#I’m fighting for my life out here to not steal the valor of a group I’m not a part of

[eyk-hetaart]

[eyk lore] New York is a giant off-kilter sitcom and everyone is assigned a recurring bit

I don’t like mine

[hobimysun-shine]

bts as billie eilish songs

I love both artist so much because they are so diverse, so driven and in love with their art, so here’s what my mind created at 2am when i actually gotta study for an exam, but anyhow, enjoy

Jeon Jungkook - Ocean eyes 

“Can't stop thinking of your diamond mind Careful creature Made friends with time”

- color scheme: Venice lavender; purple rain; valor blue 

- grey clouds, quiet ocean, salty air, cold sand, bare feet, long sweater, careful wind, watery eyes, 

- angelic, naive, trusting, incapable of stopping emotions

- a feel of uncertainty for the future, because you still have so much to experience in life, it’s hard to know who to trust, where to go and what your tears mean, who you should give them to 

- young love, pain

- it basically speaks of someone who is impressed by another human - love based on instinct and intuition, when you’re young you just feel things, even if you don’t know where these emotions come from (jungkook-namjoon relationship) ; 

- trusting someone by the feeling you get around them, without being able to trust your common sense,

- have you seen jungkook’s beautiful, ocean, doe eyes ?? (if not, then wth you doin’ with your life))

Park Jimin - idontwannabeyouanymore

“I just wish you could feel what you say Show, never tell But I know you too well Got a mood that you wish you could sell

Tell the mirror what you know she's heard before I don't wanna be you anymore”

- color scheme: pale smoke; scotch mist; apple blossom 

- cold air, morning dew, raindrops at the bottom of your window, the fabric softener your mom uses to wash your sheets, soft breathing on the side of your neck, white mirrors 

-  self-persuasion, self-critique, inner conflict, serenity, content, libra’s aesthetic approach

- if you have listened to lie and looked at the lyrics, you know why i chose this song for jimin 

- you basically get the feeling that the person is speaking to himself in this song, trying to find an answer, as to why he puts himself through all these hardships, when he could break free from this vacuum of perfectionism he created for himself

- let’s be real, we all know what jimin had to go through and maybe is still going through with being too harsh on himself, with his body image and his appearance on stage, i hope he is doing well now and is content with himself, cause he is a 100/10 and we all love him so much 

Kim Taehyung - hostage; my boy 

“I wanna be alone Alone with you - does that make sense? I wanna steal your soul”

“ My boy's an ugly crier but he's such a pretty liar”

- color scheme: concord purple; red wine; aurum gold

- big windows, night sky, city view, studio apartment, dark walls, smell of acrylic paint, ripped jeans with that paint splattered on them, acoustic guitars on the walls, quiet jazz music, film paper smoke, deep laughter, strong arms around your waist

- artistic freedom, no fear of judgement, mutual understanding, chest butterflies, assurance, hope, soulmates, in tune with your emotions, who cares if the world doesn’t get us, we get us

- hostage just reminds me of two people, who connect on a soul level so much, that what happens is their love turns into mutual engagement, similar to keeping each other as hostages in their hearts, however i wanted to turn the meaning of that song less toxic for taehyung,, 

- i believe that if there’s a member that would want to connect with people in such level as the song suggests, it would be taehyung

- as for my boy, idk it just gives me a similar base line as in singularity, and i don’t know it’s just probably my fave song of billie and i feel like it is just taehyung’s vibe when i listen to it 

Jung Hoseok - bellyache

“ Everything I do the way I wear my noose Like a necklace I wanna make 'em scared like I could be anywhere Like I'm wreck-less

I lost my mind I don't mind “

- color scheme: marigold yellow; apricot orange; candy red

- summer heat, tan skin, blushed cheeks, endless roads, loose shirts, scratched knees, rich kids away from home, one backpack and a shiny red ford convertible from your bf’s dad’s garage, loud music, lips, swollen from kissing, night fireworks

- fed up with everything, escape from reality, that one summer you will never forget, vibrant love, point of no return, rhythm, gut intuition, boldness 

- i don’t know exactly either, it’s just these are the connections i make when i hear this song, and all of that screams hobi to me (aries moon) 

- also am i the only one who imagines he would make a killer dance routine to that song (but again he could probably dance to a water drops going down a pipe, so,,)

Namjoon - bury a friend; copycat 

“What do you want from me? Why don't you run from me? What are you wondering? What do you know? Why aren't you scared of me? Why do you care for me? When we all fall asleep, where do we go? “

“ Perfect murder, take your aim I don't belong to anyone, but everybody knows my name”

- color scheme: pearl river; silver fox, steel wood

- empty stage, burning projectors slowly being turned off, microphone heavy in your hand, as the words that went though it start to make sense, sweaty hair, footsteps echoing in the vast space, feeling of falling down, unexpected, but comforting hug, security, the calming scent of someone you know in this new environment, tears of fear and excitement at the same time, new life, new beginning

-  words said out loud, revenge, mixed feeling of content and fast approaching emptiness, always racing thoughts, insomnia, trying to fill a void, searching for an overall meaning, 

- so bury a friend is just has all these questions man. they remind me of rm’s mind. i feel like all of them are things he had already asked himself, or themes he implies in his songs too 

- copycat is for namjoon swiftly leading a group that got a ton of criticism in the beginning and is still getting hate, but regardless he manages to stay on top, write what he feels, be a real artist and throw everything people said about bts failing back at their faces 

Min Yoongi - lovely ; you should see me in a crown 

“Oh, I hope some day I'll make it out of here Even if it takes all night or a hundred years Need a place to hide, but I can't find one near Wanna feel alive, outside I can't fight my fear”

“ You should see me in a crown I'm gonna run this nothing town Watch me make 'em bow One by one by, one”

- color scheme: marble white; smoke ember; royal silver;  

- dark room, cold hands, shaky breath, unable to look at each other’s eyes, fear of the outside and the inside, pocket money, long fingers pressing the out-of-tune piano keys, weary smiles, small steps

                                          (....)

 steady hands, marble walls, scent of freshly printed documents, looking through a box of old photo albums your mom sent, turning the pages a larger hand stops you from flipping the next page, two teenagers than look awfully like you two are staring back fearfully, low chuckles, eyes full of love  

- strong minds, growth, stability, strength, control, prosperity, hard work, passion, ambition

- lovely is in here because i feel like it portrays struggles with mental health and depression very well. you feel trapped and you feel like there is no one else who understands your personal hell and you are the only one who has to find a way for yourself to get out of that place. yoongi has been in such places before as we’ve heard from him and his lyrics, so i though lovely represents his struggles when he was younger

- you should see me in a crown. literally that’s all i can say, he worked for his success and he got it and he deserves it and he is killing it right now

- yall don’t know the amount of respect i got for this man and everything he has been through and i feel like these two songs portray his lowest and his highest in life and take account every struggle along the way and how he truly deserves everything he has right now 

Kim Seokjin - when the party’s over

“ Don't you know I'm no good for you I've learned to lose you, can't afford to

Don't you know too much already I'll only hurt you if you let me

Quiet when I'm coming home and I'm on my own I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that”

- color scheme: night snow, onyx black, muddy grey

- smell of liquor, messy steps, blurred vision, flood of thoughts, the darkest time of the night, dried streams of tears on your cheeks, your boyfriend’s hand quietly holding yours, but them you have to split ways, walking alone on the dead street, cold wind air hitting your face, but you find comfort in it, you reach home, but you can’t seem to go in; so you sit on the sidewalk, looking down; you hear distant steps; he sits down in the snow next to you; the sky slowly, but surely becomes lighter 

- quiet sadness, deeper understanding of the world, human relationships seem harder, yet simpler, timeless feeling, a sense of maturity

- this song is just a masterpiece. hear me out, i don’t think i would understand this song as well as i do now, if i have listened to it a few years back. I would have been like “oh yeah it’s sad”

-But like. no. It’s not just sad. It’s a song that shows so much maturity and experience with life that first of all, idk how billie is so young and is able to create music like that. Second of all i don’t think anyone else of bts would fit better to it, than jin 

- people tend to overlook his deeper emotions because he tends to distract from them, he always acts “silly” and tells jokes, but i feel like in songs like epiphany and awake we can see that jin really sees the world and his abilities from a much more mature point of view than other members. And i get the same vibe from billie’s song, so i feel like it would fit best for jin. 

So actually this was way longer than i planned, but yeah, this is just strictly my opinion and it was just an idea i had at 3am now, as i said, hope it’s fun to read :))

im off to bed, because i’m so sleep deprived i will start hearing colors soon 

[reclusive-cat-lady]

Wildcard - Simon x Reader

Summary: Reader steals from the Sanctuary and faces the consequences after an encounter with Simon.

Warnings: NSFW, smut, strong language, mentions of suicide, alcohol usage, cunnilingus, spanking, orgasm delay, dubcon, bondage

Words: 2777

Tags: @simons-thirst-squad​ @redisunamused​  

A/N: Written for the ABC’s of Simon Challenge. Unbeta’ed. Feel free to let me know if you'd like to be tagged in my future fics.

Holding my breath, I could do no more than wish for my own death. The cards were now stacked against me as the odds could only be in my favor so long. Life was a gamble and I no longer held the winning hand. My death bell's toll came in the form of shrieks and moans of the undead encompassing the walls sheltering me. The rickety door and dilapidated windows of the tiny room held little protection from the growing horde.

When I closed the door behind me, I had inadvertently sealed my own coffin. There was no escape within these four walls. Or should I say, there was no way out. I had a clear escape from it all in liquid form. If I had to choose where to spend my last day on earth, an abandoned bar wasn't the worst option.

Feeling pressure build in my lungs, I exhaled sharply and brought the glass I held to my lips as I took a generous sip of scotch. Pressing my eyes shut, I drowned out the horrors that dwell outside the sanctuary that would soon be my resting place. The hungry growls outside were now a distant hum as I focused on the soothing warmth of the drink, allowing my thoughts to drift.

Death was but a part of life. I'd never been afraid of living precariously and I sure as hell wasn't going to start now. The danger of everyday life in a world where each day could be my last drove me to face another. My ultimate fear was not of death but instead life. Life lacking adventure was but a mundane existence and not one I wanted to live.

It wasn't as if I hadn't considered bursting out the door in a blaze of glory to meet my inevitable end but, in reality, suicide without reason or valor was equally as meaningless. The irony of the situation made it all the more disconcerting.

I had been on a simple run only hours ago. I suppose my idea of simple would be another man's greatest challenge if one considers sneaking past a blockade of walkers, and into one of the most heavily guarded communities, to be a difficult endeavor. From what I could gather, this group called the Saviors, shows no mercy to traitors and thieves. The risk of capture only fueled my insatiable thirst for adventure. Though I only confiscated a knapsack worth of supplies, the mission had been well worth the effort having gave me the rush of adrenaline I so craved.

In the midst of my mission, I had been spotted so I made a stealthy exit. That was my first error. Instead of heading North, I took the alternative route and ran straight into a horde of the walkers. That's how I ended up here. Trapped in a tavern for nothing more than a few cans of food, a portable radio and a deck of playing cards.

My game of survival was finally nearing its end. It was but a matter of time before the multitude of walkers were to break down the door and see to my demise. Acceptance of death washed over me as the door behind burst open. Without so much as glancing at the intrusion, I calmly took my final sip of scotch knowing the end was seconds away. Rather than the moans of the undead, my ears were met with the slam of a door.

Startled by the intrusion, I jerked my head around having expected to be met with the sight of bloodthirsty creatures stumbling about. Instead, I found myself captivated by the appearance of a man – one who was very much alive.

Still oblivious to my presence, he propped himself against the door, chest heaving. His khaki shirt tightened over his toned muscles with each breath. He was the epitome of ruggedly handsome in an unconventional sense with a peculiar air about him which I couldn't quite put my finger on. He dawned an outlandish mustache which oddly seemed to suit him.

The man raised his head and took a glance around the room. He did a double take in my direction, having taken notice of my silent observation. Bringing his shoulders back in a defensive stance, he stood up and advanced toward me.

I tried my damnedest to play it casual despite my rush of exhilaration. Blood thrillingly raced through my veins at the prospect of the unknown. While my poker face may have been on point, I was quite certain the heaving of my chest was a dead give away that I wasn't as collected as I'd have liked to pretend I was. I let out a sharp breath as the man stopped a few feet from me. His eyes traveled up and down my body though I felt there was something more to it than lust, almost as if he were searching for something. His scrutinizing gaze quickly turned to one of amusement as his lips curved in a wide grin.

“Looks like I got here in time for happy hour.”

“Yeah? You're just lucky you got through those doors. Helluva rush hour traffic out there,” I said coolly as I jumped off the stool and strode toward the bar, intentionally brushing shoulders with the man as I passed him. Making my way behind the bar, I placed my elbows on the counter opposite of the stranger and leaned forward in a seductive manner, making a point to accentuate my breasts. I had never been this forward with men prior to the apocalypse but life was short and potential partners were few. Carpe diem, I reminded myself. “So, handsome, what will it be?”

“Gin. Top shelf,” he said nodding in the general direction of the gin selection.

I turned and grabbed a bottle of Hendricks and a rocks glass, blowing lightly to dispel any dust or debris before pouring the liquor. Sliding the glass across the counter, I then topped off my own drink. “You got a name?”

“Simon.”

I gave him my own name in exchange before returning to my stool. My eyes averted his as I stared at my drink, feeling his piercing gaze burning into me. Simon took a seat directly to my left, his proximity bringing chills down my spine. Something about him sent danger signals to my mind though my body wanted nothing more than for him to entertain my wildest of fantasies. His dangerous vibes made him all the more alluring. It was a rare occurrence to run into survivors nowadays, especially ones who were so well-kempt as he. This only added to the mystery that was Simon and I was bound and determined to figure it out.

Swinging my stool around to face him, I found his eyes still upon me. I smiled invitingly hoping to elicit deviance from his stoic composure. “I take it you didn't fight your way through the herd just for a drink, did you?

“Now that's a loaded question,” he replied, altering his tone to a lively one. Now we're getting somewhere. I waited in anticipation for him to continue, our eyes locked in a silent battle. After another moment of deafening silence, it became clear he wasn't going to elaborate. He jutted his chin forward, leaning his body closer, in a gesture signifying it was my turn to speak. Too stubborn to play his game, I remained silent tilting my head in mock confusion.

“Repartee. Tit for tat. Quid pro quo.” Simon said flippantly with a smug grin across his face as he leaned in even closer, scooting his chair forward so that his legs pressed firmly against the outside of mine. He placed his buff arm on the back of my chair confining me in my place. His face was now inches from mine.“Your turn, sweetheart.”

I could feel the intoxicating heat of his breath on my face, taking me off guard slightly. A warmth began to build in my core making it difficult to focus on anything but his body heat against mine. I was half tempted to scoot forward on the stool, subtly hiking up my skirt in the process, but instead opted to up the steaks and challenge him.

“I'll tell you what,” I began. “How about we play a game? Looser answers the question first. Fully and honestly.”

“I don't bargain.” Simon leaned back in his chair, his expression unreadable.

“But,” he drawled. “You have me intrigued. Go on.”

I couldn't hold back a smile, knowing I had him right where I wanted him. “A simple game of poker. I mean, it's not like we have much else to pass the time,” I suggested, brushing my leg teasingly against his inner thigh.

With Simon still holding my chair in place, I craned my neck as I reached for the backpack behind me. My newly obtained deck of cards was conveniently on top, saving me the trouble of digging through the other items I'd taken.

“Wild cards or no?” I asked as I picked up the deck. Feeling Simon's hands around my waist, I was jolted off my seat. Before I knew what was happening, I found myself laying across his lap as I stared at the floor. His hand pressing into the back of my neck immobilizing me. “What the hell?!”

“Seems you have something that doesn't belong to you,” Simon said lowly. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. This wasn't going how I planned at all. “You should know, Negan doesn't take kindly to thievery.”

“Who the hell is Negan?” I spat. I was already screwed. No sense in abating my audacity now.

A resounding smack echoed through the room as Simon's hand came down harshly on my backside. It stung like hell even through my clothing. Putting up a fight was out of the question as Simon's strength was overpowering. Even if I wanted to escape, there was nowhere to run. As indignant as my position was, I was eager to play out our little game. Not to mention I was turned on as fuck.

“I think a little respect is in order, don't you?” Simon said with disconcerting composure. “Now, do you care to repeat your question?”

“Seeing as answering questions directly is something you struggle with, I'm gonna say no,” I retorted, earning myself three more sharp slaps in quick succession. The pain of it coupled with a growing pleasure left me craving his touch. I clenched my thighs together in desperate need of friction.

“Now, I'm getting the impression you don't understand the gravity of the situation here.” Simon rested his hand on my ass, rubbing lightly. Feeling my panties growing wet, I began to wonder how long I could keep this up. “I'm beginning to think you need a lesson. Set things straight.”

“Do you care to demonstrate?” I purred. Without missing a beat, Simon lifted my skirt and began tauntingly rubbing my panty-clad clit. His fingertips traced circles with alternating pressure that was just enough to drive me wild. “Jesus, fuck!” I snapped in impatience.

Simon pulled down my panties much to my satisfaction. I involuntarily thrust my hips back eager with anticipation only to be met with a harsh slap to my bare skin. A moan escaped my lips which I silently cursed myself for.

“The thing about punishments is,” Simon said as he inserted a finger inside me. “It wouldn't be a punishment if I gave you what you wanted, now would it?” He emphasized his point by abruptly removing his finger and spanking me once again. I writhed across his lap, no longer able to hide how much I was enjoying this. The pressure of Simon's grip on my neck increased as his other hand slipped between my thighs. He began rubbing circles around my clit at an agonizingly slow pace before inserting one finger followed by another, pumping in and out.

“Fuck,” I cried out. “Just fucking fuck me already.”

I immediately regretted my words, aching at the loss of his touch as he pulled away. I waited for him to make a move but he remained still, knowing full well the effect his actions had on me. Simon ghosted his fingers over the curve of my ass, no doubt prolonging my release. He squeezed tightly, the pain deepening my need. I was certain to be dripping wet at this point. Having lost focus on anything but my arousal, I hadn't noticed the absence of his hand until I heard the clank of a belt buckle. This could either be very good or very bad. I was done with the foreplay and ready to be fucked senseless but had a feeling Simon was far from finished punishing me.

Simon removed his other hand from my neck leaving me unrestrained across his lap. I tensed at the cool sensation of leather trailing lightly across the top of my thighs. My breathing hitched as my body ached with maddening desire for his caress. Simon chuckled lowly in depraved enjoyment of the torment he was inflecting on me. In a sudden movement, my hands were pulled behind my back and tightly bound.

“Seems you've got yourself in a predicament here,” Simon stated pretentiously. Though I couldn't see his face, I wanted nothing more than to slap the smug grin I was certain he was dawning.

“This all could have been avoided. But,” he paused, placing his hand over the curve of my ass to further emphasize his control. “Point is, what happened happened. So this is how it has to be.”

Before I could contest, Simon raised his hand and brought it down sharply causing me to jolt at the sheer force of the strike. A merciless series of blows followed working into a steady rhythm as I struggled wildly, writhing in his lap. His hand pressed firmly into the small of my back, steadying all but my legs as I continued to kick with abandon. The exquisite pain only deepened my inner thirst. My cheeks began to burn and my pussy throbbed with raw desire.

Simon's growing erection pressed deliciously against my abdomen, filling me with a searing need. A needy moan escaped my lips not unnoticed by Simon. He immediately halted and hoisted me onto the bar-top. I winced at the contact of my tender flesh against the cool wood beneath me. The discomfort was quickly forgotten upon looking down into the hungry eyes of the man kneeling beneath me. His hands locked around my knees as he spread my legs apart. I caught a glimpse of his wicked smile before he nestled his face between my thighs.

Simon's tongue flicked across my most sensitive spot causing me to throw my head back in pleasure. His hands slid up my legs, grasping my hips with bruising force to pull me forward so that I was positioned fully against his mouth. His hands massaged my thighs as his tongue lapped sweet circles tracing over my clit.

His mustache contrasted with the feathery strokes of his tongue, adding another level of pleasure. I wrapped my legs around his waist in a heated attempt to pull him closer, loosing my balance in the process as the action only served to slide myself closer to the edge of the bar-top. I leaned back on my hands for support as Simon teased my lips apart, the silvery strokes of his tongue causing my walls to flutter.

I moaned with pleasure as Simon buried himself in my sweet heat. His change in rhythm left me with a blinding need for release. Heedful to my desire, Simon returned his attention to my clit. His ministrations intensified, the brutal strength of his passion bringing me to the edge. I came undone as my orgasm ripped through my body. Simon pulled me forward as I collapsed into his arms in a daze.

Coming to my senses, I looked up to be met with Simon's lustful gaze, his lips curved into a mischievous smile. “Sweetheart, that was just a warm up. You don't actually think we're finished, do you?”

Sinful images conjured in my mind of the things Simon had in store for me. The though of it was dizzying, my body eager for more.

The sun cast a dim glow in the room indicating night would soon fall. With the herd still present outside, there was no telling how long Simon and I would be trapped together. I smiled knowing that we were going to make the most of every minute of it.