#I;m trying to stop writing these thinkpieces I SWEAR

[somedreamlove]

Controversial opinion, but Caiti hasn’t admitted enough responsibility for her actions in this. I’ve seen more blame levied at her friends for ‘allowing’ her to drink or ‘not protecting’ her, but her friends are not responsible for her behaviour. She is responsible for illegally underage drinking, for lying about her age with a 21 badge, for making the final decision to go to the party, to the hotel room, for choosing to stay when her friends left, for lying back down next to George multiple times, and for—yes, I’m going to say it—not giving George literally any indication of her unwillingness (if, indeed, she was ever actually unwilling in the moment). She actually had a lot of power in this situation and many, many opportunities for a decision that would not have put her in this situation.

This brings up an important difference between victim blaming and victim accountability:

Victim blaming is saying—she didn’t take precautions, and therefore she deserved to be hurt. <- (Obviously false and a very damaging mindset.)

Victim accountability is saying—she chose to not take precautions, and those decisions increased the danger of the situation and let it happen more than it would otherwise. I am sorry this meant she got hurt, and I don’t judge her for the stupid decisions. But we must acknowledge she did make those choices and she had the power not to.

Victim accountability thus actually gives her back her own power. It acknowledges that there were many things in the situation that were within her control, and it empowers her to know the many things she can do next time to more greatly control her situation. Conversely, I actually think her blaming this entire situation on George (or Dream, or her friends), is a disservice to herself, because then she sees him as all-powerful, and herself as totally powerless, which is not the case.

And reminder, we’re talking about a hand on a waist.