#I wrote this with autistic!spencer in mind

[0o-junebug-o0]

Just To Hear Her Voice

Here's my first Criminal Minds fic!

summary: In the aftermath of Emily's death, Spencer starts calling and texting her number to cope as his life spirals down around him. He has no idea that halfway across the world, Emily is listening.

content: drug addiction, grief/mourning, angst, hurt/comfort, near relapse, angst with a happy ending

word count: 3.2k

Spencer calls Emily for the first time a week after her death. He’s sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest on the floor of his apartment, pressed between a chair and the wall, rocking forward and backward. He holds the phone to his ear and sobs when he hears Emily’s voice.

“This is Emily Prentiss. I’m not available right now. Leave a message and I will call you back.”

The dial tone sounds. Spencer chokes on a sob and hangs up. He redials the number. 

“This is Emily Prentiss. I’m not available right now. Leave a message and I will call you back.”

He hangs up before the tone and calls again. 

He only speaks on the sixth call. 

“This is Emily Prentiss. I’m not available right now. Leave a message and I will call you back.”

The dial tone sounds and Spencer takes a deep, shaky breath. “H-hi, Emily. I, um, I don’t know why I’m calling you. It’s– it’s not like you’re going to answer. You’re dead. I helped carry your coffin. It—” A sob pushes up his throat and cuts him off. “It was so heavy,” he whispers. 

He bows his head and presses his knees against his face, he can feel the tears seeping through the fabric of his slacks. “I just– I really miss you. It doesn’t feel real, none of this feels real. I’m sorry. I—” Spencer cuts himself off with a wet chuckle. “I should go eat something.”

Spencer pulls the phone away from his ear and hangs up. He doesn’t push himself off the floor for another three hours and when he does he goes straight to his room.

He calls her again three days later just to hear her voice. He doesn’t speak.

Spencer lays on the floor of a Nashville hotel room four weeks and six days after Emily’s death and dials her number. 

“This is Emily Prentiss. I’m not available right now. Leave a message and I will call you back.” 

He waits for the tone.

“I saw someone that looks like you today,” he says weakly. He breathes deeply and stares at the ceiling, tracing the perimeter of the room with his eyes. “It was uncanny. I, um, I really thought she was you. I was with Rossi, heading back to the Nashville police station, we’re on our first case since—” he pauses unable to finish the sentence. “It was good he was there. I might have called your name if he wasn’t. It feels wrong without you here.” Unable to think of anything else to say, Spencer hangs up. 

He doesn’t know that halfway across the world his voicemails are transferred from one phone to another and Emily Prentiss, newly arrived in Paris, listens to them and cries.

After the case in Nashville, calling Emily becomes a part of Spencer’s routine. Most of the time he doesn’t talk, unable to force himself to speak, and just listens to her voice. On those days he goes over to JJ’s house once he hangs up and cries in her arms. 

Emily receives records of those calls too, the times and dates are sent to her new phone and she stares at them when they arrive, hoping that she’s not the only person Spencer is talking to.

After three months he shifts from leaving messages to texting because it’s easier than talking. He still calls to listen to her voice but always hangs up before the tone. He texts her about his day, about the cases they’re working on without giving away any details, about how much he misses her. He still goes to JJ’s house at least once a week, he feels safer there on bad days.

Five months and thirteen days after her death, Spencer calls Emily’s number and yells.

“You should have told us! We could have helped you! We’re family, Emily! It’s our job to take care of each other.” Spencer's voice cracks and he lets out a screaming sob as he grabs a plate from the sink and throws it to the floor. “And now you’re dead! You’re dead and there’s nothing we can do about it! You’re so fucking stupid, Emily! We– we could have helped you! I hate you! I hate you! Why’d you have to leave?” He falls to the floor and trails off into uncontrollable sobs, not caring that the ceramic shards dig into his knees and the palm of his hand. He leans against the cabinets next to him and sobs, painfully and violently. He knows he’s being loud, loud enough that his neighbors can probably hear him but he can’t bring himself to care, not when he feels like he’s dying. He slams his head against the cabinet and the pain of it combined with the pain of the ceramic stuck in his skin helps ground him. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, his voice wet with tears. “I’m sorry, I don’t hate you. I promise I don’t hate you. I’m so sorry. I could never hate you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He repeats those two words until his phone dies in his hand eleven minutes later.

Halfway across the world, Emily Prentiss sits in her Paris apartment, listens to the voicemail, and cries.

Spencer doesn’t call or text for twenty-four days after that. He knows she’s dead. He knows she can’t hear or see what he says to her, but he feels painfully guilty for his last voicemail. The kind of guilt that burrows into his chest and stays there, squeezing tight around his heart and lungs whenever he thinks about it. 

He lays awake in a hotel bed in Sedona, Arizona staring at the ceiling. With a sigh, he rolls onto his side, grabs his phone from the nightstand, and opens his text conversation with Emily. 

“I don’t know why I’m still doing this,” he types. Spencer squeezes his eyes shut for a moment. “I know you’re not going to see this, but I want to say I’m sorry again for when I last called. I don’t hate you. I promise I don’t hate you. I was just angry and sad and didn’t know what to do. I don’t know why I still feel so stuck. Obviously, everyone else is still sad but they seem to be moving on while I’m still here.” He sends the message and pauses for a moment. “I’ve been craving again, ever since you died. It’s getting worse the longer it’s been. I don’t know why. I thought it would get easier but it’s just getting harder. I’m scared, Emily.” His finger hovers over the send button before he changes his mind and deletes the message. He’s not going to tell anyone that, not even someone dead. Emily doesn’t deserve that. “I miss you,” he writes. He hits send and puts his phone back on the nightstand, curling into a ball with the comforter pulled up to his chin.

He squeezes his eyes shut and wraps his arms around his chest, trying not to scratch at the crook of his arm and trying not to think about getting high. 

The next two weeks pass in a haze and Spencer can feel himself getting worse. He calls and texts Emily’s number more frequently and visits JJ’s house nearly every other day. Being around Henry is the only thing keeping him from contacting his old dealer. He would never bring that shit into their home, he would never even think of being high around his godson. 

Spencer sits curled in on himself between a chair and the wall of his apartment with his phone pressed to his ear.

“This is Emily Prentiss. I’m not available right now. Leave a message and I will call you back.”

“This is Emily Prentiss. I’m not available right now. Leave a message and I will call you back.”

“This is Emily Prentiss. I’m not available right now. Leave a message and I will call you back.”

“This is Emily Prentiss. I’m not available right now. Leave a message and I will call you back.”

“This is Emily Prentiss. I’m not available right now. Leave a message and I will call you back.”

“This is Emily Prentiss. I’m not available right now. Leave a message and I will call you back.”

The tone sounds. “I miss you, Emily,” he says, his voice weak around the lump in his throat. “It’s not getting easier, but I’m alright.” That’s a lie. He doesn’t know why he’s lying. Emily’s dead. She’s not going to hear it anyway. But he just can’t bring himself to say it. He hangs up.

Three days later, Spencer calls JJ to ask if he can come over. She apologizes and tells him that Henry has the flu and passed it on to Will. He tells her it’s okay and hangs up.

Forty-five hours later he calls a number he deleted from his contacts years ago.

Sixteen hours later Spencer is curled up on his couch, staring at the unopened vial of Dilaudid sitting on his coffee table next to a packaged needle. 

He knows he shouldn’t do this. He doesn’t want to. But he needs it.

He feels frozen, his whole body is shaking. He rubs his eyes hard and continues to stare at the vial. He knows he should call someone but he’s scared and ashamed. He doesn’t want anyone to see him like this.

His hand shakes violently as he reaches for his phone and selects Emily’s contact. She’s dead. He can call her. She won’t know and maybe calling will give him the courage to dump it down the drain. 

The first ring startles him and he waits silently, tears streaming down his cheeks as the phone continues to ring.

“This is Emily Prentiss. I’m not available right now. Leave a message and I will call you back.”

The tone sounds and Spencer speaks.

______

Emily's phone pings as a new voicemail is transferred to her phone. She looks at her phone with surprise. It’s eight am in Paris and two am in DC. It’s much later than Spencer usually calls.

She turns her volume on and selects the voice message.

The first thing she hears is a shaky sob she’s become painfully familiar with.

“Hi, Emily. I don’t know why I’m calling,” Spencer mutters. His voice sounds completely broken and almost dead. “Actually, that’s– that’s not true. I know why I’m calling.” There’s a pause and all she can hear is the shaky sound of Spencer breathing and crying softly. “I can’t call anyone else.” He sighs. “I’m, um, I’m sitting in my living room in– in front of a needle and a vial of Dilaudid.” Emily’s stomach drops and she shoots to her feet. A broken sob plays from her phone. Panic builds rapidly in her chest and she hopes, prays, that Spencer hasn’t taken any yet. She’s pulled from her thoughts when he starts to speak again. “I don’t want to,” he whispers. “I promise I don’t want to. It’s just too much, I—” his voice breaks “I need it, Em.” Emily raises her hand to cover her mouth as tears stream down her cheeks. This is her fault. This is all her fault. She should’ve told everyone. 

“I’m so sorry, Em. I just– I really miss you. I-I didn’t even get to say goodbye.” 

The playback ends and Emily immediately rushes to the toilet to vomit because that sounded horrifyingly like a suicide note. She coughs violently and spits into the toilet. She doesn’t even take the time to flush it before she clicks on Spencer’s number and her phone is ringing.

Halfway across the world, Spencer sobs as rolls up his sleeve and wraps his belt around his upper arm. The sterile plastic crinkles as he removes the needle. He holds it and wishes he wasn’t like this. Wishes he was a better, stronger person. He reaches to grab the vial but as the tips of his fingers touch the cool class his phone rings. 

He startles, almost dropping the needle. Too large a part of him is glad he didn’t drop it because that means it’s still clean and he can still use it. He slips the needle back into the plastic packaging and sets it back down on the coffee table but he doesn’t undo the belt around his arm. His hand shakes violently as he picks up his phone.

He stares at the screen for a moment, it’s a number he doesn’t recognize with a Paris area code. He doesn’t know why but he answers it.

“Spencer!” Emily’s voice gasps through his phone. 

Spencer stares wide-eyed at the phone without responding. This isn’t happening, this isn’t real. She’s dead. He must be having a schizophrenic break, he’s the right age for it and he’s hearing the voice of his dead friend.

“Spencer!” the voice says again. He refuses to think of it as Emily’s voice. It’s not her voice, it can’t be because if it is that means she’s alive. That means that she and Hotch and who knows how many other members of his team have been lying to him for months. That means she heard and read all his messages. That means she heard him say that he bought Dilaudid and is about to shoot up. “Please, Spencer! Please answer me. Oh, God.”

“E-Emily?” he asks, his voice breaking. He hates that part of him believes it might actually be her.

“Yes, fuck. Yes, it’s me, Spencer, please tell me you’re okay,” she gasps. Spencer can hear her crying.

“Is–is this real? I’m not having a schizophrenic break?”

“No, I mean yes, I mean this is real!” Emily stutters. “I’m real. I’m alive. I’m so so sorry. But please, Spencer, tell me you haven’t done anything.”

Spencer doesn’t respond, just staring in disbelief at his phone. A moment later his phone beeps and a button appears at the bottom of the screen. Without thinking he presses it and immediately Emily’s face fills his screen. Her face is pale and her hair is all over the place and she looks terrified. She stares at him with wide eyes. In the bottom right corner is himself, and for the first time in sixty-one hours and twenty-three minutes, Spencer looks at himself. His face is red and blotchy and the bags under his eyes look like bruises. His hair is greasy and knotted. His shirt is buttoned incorrectly, his right sleeve is rolled up, and he can see the belt cinched around his arm.

“Spencer?” Emily asks, and her lips move on his phone as she speaks. “Did you—”

He cuts her off with a shake of the head and with a shaking hand, undoes the belt around his arm and lets it fall to the floor. “I was— I was about to,” he admits, his voice weak and wet. “I took out the needle. You called right— right as I grabbed the bottle.”

Spencer can see the panic fade from Emily’s face. “Okay, okay,” she says, her voice breathy with relief. “Thank God. Okay. Spencer, I need you to listen to me, okay?”

He nods and says nothing. 

“I need you to pick up the bottle and dump it.”

Spencer immediately bursts into tears. “I-I can’t, Em. I can’t!” he cries. “I want to but I can’t. You were dead. I helped carry your coffin! I can’t! It was so bad. I need it! I need to not feel!” He knows he’s not making any sense but by the look of her face, he can tell Emily understands.

“I know,” she says softly. “I know. But I need you to do this for me. Please, Spencer.”

He bows his head and sobs ugly and violent sobs. 

“You’re going to be okay, Spencer. I’m right here. I’ll always be right here.”

“But you weren’t!” he screams, the anger in his chest finally boiling over. “You weren’t here! You left! You lied! You let us believe you were dead! You let us mourn you! I hate you, Emily! I fucking hate you!” 

Spencer looks up at the phone when Emily doesn’t respond and freezes when he sees the tears streaming down her cheeks. 

“I–I’m sorry,” he says, panicked. “I don’t know why I said that. I don’t hate you. I don’t hate you. I promise I don’t hate you! Please, Emily, please. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I— fuck!” Spencer drops his phone on the couch and pushes himself to his feet, grabbing the needle and vial of Dilaudid as he stands. 

“Spencer? Spencer!” Emily cries frantically through his phone. He doesn’t respond and practically sprints into his kitchen. Quickly, before he can regret it, he breaks off the tip of the needle and stabs it into a banana to make it safe and throws it and the rest of the needle in the trash. He unscrews the cap of the vial and dumps it down the kitchen sink. He sobs as he watches the liquid flow down the drain. The vial slips from his fingertips and he sinks to the floor. He says there until he’s sure all of the drug is gone before shakily pushing himself up, rinsing out the vial with water, and throwing it in the trash with the broken needle.

He stumbles back into the living room and picks up his phone to see Emily panicking. She opens her mouth to speak but Spencer interrupts her. “I dumped it,” he says weakly.

“Oh thank, God,” Emily sighs with relief. “Fuck. I’m so sorry, Spencer.”

“Who knew?” he demands. 

“What?”

“Who knew you were alive?”

“Just– just Hotch and JJ. But don’t be mad at them, please. I had no choice. Hotch knows because he’s Unit Chief and JJ only knows because she was assigned to making me disappear. It was too much of a risk to tell anyone else.”

Spencer scoffs. “What? You didn’t trust us? You don’t think we can keep a secret as important as this?”

A pained look crosses Emily’s face. “No,” she insists. “No that’s not it at all. I know all of you would have kept this a secret. I trust all of you with my life. But I couldn’t risk you knowing because it would put you in danger. Doyle will do anything to get to me. I wish even JJ and Hotch didn’t know, but I didn’t get a say in that. But I did get one in protecting you. You don’t– you don’t have to forgive me, or– or even be okay with it, but please—” a small sob cuts her off. “Please, I just need you to understand.”

Spencer stares at her for a while before slowly nodding. “I understand,” he whispers. “I hate it and I’m mad and I don’t forgive you yet but I understand.”

“Thank you,” Emily sighs weakly. “That’s all I ask. I just want you to be safe, that’s why I called, even though I have been ordered not to contact any of you. I couldn’t– I couldn’t let you relapse.”

Spencer nods weakly.

“I just need you to be okay,” she sobs softly.

“I’m not okay,” he admits, another sob forces its way up his throat. “I need help, Em. I’m sorry.”

She shakes her head. “Don’t be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m going to call JJ, okay? And she’s going to come pick you up. I'm so proud of you.”

Spencer nods. “I love you, Emily.”

“I love you too, Spence. I’ll stay on the line until she gets here. I’m not leaving you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If anyone wants to be tagged in future fics, just let me know! Also if you have something you'd like me to write, my requests are always open!

[physalian]

Yet another 5 Character Types The World Needs More Of

Continuing on the list of “tropes the world needs more of”

1. The optimist in denial

This is a character who probably didn’t have the best life growing up, so determined to look on the bright side to escape their objectively crap situation that they’re in denial, not just being annoyingly optimistic. They’re frustrating cases to all the people who care about them because they won’t admit anything is wrong, holding onto a life or reality that doesn’t exist, or perhaps never did, as it’s all they have left.

Example: Todoroki Fuyumi

2. The “peaceful” pacifist

As opposed to harmless, the distinction is important. Demons run when a good man goes to war. This is a character who took themselves off the game board because they know they’d win in a landslide. This is a warrior who left the battlefield because they are the weapon of mass destruction. This is also the character who is determined to be good, even if it gets them killed. I don’t care if there’s already plenty of them, this is good shit and I want more.

Example: Too many and yet not enough

3. The likable autistic

Neurodivergence in media is often the butt of the joke. You like these characters in spite of their “quirks” or you find them incredibly annoying because their “quirks” are their entire personality. Usual representations are arrogant and anti-social narcissists who lack compassion. Shockingly, autism is a spectrum, and a very far cry from sociopathy. No one trait should define an entire character, and that includes neurodivergence.

Nothing specific to do this time, more what not to do. Make them people first, yeah? A person with autism. Not autistic person. There’s a difference.

Example: Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds)

4. Husbands who love their wives

Wow this feels like a low bar. These men who adore their wives, who wouldn’t dare think the phrase “ball and chain”. If he likes his wife, he’s probably a good man altogether. I feel like media is stepping away from the misogynistic kinds of protagonists (assuming their wives weren’t fridged) but I’m talking men who are their wives fiercest defender (socially) and biggest cheerleader.

Example: Gomez Adams, Maes Hughes

5. Unmanicured Female Heroes and Love Interests

Slapping barbie dolls who look gorgeous and can do no wrong aren’t anyone’s favorite character. Let her hair be a little frizzy, let her not wear makeup, give her jeans and a t-shirt and flat. Let her be a little lazy and self-indulgent. A little cluttered and messy without joking about how she’s “letting herself go”.

Let her have some biases, some arbitrary hills to die on. Not every female character but usually characters like this are the jealous villains or the girl who gets dumped for someone prettier.

Example: Toph Beifong, Princess Fiona

—

Oh look I wrote some of these in ENNS haha what a coincidence

Check it out if you'd like~

[spencer-reids-adventures]

✨ 2022 Writing Year In Review ✨

Thanks to @feeisamarshmallow​ for tagging me!

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 12

2. Word count posted for the year: 299,454

3. Fandoms I wrote for: Criminal Minds

4. Pairings: Luke Alvez/Spencer Reid, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, lots of friendship stuff between the team

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: A Collection of Blurbs Featuring Autistic Spencer Reid with 844

Bookmarks: Also A Collection of Blurbs Featuring Autistic Spencer Reid with 242

Comments: bau super seven loving-reid-a-thon with 159 comment threads

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

to seek and to find the narrow way. it's so personal and i was so nervous to post it because of the religious themes but i'm really pleased with how it turned out and i've gotten some amazing feedback <3

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

secret storm. i'm not not proud of it! but i wrote it for a challenge and i think i rushed it a little and could've done a lot more with it if i'd given it the time it deserved.

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

there's one person who's been reading you don't have to be sorry for doing it on your own and leaving long, detailed comments on every single chapter. i love this person so much. every comment from them makes me cry, they quote my work and talk about what they liked and what they're looking forward to. it's a writer's dream.

9. A time when writing was really, really hard:

writing the little scenes that i have to get through to get to what i really want to be writing. it's so hard to slog through sometimes, but it's always worth it once i make it to the good part and it gets easy again.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: 

an upcoming chapter of you don't have to be sorry for doing it on your own has a nightmare aftermath scene that i wasn't planning at all but i'm really into it now that i'm writing it and i'm excited to see how it affects the story as a whole. it literally came out of nowhere but i love it so, so much. also, that fic as a whole has surprised me - it started as a really long oneshot and now i'm at about 75k and only halfway done.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

“Oh. Sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” Morgan asks. 

“Keeping you here. Falling asleep on you. Trauma dumping on you.”

“You didn’t trauma dump on me. I asked questions and you answered. And I don’t mind that you fell asleep on me. You clearly needed the rest.”

Spencer buries his face in his hands. “I don’t usually talk about these things.” 

“I know, kid.”

“I don’t like talking about these things.”

“I know.”

“I don’t want this to change our friendship,” Spencer sighs. “I don’t want things to be weird from now on. I don’t want you to treat me differently.”

“It won’t change anything,” Morgan promises. “I won’t treat you differently.”

“I don’t want you to be worried about me all the time now.”

“Reid. I was already worried about you all the time.”

from you've got a friend

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: 

i wrote a lot this year! i did a lot of sprints, and that made me really productive, and i forced myself to write even when i didn't want to. and i think that was good for me. i also have been making a conscious effort to write what i want to write and not what other people necessarily want to read, and not getting hung up on hits or kudos or comments. if i start worrying too much about what people are going to think about what i'm writing, i stop and regroup and go back to writing what i want, even if that means deleting a whole bunch of stuff.

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

i want to better balance my writing time with the rest of my life. i'm not always good at determining how much writing is enough and how much is too much, and i neglect other aspects of my life in favor of writing which isn't always healthy. i do want to continue to write for me, though. and i've started a trend of writing a chapter ahead in chapter fics so i don't get overwhelmed, and i want to keep that up because it's working really well. i also want to put more effort into brainstorming for the discord fic because i love that one and i feel like i've neglected it a little lately.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): 

chris (@domestikhighway58) and maze (@tobias-hankel) have been so supportive and encouraging and spent so much time sprinting with me and chatting with me and reading my little snippets and keeping me motivated to keep writing. they also both write amazing fics that inspire me to write, period. i am endlessly grateful to both of them.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

i mean, i write fanfiction to process my emotions and issues, so yes, a lot of my real life shows up in my writing. spencer's coping mechanisms are my coping mechanisms. his stims are my stims. his autistic traits are my autistic traits. i have dozens of unfinished fics in my google drive that i've used to process issues in my marriage. also, spencer's therapist in one fic is an exact copy of my favorite former therapist, all the way down to her first name.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

write what you want to write and don't worry about what anyone else is going to think. if there's something you're dying to read and no one's written yet - write it! if you have an idea that won't leave you alone - write it! don't worry about if it's good or if other people are going to like it. you are the most important audience. just do the thing!

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

i'm really enjoying writing you don't have to be sorry for doing it on your own and now that i have an idea of where it's going to end up, i can't wait to get there. we're only about halfway through, so there's still a lot yet to come, and i can't wait to find out what that is, haha. Besides that, i guess we'll just see what happens. i've spontaneously written a couple of oneshots in the past few weeks and i'd like to do more of those in the future instead of always getting stuck in my long fics.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

@eldrai @masterwords @tobias-hankel @domestikhighway58

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

Three in the Morning Nonsense

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/BFbQ8Jj by AtticusAreola I honestly don't have an explanation for this, Sertraline gives you the craziest dreams, so here we are. This is a multifandom collection of one-shots that I wrote at three am, I probably won't do more with them but I needed them out of my head. Words: 17355, Chapters: 7/?, Language: English Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005), Once Upon a Time (TV), Hellsing, The Witcher (TV), Criminal Minds (US TV), Call of Duty (Video Games), Five Nights at Freddy's, Avatar (Cameron Movies) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Original Children of Bobby Singer and Karen Singer, Castiel (Supernatural), Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan, Jake Sully, Original Female Character(s), Captain Hook | Killian Jones, Emma Swan, Henry Mills (Once Upon a Time), Evil Queen | Regina Mills, Alucard (Hellsing), Integra Hellsing, Seras Victoria, Father Anderson, Eskel (The Witcher), Lambert (The Witcher), Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon, Simon "Ghost" Riley, John Price (Call of Duty), John "Soap" MacTavish, Gary "Roach" Sanderson, Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan (Criminal Minds), Aaron Hotchner, Henry Emily Relationships: Dean Winchester/Original Female Character(s), Castiel/Dean Winchester, Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan/Original Female Character(s), Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Original Character(s), Alucard (Hellsing)/Original Character(s), Alucard/Integra Hellsing, Eskel & Lambert (The Witcher), Eskel (The Witcher)/Original Female Character(s), Spencer Reid/Original Female Character(s), Simon "Ghost" Riley/Original Female Character(s), Michael Afton/Original Female Character(s) Additional Tags: What Have I Done, The Author Regrets Everything, One Shot, Random & Short, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Quote: I Have A Bad Feeling About This (Star Wars), References to Game: FNAF World (Five Nights at Freddy's 2016), Witchers Need Hugs (The Witcher), Autistic Spencer Reid, Soft Simon "Ghost" Riley, Lieutenant John "Soap" MacTavish, Game: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare II (2022), Author Has Played Call of Duty, Vampires, Mommy Issues, Daddy Issues, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, One Shot Collection, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Smut, Mild Sexual Content, Alien Culture, Religious Content, Na'vi Culture (Avatar - Cameron), It's Not Paranoia If They're Really Out To Get You, Supernatural Elements, Canon-Typical Violence, Not Beta Read, Inspired by Swan Princess (1994) read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/BFbQ8Jj

[themetaphorgirl]

i feel like i’m sending you so many messages and i feel bad so i’m sorry this is the last one i swear but imagine spencer having a bad day and then something pushes him over the edge and he just starts crying for hotch or alex to make it better :( they’re so parental towards him it makes my heart happy - 🧃

just for you, my sweet lil juicebox angel!!! I hope it helps you feel better!! <3 <3 <3

----------

It was a bad day.

Typically he did his best think logically. Things happened for specific reasons, and if something didn’t go the way he intended, surely there was a way to fix it.

But he didn’t sleep well (again, really, he ought to be used to it by then, but still) and he woke up groggy and cranky, and Derek was in his way, and he just wanted to go back to bed but it wasn’t an option.

And his well-worn backpack popped the zipper again, dumping his things in a puddle on his way to breakfast, and it took him so long to gather everything up that he didn’t have time to eat.

And his homework was wet, and his math teacher wouldn’t accept it.

And he stayed late to redo his work, and he was so late for lunch he didn’t even bother to go.

And Neal and Dallas surrounded him during history class, stealing his pencils when he wasn’t paying attention to them, and when he paid attention they were the perfect students, and the second he let his guard down they were kicking his desk and flicking spitballs at him.

And he was a genius, everyone told him so, but that didn’t mean that everything came easily, and he got a high C on his English essay because sometimes the thoughts in his head didn’t always translate to paper, sometimes they spilled out tangled because he was ten years old and his brain wasn’t fully formed, less fully formed than the fourteen- and fifteen-year-olds who got the same grade on the same work.

He didn’t even feel like going to the library, he didn’t feel like reading. And he shouldn’t feel that way, bad days didn’t actually exist, he just needed to suck it up and be mature. He thought that maybe he could sneak into the amphitheater and study quietly on his own, but the second he got comfortably the skies opened, pouring rain on him, and by the time he made it back to Lincoln House he was drenched and cold, his hair plastered to his forehead and his uniform dripping dark puddles on the floor.

He trudged up the stairs to the seventh floor, gritting his teeth. There was no reason to get upset. He was mature. He was responsible. He fit in here. He just needed to keep it together.

The younger half of the group piled around the common room; Emily was painting her nails and the scent of the polish twisted into an irritated headache. He had to sidestep Penelope’s laptop left abandoned on the floor, and Derek’s heap of sports equipment, and the two of them were playing a bright colored videon game with JJ, shouting at each other, the piercing cheerful audio dialed up too loud and digging into his ears. 

“Oh, Spencer, there you are,” Emily said. “You mind taking a look at my trig homework? After what happened in class today I can’t afford to fuck up.”

His backpack fell to the floor with a wet splat. Emily didn’t look up from her nails. “It shouldn’t take too long,” she said. “I mean, shit, for you it’ll take about ten minutes.”

“And when you’re done, you can play on JJ’s team, she’s losing bad,” Derek laughed.

He didn’t want to look at her stupid trig homework. He didn’t want to play stupid video games. He was wet, and cold, and hungry, and his head hurt, and-

“I don’t want to!” he said, and he burst into tears.

The video game went silent instantly. Emily capped her nail polish and got up quickly from the table. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” she said. “What happened?”

“I had a bad day!” he sobbed. “And...and I want Alex!”

He buried his face in his hands and bawled. Any attempt at holding onto his composure was gone. He wasn’t a mature-for-his-age prodigy who could handle any unexpected stress thrown at him, he was only ten years old and he was over it.

Emily knelt down and gripped his elbows. “Okay, kiddo, take a breath,” she said. “You’re gonna make yourself sick.” He cried harder, his fingers beginning to pull at his hair, and he couldn’t stop. “JJ is calling Alex, she’s at the library, she’ll be here in a second, okay?”

He couldn’t stop crying, the dam had burst and he couldn’t stop crying. “Come here, munchkin,” Emily said, softer than he had ever heard her speak before, and he shoved her away and ran. He ran down the hall to his room and slammed the door, and he dropped on the floor without bothering to turn on the lights.

He didn’t want to be here anymore. His dad was right, he should have stayed in his own grade with other kids his age, he should have stayed home in Las Vegas...but his father was gone and his mother was gone and there wasn’t a home to go to anymore.

He could hear the other kids in the hallway, their voices too loud even though they tried to whisper.

“I’ve never seen him like this.”

“Is he okay? Should we be worried? I feel like we should worry.”

“Fuck if I know. I’ve never heard him ask specifically for anybody before.”

That was true. He’d never called for Alex before, or Hotch, or anybody. He couldn’t even remember calling out for his parents after a bad dream or getting sick in the middle of the night. But his exhausted little body was screaming someone come fix this, and Alex had never failed him before.

“Should we go in and check on him?”

“No way. Wait for Alex. Or Hotch. Do you know where he is?”

“RA meeting.”

“Shit.”

Spencer curled into a little ball and sobbed into the carpet, his wet clothes clawing at his skin, and the feeling overwhelmed him, twisting him tighter and tighter like a watch wound too tight, and crying didn’t make him feel any better.

The door creaked open. “Go away,” he sobbed. “Go away!”

Someone sat down beside him and touched the back of his head gently. “Spence, it’s me,” Alex said softly. 

He sat up, tears wet on his cheeks, his nose running, and he flung himself into her arms. She gathered him onto her lap, pressing his head to rest against her shoulder, and she let him cry.

He cried until his eyes were dry, almost painfully dry, and his throat ached. Alex rocked him a little, her arms secure and safe around him, and his breath caught in a shuddering sob without tears. 

The world began to settle back into place, like glitter in a snowglobe sifting back to the ground. He felt a little foolish now, the embarrassment of his temper tantrum sinking into his bones as his tossed thoughts began to fit together like puzzle pieces. But he couldn’t remember the last time that someone held him like this, letting him feel small and safe.

“Bad day?” she asked gently. He nodded. “That’s okay. Bad days happen. To everybody.”

He rubbed his cheek against her shoulder; the fabric of her blazer smelled like the library’s old books and the faint scent of her violet perfume. “I’m sorry I cried,” he whispered.

“Don’t be sorry,” she said. “You’re allowed to cry.” She kissed the top of his head, and he couldn’t remember the last time someone kissed him. “Do you feel better?” 

He sighed, shaky and tear-wet. “Uh-huh.”

“What else will help?” she asked. “What can I do to help?” He shrugged. “No, don’t do that. Don’t shut back down on me. Pick one thing. Tell me one thing I can do to help.”

He picked at the raw skin around his thumbnail. “I’m wet,” he said at last. “I got stuck in the rain.”

“You want to dry off and change your clothes?” she asked. He nodded. “Okay. We can do that.”

She lifted him gently off her lap and set him on the floor. He began to pull at his shoelace as she turned on the lights and rummaged through his dresser drawers.

The dry clothes helped; he was warmer now, and she’d picked out a soft tee shirt and a pair of flannel pajama pants, both with the labels cut out to keep from scratching at his skin. She smoothed out his wet hair, fixing the worst of the tangles. “Is that better?” she asked. He nodded. “What else can I do to help?”

“I’m hungry,” he said, and this time it was easier to say what he needed. 

Alex smiled. “We can do that,” she said, and he trusted her.

[glowingspence]

I am just gonna leave some moreid headcanons related to clothes here:

Spencer steals Morgan's clothes and includes them into his style until Hotch gives in and tells him that it is not acceptable anymore and that he can not wear sweatpants with a sweater vest and a tie to work nor that he can wear a hoddie over his dress shirts.

Morgan is forced to wear mismatched socks now too because Spencer keeps steeling one sock to mismatch it with his own. One day Morgan comes into work with one sock with dinosaurs on them and the other in purple with blue stripes. He hides his socks but Spencer somehow always finds them.

Spencer steals one of Derek's gray dress shirts, it has a nice fabric so Derek knows it's lost forever and has a hard time getting Spencer to wash it or even to take it off. (He is afraid it feel different after.)

Derek changes his washing powder once, Spencer starts crying so badly because Derek doesn't smell like Derek anymore he never changes it again. (Spencer later feels bad that he reacted like this but Derek assures him it's okay and encouraging to recall the things he read about the connection between emotions and scent. He still feels guilty after but not as bad anymore)

They have a hate love relationship with going shopping. Derek isn't that bothered by it itself, Spencer neither but they can only go when they have all day because Spencer walks through every isle and touches everything that looks like it will feel good to touch. Derek then has to deal with the outcome of him realizing how many germs he probably collected. He also doesn't always have the patience to wait for him to look at everything. (He still waits on Spencer knowing that he has a plan on how he wants to walk through the store the minute he enters it and can't change that then again.)

Spencer always thought that when Derek wears a suit that will be his favorite outfit on him. It isn't. He prefers Derek in only sweatpants walking around the house.

Spencer steals Derek's jacket in the winter because he is cold and then complains that Derek isn't wearing a jacket and that that is irresponsible.

I would love to hear yours. <3

[bi-and-bewildered]

Another headcanon:

(But only after wishing you success and all the strength you will need for your new "school" year)

Spencer is often scared he doesn't show his friends how much he loves and appreciates them. He doesn't like physical contact, he don't use nicknames and it doesn't feel right to him to just say the words "love you"

He doesn't know that the team already knows because he shows his love in other ways without even noticing.

Researching things the others mentioned once, inviting them to go to the movies with him or to his apartment when he notices they have a hard time and they are seeing that Spencer's rambles, even sometimes about things that aren't their interests is his way of communicating with them and telling them how much they mean to him by letting them be part of what makes him happy.

-🦖

this is absolutely so cute!

Spencer has trouble explicitly telling someone how much they mean to him, that’s never really been his kind of thing.

Instead he goes out of his way to include them or if their sad he’s not good at reassuring words but he always has a distraction prepared. He comforts and helps in his own way and everyone knows that.

[venusianelf]

The Living Weighted Blanket

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Autistic! Reader

Genre: Fluff, Only One Bed Trope

Summary: You’ve had a crush on Spencer for the longest time but have managed to keep it fairly hidden. What happens when you have to room with him for the night? Cuddles and fluff, that’s what!

Warnings: Reader isn’t written with any gender in mind, mentions of anxiety, some coercion of Penelope making the reader tell her who they has a crush on, reader is shy and a little awkward, some embarrassment when the team finds out, some swearing, a few uses of Y/n

Word Count: ~1,700

A/N: Spencer and the reader are established friends. I’m on season 6 so this is that version of the team. I tried to write more of the team into this one since the first one didn’t mention most of them. So I hope it’s fairly accurate to their characters. I’m also not super used to writing for Spencer either so hopefully it’s alright. I have no idea how I wrote another 1,000+ word fic but hell yea! Also, not my gif but I found it off Pinterest so :/

You had been working at the BAU for a year now and had a major crush on one Spencer Reid. The problem is there was no way in hell you were ever going to tell him. While you hated lying (and were pretty bad at it), you had to try your best because you couldn’t under any circumstances embarrass yourself. Although because the team knew of your autism and social anxiety it made it a little easier to hide. Avoiding eye contact? You were overwhelmed today. Blushing when he brought you coffee? You were shy anyways.

It worked out pretty well until it didn’t. That would be the day that your best friend Penny caught you daydreaming once again. “So sugar, what’s got you in wonderland today?” She smirked as you got pulled out of your thoughts. “Huh? Oh, nothing Pen.” “C’mon I know you better than that. You were obviously thinking about something. Ooh! Wait, lemme guess, were you daydreaming about Mister three PHDs? You two have been getting closer recently.” “What?! No, he’s just a friend!” You shrieked as you started picking at your nails. “Oh. My. God. You like him!” She squealed as she danced around her room. “Penny, I swear if you say anything to anyone on the team I will steal your glasses and hide them where you’ll never find them.” “Geez, that's harsh Y/n, but I promise these lips are sealed.” She said, motioning a zipper across her mouth. “Although I make no promise not to tell Kevin.” She giggled. “Fine but only him, if you tell Morgan or anyone else on our team your glasses will be gone.” I sighed, hoping she would be able to contain her excitement for new gossip.  “You got it, babe. Now tell me everything about your little crush.” She smiled as she sat back down next to me. 

Today we had a case in a small town in Oklahoma, which unfortunately meant social interaction with those outside of the team. Once we landed Hotch immediately sent Spencer and me to the station to set up shop. When we got there I realized we wouldn’t have our own office. I unconsciously started scratching myself at this realization. To which Spencer picked up quickly, “Hey, it’s going to be alright. You brought your ear defenders right?” He asked in a soft comforting tone. “I- Yeah, I brought them. I just don’t like being around all these people.” I replied as I tried to switch to rocking instead of scratching. “I know but it’ll be better tonight when we can have our own rooms at the hotel.” He said, calming my worries. 

As we settled in I got a few odd stares from my odd behavior but I did my best to ignore it. Spencer started on his geographical profiling and I started on going through the letters left by the unsub. Over a few hours, the team slowly tricked into the station with Hotch arriving last. “Guys, I have some bad news. They only had four open rooms at the hotel, so we’ll be two to a room.” Everyone groaned at Hotch’s proclamation but internally I started freaking out about who I would even room with. The girls were nice of course but other than Penelope I wasn’t close to them. “Hey, Y/n I can tell you’re panicking. If it helps you can room with me and I’ll take the couch.” Spencer said drawing me out of my worries. “Uhm, yeah that would help. Thank you, Spence.” “No Problem.” He replied, smiling warmly at me.

While I was somewhat flustered at the idea of sharing the room with my crush, it was still better than the anxiety of sharing with someone I wasn’t close to. As we got to our room Spencer went first to clean in the bathroom as I unpacked my things. I got out my book and headphones while I waited for him to finish. “What’re you reading?” He asked as he got out of the bathroom. “Hm? Oh, it’s American Gods by Neil Gaiman. Sorry, I didn’t hear you get out of the shower.” I replied, taking off my headphones and marking my place. “Well I would think with headphones on that it would be hard to hear that. Anyways, what’s it about?” He asked knowing that asking me about my interests helped me unwind. “Oh! It’s about this guy who gets out of prison early after his wife dies and then starts working for a mysterious guy who insists he’s a god. It’s kind of dark but it’s really good!” I rambled excitedly. “Hm, I don’t read fiction very much but if you say it’s good then I’ll have to check it out sometime.” He said as he started unpacking his things. “If you want you can borrow my copy when I’m done.” You offered as you started gathering your things to take a shower and get ready for bed. “I’ll take you up on that.” He smiled as he got comfy on the couch.

Once I was done with my shower and headed back out I noticed that Spencer seemed to be quite cramped as he tried to relax on the couch. I contemplated offering to share the bed with him before I decided fuck it, what’s the worst that could happen. “Hey Spence, if you’re uncomfortable on the couch you’re welcome to share the bed with me,” I said sheepishly as I put away my clothes from earlier today. “Are you sure? I know you aren’t too fond of people being too close.” He asked as he sat up. “Yeah, I’m sure. I don’t mind being close to you since we’re good friends.” I replied, getting in bed and patting the empty place next to me. “Alright, but let me know if you get uncomfortable.” He conceded as he climbed into bed next to me. 

After continuing to read for about an hour Spencer and I decided it was time to get some shut-eye. “Spence?” “Yeah Y/n?” “Um, could we cuddle if you’re okay with it? I always leave my weighted blanket at home since it’s so heavy but it makes me sleep worse without it.” I asked timidly. “Haha, yeah I’m okay being your weighted blanket.” He laughed as he put his arm around my waist and pulled me towards him. “You’re not just my weighted blanket.” I pouted. “Okay well, either way, I’m good with cuddling you if it means it’ll help you sleep.” He laughed as I could feel the reverberations in my body. It was oddly comforting. “Thank you,” I said softly before I shut my eyes. “Not a problem,” I vaguely heard him say as I felt him press a soft kiss to my head before I fell asleep.

When I woke the next morning I was surprised to find Spencer still asleep. Turning around in his grasp I mentally traced the features of his face. He looked so peaceful while he was asleep. Although slowly I felt him wake from my movements. As his eyes flickered open I hid my face in his chest. “Good morning,” He said as he brought his arm from my waist to my back as he drew circles. “Good morning,” I responded. “Is there a reason you’re hiding?” He asked, clearly amused. “Um, no reason.” I squeaked out as I hid further. He laughed as he moved his hand under my chin and pointed my face up towards his. “Hi,” I said shyly as I focused my gaze on his hair. “Hi there,” he responded, smiling playfully. He moved a strand of my hair behind my ear as he mapped my features.  “Y/n, I like you.” He breathed out, gazing into your eyes. Your eyes widened as you took in what he said. “I- Um, I like you too Spence.” You responded in kind as you went to hide in his shirt again. “Uh-uh, come back here,” He laughed as he cupped your cheek. “May I kiss you?” He asked as you shyly nodded. 

You felt his hot breath ghost over your lips before you felt the impact. His lips were way softer than you imagined they would be. The kiss was gentle and loving as if he was trying to convey his feelings to you through touch rather than words. As you two separated you hid back in his shirt. “Back into hiding, are you?” He laughed. “Mhm,” you nodded. “Alright well, pumpkin we need to get up now. I’d love to take you on a real date when we finish this case though.” He said running his fingers through your hair. “I’d love that,” You responded as he helped you out of bed.

When you met back up with the team for breakfast, you and Spencer were holding hands. “I told you! Oh my god, I need to call Penny!” Morgan laughed as he pulled out his phone. “Knock it off Derek, you’re gonna embarrass them,” Emily laughed as she turned to smile apologetically at you. “What? What are you guys talking about?” Spencer asked as you blushed and tried to distract yourself with your phone. “We all knew you two liked each other, and we had a bet going on whether or not sharing a room would force a confession. Plus we’re profilers, what did you expect?” Derek laughed as he got handed ten bucks from Rossi and five bucks from Emily. “That and Pen may have told us about your little secret,” JJ added apologetically, smiling at you. “I swear to the gods! I told her if she told anyone I’d hide her glasses!!” You shrieked as the crowd laughed. “Well that’s gonna be a sight to see,” Morgan laughed. “Either way, good for you kids,” Rossi smiled as he went back to his newspaper. “Agreed, just keep it professional when we need you two to be,” Hotch added, smiling at you two. “Of course,” You responded. As you looked over at Spencer he seemed to be more flustered by the situation than you were. You squeezed his hand and smiled as heartwarmingly as you could when he looked over to provide some semblance of comfort to his embarrassment.

[thewistlingbadger]

Some ralvez headcanons to end the day:

Spencer has a tv at his house but you can only watch VHS and CDs on it. So the first time he stays the night at Luke's, he's like "oh you have cable." Luke wakes up alone in bed. He walks into the living room to find Spencer sitting on the floor watching blue's clues (the old school one with Steve) or some other kid cartoon.

Luke can't pick a love language. He loves to hug and compliment Spencer. He loves to make him smile, whether it's a small grin or a wide open mouth smile. He loves paying attention to everything he does. And don't get me started on gifts! Chocolate, flowers, etc is what he gives him in the beginning. It overwhelms him at first. No one's ever been that way with Spencer. But then Luke gives him a stuffed animal and he loves it. Bows their bed is literally covered with stuffed animals bc he refuses to leave them all on the ground where they're at the mercy of Roxy.

And these stuffed animals are very much well thought of. Around Halloween they're Halloween themed. At Valentine's Day they're Valentine's Day themed. But in the summer, that's where he gets the ones he finds most interesting. He's gotten one of a toad, a chicken, a cow, a horse, you name it he probably has it.

Every Christmas they go to the Bronx to visit Luke's mom. Spencer never really has "been" to new york. Sure, they go every year for a case or two but he's never really been there as a tourist. Luke shows him all his favorite spots, they play in the snow, etc. Spencer's really proud at the Spanish he's able to speak, so is Luke. His mom can actually understand what he's trying to say. They stay at her apartment bc hotels in New York are expensive and when it starts snowing you cant go anywhere basically. They stay in Luke's old room and ofc there's banter about it. They drink coquito and Luke's mom tells Spencer stories about Luke's childhood and about her life. They pass down family traditions.

Luke doesn't like his other family too much so he tries his best to avoid him whenever he comes to town. They're really judgemental and he really doesn't want to hear about what they have to say on his autistic boyfriend.

If they get snowed in or they don't go to the Bronx for Christmas they stay inside all day with their fuzzy sweaters that Garcia knit them. They spend the whole day baking cookies and watching Christmas movies.

They also make sure to get Christmas pictures. I mean like, professional Christmas pictures. Ones where Roxy wears red bows in :)

Spencer gets a shit ton of gifts for Christmas it almost makes him uncomfortable. He gets books, puzzles, new clothes, fidget toys, new candles, new chess boards, and of course, stuffed animals. Spencer finds Luke incredibly hard to shop for but Luke doesn't mind and Spencer tries his best.

Luke has the gift of thinking that he's being super subtle when in reality he's being super obvious. He was like "hm. How do I hint to him that I want to move in together?" And then he just started stealing his shit. "Hey babe have you seen my toothbrush?" "TOOTHBRUSH? HMM IDK SPENCE. MAYBE WE SHOULD CHECK MY PLACE." "your place? Why tf would it be there?" "OH IDK-"

Luke loves Spencer's apartment tho. If they allowed dogs he probably would have moved in with him. He finds Spencer's apartment incredibly soothing. On their day off Luke asked him to hang out and he was like "yes! I'm finally gonna be in his apartment!! Victory for Luke Alvez!!" And then the second he walked in there he was like "whoa what is this book about?" And he spent the whole day just listening to Spencer explain all his things.

Spencer writes essay's on his spare time. Some of them he submits to colleges and research centers, some are for his own personal reasons, but he's wrote some just for fun. He notices how much Luke loves to hear him talk so he thinks "oh wow he must really like to learn!" So he prints out every analysis of every animation movie he's ever seen and gives it to Luke. Luke is amazed at this for many reasons and reads every last one of them.

When being with Derek, it was mainly the sports channel that kept him up. Derek was always trying to watch the games that he missed while on cases and he often got so sucked into them that he forgot Spencer was trying to sleep late at night. With Luke, it wasn't sports it was video games. It wasn't really that Luke was allowed during video games, it was often that everything else in the apartment was quiet and the tv being on 10 bothered him. But he'd often just grab his blanket and come to couch so he could watch Luke play.

If it's not video games, it the weekly novela. White people, they have book clubs. Spanish people? We have our telenovelas. Luke keeps up every week no matter what the case because he KNOWS that his mother is gonna call him and ask him about the show and if he says that he didn't watch it she'll be all dramatic. "¿Qué? ya no amas a tu madre?" "Mamá por favor, cálmate-" watching the telenovelas with Luke helped Spencer learn a lot of Spanish. Spencer has always secretly had a flair for dramatics (he only let this side of himself out with Emily) but he let it out with Luke while watching their shows. "Ay no Luke. ¡Ella NO solo se acostaba con su primo! tienes que estar bromeando, ¿qué pasa cuando se entera?"

Luke naturally is a goofball, he just didn't expect for Spencer to be such a goofball too. Spencer only really let that out when he was around Derek but it felt nice to let it out around Luke. Every weekend they would do something silly. Build a pillow fort and pretend that aliens where invading, try to bake things they've never made before without a recipe, sing with different accents as they slide across the hard wood floor in their socks, etc.

What Spencer loved to most about Luke was that he was a dreamer. He liked to dream about things that were impossible, dreaming about things he knew he'd never do. It was as if his mind was filled with wonder in the determination despite the fact that he had seen all that he seen in the world. They could literally stay up all night just because Luke kept asking him question after question like "what's the difference between hand soap and body?"

Luke sure did steal a bit of Spencer's personality. The more time he spent with him he started researching little questions that popped into his head. He started memorizing statistics of his own (yeah it was mainly to impress Spencer but he found it fun too.) He'd also start unconsciously copying the way Spencer talk and certain facial movements. The team comments on how he's starting to become more like him and Luke responds "you say that like it's a bad thing. I feel my brain expanding everyday i spend with him. I'm getting smarter :)"

Luke has a tendency for having no filter and being very with people he's close to. (Yes I'm saying neurodivergent luke alvez rights) he doesn't often realize that Spencer gets super tired at night. There's been many times where he's asked questions at the wrong time. Like when he layer upside down on their bed and asked Spencer if he wanted kids. Naturally, he got the reply of "it's 4:42 am go to bed Luke"

Luke's very open to trying new things. He's the first person who gets invited to Reid's and Penelope's "every Saturday hangout" (if you've seen my post on garceid headcanons you'd know what this is). It's a nice change of pace for Penelope and Spencer. They usually focus on each other but now they're like "how many things will Luke let us do?" Luke left Penelope's apartment that Saturday with black nails a skirt and lavender glitter eyeshadow.

They love to clean and bake together. Spencer loves healthy relationship feels like a fair trade-off. Spencer teaches Luke how to do some things and Luke teaches him how to do some things! (He taught Luke how to play chess. He's not very good at it.)

They get a house together eventually. They spend a shit ton of time on the landscaping bc Spencer wanted the outside of the house look a very particular sort of way. And Luke's not gonna deny his boyfriend that. Besides, he enjoyed seeing his scrawny boyfriend put his back into the yard work. There's probably a bench swing on the porch too.

I don't think either of them are opposed to being married but I can also see them just living their days out as being boyfriends forever.

Luke is super not judgemental and this makes it super easy for Spencer to open up to him. He probably tells him more secrets than he's told anyone on the team ever. He's very honest about how he used to be in love with Morgan and Luke doesn't judge him nor is he jealous.

When Luke sees Spencer with glasses for the first time he fuckin dies. He can't handle it. You will never meet someone as soft as Luke alvez.

Luke respects boundaries like crazy man. He has never not even ONCE joined Spencer for a shower bc Spencer didn't ask him to. It relieves Spencer a lot because in the past majority of his partners just did stuff without asking him about it first and he just had to pretend that he was okay with it. Like moving his shit around, or not putting the dirty dishes where they're supposed to be, for example.

They have inside jokes as well. The team has no idea what they're about but it just makes them smile.

[drreidsconverse]

Drreidsconverse’s master list!:

updated 8 april 2023

i havent published most of these yet they are chilling in my drafts waiting to be proofread

Personal shit!

—

Ivy speaks😗

#2

#3

#4

#5

—

^ - angst

! - fluff

* - authors choice

Criminal minds

Spencer Reid x reader

Fics

She’s gone?:(^*) Spencer x fem! Reader

Sneak peek

Summary: spencer and the reader relationship has been a good one up until this point.they never had a problem they only had minor fights that were stupid and irrelevant, they were soulmates. but things changed when the new girl showed up, when she spoke to hotch that morning, and when she took down unsub herself. they changed the most when everyone showed up even the new girl on her day off, but she and morgan didn’t.

Imagines

Love song: (!)- song fic (based on love song by sara bareilles) « Spencer x gn! Reader »

Summary: reader accidentally lets her secret hobby slip out, now spencer wants the reader to write him a love song.

Cue the rain:(*) - song fic « autistic! Gn!Reader », for:

Summary- reader and Spencer and reader try to navigate the weather and their budding relationship

Legally blonde:(^/!)- song fic « fem reader »

Summary- reader looks like nothing more than a pretty face, she modeled in high school, was prom queen and homecoming queen, a near perfect beauty queen, who’s an a student at Harvard? Spencer tries to talk the reader out of leaving her dream school because of one stupid teacher.

2847221 (^) « gn! Reader »

summary- I don’t even know how to describe what I wrote honestly. Spencer and jj break your head but you’ll be okay, I think..

Aaron Hotchner x reader:

Fics:

Underground:(^) 6 underground x cm « fem reader »

Summary- (y/n) left the bau a little over a year ago with an offer from the cia to be apart of an elite team ,the horsemen, but she’d have to ‘die’ to do it. And what she has with Aaron can’t leave his office, not with him still being married. (Y/n)’s dead now but why is she on Emily’s doorstep, alive and well?

Imagines

Partner?: (!pure fluff!)« gn! reader »

Summary- hotch had a partner, it was obvious, the man who never smiled had been smiling much more than normal, and Garcia was determined to get it out of him as soon as possible.

Elle Greenaway x reader:

Imagines

Intimidating(!)- elle x plus size! fem! reader,

Intimidating v2(!)- elle x fem! reader

Intimidating v3(!)- elle x male! reader

Summary- reader finds Elle beautiful yet intimidating, and has no clue how to approach her.

Speak now: (^angsty fluff!)- elle x fem! Reader,

Summary- elle isn’t the type of girl to rudely barge in on a white veil occasion, but the priest said “speak now.”

Heaven in hiding- (elle x fem! reader) 

summary: Elle and (y/n) have been seeing each other in secret not wanting people to know about their relationship, at least not yet. (y/n)’s ready to tell people about her girlfriend, so is elle. But a homophobic unsub may change those plans.

Elle Greenaway x reader x Spencer Reid

Fics:

Plane rides home: (^/!) elle x gn! reader x spencer

Summary: the plane ride home was a good way for the team to get to know the newest member of the team, (y/n), elle and Spencer both take an immediate liking to the reader but does she need to choose one of them? Or should they just sleep on the plane rides home?

Penelope Garcia x reader

Head canons:

(Csi miami x criminal minds) Dating Penelope and working a case together: penny x fem! Reader

Part 1, part 2, part 3

Summary: you’re a csi in Miami and penny works at quantico, so you don’t see each other much nor do your co workers know about your relationship, until you have to work a case together.

Derek Morgan x reader

Nothing yet!

David Rossi x reader

Nothing yet!

Jennifer “jj” jareau x reader

Nothing yet!

Luke Alvez x reader

Imagines:

Burnt cookies and Batman: (!pure fluff) « gn! reader »

Summary: Luke rarely gets a day off, so when he does they bake cookies and watch Batman

George Foyet x reader

I know I know dont judge me

Imagines:

Like a dream: (fluff/smut i think?) « fem! reader »

summary: You were a rare commodity at the hotchner house as you were away for college, but when you were there was and foyet happy to see you. You were a new face, something different, like a breath of fresh air for the reaper. His only problem with making you his, Aaron Hotchner. But he would have his something different, his breath of fresh air. You were like a dream, his own personal dream.

Matt Simmions x reader

Nothing yet!

Bau x reader:

Most of these fics could be an !x character!, it could also be a standalone fic! Ex) she’s gone will have separate character chapters and may hold alternative endings

Fics:

Now you see me:(^) (derek x fem! reader)

Summary: (y/n) resigned after 8 years at the bau, exactly six months after her brothers murder. it was a surprise to everyone when the showed up on Monday to an empty desk with handwritten notes for each of them. However derek was surprised the most, his girlfriend of three years just left them and didn’t even bother to run it by him. She dropped off the grid too, sending occasional letters and gifts to the team. Sure the murder had changed her it’d change anyone, they just didn’t know it’d change her enough to become 1 of 3 unsubs with identical killing patterns.

She’s gone?: (Spencer x fem reader):

she’s gone will have separate character chapters (detailing friendships, daily life, their side of the story, what if’s, and police reports) and may hold alternative endings ( how it ends for said character/ what changes)

Summary: spencer and the reader relationship has been a good one up until this point.they never had a problem they only had minor fights that were stupid and irrelevant, they were soulmates. but things changed when the new girl showed up, when she spoke to hotch that morning, and when she took down unsub herself. they changed the most when everyone showed up even the new girl on her day off, but she and morgan didn’t.

Imagines:

Sherwood, Ohio in North mammon « gn! reader »: (*) (takes place in 2x7)

Summary: when (y/n) and two friends were juniors in high schools they were kidnapped, held in a cellar for nearly a week, starved, and forced to off one of their best friends. (Y/n) never mentioned it, and no one but Gideon and Hotch knew of the gruesome events. (Y/n) had blocked the events from memory as they were to traumatic for the brain to process. But now the team is working a case that feels as if (y/n) is reliving the situation.

These are alternative endings for: Sherwood, OH in north mammon

Sherwood, OH in north mammon « derek x reader »

Sherwood, OH in north mammon « jj x reader »

Sherwood, OH in north mammon « hotch x reader »

Headcanons

Family dinner at Rossi’s: « gn! reader »

Summary- as the title suggests

Garcia and the wap song: « gn! reader »

Summary: Garcia calls morgan, morgan puts the phone on speaker and doesn’t tell penny, penny starts reciting the lyrics to wap by Megan these stallion and cardi b.

Marvel

imagines:

Star crossed: dark! druig x reader

Scream

imagines

head cannons

dating billy and stu

miscellaneous

ben hardy x fem!reader

manhattan

summary: he can have Manhattan, cause she can't have him.

(A/N): want to be added to my tag list? Just send me a message or reply or who or what fic!

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Hi! You often give alot of insight into anons like this and your my fave CM blog so that's why I'm here! So I'm finishing up the last seasons (and lord it is hard to get through) and they just introduced Max and I cannot stand her. She was just so rude and it felt like she had 2 different personalities the entire time she was on screen. And I worried that this meant I was like hating women because I don't like other female characters like Maeve, JJ, Hailey, and Seaver. But then I started thinking and I honestly think it's cause these Characters are women poorly written by men. But then I wondered how they created likeable Characters like Emily, Kristy, Blake, Tara, and Penelope (leaving out others like Savannah because they're under developed in my opinion) I don't know what's the difference in the writing for these Characters or of there isn't any at all and I'm just being hateful in a way. What are your thoughts?

Ah, I think about this a lot. Thank you for thinking I’m interesting enough to answer this, also!

I think you’ve really hit the nail on the head with the writers doing a poor job at most of their female characters. However, I think it’s possible (and very common in this fandom) for people to dislike any character Spencer showed an interest in, which is also problematic and rooted in internalized misogyny. To me, it all comes down to why you dislike the characters.

(A LOT More Below - Bit of a Rant)

The first step I took when reflecting to see if this was my problem was rewatching and seeing which female characters I loved. Along with the ones you listed, I also found a number of side characters I greatly enjoyed, including Lila, Austin, Dr. Linda Kamura (from Amplification, the anthrax episode), Einstein, Megan Kane, and a few other random case characters. So, right off the bat I found multiple characters who Spencer showed an affinity for. I also greatly enjoyed Cat’s character, although I found her to be underdeveloped in canon (Fanon has done a good job, IMO) and often contradictory in her character design.

If you didn’t like any of these women, and your reason is related purely to Spencer’s reactions to them, chances are you might be suffering from a bit of jealousy rather than improper character design - not that you need to like them all (or the ones that I like), but because they are all very different. You should, theoretically, find something to enjoy about at least one of them.

But the CM Writers have a TERRIBLE habit of writing women that are easy to hate.

There’s a bunch of controversy I see over Haley Hotchner, but the truth is that they wrote her to be hated. That was her sole purpose. Her character’s decisions were poorly thought out and she was shown to be malicious 80% of the time. This was intentional. She was written to personify the trope of the nagging housewife. If you dislike her, you have done nothing but follow the narrative.

That being said, you should also criticize why they wrote her this way. Because it didn’t make any sense. She married a prosecutor - a dangerous, time consuming job. She had Jack when she knew he was with the BAU. Why did she randomly change her tune? Why did she suddenly demand he gives up on his dreams that she was fully aware of for years? I’d argue they wrote it like this to further the narrative of “the wife who traps you with a child to force you to do what she wants” which is garbage writing. I wish people could look at the potential she had if they hadn’t written her like... that.

Maeve, I find, is problematic on multiple aspects and I’ve talked about it before. Her narrative was poorly thought out because as soon as they pitched the idea of a long-term love interest for Spencer, everyone (most notably Gubler) rejected it. They didn’t think it was necessary for his character, who already had a lot going on with the ignored plot lines of his drug addiction and mother.

There were multiple problems associated with her character that were never addressed. The fact she essentially just took advantage of a patient because she was bored, she seemed to “correct” his interests and show annoyance when he disagreed with her, she lied about having a fiance, she was shown to be considering breaking up with him... there’s a lot.

Her character is poorly written. It had a lot of potential, but they just kind of stopped caring once they decided to kill her off. She had more faults shown on screen than redeeming qualities. For many, they liked her because they see there was a potential that we’ll never see (fair). But for people like me, we interpret it as a idealized fantasy of what could have (but probably wouldn’t have) been, which is not healthy for Spencer.

JJ is an interesting character because you can feel the constant struggle between AJ Cook and the writers. They really sabotaged JJ at every step of the way. I’ll be honest and say that I think there are some reasons to hate JJ, but they aren’t the reasons I see most often. Almost all of the JJ hate I see is surrounding the idea that JJ is an evil, manipulative, jealous bitch. But.. she’s not. Even in Truth or Dare, when she pulls that asshole move that was wildly OOC for JJ (in my opinion), she isn’t shown to be jealous or cruel about it.

I think she’s the most likely target for people who’s hatred is driven from jealousy or disliking conventionally attractive women and assuming them to be bitchy by nature of looking “beautiful.” I think Lila Archer* also falls into this category.

But as I said, JJ was also written with a lot of flaws. I think it’s fair if you don’t like her character or the way she treats Spencer, but I also hope that you similarly criticize the whole team in the same way, and don’t just pity Spencer because he is smol uwu babie who needs protection.

(* Yet another reminder that I ask everyone to not message me about J Depp or Amber Heard. Reactive Abuse is an extreme trigger for me and I will block you if you try to get me to talk about it)

Seaver got a lot of hate based off one line of dialogue. I think it was a bad line. If they had left it out, there would be essentially no reason in my mind to dislike Seaver. I used to dislike her a lot, but the more I rewatch the show, the less she bothers me. She was just a young student who wanted to learn about her father/herself. She was MASSIVELY underdeveloped because they kicked her off just as quickly as they invited her in.

NO character was developed that quickly. Her scenes were a bit cringey and the plotlines were bad, and her character was mediocre. I don’t think she deserves the hate she gets. She is a lukewarm character.

I hate everything Max’s character represents. She was introduced to show that Spencer could be trained to be “normal” and it’s anti-autistic bullshit. She had no personality besides “I hate my low-brow job as a teacher and couldn’t be fucked to change it until a man told me I was smart.” She was cracking high-school-clique jokes while her family was about to be murdered. She immediately abandoned said family to make out with her boyfriend who just admitted to enjoying kissing the woman who tried to murder her family.

Her character makes absolutely zero sense. I do not understand how she is so liked. I really don’t (other than the fact that RLC is absolutely wonderful).

If they had left her character out, I think we would have been better off for it. We could have seen Spencer wrestle with defining himself by the women in his life and learning to love himself (without just replacing those women with... another... woman...)

That being said, those who cling to Max for hope of a happy ending for Spencer... I felt that. Fanon and fanfic can solve all character deficiencies. I believe in you.

So, yeah. I’d say if you’re worried about why you dislike women characters, you’re probably on the right path. I’d just reflect on why you dislike the characters you do and whether they are written as misogynistic stereotypes. It makes complete sense to reject characters written for the purpose of making you hate them, but we should all pour one out for the brilliant actresses that had characters with so much potential if not for men ruining it.

[makaylajadewrites]

Another Aspect

Hi all! I wrote this work for @endingsbeginnings​ - I hope you all enjoy!

Pairing: Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid

Tags: Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Autism, Autistic Spencer Reid, Established Relationship

Summary: Spencer has a meltdown on the job, but Derek is there to help him through it.

Word count: 1173

Read on AO3 here

It was a bad one. No amount of blood or gore fazed Spencer, but something about kids always seemed to get to all of them. Not just any kids - autistic kids, and other special needs children who were snatched on their ways to and from school, only for their bodies to be found nearly twenty-four hours later. Evidence of sexual assault was left on every body, most of which were male, but this unsub did not discriminate against gender. It seemed he was not preferential, and most of them hypothesized that choosing special needs kids made the abductions easier, and Spencer was so incredibly disgusted by the mere thought. How could anyone do those things to a defenseless child?

He was reaching his breaking point. The overwhelming urge to stim was encroaching on him, and he could tell that he was on the verge of a complete and total meltdown because the details of this case were harrowing and he felt so helpless, since all of the leads they had followed thus far ended up going nowhere. Already, a child had died while they were on the case. Seeing his distressed parents crumble against each other as JJ delivered the unfortunate news, through the glass windows of the conference room was heartbreaking. His hands were trembling already. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know.

But then there was Morgan… Derek Morgan, his partner, whom he absolutely adored. Fortunately for Reid, the feelings were very mutual; they had been dating for about ten months now, naturally gravitating towards each other after Tobias Hankle. There was just something they saw in each other, a sense of belonging, of home, that made it work, even though most would look at them and see polar opposites. But they were happy together, and Spencer had never before been in a relationship where his partner was so understanding of his autistic traits - it was like Morgan didn’t even consider it a problem like most did, but rather, he accepted it as another unique aspect of Spencer.

He and Prentiss had just returned from their canvas of the latest crime scene. Prentiss went off to join Rossi in his endeavor through the old case files, and Morgan rejoined with him at their space in the middle of the police department. Spencer had been sitting in that exact spot for at least ten minutes, although he wasn’t entirely sure since he lost track of time when he was in his own head, attempting to escape from the chaos of sensory hell all around him. There were so many people, all around him, so u

“You got anything, Reid?” Derek asked, sounding a bit exacerbated, most likely because nothing had turned up from their investigation at the crime scene. Reid couldn’t find it in himself to respond right away, but when his lips parted, the most horrific thing occurred;

“You got anything, Reid?” He responded effortlessly, his eyes widening in realization at what he had done. He was immediately overcome with embarrassment, his hands balling into fists over his legs. His lower lip began to tremble.

“Okay, it’s okay, baby… Why don’t we go somewhere quiet, okay?” Morgan said, reaching a hand out to allow Spencer to initiate contact himself. Spencer looked up at him, biting his lips to prevent himself from talking, because he knew very well that he would only repeat what Morgan was saying to him. He couldn’t help it - sometimes his brain just overused itself so much that finding words of his own was too difficult, and instead found comfort in repeating what he heard. His hands fidgeted in his lap still, and he stared at the extended hand with an expression somewhere between fear and trepidation. He slowly took it though, standing up with Morgan’s help. As soon as he was standing though, he recoiled rather violently, and instead chose to follow Morgan away from the bustling center of the police department and into an unused office that was dark and empty.

Once inside, Morgan closed the door behind them, pulled the blinds and, without touching the younger man, guided Spencer to sit down on the small sofa inside. Spencer did so, wordlessly, pressing his ever-twitching hands in between his thighs.

“You’re okay, Spencer,” Morgan said to him, crouching down in front of him and opening up his messenger bag, digging around for a stim toy.

“You’re okay, Spencer,” Reid repeated immediately, raising a hand up since he was unable to resist the urge to chew on his finger, nibbling lightly and reveling in the slight discomfort it gave him. Derek glanced up from the bag, a chewable necklace in his hand, the rubber piece blue and shaped like a crystal.

“Hey, hey, don’t hurt yourself, use this instead,” Derek said, holding the necklace up to him but refraining from touching him still - Spencer couldn’t be more grateful. He took the necklace instantly and pressed the chewable toy into his mouth, biting down on it in a constant rhythm, humming quietly in the back of his throat. His hands reached for Derek’s, and even as surprised as he was, Derek held his hands up slowly. Spencer laced their fingers together, squeezing his hands in a pattern mirroring his biting. Squeeze, relax; bite, relax…

About seven minutes later, Spencer’s mind had calmed down, his hands slightly shaking in Derek’s before he lifted one, taking the chewable out of his mouth and slipping it into a baggy in his messenger bag. He would have to wash it later, when they got to the hotel… But that was the least of his concerns. He met Derek’s gaze, and he smiled slightly, Derek squeezing their hands that were still joined.

“How are you feeling?” He asked him, his voice low and calming, and Spencer licked his lips before reaching a hand up to brush his hair away from his face.

“Better…” he said, matching Morgan’s quiet volume. Derek smiled, and as he began to pull his hand away, Spencer immediately pulled it up towards his face, resting his cheek against Derek’s knuckles.

“D-Derek, I…” Spencer started, looking down briefly before raising his gaze to meet Derek’s dark, gentle eyes once more, Thank you.”

“No need to thank me,” Derek said simply, brushing his knuckles over Spencer’s cheekbone, “If you need some more time, no one will think any different. But if not, let’s get this son of a bitch.”

Spencer nodded and with a new sense of determination, followed Derek out of the empty office. God, I love that man, he thought with a content smile, and when they rejoined the team in the department, Spencer approached the map with a new thought in mind, and within ten seconds, he was spouting off a new theory to their team, and he could have sworn he saw a proud smile twitching at the corner of Derek’s lips.

Needless to say, Spencer’s insight led them straight to the unsub, and they boarded the jet that night, arriving home the next morning.

[hotchley]

i saw your reblog of the Spencer giving Aaron a father's day card thing and i can't stop thinking about how Aaron is the father figure to the entire team now.

(yes I'm also especially thinking about that one scene of Spencer and Derek stuck in the malfunctioning lift shrieking for Aaron just because. 🥴 dad!Hotch ftw!!!!!)

i know this concept has probably been done hundreds of times already but imagine: (SORRY THIS IS GOING TO BE A REALLY LONG ASK, I deeply apologise in advance)

[tw food/eating habits, some references to murder cases because you know this is Criminal Minds, some slight spoilers for people who haven't really watched the show and also reference & mention of autism & a character on the autism spectrum -> just a heads up, a disclaimer, I'm in no way diagnosed with autism, so if i have misrepresented autism, or made any mistakes, i apologise, it wasn't my intention, and i welcome all feedback & criticism — i genuinely want to learn]

a year after Spencer joins the BAU, Aaron notices & becomes very concerned over Spencer's (super bad) eating habits aka him only drinking coffee and forgetting to eat actual proper food when he gets absorbed in cases or research or reading etc -> which results in Aaron absolutely being like "hey Spencer let's grab lunch together" almost everyday just so Spencer eats (healthy, full meals)

(also Spencer picking up on this after Aaron "casually" gets him lunch/treats him to dinner/invites him over for meals for almost every day of the week and he was initially almost irritated/offended until he realised he could use Aaron's habit to make Aaron himself eat properly too because this hypocritical bastard doesn't eat properly himself either so every alternate day you can see Spencer purposely not going for lunch breaks while sneaking glances at Aaron's office just waiting for him to notice and drag them both to lunch together 😌)

also I really think Spencer is on the autistic spectrum (high functioning, imo, but I'm not really sure how this works, and I'd have to do more research) so I'd like to imagine Aaron knows that too because he's noticed Spencer's behaviors + Spencer got an official diagnosis and told him about it maybe 6-7 months into joining the BAU so I really think Aaron lets Spencer stim (physically, his hand gestures) on their lunch break because he knows that Spencer can't really do that in front of the others, so even when they're on cases, he would take Spencer out either for a private lunch or dinner or something, just the two of them, and he'd let Spencer stim & talk about any subject of his fancy as much as he wants to (I'm pretty sure someone wrote a fic like this and I absolutely can't remember the name or the author but I really LOVED the idea too)

initially Spencer was really taken aback too, because you know, this isn't something you do with your boss, of all people, but Hotch had always meant what he says and his facial expression and body language suggested that he was being absolutely sincere and serious about this, so Spencer tentatively started talking, and as their meal progressed, he eventually got comfortable enough to just go on, and not once did Aaron cut him off rudely, until the end of their meal, when Aaron couldn't continue to pretend to drink his soup because he'd finished it somehow with those incredibly small spoonfuls, and he'd had to gently tell Spencer that they had to go back, but Spencer wasn't upset, because he'd just got over an hour to talk about this recent seminar about the connection of ancient Greek mythology to the developments of the society in ancient Greece which no one had ever done for him before and he's full, satisfied and beyond elated because Hotch really didn't have to do this, but he did anyways

at first it was just something between them but eventually Derek noticed & like in the end I think it's a kind of open secret between Aaron, Spencer & Derek and now when Derek notices Aaron doing it he gives Aaron a small nod and he wards off & deals with the questions that the others have when they inevitably notices the private meals Aaron & Spencer has

speaking of Derek, Aaron definitely has 1 on 1 time with Derek too, but doing different things. Derek's thing is sports & home renovations, and he repairs/maintains cars & bikes when he can, and I like to imagine Aaron knowing about his hobbies and casually asking Derek about the home renovation he's working on one time (before or early S1) Derek came into his office to submit a case file, and Derek being kind of shocked/caught by surprised initially (because he knows Hotch has a soft spot for the kid because he's much younger and much, much more inexperienced but Derek's older and should know better, so Hotch won't do the whole private lunch thing with him, right?) but then he grins and starts telling Aaron about how "I got that place absolutely shining right now, man" and then he invites Aaron over to take a look at the place out of courtesy/habit (his mama raised him as a good, polite young man, and no way Hotch would even say yes right?) and to his surprise once again, Aaron does accept his invitation

after that one time, Aaron begins casually asking him about his projects and even starts offering to help him do some of the painting and decorating (to be fair, it calms Aaron too, to have a getaway from Haley and initially from the crying baby, because while he absolutely loved Haley and Jack with all his heart, some days, some days he just couldn't take it, all the stress from Strauss and from trying to be a good father unlike his own, and he had to take some time off to himself, and painting walls is calming and therapeutic to him in some sense) & Derek and Aaron start bonding over hotdogs while sitting out on the front porch of some halfway remodelled house, talking about the latest sports news (they support different baseball teams but that's okay, because Derek gets to grin at Hotch and ask him to pay up when Hotch's team loses to his, and Aaron gets to raise his eyebrows with that small knowing smirk of his and ask Derek to "complete this by the next weekend, will you" when Derek's team loses to his)

when Aaron recruits Penelope, he's read her file, or what little the FBI's cyberteam got on her anyways. he knows the Black Queen's reputation, and he knows that the cyberteam really don't trust her and recommended high levels of surveillance, but the moment he saw her through the glass of the interrogation room and her resume & application on pink paper, he knew that she's not just what the file said she is. initially, she sticks to the "bureau regulated office attire" because you know, Penelope knows she's lucky, she should've been jailed for what she did, she was jailed, until this Aaron Hotchner guy decided, somehow, that she was deserving to be on his team, even after looking at her resume, which she had written on pink paper out of pure spite (because nothing in the FBI rulebooks said anything about submitting your application on specialized coloured paper anyways) but she was moody and unhappy because she's stuck in this tiny office having to answer the phone whenever agents called to ask for details on icky, gruesome murders and disgusting, vile murderers so she decides that hey, since no one ever comes in here anyways, she might as well do some re-decorating right? so she starts bringing in her own soft toys and figurines and starts amassing a whole collection of soft, plushy, and colourful toys in because it's her office and if she has to deal with all these yucky stuff on a daily basis she's going to make it at least bearable to be in here

one day, some tall, stern looking guy just comes into her office with this Tupperware in his hands saying "hey, Garcia right? my wife made some extra cupcakes for the team, you want some?" and she asks "do i know you?" and he blinks, stands there for one, two seconds before- "sorry, i forgot we haven't actually met. Special Supervisory Agent Aaron Hotchner, assistant unit chief of BAU Team 1, nice to meet you," [i like to headcannon that before Boston & all, Hotch was Gideon's assistant, some kind of assistant unit chief probably, but while he wasn't yet the unit chief he was definitely taking care of most, if not all of the administration matters i.e. hiring new agents etc already because let's be real Gideon is caring & capable but really hands off sometimes (also in S1E1 Derek referred to Gideon as their Unit Chief so I assumed Hotch took over the position full time, officially somewhere between S1E1 and S1E2 or 3)]

and then Garcia's brain kind of short-circuits because holy shit this is her BOSS, aka the guy who somehow, crazily looked at her resume and decided to HIRE her and she just asked him if she knew him OH GOD ALL THOSE FIGURINES- and she tries to explain because she really didn't mean to break any rules with them and they aren't, are they? and she can remove them but just, please, she can't go back to prison.

but then Agent Hotchner just goes "hey, hey, Penelope. it's fine. I understand. this is your office, and you have the right to decorate it. I'm not going to fire you over.... My Little Ponies? and uh, some unicorns?" and Penelope can't help but laugh because he genuinely looks baffled by her collection on her desk, and did he just call her Penelope?

and after that, once, after a bad case that Aaron knew affected Penelope (it involved murdered parents & their only child left orphaned and it just hit too close to home for Penelope), he stopped by a local toy shop and bought the brightest, most sparkly, most colourful thing he could find in there (it ended up being a small figurine of a princess on a small, detachable throne that could light up and play some really funky pop music. Aaron cringed internally as he brought it over to the counter, and awkwardly nodded as the cashier asked, "buying this for your daughter, sir? she's going to love it, it's the latest in a collectable series" and he pretended to not see the questioning eyebrow that Derek gave him after seeing the package) and when he presented it to Penelope when they got back, he got the biggest and most bone crushing hug ever from Penelope because "aw that's so sweet, thank you! and you got me the latest in the collection! it's limited edition!" and it just ended up becoming a tradition — Penelope always looks forward to the end of a case now, not only because that means her people are coming home, safe, in one piece (sometimes debatable but still, they're coming home, to her) but it also means that Hotch has brought her yet another tiny figurine or souvenir to add to her collection and she can't wait to see what it is, and Hotch always, always, finds the time after they've wrapped up the case, before the jet leaves, to pop by a local toy shop to get both Penelope and later, when he's older, Jack some toys or souvenir from wherever state he's in, because he wants both of them to know, that despite all the bad out there, there is still good in the world, and they should never forget that

OKAY this ask is SUPER LONG already i apologise skfjsk i have ideas for JJ & Emily but idk if you'd even wanna continue reading them... (maybe.... give me a sign and I'll send another ask and write it? 🥴)

anyways this was just something that came up and i had to write it out 🥺 sorry for spamming you, i hope you're having a great day/night ahead.

- 🌙

Hi so I'm putting everything below the cut for scrolling purposes x

He is!!

Oh my god, I love that scene. It came up in a TikTok about ships, because Person A and Person B are both very smart when they're alone, but put them together and it cancels out, and it made me laugh.

I also love Dad Hotch. Like I love him as much as I love "fighting to keep his emotions in check because he needs to be a leader, but you can tell from the slight change in tone, or the slight glaze of his eyes that he's seconds away from crying" Hotch. Which is saying something.

DON'T APOLOGISE FOR LONG ASKS!! That's what the keep reading on posts is for :))

Oh I love how much Hotch cares about Reid, and of course Reid uses it to his advantage to get Hotch to do the same, because they're similar in that way. Also, he would definitely start grinning when Hotch looks down at his empty plate like: oh. Platonic Hotchreid is everything to me, because it's these two people that have been caretakers their entire life trying to look after another person that wouldn't let anyone do that and it's just... the HOTCH ANGST POTENTIAL THAT IS SO UNTAPPED!!!

Also, not a criticism of you, but from what I've heard from people is that functioning labels are harmful and shouldn't be used because it misrepresents the situation!

I love that idea though!! And Derek being protective over them so he's just like: no, you won't interrupt them, and I will take control of the situation for a few hours AAH!!

OH I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT MORGAN AND HOTCH BONDING!! It's so perfect!! I love the idea of Morgan teaching Hotch to do things, and Hotch realising how relaxing he finds it to do these things.

And because we can't have nice things: he refuses to go after Foyet breaks into his apartment because he doesn't deserve peace, but then Morgan just uses his key, drags him out, takes him to a house and presses a brush into his hand because he's not going to let his friend self destruct like this.

EVERYTHING ABOUT GARCIA!! OH MY GOD!! I need to get some work done, so I'm going to finish up there, but seriously!! Amazing!! I love the idea of Hotch getting her little figurines and stuff <33

(shameless self promo, she does the same for him in "and he will come back home" hehe)

I would love to hear the Emily and JJ ones!! I hope that's the sign you need :)

Don't apologise for spamming I was having a dull day, and I hope you have a good day too!

[orion-kenobi]

It seems my recent post was taken the wrong way by some people, so I’m going to clear up any confusion.

When I wrote that post I specifically had in mind people who claim that because Reid isn’t explicitly stated to be autistic disliking him for his neurodivergent traits isn’t ableist, essentially implying people who think Reid is autistic were upset over others disagreeing with their headcanon. What I was saying is that Spencer’s traits aren’t interpreted or headcanoned as autistic traits, they are autistic traits because that is how the writers wrote him.

Let’s say I make a character who’s got all the symptoms of adhd, but I never intended or even knew the traits I was giving this character were traits of adhd. That’s completely different than me researching adhd for the purpose of creating a character with it and saying, “Yes, this character has adhd.” The latter is what the criminal minds writers did. It’s implied as early as the fifth episode that Reid is autistic, so clearly when Reid’s character was created he was purposefully written as autistic.

I have no problem with people who don’t see Reid as autistic, but I personally think it’s incorrect to say there’s no valid basis for doing so. It’s perfectly fine to think, in response to the writers and Matthew saying Reid is autistic, “I don’t see him that way.” That’s fine, but I think it should at least be acknowledged that the writers have said multiple times that he is.

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

Three in the Morning Nonsense

Three in the Morning Nonsense https://ift.tt/TaPz5qh by AtticusAreola I honestly don't have an explanation for this, Sertraline gives you the craziest dreams, so here we are. This is a multifandom collection of one-shots that I wrote at three am, I probably won't do more with them but I needed them out of my head. Words: 17355, Chapters: 7/?, Language: English Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005), Once Upon a Time (TV), Hellsing, The Witcher (TV), Criminal Minds (US TV), Call of Duty (Video Games), Five Nights at Freddy's, Avatar (Cameron Movies) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Original Children of Bobby Singer and Karen Singer, Castiel (Supernatural), Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan, Jake Sully, Original Female Character(s), Captain Hook | Killian Jones, Emma Swan, Henry Mills (Once Upon a Time), Evil Queen | Regina Mills, Alucard (Hellsing), Integra Hellsing, Seras Victoria, Father Anderson, Eskel (The Witcher), Lambert (The Witcher), Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon, Simon "Ghost" Riley, John Price (Call of Duty), John "Soap" MacTavish, Gary "Roach" Sanderson, Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan (Criminal Minds), Aaron Hotchner, Henry Emily Relationships: Dean Winchester/Original Female Character(s), Castiel/Dean Winchester, Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan/Original Female Character(s), Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Original Character(s), Alucard (Hellsing)/Original Character(s), Alucard/Integra Hellsing, Eskel & Lambert (The Witcher), Eskel (The Witcher)/Original Female Character(s), Spencer Reid/Original Female Character(s), Simon "Ghost" Riley/Original Female Character(s), Michael Afton/Original Female Character(s) Additional Tags: What Have I Done, The Author Regrets Everything, One Shot, Random & Short, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Quote: I Have A Bad Feeling About This (Star Wars), References to Game: FNAF World (Five Nights at Freddy's 2016), Witchers Need Hugs (The Witcher), Autistic Spencer Reid, Soft Simon "Ghost" Riley, Lieutenant John "Soap" MacTavish, Game: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare II (2022), Author Has Played Call of Duty, Vampires, Mommy Issues, Daddy Issues, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, One Shot Collection, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Smut, Mild Sexual Content, Alien Culture, Religious Content, Na'vi Culture (Avatar - Cameron), It's Not Paranoia If They're Really Out To Get You, Supernatural Elements, Canon-Typical Violence, Not Beta Read, Inspired by Swan Princess (1994) via AO3 works tagged 'Castiel/Dean Winchester' https://ift.tt/KivUujG November 14, 2023 at 06:39PM

[alisonsfics]

hi! i’ve just been reading through all of your criminal minds works (i’ve only just started watching the show a week ago and am already nearly done w S/2). I was wondering if you could write some HCs for either Derek or Spencer dating a reader who has ADHD? Preferably Derek, if you don’t mind, as I know you wrote Autistic!Spence with an Autistic!Reader and I feel like there could be some crossovers with how similar the autism spectrum is to having ADHD. Thank you so much! I’ve been loving your work xx

Thank you so much! Yes of course