#I’ll probably delete this later Watch I’ll see it later on and go… Girl what are you on about

[serenadeofsunshine]

Buh (just a venty ramble below I Apologise)

“I’ve been thinking far too much again about the dumbest things and it’s making me sad” And other hits by ticky worm

sparing the details but I had a family thing today and it ended with everyone talking down to me Like Usual. But something struck a chord within me and now my brains all like………….. Dang girl your f/os would hate you. like yeah they’re just fictional it’s stupid to think that way but I dunno I’m not well

I’ve always struggled with feeling unlovable n all that and it’s starting to pry its way into the number one thing that helps keep my spirits up and i just feel So Down… I keep thinking things that are super distressing that I’d rather not discuss and I just. Bwuh. my brains a scary place. I just want to drink juice and play and draw But alas. The thoughts are meanie mean mean to ticky

is that weird. Is that odd. Is that Strange. It feels like it. okay that’s enough of that Sorry my apolocheese I’ll be normal in a few

[livindeadgirlgrav]

Taken

Pairing: The Grabber x fem reader

Warning: Kidnapping, violence, possible dubcon, manipulation, bad language, toxic, NSFW, abuse, Stockholm syndrome!

A/n: Soo I started writing this story I couple years ago and never got to finish it since my old account got deleted soo Imma have my Frankenstein moment! Hope you like! Also I listen to music to help me write stories soo the song for this story particular is Put Me In a Movie-Lana Del Rey

Ps. I don’t condone anything this character does he’s a bad person like all the other slashers!

First + second person pov! Also alternating pov!

There I was running for my life in the middle of the street. No idea where I was or where I was going just knew I needed to leave. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years now. He was a good man but not anymore. I still can’t wrap my head around what happened to him, all I know is he changed. Let me explain how I got in this situation, to make a long story short I’ll start at this morning.

I woke up to the sound of things being thrown about. “What are you doing?” I asked rubbing the sleep from my eyes. “You are a piece of shit you know that!? I should have left you back home! You are worthless!” Your scum of a man shouted at you. “What did I do!?” He turned around and slapped you hard. “You know exactly! Hiding my shit! You are such a child” You held your cheek as you grit your teeth. “You would probably like that huh? I see how you look at any woman!” You spat at him. He completely ignored you as he found his keys. “I’m going to work don’t be a cunt.” He said slamming the door behind him. You huffed looking around at the mess he created, you two had just moved here and got settled in. You couldn’t believe that you left everything for him! Your friends and family just to be abused by him.

Later on during that night you received a call from the douchebag. “Hey I’ll be home late I gotta work overtime.” This was your chance! You could leave him, stop this madness you’ve learned to deal with and take. Well not anymore once the phone hung up you were fast on your feet packing your stuff. It wasn’t a lot you guys moved a lot and when you move a lot you lose a lot too. Your whole life could fit in a backpack and it did. After packing you decided to take a quick shower and brush your teeth. It maybe took you an hour to do everything, you were trying to be quick and thank god you were for when you put your last shoe on, your prick of a boyfriend was walking in the door. “You liar” you thought as you ran to the bathroom locking the door behind you. “Y/n! What are you doing!? Y/n!” He yelled, as he banged on the door you quickly toss your bag out the bathroom window at this point he was practically kicking in the door. But once you crawled out the window and your feet hint the ground the bathroom door gave in. You grabbed your bag and ran hearing the abusive prick scream your name.

And that’s exactly how I got here, running for what felt like miles till I saw a mysterious man and a black van. “Please help me! Please” I said getting closer to the man noticing he was walking a rather large dog. “A man is trying to hurt me! He’ll kill me if he catches me!” I practically yelled. “Okay, okay I’ll help you.. here jump in here.” The man said opening the back of his van. I knew this was sketchy but anything was better then that ex of mine. After a couple minutes I heard him yell. “Hey excuse have you seen a girl about yay high, h/c hair, e/c eyes?” He sounded out of breath as he should be for chasing me. “No I haven’t seen any girl I’ve been walking Samson here.” The man said watching the other breathless man. Hearing his footsteps fade the van door opened. “Thank you so much! I really appreciate it!” The man smiled. “You wanna see a magic trick?” You looked at the man finally noticing he had a top hat and dark shades on which was weird to you since it was night time. Before words left your mouth the man grabbed you and sprayed this sticky liquid in your mouth. You coughed for the taste was terrible and sung the back of your throat. Before the man pushed you back and slammed the door you managed to hit and scratch him . “H-hey! W-what did you give m-me?” You coughed out hearing a hush and the van engine turning on. Samson, the dog bark making your ears ring roughly. You fought as hard as you could but you soon blacked out.

“My neck, my fucking neck. I should snap yours for what you did to my neck.” The man growled before tossing you onto a mattress on the floor. Sitting up I looked at him the best I could, vision still blurry from whatever he gave me. Looking at my surroundings to see what I assumed was a dirty basement. “Jesus it’s covered in blood.” You looked at the man as he crouched beside you giving you a good view of his devilish mask. “It’s like I killed someone. You see that?” He huffed showing me his scratched neck then waving his fingers in my face. “Not like you can see shit.” Starring at the man you grew fearful. “I know that you’re scared but I’m not going to hurt you anymore. What I said about snapping your neck..I was angry is all you did a number in my neck.” He chuckled. “I’m not gonna hold it against you” he said in a more light tone scooting closer to you. “I guess now we’re even.” He said was he played with your hair. “You don’t have to be scared, because nothing bad is going to happen here and on that I give my word Johnny.” The man put up two fingers signaling he swore. “You like soda? Hm? I’ll tell you what imma go get you a soda and then- is that the phone? Did you hear a phone ring?” He got a bit closer to your face so close you could feel his breath if it wasn't for his emotionless mask. “I’m going to get see who it is then I’ll get you a soda and then I’ll come back and explain everything hm?” He stood up and walked to the door turning to take one last look before shutting and locking the door. Gripping the mattress, I looked around seeing this dirty basement was pretty nice. Seeing beside me a black phone, I debated on picking it up but who would I call? I asked myself. Not knowing what was in my system I thought it best to try to sleep it off so I did.

When I woke up the lights were off and the door was still shut. Looking around I was able to get a better view of my surroundings. I grasp the black phone, taking it off the hook and holding it to my ear just to easy my curiosity. "It doesn't work, not since I was a kid. Hang it up." You jumped a little at the sudden noise. Hanging up the phone you turned around to see your kidnapper. The man flipped the lights on. " I know you're scared and want to go home." You stared at the man only seeing his figure due to him not being in the line of light. "I'll take you home soon. Its just..ugh everything is fucked up. I got to be upstairs for a while somethings come up." You nodded a little. "What?" you said softly. "Nevermind what." he said in a tone. "Is it someone up there?" Walking into light you saw the mans mask, it was different he had a big creepy smile and he had a small band-aid like bandage on his neck. For some weird reason you found this mask more comforting then the emotionless one. The man growled. "No one can hear anything if the door's shut I sound proofed it myself, so if you wish to scream or yell do as much as you like, you won't bother anyone." You watched the man grab the door and began to shut it. "I-i don't have a home." The man looked at you and walked back into the room so you could see his face. " I will never make you do anything you won't..like." You backed away a bit, deciding to sit down on the mattress. You were uncomfortable to say the less but for some reason you weren't scared. The man noted your sudden change and shut the door behind him deciding it was best to leave then to keeping the conversation going with you. Once the man left you looked around the room, you found a toilet backed away in a little hall way, old rolls of carpet, and a crack in the cement. Not knowing what to do with your recent discoveries you decided it was just best to try to sleep again. It was annoying but what else did you have to do?

You swore it had been forever since your captor came back down to see you. You sat on the bed with your knees to your chest starring at the door. This isolation was killing you. You stared picking the skin around your fingernails causing them to bleed every now and again. You were anxious, did he forget about you? Were you going to starve to death in this dirty basement? Did someone catch him? Did he not what you anymore? What a minute you thought to yourself did you want him to want you? Snapping out of your thoughts as you heard the door unlock and be pushed open. You sat up letting your knees go. The man walked in with a tray of food. "W-what did you put in that?" You asked as you watched the man walk towards you. "Salt and pepper." He chuckled placing the tray at the end of the mattress he sighed. "Eat it don't eat it. You're already down here, why would I need to drug you?" You were beyond starving, scooting to the end of the mattress you pulled the tray back to the spot you were just in. "Thank you." The Grabber leaned his head to the side watching you through the holes in his mask. As you began to eat the man turned to leave. You nearly choked on eggs trying to speak fast enough to catch him. "Hey! ...Stay." The man looked at you over his shoulder seeing you sitting on your knees. "Please...I don't want to be alone." Watching the man he nodded and walked towards you. You moved to the edge of a corner on the mattress so he could sit on the end, which he did. You noted that the man watched you as you ate and drunk the glass soda he put on the tray.

Once you finished you stared at the man. "What's your name?" "What's yours?" He asked uncomfortable answering the question. "Y/n" You said softly. "That's a beautiful name." You smiled a fair blush forming on your cheeks. You knew none of this was right, especially how you were feeling. Why were you okay with this? You kept asking yourself. "Why did you take me?" Asking softly the man growled a little not liking the question. "I couldn't leave you." He answered, knowing you weren't going to get any more detail you nodded. "Are you the man on the TV? Who took those boys?" You watched his face, his eyes looking for some humanly reaction, but nothing. "That wasn't me, that was someone else.." Not believing him fully you decided to not try to pull more info. "Who was that guy?" Finally asking you a question. "My ex boyfriend bf/n." "Why were you running from him?" You looked down not wanting to talk about it. "He was abusing me. Physically" The man studied your face, scooting closer to you he pushed your hair behind your ear. Looking at his eyes then the smiling mouth of his mask, without thought you reached to touch the mask but as your finger tips grazed the surface the man grabbed your hand tightly moving it away from him. You jumped a little at the sudden movement making the man huff. Letting you go the man stood and walked to the door taking the tray with him. "Wait! I'm sorry I won't do it again." You begged but the nameless man pulled the door to leaving it unlocked. Running to the door you went to open it but you hesitated, leaving the door alone you walked back to the mattress.

After that day you would only see him when he brought you food. You hated yourself for ever trying to touch his mask. He didn't talk to you and he always wore his emotionless mask. You grew to seek his attention and presence. Not knowing if it was the isolation or just the simple fact you were weirdly attracted to him. Not having no sense of time you woke up on what felt like the 50th day, laying curled in a ball watching the phone swing. "Stop it.." "Stop what?" Jumping up you looked at the man seeing he only had his mouth piece of his mask on. "What are you doing?" You said shaky, looking down at yourself just to see if anything was out of place. "I didn't touch you." You looked up at him without lifting your head. "Don't look at me like that." He said with a voice crack at the end. "I just wanted to look at you.." Feeling your breath hence, you pulled your knees to your chest. The man stood from the spot he was just crouching at and walked to you. He sat in front of you starring at you never breaking eye contact. "Your eyes are blue.." He nodded. "My name is Albert. But don't call me that." You smiled softly liking that he was opening up to you, it made you comfortable but it also made these stupid butterflies fly around your semi empty stomach. "Can I call you Al?" You knew who he was, he was The Grabber, the man all over news who took those boys, but you questioned your reality wanting to believe it wasn't him like he said. You did believe it but not in your heart. He nodded as he raised his hand to your face softly brushing his finger against your cheek, you tensed at the contact but relaxed as he continued. Slowly he moved his hand to your chin rubbing it with his thumb and index finger before he rubbed your bottom lip with his thumb. Heart beating fast and loud like a drum you watched him his eyes going back and forth from your lips to your eyes.

"Al."you said breathlessly. Hushing you the man lend in and pressed the lips of his mask onto yours. So many thoughts ran through your head. Should you push him away? Kiss the cold fake lips? Or just sit there? Without thought you kissed the lips of the mask back then pulled away as he did. Albert stared at you his eyebrows raised giving him a sad look. "Al?" He stood up without a word and walked out locking the door behind him, leaving you there alone and confused.

Weeeeelllllll this is part 1 of the story! I hope you guys like it! I'm sorry it's so long but man when I get a story I just can't stop lol anywho part 2 should be up later!

[sephirthoughts]

Identity

(working title)

i posted this forever ago but it completely vanished, so chalk it up to tumblr randomly deleting my posts without notifying me in any way. here it is again

part 1 of this

Summary: this is an intro chapter of a bigger thing, so it basically has some roche/cloud smut and not much plot yet. NOTE: roche isn't the endgame ship

Tags: Roche x Cloud, transmasc cloud strife, fighting as foreplay, semi-public sex

Rating: 18+, no minors, minors DNI, explicit AF,

Warnings: penetrative sex, canon-typical violence, dissociative amnesia, neurodivergent cloud strife, jessie raspberry getting what she fucking deserves

basically this but they fuck

“I just wanted to clear things up between us, because, well…I’ve been throwing myself at you pretty hard, all week, but you give me nothing back. So, what’s the problem? Why don’t you want me?”

Because I know exactly what your neck would look like, in the split second between decapitation and your body collapsing, and it’s all I can see, when I look at you, he did not say. He just stared blankly back at her, like she’d addressed him in a foreign language.

“Like, seriously, are you normal?” Her voice was getting louder, which probably meant she was upset. “Do you even like girls?”

“I like girls, fine. I just don’t like you,” he said flatly, and turned to go. 

“Hey! Stop! I’m not done talking to you!” She hurried after him and grabbed his arm, to yank him back. She may as well have grabbed a bridge pylon, for all the effect it had. 

“I’m done talking to you,” he said, shrugging her off. “Don’t touch me again, or I’ll defend myself.”

Jessie’s face went blank, and she stood there blinking, for a second. Then she laughed aloud. “Defend yourself? Oh, please. I know you wouldn’t really do anything to me. I’m just a sweet little girl, and you’re a big, tough SOLDIER.”

As she said this, she trotted up beside him again and hooked her arm around his waist. One second later, she was tumbling backward across the street, finally rolling to a stop on the hard-packed dirt, on the other side. 

“Cloud! You fucking bastard!” she half-screamed, half-sobbed, as she struggled to her feet. “You just attacked an innocent girl right on the street!! You won’t get away with this! I’ll tell everyone, just you watch!!”

Cloud had already turned to walk away. “Don’t care.”

When he got back to the shithole room he was staying in, he knocked on the door before his, and spent a few minutes talking to a girl he actually gave a shit about. They never talked about anything important, but for some reason, it made her feel better, when he stopped by. 

Then he went to his room, where he laid in bed for two hours, his mind buzzing and racing, but unable to organize a single coherent train of thought, from the disjointed chaos in his brain.

He got to Midgar, somehow. But how? He thought he remembered a loud, high-pitched engine. Like an old gas-powered dirtbike, but that couldn’t be right. The vague silhouette of someone with spiky hair. The thunder of chopper rotors and staccato pops of gunfire…then static and bolts of pain shot through his his head and everything went smooth and white again, like a blank page. 

Another hour passed and he was still tossing and fidgeting in agitation, unable to sleep. He needed something, to take the edge off, but that was a difficulty. He would barely touch booze and hated the altered state of mind recreational drugs produced. He needed to be in control of his mind, 

There was one thing, but…fuck. He told himself he wasn’t going to do this, except in an emergency. Just then, the weirdo next door down started thumping around and groaning like a zombie. Ok, this was now officially an emergency. Cloud grabbed his phone and sent a text. 

Strife: well?

Fifteen seconds later, the screen lit up with a reply. 

SOLDIER Roche: Ah, my passionate little friend! How good to hear from you! To what do I owe the honor of your rather odd greeting, this evening? 

Strife: want to fight or fuck. you in? 

There was a long pause before Roche responded, and Cloud laughed inwardly, knowing exactly what the man’s face probably looked like, when he read those very straightforward words.

SOLDIER Roche: At the risk of overstepping, might I venture to propose a third option? Wherein we do both? 

Strife: hell yes 

Strife: old Hongjin shipping warehouse on the south edge of sector 7 in 20

Twenty-five minutes later, the two were circling one another, like a couple of alpha wolves about to fight for dominance. Which was pretty much what they were doing. Cloud was the first to make a move, swinging the blunt side of his heavy sword into Roche’s ribs, with enough force to snap a normal man in half. 

Roche wasn’t normal. He was a SOLDIER. He went flying, but he hopped right back up, huffing and puffing from having the wind knocked out of him, but smiling from ear to ear. 

His sword flashed silver in the moonlight as he appeared out of nowhere, returning the blow with the pommel of his sword, like a cannon shot to Cloud’s gut, throwing him into a jersey barrier, which he smashed through and wound up covered in pulverized concrete. 

They traded blows back and forth like this, till they were both spitting blood, panting from exhaustion, streaked with sweat and dirt, grinning at each other like a couple of idiots. 

No one who hadn’t been through the mako treatment would understand how it felt, being able to use their full strength against an equally matched opponent. It didn’t just feel good to work out all that mako-induced aggression, it was a necessity.

The shit would build up in your joints and muscles like toxic sludge, and make you feel sick and sore and stiff all over. On top of feeling like a bag of smashed assholes, it would fuck with your head and make you extremely grouchy. When SOLDIERs got grouchy, it was a threat to public safety. 

The fight had devolved into grappling, at this point, and their holds started lingering and getting closer to groping, till they were rolling around on the dirty concrete, actually groping and kissing, hot and urgent and messy, and Roche’s hard dick was grinding into Cloud’s abdomen. 

“We gonna do this?” Cloud said, when he pulled back to take a breath. 

Roche’s eyebrows went up. “Right here?”

Cloud jerked his head toward the nearby building. Never one to need to be told twice, Roche leapt to his feet, scooped Cloud up like a princess, and kicked the door open as he carried him inside. It was a just some steel storage containers and a bare concrete floor. Pretty much the same as the lot outside, but there were walls. 

Roche sat Cloud on one of the containers and they got directly to business. Roche’s pauldrons hit the floor, followed by his leather waist armor, then their mouths were back on each other. Cloud got the SOLDIER’s blue jumpsuit unzipped and pulled it down around his waist, exposing his black tank top and black underwear.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he remarked, sliding his hands up under the top, to grope and squeeze his chiseled pectoral muscles. “I’m starting to think they recruit for SOLDIER based on looks.”

Roche laughed. “If we’re the standard, and not the outlier, I think you have a solid case.” 

His big cock was straining against the stretchy fabric of his underwear, making Cloud’s mouth water. Without a word, he slid to his knees and mouthed over it, before he pulled the underwear down around Roche’s thighs, letting it bounce free. 

“Oh! M—my friend,” Roche gasped, as Cloud took him in his mouth. “My good…good friend. Ha—fuck! Just like that!”

Turned out not even having his dick sucked could shut him up. He kept moaning and making incoherent exclamations, raking his hands through Cloud’s hair as Cloud licked up the shaft, lapping the salty slick off the head, before he took it deep into his throat, shoving his head down and gagging hard, slicking it with spit to stroke it, fully focused on the sensory pleasure of sucking this big cock. When he felt it get hotter and harder, he pulled off with a wet pop. “Don’t come in my mouth.”

Then he swallowed it again, taking it down and holding it in his throat for a longer interval, each time he bobbed on it, like he was trying to choke himself on it.

“Ah…ha! F—fuck, baby, I’m so close,” Roche panted. “I—I’m gonna come! Fuck!”

Cloud leaned to the side, watching him wring himself hard and fast, as he came, spurting long jets of milky-white, all over the concrete floor. 

SOLDIER sexual function did not follow normal human rules, and Roche didn’t get soft after he came. His gorgeous cock just stayed up, stiff and springy as steel, jutting out from his muscular abdomen like a flagpole. Which was lucky for Cloud, who was literally aching to get that thing inside him. 

Roche pulled him into a kiss, entwining their tongues while he unbuttoned Cloud’s trousers and slid his hand down the front. Then he stopped, like someone had hit his pause button.

After a beat, he drew back, looking down at Cloud with an odd expression. “You have a—”

“Yeah. I do. Problem?”

“No, no, it’s just…” Roche swallowed hard. “I think…I might…be in love with you.”

“Tch, fuck off with that,” Cloud scoffed. “Shut up and put your dick in me, before I change my mind.” 

Roche knelt down and pulled off Cloud’s boot, peeling one leg of his trousers and underwear off, then pushed his sweater up, exposing his leanly muscular, very clearly male torso. 

The thin keyhole scars weren’t even visible, anymore. None of his scars were, after the mako treatment, even the ones from childhood. He had a vague feeling of nausea, and opening his eyes in burning, green liquid, and quickly pushed those thoughts away, focusing on the sensory experience

With tender attention due more to a lover, than a casual fuck, Roche licked and sucked Cloud’s rosebud nipples till they were puckered and erect, then kissed his way down his taut ridge of abdominal muscles, to the curly, blonde pubic hair. 

Pushing his slender thighs up and apart, he knelt down and slid his tongue into the hot, wet slit. Cloud gasped and gave a moan, gripping the storage container with both hands, while Roche tongue-fucked him senseless, laving and lapping and sucking his swollen clit, till Cloud came apart with a hoarse cry, hips stuttering as he fucked against his mouth. 

Roche licked him through the spasms, then stood up, tossing him a jaunty wink, as he wiped his chin with his tank top. Cloud rolled his eyes. Roche laughed and leaned down over him, like he was finally going to put it in, but instead, he grabbed his waist and picked him up, like a doll. 

“What the hell are you doing!” Cloud demanded. “Quit playing around and fuck me, already.”

“Patience, my dear friend. You are a once-in-a-lifetime fuck. I want to make sure I do it right.”

So saying, he pinned Cloud against the brick wall, hitching his legs over his shoulders, to bend him effectively in half. Looking into his eyes, he pushed his rock-hard cock into Cloud’s throbbing, dripping-wet hole, in one long, slow slide.

This may not be a viable position for un-augmented humans to fuck for too long, but for Roche, Cloud’s entire hundred and sixty pounds was as easy as picking up a cat. 

“Ungh! You’re so…fucking deep,” Cloud groaned. “Your dick is too big, you’re gonna fuck a hole right through me.” 

“Careful, baby. You keep talking like that, I might get ideas.” Roche gave a ferocious grin and slammed it in, all the way to the base, making Cloud cry out and grab onto his shoulders, bracing himself against the barrage of deep, hard thrusts, till he came on Roche’s cock, back arching and thighs shaking, his insides squeezing and convulsing with his orgasm.

“F—fuck, baby,” Roche sputtered, as he fucked into the sucking spasms. “You feel so fucking good. I wanna come in your hot little pussy.”

“Mn,” Cloud grunted. “Come inside.”

“Really? I can?” 

“Why not? You know we’re sterile.” 

“Didn’t want to be—ha! disrespectful.” 

“Said the guy fucking me in an old warehouse, after we beat the shit out of each other.”

That comment just about ended Roche. He cursed under his breath and covered Cloud’s mouth with a ravenous kiss, pounding wildly into him with his iron-hard shaft, releasing a slippery-hot flood that overflowed and spilled out onto the concrete floor.

“Cloud, my friend, holy shit,” he murmured, nuzzling into his warm neck. “That was the hottest sex I’ve ever had.” 

“Don’t you mean currently having?” Cloud pointed out. “You’re still hard and you’re still inside me.”

“What, I can’t leave a review till I’m out of the restaurant?”

“Review? Gross, get off me.”

“Aww, come on, baby,” Roche wheedled, rocking his hips teasingly. “One more round, what do you say.”

“Fine, but just one. Or…maybe two. Three, tops.”

[candlelitcanvas]

NOOOO IM SO SORRY to the person who sent the Wild Life thoughts ask I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED IT so I just wrote my thoughts here

Oki yay I have Opinions. First of all. I was super hyped ever since the creators started putting teases out, and I’m so happy we’re getting a new life series! Currently, I’ve watched Gem, Pearl, and Lizzie’s POVS and I plan to watch Grian and Martyn and maybe Etho. Those will probably be my main POVs for this season FOR NOW AT LEAST. I’ll def put my opinions on those POVs when I get to them, but for now, you get my limited thoughts. (Also, when I talk about the players, I’m talking about the characters and not the actual content creators.)

First of all, the Gem + Joel team. I…Love this team. They’re both really fun to watch (I mean, all of the POVs are, but you know what I mean) and they both kinda feed off of eachother’s energies. They’re also a pretty powerful duo. We have two PVP legends here, and I’m SO excited to see them turn red and murder people >:) I also think Joel’s impatience and Gem’s stubbornness will make for some pretty hilarious moments later in the series.

Lizzie and her team are just adorable. Like, Scar and Jimmy by themselves are super wholesome I’ve heard (Tango’s got some competition), and adding Lizzie into the mix always shakes things up, so I’m excited to see where this one goes. Realistically, they’ll be the first ones out. IN MY HEART THEY’RE THE WINNERS OKAY. Also giant Lizzie and tiny Joel was everything lol.

Ahhh. GGGG. Scottage 2.0. The girls, the gays, and Impulse. I HATE THEM SO MUCH THEY’RE THE BEST. All the little moments when Cleo and Scott gang up on Pearl. When he says she has “selective memory” about the times in DL she lost him health to powdered snow. LIKE YOU DITCHED HER FIRST??? AND THEN AX CRITTED HER? It seems as though Scott and Cleo regard her as this, like, overly-emotional dog-obsessed ticking time bomb that could go off at any point. Which requires a character dissection in its own probably. Also there’s Impulse. I mean, at this point in time, Impulse just seems like a Guy, but I’m very interested in this new variable. And now Pearl has a dog, so pretty much anything can happen. My prediction is that she’ll stay in this toxic alliance until red and only THEN turn on them. The thing is, this will most definitely reinforce the twisted vision of her that Scott and Cleo have in their minds ALREADY which gets very deliciously angsty. ANYWAYS I’m probably the most excited for this group out of all of them, especially from Pearl’s perspective.

If you have your own thoughts…I love talking and listening to rants, feel free to DM me (I don’t bite I swear!) Okay byeee :D

[faeriemarie]

film bro bf x mpdg gf

a peek inside the script for my manic pixie dream girl dr. starring: fletcher kennedy as my love interest with mentions of allie johnson as my best friend. this is lowkey embarrassing and i’ll probably delete it

So, we never really knew each other in freshman year. I’ve seen him and thought he was SO cute. But, he’d remain my hallway crush. I’ll fantasize about him at home because i’m just that lonely… and stare at him in class… but, that’s it. He was just really pretty from afar and nice to me for the few times we’d talked. I’m such a sucker for people who are nice to me.

And Fletcher knew me too. Actually, he was sure he loved me. He came to every play just to see me. And ever said a word about it. But, he was there and he was falling in love. Completely head over heels falling for me. And I never even knew.

We start to hang out more as sophomores. We meet up at a party. Mid-october. The week before homecoming. I had been falling for him even more this school year. Even writing poems about him. I needed to know him

I’m at the party because Allie wants to go. Fletcher’s there because his bandmates wanted to go. I’m standing in the corner talking to someone I don’t care about. Fletcher spies me and thinks that I look just so effortlessly cooler than everyone there. He can’t stop watching me. Suddenly he gains confidence and saunters up to me. “Rosemarie,” he says.

I tilt my head to look up at him. “You’ve gotten taller,” I reply. Fuck, why would I say that? He’s nervous. I’m so beautiful from afar but now he can see something else. Something so effortlessly cool and elegant and angelic. No one says anything. So, I panic. “Uh, see you later, Fletcher”

The next time I see him, he’s in a room alone. Perhaps 15 minutes have gone by or perhaps time seems to stop when I enter a room. He’s on the balcony in someone’s parents’ room. I open the door and instantly feel the cool autumn breeze “Fletcher, I don’t think we’re supposed to be in here,” I say as I approach him outside.

“I’m not touching anything“

He’s sitting on the ground against the siding. I take a seat next to him. My knee brushes against his elbow. He wants so much to touch me. He examines every detail on my thin ankle and up to my thigh. He has to consciously tear his eyes away as a heat rises in his chest. I speak, “You’re the only person who talked to me tonight, y’know apart from Allie”

“What do you mean? I saw you talking to some guys downstairs”

“You saw me?”

“Not like I was watching you but-“

“I’m only joking, dude”

“Yeah, of course, I knew that”

“Totally”

We drift back into silence: a soft, comfortable silence. I keep eyeing the cigarettes on the ground, inevitably left by the kid’s parents. Maybe Fletcher hasn’t noticed. I grab the box and the lighter. He asks, “You smoke?”

“Not much. a little. just like when I’m depressed and lonely”

He asks, “Are you depressed and lonely right now?”

“No. Not with you”

Smiles creep onto both of our faces. Then more unexpected. He shifts to sit across from me. My eyes follow and my body shifts forward toward him. My scent drives him crazy, like a forest at midnight or something like that. Just… wild. The world is shimmering and bathes me in the coolest light. Is he in love? I look heavenly and he’s falling deeper every moment he’s with me. I want nothing more than to feel his arms around my body. I get even closer to him He can feel my breath on his lips, but I’m scared. This is not how I pictured my first kiss. This was a mistake. I start to back away, but he grabs my hands.

“Fletcher, I can’t”

“Can’t what?”

“I can’t- kiss you right now”

He doesn’t say anything.

I confess, “I’m scared”

“Of me?”

“Of myself… but I- I trust you”

“I trust you too, Marie”

He pulls me in and suddenly I’m kissing him. I’m kissing Fletcher Kennedy. I’m kissing Fletcher Kennedy and it’s perfect. When we kiss, it’s electric. It’s fireworks and magic and a warm little bonfire. I want to kiss him forever. I run my fingers through his hair and just bask in the everything-ness. So perfect and complete.

[theshippirate22]

“Ugh!” Taylor slammed the phone onto the counter.

Lee was too swamped in verifications to look over her shoulder. “Okay?”

“It’s not working!” She cried in frustration. “I can’t get it out of adjudication. I changed the days supply, I checked all the personal information, I even deleted the insurance on file and put it back in!”

“Is it too early?” Lee murmured, stapling leaflets to prescriptions and loading them into boats just to clear the counter.

“It’s Cephalexin.”

Lyn dumped her counted losartan into an amber bottle, label lying crooked but secure, knocked the lid on and sent it off in a boat to Lee. “Do you want me to look?”

Taylor handed over the card and picked up the phone again to address the poor couple waiting in the drive through. “Give us just a second.”

Lyn screwed with the information bombarding the profile’s tabs, looking into what it could be.

The empty counter started to grow a line, which it did, when they got particularly dead- it always heralded a rush at some point. Taylor ran the register while Lyn sifted through what she could.

“Tell them to find a coupon,” Lee decided. “It’s not going to work.”

Taylor groaned. “I’d rather figure this out than have to do GoodRX.”

“Then tell them what the out-of-pocket is. It’s an antibiotic, they’ll probably just pay it.”

“I can’t get it,” Lyn muttered in defeat finally. “I don’t know what’s up. I’ll let Hunter do it.”

Taylor started to say, “Hunter won’t be back-“ but was cut off by the door beeping open and Hunter-slamming.

Taylor laughed peculiarly. “How did you-“

“Hi! Welcome back. Drive through’s for you,” Lyn said, unfazed by the coincidence. She took the tea he bought her from the cardboard divider in his hand and disappeared into the back.

Hunter sighed exasperatedly and sipped his coffee, lifting the phone and pinning it between his head and shoulder. “Hi, can you tell me what’s going on?”

Taylor didn’t really think about it for a while.

But a few shifts later, Caleb asked where Hunter was and Lyn immediately said that he was back by the birth control without looking back- which he was.

And another time, when Lyn said suddenly, “I can’t count when you watch me.”

Taylor looked up from the computer, about to say that she wasn’t even looking at her, when Hunter snort-laughed behind another shelf, where Lyn wouldn’t have been able to see him even if she was facing him.

The final straw, though, was when Hunter had gone on his late Sunday afternoon coffee run and Kelly and Taylor were halfway through bin-rec and wishing they were dead.

“Maybe Hunter will be back soon,” Kelly offered hopefully, crouched down in the bagged bins somewhere between GI and HA.

“He won’t be,” Lyn murmured from the drive through window. “There must be traffic.”

Taylor propped her hands on her hips. “How do you know?”

Lyn just sort of shrugged and went on typing up the faxed prescriptions.

“No, I mean it. You can always tell where Hunter is, even when he’s not here. How do you do it?”

She shrugged again. “I don’t know.”

“Can she really?” Kelly asked, throwing aside the counter and climbing out of her squat.

“No,” Lyn said at the same moment Taylor said “Yes!”

Taylor proceeded to give her the evidence, explaining every time Lyn had done it.

Lyn sort of laughed and shook her head, still working.

“Well, now I want to know,” Kelly cried, throwing her hands up. “Because sometimes I startle you when I’m making noise and you know I’m there.”

“I don’t know!” Lyn cried, still smiling but seeming a bit exasperated.

“Maybe she’s just afraid of him. It’s a survival thing,” Kelly suggested vaguely, tossing up her scanner to flip it and catching it again.

“It’s not.”

Taylor rolled her eyes. “What is it then? I know you know. You’re all defensive.”

Lyn sighed, adjusted her bow against her ponytail and turned around to lean back against the counter. “You’ll laugh. It sounds crazy.”

“Girl, we already think you’re crazy.”

She thought it over, and finally said, "I... I can feel him."

Taylor and Kelly both stopped what they were doing to stare at her.

"I... it's hard to explain. I know where he is. I can feel when he's around me. Like... Bluetooth or something. I have since we met. I just... know where he is. It's like there's something inside of him that something inside of me recognizes. So when he's close, I get aware of it."

Kelly started slowly, "Let me get this right..." She stopped, shook her head and started again. "There's something... magic... inside Hunter... and you use it to figure out how long he'll be gone getting coffee."

It was meant to be a question, but it wasn't phrased that way. Both her and Taylor looked absolutely incredulous.

"I know how it sounds. I think it's crazy too. I just... can't explain it any other way."

Eventually, Taylor nodded. "You know what? I've heard of this before."

"You have?"

"Oh yeah. Loads of times. That sort of magic has a name, you know?"

Kelly turned on Taylor like she had lost her mind too. "WHAT are you talking about?"

Taylor pressed on, going completely deadpan. "It's called attraction. What, something inside you likes it when he's around? Yeah, big mystery. We have got to get you laid, girl. You're not getting anything out of him and thank God for that."

Kelly burst into laughter, dropping her scanner to grab at her sides and cackle, and Lyn rolled her eyes but smiled nonetheless.

"You really think that's all it is? I'm just horny?"

Taylor made a face like she was actually the wisest person in the world. "I guarantee it. You're in dire need of an orgasm and he happens to be around and also have a dick. We can find you a different guy and you'll stop "feeling" Hunter soon enough. Promise."

"I'll hold you to that," Lyn humored her, but really, she didn't believe it. If she could explain it better, they would see that it was more than that. Really, it was.

Kelly hadn't stopped laughing for even a second, and there were genuine tears coming from her eyes. "Lyn, you're delightful."

"Whatever," she chuckled, feeling a familiar queasiness start up. "Cut it out, Hunter's back."

Kelly wiped the mascara from under her eyes and Taylor had enough time to stand up and look over, before the door slammed open with Hunter.

He stopped there, at the three of them staring at him. "What?"

And Kelly burst into laughter again, bringing Taylor down with her. Lyn rolled her eyes again. "You never know with Kelly."

He offered her the Bullshit Face and her iced green tea, but sipped at his own coffee and didn't mention it again.

[regularponyfan]

Thoughts on The Bad Guys: A Very Bad Holiday Part 1

I finally got around to watching this for the first time on Christmas Day, and since then have rewatched it twice. It’s long overdue, but after my third viewing, here are my extensive thoughts on my favorite criminal gang’s newest misadventure:

(Also, stick around til the end where I go through my predictions for the special and see how many things I got right.)

Wait…hold the phone… “A Netflix SERIES”? Holy crap, did they just confirm a “Bad Guys Animated Series” for Netflix?! 🤩🤩🤩

Ok, I know this is just the opening credits and I shouldn’t take it too seriously, but how is Webs able to support the other guys’ weights without collapsing?

Also, she’s a tarantula. She shouldn’t be able to create string (Normally this wouldn’t bother me, except she explicitly states tarantulas can’t make webs in a deleted scene for the movie. Kinda makes her nickname ironic, huh?)

OMG GUYS, I think this is going to become its own series! They even put the title and credits at the bottom of the first scene as if it’s just a regular episode!

Ok, let’s go ahead and get the obvious out of the way: the animation is godawful. I understand they’re on a budget, but c’mon, was it that hard to give us some inbetweens here and there? And don’t get me started on those uncanny facial expressions. (I’ll give more specific examples on how terrible this thing is animated later on.)

The special starts with Wolf directly telling the audience that the story takes place before the Bad Guys turned good…like, he actually looks at the camera and tells us this while he’s driving in the first scene…I know one of Wolf’s abilities is breaking the fourth wall, but as far as I can tell, he can’t predict the future. Why didn’t they just do a voiceover?

Speaking of voices, I’m probably the only one who doesn’t have a problem with the new voice actors (the only one I don’t like is Tarantula’s. IDK, she just sounds off to me. Also, my reaction when I learned Snake’s voice actor played Mickey Mouse: 🤯)

They really should’ve put Shark in the seat behind Wolf instead of Piranha. The little dude is barely visible. XD

Speaking of which, what happened to their car? It looks nothing like the one they use in the movie. Do they have multiple cars or something? I mean, I guess that shouldn’t surprise me because of everything else they “own.”

And while we’re on the topic of “things looking different,” why is Wolf the only one who didn’t receive a new holiday getup?

The Bad Guys (or Webs specifically) now use the term “normies” to describe the citizens of L.A. Ok then…

Of course Piranha likes stinky cheeses 😂. My question is, why’d he try to lie about it? And more importantly, why did he not fart when he did? (They actually bring this up in the special’s novelization.)

It’s a shame we don’t get to see Diane or the chief, but at least my girl Tiffany is back 😁! Now please don’t ever have her do that ridiculous arm-waving motion again. (BTW, Lyoko Comic Dubs, if you’re reading this and need me to do more lines, hit me up 😉).

“IT’S THE BAD GUYS!!!” Um…yeah, lady. They’ve been driving around the city this whole time and weren’t trying to hide it. How are you the first one to notice them?

This special marks the first time movie-verse Snake addresses Wolf as “Wolfie.” It probably shouldn’t be a big deal to me since Webs calls him that all the time, buuuuuuut…🥰🥰🥰🥰

“That’s very not good.” Who said that? It couldn’t have been Wolf ‘cause his lips weren’t moving! 😂

Speaking of animation errors, Snake manages to teleport from the passenger seat to the back in just one shot.

“This isn’t that famous balloon everybody’s freakishly emotionally attached to, is it?” “No, no, no. This is a different giant Santa-shaped balloon.” …I adore this cynical reptile so much. 🥰

And now the Santa balloon is on fire…sure, why not?

Wow, Santa burning up is so tragic, we can even hear Lola Loud crying all the way from Michigan!

And now we get the special’s official title screen. So…what was the point of dropping its name in the beginning then?

What do you know? It turns out that wasn’t Lola Loud crying, but the same woman who warned the citizens about the Bad Guys…even though she never sounded like that before. Gal does great impressions, I gotta say!

“He was like a father to me.” What is it with “The Bad Guys” and daddy issues? XD

They canceled Christmas…because of a balloon…can’t they just…I don’t know, buy another one?

Furthermore, why do the Bad Guys feel the need to cancel their heist because of some guards? They seemed perfectly capable of bypassing security at the Golden Dolphin award ceremony. Was it against their moral standards at this point? Did they just randomly decide one day: “Eh, you know what? We’re criminals, we can do whatever we want to guards. Screw our morality.”

Piranha goes from fake sleeping on a pillow…to Shark’s arm. Animation error aside, that’s actually kind of adorable.

Good lord, that “jumping animation.” 😩 What is this, the Looney Tunes?

It’s sad that the Bad Guys’ attempt at recreating the Santa balloon is more pleasant to look at than some of the close-up shots in this special (We’ll get to those soon, trust me.)

They made a Die Hard reference…in a children’s cartoon…That. Is. Awesome! 🤩

“That guy’s a legend! He parties with ghosts and wears a dress to bed!” Methinks Piranha may be suppressing some hidden desires. 😆

In all seriousness, I would love to see the Bad Guys’ rendition of “A Christmas Carol.” But, sorry Shark ol’ buddy; as great of an actor you are, no one fits the role of Scrooge better than a certain grouchy serpent. 😊

“That sounds a lot like Robin Hood, who is notoriously good.” Spoken like a true Sir Hiss, Snakey my boy 👍. (You know what, screw the last point. I wanna see the “Bad Guys” version of Robin Hood now.)

“He ruined tights for me.” Oh, is that the reason Webs doesn’t wear pants? 😆

Maybe I’m just out of touch with reality, but why does the stereo have two slots for MP3s?

The Bad Guys explicitly state they find most Christmas things to be awful…yet Webs has a holiday playlist? 🤔

“Piranha will help Webs get to the antenna.” Why? Can’t she crawl her way up? Why does Piranha need to be there? Did they just need to give him something to do? Because if that’s the case, can’t he help Wolf and Snake deliver presents? Unless…Wolf wants some one-on-one time with his “best bud.” 🥰🥰🤫🤫

“Buddy, I don’t work with sidekicks.” Scrooge? A sidekick? This lady’s obviously never read the book. Or watched DuckTales.

Did anyone else see Snake’s face before he delivered the first present? It’s almost as if he was saying: “Only for you, Wolfie. Only for you.” 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

“What? You’ve never seen an ab before?” Why Snake, are you showing off for Wolf right now? 😉

It’s honestly adorable that these two know each other so well, they automatically guess when the other is hiding something.

Wait a minute…I’m confused. Normally, Shark’s paper-thin disguises always work no matter how minimal they are. But the second he loses just one piece of the disguise, it doesn’t work anymore? What? (In case you’re wondering, his hat falls off and even though he still has the mutton chops, he’s nearly recognized. Then later on, all he has on is a mustache and that’s enough to fool the shaved ice vendor. Again, what? 🤨)

Yes, Shark. Go ahead and keep talking into your earpiece OUT LOUD while the radio lady is beating you up. That won’t make her suspicious at all. *sigh*

I love Webs’ face after Piranha’s song.

Shark and Piranha refer to each other as “fin bros.” Not gonna lie, that’s really cute 😊.

Good thinking, Wolf. Making it snow when 3/5 of your team is cold-blooded. I can’t see this ending badly at all. 🙄

Ok, as stupid as it is, I love the interaction between Shark and the shaved ice vendor. It’s probably the funniest part of the whole thing.

Of course Wolf doesn’t listen to Webs and turns the machine up to 11 (oops, I mean 10). Again, does he not realize how fatal this could be for the others?

[againstme]

going off of my last post, being given a copy of the screenplay of hir by taylor mac just resonated with me. it just right now made me remember being a young middle schooler going to the public library, and picking up YA books, as one does in the 2010’s, but also finding queer books and sneaking them into my stack of books so my mom wouldn’t notice.

these books were I Am J by cris(spelling?) beam, and freakboy by kristin elizabeth clark. both books talked about transness, the first one focusing on the story of a trans man, who was an artist, that also had history of self harm, being rejected by his family for being trans, and running away for a bit to find himself, only to later have his family accept him. if you know anything about me, you can see why i would resonate with that as a young queer kid, lol.

the second one was also focused on transness, with the main plot being split into the perspective of three characters: an out trans woman, a closeted trans/nonbinary?/genderqueer? (potential) trans woman, idk it’s been so long since I’ve read it, and the closeted person’s partner, which i didn’t really care to read about honestly.

a thing that i really liked about freakboy is that some if not a majority of the book is in prose. which i really enjoyed, as a lover of poetry, especially queer poetry, at the time. cue me watching button poetry videos about queer identity, still sneaking and watching it when my mom wasn’t around. and writing my own poetry, lost in composition books i’ll never be able to find again, or on websites that are now shut down.

it just made me think. i’ve know i was trans since i was in the 5th grade, in 2011. (yeah yeah think about how ancient you are or whatever lol) once i had the language for transness, i immediately connected with it. immediately was watching “androgynous makeup” or “boy to girl transformation” or vice versa videos on youtube, in secret, deleting my browser history.

always having the instinct to hide it, to delete it, to not let anybody know. to be in and out of the closet, never fully feeling free to be myself. out to some people, closeted to most for my safety was how i spent most of my adolescence until i was kicked out at 18 for being trans, that being seen as me being “defiant” and a “problem child”, “disrespectful” to my mother, straining our already very strained relationship, filled with fighting and arguments, being punished for wearing my brother’s clothes, wanting to cut my hair, trying to bind my chest while wearing 3 sports bras at a time. but always feeling the urge to hide it. for my safety, and because i knew that people were ashamed. that it was a shameful thing in general, and especially to my mom. what would her peers think about her having a trans child, she would say. what about my reputation, she would say. do you know how this could affect me?

but i could never change it. i could never just Stop being trans. it was engrained into me for as long as i could remember. no matter how many dresses or braids or makeup that i was put into by my family, and expected to smile and look like a beautiful girl, being expected to grow into a beautiful woman, marrying a man as a woman, having kids.. i never resonated. i would think at night about it and always come to the conclusion that i would never be happy like that. and still, i had to hide it. i knew for so long, deep down, that that wasn’t the life that i wanted, that i was going to live. because, i knew, that either i would transition or i would die.

the point of this long winded post that people probably aren’t going to read anyways is that even the smallest bits of representation stick with you. a book i only feel comfortable reading at the library while my mom isn’t there, too afraid to check it out. meeting a trans guy for the first time when i was in the 8th grade, and everything clicking. watching the true trans documentary by laura jane grace and seeing trans people alive, despite everything they went through. seeing trans joy. trans love. trans acceptance. it gave me, closeted me, wearing dresses and braids and beads and my hair in puffs as a little girl me, some sense of hope. that i wasn’t going to die. that i had a choice, no matter how long it would take me to get there. pushing through all of it. all of the fights, all of the abuse, all of the trauma, lack of support, trying to come out to friend’s parents that i thought i could trust and then them outing me to my mom, being outed by teachers, going to the gsa and being pulled out of school as a whole as a result, taking off my makeup and stuffing my pride flags into my backpack after coming back on the train from tokyo pride, having my mom tell me to leave because she wouldn’t go against what God says, being alone for my first thanksgiving without my family, not having a mother for a while, all of it. it was hell. it wasn’t easy at all, and i never expected it to be. i never expected that i would’ve lived to tell the story. i thought i was going to die at 16. hell, i tried. many times. to be yet another trans teen suicide, misgendered and deadnamed by my family at my funeral, the wrong name being put on my gravestone. i was ready to accept my fate.

but i made it. every little bit of representation i could find, through books, poetry, tv shows, documentaries, all consumed in secret, made me stronger. gave me hope. gave me the resilience to keep going because i wanted to, needed to, reach my goal. reach the ability to be happy, at home in myself in a body that felt so distant from myself for as long as i could remember. i made it.

[teenmomcentral]

Amber Portwood’s behavior on the latest episode of Teen Mom: The Next Chapter is being criticized by, not only viewers of the show, but some who star on it, too.

As you may know, Thursday’s episode featured a birthday dinner for Amber and ex Gary Shirley’s 15-year-old daughter, Leah, to which Amber arrived extremely late. After finally making her grand entrance, Amber joined Leah, Gary, Gary’s wife Kristina, and the couple’s daughter at the table, where things proceeded to go down hill.

At one point, Amber asked Leah if she was aware that she would need her mom “more than ever” now that she’s 15, as she’s “about to get real crazy”– a comment that Leah seemingly ignored. Amber then decided to talk about her new boyfriend (and now, fiance) Gary (aka Gary 2.0) and even pressure the birthday girl to check out a pic of her new boo. 

When a visibly amused Leah opted not to fawn over her mom’s latest couchmate, Amber immediately took offense. Unfortunately, it didn’t stop her from continuing to embarrass herself or from admitting to Leah that she wants to have a third kid. After apparently failing to get the reaction from Leah that she was hoping for, Amber kept the very un-happy birthday BS coming. 

“What the f**k are you talking about?” Amber asked Leah, who tells her mom that she didn’t say anything about her new boyfriend.

“That’s the point,” Amber replied. “That’s her being a d*ck. See, you make me wanna cuss.”

The birthday dinner concluded with some more comments from Amber and a tense argument between Amber and Gary (Leah’s dad) that left Leah in tears.

Prior to Thursday’s episode, Amber’s cast mate Briana DeJesus let fans know that she took issue with the way Amber spoke to her daughter and encouraged her to “do better.”

“I know I’ll probably get dragged or get a phone call but after watching a certain scene….I don’t support talking down on ur kids or even calling them names. Do better!” Briana posted to X, confirming later that she was referring to Amber.

Briana’s (first) baby daddy, Devoin Austin, also hinted at his thoughts on the scene, commenting a side-eye photo on a clip of the birthday dinner that was posted to Instagram. Even Jenelle Evans– who, quite honestly, should’ve sat this one out– co-signed Briana’s comments on the scene.

“Girrrrrl I just watched 🤯,” she replied to Briana’s (since-deleted) tweet.

Former Teen Mom: Young and Pregnant star Rachel Beaver also sounded off on Amber’s antics from Thursday’s episode– particularly the moment when Amber insisted that Leah “needs her.”

“ … She’s never really been there for Leah & when she does come around she seems to make things about her instead of trying to talk & get to know Leah,” Rachel wrote. “Then she straight up calls this kid who’s already hurt from not having a mom a ‘d*ck’ for not being interested in her boyfriend?

“If anything she already has [Kristina] who’s there for her during these teenage years due to Amber barely ever being there,” she continued. “I would’ve lost it if I was Gary so I understand his frustration. Honestly poor Leah, she has put in so much effort to have a relationship with Amber & open up just for Amber to act like this.”

Amber has not commented on the backlash she received following Thursday’s episode. Oh, but she did reportedly confirm that she’s engaged…so there’s THAT.

[bookishfeylin]

Anon who brought up Rhys needing be added in here: I know, I know. I’m just frustrated that there are so few receipts because most of the surviving ones are ones that are more pro-SJM being a “literary genius” than the ones where she implicates herself… which ironically should have more proof since it’s quite literally in every single thing she’s involved in. So thank you for wanting and finding receipts! 🥹 It makes me feel crazy because I know I remember this stuff, but since I don’t have the things to back it up no one ever believes me. 🥲

But I’ll say this as someone who has been here since her debut and was a hardcore stan with a fan page dedicated to her. (Deleted now, unfortunately. 😩) The thing about SJM is that she is a pathological liar. (I’m pretty sure she even admitted to being a huge liar when she was younger once in an interview, along with the fact that she was a “weird” kid because she was into fantasy and nerdy stuff (sounds a lot like not like other girls syndrome that’s trickled to her characters oop.) You can’t read/watch/listen to one interview by her, you have to read/watch/listen to them all. You have to go through her twitter (which she wasn’t active on for long) and her instagram (which she isn’t active on for long) and her tumblr and her livejournal (all or most of which aren’t even up anymore I think. It’s been a while since I checked). Because she would throw in random facts that she later tried to hide (irl retcon anyone?). This is why newer readers are at a disadvantage. They don’t know all of this because it’s pretty much scrubbed from the internet (…suspiciously) with few saved screenshots or transcripts. (Though tbh, I highly doubt they would care even if it was all still out there. They’d probably still be like damn, that’s crazy.. so anyway!)

SJM in the beginning of her career was a lot more loud mouthed than she is today. She revealed a lot during those days, including but not limited to her stating that she doesn’t plan, that she changes the stories’ endings even as they were being published, etc. She started getting more quiet when she started getting more criticism for her harmful work and then when dick soap gate dropped, and she fully started being called out for having adult content in YA, and more and more authors and booksellers and fans started alluding to her horrendous behavior behind the scenes (calling Bardugo fat and making fun of her disability, her whole toxic relationship with Dennard, her disregard for her fans when they asked her basic questions like if TOG would have a lesbian couple endgame because of the way their relationship was written in the fourth book and she rolled her eyes or hustling a fan along when she saw that she had scars on her face like she was embarrassed to be seen speaking to that fan, etc), that was her nail in the coffin for her social media presence. That was when she all but left the internet, started charging extra for her signings, pretty much stopped the book signings in favor of pre-signing books, started having what questions she could be asked moderated and even those are limited to how many are asked to the point where now every single one of her interviews ask the same questions with the same (mostly scripted) answers, etc.

Also pro tip: Whenever SJM says her books keep getting longer, it’s not because she following a story. It’s because she’s changed it and now has to write retcons to fit it. See: TOG originally being a trilogy like the original version she wrote on ficpress… and then it expanding by three more when she decided to change the endgame and having to change the rest of the story to put them together and then expanding it by one more book after she received backlash for cutting out the pov o a character who was a main character in the first four books and was then character assassinated in favor of said endgame love interest (which was also supposed to be a novella, not a full length book that you had to read in order to continue on with the series, but as she introduced a character literally not one single person heard of in the first three books as part of the character assassination, she had to do something with her too) (All my TOG girlies, listen I love Nesryn but you can’t sit here and tell me she serves anything to the plot other than being a romantic plot device to try to get Chaolaena shippers who still had hope to jump ship and since people weren’t buying that (because Nesryn literally didn’t exist until that fourth book), she set him up with Yrene instead). See ACOTAR originally being a trilogy. I’m pretty sure Crescent City was also supposed to only be a trilogy, but somewhere it expanded to more books. The only difference with Crescent City is that it seems like she figured that out before it was published, not after, although with the second book it does seem like she, again, scrapped whatever she set up in the first book in favor of creating a story where she could converge CC and ACOTAR. 🤷🏼‍♀️

TLDR: SJM is a bad author on and off page.

Oh yeah! And in her most recent ACOSF interview she also said she rewrote the second book from the original version (though she was trying to say she was setting up what she had planned in acosf since then which is bull lmao it’s more like she reread acomaf and decided to play around with something because we know from acofas she’d planned an illyrian rebellion for nesta’s book and that was scrapped)

Well that's disappointing. :/ Definitely a white feminist then.

The funny thing is, I have receipts that show Throne of Glass was changed (the wiki acknowledges the original Queen of Glass fanfiction Sarah wrote, and a booktuber made a video on it after reading the fanfiction. Apparently it was, as you said, originally a trilogy, and it ended up with Dorian x Celaena, not Rowan x Aelin, and changing the endgame ship meant she had to add more books and plot to the original to fit Rowan in), but ACOTAR receipts are harder to come by (probably because it was never a fanfiction.)

And now I almost want to go to that ACOSF interview just to find her saying she rewrote ACOMAF, because boy would that send this fandom into a tizzy. ACOMAF is ~the sacred book~ and heaven forbid Sarah change it for any reason.

But we do know a few things that also point to ACOTAR 2 being... very very different from ACOMAF:

-First and foremost, her newsletter where she admits to scrapping ACOTAR two and keeping the romantic arcs (interesting she said romantic arcs and not love interest. Hmmmmm) but "starting over" which caused the plot to "explode in ways she hadn't imagined." (and stans are already being testy in the notes there. Hooooo boy. I'm sorry, OP!!!).

-Her old comment saying Nesta and Lucien were the og ship and that she changed it to Elain and Lucien (if Elucien DOESN'T happen, then, that's just one more receipt for you and me :) ) and that Nessian were not a thing until Nesta and Cassian met at that dinner table. This suggests that most of the plot of ACOTAR 2 was not Night Court centric, given Nesta wouldn't be interacting with anyone in the Night Court and therefore wouldn't have a chance to meet and fall in love with Cassian.

As it is, we'll never truly know what the original plot was. We don't even know how many times she's changed ACOSF! Until more interviews and newsletters are found/dug up where she admits to changes, we're just going to have to guess at what the original plot was. But hints here and there suggest the ACOTAR series was originally very, very different, and given Sarah's track record with her other series, I wouldn't be surprised if the entire plot was changed to make her endgame ship sail.

[mbav-obsessed]

Sooo...I’m conflicted.....

TW: Grooming, grooming allegations

Okay, so I just wanna say something about Atticus’ allegations because it’s been a couple days now since finding out and I have thoughts. Ones that may have changed since my initial reaction. That, and I’ve been getting tons of anon questions regarding how I’ve been doing since then.

First off, I wanna say that people may not agree with what I’m about to say but HEAR ME THE FUCK OUT, OKAY? Please don’t immediately come for me and yell at me. Hear me out. Okay? Okay, here we go, long post ahead…….

If you’ve been following this blog for the last couple of days, you’ll know that I’ve decided to log back on here and see everything I’ve missed. That being said, you can probably imagine how shocked I was when I saw a post from someone else saying something along the lines of “Sooooo is Atticus just gonna ignore these allegations oooorrrrr….?” And I’m like “Hold the fuck up….what did I miss? WHAT ALLEGATIONS???!??!!” My jaw dropped and my heart shattered after looking it up and watching the victim’s two TikToks (the first was the initial one exposing him and the second one explaining how everything happened).

My immediate reactions were shock, anger, disappointment, disbelief....you name the negative emotion, I probably felt it. I even texted my sister and told her what was happening with proof.

My reaction was so strong because Atticus actually has responded to my comments on Instagram and Twitter multiple times over the past 9.5 years. They’re on here if you look DEEP through my archives. Nothing even close to how he responded to her, but he’s aware of my existence.

Now, I mention this because not only have I been one of his biggest fans since I was 14 (I’m now 25, turning 26 in less than a month), but I’m also in a wheelchair. In my mind, I was thinking That could have been me....I’m 2 years older than her, but he could have noticed the chair and targeted me....

Nobody has ever taken advantage of me like that, but that was the thought that went through my head because I know people can be sick and do that. I was just shocked that he would even have the audacity to talk to a 16 year old girl with THAT intention later on.

I unfollowed him on everything I had him on because why wouldn’t I? I even thought about deleting his music and MBAV off my devices.

It has been a couple days now and I’ve had time to cool down and really think. Now, I want to say that I in NO WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM CONDONE WHAT HE DID. Because NOBODY in their 20s, no matter who they are, should ever be trying to flirt with an underaged kid, let alone a 16 year old. I also 100% believe the victim and my heart goes out to her, and I hope she continues to heal.

(Now for the part people may attack me on.....) With all of that being said...I want to give Atticus the benefit of the doubt. I hate what he did, it bothers the hell out of me, but as far as we know, he hasn’t done it to anyone else. Once is still disgusting, so I’ll probably still back off and not support him as much as I did before to keep my guard up, but I don’t think I’m going to cancel him completely.

For example, I’m still gonna watch the upcoming 3rd season of The Hardy Boys when it comes out but that’s because I’m already invested in the show, and it’ll be the last season. Same if anything ever comes up for My Babysitter’s a Vampire because come on, why the fuck wouldn’t I?! However, I will not be going out of my way to spend money on his content (his music, his movies or shows if I can’t stream them, etc). Same goes for here, like, I might reblog or make something related to a show or movie he’s in, but not actually him (interviews and whatnot). However, this may also change as time goes on or if he fucks up more.

So yeah. I’m conflicted. TL;DR: I absolutely hate what Atticus did and am disgusted by it, but I’m not outright cancelling him for it while still keeping my guard up.

You guys can do whatever. Cancel him completely or not, I get it and I support you

[ameliora-j]

this is shitty and rushed and i hate it more than i hate part one but whatever i’ll probably end up deleting them both [PART 1]

words: 861

harry and ron were a mess without you. and you were somehow worse without them. nothing felt right anymore. you trudged through the halls and you didn’t smile. your bubbly personality was gone. you spoke to virtually no one, not even your friends. you didn’t feel much of anything anymore but you couldn’t lie, seeing hermione curled into ron’s side stung.

harry cornered you in an abandoned alcove after about two weeks and backed you up against the wall. you stared up at him, nearly bored expression on your face, but your heart was pounding out of your chest at his close proximity. “talk,” he demanded.

“what about?” you whispered, studying his face, attempting to commit every tiny detail to memory.

“what happened?” he demanded.

you tried to hold it in but the way he was staring deep into your eyes had you sighing and exploding into word vomit. “i didn’t do anything,” you sniffled. “hermione lied and said i was mean to her but she was the one that called me a stupid slut. told me i took ron from her but no i didn’t! i left to go to the bathroom cus i was crying. and i didn’t want to mess up your friendship with hermione so i didn’t want you guys to see me cry. and when i was in the bathroom she put on her stupid little good girl act. and told ron that i was bullying her!” you let out a small whine as you finally released the details of two weeks ago.

harry released a small sigh and pulled you to his chest. “that’s what you wanted to talk to me about when we came back?” he asked softly, pressing kisses to your head.

“yes. because you always talk him down. you always tell him what really happens and he listens to you. but we came back to the castle and the twins were dragging you away and ron was taking me to the dorm and i just… i didn’t have the energy to argue hazzie,” you sniffled, pouting up at him.

“come on,” he whispered, bending down and lifting you off the ground. “we’re gonna talk to him, yeah?” he asked.

“i don’t want to talk to him. i only want you hazzie,” you sniffled.

“gotta at least explain why you’re upset with him. deal?” he asked. you nodded as he sat you on the bed. “i’ll be back. gonna go get him.” you nodded again and watched as harry retreated from the room.

he came back upstairs with ron and hermione about five minutes later. upon seeing hermione, you stood and walked over to harry, standing behind him and hiding your face behind his scapula as you held his hand. “no,” you whispered softly, shaking your head.

“trust me,” he whispered as he turned and kissed your head. “hermione… would you like to tell ron the truth about what happened in hogsmeade?” harry asked.

“yes she still hasn’t apologized,” hermione lied through her teeth.

“what? i told you to apologize weeks ago why wouldn’t you—“ ron couldn’t finish his sentence as you peeked out from harry’s shoulder.

“you’re not my boyfriend. you don’t get to tell me what do do anymore. and i’m not apologizing for something i didn’t do!” you demanded, finally sticking up for yourself before hiding behind harry’s shoulder again.

“what are you on about ‘didn’t do’?” ron snarked sarcastically.

“she didn’t do anything ron. whatever hermione told you she said was a lie. hermione says and does all those things to her. and then cries wolf to try and get her out of your life. and this time you let it work, and i’m not sure she’ll ever want you back again,” harry shook his head.

“i don’t,” you persisted. “only want you hazzie,” you sniffled, nuzzling your nose against his shoulder.

“dove don’t say that please…” ron whispered brokenly.

“you’re mean,” you sniffled. “i don’t like you,” you shook your head.

“hermione,” ron demanded. “get out. and don’t come back,” ron pushed. “i don’t want to see you again” you shyly poked your head from behind harry’s shoulder again slowly stepping back beside him. once hermione was out of the room, ron turned to you. “please…” he whispered. “please give me one more chance and dove i swear to merlin i will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. i promise,” he spoke as he stepped forward.

“okay,” you nodded, slowly opening your arms to allow him to walk into them. he smiled as he pulled you into a hug. “if you ever do it again. i will cut your dick off, and feed it to errol,” you promised.

“yes ma’am,” he chuckled as he kissed your head. “i love you.”

“i love you too,” you kissed his cheek. then, both of you turned to harry and pulled him to the hug as well. “i love you too hazzie,” you kissed his cheek.

“i love you bubba,” he smiled as he leaned in and pressed a soft peck to your lips. and everything felt right again. everything felt okay again. and it was lovely.

[totaldramayuri]

ok fuck if I’m not going to sleep anyway. random 3am thought dump I’ll probably delete later

- I’m soooooo mad that mk got out… I wanted to see her win so bad. Though I did like her n Julia rushing to turn the other contestants against the other, toxic yuri yay <333 The scene at the dock is probably the closest we’ll ever get to mkulia confession and I liked it :] the hug ouhhh

- priyaleb bad

- Damien being constantly tormented by scary girl even in her absence ofc, if we get season 3 I’d love to see if their dynamic changes in any way after Damien’s growth

- speaking of Damien. Cmon really. That elimination was sooooo bullshit (a lot of them were but him + mk annoy me the most bc they’re sooo finalist material wtf are they doinggggg).

- priyaleb sucks so bad

- Julia singlehandedly carrying the final episodes fr

- can someone pleeeease clip the part in ep 12 where Chris says caleb is basic. So real

- god I really wish I could concisely communicate my feelings towards caleb… he could’ve been so good but the writers just have his character go through the td romance circuit over and over repeating the same thing in each episode.. wow u made up with priya.. the. N misunderstanding. Then u make up. Then new conflict that doesn’t get resolved. Yay. Remember at the start of the season how I was excited to see what they did with him. Sighs

- ^same with priya she was so wasted this season. The way winning the show she was literally trained from birth to win barely affected her character… I’ve said this so many times but the only time I actually liked priyaleb is when they used their common conflict with parents as a way to connect to each other. What the hell happened to that

- normal girl just going right back to being scary girl was expected (she was the first boot) but they could’ve done more with it!!! The conflict between being accepted and being yourself… I still don’t get why they designed her a whole ass new outfit just for a one episode bit lol

- mullet julia 👍

- I feel. Conflicted about Wayne winning. Like I get what they’re going for. The most no thoughts head empty player who basically floated through the entire season as comedic relief ends up winning against the two biggest threats of the season. Also I liked him clearly being the other campers favourite, the absolute whiplash between Caleb’s “we just don’t want Julia to win” group vs Wayne’s group being so enthusiastically supportive and hyping him up. On the other hand,, idk it just felt kind of unsatisfying??? like I just had to watch my favourite character of the season get eliminated, immediately followed by the two characters I for sure thought would make it to final 3, and Wayne is the one who ends up winning, when he did. The least anything out of the final group. Idk mannnn I guess I’m just kinda indifferent to him as a finalist. Could’ve had a worse winner but he wasn’t even in my top 5 pick for this seasons winner tbhh

- overall this season was……. Meh. Of course I enjoyed a lot of parts (MKULIA) but between the questionable elimination orders (so many of them felt like they had to jump thru hoops just to make sure they eliminated the character they were sick of writing) and the priyaleb taking up so much screentime when it’s so bland … it definitely holds itself back from being great </3

I’ll post more detailed thoughts on the last few episodes in the morning ig,,

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

[pies-writes-and-more]

covered in bruises

word count: 2,611

pairing: tsukishima kei x fem!reader

warnings: brief mentions of blood, nosebleeds, bruises, and scuffs/cuts, also a bitchy ex-boyfriend who sucks and shares some private pics. also some swearing cause it’s me (but i promise it’s fluffy!!!)

a/n: i genuinely have no clue where this idea came from but I’m a sucker for partners taking care of each other after a fight or something so tadah. thank you to @satan-ruler-of-hells for helping me with the ending and @thisnoodlewritesao3 for helping me with the title! i hope you guys enjoy!

haikyuu masterlist

A few years ago, if you had told Y/N Y/L/N that she would be answering a phone call in the dead of night from Yamaguchi, she probably would’ve guessed that the two of them had forgotten about some project they were supposed to complete and the pair would’ve spent all night working on it while Tsukishima slept peacefully knowing he had finished it.

What Y/N never guessed on happening was Tsukishima stumbling through her front door, only barely being held up by Yamaguchi, the blond’s face covered in scuff marks and blood dripping from his nose and lips.

“What the hell happened?” Y/N gaped, immediately rushing to Tsukishima’s other side and helping him into the kitchen.

“Don’t even get me started,” Yamaguchi grumbled, muttering something about keeping your mouth shut and never would’ve gotten into this mess.

“Stop grumbling. I’m fine. You’re fine. Everyone’s fine,” Tsukishima huffed, pushing the two of them off but swaying a little.

“Tsukishima Kei, what the hell happened to you? You look like you got into a fight!” Y/N stared at him for a moment, watching as his gaze flickered away from hers. She glanced at Yamaguchi, as if hoping that would bring some answers, but he just glared at Tsukishima as well. “I’ll get the first aid kit,” she said after a beat of silence, walking to the other room.

There was a flurry of hushed whispers as she left, Yamaguchi insisting to Tsukishima that he needed to tell her what was going and Tsukishima being blatantly stupid and insisting that there was in fact, nothing going on.

By the time that Y/N returned, hands filled with some spare tissues and bandages, sprays and cotton balls, Yamaguchi had thrown up his hands in the air in exasperation, “I give up. I brought him this far. He’s your problem now,” he groaned, shaking his head towards Y/N. “I’m sorry for dumping him on you, but maybe you can talk some sense into him.”

Y/N and Tsukishima watched as Yamaguchi stormed off, leaving both of them in an awkward silence.

“Are you going to stand there or are you going to help me?” Tsukishima grumbled after a bit, sitting down on a nearby dining chair. 

Y/N raised an eyebrow at him, part of her wanting to smack him in the head but thinking better of it considering his injuries. “Here, hold this to your nose,” she insisted, handing him the tissues as she glanced over his body. From what she could see, the most damage was on his face but if he could keep his nosebleed in order, she could tend to the scrapes and cuts that were starting to bleed on his knuckles.

Pulling up a chair next to him, Y/N sprayed some hydrogen peroxide onto his knuckles. Tsukishima inhaled sharply, pulling away from her grip as he winced, “What the hell is that?” He glared at her, trying not to make it obvious just how much that fucking hurt.

“Give me your fucking hands, Kei,” Y/N demanded, holding her hands out with another vicious look. “You gotta spray them before they get all infected.”

The boy hesitated before slowly letting her hands take his, bracing himself this time as she dabbed away the blood and finally wrapped it up in some medical bandages. “I’ll get you something cold for your nose, hang on,” she mumbled, shuffling to the freezer and digging through to find something helpful.

Tsukishima shifted awkwardly, trying to glance around at anything else so he didn’t have to sit in the silence. “Are you not going to ask?” He muttered out finally, avoiding her eyes as he checked to see how much his nose was still bleeding.

“How about I assume it was something stupid?” she quipped, bringing over a cold ice pack. “Here, I use this sometimes when my muscles hurt after swimming practice.”

He nodded slowly, placing it over his nose in hopes of bringing down any swelling. Now that he was sitting here and his adrenaline was going down, everything was starting to ache a lot more.

“It wasn’t stupid,” Tsukishima murmured, glancing at her for a moment. 

Y/N laughed a bit, shaking her head, “Sure it wasn’t.”

Tsukishima frowned tightly, watching her as she cleaned him up. Her fingers delicately working along his skin, checking for any other cuts or scrapes along his arm. “Why would it be something stupid?”

“Because, the Tsukishima Kei that I grew up with only fought with snarky comebacks and sneers,” Y/N laughed a bit at the memories, glancing up at him and brushing her fingers along the cut on his eyebrow. 

“Wouldn’t that mean that if I had to punch someone, it would be something serious?”

The girl couldn’t contain her laughter anymore, thinking about this string bean of a boy throwing hands, “You punched someone? It kinda just looks like you got used as a punching bag.”

“Hey, it was 3 to 1. And I left some pretty good cuts on them too, thank you very much,” Tsukishima groaned a bit as Y/N dabbed a bit of the peroxide on his eyebrow, swatting at her hand, “Okay okay. I think it’s clean now!”

“So if one of these gets infected, will you be bitching like a little baby then too?” She shot back, smacking his hand away from hers. “How’s your nose?”

Tsukishima pulled the tissues and cold pack away from his face, letting Y/N examine him, “Well, I don’t think it’s broken so you’ll probably be fine. Just don’t take a volleyball to the face anytime soon.”

He just rolled his eyes as she went to start a kettle, insisting that tea was good for healing. 

“If I asked what it was about would you be honest?” Y/N questioned as she brought over two cups of tea.

“Would you believe me if I said they had just such punchable faces?”

“No.”

“Then no.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, kicking at his shin from under the table and making him whine a bit more, “Hey! I’m bruised all over the place!”

“Tell me what happened! Yamaguchi thought I should know so why shouldn’t I know?”

Tsukishima just looked away, fingers drumming along the mug that was warming his hands. “Just... some dude doing some dumb shit. Saying stupid things about...”

“About?”

“About you.”

Y/N stared at him for what felt like an eternity. Tsukishima wasn’t exactly the number one best example of a friend. And it wasn’t like there weren’t people before who didn’t like her. There were bound to be people saying shit.

“What did they say? Do I know them?” She asked finally, thinking back about the list of people she had in her head who definitely didn’t like her.

“It doesn’t matter, they were just being idiots,” Tsukishima tried to insist, sipping at his tea. “I was just annoyed and so I called them out for it. And the one guy took a swing at me. Then we just... did what guys do, I dunno.”

“Is Yamaguchi okay?” Y/N’s eyes widened, looking at her front doors as if the boy would magically still be there. “Did he get hurt?”

“No way. If anything, Yamaguchi probably broke the one guy’s nose,” Tsukishima snickered, thinking back to the moment where one of the dudes crumpled up in pain after Yams smacked him around. 

Y/N nodded slowly, reminding herself to text the boy later and make sure he was alright. “You’re really not gonna tell me what they said?”

Tsukishima stretched his legs out slightly, getting more comfortable in the seat and avoided her eyes some more, as if pretending she hadn’t said anything. But the awkwardness exuding from him was very evident. “He just... said something about you being average... but still kept showing off these stupid pictures,” he finally muttered out, ears going red.

Y/N felt her heart drop a little. She didn’t need to hear anything more than pictures to know that her fucking ex-boyfriend was the one who was causing all this trouble. She had so many regrets about that relationship, and one of them was the photos that she had sent.

“I deleted them,” Tsukishima commented after glancing at her expression. “When I knocked him down I grabbed his phone and deleted them. I dunno if he has other copies somewhere but...”

Y/N practically threw herself across the table, wrapping the string bean boy into a hug. There was such a relief off of her shoulders, just knowing that Tsukishima had tried to get rid of them.

He grunted in response, pulling her closer into a hug but also shifting her weight around so it wasn’t on his side (which hurt like a bitch). “Stop doing stupid things for boys who are too dumb to realize what they have,” he commented, flicking her head.

She gave a little laugh, hugging him tighter for a moment before pulling away, “Yea yea... Does that mean I should stop taking care of you all the time?”

Tsukishima’s lips made a few protesting sounds, huffing before finally standing up and stretching. “I should get going. I don’t want you to stay up too late or you’ll be yawning all day tomorrow in math.”

Y/N smacked his arm a little making him wince a bit, which just made her laugh, “Go on then. Try to take a shower and ice your bruises. And next time you beat up my ex-boyfriend, call me so I can take a swing at him too.”

Tsukishima smirked and nodded, heading to the front door and slipping his shoes on. 

“Hey Tsukishima?”

He glanced back at her, surprised to find the nervous look on her face. She shifted on her feet for a moment before reaching up and pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek, “I mean it. Thank you.”

Tsukishima burst into a fit of stammers, insisting that it wasn’t that big of a deal and she shouldn’t make it into one, but his cheeks were glowing red while he waved it away.

The next day at school, Y/N couldn’t help but smirk when her eyes landed on her black-eyed and scuffed up ex-boyfriend. For a string bean, apparently Tsukishima was pretty good at landing punches. Maybe it was the snarky expression on her face, or maybe it was just because she had walked by, but before Y/N could rush past him, her ex-boyfriend stepped in front of her, glowering down at her. 

“Get out of my way, asshole,” Y/N huffed, stepping back slightly.

“You know, I always knew there was something going on with you and Four Eyes,” her ex told her in a low voice, arms crossed in front of his chest. “I should’ve known you were cheating on me.”

“Right, I cheated on you and then broke up with you for cheating on me,” Y/N raised an eyebrow up at him. “Get lost, idiot. I don’t have time for you.”

“You’re saying you weren’t seeing him behind my back? That it’s not suspicious that you two immediately started going out after we broke up?” His voice was raising, causing all the students nearby to glance in their direction, whispers filling the space around them.

“We aren’t going out,” Tsukishima’s voice thudded into the air, his heavy arm flopping onto Y/N’s shoulders. He patted her head gently as he gave her a simple smile before turning his glare onto the dude in front of him. “I didn’t ask her out when you two broke up. But if she’ll have me, I can do it here and now in front of you?” 

The offer stunned everyone around them, even the whispering bunches of teens who had come around to see if these two bruised and beaten up boys would end up fighting again. Y/N looked up at Tsukishima with wide eyes, heart palpitating against her chest.

“I knew you liked her,” her ex scoffed. “Too bad she’s too good for you.”

“Well if she settled for the likes of you, I must have a pretty decent shot. I might not be the best boyfriend material, but at least I know not to talk shit about a girl like Y/N,” Tsukishima snapped back. His eyes finally met Y/N’s and she had to wonder for a moment if he was being serious or just saying this to show up the asshole in front of them. 

“There’s no way she would go out with you-” the asshole glared at the two of them.

“Yes,” Y/N breathed out softly, both Asshole and Tsukishima’s eyes falling on her. “Ask me.”

Tsukshima’s usually scowling lips turned into a smile, patting her head and ruffling up her hair slightly, “Go out with me.”

Y/N nodded with a smile, still searching his eyes for any sign that this was a genuine interaction. 

“Finally,” Yamaguchi huffed from behind the two of them, grinning widely as they all turned to look at him. “The two of you look good together. Now hurry up, we’re going to be late to class.”

Tsukishima grabbed Y/N’s hand before she or her ex could say anything, pulling her ahead as they followed Yams to class.

“W-Wait, Tsukishima,” Y/N stopped in her tracks as they got outside of the classroom, Yams already heading in.

“What?”

Y/N watched him carefully, still unsure of his intentions. “Thank you, for helping me out back there but...”

Tsukishima’s eyes darkened for a moment, like he was coming to some sort of realization, “If it was just a ploy to you, it’s fine. We can just say it was to get him off your back, that’s fine.”

She grabbed his arm as he started to move away, frowning as she looked up at him, “N-No, that’s... I just wanted to know if you... if you meant it.”

As his eyes met hers again, he tilted his head slightly, “Meant what?”

Y/N sighed, knowing they were going to end up going back and forth on this topic if she wasn’t straight up wit him. “Did... Did you really want to ask me out?”

He gave a smirk and Y/N’s heart started to fall - so it had been a joke this whole time then. “Obviously I wanted to ask you out. I’ve been wanting to for weeks now. Did you think I would just ask you out for no reason?”

Y/N wanted to point out that he could have just asked her out to humiliate her ex but seemed to catch onto this and just laughed. “If you think I’d actually fight a guy for just anyone, you’re stupider than I thought.”

She pouted in return, hitting his chest in defiance, “Hey!”

Tsukishima laughed and flicked her forehead, smirking down at her, “Go out with me. Seriously this time.”

Y/N glared playfully at him, pushing at his chest a little, “Fine. But you’ve got to be a bit nicer to me.”

“I took punches to the face for you, how much nicer can I get?” Tsukishima scoffed but bent down and kissed her nose gently. “Now hurry up, we’re late now, idiot.”

Y/N couldn’t help but feel like everyone was watching them as Tsukishima interlaced their fingers together and pulled her into class, dropping her off at her seat and giving her a cheeky wink, before taking his next to Yamaguchi. 

She glanced at him every few seconds in class, pinching herself each time he would catch her eye and give her a small smile, wondering if her dreams had really come true. Had the guy she had fallen head over heels for really just asked her out?

Yes. And surprisingly, it was all thanks to her piece of shit ex boyfriend and a bloody nose.

haikyuu masterlist (let me know if you’d like to join!)

@al0ehas​ @aurumk​ @neko-chii1​ @thisnoodlewritesao3​ @satan-ruler-of-hells​ @trashy-simp​ @jeppiet​ @tobi-momo​ @darkvadeeer​ @haikyuutothetop​ @livy384​ @babyshoyo​ @jesssobs​ @b-bakana​

[modx-reborn]

There's one idea in my head and i just... you know... 👉👈 Imagine: Simpbur being simpbur, anonymously sending reader, who's his housemate, all that messages, like "I can make you feel good", "I'll fuck you like you deserve to be fucked", described what he will do and etc. Reader, obviously tired of this shit but kinda interested, finded out who wrote all this messages. So they walk in his room, plus points if they open door really hard and scared the living shit out of him, seat on his bed and be like: "Okay, I'm ready. Do it. Show me what you can do. Come on.". Simpbur nervous, we fuckin scared him and plus all thise messages was probably a rant and he in reality really shy and can't even undo buttons on our blouse. He is that type of virgins who will tell everyone that he fucked three model last night and they was so impressed by his giant cock that they are messaging him all day long, asking for one more night. TELL ME I'M WRONG, I'M NOT GONNA BELIEVE YOU EVEN IF YOU HAVE ANY PROVE. Soooo Reader, after seeing his as red as tomato face, guided him how to sex. We become his sex teacher and he promised that in future he will do all those things that he said. I just, you know, want to share with someone my knowledge and practice that, help them find what they like and dislike, have a good boy/girl/person, you know? 👉👈 - Sincerely, 🐢

Oh, I get what you're on about 🐢, I certainly do.

You were stranger to people blowing up your phone, or well you weren't until a new number popped up one day, clearly a wrong number if the filth written in the text was anything to go by but when you tell them as such they deny it, adamant that they had the right number and that you were the right person. You deleted the convo hoping that they would double-check the number and see it was wrong only the next day you got another message from the same number, filled with the same longing filth as the last.

Any other person would have blocked and deleted the number but not you, no something in the back of your mind wanted to see just how badly this stranger wanted the person he thought belonged to this number, after all, they never used a name just said 'you' or 'your' never a name as if they didn't need it or something.

It's not long after the number starts to text you more and more filthy messages full of want and desires that you see some familiar patterns and habits in their texts, it's right at the tip of your tongue the name of the person that has these habits and yet your mind won't remember who. Soon you show it to your shut-in roommate hoping that they might be able to remember how types the word colour wrong, and never forget a period at the end of a sentence, only he is not much help only flushing and shooing you away when you show him the messages.

Only a few days later you connect the dots and remember the name, your own roommate being the one your mind supplies, sure he was a shut-in but the things he was typing out made him seem to know so much, and what were you to do now that you knew. It had been weeks of these messages and tidbits filling your phone, and so one day after another one of the texts filtering through your messages you make a decision slamming open his door and waltzing in to drape yourself across his bed.

Ignoring how he jumps dropping his phone in the process, you stretch out a hand and look at him gesturing for him to come closer as you talk, telling him you want what he has been offering, that you want him to do as he pleases and that he no longer needs to send those messages as you are here to make them more real than just words on either of your screens.

Only when you do bring your knowledge to him, giving him free roam to do as he liked, to live out those messages he freezes, eyes wide and cheeks flushed at the idea of doing anything with you. Watching this confirms something in your mind, he knows nothing about what he is doing, having him clamber over to you and fumble with the button and zip to your jeans, stuttering out an apology to you when it takes him three tries to get the button to open.

Taking his hands in your own you switch the position, pressing him under you as you straddle him, bringing one of his hands up to kiss at his palm before planting a string of kisses down his arms and up his neck teasing him with a brush of your lips against his, loving how he whines at the brief feeling.

"Oh, honey look at you, all red and flushed under me. So much filth in your texts but you barely know how to open my jeans let alone fuck me, ain't that right? But that's okay, I'll teach you. Let you bring all those fucking nasty texts to life, will have you able to fuck my face like you want to in no time..."