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bless-my-demons · 1 year

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Redamancy: Chapter Eighteen

Series Summary: What happens when your soulmate is a vampire that struggles to maintain a diet of trying not to kill you? Common sense says run for the hills, nothing is worth your life - but my heart is whispering why not, what’s there to lose?

Warnings: Cuss words and angst, my bread and butter rn

Notes: I’m so sorry this is late tonight! I’m still reeling from Tuesday night’s Sleep Token concert… it was honestly life changing. I’ve been working on this chapter all day so I hope you like! I promise I’m trying to get through New Moon without dragging it out longer than necessary, I just need to set up certain things for… things👀

Word Count: 2383

Series Masterlist

• January 17th, 2006 • Home •

Reader

Long, cold fingers trail across my cheekbones - featherlight and almost reverent in their exploration. Cool lips brush my hairline and I can feel the smile against my skin. A grin tilts the corner of my mouth and I roll over to push my face into the hard chest at my side to just get a few more moments of sleep.

But my face didn't meet his chest, I rolled right onto a cool pillow.

I flip back over and blink at the ceiling of my bedroom. The fan begins to swim as the familiar tickle of tears threatens to bubble over the corners of my eyes, it was a dream.

Sleep used to be the reprieve from these feelings, but he’s bleeding into my subconscious too. Fuck, is this just life from now on? Not only just pining after someone by day, but dreaming of him by night too?

“How was your night out, sweetheart?” My mom calls as she hears me descend the stairs.

The scent of bacon and pancakes wafts down the hallway and my stomach rumbles in anticipation.

“The movie kinda sucked, but I think everyone had fun.” I go for the vague answer, not wanting to scare her by trying to explain Bella’s theory-on-danger test.

“Oh? What movie did you see?” Her eyebrows pinch together as she tosses the question over her shoulder.

“The new one that just came out about zombies, it had jump scares and chase scenes that had me scared out of my mind the entire time. And after the movie, Jessica went on this rant about how it might have a double meaning for leprosy, I had to fight not to laugh.” Pouring two glasses of orange juice, I set the table as I explained.

“Dear Lord, I worry about that girl sometimes.” Dishing food onto my plate, she pauses. “I’m glad you had a good night out.”

I opt to shove food in my mouth instead of responding to her quiet comment. Halfway through my pancakes, the familiar crunch of gravel under old tires sounds from the driveway.

“Who-?” But I’m peaking through the blinds before she could finish the thought.

“It’s Bella Swan.” I glance at my mother with raised brows before dashing to the front door.

Swinging it open before her raised fist could knock, “What are you doing here?”

“I uh, I came by to see if you wanted to hang out at the Rez with me today? I’m going to see Jacob if you want to tag along.” She toes her shoe on the corner of our welcome mat as she digs her hands in her jacket, nervous.

“Of course, let me go change! You’re more than welcome to come in while you wait.” I dash up the stairs before she can answer, leaving the door open for her to walk in.

“Isabella Swan! I’m so happy to see you stop by dear!” I sigh as I hear my mom’s over-excited voice drift through the house.

I try to hurry and swap my sweats for jeans before my mom could drill her for more information about last night. I love the woman to death, but her middle name might as well be nosy.

Snagging my current read from my desk after tugging on my ratty pair of chucks, I rush back downstairs.

“Ready!” I call to Bella.

“Thanks for letting her hang with me, Mrs. Y/l/n.” I hear Bella tell my mom before escaping the kitchen.

“Anytime dear, you hardly even have to ask.” My mom winks at me from over Bella’s shoulder and I roll my eyes playfully in response as we head out of the front door.

“Be safe you two! Call if you need anything!” Shouting from the front porch with a smile and a wave, I return the wave once I’m settled in the old red truck.

Turning onto the road, I dive right into my curiosity, “Okay so what’s really going on today?”

“We’re actually going to the Rez, but it’s a surprise.” She hooks a thumb over her shoulder to the bed of the truck.

Twisting, I notice something rather large covered with a tarp in the back. “And what is that?”

“Actually, what are those. And they were free, you’ll just have to wait and see.” Drumming her thumbs on the steering wheel to some imaginary beat, I huff and face forwards again.

If I had to go by any indication of what happened last night, this surprise doesn’t bode well.

• Black residence, La Push Indian Reservation •

Reader

Climbing from the old red truck, a tall and tan guy comes running up to meet us. Well - Bella, if his eyes souly trained on her is any indication of his attention.

“Bella! Where the hell have you been loca?” I notice the wide grin on his face causes one to appear on Bella’s, interesting.

Looking over her shoulder after spinning her in a circle, this Jacob guy finally notices me, “And who is this?”

“Oh that’s Y/n Y/l/n, a friend from school. I hope you don’t mind I asked her to tag along?” She finishes sheepishly, but he shakes her concern away and extends a hand towards me.

“Jacob Black, nice to meet you.” He flashes me a much smaller smile as I accept his handshake and nod with a small smile of my own.

“I uh, also brought you something.” Pointing at the tarp-covered-mass in the bed of her truck before flicking up a corner to show us. “It’s a little crazy.”

My eyes widen as I take in the two dirt bikes.

“Wow, scrap metal. You shouldn’t have.” Jacob jokes, already sensing the train wreck this is about to be.

“I saved them from the junkyard.” Glancing between us to measure our looks, “I think they’ll probably cost more to fix than they’re worth, but then I thought that I’d I had a mechanic friend to help me out then-”

“Oh - me, being the mechanic-type friend?” A half-laugh slips out of him as he puts the puzzle pieces together.

“That’s right.”

“Since when are you into motorcycles?” His question takes me back to last night and I play with the drawstrings on my worn hoodie anxiously.

“Since now.” A pause as she assesses him, “I get it if you think this is really stupid. And reckless-”

“It’s completely stupid and reckless.” She visibly deflates at his confirmation.

“Bella, I’m not sure this is the best idea-” but he cuts me off before I finish.

“When do we start?” Both of us snap our eyes to his face, searching for the punchline.

“Um, now! Please?” Bella responds dazed.

“Alright.” Jacob immediately reaches for the first bike to unload our new projects.

“Oh hey, be careful those things are actually-” He lifts them as if they’re toys instead, “Really heavy. Jake, you’re like, buff. How did that happen, you’re like sixteen.”

“Age is just a number baby, what are you like forty now?”

Bella’s eyes immediately meet mine and my breath stutters for a second at the discussion of age, something the both of us are all too aware of.

“Feels like that sometimes.”

We both follow him into the garage around the side of his house as he pushes both bikes inside. Settling onto the old couch behind where Jacob works, I dive into my book while Bella watches him take everything apart.

Over the weekend, Bella drops me off and picks me up again to hang out while Jacob works away at the first bike. It’s comfortable, relaxing and enjoying their company without having to feel like I need to contribute, my presence being all that Bella wants from me.

Soft music drifts from his radio perched nearby, but Bella leans over to switch it off.

“This song's good, you don’t like it?”

“Um, I don’t really… like music anymore, kind of.” Bell’s confession causes me to reread the page I’m on, sadness spilling into my chest and distracting me from the words on the page, because I get it.

“Okay, no more music.” Jacob gets back to cranking on one particularly stubborn bolt and I meet Bella’s eyes over the top of my book, a knowing look passing between us.

We’re two sides of the same sad coin, no matter how you flip it, the outcome is always the same - hurt and anger and denial. There’s no winning anything tossing this coin - it’s the crusty penny that’s forgotten about on a sidewalk somewhere facing tails-up. Nobody wants it because it’s not bringing you good luck and there’s so few people in this world that are the type to stop and flip it over for the next person. That’s what it feels like, watching everyone pass us by as they live life, no one to stop and pick us up.

Except maybe for Jacob, for Bella at least. Meanwhile, I have him in my dreams.

Light knocking echos in the large space, “Yo Jake, you in there?” Two boys emerge from the slightly open door.

“It’s okay, it’s just my boys.” Jacob informs us as he sees us tense at the intrusion.

“Hey Jake.” They both greet their friend while observing us.

“Hey guys, this is Bella,” Directing a hand towards her and then me, “And this is Y/n.” Turning to look at us now, he points at the two newcomers, “That’s Quil and Embry.”

“I’m Quil Atera.” Nodding in our direction, trying to play it cool.

I cover my mouth to stifle a giggle at the obvious flirtation.

“So the bike building story is true?” Quil Atera asks.

“Oh yeah, I taught him everything he knows.” Another giggle threatens to burst at her mock-serious answer.

“What about the part where you’re his girlfriend?”

I immediately choke on my laughter at Bella’s surprise, girlfriend?

“Actually we’re friends.” Bella fires back and I cringe.

“Ooo-burn!” Embry teases.

“Actually, I remember I said she’s a girl and a friend.” Jacob says, trying to cover his blunder with his friends.

“Embry, do you remember him making that distinction?”

“Nope.” Embry pops the ‘p’ to exaggerate the embarrassment.

“So you guys have girlfriends, that’s awesome.”

Jacob immediately busts out laughing at her comeback, “Yeah right, Quil's actually taking his cousin to prom.”

“Oh ouch.” This time I jump in to acknowledge the burn.

“Yeah that’s still alright. You want funny, Black? I’ll give you funny!” Quil launches at Jacob and the two go at it like kids at recess trying to take each other to the ground in a play-fight.

Embry lumbers over to us and we take turns laughing and placing bets on the two rough-housers. It’s starting to feel normal, hanging out with other people again.

Just not the normal I wanted.

• January 17th, 2006 • Ithaca, New York •

Jasper

A soft knock at my bedroom door raises my eyes from my book.

I wasn’t actually reading, it was more of a stare-and-daydream sort of thing. The words weren’t registering on the page, but her eyes were. They filled the gaps between sentences, her smile occupied the margins, her laugh drowned out the page turns.

It was useless trying to think of anything else, she was everywhere I looked. I didn’t have the option of sleep, but I know that wouldn’t be a reprieve either.

“Carlisle and I are going hunting, would you like to join us sweetheart?” Esme’s voice has always been kind and her emotions are even kinder. Patience, hopefulness, and the worst: love and understanding. Those two hurt the worst, understanding felt more like pity and the love? There was only one person’s love I wanted to feel, everyone else’s paled in comparison.

“I’m fine, not hungry.” If my gravely voice didn’t give my lie away, my black eyes certainly did.

Pain, sadness, pity-

Anger flares in my chest at the last one and I’m up from my chair in a flash, turning my gaze away from my adoptive mother and out my window. The split second of anger I felt towards Esme adds another speck of rot to the inside of my chest.

“I-I’m sorry hun, I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s fine, I’ll be fine.” Looking over my shoulder, but not quite meeting her eyes, “Enjoy your hunt with Carlisle.”

She’s gone half a second later, her light perfume drifts through my empty room and it makes me regret being short with her.

“The fuck is your deal?” Annoyance seeps from Rosalie in my doorway.

“The fuck is yours, Rose?” Long gone is the southern gentleman I was raised to be as I spin around.

“You. You and Edward. This sulk in my room and refuse to function bullshit!”

“What does it matter to you? You have Emmett, you have everything you want-”

“Stop right there.” Her tone was absolutely lethal and I know why. “You’re throwing her away and forcing everyone else to too-”

“You don’t get to lecture me on her-”

“I can and I will! It’s quite literally tearing this family apart!” Her slender finger pokes the middle of my chest and I temper the urge to snap it.

“Since when do you give a shit about this family?” I sneer back at her.

“I care about how this is eating at the sister I never had growing up. I give a shit about how this is killing the light in my husband’s eyes. I care about how it’s hurting Esme to see two of her sons struggling for no reason. And believe it or not, I care about you and Edward too.” She pauses, eyes flicking between mine, searching. “One fuck up-”

“It wasn’t just a fuck up!” I grip her upper arms and shake her lightly. “I could’ve killed her! I went fucking nuclear and with her there is no room for fuck ups!”

“You’re in love with her.” The realization surprises her.

“It’s more than that.” I drop the hold I have on her and begin pacing.

“Mates?” Now the real shock settles in on my sister.

I don’t stop pacing, letting my silence answer for me.

“Fuck.” Rose’s response is beginning to feel like a summary of my life now.

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