#I’ll be back tomorrow HAHA
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Now that byler Week is over—
I’m gonna pass out for the day
Hope everyone had fun this week <333
#I’ll be back tomorrow HAHA#running an event is a lot of work but I’m glad we did it :’D#I’ll lurk and rb tho#and probably do some tag games I was tagged in#and reply to stuff-
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tomorrow
#by the way i’m not here. i just scheduled this to post today#probably won’t be back until some point after episode seven comes out.#so i’ll be off doing something Personal Related until then! for now enjoy this tasty piece because that sure is angst#murder drones#murder drones n#n murder drones#serial designation n#tw eye contact#tw eyestrain#potentially???#also yeah no. this piece is literally named ‘tomorrow’#yes i was listening to guilty by al bowlly while i drew this. did the fact this piece uses lyrics from it make it obvious or#haha i’m scared actually#zeisty’s heavy hitters
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made a wholeeee smorgasbord of random foods and had a nice lil dinner with my niece. Let my indoor cat run around in the snow (she hated it)….I also ran around a bit….
#I have this intense need to take a very specific video in the cemetery of my favorite statue#and woke up to snow and by the time we got there it turned to grosssss ass rain#then it started crazy snowing of course after the sunset#got snowed in and went in to look and play guitars haha#it'll probably be gone tomorrow but someday i’ll get my snowy pics AND video hopefully#has to be snowing actively it's a very specific artistic urge ok#I have this rly neat motorized tripod gadget that my dad got me a while ago you can get the most incredible videos especially moving around#after my cemetery snow adventure I'm all set where's spring#my friends sending me palm trees and beautiful weather snaps and I'm sending back blizzard pics#made her gay very californian brother audibly gasp lol#it’s so pretty though I love the first few snows#I wish I wasn't scared of going into the cemetery at night like I would but l'd need a group of ppl to go with#my angel statue in there all snowy right now and I can't get to her 😠#it’s not even that far away too#need to get to mount auburn someday during snow tried that last year but barely got any#the roads are so bad though now I just drove my niece to her boyfriends up and down steep hills too#my car handles it well though compared to my old one holy shit idk how I survived winters#I'm about to be a plow driver because they genuinely suck so bad I could do better#pay meeeee
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Hi! I want to apologize for being MIA^^ I’m in a pretty tough spot in terms of being able to write, mostly because I have no place to; literally…
My laptop seems to be gone for good, technically it can still be fixed but the components needed just don’t seem to be available;; My phone (second choice for writing) is getting older and it has no storage, I’m currently writing in notes but that means I have no access to Google Docs (where I mainly write) since I had to delete the app because it wouldn’t allow me to use most functions without a damn pop up telling me the app needed space to work. I’m currently sharing a laptop with my younger sister but I don’t have access to it much because she hogs it almost everyday until late into the night and by then it’s too late (TT) I have my tablet and I’m trying to get used to writing on there but it’s really awkward^^ I’m working on commissions, requests, and other things – it’s just that I physically am limited to how much I can do.
That and studying and helping out in the house (eldest daughter duties) and seasonal depression have been kicking my ass;; I hate to come here with a thousand and one excuses but I’m doing best (TT) I haven’t forgotten the account or anything, I’m just getting my ass beat IRL by… everything (TT(
#๋࣭. priestess preaches#i feel awful#tomorrow i’ll see if i can steal the laptop back and binge write#i’m sick and in bed rn so i can’t do much other than lay in bed watch esports and cry mdmddi#life is great guys <- not lying at all soooo truthful rn hahahahaha… haha… 😐
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so i was thinking about shigegou again [794 dead, 93829 injured]
#taylor.txt#remember like a month ago when i said id update entanglement tomorrow#in my defence i thought the chapter was finished by i actually just never wrote the ending. and for a reason. im still stumped#anyway ive been really into gf and its been good for me to take a break from pokemon but once i get into the swing of the school year i’ll#get back to it im just you know. drowning in new job anxiety and everything#also idk if i ever mentioned my ongoing cockroach infestation but thats been a thing for most of the year and yeah#this weekend im taking myself snd my cat to a friends place so that they can treat my whole unit again#im so desensitized at this point but i think theyve been really sapping my energy just like. in general will to live and exist kinds of ways#im like the spongebob meme of the guy looking at the toilet like oh thats blank. every day. with cockroaches#this has nothing to do with shigegou but if anyone has the right to clog the tag with life musings its me i think#haha just kidding. theyre so allergic to feelings in all my fics it took them like 100k words to kiss
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hewwo :3
I have gotten my drains out and have been putting so much aquafor on haha but I feel so goooooodddd like I’m tired all the time still but I’m just so happy this is awesome
#top surgery#like wow got surgery this past Monday and by today I feel great#I stopped all pain meds Wednesday night and have been given the clear to try and get a good range of motion back#I look really really good in the mirror#my bruises are fading nicely and the nipple care scares me but I’ll be able to shower normally tomorrow#but I just feel so damn happy#haha I didn’t realize like how much tbh my chest was affecting me#like let’s goooooo
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I hope you have a wonderful day
Ahhh thank youuuu!! You as well! (ノ´ヮ´)ノ*:・゚✧
#just got back from work chejfbjs#but it was a decent day!#I’ll get to more asks tomorrow when my head isn’t killing me haha#asks
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oh my gosh i keep forgetting it’s already halloween for some people
#happy hall of ween guys…#i dont have any art or candy i am busy cramming for a quiz and apps#i just submitted my first college app today!!! very relieved but also dreading when the decision comes back haha#october has not been kind to me. not that it ever is but#i’ll try to enjoy tomorrow (and maybe post some costume pics 👀)
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“Thank you for your patience and grace with this situation!” It’s not like I have a fucking choice after paying you fucks a few thousand dollars to live here fulltime.
#ra speaks#personal#the bathroom sinks will be out for two days -> I can cope. brush teeth in shower method. hand sanitizer provided is gross but no sweat.#haha actually the showers on your floor specifically will also be closed at 8 AM tomorrow until sometime Wednesday -> I am shooting lasers#I’m autistic you can’t do this to me I have to reorganize my routine I’m a morning shower-er#ok ok let me think through my routine#workout tomorrow morning -> shower AND bush teeth before 8 AM. pog can do.#in the afternoon….when I like to do another shower just to rinse off the Outside….#maybe I’ll be brave enough to go to the gender neutral showers upstairs but#it’s more likely I’ll just wait until the next morning and use them then bc then NO ONE should be up/etc.#and I won’t workout early that morning bc it’s stretch day and I can do that before bed#WAIT FUCK ITS SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE MID 80s TOMORROW ARE YOU SHITTING ME#HOTTEST DAY OF THE WEEK FREAK TEMPS BEFORE PLUNGING BACK TO THE 40s AND THE FUCKIN SHOWERS GONNA BE OUT#FOR MY AFTERNOON COLD SHOWER???? KILLING YOU WITH A ROCK#I am. coping. like. an. adult. goodnight.
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jesus christ I feel like shit
#thank god for testosterone making me unable to cry like a normal person because I sure would be otherwise#im as close as I can get to it pretty much#cant wait for my mom to get back today or tomorrow and ask me when I start the new job and I’ll just have to say oh yeah :) they never#called back actually :) haha#I know they made it sound close to certain but lol guess not!#kibumblabs#i fucking hate this I hate getting invested in anything and putting in time and effort into shit just to get fucking spat on#just emailed the general hotel email but I doubt that’ll do anything. anything good anyway#cause the restaraunt/club is managed seperately I’ll probably just get the runaround or a ‘I’ll let her know you contacted us’ which#literally never actually means anything#either that or I’ll just be rejected indirectly which won’t exactly make me feel. better#I also applied for the 8000th time to another place for a similar job but I’ve never had luck with this place so that’ll probably also#result in nothing#woohoo it’s fucking September and we’re still stuck at fucking square one! hahaahaahahahaah SO cool#for real it should actually be a fucking legal requirement to give your applicants/interviewees some form of follow-up. it’s just so#fucking degrading to try and follow-up and just being ghosted. like what’s the point of that#it feels simultaneously like rejection and being strung along at the same time. i talked to you in person the least you could do is give#me any kind of update. for the love of god
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Haha
Okay then 👍
#🌸mod flower#I’ll unpack all that… tomorrow#I AM making Perrin let me sleep in her tent I am NOT going back to the center at this time#more new Pokémon I can’t handle. haha. yay. /sarcasm#pokemon irl#real pokemon#rotomblr
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#ok sorry for all these posts but i’m trying to take my own advice and not just keep everything in rn#tw that i’ll tag separately at the end but: mental health bipolar addiction vague mentions of sui attempts and just general negativity sorry#hearing that he struggled with manic/low episodes too on top of addiction (etc) is just so fucking. !!!!!!!!!#as someone with bipolar 2 and a recovering addict this just keeps hitting harder and harder and i think about all the times i was manic#and was lucky enough to get help that kept me here on this earth#and it’s so fucking upsetting that even all the money in the world can only get you so far w these things. our world is not set up to help#its set up to make these struggles even harder than they already are and just. fuck#i won’t lie it makes me scared knowing that grief often triggers some sort of episode for me too and now i’m at my parents place w all these#photos of my dad on the walls and i’m in the same rooms that i fell in love w 1d in#i’m so fucking sick of people dying for basically the same fucking shit#most of my friends who OD’d or took their lives also had bipolar and addiction and i’m just like#what is it even gonna take for things to change#dealing w the inevitability of death is one thing but all these young ppl going thru their own versions of the same shit and nothing changes#it gets harder and harder each year and i can only hope that nobody else ik including myself won’t suffer the same fate here#but how am i supposed to hold onto that hope when it just. keeps. happening#i feel so weird making this post publicly bc ik it’s pessimistic and negative but my heart fucking hurts for so many reasons#and i wish i was home rn. i’m honestly tempted to just go back tomorrow like how tf am i supposed to deal w this and keep it to myself#rraahhhhhhhhhHHHHHHH#i can’t stop crying haha#rowyn rambles#tw mental health#tw sui ideation#tw addiction#tw death#tw overdose
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very Twilight (2008) of you
#was taking a walk and crazy fog rolled in so went to see it in the woods#wish I had my camera#that part of the winding roads with a big lake next to it is so sketchy looking in the fog I love it everytime#I have so many fog pics in that exact stupid spot because it’s amazing#really dangerous though but 🥲#that areas so fuckin sketchy baseline that I’ll take it#fight for my life everytime I go in there#thinking back to all the nights star watching in there never agaiiiin!! miss that era tho but somewhere safer haha#given over ten years of love to this spot though I deserve to go there and not perish damnet#still love u#so excited for 60° weather tomorrow even if it’s gross raining idc need to see the loml (the sea)#and favorite walk spot#I hate a damn umbrella though#mine
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first it was the boiling hot weather, now my ovaries are trying to rip me to pieces. When will the stars align and finally let me write here.
#・ ˖ ✦ ⋄ . AUTHOR OF THE STARS ❝ ooc. ❞#I’ve just been lurking here for the morning bcause haha my guts is in so much pain 👍#I’m just here enjoying watching dash shenanigans todayyy#maybe tomorrow if I feel better I’ll be back
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Hey friends is it normal to want to cry when reading a speech from 1885 against colonisation, because now I’m really emotional about how humans can be so horrible sometimes, or am I just really sleep deprived? (Didn’t get a night of over 6 hours of sleep since last weekend)
#although the sleep deprivation is my own fault for doing 0 work during the holidays#and scrolling tumblr every night when I should really go to sleep#but I miss this site so much during the day :(#I need my daily dose of tumblr shenanigans#that being said I’m genuinely on the verge of tears right now so I think I’m gonna take it easy tonight lmao#good thing this was my only homework due tomorrow#I’ll do the rest this weekend since it’s all for next week lol#hoping to get back into the right rythm then because at this rate I will not last 7 weeks💀#anyway I’m rambling but it’s fun haha#if you read this far I hope you have/had a lovely day/night!#even if you didn’t read this far tbh but if that’s the case then you won’t know lol
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Oh yeah. It’s all coming together.
#personal#need more supplies but I’ll start cutting squares tomorrow#I’m doing it make-as-you-go#with each square essentially being its own tiny quilt#with batting in it#and then stitched together in a grid#and I am hand sewing 99 of them#lol check back in next year when I finish this haha
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