that never stopped you from loving me and it sure as hell never stopped me from loving you.”

Tears fell down Leigh’s cheeks and you could feel a hot trail of tears on your own cheeks. “Kiss me.” She whispered.

“What?”

Her lips turned up sadly. “Kiss me goodbye.”

“It doesn’t have to be goodbye.” You replied quietly, your mind flashing to the night of her wedding.

Your eyes fixated on the way her lower lips quivered as she worked desperately to maintain her smile. “It does. Kiss me goodbye.” She repeated. You stared back at her with parted lips, the words stolen from your chest because even though you knew it was going to hurt, you still couldn’t have prepared yourself. “Goodbye because I love you.”

Gently you released her hands and leaned across the table, your palms sliding against her cheeks until they rested on the back of her neck as you slowly pulled her closer. The pull was slow as you both waited with bated breath for your lips to connect.

When your lips finally met, you could feel Leigh tangle her hands into your hair and press herself as close as she possibly could with the table in between you. Your lips fell into a familiar dance as you allowed yourself to get lost in the moment. To get lost in one final embrace.

It was the end of something monumental but the start of something beautiful.

After several minutes you finally pulled away, you allowed your eyes to remain closed for a moment and relish the finality of it all. When your eyes opened once again, you were met with the sight of familiar green eyes turning away from you over Leigh’s shoulder. Your blood ran cold.

“Wanda.” You whispered as you saw her disappear around the corner.

Leigh’s hand on your face gently redirected your attention. “What?”

“Wanda saw.” You mumbled, already standing up to chase after her. “I have to explain.”

As you were leaving, Leigh caught your hand and you turned to face her. Meeting her heartbroken expression made your chest clench. “I'll still look for you. Even in places I know you’ve never been... And I’ll miss you without saying a word. Goodbye, Y/n.”

Your world slowed down as you watched her heartbreak in front of you. No words would suffice. No words could make the situation better as you slowly released her hand and let her walk away. Watching the way, she disappeared to the left of the café. In the opposite direction as Wanda. How poetic.

Though life was easier when you finally knew what you felt. You followed the path to the right. You followed the path of your heart.

________________

Despite following after Wanda minutes after she left, the woman vanished without a trace. Quite literally vanished. Her phone went to voicemail and her apartment was vacant. The fear that bubbled in your chest made it almost impossible to function because all she had seen was you kissing Leigh. She didn’t hear you tell Leigh you were in love with her. She didn’t hear you tell Leigh goodbye. All she knew was that you kissed Leigh after dreaming of her the night before.

You knew there was one other place that she could be and that involved a trip across the country. Wanda was worth it though. She needed to know it was her. It would always be her.

With steely resolve, you drove to the airport and booked the first flight to New York, taking only the clothes on your back.

_______________

The sight of the Avengers tower looming over you was a daunting sight and it took all your willpower to step into the building and approach the front desk.

A large man dressed in all black was sat at the desk that was in front of the elevators. You hesitantly made your way over to him, trying not to wince at how much bigger the man was compared to you when you were face-to-face.

“Um. Hello.” The man continued looking at the screen of the computer before him as if you didn't exist. “I’m here to see Wanda Maximoff. Is she here?” The man grunted in amusement.

You shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot as the man continued to ignore your existence. “I’ll give you another thirty seconds before I forcibly remove you from my building.” He mumbled distractedly.

“I’m pretty sure the building belongs to Tony Stark.” You mumbled sarcastically, wincing when the man glared at you angrily. “I just need to see Wanda Maximoff.”

He stood up from behind the desk menacingly. “And I need you to get the hell out of my lobby.”

“I-I’m dating Wanda Maximoff!” You exclaimed. Were you? You hoped you could still say that at least.

He sneered down at you. “Yeah and I’m Natasha Romanoff’s husband. You’re not fooling anyone kid.”

When he made his way around the desk, he towered over you threateningly. “I just need to talk to her!” You explained anxiously.

“Yeah and I just need to take Black Widow on a date.” He began pushing you back by the shoulder, clenching his jaw when you refused to move. “Get the hell out of here!” He stated as he picked you up and began walking you towards the doors.

Out of desperation you began squirming in his arms, your hand slipping as you were desperately trying to slip out of his grasp. The slip caused you to punch the man in the lip.

Your eyes widened when you saw the blood trickle down from the split you had created. He dropped you and you sprawled out on the floor, glancing up at him fearfully. “Sir, I’m so sorry. I just need to-”

The man angrily wiped the blood from his lip with the back of his hand. “I don’t care what you need. I’ve lost my patience.” The man pinned your arm to your back and twisted, your face pressing into the floor from the force of it all. “All this could have been avoided if you just listened the first time.”

“What the hell are you doing?”

From your position on the floor, your eyes met Wanda’s whose eyes were practically glowing in fury. The eye contact was broken when the man twisted more and pressed your face further into the cool tile of the lobby. A small yelp of pain fell from your lips as you could feel the bone in your forearm bend in ways it shouldn’t.

“Just taking out the trash Miss. Maximoff.” The man said smugly, and you couldn’t even see her reaction from the tears that were clouding your vision from the physical pain.

“Let go of her.” Wanda warned darkly. The man just twisted more in response and you were sure you something was about to snap as you yelled out in pain. “I said let go of her!” Before you knew it the weight that was bending your arm was removed and you heard something crash into one of the walls.

You rolled over on your back, panting from the pain as you cradled your arm. Your vision was blurry as you blinked to attempt to focus on the world around you again and not on the pain in your arm.

Before you knew it, Wanda was swimming in your vision as she cupped your cheeks worriedly. “Are you okay?”

Suddenly the pain was the last thing on your mind as you looked up at her. “Wanda, I need to talk to you.” You huffed out through pained gasps.

“Y/n, your arm might be broken! That is not priority right now.”

You shook your head. “It is priority, Wanda! I don’t care about my arm! I just need to talk to you.”

Wanda sighed. “Okay. But only after you let Bruce tend to your arm.” You heaved out a defeated breath and nodded. Wanda carefully helped you up and your heart fluttered when she wrapped an arm protectively around you.

As she began leading you to the elevators, you heard the man groan in discomfort. Wanda’s eyes began to glow and your own widened slightly in surprise. You watched as red energy drifted from her fingers and wrapped around the man before she tossed him into the opposite wall.

“If you ever set foot in this building again I'll make sure it's the last step you take.” Wanda warned with a point of her finger, her accent thick. Your mouth went dry at the sight. Hot, you thought to yourself.

After an hour of being examined by Bruce Banner, your arm was wrapped in soft cast and you were sent off. You were still processing the fact that the Hulk just tended to you as Wanda led you to her room. The ride up the elevator was tense with silence. You just wanted to tell her everything, but you wanted to tell her the right way. Not blurt it out in an elevator.

When you finally made it to the safety of her room, you took her hand, frowning when she lightly took her hand back. “Wanda. What you saw…” Her gaze fell to the floor. “It wasn’t what it seemed.”

“It seemed like you were kissing Leigh.” She mumbled.

You began fidgeting with your fingers. “Okay, maybe it was what it seemed… But it wasn’t like that. I-I… With Leigh… It was…” The words tumbled from your lips awkwardly as you desperately tried to express the contents of your heart. You needed her to listen, but you couldn't seem to find the right words.

Wanda sighed. “You don’t have to explain to me, Y/n. And you certainly didn’t have to fly all the way to New York to do this. I get it.”

“I didn’t know that it was possible to survive a heartbreak like that… To move on.” You said suddenly, not even allowing your mind time to process anymore. Wanda's eyes widened in surprise at the shift. “And I think it echoed in my heart even when I didn’t want it to anymore... Making a full recovery was never in the plans, Wanda. Even if I never said it out loud.”

Wanda’s gaze fell again, the sleeves on her jacket stretched from the way she had been anxiously pulling on them. “Y/n, it’s okay.” She turned, and you could feel your heart break. The shattered pieces calling out to her. “Maybe you should go.”

Before she was out of reach you caught her hand, reveling in the feeling of love that burst in your chest from even the slightest contact. She turned back to you but refused to meet your eyes. You resented yourself for what you had done to her.

“I thought the ache would linger forever, Wanda.” You continued, taking a sharp breath. “I didn’t know I’d ever be capable of loving someone again… Only so much deeper. Deeper than I even thought possible.”

You could see the way she stopped breathing for a moment, as if she wasn’t sure how serious you were. “What does that-”

“It was that smile… The first time I saw it, I knew I wanted to see it for the rest of my life.” You softly tugged her closer. “It was never a question, Wanda… I was just too scared to let go. To step into the daylight when I had spent so long being comfortable in the dark.”

Her eyes watered, and you felt panic begin to rise in your throat because maybe you waited too long. Maybe she realized that it wasn’t worth waiting for you to finally see what she had known all along. Maybe she was tired of waiting for you to realize how stupid you would be to walk away from something so pure. To realize how stupid, you were to think even for a moment that she wasn’t the actual love of your-

Your brain short circuited when she placed her hands on the back of your neck and pulled you into her lips. You sighed contently against her as your mind finally slowed down enough to allow yourself to bask in the warmth of her love.

Your mind – your heart – seemed to only be capable of functioning around her.

Without hesitation, your arms wrapped around her waist tightly and pulled her as close as you possibly could. You gave yourself over to her entirely. You had never wanted anyone like this before.

All you wanted to know was Wanda. All you wanted to see was Wanda. All you wanted to love was Wanda. She was… everything.

With the fog finally lifted you could see that your heart had belonged to her since the moment she sat across from you in that café and there would have been no coming back. Letting her walk away would have been the greatest regret of your life.

Wanda was home.

When you finally pulled away you couldn’t help the goofy smile that spread across your lips. Wanda smiled back at you and your heart ached in the best way possible. “Why are you smiling at me like that?”

“It’s just all so clear now. You’re daylight. I don’t need anything else now that I have you.” The way her eyes twinkled made your smile widen. “I love you.”

Wanda just stared at you for a moment, her eyes shining so bright they rivaled the morning sun. The sight made your heart flutter happily against your rib cage. “You said it.” She breathed out quietly.

Your stomach flipped at her words. “It was long overdue.” Your palm raised to slid tenderly over her cheek. “I love you. I am so, so… so in love with you, Wanda Maximoff.”

The sound of her breath hitching filled the quiet room. “Say it again.”

You smiled. “I love you, I love you, I love y-”

As the phrase was falling from your lips, your words were interrupted by the woman before you. “I love you, too.” A breathless laugh fell from her lips. “I’ve been waiting to hear those words. To know that you love me back. To know that you feel the way I do.”

You lightly pressed your forehead against hers. “I may have gotten a little lost along the way, but I’ve found my way home.”

Wanda lips turned up slightly in a confused smirk. “You’ve been home.”

“No, I haven’t.” You licked your lips. “Home is your eyes looking back at me, home is the way your nose scrunches when you're happy, home is the way you laugh. Home is waking up in your arms every morning. Home is wherever you are… You are home to me, Wanda.”

“Y/n…” She whispered, her hands bunching into the front of your shirt.

You rested your forehead against hers. “Loving you was always easy. Even when it shouldn’t have been. And I know it will always be easy to love you, no matter what. You are my home, Wanda Maximoff. And you are my heart.”

Wanda leaped into your arms and you stumbled back slightly as she connected her lips to your and your heart exploded. The only life worth living would be a life you spent with Wanda.

Thankfully, that was exactly the life you ended up living.

Surprise, Team Wanda! An alternate ending to hopefully easy the damage I caused to your hearts last week. This was always in the plans because I knew I couldn't hurt you guys. I just wanted the true ending to have it's moment. So Leigh's ending is the ending, but if you're team Wanda... You can pretend it's this one instead. Huge shoutout to @mionemymind for helping me out of my writer's block and encouraging me! and @abimess for the constant motivation!

I hope you all enjoyed! Would love to hear your thoughts and comments as they are always welcome. :)

Tag List: @khiaraaa-in-spacee // @causeitswhatjesuswouldfreakingdo // @halobaby // @madamevirgo // @aimezvousbrahms // @trikruismybitch // @marvels-writings // @izalesbean // @imdreamingblo // @i-choose-you-cyndaquil // @helloalycia // @scarlets-maximoff // @cantcontroltheirfear // @women-am-i-right // @funnysoldier // @myfavoriteficss // @imapotatao // @imagine-reblog // @blackxwidowsxwife // @purplemeetsblue // @cristin-rjd // @ravens-ss // @legaypandaboi // @myperfectlovepoem // @diaryoflife // @stupidsapphicsstuff // @ouat2017 // @abimess // @wellsayhelloaagin

[tenswrld]

old enough to understand

mark lee x reader, childhood friends to lovers, fluff

summary: now that you’re older, you seem to finally understand how mark makes you feel

a/n: came up with this at 2am while listening to my mark lee dedicated playlist and pluto projector came on and u already know that one part made me emotional also do u like my doodles i made on the photo ^^

growing up, you were surrounded by the concept of love. you witnessed it with your parents, when you got your first pet, and even when you took your first bite into your favorite fruit.

when you first met mark lee at the age of 6, you didn’t think that the word love would apply to him. at least, not in the way that you knew it. 

“no! it’s mine, i don’t want to give you any!” the young boy yelled.

“you can just go get more! i just want some watermelon!” you screamed back.

“go get some yourself!”

angry, you stomped away towards the table of adults. “mrs. lee, mark won’t give me a piece of his watermelon.”

the older woman laughed softly before getting up and leading you to the table of fruit. “forgive him, watermelon is his favorite. i’ll be sure to make sure he shares next time, okay?”

while you ate your own fruit alone in the grass, mark came up to you scratching his neck awkwardly, avoiding eye contact. “i’m sorry for being rude...i just really like watermelon...”

you narrowed your eyes at him before bursting into a fit of giggles, offering your own watermelon out to him. “it’s okay, mark, i like watermelon too. i understand.” he took the piece that you held out to him and took a seat next to you.

when you first met mark, you didn’t think anything of him except for that he was the dorky boy next door who seemed to reserve the concept of love for his favorite fruit.

in middle school, you and mark seemed to clash heads more often than not, and you found it hard to stick around him. desperate to seem cool in front of the new friends that he made, mark steered away from you and teased you whenever he saw you in the halls. you almost despised him in your middle school years, but no matter how much teasing he did mark always waited for you outside of the school gates and walked you home safely. 

though he was still unsure of the role you had in his life, mark knew that he wanted to keep you around.

in high school, your parents fantasized about the idea of the two of you dating, but you and mark always recoiled at the thought. friend groups and social status set you and mark even further apart and before you knew it you became a messenger to girls who wanted mark to call their own. when you got your first boyfriend in sophomore year, mark tried to warn you that the guy was no good, but like always you never listened to him. when he broke your heart, you expected mark to scold you and tell you he told you so, but he provided you comfort in his arms instead.

though he didn’t love you then, mark vowed that he would never let your heart get broken again.

when it came time for you and mark to go off to college, you found yourself a lot more upset than you had initially thought you would be. you were excited to go off and find yourself elsewhere, but something about not having the silly, brown haired boy by your side 24/7 felt strange. granted, you two weren’t as close as your six year old self thought you would be, but you found that you and mark held a special type of bond that you feared you wouldn’t find anywhere else. 

you still hadn’t figured out your love for mark lee, but you knew that leaving him was one of the hardest things you’ve ever had to do.

“just...promise to call often, okay?” you told him as you walked with him to his car, a box of his things in your arms.

mark’s lips curled up into a smug smile. “why? gonna miss me that much?” 

you rolled your eyes. “you’re making me regret saying that. you’ll be lucky if i don’t block you after this, idiot.”

mark laughed loudly and you found yourself smiling softly at the sound. you placed the box in his truck before you both turned to each other. “i’ll text you everyday and call when i can. don’t worry, you can’t get rid of me that easily. you’ll probably be hearing about my uncontrollable gas everyday so if that’s not what you’re looking for then...”

you laughed and shoved his shoulder, mumbling for him to shut up. “it’s gonna be weird without you, i think.”

mark shrugged. “yeah, well, we’ll see each other again. just think about it like that time where you got so mad at me for blowing up your house in minecraft that you ignored me for a week!”

mark expected you to laugh but became concerned when he saw your lip quivering and your eyes threatening to spill tears. “y/n? sorry, is that, like, a sensitive memory?”

when you suddenly wrapped your arms around his torso and mumbled a soft ‘i’ll miss you’ into his chest, mark cursed at himself for being the first one to fall in love.

___

“isn’t it like 4am for you? you should go to bed,” you scolded him half heartedly. you sat at your vanity on facetime with a sleepy mark as you did your nightly skincare routine.

mark groaned through the phone and shook his head. “but i wanna talk to you,” he whined groggily. “i miss you.”

your cheeks heat up and you smiled shyly. “i miss you too, mark.”

mark blinked slowly with a tired look, his hair all messed up and his face in need of a shave. he watched you silently as you rubbed your moisturizer into your skin, smiling at the sight. “...you’re really pretty you know that?”

you froze and chuckled nervously, keeping yourself busy with your moisturizer so you didn’t have to see the way mark was looking at you. “you’re talking nonsense again.”

he grumbled, “i’m not talking any nonsense. you’re so pretty, y/n, i miss seeing your face. i hate facetime and my shit wifi.”

“you’re rambling, marky, go to bed,” you ushered him, this time grabbing your phone to look at him.

he smiled fondly at you. “i like it when you call me marky.”

“okay, i’ll call you it more if you go to bed.” 

mark huffed and complied, bidding you one last goodbye. “fine. i miss you so much, y/n, call me tomorrow.”

“okay, i will.”

“promise?” mark asked softly, peeking open one eye to look at you.

“i promise, you big baby.”

“okay, goodnight. love you,” mark mumbled softly into his pillow, already half asleep.

your breath hitched in your throat at his words. you two hardly ever said that phrase to each other but you began to realize that nowadays mark seemed to say it quite often. before, you’d probably make a face in disgust at the cheesiness, but now it only made your stomach sick with butterflies.

“yeah, love you too, marky. sleep tight.” 

already fast asleep, mark stayed silent. your thumb hovered over the ‘end call’ button, but you waited a few more seconds just to look at how peaceful mark looked. you could see the sky turning from a dark black to a paler blue from his window, making you frown since the boy had stayed up so late. before you could look at him any longer, you ended the call and sat back in your chair.

loving mark lee had always seemed impossible to you, but now you realized that it was the one thing that you wanted to do for the rest of your life.

___

you spent a lot of time thinking about your feelings for mark while you were away and most of it was you being in denial. you thought that maybe it was just because you weren’t used to being so far away from him, but deep down you knew otherwise. your friends had tried setting you up on blind dates, yet no one seemed to fill in the gap that you felt you had in your heart.

after you finished your first year of college, your mother began to pester you about having a boyfriend for you to bring home for the holidays. yet no matter how many guys you thought about, your mind would always bring you back to mark.

it was now christmas time and your family and mark’s family were going to have a small get together, meaning that you and mark would get to spend time with each other in person again. you weren’t sure if you should tackle mark at the sight of him, but you figured he would do the same to you anyway.

“y/n, sweetheart! my gosh, it’s been so long! you’ve grown up so well,” mark’s mother cooed as she gave you a warm hug.

you chuckled and returned her hug, replying with, “thank you, mrs. lee. it’s nice to see you again.”

she playfully nudged your shoulder. “any boyfriend yet?”

you laughed awkwardly and shook your head, looking away. “oh, um, no...not yet.”

she beamed. “mark will be happy to hear that.” she said it so fast that you almost didn’t catch it. “he’s out back waiting for you. i told him i’d tell him when you got here, but it’ll be a nice surprise for him,” she winked.

you thanked her briefly before making your way to the backyard excitedly. you thought that you’d be more nervous facing the boy you loved but, frankly, all you wanted to do was finally tell him that you loved him.

when you opened the door mark immediately turned his head, expecting to see his mom, but his facial expression completely changed when he saw you. he ran up to you with the brightest smile on his face and engulfed you into his arms. you laughed joyously into his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you as close to his chest as humanly possible.

“you have no idea how long i’ve been waiting to do that,” he mumbled into your hair.

you smiled against his shoulder before pulling away to look at him. the two of you held eye contact for what felt like an eternity before mark finally returned his arms back to his side.

“even though we call everyday, it feels like i’m meeting you for the first time all over again,” mark said with a light laugh.

“i hope i lived up to your expectations, then,” you joked.

mark smiled fondly at you before brushing snow out of your hair. “definitely above expectations.”

you blushed at his comment but thanked the cold weather for hiding your rosy cheeks. before you could make more small talk, mark burst out into another sentence.

“y/n, i have to get this off of my chest before i explode,” he blurted.

your eyes widened and you nodded your head. “oh, um, okay, what is it?”

he gripped at his hair and turned around, beginning to whine. “oh my god, i’m gonna sound like the biggest idiot on earth. please don’t hate me after this.”

“...what did you do, mark?”

“i didn’t do anything! well...” he faced you again with a sigh and grabbed your hands taking you by surprise. “y/n, i’m in love with you. and i know you probably just see me as that stupid annoying boy your mom forced you to be friends with but i’ve loved you for over a year and it’s driving me crazy and i-”

“mark!” you interrupted him, placing a hand over his mouth. he looked at you with wide eyes while you smiled at him, practically glowing with happiness. you removed your hand from over his mouth and he sighed again.

“just reject me so i can go cry in my room.” mark shut his eyes and prepared himself for rejection but it never came.

“i love you too, mark.”

mark opened one at to stare at you suspiciously. “...really? like, seriously?”

you chuckled. “yes, really. for a few months now.”

“wait, you’re not pranking me or anything, right?” mark asked with a small laugh.

you glared at him. “mark...”

“i’m sorry, i’m just really surprised!” mark opened his mouth to say something but then gasped and dug into his back pocket to grab something.

when he pulled out a small piece of mistletoe you seemed to fall in love with the brunette boy all over again. he grabbed one of your hands and gently pulled you closer to him, using the other hand to hold the mistletoe over your guys’ heads. 

“i brought this just in case. i know that you’ve always fantasized about a moment like this so...” he said sheepishly. “kiss me?”

you laughed and brushed his hair out of his eyes before cupping his cheeks and placing a soft kiss on his lips. you felt him smile into the kiss, making you laugh and pull away.

“been waiting for that one too, huh?” you teased.

mark waved the mistletoe above the two of you and shook his head. “less talking and more kissing please...”

it took you over 10 years for you to realize that you loved mark lee but, if you had to, you would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

[okaywa]

*Kiss Me Sweetly

Tendou x f!reader 

Angst with a happy ending, excessive fluff, friends to lovers, smut, dry humping 

4.4k words

The demon of Shiratorizawa had crimson hair and eyes to match. He was tall, composed of long limbs and sharp angles. His eyes were perpetually half-lidded and droopy with dark bags. He had a crooked smile made up of pointed teeth and a silver tongue that frequently got him in trouble with the school staff and students alike. 

He wasn’t actually a demon, a nickname branded to him by cruel children in elementary school. He wasn’t a monster either, despite popular belief. Although he had learned to embraced his title as the Guess Monster, even learned to love the respect that came with it from his opponents. In the end, however, Tendou Satori was just tired. Tired of the people at this school, tired of the nicknames that stalked him though the halls, and tired of you.

You, who never stooped to your peers level with half-brained insults and nicknames. You, who had smiled and said hello every time you saw him since elementary. You, who encouraged him to pursue volleyball, the only thing he felt powerful doing. You, who sat through his seemingly endless chatter with an interested smile. You, you, you and your kind smiles, soft words, and gentle curves. 

It wasn’t until high school that you started sitting with him at lunch. Eventually lunch transitioned into getting coffee every Monday after school. Then the coffee hangouts progressed to going to your house and reading the latest manga he was interested in every Friday. 

Each moment with you was a breath held in anticipation for the other shoe to finally drop. When were you just going to get it all over with and stop acting like you cared about him? Enough of the pity, please. No more shared lunches. Stop giving him your notes when he fell asleep in class. He was exhausted for you. 

Sometimes he let himself believe you. That you actually cared for him and enjoyed being around him. He convinced himself that your laughter was genuine when he teased you and made sardonic jokes about the world. He could go months relishing in your friendship before remembering it wasn’t real. 

Being around him certainly didn’t benefit you. He had heard plenty of the rumors and he know you did as well. 

I heard that he’s so controlling she’s too scared to actually leave him. 

We aren’t even together, he thought viciously.

Well, I heard that she only puts up with him because she feels bad. Seriously, who actually wants to hang around that freak . 

He wanted to scream that he knew. He knew you pitied him. He wanted you to leave but you never got the goddamn hint. You stuck by his side all through high school and now it was the last day and you were still here. Sitting next to him, sharing his earbuds. You could’ve walked home ages ago, but you were adamant about waiting at the train station until he got picked up.

“You can stop now,” he said, setting you free. 

“Hm?” You looked up from your phone. “Oh, do you want to play your music?”

“No, you can leave,” he snapped. “No one is looking at you anymore; no one cares. You don’t have to be here with me.”

“Tendu-chan, I don’t understand,” your pretty lips were turned down in a frown. 

“I don’t need you,” he lied. “You don’t have to be here to make me feel better. It’s over, we move on now and we forget about it.” 

“What are you talking about?” Your voice was soft, confused. 

“I don’t need your pity,” he said, finally getting the words off his chest after all these years. “I know you only stuck around because you felt bad for me. But I don’t need it anymore, high school is over. I don’t need you to hang out with me because you feel bad.”

His eyes were closed, and he relished in the peace of finally, finally spitting it out. 

“Is that what you think?” 

His eyes snapped open. You were angry? You should be happy. Happy you finally have an excuse to get away. A clear exit.

“Fuck you, Tendou,” you stood up, throwing his headphones at his chest. “That’s what you really think of me? That I just pity you? You think I’m so shallow that I hung around you to make myself feel better? Is that what you think?”

You stopped, sucking in a steadying breath while he stared up at you in shock. Yes, that’s exactly what he had thought. 

“I-” 

“No,” you cut him off swiftly. “You’ve said enough. I’m leaving. You can talk to me when you get your head out of your ass.” 

Tendou watched you walk away until you disappeared around a corner. He had been wrong? But he almost always guessed right… right?

Had he really been so consumed by his self-loathing that he had misread the intentions of the one person who cared the most for him? 

“Oh,” he let his head fall back against the bench and stared at the bright sky until his eyes watered. 

Not many had witnessed it, but the demon of Shiratorizawa was indeed just a person. A person with emotions, as disguised as they may be. He hid behind this personality he’d crafted. The carefree, loud, perpetually cheerful demeanor that protected him from his peers and their wicked words. It had never protected him from you though. You saw through it as if it were glass, just a window to his misery. 

“Oh,” he said again, standing up slowly. “I see now.” 

He boarded the train and rested his forehead against the window, watching dark storm clouds creep over the city with the silence of a cat stalking its prey. 

How fitting, for it to rain, he thought as the first drops splattered against the window. 

—-

After three sharp knocks on your door, Tendou stepped back and held his peace offering close to his chest. He knew you were home because your rust bucket of a Toyota was parked in the driveway. His fingers tapped the plastic bag impatiently and it was nearly impossible to ignore the way his heart jumped when the door cracked open slowly.

“Ah, I see you’ve managed to pull your head free. Was it difficult?” You asked flatly, leaning against the doorframe with your arms crossed.

“Immensely, took Wakatoshi three bottles of lube,” he said earnestly. 

You cracked a small smile, eyes flitting to the plastic bag in his arms. You raised an eyebrow as a silent question. 

“Can I come in?” He asked. “It’s awfully cold out here, you don’t want me to catch a cold now, eh Y/n-chan?”

“Maybe I do,” you said, stepping aside to let him in. 

“How cruel of you!” Tendou gasped, pressing a hand to his chest in feigned offense. 

He stepped into your entrance way and you were quickly reminded just how tall he was. His lankiness only made him look taller as he loomed over you, eyebrows drawn together in determination. You stared back, suddenly nervous in the presence of your friend.

“I’m sorry for misjudging you,” he said, intense red eyes still locked on yours. “It was wrong and unfair of me to make such harsh assumptions.” 

You weren’t used to him being this serious. He was always intense but the two combined were overwhelming. 

“Let’s sit down and eat whatever you’ve brought,” you said, stepping around him to walk to the kitchen. “Then we can talk, yeah?”

He followed so close he accidentally kicked your heels a few times and you could still feel the heat of his gaze on the back of your neck. He set the bag on the table and unpacked the to-go containers. 

“It’s from that place you really like,” he said. “By the school.”

“Oh, thank you, Tendou.” You accepted the chopsticks he held out. 

Tendou gasped dramatically. “Such formalities, Y/n-chan!”

“Tendu-chan, then,” you corrected yourself.

“Much better,” he said praisingly.

He sat down across from you, eating only a few pieces of chicken before setting his utensils aside. He didn’t say anything, even as you ate your fill. It was clear he was antsy, fingers tapping a staccato beat against the table. 

When you finally slid your plate to the side he scooted forward, resting his face in his palms expectantly. 

“I forgive you,” you said simply. 

Tendou’s signature manic grin took over his entire face and his long fingers tapped a rapid beat on the table in his excitement. Oh, how he had missed you during the two weeks he spent giving you space. He had never realized how much he enjoyed your presence until it abruptly disappeared. Tendou’d also had a few other revelations during the separation.

He said your name softly, so at odds with his typically loud demeanor. He was his most authentic self in your presence, he had come to realize. You looked up from packing up the remaining food and tilted your head. 

“We are still friends, right?” He asked with a tinge of nervousness. 

“Were we ever?” You countered, not angrily. 

“Yes,” Tendou answered quickly, reaching out to grab your hand. “Of course, it was my mistake to ever think otherwise.”

You looked down at his hand on yours and ran a finger over the wrappings he kept on his two fingers. He watched you keenly, fingers twitching at your delicate touch. 

“My, my,” he said with a sly grin. “What is little Y/n thinking about?”

You shot him a bland look, dropping his hand pointedly. “You’re disgusting.”

Just like that any tension between the two of you vanished with his boisterous laugh. He wiggled his wrapped fingers in your face enticingly until you smacked them away.

“I brought the latest chapter Shonen Jump,” he said animatedly, reaching into his bag. “I thought we could read it together.” 

It was a Friday, after all.

“Sure, let me put this food up,” you said. 

Tendou grinned eagerly, bouncing to his feet while you brought the food to the fridge; already talking a mile a minute about a different manga he had just finished. You couldn’t stop the smile that worked its way onto your face, you loved his aimless rambling. Where you more reserved, Tendou was outgoing and could fill any gaps in the conversation you left behind. It worked well for the two of you. 

While watching Tendou chatter away you wondered if you had been too harsh at the train station. Clearly there was an underlying insecurity that convinced him you didn’t care about him. Was it his history of bullying? Before you had really gotten to know Tendou, it was hard to imagine him as anything but carefree and untouchable. You knew he would tell you eventually. Perhaps today, perhaps tomorrow. Over the past few years you had found the best way to get Tendou to open up was to say nothing at all, his rambling always ended up on touchy topics anyways.

Tendou held out an earbud for you once you sat down on the couch beside him. You placed it in your ear and smiled when you recognized the playlist the two of you had put together. The only time Tendou could stay quiet longer than five minutes was when he was reading. You settled into the familiar routine, sitting close to him while he angled the pages towards you so you could both read. Tendou was such a fast reader you were forced to learn to speed read as well in order to keep up with him. Now, you were perfectly synchronized.

 Today, however, he couldn’t stop glancing over at you. Ugh, he suddenly so acutely aware of everything you did. Every time you shifted to see a panel or readjusted the earbud he felt his heart pickup and he was too aware of every movement he made. His limbs felt too long and awkward, his face felt too warm, and oh my god did he brush his teeth this morning? 

Tendou swallowed nervously, for once relieved for the chapter to finally end so he could put some space between your bodies. He stood up abruptly, wincing when the earbud was ripped out of his ear. 

“Ow,” you held your ear. “Is something wrong, Tendu-chan?”

“Of course not, dearest Y/N,” he put on his widest grin, bowing down and extending his hand. Fuck, your nickname for him was not helping his nerves. “I was just wondering if you would like to accompany me to the bathroom.”

“Ew, what is wrong with you?” You smacked his hand away. 

“Well, you did ask,” he chirped cheerfully before prancing down the hall. 

You sighed, replacing the earbud while settling into a more comfortable position. After several minutes you realized Tendou had yet to return. Frowning, you stood up and went to the bathroom to find the door still closed. 

“Tendu-chan?” You knocked softly. “Everything okay?”

“Oh, Y/N,” Tendou popped his head out from your bedroom. “I was looking at your photo wall.”

You raised your eyebrows, following him inside. “Yeah? I have quite a few.”

It had been a hobby of yours to have at least three pictures of each of yours friends on your wall since elementary school. Since you started hanging out with Tendou at the beginning of high school, his section had amassed a great deal of photos. 

“I forget you’ve never been in here,” you smiled, watching Tendou closely.

You had never seen such an open expression on his face before. His eyes flicked over the photos of him taped to your wall quickly, as if he couldn’t decide which to focus on. 

“I didn’t realize,” he said softly.

“Hm?”

He tilted his head back, sliding his eyes to look at you. “I didn’t realize I still had a safe place, a paradise.” 

“You’ll always be welcome here, Satori,” you reached out and squeezed his bicep. “I promise.” 

“I feel so blind, Y/N,” he closed his eyes, head still tipped back as he took in a slow, study breath. “I thought I had lost everything when volleyball ended. My friends, my passion…” 

Crimson eyes locked on your own, the intensity of them so startling you sucked in a sharp breath. 

“But I still have you,” Tendou said, slowly turning his body to face yours. “Right?”

“Of course,” you answered.

“Good,” he nodded. “Good.” 

His head turned back towards your wall of photos, fingers reaching out to snag at the bottom of one. You looked closer and saw it was a picture of the two of you at one of his games. You had jumped onto his back to hug him and your friend had barely managed to get the shot. The blurry grins on your faces were bright and excited.

“Can I?” He asked, tugging lightly on the corner. 

“Take it, I can print a new one.” You said. 

He peeled it off carefully and flashed a grin at you. 

“Thank you,” he reached out, placing his hand on the top of your head, ruffling your hair messily. 

You knocked his hand away and brushed your hair back into place with a huff. Tendou laughed loudly, sprawling backwards onto your bed with a thump. He looked at the picture once more before sliding it into his pocket. He folded his hands behind his head and looked up at you with his signature sleepy smirk. 

“Make yourself comfortable, I guess,” you said. 

“Aw, you’re so considerate,” Tendou crooned, stretching his arms out until his shirt road up to reveal his toned stomach. 

You glanced down at the exposed skin and blushed, looking away quickly. Tendou noticed, of course, and couldn’t stop the mischievous smirk on his face as he reached out and grabbed your hand. 

“Tendou-“

“Oh, hush,” he chastised lightly. “I’m just getting you to sit. This is your bed, after all.”

You sat down on the edge, watching as he pulled your hand to his chest. He examined your fingers faintly before weaving his fingers with yours. When your fingers spasmed nervously he gripped them tighter. 

“I had a lot of time to think,” he sighed, eyes still fixated on your joined hands, before elaborating. “While we were apart.”

You stayed quiet, waiting for him to continue with bated breath. 

“I like you, Y/N,” his eyes seemed to bore straight into your soul. 

“Tendu-chan-“ You started to pull your fingers away.

One second you were sitting at the edge of the bed and the next you were pinned beneath Tendou’s body. His breath tickled your lips and his hands kept your arms above your head by the wrists. 

“Please, let me say this,” he pleaded, eyes switching between yours and your lips. 

“You made high school bearable for me,” he said, pushing up until he was knelt between your legs instead of having you pinned. His hands rested on either side of your ribs. “I didn’t appreciate you enough at the time but-“

His fingers clenched in the sheets. “I do now, I appreciate you so much. Everyone else thought I was a monster, demon, whatever. It doesn’t matter anymore but when it did you were the only one who made it all easier. Does that make sense?”

“What about Ushijima? Your teammates?”

Tendou chuckled, letting his head droop between his shoulders. “Of course them, silly Y/N. They didn’t really have a choice, hm? I was on the team, you don’t really get to pick who’s there. You went out of your way to befriend me, to make sure I was okay before you even knew me.” 

You looked up at him, ignoring his little sniffle and the way he rubbed his nose against his sleeve subtly. You sat up slowly while Tendou watched you closely with his head tilted. 

“You’re my best friend, you know that right?” You asked softly. 

He nodded. 

“You will always be welcome in my home and I promise I will always want you around. You’re right, whatever those people used to say about you doesn’t matter. They were needlessly cruel and I wish I could’ve stopped them from hurting you,” you reached up, cupping his cheek gently. “You’re important, Tendu-chan. You’re caring, funny, and genuine. I love hearing about your favorite anime and your coolest blocks. I really do.” 

“Ohhh, is little Y/N crying for me?” He cooed, using his sleeve to wipe away the tears gathering on your lashes. “Sweet thing.” 

“I’m serious,” you said, letting him wipe your cheeks. 

“I know,” he squinted at you. “Will you let me try something?”

From the way his crimson eyes kept flickering down to your lips, you could easily guess what he wanted to try. You nodded mutely, breath catching excitedly as his face drew closer. 

The first touch of his lips felt like a static shock. Your eyes fluttered close as he pushed a little closer, experimentally moving his lips against yours. He let out a low groan into your mouth, pushing forward until you were laying down again. The hands that had been by your sides now moved to tangle in your hair and cup your face while his hips settled comfortably between your thighs. 

The first brush of his tongue across your bottom lip sent fire licking up your spine which eventually settled as a fluttering warmth in your stomach. Your hands came up to grab his arms, nails leaving shallow crescents on the pale skin of his biceps through his shirt. Parting with a nip to your bottom lip, Tendou licked his lips as he looked down at you. 

The sight of your flushed cheeks and kiss-swollen lips sent a thrill of exhilaration through his chest. 

“Well?” He asked, a cocky grin smeared across his lips. 

It was like you were seeing Tendou in a brand new light. Before he was just your friend. You always knew he was good-looking but now, you were supremely aware of his shapely lips, cut jaw, and broad shoulders. His hips between yours was as intoxicating as the elated look on his face. 

“Stop looking so smug,” you huffed, pulling him down to your lips again. 

Laughing softly, Tendou happily obliged you in another sensuous kiss that left you dizzy and breathless. He swallowed your gasp when he experimentally rolled his hips into yours.

He pulled back, eyes lidded with a dazed smile, and tilted his head. “Is that okay?”

You nodded eagerly, leaning up to capture him in another kiss. With a sly smirk he pulled out of your reach, head tilted expectantly. 

“Yes, Tendou, now please get back to it,” you snapped, secretly appreciative of his need for clear consent. 

“There we go,” he murmured, stooping back down with a thorough roll of his hips. 

A groan was shared between both of your open mouths as his hips fell into a steady rhythm, slowly undulating against you. Sighing out his name, you let your head fall back while Tendou trailed kisses across your jaw and down to your throat. 

“Fuck, Y/N, you’re so perfect,” he murmured breathlessly, leaving wet, open-mouth kisses down the column of your throat. “Feel so good, hah-“

 His clothed erection lined up perfectly with your core, sending searing electricity flickering through your stomach. Your hands went from gripping his arms to tangling in his hair, tugging lightly at the crimson strands. 

“Haah-ah,” you moaned at a particularly accurate thrust that had his entire length dragging along your clit. “Satori, please.” 

“Oh, fuck,” Tendou sighed into your ear, pushing aside your hair so he could hide his face in the warmth of your neck. “You’re so hot, gonna make me cum in my pants. Keep making those pretty noises for me, sweet thing.”

You nodded along eagerly, pulling his head away from your neck so your could attach your lips again. Steady thrusts began to lose their rhythm as both of you got closer to completion. Tendou let out a throaty groan, wrapping his lean arms around you tightly so he could rub his hard-on against your core with more force. 

“Satori, ah!” You cried out at the stimulation. 

He clashed his mouth against yours messily, teeth clicking while he gasped against your lips. 

“M’ close,” he clenched his eyes shut. 

“Me too, me too,” you whined, hips writhing up against his desperately. “Satori!” Tendou practically growled at that, mouth claiming yours assertively. You shouted his name again while your orgasm wracked through your body, leaving you sensitive and tingly as Tendou chased his own release. He came with a low moan into your mouth, hips rolling gently through the aftershocks. 

When he finally slowed to a stop he went completely slack on top you. Tendou mouthed gently at your neck, fingers petting your hair as you both caught your breath. You released his hair and unclenched your stiff fingers a few times before wrapping your arms around his shoulders. 

Curious hands slowly pushed beneath your shirt, tenderly exploring your body while Tendou continued to leave lazy, open-mouthed kisses on your neck. His handsiness didn’t bother you since you were also busy tracing the muscles of his back. 

You whined when he landed another quick kiss before pushing off of you. 

“I gotta clean up,” he said, darting down to kiss you again. 

That reminded you of the uncomfortable dampness in your own pants so you got up as well. You found a pair of sweatpants that he could fit into from your brother and set them by the bathroom door for him. By the time you came back from changing he was already lounging in your bed again, your brother’s sweatpants an inch or two too short  above his ankles. 

Tendou’s expression brightened when you walked in, his eyes wide to match his grin as you climbed in to lay next to him. He was quick to wrap his arms around you again. 

“Well?” He asked. 

“Hmm?” You responded, face pressed against his shoulder. 

“What are we now?” He leaned back so he could see your face. 

You stretched languidly, tossing a leg over his hips and an arm over his chest before responding. 

“What do you want this to be?” 

“I want you to be mine,” he answered honestly. 

“Then I’m yours,” you said simply, kissing the hinge of his jaw. 

“My girlfriend,” he said adoringly, twisting to his side so you were facing each other.

You laughed softly, letting him cup your cheeks so he could pull you into an unhurried kiss. His tongue pressed past your lips to sweep along your teeth and slide hotly against yours. 

“I’m pretty great at apologies, huh?” He boasted. 

“Oh, shut up,” you groaned, pushing him away by his forehead. 

Tendou let you shove his face away with a quiet giggle before brushing your hand away so he could attack your neck with more kisses. 

“You better not be leaving marks,” you threatened halfheartedly, too caught up in the addicting sensation of his lips on your body to be serious. 

Tendou eyed a particularly red spot, pressing a light kiss to it. “Of course not, baby.” 

“That didn’t sound too convincing.”

“Well… it might fade,” Tendou circled the spot with his finger. “I kinda like it.”

“Satori!”

“Whaaat?” He crooned. “It lets everyone know you’re mine.” 

“Ugh, you creep,” you murmured, accepting a soft kiss. 

Tendou giggled cheerfully, squeezing you closer to him affectionately. He left a flurry of kisses across your cheeks and nose, sighing happily. 

“I love this,” his hands roved over your body. “Getting to touch and kiss you as much as I want.” 

“Mm, me too.”

Tendou’s lean body was beautiful, so was his blush when you informed him of this. He groaned and hid his face in the crook your neck. 

“I’m serious!” You insisted, pulling his face from your neck so you could look at him.

“I know you are, thank you,” he mumbled, avoiding your eyes. 

“Aww, are you embarrassed?”

Tendou scoffed. “Tch, of course not. I’m a catch, a total babe.”

Laughing, you let him bite playfully at the hinge of your jaw for a moment before shoving him away so he couldn’t leave another mark. Tendou settled down and was happy to let you brush your fingers through his hair until it lost it’s shape and started to fall over his forehead. 

“Mmm, sleepy,” he sighed, practically purring as you massaged his scalp. 

“Go to sleep then.” 

He hummed, twisting his body until he was on his stomach with half of his body draped over yours. You smiled warmly, of course Tendou was a clingy sleeper. 

[bunny-rambles]

YES!! LET US SHOWER RUE MORE AFFECTION AND KITHS HE SO DESERVE EJSKOAIA 😭😭👍 I love how the way you portayed them, bun!! it was so melancholy to the heart but sweet to the tongue that make it somehow bittersweet but pretty nostalgic for me 😫💖

Also, while I'm reading your latest fic, I was listening to the Reprise version of Part of Your World and Hksysksuso ITS SO PERFECT I WANNA HUG HIM SUSJSJ

That brings me back to my brainrot earlier when i was watching Little Mermaid with my baby cousin susksi like at first he wanted to take everything from albedo to himself, want to be him and do the things that his brother do, but when he met you, he now wanted to do it WITH you 😭👍 instead of being alone. He wanted to be in the sun with you, not in the frigid cold of dragonspine. He wanted to walk hand in hand with you. He wanted you to smile at HIM, not because he was pretending to be Albedo, but because he was Rue. Imagine him contemplating what should he do just to ensure you will stay beside him 😫

What would I give to live where you are? What would I pay to stay here beside you? What would I do to see you smiling at me? Where would we walk, where would we run, if we could stay all day in the sun? Just you and me, and I could be part of your world.

The last verse of the song hit differenly to me because I think here, Rue will at least come in terms that he would want to be a part of your world as himself, not as Albedo or anyone but he himself 😭🖐

I don't know when, I don't know how. But I know something's starting right now. Watch and you'll see, someday I'll be part of your world.

Anyway, forgive my preamble. I have no one to talk to with my brainrots bc im too shy n awkward 😅😅

- lurker anon

Aww lurker, thank you so much for the kind words !! I’m sorry this has taken so long to answer, I wanted to properly respond to all of it instead of doing it when I’m half asleep hehe

But the brainrot really made me smile,,, and yes omg it fits so well for my baby Ruby yesyesyes !!

I was trying to go for a similar idea of Ruby finally focussing on someone else other than Albedo and focusing on an emotion that wasn’t resentment or bitterness.

some ramblings utc

Ruby as Ariel, that’s such a cute idea- their personalities are very, very different but in a way there’s a lot of similarities. Rubedo is probably very curious about the world and ooh, do you think he collects things he comes across in Dragonspine? I can see him having a collection of interesting things he finds, like the random diaries hidden around in the snow, or maybe some crystals he found pretty enough to keep.

He’s also very outcasted from society, just like Ariel was but she chose that (I felt that- people are exhausting sometimes), with Ruby it’s kind of forced upon him- he’s invested in so many ideas going on in his head he’s not realising what he’s missing, or that the empty feeling in his chest isn’t caused by Albedo, but by how the only person in his life decided to throw him away. Lonely - he feels lonely. He’s been abandoned for so long he’s forgotten what it feels like to be around others. That is, until he meets you.

Ah he probably hates the new, fuzzy feeling in his chest at first. He tries to find something to be bitter or pessimistic about you when you’re kind to him, but it’s almost impossible. You’re so sweet to him, it completely throws him off. When had anyone been kind to a failure like him? He secretly hopes you never find out his true origins so he can just live out a perfect fantasy life with you. Around you, he forgets about Albedo, forgets the revenge he’s been planning - with enough time, on some days he completely forgets he was an experiment in the first place.

You make him feel alive, human even. Sure, he can still be stuck in his stubborn pessimistic ways (again, I felt that - maybe I’m projecting a little too much) but with you, there’s happiness for him. And even the smallest amount is enough for him.

On a more personal note - I love Ariel !! She has her flaws but she’s s pretty solid Disney princess (and we’re both curious red heads heh) but she’s extremely positive while I believe it’ll take a hell of a lot of healing for Rubedo to even think of something in a more brighter way. He’ll get there, don’t worry !! He’s got you, of course <3

[egcdeath]

act natural

pairing: steve rogers x reader

summary: sometimes, you just have to share the bed. 

word count: 2.4k

warnings: fluff, sharing a bed, idiots in love, cheesy

a/n: this is really just an excuse for me to write a lot of self indulgent bants, but it’s also a part of @stargazingfangirl18’s soft!dark challenge, and i decided to write something soft and use the prompt of only having one bed! (p.s. i like did not edit this at all so if a few words are used a lot pls forgive me) 

Dinner at the safehouse was finally wrapping up after a long day of getting your ass beat by an angry android and a few enhanced teenagers. You and everyone else around you seemed to be more than exhausted from the extensive day of revisiting deeply repressed traumas, and petty arguments between teammates over who was truly at fault for every predicament you found yourselves in.

You took a long and final swig from a beer bottle, glancing up to Bruce and Nat as they stood up and pushed in their chairs, retiring for the night. 

“Thanks for hosting us, Laura,” Natasha offered, grabbing her plate from the dinner table, and dropping it off in the dishwasher.

“Of course, guys. Any time,” she gave a half smile to her friend, then looked back at the table, where everyone else had taken the memo, and found themselves somewhere in the process of leaving the table, or grabbing their dishes, “but before you all go, I wanted to warn you that someone else is gonna have to share a room tonight.”

You glanced over at Steve, who was on your left, and Tony, who was sat at the head of the table. You and Steve shared an awkward chuckle at the thought of being in the same bed, not even considering the similarly uncomfortable situation of sharing a bed with Tony. 

“I think I’ll be rooming alone. These two lovebirds can share,” Tony chided before either of you even had a chance to think of a response. You looked back over at Steve, whose cheeks were currently dusted with a light shade of pink, and the bigger man quickly looked away from you.

“Tony, you know we are not- you know what, nevermind,” you huffed, deciding the argument was not worth it. 

Tony shook his head as he dropped his dishes off in the dishwasher. “So no objections?” he asked teasingly, eyeing you both with a smirk on his way back from the kitchen. “Why am I not surprised?” You could’ve sworn you heard Clint and Fury laughing to themselves before excusing themselves from the table, and dispursting though the house.

Besides the slight humiliation of being teased for your situation, you weren’t too concerned about the act of spending the night, or next few nights with Steve. You and Steve were friends, or something like that. Just a few pals with crushes that you refused to admit to each other (or yourselves).

Pushing this thought aside, you grabbed the neck of your empty beer bottle, along with a few pieces of silverware and marched off to the mechanical cleaner yourself. You dropped off the things that needed to be cleaned, tossed your bottle in the recycling bin, then went to turn away when Steve grabbed your arm, automatically catching your attention. 

“Is this okay with you?” He asked, letting his vice grip on your arm go.

“It’s fine. I’ll see you upstairs,” you muttered before speeding off, and heading upstairs where you strolled into the only vacant room, with the door wide open, and both your own and Steve’s duffle bags on the floor. 

You made a mental note to thank whoever brought them in (probably Laura), and dug through your bag to find something even slightly comfortable to sleep in, eventually settling on an oversized shirt and your favorite cotton shorts. 

You had just barely finished changing in the tiny closet when you heard the soft click of the room door, notifying you of Steve’s arrival. You slid open the closet door, and made a beeline for the bed, flopping onto the left side, and reaching for your phone as a distraction. 

“Do you want me to sleep on the floor?” Steve asked, searching through his own bag until he found the only clean comfortable pair of pants he had in there, that just happened to be a jokey Christmas gift donned with a red white and blue color scheme, and graphics of mini shields on it.  

“What the hell, Steve. Of course not,” you set your phone down so that you could get a better look at him. “We probably have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.” You could live with that excuse, especially considering that it would not be very becoming of you to tell your crush that missing an opportunity to sleep in the same bed as him feels like a federal crime. 

He stood up from his squatting position, squeezing into the tight space of the closet so that he could change into the corny pants, and finally get out of his clothes from the day, “I just didn’t want to make things weird.”

“Well, they won’t be as long as you stay on your side, okay?” You said petulantly, setting two pillows across the middle of the queen sized bed and attempting to ignore the excited butterflies in your stomach. 

“I will,” Steve responded, exiting the closet slipping into the right side of the bed cautiously, and looking at the wall that was facing him.

You glanced over at Steve, and when you caught wind of his shirtless torso, you couldn’t help but to look away with a warm face,“this is so awkward now,” you said after a beat. “Why couldn’t you have roomed with Tony?”

“Tony is the worst bed mate ever. Total blanket and pillow hog,” Steve chuckled, attempting to ease up some of the tension.

“You’re no saint either. I’ve heard you’re a cuddler,” you bantered back, allowing yourself one more glance at the man. Steve seemed to be having the same thought as you at the same time as you, as your eyes briefly met. 

It was uncomfortably silent in the room once more, and you reached over to your nightstand to turn off the bedside lamp, “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Night, Steve,” you turned your back to the border of pillows, fell into a fetal position, and squeezed your eyes shut, hoping that you’d be able to find some sort of peace after such a bizarre day. You tried not to dwell so much on the horrors you’d been forced to face earlier, and instead relied on the rhythmic breathing coming from the man next to you to ground you.

----

You weren’t sure when exactly you fell asleep, but a jolting of your bed, and a bit of a commotion coming from somewhere in your room pulled you away from your unsettling dreams.

Blinking yourself awake, you uncurled your body, and rolled over to look at Steve, whose legs were thrown over the edge of the bed while he panted heavily.

“Steve?” you slurred sleepily, “you ‘kay?”

“’m fine,” he yawned.

“Well you woke me up,” you mumbled, throwing your head back against a pillow.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I was having a shitty dream anyway.”

“Really? I was too,” Steve refused to look at you, staring blankly at the wall.

“So tell me about it,” you hummed.

“It’s just… I keep thinking about how I missed out on so many things from the past. I could’ve been happy, living out my days in a semi-peaceful and familiar world. Not anything like this.”

You sat up as you listened, pushing aside a pillow from the border you’d constructed to move closer to Steve and set a reassuring hand on his back.

“I guess I just wish that I was there. With everyone and everything I used to know.”

“But it’s not all bad, right?” you offered, and Steve shrugged before looking down. 

 “I’m sorry. I really am. I know that I’ll never truly understand that, but there’s nothing any of us can do about it now. You’re here now, and you have no other choice but to make the best of it. I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but if you spend all of your time in the present lamenting about what things could’ve been in the past, you’re just gonna be miserable forever,” you rambled sleepily, words slurring occasionally. 

“Your experience is so unique, so I could be getting this all wrong, but there are plenty of good things here in the now. I mean, a world without the internet? I don’t know if that’s a world worth living in,” you chuckled softly, and were joined in your quiet laughter by the man on the other side of your bed.

“Seriously, though. I know you can’t control your dreams, but maybe your subconscious is letting you know that it’s okay to let go. Of like, the past. It might just be time for you to move on and be happy. I’m sure that Peggy and everyone else from your past would’ve wanted that for you too.” In the dark, you saw the silhouette of Steve’s head nodding. 

“You always know what to say, huh?” he asked, kicking his legs back over onto the bed while you scooted back over into your previous space. 

“I’m like half asleep right now, Steve. If you asked me to repeat half of what I just said, I would not know what to say,” you giggled. 

“You wanna talk about your dream?” Steve asked in a concerned tone. 

“Mmm, I actually just wanna go to sleep. As crazy as that may sound,” 

“Is there anything that I can do to help you not have another bad one?”

“Hmmm,” you pondered, becoming a bit more lethargic by the moment. “Spoon me?”

“As you wish,” Steve happily obliged, grabbing one of the pillows from the middle of the bed and adding it to his stash of pillows. 

You threw a pillow from the border between your knees, and received a strange look from Steve. “What? I heard it’s good for your back.” He still didn’t seem convinced. “Stop being so judgy and cuddle me already,” you murmured, turning your body so that you could lay on your side.

Steve scooted closer to you, and you pressed your back to the front of his chest. He tossed an arm over you and somehow managed to pull you even closer to him. You swore you hadn’t been this comfortable since you left the womb, and you nearly purred in response. 

“Can I make a request?” he asked.

You simply nodded.

“Can we just… talk until we fall back asleep?” 

“That’s really cute,” you mumbled into your pillow. 

“You just have a relaxing voice!” he defended playfully.

“You are such a dork,” you giggled. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Just tell me about… I dunno, anything.”

“That was so helpful, Steven.”

“My bad. Tell me about your favorite… mission?”

“Mm, probably that one time you and I had to go undercover for like a month to bust that arms dealer.”

“Which one?”

“Some dude in the Midwest. Can’t remember his name.”

“Oh yeah, yeah I know who you’re talking about.”

“It was fun being your life partner for a month. We were really good at being domestic.”

“Hmm, now that I think about it, we really were. Do you remember that cookout?”

“Of course I do,” you laughed at the memory. “Everyone else was getting so drunk, but you just… couldn’t. They were like Joseph, you’re such a beast, and shit. And who would’ve guessed that you, the old timer would be such a beast on the grill.”

“Well, who would’ve guessed that you were so good at cornhole?”

“Was I really that good? Or were you just really bad? Like really bad, especially for someone whose skill set revolves around having good aim,” you teased.

Steve scoffed and laughed, shaking his head at you. 

“How didn’t those people recognize us? I just don’t get it.”

“You’d be surprised how much a beard and dyed hair can change your look.”

“I guess,” you sighed softly, and set a hand on top of Steve’s. “Does this feel counterproductive to you? We’re just sitting here giggling. We’re probably getting less tired.”

“I guess I am less tired. But I’m also not thinking about the impending robot apocalypse.”

“Well now that you brought it up, I’m thinking about the impending robot apocalypse. You better fix this, Rogers.” Emboldened by what must’ve been the butterflies in your stomach falling asleep, you began to roll a bit in his arms so you were facing each other, kicking away the pillow between your legs in the process. 

“How can I make it up to you?” Steve asked, raising a brow.

“You’re the man with a plan, right? Think of something,” your lip quirked slightly in a smirk.

Steve leaned in just the smallest amount, before a lightbulb seemed to go off in his head. “I got it. We can do one of those one word stories until we fall asleep.”

Well, that’s not exactly how you thought this moment was going to go. 

“Okay, I’ll start then,” you nodded, pressing your head down against a soft pillow, and looking up at Steve, “once.”

“There,” Steve added.

“Was.”

“A.”

“Death-bot,” you giggled. 

“Okay, Y/N. No. No more stories. We can just listen to each other breathe now until we fall asleep like before since you wanna ruin the mood.”

“What mood? And you listened to me breathe?”

“What else was I gonna listen to?” he furrowed his brows, “it’s too late for this anyway. We can talk in the morning.”

“All you had to do was tell me that it’s way past your bedtime, and I would be understanding. But goodnight anyway, Stevie,” you cracked him one last smile, not budging from your position as you closed your eyes. 

It was silent for a few minutes before Steve whispered up out of the blue, “you still awake?”

You slurred something into the pillow, much more asleep than awake. 

“Well, I really like you a lot. Maybe one day I’ll get the guts to tell you that when you’re not completely out of it.”

You grunted as a response, and Steve couldn’t seem to wipe the grin off his face, not while he was falling asleep, and certainly not during his rather pleasant dreams.

——

You just couldn’t seem to catch a break with your wake up calls. While you and Steve seemed to sleep through the rapping against the door, and the door itself opening, you both seemed to become aware after the artificial shutter of an iPhone camera flooded through your ears.

“You guys just looked so cute, I wanted to archive this moment for the rest of time. And I’m sure the team will be glad to see that you got along well last night,” Nat teased as your eyes widened and you shot up. “Breakfast is ready downstairs, by the way.”

Well, you two were going to have a great time explaining this one. 

[proserpina-magnus]

hi🥺 I’ve got a super cheesy request, but whatever haha can I request a one shot James x fem reader where she is really really stressed all the time over really small things that may not even happen and James tries to calm her down and remind her that everything is going to be alright?

Oh and I just wanted to say that your writing brings a lot of comfort in my life. Thank you so much and you have a real gift for writing!!!💞

Thank you so much for your request, also im gad my writing can bring you comfort!! This was an awesome request to write and i hope you enjoy this!

Distress [ James Potter ]

Word Count: 1812

[ Warning: female reader, stressful/intrusive thoughts, worrying, James Potter being a dork, Kissing, description of distress and panic, slight mention of blood/bruises, petnames such as "love" "baby" and "princess", napping together ]

You flip onto your back, the sheets and pillows under you. You fussed messily, limbs sprawled out on the bed as you try and stop yourself from yanking your hair out. Recently, your thoughts had been consuming your mental state to a point where all you could do was worry about it.

You try and get dressed, brushing out your hair in a small rage as you felt a tangle of hair. You almost broke down crying at the small inconvenience, but you sighed unhappily and slipped on Jame's jumper. The jumper felt huge, it enclosed you with warmth and the slight smell of Jame's cologne filled your nose.

You sighed in relaxation, finding some peace in the jumper. You kept thinking about James, smiling as you fixed your outfit. Once you had finished, a small thought crossed into your head. 'What if your shoes are untied and you fall?'

The small thought made you spiral, walking down the steps carefully with your eyes glued to your shoes. You kept glancing at them, not looking away from them as you made your way to the dining hall.

"There's my girl," Jame's voice rose to catch your attention, you looked up from your shoes and let them look into James's comforting stare.

"Good morning," you mumbled, sliding in between Sirius and James as you felt a strong arm wrap around your side. James pulled you into a side hug, kissing your forehead gently.

"Morning my love, did you sleep well?" He asked, helping you fill your plate with breakfast foods. You leaned your head on his shoulder, a stronger scent of his cologne filling your senses. You relaxed slightly, escaping your thoughts for a hot minute.

"I slept okay," you sighed, remembering how you couldn't fall asleep until late in the night because of your cautious thoughts.

"Only okay? That's not good, how about after class you go and take a nap in my dorm?" James suggested, his hand on your jaw as he tilted your face up to look at him. His worried eyes looked over your face, seeing how tired you looked.

"I'm fine James, promise," you assured half-heartedly, you remembered you had a small quiz in Transfiguration. The thoughts started instantly, abruptly like bombs as they piled you with terrible thoughts. 'What if you failed? What if all the studying was for nothing?'

"Okay, if you're sure. You wanna hear about the new broomstick that is coming out?" James asked, a small sigh on his lips as he knew you weren't exactly telling the truth. James was aware of your stressful demeanor, he tried his best to distract you, but it seemed to be doing the opposite.

"Sure," you say, listening to him ramble for the next few minutes about the broomstick. You listen mostly to what he says, but his words don't make sense to you. You just nod and ask questions, finishing up your breakfast.

'What if he gets hurt next quidditch match?' The thought was hurting your head, making you gulp. Jame's loved quidditch, but it was such a competitive sport, it scared you sometimes.

You fixated on the thought, your mind flashing with images of James bleeding and bruised, your heart started to race. James was easy to read your expression, his hand on your knee to give it a quick rub for reassurance.

"You okay love?" He asked, you gave a small nod and grabbed his hand with yours. You squeezed his fingers pretty tightly, not wanting to let go in case he left and got hurt.

"I'm okay," you say, but James doesn't believe you. He lets you hold his fingers, giving you a small smile. He kisses your head, leaning down to whisper a small, "nothing going to happen, princess,"

"You don't know that," you tell him, leaning closer to him as everyone around you gets ready to head to class. You quickly move away, standing and flattening your outfit so it wasn't crumpled.

James follows, along with his other friends as you all began to walk to your first class. James pulls you back slightly, making you both walk slower so everyone walks ahead.

"What are you worrying about? I promise you I can debunk it," James promised, his fingers wiggled between yours as he started to swing your hands together. He slowed his pace, making sure that he was walking at your rhythm.

"What if my shoes get untied and I fall? And what if you get hurt during a quidditch game?" You say, not believing that he could possibly find a way to fix your thoughts. But James only smiled and pulled you to the side, stopping near an open area.

"Sit on the ledge," he says, helping you up on the ledge. You watched him crouch down, giving your knee a small kiss.

"Well, I can help your first worry, I can simply just cast a spell to make sure your shoes stay tied," James chuckled, a wide smile on his face as he beams up at you. He takes out his wand, muttering a small spell as he taps your shoes.

"And the second worry?" You asked, happy that you had someone to soothe your thoughts. You felt a lot better at the small spell James casted, feeling safe.

"Lucky for you, I'm the best at quidditch, so if I was to get hurt, it would totally be on purpose," James said with a cocky smirk, leaning up to kiss you gently. You pushed yourself onto your feet, leaning into his body to get closer.

"And I can assure you, love, I will never deliberately put myself in pains way when it comes to quidditch," He muttered against your lips, pushing his fingers along yours. He brought your hand to his lips, giving it a small kiss.

"Only quidditch?" You asked, wondering if James would hurt himself for the greater deed. Sometimes, you thought that James was too forgiving and daring, he would do anything for the people he loved. It made you worry.

James didn't respond, looking at you with soft eyes as he debated his response. He knew he wouldn't lie, so he simply pulled you along the corridor.

"Come on love, let's get to class," James says, as you both head to Transfiguration, you remember the quiz you had and started to panic slightly. The stressful thoughts beginning again.

"What if I fail the quiz?" You asked him frantically, changing the subject to another of your worry's. You felt a small dread at the fact James would hurt himself for the greater good, but you knew you couldn't change him, so you simply sighed and tried not to think about it. Your brain focused on the quiz, images of failing grades flashed through your head. You bit your lip, chewing on it anxiously.

"We studied all yesterday! There is no way you will fail, you're just too brilliant," He assured, kissing your head as you both settled into your chairs. You looked at him, not believing his words. James only gave you a generous smile, he knew you would pass the quiz.

"Hey, even if you do super bad, which you won't! Your grade won't change that much, it's only worth 10 points, it won't affect anything!"

Realizations hit you, making you relax in your seat. James was right, the quiz wasn't even worth that much and you both did study. You could recite the whole transfiguration textbook back to front, there was no way you could fail.

You felt a strong wave of proudness wash over you, there wasn't any possible way you would fail. Confidence filled your veins, a proud smile on your lips as you shared it with James. He only smiled back, mouthing a small 'I believe in you' and that was enough for you to believe his words, you wouldn't fail.

During the quiz, you felt like you were answering every question wrong. You kept crossing out answers then filling them in again. Your page was a mess, full of scratches and messy words. You sighed quietly, your forehead pressed into your hand.

You finished anxiously, passing in the paper. You bit the inside of your cheek, knowing that you couldn't have possibly passed. You almost felt like crying when the thoughts kept pouring into you, the day hasn't even started yet and you were completely exhausted.

"See, it wasn't that bad!" James says while you both walk to Potions, but you only shake your head and hold back stressed tears. James frowns, rubbing your forearm as he pets your head, he tried his best to soothe you.

"Oh love, there isn't a need to shed tears over it! You probably did great," James tells you, you both walk into the potions classroom, settling down near a desk in the back.

"No James, I didn't! I'm going to fail the quiz, I kept scratching out my answers! I didn't know anything," you quavered, feeling emotionally drained.

James picked up on your struggle, a frown on his lips as his hand came to pat your thigh. You let your head fall against the desk hard and you hear James wince at the sound, his hand on your back.

"After this class, I'm going to take you to my dorm and you can get some sleep okay?" James stated, rubbing your back gently as he watched you with saddened eyes. James wished he could take away your stressful thoughts, he hated seeing you worry.

"I'm fine," you lied, not even trying to cover up your obvious distress.

"No you're not princess, and that's okay. But you have to take care of yourself," James worries himself, his hands twitching. You look up at him through your eyelashes, heaving a small sigh.

"Okay," you mumble and the class continues. The hour passes slowly, James doing most of the classwork as he lets you lean against him. The only thing keeping you from spiralling and having a mental breakdown is James kissing your forehead periodically and his sweet words.

Your eyes blur for a few moments as you let James lead you through Hogwarts. You don't remember how you got here, but you laid in James' embrace, his hands in your hair as his warm blankets swallows you in sleepiness.

"What if I sleep through my next class?" You asked, your body twitching as you move to get a comfortable position. You felt tired, but thoughts kept your attention.

"I'll stay awake, I'll make sure you get to class on time," James kisses your head, his fingers massaging your scalp in a wonderful motion. You lay completely into James's body, letting your eyes close.

"Go to sleep baby. I've got you now," James whispered, you felt your nerves relax. Before you knew it, you fall asleep against his chest, curling yourself closer to your protector.

[fa-headhoncho]

Untitled TFATWS Fic: Part 3

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Prompt/Background: After turning yourself in to the government following the events of CA:TWS, they lock you up for the crimes you committed during your time at Hydra. Spending years there until Captain America got you on parole during the blip to help fight Thanos. Now, after doing community service acts and helping the broken society, when they give the new Captain America the shield, you’re thrown back into a life you didn’t want.

Word Count: 2058

Reader: Female

Warning: parole officers? canon level violence, john walker

Author’s Note: im being lazy and not writing rn but i have a stock pile of fics so get ready for shitty posts :p

Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

=====

Once you get onto the plane, you don’t hold back your emotions. The fight was enough but how Walker talked to Sam and Bucky on the car ride over sent you over the edge. You had to admit, the kid had good intentions but there was something about him that was off.

You don’t even wait for his private jet to lift off before turning to him and pinning him against the nearest wall. Your forearm was laying across his chest while the other was hovering over the knife clipped onto your hip. His managers and friend stand up, rushing to try to pry you off of him but he raises a hand to stop them. “Who the hell do you think you fucking are, huh?”

“Captain America.” He simply responds, looking at down you with a cocky smile. You let out a scoff, the audacity of this man. “Look, I didn’t know that you knew them.”

“Yes, you did.” You exclaim while your forearm digs into his chest, “You read my parole reports, it shows where I spend my time and who I talk to, Bucky and Sam being the main two who I interact with. They’re my friends and you’re using me as a pawn. Steve wouldn’t have done that, Captain America wouldn’t have done that.”

“You talk about looking up to him but you’re nothing like him. You throw around ‘brother’ like it means nothing, you have no idea what those two have gone through with Steve. You hold the shield like it’s a toy and using it to get what you want.” Your voice is menacing low and you knew if you still had your parole officer that he would be scolding you for it.

“Captain America stood up for the little guys but you’re just using it as a title, abusing it to act like the hero you tried to be before. You’re a fucking joke.” You release him and walk away. The air in the room felt tense as you plop down on the chair closest to the exit, furthest away from his management team who didn’t know what just happened.

“If you think I’m going to stand by your side after how you just treated my friends, you’re dead fucking wrong.” You shake your head and lean forward in your seat.

He lets out a chuckle, taking a step towards you with his hands fisted by his side. “You’re going to help me if I say you are. I say the words and you’re locked back in the goddamn cell where you belong. Remember who brought you here in the first place.”

“Hey, John, calm down.” Hoskins finally buds in. Walker scoffs and shakes his head, following him to join the rest of their team.

You shift your eyes to the floor, knowing he’s right. The power the government is giving their new Captain is a desperate attempt to give hope to those after the Blip. It’s going straight to his head and you knew it was going to get worse in the long run.

The rest of the flight is awkward. The tension never settling even if Walker acts like nothing just happened. Hoskins was keeping a close eye on you like you were going to bounce back to your Hydra days and take out everyone on the plane. To be fair, you wanted to but you weren’t stupid and you didn’t want to give him another reason to send you back.

Once the plane touches down, you’re out the door. The group was barely out of the seats before they could see you disappear into the airport. Haling a cab and taking it back to the apartment they were renting for you, changing out of your gear and plopping down onto the bed.

The events of the day finally collapse down onto you. This situation was going to be a lot harder than you originally thought. Walker explained it as just one mission to see where the Flag Smashers were taking the stolen vaccines and you would be on your way. “Free at last” to use his words but now you were roped in for the long haul.

You couldn’t stop thinking about the look of betrayal on Bucky’s face either. He had confided in you about how he felt about the new Captain and how lost he felt. If Steve wasn’t right about Sam then what the hell was wrong with Bucky?

Before you realize it, tears were streaming down your cheeks. You knew it was too early to try to reach out to them so you decide to give them time. They were still processing their interactions with the new Captain and the new information about the Flag Smashers being super-soldiers.

If you were going to have to work with Walker, you were going to have to figure out a plan. Racking your brain for ideas, one comes to mind that would be risky. It would be worth it, though. Staring up at the ceiling, you start strategizing a way you could pull this off. You were one of Hydra’s best agents so hopefully, this would be easy. After going against your original thought and shooting Sam a quick text, you slowly drift off asleep.

=====

Your leg bounces under the table as you stare at the clock above the door. It was half-past seven and the breakfast rush was winding down. The diner was slowly emptying, leaving a hand full of tables with families and friends enjoying their meal. The waitress comes up to your booth, standing there until you notice her.

“Ready to order yet, hun’?” The nice older lady questions, breaking your gaze from the entrance to her. You shake your head no before turning back to the door. She gives you a sad smile before looking down at her watch, “It’s been almost twenty minutes, sweetie, are you sure your friends are still coming?”

You nod quickly, no matter what kind of circumstances the two soldiers would never stand you up. Their hearts were too kind for that. “I was just a bit early, I’m kind of nervous.” You shyly admit, sending her a smile.

“Well, I’m bringing you something to eat at least,” She commands, you open your mouth to reject but she cuts you off, “on the house.” She gives you a firm look before walking off to the back.

Right as she disappears into the kitchen, the bell of the diner dings. Your head snaps to it and you can’t help the large smile that appears on your face at the sight of the duo walking in. The two immediately see you since you placed yourself right near the door.

Sam sends you back a smile while Bucky just eyes you down. You were wearing a simple sweater and pants while they were in their usual civilian gear, a ballcap and jacket. You couldn’t help but ogle at how good Bucky looked in the blue Hently you two bought when he first came to Brooklyn.

They slip into the booth, their broad figures barely fitting on the small seat. Sam elbows Bucky as he tries to get comfortable but he doesn’t acknowledge it.

“Morning.” You try to make conversation. “How was the rest of your day yesterday?”

“He got arrested.” Sam bluntly says making your jaw drop. “He missed his check-in with the shrink.”

“I told you not to tell her.” Bucky makes out through clenched teeth, he just shrugs in response. You go to scold him but he holds a steady hand out, “You can yell at me all you want later, what do you want? We don’t have much time.” Your heart drops with how aggressive he’s being towards you.

“I want to help you.” You announce, ignoring Bucky’s eye roll as he remembers who you’re working with. He goes to tell you off just like he told Walker but you start rambling before he could utter a word, “I know it’s not the ideal situation but Walker wants me on his team. If I could earn his trust and figure out what their plans are, I can report back to you two.”

“And how do we not know this is a setup?” Sam points out, leaning forward on the table as Bucky looks around the diner for any sign of said Captain America, “They could be listening right now, they still have you under lock and key.”

You gleam at the mention of that, realizing that you haven’t told them the good news. “Not anymore.” You extend your leg out from under the table for Bucky to see your naked ankle. “Walker pulled some strings to get me off my parole earlier.”

A look of realization comes across Sam’s face once he pieces everything together. He knew how mad you were about the new Captain America, how you helped him and Bucky against the Smashers instead of the other two, and how you didn’t know anything about Bucky getting arrested made sense.

“So, you made a deal with the devil.” Bucky snarkily questions, a look of disappointment on his face.

You let out a scoff at his words, “I did what I had to do, James. Not all of us were lucky enough to get pardoned.” You spit back, tired of how he was acting. “He tricked me, told me it was just one simple favor to repay him. Now, he wants me to be a part of his team to take down the Flag Smashers. Told me if I didn’t help that he would send me back to jail and it would reset everything I had accomplished in the last five years.”

Bucky’s eyes soften at your confession, hanging his head in embarrassment at his assumptions. The waitress comes up and sets the small plate of food down in front of you, giving an awkward smile to the boys before walking off.

You let out a sigh, feeling bad for yelling at him. He was being a dick but that didn’t mean you had to be one back to him. He was going through a lot and this was the last thing he needed.

Grabbing the fork, you stare down at the pancakes. “You don’t have to forgive me or anything but just understand where I’m coming from, please.”

They share a look as they silently communicate. Bucky narrows his eyes and Sam tilts his head at him. You look between them as you try to figure out what’s going on.

“I can’t read your mind, cyborg. Use your words.” Sam finally spits out then elbows him one more time, “Will you please scoot over? I’m suffocating over here!”

Bucky sighs and rolls his eyes at his friend. He gets up out of the booth and slips in next to you, using his larger form to push you closer to the window. Your eyes widen in surprise as he slings his arm to rest behind your head. He then takes the extra fork and stabs it into your hashbrowns.

Sam lets out an awe as he watches the two of you eat from your plate, “Don’t you two look so cute.”

“Shut up, Sam.” You both demand at the same time. He raises his hands up in defense, leaning back in the booth with a smug smile on his face. The two of you easily fall into conversation, catching up on things and giggling at the little jokes he was making. Suddenly, after a few moments of silence as the two of you enjoy the meal, you remember what Sam mentioned earlier.

Bucky lets out a little yelp when you send a swift smack to the back of his head, making the hashbrowns he was about to eat fall off his fork. “What the hell was that for?”

“For getting arrested, are you kidding me, James? Do you know what could’ve happened to you? I swear to God, James Buchanan Barnes, you will be the death of me—“ You continue to scold while Sam lets out a booming laugh. Mad at him for being so careless, you poke and prod at his chest but stop when you notice the expression on his face. Your heart can’t handle the way he pulls out his puppy dog eyes and his pouted lip. “Oh, don’t pull that shit with me.”

_____

untitled tfawts fic: @crowleysqueenofhell @mischiefmanaged71 @thewinterrbucky @lizajane3 @ahahafudge @spookycereal-s @a-girl-who-loves-disney @kittengirl998 @ sebby-staan