#I’d write the play myself but I DONT HAVE A PENCIL

[anti-gravity-insanity]

Everyone feel very bad for me, I was in possession of the world’s ugliest (most beautiful) mechanical pencil for approximately 3 glorious weeks before my whole pencil case decided to fall out of the van I think it’s somewhere near Carlsbad caverns and I will miss him forever

[angelst4re]

ommmmmmmmg queen 🫶 hoping obviously that you’re okay

just wanted to tell you that your imagine with jamie being a dad is amazing and so cutieeeee

we definitely neeeeeeeds more more of daddy jamie imagines from you !!!! i dont know how you write so great it’s actually insane and amazing 🤩 just wanted to tell you that because you deserve an applause

just saw what jamie posts on twitter about him being sober maybe you could write something with his sobering being encouraged by his children and him talking about that on an interview

or like you could do one where he responds to 75 questions from vogue in his house while he holds one of his twins who fell asleep in his arm ( i just saw cardi b one when she’s holding kulture and it was hella cute that’s why i was inspired ) and his house with reader is just so bohemian and colourful and there are so many toys ! we love a messy organized/clean house not like those celebrity museum 😭

thank u take care of yourself and your happiness

Hi my love!! This was so sweet omg!! I absolutely loved the idea of the vogue questions because I love watching them!! I had a perfect vision of what it would be like, I hope you like it, love! <33

73 Questions with Jamie Campbell Bower

warnings: none!

note: this was so cute i loved writing this!! and i'll 100% be giving you all more dad jamie content!! <3

Knock! Knock! Knock! 

“Jamie Campbell Bower,”

“Hello! I’ve just got this one to sleep, I do apologise!” Says Jamie, motioning to the infant who was asleep on his shoulder.

“Ah! Is that Charlie?”

“Yes it is, come in! Sorry about the mess, me and y/n have just been so busy. We’ve just got back from a trip to France and the twins have had so much energy it’s unreal!” Jamie says, trying his best to keep his voice down. 

“Well I’m here to ask you 73 questions, should we get started?”

“Yes, let’s do this!” Jamie grins. 

If the camera was to show the entire living room, everyone would’ve seen piles of toys and boxes and paper and pencils everywhere! It was very clear that there were children living here, it made Jamie feel a bit embarrassed for not having tidied up before, but his plan was just to stay in one corner of this room and then move to the kitchen. 

The room was open, and other than all the toys, it was beautifully decorated. There were hanging plants, a couple paintings hanging on the wall and some framed photos on top of the fireplace which appeared to be hidden. The khaki sofa had cushions scattered over it and fairy lights hung up on the wall above it, and a little mark which made it look like one of the kids had drawn on the wall. 

“So your house looks amazing! How do you work around it looking stylish and still child-friendly?” 

“Uhh… We don’t!” Jamie laughed, “the twins have sort of taken over, we’ve somehow replaced our cactus with a dollhouse and we’ve hid the fireplace with the sofa!” 

“Well, it still looks astonishing! How’s fatherhood been treating you?” 

“It’s great, honestly. I learn new things everyday, it’s made me learn more about myself as a person and I’ve become a lot more grateful towards my parents.”

“What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned from having children?” 

“The biggest lesson I’ve learnt… is to expect the unexpected!”

“What’s the most unexpected thing that has happened with the twins?” 

“I can’t think of one from the top of my head! There’s been so many, but y’know, they’ve all been good things! Nothing terrible!” Jamie said with a smile, sitting down on the sofa, Charlie still asleep as he laid him down. 

“What’s the most underrated part of parenthood?” 

“Umm, I’d say the most underrated part of parenthood… is that you always have someone to play with, or hangout with. I’m never lonely anymore!”

As another question was being asked, Belle came running in from the kitchen, she reached her arms out for Jamie to pick her up so she could sit next to him. 

“And this is Belle?” 

“Yes, this is! Belle, do you want to say hello?”

“Hello!” The child babbles, before becoming shy and hiding her face in Jamie’s arm. 

“Darling, why don’t we go and find mummy? I’ve got something really important to do, I promise I’ll play after, okay?”

She nods her head, Jamie apologises to the camera and he carries his daughter out to the garden, where y/n was hanging laundry out. 

“Okay," Jamie sighs as he sits back down, "should we start over?”

[mashiraostail]

please momnight conent? Like student reader is upset/struggling with the material and goes to her for help or something literally please momnight im begging u

omg u do not have to beg kind anon i am happy to write momnight

“I’m sorry I feel really stupid..” You scrub at your face sitting in front of your teacher, she’s crouched down to eye level, one arm draped across your desk. “I just don’t understand this part at all..” You set your pencil down to use both hands, scrubbing at both of your eyes now.  “Hey come on, don’t say that!” Nemuri squeezes your wrist, “you’ll hurt yourself, just try reading it over again, sometimes that’s all it takes to get it to click.”  “I’m wasting your time, you have way more important things to be doing.” You mutter, “I’m sorry Midnight I think I’m a lost cause.” She lets out a loud gasp at that.  “Don’t say that sort of thing! NO way are you a lost cause!” She closes the book between you, “look at me.”  “I’m embarrassed. I know I’m strong but when it comes to bookish stuff I’m totally useless. You must think I’m an absolute moron-”  “No, I think Present Mic is a total moron.” She rests her chin in her hand as you finally look at her, chuckling to yourself over her jab at your English teacher.  “There we go. A little smile helps you feel much better huh?” She nudges your calf underneath the desk, you nod meekly.  “And anyways... I don’t think you’re a moron, I think you’re a kid. A student with a lot to learn. But you’re learning, even if its hard. Honestly, that's commendable, if this doesn’t come naturally to you putting in all the work to still do well is admirable, you don’t have to be the best you just have to do your best.”  “But I-” “No buts.” She frowns, “don’t talk back to your teacher.”  “Ow did you just pinch me- stop!” You pull your legs up into your chair as her attack on your leg continues.  “No one is good at everything. And yes I mean no one. Not a single person.”  “Well... what about All Might?” As soon as you finish she’s rolling her eyes. “He can’t even make a cup of coffee, and he’s never sent me a text that doesn’t have some sort of spelling error.”  “Principal Nezu?”  “He’s not a person he doesn’t count.”  You snort at that and rest your chin against your bent knees. “Well what about you? It sure seems like your good at everything...” You hug your legs to your chest and she pricks up a bit as you continue, “I just wanna be like you. You’re strong and smart and everyone likes you and you’re reliable and even if people underestimate you you always prove them wrong, even when you aren’t in the spotlight you’re doing the most to help...I... I wanna be like that, I wanna be just like you Miss Kayama.”  “Oh god I...I think I’m gonna cry.” She sucks in a deep breath. “What? Why would you do that dont-! Don’t cry!” You fumble as she sits back on her haunches.  “Well then don’t be such a little cherub!” She argues and then sighs, “look, I’ll be honest with you okay?” She reaches out and takes your hand, “it’s a really long time coming. Three years is a lot longer than it seems, and you’ve got a lot to learn. But you’re right, you are strong, and you are smart, smarter than you think.” She promises as she rests her chin on your desk, “even by coming to me for help you’ve proven how much you want this, how much you care about getting to your destination and..you know between you and I..you really do remind me of myself when I was your age.” She sighs wistfully and you grin at her, “yes you do, we’re practically spitting images of each other.”  “Shut up Midnight.” You chortle, unfolding your legs. “Ouch! What happened to Miss Kayama?!”” She pouts, picking her head up, “I’ll report you for insubordinance.”  “No you won’t.” You cheese at her and she shrugs, waving her hand.  “Ehhhh, yeah I guess you’re right. I won’t. especially not after you said you think I’m perfect.”  “Well are you or aren’t you?”  “Hm...I’d like to think I am.” She taps her bottom lip with her free hand and you snort, “though Mic says I have a terrible music taste, and Eraser says my sense of humor is shot...once Vlad told me I’m the worst driver he’s ever had the displeasure of accompanying on a grocery run, All Might says I’ve got one of the messiest cars he’s ever seen...oh Hound Dog also told me once that I make the worst cup of coffee on the planet and Cementoss agreed with him. But those are just opinions and they’re subjective so I’m...subjecting them to the trash.”  “I don’t think that’s how constructive criticism is meant to work.” You grin at the thought of her fellow teachers digging into her though.  “Ehhh..you say tomato..” She waves it off and then piques, “now I’ve got a question.” “if it’s about this material then sorry because I’m really shot for-”  “No, no. You really want to be like me?”  You flush, you can feel it in your ears, you murmur, “...yes...”  “I’m sorry I couldn’t hear you-”  “Yes!” You shout it a little louder than intended but she’s just laughing. “Really? Me?” I didn’t think I was exactly childhood role-model material.”  “That’s why I liked you..” You pluck at the fabric of your shirt, “everyone always wrote you off, but you always came through in the end, you always proved you were a lot more than your branding. I thought it was cool...that you didn’t try to be one dimensional, that you could be pretty and strong and smart.” You look up at her, “everyone likes you, everyone relies on you. I want to be that sort of strong. Forget picking up cars, forget punching in villains..I want people to need me like they need you. Like I need you.”  “Wow, I’m really gonna cry.”  “I told you don’t cry!” You snap, “you’re embarrassing me.” You cross your arms and she gasps. “You’re the one who went on the wild tangent!” Her laughter fizzles out and she stands, “come on.” She offers you a hand, “I think you get to call it for the afternoon, you’re probably the last student left here.”  You let her pull you out of your seat, she wraps an arm around you and squeezes you into her side, “how about an extra day to work on the assignment?”  “Are you playing favorites?” You ask her wearily.  “No. If someone else needs an extra day all they need to do is ask.” She hums, “try rereading the chapter tonight, and writing a summary of it. Give that to me tomorrow and I’ll let you know if you’re on the right track.”  “What if I’m not?” You gnaw at your lip nervously. “That’s what I’m here for, duh. Now let me walk you back to the dorms.” 

[lilyharvord]

what about surprise visits to each other when mare and cal were both bouncing between places

Okay, no one hate me, but I just... just hear me out.

Cal is normally super busy when he goes to the States, because he's picking up as much work as possible, trying to stay connected with the government and help continue to push it in the right direction. He'd never run for a position on the People's Council (because that might give... too much of the wrong impression) but very quickly he climbs the ranks back to general (cause why would he stay an officer for long? He's a military genius and everyone knows it) and he has a diplomate's job bridging Montfort and the State AND he handles stuff internally with the States. The man's got a lot on his plate... so someone working with him hands off one of her secretaries, like here, take her I dont need her and you obviously do.

Now, we all know Cal is attractive yada yada yada, he's a young dude, who is good at talking to people and of course if he smiles are you you're done for. That poor little secretary didn't even know what hit her the first day she walked into his office. Now, she doesn't know the ins and outs of his personal life, and she has.... sort of been living under a rock. She only knows that there is someone, some girl who comes by that everyone talks about. But she's never seen this girl, so who knows if Cal's actually seeing her? But I digress, the girl is up to her ears in love before she even knows it, and Cal's an oblivious idiot who has no idea because he's running around trying to do as much as possible and she's more than happy to trail around after him like a puppy.

Mare loves to just pop over to the States every so often too. Whether it's a quiet diplomatic job or a military one, she always finds a way to surprise Cal. The first few times she did it, she realized he was waaaaay too busy for what she really wanted to do, but he always is so stressed, so they will normally spend the whole night in his office after she brings dinner working until he's caught up with his work. (It usually means he can pop over to Montfort to visit her whenever he wants). But no one stops her from just strolling into his office because everyone knows who she is and they normally all snicker when she closes and locks that door with a wink.

Anyway, so there's the set up, now for the punchline.

Mare is away at the front for a while, writing letters mostly unable to get away to see Cal even though she's literally right there. During this time, Cal gets the secretary. Mare finally gets the chance to be relieved of duty since the campaign is successful. She jets to Archeon to visit Cal (obviously as a surprise). She gets there, strolls to his office, runs into said secretary and the exchange goes something like this:

Mare: Oh. Hello. *slightly annoyed because this annoyance is blocking her way*

Secretary: I'm sorry, can I help you?

Mare: no, it's all right, I can show myself in.

Secretary: He's actually super busy right now, I can take any message you have to give him. But he's very busy.

At this point, Mare kinda realizes what's going on and River Trash, Stilts Raised, Punch A Bitch in the Face then Ask Questions Mare Barrow comes to the surface ready to throw hands with a snooty, obviously self-important little 20 year old that is 5 inches taller than her. She stands to her full height, narrows her eyes slightly and sniffs, then does a very Evangeline Samos inspired head to toe look of this girl. Before saying: I'm sure he's very busy, but I'm also sure he has more than enough time for me. Move.

Secretary in question obviously does not like being looked up and down like that, and does take her job a tad bit too seriously because she's a puppy in love and thinks that because Cal said thank you with a grateful smile when she handed him a cup of coffee that morning before he went looking for one himself that wedding bells will ring in June. So little prim proper, pencil skirt and blouse wearing secretary lifts her chin, looks down her nose at the girl still in military fatigues that killed a queen and a king, got another king to abdicate, and says: I'm sorry, I don't know who you think you are, but you should leave before I have to call someone to handle you.

At this point, Mare is so shocked and thinks the girl is playing stupid, so she kinda takes a step back and laughs. When the Secretary doesn't laugh, Mare's like: oh my god you're serious. So now she's peeved. This little surprise visit is not going well. SO what does Mare do? The only thing she's good at: take someone's knees out and hit below the belt or where it will hurt the most. So with a laugh, she pins that secretary to the wall with one arm, smirks up at her, and says: I told you to move, but you didn't, so now I have to move you. Then she strolls by heading for Cal's office only stop, snort and look over her shoulder with a sad look and say: By the way, you're not his type.

And that girl, still standing against the wall in shock just huffs and says: OH yeah? And you would know wouldn't you?

Mare's lips curl up in that wicked grin that Cal has identified as the "I will now burn the world down and hold my hands to the flames because I was a little chilly" look and says: Oh I do. Because it's me.

anyway, she gets in his office, he looks up, gets super excited to see her, and she just stands there with her arms crossed and says: I'm afraid you have a broken hearted staff member on your hands. And Cal's super confused, still incredibly happy to see her, and the secretary bursts in, trying to apologize, and Mare just smirks like a cat at her when Cal introduces them and this girl finally puts two and two together. She leaves after that, obviously embaresed and hurt, and Cal finally stops being oblivious long enough to go: oh no. And then starts rambling apologies to Mare and saying that nothing happened, he'd never do that to her. And she just stands there with a raised brow, neutral expression, arms crossed until he's finished and then says: of course you wouldn't. Because you know I'd string you up by your balls and then let my sister, dad, brothers and Farley have their go at you.

Anyway, its funny, they laugh about it. Whenever Cal comes to visit her in Montfort though, and has to handle something, she always sighs in mock annoyance and dramatically says: it's the secretary isn't it? Your mistress? She called you again? And the first time it happens Ruth Barrow almost goes for Cal's throat.

[straykats]

this or that:

cats or dogs?

winter or summer?

school or work?

pen or pencil?

dirt or sand?

movies or tv shows?

ice cream or froyo?

would you rather:

be blind or deaf?

have no legs or no arms?

live your current age forever or live a different age forever?

talk to your past self about something or see what someone elses point of view was on something in the past?

only know one language fluently or know 50+ languages but only at a beginners level?

+ random questions

what apocalypse/zombie apocalypse based movie/tv show do you think you could survive in? (examples: the maze runner, walking dead, black summer, z nation, the 100, attack on titan, etc.)

if you could make one fictional character someone real in your life who would you choose? (could be from a cartoon, tv show, movie, book, etc and if their being portrayed by a real person this is with the assumption that theyll both exist but be two completely different people who very strangely look EXACTLY alike lol)

once again, under the cut for length!! gonna ramble a bit too for each i am so sorry but tyvm

cats > dogs!!!!!!! i do love both but aHHHHHH ive accepted that i am a cat person. its weird but i used to feel pressured into saying im a dog person bc everyone i knew had a dog? and i never really had any contact w cats either so that explains a lil bit but !! KJADVKJDNVJKDNVKJ i want a cat so bad and theres a cat cafe in my city but its a bit car for me rip but im really eager to go at least once!! but cats are scary when u hold them bc they're so.. small.. inside.. like.. their skeleton.. so small... im so scared like they feel so fragile and i know they're capable but still

winter > summer !! i love the rain and i dont love the cold but i hate the heat (esp australian summers) so !!!! like eyah winter sucks when you bave plans but as someone who rarely has plans i am Okay With That. summer is wHACK because you can be in short sleeves and you'll still be so uncomfy like tmi maybe but yknow when u're in shorts or smth and u sit on a chair for too long and u stand up and its like peeling a sticker off tupperwear without the ripping bit??? yeah bruh summer aint it for me

school > work...? maybe? i'm unemployed (im looking but most places are like !!! experience needed !!!! babes im asking u for experience) so idk but i do enjoy learning (without the assessments etc) so??? but work doesnt seem too bad... if you're allowing a "neither" answer, i shall choose that.

pen < pencil. i think. pencils flow smoother? i use pen more because its clearer/easier to see and bc habit and also people dont accept pencil for documents and assignments so yknow. but writing with pencil is more satisfying for me.

dirt or sand? babes (wait i've called u babes a few times im sorry if youre uncomfy w that! if u want, lmk and i'll change it) what is this question i have never ever EVER encountered this question before. but.. i think... sand... i'm thinking of dirt as soil and sand combined so.. just sand..

movies or tv shows? OH MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN uh. depends? somethings are better as a movie and some are tv shows. i think i have more comfort/favourite tv shows as movies so maybe tv shows.. although i /am/ categorising anime and kdramas into tv shows.

ice cream > froyo. i havent had much froyo tbh but from the few times i have, i think i pref. ice cream..

would you rather:

be blind or deaf? blind. i enjoy listening to and find comfort in music way too much. I can also play instruments by ear and learn to adapt to not having sight so! i've grown up surrounded by music too much for me to not be able to have it in my life.

have no legs or no arms? no legs, i think.

live your current age forever or live a different age forever? different age lmaoooo but also i', saying this assuming that living my age forever or living a different age forever comes with the struggles of that age? i'm 19 rn and unemployed and have a few personal things going on and the expectations that are on me are a bit uhhh bc i can't exactly meet all of them so if i had to stay this age with my current experiences, i would rather a different age, one where everything is a bit more organised? but if i can stay 19 forever but still change my circumstances as time progresses then idm that.. so depends on what being a certain age forever means, if that makes sense.

talk to your past self about something or see what someone elses point of view was on something in the past?

only know one language fluently or know 50+ languages but only at a beginners level?

aw man im bilingual and i consider myself pretty fluent in both my languages (eng and viet), but viet im more fluent speaking than reading/writing? if i only knew english fluently (thus not being fluent in viet) i would be really disconnected because speaking viet is such a big part of who i am and my everyday life so its ahhhh... but 50 languages on a basic level...? how basic are we talking..? like conversational basic or like only knowing a few phrases? hm.

+ random questions

what apocalypse/zombie apocalypse based movie/tv show do you think you could survive in? (examples: the maze runner, walking dead, black summer, z nation, the 100, attack on titan, etc.) //// the maze runner maybe but only if we're including the first book/movie and i dont need to go into the maze LMAOOOO i aint got that ya protagonist energy in me. attack on titan... i'm not up to date so i've no idea whats going on in the recent season, but i don't think i could do that. the knowledge of titans on the other side of the wall would make me go bonkers HHAAHA. uhhh i can't think of any other apocalypse mvies/shows etc off the top of my head that i've watched/read so between tmr and aot, i would choose tmr, because at least then i wouldn't be aware of the outside world and i would believe being inside is all i have yknow? like even in aot if i believed that, the titans are too scary. im not saying those spider things in tmr arent scary but idk i'd jsut rather that AHAHA

if you could make one fictional character someone real in your life who would you choose? (could be from a cartoon, tv show, movie, book, etc and if their being portrayed by a real person this is with the assumption that theyll both exist but be two completely different people who very strangely look EXACTLY alike lol) // omg no stop i've like. this question always stresses me out wdym just one i have too many comfort characters ahfbhdbavkdhva BUT alec lightwood! ... as he is portrayed in the book, but with the appearance of matthew daddario. i just.. yeah. alec :(

ty for sending in these questions!!! i enjoyed going through them very much!!

[imanes]

imane, your answer was so helpful and thought out, thank you so much and im glad you were able to do all of this 🥺 i was wondering if you had advice, i had a lot of hobbies planned but after the death of my dog all i do is lie in bed, i dont know where to start, what would you recommend? thank you so much truly for your time and advice

aaaaw baby :-( first of all my condolences for your dog. i understand why all you’d want to do is lie in bed after that to be honest, the death of a pet is a traumatic experience... i cried on and off for about a year myself bc she was my life but she’d be mad at me if she saw me moping since she’d always push me around when she saw me cry so if anything, do it for your baby!

secondly i think it all comes down to breaking down one big task into several manageable steps. my friends made me take a personality test and i’m a strategist lol so whenever i have to start something i don’t think about the finish line, but the one thing that is in my power to do immediately. if you have a lot of hobbies planned, i think it’d be good to list them, and then under each item, write down what resources you’d need for each of them, if you’d need to follow tutorials on youtube or else, if you’d need to get material, how much it would cost, how much time you’d need to invest, etc. once that’s done, take the easiest one to do, the one that requires the least amount of mental investment to pick up, and go for it

for example let’s take my hobbies: reading, drawing/painting and playing an instrument. to read, i need books and time. to draw, i need drawing/painting material, time, tutorials and inspiration (and a space to practice). for the instrument, i’d need the instrument, learn the basic theory of music (solfeggio or else), perhaps sound equipment, and tutorials. so if we follow my plan, reading as a hobby would be the easiest to pick up since i can find books anywhere on the internet and have already a lot of unread books, and i can do it anywhere as long as i have some time. for drawing or painting, i’d have to learn a few things first and i can just start with some paper and a pencil, so it doesn’t have to be fancy. for music, it’s less mobile and it requires a different level of commitment, not because it’ll take more time than any of the other two but because it requires more cognitive engagement on top of the required discipline.

the first step is always the hardest to take but if you do one small thing a little every day, it’ll increase your skills or the amount of time you dedicate to your hobby and it’ll make you feel that if you can do this ONE thing, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to start on this other thing.

one last remark: i’d limit the number of things you might want to pick up or passionate about to three possible hobbies at first because you might be in the case where you want to do everything and it feels overwhelming. i admit that i am often in that position bc i love to learn and do stuff but it’s not manageable. and if it’s still daunting, think of something you NEED to do, like cooking for example bc u do need to feed yourself, and push yourself to try new recipes, new cooking or baking techniques, try out new ingredients, and so on. it starts w/ one small step at a time, and then repeat those steps! i wish u the best of luck :-)

[brightflights]

Dig a little deeper

tagged by my beautiful sloth @severusnpe​ <3333 so much info, took me days to finish a~slaçsa

1. do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen? black pen!

2. would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? the city, but i like visiting the country once in a while.

3. if you could learn a new skill, what would it be? not hating to work lol

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? coffee with sugar, tea with nothing (or sometimes honey)

5. what was your favorite book as a child? the Famous Five collection by Enid Blyton

6. do you prefer baths or showers? i loooove baths, wish i had a bathtub

7. if you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? something nice that flies

8. paper or electronic books? for the aesthetic, paper (the smell and the covers, so precious) but on daily life electronic books are so much more practical

9. what is your favorite item of clothing? pyjamas

10. do you like your name? would you like to change it? i love my name! it’s got cool meanings

11. who is a mentor to you? internet for sure

12. would you like to be famous? if so, what for? maybe after i died. i don’t deal well with too much attention over me. for writing great novels maybe?

13. are you a restless sleeper? sometimes, if i’m anxious (like in the past days). on vacations i sleep like the dead

14. do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? sometimes, but most of the time i’m too practical

15. which element best represents you? i would love to say air but i’m more like fire

16. who do you want to be closer to? my friends. i don’t really open up to people so they don’t know much of me i guess

17. do you miss someone at the moment? my friends and my sister

18. tell us about an early childhood memory. i remember my 3 year old party at school and this little boy that liked me trying to play with me and i was basically telling him to fuck off (sorry dude)

19. what is the strangest thing you have eaten? i love japonese food (at least the brazilian version of it al~skçal) but eating raw fish is always a bit bizarre when i stop to think about it

20. what are you most thankful for? my friends and family

21. do you like spicy food? yesss, but not to the point when the pepper takes over the flavor of it, so only as a complimentary condiment i guess

22. have you ever met someone famous? yes, but i can’t remember who so i guess that person wasn’t THAT famous

23. do you keep a diary or journal? i try to, it helps my mental health, but i mostly remember to write in it when i’m super sad/depressed/anxious

24. do you prefer to use pen or pencil? depends, i use both equally

25. what is your star sign? libra

26. do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? SUPER crunchy. putting the milk on top of it is a crime for me

27. what would you want your legacy to be? just making the world a more decent/happier place

28. do you like reading? What was the last book you read? absolutely, love it. the power of habit, though i prefer fiction

29. how do you show someone you love them? i don’t, cause i’m a cold bitch (jokes, i just play a lot with them)

30. do you like ice in your drinks? not really, i dont like anything too cold/hot

31. what are you afraid of? ghosts and bugs 

32. what is your favorite scent? chocolate, wine and flower scents

33. do you address older people by their name or surname? their name, surname seems so formal

34. if money was not a factor, how would you live your life? reading, watching tv and making gifs all day, with travels around the world every week

35. do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? pools, but only because i think all the sand and salt stuck on your skin is super annoying, cause i love the ocean

36. what would you do if you found $50 in the ground? depends on how i found it. if it was inside a wallet i’d give it back, but if it was just thrown on the street it’s now mine hehe

37. have you ever seen a shooting star? did you make a wish? yes and yes, but can’t remember what

38. what is one thing you would want to teach your children? to not worry so much about what everyone else thinks and just do ya thang

39. if you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? on the arms or my back, and a van gogh painting or a snitch from HP’s quidditch

40. what can you hear now? people being loud on the street and making me pissed because RESPECT QUARANTINE YOU BITCHES

41. where do you feel the safest? hoooome

42. what is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? my shyness/worries about other people’s opinion over me

43. if you could travel back to any era, what would it be? shit, being a woman, that’s tough to choose, but i’d like to visit greece back when they were super strong/cool

44. what is your most used emoji? 👏, but can’t imagine why 

45. describe yourself using one word. anxious

46. what do you regret the most? every time i stopped myself from doing something because i was waiting for a better moment to do it (usually there is no such thing as a perfect moment so just to the damn thing)

47. last movie you saw? castle in the sky

48. last tv show you watched? i’m rewatching ATLA for the 21948590th time 

49. invent a word and its meaning depranxious, the perfect mix between being depressed and anxious as i feel on a daily basis lol

i’ll tag those beautifuls: @patilparvati, @mischiefsmanaged, @fantasticase, @frodo-baggins, @maevewiley, @jodhimay and @girlofathena (this is HUGE so if you don’t feel like answering it, no probs)

[nobie]

tag game!

tagged by @thwippeter thank you honey bunches! 

do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? black pen 

would you prefer to live in the country or the city? the city! the only place i’d live in the country is Puerto Rico, its THE best

if you could learn a new skill, what would it be? how to play the cello i love the way it sounds 

do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? no, only cream

what was your favorite book as a child? actual book with proper words: any judy blume book but superfudge was my fav, picture book: pinkalicious was my jam 

do you prefer baths or showers? showers

if you could be a mythical creature which one would you be? a randler its a squirrel looking creature with deer horns, and wings. 

paper or electronic books? both 

what is your favorite item of clothing? do shoes count, if so shoes, van to be specific 

do you like your name? would you like to change it? I love my name cause its unique to me and has its own story i wouldnt change it for the world 

who is a mentor to you? my 10th grade history teacher, i consider him a best friend and an amazing father figure he’s always looking out for me and he’s taught me more than my actual dad ever could in the four years ive known him. 

would you like to be famous? if so, what for? no not really, id like to be successful in my career and known for things within it but no famous 

are you a restless sleeper? sometimes 

do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? nope i can do nice gestures but im not one to get lovey dovey and in my feelings with just anyone 

which element represents you? air 

who do you want to be closer to? i dont know 

do you miss someone at the moment? yes and everyday until i die 

tell us about you earliest childhood memory? when i was in daycare at maybe 4 they gave us breakfast in the morning and i once poured apple juice into my cereal instead of milk by accident and i was too shy to tell anyone so i just sat there and watched everyone else eat. ( I actually remember this very vividly along with other stories from daycare) 

what is the strangest things you have eaten? i guess alligator meat 

what are most thankful for? my mom 

do you like spicy food? i love it 

have you ever met someone famous? no 

do you keep a diary or journal? no, but i did in 2016 cause i was going through some shit and it helped somewhat 

do you prefer to use pen or pencil? pen 

what is your star sign? gemini 

do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? crunchy 

what would you want your legacy to be? something along the lines of genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, XD im a lot like tony in terms of being self centered but in reality when i get close to someone i will give them my whole life no hesitation, so i guess my legacy would be having a heart. 

do you like reading? what was the last book you read? I love reading, the last book i read was the kenobi novel which was phenomenal

how do you show someone you love them? by being myself 

do you like ice in your drinks? YES

what are you afraid of? my mental illness getting the better of me at all times and i have a very irrational fear of success its weird i know but there is an explanation 

what is your favorite scent? lavender 

do you address older people by their name or surname? it depends really respect or preference towards the person 

if money was not a factor, how would you live your life? completely free and constantly giving money to people who need it 

do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? pool 

what would you do if you found $50 in the ground? give it to someone else

have you ever seen a shooting star? did you make a wish? no 

what is one thing you would want to teach your children? besides a whole bunch of other things, it would be free will, teach them to exercise their personalities and who they want to be. 

if you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? an ‘x’ on my wrist 

what can you hear now? my ac 

where do you feel the safest? puerto rico in our family house, i feel untouchable there its unreal 

what is one things you want to overcome/conquer? college 

if you could travel back at any era, what would it be? civil rights era 

what is your most used emoji? 👏

describe yourself using one word? doting 

what do you regret the most? honestly nothing 

last movie you saw? solo a star wars story i had to give it another chance and actually finish it XD

last tv show you watched? the umbrella academy 

invent a word and its meaning: juncos means home,,, lol thats not a made up word but its a made up meaning soooooo it still counts XD

oh lord i dont know who to tag this took too long XD ummmm

no pressure tags: @fiveshotsofjager @wolffescadet @littlevodika

[sarcasti-cally]

@bokutokoutarou​ omfg i just saw this now hello thank you for tagging me?? i love you so much yes uh i’m a huge WET SIMP (i literally have my username as wetsimp for games n shit its cursed) for iwa, so. yeah- sorry lev. iwa came first 😌

iwaizumi x jazmyn ❤️ ❤️

how we met

i feel like i was just straight up vibing outside of aobajohsai, just roaming around waiting for someone to pick me up???

i hear the squeaky squeaky in the gym and i go 👀 

of course this bitch goes inside, because i’m very C U R I O US. yessir, yessir.

first thing i see. IWA. JUICY HUNK OF A MAN, IWA.

i wouldnt know his name because 1. my memory is shit, and 2. my memory is shit.

you just hear me screaming “YEAHHHH GO NUMBER 4!!! LETS GOOOOO WORK IT!”

after their practice, he’d kinda look at me weird but i think i’d be the first one to ask his name, while at the same time my face is kinda blushy blushy.. i mean my knees would just buckle when i stand up in front of him- i’d kind of regret it (because secretly im so fucking nervous omg), but not really.

even though i seem so extroverted- hell no am i going to ask for his number first- holy shit i’m gonna have to wait for him to give me his, i will literally be so scared of messing up what i have with him because i dont want to lose our little playful arguments we have.

100% whenever i’m with iwaizumi just hanging out in the halls and i see oikawa, i’d definitely just mention how great of a person he is, and that i’m his #1 fan just to make him jealous :)))

i’d definitely annoy him during the classes we have together.. for example: breaking a pencil in half and throwing it at him.. ripping pieces of paper from my notebook and throwing it at him.. eraser shavings.. etc.

while we date

im now a mess.

he teases me because when we first met i was a literally a bully to him, but now he knows EVERYTHING. i cant hide the fact that i actually wanna hug him like my own personal 5′10 teddy bear.

he probably calls me a tsundere (like all my other friends 💀) and i would not stop messing with him for the entire day. i’d probably yell in the halls, “IWAIZUMI HAS A SMALL DICK, I REPEAT, IWAIZUMI HAS A SMALL DICK! ITS A MICROPENIS!” when school is over, you’d catch me BOOKING IT.

i’d spam him weird ass tik toks, cursed images and memes every 5 minutes. probably ask if he wants to exchange thigh pics too.. 😏

YOU’D LITERALLY CATCH ME LACKING PLAYING SIMS AND MAKING HIM AND ME FUCK IN IT AHGHAHFHA 

i already see him telling me to go to sleep when its 4am, and i’d OBVIOUSLY continue to stay up until 8am. whenever he tells me to go to sleep, i’d reply with “make me” just to see what he’ll do.. like pin me against a wall and whisper sweet nothings into my ear

i secretly love it whenever he mentions my height.. (uhithinkihaveasizekinkhelp) because he’s just so.. HOT. i love his arms. his legs. his thighs. his calves. his chest. his face. his ears. his- EVERYTHING

i’d always offer if he wants anything. “do you want me to cook for you?” “do you want me to get you cereal?” “want something to drink?” “want me to get you a blanket?” because i will do ANYTHING for this man. and i’m not even a good cook, so thats saying something.

i’d take his hoodies without him knowing until last minute and he’d just smirk at me.. yknow??? and that smirk will make me die, honestly.

practically forcing him to watch a horror movie with me at a cinema, since he’ll probably mention that i get really scared and cry when i watch them but its ok, because i’ll be holding onto him the entire time!!!

AMUSEMENT PARK DATES. YES. GET ME A BIG TEDDY BEAR. i’m pretty sure he’d repeatedly be saying.. “are you sure you’re tall enough for that ride?”  😶 

no cap i could literally go on and on about iwaizumi so imma just stop myself before i write a whole story about my weird fantasies i have whenever i go to sleep 😇

[loonyloopylisa]

Tag Game: Dig a Little Deeper

i was tagged by @theproblemwithstardust Thank you!

1. do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen? black

2. would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? big city, i visited chicago last summer and never wanted to come home

3. if you could learn a new skill, what would it be? playing an instrument

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? so much sugar

5. what was your favorite book as a child? my mom had to get me a new copy of charlotte's web because i broke the spine from reading it so much.

6. do you prefer baths or showers? showers

7. if you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? dragon

8. paper or electronic books? either

9. what is your favorite item of clothing? my black, ripped, skinny jeans

10. do you like your name? would you like to change it? it’s fine, i don’t really have strong feelings either way

11. who is a mentor to you? pass

12. would you like to be famous? if so, what for? nope, or if i was something super obscure so no one stops me at the grocery store

13. are you a restless sleeper? no

14. do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? not really

15. which element best represents you? earth, maybe?

16. who do you want to be closer to? some people, but i probably just need to put myself out there more and who wants to do that?

17. do you miss someone at the moment? my bff

18. tell us about an early childhood memory. some friends and i would play boxcar children at recess during elementary school

19. what is the strangest thing you have eaten? peanut butter and pickle sandwiches, which is mostly just a strange combination. i’m willing to try most things

20. what are you most thankful for? right now? summertime

21. do you like spicy food? so much

22. have you ever met someone famous? i think i met a racecar driver as a kid. one of the petty’s maybe?

23. do you keep a diary or journal? no

24. do you prefer to use pen or pencil? pencil

25. what is your star sign? aquarius

26. do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? crunchy

27. what would you want your legacy to be? helping people

28. do you like reading? What was the last book you read? i love to read but i don’t always have time. the last book i finished was dress codes for small towns which ended differently than i expected, but i still enjoyed it

29. how do you show someone you love them? listening, i tend to randomly give things to friends of mine that i think they’d like

30. do you like ice in your drinks? only if i have a straw

31. what are you afraid of? staying the same

32. what is your favorite scent? lavender

33. do you address older people by their name or surname? first name

34. if money was not a factor, how would you live your life? travel a lot, maybe have a studio apartment in 2 or 3 countries, probably volunteer or work some, i need some structure in my life

35. do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? swimming in pools bc i dont like sea creatures touching me but i LOVE the ocean

36. what would you do if you found $50 in the ground? if i knew who dropped it, return it, otherwise spend it

37. have you ever seen a shooting star? did you make a wish? i used to watch for them on long car rides but i don’t think i’ve ever seen one

38. what is one thing you would want to teach your children? kindness

39. if you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? i already have three, but i have a couple ideas for more

40. what can you hear now? the tv and the dryer

41. where do you feel the safest? at home

42. what is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? shyness

43. if you could travel back to any era, what would it be? i’d like to visit a lot of times but i don’t think i want to live during another time

44. what is your most used emoji? the laughing crying emoji

45. describe yourself using one word. tired

46. what do you regret the most? not getting into all that here

47. last movie you saw? The Old Guard. i recommend it so much. i watched it last night and almost watched it again tonight

48. last tv show you watched? currently rewatching one day at a time

49. invent a word and its meaning. unenergizated: being too tired for your brain to work

i think i am supposed to tag but i feeling very unenergizated right now.

please consider yourself tagged and let me know when you fill this out

[k-drabblings]

letters to you (pt. 2)

KIM TAEHYUNG (V) X READER Type | Genre: slice of life au | fluff/angst Word Count: 1738 A/N: it’s been hard finding time to update in general but i have a soft spot for this fic! hope you enjoy. 

One

After Taehyung's first visit, we managed to keep in touch until somewhere around early springtime. The Kakao messages got increasingly sparse as he got closer to his mysterious debut date and college examinations loomed over my head as I entered my final year of high school.  The flutters I had felt were long forgotten in lieu of books and essays. 

It wasn't until summer that I was reminded of Taehyung. Auntie Kim came barging into our house bright and early with excited shouts of his debut. 

I was already awake, studying my butt off upstairs in the lovely solitude of my room. 

"He's releasing the album tomorrow! Tomorrow! My Taehyungie is finally debuting!" 

My heart couldn't help but stir a little at his name, as if it was remembering an old habit. I hesitantly reached for my phone, wondering if it would be out of place to send him a congratulatory message.

[07:55AM] To: Taehyung Grats, superstar. It's about time.

To my surprise, the reply came instantly.

[07:55AM] From: Taehyung Dont tell me my mom woke u all up this early to tell u...  [07:55AM] From: Taehyung But thats just like her isnt it [07:56AM] From: Taehyung Goddamn shes embarrassing [07:56AM] From: Taehyung But thx ;)

I smiled, heart skipping a little faster, but I decided to play it cool and leave him hanging. It didn't necessarily warrant a response anyway. 

It was more than two hours later into my reading when my phone buzzed.

[10:13AM] From: Taehyung Im coming home for a few days next month.

[10:13AM] From: Taehyung Excited to see me? ;)

My stomach suddenly twisted into a knot, butterflies I hadn't felt for months threatening to creep back. Goddamn him and his flirty winking emoticons. 

[10:21AM] To: Taehyung Not really 

[10:21AM] To: Taehyung But you can come anyway I guess

I wondered if I had waited an ample enough amount of time to not look so desperately eager to answer him. Childish, I know, but I couldn’t help it.  I returned to my studies with a renewed energy, suddenly feeling empowered by the thought of having something to look forward to.

Taehyung looked so different that it was hard to believe only two seasons had passed since I last saw him. He was the slightest bit less lanky and his hair was dyed blonde. God, who would have thought he'd look so good with Barbie hair? I stared at him in silence for a few moments before giving him an awkward wave.

"Y/N!"

I could have sworn his voice got deeper, but I didn't have time to mull over the thought really as he scooped me into a big embrace. It knocked the wind out of me -- in a good way. "Nice to see you too, Taehyung," I mumbled into his chest. He smelled like laundry with a hint of musk.  It was strange seeing him in shorts and a tee, legs and arms so bare. Had he always been so tan? 

It was our mother's ideas to catch up over lunch, and although my books were practically screaming at me, I decided to be a little careless and enjoy some time with my long lost friend. It seemed like Taehyung always brought out the irresponsible side of me.

"So how've you been?" Taehyung asked expectantly.

I had never been a fan of small talk, but there was no other way to really begin the conversation. "Alright, I guess. Studying mostly. Actually, only studying.."

"Ah, so once I left, you were no longer a genius."

I couldn't help but crack a smile. 

"No boyfriend?" 

"My textbooks are my boyfriends." I sighed, feeling the nervous guilt of ditching my studies gnawing away at me. I was so determined to get top scores, go to one of the top universities in Seoul, and then the world would be my oyster. It was somewhat reckless to be here comfortably chatting the time away with Taehyung.

He smirked. "Wow, what a player. Didn't think you were like that, Y/N." 

I rolled my eyes before a chuckle escaped my lips. "Enough about my boring life. I bet yours has been crazy exciting. With your debut, and... shows... and singing?" It was too obvious I didn't know anything about the idol lifestyle.

"Yes. Shows and singing. Hit the nail right on the head," he joked. There was a brief pause before he sighed. "It's actually more like crazy busy than crazy exciting." I watched his still-beautiful fingers run through his dyed locks. "But yeah on top of shows and singing, it's a lot of promotions right now... We're trying to win Rookie of the Year and just get ourselves more out there... Grow our fanbase, you know?"

He sounded so desperate for a moment that I almost reached out to touch his hand in comfort. I didn't know anything really, but I could tell he worked his ass off every day, and he was hoping more than anything that his efforts would pay off in the end. I could sympathize with that -- we were kind of in the same boat when I thought of it like that, and it was comforting.

"How long are you here for this time?" I asked timidly. 

"Three days." A loud sigh left his lips. "I know, short as fuck." He was biting his lip nervously, eyes wandering for few seconds before landing on mine. "And I know you're probably busy as hell, but couldn't you make some time for your fave Kpop idol?" A cheeky grin broke out onto his face, and I was instantly reminded of the Taehyung I had grown so comfortable with last winter. And just like that, it was so easy to fall back into his trap.

My books were neglected as I spent the next few days with Taehyung. It was like we had fallen back into our old habits -- going to the cafe in the morning, watching I Hear Your Voice or some other drama in the afternoon, and driving to the mountains or downtown in the evening. 

He still took his coffee much too sweet. And with the way he comfortably settled in next to me besides the couch, shoulder to shoulder, it was like nothing had changed. By the second day, it felt like he had never even left.

I loved the drives the most. The skies were clear and starry, and with the wind blowing through my hair, going anywhere felt like an adventure. The scenic view of town from the cliffs was different now that it was summer. It was so green and lush, as if the colors had all become more vibrant now that he was back. The days were longer and warm, so we spent more time outside. He treated me to ice cream every day because he was "now a working man," as he called it. 

"I missed this," he announced with a sigh, laying back into the grass.

"Hm?" I absentmindedly continued to poke around for the cake bits in my ice cream.

"Just chilling around like this. With you."

The last two words were said so nonchalantly, but they resonated so deeply in my silly heart that my entire body tensed up. 

"You're leaving tomorrow, Taehyung." Was I saying it to remind him... or myself?

He rose from his position and gestured towards the car. "It's good though. You need to study anyway." He grinned. "Genius or nerd, whichever you are, I'm sure you still need to get back to your books. The college exams are in a few months, aren't they?" 

I hadn’t known, but he had overheard my mother yelling at me the previous morning for spending all day with him. It hadn't stopped him from distracting me all day today though.

I nodded, swallowing nervously. I didn't want to think about my looming tests and their gravity on my future outlook. With Taehyung, I could enjoy a reprieve from it all. I didn't want him to leave.

"You'll be fine," he murmured softly, hand messily patting my head. "We'll both work hard, and we'll see each other again before we know it."

My eyes were hopeful as I looked up at his golden face. "When's the next time you'll be back?" He wasn't even gone yet, and I was already looking forward to our reunion.

"Hopefully the holidays." His mumbles were laced with uncertainty, and he tried to give me a reassuring smile. "I'll try to keep in touch, Y/N. Much more than last time."

The way he wrapped his arm around my shoulder made me almost believe he would keep his promise.

He didn't. It was only a few days after he returned to Seoul that the texts stopped coming. I wasn't surprised. From what I heard from Auntie Kim, his group was getting ready for their comeback, and I wasn't in a position to chase for replies either. I was frantically catching up with what I missed, but it didn't help that I'd occasionally get distracted by the thoughts of him already forgetting me.

The leaves turned from green to yellow, oranges, and reds before turning brown and withering off. My birthday passed uneventfully with a casual text from Taehyung. I traded in loose shorts for leggings and sweats, and pulled out my winter gear from the back of the closet. Other than my clothes, however, nothing changed much. Day in and day out, my nose was buried in textbooks, my hand deathly sore from writing notes.

It felt unreal when the examination day finally came. I woke up like any other day, but instead of heading to the school library with books in tow, I headed there with only a few last minute notes and a pencil case. Basically every other kid in my year was walking down the streets with me, hearts nervously thumping as we all knew the test we faced would determine our future.

My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I was reminded to turn it off. But at the sight of the familiar name that hadn't graced my screen in months, my heart fluttered.

[08:16AM] From: Taehyung Good luck genius

It was nice to think that he was somewhere in the capital city thinking about me this early in the morning. 

With a happy heart, I powered down my mobile device. Perhaps this exam would be my ticket to Seoul, a little closer to Taehyung.

[baekibi]

Jaehyun | Cherry Tree

Words: 2138

Written: a while ago lol

Pairing: Jaehyun x Reader

Genre: Fluff

➺

It was another of those boring days;

- you know those days where the only source of entertainment is drawing on your hand in black ink and conversing in sign language to your pals over at the other end of the classroom,, one of those days.

This day like any other was not passing very quickly, the heavy atmosphere of stressed and angsty teenagers was unpleasant and the temperature was above boiling, my head felt as if it was melting under the pressure of math.

I prayed the lesson would tick by swiftly, my pencil gripped tightly in my fist, my eyes swaying from the teacher to the clock, teacher to the clock, teacher to the- *brrr, brrr*

crap.

The familiar ring escaped my backpack, the sound whirring around the class making a public humiliation of myself. Eyes grasped shut, i gritted my teeth and bit my lip as silence struck through the whole room, even catching the teacher off guard completely.

I could feel the hundred eyes focused on me at this moment, including those of the piercing glare my teacher produced. "Kim Kyungha". The echo of his voice harpooned in my direction. The fear of opening my eyes now was a level I'd never felt, however I knew it was the only option I could take.

"I-I apologise, s-sir" I stuttered, trembling in my seat, my feet making rhythms as they tapped nervously on the ground below.

"Detention tonight, 5000 sentences." His sharp spoken words cut straight through me.

ugh. Second detention this week because I forgot to turn my phone off.

The first was for being two minutes late; but that was only a short 30 minutes detention now adding another... however long it will take to write that much.

I was used to detentions but never because I was particularly disruptive or a bad student~ usually just due to coincidences like my phone ringing during class or something as small as forgetting that one piece of homework. I usually used the time to continue some extra work which was handy but knowing it was detention seemed to make it more tense.

I reached inside my bag and almost crushed my phone with the rage that slowly brewed in my body, I took a peak at who had called to see it was my best friend Jaehyun.

One thing, he's in the same. Class.

And you know what's coincidental? He. Also. Has. A. Detention. Tonight.

I wanted to scream. I could see his plan from this moment, but the one question in my mind of wether or not I should snitch on him was the only thing that stopped me from letting go of my voice.

Instead I turned my back, where Jaehyun was sitting and sent him a glare of defeat and hurt to which he just giggled.

-

It was finally the end of the day, I walked over to my locker with Jaehyun who's was right next to my own. His arm was now bruised to a purple colour from my fist meeting his flesh at least ten times in the past thirty minutes for what he did during math.

He leant onto his locker next to mine, and faced me with a smirk. I carefully opened my locker, still eyeing on him. Once the door fully opened a few papers which I'd never saw before fell onto the floor below.

"You still haven't found out who's sending you those letters, have you?" He sighed, watching me gather them.

"What they said this time, eh?"

I mumbled to myself, flicking through the scattered sheets in my hand.

"Oh this is a new one" I hold it up to Jaehyun, displaying a really badly drawn kitten holding a piece of paper which read,

"You're perfect n cute n adorable n you mean so much to me. Don't ever let anyone tell you any different bc you're cute and deserve the world. I know you may be sick of these letters but think of it as a spark of confidence and support for your day and the challenges you decide to take. I hope you'll find out who sent you these letters one day and accept me, as I accept you. But for now I'll remain your secret admirer and as long as it doesn't scare you I'm happy to hide behind my messages to you. Have a nice day. Hope we can talk soon. xx"

I read it out clearly, Jaehyun following my finger along the paper as I drew strokes guiding me along each line.

I have to admit, the letters were cute and the badly drawn cat was even cuter. I wouldn't say they creep me out because it has never been anything scary or remarkably insane written on the papers like it's a stalker graphically describing how he or she is going to climb into my window and watch me as they order me to suck to their toes.

...like that would ever happen anyway...

"Well, does it ever weird you out?" He asked, sounding muffled in his tone.

I shook my head quickly, a smile even crossing my face as I recited the words on the note. It was quite encouraging actually.

"Well we got detention now, so hurry idiot" he straight up said beginning to walk, sliding his palms into his tailored trousers. His head turned to me as he walked, gently resting on his shoulder as he hurried me with his glances.

I ran after him willingly.

-

I turned my phone on silent, but not don't disturb so I would still receive calls but instead they'd be a small buzz which the teacher wouldn't be able to hear.

It was just me and Jaehyun in the After school detention which I assumed is why he got me in trouble, so I could join him.

Just after spending approximately ten minutes in the detention classroom, I could feel a vibration at my feet which were leaning against my bag. Whilst the teacher wasn't looking I faked dropping my pen so I had the perfect excuse to bend down to look at my phone.

"Sir, can I please go to the restroom?" I heard the familiar voice of Jaehyuns speak abruptly, raising his hand.

"Sure. But be quick. You have five minutes."

Jaehyun stood and walked passed me, nudging my shoulder as he walked signalling me that he was obviously up to something.

I continued for my phone, noticing a message left by him. He must have did the same thing as me, to get to his phone.

=

Jaebunny

I'll get us out of here ;)

Kyungha

Jae I stg DONT you dare-

Seen ✔

=

I sighed at this moment, whatever Jaehyun was up to, I wasn't looking forward to it.

=

Jaebunny

I'll be back in a minute, sir will be leaving the classroom in a second too, once he leaves I want you to run over to his desk and grab the keys.

Kyungha

Excuse me?

Jaebunny

Sweetie cakes just do as you're told

Seen ✔

=

It had been about a minute since I'd left the chat, just as Jaehyun told me sir took a call and was immediately needed at the heads office.

"Kyungha, I'll have to leave you here alone for five minutes. Don't dare move and wait till I come back." He said as he stood nearing the door.

As he left the door slammed, I sensed whatever Jaehyun did was not good.

I could hear his screams in the hall as I assumed he ran into Jaehyun.

The muffled conversation was only just loud enough for me to make out, it's either this school has incredibly thin walls or Jaehyun is really being screamed at.

However I did what Jaehyun said to do, although my mind was hesitant my body seemed to take control.

I searched his desk and picked up the keys, as if perfect Jaehyun walked in at this exact moment.

"What the heck are you doing?" I shouted at him, to which he quickly shushed me, placing his hand on my lips.

He swiped the keys from my hand and locked the classroom door. Continuing over to the window, as he passed, grabbing my hand to take me with him.

"Come on." He guided me over, opened the window wide enough and edged me to jump out. Throwing the keys at the floor, he insisted I got out first. Luckily the classroom was on the first floor so it wasn't a long drop. For some reason I seemed to obey him. My hands moved on their own, gripping the sides of the window frame and launching myself over quickly followed by Jaehyun who shut the window on his way back.

"Why are we doing this? Can't we just ride out the detention? What did you do? Why has-" the questions flew out of me, making Jaehyun get slightly aggressive. He pushed me to the wall and clasped my mouth completely shut as he pressed his lips onto mine. A moment of silence fell upon us.

He was quick to move after he disconnected his plump flesh from mine. He looked straight into my eyes, I was now heavily breathing, my mouth dropping.

He reconnected his hand to mine and ran quickly in a direction I'd never gone before.

-

"What was that about?" I question out of the blue as we finally stop under a row of cherry blossom trees.

He didn't say a word but rather pinned me gently against the tree and repeated the kiss again, this time going deeper and lasting longer. I was shocked but I didn't want it to stop, something inside me clicked, I wanted this to happen and felt it had to. I began to participate in giving, making the kiss more heated and passionate. I could feel it making him happy as he smiled in between exchanges of tongue. His hands made their way from the tree to my waist, he held me tightly as I began to play with his hair.

But my questions hadn't changed. I was still curious and confused. So I stopped.

His face was now full of shock and disappointment that I had pulled back so soon.

"I still have my questions." I smirked.

"L-look I- I'm sorry something just came over me-" Jaehyun attempted to apologise. As much as I wanted to shut him up and kiss him again I had questions to ask.

"Why?"

"I- I don't know."

"You were the one sending me those letters weren't you?" I smiled, my hands still resting on his shoulders.

He slowly shook his head, now looking embarrassed at the grass beneath us.

I felt something crawl up my back, assuming it was Jaehyuns hand to which I soon found was a spider which had made its way from the tree, to me.

I jumped in shock, almost screaming as it stood on my shoulder. I dead ass karate chop the little shit off my shoulder, and continue by flailing my arms all over to assure it was off of me now.

"You okay?"

I was suddenly snapped back into reality. Remembering what the heck I was doing here and why.

"No. Don't ask me questions."

My statement didn't make any sense, making Jaehyun raise a brow.

"What exactly did you tell the principal?”

I asked, puzzled.

"Remember when He lashed out on our class mate yesterday during our exam?"

I nod. "Yeah and almost broke the poor kids phone?"

"I videoed it and showed it to the principal"

He confessed, now having the biggest grin on his face.

"He deserves it, people like him shouldn't be teaching."

-

We spoke a little more about what was going to happen when they go to school the next week, most likely they'd get even more detentions but at this point they didn't care.

-

"So how was it?" Jaehyun asked as he was about to let me go to my bus stop.

I glance quizzically. "How was what?"

He answered my question by kissing me on the cheek. To which I answered with a shrug.

"I-it wasn't good?" He said, stuttering as if he'd just been heart broken completely.

"I didn't say it was bad. Just next time don't do it after we've just escaped a building and possibly ruined someone's career." I say to which he nods agreeing,

"So... next time? Jaehyun inched.

"Next time. We'll go on a date and you'll kiss me in a proper place and ask me things properly."

"So its a date? Tomorrow. 12am. Be ready. Sweetie cakes." Jaehyun declared, passing me a grin flirtatiously.

I gently slapped his shoulder and continued to my bus stop as he watched. Giggling on the way home, I couldn't stop thinking about what just happened and I assumed neither could he.

➺

oof

Master list

[feitanswife]

How to kinda sorta feel like an adult/exist without someone doing everything for you

*learned entirely from experience and tested by a real person

1. Buy a bundle/container of spinach (high in iron and fiber, the two things I, an otherwise healthy 20 y/o have had random health problems with due to my parents never feeding me anything healthy) put it on/in everything. Breakfast sandwiches, savory dishes, get creative it adds no taste! This goes hand in hand with #2 and 3

2. Buy a blender, learn to love smoothies. Smoothies lie to you about their contents. The one I had this morning? If I hadn’t made it myself I’d have no idea it was 50% spinach leaves and chia seeds. You can’t taste them, it’s trendy for the instagrams, and my digestive system has never been more grateful

3. Half-cook. Buy instant food and put more shit in it. You don’t need to know how to make pasta sauce from scratch, just buy the box, put some chopped up leftover chicken and green stuff in it halfway through the cooking time, suddenly you’ve made an actual meal in 10 minutes. Instant ramen + bag of frozen veggies + random leftover meat cut into chunks = better than my moms homemade soup tbh

4. If you have a dishwasher, small things like tongs, forks, cups that aren’t really that dirty, anything that doesn’t need to pre-soak... never hits the sink. Never. Do not pass go, do not collect 200$, go STRAIGHT to the dishwasher.

5. Ready your coffee maker the night before. After you drink your fill and won’t be using it for the day, fill it up with grounds and water. When you wake up all you have to do is press a single button, no more half-asleep fumbling.

6. Having a candle lit and any music playing in the background will make you feel like 150% more grown up and sophisticated I promise

7. Target’s Opalhouse brand candles are only 7.99 for a pretty big one and they’ve got the most scent payoff of any candle that price I’ve ever seen. I can smell my “island nectar” one across a table, unlit, with the lid on. Red Shed has really good ones too but I have no idea where those ones are sold and they’re a little more expensive.

8. Cauliflower is just dollar store broccoli, it has all the same nutrients just... less of them. But you can mash it up and make discount mashed potatoes which is neat.

9. LAUNDRY!!! Read your laundry labels, write down notable things on a board/paper and put it up by your washer! Mine says things like “hand wash yellow leggings and rose print skirt, suede and velvet things turn inside out before washing, do not under any circumstances wash the wool pencil skirt mom I’m not losing another one YES I’m still mad about the patchwork mini from 10th grade!”

hand washing isn’t hard. You know how you’re supposed to fill the cap of the soap and pour it in the washer? You only need like 1/2 that much soap usually. Take the cap and don’t rinse it if you need to hand wash something, the excess on the lid is usually the perfect amount to wash bras or a skirt in the sink. And FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON’T PUT BRAS IN THE DRYER THAT SHOULD BE CONSIDERED A CRIME! AND DONT HANG UP KNITTED THINGS IT MAKES THEM STRETCH!

10. Everybody and their brother has said this but cake mix: milk/milk sub instead of water (yes I’ve tried, almond milk makes a difference too, esp almond coffee creamer, that’s what I get since it lasts longer in the fridge and I really only use it in smoothies/coffee) melted butter instead of oil (or just really nice olive oil if you’re not for the dairy) and an extra egg if you’re feeling fancy

11. Invest on a basic cheap set of piping tips and bags if you ever think you’re going to make cupcakes for any reason. Frosting cupcakes to an acceptable level is literally one of the easiest things to do with the right equipment and people act like you’re Picasso for squeezing a bag of sugar goo over a tiny cake!

12. Get a small, easy to care for plant to put in your windowsill. Rosemary is always a good bet cause then you can make rosemary chicken which is delicious, but a succulent or two works if you, like me, kill everything you touch. It makes you look and feel responsible even though all you do is dump water on it like once a week.

13. You always need tape, AA batteries, rubber bands, and a small screwdriver. The moment you don’t have one is when you need it. Do yourself a favor and get a battery tester.

[whaleyoufeedmenuggets]

Im too lazy to look at the questions so DO ALL OF THEM. (if you dont wanna then go on a random number generator and get 5 random numbers)

ITS REALLY LONG BUT I DID IT KJSHADJS HERE GOES i love oversharing my lifealso im putting a read more line bc its hella long

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

water bottles

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

ehhh depends on my mood. i’d say it’s (dark) chocolate most of the time (love that 70% dark chocolate mmMmMm)

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

cotton candy!! except when it gets all over my face and hair o no

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

common report book comments included

- very active

- bright

- “the live wire of the class”

- usually distracted but still does well

- mischievous

- playful

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

bottles so that i can close it and save the rest for later and not have to chug it yeet

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

sportswear #sweatpantsalldayeveryday

7. earbuds or headphones?

def headphones but they’re inconvenient sometimes :/

8. movies or tv shows?

tv shows!! (also, my adhd ass can’t get through a movie without zoning out oops)

9. favorite smell in the summer?

i haven’t experienced /real/ summer (thank u singapore’s tropical climate) but i rly like the smell of rain :”)

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

making up excuses to skip pe

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

belvitas before morning practice

croissant sandwich and chocolate milk after practice

if there’s no practice, then scrambled eggs from the dining hall lolol

if i’m too lazy to go to the dining hall, then cereal

12. name of your favorite playlist?

it’s literally called jams and the description is “a clusterfuck of stuff i’ve jammed to at some point”

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

gummy bears/sour patch kids

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

death of a salesman - arthur miller

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

with one foot up on the chair and the other leg sitting normally

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

a pair of asics sneakers

18. ideal weather?

15ºc/60ºf when its like cool but not too cold but also not ridiculously hot and also when theres no insane wind (a light breeze is fine)

19. sleeping position?

on my left side and hugging a pillow/bolster/soft toy

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

i like the feeling of pen and paper but im disorganized as hell so an apple pencil + ipad makes a good enough substitute

21. obsession from childhood?

frogs (i’ve loved them since i was 3 hehe)

22. role model?

a dude i used to train with for a while in 2014. he retired last year but he’s always looked out for me like an older brother since we trained together (he’s 8 years older than me lmao) and even thought i’m so far away rn he still checks in on me and stuff and idk he’s probably one of the swimmers i respect the most.

23. strange habits?

i cant fall asleep at night if im not hugging something.  like. it could be a pillow. or a soft toy. literally anything. once on a school trip i hugged a pair of sweatpants to sleep bc i legit cant fall asleep if im not hugging something.i have no problem falling asleep in class/on buses/cars/planes though.

24. favorite crystal?

idk i never really paid enough attention to crystals to actually have a favorite and know their names. they’re all rly pretty tho.

25. first song you remember hearing?

uhh h h i honestly can’t remember. probably some classical music bc i played the violin and that was my first experience of music that i was actually aware of????

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

switch on the aircon and take a nap / sit in bed on netflix/playing on my nintendo switch. and swimming outdoors i guess.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

switch on the heater and take a nap / sit in bed on netflix/playing on my nintendo switch.

do u see a pattern here

28. five songs to describe you?

jet lag - simple plan (bc time zones suck and i miss my fam & friends)

avalanche - bring me the horizon (pretty much sums up how tf my brain feels)

high hopes - p!atd

astronaut - simple plan

the reckless and the brave - all time low

29. best way to bond with you?

doing dumb shit with me

also Quality Time™️ like idk even if we’re chilling and doing our own shit i like just spending time with people im comfortable enough with

30. places that you find sacred?

idk

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

a hoodie and sweatpants

for no reason other than that’s what i wear 90% of the time

32. top five favorite vines?

I AM CONFUSION!!! AMERICA EXPLAIN

this bitch empty. yeet.

im in my mom’s car VROOM VROOM

the one of that dad playing the saxophone (???) and the kid slamming the oven door open and shut

road works ahead “haha yea sure hope it does!”

33. most used phrase in your phone?

either lmao or lolol or LMFAO or yeet

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

gOD i had spotify ads stuck in my head all the time before i switched to premium and now i cant remember any of them (thank god)

35. average time you fall asleep?

i’d say 12:30-1ish

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

the tROLL FACE MEME LIKE those rage faces idk what they’re called but BASICALLY THOSE 2010-2012 era memes

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

suitcase!!! i like sitting on them and yeeting myself around on them or getting people to push me around and then falling off

38. lemonade or tea?

lemonade

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

ngl i havent had either of them before

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

so in jc2 (aka 12th grade), for some reason PEOPLE WERE PUTTING PRE-PACKAGED HARD BOILED EGGS ALL OVER THE SCHOOL. like they were still in their wrappers and all but u could open ur schoolbag and find like 5 eggs in there. and no one knew where they came from. i think at one point there were even eggs hanging from the pull-up bars. all i know is that they were everywhere and people in my batch still remember it as the egg invasion of acjc.

41. last person you texted?

my mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

def jacket!!! especially when they have zips hehe

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap?

idk man depends on my mood

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

sci-fi bc im a fricken nerd

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

shirt and sweats

47. favorite type of cheese?

cheddarrr also i like mozzerrella sticks

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

a fineapple B)

lmao jk ummmm maybe a watermelon bc when u hit it it sounds hollow, just like how my skull would sound if someone hit it (h a)

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

here for a good time not for a long time

never give up without a fight

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

idk probably some dumb meme. i laugh at a lot of stuff like i laugh anything even mildly funny. some that i can think of off the top of my head are:

- i was tryna type ducky but typed fucky instead and sOmEOnE (could be the person who submitted this ask, idk tho) changed my facebook messenger nickname to fucky and the notification was like ”poopy butthole changed your nickname to fucky” and i think that’s still the funniest sentence i’ve read in my whole life

- one time we went to mcdonalds and a friend said mcfluffy instead of mcflurry and idk why but i laughed so hard at that

- once @doduo and i spent half a chinese lesson cutting out random faces from the chinese newspaper and sticking them randomly all over the classroom and idk. it was the funniest thing ever. until the teacher came over and confiscated my scissors rip.

51. current stresses?

- an essay draft (that i am procrastinating rn by doing this, oops)

- CANADIAN TRIALS (but thats a good kind of stress)

- submitting a proposal for a group project but none of my groupmates are freaking replying my texts ugh

52. favorite font?

avenir next!! i find san serif fonts way easier to read than serif lolol.i like helvetica neue too.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

dry af but also i just got my nails done so they pretty rn hehe

54. what did you learn from your first job?

i…havent had a real job yet

55. favorite fairy tale?

idk i was never rly one for fairy tales even as a kid.

56. favorite tradition?

chinese new year when we get CASH and we spend 3 days just eating junk yEET im rly sad im gonna be missing it the next few years tho

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

hh h h hh hhh hh hh they’re pretty personal i don’t /really/ wanna put it out here but i can text you the answer to this if you want (i’m perfectly fine with that!!)

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

- i think i’m pretty intuitive!!! i can guess anyone’s mbti if i’ve spent enough time with them/gotten a detailed enough description of them /winks/ and i can read people pretty well in general and i can draw links to themes/symbols in lit pretty well….???

- i’m somewhat decent at lettering…i think

- i’m good at pull-ups and also vertical jumps i’m secretly a froge

- i’m decent at photography…i guess….

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

yeet

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

pokemon !!

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

/sweats/ i’m not very good at remembering lines from books/movies/shows WELP

62. seven characters you relate to?

JAKE PERALTA - b99

rosa diaz - b99

linguine - ratatouille (he’s permanently confused and he let a ratto take over his job bc he had no idea what he was doing like damn what a big mood)

dory - finding nemo/finding dory (i relate to the forgetfulness)

percy jackson

kale bae /winks/

mitt (during bad phases) /winks again, but sadly/

63. five songs that would play in your club?

idek man i wouldnt even be at my own club i’d be at home taking a nap i’ll just ask someone else to handle my playlist

64. favorite website from your childhood?

club penguin !!!

65. any permanent scars?

yE one of them was from jumping onto a treadmill going at 13km/h 2 years ago bc i thought i was a good idea

66. favorite flower(s)?

i dont have any

67. good luck charms?

i eat pancakes for breakfast on meet days!!!! altho i think this is more of a habit than a good luck charm tbh lmao.

also i guess pip???? he’s my emotional support narwhal :’)

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

durian. i cant stand the stuff or anything flavored like it ugh.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

red food coloring is derived from beetles

70. left or right handed?

right

71. least favorite pattern?

overly-floral patterns i guessssss. also i hate wearing stripes.

72. worst subject?

chinese

besides that, math and physics

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

i rly like vanilla ice cream and fries

also i would eat ketchup with nearly anything

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

i usually just suck it up and go to sleep when it comes to pain but i guess an 8??? idk. i usually take advil/ibuprofen only for fevers

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i got my first loose tooth on january 11 2005 and it fell out on january 18 2005 & it was a tuesday (pls don’t ask me how i remember this bc i dont know)

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

tater tots

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

cactus i guess. idk im not good at plants.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

grocery store sushi (it was pretty decent in singapore so yeeeee lmao also i ate a lot of that as a kid)

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

its the same photo for both so yeAh

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

earth

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

idk i always called them fireflies

82. pc or console?

console I LOVE THE FEEL OF BUTTONS

83. writing or drawing?

drawing (more like doodlign for me bc i cant draw for shit)

84. podcasts or talk radio?

neither but if i rlllllly had to choose then podcasts i guessss s sss

84. barbie or polly pocket?

neither LMAO i gave all my barbies haircuts when i was a kid bc i didnt know what to do with them

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology for sure!! i love greek mythology (may or may not be bc of percy jackson lolol)

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cookies

87. your greatest fear?

losing those i love and care about (could be drifting or actual death it goes both ways)

88. your greatest wish?

rn, for my essay to write itself

for the short-term, to make the olympics (and WUGs…and worlds…and sea games…and asian games…and commonwealth games lmao)

for the long-term, uhhh idk. i just wanna live a life i’m satisfied with and to have a job i actually like and to be able to support my parents

89. who would you put before everyone else?

my mom

90. luckiest mistake?

i always say that i regret doing a year of college in singapore instead of coming here for freshman year but if i’d come in a year earlier like i was supposed to, i proba wouldn’t have made it past swim team tryouts and i made some pretty great friends in my first year of college soooo it all worked out i guessi cant think of any others rn

91. boxes or bags?

bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights are rly pretty!!but i like natural light :”)

93. nicknames?

deb

debs

debo

debbo

alpha childuhh h h i think thats about it??? i cant remember any others

94. favorite season?

spring’s pretty great rni like fall too (before it gets cOLd)

95. favorite app on your phone?

insta/tumblr/telegram

96. desktop background?

a photo of me looking rly cool at the starting blocks before a race B)

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

4 - mine (singapore & US), my mom’s and my dad’s

98. favorite historical era?

uhh h h idk the ice age seemed pretty cool haha sike it was actually coldmedieval times seemed pretty cool too like damn i want a suit of armorWHEW I SPENT WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON THIS but i had fun so yeet

also if you read all the way down here ily and you’re cool

[mini-pretzel]

alright dude yea EVERY NUMBER FOR SWEETHEART ASKS

… what have i signed up for?

//cracks knuckles

grab a juice box, grab a snack.

we’ll be here for a while. what have i gotten myself into

1. Talk about your first love. 

oh jesus. i actually recently found my old journal lol

from way back when. 2009 i think? i was 13 or some shit. jesus. ok. so my first love was actually over the internet.

yeah, i know. nowadays we’re spoiled with tinder n shit, but back in 2009, all we had was myspace and msn and i met this fucker on skype.

i was so ahead of my time.

anyway, it was october 25, 2009.

here’s a snippet from my journal entry:

well i met a guy on skype. he’s a month younger cause my b-day is on oct 14 and his is on nov 18. but i don’t mind it.

yoooo i was into younger guys even at 13, jfc hahhaa //kill me jk hmu

and then on the next page hahahhaa omg

december 2, 2009

well me and ___ are no longer together. well we never began. he broke my heart two times already. going in depression. please don’t bother. first love, ha!

omfg damn, two months. yeah, that lasted long. also old me: ur so dramatic lol

also i was a feisty lil fella, jeez.

2. What’s the most beautiful songs you’ve ever heard in your opinion? 

this one

3. How’s your heart feeling right now?

a lil stressed. im like, hoping i can get through all of these questions without my computer crashing. pray 4 me.

4. What kind of self care is your favorite to do? 

ok, first thing to note, i fucking love self care. like, too much if im honest.

baths with bubbles and nice smelling scents, lotions, a face mask, taking my time with washing my face and hair and putting on the cutest clothes after. also snacks, always snacks.

when im feeling like spending money: massage. full body. best thing ever. i treat myself to it at least once a year for my b-day.

5. What’s your skincare routine? 

ok so i just got a new skincare line. it’s from nature republic. i have a cleanser, a toner and a moisturizer. it’s fairly simple (unlike 9 steps in korean ahhahha, but like i’ll probably get there in time) also i have a peel mask that smells like bananas that i put on twice a week to get rid of dead skin cells. oh and sometimes i do korean face masks, too.

6. How did you get to be so beautiful?

answered that q here

7. Do you have any stuffed animals?

NO! //hides them all away

8. Best trip you’ve ever been on?

thailand. my parents took me w/ them on their honeymoon.

lol idek why either. trust me.

i was just there for the swimming, riding elephants, getting food poisoning and downing two banana splits in one afternoon. good times.

9. Favorite thing about your room? 

i live in a jungle. but also in an art gallery cause my mom buys paintings online and resells them, but it’s become such a habit for her they are literally EVERYWHEREE I CANNOT.

also sorry mom i keep forgetting to water the GAZILLION plants THAT YOU HAVE MOVED INTO MY ROOM FOR SOME REASON. they’ll be dead by the time ur home. srry ilyyyyy.

also tae hmu if u want some paintings. i got way too many.

10. Opinion on love? 

dude. idk. i mean. it’s definitely not something one can describe easily or fully grasp.

im still waiting for my big love to come along, so like, we can talk about that when we get there.

otherwise, i’ll say this quote that i heard in a song:

give your heart, but keep your head.

11. Are you affectionate? 

with certain people. im weird.

with some people im like no, don’t touch me pls. i bite and scratch.

and with others you cannot get them out of my death love grip.

12. Who do you look up to? 

i look up to bts a lot. they’re doing a lot of good and they’re very respectable artists.

but i also look up to a lot of writers on here because i want to create worlds and writings like them. i won’t tag them cause rip them trying to find why i tagged them in this long ass post haha.

13. Favorite poet? 

@psycho-slytherin

lol sorry bae

ur gonna have to scroll to find out why i tagged u. and then go red and yell at me. hahah.

i also like silentium! by Fyodor Tyutchev

also everything by pushkin (esp ‘i loved you’ fuck that one gets me every time). seriously. that man isn’t called the golden poet in our country for nothing.

i actually don’t read a lot of poetry nowadays unless its my own or my friends’

but im open to recommendations

14. Song that makes you happy? How about one that calms you down when you’re in a bad place?

answered here!

15. Do you play an instrument?

lol no. i was almost taught the piano (lol rip me, i wanna kill my younger lazy ass self) and i dabbled into learning the violin. but that’s like a whole story and a half hahahaha.

16. Do you do art? Using what (pencil, watercolor, etc)?

i used to pencil draw, nothing special tho. a lot of naked ppl lol. butts n boobs were my fave. also pecks whoo.

17. Do you dance? What style of dance? 

i don’t! but i want to. i’ve been looking into dancing schools. i might do hip hop n stuff. see if i have the rhythm, i can’t tell from just jumping around my room lol

18. What’s your zodiac sign? Do you believe in astrology? 

im a libra yo. diplomatic and indecisive af.

i kinda do? there’s some sense there, but it’s too vague. i think ppl need to look into their charts to really grasp their character.

and for some it may not be true at all, so like. idk. we’re all just doing our best here.

19. Favorite old film? 

a russian film that i always watch over the new year. my mom would always joke that the new year doesn’t start till we watch it lol

the irony of fate

20. What’s your hairstyle? 

idk

u

tell

me

21. What weather is the most beautiful, in your opinion?

cloudy but warm. so there’s not too much sun but u can enjoy a nice walk outside without getting rained on.

22. What upsets you most about the world? 

i only have two hands but there are so many cats and dogs. i cannot pet all of them.

23. Are you in love right now?

answered ;)

24. Do you have a crush? If so, talk about them!

here u go

25. Do you have pets? Talk about something sweet about them! 

i don’t! but i wish i did i would shower them with my love.

but @the-trth-untold dogs are the cutest and @psycho-slytherin cats make my day. pls spam meeeee. also i love @paristae cat too.

26. Do you have a lucky number? 

yup. 22.

27. Have you ever wished on a star? What about on a fallen eyelash? 

i’ve never seen a fallen star, so no.

but i’ve wished on a fallen eyelash, always.

28. Do you believe emoji spells to work? 

emoji spells??

bruh i’ve never even heard of it till this ask wtf is that shit

bruh i mean if it works for ppl all power to them??? idk i never tried it

29. Do you believe in magic in general? 

i believe in magic tricks. but magic died for me when santa stopped existing.

30. What’s the most beautiful thing in life, In your opinion?

here

31. Opinion on the color pink? What about baby blue? 

gorgeous colors. i quite like mauve pink and deep dark blue tho.

but baby blue looks amazing on some folks. oof.

32. What instrumental sound is your favorite? 

piano. always.

33. Do you like the sound of wind? What about the sound of rain? 

answered :)

34. Who makes you happy? 

bts and all of my mutuals

35. What makes you happy? 

sleep, food, music, writing, cuddles. and forehead kisses.

also more listed here

36. Imagine your ideal life, the life you wish to make, what will that look like? 

i live in a nice apartment. doesn’t have to be expensive, just nice and clean with wooden floors and spacious windows.

i have all the necessities that i need and im never lonely.

i have also touched countless hearts by my books and am able to live comfortably just from my works.

haha. you said ideal, right?

also have someone to spend it with. someone i’d write poetry about daily. a bestfriend first and foremost before a lover.

37. Do you wear makeup? If so what’s your favorite type of makeup or specific makeup product? Favorite store to buy makeup?

answered this fella here

38. Do you wear dresses? If so what’s your favorite dress you own? 

i used to have dresses. but not anymore.

i liked the long sleeve sweater black one i had with a low cut. it was gorgeous. i dont have much of boobage but i always felt like i was sexy in it.

39. Ever been heartbroken? How do you deal with it? 

yep. you just kind of take it one day at a time. some days will be better than the last. some days you’ll cry a little harder and some days you move on a little further. it takes time. make sure you have good people around you so you don’t fall into depression.

40. Who’s your closest friend? What do you love about them? 

ah, to be honest i don’t have a closest friend. i’ve always been the kind of person that always had friends around her but never anyone too deep. and i kinda wish i did. i just don’t know who would come to fill that spot. people always leave, so i kind of gave up assigning that spot. i think the people that want to be in that spot will show themselves and tell me. otherwise i will not assume or assign.

41. Introvert or extrovert? 

introvert. but i have my moments. i can be charming and friendly when i want to.

42. Do you like MBTI? What’s your MBTI? 

i had to look it up cause i forgot what it was lol

i took the test a while back: im infp.

there’s not a lot of us, apparently. which is cool. shout out to all infps out there!

43. Would you be a fairy, a mermaid, a vampire, a siren, or an angel? 

hmmm. what kind of fairy tho? lol

maybe vampire? idk i’d be a sexy immortal lady that’d bite innocent boys and girls that just want to have a good time lol

44. What’s the best song a friend has ever introduced to you? 

this oneee

45. Parlez-vous français? 

no~

46. Most beautiful place you’ve been to? 

butchart gardens

47. Where/when do you truly feel at home? 

here

48. Does smiling put you in a better mood? Try it right now, you’re smile is gorgeous! 

kdjfalkfjdlkdsaf //hides

this ask is flirting with me…

well that’s as much action as im going to get this new years eve lol

49. Favorite shoe you own?

my sweet rose gold kicks, yo.

50. Can you walk in stilettos? Do you like them? 

lol no. i cannot. and i do not. im not made for heels. im tall enough as it is.

51. Do you feel loved? 

every time i talk to my mutuals yes //cry

52. How do you express love to those you care about? 

by saying cute words and by clinging to them like a koala.

53. Favorite term(s) of endearment? 

sweetheart, dear, idk im just like anything honestly. love, baby. go crazy.

i also love mean terms like idiot and stuff. or nicknames that hold inside jokes, something between the two of you only.

54. Most romantic thing someone’s ever done for you? 

hasn’t happened yet. so yeah. any takers? lol

55. When is the happiest you’ve ever been? 

reading a good book for the first time. or just experiencing something new that i end up loving for the first time. nothing can replace that first feeling.

56. Are you happy right now? 

happy im almost done hahhahahahaa. ha.

no but srsly i am

57. What makes you smile? 

stupid jokes. puns. someone laughing and showing themselves fully.

58. Do you laugh a lot? 

i mean. i think so? i try. i make jokes a lot and laugh at myself if that counts?

59. What’s your favorite kind of aesthetic? 

ughhhh comfy bf aestheticcc

60. Do you want to marry for love or for some other reason (like money)? 

i have a sour view on marriage. so only if i love someone hard enough. but even then i don’t know if i’ll do it. it hurts too much to think about marriage and wedding rings for me.

61. What would your dream wedding look like? Do you want to get married? 

see above.

62. Favorite flower?

orchid.

63. Favorite artist?

claude monet.

64. Favorite music artist?

bts lol

no surprises there.

65. How kind do you think you are? Is kindness important to you? 

its not something for me to decide. i try to be kind to everyone, but how it is interpreted is different for everyone. i’d like to think i’m kind.

and yes, very important. especially being kind to yourself.

66. Ever made a playlist for someone? 

yes i have. i love making playlists for people. i don’t get asked that enough.

67. Do you have anything you do to physically comfort you when your sad? Such as a favorite blanket? Or a relaxing bath? 

music. music always helps. and tea.

ideally i’d love for someone to massage my scalp, but hahah no one’s been able to do it the right way. when it’s done right i melt and forget about everything.

68. Early bird or night owl? 

night owl.

moonchild, lol

69. Morning routine? 

wake up, look in the mirror, look away from the mirror, go back to bed.

70. Night routine? 

SHOWER N NICE SMELLING LOTIONS. AND SKINCAREEEEEE OOOOF.

also fresh sheets.

71. What is the most lovely quality a person could have in your opinion? 

answered here

72. Do you cry often? Does crying help you get the emotions out? Do you feel better after? 

i only cry when i watch or read something. and it does help. i always feel better after. but i tend to keep my emotions hidden away, the negative ones at least.

73. Do you like hugs? 

i love hugs. come hug me, bro.

u must smell nice tho.

74. When was the last time you kissed someone?

august.

75. Are you small or tall? 

tall. 175cm.

76. Do you like wholesome memes? 

answered

77. Favorite thing about the past? 

cd players. chia pet commercials. flip phones. mom jeans.

78. Do you ever wonder about the future? 

all the time. esp mine. i have no idea what the fuck im doing.

79. Have you ever lived in a different country than you currently live in? 

yep. i’ve lived in america and canada before. and traveled a lot.

80. Do you like plane flights? Airports? 

i don’t mind flying. and depends on the airport. some are better than others.

81. Sunrises or sunsets? 

sunrises. every day is a new day~

82. The beach or a forest? 

bitch- i mean beach. :)

83. What time of day do you tend to be in the best mood? 

any time i am eating. or sleeping. or reading.

im so close to being done omg. this is fun tho.

84. Do you push yourself to act together and in a good mood even when you aren’t? 

always. ain’t nobody gonna deal with that baggage lol

85. Favorite kind of tree? 

japanese maple tree

86. Do you care about the health of the Earth? 

i mean i don’t even care about my health that much tbh, i need to work on that.

87. What did you like most about your childhood, if anything? 

that i got to travel and learned english very young.

88. Do you read a lot? What’s your favorite book? 

answered here

89. What are you most nostalgic for at the moment? 

old school disney

90. What’s your favorite personality trait you have? 

answered this bad boi here

91. List at least ONE thing you love about your appearance. 

eyes. have to work on my ass tho. squats baby.

92. When was the last time you truly felt calm, without much of anything to worry about? 

after a massage.

93. Do you worry a lot? 

eh, i worry enough, i suppose. there’s just some stuff you can’t control.

94. The dazzling lights of the city or the relaxing countryside?

dazzling lights of the city. especially in the evening. and in the winter. ahhhhh. someone hold my hand and walk with meeeeee.

95. Ever changed the shoelaces on one of your shoes? For what reason? 

no i haven’t had that pleasure, lol

maybe next year

96. Favorite pastry? 

BUTTER. CROISSANT.

97. Do you like doing little acts of kindness? 

yes. uwu

98. How’s your day/night going? 

well im finally done with this ask holy shit, and i need to resume writing my namjoon fic so… fantastic. i also have noodles. whoooo.

thank you for reading this whole damn mess of an ask.

ily

[sponfawn]

Personal rant

I've been super nostalgic for things of my childhood, mostly like 1-4 grade. I was thinking back to that time and why I'd wanna go back to then, and honestly I don't remember most of my life in 1 and 2 grade, especially. And I think I accidentally unearthed some mildish trauma that I just kinda didn't consider before...

Those 2 grades were spent in a rigorous "gifted" school. I went to more rigorous than average schools for basically my entire life until college, but that school was the worst. I transferred to another school for 3rd, and found we were using the same textbook from the end of my 1st grade. I don't remember a lot, just the rules and isolated snapshots. I remember I liked the pre-1st grade summer program. We got ham sandwiches and watched educational videos on dinosaurs, and i wanted to be a paleontologist. And then the actual school year started. I remember having too much in class work to finish at school but too much homework to catch up on my in class work. I remember not measuring up to everyone else. I remember that we had half an hour for lunch. I remember we could only go to the bathroom during bathroom breaks, but some days we didn't get them. I remember one girl peed in class cuz she couldn't hold it anymore. I remember gym was literally military drills, 31 6-7 year olds marching and turning on command, and we hardly ever got to play games. I remember we had 3 2nd grade teachers cuz they kept getting fired. I don't remember the first one well, but apparently shed tell us to prick our fingers and write in our own blood if our pencils weren't sharp enough. The second was cold and strict and she was fired after she twisted a kids arm and pulled him out of the classroom.

I remember one of my friends transferred out cuz he had adhd-related behavioral issues. In the backseat of the car, he was talking about how great his new school was, how they even had recess(!), and I remember my sudden outburst, covering my ears, sobbing and screaming at him to be quiet, cuz I was so envious. My mom very sternly, but calmly turned around and said "Emily. CALM. DOWN. Michael, dont mind her go ahead, continue", and as he did it was like torture. I know why she did and Im not mad at her for it. I was taking out all my anger and jealousy on him when he'd had an even worse time at our school than I did, and he didn't do anything wrong. He was just happy at his new school. But just today it made me fully realize now how miserable I was there. Like I remember liking some of the kids, but I also remember really hating it. But I think I distanced myself from it to where it was just a "child's" hate, and even tho I still knew it was an awful school, I forgot how deeply I felt at that age. As we grow older i think we start to trivialize how we felt when we were younger, and we forget... My mom found my first gray hair when I was in second grade, when we were in a dressing room. Under the bright fluorescent lights - I remember her shock - it was so shiny after she plucked it out to show me.

I realize its not nearly as bad as a lot of childhood traumas. Not even most. But it definitely followed me for the rest of my life/education (including now). My constant fear of failure and disappointment, shame when I couldn't do as well as others, perfectionism that had me typing papers till 3 am with 2 hours to sleep. My anxiety and reluctance to ask questions, fear of teachers noticing me, yet desperation for approval. The pseudo-narcolepsy I had for a couple years due to chronic fatigue and sleep-deprivation that caused my body to shut down. The years of hitting the ground of the school year running, cuz I was still jogging from the summer homework load, the never ending long sprint that wore my physical and mental health to dust. My perception that society/those who knew me/etc see me as a heap of wasted potential and a disappointment, my self-destructive depression spiral in my sophomore year of college after I had burnt out. I was all set to go study abroad in Japan the next year, during my last term at college as a sophomore when I finally broke down. It's been 3 years, and I'm tentatively taking 1 online course at a community college now.

I just... Wonder if things would've been better if that hadn't been my start.