#I’m going to have the most killer ita bag now I just gotta make some buttons and I’m set

[agenttexsflippedshit]

I have . . . A Problem.

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA AU [self insert]

Nani the heck is this? read here!

Chapter 4: Fuck my Drag right?

The events of the sports festival unfolded and everyone is being recognized for their feats. Iida has put his feelings for Ita on the back burner as his brother was disabled by the Hero Killer. The internships happened and everyone is coming back from them. 

-Monday, in homeroom with Mimi and Jin-

“Y'all heard about what happened?”

“YEAH! bitch I’m scared”

“Me too, what’s going to happen next?”

“I’m just glad nobody died and that the students are ok”

“you say that because Glasses was one of the students”

“NO ITS BECAUSE I’M THEIR CLASSMATE! I would feel the same if it was you two”

“Aww Ita!” said Mimi and Jin, coming in for the group hug.

The mood changed when Diya sensei came in. He seemed unusually peppy from his usual neutral or gritty moods. 

“Good morning class, lets settle down for some big announcements” he said with a smile that we didn’t trust. “As you all may have heard about the attack and the students involved, due to those incidents, our department has moved some lessons around to have our students more prepared to be ready to defend the others and each other.”

He takes out the syllabus,”if you can take out your syllabus so you can mark the changes” we comply.

“Ok so instead of just working on our semester final project until the marked due date, we also have to do our week long incognito lesson with practice starting Wednesday. In weaponry we’re going over defense and escape for next week. Our licensing exam is still in 2 weeks and the semester final project has been extended to 1st day of 2nd semester.”

I finish the changes and think, wow even we’re affected by all this.

Jin raises his hand

“Yes Matsui?”

“Are also having extra training sessions in prep for the licensing?”

“yes we are! thank you for reminding me” Diya sensei said “For the next 2 weeks, we will be training for most of homeroom and all of weaponry. For the ones that go to other classes, will still go to them and follow their schedule. If you have a free period, you can work on your projects then if you need school resources.”

Jin then looks at us and I knew he was going to claim us 1st before anyone else does. Bold of him to think I’d go with anyone else.

“Now that we have that done, on to the other news!” he said with another smile that made us feel uneasy, “our jumpsuits and gear came in! I’ll give them out in weaponry to see if they need to be re-adjusted. Secondly, we need to discuss the incognito lesson.”

I sit there thinking that it was going to be something like how to not look obviously like a spy/agent. Nope.

“For incognito week, you have to take up a persona and run with it for a full week. You have until Wednesday to come up with your persona along with clothing, makeup and voice pattern” Diya sensei said as straight faced as possible “Rules to adhere to: MUST be opposite sex, 3 different outfits, cause some chaos and keep your stories straight.”

I raise my hand.

“Yes Palma?”

“So this is just like Ru Paul’s Drag Race but we gotta lip sync for our grade?”

“Actually yea, exactly like that. So bring your best drag everyone! If you don’t have a certain part of an outfit or uniform, ask your classmates if you can borrow their’s for the week”

I suddenly love my class so much. We get to creating our personas and in weaponry we get our costumes. Mine thankfully fit and the gear was so cool that I could hardly keep my eyes off them. We get ear pieces and voice changers that fit right on the molars. I changed mine to make my voice a believable mezzo-tenor male voice. I then remembered I still have to go to my hero class and asked if I need to give them a fair warning before I show up in full boy drag. Diya sensei basically said that he’ll tell Aizawa but I don’t have to tell the class if I don’t want to. The cause some chaos rule is a free get out of jail card for us for that week, we can do anything but physical damage to property.

-Wednesday in Homeroom-

“AHHHH! I’m so excited!” I said to Jin “I can’t wait to show y’all my drag! I got a wig and everything!”

“I got fake hair buns and brought a dress for my extras, I already have some fem features” said Jin “did you bring the makeup?”

“yee yee, can’t wait to make you look sparkly and cute!”

Mimi walks in with their stuff.

“Sorry I’m lowkey late, the upperclassman that I asked to borrow their uniform pants was running late” said Mimi out of breath.

We started class and turned in our persona sheet to sensei and then we got into full drag. Jin was one of the cutest girls, persona name: Deez Natsu. Mimi was an ok looking dude, persona name: Suka Raboski. I looked more like an edgy boy, persona name: Takeshi Tboone.

“wow takeshi, thats a choice”

“Oof Suka I can see your lace”

“Y’aint at my level dawgs!” 

We go through the rest of weaponry and walk out looking like completely different people. I get my things and sensei wishes me luck on fooling them.

-in the hero course classroom, before I arrive-

“Iida-kun, how is your brother doing?” asked Midoriya

“He’s doing better but it looks like he can’t walk”

“oh my, sorry if I brought up a sensitive topic”

“no it’s alright, you deserve to know”

Denki butt in “so Iida, are you going to ask Palma-san to a date today? Or am I going to steal your girl”

“Oh please, if you asked her out again, she’d give you another atomic wedgie but off the flag pole!” chortled Uraraka.

“tch just tell her already four eyes!” said Bakugo “I’m getting sick of hearing about her”

“I don’t think I can! I have too much on my mind already and I can’t manage a relationship on top of it all” said Iida.

“Bold of you to assume she’ll say yes” said Kirishima under his breath.

“Kirishima thats rude!” Mina said in defense.

I then walk in, with my bag slung over my shoulder, fuck boy posture and sunnies on. I had my stories in check, I copied some 2nd year’s elasticity quirk (my brother’s quirk that I can maintain for 5 hours with mastery) right before I went to class. So if anybody is gonna try me, I got me.

“Um excuse me, but who are you?” asked Shoji as I sat down.

“yea and that seat is already taken by Palma-san!” said Momo, ready to fight.

“tuh! That’s no way to treat a transfer, didn’t she tell you?” I said in my best tough guy tone.

“Palma-san didn’t say anything! where is she?! I swear if you hurt her!” said Iida in a demanding tone.

“She’s, not at school at the moment, so you’ll be dealing with me, Takeshi Tboone, American bastard.” I said as slick as I could. It was a true feat not laughing after saying bastard as your title.

“I don’t know why but he’s kinda cute” Hagakure whispered to Asui.

Aizawa sensei walked in and saw my grin and gave me the ‘i know’ look.

“forgot that was today, huh, well be kind to our transfer Tboone.” said Aizawa, also trying not to laugh.

“sensei, where’s Palma-san then?” said Jiro

“Palma-san is at the East-side hero school, on temporary transfer” Aizawa said while looking at the persona sheet I gave them the day before, “If Palma-san likes the other school better, she’ll stay there. And we’ll have Tboone-san for the rest of the remaining years until graduation.”

“why would she want to transfer? This is the top school!” exclaimed Iida.

“I see what she means by aggressive classmates, but I’m tougher!” I said “she doesn’t feel safe here dawg, she feels like everyone is after her and doesn’t like her so you better pray that she’ll crawl back here.” 

Iida started to think that he should’ve never done what he’s done to Ita and convinced himself that it’s his fault that he drove her to transfer. Class goes on and the girls are all over Takeshi, which is bad because I didn’t plan on being an ACTUAL fuck boi. I pack up my things, which are just Jin’s things and Jin has mine, and I hear the delicate tip taps of a ‘girl’ running.

“Takeshi! Here you are my sweet~” said Jin, really playing the part of Deez.

“oh sup bitch come here and give me a little sugar.” I say as I stretch my arm out to grab them by the waist and pulled them into a fake kiss.

“I love it when you kiss me in front of other girls” he said as he gives side eye to the girls of 1-A, “you hear that! HE’S MINE!” as he jumps onto me.

Everyone was in shock, not only was he new but has a girlfriend?! Who the hell was that girl anyways?! Iida gets jealous that it could’ve been him and Ita if he spoke up sooner.

“Hey Tboone-san” said Kirishima with a warm smile.

“oh sup red-san”

“hahaha! The names Kirishima” he said “glad to have you in the class! that other girl was suspicious”

“oh word dawg? bitches be crazy!”

“Yea but you seem like the super manly type! wanna sit with us at lunch?” he said pointing at Bakugo, Sero, Mina and Denki.

“sounds tight! but I did promise my girl that I’d eat with her”

“I made fried rice!” Jin said, almost breaking character because he was really proud of his fried rice.

“Oh alright, maybe tomorrow then!”

“sounds litty, Later Red-san, Pink-san, Mad-san, Pika-san and Office Supply-san” I said while being dragged away by Jin.

“dude what the fuck, this is fucking crazy!” said Jin

“I know! where the hell is Mimi?!”

“That’s where we’re going, she’s swarmed by girls!”

We get to the patio and there they were, surrounded by girls. Mimi looked like they were gonna pass out because of all the pretty ones. I stretch my arms out and picked up Mimi from the circle and ran like hell to the intelligence wing. Jin deployed a portal before the crowd got to us and we portal in a pile inside of the commons room. We laugh a bit about our little tussle then I get a text, it’s Iida,

[Hi Palma-san I didn’t see you today in class and I have to say is that, I’m sorry, really sorry that you don’t feel safe or wanted at this school]

“oof guys look” I say as I show them the text.

“yikes what are you going to tell him?” Mimi said as I get another text, also from Iida,

[I feel responsible for you wanting to transfer. I shouldn’t have forced you to do anything. What can I do fix this? A lot of us prefer you over the transfer.]

“double yikes! a double text!” Jin said with a mouthful of fried rice, then I get another text

[ I know you won’t see these texts until later, but I miss you. Please respond when you can]

Jin and Mimi are looking at me, waiting to see what kind of melodrama I am going to start.

[Iida, I know you feel bad but the truth is, I feel unliked in the hero department. Everyone is pressuring me to be a hero or leave. Can’t I just learn about your culture without being part of it? I miss you too, you’re my only true friend in that class]

“wow Ita, this week is going to be spicy” said Jin.

He was right, everyone liked Takeshi a little more than Ita and hurt a little but the week was almost over. Sunday afternoon and I was getting my outfits ready for the next 3 days and I get a text, it’s Iida,

[Hi Palma-san, sorry if this is so sudden but are you available to spend some time with me? I’m in the area]

Oh jeez what do I say to that?

[Oh sure, where do you want to meet?]

[I can meet you in front of your complex] 

[oh sure! just let me get dressed, let me know when you get here]

I quickly changed into a sun dress, did a low bun and some quick makeup to hide the fact that I partied last night with my class and woke up at 1pm.

[I am here in the front]

[ok, I’ll be right there!]

I teleport to the front and Iida looks at me like I was the most stunning thing on the street.

“Palma-san you look so pretty!” he said as he gave me a tight hug “I’ve missed you dear classmate.” 

“oh! its only been four days.”

“doesn’t matter! point is that I want to spend time with you” Iida said as he released me from his embrace “shall we get going? I saw this cozy cafe that I wanted to check out.”

“Oh I frequent that place! I love it and I think you’d like it too”

As we walk to the place, theres heavy foot traffic. Iida doesn’t have a problem walking through but I was being pushed and falling behind. I reached out to grab his shirt to not lose him in the crowd.

“hm? Oh Palma-san! I’m sorry I didn’t know you were falling behind.”

“Oh I’m alright, I didn’t want to lose you in the crowd.”

“well then, here, take my hand” he said carefully holding mine “so we don’t lose each other”

I didn’t notice but Iida was blushing hard and I was just excited to order some berry tart and a latte. We get to the place and sat at a table where I could face the window and see the people passing by. We talked about Tboone-san and he really didn’t like the guy and I just sat there trying not to laugh. Iida changes the subject,

“So Palma-san, I’ve been thinking” he said as confidently as possible “that we should be honest with each other, now that we’re close”

“um ok, what do you want to know about me?”

“What name do you prefer to be called? What’s your favorite flower? Who do you like at school?-” he kept listing questions but my gaze was over at the window. I saw the boy with the lemon colored hair with his friends pass by and the boy so happened to make eye contact with me and didn’t break it until I was out of sight.

“Ita”

“hm? what was that?” Iida asked confused

“I like to be called Ita, Itati is my full first name but it doesn’t have the ring that Ita has”

“Ita...a cute name for a cute girl” he said and I choked on my latte.

“oh jeez I’m sorry hehe, I’m just not used to compliments like that, they make me uneasy”

“Why?”

“In America, when somebody compliments you like that and the person isn’t close to you, its like a form of bullying” I say as I stare at my latte “so when I got here and I got these compliments, I feared for my life for like two weeks.”

“I had no idea! I’m sorry that I made you feel that” Iida said while chopping his hands “I’ll be more careful”

“oh its alright, I’ll adjust!”

We walk around the area a bit more then he walks me to my complex. He grips my hand a bit tighter as we approach the front.

“hey Ita”

“yeah?”

“Have you decided if you want to transfer to that school?”

“I haven’t actually” I say trying to maintain my stories, “I have until the end of classes Tuesday to say yes or no.”

“Oh I see, it’s just that, I-I” Iida struggled to find his words “I promise to be nicer to you if you come back”

“what-”

“I mean it, I made you cry when we met. What kind of friend am I if I’m the cause of your tears and insecurity?! I’ll be nice, just come back”

I start to tear up, he really thinks its his fault. I let the tears fall, fuck this is dumb. He sees me cry and he panics and stops to wipe my tears. He cradles my face in his hands, if he didn’t make it clear that he wanted to be friends, I would’ve kissed him. 

“Please don’t be sad, I promise to be sweet and kind to you from now on! I want you to feel protected and a cherished part of the school, if everyone is against you, I will be the one to be by your side. Okay?”

I cry even more, I think about how the hell am I going to break it to him that Tboone is just me in full boy drag and I’m not going anywhere. We say goodbye and I teleport in my room. Oof can’t wait for this whole thing to blow over.

-Tuesday, after school in the patio-

I was on my way to usual spot where I’ve been hiding to teleport near my house this week when I see some boys pestering somebody thats leaning against the tree. I get closer and see that it’s Kirishima and Bakugo. uh oh, time to initiate solo operation SAVE THE GAYS.

“yo yo yo! what’s the haps fellas?”

“we found these faggots being gay” said the taller boy of the bunch.

“yeah! we were about to teach them a lesson!” said the gremlin looking one.

“Oh yea? Fellas, allow me to take of this, eye sore.” I say as I put my bag down and stand in front of Kirishima and Bakugo with the other boys on either side of me.

“Tboone-san what the hell? I thought we were cool!” said Kirishima

I give a smirk as I stretch my arms out to the bullies. I give them the ass-whoopin of their life as Kirishima and Bakugo stand and stare how hard I was going. When they had enough, I grabbed them by the collar and said

“If I see any y’all pestering the gays being gays, I won’t hesitate to beat your homophobic asses and chop your dicks off and make you eat them, DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!”

“YES YEA PLEASE NO MORE!”

“good, I’m giving you to the count of 5 to get out of my sight before I give you another serving” I say clenching my fist as I let go of them. They scatter and run like hell before I could start counting.

“Tboone-san, that was so courageous of you.” said a still shocked Bakugo.

“That was the manliest thing I’ve ever seen! Tboone-san, how can we ever repay you?” said Kirishima.

“oh its cool dawg, I was just being a bro” I said as I was picking up my bag “see you later! your secret is safe with me.”

I walk away to my hidden spot and think, wow what a way to be remembered.

-Wednesday, in the hero course classroom-

“Hey Iida, do you think Palma-san is happy?” asked Tokoyami to a very deflated Iida as he stares at the emtpy desk. 

“I don’t know, I poured my sincerity out to her and she sounded unsure.”

“Are you going to be alright Iida-kun?” Uraraka asked worriedly “you don’t look too well.”

“I’ll manage, don’t worry about me”

Class starts and I don’t show up to class because I needed some extra training for my licensing exam. Everybody else thinks it’s because I stayed at the other school and Tboone didn’t like the school. Aizawa knew the truth but didn’t say anything. Class ends and Iida walks to the patio to sit under a tree and ponder his text to Ita.

[Hi Ita, hope your having a good day at school. I need to tell you something important, I don’t care if you don’t feel the same way back. I like you, more than a friend, I’m sorry I didn’t say it earlier. It kills me that you’re not here, I spent most of class staring at your desk hoping you’d teleport in any moment. I was too coward to admit it but it’s obvious now, I have fallen for you. You’re as rare as a desert flower, as sweet as honey, as strong as a crashing wave, as beautiful as ]

he stops typing and deletes his text. He didn’t see the point of pestering her if she already made her choice. Meanwhile Ita is on campus but preparing for her licensing in 2 days. The rest of the school day passes and Iida walks to the parking lot, and to his surprise, he sees a very weary Ita walking to their car.

“ITA! ITA!”

I turn around “who the hell tryna get they ass run over?” I mutter.

I see Iida running toward me, giving me no time to escape, I brace myself for impact. To my surprise he stops before crashing into me and gives me a tight hug.

“Where have you been?! I thought you decided to stay at the other school and I got sad.”

“Oh no! I was doing extra training for my licensing exam, its in 2 days”

“Oh my apologies, is that why you look a bit roughed up?” he said releasing me from the hug.

“yea hehe I was struggling in detonate and defuse” I said as I showed him my bandaged hands “no copy quirking for me for a while.”

He gently took my hands in his, tracing the insides of them with his thumbs.

“In two days you say? Can I have the class see you off?”

“um sure if its ok with sensei, I don’t want to take away class time from yall”

The two days pass and as we were having our luggage check. The Hero 1-A class came out to see me off.

“Do your best Palma-san! We believe in you!” said a bunch of them.

“why is your class so small?” said Kirishima.

“Intelligence course class are the smallest because of the popularity of the course” said Jin “all of us wanted to be in the program and got admitted in without having to do the entrance exam.”

“Yep, even your dear sensei considered joining” said Aizawa “but I really wanted to stick it to the man with my abilities.”

“OOOH! I love your class pet!” Mina said fawning over Zippy the lizard “I wish we had one!”

“Please Mina, with our class, that poor creature won’t survive a day!” said Midoriya.

Our bus arrived and I turn to say bye and I get a tight hug from Iida.

“Be safe Ita, do your best! I’ll miss you”

“I’m only going to be gone for a day and a half!” 

Everyone in the class was motioning Iida to kiss Ita. The kiss didn’t happen but I said my good byes and boarded the bus. The licensing happened at the USJ were we did target shooting, detonate and defuse, rescue the hero, save the citizens, and would you rather life or death edition (like would you rather but with people and guns). The class passes the exam, including Zippy, it was the 1st time in years the whole class passes according to Diya sensei. There was much to celebrate once we got back but on the way to the school, the bus breaks down. Instead of waiting for the repairs, since we were a mile away from school, we pushed the bus all the way to school. We used our quirks and strength to push the bus and everyone on that road stopped to admire our teamwork. When we got to school, we made so much noise hollering that we passed and pushed a whole bus to school, it drew alot of attention to us and anyone within earshot came out to see.

“ok ok everyone lets settle down” said a very tired Diya sensei “Miss Palma, if you teleport in, you can still make it to your hero class.”

“Oh ok are you sure yall don’t need help bringing in stuff?”

“No we have things handled, go! you have 5 mins before it starts”

“got it! Thank you!” 

-Meanwhile in the Hero 1-A classroom-

“I think Palma-san is back” said Denki walking back in the classroom “a group of students are hollering in the front of the school”

“Wonder what happened?” said Todoroki

“Her entire class passed” said Aizawa as he walked in “including the lizard.”

“That damn reptilian passed?” Bakugo said astounded “tch this licensing exam will be a piece of cake if a lizard can pass it!”

Mina raised her hand.

“We aren’t getting a class pet and train it to be a hero for the last time Mina!” said Aizawa at his wits end with the requests for a class pet. “Just because their sensei let them, doesn’t mean I will. Besides, those kids are on another level of smart, that lizard knows how to drive a small vehicle.”

As everything is happening in the classroom, I am too weak to teleport in the room so I teleport in front of the Hero wing and start booking it. As I run, I start to mentally prepare for all the questions and what stories to tell. I get distracted and I run into somebody and I fall back. Fuck I think, this is so embarrassing.

“sorry! I was in a rush! are you-” I start rush apologizing then I saw their face, it was the lemon haired boy. They we’re standing there, looking at me.

“I should be the one apologizing! You’re the one on the floor” he said extending his hand out to help me up “say, aren’t you that American student? From intelligence?”

“Um yes, how did you know?”

“I’ve heard about you and caught some glimpses of you in passing” he said “I am impressed by your accomplishments, I’d love to see you in action”

“oh uh thank you, sorry to cut this short but I have to get to class” I say as I start running again.

“Bye! I hope to talk to you again!” waved the lemon haired boy.

I start to think, he’s cute, I wouldn’t mind talking to him again but who is he? I get to the door and I walk in out of breath.

“Hi, I’m alive” I say as I do a weak spin into a dab.

“Nice track suit Palma-san” said Momo “was it custom made?”

I look at my track suit, it’s a black and orange with my last name on the butt. “oh it is custom but my sister sent this to me to pester me about my big ass” I say as I show everyone the PALMA on the butt in big lettering.

We start class and they announce their licensing exam is also coming up along with their final exams and training at an undisclosed forest campground. Lucky for me, they don’t apply to me but I still train with them when it’s class-time. I notice that Iida wasn’t talking to me or looking at me like he usually does. I wonder what happened while I was gone. Class ends and I pack my bag and think about that boy in the hallway again, can’t believe I didn’t catch his name.

“Hey Ita” said Iida softly 

“Hi, are you doing alright? You look a bit distracted.”

“I’m fine! um do you want to have lunch with me in the patio? I packed food”

“oh sure let me tell Mimi and Jin” I say as I stick my finger in my ear.

“this is Palma, contacting Oleshin and Matsui, over”

“Oleshin on the line/ Matsui on the line, over”

“Requesting a 508, repeat a 508, over”

“Permission granted/permission seconded, over”

“Thank you, have a good lunch, over”

“Wow you got ear pieces?” said Iida in awe

“Yea, we got them for in field practice but will special permission, the school lets the whole program use them to communicate with each other.”

We walk to the patio and sit under a tree. Iida takes out a fairly big tupperware container and hands it to me.

“Here, I made you a fresh treat, because you deserve it”

“oh thank you, you didn’t have to make me anything!” I said shyly

“I insist! You deserve some rest and treats for all your hard work these last few weeks” He said putting the container on my lap “I also have some fresh flowers, dark chocolates and lemon water. All just for you”

He arranges everything around me to set up a peaceful atmosphere. I open the container and I see perfectly cut cucumber, orange and mango with some lime wedges and salt shaker.

“Oh my god! It’s like I’m back home!” I say exclaimed as my mouth watered “you did your research, didn’t you Iida-san?”

“And what if I did? I just wanted to do something nice for you” he said as he closed his bag “you bring me peace during these scary times.”

“oh I see” I say as I start eating some mango “well, I’m glad that I am”

“hm? why?”

“Because, you could be out there, getting hurt again and blinded with rage and revenge. But you’re here, with me, healing yourself from the toxicity of it all.”

“I didn’t think of it that way, I just feel calmer and happier if you’re around me” 

“I feel like I exist to be that peaceful and calm for the people around me” I said reminiscing the calmer times “back home, I brought order and peace in my household. With my friends, I give love and acceptance. And honestly, I haven’t felt like that since I got here but you helped me remind myself of the one thing that defines me. Thank you Iida-san.”

“Call me Tenya”

“Ok then, Tenya, thank you for making me feel cherished and myself again”

In the distance, the Baku-squad are spying through a 2nd floor window.

“I wonder what they’re saying?” said Sero.

“Who cares?! Four eyes is finally saying his stupid feelings to Palma-san” growled Bakugo.

“They’ve been spending alot of time together lately” pondered Kirishima “Maybe I was wrong about her, she might be just a foreigner that barely made it here.”

“huh? Palma-san was still on your suspicion list?” asked Mina “she’s really nice and cool, would a spy be that willing to be friends with us?”

“I still think I can woo her to a date” muttered Denki as he leaned against the wall. 

The day ends and I get home in a happier state of mind. But the difficulty and heart twisting events are fast approaching, and I have to rise to the occasion to get through them. Not just for me, but for the ones that need me.

-End Chapter 4-

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