#I’m driving four hours to surprise my sister at her last swim meet

[yellobb]

Someone make me get up

[ironmariposa]

(The things I did) Just so I could call you mine

Chapter 3/4

Also found on Ao3

Notes: A huge thank you to @writing-as-tracey for giving me key words to use for Heather & Rays project and for all their encouragement for this story!! Keeps my motivation going. If you haven’t yet you should definitely check out their ff!

“The Senior baseball tournament.”

“Oh.” Heather laughs holding up her hands, “There’s no way you want me on the team.”

“Not a choice, Hill. Everyone has to play.”

Heather shakes her head, “Trust me, Ray, you do not want me.”

His eyes flash and she swallows because damn why does she keep slipping up like that. Making off the wall comments that have double meanings.

“I mean on the team. You don’t want me on the team. I’m horrible at organized sports.”

He leans towards her, “You can’t be that bad. Come on, it’ll be fun. Just. Go out to Andy’s and practice in the batting cages.”

Andy’s is the local putt putt place that is mostly a piece of shit but pretty much the only fun outing that’s close by. Her, Bishop, and Natalie spent most of their middle school years there. Playing putt-putt but for the one time. One time Natalie was crushing on a baseball player and forced the three of them to go to the batting cages. It was an absolute disaster.

“Lets just.” Heather sighs, “get back to work. I only have another hour before I have to pick up my sister.”

Ray drops his chair back to four legs and picks up the book she slides across the table to him. “Just think about it.”

She studies him as his eyes flicker through the book. They’ve had multiple meetings together at the library and sometimes at school. He’s given her rides home, teases with her sister and just recently started calling out to her in the hallways. The first few times she jumped, because in the past it meant he was about to mock her or Bishop.

He’s different and as the due date for their project approaches she finds herself almost sad. Because after they’re done she won’t have a reason to hang out with him. And she finds she actually likes hanging out with Ray Hall.

“Are you serious?” Heather stares at her friend, her best friend, in complete shock. The news she just dropped on them as they sat on the side of main street was shocking. To have known someone for so long and not see such a bombshell coming…. Heather was lost for words.

Bishop just shakes his head, “You know what, I'm not even that surprised.”

Heather looks at him then back at Nat, “Well I am. You’ve always said it’s a stupid game for idiots to play.”

“Nooo.” Nat says with a tilt of her head, “You've always said that. I just agreed.”

Bishop points his drink at Heather, “She’s got you there.”

“I mean…” Heather shakes her head and picks up her drink. Hearing that Natalie plans on playing the Senior game after two Seniors died last year playing it, is just terrifying. She never thought she would have to watch someone she cared about go through it. Although, the closer she grew to Ray, she knew in the back of her mind she would have to watch him. There was no way he wouldn’t play, especially since his brother won just a few years ago.

Nat nudges her with her arm, “You’re not mad, are you?”

“No. Not mad.” Heather meets her friend's dark brown eyes and cringes, “Just …worried.”

Nat laughs, “It’ll be fine.”

“Yeah. I’m sure that’s exactly what Jimmy and Abby thought too.” Bishop says with a bit of a bite to his voice. Both girls look at him with wide eyes and he makes a face, “Too dark?”

“Yeah.”

“Just a bit dude.”

They all laugh and if it’s a little strained, well, no one points it out.

Heather rushes into their established room in the library with an apology on her lips. “Sorry, my boss made me stay later because he wanted to get high with his girlfriend.” She slams herself in a chair and begins to unload her bag.

“Sounds like a douche.”

Heather grunts, “He one hundred percent is a douche.” She slams one book then another down on the table before pulling out her notebook and flipping it open, “But he pays me. Most of the time. So I have to put up with him.”

Ray closes the book he was reading and leans forward, “What do you mean he only pays you most of the time?”

Heather shrugs, “Doesn’t matter. So did you figure out which chapters we should focus on because I was thinking …” Heather stops her ramble as Ray's hands fall on top of her notebook, covering it completely.

“Heather, it’s illegal for them not to pay you.”

Heather sighs, “Well considering there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it.”

“You could quit.”

She laughs harshly at that, “You sound just like Nat and Bishop.” He makes a face at the comparison, “I can’t quit. I need the money. The portion my mom doesn’t take for living in her house, I’m saving for college.” She looks up at him with a desperation for him to understand because her friends never could. They both come from families that love and support them. Families that can afford to send them to college. Families that lift them up instead of dragging them down so deep, it feels like she will never be able to dig herself out no matter how hard she tries

But if anyone could get it, it would be him, “I have to get out of this town.” She says in a quiet voice and there it is. His eyes say it all, complete understanding.

She feels relieved at having someone understand her so completely. She feels like she can actually breath.

He nods after a moment and pulls his arms back, “I was thinking chapters ten and eleven and then the last few chapters.”

Heather nods as she flips through her notebook to those chapters.

“Hey.” Ray steps up to her locker and she glances quickly at him before focusing back on the contents of her locker. She can still see him out of her peripheral as he leans up against her locker door, grinning, “We’re taking the boat out tomorrow afternoon, want to come?”

Heather nudges him with her arm and grabs her locker door to shut it, “Did you finish your character analysis and also who’s we, because I have no interest hanging out with a drug dealer and a pediphile.” She starts to walk to class and he follows. Moving around her to walk backwards so he can face her. And it works for him because no one wants to be the one he trips over so everyone makes a path for them.

Ray chuckles, “I did finish it.” He waves the paper at her and she takes it, her eyes skimming over his handwriting, “And Adam’s not a pediphile.”

“Did he not date that freshman for a few months?” She asks as she tucks the paper in her notebook.

“Well sure but he was still seventeen at the time.”

Heather shakes her head at him silently. He laughs, his dimple flashing and her eyes once again lingering there. He notices. Of course he does, his eyes say it all.

“It’s not just them. Sarah will be there and probably Ruby Anne.” Ray stops causing her to stop or run into his chest. And she kind of wants that. At school he manages to keep his shirts buttoned but any other time she sees him or spends time with him, he usually has his bare chest on full display. And she’s been getting the urge to touch it more and more.

“Come on. It’ll be fun.” He urges.

“Okay.” She finally agrees. Ray shouts loudly and steps around her to head off to his class. He continues celebrating loudly as he leaves her and she shakes her head in embarrassment. Glancing around she finds no one is paying them much attention besides a curious look or two. Thankfully neither of her friends have class down this hallway.

She actually has that Saturday off but she tells her mom she’s working. She can’t use that excuse on her friends because they’ll expect her to meet them on her break so she tells them she has to watch Lily and work on homework. They don’t question her because it happens often enough. She feels bad for lying to them. They both mean well but they’ve been making little comments here and there about how much time she’s been spending with Ray.

She approaches the dock with trepidation. She can see Adam and Sarah already on the boat. Ray is messing with a fishing pole off to the side. He looks good in low riding swimming trunks and a sleeveless button up. Of course it’s unbuttoned. Adam gives a soft whistle and nods to her when Ray glances at him. Ray turns to her, the smile on his face wide and genuine. He pushes his sunglasses on top of his head and her heart pounds at the look on his face.

“You came.” And he sounds genuinely surprised.

“I said I would.” She smiles back at him and they stand there for a long moment.

Tyler pushes past them, “Let's go bitches.”

Ruby Anne follows behind him and smiles apologetically at Heather. Her eyes find Rays again and he nods his head to the boat.

They’re last on the boat after Ray unties it from the dock and other than the captain's chair there’s nowhere for Heather to sit. Ray fixes that by pulling her onto his leg once he sits to drive the boat. She looks over his shoulder at him.

“Is this really necessary?”

He winks at her, keeping his eyes on the water but for that small glance, “Unless you prefer the floor?”

Heather glances over her shoulder. Sarah smiles at her as she lounges back in her seat, a can of beer already open in her hand. Tyler and Adam are passing a joint back and forth. Ruby Anne is sunbathing in her seat.

They're going pretty fast and as Ray turns the boat around a corner she falls more into his lap. She tries to move back to just perching on his knee but he maneuvers his arms around her waist to steer. After a moment of hesitation, Heather relaxes against his bare chest, her head resting just below his chin. He nudges her slightly with his nose and she glances up at him.

“Are you smelling me?”

He laughs out loud and she smiles at how much it thrills her to make him laugh. He presses his nose against her hair again and takes an exaggerated deep breath.

“Smells like peppermint.”

She doesn’t respond. Just enjoys being in his arms, letting herself relax for once where it concerns Ray. No one here is going to tell her it’s wrong or how horrible he is. Or how stupid she’s being. She can just enjoy the moment.

And she does. It takes them another twenty minutes before they get to where they’re going. Ray tells her it’s his favorite fishing spot. The others jump out and make their way to a floating dock where they continue their activities of sunbathing, smoking and drinking. Ray waves them off when they ask if they’re coming.

They spend the entire day out there on the water, not returning until twilight. Heather knows she’ll be red from playing in the water with Ray, to sunbathing on the dock with Sarah and Ruby Anne. She even had a semi deep conversation with Tyler about how honeybees play an important part in their ecosystem and how without them we wouldn’t have coffee or avocados or even medications. Heather's mind is blown with how much knowledge Tyler seems to have on this one subject but Ruby Anne informs her that when he’s high, Tyler likes to watch nature documentaries. They all laugh so hard at him, he storms off a huff.

Ray walks her to her car. The others already went on their way as she helped him unload the boat.

“Thanks for…” she turns and is left speechless as he his eyes meet hers. It’s dark out, hard to see much but his eyes are filled with want. For her. He takes one step, then another, crowding her smaller body back against the truck. And she thinks this is it. This is when he’s going to kiss her. And she was going to let him.

She whispers his name as her legs fall open, giving him room to press against her. She feels the hardness of him all over. He brings his hands up but instead of touching her like she expects. Like she wants, he brackets her head between them as he presses them against his truck. His head tilts down and she lets out a long breath as he drags his nose up her neck and to her ear. His breath is hot as he whispers in her ear, “You’re so far from cute, Heather Nill. I could absolutely devour you with how fuckin sexy you’ve looked all day. I’ve been hard since the moment you appeared on my dock.” And he proves this by grinding himself in the warm space between her legs. Heather's head falls back against the truck with a groan. She curls her hands with want. She wants to fill them with him. To touch him all over, starting with a handful of his hair and ending with a handful of his ….

Ray's nose is back to dragging over her neck and he nips at her pulse causing her to jump. She reaches for him, her hands spreading over his bare back as she pulls him in. He lifts his head, his lips a breath from hers.

Her phone goes off and it’s obnoxious enough that it pulls them both out of their lust haze. Ray pulls his body away from her as she reaches in her pocket to pull it out. It’s her neighbor and she knows she has to answer. It’s never good when she calls.

Glancing at Ray she flashes her phone at him, “I have to…” he just nods and she steps away from him as she presses the accept button.

As she suspected, Bo and her mom are at it again and Lily needs her. She quickly explains to Ray who accepts it with more understanding than she expects. Her friends aren’t usually so understanding but then again they have perfect families that never have drama. Ray on the other hand…

Ray sends her off with a tuck of hair behind her ear and a soft smile she’s never seen him give another. Her thoughts are on getting to her sister but her body is still aflame with desire as she speeds to the trailer park. And after she gets Lily settled in bed, the house now quiet with Bo gone and her mom passed out, Heather lies in her bed thinking of that moment out by his truck and how she knows without a doubt she would have let Ray take her to his bed if they hadn’t been interrupted. And she wonders if that’s a good thing or not.

Heather is waiting for Bishop to finish switching books in his backpack at his locker when Natalie runs up to them and grabs Heather's arm, squeezing tightly.

“Ow Nat.” Heather attempts to pull her arm from her friend's grip but the taller girl refuses to let go.

“You went on a date with Ray Hall?” Natalie practically shouts.

Heather shushes her as she glances around. Bishop looks up from his backpack, frozen. They stare at one another for a long moment before he says one word through gritted teeth, “Well?”

“I…”

Bishop slams the door to his locker so loudly, if people weren’t looking at them before, they sure were now. Natalie seems to notice this as well and pulls them into a dark empty classroom, closing the door behind them.

“Ruby Anne is going around saying you and Ray hooked up this weekend.”

“We didn’t hook up.”

“That you spent the day with them out on his boat. But that couldn’t be true, right? Because you told us,” Natalie points between her and Bishop, “That you couldn’t hang out because you were watching your sister all day.”

Heather presses the heels of her hands to her eyes and then runs them through her hair, “Okay. I lied.”

“You lied?” Bishop says.

Heather avoids meeting his eyes, instead choosing to look over his shoulder into the dark corner of the classroom, “Look, I just didn’t want you guys to give me shit about hanging out with Ray.”

“We don’t give you shit.” Natalie tries to protest.

“You actually do. Even when it’s just to work on the project, you give me shit. I’m so..” Heather takes a deep breath and lets it out, “I’m so sick of feeling guilty for wanting to spend time with someone.”

“Not just someone.” Bishop says through clenched teeth, “But Ray Hall.”

Heather tilts her head back as she breathes in deeply through her nose. Here it is.

“Ray Fucking Hall.”

“Okay, Bishop. I get it. You hate him.” She runs her hands through her hair again but says the next words without hesitation, “But I don’t.”

Bishop blanches at her words and she looks at Natalie who wrinkles her nose at her.

“Heather, you know what he is. You know.” Bishop says with so much heat. Heather just stares down at her feet as Bishop continues his rant. She knows he’s been building this up ever since she was partnered with Ray. She thinks maybe if she lets him have his say then he’ll just back off. Because between him and Ray and everyone else she feels so confused. “All he is and all he’ll ever be is a Meth Row idiot, heading down the same path as his father and brother. You have to see that. You have to know that after all these years.”

“Okay Bishop, that’s enough.” Natalie finally steps in. His eyes flash to her then back to Heather. Without another word he turns on his heel and storms away.

“He’s an idiot.” Natalie says.

“He is.” She agrees.

Natalie wraps her arm around Heather and guides her back out of the classroom, “But you know it’s because he’s in love with you.”

Heather tilts her head back with a groan, “He is not in love with me, Nat.”

Natalie just gives her a look. The look, “If you say so girl.”

After the confrontation, Heather keeps to herself. She doesn’t see either of her friends the rest of the day. She attempts to smile at Ray in class but he just turns in his seat to talk to Adam. She’s too distracted to think anything of it and slides into her seat silently. It’s the week before Spring Break which means their presentations are all week. Their day to present is on Thursday and so Heather sits through the week watching the other presentations. Bishop isn’t talking to her at all and Nat is being distant. She spends her days after school working and keeping Lily away from their trailer as much as possible. The fallouts between her mom and Bo usually last longer than a day or two and it’s always safer to keep their distance.

But then Thursday comes and Ray is nowhere to be seen. She sits in class as the bell rings and picks at her nails. Mrs. Plaza calls her up to the front, “It looks like your partner isn’t going to show. Are you comfortable doing the presentation on your own?”

“I am. But he’ll show.”

Mrs. Plaza looks at her with sympathy, “I’ll put you and Ray last on the list.” She reaches out a hand and places it on Heathers, a comforting touch, “But, Honey, I wouldn’t count on him showing up.”

Heather smiles, “He’ll be here.” And though she sounds confident, with each minute that ticks by, her confidence falters.

Finally, there’s no time left and it’s their turn to present.

He doesn’t show.

[preathtimeline]

Mobile Preath Timeline

It’s here, and it’s a lot.

The following is originally from skatertobin's blog:

Ok so here’s what we think went down:

2015

August to I wanna say November? They get close during the victory tour, Chris being the only other person aside from Alex to be invited to Tobin’s 100th cap dinner and all and them sharing a seat at the White House. Basic stuff.

December Christen tags along with Tobin on her Hawaii strolls (especially since both Cheney and ARod aren’t around for the Hawaii game). Wander around Waikiki Beach and hang out with Friends with Flowers in their hair and other fun things like that. Maybe Christen watches Tobin surf at some point and maybe Tobin teaches her how as well. 👀 Idk. But I’m positive swimming happens in cute bikinis because I mean.... it’s Hawaii!! 🙄 They they fly to NOLA for the last VT game. And Press is probs like “hey so where ya staying at after this (the China game)?” like while they’re walking along Bourbon Street where the Leather Jacket™ makes its first appearance. Then tobs is probs like “maybe Portland?” Then Chris is all “well that’s just a state away from where I’m headed wanna crash for a bit?” Then tobs, being the homeless little shit that she is, is maybe like “sweet can we go to the beach” then Christen is all “literally everyday” and then done deal. That’s that. So from there they take the same flight to LA from the NOLA airport. Why? Who knows but tbh Tobs maybe (definitely) stays in PV with Pressy and maybe (definitely) is the reason why Christen’s late to that boat parade at Newport with ARod and Whit cos you know... busy being a good host and such. But then it’s the holidays so we know Tobs would go home to her fam in the east coast for Christmas like the good daughter she’s supposed to be so she does, but she goes right back to LA to maaaaaybe celebrate Chris’ birthday. Boop. And you know since she’s already there they’re probably like, “why not spend New Year’s Eve together and train together at the TOCA center while we’re at it???” Like it’s the most obvious thing because I mean maybe they realize they’d be playing more together with Christen nally being close to a starting spot. Hawink!!!! Work on their chemistry as the kids call it because ya know... First Touch Is Everything™.

2016

January So maybe Tobs flies back to spend New Years with fam again because Chris can’t have her forever. But also maybe not because that would have been very convinient since they get called in to camp in Cali shortly after. But I mean you know, who knows. But wtvr. So there they spend a lot of time together like going to the beach together and getting coffee together and entering and exiting the locker rooms and US soccer vans together. You know. Fun stuff. Then the SD game happens and then they all fly to their respective homes but Tobin doesn’t have a home remember so she invites Press to go to Portland with her and they hold hands at the airport while Press is wearing the Purple Hat™ and maybe they go to the Nike HQ together and go furniture shopping and then they have dinner at a fancy restaurant and Tobs shows Chris around her soon to be new home like a local. Then they fly back to LA because beastmode soccer is a thing and they wanna train and be beasts. And then in between they share sunsets together and play with Morena and Khaleesi and Tobin is snookums.

February It’s Olympic Qualifiers in Texas and well what do you know??? The little shits score a goal together, and then steal the van keys so they can go out on Valentine’s Day. There’s a monkey stuffed toy involved and I hate my life basically because @ god, why. 🔥 They go back to LA together after celebrating their Olympic qualifying win to watch the Arsenal vs Barça game in Santa Monica and have sushi together and also crash the u16 camp. Then they go back to PV and Fly Away™ because All We Need Is Love™. Also because christen has a fUCKING BODY ISSUE PHOTOSHOOT that they’re tOTALLY NOT SUBTLE ABOUT. Ok maybe they’re totally subtle. Kind of.

March They go into the SheBelieves Cup in Florida and go Raw Juicin’ and jewelry shopping because that’s what gal pals do obviously. Chris probs tags along when Tobin hangs out with her French friends and they fly back together to NJ to meet Christen’s fam (who would have thought?!) and to NYC to Find Neverland. And then I mean imagine the goodbye for when they go their separate ways for the NWSL preseason and if you’re wondering how they’d cope, the answer is: Not well.

April They meet again for the Orlando camp and they all gotta be lowkey and concentrate on the training but then the OCSC vs PTFC game happens and they’re not so slick and get accidentally recorded and Tobin’s like 🙅🙅🙅... So they train in Orlando and Colorado and win in Connecticut and Philly vs Colombia and then they play chess in between and have coffee. Turns out they’re new bus buddies too now Allie’s in camp. And maybe (definitely), Jill Ellis is a fangirl and ships the little shits together because suddenly Press is a right middy and Tobs is a right back. If not for the sole purpose of Foudy saying on live television that Tobin would be watching Christen’s ass the entire game, basically. Anyway. CAPTAIN Tobs gets some winking action caught on camera and we’re all just gone. Adios. Goodbye.

May NWSL starts back up and we’re all excited but also sad because preath but they’re fine and we’re being dramatic but not as dramatic as them because apparently they desperately miss one another??????.... So like, when Chicago plays in Seattle the same weekend Portland plays at home, what else would Tobs do right? Would she drive four hours to watch the game? The answer is yes. But why right???? WHYYYYY???? Because obviously, Press in the west coast means some much needed quality time in Portland i.e. a double date at a fancy vineyard with a view and some tacos.

June The games vs. Japan happen in Denver and happen in Cleveland and that’s apparently not enough for them because Tobin tags along with Press and the Chicago girls to watch the MehNT and the Jumbotron loves them just as much as they do each other. The two part series of a battle of the baes in the CHIvsPOR NWSL games starts in Chicago and ends in Portland so naturally (duh) Press stays in Portland so the little shits could have private training sessions together before flying to Chicago again. Fuckers. (Honestly it’s not practical but thEY INSIST)

July The game vs South Africa happens after which they conveniently skedaddle ahead of everyone else in a separate car because of dinner reservations at yet another fancy restaurant. They both make it to the Olympic 18 and they “celebrate” it by going on a not-so romantic getaway to the ESPYS in LA and then they have dinner with Alex and Allie because like, Press probably (I’m sensing a theme, are you?) gotta have an initiation of sorts because things bout to get serious. 💁 But well Tobin gets an initiation of her own too so they’re even. 😅 But well, Tobin gets They head into camp in KC then win their Olympic send off game against CRC 👀 and fly again to camp in DC with the NJ crew and chill before flying aGAIN for the Olympic Games !!!

August They get to Brazil and have a killer Olympics .............Can you believe the Olympics got cancelled this year?????? Amazing. Anyway. That’s irrelevant. What’s not irrelevant though!!!!!! is them coming back to the states!!!! But instead of going straight home, the little shits get a connecting flight from Chicago (to probably get stuff??) to Portland together to get away from it all. Some good music, good coffee, a little kite flying and some R & R with good company and suddenly all is right in the world again. 👍 NWSL regular season to look forward to.

September So like, the NWSL starts up again right and they go their separate ways and you’d think they’d calm down a bit but BITCH YOU THOUGHT because they secretly meet up again because Press is Tobin’s plus one at her sister’s wedding in Rhode Island and she’s even invited to the rehearsal dinner which is “for immediate family and the bridal party only”. Cyb Press is considered immediate family?????? I can’t TBH. Anyway. That’s only for the weekend though because they gotta get back to their teams to play and try and get berths to the playoffs.... which they boTH DO!! Nice. NT training camp follows and it’s in Columbus so oBVIOUSLY Ms. Portland’s gotta fly in a day early to the east coast to meet up with Captain Chicago & Co. and we find out that Tobin’s tired af and that JJ is a shipper. 😌 Then Columbus happens where we finally get the goal celebration we truly deserve and where the whole stadium empathizes with two college dudes who are like “damn bro, number 12 ain’t straight”. And we can’t forget the regular coffee date . I swear to god it��s an addiction at this point. The game in Georgia isn’t as eventful as the last time we played the Netherlands but I guess it isn’t short of hearteyes. 😍

October So anyway. Can you believe the NWSL gets canceled after the Thorns win the shield???????? This “playoff match” doesn’t actually happen. It’s true. Press just visits Portland to go mermaiding with Tobin. (Euphemism? We may never know) So after then they fly to LA for a Sia concert because they can. But anyway, remember when we thought we got the goal celebration we deserved during that Thailand game? WRONG. Apparently the Swiss have other ideas because we’re all blessed and I’ve never felt more alive than I’ve ever felt in my life in this moment. And we almost get a repeat performance but I mean I guess it’s true lighting doesn’t strike the same place twice. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ̄ or something like that. La Blanquita goes Batista a few days later and Tobin has been established as a pretty useless maid of honor but I mean, she looks cute and her outfit repeater of a plus one (who is yet again invited to the rehearsal dinner!!!!!) looks cute too.

November At this rate is it even still surprising they’re practically living together? Portland Preath gets a part /something/ (because honestly who the fuck is still keeping track? Hint: not me) So Press Painting rainbows in an oversized, expensive ass Pride shirt in Tobin’s Portland kitchen is a thing thanks to Tobin’s (not Kling’s. Gotta make that clear.) very distinguishable floorboards and countertops. And apparently Press is practically a Thorn at this point, too, what with all that ball-kicking and strength training in Providence Park? Yeah. Ikr. Gross. They come to NorCal (to have coffee with a baby for practice) for the first Romania game and CYB they have chemistry on the field????? Like who woulda thunk?!?!?!?!? Also Press gets a hatty because she’s???? good???? at????? soccer????? (Also Christen brings herself sandwiches during games. Tobin doesn’t but CP ain’t selfish. If yanamsayin. Also, they’re literally married. Just thought you’d like to know.) K so anyway, boop boop, ROU part 2 aka the SoCal game becomes the perfect finish to the USWNT calendar year eSPECIALLY for the little shits because not only do we all get Blessed™ with another Preath goal, but basically Preath saves 2016 via great passes, bedroom eyes and hand holding. (PRESS SCORING AND ASSISTING IN EVERY GAME SINCE SWITZERLAND BTW????? Like, thank you, Tobin.) So no more games for the rest of the year, but that will not stop them from doing couple things because!!! They!!!! Are!!!!! Little!!!! Shits!!!!! The zenpups think so too. But anyway! It’s the return of Sunsets and Snookums in LA can you believe!!!!! There’s a romantic museum trip somewhere in the mix and some soccer on the beach too! Chris realizes then that her true passion is to be part of the circus and it’s all because of Circuit Bouldering in Portland (read: their home). Or I guess a second home because looks like Chris finally gets settled into her new house by the beach for a hot minute to enjoy rainbows before jetting off again. ✈

December Right so Grassroot Soccer holds a gala and Christen is the guest of honor also it’s Tobin’s turn to be a plus one (and to a red carpet event at that!) in frEAKING LONDON and they’re both beautiful and I’m dead. I’m also thinking Chris is the one that scored them tickets to the Arsenal game the night before the gala because she is whipped and In LoveTM. Gross. They don’t stop there though because they think they’re sneaky Pete about watching El Clasico with the fam (aka Allie & Bati) BUT NO!!!! You caught muthafuckas! There’s dancing in alleyways and reconnecting with old Spanish friends, too. Gross x 2 Euro trip continues in Sweden and Tobin and Christen literally sit on a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G and it’s all so scenic and romantic. Gross x 3 Well, I didn’t think they’d ever come back from their European bae-cation, but they do and it’s straight to Portland for some Christmas decorating and Tobin wins POTY to make up for this shitty year so they celebrate by getting some coffee and tacos and training - their faves. Duh. It’s kind of a quiet Christmas, celebrating with their own friends and family but I mean, it’s Pressy’s birthday. So they reunite and go hiking in LA and Christen gets a new name. Hi Kristen! 🖐

2017

January After ringing in the New Year with skiing and kisses (probably), Chris spends time in Portland, having shakes and breakfast with the bae. They go back to LA coming out of their own little bubble because it’s January training camp season and I’m having major flashbacks with them riding together to training and being locker room buddies! Their off day is as glorious as we’d expect, with some beach time and fun. (Thanks to JJ for being a shipper.) And we’re also blessed with Allie Long and a Harry Video. After camp, they’ve got a ton of down time so it’s the perfect opportunity to go chilling by their beach house. I say “their” because there’s a stray surfboard lying around and I’m sure as hell it ain’t Christen’s. 💁

February The next camp for SheBelieves isn’t til later on in the month so they fly back to home number 2 aka Portland to chill and be low key, watching Tove Lo on their date night. Tobin has a little photoshoot where she's in all her sweaty glory and itty bitty shorts and Christen flies off on her own for a bit for an appearance then it’s back to Portland for a low key vday. And then camp starts up and it feels like a drought but really, we’ll take what we can get. And what we get are matching backpacks and Harry.

March The SheBelieves Cup starts really well with an Allie IG takeover (which is always gold js) and we’re blessed with cameos of the lovers slash bus buddies!! And we see that age old Preath Connection that we know and love. We even get a possible date night in between!!!! The second game is a doozy but the most important takeaway is that they’re literally married. From the bus to the locker rooms, from the bench all the way to the sidelines. Married. Wives. For life. Fact. Even the Press Pack is supportive. Last game of the tourney and it was a loss. Lol. Anyway. They were trying to be sneaky and we learn that the fams are at the games together to support them. That’s it. Next. There’s a lot of debate about whether or not Tobin calls Christen “babe” because we’re all thirsty but there’s also the thing about helping Chris move to her new Chicago apartment so insert Oprah what’s the truth gif here. And then before the month ends, there’s a perfectly planned preseason tournament in Portland. Right before which Press kidnaps Tobin and escapes to LA for some hula dancing and pineapples, and then brings her back because plus ones at weddings are overrated (not). But the tourney goes on and Tobin’s not playing but she’s enjoying her box in the stands. Meanwhile, Christen just wants to say hi.

April Not much really happens because they’ve suddenly gone 100% stealth mode, with Tobin injured and not able to travel and all, but thanks to a little tweet we see that on NWSL opening day there was still some sort of support aka Tobin watching the Chicago game while on the stands for the Portland home opener. It’s better than nothing right? Oh and when Chicago visits PDX for the 3rd game, Chris gets taken down and Tobin looks away because she probably can’t watch it without going apeshit idk. Same. Anyway, Chris sends smiles towards the box and I guess I’m okay with that.

May “what injury?!” Tobin then says as she boards a flight to Chicago after the Thorns game to bear witness to/be the reason behind the end of the drought (goals & content tbh thank you). Cyb her back died so CRS could rise? Meanwhile to pass the time though Tobs becomes Asst Director for the Thorns youth program and paints for bae. And right after their respective weekend home games, Press ies out to PDX for Tobin’s birthday shebang. Tobin picks her up from the airport and takes her to her party and everything!

June A couple of friendlies abroad happen but since Tobs is injured she’s off the roster but she does some housewarming for Chris til she gets back from practicing on babysitting Cash. So after that, getting back into the swing of things in the NWSL is easy for Chris but unfortunately Tobin still can’t play so the next best thing is staying together in ChiTown to keep the blues away for like.... 2 weeks.

July ...Tobin’s still injured. But at least she has some fresh shoes (and expensive sliders)! And Press spends some time in LA to keep her company at rehab. Some people thought July was gonna be the first month we don’t get any content and Press personally makes sure it isn’t during the Chi vs Orl game on lifetime.

August We have a weird Tournament of Nations and it’s probably because Tobin’s back hasn’t resurrected yet but in the last game in LA, we get a rare sighting of a stud at training so maybe we’ve still got a shot. I mean i guess 2nd place in our own tournament isn’t so bad? Kinda? But whatever. What’s important is the roller blading that happens the days after. And then it’s time for CHIvsPOR. And after that, Tobin’s back in LA hanging out with Chris’ sister and bro-in-law at a bar because you know, they’re close or whatever.

September Ok so it’s been quiet but it’s not because of anything crazy. They’ve just done better at the privacy thing. Good on them you know ? But anyway. They reunite in Colorado and Cincinnati.

October The final regular season match is conveniently in Portland and unfortunately, they end up not playing each other in the semis so Chicago has to book a flight to NC but Chris still makes sure to enjoy her time. So after the uswnt game that Tobs has to sit out, the only time we have proof that Tobin is still alive is the Century 21 event in Arizona. Meanwhile Chris is back home with her pups in LA. But Tobs flies to get in on the puppy love but we only know through her shadow and when they turn into wine moms for a night.

November Fall this year is coming along quite nicely but not as nice as it is in Portland, probably, because there are Trainbows, says Chris! In Canada Chris serves some gross hearteyes despite the fact that Tobin’s been sidelined due to injury. They have the last game of the year in Cali and it kickstarts the swaggin they do together. And then November ends with a bang with them posting about flying to london for a red carpet event!

December Said red carpet event is the annual Grassroot Soccer Gala. (And this time Tobin doesn’t go ghost!) And they just wander around taking good pictures and visiting friends and watching football! Thanks HAO! Thanks Crystal! And then they’re back to being Domestic!Preath canoodling in their LA loft by the beach, chilling and hangin out with friends and being Christmassy and such.

The following is from Preath-Things

December (cont.) Christmas rolls around, and they end up going back to their respective fams, meeting back up in Portland some days later. They spend New Years eve snowboarding and just chilling in the snow with their friends. 👌

2018

January New Years is spent in Portland going sledding, but they eventually head back down to California so Tobin can get her ankle fixed. January camp happens without Tobin. But it's fine because Christen and Tobin spend every other moment together, watching sunsets in the rain and Tobin's having a super duper good recovery. Christen finds a new club in the NWSL, surprise! After the friendly against Denmark, they're back to spending all their time together, holding water bottles and attending conferences.

February Tobin has a new job ! Modelling for the new Mercurials in London, whilst also showing off her piano skills, which Christen's obviously heard before with there being a keyboard and all hanging around at their places. Tobin continues her modelling career in LA because the shoes are orange so of course she would. Christen on the other-hand pays a quick visit to houston then reports to camp. Tobin's still out and not playing soccer because remember she's still trying out her modelling career.

March The SheBelieves Cup happens. Or maybe it doesn't. Debatable, considering Christen is bascially nowhere to be found on the pitch, and there's little evidence of her even being at camp. Tobin's also too busy moving from her modelling career to her acting career to be there and play. The uswnt wins the cup somehow anyway. Christen goes back to Portland after the cup and it's a bit quiet but Tobin and Christen are spending some quality time together so isn't that really all that matters? Another surprise ! Christen doesn't want to be with her new NWSL club. So she's heading to Sweden to relive some good times instead, but not before flying kites with Tobin. Tobin also paints a few things inlcuing a 9 post equality sign because she's just that extra.

April Christen returns to her happy place. 🇸🇪 She signs with Kopparbergs/Göteborg FC and scores goals, lots of them. To the absolute surprise of everyone (read: no one) she's named April player of the month in the Damallsvenskan! Tobin decides to put both her modelling and acting careers on hold in an attempt to try her luck at the soccer thing again. Also, being the supportive gal pals that they are, and separated by an ocean, they get into the habit of liking each others instagram posts every so often.

May There are pool parties, sea dips and visits to Norway for Christen, during all of which she proves she did in fact pack Tobin's entire closet, accessories and style before she left PDX. Still separated by an ocean, not really too much happens, other than each of them continuing to practice the liking option on each others instagram posts.

June It's Pride Month 🌈 and Pride Month Delivers. Tobin is called up to national team camp for the first time since forever because her ankle seems to be a-okay, and Jill remembers Christen exists all of a sudden and also calls her up. Which means the two lovebirds finally get to reunite in Utah after months of being super long distance. This officially kicks off Pride month celebrations across the globe. Tobin feels 'tight' prior to the game and decides not to join in on the first Pride month celebration of the USWNT aka the first game against China, instead opting to chill and watch the game from the stands. After Tobin sees the Utah Royals owner get down on one knee in front of her girl, she decides it's time to remind the world that Christen is her's by posting a selfie with her and her gal pal. Christen seems to like the photo too and decides to also repost it because it's pride month after all and you gotta spread the love or something. And that's not the only thing she seems to like, deciding to swap clothes with her girl for their date to the Cavs game. Chris wears Tobin's Cavs jersey, like the traitor she is because apparently whilst it might be the wrong team, it's the right number (in other words words.. the things you do for love, and to wear something with the #23). Pride month continues to deliver with the second game against China and what better way to celebrate pride month by marking the game as Christen's 100th cap?!! Oh there are better ways, says the universe or something because Christen assists a goal in the first half, Tobin enters the match in the second half, and we are blessed with a pREATH GOALl!!! or alternatively a small game of keepy uppy between the two lovebirds which ends up with a ball at the back of the net and a Preath celebration we deserve, whichever you prefer to call it. Pride camp ends, but not before Chris makes sure to just leave one last mark on her time in Cleveland. After flying off together to Chi town, they go their separate ways and Chris returns to Sweden. But it seems that Pride month has one last piece of magic to make happen, and Christen's caught up in another big tangle of a messy trade within the NWSL, which lands her in Utah. A trade she accepts. She is now officially royalty. A queen. 👑 Soon after Chris arrives at her new club, Tobin takes a quick pit stop there on her way back from Houston, because obviously she gotta help her girl settle in to her new home away from home.

July So it’s the Fourth of July and the new royalty/royals, Chris and Sam decide it’s a great idea to celebrate it by buying food to grill even when neither of them know how to turn on a girl grill! Stuck on how to turn on the offending cooking appliance, Chris uses a lifeline and chooses to phone a (girl)friend. Grill Master Tobin pulls through and saves the day. Not that Christen wants anyone to know that Tobin did (gotta mute those instastories, you know?), but Sam does (thanks Sam!). At the same time, Laura decides to inform the world that Christen lives in Portland (thanks Laura!). The Battle of the Baes returns to Portland for 2018 and it ends with a hug and a kiss drinks back at home. Then it's back to Utah for Chris. The Tournament of Nations happens again and it’s not as weird as the previous year’s (probably because Tobin decides to join in this time around). To prepare for the games, Christen returns home to Portland so the two lovers can visit the Nike HQ, go berry picking and dream about pies. Gotta have that pre-camp preparation and relaxation at home with your SO, you know?! The first game of the tourney is against Japan, and it ends with a W and has Tobin subbing on for Christen. There’s shoulder rubs and hip taps and some airport shenanigans. Remember how Tobin was subbed on for Chris? Chris is subbed on for Tobin in the next game against Australia! It’s now completely apparent that Jill deems having both of them playing at the same time to be just Too Dangerous for opposing teams due to their ridiculous on and off the pitch chemistry. She’s clearly just sparing the opposition from a super embarrassing defeat. Good tactic. Chris’ fam comes to say hi in Connecticut 🖐️

August The tourney continues and there’s some team pictionary bonding prior to their final ToN game against Brazil. The Brazil game ends with a Tobin goal and assist, a win and a trophy, as the uswnt finally win the tourney!!!! Also, at this stage it's questionable whether the two are trying to be sneaky or not anymore with Chris throwing literal heart eyes at Tobin at the start of the game, and Tobin putting her arm around Chris' shoulder at the end. 🤷 After the ToN it’s back to their clubs and it’s a bit quiet, but I mean as to be expected. What’s not expected however is the shenanigans that happen prior to the NT's first Chile game back in Christen’s hometown. It’s CP's 100th cap celebration, and Tobin pOSTS her girl a congratulatory post ??? Picture, profile tag, emojis and all?? If you thought the girl would stop there with her public celebration of her bae's 100th cap celebration, you'd be d e a d w r o n g. Tobito also proudly wears Christen’s name on her back ??? somewhat earlier than anyone's anticipated ??? Chris has her ceremony, and Tobin literally has the proudest smile, which you could probably see from space— and it’s debatable whether a tear escapes her eyes during the ceremony, but who could blame her if one did?? So it’s game time and we finally get the long-awaited Captain Press, and it’s everything we could’ve dreamed of!!!! Truly spectacular. Tobin gifts Christen with a PK, which she perfectly finishes because she’s Chris. But there’s a big commotion and suddenly the goal doesn’t count???? Because the ref is apparently trying to ruin Chris’s day ??? and doesn’t know the rules of soccer like at all??? Tobin won’t hear of it obvs— leading the rest of the team as they storm up towards the ref with wagging fingers and pitchforks at halftime, whilst at the same time the Press Pack is up in arms. But it’s (semi) fine in the end because Chris gets another goal anyway (it's beautiful)— capping off the perfect night and a perfect victory in the most perfect place. ❤️❤️ Talking about perfect, both Chris and Tobs are also the most perfect human beings, donating their jerseys from the game to TWLOHA.

September The second game against Chile only features Tobin, but before and after the game she’s wearing a t-shirt that looks strangely like a Supreme-branded shirt with the letters P R E S S spelled out ?? Anyways it's another victory for the team, and everyone eventually heads back to their clubs for the final week of regular season. Then it's postseason time, and Chris returns to Portland to train alone 👎, whilst Tobs is off training with her club. The Thorns play their semifinal game and get the W, obvs cheered on by Chris in the stands. Weirdly enough though, the NWSL championship game for 2k18 just..... never happens ????? Super strange. (Although if it did, Chris was once again there, cheering her girl on) Anyways the season's over, and another season begins— the offseason (aka the best season) where the love birds stroll the streets of Portland (probably holding hands or something cute) and get ready for camp. Although it looks like they might've received the wrong memo about what kind of camp they had coming up— as they end up in the wilderness of Oregon.. camping? And debatably skinny dipping? Who knows?! Is there actually a bikini strap around Tobs's neck? Who knows?! What we do know is that they only packed one suitcase, Christen's gone granola, and the two eventually head on out of there once they realize they're most definitely at the wrong camp— heading off to NC for the camp they were actually meant to be at.

October It's World Cup Qualifiers time, and Chris and Tobs score some goals, Chris has suddenly grown a dragonfly on her arm, and sometime between their last uswnt game and the qualifiers, the two nerds have created their own little handshake— because Chris wanted in on the whole handshake club (who could blame her tbh). So the uswnt qualify for the world cup (!!!!!), and the love birds go and celebrate by showing off their Spanish 101 knowledge in Mexico, and literally murdering everyone by posting photos from their beach and infinity pool photoshoots ??? Like cool, it's not like we were trying to live or anything, right ?? Nah. Oh yeah they're also not being subtle about the fact they're in literally the same place either. But you know what, subtle schmutle thinks Chris, as she posts a boomerang of Tobs and her at tees + jeans like it's like no big deal you know like, whatever. They head to pdx to stand in the fall leaves and take more photos of each other.

November

So there’s a couple USWNT friendlies abroad which Tobs and Chris don’t join in on due to personal and family commitments (respectively), but it's okay (kinda) because they instead

visit an art museum

together— fitting right in as the works of art that they are. Oh yeah Tobin seems to be the

newest Royals signing

? and she's also number 21. Tobs and Chris have a

New York minute week

— jumping into ball pits and casually posting an instastory of themselves together, because obvs it's nbd. They also spend some quality time around thanksgiving with Tobin's fam.

December

The two head back west and drop by stubhub to give some inspirational pep talk to some young athletes at Nike’s,

Play Like a Pro thing

and also so Pressy can

grand marshal

the PV Christmas lights parade ! They also do some

toca training

,

lab visiting

,

sunset watching, more training/testing and family photo taking

. So they basically spend a whole lotta time together— training and being cute and shit ❤️️❤️. They might've headed to Florida also during this time but no one's 100% sure, and it's all a bit of guesswork and squinting. Whatever the case, they were together during most of month because offseason means, barely leaving the bae's side season, until Christmas that is— where they go their separate ways for a couple days. But then it’s Pressy’s birthday aka Christmas 2.0, so Tobs jets back to the west coast to join in on the celebrations, because obviously the best/most important present is Tobin's presence, duh. So they're finally back together in the west coast for the remaining days of 2018, and they finish the year by watching sunsets off rooftops, and preparing to see in the new year together. 💕

The following is when Preathbar took over.

2019

January It’s 2019! Tobin and Christen ring in the new year much like they ended the last one. They play some beach volleyball, To(es)bin watches some premier league, they continue training, Chris gets lost in LA, makes sure we know she’s feeding Tobin, and finally, they watch the last sunset in LA for two weeks😂 lol. Before the fun of camp can start, they get delayed at the airport AND TOBIN ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGES CHRISTEN’S EXISTENCE. It’s fine. We’re all okay from that. (Also Tobin has some Tibetan prayer beads on?) Christen tells us you can’t mess with her zen and they eventually make it to January Camp in Portugal. Because they can’t live without a sunset, they find some (arguably better) ones on a beach in Portugal. Jan Camp finishes up and as luck would have it the whole team gets delayed this time and Tobin passes the time by playing Mario Kart. The orange and pink Kånken bags make a reappearance and of course, Tobes and Chris are airplane buddies. They arrive in Le Havre, France and everyone is still blissfully ignorant about the future events. Apparently, Tobin took a knock during camp and is held out of the first game on precaution so it is CP vs France. Literally and figuratively. The game against France goes very well, and we’re all so glad THAT game was the one on the weekend. After that *ahem* rough, game it’s time to move on and the team makes their way to Alicante, Spain where Tobes and Chris enjoy a day out and about. Tobin seems to have recovered and gets a start against Spain, CP doesn’t, but after a 0-0 first half, Jill decides to sub her in and SHE SCORES A FREAKING (GAMEWINNING) GOAL. The wives only get to play together for 20ish minutes, but we are treated to plenty of Preath content during and after the game. First, there’s the goal celebration that includes a Tobes head pat and a wink from the one and only Christen Press 😉. At halftime, there’s some hand holding glove holding, but after the game we witnessed a to a PreathTackle™ via Tobin Heath. She’s just so proud of her girl she can hardly contain her emotions (and we can’t either 😭). They return to LA after the madness in Europe just in time to catch a sunrise.

February So very early on into the month, Tobin literally comes out of the blue with her “The Ones” interview while promoting the new Air Jordans, and let me tell you, the photos were anything but chill. The go on a little daytime date 💙 and Christen shows off her many rings. After that, Christen decides to prove that Tobin’s not the only model in the family and hits us with the behind-the-scenes of her photoshoot with localemagazine. Stay tuned until May for our Covergirl. Shortly, our family of models decides to return to their day jobs and attend camp in Tampa, FL for the She Believes Cup. They can’t help but be attached at the hip while they’re there (and we’re not complaining). The team makes their way to Philly and Tobin, Chris, and Ash go on a little stroll where Preath proves, yet again, that they exist in the same universe. USWNT vs Japan is first up and again, Christen comes off the bench and makes an immediate impact with an assist, giving the US the lead. She also gets smacked in the face but its okay because Tobes makes sure to check up on her. We also definitely win the game and don’t waste all that work CP did by letting them tie it up.

March After the performance against Japan, the team sets their sights to England at camp. To celebrate the “SheBelieves spirit” they all wear the name of an inspirational woman of their choosing on their backs. Christen chooses the unproblematic fave of Sojourner Truth and Tobin chooses Doris Burke, who was very moved by the gesture. Before the game, Christen gives Tobin her stick of gum bc CP still isn’t starting. Unfortunately, the team seems to play as if they are the names on their back and tie. AGAIN. Maybe it was just the cold because Tobes and Chris almost miss the plane back to sunny Florida, but after quickly boarding the gayng gets to sit together. With one more game left, it looks almost impossible for the US to win the tournament, and we don’t, but we manage to win our last game 1-0 with a goal by the one and only Tobin Heath. Unfortunately, it’s now Chris’ turn to make sure Tobin is okay after a hard foul. Before we take a break from the USWNT for a little while, the World Cup kits are announced with a plethora of promotion. Tobin and Christen both return to their club teams and Tobin does some more promotion for the Thorn’s new kits and sixstar. Christen returns to LA to play some preseason games with Utah and while she’s there she is reunited with Morena and Khalessi. CP is announced as the honorary falconer for the LAFC game and reminds us that if the animal isn’t a dog, she’s slightly intimidated. Tobin also plays a preseason game for Portland and apparently tears it up, but her time with the Thorns is cut short when they both re-port for camp and are re-united for the April Friendlies.

April Camp slowly starts to wind down as the upcoming friendlies draw closer, but not before some exciting news. LUNA Bar announces that they will cover the World Cup roster bonus pay gap for the entire US Women’s National Team! It is revealed that Christen was one of the “chief architects of the team’s current collective bargaining agreement” and she reminds us how smart and beautiful she is in several different interviews. Then, we are provided with an incredible picture that only confirms that Tobin and Christen are bus buddies (in case we somehow forgot). Press is not only smart and beautiful, but she’s also talented at this game of soccer and helps the team win over Australia in an overly dramatic sort-of way. Tobin notches a goal over Australia, but she doesn’t get any minutes against Belgium. CP, however, plays a full 90 minutes and provides 3 assists off of set pieces!!! Nobody seems to notice though. After two successful friendlies with the National Team, they return to play their first (and last for awhile) games for their NWSL teams. Tobin earns POTY with the Portland Thorns and later, an absolutely wild game is played against Chicago. Meanwhile, Press proves what a class act she is in Utah and notches an assist in her first game and then a goal in the second. Just as they start to settle in, we all sadly realize they have to leave their club teams, even though we STILL don’t have a WC roster, but we do get a bunch of amazing gifs. After her game in Orlando, Christen stays a while in Miami where she shows us her coconuts and does lots of promo before we finally get the announcement we were all patiently waiting for. HuLU hAS LivE spOrTS!

May On the first of the month, Tobes and Chris are spotted at the Hulu Upfronts with several other players, looking as gorgeous as ever. Eventually, after virtually the entire roster being known beforehand, USsoccer drops the 2019 Women’s World Cup Roster and Tobin Heath is going to her third World Cup while Christen Press is going to her second, but they’re doing it together this time. With the announcement of the roster, everyone heads to camp before the last of the send-off series games. (Oh and also there’s an incident with Tobin in a button up and her shoulder but whatever. It’s fine.) Remember that “re-” thing Tobin, Christen, Pinoe, and Kling kept teasing/we thought it was an inside joke? Well, it turns Rɘ-inc is an entire company the ladies are starting and they strive to rɘ-imagine rɘ-invent rɘ-configure, and rɘ-volt (to name a few). They are set to launch June 2017 2019 and we can only hope to be blessed with more photos of Tobin wearing... boxers? The first friendly is played against South Africa, and Tobin and Chris actually get to start together, but still, a preath-goal alluded them the entire game. Do you remember back in February when we saw the behind-the-scenes of CP’s shoot with localemagzine? Well now it’s May and Christen is officially a cover girl and I swear they’re all trying to kill us before the World Cup because no one should be allowed to look that hot, but it's Christen so why are we surprised? The penultimate send-off game against New Zealand goes off with little fan-fare (but the girls do notch goals and/or assists). The team seems to have the weekend off before playing their last game and of course, Tobin and Christen return to Portland and decide to watch the Blazers play the Warriors in the Conference finals. How do we know they were at the game? I mean, other than the fact the CP posted a story on Instagram about Nike making Tobes’ dreams come true you could LITERALLY SEE THEM ON LIVE TV BC THEY HAD SECOND ROW FLOOR SEATS BEHIND THE BENCH. Let’s just say we all suddenly cared a lot about basketball that night. A few days later the USWNT heads to New York, is surprised in time square (where T&C are bus buddies, duh), attends GMA, and has Media Day at Twitter’s headquarters. It was a content overload. We never get a break either because few days after that they play their last send-off series game against Mexico and guess what; Tobin and Christen BOTH SCORE (goals)!!! Most would think that having an afternoon game means that the rest of the day is for relaxing and recovery… well, you’d be wrong. Apparently, it’s time for the launch party of Rɘ-Inc and Christen is wearing a Suit. I repeat a Suit at the party and Tobin is wearing a black dress. They both looked absolutely incredible. Rɘ-inc provides us with a lot of amazing content throughout the month. It’s a quick turn around again and the NT now makes their way to London for their final training before the World Cup starts. It’s also Tobin’s 31st birthday and we all hoped and prayed that Christen would post something for it and luckily, she didn’t disappoint.

June It’s officially World Cup Time, but not before a little camp and because the US plays last there’s still time for them to release their 23 stories even after the tournament has officially started. And since we’ve got the time, ESPN announces that Tobin Heath will be profiled on their next E60 special. Tobin finally opens up about… playing soccer… and also her family. In the end, the whole interview makes us love Aunty To-To even more (if that’s even possible) and the unredacted interviews in a podcast are definitely worth the listen. As the last game of the first round of group stage games commences, the USA finally gets their chance to shine, and in a historic 13-0 win against Thailand, boy do they make a controversial statement. Christen notches an assist after she’s subbed in for Tobin because they would be too powerful together on the field. After a few days of rest (and being caught on a live stream with their arms around each other), they play their next game against Chile and while they don’t win 13-0 (which is mostly because Christen gets denied so many times) 3-0 qualifies them for the round of 16. Next up is Sweden and they win 2-0 where Tobin even scores a goal! (Fifa says it’s an own goal but there are lots of things we don’t like about Fifa). Getting first in the group means Spain is our Round of 16 opponent and after a bit of suffering, and Christen’s 2 whole minutes of play time, we win 2-1. Then, it was time for the most anticipated match of the World Cup. A quarterfinal between the USA and France in Paris. Spoiler Alert: WE WON MOTHERFUCKERS and we even got an adorable hug afterward. Tobin scored ANOTHER GOAL but Fifa is plotting against her and it was called offsides. Now a semifinal versus England awaits.

July So… I don’t even know where to begin with this absolutely crazy month. All I can say is... you’re not ready. Guess what! Christen got the start against England and silenced all her skeptics in the 10th minute when she scored a beautiful header! After falling to the ground in pure emotion, Tobin basically nuzzled her head into Chris’s neck in celebration and it was an absolutely beautiful moment for many reasons. The US went on to win and the final would be the USWNT vs the Netherlands. After waiting a little longer to score than usual, THE UNITED STATES WOMEN’S NATIONAL SOCCER TEAM WAS BACK TO BACK, 4-TIME, WORLD CUP CHAMPIONS!!!! TOBIN HEATH AND CHRISTEN PRESS ARE TWO TIME WORLD CUP CHAMPIONS! Tobin ran straight to Christen after the final whistle because they did it together this time. That’s not all though, during the trophy presentation, in the midst of everyone else’s celebration, Tobin looked and Christen and Christen looked at Tobin and they hugged and basically recreated the iconic photo from 4 years ago and I’M STILL NOT OVER IT AND I WILL NEVER BE AND YOU SHOULDN’T BE EITHER. THEN, after ALL of that, T&C decided to go lay in the confetti together and Christen adorably let Tobin throw confetti all over her and I STILL CAN’T. Not to even MENTION the baby Tobin collected and showed to Chris because they’re so domestic™ before Chris decided to adjust Tobin’s medal because they’re also soft™. The real celebration began afterward in the locker room and a lot of alcohol was consumed, but all Chris was worried about was keeping her hair dry with a little blue towel. The next day, after a transatlantic flight and us wondering how they’re going to survive, the team arrived in New York City and the party's just getting started because the day after that the entire team is a guest on Good Morning America. We’re not done yet because the NEXT morning a ticker tape parade through the Canyon of Heroes awaits them (don’t worry, they were on the same float) before a cross-continental flight to LA just in time for the ESPYS (Tobin is apparently dragged, but it was fun). Tobin looks way too damn good in christen’s her v-neck suit, even though her shoe/sunglasses choice was questionable. Christen blessed us with a yellow v-neck suit and both girls were truly “stuntin” on us. THEN THE DAY WE F U C K I N G DIED!!! I’m not even joking. It started out innocent enough (which it really wasn’t but whatever). Christen posted of photo of JUST them together on the float and captioned it “blissful and grateful”. It was already more than we asked for but THEN she started posting pictures of JUST them at the ESPYS on her story and by this point we were already not OKAY. THEN Tobin decided she wasn’t PLAYING AROUND and posted pictures of JUST them on the red carpet and THEN THAT FUCKING VIDEO. T H E STORY TO END ALL INSTA STORIES. What was the video, you ask? Well, what are the New Chicago Bulls Fire J1s… from Travis Scott? Did you see them? How did she get those they’re not even released yet? Watch at your own risk. Finally, both girls decide to decompress and took mini vacay to Los Cabos because why not, you’re world cup champions, and after re-freshing they both fly home to Portland. Of course, their first game back in the NWSL is against each other because only the most chaotic energy is allowed this month. Christen scores the eventual GOTW but the game ends in a tie. Not to worry though because the next week Tobin notches two beautiful assists in the homecoming game against Houston and Christen produces another beautiful GOTW in a game that Tobin attends wearing while wearing a #23 snapback. They really refuse to be separated for more than a few days. Then, as it turns out, they both head back to Portland proving that Tobin’s excursion to Utah really was extra™ and we can only hope we’ll never come down from this content high.

August Just when we thought we were spoiled by world cup content, the girls decided they’re not done yet and we’re blessed with a TC goal during the first of the Victory Tour games versus Republic of Ireland (foreshadowing: it’s not the first of the month). Christen serves a lovely ball right to Tobin’s head and they were sure to hug adorably in celebration. Before heading back to their clubs, Re-inc hosts an event called ResetTheTable, which is basically a dinner party filled with beautiful people (in body and mind). After returning to Utah Christen scores a brace in a midweek game and helps win another so NWSL rightfully makes her Player of the Week. Then, CP heads to NYC to appear on morning talk shows to educate us about the USWNT lawsuit while looking absolutely stunning. In their last club games before international break, Christen gets another goal, and wins GOTW for the third time, and Tobin’s assists continue to grow (it probably helps that Chris goes to watch her). Their travel has been extra™ this month but it’s what you do for love. Finally, they both head to Philly for camp before playing against Portugal and we get ANOTHER TC GOAL. Christen is getting really good at assisting Tobes.

September The second round of victory tour games conclude at the beginning of the month, but Tobes and Chris are pretty adorable at open training before their second win over Portugal. Oh, Christen gets another assist so her total for 2019 is up to… 11! (that’s the leader of the national team). Then, it’s time for Battle of the Baes 2.0 and this time Christen comes out on top. Tobin ends up winning GOTW on week 23… hmm… and the Thorns clinch a playoff spot. Unfortunately, even with Christen’s header, Utah misses out again.

October After celebrating their 2019 Women’s World Cup win one more time, the victory tour games conclude in with a pair of games against South Korea. The first one is pretty uneventful, and so is the second (except for the sendoff). Tobin and Chris return to their clubs to play their last nwsl games of the season and the Thorns move on to the postseason. They face Chicago first and find themselves out of the championship game. However, Chris doesn’t seem to mind and makes her way to Portland pretty soon after. Something with re-inc seems to be brewing, but the end of the month marks the beginning of the offseason (after they play two friendlies in November, of course).

November The girls report to camp for the final time this year and everyone seems to be ready for the end of quite an incredible year but also new beginnings with a new coach. Christen and Tobin get a start against Sweden and Christen records another assist and her 50TH INTERNATIONAL GOAL!!! (Tobin may or may not fall to her knees again but that’s not important). Then, we get a TC hug and Tobin gets an assist of her own. Even after playing a game in freezing temperatures they still manage to both look adorably bundled after. The next game is even more fun than the first because Christen scores ANOTHER GOAL and we get ANOTHER TC HUG and to cap it all off we get CAPTAIN TOBIN. That’s right, CAPTAIN TOBIN (we almost got captain Christen but it’s okay). We were just barely coming down from that emotional high when the next night Pinoe brings the entire Gayng to the Glamour Awards. Tobin and Christen had a black and white moment and all I’m saying is they looked the best dressed. Re-inc launched their RWB collection and Tobin was the designer while Christen was a model. Then, Tobin decided to also be a model but in… Africa? That’s right, T and C went to South Africa for Grass Roots Soccer and they also enjoyed a safari or two before heading to London for the GRS Gala. Christen looked absolutely stunning (as always) at the event and there was no doubt that Tobin was there to support her. The holiday season has begun and at the end of the month, the girls went their separate ways to spend Thanksgiving with their families. The break was much needed and I’m sure they’re looking forward to an entire month off.

December Tobin and Christen enjoyed their month off by staying pretty quiet, but they did enjoy a snowy vacation towards the end of the month. Then, it was Christmas time and it seemed like a lot of gifts were from Tobin + Christen. Before CP’s bday could happen, they had to attend the WoSo Royal Wedding. They both looked stunning and it was just an unbelievable night in general. Finally, Christen celebrated her 31st birthday right before the decade came to an end. What a truly amazing year.

2020

January It’s the beginning of a new year and the end of the offseason, but it was still pretty quiet until the very end of the month. January Camp in Florida began in the middle of the month and didn’t stop for the 20 players named to the Olympic Qualifying roster. Obviously Tobin and Christen were and the team relocated to Texas to prepare for their group stage games of Olympic Qualifying. (Also re inc had another reset the table event). Christen started the first game against Haiti and scored a goal in the 2nd minute… talk about starting the year off with a bang. CP was also named the player of the match and she honestly seemed like she was the only one who wasn’t shaking off the rust. Unfortunately, Tobin missed out on the first game due to a slight strain but she was back in action against Panama. She even scored a no-look goal and didn’t think we would notice. Christen also added to her goal total and has now scored in 4 straight games. With two wins in their group, the USWNT has secured their spot in the semifinals and are one step closer to qualifying for the Olympics.

February Olympic Qualifying carried over into February and so did Christen’s goal scoring. CP scored two goals in the USWNT’s last group stage game against Costa Rica. The first goal she scored that game was an absolute banger and was eventually named the goal of the tournament. Also, Christen was named player of the match for the SECOND TIME of the tournament. The goal scoring didn’t stop because she scored another banger against Mexico after jumping on her own rebound. There was no way that ball wasn’t going in the back of the net. After all of this scoring and player of the match wins Christen was rightfully named best player of the entire CONCACAF tournament. She was absolutely glowing with her golden ball trophy before she gave it to her father (who was more than appreciative). Tobin was also feeling generous and gave her first place medal to a fan in the crowd (I guess that’s allowed?). After successfully qualifying for the olympics and remaining reigning CONCACAF champions, everyone had a slight break before training for the She Believes Cup began. Tobin and Christen were named to the roster, but before training could begin the gals had a photoshoot in the brand new olympic kits. I’m not saying Christen decided to debut her new engaygment ring at said photoshoot but I’m not not saying that. (Good job Tobin ;) ) It’s definitely not the offseason anymore and on February 29th, we were all leaping for joy that training camp had resumed in Florida.

March The whole gayng got to be aunties to Cassius in Florida during camp and apparently it was good luck because the USWNT won their first game in the She Believes Cup against England. It was definitely thanks to Christen’s absolute GOLAZO (the only thing she’s allowed to score against England). CHRISTEN PRESS what have you DONE. The USWNT didn’t stop and neither did Christen because in the next gain against Spain she assisted the winning goal in the 86th minute off a free kick. Christen and Tobin BOTH started against Japan and Christen was even at the number nine spot. Brownsuganumba9 lives on. It must’ve been an amazing position for her (who knew) because she scored another GOLAZO against Japan. It chipped the keeper and it was honestly filthy. CHRISTEN PRESS what did you DO. The USWNT won the She Believes Cup, but are still fighting the equal pay lawsuit against ussoccer. During the warm up of the final game of the tournament they all wore jerseys inside out to display the now iconic symbol of four stars with a blank crest. They’re in this together. Just as the USWNT played their last game, the entire world entered a quarantine. Everyone went home and it’s unclear when anyone will return to the field for club or country. However, in the midst of quarantine, there was a Surprise: Snow Storm! and Re-inc launched their posters. It has also allowed CEO Christen and the rest of the Re-inc team to start doing instagram lives in order to interact with fans. We’re in this together.

April This month began like the last one ended, still in quarantine, but that didn’t stop Re-inc from launching their BW capsule collection, but before that an absolutely INCREDIBLE photo was taken and it's pretty much the only major thing that happened this month. Thank you Miss Tobin Heath. However, all of the re-inc founders have been a lot more active on the account (probably because soccer is momentarily paused for right now). Christen found a Stacy plant and remembrance candle along with other plants for the rest of her fam. Tobin and Christen are most definitely quarantining in Portland together and will be for a while.

The following is when superdupergust took over.

May With quarantine still underway, May was all about the social media (which Christen used to flash that engaygement ring a few more times). Tobin took over re-inc's insta for a day, during which she got up surprisingly early, listened to jazz music, and killed us all with her thighs. Had you forgotten that Preath were living together? No? Well, they decided to bless us with a reminder anyway, in the form of a Zoom snippet in which T&C were adorably domestic. Then Christen surprised us with the a super gay picture of Tobin underneath a rainbow, thus winning Tobin Tuesday forever.

June Bigger and more important things were happening in June, but there were a few Preath happenings to note. Christen appeared on sportscenter and proved that she is queen of the nose boop. She was also interviewed on Load Management. Tobin debuted her ugly af new glasses, which sparked The Great Glasses Debate of 2020, and she also modeled the new Thorns kit, even though she won't be playing in it this year. We got lots of artist!Tobin content with the release of proxɘmics, and one photo was Super Extra Gay with the fridge in the background featuring not only gay art by Tobin, but a print out of a love poem Christen had posted on Insta several months before.

July July started off pretty quietly. Christen did another Instagram live - this time with chopra. re-inc teased and released the popsicle drop, but that was pretty much it. Until...THE DAY WE FUCKING DIED, PART TWO. Thanks to newly appointed gay icon Stacy's Pita Chips, we were suddenly inundated with a year's worth of content in a single day. Podcasts, pictures of T&C in the same frame, touching and looking absolutely smitten, videos where they both used terrible Zoom backgrounds to avoid giving the impression that they were in the same apartment...honestly, it was like something from a dream. Go buy some of their slightly overpriced but delicious chips right now, tbh. We owe them one. Alas, much as we would have liked July 16th to go on forever, it had to end. But the month still had one surprise up its sleeve, and it went out with a bang when Tobin decided to casually drop a pic featuring a very large new ring on a Very Important Finger. An engagement ring? A wedding ring? DEFINITELY one or the other, but no conclusive evidence as of yet. Everyone say a prayer for C to drop a pic in August...

August Alas, Christen did not provide any wedding ring evidence, but she did call Tobin her sun (if you squint a little). More cute popsicle pics dropped, and Tobin tried to murder us with her biceps. Christen did us another solid and confirmed herself as an Oregonian - we love to see it! The weeks passed, and it looked like nothing much was going to happen in August, and we were beginning to cry for content. But behold, the gods of football heard us, and we were surprised by unofficial news of T&C being loaned to Manchester United for the season...TOGETHER? Amazing. Incredible. Legendary. (Still waiting on that confirmation, though.)

September Stacy's Pita Chips is the gift that keeps on giving, and their gift this month was the first mentorship session. But it's time to get back to football, because on the tenth, it became official: Tobin and Christen would be finishing out the season at Manchester United...together. Cue screaming as Preath fans around the world suddenly began dreaming dreams of seeing them playing side-by-side once more! But football wasn't the only thing they were getting up to this month. Re-inc continued to be amazing, and teamed up with Michelle Obama and others for when we all vote. Fun side development: USWNT PA revealed that they ship Preath. How, you ask? They rolled out nothing other than a legit Preath shirt. Yes, for real. And they're not the only ones. Bless whatever Preath shipper secretly runs Manchester United's socials, because the content abounded throughout the month.

October Christen and Tobin made their debut for the Red Devils against Brighton & HA, during which Tobin got her first assist for United! Then they walked out barefoot onto the pitch together, like the marrieds they are. On the 7th, they played against Liverpool, then again on the 10th, against the Spurs. But the most exciting moment on the 10th happened just after the game...when Preath met baby Charlie (and Christen couldn't seem to keep her hands off of Tobin). Then came the 18th, vs West Ham, when Preath decided to pull off the Ultimate Football Wives move: they scored their first goals for United in the same game. In the next few days, they did some interviews together. Christen made the most adorable instagram post of all time, ostensibly as a promotion for the new re- source collection.

November November arrived, and the first game of the month was against Arsenal. Alas, neither of them scored, though Tobin did manage to get a nutmeg in under 50 seconds, because of course she did. A few days later, the expansion draft happened, and all hell broke loose when Louisville acquired the rights to both Tobin and Christen. They both stayed quiet about the change, though Tobin did not adhere to these same guidelines when she threw down some some fighting words in an interview about the upcoming Manchester Derby. Christen, meanwhile, monologued about the weather, and we loved her anyway. Then the Derby happened, and Tobin rocketed in an absolute beauty of a goal of the sort that begs to be watched on repeat. Soon, T&C were off to the Netherlands for the first USWNT camp in close to a year. In the showdown featuring the final two teams from the 2019 World Cup, Christen was starting #9, and she notched an assist just before halftime.

December We aren't the only Tobin fans, Barclays reveals when they name Tobin Player of the Month. The refs, however, aren't as convinced, and one gives her a yellow five minutes into extra time during the game versus Reading. That same day, Tobin's jawline alone converts thousands of TikTok users into woso fans (or at least causes them to briefly question their sexuality). Christen isn't playing, due to illness - non-COVID-related, thank goodness - but that doesn't stop her from being nominated for the USWNT 2020 Player of the Year. Three days later, she's doing well enough to be spotted in the stands at the game versus Everton. The game, sadly, ends in a loss, but it clearly serves as some hella good motivation. They emerge from the game versus Bristol City with a 6-1 victory, two of which are Tobin goals. The games are over for the year, but it's never been a better time to be a Preath fan, because in addition to posting several throwback pictures with Tobin on her social media over the month, Christen wishes us all a Merry Christmas (& you're welcome) by posting a picture of her and Tobin together. Interestingly, it's the same tree from Tobin's post earlier in the month. Almost like they're always in the same apartment or something. Crazy!

2021

January Sharing continues to be caring, because in addition to the Christmas tree, they also happen to share a cute lil plant. They're not always inside, though, because they go for a walk in the snow, and Christen makes some bigtime heart eyes. When the first game of the year rolls around, Tobin and Christen are both there, rather than at National Team camp, as when invitations went out, Christen was still sick, and Tobin chose to stay to help United in the January FA Women's Super League fixtures. Things take a turn, however, because Christen is the starting #9 against Chelsea, while Tobin stays on the bench all game, wearing trainers instead of boots. It's announced later that Tobin has an ankle injury, which will keep her off the field for the next 10-12 weeks, taking her out of commission for Manchester United but also ensuring she won't be competing in SheBelieves. Neither of them play in the next game, but on the last day of the month, Christen scores an absolute beauty of a goal against Everton. We can't wait to see what she has in store for February!

February It's February, and you know what that means: She Believes Cup time!! No Tobin, due to injury, but Christen is ready to rock! Things open up with a close game, as the USWNT squeaks by with a 1-0 victory against Canada. Christen scores in the 11th minute of the next game against Brazil and follows it up with an beauty of a goal in the 88th minute in the game against Argentina. With that, the US solidifies their spot as the winners of the 2021 She Believes Cup! Tobin, left behind in Manchester with nothing to do but post orange hearts on Instagram and root for her favorite girl, actually decides to join the UTD podcast and bless us with her smile as she talks about being the oldest person on the Manchester United squad.

March It turns out, Tobin did have some things keeping her busy in February - secret re-inc projects! Tobin reveals her new art, ADA (ADA as in Ada Lovelace, creator of the first computer algorithm, not as in the Americans with Disabilities Act, much to this author's initial confusion), a painting featuring binary code. CP is a proud wifey, as always. On the pitch, United plays against Aston Villa with no TC on the field, but Christen does show up looking all adorable with her beloved hot water bottle in tow. She plays in the following game against Arsenal, as well as the game against West Ham, where she scores a gorgeous goal! Back off the pitch, TC co-gift the world's largest and most expensive stuffed dog for Krashlyn's new baby daughter, Sloane, who dubs them aunties. (Take a moment to recover from the sheer cuteness.) They also *gasp* share a screen when joining in the background of the Equal Pay Day press conference at the White House, which is honestly enough to hold us over until July.

April April starts off with a bang that none of us could possibly have expected: Tobin tells Christen she loves her in a public forum, in the most adorkable way possible, causing a fandom-wide meltdown. Nothing else much happens on the Preath front this month, but this will honestly feed us for a year. With Tobin still working on recovery, Christen goes to national team camp solo, then starts against Sweden (1-1 draw) and France (2-0 USA). Back at Manchester, Christen scores a goal against Tottenham. Meanwhile, re-inc drops the Gamer Collection, and honestly no one besides Christen Press could make sweatpants look this good.

May May continues the quiet streak, but one high point is Christen becoming an ambassador for Goody hair products, which means lots of new pictures to make us (and also Tobin, probably) fall even more in love with her. She also plays her last game with Manchester United against Everton, during which she notches an assist. Once she is back stateside, she gets vaccinated. She also posts an adorable picture with her dogs, whom she has obviously missed, followed by a very LA-themed set of photos (which just might be some great foreshadowing for an event a few months following...). Tobin's radio silence is finally broken at the end of the month when she posts for her birthday, which she spends with her brother.

June June starts out on a Wild note when T&C lowkey get outed in a Pride Month Instagram story from the cake company they used for Tobin's birthday cake. The next day is Christen's sister's wedding, and Tobin is barefoot because of course she is. They add another piece of jewelry to their shared jewelry box. We also have another instance of our favorite Tobographer. Then it's time for soccer, and our favorite couple heads to Texas for camp, followed by the Summer Series. The first game is against Portugal, during which Christen gets her 40th career assist with the national team. Christen and Tobin can't wink or flirt, but they're still adorable. Next up is Jamaica, and Christen gets Woman of the Match. After that is Nigeria, and Christen scores the opening goal! We FINALLY get a look at the Olympics roster, including both T&C. Then, because June still has more to give, Christen takes over the re-inc insta for a day. As the saying goes, but wait, there's more! Christen and Tobin host a party for the reunite re-inc line. They look entirely too cute eating fruit together.

July July begins with the Send-Off Series, a two-game series against Mexico. AND BOY IS GAME ONE A GOOD ONE. Christen scores twice, and Tobin makes her grand return to football with an absolute banger basically two seconds after being subbed in. AND THERE ARE HUGS. SO MANY HUGS. IN THE RAIN. At one point they basically audition for the cover of a Nicholas Sparks novel. Then comes the second game, featuring the most ridiculous ref ever to ref, when an accidental whistle blow that players clearly didn't hear winds up disallowing an absolutely stunning Preath goal. But not to worry! We still win, and Tobin scores for the second game in a row (featuring another hug and an incredibly dorky celebration). (We're still salty, though.) Then it's officially Tokyo time! The 2021 "2020" Olympics begin with a game against Sweden that all of us would just very much like to forget. Next up is The One with All the Offsides Calls New Zealand. Both our gals get an assist, and Christen gets her first ever Olympic goal!! During practice, they're showing off some pretty out of control grounding heart eyes. Then history is made when Tobin and Christen actually post a re-inc video where they're in the same frame. And guess what? The world doesn't implode! The next game is against Australia, which ends in a nil-nil draw. But the important thing is that there's Preath hug, and in certain angles, it looks like a kiss (even though it isn't, alas). Then comes the game against the Netherlands, which is a 2-2 tie that goes to penalties. Christen is up, and every single person in the fandom collectively holds their breath, the 2016 Olympics running through our brains. But she makes it, and the camera immediately cuts to Tobin screaming her head off for her *cough*wife*cough* teammate. The US wins!

August The game against Canada sadly ends in a 0-1 loss. It takes away our chance for gold, but the silver lining (see what I did there?) is that the game is Tobin's 176th cap, officially moving her up to third place for most Olympic appearances in USWNT history. The US still has a chance for the bronze, and they play Australia for it...and emerge victorious! Christen finally has her Olympic medal!! In fact, she strangely seems to have two of them...wonder where she got the second...? The next day, the Olympic Village is the scene of some cute Preath moments, official and unofficial. Then Tobin gets on Instagram and ends the entire fandom with the absolute cutest post ever. The rest of the month is eventful: re-inc drops the Field of Flowers collection. There's a fan sighting in Jersey. And most importantly, CP to LA comes true! Angel City announces Christen as their first signing!

September The signing news doesn't end with Christen, though. Only a few days later, it's announced that Tobin is heading to Arsenal, her lifelong favorite team! LA continues to provide lots of Christen content. Which is nice, because Christen announces she's taking a short break from football to focus on herself. Therefore, Tobin is the only one at camp later in the month. The US plays Paraguay for back-to-back games, and sadly the Paraguayan national team doesn't let this author sneak aboard their plane to see the game in person. Still, the US wins decidedly with a final score of 9-0 on the first night and 8-0 on the second, with one of the goals in Game #1 coming from Tobin. Then Tobin is off to England. Christen also declares she'll be going on a journey...which also strangely happens to lead her to Tobin's first Arsenal game...and her second, where they share a hug after the game, despite not even being on the field together. We love to see it. :')

October In progress

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THE FOLLOWING IS ORIGINALLY FROM SKATERTOBIN'S BLOG:

Ok so here’s what we think went down:

2015 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AUGUST TO I WANNA SAY NOVEMBER? They get close during the victory tour, Chris being the only other person aside from Alex to be invited to Tobin’s 100th cap dinner and all and them sharing a seat at the White House. Basic stuff.

DECEMBER Christen tags along with Tobin on her Hawaii strolls (especially since both Cheney and ARod aren’t around for the Hawaii game). Wander around Waikiki Beach and hang out with Friends with Flowers in their hair and other fun things like that. Maybe Christen watches Tobin surf at some point and maybe Tobin teaches her how as well. 👀 Idk. But I’m positive swimming happens in cute bikinis because I mean.... it’s Hawaii!! 🙄 They they fly to NOLA for the last VT game. And Press is probs like “hey so where ya staying at after this (the China game)?” like while they’re walking along Bourbon Street where the Leather Jacket™ makes its first appearance. Then tobs is probs like “maybe Portland?” Then Chris is all “well that’s just a state away from where I’m headed wanna crash for a bit?” Then tobs, being the homeless little shit that she is, is maybe like “sweet can we go to the beach” then Christen is all “literally everyday” and then done deal. That’s that. So from there they take the same flight to LA from the NOLA airport. Why? Who knows but tbh Tobs maybe (definitely) stays in PV with Pressy and maybe (definitely) is the reason why Christen’s late to that boat parade at Newport with ARod and Whit cos you know... busy being a good host and such. But then it’s the holidays so we know Tobs would go home to her fam in the east coast for Christmas like the good daughter she’s supposed to be so she does, but she goes right back to LA to maaaaaybe celebrate Chris’ birthday. Boop. And you know since she’s already there they’re probably like, “why not spend New Year’s Eve together and train together at the TOCA center while we’re at it???” Like it’s the most obvious thing because I mean maybe they realize they’d be playing more together with Christen nally being close to a starting spot. Hawink!!!! Work on their chemistry as the kids call it because ya know... First Touch Is Everything™.

2016 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JANUARY So maybe Tobs flies back to spend New Years with fam again because Chris can’t have her forever. But also maybe not because that would have been very convinient since they get called in to camp in Cali shortly after. But I mean you know, who knows. But wtvr. So there they spend a lot of time together like going to the beach together and getting coffee together and entering and exiting the locker rooms and US soccer vans together. You know. Fun stuff. Then the SD game happens and then they all fly to their respective homes but Tobin doesn’t have a home remember so she invites Press to go to Portland with her and they hold hands at the airport while Press is wearing the Purple Hat™ and maybe they go to the Nike HQ together and go furniture shopping and then they have dinner at a fancy restaurant and Tobs shows Chris around her soon to be new home like a local. Then they fly back to LA because beastmode soccer is a thing and they wanna train and be beasts. And then in between they share sunsets together and play with Morena and Khaleesi and Tobin is snookums.

FEBRUARY It’s Olympic Qualifiers in Texas and well what do you know??? The little shits score a goal together, and then steal the van keys so they can go out on Valentine’s Day. There’s a monkey stuffed toy involved and I hate my life basically because @ god, why. 🔥 They go back to LA together after celebrating their Olympic qualifying win to watch the Arsenal vs Barça game in Santa Monica and have sushi together and also crash the u16 camp. Then they go back to PV and Fly Away™ because All We Need Is Love™. Also because christen has a fUCKING BODY ISSUE PHOTOSHOOT that they’re tOTALLY NOT SUBTLE ABOUT. Ok maybe they’re totally subtle. Kind of.

MARCH They go into the SheBelieves Cup in Florida and go Raw Juicin’ and jewelry shopping because that’s what gal pals do obviously. Chris probs tags along when Tobin hangs out with her French friends and they fly back together to NJ to meet Christen’s fam (who would have thought?!) and to NYC to Find Neverland. And then I mean imagine the goodbye for when they go their separate ways for the NWSL preseason and if you’re wondering how they’d cope, the answer is: Not well.

APRIL They meet again for the Orlando camp and they all gotta be lowkey and concentrate on the training but then the OCSC vs PTFC game happens and they’re not so slick and get accidentally recordedand Tobin’s like 🙅🙅🙅... So they train in Orlando and Colorado and win in Connecticut and Philly vs Colombia and then they play chess in between and have coffee. Turns out they’re new bus buddies too now Allie’s in camp. And maybe (definitely), Jill Ellis is a fangirl and ships the little shits together because suddenly Press is a right middy and Tobs is a right back. If not for the sole purpose of Foudy saying on live television that Tobin would be watching Christen’s ass the entire game, basically. Anyway. CAPTAIN Tobs gets some winking action caught on camera and we’re all just gone. Adios. Goodbye.

MAY NWSL starts back up and we’re all excited but also sad because preath but they’re fine and we’re being dramatic but not as dramatic as them because apparently they desperately miss one another??????.... So like, when Chicago plays in Seattle the same weekend Portland plays at home, what else would Tobs do right? Would she drive four hours to watch the game? The answer is yes. But why right???? WHYYYYY???? Because obviously, Press in the west coast means some much needed quality time in Portland i.e. a double date at a fancy vineyard with a view and some tacos.

JUNE The games vs. Japan happen in Denver and happen in Cleveland and that’s apparently not enough for them because Tobin tags along with Press and the Chicago girls to watch the MehNT and the Jumbotron loves them just as much as they do each other. The two part series of a battle of the baes in the CHIvsPOR NWSL games starts in Chicago and ends in Portland so naturally (duh) Press stays in Portland so the little shits could have private training sessions together before flying to Chicago again. Fuckers. (Honestly it’s not practical but thEY INSIST)

JULY The game vs South Africa happens after which they conveniently skedaddle ahead of everyone else in a separate car because of dinner reservations at yet another fancy restaurant. They both make it to the Olympic 18 and they “celebrate” it by going on a not-so romantic getaway to the ESPYS in LA and then they have dinner with Alex and Allie because like, Press probably (I’m sensing a theme, are you?) gotta have an initiation of sorts because things bout to get serious. 💁 But well Tobin gets an initiation of her own too so they’re even. 😅 But well, Tobin gets They head into camp in KC then win their Olympic send off game against CRC👀 and fly again to camp in DC with the NJ crew and chill before flying aGAIN for the Olympic Games !!!

AUGUST They get to Brazil and have a killer Olympics .............Can you believe the Olympics got cancelled this year?????? Amazing. Anyway. That’s irrelevant. What’s not irrelevant though!!!!!! is them coming back to the states!!!! But instead of going straight home, the little shits get a connecting flight from Chicago (to probably get stuff??) to Portland together to get away from it all. Some good music, good coffee, a little kite flying and some R & R with good company and suddenly all is right in the world again. 👍 NWSL regular season to look forward to.

SEPTEMBER So like, the NWSL starts up again right and they go their separate ways and you’d think they’d calm down a bit but BITCH YOU THOUGHT because they secretly meet up again because Press is Tobin’s plus one at her sister’s wedding in Rhode Island and she’s even invited to the rehearsal dinner which is “for immediate family and the bridal party only”. Cyb Press is considered immediate family?????? I can’t TBH. Anyway. That’s only for the weekend though because they gotta get back to their teams to play and try and get berths to the playoffs.... which they boTH DO!! Nice. NT training camp follows and it’s in Columbus so oBVIOUSLY Ms. Portland’s gotta fly in a day early to the east coast to meet up with Captain Chicago & Co. and we find out that Tobin’s tired af and that JJ is a shipper. 😌 Then Columbus happens where we finally get the goal celebration we truly deserve and where the whole stadium empathizes with two college dudes who are like “damn bro, number 12 ain’t straight”. And we can’t forget the regular coffee date . I swear to god it’s an addiction at this point. The game in Georgia isn’t as eventful as the last time we played the Netherlands but I guess it isn’t short of hearteyes. 😍

OCTOBER So anyway. Can you believe the NWSL gets canceled after the Thorns win the shield???????? This “playoff match” doesn’t actually happen. It’s true. Press just visits Portland to go mermaidingwith Tobin. (Euphemism? We may never know) So after then they fly to LA for a Sia concert because they can. But anyway, remember when we thought we got the goal celebration we deserved during that Thailand game? WRONG. Apparently the Swiss have other ideas because we’re all blessed and I’ve never felt more alive than I’ve ever felt in my life in this moment. And we almost get a repeat performance but I mean I guess it’s true lighting doesn’t strike the same place twice. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ̄ or something like that. La Blanquita goes Batista a few days later and Tobin has been established as a pretty useless maid of honor but I mean, she looks cute and her outfit repeater of a plus one (who is yet again invited to the rehearsal dinner!!!!!) looks cute too.

NOVEMBER At this rate is it even still surprising they’re practically living together? Portland Preath gets a part /something/ (because honestly who the fuck is still keeping track? Hint: not me) So Press Painting rainbows in an oversized, expensive ass Pride shirt in Tobin’s Portland kitchen is a thing thanks to Tobin’s (not Kling’s. Gotta make that clear.) very distinguishable floorboards and countertops. And apparently Press is practically a Thorn at this point, too, what with all that ball-kicking and strength training in Providence Park? Yeah. Ikr. Gross. They come to NorCal (to have coffee with a baby for practice) for the first Romania game and CYB they have chemistry on the field????? Like who woulda thunk?!?!?!?!? Also Press gets a hatty because she’s???? good???? at????? soccer????? (Also Christen brings herself sandwiches during games. Tobin doesn’t but CP ain’t selfish. If yanamsayin. Also, they’re literally married. Just thought you’d like to know.) K so anyway, boop boop, ROU part 2 aka the SoCal game becomes the perfect finish to the USWNT calendar year eSPECIALLY for the little shits because not only do we all get Blessed™ with another Preath goal, but basically Preath saves 2016 via great passes, bedroom eyes and hand holding. (PRESS SCORING AND ASSISTING IN EVERY GAME SINCE SWITZERLAND BTW????? Like, thank you, Tobin.) So no more games for the rest of the year, but that will not stop them from doing couple things because!!! They!!!! Are!!!!! Little!!!! Shits!!!!! The zenpups think so too. But anyway! It’s the return of Sunsets and Snookums in LA can you believe!!!!! There’s a romantic museum trip somewhere in the mix and some soccer on the beach too! Chris realizes then that her true passion is to be part of the circus and it’s all because of Circuit Bouldering in Portland (read: their home). Or I guess a second home because looks like Chris finally gets settled into her new house by the beach for a hot minute to enjoy rainbows before jetting off again. ✈

DECEMBER Right so Grassroot Soccer holds a gala and Christen is the guest of honor also it’s Tobin’s turn to be a plus one (and to a red carpet event at that!) in frEAKING LONDON and they’re both beautiful and I’m dead. I’m also thinking Chris is the one that scored them tickets to the Arsenal game the night before the gala because she is whipped and In LoveTM. Gross. They don’t stop there though because they think they’re sneaky Pete about watching El Clasicowith the fam (aka Allie & Bati) BUT NO!!!! You caught muthafuckas! There’s dancing in alleyways and reconnecting with old Spanish friends, too. Gross x 2 Euro trip continues in Sweden and Tobin and Christen literally sit on a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G and it’s all so scenic and romantic. Gross x 3 Well, I didn’t think they’d ever come back from their European bae-cation, but they do and it’s straight to Portland for some Christmas decorating and Tobin wins POTY to make up for this shitty year so they celebrate by getting some coffee and tacos and training - their faves. Duh. It’s kind of a quiet Christmas, celebrating with their own friends and family but I mean, it’s Pressy’s birthday. So they reunite and go hiking in LA and Christen gets a new name. Hi Kristen! 🖐

2017 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JANUARY After ringing in the New Year with skiing and kisses (probably), Chris spends time in Portland, having shakes and breakfast with the bae. They go back to LA coming out of their own little bubble because it’s January training camp season and I’m having major flashbacks with them riding together to training and being locker room buddies! Their off day is as glorious as we’d expect, with some beach time and fun. (Thanks to JJ for being a shipper.) And we’re also blessed with Allie Long and a Harry Video. After camp, they’ve got a ton of down time so it’s the perfect opportunity to go chilling by their beach house. I say “their” because there’s a stray surfboard lying around and I’m sure as hell it ain’t Christen’s. 💁

FEBRUARY The next camp for SheBelieves isn’t til later on in the month so they fly back to home number 2 aka Portland to chill and be low key, watching Tove Lo on their date night. Tobin has a little photoshoot where she's in all her sweaty glory and itty bitty shorts and Christen flies off on her own for a bit for an appearance then it’s back to Portland for a low key vday. And then camp starts up and it feels like a drought but really, we’ll take what we can get. And what we get are matching backpacks and Harry.

MARCH The SheBelieves Cup starts really well with an Allie IG takeover (which is always gold js) and we’re blessed with cameos of the lovers slash bus buddies!! And we see that age old Preath Connection that we know and love. We even get a possible date night in between!!!! The second game is a doozy but the most important takeaway is that they’re literally married. From the bus to the locker rooms, from the bench all the way to the sidelines. Married. Wives. For life. Fact. Even the Press Pack is supportive. Last game of the tourney and it was a loss. Lol. Anyway. They were trying to be sneaky and we learn that the fams are at the games together to support them. That’s it. Next. There’s a lot of debate about whether or not Tobin calls Christen “babe” because we’re all thirsty but there’s also the thing about helping Chris move to her new Chicago apartment so insert Oprah what’s the truth gif here. And then before the month ends, there’s a perfectly planned preseason tournament in Portland. Right before which Press kidnaps Tobin and escapes to LA for some hula dancing and pineapples, and then brings her back because plus ones at weddings are overrated (not). But the tourney goes on and Tobin’s not playing but she’s enjoying her box in the stands. Meanwhile, Christen just wants to say hi.

APRIL Not much really happens because they’ve suddenly gone 100% stealth mode, with Tobin injured and not able to travel and all, but thanks to a little tweet we see that on NWSL opening day there was still some sort of support aka Tobin watching the Chicago game while on the stands for the Portland home opener. It’s better than nothing right? Oh and when Chicago visits PDX for the 3rd game, Chris gets taken down and Tobin looks away because she probably can’t watch it without going apeshit idk. Same. Anyway, Chris sends smiles towards the box and I guess I’m okay with that.

MAY “what injury?!” Tobin then says as she boards a flight to Chicago after the Thorns game to bear witness to/be the reason behind the end of the drought (goals & content tbh thank you). Cyb her back died so CRS could rise? Meanwhile to pass the time though Tobs becomes Asst Director for the Thorns youth program and paints for bae. And right after their respective weekend home games, Press ies out to PDX for Tobin’s birthday shebang. Tobin picks her up from the airport and takes her to her party and everything!

JUNE A couple of friendlies abroad happen but since Tobs is injured she’s off the roster but she does somehousewarming for Chris til she gets back from practicing on babysitting Cash. So after that, getting back into the swing of things in the NWSL is easy for Chris but unfortunately Tobin still can’t play so the next best thing is staying together in ChiTown to keep the blues away for like.... 2 weeks.

JULY ...Tobin’s still injured. But at least she has some fresh shoes (and expensive sliders)! And Press spends some time in LA to keep her company at rehab. Some people thought July was gonna be the first month we don’t get any content and Press personally makes sure it isn’t during the Chi vs Orl game on lifetime.

AUGUST We have a weird Tournament of Nations and it’s probably because Tobin’s back hasn’t resurrected yet but in the last game in LA, we get a rare sighting of a stud at training so maybe we’ve still got a shot. I mean I guess 2nd place in our own tournament isn’t so bad? Kinda? But whatever. What’s important is the roller blading that happens the days after. And then it’s time for CHIvsPOR. And after that, Tobin’s back in LA hanging out with Chris’ sister and bro-in-law at a bar because you know, they’re close or whatever.

SEPTEMBER Ok so it’s been quiet but it’s not because of anything crazy. They’ve just done better at the privacy thing. Good on them you know ? But anyway. They reunite in Colorado and Cincinnati.

OCTOBER The final regular season match is conveniently in Portland and unfortunately, they end up not playing each other in the semis so Chicago has to book a flight to NC but Chris still makes sure to enjoy her time. So after the uswnt game that Tobs has to sit out, the only time we have proof that Tobin is still alive is the Century 21 event in Arizona. Meanwhile Chris is back home with her pups in LA. But Tobs flies to get in on the puppy love but we only know through her shadow and when they turn into wine moms for a night.

NOVEMBER Fall this year is coming along quite nicely but not as nice as it is in Portland, probably, because there are Trainbows, says Chris! In Canada Chris serves some gross hearteyes despite the fact that Tobin’s been sidelined due to injury. They have the last game of the year in Cali and it kickstarts the swaggin they do together. And then November ends with a bang with them posting about flying to london for a red carpet event!

DECEMBER Said red carpet event is the annual Grassroot Soccer Gala. (And this time Tobin doesn’t go ghost!) And they just wander around taking good pictures and visiting friends and watching football! Thanks HAO! Thanks Crystal! And then they’re back to being Domestic!Preath canoodling in their LA loft by the beach, chillingand hangin out with friends and being Christmassy and such.

THE FOLLOWING IS NOT FROM SKATERTOBIN'S BLOG. IT'S FROM PREATH-THINGS

DECEMBER (CONT.) Christmas rolls around, and they end up going back to their respective fams, meeting back up in Portland some days later. They spend New Years eve snowboarding and just chilling in the snow with their friends. 👌

2018 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JANUARY New Years is spent in Portland going sledding, but they eventually head back down to California so Tobin can get her ankle fixed. January camp happens without Tobin. But it's fine because Christen and Tobin spend every other moment together, watching sunsets in the rain and Tobin's having a super duper good recovery. Christen finds a new club in the NWSL, surprise! After the friendly against Denmark, they're back to spending all their time together, holding water bottles and attending conferences.

FEBRUARY Tobin has a new job ! Modelling for the new Mercurials in London, whilst also showing off her piano skills, which Christen's obviously heard before with there being a keyboard and all hanging around at their places. Tobin continues her modelling career in LA because the shoes are orange so of course she would. Christen on the other-hand pays a quick visit to houston then reports to camp. Tobin's still out and not playing soccer because remember she's still trying out her modelling career.

MARCH The SheBelieves Cup happens. Or maybe it doesn't. Debatable, considering Christen is bascially nowhere to be found on the pitch, and there's little evidence of her even being at camp. Tobin's also too busy moving from her modelling career to her acting career to be there and play. The uswnt wins the cup somehow anyway. Christen goes back to Portland after the cup and it's a bit quiet but Tobin and Christen are spending some quality time together so isn't that really all that matters? Another surprise ! Christen doesn't want to be with her new NWSL club. So she's heading to Sweden to relive some good times instead, but not before flying kites with Tobin. Tobin also paints a few things inlcuing a 9 post equality sign because she's just that extra.

APRIL Christen returns to her happy place. 🇸🇪 She signs with Kopparbergs/Göteborg FC and scores goals, lots of them. To the absolute surprise of everyone (read: no one) she's named April player of the month in the Damallsvenskan! Tobin decides to put both her modelling and acting careers on hold in an attempt to try her luck at the soccer thing again. Also, being the supportive gal pals that they are, and separated by an ocean, they get into the habit of liking each others instagram posts every so often.

MAY There are pool parties, sea dips and visits to Norway for Christen, during all of which she proves she did in fact pack Tobin's entire closet, accessories and style before she left PDX. Still separated by an ocean, not really too much happens, other than each of them continuing to practice the liking option on each others instagram posts.

JUNE It's Pride Month 🌈 and Pride Month Delivers. Tobin is called up to national team camp for the first time since forever because her ankle seems to be a-okay, and Jill remembers Christen exists all of a sudden and also calls her up. Which means the two lovebirds finally get to reunite in Utah after months of being super long distance. This officially kicks off Pride month celebrations across the globe. Tobin feels 'tight' prior to the game and decides not to join in on the first Pride month celebration of the USWNT aka the first game against China, instead opting to chill and watch the game from the stands. After Tobin sees the Utah Royals owner get down on one knee in front of her girl, she decides it's time to remind the world that Christen is her's by posting a selfie with her and her gal pal. Christen seems to like the photo too and decides to also repost it because it's pride month after all and you gotta spread the love or something. And that's not the only thing she seems to like, deciding to swap clothes with her girl for their date to the Cavs game. Chris wears Tobin's Cavs jersey, like the traitor she is because apparently whilst it might be the wrong team, it's the right number (in other words words.. the things you do for love, and to wear something with the #23). Pride month continues to deliver with the second game against China and what better way to celebrate pride month by marking the game as Christen's 100th cap?!! Oh there are better ways, says the universe or something because Christen assists a goal in the first half, Tobin enters the match in the second half, and we are blessed with a pREATH GOALl!!! or alternatively a small game of keepy uppy between the two lovebirds which ends up with a ball at the back of the net and a Preath celebration we deserve, whichever you prefer to call it. Pride camp ends, but not before Chris makes sure to just leave one last mark on her time in Cleveland. After flying off together to Chi town, they go their separate ways and Chris returns to Sweden. But it seems that Pride month has one last piece of magic to make happen, and Christen's caught up in another big tangle of a messy trade within the NWSL, which lands her in Utah. A trade she accepts. She is now officially royalty. A queen. 👑 Soon after Chris arrives at her new club, Tobin takes a quick pit stop there on her way back from Houston, because obviously she gotta help her girl settle in to her new home away from home.

JULY So it’s the Fourth of July and the new royalty/royals, Chris and Sam decide it’s a great idea to celebrate it by buying food to grill even when neither of them know how to turn on a girl grill! Stuck on how to turn on the offending cooking appliance, Chris uses a lifeline and chooses to phone a (girl)friend. Grill Master Tobin pulls through and saves the day. Not that Christen wants anyone to know that Tobin did (gotta mute those instastories, you know?), but Sam does (thanks Sam!). At the same time, Laura decides to inform the world that Christen lives in Portland (thanks Laura!). The Battle of the Baes returns to Portland for 2018 and it ends with a hug and a kiss drinks back at home. Then it's back to Utah for Chris. The Tournament of Nations happens again and it’s not as weird as the previous year’s (probably because Tobin decides to join in this time around). To prepare for the games, Christen returns home to Portland so the two lovers can visit the Nike HQ, go berry picking and dream about pies. Gotta have that pre-camp preparation and relaxation at home with your SO, you know?! The first game of the tourney is against Japan, and it ends with a W and has Tobin subbing on for Christen. There’s shoulder rubs and hip taps and some airport shenanigans. Remember how Tobin was subbed on for Chris? Chris is subbed on for Tobin in the next game against Australia! It’s now completely apparent that Jill deems having both of them playing at the same time to be just Too Dangerous for opposing teams due to their ridiculous on and off the pitch chemistry. She’s clearly just sparing the opposition from a super embarrassing defeat. Good tactic. Chris’ fam comes to say hi in Connecticut 🖐️

AUGUST The tourney continues and there’s some team pictionary bonding prior to their final ToN game against Brazil. The Brazil game ends with a Tobin goal and assist, a win and a trophy, as the uswnt finally win the tourney!!!! Also, at this stage it's questionable whether the two are trying to be sneaky or not anymore with Chris throwing literal heart eyes at Tobin at the start of the game, and Tobin putting her arm around Chris' shoulder at the end. 🤷 After the ToN it’s back to their clubs and it’s a bit quiet, but I mean as to be expected. What’s not expected however is the shenanigans that happen prior to the NT's first Chile game back in Christen’s hometown. It’s CP's 100th cap celebration, and Tobin pOSTS her girl a congratulatory post ??? Picture, profile tag, emojis and all?? If you thought the girl would stop there with her public celebration of her bae's 100th cap celebration, you'd be d e a d w r o n g. Tobito also proudly wears Christen’s name on her back ??? somewhat earlier than anyone's anticipated ??? Chris has her ceremony, and Tobin literally has the proudest smile, which you could probably see from space— and it’s debatable whether a tear escapes her eyes during the ceremony, but who could blame her if one did?? So it’s game time and we finally get the long-awaited Captain Press, and it’s everything we could’ve dreamed of!!!! Truly spectacular. Tobin gifts Christen with a PK, which she perfectly finishes because she’s Chris. But there’s a big commotion and suddenly the goal doesn’t count???? Because the ref is apparently trying to ruin Chris’s day ??? and doesn’t know the rules of soccer like at all??? Tobin won’t hear of it obvs— leading the rest of the team as they storm up towards the ref with wagging fingers and pitchforks at halftime, whilst at the same time the Press Pack is up in arms. But it’s (semi) fine in the end because Chris gets another goal anyway (it's beautiful)— capping off the perfect night and a perfect victory in the most perfect place. ❤️❤️ Talking about perfect, both Chris and Tobs are also the most perfect human beings, donating their jerseys from the game to TWLOHA.

SEPTEMBER The second game against Chile only features Tobin, but before and after the game she’s wearing a t-shirt that looks strangely like a Supreme-branded shirt with the letters P R E S S spelled out ?? Anyways it's another victory for the team, and everyone eventually heads back to their clubs for the final week of regular season. Then it's postseason time, and Chris returns to Portland to train alone 👎, whilst Tobs is off training with her club. The Thorns play their semifinal game and get the W, obvs cheered on by Chris in the stands. Weirdly enough though, the NWSL championship game for 2k18 just..... never happens ????? Super strange. (Although if it did, Chris was once again there, cheering her girl on) Anyways the season's over, and another season begins— the offseason (aka the best season) where the love birds stroll the streets of Portland (probably holding hands or something cute) and get ready for camp. Although it looks like they might've received the wrong memo about what kind of camp they had coming up— as they end up in the wilderness of Oregon.. camping? And debatably skinny dipping? Who knows?! Is there actually a bikini strap around Tobs's neck? Who knows?! What we do know is that they only packed one suitcase, Christen's gone granola, and the two eventually head on out of there once they realize they're most definitely at the wrong camp— heading off to NC for the camp they were actually meant to be at.

OCTOBER It's World Cup Qualifiers time, and Chris and Tobs score some goals, Chris has suddenly grown a dragonfly on her arm, and sometime between their last uswnt game and the qualifiers, the two nerds have created their own little handshake— because Chris wanted in on the whole handshake club (who could blame her tbh). So the uswnt qualify for the world cup (!!!!!), and the love birds go and celebrate by showing off their Spanish 101 knowledge in Mexico, and literally murdering everyone by posting photos from their beach and infinity pool photoshoots ??? Like cool, it's not like we were trying to live or anything, right ?? Nah. Oh yeah they're also not being subtle about the fact they're in literally the same place either. But you know what, subtle schmutle thinks Chris, as she posts a boomerang of Tobs and her at tees + jeans like it's like no big deal you know like, whatever. They head to pdx to stand in the fall leaves and take more photos of each other.

NOVEMBER                                                                                                        So there’s a couple USWNT friendlies abroad which Tobs and Chris don’t join in on due to personal and family commitments (respectively), but it's okay (kinda) because they instead visit an art museum together— fitting right in as the works of art that they are. Oh yeah Tobin seems to be the newest Royals signing? and she's also number 21. Tobs and Chris have a New York minuteweek— jumping into ball pits and casually posting an instastory of themselves together, because obvs it's nbd. They also spend some quality time around thanksgiving with Tobin's fam.

DECEMBER                                                                                                      The two head back west and drop by stubhub to give some inspirational pep talk to some young athletes at Nike’s, Play Like a Pro thing and also so Pressy can grand marshal the PV Christmas lights parade ! They also do some toca training, lab visiting, sunset watching, more training/testing and family photo taking. So they basically spend a whole lotta time together— training and being cute and shit ❤️️❤️. They might've headed to Florida also during this time but no one's 100% sure, and it's all a bit of guesswork and squinting. Whatever the case, they were together during most of month because offseason means, barely leaving the bae's side season, until Christmas that is— where they go their separate ways for a couple days. But then it’s Pressy’s birthday aka Christmas 2.0, so Tobs jets back to the west coast to join in on the celebrations, because obviously the best/most important present is Tobin's presence, duh. So they're finally back together in the west coast for the remaining days of 2018, and they finish the year by watching sunsets off rooftops, and preparing to see in the new year together. 💕

THE FOLLOWING IS WHEN PREATHBAR (ME) TOOK OVER.

2019  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

JANUARY It’s 2019! Tobin and Christen ring in the new year much like they ended the last one. They play some beach volleyball, To(es)bin watches some premier league, they continue training, Chris gets lost in LA, makes sure we know she’s feeding Tobin, and finally, they watch the last sunset in LAfor two weeks😂 lol. Before the fun of camp can start, they get delayed at the airport AND TOBIN ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGES CHRISTEN’S EXISTENCE. It’s fine. We’re all okay from that. (Also Tobin has some Tibetan prayer beads on?) Christen tells us you can’t mess with her zen and they eventually make it to January Camp in Portugal. Because they can’t live without a sunset, they find some (arguably better) ones on a beach in Portugal. Jan Camp finishes up and as luck would have it the whole team gets delayed this time and Tobin passes the time by playing Mario Kart. The orange and pink Kånken bags make a reappearance and of course, Tobes and Chris are airplane buddies. They arrive in Le Havre, France and everyone is still blissfully ignorant about the future events. Apparently, Tobin took a knock during camp and is held out of the first game on precaution so it is CP vs France. Literally and figuratively. The game against France goes very well, and we’re all so glad THAT game was the one on the weekend. After that *ahem* rough, game it’s time to move on and the team makes their way to Alicante, Spain where Tobes and Chris enjoy a day out and about. Tobin seems to have recovered and gets a start against Spain, CP doesn’t, but after a 0-0 first half, Jill decides to sub her in and SHE SCORES A FREAKING (GAMEWINNING) GOAL. The wives only get to play together for 20ish minutes, but we are treated to plenty of Preath content during and after the game. First, there’s the goal celebration that includes a Tobes head pat and a wink from the one and only Christen Press 😉. At halftime, there’s some hand holding glove holding, but after the game we witnessed a to a PreathTackle™ via Tobin Heath. She’s just so proud of her girl she can hardly contain her emotions (and we can’t either 😭). They return to LA after the madness in Europe just in time to catch a sunrise. 

FEBRUARY So very early on into the month, Tobin literally comes out of the blue with her “The Ones” interview while promoting the new Air Jordans, and let me tell you, the photos were anything but chill. The go on a little daytime date 💙 and Christen shows off her many rings. After that, Christen decides to prove that Tobin’s not the only model in the family and hits us with the behind-the-scenes of her photoshoot with localemagazine. Stay tuned until May for our Covergirl. Shortly, our family of models decides to return to their day jobs and attend camp in Tampa, FL for the She Believes Cup. They can’t help but be attached at the hip while they’re there (and we’re not complaining).  The team makes their way to Philly and Tobin, Chris, and Ash go on a little stroll where Preath proves, yet again, that they exist in the same universe. USWNT vs Japan is first up and again, Christen comes off the bench and makes an immediate impact with an assist, giving the US the lead. She also gets smacked in the face but it's okay because Tobes makes sure to check up on her. We also definitely win the game and don’t waste all that work CP did by letting them tie it up.

MARCH After the performance against Japan, the team sets their sights to England at camp. To celebrate the “SheBelieves spirit” they all wear the name of an inspirational woman of their choosing on their backs. Christen chooses the unproblematic fave of Sojourner Truth and Tobin chooses Doris Burke, who was very moved by the gesture. Before the game, Christen gives Tobin her stick of gum bc CP still isn’t starting. Unfortunately, the team seems to play as if they are the names on their back and tie. AGAIN. Maybe it was just the cold because Tobes and Chris almost miss the plane back to sunny Florida, but after quickly boarding the gayng gets to sit together. With one more game left, it looks almost impossible for the US to win the tournament, AND WE DON’T, but we manage to win our last game 1-0 with a goal by the one and only Tobin Heath. Unfortunately, it’s now Chris’ turn to make sure Tobin is okay after a hard foul. Before we take a break from the USWNT for a little while, the World Cup kits are announced with a plethora of promotion. Tobin and Christen both return to their club teams and Tobin does some more promotion for the Thorn’s new kits and sixstar. Christen returns to LA to play some preseason games with Utah and while she’s there she is reunited with Morena and Khalessi. CP is announced as the honorary falconer for the LAFC game and reminds us that if the animal isn’t a dog, she’s slightly intimidated. Tobin also plays a preseason game for Portland and apparently tears it up, but her time with the Thorns is cut short when they both re-port for camp and are re-united for the April Friendlies.

APRIL Camp slowly starts to wind down as the upcoming friendlies draw closer, but not before some exciting news. LUNA Bar announces on equal payday that they will cover the World Cup roster bonus pay gap for the entire US Women’s National Team! It is revealed that Christen was one of the “chief architects of the team’s current collective bargaining agreement” and she reminds us how smart and beautiful she is in several different interviews. Then, we are provided with an amazing picture that only confirms that Tobin and Christen are bus buddies (in case we somehow forgot). Press is not only smart and beautiful, but she’s also talented at this game of soccer and helps the team win over Australia in an overly dramatic sort-of way. Tobin notches a goal over Australia, but she doesn’t get any minutes against Belgium. CP, however, plays a full 90 minutes and provides 3 assists off of set pieces!!! Nobody seems to notice though. After two successful friendlies with the National Team, they return to play their first (and last for awhile) games for their NWSL teams. Tobin earns POTY with the Portland Thorns and later, an absolutely wild game is played against Chicago. Meanwhile, Press proves what a class act she is in Utah and notches an assist in her first game and then a goal in the second. Just as they start to settle in, we all sadly realize they have to leave their club teams, even though we STILL don’t have a WC roster, but we do get a bunch of amazing gifs. After her game in Orlando, Christen stays a while in Miami where she shows us her coconuts and does lots of promo before we finally get the announcement we were all patiently waiting for. HuLU hAS LivE spOrTS!

MAY On the first of the month, Tobes and Chris are spotted at the Hulu Upfronts with several other soccer players, looking as gorgeous as ever. Eventually, after virtually the entire roster being known beforehand, USsoccer drops the 2019 Women’s World Cup Roster and Tobin Heath is going to her third World Cup while Christen Press is going to her second, but they’re doing it together this time. With the announcement of the roster, everyone heads to camp before the last of the send-off series games. (Oh and also there’s an incident with Tobin in a button up and her shoulder but whatever. It’s fine.) Remember that “re-” thing Tobin, Christen, Pinoe, and Kling kept teasing/we thought it was an inside joke? Well, it turns Rɘ-inc is an entire company the ladies are starting and they strive to rɘ-imagine rɘ-invent rɘ-configure, and rɘ-volt (to name a few). They are set to launch June 2017 2019 and we can only hope to be blessed with more photos of Tobin wearing... boxers? The first friendly is played against South Africa, and Tobin and Chris actually get to start together, but still, a preath-goal alluded them the entire game. Do you remember back in February when we saw the behind-the-scenes of CP’s shoot with localemagzine? Well now it’s May and Christen is officially a cover girl and I swear they’re all trying to kill us before the World Cup because no one should be allowed to look that hot, but it's Christen so why are we surprised? The penultimate send-off game against New Zealand goes off with little fan-fare (but the girls do notch goals and/or assists). The team seems to have the weekend off before playing their last game and of course, Tobin and Christen return to Portland and decide to watch the Blazers play the Warriors in the Conference finals. How do we know they were at the game? I mean, other than the fact the CP posted a story on Instagram about Nike making Tobes’ dreams come true you could LITERALLY SEE THEM ON LIVE TV BC THEY HAD SECOND ROW FLOOR SEATS BEHIND THE BENCH. Let’s just say we all suddenly cared a lot about basketball that night. A few days later the USWNT heads to New York, is surprised in time square (where T&C are bus buddies, duh), attends GMA, and has Media Day at Twitter’s headquarters. It was a content overload. We never get a break either because few days after that they play their last send-off series game against Mexico and guess what; Tobin and Christen BOTH SCORE (goals)!!! Most would think that having an afternoon game means that the rest of the day is for relaxing and recovery… well, you’d be wrong. Apparently, it’s time for the launch party of Rɘ-Inc and Christen is wearing a Suit. I repeat a Suit at the party and Tobin is wearing a black dress. They both looked absolutely incredible. Rɘ-inc provides us with a lot of amazing content throughout the month. It’s a quick turn around again and the NT now makes their way to London for their final training before the World Cup starts. It’s also Tobin’s 31st birthday and we all hoped and prayed that Christen would post something for it and luckily, she didn’t disappoint.

JUNE It’s officially World Cup Time, but not before a little camp and because the US plays last there’s still time for them to release their 23 stories even after the tournament has officially started. And since we’ve got the time, ESPN announces that Tobin Heath will be profiled on their next E60 special. Tobin finally opens up about… playing soccer… and also her family. In the end, the whole interview makes us love Aunty To-To even more (if that’s even possible) and the unredacted interviews in a podcast are definitely worth the listen. As the last game of the first round of group stage games commences, the USA finally gets their chance to shine, and in a historic 13-0 win against Thailand, boy do they make a controversial statement. Christen notches an assist after she’s subbed in for Tobin because they would be too powerful together on the field. After a few days of rest (and being caught on a live stream with their arms around each other), they play their next game against Chile and while they don’t win 13-0 (which is mostly because Christen gets denied so many times) 3-0 qualifies them for the round of 16. Next up is Sweden and they win 2-0 where Tobin even scores a goal! (Fifa says it’s an own goal but there are lots of things we don’t like about Fifa). Getting first in the group means Spain is our Round of 16 opponent and after a bit of suffering, and Christen’s 2 whole minutes of play time, we win 2-1. Then, it was time for the most anticipated match of the World Cup. A quarterfinal between the USA and France in Paris. SPOILER ALERT: WE WON MOTHERFUCKERS and we even got an adorable hug afterward. Tobin scored ANOTHER GOAL but Fifa is plotting against her and it was called offsides. Now a semifinal versus England awaits.

JULY So… I don’t even know where to begin with this absolutely crazy month. All I can say is... you’re not ready. Guess what! Christen got the start against England and silenced all her skeptics in the 10th minute when she scored a beautiful header! After falling to the ground in pure emotion, Tobin basically nuzzled her head into Chris’s neck in celebration and it was an absolutely beautiful moment for many reasons. The US went on to win and the final would be the USWNT vs the Netherlands. After waiting a little longer to score than usual, THE UNITED STATES WOMEN’S NATIONAL SOCCER TEAM WAS BACK TO BACK, 4-TIME, WORLD CUP CHAMPIONS!!!! TOBIN HEATH AND CHRISTEN PRESS ARE TWO TIME WORLD CUP CHAMPIONS! Tobin ran straight to Christen after the final whistle because they did it together this time. That’s not all though, during the trophy presentation, in the midst of everyone else’s celebration, Tobin looked and Christen and Christen looked at Tobin and they hugged and basically recreated the iconic photo from 4 years ago and I’M STILL NOT OVER IT AND I WILL NEVER BE AND YOU SHOULDN’T BE EITHER. THEN, after ALL of that, T&C decided to go lay in the confetti together and Christen adorably let Tobin throw confetti all over her and I STILL CAN’T. Not to even MENTION the baby Tobin collected and showed to Chris because they’re so domestic™ before Chris decided to adjust Tobin’s medal because they’re also soft™. The real celebration began afterward in the locker room and a lot of alcohol was consumed, but all Chris was worried about was keeping her hair dry with a little blue towel. The next day, after a transatlantic flight and us wondering how they’re going to survive, the team arrived in New York City and the party's just getting started because the day after that the entire team is a guest on Good Morning America. We’re not done yet because the NEXT morning a ticker tape parade through the Canyon of Heroes awaits them (don’t worry, they were on the same float) before a cross-continental flight to LA just in time for the ESPYS (Tobin is apparently dragged, but it was fun). Tobin looks way too damn good in christen’s her v-neck suit, even though her shoe/sunglasses choice was questionable. Christen blessed us with a yellow v-neck suit and both girls were truly “stuntin” on us. THEN THE DAY WE F U C K I N G DIED!!! I’m not even joking. It started out innocent enough (which it really wasn’t but whatever). Christen posted of photo of JUST them together on the float and captioned it “blissful and grateful”. It was already more than we asked for but THEN she started posting pictures of JUST them at the ESPYS on her story and by this point we were already not OKAY. THEN Tobin decided she wasn’t PLAYING AROUND and posted pictures of JUST them on the red carpet and THEN THAT FUCKING VIDEO. T H E STORY TO END ALL INSTA STORIES. What was the video, you ask? Well, what are the New Chicago Bulls Fire J1s… from Travis Scott? Did you see them? How did she get those they’re not even released yet? Watch at your own risk. Finally, both girls decide to decompress and took mini vacay to Los Cabos because why not, you’re world cup champions, and after re-freshing they both fly home to Portland. Of course,their first game back in the NWSL is against each other because only the most chaotic energy is allowed this month. Christen scores the eventual GOTW but the game ends in a tie. Not to worry though because the next week Tobin notches two beautiful assists in the homecoming game against Houston and Christen produces another beautiful GOTW in a game that Tobin attends wearing while wearing a #23 snapback. They really refuse to be separated for more than a few days. Then, as it turns out, they both head back to Portland proving that Tobin’s excursion to Utah really was extra™ and we can only hope we’ll never come down from this content high.

AUGUST Just when we thought we were spoiled by world cup content, the girls decided they’re not done yet and we’re blessed with a TC goal during the first of the Victory Tour games versus Republic of Ireland (foreshadowing: it’s not the first of the month). Christen serves a lovely ball right to Tobin’s head and they were sure to hug adorably in celebration. Before heading back to their clubs, Re-inc hosts an event called ResetTheTable, which is basically a dinner party filled with beautiful people (in body and mind). After returning to Utah Christen scores a brace in a midweek game and helps win another so NWSL rightfully makes her Player of the Week. Then, CP heads to NYC to appear on morning talk shows to educate us about the USWNT lawsuit while looking absolutely stunning. In their last club games before international break, Christen gets another goal, and wins GOTW for the third time, and Tobin’s assists continue to grow (it probably helps that Chris goes to watch her). Their travel has been extra™ this month but it’s what you do for love. Finally, they both head to Philly for campbefore playing against Portugal and we get ANOTHER TC GOAL. Christen is getting really good at assisting Tobes.

SEPTEMBER The second round of victory tour games conclude at the beginning of the month, but Tobes and Chris are pretty adorable at open training before their second win over Portugal. Oh, Christen gets another assist so her total for 2019 is up to… 11! (that’s the leader of the national team). Then, it’s time for Battle of the Baes 2.0 and this time Christen comes out on top. Tobin ends up winning GOTW on week 23… hmm… and the Thorns clinch a playoff spot. Unfortunately, even with Christen’s header, Utah misses out again.

OCTOBER After celebrating their 2019 Women’s World Cup win one more time, the victory tour games conclude in with a pair of games against South Korea. The first one is pretty uneventful, and so is the second (except for the sendoff). Tobin and Chris return to their clubs to play their last nwsl games of the season and the Thorns move on to the postseason. They face Chicago first and find themselves out of the championship game. However, Chris doesn’t seem to mind and makes her way to Portland pretty soon after. Something with re-inc seems to be brewing, but the end of the month marks the beginning of the offseason (after they play two friendlies in November, of course).

NOVEMBER The girls report to camp for the final time this year and everyone seems to be ready for the end of quite an incredible year but also new beginnings with a new coach. Christen and Tobin get a start against Sweden and Christen records another assist and her 50TH INTERNATIONAL GOAL!!! (Tobin may or may not fall to her knees again but that’s not important). Then, we get a TC hug and Tobin gets an assist of her own. Even after playing a game in freezing temperatures they still manage to both look adorably bundled after. The next game is even more fun than the first because Christen scores ANOTHER GOAL and we get ANOTHER TC HUG and to cap it all off we get CAPTAIN TOBIN. That’s right, CAPTAIN TOBIN (we almost got captain Christen but it’s okay). We were just barely coming down from that emotional high when the next night Pinoe brings the entire Gayng to the Glamour Awards. Tobin and Christen had a black and white moment and all I’m saying is they looked the best dressed. Re-inc launched their RWB collection and Tobin was the designer while Christen was a model. Then, Tobin decided to also be a model but in… Africa? That’s right, T and C went to South Africa for Grass Roots Soccer and they also enjoyed a safari or two before heading to London for the GRS Gala. Christen looked absolutely stunning (as always) at the event and there was no doubt that Tobin was there to support her. The holiday season has begun and at the end of the month, the girls went their separate ways to spend Thanksgiving with their families. The break was much needed and I’m sure they’re looking forward to an entire month off.

DECEMBER Tobin and Christen enjoyed their month off by staying pretty quiet, but they did enjoy a snowy vacation towards the end of the month. Then, it was Christmas time and it seemed like a lot of gifts were from Tobin + Christen. Before CP’s bday could happen, they had to attend the WoSo Royal Wedding. They both looked stunning and it was just an unbelievable night in general. Finally, Christen celebrated her 31st birthday right before the decade came to an end. What a truly amazing year.

2020

JANUARY It’s the beginning of a new year and the end of the offseason, but it was still pretty quiet until the very end of the month. January Camp in Florida began in the middle of the month and didn’t stop for the 20 players named to the Olympic Qualifying roster. Obviously Tobin and Christen were and the team relocated to Texas to prepare for their group stage games of Olympic Qualifying.(Also re inc had another reset the table event). Christen started the first game against Haiti and scored a goal in the 2nd minute… talk about starting the year off with a bang. CP was also named the player of the match and she honestly seemed like she was the only one who wasn’t shaking off the rust. Unfortunately, Tobin missed out on the first game due to a slight strain but she was back in action against Panama. She even scored a no-look goal and didn’t think we would notice. Christen also added to her goal total and has now scored in 4 straight games. With two wins in their group the USWNT has secured their spot in the semifinals and are one step closer to qualifying for the Olympics.

FEBRUARY Olympic Qualifying carried over into February and so did Christen’s goal scoring. CP scored two goals in the USWNT’s last group stage game against Costa Rica. The first goal she scored that game was an absolute banger and was eventually named the goal of the tournament. Also, Christen was named player of the match for the SECOND TIME of the tournament. The goal-scoring didn’t stop because she scored another banger against Mexico after jumping on her own rebound. There was no way that ball wasn’t going in the back of the net. After all of this scoring and player of the match wins Christen was rightfully named best player of the entire CONCACAF tournament. She was absolutely glowing with her golden ball trophy before she gave it to her father (who was more than appreciative). Tobin was also feeling generous and gave her first place medal to a fan in the crowd (I guess that’s allowed?). After successfully qualifying for the olympics and remaining reigning CONCACAF champions, everyone had a slight break before training for the She Believes Cup began. Tobin and Christen were named to the roster, but before training could begin the gals had a photoshoot in the brand new olympic kits. I’m not saying Christen decided to debut her new engaygment ring at said photoshoot but I’m not not saying that. (Good job Tobin ;) ) It’s definitely not the offseason anymore and on February 29th, we were all leaping for joy that training camp had resumed in Florida.

MARCH The whole gayng got to be aunties to Cassius in Florida during camp and apparently it was good luck because the USWNT won their first game in the She Believes Cup against England. It was definitely thanks to Christen’s absolute GOLAZO (the only thing she’s allowed to score against England). CHRISTEN PRESS what have you DONE. The USWNT didn’t stop and neither did Christen because in the next gain against Spain she assisted the winning goal in the 86th minute off a free kick. Christen and Tobin BOTH started against Japan and Christen was even at the number nine spot. Brownsuganumba9 lives on. It must’ve been an amazing position for her (who knew) because she scored another GOLAZO against Japan. It chipped the keeper and it was honestly filthy. CHRISTEN PRESS what did you DO. The USWNT won the She Believes Cup, but are still fighting the equal pay lawsuit against ussoccer. During the warm up of the final game of the tournament they all wore jerseys inside out to display the now iconic symbol of four stars with a blank crest. They’re in this together. Just as the USWNT played their last game, the entire world entered a quarantine. Everyone went home and it’s unclear when anyone will return to the field for club or country. However, in the midst of quarantine, there was a Surprise: Snow Storm! and Re-inc launched their posters. It has also allowed CEO Christen and the rest of the Re-inc team to start doing instagram lives in order to interact with fans. We’re in this together.

APRIL This month began like the last one ended, still in quarantine, but that didn’t stop Re-inc from launching their BW capsule collection, but before that an absolutely INCREDIBLE photo was taken and it's pretty much the only major thing that happened this month. Thank you Miss Tobin Heath. However, all of the re-inc founders have been a lot more active on the account (probably because soccer is momentarily paused for right now). Christen found a Stacy plant and remembrance candle along with other plants for the rest of her fam. Tobin and Christen are most definitely quarantining in Portland together and will be for a while.

[burgers-and-french-fries]

Sunsets & Whiskey Kisses: Chapter Forty Three.

WARNING!: If you feel personally victimized by the mention of a father in the bath with his 1 yr old toddler, click out of this story now. Do not come at me either, you have been warned!

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“Alright sweet pea, throw the bread.” Marlene said as they were feeding the ducklings a treat. Anna giggled when Gary pecked Chicken on the head. 

“Meanie.” Anna lectured when Gary quacked angrily at Maisie.

“That’s right, little lady. You tell him.” Richard said as he walked over to the woman and toddler. Anna held her arms up at her papa and he happily picked her up.

“I suppose we should get the rest of her things together.” Marlene said as she closed the bread bag. 

“Jack did call and said that they were on their way home. He then sent this photo.” Richard said as he showed his wife the photo of Parker in her car seat ready to go home.

“Well, if we want to meet them at the house, we better get going.” Marlene said. Richard nodded.

“Alrighty sweet pea. Say bye bye to Gary, Maisie, Chicken and Sunshine.” Richard said as he lowered the little girl to the ground so she could pet them one last time.

“Bye bye duckies.” Anna said as she waved at them. “Love you.” She finished as she turned back to Richard and signaled that she wanted to be held again. Richard picked her up and they walked back to the house.

Marlene was waiting for them by the front door with Anna’s bag and her ducky.

“Are you ready to see mama, dada and baby Parker?” Marlene asked and Anna frowned.

“No, dumb baby.” Anna said through a pout while she crossed her arm over her chest.

“That’s not nice, Anna Grace.” Richard warned and Anna frowned at him. “Big sisters are supposed to be nice.” He continued. Anna shook her head.

“Do you want ducky?” Marlene asked as she held out the toy to the annoyed tot.

“Tata.” Anna said as she held her ducky close.

Richard got Anna settled in her car seat and then he and Marlene were on their way to the lake house to greet the newborn and her parents.

The drive there was silent until Anna started singing to herself. Marlene smiled and looked over at her husband.

“Do you remember the long road trips we’d take and Gabriel would sit in the back seat singing to himself?” Marlene asked as she thought back to when her son was Anna’s age.

“Drove us crazy.” Richard agreed.

Anna’s singing got louder and louder the closer they got to the house. She even made her ducky dance to her song.

When they actually got the house, Grace was waiting for them. Anna waved to the woman outside and smiled excitedly.

“Mi.” Anna said as she kicked her legs, making herself bounce in her car seat. The car came to a stop and Grace got her granddaughter out.

“Hi mi.” Anna said as she wrapped her arms around her grandmother's neck.

“Hi pretty girl. I missed you.” Grace said as she attacked the toddler with kisses. Anna squealed with laughter as she tried to squirm away.

“Shall we go inside?” Marlene asked, just as Jack pulled into the driveway.

Anna instantly went quiet and hid her face in her grandmother’s neck.

“Welcome home you three.” Richard said when Jack got out of the truck.

“Thanks grandpa.” Jack replied as he went around to help Ryleigh out and then get Parker.

“Can I have an Anna cuddle?” Ryleigh asked as she walked up to her mother and her daughter, forgetting the fact that she wasn’t supposed to carry anything heavier than Parker.

Anna grunted in response.

“Come on, don’t be like that, mama just wants a cuddle.” Jack said as he walked over to them whilst holding the car seat containing the newborn.

“Jack, it’s ok.” Ryleigh said but Jack shook his head.

“No, it’s not. She’s gotta learn that she can’t always be a grump.” He replied and Anna looked at him with sadness in her eyes. She wasn’t being grumpy, all she really wanted was to stay in her grandmother’s arms.

“Not grumpy.” Anna said as she looked at her father.

Ignoring her comment, Jack walked into the house with everyone following him.

“You just want Mi don’t you?” Ryleigh asked with a warm smile. Anna nodded and laid her head on Grace’s shoulder.

“You stay with Mi then. Can I have Anna cuddles before naptime though? Just you, me and ducky.” Ryleigh asked and the little gave her mother a smile and nodded.

“Yeah.” Anna replied.

“I look forward to it.” Ryleigh whispered as she kissed her daughter’s temple.

Ryleigh then walked over to her husband.

“You’re the grump by the way. All Anna wants is her grandmother, so snap out of your funk please.” Ryleigh said before kissing his cheek and walking over to the fridge to grab a water bottle.

“I’m not in a funk.” Jack grumbled as he took Parker out of the carseat and placed her in the rocker they had set up in the corner of the living room.

Marlene and Richard only stayed long enough to make sure that everyone was settled in ok. They had told Jack that they would be happy to take Anna if he and Ryleigh needed a break or if they needed help with anything. Their grandson agreed and bid goodbye to the elderly couple.

Grace stuck around and even though Anna wanted to cling to her grandmother after her nap, Grace had insisted on making the family of four some food for the next few weeks so that Ryleigh could rest and recover faster. Ryleigh thanked her mother and Jack hugged his mother-in-law.

“Thank you so much for staying to make up some dinner for us all.”Jack said as he broke the embrace. Grace smiled and patted the man’s cheek.

“Thank you for making me a Mi again.” She replied. Jack chuckled and nodded.

“You’re welcome.” Jack said. Anna of course reached for her father who happily took her.

“Call me if you need anything.” Grace said as she walked toward the front door.

“Love Mi.” Anna said tiredly whilst waving at the woman. Jack kissed the tot’s cheek and she giggled.

“I love you too my sweet girl. You look after mama and dada for me.” Grace said and Anna nodded in response.

Grace took her leave and Jack went into the kitchen to dish up dinner for Anna, Ryleigh and himself.

“Alright sweet pea, how about we bring this to mama and then dada can read to you before bed time.” Jack said after he and Anna ate.

Ryleigh had told him that she was going to lay on the sofa while Parker slept. She had told her husband that he and Anna could at their dinner. Jack reluctantly fed himself and his daughter because he felt bad for eating without his wife.

“Yeah.” Anna said as she followed her father into the living room where Ryleigh was laying down and now watching tv.

“Here you go my love.” Jack said as he handed her a bowl of soup. “Anna wanted to put cheese on top.” He said when he saw the look of confusion on her face.

“Thank you my darlings. It looks and smells so good.” Ryleigh said as she slowly sat up.

“Welcome mama.” Anna said through her cute and shy smile. Ryleigh kissed her cheek.

“Did the both of you enjoy your dinner?” Ryleigh aske, now looking at her husband.

“It was really good, wasn’t it?” Jack questioned as he felt Anna grasp his hand from where she was standing beside him. The little girl nodded.

“I’m glad to hear that you liked it. What are you going to do now?” The mother asked as she took the soup into her mouth carefully.

“Bed.” Anna announced happily. Jack chuckled and looked at Ryleigh.

“Why don’t you grab ducky, then dada can tuck you in, ok?” Jack suggested and Anna ran off to the last place she had her ducky.

“While she’s gone, why don’t you come here and kiss me quickly.” Ryleigh said with a smirk. Jack walked closer to his wife and placed his lips on hers softly, lingering for a few seconds before pulling away.

“I love you baby.” Jack whispered before moving to kiss her forehead. “Eat up and I’ll be back down after putting Anna to bed.” He said just as Anna ran back into the living room.

“Did ducky have fun at the farm?” Ryleigh asked and Anna smiled brightly, with the same smile she inherited from her dada.

“Yeah.” Anna replied as she held her ducky close and attempted to rock him side to side shyly.

“I’m glad my beautiful girl. Come here and give me a kiss.” Ryleigh said and Anna walked over to her mother.

“Love you mama.” Anna said as before kissing her mother’s cheek. Ryleigh hugged the tiny tot.

“Have a good sleep. Mama will see you in the morning, okay?” Ryleigh asked. Anna nodded and walked over to her father who picked her up.

“Night night mama.” Jack said, mimicking Anna while making his daughter’s hand move in a waving motion. Anna giggled and laid her head on her father’s shoulder.

The duo walked up the stairs and into the family bathroom where Jack got Anna ready for her bath. He placed the non slip mat on the bottom of the tub and then undressed his daughter before placing Anna’s bath toys on the bottom of the tub.

Jack filled the bathtub and while he was doing that, Anna watched as her little toy turtles rose with the water.

“Come on you little nakey lady.” Jack said as he lifted the little girl up and kissed her cheek. Anna giggled and pointed to her toys.

“Nakey toy!” Anna said as she continued to giggle. Jack chuckled and placed his daughter in the warm water.

Jack let Anna play with her turtle toys for a few minutes.

“Can dada wash your hair now?” He asked as he picked up the little water jug so that he could wet Anna’s hair.

“Otay dada.” Anna replied as she continued dunking the turtles under water. Jack smiled as Anna started babbling and singing. She was definitely his daughter.

“Close your eyes for me. I don’t want water in your eyes.” Jack said and Anna did as she was told, even though she was holding a toy that was attempting to swim away but couldn’t.

Jack took his time with washing Anna’s hair. He knew that as long as she was happy, he could take an hour to wash her hair if he wanted to.

“What hairstyle would you like today?” Jack asked in mock professionalism.

“Aprise.” Anna said and Jack chuckled.

“Surprise it is.” He replied.

The father played around and eventually settled on a mohawk. Of course he had to laugh when he saw it completed because Anna looked so cute.

“I see?” Anna asked through a fit of giggles as she watched her father laugh and smile brightly at the sight of her.

Jack dipped his hands in the water to rid them of the shampoo before drying his hands and grabbing his phone to snap a picture.

“Smile for dada, nakey lady.” Jack said and Anna gave him her biggest smile yet. Her eyes subsequently disappeared from how bright and wide her smile was.

Jack’s heart swelled with so much love from that one picture alone. His little girl didn’t appear so little anymore. Her toothy smile, her soapy hair, everything about her screamed ‘big girl’ to him and that was something that he truthfully wasn’t prepared for.

“My beautiful little girl.” Jack said as he placed his phone back down again before rinsing the suds from Anna’s hair.

Once Anna had had enough of the bath, Jack pulled her out and wrapped her in her hooded duck towel.

“Let’s get you all cozy and tucked in.” Jack said as they walked to Anna’s room.

“Book?” Anna asked as Jack set her on her feet.

“I will read to you but you have to get dressed first.” Jack replied, pulling out Anna’s zebra print romper pajamas and a pull up. Anna nodded and let her father dry her off.

When the toddler was dressed, Jack brushed her hair and she didn’t like that one bit. She grunted at him in annoyance and screamed when she felt like he was hurting her.

“Quit moving around please.” Jack sighed, almost ready to give up on brushing the girl’s hair.

Anna shook her head and frowned at him.

“No.” Anna shouted.

Jack breathed out and handed her ducky and her soother.

“Now will you stay still?” He asked and she thought for a moment.

“Owie.” She grumbled sassily. Jack rolled his eyes and decided that it was time to give up on brushing Anna’s damp locks that were now curling at the ends.

“Fine, you little sass pot.” Jack said as he stood up and scooped the little girl up before grabbing the first book his eyes landed on, Grumpycorn. He laughed internally at how perfectly it fit the current situation.

The father sat in the rocker and set his toddler on his lap and made sure that she and Ducky were comfortable before he opened the book.

The story was going well but for Anna, she got a little confused when her father’s voice changed slightly. She decided to let it go.

Anna’s little fingers played with the hair on Jack’s arm as he read from the book.

“Do you see he’s here waiting for an idea?” Jack asked softly as he pointed to the picture. Anna nodded and leaned back against his chest.

Jack turned the page and started reading again but as soon as Jack’s voice turned deep and sonorous, Anna looked at him with worry and confusion. She thought he had lost the plot but decided to let it go once more. Jack continued to read.

The second time that Jack deepened his voice, Anna knew that it was time to check her father’s temperature. Her small hand reached up and rested against his forehead.

“Dada sick?” Anna asked with genuine concern. Jack had to fight the laughter bubbling up inside.

“No sweet pea. Dada’s fine, I promise.” Jack replied with a smile. “Dada’s just trying to make the story more interesting.” Jack continued but Anna wasn’t having it. The little girl continued to feel his face to make sure he was really ok.

“Otay.” Anna said when she was satisfied with his normal temperature.

“See him sitting there looking very grand?” Jack asked before he scratched his nose. Anna nodded again and patted his arm gently.

“See, you can see Narwhal there helping make the cookies with mermaid.” Jack said before he turned the page. Anna just sat there and waited for the next part of the story.

Anna giggled when Jack made a chewing sound.

“Meanie.” Anna comments around her soother. Jack smiled slightly and turned the page.

“What’s wrong Mermaid?” Jack asked in a high pitched voice and Anna didn’t like that at all.

It scared her but she tried to be brave.

“Maybe I’m in it.” Jack said again in a high pitched voice. Anna couldn’t take it.

“No, dada.” Anna said as she shrunk back into him. Jack knew that she was scared by the way she gripped his arm.

“You’re ok, sweet pea. The story is almost done.” Jack replied as he kissed the top of her head and held her closer to let her know that he was there.

Anna nodded slowly, not sure if she wanted her father to finish the book.

“Hello unicorn.” Jack started and Anna wriggled in his grasp.

“All done.” She said frantically with fear in her voice. She wasn’t used to all the voices that Jack was using as her parents always read to her in their ‘normal’ voices.

“Ok, my darling. You’re ok.” Jack replied.

He closed the book and placed down so that he could cuddle the sniffling toddler.

“Dada’s sorry.” Jack said with regret as Anna cuddled into him and held onto him tightly.

“No more.” Anna mumbled in reply. Jack kissed her forehead and rubbed her back.

“How about we read another one? I promise that I won't do the voices this time.” He suggested and Anna shook her head.

“What about your puppy book?” Jack asked, referring to the poky puppy book that the little one loved so much.

Anna lifted her head and looked at her father with tears slowly running down her cheeks. Jack wiped her tears and gave her a kiss.

“Puppy.” Anna said eventually when she managed to calm down a little bit.

Jack stood up with Anna still clinging to him and went to retrieve the poky puppy book.

=

While Jack was upstairs putting Anna to bed, Ryleigh was downstairs feeding Parker. She was enjoying the silence and enjoying the bonding time she and the baby were having.

“Did she go down ok?” Ryleigh asked when she heard her husband sigh.

“Yeah. I read grumpycorn to her but made the mistake of using special voices for the characters and ended up scaring her. I felt bad so I stopped reading and wound up reading the poky puppy.” Jack explained as Ryleigh unlatched the now drowsy infant.

“I see. I’m glad she’s ok now.” The woman replied.

Jack sat down next to Ryleigh and showed her the picture he took of Anna in the bath.

“Aww, she looks so grown up.” Ryleigh said as tears grew in her eyes.

“She started crying when I did the voice for the jellyfish.” He admitted and Ryleigh smirked and blinked her tears away.

“Why exactly?” She asked and Jack shrugged sheepishly.

“I may have gone a little too high pitched.” He replied as he took Parker from her mother so that he could burp her.

“Jacks.” Ryleigh sighed. “If she has nightmares and screams bloody murder tonight, I don’t blame her.” She concluded as she stared at her husband from her spot on his left shoulder.

“How about we put this one to bed and watch a movie?” He attempted. Ryleigh smiled at him and nodded against him.

“I’ll get the snacks?” She asked as she moved away from him so that he could get up.

“Perfect.” Jack replied as he walked over to the baby swing to place Parker down. He made sure that his youngest was settled comfortably. Once he was sure that PJ was happy, he made his way over to their DVD collection and picked out a movie.

Ryleigh walked around the kitchen slowly and gathered everything from chocolate to chips. She couldn’t wait to eat junk food.

“What movie did you choose?” Ryleigh asked as she hurried toward the sofa.

“Guess.” Jack replied with a cheeky grin.

“Something you can use as a way to get me to hide my face in the crook of your neck?” Ryleigh questioned as she sat down and opened the bag of chips.

“Nope. Guess again.” Jack said as he joined his wife on the sofa.

“Something that’s going to make my cry so that you have an excuse to cuddle me?” She thought out loud.

Jack shook his head and took the bag of chips from her.

“Fine, I give. What is it?” Ryleigh said, admitting defeat.

“Press play and you’ll see.” Jack said as he crossed his legs, wrapped an arm around Ryleigh and got comfortable.

Ryleigh grabbed the remote and leaned into her husband’s side, resting her head between his chest and shoulder

As soon as Ryleigh hit play, the theme music for the Emperor's New Groove started playing. Ryleigh chuckled and kissed Jack’s cheek.

“You really are a dork.” Ryleigh commented, making Jack smile widely.

“Yup.” He replied before they started watching the movie and eating their snacks.

=

The first night home was difficult to say the least. Parker wouldn’t let Ryleigh put her down and every time that Jack changed her diaper, the newborn would scream bloody murder. Both adults were exhausted and by the time they managed to fall asleep, Anna alerted them that the sun was beginning to shine.

“She’s awake.” Jack said as he rubbed his eyes and yawned.

Ryleigh nodded and groaned as Parker started crying. She sat up and looked around for another diaper.

“No more diapers in here, you’ll have to take her to Anna’s room to change her.” Ryleigh said as she slowly stood up.

“Why me?” Jack whined.

“Because our girls need their dada and because I’m kind of hurting and could use a shower to relax.” She replied, grinning cheekily.

“Right but just know that you can’t use the operation card all the time so use it wisely now.” Jack tased as he kissed Ryleigh’s lips quickly before getting up, picking Parkr up and disappearing to the nursery. Ryleigh sighed to herself at how amazing a father her husband was.

While Jack was taking care of the girls, Ryleigh decided that she was going to shower. Her doctor had told her that a shower was ok as she had gotten dissolvable stitches and was glued on the outside.

The woman made her way to the bathroom slowly. Once she was in the room, she removed her clothes and set the shower water to a warm temperature. She then stepped in and let the water relax her aching muscles.

=

“Dada, I help?” Anna asked as she saw her father undoing her sister’s onesie.

Jack nodded and the toddler reached out for him as he quickly walked over to her and lifted her out of the crib she was in.

“Tata.” Anna said as Jack set her down before quickly going back to the fussy baby.

“Grab your stool.” Jack said as he started removing Parker’s diaper.

Anna pulled her stool beside her father and watched him begin to change her sister. Of course with this being a new thing for her, Anna was enthralled with the umbilical stump that was still attached to the newborn.

“What that?” Anna asked finally before rubbing her eyes and yawning.

“This?” Jack asked as he pointed to where Anna was looking. Anna nodded. “Here, give me your finger.” Jack said and Anna brought her hand closer to him.

Jack folded Anna’s fingers down except for her index finger. Jack let the toddler feel the side of the stump and Anna grimaced.

“Eww, slimy.” Anna commented as her face contorted in disgust but despite that, the little girl couldn’t stop poking it. She was fascinated with it but the texture was still weird in her eyes.

“Pretty cool eh?” Jack replied.

“Why it there?” Anna asked, wanting to know why her sister had it.

“That’s how mama fed Parker while she was in mama’s belly.” Jack explained. Anna looked between him and Parker, trying to process what he had just told her.

“Dada have one?” Anna asked.

“Dada did, it fell out though. Parker’s will fall out as well.” He replied but that wasn’t enough for Anna. The toddler lifted her shirt and looked for hers.

“I have one?” Anna wondered as she examined her belly and Jack nodded.

“You did, but it fell off.” The father replied. Anna gasped.

“Oh no.” She said as she held her small hand over her belly button as if protecting it to make sure it wouldn’t fall off. “Owie?” Anna questioned, wanting to know if it hurt.

“No sweet pea, it doesn’t hurt.” Jack said. Anna nodded but giggled when Parker started peeing on Jack.

“Oh come on, seriously?” Jack groaned as he tried to stop the golden shower. Much like the first time she peed on him, it was over before he could cover her and prevent the shower the newborn felt he needed.

Despite being annoyed, he finished changing the baby’s diaper before dressing her in a new onesie as Parker peed on the one she was wearing.

When the baby was all clean, Jack took her back to his and Ryleigh’s room with Anna trailing behind him as she continued to giggle and hold her belly.

“Jesus Jack, I know I was having a shower but if you were in that much of a hurry, you could have gone first. I wouldn’t have minded.” Ryleigh teased as she stepped out of the bathroom fully dressed. Her eyes landing on her husband’s wet shirt that smelled heavily of urine.

Jack didn’t say anything. He simply gave her the deepest glare he could muster.

“Here, pass her to me and you can go and clean up.” Ryleigh said as she sat down in their bed.

Jack handed the baby over and walked toward the bathroom.

“Enjoy your shower, golden boy.” Ryleigh mumbled as she and Anna smirked at each other.

“I heard that.” Jack said as he shut the door.

“You were supposed to.” Ryleigh called back before she took notice of the fact that Anna was holding her little chubby belly.

“What’s wrong sweet pea? Are you ok?” The mother asked.

Anna nodded happily as she rocked herself side to side cutely.

“Why are you holding your belly then, little one?” Ryleigh asked as she started nursing the baby.

“Button gone. Falled off mama.” Anna replied with shock. Ryleigh laughed to herself because the toddler’s reaction to her umbilical cord missing was just so cute.

Anna stood there looking at her mama with sad eyes. She didn’t understand why her concern was so funny.

Thankfully by this point, PJ was sound asleep again and Ryleigh was able to unlatch her and lay her down in her bassinet beside the bed.

“Come here, kiddo.” Ryleigh said and Anna sauntered over to her mother.

Ryleigh helped Anna on to the bed where she scooped up her eldest and hugged her.

“I’m sorry for laughing.” The mother apologized, rubbing Anna’s back.

For the next couple minutes, Ryleigh explained what the umbilical cord was and how it worked. Of course Anna already knew what it was for because her dada had told her the same thing.

While Ryleigh was explaining things to Anna, in simple terms obviously, Jack emerged from the bathroom wearing the clothes that Ryleigh had left in the bathroom for him.

“Feel better?” Ryleigh asked, genuinely wanting to know.

“I do, thank you. Thanks for the clothes by the way.” Jack said as he sat beside his wife on the bed.

“What do you two want for breakfast?” Jack asked.

The mother and daughter looked at each other in thought.

“Nana.” Anna replied, making Jack smile.

“Anything else, sweet pea?” He asked again.

This time Ryleigh whispered in the toddler’s ear.

“Ridge.” Anna announced proudly. Jack chuckled.

“Porridge and banana it is.” Jack said as he stood up and picked Anna up. “Let’s get you changed first.” He said as he walked out of the room.

“Let’s head downstairs, little one.” Ryleigh said as she stood from her spot to retrieve the youngest girl from her bassinet.

Slowly but surely, Ryleigh made her way downstairs and walked over to the sofa.

=

Back upstairs, Jack changed Anna’s pull up and got her dressed in a pair of joggers, her favorite shirt, her blue sandals and then of course, Anna insisted on wearing her monkey backpack.

“You don’t need that. We’re staying home today.” Jack said as he tried to take the bag.

“I need it.” Anna huffed in annoyance.

“What do you need it for?” Jack asked.

“Carry my toys.” Anna replied in an obvious tone. Jack chuckled and rolled his eyes.

“Fine, but you have to take it off when we eat or when you want to sit down ok?” Jack said. 

Anna nodded and ran for the stairs.

“Where do you think you’re going. I still have to do your hair.” Jack called as he walked from her room.

“No, pease.” Anna begged as she pointed to the baby gate at the top of the stairs.

“Yes, please. Come on.” Jack said as he held his hand out for her to take.

“Wanna play.” Anna grumbled.

“You can play after I do your hair.” The father said as he took Anna’s hand in his.

“Play now.” Anna said and Jack shook his head.

“No can do sweet pea.” Jack replied as he picked the girl up and placed her on the bathroom counter so that he could do her hair. 

Anna squirmed to get away as Jack worked on tidying her messy curls, essentially making her father annoyed.

“Anna, stop. I’m almost done.” Jack warned as he finished off the little top knots he put in her hair.

“Meanie.” Anna said as she sat there with her arms crossed and a pout on her face.

“I’m not a meanie.” He replied, inspecting his handy work.

When Jack was satisfied with everything, he set Anna down and she ran back to the stairs.

“Come on you little crank pot. Let’s make breakfast.” Jack said as he walked up to his daughter and handed her her ducky.

“Otay.” She replied. Jack opened the baby gate and let Anna walk down first. 

The sight before him was so cute. The toddler held on to the banister with both hands as she walked down the stairs one by one slowly.

Once they reached the bottom, Anna rushed off to play with her toys while Jack made breakfast.

“What do you have in there sweet pea?” Ryleigh asked as she continued to nurse Parker.

Anna opened her backpack to see what Jack had put in there for her while she was dressing her ducky. He had put in a couple toy cars of hers, a book and a hand full of her little finger puppets.

“My treasures.” Anna replied after she pulled out one of her finger puppets and put it on her finger.

“I see.” Ryleigh said as she unlatched the baby and burped her, before latching Parker on to the other breast.

Anna continued examining her finger puppet to make sure it was still ok. Both Ryleigh and Jack were watching the little girl’s movements.

Completely unaware that she was being watched, Anna removed the puppet from her finger and brought it to her mouth.

“Mwah.” Anna said as she kissed the material she had just removed from her finger. The little girl then put it back in her bag.

Jack and Ryleigh looked at each other and smiled warmly. 

“Little cutie, taking such good care of her toys.” Jack said, looking at his wife. Ryleigh nodded and turned her attention back to Parker.

Anna looked up at her father and gave him a big cheesy smile, thinking that he was praising her for being good and respecting her toys. 

Jack walked over to her and kissed the top of her head.

“Breakfast is ready, sweet pea.” Jack said and Anna nodded. She grabbed her bag and her ducky and followed her father to the table.

“Do you want some tea with your porridge, babe.” Jack questioned, looking over at Ryleigh. 

“Tea sounds great, thanks Jacks.” The woman replied.

Jack got Anna settled in her high chair and went to make tea.

“Hi mama.” Anna greeted when Ryleigh sat down next to her. Anna shoved a banana into her mouth.

“Hi baby. Is your breakfast good?” The mother asked in reply. Anna nodded and continued to eat her food.

=

A few hours later, Jack and Anna were running around outside chasing and throwing mud at each other while Ducky, the monkey backpack and Ryleigh sat on the back deck with Parker on her chest.

“Jackson, please watch her.” Ryleigh called when she saw Anna get too close to her little trampoline.

“She’s fine Ryl-” He started saying before Anna tripped over the slide that was attached to her trampoline.

Jack rushed over to her and Anna just smiled at him.

“I fine.” Anna said through a fit of giggles as her father helped her up and pat the grass and crap off the front of her.

“I think that’s enough for today.” Jack said as he picked Anna up and walked over to Ryleigh with sheepish grins on their faces.

“Right you muppets. Why don’t you both go and have a bath and get into your pajamas and I’ll order something for dinner. Then when you are ready, we can watch a movie in our room tonight.” Ryleigh said and Jack nodded.

The family walked inside and went upstairs. Ryleigh put Parker in her bassinet before sitting on her bed and scrolling through her phone for what to order for dinner. 

While Ryleigh was surfing the internet for food, Jack and Anna were in the bathroom about to get into the tub.

“My turtles.” Anna said as she and Jack sat in the warm water.

“Do you really need them? You won’t be able to see them in the bubbles, honey.” Jack questioned. Anna nodded.

“Yes, I need them.” She replied as she splashed the water around.

Jack reached over the tub and grabbed the swimming devices, placing them in the water. 

“Tata.” Anna said as she started playing with them.

“You’re welcome sweet pea.” The father replied.

He watched Anna play for a few minutes before taking a washcloth and washing the dried mud from Anna’s small body. 

“Dada look. Him swimmin’.” Anna pointed to the turtle swimming toward her dada.

“Look at him go.” Jack chuckled as he finished off washing Anna.

Before Anna could say anything else, Anna farted. 

“Anna.” Jack whined slightly, making the little girl laugh. The tot thought that the bubbles the fart created were funny and she tried to fart again but she couldn’t. 

“That’s yucky.” Jack said seriously, even though a smile pulled at his lips.

Anna shook her head and farted again. 

“Ok, I think that’s enough.” Jack warned and Anna laughed.

“Dada turn.” Anna said and Jack just looked at her as she sat there waiting for him to copy her. 

“Dada can’t.” Jack replied, hoping that Anna would turn her attention to her beth toys.

“Why?” Anna asked.

“Because I don’t have to fart.” Jack countered. Anna started giggling again.

“What’s all the laughing for?” Ryleigh asked when she went to check on her husband and daughter.

“Anna keeps farting and she thinks it’s funny.” He explained and Ryleigh nodded.

“I see. Why does she want you to fart?” Ryleigh wondered. 

“Bubbles mama.” Anna answered. Jack and Ryleigh chuckled.

“No more bubbles missy. Dinner will be here soon and you and dada need to get dressed.” Ryleigh said.

“Dada turn.” Anna said again but Ryleigh shook her head.

“You leave your dada alone. If he says he doesn’t have to go, then he doesn’t have to go.” Ryleigh said as she held a towel out for Anna.

Jack picked Anna up and placed her in front of her mother who wrapped Anna in her duck towel. 

“Let’s get you changed.” Ryleigh said as she took hold of Anna’s hand and walked toward the little girl’s bedroom, leaving Jack to get out and remove the dirty water from the tub.

=

Once Anna was dressed, Ryleigh led her to her and Jack’s room. 

“Look dada.” Anna said as she pointed excitedly at her new pajama shirt Ryleigh had dressed her in.

“You look so cute, princess.” Jack said as Anna toddled over to his side of the bed. 

He helped Anna onto the bed and got her settled beside him.

“The pizza came, I see.” Ryleigh said, grabbing the laptop and pulling up the Netflix page.

“It did and it smells good. My only question is, what’s in the small box?” Jack asked as he got himself and Anna covered over with blankets since he was only in boxers and Anna was only in her pajama shirt and a pull up.

“It’s a kids size pizza for Anna.” Ryleigh said while she skimmed through movies. Anna gasped and folded her hands together in happiness. She couldn’t believe she got a pizza all to herself.

“Tata mama.” Anna said as she cuddled into Jack’s side.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. Thank dada though, I used his card.” Ryleigh said with a sheepish smile.

Jack laughed and rolled his eyes. 

“Tata dada.” Anna said as she smiled up at him.

“You’re welcome, princess.” He replied.

Ryleigh continued to skim through the movies but couldn’t find one that she knew they would all agree on.

“Now that we have that out of the way, what movie should we watch?” Ryleigh asked.

“Trows.” Anna suggested. Jack and Ryleigh rolled their eyes.

“No, we’re not watching trolls. We just watched that.” Ryleigh said and Anna frowned. She loved that movie.

“Pet?” Anna asked.

“Not that one either. We just saw that as well.” Jack replied, knowing that Anna was talking about the secret life of pets.

“Tome on.” Anna said in annoyance as she threw up her arms. 

Jack and Ryleigh laughed and earned themselves a glare from the 1 yr old.

“Pick one that we haven’t seen in a long time.” Ryleigh suggested and Anna gave it some thought.

“Aspicable me.” She answered proudly.

“Good choice. What do you think, dada?” Ryleigh asked, looking at her husband who was picking at his pizza.

Jack looked up at her and smiled sheepishly.

“I think that sounds good.” He replied.

“Good.” Ryleigh replied. 

She got the movie all set up and turned off the lamp on her bedside table, making the room dark and peaceful.

“Pass us the pizza.” She said to her husband.

“Just a sec, I’m getting Anna’s all set for her.” He said.

Once Anna was happily eating, Jack passed Ryleigh her pizza and they sat and enjoyed their movie.

Tag List: @sarahegerton96​ @softeggsy​ @dogmom2014​ @jobanan23​ @aberystwythboy​ @stronglyobsessed​ @holdmeclosertinytaron​ @superthiccthighssavelives​ @hauntedflamingo​ @rocknrollmadden​

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day One Hundred Eighty-Six: Trickle Down ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Hyūga Hanabi, Uchiha Itachi, Uchiha Shisui, Uchiha Manami ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

Is it really a proper Summer vacation unless you go somewhere water-related? And of course, if you want to go full cliche, you go to the beach.

And that’s exactly where they’re headed.

In all honesty, Sasuke’s surprised Hiashi agreed. Though that technically might have to do with the fact that he’s yet unaware about the fact that his daughter is dating one of the three boys she’s been given permission to travel with.

Him, specifically.

Hanabi is also with them, the little tagalong. It would hardly be fair to keep her away, after all. Technically there are four adults in the arrangement to keep an eye on them: his aunt Manami, her son Shisui, and of course Itachi. And much to Sasuke’s surprise...Itachi brings someone along.

A girl.

But, Sasuke’s not one to butt into his brother’s business. All he knows is that Manami drives himself, Hinata, and Hanabi. Everyone arrives on their own to the beach two hours from their home suburb. 

It’s actually been a few years since he bothered to go. They’ve even got overnight rooms, having the rest of tomorrow until the drive home that night. The only arrangement he’s aware of so far is the girls having a room...minus Manami, who’s splurging on her own. He’s assuming the boys will then be left to their own devices.

Which is wonderful...because Shisui snores like a bear.

But at least it’s just one night. For now, they have the entire day ahead of them, having left fairly early this morning.

Dressed in a button-up blouse and a skirt, Hinata emerges from the car and holds a hand to her brow, shielding her eyes as she looks over the beachfront. It’s...rather crowded, but what can you expect? “Wow…! I can’t remember the last time I was here!”

“Look at all the people,” Hanabi marvels, mirroring her sister’s pose.

“Yeah...be careful not to get lost, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah...I’m not a baby. And I’ve got my phone, I can always text you.”

Hinata wilts a bit at the girl’s flippant attitude, but in the end just gives a small sigh. “...grab your bag, we need to go check in.”

The group heads inside, Manami handling the rooms. While the rest of them wait, Sasuke brightens as Itachi and his...friend arrive. “Hey, you made it.”

“Traffic was a bit hectic, but yes, we’re here,” the elder brother replies, smiling. Turning to the sisters, he softens. “It’s good to see you two again. It really has been a while.”

Hinata gives a dipping nod. “You look well, Itachi! How’s college going?”

“It’s...going.” A tinge of sheepishness tinges his expression. “Let’s just say I was eager for Summer to arrive.”

“You’re working though, right?” Sasuke asks, hands in his pockets.

“I am. Just part time - on a week, off a week. Thankfully Manami’s plans lined up perfectly.”

As the brothers chat, the girls take to their own conversation. Already Hinata seems rather enamored with Itachi’s companion...which Sasuke can’t help but perk a brow at.

“...I’m glad you two are speaking again,” Itachi then offers softly, drawing his brother’s gaze. “I know it pained you to go without her friendship for so long.”

“Yeah, well...I had my own shit to sort out,” Sasuke mutters in reply. “But yeah...me too.”

There’s a knowing curiosity in Itachi’s eyes, and he then asks, “...so, is this little getaway a platonic one, or…?”

Stiffening a hair, Sasuke’s cheeks dust pink. “W...what’s that supposed to mean?”

Clearly already understanding, Itachi smiles. “...just a kind of...intuition. Manami told me you’ve been spending quite a bit of time together. Including after curfew.”

“Uh...she knows about that?”

“Oh please, Sasuke: she’s ex military. You really think you could sneak out of that house without her knowing?”

Mouth opening to speak, Sasuke instead squawks as an arm lands over his shoulders. “Hey!” Shisui cuts in with a gleaming grin. “What’re you two chattin’ about?”

“Your mother’s uncanny ability to know every little thing that happens in her house,” Itachi explains dryly.

“Ooh, yeah...no avoiding those hawk-like eyes, I tell ya. Sasuke get busted for sneaking out again?”

Scowling, he ducks out from under his cousin’s grip. “Busted, no...at least, I’m not in trouble.”

“She knows you’re not dumb enough to...well, do something dumb. Probably just figures you’re out for a stroll in the quiet,” Shisui offers.

“Exactly…”

Glancing to the group, the eldest then asks, “So am I the only one without a date, or…?”

“Seems that way,” Itachi teases with a hint of a grin.

“Maybe I’ll find one out on the beach, eh? Once I stride out there in my speedo, they’ll have to peel the women off me,” Shisui retorts, cracking another good-humored smile.

“Please God tell me you aren’t actually going to wear a speedo,” Sasuke deadpans.

“I mean -”

“Come on, guys!” Manami then calls, turning them all to the counter. “Rooms are booked, let’s go settle in! Then we’ll hit the beach, okay?”

Hanabi gives a whoop, following close behind as the rest trail after her. As arranged, the girls take their room, the boys to another, and Manami to her own. “Meet back out here in twenty, and we’ll head down together.”

Nodding, Sasuke hauls his bag into the assigned room, finding two beds. Seems he’ll be bunking with his brother like the old days. Getting right to the point, they all change into swim gear...and Sasuke mentally sighs in relief when Shisui pulls out trunks like the rest of them. He did not want to see that man in a speedo…

Once enough time passes, they head into the hall with towels in tow, meeting the rest of the group. Manami simply rocks a tank and shorts, prosthetic in clear view. Hanabi dons a white one-piece, an innertube around her waist. And both of the older girls are...still dressed?

“You not gonna swim?” Sasuke asks.

“No, I just…” Hinata goes pink. “I’ve got my suit on under. I wanted to wear this down to the beach for...for a while.”

A blink. “...okay.”

Herd assembled, they squish back into an elevator and head out toward the sand. Hanabi takes off at a dead run, prompting Hinata to chase. “Hanabiii! Slow down!”

Manami crows in laughter, everyone else sighing. “I’m so glad none of you three are that young anymore…”

“Hey, I’m still twelve at heart,” Shisui retorts.

“True, but you’re also physically a legal adult and pay for your own medical bills if you were to sprint, fall, and break something,” she counters with a grin that matches his own. “Feel free to act twelve all you want.”

Both brothers snicker as Shisui pouts. “Love you too, Mom,” he mutters.

Eventually they catch up with the sisters. Hanabi’s already in the water, floating with her tube. Hinata’s laid claim to a pair of umbrellas, somehow not taken...but also a good deal distant from the hotel entrance.

“All right, you all head into the water...I’m gonna sit in the shade and read,” Manami declares, throwing down her towel and making to do just that. Itachi and his date decide to wait a bit as well, leaving Sasuke to try to convince Hinata to ditch her clothes and go swim as Shisui just...barrels out with a warcry. 

“Come on, you can’t go to a beach and not swim.”

“S-sure you can!”

“...what, are you self-conscious? Hinata, you’re fine, just -”

“So what if I am?” she cuts in, once again pink in the face. “I just...d-don’t like being so...undressed.”

“What about me? I’ve basically just got long boxers on.”

“I do n-not want to think about that…!”

“Come on,” he offers, practically whining. “I wanna see your suit.”

“It...it’s nothing special.”

“Knowing you, I bet it’s adorable.”

Looking shy at the compliment, Hinata hesitates another moment before sighing, working the buttons of her blouse. Under is a tank-like top: white with sunflower prints. And once she peels off her skirt, there’s a high-waisted bottom, the same warm yellow.

“...I like it,” he offers. “But man, you need more sun.”

“W-what?”

“You’re so pale!”

Her cheeks puff with a pout. “...well the only time I seem to go out anymore is a-after dark!”

That earns a grin. True...he drags her out so late, she probably doesn’t do much else for being tired. “...fair enough.”

Once they’re both lathered with sunscreen (Hinata having already tended to her sister), he coaxes her out from under the umbrella. “C’mon, we’ll get in the water and then no one can see you.”

“B-but -?”

“No one’s gonna be looking at you, anyway - they’re all doing their own thing. The only eyes you gotta worry about are mine,” Sasuke teases, earning a slap against his shoulder.

Making it to the waves, they stride in to their knees, Hinata squealing at the cold. “This...this is a mistake!”

“No way - you’re not backing out now.”

“But -?”

Scooping her up, Sasuke ignores her protests and carries her further in before just...throwing her.

“Wah -!”

Sploosh!

Scrambling for the surface, she stands in the now chest deep water, dripping wet. “You...you…!”

He just grins, ducking behind arms as she splashes him. “Looking a little drenched there, Hina.”

“I’m gonna k-kill you!”

They mock fight for a bit, ocean spraying at each strike of a hand before it devolves into laughing and chasing. But it’s not long before the novelty wears off, and Sasuke suggests heading up to dry off for a bit.

“Okay...good idea.” Taking the lead, Hinata wrings out her hair as they emerge from the water.

A few paces behind, Sasuke mops it from his face before his gaze gets a bit...caught up in the way water trickles down Hinata’s back and legs.

...oh.

Shisui and Hanabi are still in the water, and Sasuke notices the elder pair have disappeared...but he doesn’t see them in the waves. Eyes narrowing a bit, he forgets as Hinata gestures for him to sit. Manami, true to her word, is still reading...and clearly ignores the couple a few towels over.

“That was fun!”

“Told you,” Sasuke teases.

Out sticks her tongue. “There’s a pool too, right?”

“I think so.”

“We’ll have to try it later. For now I’m a little swimmed out.” A pause. “...swum out? I’ve...had enough swimming.”

Snorting, he just reclines on his towel, deciding to doze for a bit until they get led to their next activity. Hearing Hinata do the same beside him, he cracks an eye, finding her pinkie with his.

She grips it back, a subtle smile growing as her eyes close.

Yeah...this was a good idea.

                                                         .oOo.

     Not...too much to say about this? Just your basic day at the beach kinda fic, featuring...lots of family xD This is technically part of the "Neighbors" sub modern AU. I still need to go back through all these and make sub lists for the mini 'stories', I just...haven't had the time, especially with now 186 of them to go through...I will eventually! Just...not likely for a while, aha ;;;;;      But yeah! It's late, and I've had a busy day with another one coming up, so that's all outta me for now. Thanks for reading!

[bloodyknuckles]

and my heart is playing hide and seek.

hey guys read my breakfast club fan fic i’ve been working on for only god knows how long! :) 

read on ao3 here

[read fic under the cut] 

Brian liked long car drives.

He liked them the same way he liked to consume four hundred page novels in one day, or do science experiments that went horribly wrong; he liked them like he liked midnight showings, and creating suicides with the movie theater coke machine. He liked long car rides like he liked the day he was in detention. He’d made friends then and felt like he belonged, even though he was clearly an outcast, and he had fun, as weird as that was to say. After detention, though, they didn’t speak to each other. Brian didn’t really want to talk to Bender, even if they grew to have a standing ground it didn’t mean that the dude didn’t scare him still. He liked Allison enough, even if he still didn’t trust her all that much, and Claire was fun to be around. But what Brian didn’t understand was why he was so crushed when Andrew—or Andy—hadn’t even bothered to look at him; to even acknowledge his existence. It shouldn’t have bothered him as much as it did, but for some reason, it got under his skin. Even Allison and Bender had given him small, hidden, and guarded waves and hi’s when no one was looking.

Andy hadn’t though, and that bothered Brian. He tried not to think about it too much.

He shoved it off and studied for his finals, he didn’t know if he did well (nor did he really care), and he went on with his life. His job as a busboy at Monroe’s Diner sucked, and he’s pretty sure he only got the gig because Claire pulled some strings for him. The place was always packed because it was seemingly the only good restaurant in their rundown Chicago suburb, so he was always worked to death. He was exhausted by the time he came home and often struggled through dinner. One time, much to the chagrin of his family, he fell asleep at the dinner table. His job paid well, so he kept it, no matter how exhausted or angry it made him. A month after school ended, Brian didn’t even have a fleeting thought of Andy. It was like he’d simply dropped off the face of Brian’s mind.

The only weekend Brian didn’t have to work in a month, Claire dragged him out to a public pool. It wasn’t like she didn’t have a pool in her backyard, so he was confused when she pulled up to his house and made him drive her to the only public pool in his old beat-up pickup truck.

“Remind me why you’re making me take you to the public pool again?” Brian asks, pulling into a parking spot.

“For fun,” Claire shrugs and unbuckles her seatbelt.

“You have a pool in your backyard.”

“And?”

“Go swimming in your backyard?”

“I have a feeling that wouldn’t be as fun.”

“You know something I don’t, don’t you?” Brian asks, turning around to face her. She grins and winks and doesn’t say anything else. She hops out of the car and grabs the towels from the backseat, and Brian follows suit.

“Have fun today, okay?” Claire says, bumping his shoulder. Brian rolls his eyes but smiles nonetheless. Brian had never been a big fan of swimming. There wasn’t a story behind it, he just didn’t enjoy the way the water made him feel and that he always had to shower after he went to the pool because the chlorine made him feel sticky.

The first hour goes uneventfully. Brian and Claire spend most of their time in the shallow end of the pool or sitting on the edge chatting about how their summer is going so far. Brian’s summer has been filled with work, which lead to some very interesting customer stories he’s been itching to tell. Claire’s has been filled with shopping misadventures, which lead to even more interesting stories, especially in the changing room of a Gucci store. It’s when Brian goes to get drinks for him and Claire when things get complicated. He’s gone for at least three minutes, as there’s no one at the counter and he has to wait for someone to pop up, which takes a few minutes, but it’s enough time for Andrew Clark to make a bright appearance at Claire’s side. When Brian returns, it clicks in his brain why Claire wanted to take him here.

Andy gives Brian a charming smile that makes his knees go weak and brain turn to mush, and waves at him. Brian smiles back, but his hands are full so he can’t really wave.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Brian says, after sitting down and handing Claire her drink. Andy shrugs and squints in the sunlight.

“Needed some air. Just not at the ballpark,” he says. There’s a wary air of silence as they sit there. Brian uncomfortably picks at the top of his water bottle.

“What are you two doing here? Claire, don’t you have like… a pool in your backyard or something?” Andy asks.

“I said the same thing!” Brian says, laughing. Claire grins and leans back on her elbows.

“I can see people I actually like here, and shit talk the people I don’t,” she says.

“But then they might hear you,” Andy says. “You can do it peacefully from your pool in your backyard.”

“Then I wouldn’t have the chance to get a chance meeting with people I do like, such as this one,” she says, waving her hand over to Andy. He chuckles and it makes Brian’s heart palpitate. They continue talking, and Andy’s stories from the summer aren’t as eventful as Brian’s or Claire’s. His summer seems to be more boring than either of them assumed. It’s been four hours before Brian and them leave. They wish Andy well before heading back to Brian’s house. They slide into easy conversation, and Brian complains about how the chlorine is making his skin feel and how he’s going to take a shower as soon as he gets home. Claire just laughs and scrolls through her phone.

Claire gets to stay over, much to Brian’s excitement, they just have to keep the door open. To his surprise, Claire came prepared, as if she knew she was going to stay over. Claire has a silk, baby blue nightgown on, while Brian has on a simple t-shirt and joggers. It gets cold in his room at night, so he usually sleeps shirtless, but always with joggers on. They sit on Brian’s floor, the cool wood against his palms, while Claire’s lay in her lap.

“You knew Andrew was coming to the pool today,” Brian says.

“Did I?” Claire says, smiling and picking her hand up to look at her nails.

“Claire!” Brian says. He tries to sound angry, but he sounds more distraught than anything.

“Listen, stupid, have you seen the way you look at Andy? The first day he didn’t talk to you after detention you looked like a kicked puppy,” she shrugs, stretching her legs out. “Brian, you’re whipped and you don’t even know it.”

“Yes, I, a straight man, am totally into boys. Thank you for this groundbreaking information, Claire,” Brian says sarcastically. Claire huffs and rolls her eyes.

“Fine, fine,” she says, leaning back on her elbows. The night passes by a little more quietly, and only once are they hushed by Brian’s mom for laughing too loud.

They sleep in and make brunch when they wake up. Neither of them are very good cooks --Claire has never cooked a day in her life, so of course she’s not good at it. This leaves Brian to do most of the work--, but it pulls off in the end. Claire stays for a few more hours before she sends herself off back home, claiming she missed her cat and clothes. This left Brian to his own devices and thoughts. Specifically, what Claire had said last night, about how he was whipped for Andy and didn’t even know it.

He tried not to dwell on it too much.

The Saturday that Brian worked was uncharacteristically slow. He didn’t really mind though, it just meant he wouldn’t be completely and utterly exhausted when he got home. Maybe he could spend some time with his little sister, Christine, for once in his life. He’s wiping down an already clean table when he rears back in surprise. Andy waltzes through the door, a girl wrapped into his side, and they’re being lead to a table by Allison’s mother. Brian’s stomach is upset by the sight of the two, and he doesn’t quite understand why. Andy gives him a wave and a smile, but Brian acts like he didn’t see him. It’s clear he did though.

Brian thinks he’s gonna be sick.

Andy’s just his friend, he should be happy for him, if anything. But the sight of him holding that girl’s hand makes his stomach churn, and makes him want to throw his breakfast up in the nearest toilet. He continues to wipe down the table, and then leaves to go to the other side of the diner. Somewhere where he can’t see Andy and that girl.

God, he can’t wait for his shift to end.

“Hey, Claire,” Brian says. Even after the short day of work, he was exhausted. He collapses on his bed, Claire on speaker phone.

“You sound upset.”

“I am and I don’t know why.”

“Really now?”

“I think I have an idea. I don’t want to admit it though.”

“Why not?”

“Because you might’ve been right last Saturday,” he says. It’s hard to admit it because Brian’s never felt attraction to girls, so maybe deep down he knew that Claire was right. Everyone had found Claire so pretty, but he had never really considered it. Yeah, she was nice looking, but she wasn’t really Brian’s type. It all makes sense now, and Brian’s head is in a fog and his thoughts are a mess. He feels like he could breakdown and cry right then and there.

“You okay?” Claire asks.

“Can I come over?”

“Of course. You’ll just have to sneak through the window.”

“Alright.”

Claire’s window is open when Brian scales her home. He all but tosses himself through it and scares the hell out of Claire.

“Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” she asks, helping him up.

“Not actively,” he replies, standing and sitting his backpack down. Claire turns back around, and flops onto her bed.

“Okay. Talk to me about it,” she says, looking up at Brian. “And before you pull some bullshit excuse and say you don’t know how to describe it, or something stupid like that, you can trust me. I’m not going to tell anyone.”

“I-thanks. I just…I don’t know what to do. Claire, this shit’s just so weird. I saw him at Monroe’s today. He was with this girl, I’m pretty sure they were on a date, and it just left this pit in my stomach. I felt so hollow and disappointed. I felt like I was gonna be sick! Is this okay? Just…this feeling I have towards Andy, is it okay?” Brian’s desperate for validation at this point. His hands are tangled in his hair and he’s hunched over, pacing the floor. He’s so caught up in his thoughts, when Claire grabs his shoulders he jumps.

“Brian, hey, Brian, it’s fine. You’re fine. You’re okay,” she says, looking him directly in the eye. She rubs her thumbs across his shoulders gently, a small grin dancing across her face. It makes Brian smile, but he doesn’t feel any less nervous about how he feels. If Andy were to find out about how Brian felt about him, Andy would lose all contact. Brian’s skin starts to crawl.

“Don’t beat yourself up over this. Hey, I have a solution. I’ll raid my parents liquor cabinet, we get drunk, you don’t think about this. That sound good?” she suggests. Brian shrugs.

“I mean, yeah, sure. That sounds fine,” he shrugs and wipes his eyes. Brian can’t really argue with expensive wine either.

The night continues. Brian’s glad he doesn’t have work on Sunday, that way he can get plastered with Claire, and he falls asleep in a heap on her carpeted pink floor.

Claire wakes Brian up with the promising smell of breakfast, and he parents aren’t home either. They’d left that morning, apparently they were going to Bali and Claire didn’t want to come, so they have the entire house to themselves. While they’re eating, Claire points her fork towards Brian.

“Okay, so don’t kill me, but I figured out who Andy was on a date with,” Claire says.

“Oh my god, Claire!” Brian yelps, his voice coming out eight octaves higher than usual.

“Her name is Eileen, fancy, right? Well, anyway, he didn’t like her all that much so no second date. So, I decided that he should come on over and join our little party. Called my dad, pulled some strings, and you have off tomorrow now. Now we have a sad little party going down!” she says, tossing her hands in the air.

“You said ‘okay, so don’t kill me’ and somehow I knew I was going to want to kill you by the end of this conversation,” Brian says, shoving a bite of omelette into his mouth. Claire shrugs.

“Sometimes, dying is a worthy cause,” she feigns dramatically across her chair and lifts up giggling. Brian can’t help but laugh either.

“When’s he coming over to join our sad little party, huh?”

“I told him whenever, so hopefully soon. Says he’s been itchin’ to get out of the house for days now,” she shrugs. Brian hums and continues eating. The rest of breakfast passes peacefully, and it’s another hour before Andy appears at Claire’s door. Brian’s antsy, suddenly remembering his conversation with Claire last night.

Somehow, in some way, he’s going to fuck something up.

To be fair, it wasn’t Brian that ruined the night.

Somehow, Allison had found her way to Claire’s house, and when they opened the door, she was drenched in sweat and looked terrified. That was… interesting to say the least.

“Allison, hey,” Claire says.

“Bender’s in jail,” at least she’s straight to the point.

“Wait, what?” Andy asks, shock evident in his voice. None of them had really gotten along with Bender, and they’d always assumed he’d end up on prison, but now? They shouldn’t really be as shocked as they are.

“Armed robbery,” Allison says.

“Shocker,” Brian says, waving his hands in mock surprise.

“Where the fuck was he robbing?” Andy asks. Allison shrugs.

“No clue. Just called me with his one call and said he was going to prison,” she says.

“And you thought to tell us because,” Claire drags on the because. Allison rubs her arms.

“Listen, I just thought you’d want to know. That you’d, like, care or something. Guess I was wrong,” she says and begins to turn to walk away. There’s not really much the other three can do, so they watch her go. Claire closes the door.

“Well? Let’s get drunk!”

Andy is probably the most sober out of all three of them that night.

It’s also taking everything inside of Brian to not grab his face right there and kiss him senseless. Being drunk didn’t really help his case either. It just made Brian want to do things he knew he’d regret later. So, of course, he ends up doing it anyway.

Claire’s fallen asleep on her bed, and she’s thrown some pillows and blankets down for Brian and Andy. Brian finishes the bottle of Absolut, there wasn’t much left in it, and falls backwards into the nest of blankets he compiled for himself. Andy looks at him, a soft grin stretched across his face.

“What?” Brian asks, grinning. Andy wheezes and looks down at his lap.

“Nothing, nothing,” he says. Brian snorts and sits on his elbows, still laying down. Andy’s jaw looks sharper than it actually is in the soft yellow of Claire’s lamp. His cheeks look shallower than Brian remembers, like a sharp cut stone. The Standall house was always freezing, and then was no exception. Andy scoots closer Brian to where he’s almost hovering above Brian. The sight of Andy, the way he looks almost ethereal in the soft light, make Brian’s guts turn to mush and his stomach roll. He could kiss him, he could kiss him right now.

Andy beats him to the punch.

Andy dips down, his hand soft on Brian’s cheek, and he gently kisses him. It’s sloppy and they probably shouldn’t be doing it on Claire’s bedroom floor, but Brian’s satisfied. Brian wraps his arms around Andy’s neck, pulling him down to the floor with him. They pull away giggling.

The rest of the night is a blur.

Brian wakes up with a pounding headache and in a tangle of limbs and blankets. Andy has an arm wound around Brian, tucking him into his side. He smells like Old Spice and faintly of lavender; the smell in Claire’s room and also on her blankets and pillows. It’s not hard for Brian to wiggle out of Andy’s grip and then immediately shield his eyes from the sun. He wants to lay back down again, but he also doesn’t want to stay and see the consequences of his actions from last night. Claire is already downstairs, a glass of water in her hand. There’s no doubt in Brian’s mind that she’s already had some Tylenol. There’s no doubt in Brian’s mind that Claire saw him and Andy tangled together, but she says nothing about it.

“Hungry?” she asks.

“Not at all,” Brian says, rubbing his face. Claire hums and takes a sip of her water. It’s not too long before Andy stumbles downstairs, rubbing his eyes, and looking adorably dishevelled. His shorts hang low on his hips and his sweatshirt rides up a little, revealing a sliver of the tan skin of his torso. Brian feels his face flush and he quickly averts his eyes, drinking the rest of his water. He fidgets nervously.

“I should probably be getting home. I still have work tomorrow and I don’t think my mom would be too happy if I missed dinner for a third time,” Brian chuckles. Andy doesn’t look at him, doesn’t even seem to acknowledge him, but Claire nods. Andy taps his fingers on the counter before turning around, a strange look on his face.

“Hey, uh, Brian, can I talk to you for a second?” he asks. Brian has to swallow down the lump in his throat, the utter terror and panic that washes over him. He nods. They both walk out of the kitchen, leaving Claire alone, and she’s more than likely going to eavesdrop on the two of them.

“Do you remember what we did last night?” Andy asks. His hands are shaking.

“No.” It’s a lie. He does.

“Oh. We, uh, we kissed.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Uhm, I get it if you, like, don’t ever want to talk about it again. We were both drunk, so obviously it meant nothing, but…I just thought you should know that it happened,” Andy says. He sounds disappointed, almost defeated.

“Oh. Yeah. Uh, thanks,” Brian says.

He feels guilty. He feels wrong for lying to Andy about not remembering the kiss from the night before, like he’s broken a trust, a bond, between the two of them. Andy doesn’t waste any more time standing there. He seems upset, almost like he might cry, and he rushes back into the kitchen to avoid making contact with Brian.

Brian gathers his things and leaves.

The week is hell. Work is long and slow; he cuts himself off from his friends, and he doesn’t try to talk to his family at all. It’s two weeks before Claire gets fed up with his bullshit and drives herself to his home, and lets herself inside his room.

“Okay, you can’t mope around like this forever. Andy talked to me,” she says. Brian tenses and shifts uncomfortably, turning around to finally face Claire. Her arms are crossed and she has a more dominant flare than Brian. It’s like she owns the room.

“I don’t possibly know what you mean,” Brian says. Of course he does know what she means, he’d just rather not admit it. Claire raises an eyebrow.

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not!”

“Brian.”

“Fine.”

Claire sits on the edge of Brian’s bed. The door is shut and if they speak softly no one can hear them. They continue the conversation in whispers and Claire’s hand gently on top of Brian’s.

“You need to talk to Andy about it,” she says to him softly.

“I already told you, and him, that I don’t remember that night,” he says, more angry than he wants it to come out.

“Really? Do you really not remembering something as pivotal as your first kiss?” she asks. He was drunk, he thinks. An easy excuse out. “Listen, I know you were drunk, but you weren’t as drunk as your making yourself out to be.”

Well, there goes that excuse.

Claire forces Brian out of the house for some leisure time at the public pool. Again.

“I swear, if you pulled a stunt like you did last time, I have every legal right to leave your ass here,” Brian says, nonchalantly. He’s practically dead on his feet. Sleeping wasn’t as much of a priority as he would’ve liked it to have been, wallowing in self-pity was more of a chore.

Claire tans in a chair. Brian sits beside her, in another thin, white chair that’s on the brink of breaking; napping. He’s only awoken by Claire about an hour into his nap, when she’s shaking him so violently he thinks he’s about to die.

“Jesus Christ,” he says, rubbing his eyes. “What’s up?”

“We gotta go.”

“Why?”

“Trust me,” but Claire doesn’t have to say anymore. Brian notices Andy and the way he swaggers into the pool area like he owns the place.

“Fuck, dude. I told you I would leave your ass!” Brian is more distraught than anything.

“Do you think I’d be waking up and telling you to leave if I’d invited him in secret? Fuck, Brian,” Claire says.

“God, okay, okay, I’m coming.”

“Hurry before he notices us!”

“I’m going as fast as I can!”

“Too fucking late.”

“Shit.”

Andy notices them. He smiles at Claire, and when he notices Brian his smile falls a little. Still he approaches them.

“Where are you guys going?” he asks, voice chipper.

“We were just…we were just leaving,” Brian responds. There’s so much going through his mind. If he doesn’t go, there’s no way he won’t fuck up in some way with Andy again. He’s gotten rather talented at doing it, but he’d rather not admit that to himself right now.

“You guys should stay!”

You’re just saying that to be nice, Brian thinks.

“We really have to go,” Brian says. Andy sighs.

“Brian, can I talk to you?” Andy asks. Claire looks at Brian nervously.

“Uh, yeah,” Brian says.

“Alone.”

“I—yeah, sure. Fine,” Brian says, shrugging. Andy nods his heads towards the bathrooms and begins walking.

“Run to me if things get bad, okay?” Claire says, softly putting a hand on Brian’s shoulder.

“Of course.”

“Okay, what’s up?” Brian asks, leaning on the sinks. Andy scopes out the stalls making sure none of them are occupied. A public pool bathroom isn’t exactly the most private place to talk, but it was as good as they were going to get.

“What’s wrong with you? Do you have a problem with me?” Andy asks, putting his hands on his chest. His bare chest, for that matter. Brian averts his eyes, suddenly nervous. “No, I don’t have a problem with you. There’s nothing wrong with me.”

“That sounds hilarious. You’ve been avoiding me for, what? Days now?”

“To be fair, I also avoided Claire.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t kiss her while you were drunk.”

Brian flushes and falters. He crosses his arms and runs his hands up and down them.

“That’s not what it is.”

“Is it not? God, I’m starting to wish I’d never told you. Maybe this wouldn’t be so fucking awkward.”

“Sometimes you need to shut up.”

“Brian, you ca—” Andy never gets the chance to finish. Brian wraps his arms around Andy’s neck and kisses him. For a moment, Andy doesn’t do anything. Brian starts to panic and pulls away, but it’s not too long before Andy is kissing him again. It’s more desperate than soft. There’s a hint of yearning, like both boys have been waiting for years, just for this moment.

They’ve pushed themselves into one of the stalls, luckily, by the time someone walks in. They pull away and giggle, Brian’s head falling into the crook of Andy’s neck. Andy kisses the top of Brian’s head.

“We can’t just pretend this didn’t happen,” Andy sighs softly into Brian’s hair. Brian feels his body tense. What else was he expecting? Both of them are wide awake and clearly not intoxicated; Brian can’t play this off as some drunk mistake.

Brian shakes.

He’s not straight.

“Why can’t we, though?” he asks, lifting his head from the crook of Andy’s neck.

“I think the reason is quite clear,” Andy says, confused. He looks like a lost puppy, and Brian doesn’t want to kick him. There’s no way that Brian is gay, he can’t be. He can’t be gay. “Neither of us are drunk, and we’re both in the right state of mind, so… We can’t pass this one off.”

“Oh. I feel like we can, though,” Brian says. He tries not to shake.

“Brian, we can’t.”

Brian drops Claire off at home and doesn’t say a word.

He doesn’t go home, either. He has thirty-two dollars in his wallet, which isn’t enough to eat out and find a motel, and god forbid gas.

He doesn’t care.

There’s so much going on with him right now. Brian feels like he’s going to lose his fucking mind if he doesn’t get out though. He turns his phone on do not disturb and throws it into the passenger’s side seat.

Brian pulls up into the parking lot of a diner in Missouri.

There’s almost no cars in the parking lot, and from what Brian can see there’s only an old couple sitting at a booth in the diner. It’s bright and colorful, and Brian feels his shoes sticking to the floor when he walks into the diner. The hostess, a tired girl around Brian’s age, doesn’t question why he’s here so late at night. She looks at him with lidded eyes and a tight lipped smile while she seats him, and wishes him a goodnight when he’s settled. The waitress is an older woman, probably in her thirties, and she takes his drink order quickly.

The table feels greasy and sticky, and so does the booth. Brian wants to go wash his hands.

When he’s done eating, he bids the waitress goodnight and tips her nicely. It feels nice to leave the diner and it’s sticky, greasy atmosphere. Once he’s in his car, he finally checks his phone. Claire, his mom, his sister, his father; everyone has called him.

Even Andrew.

He calls Andy back.

“Hey, oh my God, hey.”

“Hey, Andy.”

“Jesus, we thought you were, like, dead or something. Like you got kidnapped. Where are you?”

“Missouri.”

“Jesus fucking christ, you did get kidnapped!”

“No, I didn’t. Just had to get out.”

“Get out? Why is your definition of get out go to Missouri?”

“I don’t know.”

“God, Brian, what’s up with you?”

“You! You are what’s up, Andy!”

“Me?”

“Yes! You waltzed in this summer, and over the school year, and something about you just… messed with me. Ever since that day in detention, I haven’t felt the same. Then you kissed me when we were drunk, and something just felt right! I know I told you that I didn’t remember that, but I was lying because I was scared. Then you just kissed me in that bathroom like there was nothing wrong, and it all made sense. Andy, I’m fucking scared.”

“Come back home, we can talk about this.”

“I-okay. I’ll be there later.”

Andy is at Brian’s house when he gets there early in the morning. The sun is rising. Andy is half asleep and leaning against the railing of the stairs. He’s wrapped in his thin blue windbreaker, and he perks when he hears Brian slam his car door. His hair is a mess and when Brian looks closer, it seems that he hasn’t slept a wink except for the nodding off he just did.

“Hey,” he says softly, wiping his eyes. He pats the concrete beside him.

“Hey,” Brian replies, sitting down.

“So… let’s talk, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“You remember our drunk kiss?”

“Yeah, I, uh, I do.”

“Why’d you say you didn’t?” Andy asks. He doesn’t sound angry, just confused. There’s a soft tone of disappointment and sadness deep in his voice. It makes Brian feel guilty. He grabs Andy’s hand and squeezes.

“Because I didn’t know my feelings at that moment. I just-I thought lying would be easier, y’know? I still don’t know myself enough, but I think I know enough,” Brian shrugs.

“I’m bi.”

“Oh. Oh, okay.”

“I’m not like out to my family, really anyone for that matter, but I feel like you should know that.”

“It’s nice to know,” Brian says. Andy rubs his thumb against Brian’s. “I think I might be gay.”

“Nice. You know I’m always there to talk if you need it, yeah? Sexuality isn’t like a quick trip journey, this is gonna take awhile,” Andy says, turning to face Brian instead of the sunrise.

“Yeah. Thanks, though, really,” Brian says. Andy pulls their combined hands up and kisses Brian’s knuckles.

“Of course. Anything for you.”

[betweensceneswriter]

Island Hopper-Chapter 23: Cocos Island

The basics:  Claire is a Peace Corps volunteer nurse and Jamie is a Peace Corps teacher on an atoll in the Marshall Islands.  After a whirlwind romance and swift marriage (detailed in Jimjeran Book 1), Claire and Jamie are adjusting to married life.  Currently, they are visiting her family on Guam for Christmas (in this version, she’s one of four siblings with an Air Force chaplain as a dad... and Jamie’s dad didn’t die). 

Previously on Island Hopper:  Chapter 20: Tarzan Falls A hike with friends, and an unexpected reunion at Our Lady of Lourdes.

Island Hopper (Jimjeran Book 2) Full Table of Contents

Island Fever (Jimjeran Book 1) Table of Contents

    The Cocos Island ferry dock was at the southern end of the island so it took us a good hour to get there, traveling in the busy traffic on Marine Drive and through the bustling capitol city of Guam, Agaña.

    Finally at the Cocos Island parking lot we discovered we had arrived at the same time as a crowd of Seth’s friends from the University of Guam, and shortly after we had parked and unloaded all of our things a taxi carrying both John and Joe arrived. Jamie looked at me with a curious smile as the two handsome men walked toward us across the parking lot.

    “They’re just saving money by taking a taxi together,” I suggested nonchalantly, my heart in my throat, face flushing.  “It’s expensive to get around the island.” I stared at the two of them as inconspicuously as I could, wondering if there was more to the sharing of a taxi than I implied.  

    We purchased our tickets at the office and waited for the ferry to arrive at the dock, though we quickly determined it wouldn’t take long gauging from the view we had of the rapidly advancing boat.

    While we waited, I peeled off my cover-up and had Jamie apply sunscreen to my back and shoulders.

    “Christ, Claire, dinna ye think this is something we should have done away from the eyes of a crowd?” he whispered to me.  “Seriously, lass, it seems each day you find new and different ways to torture me.”

    I laughed and put the cover-up back on once he was done.

    On the ride, Seth shouted introductions to his friends over the constant rumble of the boat engines. Dora, Savannah, Alissa, Ramona, Patrick, Ed, Andrew.

    The four girls were young and bubbly, tossing their long hair over their shoulders or pulling it out of their faces as they wrestled with the warm breeze.  I had already admitted defeat and had twisted my curls up in a tousled bun.

    “This is my sister, Claire,” Seth yelled, leaning toward his friends but gesturing towards me.

    “Hi, Claire,” said one of them, reaching across the boat to shake hands with me.

    “And this is her husband, Jamie,” Seth bellowed.

    Most of them smiled and nodded, but I caught a faint look of something next to surprise or disgust cross the face of the girl Seth had introduced as Ramona, the one blonde of the group. Maybe I was reading to much into it, but her facial expression seemed to be saying ‘he's married to you?” I smiled at her, but I doubt it reached my eyes, and then I turned my gaze toward the island as we approached.

    Fortunately the ride was neither long nor the ocean too choppy, so Jamie only looked slightly sallow by the time we arrived.  

    Cocos Island was a little resort off the coast of Guam. When I had been a teenager living there, it was a common place for eighth-grade class field trips and Japanese tourists, the yen being strong against the dollar. This appeared to still be true from the number of teenagers and petite, sunburnt Asians we saw walking along the beach. Palm-frond umbrellas, picnic tables, and lounge chairs joined the palm trees edging the wide white sand expanse of the beach. On the other side of the dock, a large area bounded by floating buoys indicated the region where rented jet skis were to stay.

    The college girls quickly took charge, directing the boys towards an unoccupied semi-shady spot on the sand. We spread out quilts and set down backpacks, both John and Joe establishing themselves near Jamie and myself, farther away from the high-pitched talk and flirtatious giggling of the young ladies. They teased and cajoled until the collegiate men gave in and went out to wade in the ocean, though my guess was that their true intent was to bounce around in their bikinis and get doused with water to make the clingy fabric cling even more.   I watched them curiously, realizing with slight dismay that this was Jamie’s peer group—kids in the 18-22 year age group.

    John and Joe asked Jamie if he wanted to explore the island.  They invited me as well, but not wanting to interrupt the male bonding I declined, finding myself amused enough just observing the strange mating rituals of American college students.  It had been a long time since those days.

    “What are ye doing, hen?” Jamie’s voice startled me, but I regained my composure as he sat down on the sand next to me.

    “Watching people,” I replied with a grin.

    “Which ones?” he asked.

    “Those two,” I said, pointing over toward Shelly and one of Seth's friends. Was it Patrick?  No, maybe it was Ed.  I remembered that he was tall and dark-haired, and looked more Latino than Chamorro or Filipino. “I’m watching Shelly and whoever that is,” I said, making another gesture in their direction.

    “Hush,” Jamie said, quickly grabbing my hand and pulling it downward into his lap.  “Didna your parents teach ye it's rude to point?”

    I smirked back at him. Nevertheless, he followed the direction my finger had indicated and saw Shelly blushing prettily, lowering her eyelashes and then looking up and meeting the handsome young man's gaze.

    “‘Um,’” Jamie squeaked, “‘Could you help me find my swimsuit? I know it's around here somewhere…’” It took me a moment to realize this was his version of Shelly.

    I elbowed him in the side.

    “Don't talk about my sister that way,” I grumbled in semi-perturbed response.

    “Seriously, Ri-pālle,” he said, turning to me and speaking as himself, “What young ladies think passes for swimwear these days… Why, if I had a daughter, I wouldna let her wear such a tiny suit.”

    “She looks good in it,” I said, inspecting her. “You want to penalize her for being pretty?  You're too conservative.”

    “Aye, perhaps I am,” Jamie replied. “But look at the way he's looking at her, eating her wi’ his eyes.”

    “No…” I contradicted.  “That’s not it at all. ‘You seem intelligent and well-spoken,’” I offered in a deep voice. “‘I am deeply interested in your thoughts and dreams. What do you think of the current state of affairs with North Korea?’”

    Jamie leaned over and kissed me on the forehead. “Ye are quite amusing, wee one.”

    “Can't a guy feel both ways?” I asked. “Interested in a girl as a person AND attracted to her physically?”

    “Aye,” he conceded with a smile.  “I guess I'm just feeling protective.”

    “Because you liked me as a person first, right?” I asked.

    “Definitely,” he said, looking away at the white sand rimmed by turquoise water. “Though I was aware of you as a woman from nearly the beginning.” He returned his gaze to me, his eyes traveling appreciatively over my body, punctuating his comment with a low whistle.  My insides quivered at the expression on his face and I flushed and turned away, hearing the approach of footsteps on the sand.

    “Come swimming with us,” Joe panted, sitting down beside me. “I like John well enough, but I came out here to visit my friend!”

    John grinned as he squatted off to the side. He really was a nice-looking guy with his tanned skin and a muscular but slim build, kind eyes and bright smile.

    “We’re people-watching,” Jamie offered. “Join us.”  He nodded his head toward Shelly and her handsome young friend. “‘I'm going to be a climate scientist,’” Jamie squeaked. “‘And I think the cause of global warming is you!’”

    Not missing a beat, John added in a masterful falsetto,“‘You walk by, and my temperature goes up by two degrees!’”

    Jamie guffawed, and Joe gave John a high five while I pretended it wasn't funny and rolled my eyes.

    “Seriously, Claire, come swim.”

    “Soooo many reasons not to,” I objected.

    “Such as?” Joe asked.

    “Sharks.  Coral scars.  Salt water--which makes my skin sticky and my hair frizzy.”

    “Then come to the pool,” John urged.  “You can’t object to that--this is our chance to play! Ejjab ri-jowan!”

    I looked at Jamie for the translation. “Don’t be lazy,” he said with a grin. I took Jamie’s proffered hand and got up, brushing the sand from my backside and following the guys to the pool.

    Once there, I sat on the edge with my legs in the water, not eager to get into the semi-cold pool.  The boys seemed less reluctant, jumping in almost immediately.  Joe decided to swim laps, having claimed that he had been eating too much and without going to the gym he wasn’t getting enough exercise to burn the calories he was consuming.  Though I couldn’t see a spare ounce on his toned abdomen, I had shrugged and shooed him off.

    “How has your visit been?” I asked John, who waded through the water to me and leaned against the side of the pool where he joined me in watching Joe’s long arms beat a steady rhythm as he swam laps, and Jamie’s back as he climbed up the ladder on the deep end of the pool.

    “Far more interesting than I expected it to be,” he responded, “Though Aikwij and Emily have said they thought they’d see more of me.”

    “Oh, I’m so sorry!” I apologized.  “We just wanted to include you.  We wouldn’t have asked as often if we’d thought we were offending your family.”

    “I’m not sorry,” John replied, following Jamie with his eyes as my muscular husband walked to the diving board and paused, checking to make sure Joe was at the far end of the pool. “I’ve missed Jamie the last couple of years, and it’s been lovely to see so much of the island with your family.  And to meet Joe, too,” he said, with a shy smile.

    I soon saw a side of Jamie I hadn’t observed before as he climbed the steps to the diving board and did a graceful backwards dive into the pool.  He came up out of the water grinning and quickly swam to the shallow end.  Once he reached us, he shook his head violently, showering me with water and making the curls pop up all over his scalp. Instead of squealing, I just glared at him, rolled my eyes, and kept on talking to John.

    Eventually I succumbed to pressure and went in swimming with the boys, but soon, feeling more chilled than I had in months, I retreated to the women’s locker room in the pool house to take a warm shower.

    I had wrapped myself in my towel and curled up on one of the lounge chairs under the palm trees by the pool when I saw Jamie exit the men’s locker room.  He shaded his eyes, looking around then heading away from me toward the beach.  I saw at least two sets of giggly girls--sunburned and simpering--parade past him.  I watched him, looking for his response to other women.  He seemed friendly enough, stepping to the side to allow them the right-of-way--but I didn’t see him ogle.  That didn’t mean anything, of course.  I knew plenty of guys who had mastered the art of the non-head-turning stare.

    There were three girls off to my right. From appearances, I couldn’t tell whether they were high school or college-aged and I didn’t want to seem like a stalker.  However, I couldn’t help but hear as bits of their conversation wafted in my direction.

    “Oh my god, look at that piece of man candy,” one of the girls said.  I scanned the poolside to see who they were talking about.

    “You mean that redhead? He is damn fine!” was the response.  I felt a flush of embarrassed pride as I realized that they were talking about Jamie.  I burrowed deeper into my towel, not sure I wanted Jamie to see me at that precise moment.

    There were a few murmurs of appreciation from the young ladies, and one girl declared confidently, “I’d go down on that and then give him the ride of his life.”

    I nearly snorted as I tried to keep down my laughter.  Having already done both of those things multiple times, I had a strong suspicion she'd be hard pressed to give him ‘the ride of his life.’

    Finally, Jamie reached a place where he could survey most of the beach, including the location claimed by Seth and his friends.  Not finding me among them, he turned back toward the pool.

    I could tell when he noticed me from the smile that spread across his face.  Instead of meandering he headed straight for me, pulled the lounge chair next to me a little closer, and stretched his length out on the chair.

    I could hear disappointed exclamations from the trio but worked to ignore them.  After all, what did it matter what they thought?

    Jamie grabbed my hand, brought it up to his lips and kissed it, releasing it slowly as he ran his cheek down the back of my hand.

    “You shaved today!” I exclaimed at the unusual softness.

    “So did you,” he remarked, running a finger gently up my thigh at which I shivered.

    We sat in silence for a few minutes, taking in the view of breakers crashing on the coral barrier reef that protected the small outlying island, causing the waves that reached the sandy beach to gently lap at the shore.

    “You seem lost in thought,” Jamie said, looking up at me from the lounge chair, one arm behind his head as a pillow.  “I could swear you were going to start talking at least four times by now.” At my furrowed forehead he explained himself, “I ken because ye always take a half-breath when you have something to say.”

    He waited then as I thought through the jumble in my mind and finally came out with my question.

    “What if I'm your Frank?” I asked.

    “What do you mean?” he asked.  I lowered my lounge chair back so I could lie next to him, affording us more privacy in the conversation.

    “It’s possible that I’m your Frank.  I’m stable.  I’m settled.  I’m mature.” As Jamie raised his eyebrows skeptically, I added honestly “--ish.”

    “I think ye have an overly high opinion of your maturity,” he joked.

    I could see he didn’t understand what I meant.  “No, let me explain,” I insisted, trying to keep my thoughts straight. “I started dating Frank because in comparison to the guys in my peer group, he was a catch.  Responsible, hardworking, established, mature.”

    “And so you are proposing…” Jamie started the sentence, waiting for me to finish it.

    “That that’s the real reason you liked me.  That in comparison to other twenty-somethings I was relatively settled in life.  Stable. And that appealed to you.”

    Jamie scoffed and shook his head.  “Ye are not my Frank,” he contradicted. “Certainly those qualities appealed to me.  But there’s more to us than that.  Consider, Claire.  Ye arna with me just because I’m younger.  It certainly wasn’t for my age that you were attracted to me, was it?”

    “No…” I mused in response. “In fact, it was probably a hindrance.”

    “Aye,” Jamie said.  His face softened.  “I admired you, yes, for your talents & intelligence.  But I also felt a strong attraction, so I didna look at ye and think ‘Claire’s too old for me.’”  Not meeting my eyes, he added, “The only time I even thought about it was when you tried to push me away, using me being Seth’s age as some sort of excuse, some sort of reason that I wasna yer equal.”

    He looked truly troubled now, forehead wrinkled, and I began to feel slightly nauseated.

    “I think we’ve been through this before, though,” I said.  “Your age was just an easy excuse.  In a way I was shaming myself for the way I was feeling--falling in love with you, wanting to be unfaithful to Frank--and I only meant to push you away. I couldn’t tell you how I really felt.”

    Jamie took a slow, ragged breath.

    “Oh babe, I hurt you…” I said with sudden recognition.

    He was looking at me then, an uncertain shadow in his eyes.

    “I’m sorry, Jamie,” I insisted. “That wasn’t my intent.” It seemed like he was drifting away from me, so I reached for his hand, wanting something to connect us.

    “You didna think you could trust me with the truth?” he asked.  

    “No, it wasn’t that I couldn't trust you,” I insisted.  “I couldn’t trust myself to be vulnerable.  We were already too intimate.  Sharing how I truly felt would have just opened me up that much more.”

    He looked away.

    “Really, Jamie.  Do you really think I could have said all that to you?...  I’m here in the Marshall Islands because I’m questioning my relationship with my fiance and I’m kind of hoping to break up with him while we are apart but I’m trying to fool myself into thinking there’s something to save and so I’m going to push you away because although you are the first person I’ve ever connected with in this way, I feel a deep sense of guilt that I couldn’t make a relationship with a good guy work?”

    Finally Jamie was smiling, shaking his head slightly as he looked down at our joined hands. “Aye,” he said.  “That would have been about right.”

    “But am I your Frank?” I asked.  “Are you going to outgrow me?  Will you find me too staid and—yes—mature for you as time goes by?”

    Jamie sat up, leaned over, and kissed me firmly. “Hush, wee one.”

    I paused, stunned by his swiftness, a little mortified that he’d claimed me in the presence of the young women, and suddenly ashamed of myself.

    “I’m doing it again, aren’t I?” I asked.  He settled back on the chair but watched me through eyes half-closed to shield him from the sun.

    “Aye,” he said with a sigh.  “Ye need constant reassurance that I mean what I say, and that makes me wonder if you trust me.  Have I ever done or said anything to lead you to believe that I am regretful about marrying you? Or...” he paused briefly, “that I’m no’ satisfied with our life together?”

    “No...” I answered slowly, then repeated myself with more force.  “No, Jamie.  Not at all.  You seem happy. But I would regret marrying me,” I stated.  

    He laughed and stroked the back of my hand with his thumb.

    “Ri-pālle… Do you have some vision of me as a perfect man?” he asked.  His sudden insight silenced me. Probably, I thought. I probably did see him as somehow better than I.

    “You’re so beautiful, Jamie,” I said slowly, watching the faint pink creep over his face in response. “I still find myself looking at you sometimes and marveling at you.  And you were such an innocent when we married.”

    “Innocent?” he scoffed briefly.  “Virginity at marriage doesn't qualify me to be canonized to sainthood,” he said. “Considering that we were engaged a mere three days, my resolve was truly untested.”

    I giggled, remembering a heady make-out session in the dark overlooking the beach, and another episode of first-time experiences in his classroom the afternoon before our wedding.

    “Ye canna idolize me, hen,” he said, a smile quirking his own lips and recognition filling his eyes. “Ye canna think me perfect simply because I haven’t had the opportunity to deeply disappoint you yet.”

    I watched the play of light through the palm trees on his face.  

    “You’re probably right,” I said.  “I’m asking too many questions.  And I didn’t choose you simply because of your age.”

    “No,” he agreed.  “You chose me because we were like-minded.  Because we enjoyed each other's company.”

    “Because you filled my heart in a way it had never been filled before,” I said quietly.

    “And do ye not see that you also fill mine?” he said quietly.

    I could see it then, in the way his eyes crinkled at the corner in affection.  He lifted his hand to my face, stroking my cheek.

    “So then, you didna leave him because he was too mature, did you?” he asked.

    “No,” I agreed.  “I left because we just weren’t connecting, and I knew there had to be something more.”

    I meant it, and I could feel tears welling up in my eyes as I looked at him.

    Jamie swallowed hard, his face flushing. “God, I want to kiss ye.  And I ken I could, that it isna Arno,” he said.  “But there are some school girls over there that keep staring at us, and I don’t want to debauch their innocent minds by attacking ye here and now.”

    I laughed with an almost-snort.  “Innocent minds?  You have no idea,” I replied.

    “Come, love,” he said, pulling me to my feet. “Let’s join the others.  It’s been a lovely day, but I think we should catch the next boat home.”

Next up:  Chapter 24: Stag Night Seth wants to give Jamie a stag night, and Joe and John have a bachelorette night with Claire.

[thevagabondvantage]

Have faith. I take these words with me on my way up to the high dive. I feel the floor beneath me change from gentle concrete to strict metal. The smell of chlorine fades as I climb. Higher and higher, my toes curl with uneasiness if I look down. I’ve done this before, and I will certainly do it again.

Be in the moment. Twenty-five metres above the surface; nothing can bother me now. The things I found funny just moments below aren’t funny anymore. All the noise melts away. The real world looks so far away from such heights - a distance I’ve grown to love. My shoulders push back with deep urgency. My body knows what to do, I just have to let it. 

Trust in what you know. The key to a great dive is mental preparation and physical relaxation. Despite my need for absolute control, I have to let go and just let it happen. I straighten my back. Is it always this stiff right before a plunge? Hopes high and head forward, I relax my ankles, bend my knees, and let gravity decide.

-----

Everything strikes into pure silence the minute I make contact with the water. My favorite place in the world is twenty-five metres below the surface. For just a moment, I am at complete peace with all existence. The water doesn’t judge me or give me disapproving expressions. Anxiety and expectation are a world away; the only pressure I can sense is water pressure.

Air; you’ve never truly breathed until you’ve taken your first breath after a dive. Maybe the water knocks the air out of my lungs, or maybe I routinely expel it all just before impact. Regardless, the replenishment is better than sex! Or so I’ve been told…

Back on the land of concrete and opinions, I’m greeted by a towel and some Powerade. There’s still water trapped in my left ear, which is a telltale sign of a great dive. I tilt my head and let the excess water drain. I tossle the towel through my hair and let it hang from my shoulders. Two sips of Powerade later, I’ve caught my breath and feel like a new man. 

“Daniel Rogers,” a voice booms from behind me. “You’re something, kid. You know that?” Coach Jennings cusps his overly-dominant hand over my shoulder. “To think that the scrawny, hyperactive ten year old I met eight years ago would turn out to be my best diver…” His smile shared every bit of his pride. Jennings is a great coach! He took me under his wing back when I could barely finish a fifty yard freestyle and has been a second father to me. He and his wife, Alison, don’t have any kids of their own, so they make it a habit to “adopt” his swimmers and her tennis players.

“Last meet of the year! How do you feel?” We’d found a seat near the scoring room. I made an “I’m gonna barf” face in response, we both chuckled. Coach liked to give me post-practice/pre-meet pep talks, and - today - I needed it. “You’re gonna kill it, Rogers! And who knows? Some recruiters may be in the stands tonight,” he assured me . I’d already been scouted by four different universities, but none were the right fit quite yet.

“You’re keeping something from me, and I don’t like it,” I teased back. Coach grinned with smug satisfaction. 

“What would you do if I told you Notre Dame was coming tonight?” Holy shit.

“For me?!”

“And for Diaz! But mainly for you.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Well, what do you think?” I had a lot of thoughts, but nothing that needed to be said aloud.

“I think I need a shower.” I grabbed my Powerade and headed for the locker room.

Steam encircles the shower room, censoring anything and everything from the the naked eye. The benches were lined with discarded Speedos - I followed suit. I learned a long time ago that it’s only weird if you make it weird. I don’t have a horrible body. I could use less here and a little more there, but who couldn’t? As far as hardware is concerned, I may not have the most impressive tool, but it certainly gets the job done. The guys who make a spectacle of their equipment usually don’t last more than a season for one reason or another.

After showering and changing, the guys make small talk - ranging anywhere from one recent encounter with a pair of breasts to another encounter with a different pair of breasts. Sometimes we talk about baseball or panic over what the AP Biology assignment was the night before, but it always seems to make its way back to the female anatomy. I never have much to share, but am always down to listen to their “woes of hoes”.

Garrett, Nate, and I take turns playing “soccer mom” in our makeshift carpool - a tradition we started the minute we were allowed to drive. Today, I host us in my grandfather’s truck.

“Notre Dame?!” Nate exclaims.

“Notre Dame, man!” I hit back.

“Notre Damn, son!” Garrett is the worst. “Of course - this can only happen to you. You’re the luckiest guy I know. You turn down UCLA without any good reason and Notre Dame comes running after you. Like I said, Notre Damn... If I’d done that, I’d be stuck at community college for the rest of my life.” Garrett was rushing to copy the last few problems from our math homework.

“Aren’t you nervous?” Nate always asks the right question at the most inconvenient time. It was a damn gift, if you ask me. 

“Not really,” I lied. Truth be told, my stomach had been doing somersaults since Jennings dropped the bomb. I wish he hadn’t told me, but had no control over that, and it was starting to really freak me out.

“Well, I’d be a wreck if Notre Dame wanted to see me stick the landing,” Nate laughed. “Just make sure you remember us mediocres when you go Olympian!” I roll my eyes as we pull into the parking lot. I look at the clock - 8:00 on the dot. I can make or break all of my potential in just ten hours. Try to have that ringing through your mind during a history test - I don’t recommend it.

-----

“On deck - Varsity Men’s High Dive - Rogers, Lyle, and Denton!” Coach’s yell somehow cuts through the sound of a million parents and spectators. Two more events and we’re on. I’ve made it this far, and nothing can hold me back. I look out to the stands to scout for some familiar faces, that always calms me down. 

The first person I see is Becca, one of my exes, which has the reverse effect. She gave me a look so cold it could freeze the equator. I shrug it off and keep searching. I make eye contact with a cute blonde. She smiles and waves excitedly, which catches me by surprise. I start to wave back, but quickly realize she wasn’t waving at me in the first place. Chris Denton, standing a couple of feet to my left, waves back at her, smiling like a dog. I hope and pray it’s one of his sisters. Last, I finally see my mom. She came prepared with a camera and foam finger. Embarrassing as she may be, I can never accuse her of being anything other than supportive. 

I wish the scout from Notre Dame would have had a huge sign behind him so I could find him. Or at least a Notre Dame hat! Not knowing was so nerve-racking. There were a lot of people I didn’t recognize, so he could be anybody. For all I know, he could actually be a she! 

Garrett and Nate, my next-biggest fans, are on the benches a few yards away. Garrett does a weird dance to make me laugh while Nate gives me a reassuring smile. They’d both won their individual events, so it was up to me to bring the final crown of glory - the high dive. As another set of divers make their way up the steps, my stomach knots.

Coach Jennings must have smelled my insecurity. He cusps his hand over my shoulder in his signature fashion.

“Last swim meet of the season. How you feeling, son?” I wish he hadn’t have called me son.  Any other nickname would have been better. “Shit-brain” would have been easier to hear! I look up at him, fear flaring from my blue eyes. He catches the drift. “Remember, boy, history is written by the victors. You’re the best diver this team has seen. No judge, critic, or university can ever tell you otherwise!” He looks me in the eye, like a father to his son, and delivers a message I will never forgot. “Have faith, be in the moment, and trust in what know.”

The last set of divers emerge from the water. Time has caught up, and it’s time to face reality. My heart races as I try to find my center. I feel as if I were a surgeon with an awfully unsteady hand - one wrong move and I end a life. Whether I like it or not, it’s time; do, or dive.

-----

Have faith. I take these words with me on my way up to the high dive. I feel the floor beneath me change from gentle concrete to strict metal. The smell of chlorine fades as I climb. Higher and higher, my toes curl with uneasiness if I look down. I’ve done this before, and I will certainly do it again.

Be in the moment. Twenty-five metres above the surface; nothing can bother me now. The things I found funny just moments below aren’t funny anymore. All the noise melts away. The real world looks so far away from such heights - a distance I’ve grown to love. My shoulders push back with deep urgency. My body knows what to do, I just have to let it. 

Trust in what you know. The key to a great dive is mental preparation and physical relaxation. Despite my need for absolute control, I have to let go and just let it happen. I straighten my back. Is it always this stiff right before a plunge? Hopes high and head forward, I relax my ankles, bend my knees, and let gravity decide.

[ma-sulevin]

Three Days, Three Nights

A fake dating AU. Chapter One: The Week Before.

Rating: T (for now)

Relationship: Cullen Rutherford/Asha Trevelyan

Summary: When Cullen has to go home to visit his family for a three day weekend, he's afraid that they're going to try and set him up... again. The Iron Bull suggests that Asha Trevelyan go with him and pretend to be his girlfriend, keeping Cullen's family happy and keeping Cullen free of their meddling.

Neither of them is really prepared for what that means.

Also on AO3.

“Any fun plans for the holiday weekend?”

Asha looks up when she hears Bull’s voice booming in from the hallway, but she can just see his dress shirt straining across his broad back. He’s talking to Cullen, then, and she turns her attention back to her computer screen. The cursor blinks in the blank word document, a silent judgment on the amount of work she’s done so far this morning.

Cullen’s reply is too quiet for her to hear, and she reaches for her coffee cup without looking at it before raising it to her lips.

It’s empty.

“Not looking forward to it, then?” Bull’s voice is too loud, distracting. Or perhaps that’s just her little headache begging for more coffee before she can write any more letters.

She stands and stretches out her shoulders before moving to push past Bull to go to the little break room down the hall. He moves just enough to more fully block her path, glancing over his shoulder to send her a little smirk.

“I bet the boss here would be able to help you with that,” he says, moving again so that Asha can see directly into Cullen’s office. He’s sitting at his desk, glasses perched on his nose and sleeves pushed up toward his elbows, a scowl and blush warring on his face.

Asha leans against her doorframe, holding her empty mug in both hands. “Are you having trouble with one of the kids, Cullen?” she asks, tilting her head to the side to study his expression.

He shakes his head at her, but it’s Bull who answers. “Cullen here has a perfectly good invitation for a weekend at his folks’, but he doesn’t want to go home alone.”

Cullen pulls his glasses off and rubs at his forehead, a heavy sigh making his shoulders sag.

“Wait--” Asha resists the impulse to rub her forehead in a sympathetic echo. “What’s wrong with going home alone?”

Cullen’s face is steadily reddening, and he glances from Asha to Bull and back before answering. “Last year, Rosalie invited one of her friends to be my date and didn’t tell me until she was there, and then she followed me around all day. She kept pinching my--pinching me.” Cullen corrects whatever it was he was starting to say with a little cough, and Asha shifts so she can hide her grin behind her hand.

And then Bull’s words come back to her. The boss here would be able to help you out with that. Her cheeks start to heat too, and she sees the moment that Bull realizes his plan is starting to work. She hates him for it, but only for a moment before her traitorous body is taking over for her brain.

“I could go with you,” she offers, making an effort to sound casual even as Cullen’s gaze snaps back to hers in surprise. “I’ll fight off any of your sister’s friends who try to make a move on you.” She grins and holds her breath.

She’s been wanting to spend more time with Cullen for months. And on a vacation--even one to hang out with his family--would be a good opportunity to see past Work Cullen and get to know the Real Cullen.

And it isn’t like she has plans otherwise. She was going to spend the three-day weekend getting rid of the last of the moving boxes still in her apartment, maybe paint her bedroom or have a movie marathon. Spending a few days with Cullen has the potential to be much more exciting.

Bull’s grin is starting to look smug. “See? It’s perfect. You go with Cullen, see how true Fereldans celebrate their Independence Day, and his sister leaves him alone. It’s a win-win.”

Asha turns her attention back to Cullen, who is now looking at Bull with a pleading expression. “How do you people celebrate it, anyway?”

Cullen heaves another sigh. “Eating. A lot. Fireworks. Swimming. Games.” He starts to shuffle papers around on his desk, indicating he’s done with the conversation.

Asha tries to picture Cullen hanging out with an annoying sister and a bunch of kids, eating pie and playing games, wearing swim trunks and splashing around in the water…

“That… doesn’t sound so bad,” she says, voice a little too dreamy. She’s definitely blushing now.

Cullen looks up at her, eyes still wide, and she shrugs. She’s committed to this now.

“Free food and fireworks? I think I could deal with that for a weekend.” Cullen is still staring at her, forehead furrowed, so she looks up at Bull’s shit-eating grin. She frowns and holds up her empty cup. “I just came out for coffee, not to make weekend plans.”

Finally, Bull steps out of her way, and she scurries down the hallway to the break room, Bull’s laughter following behind her.

She takes her time refilling her cup, doctoring her coffee with a little more care than strictly required, trying to give Bull time to go back to his desk to leave her and Cullen alone. Not only do they have work to get done--a little more than usual, given their vacations coming up--but she doesn’t want to have to look either of them in the face and pretend like she doesn’t think the idea of spending a three day weekend with Cullen is more appealing than it should be.

Bull is gone when she returns, and when she glances in Cullen’s office, he has his headphones in. He needs privacy, then, so she shuts her door behind her and settles back into her chair.

There’s an instant message waiting for her when she banishes the computer’s screensaver.

[Cullen R:] So about that.

That’s it. No indication of what he might be thinking.

Asha slips her shoes off under her desk and cracks her knuckles.

[Asha T:] yeah?

[Cullen R:] I’m sorry Bull ambushed you.

[Asha T:] lol he’s done worse

[Asha T:] I’m not upset

[Asha T:] don’t worry about it

[Cullen R:] Good.

A few seconds pass where Asha stares at the little window, waiting to see if he has more to say. The icon that indicates he’s typing appears and disappears for a few times before the next message comes through.

[Cullen R:] I don’t suppose you would actually be interested in coming with me? They live in South Reach so it’s a few hours away, but nothing we can’t easily drive.

[Cullen R:] Mia would be thrilled if I actually brought someone with me.

[Asha T:] Rosalie’s friend will be disappointed!

[Cullen R:] She’ll be okay. Trust me.

Asha stifles her laugh behind her hand as though he would be able to hear across the hall and through her closed door.

[Asha T:] how could I abandon you to such a fate? when are you leaving and coming back?

[Cullen R:] I’m driving down Friday afternoon after work. I’ll probably leave here about four. And then I’m driving back Monday after breakfast so I can have time to relax before coming back to work Tuesday.

[Cullen R:] I would pay for everything. You wouldn’t have to worry about it. We'll just stay at Mia’s house.

[Asha T:] and I just… pretend to be your girlfriend for a couple of days?

[Asha T:] seems like a fair trade

[Cullen R:] Is that a yes?

[Asha T:] Yes, Cullen, I will be your girlfriend for three and a half days this weekend, provided you keep me well-fed.

[Asha T:] we should come up with our cover story before we go. like how long we’ve been together and stuff.

[Asha T:] just in case

[Asha T:] Mia seems the nosy type

[Cullen R:] She is.

[Cullen R:] I have an appointment that I need to prepare for. Can we meet to talk everything over later? Maybe over dinner?

Asha’s chest tightens, and she takes a deep, calming breath before mentally berating herself for her reaction. This was her suggestion.

[Asha T:] that’s fine

[Asha T:] just let me know when works for you

[Cullen R:] Will do.

[Cullen R is unavailable]

Asha pulls her emails up and stares at the ones sitting unread in her inbox, then at her coffee cup, then at her watch.

It’s only 9:15.

This is going to be a long day.

---

Cullen knocks on her open door just after 5 that evening, leaning on the frame with a casual smile. Asha blinks up at him, rubbing her eyes, dry after a long day at her computer. His hair is starting to fall out of its style, curling more from his fingers running through it during the day, and it makes her smile like it always does.

“Still have time for dinner?” he asks, then pauses to glance over his shoulder as though checking to be sure they’re alone. He probably is; Bull would never let them forget it if he thought they were actually acting on his suggestion.

“Of course!” Asha smiles a little brighter, locking her computer for the night before slipping her shoes back on under the desk. Cullen’s eyes drop down to her bare toes for a moment before he looks back up, meeting her gaze again. “I’m starving. What do you feel like?”

Cullen shrugs a little, taking a step back into the hallway as Asha picks up her purse and slips it over her shoulder. Asha is only a few inches shorter than him in her heels, and the realization makes him arch his brows in surprise as she brushes past.

“Do you like Antivan food?” she asks, glancing over her shoulder to make sure he’s following. “There’s a place a couple of blocks over that Josephine and I go to sometimes? It’s delicious.” They pass Josephine’s office as she’s explaining, and she waves at the other Antivan. Josephine’s full lips part slightly in surprise at seeing Cullen and Asha walking out together, but she waves back without saying anything else.

“I… am not sure,” Cullen finally says, holding the front door open for her while shading his eyes from the sun. She murmurs a thank you and waits for him on the sidewalk, head tilted to the side to indicate that he should continue speaking.

He stops a few paces away, an awkward distance, and clears his throat. He adjusts the strap of his computer bag over his shoulder, then runs his fingers through his hair, half taming the curls and half pushing them out into a more wild mess.

She smiles and barely keeps herself from licking her lips.

“That sounds fine. Did you drive, or--” He looks out at the parking lot, over the few gathered cars, and she shakes her head.

“I usually just take the bus.” She hasn’t needed a car so far, thankfully, Denerim’s public transit working in her favor.

Cullen doesn’t seem phased, fishing through his pants pocket until he finds his keys. Asha eyes the little mabari keychain--the one she got him for secret Satinalia--and grins, though he misses the expression looking over her shoulder at his car. “I can drive us, if that--”

“That’s fine,” she interrupts, gently, not wanting to waste more time in awkward back-and-forth. They’ll need to get this out of their systems before the weekend. They may not be the best of friends, but they’ve never been quite this… stilted before.

The ride to the restaurant is silent save for Asha’s quiet directions. Cullen guides his little car through the city with the same care and attention he gives everything he does, following the traffic laws to a T as far as she can tell.

They beat the dinner rush by just a few minutes, and are already sitting at a table when the front of the restaurant begins to crowd. Asha looks back at Cullen with a tiny smirk, settling as comfortably as she can in the narrow booth.

“So tell me about your family, Cullen.” Asha sips at her water as Cullen considers before fishing his phone from his pocket.

A few taps at the screen and he’s showing her a picture of all of them together, probably from the year before. He’s standing at the back, his arm pointedly not around the blonde standing next to him--probably the date he’d been avoiding--a shirt with Ferelden’s crest on it stretching nicely across his chest.

She rips her eyes away from that to take in the rest of the scene. “Mia’s the oldest,” he explains, pointing at a woman with hair the same honey color of his. “That’s her husband, Thomas, and their three kids: Lori, Ellie, and Thom.”

Thomas has very red hair, almost orange, and the three kids all have hair with varying degrees of red as well. Lori’s is curly like Cullen’s, and she stands sullenly at the edge of the picture with her arms crossed.

“This is Bran and his… ex.” Cullen points at the third man in the photograph, a little shorter and stockier than himself, but otherwise nearly identical, and stammers over what to call the slim elven woman by his side. Asha squints a little, fingers itching to take his phone from him so she can zoom in on the woman, but she can still see the slight bump under her sundress. “They had a son a few months ago, and she just… left. Mia said he’s still really broken up over it.”

Mia said. Cullen didn’t know first hand, so he hasn’t been talking to Branson at all. Asha glances up, hoping to read his expression, but he doesn’t look back at her.

“And then there’s Rosalie?” Asha asks, pushing past the question. Rosalie is standing next to Mia, holding Thom. She looks less like Cullen than the others, though her hair is the same color. It’s long and straight, only curling at the ends, and her smile is contagious. Asha finds herself smiling back before Cullen pulls the phone away from her face to speak with the waitress.

“When was the last time you visited them?” Asha’s gentle question breaks the silence as the waitress disappears with their order, and he hesitates before answering.

“I was home for two days at Satinalia. Before that… it was last Independence Day.”

Asha raises her eyebrows at the admission, but Cullen just studies the table between them, a light blush on his cheeks. He barely goes home even though it’s an easy car ride. If Asha had family and they lived that close, she would visit them all the time. There’s a story here, and she’s curious but afraid to ask.

She just nods instead, fingers playing with the condensation on the sides of her glass. “So we’ll have to say we started dating since Satinalia. Over the last couple of months.”

Cullen nods and finally looks up to meet her gaze. His eyes are tight, the little wrinkles at the corners deepening as his lips start to twist into a frown. “Is this a good idea?”

Asha opens her mouth to respond, then closes it again to consider. It probably isn’t a good idea, not if she’s being honest with herself. Not just because of how Cullen’s family would react if they found out they’re just pretending, but because being around him for three whole days and pretending to date might literally kill her.

There’s temptation there, though. And Asha’s never been good at resisting temptation.

“I don’t think it’s a bad idea.” She bites the inside of her lip to wait for his reaction, but he just chuckles.

“That’s a ringing endorsement if I’ve ever heard one.”

It’s Asha’s turn to laugh, and she does so loudly before abruptly covering her mouth with her hand. Cullen grins back at her.

“I think the closer we can stick to the truth, the easier it will be. You asked me out to dinner, we get along, things are serious enough that I’m okay meeting your family.” Asha shrugs and turns one hand palm-up. That’s all she knows how to say.

“I haven’t met your family yet,” he comments. “Are they in Antiva?”

Asha hesitates before answering. “I don’t really have any family.” Cullen blinks at that, eyebrows drawing together, but he waits for her to explain. After a moment, she does: “I have a brother but I haven’t seen him in a long time. My parents are gone.”

Cullen’s face falls. “Oh… I didn’t know. I’m sorry.” His fingers twitch like he might reach out to her, but he folds them in his lap instead. “I lost my parents ten years ago.”

Asha’s smile is sad. “I’m sorry too. It’s good you still have your siblings, then.”

“I… yes.” Another hesitation, the same hurt he isn’t sharing.

She still doesn’t push. “Have you told Mia yet?” Cullen’s eyes widen even as the rest of his body freezes, and Asha covers a laugh with her hand. “You should… do that.”

Cullen doesn’t move until Asha raises her eyebrows at him, then he’s all fumbling fingers and reddening ears as he digs his phone out of his front pocket. He taps at the screen for a few moments, composing a simple text to Mia: Is it ok if I bring my girlfriend this weekend? She wants to meet everyone.

It’s barely sent before a reply comes back. He hasn’t even had time to put his phone down on the table to wait.

He sighs and then turns the phone around to Asha. Texts are still coming in, one question at a time.

[Mia Gregory:] Your who?

[Mia Gregory:] When did you get a girlfriend?

[Mia Gregory:] OF COURSE YOU CAN BRING HER

[Mia Gregory:] Who is she? What’s her name? Where did you even meet a girl?

[Mia Gregory:] Send me a picture.

Asha is laughing by the time the demand for a picture comes in, but Cullen is still pink. “She wants a picture of me.”

“Maker,” Cullen sighs, rubbing his face with his hand. “You don’t have to do that.”

Her eyes are dancing. “Oh, let’s take one. It’ll be fun.” She scoots out of her side of their booth and moves to sit beside him, pressing close enough that he has to put his arm around her shoulders. She opens up the camera app on his phone and holds it up so she can fit both of their faces in the frame and gives a brilliant smile as she snaps the picture.

She hands him the phone before returning to her seat, ignoring the little grin she gets from a woman at the next booth over. “Send it to me too?”

He blinks again. “Alright…”

He sends the picture, then goes back to answer Mia’s other questions as Asha waits patiently, playing with her straw.

[Cullen Rutherford:] (picture is attached)

[Cullen Rutherford:] Her name is Asha. She works with me at Haven.

[Mia Gregory:] Oh she’s beautiful!

[Mia Gregory:] Are you at dinner right now? Stop texting me while you’re on a date!

[Mia Gregory:] Rude.

[Mia Gregory:] See you Friday :)

Cullen sighs softly and puts his phone face down on the table and finally looks up to meet Asha’s eyes. She’s still smiling at him, her chin resting on her knuckles, her face soft and open. Her cheeks turn red when their eyes meet and she glances over at the waitress finally bringing their food.

They both thank her and she winks before going to check on her other tables. The conversation quiets down as they begin to eat, Asha tucking in with excitement and little contented sighs, Cullen with more hesitation as he tries the new food.

When Asha looks back up at Cullen, he’s still staring at his food, though he’s smiling at it now instead of his initial focused scowl. “So,” she says. “Tell me about yourself.”

He looks up at her and grins a little, and she watches the way his scar pulls the right side up higher. “What do you want to know?”

She forces herself to look away from his lips and shrugs. “Everything.”

---

Cullen waits until Asha disappears into her apartment building before driving away, back to his side of Denerim. He leaves the radio off, letting the silence ground his thoughts as he waits for a red light to turn green.

Mia texts him again, and instead of replying to her next question, he scrolls up to the picture he sent her. He stares into Asha’s green eyes that seem to glow in the restaurant lights. Then his gaze drops to her lips, full and red, smiling back at him.

A horn blares behind him, and he jumps. The light ahead of him switched to green while he was staring down at that picture, and he swears quietly as he drops his phone into the passenger seat so he can drive without its distraction.

This… may be a mistake.

[chapter two]

[dannycaing]

IF DREAMS WOULD COME TRUE

IF DREAMS WOULD COME TRUE by Danny Caing   Date Written:  April 10, 2019

CHAPTER 1  THE WORKING CLASS

Nicolas Weinberger was a multi-trillionaire.  He owns a business chain corporation from construction, buildings, and warehouses,  residential housing, oil, and mining, banking, and finance,  marketing, and real estate,  the military-industrial complex,  airlines,  and shipping industries,  resorts, and hotels, and so on.  He was worth 8 trillion USD.  But he was not satisfied with his life at the age of 32 years when he inherited the fortune from his father.

One day he decided to change his lifestyle to an ordinary working guy next door.   So he rented a house with a garden in the backyard.   He has no television,   telephone, and computer but he has a refrigerator and an oven with a stove. He lives in a town with a population of 832 and works in a local grocery store. He drives on a second-hand bronco car.  No one recognized him without his beard because he looks much younger.

The grocery store opens at 8 AM. While Nicolas was attending the store, a young lady came in to buy three gallons of ice cream and two boxes of assorted cookies.

NICOLAS:  Children's party?

CHARLOTTE:  No!  It's for my big brother, Charlie.

NICOLAS:  That's a lot of ice cream and cookies.

CHARLOTTE:  Yes! He is five times bigger than me.  Are you new around here?

NICOLAS: Just moved in last week.  I think I like this place. It's cool.  By the way,  my name is Nick.  Nick Berg.

CHARLOTTE:  I'm Charlotte.  I teach in Elementary School just a few blocks from here.

NICOLAS:  Oh,  so you are a teacher.  That is awesome.

CHARLOTTE:  Would you like to come and join us tomorrow at school?   There are the stage play and choir performances of the children,  that is if you are free at 7 PM.  It's a simple gathering with parents in this town.  I hope you enjoy meeting them.

NICOLAS:  I will be there. Thank you for the invitation.

CHARLOTTE:  You're welcome.  See you later.

This is it!  Nicolas thought in excitement. There will be no more board meetings to attend,  no first-class dinners,  no midnight phone calls, no unending emails,  no stock markets review,  no more jet lags,  no emergency conferences, and no hectic appointments. It's Nicolas and Charlotte with her students tomorrow night. Nobody cares who he was,   just a grocery man.

The store closed at 5 PM.  On his way to the car, he saw a boy sitting on the bench in front of the store.

NICOLAS:  Hey kid!  Where's your mom and dad?

The kid stared at him blankly with a sad face and fell silent.  Nicolas noticed a tag on his neck with his name and address on it.   His name was Albert.  He was an autistic kid. So, he asked the boy to get into his car and then drove him home safely in front of his house on the address on the tag.  As he pushed the doorbell someone opened the door. The woman immediately embraced his son and told Nicolas that his father had been looking for him. She invited Nicolas inside the house to have some tea then she called her husband that their son is already home.   The couples, Marlon and Jennifer, asked Nicolas to stay for dinner with them.  They have three children,  the two sisters were Cleo and Bobbie, and the boy's name was Albert.

MARLON:  It's not the first time Albert got lost in the school.  Thank you so much for bringing him home.

NICOLAS: Don't mention it.  Everyone will do the same way I did when they saw Albert alone. You have beautiful children.   How are things going?

JENNIFER:  We're good.  Marlon is working on an uptown ranch while I do some part-time job in the church.  The girls are in elementary school.  Do you have family Nick?

NICOLAS:  No.  When my father died, I have to take care of everything he left me.  I have no time for family.  That's why I need this kind of break.

MARLON: We are sorry for your loss.  It's good to have you here with us Nick.   Please don't hesitate to call me if you need some assistance. We are always on your side.

BOBBIE:  Can you come again here on my birthday this Saturday?

Nicolas looked at once to Jennifer and Marlon with a gesture.  Both parents nodded to him with their smile.

NICOLAS:  Well,  sure why not?  Thank you,  Bobbie.  How old are you on your birthday?

CLEO:  She will be ten years old.  

During their discussion at the table,  Jennifer and Marlon were surprised to hear Nick's proposal on a business partnership. He planned to put up farmland that produces products that are in demand on the market. Though Marlon has doubts about what Nicolas has been talking about,  he still supported his ideas.

NICOLAS:  I saw many wastelands around here.  All we have to do is build a dam to irrigate the plantation.  Then we will put up a factory to produce products for export.  Windmills for electricity,  it's a clean environment project.

MARLON:  Count me in as your partner Nick.  Surely, this will uplift the economy in the community.  Where are we going to get financial assistance for the proposed projects?

NICOLAS:  We need collateral to get loans from banks.  Corporate aid funds through Foundation.

When Nicolas and Marlon looked to each other,  they both laugh out loud as if the whole thing was a dream.  Marlon accompanied Nicolas to his car and patted his back and said good night.  Nicolas shakes Marlon's hands before he drove away.

NICOLAS:  I had a wonderful time with your family Marlon.  That was a good dinner.  Thank you.  Good night.  

MARLON:  Good night, too.

While Nicolas was driving his way home,  in his thoughts,  he was serious about his plans.  But for Marlon and Jennifer,  it was just an extraordinary conversation of a man like Nicolas who lived a simple life with great ideas.

The following day after closing the store he went home immediately to prepare himself to attend the Elementary School program that night.  As he parked his car in front of the house,  he saw Charlotte at the doorstep waving and smiling at him.

CHARLOTTE:  Hello Nick!  Good afternoon. I brought some apple pie for you and an invitation card signed by all my students.

NICOLAS:  Good afternoon Charlotte. Well,  it's an honor. Thank you,   Charlotte.  Please come in and let's share the apple pie.  I think I'm hungry.

CHARLOTTE:  You know,  I cooked this pie especially for you.

On the dining table, they were talking about the children's show,  the songs they are to perform and the story of the play.  Then Charlotte offered herself to wash the dishes while Nicolas prepares to dress up for the occasion.  While they were on their way to school,  Charlotte sensed something on him.

CHARLOTTE:  What is it you're thinking?

NICOLAS:  You reminded me of my mom.  We usually eat together when she cooked her favorite apple pie.  She died when I was 12 years old.  I already missed her.

CHARLOTTE:  I'm sorry.

NICOLAS:  It was the best apple pie I ever had tonight.  I am grateful to you.

CHARLOTTE:  Likewise,  Nick.

As they arrived at the school,  the parents were in the theater room waiting for the show to start. Everyone was busy looking for their designated seats.  Charlotte has no time to introduce Nicolas to the parents instead leads him to his seat in front while she went backstage to organize the children for the show. During the children's program,   Nicolas remembered when he was a kid that his dad not even once attended on his stage performances,  it was his mom who is always present on the show. Right after the show,  there was a picture taking on the stage of children and parents and teachers and the guests. Nicolas thought this was an unbelievable experience sharing jokes and laughter with the working-class folks.   There was a buffet and the kids were seated on the long table while their parents were serving meals. Suddenly, four military helicopters were flying over the school area with spotlights and then they moved away.

CHARLOTTE:  It's the first time we've seen helicopters hovering in the school.  Could it be an emergency?   Let's watched the T.V. in the classroom?

MARLON:  Maybe it was just a military drill.

So everybody went inside the classroom to watch on the T.V.  for twenty minutes but there was no emergency broadcast,  it's all the regular shows.  They all decided to end the party and started going home.  It was already 8:32 PM.  Nicolas waited for Charlotte until everyone was gone.  He dropped Charlotte, Charlie and her mother to their house on his way home.  

CHAPTER 2  TWO MONTHS LATER

Nicolas has known all the folks in the community.  He would be attending Parents Council meeting on Wednesday nights,  playing baseball with the elementary kids on Saturdays,  attending a fellowship in the church on Sundays, and in the afternoon with Charlotte's family at home until dinner.  Charlotte taught him how to play the guitar and sing a lot of Beatles songs.  

One day,  Marlon invited Nicolas to go fishing on the lake with his family for a picnic.  Nicolas agreed and suggested to invite Charlotte's family with him.

NICOLAS:  How far is it?

MARLON:  Taking the short cut, it's just about thirty-two miles along the dirt road.  It's beautiful out there on the lake.  There's a waterfall on the upstream east side and hot spring.  We're leaving on Saturday early morning.

One Saturday morning,  there were two vehicles in convoy along the country road.  They went through eight wooden bridges, three road crossings, and two creeks before reaching the lake.  Nicolas was amazed by the view of the lake. He can hear the birds chirping.  They went fishing,  hiking to the waterfalls and swimming in the lake.  Nicolas had a good time that day.

It was almost dark when they were packing the things they saw eight jet fighters in the sky.  Marlon decided to take the hi-way in going home because it's so dark and foggy on the dirt road. One hour later along the hi-way,  there was a barricade in front of them.  Suddenly two helicopters were hovering above them with spotlights.  Then they were surrounded by soldiers with a gas mask and protective camouflage suit.

SPEAKERS:  Stop!  Do not enter!  The area is prohibited.  This is not a drill.

They were escorted by the military vehicles to a nearby base complete with biological-chemical facilities. There was a quarantine room for virus detection and an isolation room for those who were infected. Everyone passed the medical check-up except Nicolas. He was transferred to another secured military medical base for further analysis.  That was the last time they saw Nicolas.  Upon arrival on the Medical Base,   Nicolas met a high ranking General and a Senator.  An adviser to his Corporation told him that they have to condone the perimeter of the town for his security reason.

CHAPTER 3  TWO YEARS LATER

The town has increased its population to 8,320 with new structures and business offices downtown.  There was a new school building,  hospital, banks, hotels, gasoline stations,  restaurants like McDonald,  Kenny Rogers,  Kentucky Fried Chicken, and Starbucks Coffee.  Fifty miles circumference around town were different crop plantations, factories, a dam for irrigation and windmills for electricity.  On the east side of town is the new middle-class subdivision where Charlotte and Marlon's family live. Marlon is the Manager of one of the factories. Charlotte is the Principal of the new Elementary & High School Building.  

On Saturday night,  there was a dinner party hosted by Marlon and Jennifer at Kenny Rogers Restaurant. It was the 12th birthday of their daughter,  Bobbie. Charlotte's family was present including Marlon's close associates,  relatives, and friends.  Marlon suddenly raised his glass for a toast and called the attention of the guest.

MARLON: To the man whose ideas have changed our lives and dreams become a reality.  Wherever you are,  you are always in our hearts.  You are the man,  Nick.

CROWD:  You are the man,  Nick.

The crowd cheered.  There was laughter and chatting with one another.  Marlon was busy shaking hands with all the guests in the restaurant.  Cleo went to Charlotte and whispered to her ear.

CLEO:  I think I just saw Nick at the door.

Background Music: "IF DREAMS WOULD COME TRUE" by Danny Caing https://soundcloud.com/wet-glass-album/if-dreams-would-come-true

All Rights Reserved Wonderful Stories Limited Copyrighted @ 2019

[my-emotional-self]

Let Me Protect You Chapter 2/?

Pairings: Chris Evans x OFC Emilia

Chapter: Two

Word Count: 2,206

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Swearing

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of Self-Harm, Mentions of Domestic Abuse

Summary: After Emilia’s fiancé cheats on her, she moves to California to live with her brother Eric, who just so happens to be good friends with Chris Evans. Follow Emilia and her roller coaster life through heartbreak, love, and emotional trauma. Will Emilia choose to let Chris into her heart, or will she remain broken and alone forever?

Emilia’s P.O.V

Waking up at the ass crack of dawn was by no means your idea of fun.  You were a night owl, the dark always felt soothing to you.  It was harder for people to get a read on you, especially since you wore your emotions on your face easily.

You stretched your muscles and were pleasantly surprised to see they didn’t ache too badly.  You could also feel the tightness in your wrist, knowing the red lines will scab start to scab within a day or two. Giving yourself a small smile, knowing you had accomplished what you needed; to keep your emotions at bay a little.

Getting your duffle bag, you pull on a new pair of underwear, loving the way your boyshorts hugged your ass.  You were always happy that you had curves.  A decent size butt and C cup breasts.  Maybe one day you would work on trying to tone your stomach and thighs, but not now. Right now you had one thing in mind, getting to LA, seeing your brother and starting over.   Finishing up your outfit, you put on a long sleeve dark grey t-shirt, and some dark wash distressed skinny jeans.

After checking out of the hotel, you jump into your jeep and hit the open road once again.  Only 14 more hours to go.

 Chris’ P.O.V

“Hello?” I ask as I answer my phone, not at all happy to see the name on the screen.

“Hey baby! What are you up to”? My ex Minka asks me.

“Minka, I’ve asked you repeatedly to stop calling me that, or any pet name for that matter.  We are no longer together anymore, so stop trying, please” I huff out a sigh.

Ever since I became single again after my last breakup a few months ago, Minka has been trying to wiggle her way back into my heart, and my bed.  We’ve been so on and off over the years, I know I would gain nothing from it if we tried again.  

“I can see you woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.  I was curious as to what you were up to.  I guess I will see you on Friday at Eric’s party then” she spat out then quickly hung up.

I roll my eyes at the thought of having to see her on Friday at the party.  She has always been the jealous type, even though we aren’t together anymore.  Anytime she sees me talking to a girl, she goes ballistic.

Speaking of girls, I know Eric’s sister Emilia will be arriving today.  I couldn’t sleep much last night, Emilia on my mind and what her ex fiancé did to her.  I don’t even know the girl and for some reason I can’t get my mind off of her. What she looks like, what her voice sounds like.  All those thoughts kept running through my mind.  I’m excited to meet her on Friday.  

I always like trying to meet new people who are just normal and out of the spotlight.  It makes me feel like an ordinary person when I’m around them, and that is what I’m looking for now that I have a few months off.  No projects or movies, just a few interviews here and there in LA.

 Emilia’s P.O.V

Pulling into Eric’s driveway, my heart is beating out of my chest.  I haven’t seen my brother in almost a year.  I’ve missed him so damn much.  We were so close growing up; he was my protective big brother.  I’ve always needed someone to protect me.  Not much in a physical way, but more of an emotional and mental way.  That is the kind of person I have always drawn myself to.  The kind of person to help me overcome the strong feelings that always seems to tear me down.  Charlie was like that, even though he cheated on me.  

There was another problem I had, that I know really worried me now that I was in LA; trusting people. I’ve always had a big heart, which in turn has me trusting people so easily.  But like usual, that is my fault.  I’m always to blame and I’ve come to terms with that.

“EMILIA!” I hear my brother yell as I get out of the Jeep. “I’ve fucking missed you little sis”.

“Oh god, it’s so good to see you Eric” I manage to say as we embrace and tears stream down my face.  

His hugs are the best and I can always get lost in the protectiveness of them.  This, this is where I feel safest.

“How was your trip” Eric asks as he helps me grab my bags.

“Long and tiring, but has helped me calm down a bit.  You know how driving always does that to me.  Just give me an open road, blast some music and sing along at the top of my lungs and my problems disappear”.  

“Well I am so relieved you made it here without any problems.  Both dad and I were constantly texting and calling each other freaking out a little bit.  Let’s get inside and I will show you around the house and you can get settled in the guest house.  After that, we will order some pizza, drink some beers, and catch up like old times. I took tomorrow and Friday off work, and Friday I’m throwing a party here so you can meet some of my friends”.

Eric showed me around his house, and fuck, was I ever impressed.  He has been doing well out here and I am so proud of him.  While the house isn’t a mansion or anything, it’s very beautiful.  A modern house with all the updates you could imagine.  It’s a three bedroom, four bathroom house.  Enough bedrooms to have his drunken buddies stay over if needed. However, the best part about the house is the pool outside.  Growing up in the land of 10,000 lakes, I was always swimming.  When I was younger, I always wanted to grow up to be a mermaid.

I start unpacking the few boxes I was able to fit into my jeep.  It was mainly clothes, and a few personal belongings.  All my other things were being shipped by my father and would be here by tomorrow or Friday.

As I unpack, I stall as a thought pops into my head. Wondering if I had the courage to tell Eric about my secret I have been hiding ever since I started dating Charlie.  The pain.  I always welcomed pain in any form to help with my emotions.  Wanting to feel anything other than the nagging guilt, the guilt of being alive.  Or the embarrassment of always doing something wrong.  Charlie would get mad sometimes and you knew it was always your fault.  Maybe you forgot to clean up to kitchen, or forgot to put the laundry away and instead it got wrinkled.  The pain, in your eyes, was welcomed though.  The strength he would use to grip your wrists and arms.  Sometimes a smack across the face.  At least if Charlie hurt you, you wouldn’t have to hurt yourself.  

After debating about it, I decided to let it go and not tell Eric.  He was always my protector, and telling him would not only make him mad, it would make him incredibly sad, and I just couldn’t do that to him. Especially since he is opening up his house to me.  I would just pretend as if it never happened.      

An hour later you were lounging on your brothers’ couch eating pizza and drinking beer.

“So, now that I’m here, are you going to reveal who you are a publicist for?” I ask as I stretch and get more comfy on the couch.  

“Frank Grillo”, he responds with a smile on his face.

“Seriously?  Dead fucking serious, don’t you lie to me Eric. Fucking Crossbones himself’?

I’m honestly a little shocked he never told me before.  He knows how much of a huge fan I am of the Marvel Universe; Captain America specifically.

“Hey, you never once asked before”, he chuckles as he raises his hands in the air. “In all honesty, Frank is such a great guy.  Super down to earth, you would really like him Em”.

“Wait, are you saying I get to meet him sometime?”

“Well yeah, he’s coming to the party on Friday.  Even though I work for him, we are pretty close.  He is one of my closest friends out here”.

I sit and fidget with my beer bottle, peeling at the label.  I wonder if he has met any other cast members from Captain America.  I can’t help but give a genuine small smile thinking he has met Cap himself, Chris Evans.  

“I know that smile Em, what is it you want to ask me?”

“Who all have you met from the Captain America movies?” I question as I raise my eyebrows.

“If you’re talking about Chris Evans, then yes, I have met him before”.

“DUDE! What the fucking hell.  How could you not tell me this before?”  I grab a throw pillow from the couch and throw it in his direction.

Eric throws his hands in front of his face to deflect the pillow I had thrown him.  “Because you never asked, plus, I didn’t want you mad at me knowing I met him while you were stuck back at home”.

My brother has met Chris Evans before.  Damn, what a lucky son of a bitch.  I don’t want to press any further asking if he is friends with him, or if he only met him once or twice.  I would be getting my hopes up, and I don’t want to be disappointed anymore with myself than I already was, so I decide to just drop it.

I found out Eric had yet to see Stranger Things, and after explaining to him the brilliance of the show, we decided to get comfy and watch it.  I got the big couch all to myself, while Eric took the smaller loveseat.  I was dead tired from driving so much today.  I could feel myself slipping in and out, until finally I succumbed to the darkness.

 Chris’ P.O.V

I spent the last hour searching all over for my favorite pair of sunglasses.  Sure, I had a few different pairs, but these were my favorite pair.  My mother had gotten them for me for my birthday last year.  Thinking back to when I last wore them, I realize I left them at Eric’s house.  It was dark when I left, it would make sense that I didn’t think about wearing my sunglasses.

I notice it’s only 10p.m on Wednesday night, I’m sure Eric would still be up.  I pick up my phone and give him a call.

“Hello?” I hear Eric say in a rather quiet tone.

“Hey man, sorry, did I wake you?”

“No I’m still up, but Emilia is sleeping on the couch right now, I just don’t want to wake her.  She had a pretty long day with the drive and everything.”

“Shit, sorry about that. I was wondering if I left my sunglasses over there last night.”

“Yeah, I have them here on the counter.  Why don’t you stop by if you aren’t busy and grab them.”

“Are you sure, I don’t want to trouble you or wake Emilia.  I can always grab them tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry about it. She is passed out, even though she’s a light sleeper, I don’t think a tsunami would wake her up at this point.”

“Alright, I’ll be there in five minutes” I say as I hang up the phone, grab my keys, and head over to his house.

As I get out of my car, I see Eric is already standing on the steps out front.  He must not want me ringing the doorbell and change waking Emilia up.  I don’t blame him, she’s had a long day and deserves some rest.

“Come on in, we can head out in the backyard and have some beers” he says as we start walking towards the kitchen.  

I look to my left and see Emilia fast asleep on the couch, the blanket bunched up at her feet.  I didn’t know what I was expecting when I first saw her, but I wasn’t expecting her to take my breath away.  She was beautiful, in such a natural way.  She had beautifully pale skin, and I could see a few freckles scattered across her cheekbones and her nose.  Her red hair really standing out against her pale face, and her lips pursed out a little.  Although her eyes were closed, I could still see the dark circles she had under her eyes. Poor girl has had it rough the last few days.  

I hear Eric sneak up behind me.  “Be careful Evans, if you wake her up, and she finds you looking at her when she is half out it from sleep; be prepared for some kung fu moves and screaming.”

We walk out to the backyard with a few beers in hand, and talk about the party on Friday, and just enjoy the crisp air of an early autumn night in LA.

 A/N:

I didn’t really like how I ended the chapter.  I’m sorry about that.  But I still hope you all enjoyed it!! Thank you for reading!!

Tag List: @ssweet-empowerment ​ @always-an-evans-addict​  @patzammit​ @evansfanficweekly ​ @tacohead13​

[vlindervin7]

For the anon that said:  <solangelo au request> i hope you accept anonymous requests-- so i was thinking a solangelo au where nico is a stunt performer and will sees him perform and decides he has both respect and anger towards his dangerous tricks? and loove

Here you go! Hope you enjoy it. I’m not really sure about this one.

Ever since he was little, Will’s been a safe person. He’s the one telling everyone to wear seatbelts in the car when he’s driving, despite the fact that he’s the most careful driver any of his friends know. He doesn’t run in swimming pools. He brushes his teeth two times a day, without ever skipping once. He’s careful and he’s safe.

His dad died when Will was seven years old, car crash, texting while driving and if you have a twisted sense of humor you might see the irony in the fact that he was texting his wife to tell her he’d be home soon.

I’ll be home in ten, honey

Only, after ten, twenty, thirty minutes he still wasn’t there. But the thirty-fifth minute brought a phone call. Not from his dad, but the police this time. Will can still remember the look on his mother’s face when she heard what had happened, the one scream she released before being left with crystal tears, silent sobs. He doesn’t think he’ll ever forget.

As a med student, Will knows things like that are no rarity. Will at seven might have though the world had stopped spinning and that the sun was hiding from their sharp grief; it did not stop raining for six days straight. He might have thought that with his and his mom’s tears and the ones falling from the sky the world would overflow, that surely nothing this bad had ever happened, ever. Truth was, while Little Will thought he was alone in his pain, another car was crashing into a tree barely five streets away. Drunk driving, this time.

Will at twenty-one knows that most accidents can be avoided. He knows that at least half of the people in the waiting room at the hospital wouldn’t be there if only they would’ve been more careful. But it’s not his job to tell them that. It’s his job to make sure they’re safe and can go home safe and live a safe life. That’s been his aspiration since his father’s funeral, when he heard some old woman – aunt of his father’s – say that if only he’d been more careful. Things like this happen all the time. You can’t read the newspaper without being informed about yet another death. When will people learn to be more careful?

That’s the moment Will vowed to always be careful, so he never leaves his future children father-less.

He’s stayed to true to this vow. He’s safe and he tells everyone around him to be careful and takes care of the people he loves. His life is fine. He dates sometimes, when he has time between his studies. He has a couple of girlfriends, a couple of boyfriends, but they never stick and he figures he just hasn’t found the right person. And his life is fine, careful and not always too exciting, but fine.

Then he meets Nico. He has hair like charcoal and eyes the color of dark chocolates. He’s probably the most beautiful person Will’s ever seen.

They both find themselves at Percy and Annabeth’s baby shower. Their first child is a daughter named after Sally. She’s adorable, but after half an hour she falls asleep and there’s not much else to do beside talking with the guests. Percy introduces Will to Nico, sets them both on the couch and tells them to eat and drink as much as they want.

The stark difference between them is honestly kind of hilarious. Will’s a med student and tries to smile as much as he can so that maybe someone who’s having a bad day will somehow find a bright spot in his smile. It’s a small thing and probably doesn’t even work, but Will likes it and when people smile back, he feels like he’s accomplished something. Will laughs a lot too, he tries to be positive, most of the time. His father may have died, but he lets that give him the strength he needs to become a doctor and be nice because he knows life can be over in a second. People like him and he likes people.

Nico, however, is wearing all black the first time they meet. He’s shorter than Will and doesn’t look like he smiles a lot at all. He greets Percy and Annabeth with a strained lift of his mouth and it almost looks like it hurt. He doesn’t talk and when eventually Will finds himself next to Nico, he tries to make conversation, but apparently small talks doesn’t come easy to him.

After a while, though, Will decides to go get a drink. It’s snowing outside and he needs the warm-me-up. He offers Nico a drink and surprisingly he accepts. Still sitting, Nico looks up at Will through his eyelashes and the warm brown of his eyes is covered by his dark, long lashes casting shadows across his cheekbones. His lips are incredibly red and are dry of being bitten on. The look he gives Will is not so much closed-off as it is shy and insecure. Will’s stomach does a funny thing. Butterflies?

‘Hot chocolate?’, he answers when Will asks if he wants anything.

‘Really?’ It’s surprising coming from a guy who looks like he’s trying to shield himself from all light by wearing dark colors. (The scientist in Will scoffs that dark colors attract light and warmth, actually. The hopeless romantic inside Will dreamily sighs that that would make the two boys perfect for each other. Normal Will ignores them both because hello? Irrelevant.) He’s kind of scary, if Will is being honest with himself. The sharp looks Nico keeps sending around the room are intimidating, okay? Will has never pretended to be fearless.

Nico raises his eyebrows at Will’s surprised expression. ‘You don’t look like someone who would order hot chocolate’, he explains.

‘Who doesn’t like hot chocolate?’

‘Point. But still.’

Nico is quiet for a couple of seconds, looks Will over and apparently finds what he was looking for because then he asks: ‘What do I look like I would ask for, then?’

Will’s a little taken aback by the question. ‘Well, if I’m being honest I didn’t expect you to want anything at all. But I guess you look like someone that says things like ‘Coffee. Black.’’

‘What, like my soul?’

‘Your words, not mine.’

‘Black coffee is disgusting.’

‘Black coffee is great!’

‘Of course you’d think that.’

‘You don’t even know me.’

‘Well, I guess you look like someone who says things like ‘I like the natural taste of coffee’, which again, fucking disgusting.’

Will can’t help but chuckle at his words being thrown back at him and about the fact that Nico is… actually right. Is Will that easy to read?

His silence is answer enough apparently.

‘Knew it.’ And now Nico is smiling too. It looks good on him. His eyes shine and he has a dimple. Dear God, Will is weak.

So, he gets them both hot chocolate.

‘Couldn’t resist the drink of the gods, after all?’, Nico comments smugly when Will hands him the cup. Will doesn’t dignify that with a response, instead does what every grown adult would do in this situation and sticks out his tongue.

‘Convincing argument,’ Nico mumbles in his cup, taking a sip and chuckling.

The next three hours go by rather quickly. Nico seems like a very secretive person, because he barely tells Will anything of importance about himself except for little things. His side of the conversation consists mostly of dry remarks and jabs at whatever Will is saying, but he manages to make Will laugh harder than he has in a long time. Nico doesn’t laugh as much as Will does, but when he does smile or allows himself a laugh, Will’s heart beats four times harder and his mind turns blank for a second, full of Nico’s laughter and the sheer joy of the sound. There’s this thing he does when he laughs, where he turns his head and brings a hand to his mouth, looks back after a while with sparkling eyes and his dimple more prominent than ever. It’s fucking cute. Though Will doesn’t say that. He has a feeling Nico wouldn’t appreciate being called cute or adorable.

The baby shower ends, Nico and Will two of the last ones left. Eventually Will goes home, barely having seen the baby, but with a phone number in the pocket of his coat and a dumb smile on his face.

*

As said before, Will is a safe person. Until he meets Nico.

Nico is not dangerous, per se. He’s a wonderful person. They go on a couple dates, have a lot of fun and when he sees Nico, Will often has the impression to be higher than anyone else, his mind is foggy from all the laughing and he’s not sure how it feels to smoke weed exactly, but he figures it resembles this.

After their second date, Nico walks Will home because he’s a goddamn gentleman and when they get there they don’t say anything and smile awkwardly like they’re some cheesy, straight Hollywood couple. Then Nico pulls Will down and crashes their lips against each other. The night ends with Will being pushed against a wall and Nico’s mouth taking away every one of his thoughts except for Nico’s lips and scent and wow. Maybe he’s not that much of a gentleman, after all.

No, Nico is a wonderful person, their relationship is amazing and Will is falling in love.

The problem doesn’t lie there. The problem is that Nico is – Nico is a stunt performer and Will cannot for the life of him understand why.

He knows more about Nico now. He knows his mom died, he knows his sister died. His father’s alive, but he might as well not be seen as their relationship consists of awkward Thanksgiving dinners and uncomfortable phone calls when there’s a birthday.

Initially he started stunting to be able to get lost in the sensation and adrenaline of the moment and forget about all that’s happened and the pain in his chest. And after a while, it became a hobby because it turned out he actually liked it. The feeling of flying and calculating the distance and speed needed to do the stunt perfectly.

When Nico tells Will, all the latter can do is sigh and shake his head because again why?

Will can’t control what other people do with their lives and if this makes Nico happy then – all he wants is for Nico to be happy. It’s going to be painful, he knows. But he’ll just have to learn to live with it. So after the explanation to the eternal question of why, Will kisses Nico’s cheek and asks him when his next performance is.

‘I’m supposed to do one in two weeks,’ Nico answers.

‘Do you think I could come watch?’

Nico shrugs. ‘Sure, I don’t see why not. As long you as you don’t freak out.’ Will knows that possibility is very real.

‘I’ll try.’

*

So, here he is. Sitting on a bench, between a mass of other people already with their phones out. His heart is beating fast and his hands are clammy. He thought he was ready for this, but apparently he’s not. At all. Not one bit prepared for this.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Cheers erupt all around him and when he opens his eyes, there’s a motorcycle ready. Will recognizes the way Nico holds himself and he can see a bit of black hair coming out of his helmet.

In front of him there are cars, some fire, some ramps.

On average, there are 5000 motorcycle deaths in the US per year.

How many time does Will have to help people at the hospital who get into crashes on their motorcycle? A lot. And the fire? God, if he keeps this up, he’ll have a panic attack. How does Nico manage to do this all the time. He looks completely at ease on his bike, he’s fixating the obstacles determinately and he looks completely in his element.

He grips the handles a little tighter, Will imagines his knuckles turn white under the leather gloves he’s wearing. He straightens his back and turns his head to the spectators. The glass on the helmet is still pushed up. His eyes find Will’s in the crowd and his lips quirk up into a smirk. Just before lowering his glass to shield his eyes, he sends Will a wink. It does nothing to calm Will down.

Well, maybe it calms him down a little. Something in his stomach is trying to fight its way out, because the swooping almost hurts. That’s how nervous he is. But now there’s something else in his stomach too, something that only comes up when Nico is involved. When he bites his lip, messes up his hair in frustration. When he winks.

The roar of the engine snaps him out of his thoughts and it’s back to the beast, the butterflies all eaten. Everyone around him claps and starts cheering when Nico kicks off and leaves a cloud of dirt behind. Will wants to close his eyes and keep them closed until his boyfriend is done and alive and completely safe, but he can’t. His eyes just refuse to. They’re attached to Nico’s movements and his stunts. He can’t look away. Every time the bike flies up, falls back down, flies through a loop, evades the fire out to burn him alive, Will’s heart follows the movement and only calms down when it’s over And before it has the time to settle, there Nico goes again.

The feelings inside Will are a mixture of fear and love and protectiveness. He wants to stop Nico, to take him home and watch a movie and to not worry. Why couldn’t he have chosen a more normal hobby, like playing an instrument or something? Why did Will have to fall in love with a stunt performer out of all people?

The other feelings mixed with these ones are… respect and awe, admiration. Because it’s clear he knows what he’s doing and enjoys it and well, Will can’t be totally against that. He may be a strong advocate for safety first. But he also wholeheartedly believes in doing what makes you happy and taking the most out of life because he knows how quickly it can be over and so does Nico.

It’s a conflict inside him. Thinking life can be over tomorrow and taking advantage over it. Doing exactly that and doing things that could potentially end your life immediately.

Will doesn’t know which side of him is stronger and he can’t decide right now because Nico does a summersault, lands and the gravel explodes all around him when his wheel comes down hard.

And it’s over.

Will realizes he’s been gripping his seat since the beginning of the performance. He lets go and tries to move the cramps away. Nico jumps off his bike, takes off his helmet and he shakes his head to loosen his hair. It moves around him like black waves and it eventually sticks messily and glorious. He’s smiling as wide as he did after they kissed for the first time and he looks alive.

He’s beautiful and Will has the sudden urge to kiss the life out of him and to then kill him for giving Will fifteen heart attacks and to then kiss him again until he can’t breathe. If he manages to stand up, anyway. It seems his legs have turned into jelly.

Nico jumps and salutes the cheering crowd, then he catches Will’s eyes again and motions for him to meet him behind the bleachers. Well, Will is not going to say no to an energetic, high on adrenaline Nico wanting to meet him behind the bleachers. He feels like he’s meeting the star player on the high school team after they won a match behind the bleachers and everyone knows what that means.

Will carefully maneuvers between the people sitting down, waiting for the next performer to start. He tries to calm his heartbeat, reminds himself that nothing happened at all. Nico is not hurt, he didn’t fall down, he’s not dead. He didn’t want to expressively admit it before, but some part of him was seriously expecting Nico to crash and have his head splashed out in front of him, like a peach falling from a high height. He was aware that Nico does this all the time, that he’s a professional, he knows what he’s doing, it’s fine. But he also knows that it could take one wrong move and – no, stop, it’s over. Nico is alive and well, and waiting for him.

He quickens his steps and there he is. Will didn’t see that earlier, he was sitting too far away, but Nico has a glint, a bright sparkle in his eyes. He smiles when he sees Will arrive and again, Will is struck by the sheer beauty of the man in front of him. The man he gets to call his boyfriend for God’s sake and he almost can’t believe. And said boyfriend may be a stunt performer and find his joy in doing extremely dangerous things that do extremely dangerous things to Will’s heart, but if that’s what makes him look like he’s on top of the world and he could do anything if only he tried, then so be it. He will simply have to learn to live with that.

And the way Nico all but attacks Will mouth before he can even utter a word, certainly isn’t a bad side effect.

Nico takes Will’s face in his hands and pushes him against the back of the bleachers. His mouth is pressed against his and it’s all intense and wet and extremely hot. Nico takes Will’s lower lip between his teeth and behind them the people cheer. For the next performer most likely, but it could’ve been for this one too, Will thinks. It’s all a blur. It’s not like he can form rational thoughts right now, anyway.

Will grips Nico’s hair between his fingers, making it even more messy than Nico managed to do earlier. Nico groans and detaches his lips from Will only to attach them to his neck instead. He leaves a wet trail of kisses all over his neck and lightly bites down on his collarbone.

Yeah, if this is the way every one of his performances ends, he might actually come to enjoy them.

‘Too much adrenaline?’, he manages to let out between gasps. It’s a miracle, really, that he’s able to form words and make his lips say them.

Nico pauses what he’s doing to Will’s neck to look at him. His lips are swollen and red and when he says: ‘I have to let it out somehow. You complaining?’, they wrap around the words so sweetly, Will seriously thinks he’s about to lose it and do – he doesn’t know what, but something – when they’re interrupted by a woman coming behind the bleachers to make a phone call and getting away from the crowd.

She apologizes when she sees them and gets ready to find another place, when she apparently recognizes Nico and decides now is a good time to congratulate him on his performance. She even shakes his hand and all that. Well, now the mood is not only ruined, but entirely gone.

Both boys catch their breath for a while when she finally leaves, just looking at each other, with a considerable amount of space between them.

‘So, you’re still alive?’, Nico eventually says, breaking the silence.

‘I should ask you that, you jumped through fire.’

‘I know,’ Nico answers, crossing his arms and putting a smirk on his face. ‘Again, you still alive?’

Will huffs. ‘Barely.’

‘Should I call an ambulance? Is your heart okay?’ Will wants to wipe away the damned smirk decorating Nico’s face.

‘Well sue me for being worried about you.’

Nico smiles and steps closer to Will. He strokes away a strand of hair out of his face. ‘I like that you are. Did you enjoy yourself a little bit, though? Just a little?’

‘A little,’ Will reluctantly admits. ‘You clearly know what you’re doing and I respect that. And it looks like you really love it. I like seeing you like this.’

‘Like what?’

Will is quiet for a second, forming his thought. ‘You look alive. And you smile more easily. You know I love you’re smile.’

Nico’s expression turns soft at Will’s words. He smiles, a little, private, sweet smile and softly pecks Will on the lips. There’s a light blush on his cheekbones.

‘And I mean, if you kiss me like this after, I don’t see why I should be complaining.’

At this, Nico lifts his eyebrows, promptly wiping away the soft look on his face. ‘Really? Let’s go home, then. Finish where we left off?’

Will lets Nico take his hand and lead the way to the car.

*

Will’s always been a safe person, some might say a little too safe.

But then he meets Nico and he falls in love and it’s probably the least safe things he’s ever done. Because he has no control over his feelings, it’s all unexpected and spontaneous.

Nico’s eyes make him want to do reckless things and his lips convince him to let loose and just get taken by the tide and not stay on the shore all his life. To let the waves carry him. It might not be the most sensible, the most safe thing to do, but it’s the fun thing to do. It’s taking advantage of what’s there and going through life and enjoying the things that come your way and open opportunities to jump and fly and feel alive.

It’s living and not worrying all the time.

Will is still a somewhat safe person, but a little less so with Nico by his side. It’s a good compromise and he goes to bed almost every night with a smile on his face feeling like he used his day the right way and as if yes, this is life. This is love. His life is exciting and he’s happy.

Why do I always have to write beginnings that are too long and endings that are too sappy? *sighs*

Anyway, hope you liked it! Also, to the people that sent me prompts from that list one sentence list thing, I’m so sorry. But the link stopped working so I actually have no idea what the prompt was. If someone finds it, you van always send it to me and I’ll still write them. Sorry!

Send me requests or talk to me, you choose

My other writing

Love, Jasmine

[getalittlecountry]

Shape of You (3)

And so the drama begins. Can’t wait to share more of this story with you. Also Can’t wait for Tuesday when we get to see more of our precious Nessian pairing =)

One Two

Chapter 3

Feyre was waiting on the porch when we pulled into the driveway. After breakfast Cassian had somehow talked me into letting him drive the rest of the way. It felt good to sit and watch the trees, I was taken back to all the years I spent in the passenger seat anticipating our annual trip to the lake house. It was the only time we felt like a real family, when we spent our time together swimming and laughing.

That all stopped when our mother died. We lost a lot when our mother finally gave into her illness. In a way our father had become a stranger, we had lost him too. It was just the three of us, banded together in order to keep some semblance of a family.

Feyre came running down the walk and I smiled as she ran right into me. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me only the way a little sister could. Tight and long, as if she thought she was enough to put me back into the girl she had once known. The girl she didn’t even realize was gone.

I hugged her back, “hey little sis.”

She pulled away to look at me. She touched my cheek, the same gesture my mother used to do so long ago. I couldn’t believe how much she looked like her. Feyre was our mother’s spitting image as well as her twin. She had the same gestures, the same everything. And she had been the youngest, she couldn’t remember much about the woman who never got to raise her.

“Nesta you look good,” she said softly running her thumb along my cheek, “I can’t believe how much I missed you, big sis.”

I laughed, fighting off tears, “yeah well you’ll be tired of me by the end of this weekend I’m sure. Where’s your other half?”

She nodded towards the porch where Rhys stood, “he figured we needed our own moment. But he’s happy you came. We both are.”

“What’s the big announcement?”

“Oh no,” she watched as Cassian came around the car holding all his bag and mine, “that is a conversation I’m saving for dinner. Now introduce me to this mystery boyfriend you’ve been hiding from me for the last few months.”

Cassian gave her that charming smile, not the one crooked one he had been giving me. I watched as he held out his hand and something twisted inside my chest. Like he saved all that charm and sass for me. I shook my head, I was letting myself get carried away again. He was being the boyfriend, he was playing the part.

“You must be Feyre. I’ve heard so much about you,” he glanced at me as she took his hand and then pulled him in and hugged him tightly, “I see Nesta does not get her aversion to hugs from you.”

My sister laughed as she pulled back, “she doesn’t get anything from me or our mother for that matter. Nesta is her own brand of different. I’m so excited to meet you, no one has been able to settle Nesta since Tomas. And well,” she glanced at me and I felt my jaw tense, “I have to say you’re a big step up from the boy next door.”

Cassian’s brown eyes held mine. He noticed how stiff I went at the mention of my former boyfriend. I let out a breath and grabbed my bag, “let’s go inside.”

Rhys met us at the door, “hey trouble,” he greeted me as he took my bag and slung it over his shoulder, “Ferye is really glad you came. She hasn’t been this excited in a while. Not since you left.”

I offered him a small, forced, smile, “I know. I’ve missed her too, Rhys. I’m sorry if I hurt her. If you had to pick up any pieces I left behind.”

He shook his head, “no apology needed, Nesta. You have a life too and well I’ve got Feyre. I’ve always got Feyre.”

Cassian came up behind me and I could feel the warmth from his chest as he looked at my sister’s fiancée. Rhy’s bright blue purple eyes looked at the brute who towered over me, “Rhys this is my boyfriend,” the word stuck in my mouth, “Cassian. Cassian this is my sister’s future husband, Rhysand.”

“Everyone calls me Rhys,” he said as he shook Cassian’s hand. The males were staring at each other as if they were sizing the other up, “we’ve met before, haven’t we?”

Cassian’s hair had fallen out of the strap that had been holding it back. I watched as he looked at the dark haired male that had been in my life for as long as I could remember. It was always Ferye and Rhys, never anyone else. Well there had been Tamlin, but he was another story.

“I don’t think so. Anyways it’s nice to meet you. Is there somewhere I can set all these bags? They’re kind of heavy.”

Cassian grabbed my hand as if he had forgotten the part he was playing. Or he wanted Rhys to stop trying to figure out who he was, why he seemed to think he knew him. Either way it felt good to feel his callouses against my palm. It reminded me that for once my sister wasn’t going to spend the entire weekend asking me the same question she always did.

“Right this way,” Feyre said taking us up the stairs and walking us towards the bedroom at the end of the hallway. The old room I had always picked whenever we came up here. I smiled as she opened the door and then stepped aside so we could get through the doorway.

I stopped short of setting my bag down. I had forgotten that this was the room with the double bed. The smallest bed in the house, it sat in the middle of the very girly, very close room. I let out a slow breath and looked around. It still smelled the same, it took me back to all those nights ago.

I closed my eyes and pushed those memories away again. Cassian squeezed my fingers as he set his bags down and then my sister’s voice pulled me back into this moment. I had to find a way to live through this weekend without the memories taking me. Without the memories weighing me down.

"You two got here last so I um. Hope you don't mind the bed," Feyre blushed as she looked at our hands, "I'm sure you'll be fine thought right?"

Cassian smirked. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. Feyre looked as shocked as I felt at the move, "this is fine. Nesta and I might not live together, but we've had plenty of sleepovers."

I smacked his shoulder, which they both thought was playful. But it wasn't and I saw him wince. I squeezed his arm and my sister smiled. It would’ve been weird if I didn’t hit him for touching me. But even though I did, he didn’t let me go. Again I saw the surprise cross my sister’s face.

She smiled, as if she was witnessing the proud moment of someone finally matching my fire. It was like she actually thought Cassian could be someone I would settle with. Someone who could be my version of her Rhys. And maybe, in another life where there wasn’t pain and ghosts haunting me, I might have believed that he could be too.

But this was my life and that was never going to happen.

"Well then you two get settled. Rhys is making dinner and I think Elain and Mor are outside. I'm so glad you came Nesta," Feyre hugged me again. It was awkward because Cassian wouldn't let me go, "we miss you."

I offered her a small smile as Cassian’s hands went to my hips, "yeah. I miss you guys too. We'll come down to help with dinner after we've gotten everything together."

My sister left and I pulled away from Cassian. I poked his chest, "you know the rules," I pushed harder, my finger imprinting on his skin, "keep the innuendos and your hands to yourself."

His eyes flashed, "we're a couple Nesta. Your sister thinks we sleep together. It has to look real right?"

I sighed, "you're insufferable."

He laughed and for a moment the anger dissolved. Because Cassian's laugh was deep and vibrant. It was beautiful and I never wanted it to stop. His laugh shook his entire body and I leaned towards him. It was the antidote to my pain, it was the sound I wanted to carry with me for the rest of my life. His laughter was bright and full of life.

I wanted to bottle it up and save it for a rainy day.

I pulled away when I realized I was still touching him. His brown eyes met mine and his laughter faded. The humor was replaced with something else. Something I hadn't seen even when we met at the diner.

"I'll break you," he whispered as we stood there, alone in our room. His hands were still on my hips and I shivered because his breath was so close to my neck.

"Oh yeah?" I asked as he pushed me against the wall. I smiled as his lips hovered near mine. Then when he thought he had gotten to me and his eyes fluttered closed, I brought my knee up between his legs. I watched the pain cross his face as my knee connected with his pride.

Cassian let out a grunt, pulling backwards as he all but fell over from my kick. I laughed as his face turned red and he held his hands against his crotch.

"Well sweetheart," his normally deep voice was strained, "I can see why no one has tried to settle you.”

I stepped over him, “I’m going to get a shower.”

I shut the bathroom door, thankfully we had gotten the small room, but the bathroom was connected to it. We didn’t have to share with the others. I let out a breath and looked at myself in the mirror. I wasn’t sure how I was going to get through this weekend without falling apart.

I got a quick shower, the warm water felt wonderful against my skin. After being stuck in a car for over four hours I felt disgusting. I rolled my shoulders and washed my hair, singing along to the radio that was playing. Once I was done I dried myself off and then changed into fresh clothes. It felt good to be out of that car.

I squeezed the water out of my hair, watching in the mirror as the curls came back to life. Then I wrapped the towel around my hair and sat it on top of my head. I dried off my face and then decided I had avoided Cassian for long enough.

Steam billowed out into the bedroom when I opened the door. Cassian looked up and his eyes went wide. Slowly a smile appeared on his face as his eyes went up and then down my body. His eyes were bright with amusement when they landed on mine again. I let out a huff, wondering what in the world he found so interesting about me now.

“What?” I asked throwing my dirty clothes in a pile beside my duffel bag. I’d figure out a system for them later.

He shook his head, “nothing,” he answered, his eyes still bright as he rubbed his hand over his knee as if his manhood was still in pain. Good let him remember exactly how much pain I could inflict upon him and little Cassian. Maybe then he’d stop being such an arrogant ass. I smirked, watching him shift as if he was trying to get more comfortable.

“You should get a shower before all the hot water is used. Plus Feyre and Rhys will not be happy if we are late to dinner. It’s like his favorite thing, having everyone at the table to eat.”

Cassian stood up as I unwrapped my hair. It fell down to my shoulders and I didn’t see him as he reached up and grabbed a strand. I yelped as he pulled it and I spun around, slapping his arm.

“Hey!”
 He had that half smile, the one that was making me soft on his face, “your hair. It’s curly.”

I rolled my eyes, he was like a child seeing Santa for the first time as he kept staring at the wild curls that sat on my head. I couldn’t help but laugh myself, “yes. I straightened it the other day. It’s usually like this.”

He just stood there staring at me like we had never met before. He watched as i took my fingers and scrunched the hair to make the curls bounce. In another time, if I was still the girl I was before, I would’ve found him cute. Watching me in awe as he realized my hair wasn’t straight and that he was seeing my natural state for the first time. But it wasn’t cute, because we weren’t actually together. I clenched my hand in a fist and reminded myself once again that Cassian wasn’t supposed to mean anything to me.

“I like it,” he breathed as I put some products in to tame the frizz that it usually turned into here in the heat, “it’s wild. Like you.”

I blushed, letting out a startled laugh. I wanted to say thank you, I should’ve let it go. But I wasn’t that girl and I was hard and this was getting to be too much. I brought my eyes up in the mirror and looked at Cassian.

“Okay, you’re laying it on a little thick, I told you only put on a show when others are around. It’s just you and me, you don’t have to act like we’re actually a couple right now.”

Cassian dropped my hair and stepped back, his face falling. I knew I had hit a mark, I thought I had been intending to hurt him. I wanted to keep reminding him until he knew that this wasn’t real. But watching the amusement die from his beautiful brown eyes, his face falling from that mischievous smile to the look he was giving me now, it hurt. And I hated knowing I was the reason it had happened.

“Well I thought we were at least friends,” his deep voice was soft. He sounded like he was trying to keep the hurt out of his voice.

I shrugged, “right now you’re just my employee. Remember I’m paying you to be here.”

He nodded, his shoulders tight, his hands balled up in fists beside him, “got it. Thanks for the oh so gentle reminder, Nesta. I’m just something to look good on your arm.”

He went into the bathroom before I could even consider feeling guilty. I looked at my reflection and I realized how awful I was. Maybe this was the reason I was single. Because I was cold and had closed myself off after Tomas forced me into the middle of a game I didn’t want to play.

I should’ve apologized, but I knew that if I could at least find a way to apologize to my sisters first, then maybe I could find the girl who was worthy of even looking at someone like Cassian. Maybe I could find the girl I had been once before, after I told Feyre and Elain the truth.

I finished getting ready as Cassian sang loudly in the shower. I pulled my shoes on as the water shut off and I sat down on the bed. I let out a slow breath, thinking of ways I could apologize to Cassian. It was true we weren’t actually friends. But that didn’t mean I could treat him like nothing more than scum on the bottom of my shoe.

When Cassian came out I looked up, his hair was dripping on his shoulders and his chest was bare. I couldn’t help but stare for a moment, until he grabbed a shirt and put it on. Of course he looked good, he owned a gym and trained people in kick boxing. He was made of muscle, and for a moment the room lost all air.

“Like what you see, sweetheart?”

I blushed, “no. Look I’m sorry Cassian,” I stood up and forced myself to look into his eyes, “I mean, we aren’t friends. At least not yet. But I shouldn’t have been so rude. Sometimes I speak before I realize what I’m saying and it comes out as cold and callous. I’m sorry, okay?”

He threw his dirty clothes down and looked at me. His lips twitched as if he was fighting a smile. He sighed, “you don’t strike me as someone who apologizes a lot. Should I be flattered?”

I rolled my eyes, “sure, but I think you’re better at flattering yourself, sweetheart.”

He laughed, a short sound that still made my heart flutter, “it’s fine Nesta. I understand that we really don’t know each other. I’m helping you and in a way you’re helping me. But if I play the part when no one is around, then I’ll play it even better when they are okay?”

I swallowed the lump in my throat as he stepped towards me, “I guess that makes sense. Just. I don’t know, don’t be so corny. Seriously I would never date someone as full of themselves as you.”

He laughed again, “oh Nesta. You’d be surprised how many girls have fallen for my charm.”

“And yet here I stand. Still not falling for any of it.”

He smiled as he took another step towards me. I didn’t realize he was so close until his fingers brushed under my chin and he forced my eyes up to meet his. That crooked smile was back, I was starting to think he saved it for me. Which was crazy, because we had just established that we didn’t know each other.

“I see you Nesta Acheron. I don’t think anyone else does, but I do.”

My mouth went dry and his eyes bore into mine. It was like he was staring straight into my soul, like he was seeing every single piece of me that I never wanted to show anyone. I shivered, his eyes landing on my lips for a spilt second before his hand dropped back down to his side.

The room was filled with tension, or something I couldn’t quiet understand. I turned away from him and looked out the window. I forced myself to forget the feeling of his skin against mine, or the way he had looked at me.

“I’ll find some more blankets for you after dinner.”

Cassian nodded but didn’t smile this time. The light was gone from his eyes, from his face. I didn’t like knowing that he was still wounded from what I had said. Which was something I had never felt before. I had never been remorseful whenever I hurt someone. Usually it felt good to make them feel the way I always did. But this was new, and I wanted it to stop. This man, this brute of a man was trying to turn me into someone I wasn’t sure I was ready to be.

“So,” I asked killing time before we had to go down to the firing squad. I mostly wasn’t ready to see Elain yet, “why don’t you have a girlfriend? I mean. You clearly see why I don’t.”

He shrugged, as if it didn’t matter, “I love the gym too much. I spend all my time there and it never sits well with whoever I’m seeing. Some people seem to think I’m too soft,” his eyes met mine, “but I mean. If and when I find the right girl, it’ll just stick. It’ll just work.”

I offered him a small smile, a real smile, “I like that. And trust me Cassian, there’s nothing wrong with being soft. Sometimes the hard edges, they keep me safe, but what they forget to tell you is that they keep anyone from getting in too.”

A small smile tugged at his lips, “who knows. Maybe I’ll rub off on you this weekend.”

“Don’t hold your breath.”

We smiled at each other, coming to some sort of awkward agreement. The room fell quiet until my sister opened the door. Feyre smiled as she watched Cassian tap my chin. It was a cute moment for her to find us in, one that would be normal between any other couple.

And yet my cheeks burned as she cleared her throat, “yay, you guys are dressed. Dinner is ready! Let’s go.”

Cassian walked behind me as we followed Feyre out into the hallway. I could smell dinner from here and my stomach grumbled, I was starving. We had eaten breakfast so long ago now. I felt Cassian’s warmth behind me as Feyre went down first. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and then turned to look up at me.

"Oh Nesta guess who I invited for dinner!" Feyre sounded extra cheerful, as if I had a friend I had forgotten about.

I stopped on the steps, staring down at my sister, ready to ask who, but when the door opened the air rushed out of my lungs. My heart stopped and time seemed to freeze in that moment. Cassian's eyes stayed on me as I tried to stop the bile that rose in my throat.

My entire body was in panic mode. Because standing there at the bottom of the stairs was the last person I had ever wanted to see, wearing the same sick smile he had branded me with that night almost two years ago.

Cassian reached for my hand as Tomas tipped his head, "welcome home, Nesta.”

[sudsybear]

I just got here

That toolbox was the best gift I ever received (well, Bart did give me a 2-speed reversible cordless drill for Christmas a couple of years later. That was pretty cool, too. But it wasn’t completely original.) That toolbox was the key for me to meet people when I was away at school. Hammer, pliers, wrenches, jewelers’ screwdrivers, with Ross’ inspiration, he and Dad prepared me well. There are times in the dorm when you need a hammer, or pliers, or an adjustable wrench. Thanks to Ross, I had them. I used his gift idea several times over the years. On my urging, my brother-in-law took one with him when he left for college. I gave one to my babysitter when she graduated high school. I even gave one to my sister-in-law as a wedding gift. That one was fun – I labeled everything – what a screwdriver is really used for, and creative ideas for bedroom bungee cord use.

 I’d like to say that’s what helped get me together with who would eventually be my husband. But in fact, Bart and I met because he needed a button sewn back on. (Well, he tells the button story. I maintain that the first time we met, we had a squirt gun fight that ended badly. He and his buddies gave up on the squirt guns and brought out the trash cans full of water. I was on the wrong end of gravity. I never knew how I met David or Ross, either.)  My mother was old-fashioned enough to send me off to school with a sewing kit. With sewing kit and toolbox, I was the woman to see if you needed to repair something. Had I been more entrepreneurial, I could have rented out the tools for $5/hour or some such. I could have sold quarters to make money. My roommate thought it quite amazing that I purchased quarters ($10 rolls) at the bank for the washing machines.

 I left for the UofR the 27th of August, a Tuesday. We packed up the Volvo on Monday, and early Tuesday morning Mom and Dad and I drove up I-71, across the Thruway, and delivered me to the dorm. We unpacked the car that afternoon. Dad helped carry my things up to the room, but wouldn’t stay to watch me unpack. “We’ll go back to the motel,” he said. I choked back tears and started unpacking. I was terrified and already homesick. I wanted Ross, I wanted my own bedroom – other than camp, which was some five years previous, I never shared a room with anyone who wasn’t family. I wanted everything familiar. Mom and Dad stopped by later and we got dinner together. They dropped me back off at the dorm, and stayed overnight in a motel. Once I was back in my room for the night, I called Ross from the dial phone in the hall, to let him know I was in and gave him my new phone number. I missed him already.

 Mom and Dad stopped by in the morning to say goodbye. They had to make the ten-hour drive back to Cincinnati. Mommer was still in the hospital, and they had plane tickets for a trip to see my brother Tom out in Oregon. I stood on the steps of the Student Union and watched my parents turn and walk back toward their car. It was a beautiful hot August day. The sun was bright in the sky, warmth radiated off the brick of the building, and the slight breeze was delightful relief. The sky was blindingly blue with white puffy clouds drifting over the tops of the campus buildings. I wanted to scream, “NO! DON’T GO! I’M NOT READY! TAKE ME HOME!” Instead I blinked back the tears, bit my lower lip, inhaled a deep breath through my nose, and, determined not to cry, turned and jerked open the glass door to the building and stepped inside. I needed to stand in line. I paused for a moment while my eyes adjusted from the bright outside to the dark interior. I discovered it was a short line, as the majority of the student body had not yet arrived. It was still freshman orientation week. I stood to have my photo taken and got my student ID which let me into my dorm, and got me my meals, and let me pay for junk food at the student run candy counter. Just like high school, but a ten-hour drive or a six-hour airplane adventure away from home and I didn’t know a soul.

 Over the next fifteen (twenty?) years, I revisited that moment again and again. I wondered, what if I had screamed, “NO!” and gone back home with Mom and Dad? What if I hadn’t stayed? What if I hadn’t been so damned determined to be brave? Would Ross and I have gotten married? Would we have lasted beyond Thanksgiving that year? Would we have had children? Would I have attended Ross’ funeral, and stood at his gravesite with his family and friends, many of whom I never had the opportunity to know?

 Instead, I live with the decisions I made, and the actions I took. I made new friends and I had fun. I lost my temper. I had my heart broken. I cried tears of loneliness, tears of grief, tears of fear. I got drunk. I made love. I broke more hearts. I learned to be alone. I made a life. I lost my balance more than once.

 *          *          *

 Our dorm was a ten story high rise, four six-person suites and two sets of double rooms per floor. I was on the sixth floor, “special interest” housing. The Inter-Class Living Center was decidedly not a freshman single-sex ghetto as so many of my friends from home were getting into. Instead, I lived on a co-ed floor, two male suites, two female suites, one set of male doubles, one set of female doubles. Thirty-two of us, sixteen freshmen, the rest were upperclassmen – sophomores to Seniors. It really was a great arrangement. Since the floor was co-ed and housed more experienced students, it never got too trashed, or rather when it did get trashed, people tended to clean up sooner than if it had been a true freshman ghetto. Also, because it was special-interest housing, we were required to have meetings once/month to plan and execute activities for our dorm and ourselves. That meant the floor residents really got to know each other pretty well.

 Roz and I roomed together during orientation. She and I hit it off, and decided to stick together for the year. We sought out Mike, the floor president, to confirm we weren’t committing some terrible crime against housing. He laughed at our concern, and gave his blessing. We switched our room assignments (swapped the name tags on the doors) and unpacked our gear. So much for all that worry over the summer about who my roommate would be. Vivyan (with the thick accent whose apartment was in the flight pattern of Kennedy airport) and Cindy attended earlier summer orientations and were in for a surprise when they arrived over the weekend.

 In our end-double with bunk beds, Roz liked the novelty of the top bunk. I really didn’t care. As a child I’d had my brothers’ old bunk beds and switched beds every few months. Sometimes the top bed, sometimes the lower bunk, sometimes I pulled them apart and used them as twins. After that decision, there we were, a short-haired mousy WASP brunette from the conservative Midwest, who billed herself as “the ultimate girl next door” in her housing application, sharing a room with a seemingly worldly Jewish blue-eyed blonde from Yonkers. I was suburban public high school, with Friday night football games and cheerleaders. She was East Coast private prep school with swim teams and water polo. What was I getting myself into?

 Orientation was Wednesday-Friday, and classes wouldn’t start until the following Wednesday, September 4th. I had orientation events to contend with…How to choose and register for classes, tours of campus, how to navigate the shuttle bus system, awkward getting-to-know-you social occasions. I already got my student ID, but still needed to rent a post office box, and I couldn’t miss a chaperoned bus tour of the local shopping district.

 One orientation activity was to take a busload of new students to the local “hip” shopping district, and send us on a scavenger hunt of sorts. They gave prizes for the best, or most unique, item purchased for under $5. The prize was $15 cash. I purchased a bunch of random things – a couple of bagels from a bagel shop, a few office supplies (pencils and the like) and once back at the dorms, decided to build, “The Bagel Bike.” I started in on the project, other folks wandered in to kibitz, and ultimately, that bagel bike won us money for pizza. I was “in”.

 Orientation was over and it was Labor Day weekend. My friends at home were heading downtown to River Fest for the holiday. I’d gone with them in years previous, and while the crowds terrified me, I enjoyed the camaraderie. I would miss it this year.

 Roz was inspired to personalize our room, and hoped to paint footprints on our dorm room walls. I said, “Sure, why not?” We found someone from the suite next door to take us out to the home improvement center to buy spray paint. Then back at the dorm, Roz traced her foot, we made a pattern, and together we got high on spray paint fumes while we painted primary color footprints on the walls and ceiling. Hadn’t I just done this? We even put a hopscotch board on the ceiling with black electrical tape, and glued a penny in the 8 square.

 Ross called in the middle of our painting session and I had to cut him short. “Roz and I are working on a project, can I call you later?” Oh that felt awkward. I missed him terribly, but caught up in the moment, I didn’t have time for him. This was going to be harder than we thought.

 “Yea, I guess. Glad you’re having fun.”

 A cheap plastic rolling Roman shade covered our windows. Dusty and gross it didn’t block out the morning sun nearly well enough (we were both late sleepers), and we wanted to cover it. But we still wanted the footprint pattern so as to have continuity. It was a problem to be solved.

 The suite adjacent to ours was called 6124’s. That was either the phone extension, or the official number of the suite in case of emergency, or both. It housed Mike, Rentz (aka Stephen Paul), J.G., Chris, Ken and Tony. Their common room was the “family room” of the floor. They had the bar, built in some year prior to my arrival, the television, and the open all night policy. It was the gathering place.

 Stephen Paul, a junior optics major, was one of the fortunate few to have a car on campus. He drove a Land Yacht – an early ‘80s Mercury Marquis four-door, fully loaded. An only child from Watervliet, NY, (outside of Albany) his parents lived on Easy Street. Really. They petitioned to get the street name changed, and won, so their official postal address was 1 Easy Street. On Tuesday afternoon before classes started, he drove a group of us to the local mall to get out of the dorm, shop and stock up on supplies. While in the mall, I considered the footprints on our dorm room walls and asked, “Does anybody know where I can get felt?”

 That started it. Stephen Paul, Chris, and Roz paused, stared at me, and laughed uproariously, guffawed even. I was clueless – I’m looking for the crafts store, what’s so funny? Sigh. The first of many quotes Stephen Paul kept in his private journal. I wonder if Ross might have laughed? I doubt it, he was accustomed to my blind blunders. He might have teased me a little – maybe jesting an intimate reply, “I know exactly where you can get felt.” I might have understood my gaffe and chewed ‘tardidly. But the guffaws threw me. I blushed and absent-mindedly chewed my tongue when someone finally stopped laughing enough to point out my unintentional double entendre.

 We got back from our shopping trip (stacks of colored felt procured without further incident) and I had a message to call home. I called, and Mom informed me that Mommer passed away the day before, on Monday, the Labor Day holiday. Mom and Dad had flown out to Oregon, said hello to Tom, got the call from the hospital, boarded a plane and flew back home.

 Ross had been with me when I last saw Mommer in the hospital. Now I was alone. Away from family, familiar friends, and no way to get home for the funeral service. I sat on the floor of the phone alcove and wished so much for Ross’ comforting presence. I called him at home and shared the sad news. He had been so patient with me and seemed to genuinely not mind going to visit her. In Rochester, I had no opportunity to grieve, classes were starting and my world started to spin.

 *          *          *

 Classes started Wednesday morning. I stopped at the post office in the afternoon, and found my first mail. It was from Ross.

  Postmarked SEP 3’85

Cincinnati, OH

 Sept. 1, 1985

 Deer Soozin,

 This is a tardid letter becuz this is a tardid terminal that I g0t al0ng time ag0 at W00ster that is from ab0ut 1969 and it sucks.

 Encl0sed is X

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 Encl0sed is the c0mplete st0ry on w0mbats.

Als0 s0me cart00ns….

And I th0ughT that y0u might want y0ur asprin case…..and s0me tapes!

M0MX says hell0. S0 d0es SK0T

I cann0t believe h0w much n0ise this thing makes.

 Enough teletypewriter tardidness….

 I felt strange going out with Steve last night because I sort of wanted to go dancing, but then again Steve is not exactly the person to go “cruising” with. Also, I’m not really ready yet. I would much prefer (obviously) to be doing something with you. And I don’t quite know how you feel about me seeing other people, etc…  I know what you’ve said, sort of. I wish you would give me some guidance here. I mean I would like to go out + stuff, but I’m really not sure what you’re thinking on the subject is…. Is this confusing to you? Do you care what I think about your going out?

 Whatever

 I am not good at writing interesting letters like yours, sorry.

 Watching Greg, Victor, Christopher, Adrian, Groteke, and Mojdehi get high the other night was not exactly an ideal way to spend Friday night. I need a FRIEND. Hard to find sometimes.

 Don’t call yourself a bitch. Everybody does stuff like that. I know you are a very sensitive caring person and that I do the same kind of stuff to you. I also know you had one hell of a lot on your mind about going to school, etc. So please don’t call yourself a bitch because you may convince me one day.

 2

 I miss you a lot, but right now I can’t even remember what you’re like! Do you know what I mean? Our telephone conversation today did not sound like Susan Savage to me.

 Query:  Is there anyone you’ve found worth being romantically interested in? I would like to know as soon as (if) there is, even if it may not lead to anything, because it is much easier to deal with if I know something is starting, rather than, “There’s this guy I really like a lot…and we’ve been spending a lot of time together…” type deals.

 Does this sound really possessive? I’m sorry. I can’t write “Light” letters. These are the things on my mind.

 I need a companion.

 You know, I really have no idea what you’ve been doing at school? Sort of a departure from this summer when we-both-knew-what-the-other-was-doing-at-every-waking-minute type attitude was more easily accomplished.

 I am very anxious to:

 start school

make friends

Get the PINTO fixed

Come see you. Here are the flight times:

 Cin – Roch. (Friday)                           Roch – Cin (Sunday)

3:15    6:40                                          7:00 p.m. ?

   3

 I’ll probably just stay until Sunday – but we’ll see.

 Very Sorry to hear about your grandma. I’ll go over tonight to see if there’s anything I can do for your parents.

Your pill Asprin case is enclosed. Sorry, we don’t have enough Asprin to fill it up!

 Well, I’m going to finish this letter so I can send it.

 I love you and I’ll talk to you soon!

 Love,

 Ross

  Did I have anyone in particular that I was interested in? No. Were there several guys who were interested in me? Probably – but I was at school for all of what, a week? Ross knew I didn’t have to work hard to get attention. The male: female ratio was something like 2:1. Do the math!

  I left my aspirin case? Hmmmph. I developed a habit with David and kept it ever since. I leave things behind when we part, my wallet usually, sometimes a sweatshirt or my shoes. When being dropped off at home, I said goodnight, got out of the car and climbed the stairs into the house without a second thought. The next day or several days later, or whenever I needed it, I called David, or he called me, or he stopped by to deliver my forgotten item, or I stopped by his house to retrieve the item. It got to be a joke after a while. I kissed David goodnight, and he said, “Got your wallet?” And I’d dig under the front passenger seat or get it out of the glove compartment. I’m sure a psychiatrist has an explanation for that behavior – fear of abandonment or not wanting to let go, or needing to return to the person. It couldn’t be as simple as forgetfulness. Just like David and Mark, I can’t tell you how many times Ross drove by the house to drop off my wallet, or sweater, or whatever that I had left in the car. I needed to leave something with Ross. I couldn’t leave my wallet, so I left a small plastic aspirin case that held twelve white pills. I wonder what else I left with him?

  Long before Ross and I spent our wonderful summer together, I chose the University of Rochester not for the academics (as my GPA can attest) but for the male:female ratio, presence of a Greek sorority / fraternity system (of which I was never a part – those of us on the floor took a perverse pride in razzing anyone who might choose to pledge a Greek house), presence of ROTC, a ten-hour drive from home, and finally, when I visited campus the previous fall, I noted that the women on campus all seemed to need to lose ten pounds or more. Not the best reasons to choose a college, eh? But I was having fun making bagel bikes, painting footprints, getting in squirt gun fights and getting felt. With peers surrounding me twenty-four hours a day, I was a social butterfly.

  *          *          *

  I brought more than a few childhood mementos with me to school. Of course I brought a photo of Ross, a Polaroid of him being Dum. Some favorite Bloom County comic strips, a drawing of Milo and Opus that Mark made, and a funny postcard from my brother Jack of an obese woman peeing on the beach. I kept photos of friends – Valli, Julie and Erin and David (a rare one of David without his beard) and arranged it all on the corkboard at the back of the desk. On the desktop I put my mini-stereo with tiny removable speakers (the tape player recorded, supposedly to record lectures and listen to them again) new technology at the time. Having no stereo, much less a turntable, I brought no records, only a few tapes I had been brave enough to purchase; Pink Floyd, Simon & Garfunkle’s Greatest Hits, James Taylor, and The Who, Face Dances. Ross recorded a couple of Joe Jackson and some Go-Go’s, and would soon send me a few others.

  On the shelf above the desk, I arranged the select few stuffed animals I brought, a favorite teddy bear, a stuffed dog my grandfather gave me, and the Opuses that were gifts from Ross and his Mom. Included in my mini-menagerie was a treasured stuffed beaver puppet my parents bought for me at the Appalachian Festival when I was a little girl, maybe I was ten or even as old as twelve. It was handmade and expensive at the time, so a special treat. My goal at the time was to collect a Noah’s ark full of stuffed animals, one of every species (dog, cat, bear, camel, hedgehog, fish, beaver, llama, etc). My father finally agreed to buy the puppet on the premise that MIT has the beaver on their school crest. “Nature’s Engineer” is what Dad (an MIT alumnus) told me.

  In the lounge of 6124’s, a half-dozen floor-mates, mostly male, huddled together watching television, conversing around the noise of whatever was broadcast. No one remembers the exact topic now, but relevant to the conversation at hand, and at an appropriate time, I said, “Oh, I have a beaver!” and promptly trotted off to my room to retrieve this puppet. Well, you can just imagine…six guys first started laughing that I said out loud, “I have a beaver.” They were further inspired when I actually produced “Nature’s Engineer.” They did unspeakably rude things to/with my treasured puppet and it really got waaaay out of hand. Just imagine five males between the ages of 18 and 22, and what they can do with a beaver puppet and a broken off hockey stick they called a “Fuck Stick.” I got frustrated that no one noticed how hurt I was, and went back to my room upset. In retrospect, they still believe the incident was very funny. But at the time, I really hadn’t wanted unspeakably rude things done to my treasured transitional object. They did eventually apologize, and I begrudgingly accepted their humility.

  I still have that puppet. For a long time I kept it in a basket with other childhood plush toys in my son’s room. One day when he was about three, he pawed through the basket and for whatever reason grew afraid of it (he’s a smart kid!), so today it sits in a basket in our bedroom. That beaver will never be a child's toy again!

  *          *          *

  I always listened to the music of the men of my life. In the late 70s and early 80s I visited my eldest brother Jack at college. His roommates played the Knack and Devo. Impressionable as I was, I thought those bands were cool. David and Christopher listened to Pink Floyd. In the evenings we lay on the floor of Christopher’s room above the garage and put on album after album. Dark side of the moon, Wish you were here, The Wall. In a more jovial daylight mood, they quizzed me, making a game to see how quickly I could recognize the album and track. The Who and Queen were staples in my high school. Heck, they were probably staples in most high schools for that time frame, the early 1980s.

  But driving around the city late at night, David tuned the radio to the local college station that picked up an NPR jazz show. I dozed as he drove through the night, comfortable in the passenger seat, enjoying the soothing strains that emanated from the speakers on the dash. I didn’t mind that he drove just to feel the speed and force as he took curvy roads too fast through the hills around Cincinnati. Finally, he returned me home, turned off the radio, we kissed and he shooed me inside. I forgot my wallet under the seat or in the glove box and called him later to retrieve it.

  Then later, when I drove the Pinto with Mark riding shotgun, I had two tapes for the cassette deck, Face Dances and Wish you were here. David and Christopher had given me a gift. I actually enjoyed a little Floyd, and Mark was impressed with my selection. Although Mark was angrier and listened to noisier punk bands, he reminded me that The Pretenders were a particular favorite of his and Scott’s. I’d forgotten. No wonder I enjoyed Bart’s music collection when we met.

  But Ross had the biggest selection by far. I became accustomed to asking, “Can you play the one that goes dum-dum-dum da-da-da?” and he pulled it out and put it on the player. My own personal DJ. When we were pen-pals, long before we ever started dating, his letters were full of musical references of the day; U2, Squeeze, Psychedelic Furs, Rush, Kinks. Then later, after we were inseparable, I discovered his true passions, Joe Jackson, Pat Metheny, Chaka Khan, Phil Collins and Genesis, and a private admiration for Neil Diamond. I was sworn to secrecy for that last one. What twenty-year old male in 1985 was willing to go public with his admiration of Neil Diamond??

  That’s probably why I gravitated to Mike’s room with Stephen Paul and Chris. Like Ross, Mike was an album accumulator and the conversation that afternoon was music. Mike was enthralled with the latest band he discovered that summer, Marillion, and we were being educated. The topic eventually turned to Genesis, Pink Floyd and the Who. Well, thank you David and Ross. I knew these bands. I knew the albums, I knew the lyrics, I knew the esoteric information of which only male adolescents are otherwise aware. Thanks to my buddies in high school, I was able to not only participate in that conversation, but “enlighten” those around me. It made an impression on them I guess…Chris remembers it all these years later. (Correction – he remembers not the actual conversation about music, but rather a conversation he and Mike and Stephen Paul had later in the dining hall. He reports that all were impressed with how I had held my own in their conversation.)

  What I find funny, is that while I was competent in several genres, including espousing the virtues of Joe Jackson and Pat Metheny. I was completely ignorant of Bruce Springsteen or Elton John. Evidently there is a distinction between Who fans and Springsteen fans. The two definitely did not mix. Not often anyway, and certainly not in collegiate male album collections in the mid-80s. I know the stereo wars later on got very loud. “Born in the USA” versus “Won’t get fooled again” or “Born to Run” versus “Substitute” or “My Generation”. It got vicious. One of the guys in the triple upstairs was a fan of Olivia Newton-John and cranked her “Physical” album over and over very loudly. The musical mix could be disconcerting at times.

  As I look back at it, that whole musical mix, I recognize that I married yet another album accumulator who still plays DJ on occasion. I also realize that it’s long past time for me to claim more music for my own. I always borrowed the sounds of others. I need to pick and choose and play my own music. But try as I might, I still cling to the music of others. I bought some John Denver, reminiscent of my father’s favorites. He taught himself to play Denver’s hits on the guitar when I was young and he was in his 30s. The music is soothing, a comfort from my childhood. Likewise are the story songs of Jim Croce and Harry Chapin, both men wooing audiences with their sad stories accompanied by guitar. Coincidentally, (or not) all three performers died untimely accidental deaths at the prime of their careers.

  *          *          *

  As soon as the students moved in and all the parents were gone, a construction crew closed off the driveway along the dorms. They would build a new parking lot – reconfigure the drive, add more parking spaces. The contractors arrived early, 7 or 8 in the morning. Sometimes their noise woke me up, so I dragged myself out of bed and watched from our window. The machinery was fascinating and I found it peaceful and relaxing to watch them work. First they tore up the old roadway, shovels cracking the asphalt and filling dump trucks with load after load. Other machines pulled out the curbstones and stacked them for re-use. I was amazed to learn that in Rochester and Western New York, curbs are made of granite. I don’t know where it was quarried, but new curbs were delivered in 4-6 foot lengths and backhoes excavated about six feet down in order to place the slabs. Where I grew up, curbs are built up out of wooden forms, and poured concrete or asphalt. I’m not at home anymore, am I?=ce���