#I’m going to walk to the gas station and buy a black and mild jazz

[novathebabydinosaur]

I’ve been fairly depressed the past few days and not getting out of bed at all and crying a lot because life is stupid and awful and what if it never gets better? But I know that in a couple days I’ll find some shred of hope and cling desperately to it and I’ll be okay until the next bad day.

My case worker doesn’t know that. She saw someone crying uncontrollably and refusing to make eye contact and saying they see no hope or light or reason to do anything besides lay in bed and wants me to go to a woman’s shelter or a crisis center.

So, maybe I should stop letting the darkness entirely win and I’ll go outside even though I really don’t want to nor do I think it will help at all. But I also haven’t actually stepped outside the house since Saturday and maybe I should remember there’s more than this room and the birds I want to murder making noise outside the window.