#I would never shut up if I had his singing voice I'm telling y'all

[brainfilehasstoppedworking]

I want Michael Bublé's voice so badly. *sighs*

[stxrmylxve]

Welcome to eternity.

NOTICE: I was going to make this a series, but honestly i’ve been pondering this for days and have no idea where to go from here lol. Just think of this as like angst to admiration with the haitani brothers??

summed up: once they find you, you’ll never leave.

notes:

drugs/pills

cussing

fem!reader

fighting

kidnapping? (sorta)

suggestive content if you squint really hard (ran)

some pet names

enjoy??!

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You rubbed your eyes, the lack of sleep getting to you as you pulled out the keys to your apartment. You did, however, catch the white envelope sitting on the floor in front of your door after you had closed the door. You leaned down and picked it up, wondering why they hadn’t just put it in your box instead of walking it up four flights of stairs to put it here.

You threw your keys in the bowl and took your shoes off, pulling up your hair and ripping open the envelope. Inside were pictures of.. you. You at the store last week, you singing in the kitchen (embarrassing), you in you bedroom. This almost gave you a heartattack, how long had they been watching you?

You tore the photos up and threw them in the trash, scared to even have something like that near you. You sighed to yourself and went to take a shower, hoping this was all a dream and you would wake up with some warmth in your system.

It however wasn’t, as much as it pained you to know. You wouldn’t wake up. And you would never have the same life again.

When you got out of the shower, you dried off, put on a shirt and shorts, and started on your hair. After detangling it, you returned to your bedroom to (hopefully) get a good night’s rest and just eat in the morning instead of tonight as you were worn out from the events of the day.

You put your things up in the closet and turned around to find two young men sitting on your bed, both having purple accents to their hair. You figured they were either the ones or affiliated with the ones that had been watching you, so you calmly closed the door and fully walked into the room.

“Nice baton. What is that, your pet beside you?" you note as the shorter of the two stiffens, must have struck a nerve with that remark.

"I'm not a pet. I'm his brother." he says with a scowl

"You do realize that telling personal information like that is bad if you're coming to do a crime, right?" you say as you walk to your dresser to find a sweatshirt to put on.

"Why are you so calm, sweetheart? I have a baton, he has excellent fighting skills, and you're more worried on putting on a sweatshirt?" the taller asks as you slip the hoodie over your head.

"Well yeah, I don't want to freeze when you take me elsewhere." you deadpan as you turn around again and pick some sweatpants from the bottom drawer.

"Damn, she does have a nice ass though.

"Shut up Ran."

"But Rindou, look-"

"Rindou and Ran.. what, did they get lazy and just like the letter R?" you say with a chuckle as you put the pants on over your shorts, tying the drawstring as you turn around again.

"And I know I have a mighty fine ass, thank you. But I didn't give you the freeway ticket to look at it." you say as you put your arms out with a sigh as you looked at the boys.

"Uh.. what?" Rindou asks as he looks as Ran and then back at you.

"Well? Take me to neverland, you have photos of me, what else? Take me out of here." you say as you lower your arms as you realize they weren't smart enough to bring handcuffs.

"Dude, did mikey really think she was going to fight back? Look at this sweetheart! Wonder if I can have her instead of him?" Ran says with a smile as Rindou glares at him.

"If you want the rest of Bonten on you, sure, take her for yourself. Idiot." he says with a sigh.

"Bonten? Y'all are with them?" you ask, your voice a little more shakey that what you would have liked.

"Stop spilling info Rindou!" Ran blurts as Rindou turns to him offended.

"Me? You said my name!" he yells back.

"Well you said mine, but not she knows who we're with you dumbass!"

"She knows our name, so what? She could make the connection herself, l'm sure she did!"

Through all of this yelling, you had slipped out of the window in the living room and was now on a ledge on the side of the building, clinging onto it for dear life.

"This wasn't smart. Maybe I should just let them sort it out and go with them and die there rather than painfully like this." you say to yourself as you scoot across, hoping your neighbors would be home to let your into their room to get out of the wind that was about to knock you off.

Of course they weren’t, leaving you no choice but to go back and head to your room for safety. You finally got back to the window and crawled back inside, meeting face to face with a confused Rindou and a slightly angered Ran.

“Where did yoh think you were going?” Ran asks as he throws you over his shoulder like you weighed nothing to him.

“Hey! I didn’t want to listen to you two yell! Hey, put me down- mmhp” you fight as Rindou covers your mouth from behind Ran as you all walk out of the door together.

You slap his hand down with a scowl and beat on Ran’s back.

“Atleast say where we’re going.” you finally say as you had tired yoursef out from hitting his muscular back built like a brick.

“To the HQ.” he says with a slap of your ass and a smile, making you yelp and hit the back of his head.   

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡

When you arrived there, you were expecting a much more… evil looking place. This was just a huge mansion that looked more like a house than something affiliated with a famous gang.

Ran sets you down and fixes his suit, dusting it off as he allows Rindou to go first and puts you in the middle as he follows in last.

Inside was even bigger; chandeliers the size of lions, beautiful marble floors, nothing that you could ever have the money to afford.

“Like it? You’ll be seeing it everyday.” Ran says with a smile as you huff and take your hand down from caressing the walls of the mansion.

“Why do you even want me? I couldn’t ever be in this price range, plus I am not even interesting compared to the things I’m sure you’ve seen!” you yell as you stomp your foot like a child.

“She sure is a yeller.” a man with a long scar across his face says as a pink haired man trailed beside him with a large grin.

“Perfect for me.”

“Sanzu, you’re high again, don’t go shoving fucking pills down her throat when she just got here.” Rindou says with a frown as Sanzu’s smile drops.

“You guys don’t ever let me look at anyone man.” he says with a sigh as he examines you from afar, eyes raking your body up and down and settling on your face after a while.

“She’ll do nice, don’t’chu think Ran?” Sanzu says with a grin as he takes out a pill bottle and pops a pill in his mouth, grinning with his head back and walks away with a giggle.

“Don’t worry about him, he is just high right now on our new shipment. He likes stuff like that so he is like the.. experimenter, you know?” Rindou says with a soft smile as you stepped forward, not realizing you had sunk back into him when you were a little terrified of the encounter with Sanzu.

"Oh.. that's normal here?" you ask as you smooth your hair out with your hand, turning to the new man with a scar again.

"What?" he asks.

"That scar," you ask as you walk up and run your hand on it, "does it hurt?"

"Not anymore." he says as he removes your hand gently, turning away to hide a slight blush that had creeped up on his face.

"Oh.. good!" you chirped as you smiled and wandered towards the kitchen, hungry as you had not eaten in hours.

"She already acts like she owns the place." Ran says with a chuckle as he jogs after you.

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[rafescoke]

hi ! i'm obsessed with your work ! <333 can i request a rafe cameron x reader

the reader is always there for rafe when he's sick or in trouble but rafe doesn't really show any reaction or gratitude from the reader's affection - but when reader goes sick (or nosebleed) he immediately begins to worry/make sure reader is okay. basically fluff !

August ; Cupcake! Rafe Cameron

masterlist

Read Cupcake if you haven't before you start this fic!

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

Summary: In which Rafe cares more for the girl he likes rather than himself.

Warnings: Extreme fluff! Mentions of alcohols and drugs, Rafe Cameron being a complete sweetheart

A/N: After a week full of nothing but angst I've decided to give y'all what y'all have been screaming for; fluff. Thank you for all the love over my stories, I love you more than anything else in the world <3

p.s, I'm so sorry @blank-velvet if this isn't what you had in mind :(

"Hello, beautiful."

(Y/N) rolls her eyes, giving him a side smile as she locks her front door. "You're late today."

Rafe pouts, pulling her into a hug as he breathes into her scent. She doesn't smell like cupcakes anymore, thank god, because he can't take another few hours of flashbacks of him whisking the batter.

Turns out, the children's home becomes a fortnight habit for the both of them. They would bring so many cupcakes for the kids and spend the new 2 hours chatting and playing games.

Rafe hates to admit this, having to show the soft side of his, but he likes it. Every single bit of it; children telling him he's the best person in the world and how they like his frosting over (Y/N)'s because his were more 'unique'.

"Are you thinking of another girl?" (Y/N) teases, poking him by his side. Rafe looks down to her height with a shocked expression and shakes his head.

"Never."

"Yuck," she replies, but she's smiling. She keeps her hands in his, loving the way his fingers are wrapped around hers. His metal rings knock against hers, and she can feel the slight tightening every time the light turns red.

She wishes she can assure him that she'll never leave his side, no matter what happens. She knows how hard his life is for him, dealing with his family and his addiction, and she swears to be in his life until he's okay.

"I don't want you to leave once I'm okay."

"I don't mean it that way, Rafe. I'm just saying that if you decide to find anyone else after this whole bullshit ends, I'll be fine."

Rafe shook his head, "I don't want anyone else, (Y/N)."

"Now you're thinking of a guy," Rafe rolls his eyes playfully, turning into a corner before stopping directly before a fancy restaurant (Y/N) can't roll her tongue to call it. He steps out, helping her to her feet, and proceeds to give his car keys to the butler.

"You don't have to pay 30 dollars for valet parking," (Y/N) rolls her eyes. "I'm perfectly fine with walking a long distance, you know."

"Not in that heels," Rafe answers, pointing to her pink mules. "You'll get your dress dirty too."

Rafe escorts her to their table by the beach with her arms in his, and the couple never looked so beautiful. Rafe's hair is left messy today, since (Y/N) likes it that way, and anything that (Y/N) likes, Rafe will try to obey.

"We can eat at Fraiser's and I'll be happy, Rafe. This is too much."

Fraiser's is Obx's famous burger shop located in The Cut, and sometimes even the kooks would come down to the other side of the island to enjoy the food.

(Y/N) stares at the beach, hearing its calming waves and turns to Rafe. He's still admiring the view, his lips pulled into a charming smile, and (Y/N) has the urge to kiss him.

"I want to," he says. "I'm glad we met."

The candle burns brightly by the side of their table as he gazes into her eyes, feeling himself getting lost in them. Her (E/C) eyes are mesmerizing, and it had struck him.

"Stop. You're getting all mushy mushy."

The dinner is perfect. To (Y/N)'s surprise, Rafe had requested her favorite song to be played by the band earlier. When the starting melody to August by Taylor Swift starts playing, she's basically gaping at Rafe.

"Shut up! You did not!" she hits him on his arms as he laughs.

"I thought you'd like it," he shrugs, stuffing his mouth with the garlic bread. "Do you like it?"

"Are you crazy? I love it, Rafe!"

Before Rafe can process his mind to what she just said, she pulls him into a hug from the other side of the table, and the other diners glance at the sudden sound of a chair scraping against the wooden floor and clanking of cutleries.

Rafe relaxes, "You're embarrassing us."

She pulls away, her face red, but Rafe holds her tightly.

"It's okay. I like it. Embarrass us even more, please."

(Y/N) feels like she's in heaven, soaring high above the clouds with Rafe by her side. Her life can't be more perfect; being in a close relationship with the boy he likes, doing so many things together she feels like they were married already.

Keyword: close relationship. He never proposes her to be his girlfriend, and she's too afraid to bring it up.

But whatever they're having now; she loves it. More than anything else in the world.

"Let's go to the beach."

"Okay," she giggles, gathering her clutch and her forgotten shoes somewhere under the table. She feels like leaving them, but the heels were one of the many presents from Rafe a few weeks ago, and she intends to keep them until the day she dies.

She stops, placing the clutch against his chest. "Have you paid?"

Rafe looks up to her, "Nah."

"Go pay."

"No."

"Rafe!" she widens her eyes, closing her mouth with her hands. "They'll catch us!"

"Not if we act like we've paid. Come on, they know me. They wouldn't suspect me of fleeing before paying."

She bites her lips nervously, but her heart is thumping wildly against her chest. Fleeing away from paying is never on her bucket list, but she always likes watching these kinds of scenes on the big screen.

"Okay. Fine."

"Okay, sweet. Come on."

He pulls her hands in his as he walks towards the exit. The waiter close to them bows, giving them his thank you, and when (Y/N) feels like they're safe, a loud voice from behind them shouts.

"Sir! Madam! Have you paid?"

(Y/N)'s grip around Rafe's hands tighten, but Rafe is a natural at lying. She wonders if he ever lied to her before.

"We have, a few minutes ago. This is a very bad moment for me and my wife, we are catching a flight back to Paris in an hour and you're wasting our time."

(Y/N) looks at him, gawking. His wife?

(Y/N) isn't sure if his lie would get them out of this situation, because his fake British accent does not sound anywhere near British and no English couple would spend their summer in a place like Obx.

The manager, (Y/N) assumes takes a step back, bowing down to them. When he looks up at them, he still has the curious glint in his eyes.

"Can I get your name?"

There's a long silence between them, and (Y/N)'s getting more and more nervous. "Coke." she blurts before she can stop herself.

"Coke?"

"That's her nickname, right, my love? It's not coke, my dear, it's Cookie," Rafe sighs and turns back to the manager. "I'm sorry. She had had a few drinks tonight."

"Sir," the same waiter that had muttered his thanks to them says, standing beside the stern manager. "They haven't paid."

"Run!" Rafe exclaims, running towards the exit with (Y/N) in his trail. There are shouts behind them, but they don't stop, running for dear life until the music from the band playing sounds a distance away.

Eventually, the gravel turns into sand, and they stop running. (Y/N) is the first one to laugh, throwing her head back and pulling him into a hug.

"Oh, thank you! Thank you, Rafe, that's the best thing that has ever happened in my life!" she exclaims, placing her arms around his neck. The adrenaline from before is still flowing at a fast pace, and she never felt more alive.

Rafe smiles, catching his breath. He let her in his arms, smoothing her locks and lifting her slightly from the ground.

"Let's go in the water!" she says excitedly, pulling him towards the waves.

The cold saltwater pools around their ankles as they stand in the water, intertwining their fingers. (Y/N) looks up at him, watching as he stares at the darkness ahead.

She looks in the direction he's gawking at and sees the silhouette of a huge boat somewhere in the distance.

"What's wrong?" she asks, tugging at his hands.

"Someday, (Y/N), I'll bring you around the world."

She smiles. Always the charmer, that one.

"Rafe!" She suddenly shouts, bending down and letting the water soak her dress. "Something bit me!"

Rafe snaps back to reality, holding her in place and trying to find the mysterious creature in the water. Can a piranha get this far?

"I don't see-"

(Y/N) cuts him off by splashing the water at him, and he steps back with a shock.

"You'll regret doing that."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"I'm not feeling anything."

"Get ready."

"For what?"

Rafe splashes her with a larger amount of water and uses the stalling time as she gasps and tries to get away from him by pulling her down into the water.

"This," he laughs, watching as she screams playfully. She's between his legs now as they sit peacefully, letting the water soak their expensive clothes.

"I'm sorry I'm ruining the dress you bought for me."

"It's okay. It's just Dior. Besides, I'll probably ruin it by-"

"Later," she cuts him off, placing her pointer on his lips to silence him. "Let's just watch the ocean."

And Rafe obliges.

A walk back to your home doesn't take long when you're in love. (Y/N) has Rafe's hands in hers, swaying them back and forth as they skip back to her apartment.

"I'm not going to be responsible for your car if it goes missing, Rafe."

He smiles, "It's okay. I have insurance."

She's on cloud nine; singing along to August and letting Rafe twirl her around under the night sky full of twinkling stars.

"I love this," she whispers, stopping midway. "Thank you, Rafe."

"For what?"

"Being the best."

He kisses her cheeks in response, "Always."

Just before they can continue their walk back to her apartment, a familiar blue mustang pulls up beside her, and Rafe pulls her to his other side in reflex.

He waits until the car window pulls down, revealing a half-drunk boy with his black hair messily slicked back.

(Y/N)'s breath hitches, and she pulls Rafe closer to her.

"What do you want?" Rafe sighs. "Can't you leave her alone?"

"Rafe," she whispers, pulling him in alarm. Out of all the time in the world, her ex-boyfriend decides to surprise them after a good night full of good memories.

Jack ignores Rafe and stares at (Y/N), smiling in a taunting way. "Hey, (Y/N), why are you all wet?"

"Rafe," she pulls him again.

"Come on, I'm just asking," he laughs. "I thought you liked getting wet."

"Fuck off," Rafe says, gritting his teeth. His chest heaves with every breath he takes, and he longs for the moment to connect his fist with his smug face.

"Aw, come on Rafe, you used to be so fun," Jack fakes pout, sighing. "Now you're all up in her ass. Does she feed you bone?"

Rafe steps forward, but (Y/N) quickly pulls him back.

"Does she beg you to go to the some children's shit too?"

Rafe stalks forward again before (Y/N) can help it, and launches Jack's car door open. He topples over from leaning over and not wearing the seatbelt, and Rafe uses the chance to throw him on the road.

"Wanna talk shit again, asshole?" Rafe yells, pushing him as he staggers backward. Jack clutches onto his chest, holding a hand up and moving backward.

(Y/N) cries, waiting for Rafe to come back. As Rafe turns away to go with her, Jack takes the free time to bring him down to the road again and throws a punch against his face.

"Jack! Let him go, please!"

Rafe groans, feeling his bones cracking, but he's too fueled by the snickering Jack had made toward (Y/N). He turns him over and continues his punches against the thrashing boy.

(Y/N) pulls Rafe's arms, not wanting him to get hurt, but the pull is so strong that when he finally lets go of Jack, she topples backward and falls straight on her bottom.

He gushes out beside her, "You're okay? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to push you!"

Jack scatters into his car again, muttering a curse word under his breath and saying something along the lines of 'I'll get back at you, Cameron' before speeding off into the night.

(Y/N) groans, rubbing her legs and turns to Rafe. She gasps, holding his face in her hands. "Oh my god! Your nose, Rafe!"

Rafe grunts, pushing her hands away. "I'm fine. It's just a nosebleed. You scraped your thighs!"

"Just the side of them," she mumbles, glancing at the ripped part of her used-to-be beautiful midnight blue dress. "Let me see your nose."

"No."

"Please."

He sighs and lets her examine his broken nose. His eyes are red, and (Y/N)'s sure there's some kind of a broken blood vessel in there, and there are bruises starting to form under his eyes.

To compare with her pain, Rafe is a hundred times worse.

"Jesus Christ, we have to get you to the hospital."

"No!" Rafe exclaims, pulling her hands away from his place. "No, please. I hate hospitals, you know I do. Let's just get home."

(Y/N) sighs, knowing there's no way she can win this fight against Rafe and helps him to his feet. She staggers backward, feeling the sudden pain coursing through her from the gash on her side.

"Oh god, you're losing so much blood."

"No, I'm not. I'm perfectly fine. It's just a scratch," she bites her lips.

"Let me carry you." he stops her.

"No! You're an idiot. If anything, I'm the one who's supposed to carry you," she rolls her eyes and turns to look at him again. "Rafe, you're crying blood. Let's get to the hospital."

"I'm not, I just drink too much red wine."

"It doesn't work that way. Please, Rafe? I'll be there with you the whole time."

Rafe sighs, and after a long time of thinking and weighing his options, he nods.

"If they start telling me to open my clothes, I'll head out. I will only remove my clothes from you tonight."

He can still joke around at a time like this?

(Y/N) bites her lips, "You will do exactly what the doctor says."

"You're my doctor," he shrugs. "Be my doctor?"

(Y/N) decides, with Rafe limping beside her, walking towards the hospital will be the stupidest idea ever. She orders an Uber, and before the driver can ask why they're booking to go to the hospital at 11p.m. on a Friday, he speeds away when he sees the sight of Rafe.

"It's not too late to just go home," Rafe mumbles against her neck. Her hair tickles his nose, but he likes it like that.

He feels safe. Protected.

"We're not sleeping in my apartment tonight."

"Can I still make love to you in the hospital?"

"We'll think about it."

(Y/N) pays the driver, muttering her thanks, and attends to a groaning Rafe again. One of his eyes is shut, and the other is fighting its best to stay awake.

The EMTs grab a wheelchair for Rafe as soon as she pulls him in through the automatic door, and when (Y/N) finally lets go of him, he shouts over the loud orders of the workers.

"She needs to stay with me or I'll die!"

One of the technicians looks at (Y/N), and she sighs. "I'm sorry. We got into a fight, and I think he's just not thinking straight right now."

She nods and asks (Y/N) to wait for him in the waiting room.

Half an hour later, with a coffee from the 24 hours cafeteria near the emergency room in her hands, the doctor finally calls for her attention. She stands up, her dress sticking to her bloody wound, and she winces from the pain.

"Why didn't you tell us!" the doctor sighs, pulling her into the same room he brought Rafe in. Rafe isn't in there, and (Y/N) can't help but search around.

"He's okay. He's sleeping. He's suffering from subconjunctival hemorrhage. It's nothing serious, really, but we decided to keep him under our watch for one day."

(Y/N) nods, slightly relieved, and let the doctor removes her skirt so he can take a better look at her wound.

He clicks his tongue, "What's your name?"

"(Y/N)."

"Okay, (Y/N), we called for your boyfriend's parents and they'll be here in an hour. Do you have any parents I can contact?"

"I'm okay. I'm not suffering from any hemorrhage."

The doctor sighs, "I know. But you just confessed to being in a fight, so I have to get the parents involved. It's protocol."

Fuck.

(Y/N) mumbles out her brother's phone number, and she hopes against hope he's out with his friends and getting drunk so that she wouldn't have to face her family.

"Okay. Do you want to see your boyfriend?"

"He's not my boyfriend. But yes, I want to see Rafe."

(Y/N) holds out his hands as she sits beside his sleeping form. She smiles, grazing her fingers across his soft skin as he breathes peacefully.

"I'm awake now."

She pulls her hands away, gasping slightly at his tired voice.

"Come on, hold me again."

She rolls her eyes, but her fingers are around his again. "We look so corny."

"I know. Wanna know something cornier?"

"What?"

"Take that thing out of my pocket. No, not that, that's my dick, (Y/N), my pocket, yes, yes, take that box out."

(Y/N) holds out the small box in her hands, letting the white light from above illuminate the box. Her face is still red at the mention of accidentally touching his private part, but she's more intrigued by the box now.

"Open it," he says softly.

(Y/N) hesitates, and pops the box open. She gasps, having a small diamond glinting back at her.

"Do you like it?"

"You did not, Rafe, oh my god."

"Wear it. Wait, fuck, I messed it up. Wait, wait, let me just-" he sighs, trying to sit up, but (Y/N) stops him midway. "Would you like to be my girlfriend, (Y/N)?"

She looks up at him, her eyes teary now, because God, no one has ever done this to her.

"Would you?"

"Of course, asshole, even when you're asking me in the middle of your deathbed."

He smiles, "Okay. Now you can put the ring on."

She slides the ring on her ring finger, holding her hand up and admiring the way the ring compliments her hands.

She loves it. More than anything.

"Oh, and they called Ward and Rose. I'm sorry it's going to be your first time being my girlfriend and meeting them."

She laughs, leaning over him and placing a longing kiss on his lips. He kisses her back, feeling so much better now he can walk out of this hospital.

"You're like a princess. Nursing me back to health. None of these Harvard graduate doctors can compare to you."

"Urgh, shut up," she rolls her eyes. "Now you're pushing it."

-

@okayshoto @joselyn001 @onceuponateenagetrash @dyingsleeping @iwannabeapogue @meaganjm @rafesobxs @flossy2929 @unfortunatekiwitrash @scottybitch @asimpwriter @amaya124 @tommy-tommo @thatshithurted8 @fallincindy @marvelwhor3 @rafeswh0ree @kookap @supernaturallydc-blog @blank-velvet @alaniskauany @kiiim8 @witchywrter @kaitlyn2907 @heyimflo @overcookedpastasause @tsukkiswifeey @spidey-d00d @anonymousobxfan @gotmeinloveagain @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @lexi-writes @classydragonthingknight @belongtoyou-u @badbussylol @savannah-elliott @angelreyesgirl100 @haterpenny @beehappyyy @alwaysclassyeagle @maybankslut @kayleea122 @clearbolts @lovelyxtom @christianaevans @jemimah-b99 @opierdalacz @dangerdolns @wildflowerliv @classygirlything21 @pogueslandia @alwaysclassyeagle @rottenstyx @wxn-drlst

[livelovelaug-h]

Falling for the popular nerd part 2

Eric x reader

A/n; sorry for so many delays ive been having some tonsil pain or glands that I wasn't expecting and ugh it's weird. :((

@thefeetlesfan ♥️hope y'all like this.

Summary : your date with Eric after you meet him and his group of friends. You let your nerdy side come out even though you are Rich and Jackie doesn't approve. Will you and Eric be able to date? Donna and Eric are broken up this is around kinda where she started dating Casey but I'm not really making it one specific episode or anything. Enjoy and hello Wisconsin!!!!!

It was finally the day of your "date with Eric." The only person you could really tell was your mom but then she was over protective, about being with a guy alone. You were beyond excited. You could really be yourself around him. I mean of course you were still nervous as hell and worried wheather you looked good or not.

The hub

3:30 pm 1977

You walked in seeing Eric at the counter.

"hey y/n I got us a table."

"oh thanks. What a gentleman." He walked you over holding out your seat for you.

"that is i... You look really nice by the way."

"thank you", you blushed. "So how was school?"

"oh you know same old same old. Homework yay." You laughed.

After a little while he asked if you wanted to go see the new movie coming out.

"yeah sure im down."

"great so what that'll be our second date??" He asked.

"oh these are dates???" You asked bewildered.

"uh- uh no I -."

"Eric I'm kidding, this was a great first date. Im having a great time."

"oh good. Yeah- yeah I knew that." You both laughed it "well what was your favorite movie from last year? Besides star wars of course."

"well Rocky, but freaky Friday was great."

"but not as great as Rocky man. Hey what did you think of The Omen??"

"oh that movie was amazing. So many deaths, it was crazy."

"I think it was about like what 7 or 8?"

"10 but who was counting right? Haha" You gave him a cute smile, both of you laughing it off again.

"wow, see you are just so awesome."

"Thank you! So are you."

"thanks. well hey it's getting late, can I drive you home??."

"Sure. I would love that." You got out your wallet to distribute to the date.

"oh no please I got this y/n."

~~~

You walked into Eric's basement seeing the whole gang.

"hey Eric ready to go?" You ask your date.

"uh where are you guys going??" Jackie asked.

"to the movies?"

"as like a date?" Michael asked.

"no." You said, looking at Eric with soft eyes. Both of you knew that each of your groups were gonna make a big deal.

"well it seems that way. "

" guys we were just going out to hang."

"well if it's not a date then why don't we all come." Your eyes widened.

"okay. Yeah.. fine." Eric said. Everyone got up walking to the door Eric whispered sorry in your ear.

~~~

The movie was hard to watch with them talking and getting out of the car.

"Eric you took her to the drive in because you were so gonna make out with her."

He closed his eyes for a quick second. "no I wasn't."

"yeah right."

"Kelso shut up." Hyde smacked him in the arm.

"OWW."

~~~~

Eric drove everyone home and you were the second drop off.

"well I had ... fun thanks for taking me Eric. Have a good night"

"no problem and yeah me too. Night y/n."

"oh she is totally into you." Hyde said. "thanks for taking me." Donna and Hyde mimicked you with a high pitched voice.

"yeah she was practically throwing herself at you."

"Michael!! No she wasn't she is popular she doesn't want to go out with a nerd. We've already been through this."

"well yeah but we've ALREADY been on a date so ha Jackie suck on that."

"ew, When?"

"Two weeks ago."

"oh we are so gonna have a talk about that y/n!"

"or maybe you should just let them date. Who cares, Jackie you can't choose who dates who. This isn't a soap. Especially with these nerds."

"well, no offense Eric but I didn't like the way you treated Donna so I'm just looking out for my friend."

~~~~~

You're putting out the trash when Jackie walked over to you.

"why didn't you tell me you were going on a date with Eric?!! And that you already went on one?"

"well to be fair you were exactly being nice to Eric when we were trying to talk."

"I'm never nice to him." You sighed.

"Jackie, you don't think Eric is a good match just because he isn't rich, but that doesn't matter to me. He's cool and funny."

"Are we talking about the same Eric?"

"Jackie!"

"look, I get you like him somehow, but I just don't want to see you get hurt the same way Donna did."

"I think that's one of the nicest things you've ever said that wasn't about yourself."

"don't push it."

"thank you Jackie. I really appreciate you looking out for me, I don't know if he'll hurt me and if he does then I guess it's better than not trying with him. So you approve now?"

"well I don't approve but I think he makes you happy. If he hurts you I'll get Hyde to beat him up."

Haahah you laughed and hugged Jackie.

'thanks Jackie."

~~~~

You were hanging out at Eric's basement with the gang laughing while playing a game.

"man this is great. Look at all the happy couples. Jackie and hyde, Michael and Brooke, Donna and Casey, Eric and y/n and for Fez? I get no one. It's not fair!"

"aw Fez don't worry you just haven't really met anyone outside your circle you need to go mingle."

"hmm I guess your right. I'm going to go to the hub then! Don't wait up for me losers."

"I like his spirit."

"we should all go on a triple double date!" Michael said.

"ummm-"

Hyde stopped you, "let him have this."

Eric: "I mean I'm down."

You looked at him and smiled "me too."

"yeah let's do it."

"hey y/n it's almost 8:00 want me to drive you home?"

"yes please thank you. Bye guys."

~~~

You guys were singing some songs on the way there laughing hysterically, after 7 mins Eric pulled up to your house.

"you know, not to be all sappy and everything but you really do make me happy and actually have fun. I'm hoping you just don't ruin it by being a serial killer."

"you never know I might have stuff hidden in my basement."

"nah just the money in your Candy land game."

"wait you know about that too??"

"noooo..." You shook your head making you both laugh.

"no but seriously, I really like you and I feel the same way." Eric said.

"well I'm glad we're on one the same page then." You smiled evilly leaning in, Eric doing the same. It was a great kiss. His lips were so soft and you had butterflies in your stomach. You pulled back after a minute.

You: "wow, you're a great kisser, but I think... I have to try it again and see."

"then I guess we have to do it again."

"I think Soo."

[orange-waterfalls]

Can We Talk?

Bim Trimmer x m!reader

ty @just-bts-trash-00 for the request!

A/N: WHOOOOOOO BOY HOWDY, GUESS WHO'S BACK. It's been uh. A while. I'm sorry? School has been hectic and my mental health is SHIT, but i fucking finished it holy god. Anywaaaays, angst. Y'all remember Bim's crush on Matthias? Yeah that's the plot. It's pretty long and I think it's pretty shit but uh here I guess.

Word count: 2.9k

--

You hummed quietly as you fixed dinner for you and your boyfriend in the kitchen. Normally, you didn’t cook. Neither did Bim. Therefore, one of you had to be the cook in the relationship, and you supposed it had to be you. You couldn’t just get takeout until the end of time.

Well… maybe if you really wanted to.

But you didn’t. You wanted to cook for your boyfriend. He’d said something about “Jewish burgers” one day, and you didn’t know what that meant. At this point, you were too scared to ask. You’d found a recipe for shawarma, and he’d liked that shawarma place you went to the other day, so you were making shawarma. At least… you did your best.

You yawned and rubbed your eyes, quickly hissing because you somehow forgot there was a bunch of shit on your hands. You quickly turned the faucet on and put your eye under the stream to clean it out.

As you dried your face, you heard a car pull up to the driveway, along with three short honks. You smiled. Finally. You wiped your hands on a rag and turned around to greet your gameshow host.

“Honey, I’m home!” He said in a sing-songy voice as he looked around for you. He saw you leaning on the kitchen counter and smiled. He shrugged off his suit jacket and sat his bag down. He walked towards you with his arms open. You pushed yourself off of the counter and fell into him.

“Hi…” you whispered. He chuckled and held you tight.

“What’s up?” He sniffed the air. “And what’s cooking?”

“Shawarma…” you said, your voice muffled in his neck.

“And uh… what’s wrong?” You brought your head up and squinted at him. “Ah, of course. The process of making the shawarma. What else would it be?” You shoved your face back in his neck with a grunt of affirmation. He snorted and patted your back. He directed you towards the couch, where you plopped down on your back with a groan.

“Dinner…” you whined. He sat his phone on the coffee table and took his shoes off.

“I’ll finish it up.” He patted your stomach.

“Thank you…” He kissed your forehead and walked away, letting you have your rest. You felt kinda bad, he’d been working all day, and it must be tiring having to sound so happy all the time. Then again, YOU worked all day too, AND you tried to make dinner. Your small rest was earned.

You closed your eyes and sighed, relaxing into the sofa. You startled a bit at the notification sound coming from his phone.

“Bim, your phone… binged…” You called. Binged? Was that the word?

“I’ll be done in a minute.” He responded.

Dinged! That was it.

You glanced at the phone. It didn’t sound like his usual texting sound, and he didn’t have any games as far as you knew. Maybe it was an email.

Your curiosity got the better of you and you checked the lockscreen.

Yup! Email. From someone named… M? Who was that?

You shrugged and put it back down. None of your business.

Bim walked back into the living room holding two plates.

“Dinner is served!” He said in a bad English accent.

“Woo…” You cheered weakly and sat up. He put the plates on the table and went back towards the kitchen. “Oh, I bought wine earlier. The good shit, that Dark gets sometimes.”

“Damn, really? How much did that cost you?” He asked in disbelief.

“It was on sale.”

“Why would the good shit be on sale?”

“Some people just don’t have taste.” You smiled when you heard him laugh. He walked back in with two wine glasses and the bottle. “Oh, you have an email from someone named ‘M’.” He tensed up when he heard the name.

That’s… weird…

“O-Oh, uh… thanks…” He scrambled to grab his phone and shoved it in his pocket. You quirked an eyebrow at him. Suspicious…

“Uh… no problem…” He looked nervous as he poured wine for you two. You squinted at him a bit, wondering why he was so anxious. You trusted him, of course you did, but this was… weird.

You two sat and ate your dinner in silence. You kept trying to look at him but he avoided your eyes. When you finished your food, you poured more wine into your glass and downed it.

This was gonna be one of those days.

--

Yes, okay, you were drunk. Not blackout drunk, but drunk enough to not exactly know what was going on. You knew that Bim was a bit drunk as well and you two were laughing at… something… but other than that, you got nothing.

“I’m ju-I’m jus-I’m…” You paused and blinked a couple times to process your own words. “I’m just saying that Twilight coulda been sssssoooo much better… if the portag… protagonist… fuck’s her name again?”

“Bella?” Bim chuckled.

“That’s the bitch!” You slammed your hand down on the table. Bim wheezed. “If she’d just had… a little-a little more e-mo-tion, a little more person… personality… then Twilight coulda been better! But noooooo, she had ta be… the most person-boring person in cinematic history. Bull. shhhhhit.”

“Well, she’s… she needs to… young girls have to… relate to her!”

“Okay, but like… she’s a got-damn plank o’ wood.”

“Tha-hahahaha! That’s not fair!”

“She is! She never-she’s not-she-oh god, I’m drunk…” You squeezed your eyes shut and leaned forward, face angled at the floor in case you got nauseous.

“Yeah… me too…” He sighed.

“Hey, hey Bim?” You opened an eye and turned to him. He hummed in response. “Who’s ‘M’?” He tensed up again and you frowned.

“Uh, nobody. Nobody! D-Don’t worry about it!” He cleared his throat and shifted in his chair.

“Suspicious…” you mumbled.

“Huh?”

“Nothin’.”

You tilted your head at him, half trying to figure out who it could be(which was very difficult in your drunken state) and half trying to read his mind. You supposed he got kind of uncomfortable because he said:

“I’m gonna… go into my office… and check some things…” He stood up and shuffled into a small room that he’d claimed as his office. You sighed and sunk back into the couch, thinking about your options.

First step was communication. You tried to talk to him, but he was being evasive and didn’t honestly answer the question. Suspicious.

Second step was… looking around the house for clues as to who it was like you were Sherlock Holmes? Absolutely.

You brought yourself to your feet, only stumbling a little, and tiptoed to your shared bedroom. You closed the door behind you as softly as you could before walking over to the closet. You opened it and looked for a moment before deciding it wasn’t worth to actually move things around. You shut the door and moved to the drawers. If anything was gonna be anywhere, it would be in the sock drawer, right? You reached out and put your hand on the handle. You tugged a bit, cracking it open, just a little. Your brain kept telling you that you were already there, just get it over with.

But your heart(well… still your brain, but whatever) was telling you that you needed to trust your boyfriend if this relationship was going to work.

You sighed and shut the drawer, flopping face-first onto the bed.

Bim wasn’t the type to cheat. Well… you didn’t think so, anyways. You loved him and… well, you hoped he loved you. You were going to have faith in your boyfriend. No matter how curious you were.

You shifted around in the bed so you were laying in the correct direction. You were still on your stomach, and you closed your eyes, facing the wall opposite of the door.

After a few minutes, you heard the door quietly creak open. The lights turned off and you heard footsteps make their way towards the bed. You smiled a bit and turned your head to look at Bim. Your smile fell as you saw him open the sock drawer and pull a napkin out.

“Hi Bim.” you said. He screamed and shoved the napkin back in the drawer, slamming it shut. You blinked at him.

“H-Hi, darling, I-I didn’t know you were awake…” He stuttered.

“I was.” You raised your eyebrows.

“Well… I can see that…” He laughed nervously. You looked at his hand on the drawer.

“What were you looking at?” You asked.

Please tell me the truth, you begged in your head.

“Oh, uh… n-nothing important, haha…”

Dammit, Bim.

“Okay, well… come to bed?” You suggested. You smiled at him as best you could.

“Uh… I’m kinda busy…” He scratched his head. You frowned.

“Please?” You begged and held your arms out. He opened his mouth to oppose, but he decided to make eye contact for the first time tonight since dinner. He visibly relaxed and smiled at you, and you smiled back. He sighed and took his glasses off. You scooted over so he could climb in next to you. You wrapped your arms around him and snuggled into his chest.

“I love you…” you whispered. He didn’t say anything for a moment before he chuckled.

“I love you, too. Night, darling.”

“Good night.”

--

You woke up feeling cold. You reached out to your boyfriend, but he wasn’t there. You rolled over and looked at the time. 3:00 am. Jesus, what was Bim doing? You slowly stood up and got out of bed, still feeling very tired. You walked around for a bit, searching for your partner, before pausing.

Was he… talking to someone? At this hour?

You walked towards the bathroom, where Bim’s voice was coming from. You put an ear against the door, trying to listen.

“Why can’t he just leave me alone, why can’t he just let me live my life?!” He whisper-yelled. “I’m perfectly content with how I am now. He didn’t want me when I was available, and now I’m unavailable, and suddenly he loves me?! What kind of bullshit is that?!” You frowned, not knowing who he was talking to. You were worried because of how upset he sounded. You softly knocked on the door.

“Bim? You alright?” You asked quietly. You heard a small thump from inside and flinched.

“Y-Yeah! Just… Just give me a minute!” He yelled. You walked away from the door and looked into the office. You saw your jacket on the floor and scoffed. How’d that get there?

You walked to the other side of the room and grabbed it. As you were walking back, something caught your eye. Bim hadn’t turned the computer off. You figured you’d do it for him. As you went to click out of the open tab, you saw messages on the screen. From ‘M’.

M

Do you love me?

B

Sure

M

So, you’ll get me on your gameshow again?

B

I’ll try.

M

Oh. I see.

B

I’ll try my best. I’ll do anything for you.

M

Anything?

B

Yes

M

Leave your boyfriend

Hello?

Trimmer? You there?

Your vision started to blur and you were confused until you felt the tears start down your face. You were still drunk, right? That’s why you were so emotional.

Yep. That’s it. That’s the only reason.

You wiped your face and went back to the bathroom door. He was still talking, but more quietly so you didn’t really hear him. After a minute or two, he sighed and unlocked the bathroom door. You stepped away and leaned on the wall opposite the door. Bim walked out and yelped.

“Oh my God! Hi!” He laughed. “I-I didn’t know you were still out here, uh…” He looked at you and furrowed his eyebrows. “Your… eyes are kinda red… are you ok?” He reached out to touch your face but you avoided his hand.

“No, no. I’m fine. Just… need to use the… bathroom…” You said, managing to not have any voice cracks or slur any words. Nice.

“I… ok…” He dropped his hand and walked towards your bedroom. You went into the bathroom, shutting and locking it behind you. You hiccuped a bit before tears started streaming down your face. You leaned your forehead on the door, just letting it all out. You hadn’t cried in a while, that’s all.

That is the only reason.

You stood there and cried for a bit before walking over to the sink and looking at yourself in the mirror.

God, you were a mess.

Your eyes were all red and puffy, there were tear marks on your cheeks, you kept sniffling like a goddamn third grader.

And it… hurt.

Not just your eyes stinging from the tears. Although that hurt too.

The fact that he was hiding from you, that he wouldn’t talk to you, that he didn’t trust you.

You sighed and shut your eyes. You turned the faucet on, splashing water on your face, wiping all the evidence away.

You turned the water off and stared at your face, dripping wet, looking a bit shit.

“I’ll talk to him in the morning…” you promised yourself. You went back into your bedroom, finding Bim already asleep. You climbed in next to him, but didn’t hold him like you usually did. You curled up and turned away.

You’d talk to him in the morning.

--

You went to the living room after waking up and getting ready. You were supposed to go into work, but you told your boss you were having “family problems” and might come in later. You sat on the couch and watched a bit of tv while you waited for Bim to wake up. He had the day off, so he didn’t have to worry about anything. He was

You sat with your knees tucked in. You lifted your head a bit when you heard th shower turn on. You sighed and thought about what you were supposed to say.

Hi, Bim. I’m worried about you. Is there anything you want to tell me?

Hi, Bim. You’ve been acting weird recently. Everything ok?

Hi, Bim. I went through your messages. Are you cheating on me?

You groaned and buried your face in your hands. Why was this happening? Was he not happy? Were you doing something wrong?

As you were overthinking, the shower turned off. You uncovered your face and turned the TV off. You sat and waited for Bim to enter the living room.

Okay, just… tell him what happened.

Bim walked in wearing a T-Shirt and sweatpants. He went to the door and grabbed a jacket.

“We need more chicken, I’ll head to the store and-”

“Can we talk? Can you sit down for a second?” You interrupted. He froze halfway through putting his jacket on and stared at you.

“Um… okay…” He said slowly. He put the jacket on the back of his chair and sat. You sighed and put your legs down.

“Last night, when you were in the bathroom, I went into your office,” you explained. His eyes widened. Not a good sign.

“Why-Why did you do that?” His voice cracked as he spoke.

“I saw my jacket on the floor.” His face twitched into a scowl for a millisecond.

“Okay… and?”

“And… I figured I’d turn your computer off for you.” You avoided looking at him. “I s-saw some messages, and I wanted to ask-”

“I’m not cheating on you!” He claimed loudly. You blinked and looked at him. He looked scared. Kinda panicked.

“Okay…”

“I-I don’t like him anymore! That was like a joke message! I didn’t mean it, I just wanted to know if he actually felt anything for me, or if I was just being used by him! It was from a while ago! I-I know I shouldn’t have messaged him, I know a-and I’m sorry, but I don’t know why he’s messaging me again now! I want nothing to do with him I promise!” You hummed and looked away. You heard a shuffle before Bim appeared on his knees on the floor in front of you.

“Wha-Bim?” You flushed.

“Please, please, please believe me! I never wanted anyone but you! I just… It wasn’t recent, it was a while ago! I wanted to know if he ever actually liked me, and… I had you! There wasn't any reason to go back to him! And I don’t want to lose you! I-I can be better, I promise!”

“Okay, h-how ‘bout we calm down-”

“I do love you, I-I do! But… if you don’t trust me anymore, that’s fine! I-I just want you to be happy and-”

“BIM!” You yelled. He looked up at you with misty eyes and a quivering lip. You shook your head with a small laugh.

“Wh-What’s so funny?” He sniffled.

“I’m not gonna leave you! I understand! You wanted to know if there was anything ever there, if he ever felt anything for you instead of just being a manipulative bastard.” You smirked.

“Yes! Exactly!” He nodded his head hard.

“You could’ve… said that. I would’ve understood…”

“You… You would have?”

“Bim, you’re an adult. Do you not know how to communicate?”

“Uh… not… really?” He furrowed his eyebrows.

“Okay, we’re gonna have to work on that, and I think you might have trust issues too… ” You shook your head.

“Do I need therapy?”

“Yeah, therapy’s good for this sort of thing.”

You moved forward and kissed his forehead. He wiped his eyes and kissed you gently.

“Are we gonna be okay?” He asked after pulling back. You leaned your forehead against his.

“Yeah… we’ll be okay?”

[littledarlinwrites]

Dream a Little Dream Of Me

1940s!Bucky Barnes x Reader

This is for @teamcap4bucky Summer Sun and Fun Game! Thank you so much for hosting and for being so patient with me when I screwed up the due date. This was specifically written for @majesticavenger, I'm so sorry for the wait, but I hope it was worth it! Anywho, this is the first time I've wrote 40s!Bucky and I'm hella needy at the moment 'cause life, so leave me some love y'all! (Also, as soon as I can jump on my laptop I'll add a keep reading link, I'm not savvy enough to do it on mobile).

You trudged up to your Brooklyn apartment, your cat howling on the fire escape outside your bedroom window to be let in. A tired smile graves your face after a long day of work. A job you were grateful for, but bittersweet under the circumstances, patients sick or dying, and men going off to war only to never return either physically or mentally. You couldn't wait to hide away in your apartment for the rest of the night, draw a hot bath, listen to a radio program before nodding off to sleep. And, if you were lucky, maybe your apartment pen pal had sent you another note attached to your cats threaded collar. The thought of it made you pick up your pace as you climbed your apartment buildings staircase.

You practically ran into your apartment and to your bedroom window, flipping the latch and looking for the paper that was typically wrapped around your cats collar and tied with a baby blue string.

You found the paper, tying the baby blue string to an embroidery hoop with the others you collected. Today the note was short, just a song suggestion, something he would do on a rough day. You drew your bath water while turning up the radio station to catch the song. It wasn't until you were crawling into bed that the song played. Moonlight Serenade. You just hoped Lucky, the nickname he had told you to call him, was somewhere listening to it too.

The following morning you rushed around to get ready for the day and out the door in time. You scribbled your note to Lucky and wrapped it around the cat's collar before shooing it out the window.

----

Bucky laid on his bed, window open, waiting for the furry creature to make its way to him like it always did. Nox, she had said was the cat's name. Usually Bucky appreciated cats from a distance considering they would make him sneezy and itchy, but he couldn't help but enjoy the conversations with his pen pal. Luna, she had said to call her. A nickname her mother gave her due to her infatuation with the giant orb in the sky. He won every single match after he started talking with her, and he didn't consider that a coincidence. 

Bucky heard the mewling from the black cat before he felt it curl up on his chest. He scratched the cat behind its ears causing the cat to purr contentedly before he began unfurling the note attached to its knitted collar. 

“Silently if, out of not knowable

night’s utmost nothing, wanders a little guess

(only which is this world) more of my life does

not leap than with the mystery your smile

sings or if (spiraling as luminous

they climb oblivion) voices who are dreams,

less into heaven certainly earth swims

than each my deeper death becomes your kiss

losing through you what seemed myself, I find

selves unimaginably mine; beyond

sorrow’s own joys and hoping’s very fears

yours is the light by which my spirit’s born:

yours is the darkness of my soul’s return

–you are my sun, my moon, and all my stars”

-E. E. Cummings

Bucky read the poem three times before reaching for a piece of paper and jotting down some words. He wrapped the piece of paper around the cats collar, tying it with a frayed blue string from his work shirt and turned over to get a couple hours of sleep, if only his heart would stop fluttering like a hummingbird in his chest.

----

Walking through your door was a complete relief, even more so after stripping your nurses outfit and stockings. The hot shower relaxing your stiff and sore muscles. You donned your nightgown before opening your window for your cat to come home while running a brush through your wet strands. Eventually you heard the telltale meowing of your hungry cat before you heard its soft padding jumps to your floor from your window. You manage to scoop the black cat into your arms before you have to chase him through your apartment. You pull the thread holding the note onto his collar and unfurl the note to read it.

My lucky star

You shine so brightly

My lucky star 

You guide me through the night

My lucky star

You give me hope

My lucky star

You guide me home

My lucky star

You help me more than you know

My lucky star

Oh how you glow

My lucky star

Please never let me go

The words set fire to your face as your stomach erupted with a swarm of butterflies. You pulled out your journal, pressing the note between the next set of empty pages. You turn your radio on humming along to the song as you lay in your bed fighting sleep just to think about Lucky just a moment more.

When you wake in the morning you grab a paper and something to write with as you write down a couple lines to a song, one of your favorites, before you got ready for the day, humming the tune on your way to work and all through your day. Except, you forgot to leave the window open for your cat to get out to pass on the waiting note.

----

Bucky was fighting sleep waiting for the cat to prance his way through the window before making a home on his bed. Sleep clawed at his mind, his eye lids weighed heavy and sore with a need for rest. And just like that, Bucky fell asleep for the first time without the sound of a cat purring on his bed.

He woke up and walked to the shipyard, loading and unloading pallets until the sun hung low in the sky. He felt off kilter all day. Like he was just a hair off with his footing and could never get it quite right. He was a bit more clumsy than usual. All signs that he should cancel his match tonight and back out while he still could, but he trudged on, assuring himself that he could use the money so maybe he could take his lucky star out on a proper date. He made his way to the Y for his match pumping himself up, he just couldn't help this nagging feeling though that he was missing something.

----

When you got home from work your humming abruptly stopped when you saw your cat staring at you in the middle of the room, tail twitching every so often. Your shoulder slumped when you realized you never let your cat out with your note. You moved slowly to refill the food bowl before making yourself a small dinner. Your gut sinking by the minute that something was wrong. You went to bed that night hoping the feeling would pass by morning.

When you woke you realized you were running late. You dressed quickly before running out the door and to the hospital before checking your patient list, a relatively short one, but you had patients to attend to nonetheless. You made your way through your rounds before stopping at the last bed. A mess of bruises, a boxers fracture, sprained wrist, 2 broken ribs and the rest bruised, a black eye and a concussion. However, one look into the man's eye that wasn't swollen shut took your breath away. You decided then that blue was your all time favorite color. You checked his pulse, administered his medication which involved rousing him from his slumber, and making sure his bandages were fresh and in place. You turned to leave but stopped short at the site of a baby blue work shirt with frayed edges. You thumbed over the loose threads and noticed it was missing a few as if they had been pulled and cut for a purpose. The faintest whisper escaped you.

"Lucky?" A few beats passed before you heard the man you were just attending to clear his throat.

"Luna?" He asked confused. Your hand flew to your mouth as you gasped. You couldn't believe the man that made you blush on more than one occasion, that had worked his way into your dreams even though you had never seen his face, was now your patient.

"You okay there, doll?" He asked. When you barely nodded telling him yes he began to move as if to get out of bed sending you into a flurry of motion. 

"Lucky, you're hurt-"

"Bucky. I mean, my real name is James Buchanan Barnes, but most people call me Bucky." He grits out as pain shoots through his ribcage.

"Well, Bucky, you're hurt, you shouldn't move much quite yet." He nods as he waits for the wave of pain to pass.

"What happened to you?" You can't help but ask.

"I, uh, work at the shipyard during the afternoon, but at night I box. Damn good at it too. Guess luck just wasn't on my side last night, doll."

"Uh, Y/N. My name that is. My name is Y/N." A smile made its way onto Bucky's face.

"Why didn't you write back, doll? Didn't think my on the spot poem was that terrible." The giggle that managed to escape you at his humor about his poetry was like music to his ears, and he decided that he wanted to hear that sound forever.

"Sorry, that was my fault. I wrote you a note, I really did, but I forgot to open the window for my cat to deliver it. I loved your poem actually." A blush crawled upon Bucky's face at your words. 

"What was the note?" He asked curiously. 

"Oh, just some lines from a song, nothing special."

"It's always special coming from you, doll. What was the song?" This time it was your turn to blush.

"Dream a Little Dream of Me." You replied bashfully.

"What lines?"

"Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you

Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you

But in your dreams whatever they be

Dream a little dream of me."

"That's one of my favorites, doll."

The rest of your shift you spent at Bucky's bedside talking music, poetry, family, pets, friends, where your apartment was and everything else under the sun. You told Bucky you would come by tomorrow to spend the day with him since it was your day off. You couldn't wait to come back, although it was bittersweet realizing there would be no note to come home to. 

When you woke the next morning you heard a tapping at your door. You opened it to reveal Bucky standing there with a bouquet of flowers with a note.

I dreamt a little dream of you.

[writemywaytoyourheart]

Requested: no, not at all

a/n: this has been such an emotional rollercoaster for me y'all. the only reason I made this was bc I want you all to know what can happen when you leave someone behind. So if you're struggling, please talk to someone, talk to me, my asks and dms are always open. Ily

*Listen to Clouds by Before You Exit, either before or after reading this*

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x reader

Genre: angst, bits of fluff scattered about, but just pure angst if we're being honest here.

Warnings: Language, suicidal death, panic attacks, depression, lots of hurt and depressed Kookoo I'm so sorry.

Word Count: 5.7k hoo

Read at your own emotional risk. If this is triggering for you do not read it please. Go find happy fluff on my Masterlist

The smile on your face could fool anyone. It sure did fool him.

The way you danced to the music no matter where you were or who was watching, made his heart skip a beat in his chest.

You would belt out whatever song was playing, even if you didn't know all the lyrics. A ton of 'la la la's' would ensue and he couldn't control his giggles while watching you. His heart pounded in his chest everytime he heard you sing, even though you weren't the best singer in the world.

The way you would subtly tell him that you were hungry–dramatically grabbing your stomach and groaning about how your belly button was surely sucking your spine because of how empty it was down there.

Your eyes would light up when he suggested getting lunch, and 'oh yeah sure, if you're hungry' would be your nonchalant reply, although the brightness in your eyes and the skip in your step as you hurried ahead of him gave you away. His heart fluttering as he was tripping over himself to catch up to you.

The way your eyes would get bigger as you looked at the food choices, whether he took you to a restaurant or a random food stand on the sidewalk. You were so excited every time.

The day Jungkook asked you to be his girlfriend would be etched into your memory forever. You'd been friends for about a year, he trusted you with everything and would always turn to you, and he knew that you were the person that he wanted to spend his life with, maybe have a family with someday. He actually knew it the day he first laid eyes on you–you were introducing yourself to them all, and reached Jungkook last stretching your hand out to shake his and the second you touched him–a bell went off. It startled Jungkook and he whirled around trying to find where it came from. He found that it was Jimin's alarm as the older boy quickly turned it off. He never told anyone until you two were dating, you were both hopeless romantics and you squealed in delight when he told you the story. He knew then that you were his soulmate.

The day he asked you to be his was in the spring, you two were walking along a path of cherry blossom trees. It was cliché but his cute stutter and pink cheeks made it a thousand times better.

Of course you also had your bad days, everyone does. But you always tried your best to keep a smile on your face. He admired you a lot for that. But he loved you just as much when you cried for hours, lying in his arms, feeling like you wanted to give up, when you didn't know what to do anymore, though he always helped you come down from that. On the less serious days, you would rant for a bit about what had you down, then suggest a dance party, and he would happily oblige.

You two would spin around dancing and singing along to the songs until your lungs inevitably gave out or your head got too dizzy, then you'd plop on the ground in a fit of giggles. Troubles long forgotten.

At least that's what you made him believe.

Yeah, you definitely fooled him.

Now you were gone.

And he would never get the chance to ask you why.

-

"Hello?"

"....Kookie?" Your voice on the other line sounded weak, it was late and he was worried you might be sick.

"Hey baby, what are you doing?"

"...Kookie, I'm sorry." Your voice broke at the end, Jungkook didn't think he'd ever heard you sound so sad and tired.

"What do you mean baby? It's okay, what's going on? Talk to me."

"Jungkook, I...I lo-" Were you crying? He tried to stay calm, "Y/n? Baby, what is it?" You didn't answer so he spoke again, a little louder this time, "Y/n, please answer me love."

...

'Hyung, I think I need to go to Y/n.'

All he can remember is pale.....pale walls, pale tiled floors, your body lying limp on them, pale pills dumped on the floor next to you.

Confusion and panic.

That's all he can remember. No matter how hard he tries to forget it.

Voices shouting around him. Someone grabbing his arms when he started to fade. Jin hyung picking you up in his arms, cradling your lifeless body and hurrying out of the bathroom. Where had the light in your eyes gone? Why did they look so empty?

'She's tired...she needs to sleep.'

He kept repeating the words to Hoseok who was holding him up now. Hoseok just nodded silently and held the youngest up the best he could.

'Hyung, she's sick. She needs medicine. She needs to sleep.'

Why was no one listening to him? Why was Jimin crying? Where did Y/n and Jin hyung go? What was going on? Why was Yoongi hyung shouting into a phone?

Hoseok practically carried Jungkook to the car, pushing him in and slamming the door shut behind them.

Why wouldn't Jimin stop crying? Why was Tae pale as a ghost as he sped down the road? Why was Namjoon trying to calm everyone down? Where were Y/n, Jin, and Yoongi?

What the hell is going on??

There you were, someone was wheeling you into a white room, on a white bed, your hair splayed haphazardly around your face.

That was the night he lost you.

That night.....It will haunt him for the rest of his life.

-

"Shut up Kookoo!" You laugh and hit him playfully, he couldn't help but reach out and tickle your sides to get you to stop smacking his chest–causing you to shriek and flail away from him. He loved that nickname that you always called him, and he wouldn't dare let anyone else call him that.

"Why should I?" He laughed as you kept trying to get away from his tickle attack. He had just beaten you at yet another round of 'Sorry', that stupid passive-agressive board game, and he wouldn't stop teasing you for making that one dumb move.

"It was a stupid accident Kook! Just shuddup already!" You couldn't stop laughing and kicking at him, trying to knock him off of you.

Eventually he pins your arms to your sides, and lays on top of you. You try not to let a smile break as he grins down at you, then he leans down and kisses your nose softly, then both your cheeks, he rubs his nose against yours before kissing your lips, "sorry baby, I'll stop teasing you now." He leans down and starts kissing all over your face again, giggles leaving your lips at the ticklish feeling...Then he takes your hand and looks at the little silver ring on your pointer finger–he had a matching one on his–he traces it and looks for the little engraving on it, then reads it aloud, " 'forever and always', remember when you didn't want that on it?" He makes a face at you and you laugh, "it's not that I didn't want it, it just sounded cheesy at the time. But I love it." He kisses you again,

"I love you Y/n."

"Love you too Kookoo."

-

"What are you saying?" The confusion and fear shook Jungkook's voice as he looked back and forth between Jin and the doctor he met only hours ago. None of the other members around could meet his eyes.

"What are you s-saying?" He repeated the question when no one answered him. The sound of Tae's voice cracking and his sobs starting didn't even register in Jungkook's brain. He didn't see Jimin trying to figure out who to go to, then settling on hugging Tae as if his life depended on it, seeing as Jungkook wasn't in the state to be touched.

"Please answer me." His voice was steadier than he expected. The doctor was the only one willing to look him in the eyes, "I'm sorry...but she's gone."

"Gone where?"

"What?"

"You're confusing me, please, just." Jungkook was obviously struggling, his eyes started to burn, from confusion and the frustration of not being understood.

"Jungkook-" Jin's eyes were red as he stepped forward to take his young friend's arm, but Jungkook moved back, away from Jin's reach.

"Can I please just go see her now? She needs me." Jungkook's voice broke again and he just wanted to scream, what was the matter with everyone? Why couldn't he go to you? "She needs me...."

"Jungkook, your girlfriend, she's-"

"...what?"

"She's dead, Jungkook. I'm sorr-"

"Stop it."

"Jungkook please-" Yoongi stepped up to him now, trying to take his arm, tears streaming steadily down the usually composed elder hyung's cheeks.

"Don't lie to me."

Namjoon and Hoseok were turned away, they couldn't watch anymore, their own faces were damp with tears, their eyes red and swollen.

"Jungkook, I wouldn't do that, I wish I could say it isn't true." The doctor himself was close to breaking down in tears, even though he'd seen many deaths, "I don't think it's a good idea for you to back there right no-"

Jungkook ignored him and pushed past everyone, heading straight to the room you were wheeled into a few hours ago.

The second he saw you lying on the bed, cold and motionless; his mind shut down. That wasn't you. That isn't you. It can't be. He saw you yesterday, you were in his arms yesterday. That wasn't you. He didn't know who that was, but his Y/n was fine, she was at home sleeping, she had work tomorrow. They were going to hang out tomorrow when she was done. Get ice cream and walk in the park.

You were alive. You were fine. They were all pranking him and trying to make him cry. He should call you, call you and tell on them. They were pranking him and it wasn't funny. You would scold the other members and cuddle him to make it okay again.

The sound of Hoseok sucking in a deep breath brought Jungkook back, he turned and saw the other members staring at the person in the bed. They looked sick, like they were going to cry or throw up, Jimin looked close to passing out. Jungkook shoved past them, "you're all assholes, I'm telling Y/n on you and you'll be sorry when she scolds you." Taehyung reached out for Jungkook, tears flowing freely down his face, "J-Jungkook, where are going?"

"I'm going to call Y/n, leave me alone." The boys stared after him in horror. They couldn't process everything that was happening too quickly.

Jungkook's hands shake as he dials your number, listening to the ringing. It rings again and again and again. He hangs up and tries again, after more ringing he gets sent to your voicemail; 'Hello this is Y/n, I'm sorry but I can't answer the phone right now, please leave a message. Unless you're Jungkook, in that case please call again, Kookoo! I'll answer for you.' your laugh bubbles out and then there's a beep, his voice gets caught in his throat, "Y-Y/n, it's Jungkook, please answer your phone, the boys did something horrible and I need to hear you." He tries to keep a steady voice, calling once more and getting the same message that says if it's him, to call again. So he does, again and again and again.

-

"JEON JUNGKOOK!"

Jungkook leapt up from your bed and sprinted to the living room after hearing your shout come from the bathroom, no way was he letting you get ahold of him now. He couldn't stop his giggles as he jumped on the couch and waited for you to get your revenge. Sure enough a few seconds later you stormed out of the hallway, eyes ablaze with fury.

"Jeon Jungkook what the hell is the matter with you??" Your hands are on your hips as you glare at the boy playing innocent in front of you.

"What do you mean Y/n?" His eyes are big and brown causing you to hesitate getting angry, curse his beautiful doe eyes.

"I'm gonna get you back Jeon." You harshly point an accusing finger at him and turn to stalk back to your room. At the sight of your wet shorts he bursts into a fit of laughter. You swing back around and glare at him again.

"Something funny?" There's no hint of amusement in your voice and he chokes back another laugh, biting his lip and shaking his head. You turn and go back down the hallway to change, "very unoriginal prank Jungkookie, very unoriginal. Just you wait. I'll get you worse than that." Yeah, plastic wrap on the toilet seat when you really had to pee was very unfunny.

"Love you babe!" He calls after you, smiling to himself, and chuckles when he hears you shout back,

"Shuddup, Kookoo."

-

"Shut up, you're a liar!!"

"Jungkookie, please, just listen to me." Tears streamed down Jimin's face as he held his hands out to his best friend, completely helpless.

"Get out!" Jungkook's voice broke despite the volume he was using.

"I'm not gonna leave you." Jimin's voice trembled and he sat down on the couch inside their dorm.

Jungkook clenched his fists, trying not to lash out at Jimin. He just wanted to be left alone.

"Jungkook, you need to go to the funeral. It's the least you can do." Jimin speaks up again after a few minutes. Jungkook turned on him instantly, "the least I can do? The least I can do? Who the fuck do you think you are telling me what to do?!" Jimin flinched at the words Jungkook was shouting down at him.

"Do it for her."

"Shut up."

"She loved you Jungkook."

"Stop saying that."

"I won't, because it's true."

"IT'S NOT TRUE!" Jungkook hadn't meant to scream that loud, Yoongi ran into the living room from the back when he heard the shouting.

"What's going on?" Yoongi looked back and forth between the two boys, confusion that turned into sadness written all over his face when he saw Jungkook tearing up. Jimin was the one to speak up, "he won't go to her funeral next week. He says she didn't love him." Yoongi looked back at Jungkook and saw tears spilling down the boy's face. The thoughts running around in his head were going to swallow him up.

You were selfish. How could you leave him like that? He hated you. No he didn't. He couldn't hate you no matter how hard he tried. No, he hated himself for loving you.

"Jungkook, I think you should go. At least for some closure." Yoongi said quietly and cautiously. After a minute Jungkook finally nodded, he would go. If it meant it would help him forget you.

-

Whenever he had a bad day, your face would pop into his mind and he'd immediately text you, asking if he could come over. You would always reply right away, and he'd smile down at the words 'of course love, please come over.' So he would.

You would end up holding him in your arms, it didn't matter that he was bigger than you, your arms would wrap around as much of him as they could hold, gently rocking him back and forth. His tears hitting your chest and bringing tears to your own eyes, when he was in pain, so were you.

You'd sit there for as long as it took, a few times you two had been in that position all night long. Sometimes you would sing to him, his favorite songs, lyrics tumbling from your lips, voice cracking beautifully in his ears. His sobs would turn to shaky breaths as he listened to the imperfectly perfect sound of your voice. Your hand stroking his hair, letting him know that you were there, you'd always be there.

-

You lied to me.

Those are the only thoughts that pass through his head as he stands among all the people dressed in black. A picture of you smiling is sat on top of a closed casket, your eyes seemed to be looking straight into his.

Why did you lie?

Jungkook feels someone's arm touch his, he turns and sees your mother holding onto him. Her eyes are red and swollen from all the tears she's cried in the past week, and they don't seem to be stopping anytime soon. He turns and hugs her tightly, his throat closing up at her weeping. Once she collects herself she looks up at him, "thank you Jungkook," he looks at her in confusion, "what for?" His voice is barely above a whisper and he feels his throat closing up again at her next words, "for loving my beautiful daughter. You made her happy. I don't think we'll ever know why she did it, but you're the reason she was here for so long, I do know that. She wanted to marry you." A sob escapes Jungkook's throat, "I w-was going to ask her." Your mother cries harder and holds his arm tighter, "I know, I know sweetie, thank you Jungkook, she loved you so much. Thank you."

A little while into the funeral, Jungkook starts to feel himself panic; his breaths getting shorter and shallower. You weren't here to talk him out of this panic attack. You would never be here again. The other members are all sitting stone faced, their eyes are red and a few have tears welling up again. You're never going to make Yoongi laugh again, or make Jimin blush, or tease Namjoon for being clumsy, or compliment Jin on how handsome he is, you'd never dance with Hoseok again, and who would listen to Tae talk about the most random things, with a look of pure awe and interest in what he was wanting to say? Jungkook starts to hyperventilate and when people turn and look at him he rushes out of the room and into the hallway, trying to find someplace to be alone.

The hallway is dark and he sits on the floor a ways away from where the funeral is being held. That's when the tears come; flooding down his face instantly, and his sobs wrack his entire body, he can't get a deep enough breath in to calm himself down. So he sits there and sobs helplessly for a few minutes, each breath after the next getting caught in his throat.

"God," he finally chokes out after a while, "w-why did you take her away? There was so much we were going to do together. I never even got to say goodbye," then he clasps his hands and starts crying again, "I-I'll do anything, please just give her back to me. P-please let me have her back....God, please." Jungkook sits and cries for another few minutes, saying anything he can possibly think of that he would do to have you back. For you to be alive again. So many words he wanted to say and never would. He wanted to at least know if you were doing alright, up in the sky where he knew you were. He wanted you to be alive again.

But it was too late.

-

The fight you two were having had been going on for a while now, and frankly you were over it. You couldn't even remember why it started. But Jungkook was clearly still angry and wanted to get the last word, "maybe you should stop being so whiny and annoying Y/n, and then I'd listen to you!" That stung. You've fought before but you never called each other anything, your eyes start to water and you grab your bag, throwing it over your shoulder and heading for the door. Jungkook rolls his eyes, "where are you going now? Why do you think running away all the time is gonna solve everything?" He sounds exasperated and like he doesn't even want to keep fighting now.

You turn back to face him, "I'm getting some fresh air, thank you very much, and I don't see why you should care since I'm so annoying and whiny." You go to open the door and he stands up, coming over to you. You can see the regret at his words in his eyes, but you can't find it in you to get over it just yet. You needed a break. He puts a hand on the door to keep you from opening it, "Y/n, you know I didn't mean that." You scoff and reach for the door handle again before he grabs your hand, "then why did you say it, Jungkook?" He just looks down and stays silent, yeah that's what you thought. You yank your hand away and open the door, "fuck you Jungkook. Leave me alone."

A few hours later you had mostly calmed down and you were at home reading a book in bed, when your doorbell rings. You get up and walk over to it reluctantly, you already know who it is before you look through the peephole, but you do so anyway and see Jungkook standing there biting his lip, just like you knew he would be.

You open the door and he looks at you hopefully, so you open the door wider to let him in. He immediately wraps his arms around you in a tight hug and you can't help but to hug him back, you knew he was sorry and you were tired of being angry. You talk it out and he apologizes for everything he said, you apologise for the things you said too. Eventually you end up watching a movie and cuddling after talking through it all. He kisses the top of your head and you smile, grateful that you two could always work things out. You mess with the little silver ring on your finger, smiling and remembering how he won the matching pair for you both.

-

"Jungkook, maybe you should take a break." Jimin wipes the sweat off his forehead and walks to his bent over friend slowly, putting his hand on his back and rubbing it, "look, we have a while to learn it, please just rest Kook-" Jungkook jerks away roughly, "please don't call me that." His voice was different, heavier and without a lot of feeling, it had been like this for almost a year now. Jimin looks hurt but says nothing more. They all saw a difference in Jungkook since you passed away, they would hear him crying in his room every night, they wouldn't miss the tears that choked him during certain songs they performed. There was an emptiness around them all, and they weren't sure it would ever be filled again.

Tae walks over when he sees the scene unfolding, he looks at Jungkook and tries not to look upset for his best friend, knowing it would just make things worse, "alright guys, we're all going to take a ten minute break...Jungkook can we talk please?" Jungkook huffed but agreed, moving over to sit on the couch on the side of the dance room. The other members walked out of the room to give them some privacy.

"Look, Jungkook. I'm not going to try to say anything much, but I do want to say this. Y/n loved you, she was hurt and couldn't tell anyone. It isn't your fault, Jungkook. No one saw it coming."

"I should have."

"Don't say that."

"It's true though, what kind of boyfriend was I that I didn't even see the signs? That she felt like she had to hide it from me? I-it's all my fault." Jungkook's eyes start to water and his breathing starts to get quicker and shaky, a panic attack was coming on. Tae swallows his tears and reaches over to put a hand on Jungkook's leg, bringing him back. Tae swallows hard and trudges on,

"It wasn't your fault. But, I think you need to seriously think it all through, and then let go."

"I don't want to let go."

"Why not?"

"Because no matter how hard I try and say I want to, I don't want to forget about her."

"You don't have to forget about her Ko-...Jungkook...But I think she wants you to keep living without her now, she would be sad to see you like this."

"Then maybe she shouldn't have been so selfish and decide to leave me alone."

"You don't mean that." Tae can't keep his shaky tear stained voice under control and he turns away to wipe his eyes.

Of course he didn't mean it, but being angry seemed to make it hurt less. Maybe he should try, like Tae said, maybe he could try to keep you in his heart while continuing to live.

Like you would want, and he always wanted to make you happy.

-

"Hey, Y/n. What about this one?" Jungkook tugs you over to the huge ride, the kind that swoops around in a giant loop. Your stomach drops to your feet but he looks so excited; bouncing up and down with his big doe eyes shining brightly.

Well, at least you hadn't eaten anything yet. Maybe you could do it once before lunch and get it over with. He lets out a shout of excitement when you nod and then he pulls you over to the line of people waiting to get on the ride. As you wait for your turn you tap your foot anxiously, Jungkook notices and wraps his arms around your waist. You smile and he lays his chin on your shoulder, "love you baby~" you tsk and bring your hand up to pat his cheek gently, "love you too, I hope you know that since I'm doing this for you." He chuckles and holds you tighter.

After the ride, which wasn't as bad as you thought–having held Jungkook's hand tightly the entire time–you two find a table to get some lunch. You order and try to ignore Jungkook's teasing about how hard you held his hand and how he thought it would fall off. He keeps laughing as you roll your eyes playfully and avoid looking at him.

When the food comes, you both start to eat, then you notice a little girl and her older brother ordering some ice cream at one of the many food stalls in the fair, a few feet away. Jungkook turns to see what you're smiling at and smiles widely himself as he turns back to you. "I bet that's what our kids will do someday, Y/n...We should take them here, right?" You look at Jungkook happily and nod, you couldn't wait for that day to come.

Later that day, you and Jungkook stopped at the claw machines, Jungkook insisted on trying to get you a stuffed animal. After about ten tries he frustratedly walked away, you tried not to laugh at him walking away only for him to see another machine and say he actually wanted to get you that; which was a little egg with two silver rings in it. One for you and one for him, he said.

Miraculously he was able to get the little egg and he cheered loudly in triumph, reaching down to get it out of the machine and quickly telling you to put the smaller one on. It was cute, and Jungkook's matched.

Later you ended up getting the engraving, 'forever and always' on it.

-

Jungkook's eyes open slowly, the sun shining in through the window, signalling to him that it was time to get up now. He closes his eyes again and turns onto his side, pulling the covers up to his chin and taking a shaky breath. He tries his best to conjure up the dream he just woke up from, he didn't want to leave. Please come back. His eyes start to burn and tiny tears pour over his lashes when he blinks.

His alarm goes off a minute later but he just ignores it, the insistent beeping drowned out in his thoughts, he can't escape. When he opens his eyes again he sees you lying beside him. He blinks but you're still there.

"Hi Kookoo."

"Y/n?" His voice shakes uncontrollably as he tries to make sure he isn't dreaming.

Your eyes fill with tears and you nod, "yes Kookie, it's me."

"H-how...are you still alive? Y/n are you actually alive?" His voice starts to raise in hopes that maybe this had all been a nightmare. A horrible horrible nightmare. He starts to sit up on his arms but his face falls and his heart crumples when you shake your head, tears slipping out and rolling down your soft cheeks. Your face looks so soft and healthy, not at all what it looked like the last time he saw you.

"I'm sorry Kook, I'm so sorry." Your voice cracks and wavers as you start to cry. He reaches out and touches your wet cheeks, slowly rubbing the tears away and at the same time doing the one thing that he knew always calmed you down.

"Shhh, it's okay love. Don't cry please." He didn't care if this was a dream, you were here. His beautiful Y/n had finally come back to him. He wipes your tears gently, after he wipes them all away he keeps his hand on your cheek, softly rubbing with his thumb.

"Jungkook, I need to say something."

He looks at you and feels his tears returning, he nods and says slowly as if just realizing something, "that's why you're here isn't it? That's why you came back." You close your eyes and take a deep breath, then nod while you bite your lip, trying your very hardest not to throw yourself into his arms and cry.

"Y-yes, Kookie I need you to-"

"Don't."

"What?" You open your eyes again and see the desperation in his face as he seems to be having a battle with himself, "don't tell me, please. Y/n please don't leave me again." He starts to cry and your heart is torn to pieces, he reaches out to you and you push yourself into his arms.

Jungkook's mind is racing a mile a minute. You were in his arms, you were alive and in his arms. He hadn't felt your warmth for over a year and a half now. Jungkook buries his face into your hair and inhales deeply, memories flooding back into his mind. "Y/n, are you okay? Please tell me you're doing okay." He feels your tears wetting his t-shirt and he holds you tighter, listening carefully when you start talking again–voice muffled by his shoulder, "I'm alright Kookie I promise, but I miss you...I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize the effect it would have until it was too late." Jungkook's breath catches in his throat at your words. He leans back and brushes your damp hair out of your face, "how long do I have?" He whispers sadly, tears threatening to choke him once again.

-

The walk. The walk in between the cherry blossom trees all that time ago when he confessed, that's where you went.

You walk side by side, holding hands, eventually you stop and turn to Jungkook. He focuses on you even though all he wants to do is turn away and cry. You smile at him and squeeze his hand, "Jungkook," he blinks hard and nods in affirmation that he's listening. "Jungkook, I don't have a lot of time. But I need you to promise me something." He nods again and you continue, "w-when I leave, I'm not coming back," you ignore the tears streaming down your face, "I need you to promise me that when I let go of your hand, you won't look back." Jungkook takes in a shuddery breath, "I'm sorry Y/n, that I didn't see, I couldn't save you. I don't know if I ca-" you cut him off before he can finish. "You can, and none of it was your fault Kookie, it isn't your fault. If I could take back what I did," he shakes his head tears already slipping out again, but you continue, "I would take it all back. I made the biggest mistake of my life, and I hurt you in the process. I ruined the future we were going to have one day." You're full on crying now as he cries next to you, his shoulders shaking, "and I want you to know how sorry I am." He pulls you into a hug and cries into your shoulder, his breath comes out in heavy gasps, "I forgive you Y/n, I forgive you, I love you so much." He keeps repeating those words while you hold each other for another minute, just crying. Tears of sadness and relief that he forgave you spill out of your eyes and you clutch onto him.

You two go to a ton of different spots that you had dates, stopping to get ice cream, to fulfill the promise you broke the day you died. Eventually you end up at the fair, standing in front of a claw machine that was full of random items, one of them being a small egg that contained two rings. You stare at the machine for a minute before turning to the young man that you loved. He was staring at you, one hand in his pocket fiddling with something, you look at him curiously and he looks down, pulling his hand out and opening it, to reveal a small ring with a chain around it, your ring.

"Jungkook, you still have that?" You refuse to cry again, but you see his eyes well up with tears. You hated that he cried so much nowadays, and hated more the fact that it was you who caused it.

"Of course, we made a promise Y/n, 'forever and always', remember?" You nod tearfully not caring about your stupid 'no crying' rule anymore, and he wipes your eyes gently.

"I'm scared Y/n, I don't want you to leave me again." His voice trembles and he doesn't try to stop the tears. You hug him tightly, letting your own tears escape for the last time, "I'll be with you Kookoo, forever and always. But I have to go know, please keep your promise?" He nods as he hugs you against him, then he pulls back and kisses you quickly before he starts to cry harder. Jungkook hugs you one last time, enveloping you in his big strong arms, the last time either of you would feel each other.

The regret and anger with yourself is overwhelming you, but Jungkook hugs it all away. In a tight warm promise that he's forgiven you and he will keep his last promise to you.

You both pull away and that's when you turn, giving his hand one last squeeze before you walk a few feet, "goodbye Jungkook," you whisper your last words to him, he swallows hard, "goodbye Y/n, I love you." With those words in your ears you walk away and disappear.

Jungkook lets out one last sob and puts the necklace with your ring on it around his neck. He got to say his goodbye. He would never forget you, he didn't want to. But, he forgave you and he would live on with your memory in him. He kept in his heart what he knew; that someday, he would see you again. When you meet in the clouds.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n 2.0: I can't stop sobbing rn. Somebody help me. I'm so sorry for this, but I hope this shows you that there is always another way, but when it's over, it's over. You can't come back. More people than you know will miss you. The future is unknown. So please stay.

[funknrolll]

Celebrating Prince: discovering a timeless artist and his meaningful and impactful art. Part 4. The Truth, The Vault.. Old Friends 4 Sale and Rave Un2 The Joy Fantastic eras.

Hi music lovers, as I anticipated on monday, music addiction is going to celebrate Prince and his amazing and timeless work!! The article will be split into a few little articles. I hope you enjoy this new format and these articles!!

As I said yesterday, let me say that I have heard so many things about Prince’s artistry. Some comments came from uneducated people who did not even take a second of their lives to understand, and do research on his art. Hence, I think the time to shed some light on Prince’s art, has come (finally). I hope to help some of those people understand this artist better and to finally appreciate him the way he deserves. We owe Prince big time. Today’s music and musicians  owe Prince everything. Without him, many of the artists we listen to today, WOULD NOT BE EXISTING. As we all know, Prince loved to experiment with music, trying out new music genres, new styles, new harmonies, melodies, rhythms and so on. This is one of the factors that led this legend to create a unique, wide and broad vault. There are so many songs of his that I love so much and that I find relevant for this article. The ones I chose, are going to prove that Prince and his music did not just revolve around sex and sexuality, (even if the artist through his music took the topic to another whole level). Through the article, we will see that Prince was more than all that I mentioned above. He was an extraordinary human being, blessed with so many enormous talents, with a beautiful mind, a uniquely pure soul. A true gift of God. With this in mind, let us start this article.

The other three part of the article are already out on this blog, so check them out if you’d like✨

In 1998 Prince released 2 albums: Crystal ball and the Truth. The most relevant is, however, the Truth which was conceived as an acoustic album even though it contains some electronic sounds such as distortions, electronic instruments, sounds effects. Despite that, Prince focused on giving the album an acoustic sound. With these new, the almost minimalistic acoustic sounds emotional lyrics addressing political issues, animal exploitation, and the loss of a loved one, the artist unravels his most private and delicate side. Some of the songs I loved the most are The Truth, The Animal Kingdom, and Comeback. The 21 century was going to be the era of fake news and as I mentioned the artist was also predicting the era of fake news. Related to this topic these lies express how fake news can create an increase in people’s fear of death. Indeed, looking at the lyrics: 

What if half the things ever said

 Turned out 2 be a lie

 How will U know the Truth? 

From the beginning of the song, he is educating the listener about the lies we are told daily and the fake news we hear daily. 

What If time's only reason?

 Was to give us all somethin' 2 fear?

 And if so y'all, the end of the journey's so clear 

These lines address the issue of how the lies create the fear of death. 

If there was just one day

 That everybody tell the truth

 We'd all trade bank accounts & move to back to Neptune 

The song closes with the artist envisioning a world without fake news and with no lies. What I find extremely relevant is the contrast between Prince’s performance and the sound of the guitar which is even more remarked while Prince chose to perform most of the song in a light head voice. What I also find remarkable is the use of electronic sounds such as the ticking of the clock right before singing the line” What if time is the only reason”

Another song that I particularly love is The Animal Kingdom. Prince addressed the issue of animal cruelty. He also gives the listener clues about him being vegan. As the lyrics are quite straightforward, there is no need for a further explanation, however, what makes the song unique is its instrumental as this album is characterized by an acoustic sound. Indeed, the artist used a wide dose of electronic sounds and he distorted his voice as well. I also noticed an exceedingly clever use of sounds effects such as animal sounds. 

The third song I mentioned is the Comeback which is extremely personal, deep, and emotional. It gets straight to the heart. This song is about losing someone dear and as in 1996 Prince lost his first and only child, I would assume that this song was how the artist was dealing with this heartbreak unfortunate event he experienced. He then crafted a sophisticated but yet simple instrumental entirely played with an acoustic guitar to which he added some of the most BEAUTIFUL AND TOUCHING lyrics to ever be written. Personally, as I have just lost my grandfather and my grandmother as well, I feel this song extremely close to my heart, Prince with these words and his beautiful performance had been able to touch my heart in such a way that only true artist with an ENORMOUS sensitivity could do. Moreover, taking a look at the lyrics:

Walking up the stairs

 Just the afternoon

 Sweet wind blew

 Not a moment 2 soon

 (Hoo) I cry when I realized

 That sweet wind was USpirits come and spirits go

 Some stick around 4 the aftershow

 Don't have 2 say I miss U (don't have 2 say I miss U)

 Cause I think U already know

 If U ever lose someone

 Dear 2 U

 Never say the words they’re gone

 They'll come back, yeah

 They'll come back, yeah yeah

 They'll come back

 Tears go here

 Tears go here

 Tears go here

 Tears go here 

The song lasts only 1 minute and 59 seconds, and it consists of a few lines. However, with these few yet powerful words, the artist has been able to communicate one of the worst experiences he could possibly go through. What left me so mesmerized about this gem is how Prince could tell and perform this heartbreaking story with such a beautiful and unarming gentleness that only he could do. Moreover, the Artist opted for an acoustic album to craft this masterpiece, which is in perfect harmony with the main theme of this song. 

In 1999 the Artist released his last album with Warner Bros, The Vault. This work features unreleased materials. In my opinion, there are 2 relevant songs on this album which are There is Lonely and Old Friends 4 Sale. 

The blues ballad There is Lonely is characterized by some straightforward used to express Prince’s pain caused by a deep sense of loneliness. 

Is it me or did the room just get darker? 

 Is it me or did I just lay down and die? 

 Is this a dream or did the world just crumble at my very feet? 

 How in heaven will I ever be alright? here is lonely and there is lonely 

 And then there is how I feel right now 

 Perhaps only Cain when he'd slain his brother 

 Could ever come close to knowing how...yeahThere is lonely and there is lonely 

 And then there is how I feel right now 

 Perhaps only Cain when he'd slain his brother 

 Could ever come close to knowing how there is lonely and there is lonely 

 And then there is how I feel right now 

The short yet impressive and effective lyric is a poignant rant where the Artist with some heartbreaking metaphors conveyed to the listener what he was feeling. Additionally, as we can see from the lyrics, Prince is comparing loneliness to darkness and to death which is complementary. Moreover, loneliness is also compared to the world crumbling at the artist’s feet. The artist depicted the feeling of loneliness as something so overwhelming that he was not sure he would have ever been all right again. The heartbreak led the Artist to feel like nobody could ever understand how he felt. Additionally, Prince used another relevant metaphor which involves Cain and Abel, the two biblical from the book of genesis. As I mentioned, the music genre opted is blues and suites perfectly the general topic of this masterpiece, enhancing the sorrow and the pain the artist felt. Prince’s performance is another poignant yet interesting characteristic. The artist sang these words with a beautiful soft voice he was almost whispering, perhaps he opted for this beautiful and sophisticated performance because sometimes if we want to be heard we must learn to whisper. This, indeed, makes this masterpiece even more effective because we can really feel the sorrow and the exhaustion the artist was feeling. 

The second song I mentioned is Old Friends 4 Sale. This might look like a sad love-story but it is not. It is indeed a song about betrayal and being backstabbed by someone the artist trusted. Indeed, this masterpiece was written out of rage. The song is about Jimmi Jam and Terry Lewis respectively the Time’s keyboardist and bassist. According to the book, Prince and the Purple Rain Era Studio Sessions 1983 and 1984, by Duane Tudahl, recounts the fateful day of March 24, 1983. The Time was due on stage in San Antonio that evening to open for Prince. Jam and Lewis were in Atlanta, producing sessions for the SOS Band. “We get to the airport, and it starts snowing”, said Jam in an interview recalling the half-inch that shut down the airport. They missed the gig and were later fired from the band. But unlike the dozens of talented musicians that would come and go from Prince’s orbit in the years ahead, Jam and Lewis were different – they were like family. Moreover, Prince already warned the Time not to produce music with other bands, to prevent his friends from giving away the signature sound that made them so special. Despite Prince’s warning them, Jimmy and Terry did not listen. However, Prince was not the one who decided to fire Jam and Lewis. Indeed as Prince said in a 1990 follow-up Rolling Stone interview with Karlen, "I'm playing the bad guy," says Prince, "but I didn't fire Jimmy and Terry. Morris asked me what I would do in his situation. You got to remember, it was his band." Besides all of that, what I find impressive is the orchestral arrangement of this song. Prince opted for another blues song which suits extremely well the general meaning of this masterpiece. Moreover, the beautiful, sophisticated, complex arrangement of the song was crafted by Clare Fischer. The song presents an exceedingly wide variety of musical instruments and a mesmerizingly broad spectrum of harmonies. 

The following album is Rave In2 the Joy Fantastic released in 1999. Among the songs that I prefer in this masterpiece, there are Eye Love You but I don’t trust you anymore, Man ‘O’ War and Whatever U go Whatever U do. With this album, the Artist is letting the listener catch a glimpse of how and why his relationship with his former wife Mayte Garcia, was ending. Moreover, Prince was in constant evolution artistically and musically and this album is the proof of it. Indeed, the sounds of this album are extremely different from the previous ones he released. Eye Love You But I Don’t Trust You Anymore is one of the most intimate, personal and heartbreaking songs the artist had ever written. The simple and neat arrangement was crafted for voice, piano, and guitar. The lyrics of this masterpiece are also quite straight-forward.

I could tell from the moment you walked in the room

That it wasn't your dress you had on, that wasn't your perfume

And what happened to the ring that I gave you?

What am I to assume? I love u, but I just don't trust u anymore You could tell f

rom the moment you looked in my eyes

That I could see right through you, you must apologize

I've always given you the best in life

Even in the wrong, it was right

I know you trust me, but you don't love me anymore, I remember meeting you here in the good old days

I would never pick the flower of my favorite protege

 Maybe if I would have

Then you would not treat me this way

You tricked me but you will not anymore, no, I love u, but I don't trust u anymore 

According to what these lines are inferring, the artist was cheated on by his partner which led to a widespread belief that the person he was singing about was his former wife Mayte Garcia. Indeed, Prince says he did not recognize his wife and her perfume and that she took off the ring he gave her. Moreover, in the last verses, Prince is claiming to be the one who was cheated on as he sings “ I would never pick the flower of my favorite protege/ Maybe if I would have/ Then you would not treat me this way/ You tricked me but you will not anymore”.  As I said, the song seems to suggest that Prince was cheated on, and being wronged by an unfaithful spouse was fairly new territory for the artist’s lyrical repertoire. Moreover, as regards the arrangement, it is extremely simple and intimate as it is made of a piano and an acoustic guitar, courtesy of the indie rock artist Ani DiFranco. Moreover, this is one of the most nakedly emotional songs by the musical genius. This emotivity is so hearable in Prince’s voice and it is indeed super clear that he was hurt and wounded. As regards the lyrics the message Prince is delivering is extremely powerful and the pain and sense of betrayal are totally feelable. However, these lyrics were performed in such a gentle and delicate way which made the message delivered even more poignant. Moreover, Prince might have opted for spare but yet sophisticated lyrics so the beautiful vocals and the lyrics could be brought to the forefront and hence the listener could put all his attention to them. This is in my opinion on of the most beautiful and heart-wrenching songs that the artist has ever done. Furthermore, the second song I mentioned is Man ‘O’ War. Allegedly, this is another song where the Artist expressed his anger and pain for what he endured when his relationship was dissolving. Indeed, as in Eye Love You But I Don't Trust You Anymore, the lyrics are extremely clear. In fact, from this song, the listener can expect to hear the story of a man who was tired of being in an unpeaceful relationship. From the lyrics, it becomes evident how hurt Prince was to the point that he felt like he was robbed of his dignity. On the other hand, he wanted to have the peace of mind and how he wanted to be loved and wanted again. However, this could not happen with the person he was talking about because as the Artist said “ But lovin' you, lovin' you, lovin' you is a waste of time”, therefore with the” 7-page letter” the artist mentions (perhaps hinting to the divorce papers), the marriage between the couple was just meant to dissolve. As regards the arrangements, Prince chose a slow and extremely intense r&b song that suits the lyrics perfectly. Furthermore, on a more positive note, the third song I mentioned is Wherever U go, Whatever you do. Through some forthright lyrics, the artist delivers an extremely uplifting and motivating message. With these words inspiring words the artist, encouraging each of us to be positive and smile and to pursue our dreams and always try our best no matter what. Another lesson we can learn from Prince is to learn from every situation, good or bad, and that even if we fail sometimes, it is ok as long as we tried our best. This is one of the most heartwarming, most powerful, and biggest lessons that Prince has taught us and that he had lived his entire life up to. As regards the performance, the Artist uses such a beautiful, gentle, and delicate head voice and I honestly can feel all the love and the positivity he was putting into this masterpiece. I think also that the lyrics are so BEAUTIFUL that, I need to report them here. 

Wherever U Go, Whatever U do

 Oh please, remember that I'll always be there 4 U

 U don't have 2 call, U don't have 2 say

 Just think about me and I'll be on my way

 I don't have 2 worry, I'm sure U'll be fine

 Cuz if U stay happy, then what's yours is mine

 Wherever U Go, Whatever U do

 Remember that I'll always be there 4 U

 (Oh Baby)

 Wherever U R, think of your dreams

 Oh please, remember life ain't always what it seems

 4 each rainy day (rainy day)

 That comes your way

 The sun will come shining and U'll be okay

 Keep on smiling - every girl and boy

 Remember when U were children U had toys

 Wherever U R, think of your dreams

 Remember that dreams become the life U lead

 Whatever U play, it's okay 2 lose

 Ooh sometimes (sometimes...)

 As long as U learn from every game U choose

 If one thing is sure, U'll always endure

 If U try your best at everything U do

 Say what U mean and mean what U say

 The price 4 a broken heart - it's 2 much 2 pay

 And nothing is worth it if U don't have 2 try

 The higher the stakes - the higher the sky

 Wherever U Go, whatever U do

 Please remember

 Remember that I'll always be there 4 U 

If you guys would like to purchase your copy of the albums I wrote about in this article (which I recommend, PLEASE DO NOT BOOTLEG PRINCE’S MUSIC), I’ll post the links below✨

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07G4RBKVX/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=giuliabianchi-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=83159c110419ccae1e65f81e748becc1&creativeASIN=B07G4RBKVX

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B002C7C25K/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=giuliabianchi-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=ef3f50f598a5d101ef449e332467257c&creativeASIN=B002C7C25K

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07NHR5XWZ/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=giuliabianchi-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=e1e74ca6b12fa9f07c1d18d6086f8377&creativeASIN=B07NHR5XWZ

This was the 4th part of a series of articles dedicated to Prince to celebrate his life and most importantly his art. Stay tuned for more. If you have missed the first part feel free to check it out✨ In the meantime stay home, stay safe and healthy. Peace and Love 4 one another. thank you so much for your attention 💜 G  💜

[tommyscurls]

Michael & Maria + Sweet Home New Mexico

Two ten year olds were running in the desert during a storm, a first kiss that left them figuratively and literally struck by lightning. A kiss that lead them to a wedding at 18, with a groom half drunk and a wife attending her reception by herself with puke down her dress while he slept it off.

They were so in love but too stupid to know what to do with it.

(•••)

7 years later

Micheal stepped out on his porch to see what his dog was barking about, what he saw was the last person he thought he would ever see, causing him to drop the truck part he was working on.

"Shit" he mumbled under his breath. She was still as beautiful as the day she left him.

"Stop staring and get your stubborn ass down here and give me a divorce" Maria said already annoyed by his presence.

"You show up here after seven years without so much as a "Hey there Micheal, remember me your wife" or a "Hi Honey! Looking good"

Maria stands there taking in his handsome face covered in grime and grease "You expect me to tell you you look good? What, they run out of soap at Walmart since I left?" Wiping the smirk off Michael's face.

He turns to walk back into the house. "What are you doing?" She yells. "Leaving. You should recognize the gesture" Michael says as the screen door shuts.

Maria let's out a huff and stomps up the porch steps "Michael! You dumb, stubborn redneck hick! The only reason you wont sign these papers is because I want you to." Micheal swings back around "Wrong! The only reason I ain't signing them is because you turned into some hoity-toity LA bitch, and I like nothing better to do right now than to piss you off!" He says as he slams the door.

Maria rolls her eyes and starts off to get the spare key.

(•••)

Maria is sitting on the couch pissed as Michael sits on the barstool drinking a beer, all of a sudden he starts laughing as he goes for the door.

Maria then notices the blue and red lights reflecting off the house. "You called the Sheriff! You know Valenti hates me" she hurries to find a place to hide but a voice stops her in her tracks.

"Well, well, look what the cat dragged in" Maria turns with a smile and runs into the arms of Max Evan's as he spins her around in a hug that she has desperately missed these past seven years. "Oh Alanis we missed you around here" Max says as he release her. "Max, I can believe you're the Sheriff now" She has missed her brother in law so much.

"Yup. Get to frisk pretty things like you all day, and get paid for it" He says with a laugh "Just don't tell Liz I said that" He winks.

Michael decides it's time to break this reunion up "Alright Maxwell, let's be a little more professional, we have a crime suspect here". Max turns to Maria putting on a stern face "Now Maria you can't be breaking into peoples houses" He tries to lead her out but she starts walking to her purse "I didn't break in, I used my key" she says holding it up. "Well, it's still not your house"

Micheal wears a triumphant smile "Use the cuffs Max, please". Again before Max can lead her away she goes back to her purse "If you get him to sign these, I'll let you run me out of town." She says with a devilish smirk that if he wasn't so ass backwards in love with Liz, he would be a goner for.

"That's none of your business" Michael says as he tries to take the papers but Max beats him to it. "Divorce papers? I though you said you took care of this Michael." Max plays along for Michael's benefit knowing full well he hasn't taken care of it. "I thought I had" Michael stammers. "Well, since you are still married this is her house too and nothing I can do, I'll let y'all catch up" Max proceeds to walk out the door as Michael starts at him "I suppose shoplifting steaks from Walmart is okay" Maria runs behind Micheal "OH! I took them back and you know it!" she points at him.

Max continues to the door and Michael tries again "You remember that vandalism in the stockyard? Totally her." Maria scoffs at him "Like I could tip a cow, by myself." Max finally makes it to the door laughing under his breath as Michael makes a final attempt.

"Max. Isn't there an outstanding warrant for the person who dumped your jeep in the fish pond" Max stops in his tracks and Maria let's out a huge betrayed gasp.

Ha. Got her.

(•••)

After a day of cleaning out their joint account and making Michael crazy by sprucing up the place and acting like a wife, she finally got him to sit down to sign the papers, but there were a couple questions on her mind that she needed the answers to.

"What are you doing with all that cash? And since when did you quit Sanders? You're not doing anything illegal, are you, Michael?"

"Maybe I am. So what? I don't ask you about your boyfriend, you keep your nose out of my life, deal?" He looked up at her and she could see the hurt in his eyes.

"Who told you?"

"Honey, just 'cause I talk slow doesn't mean I'm stupid." He looks back down at the papers saying softly "Nobody finds their soul mate when they're ten years old."

Maria feels like she got punched in the gut. "Yeah I guess not" she looks down at her feet. She walks over to the mantel looking at the pictures of her truck that Michael restored for her when they were 16. "I saw it in the garage when I first got here, I can't believe you kept it"

Michael looks up at her and he has never seen a more beautiful person in his life. Right then he decides he needs more time, he can't lose her again.

He looks down at his phone "Oh, hey Maria, you know what? I just remembered I have a date tonight" He stands up "You don't mind if I have my lawyer look at this right?"

"What!?" She let's out. How is it that this man can get her so riled up in 2 seconds flat.

"I'm just a simple country boy, there's words in there I can't even pronounce" He walks back to the bedroom when he hollers out "Thanks for stopping by"

Maria is beside herself and all she can do is release a breathe of frustration and stomp out of the house.

(•••)

After crashing Michael's date (which was NOT out of jealousy) with a really nice guy named Alex and making a complete ass of herself in front of all her friends she wakes up with a hangover and divorced papers signed on every line, every I doted.

This is what she wants, this is what she came home for. Then why does she feel so hollow?

Maria climbs up to the top of the Crashdown Cafe to finish her apology tour. Liz is already there hands resting on a rounded belly. Maria's heart aches at the sight, for joy for her friends and sorrow for what she lost at 18.

Liz looks up at her approaching and just like that Maria's let's it all out, neverending flow of tears as Liz pulls her down into her arms "I'm so sorry I left." Liz sushes her with "I know" with so much more understanding than she deserves.

With the tears and apologies out of the way Liz let's something slip in hopes that it will help heal her broken friends.

"He went out to California"

Maria is stunned.

"A year after you left. Michael doesn't know I know, Max let it slip one night. He told him he hadn't seen anything like it, saw how happy you were singing on stage, he knew right then he would need more than an apology to win you back."

Maria was still speechless. More tears were building in her eyes as Liz continued.

"He needed to concour the world first, hes been trying ever since."

"That's why he kept sending back the papers" she said with realization. Liz nodded.

"He went back to UNM and graduated at the top of his class. He's started restoring old trucks and selling them all over the country"

So that explains all the money she thought to herself. Michael was finally becoming the man she always knew he could be.

(•••)

"Thought I'd find you out here"

Michael turned his head to the voice as she joined him on the bed of his truck.

"Still love watching the storms roll in, some things never change" she said as she bumped him with her shoulder.

The two of them just watched the sky in the middle of the desert as the storm rolled in.

"Can't get a view like this out in California can ya Deluca?" He asked still looking out at the horizon unaware of her looking at him not the sky as she replied "No, you can't"

A moment goes by before she speaks again "Ever wonder what would have happened, if" Michael cut her off "We hadn't have gotten pregnant?" Maria nods her head. Michael takes a swig of his beer as he gets his thought together.

"I thought that baby would be an adventure. And it took me a while to realize, it would have been your only adventure. I wanted so much more for your life than to be stapped down with a kid and a husband going nowhere at the age of 18. So I didn't fight you when you left." Maria could see the tears in his eyes.

"I just needed a different life, after we lost the baby, I was just in so much pain" Maria said wanting him to know that she didn't leave because of anything he did.

"You done real well for yourself. I'm proud of you, Maria". He stopped her from saying more. Michael finally turned to look at her and rested his hand on her cheek wiping away a tear.

"I'm just sorry I never danced with you at our wedding, I'm sure this next one's gonna go better for ya."

Maria couldn't take it anymore and brought her lips to his and poured all her emotions into the kiss, hurt, sorrow, love. Michael started kissing back just as much as she was but he was about to do the hardest thing he ever had to do, he pulled back.

"Maria, you have a fiancee, you need to go" Maria pulled back feeling rejection and shame and without a word hopped off the truck and ran to her car.

(•••)

What do you do when you fiancee shows up and promises to give you the life you always dreamed of?

You plan a wedding.

Walking down the aisle and this should be the happiest day of your life but you know this is not right. As if on queue you see your lawyer running down the aisle and you tell him Michael signed the papers and yes that is true but you didn't.

Knowing you can't marry this man you tell him you gave your heart away a long time ago and never got it back.

You tell your friends and family to stick around your going to go find yourself a groom.

(•••)

It's raining when she gets to his garage Liz told her he owns. He's under the truck in the open bay when he hears Maria say

"Hey Cowboy, you owe me a dance"

He gets up and meets her out in the rain, the water making his curls she loves so much disappear.

"Nice dress, where's your husband?"

"I'm looking at him, apparently you and I are still married"

Michael can't say anything hes blown away with how gorgeous she looks in that dress soaking wet. What she says next makes him want to kill Max.

"Why didn't you tell me you came to see me in California?"

"I had to make something of myself."

"You about done?" She throws at him.

"What is it about you girls? You can't make the right decisions til you tried all the wrong ones?"

"At least I fight for what I want." Not backing down.

"Oh, what do you want, Maria? I don't even think you know."

"You're the first boy I ever kissed, Michael and I want you to be the last."

"Maybe you and I had our chance." He says as he starts to walk away from her.

"Fine! Have it your way, you stubborn ass!" She says running after him. Michael finally stops and turns around.

"Why do you want to be married to me for, anyhow?" Maria walks over to him and puts her hands on both his cheeks.

"So I can kiss you any time I want."

Michael can't hold it in anymore and pulls her into an earth shattering kiss that makes them feel like their world snapped back into place. Michael releases her and whispers

"I love you so much"

"Baby, you have no idea how much I love you too" Michael pulls her back into him.

Eventually they make it to the reception and finally have their first dance.

Michael has never been so happy, until one night three months later when they're cuddled up by the fireplace and Maria whispers the words "I'm pregnant"

[rambleonwithrosie]

150 Followers. Feel free to take this and use it yourself.

Okay so if you've been following me you know that at every milestone of 50 I go and answer 50 questions. So this time they're all gonna be Queen/Classic Rock specific and y'all are all welcome to take these and make asks out of them or reblog/copy with your own answers.

Favorite Queen member's solo album? Strange Frontier by Roger Taylor

Who of the band would you call to help you fix a flat tire? John, he's a dad and a diy guy, as much as I wanna say Rog I just don't want to deal with a drama queen when I'm having my own drama but I've seen him under the hood of a car so I've no doubt he probably knows how

What do you think Brian May smells like on am average day? Very woodsy, like pine needles and some light but expensive cologne

How would you kiss Freddie? On the cheek like a good friend I just can't get into his looks enough to think about kissing him any other way

How would you kiss John? Well if we're talking long haired fluffy John I'd probably psst at him to come around the corner and then give him a kiss and see what he does

How would you kiss Brian? Very carefully otherwise @squeezemylemon is gonna kill me so probably the sweet quick chaste type kiss

How would you kiss Roger? (My moment has come) I would walk up to him and grab ahold of one of the necklaces he wears and just pull his lips down to mine and crash mine onto his wrapping my arms around his neck kissing him for all I'm worth or less dramatically if we were just sitting on a couch or something I'd just lean my head up off his shoulder and press a gentler sort of kiss to his lips and see where he takes it after that

If you were going to date one of their kids who would it be? Felix, I'm partial to brunettes usually (Roger and Luke Skywalker are my exceptions) and he seems pretty cool and has done a lot of different things which would be interesting to talk about

Favorite gif of your least favorite band member?

10. Most recent Queen photo on your phone

11. Favorite piece of fanart?

I can't pick just one. I also don't remember where I found these and if you know the artist I'll happily tag them in the most. The artbis most definitely NOT mine

This is mine

12. Queen song that makes you want to cry? Love of My Life

13. Which band member would you pick to keep an eye on you at a party so you don't get too crazy and make it home safe? Brian probably, I would say John but I feel if he's drinking he'd be less than no help

14. Who's flat would you ask to crash at? I have reasons to want to say Roger's but banging aside I'd probably pick Freddie he was generous and funny and would probably do his beat to cheer me up from whatever circumstance had made me not have a place of my own to stay

15. Who would you want to teach you to play an instrument they play? Well I genuinely feel I'm best suited for drums so I'm not just saying Roger because he's my dude. Plus he could teach me the most instruments anyways considering as he knows drums, bass, electric, and keyboard.

16. If you could spend a day with Freddie what would you do? I'd just want to sit and have tea and talk and maybe go shopping later hear his advice and crack some jokes

17. Favorite solo song by a Queen band member? As far as written by goes, it's probably Let's Get Crazy or Happiness by Rog bit overall it's gotta be Rog's version of Racing in the Street *chills*

18. Favorite live performance?

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19. Whose singing voice do you like best? Roger Taylor (nothing against Fresh he's amazing)

20. Whose speaking voice do you like best? Again Roger Meddows Taylor for the win

21. Write a snippet where you're holding hands with your least favorite band member.

Freddie had never been to an amusement park before, hadn't wanted to go really, but John had begged him to come along and then left him with Aston to babysit while he dealt with his actual children. It wasn't that she had anything against Fred it's just him tagging along on her elbow was keeping her away from the drummer whose attention she wanted. They got onto one of the rides and she saw how pale Freddie was looking and felt sorry for him. It wasn't his fault that he was being a third wheel or that the drummer was off on one of the more dangerous rides that Freddie was not about to get on.

"You can hold my hand if you want" Aston joked looking over at Fred.

"Really?" He asked a little relieved. The two of them chuckled and to Aston's surprise Freddie's black nail polished fingertips interlaced through hers and he looked a little more at ease for the comfort of human contact.

"It'll be fine" she grinned and then the ride took off and the black fingernails damn near dug into her hand in panic.

22. Write a snippet where you're fighting with your favorite band member.

They had been living together for just over two months and despite not knowing how to boil an egg Roger somehow found a way to get into the kitchen and put things in the wrong spot. He came home from the stall.

"Where is the paprika?" She leveled at him before he had scarcely shut the door.

"The what?"

"Paprika, Rog, the spice that I was going to use for the supper I was cooking us, but I can't ever find anything in this kitchen" Aston said muttering as an afterthought "thanks to you."

"What was that?" Rog said coming over to her and looking darkly with his blue eyes.

"Just tell me where you put the paprika and we'll be fine" she sighed.

"I didn't fucking touch anything in your stupid kitchen" he glowered going to the liquor cabinet.

"Well I still can't find it" she huffed.

"Not my problem" he said swigging straight from the bottle.

"Well if you want dinner it kind of is" she retorted.

"I'll get something out" Rog said dispassionately.

"Fuck you" she muttered and went back to banging through the cabinets in search of the missing spice. She was on her knees with half her body in a lower shelf looking in the back and growing hotter for Roger showing no signs of caring or helping. She smelt the dish starting to burn on the stove and tried to crawl out, raising her head up and whacking it on the shelf above. She let out a round of oaths.

She went over to the stove and moved it off the heat halfway between tears and screaming.

"I'll order something" Roger said standing up.

"I can fucking cook!" She shouted "if only I could find the things I need when I need them."

"Well don't yell at me about it" Roger said and brushed past and out the door.

Aston collapsed onto the floor sitting with her back to the cabinets and started crying. She sobbed into the kitchen towel. So much for her cosy dinner at home with Rog. She was so distraught that she didn't hear the door open and close. She felt her fingers clutching the towel pried open and looked to see a bottle of paprika put into them. She turned her teary red eyes up to Roger's face. He pulled her to her feet and held her in his arms. Softly stroking her hair and planting a gentle kiss to her cheeks.

"Come on, I got us reservations, you can cook your thing tomorrow if you still want to" he looked down at her smiling and put a kiss to her nose and grinned at her in his arms.

23. Favorite picture of Brian

24. Favorite picture Roger

(Well it's one of many favs)

25. Favorite picture of Freddie

26. Favorite picture of John

27. Best song to slow dance to? One Year of Love

28. Best song to make out to? I'm In Love with My Car

29. Best song to drive to? Breakthru or Don't Stop Me Now

30. Best song to strip to? Tear It Up

31. What era of the band would you like to hang out with most? I wanna say mid to late 70s. I'd rather not have to hang out with them during Hot Space 😂

32. Favorite song on your favorite album? Rock It (Prime Jive)

33. Least liked song on your favorite album? Probably Play the Game

34. Who would you want to take care of you if you were sick? I feel Brian would be the most knowledgeable but I'd probably prefer Fred just cutting up and maybe grabbing the aspirins and whatever else was needed. I just don't feel Brian would be funny enough to cheer me up. And Rog I just don't know how good he'd be at taking care of someone

35. Who would you want to go driving with? Roger. Duh! So many reasons!

36. Who would you pick to spend a lazy (non-sexual) afternoon with? Well not that I'm just into Rog for the sex, he'd still be my first pick because laughs. But second would be Brian.

37. Rate how thirsty you are for each band member? Freddie 0/10. John variable between 0/10-6/10. Brian 2/10-4/10(red special is factored into Brian). Roger 1000/10 (cars aren't factored into Rog otherwise I'd break my phone adding zeros to that 1000)

38. Least favorite Roger song? Sheer Heart Attack

39. Favorite Brian song? Sail Away Sweet Sister or Dragon Attack

40. Least favorite Freddie song? Body Language and Get Down Make Love

41. Favorite John song? One Year of Love or If You Can't Beat Them

42. Are you excited for the Bohemian Rhapsody movie? Yes. Not insanely. But moderately excited yes

43. Is Queen your favorite band of all time? No. They're in my top 3 but The Moody Blues were my childhood and are so unique and very special to me

44. If you married your crush from the band where would you go on your honeymoon? The beach. Hopefully the Pacific Ocean. Probably some nice private beach just to have space with each other and I love water and he loves boating and stuff.

45. Who has the nicest butt? While I prefer Rog's ass I must admit John possesses the superior booty

46. Who has the best smile? Roger. Hands down and not just because he's my main man all around it's literally made of sunshine

47. Who would you go to if you were scared? Roger. I don't get scared so if I did I'd want someone around to make me laugh my fears away

48. If you were going to be in a crime fighting/super hero duo with one of the band, who would it be? John. He's sound and sensible and so long as he can handle my forceful personality and not write any DISpatches raking my bad behavior and rash decisions we'll get along

49. Do you listen to Queen daily, or at least multiple times a week? Yes especially if you include their solo works

50. Have you written any Queen fanfiction or made any fanart? Yes. Fanfiction galore. Some has yet to be posted but when I do it will be on @drummerinthecupboard

[omgpourquoi]

I'm not sure if you're still doing the song fics, but I wanted to suggest a song just in case! Romantic by Stanaj is definitely one of my nurseydex songs :)

Can’t Be Happening: The Playlist Fics

*This is not a good fic, but here it is?*

the rhythm of this song is awesome. the words are like whatever but the tempo is like kinda sexy?  

Honestly, this is what came from it? It’s v early NurseyDex, like just after they’ve become friends? I have no idea why this is what the song inspired but here it is!!!

Song: Romantic by Stanaj

Nursey tried not to make a habit of lying to himself, but when it came to Dex all bets were off.

He’d been nervous all day. It was a Saturday, so naturally he’d only been out of bed to go to his dorm’s vending machine for some crackers. His roommate went home for the weekend meaning he had no shame about staying in his bed and watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine for a million hours.

But at 3, Dex texted him. Well, Dex texted the Frogs group chat.

Dex: movie night?

Nursey: my roommates out so we can do it here

Chowder: I’m hanging with Cait tonight :( but you guys should still hang out!

Nursey had stared at this screen for another minute before he’d gotten a text from just Dex.

Dex: Can we watch Cops?

Half laughing, half rolling his eyes Nursey sent a thumbs up emoji.

Dex: Good. I’ll be there at like 4? Bringing pizza.

Nursey: M’kay, chill.

Nursey threw his phone back onto his bed and pressed play on his laptop.

It took about a minute after that for the weird antsy feeling to creep into his gut.

It was like anxiety, but not as bad. Not completely consuming, but definitely there. After a few more minutes, Nursey pressed the spacebar and shut his laptop. With a sigh, he pulled himself out of bed to take a shower.

The antsy feeling still nagged him. He used the energy to clean up his room and take out the trash. Hell, he even vacuumed. He changed his shirt and then, because now it was just weird, his pants. Nursey looked at himself in the mirror. Was that a zit? No, not really. He opened his laptop and found an old episode of Cops on Youtube. He paced the floor and check his phone. It was 4:02.

Why the hell am I acting like this? It’s literally just movie night. It’s fine. It’s chill.

If Nursey were being honest, he knew why he was acting like this, but this was something he just couldn’t be honest about.  His phone buzzed.

Dex: I’m at your door.

“You could knock?”  Nursey chirped, opening the door.

Dex stood in the door way, phone in one hand and pizza in the other. He looked like he always did, flannel, skeptical eyebrow raised and all, but it still hurt Nursey a little  to look at him.

“My hands are full,” Dex shrugged, slipping into the room.

Nursey swung the door closed behind him. “Dude. Did you get-“

“Half pepperoni, half pineapple,” Dex said, kicking off his shoes and tossing the box onto the bed. “Almost like I know you or something?”

The teasing sarcasm in his voice made Nursey’s heart hum and he struggled to ignore it.

Dex pulled himself onto the bed and Nursey grabbed water bottles out of the fridge. He handed one to Dex and strategically sat at the other end of the mattress, still sorting through his thoughts.

“I was for real about Cops…” Dex trailed off. His uncertain tone snapped Nursey back to the present. With a snort, he opened his laptop, displaying the Cops logo.

“It’s almost like I know you or something,” Nursey couldn’t hide the smirk in his voice. Dex rolled his eyes. Nursey cut the lights and they ate pizza and laughed at idiots.

In the dimness of his fairy lights, Nursey couldn’t tell if the tension was all in his head. Not like the angry tension he and Dex had often, but something else. Something different.

One that made him want to doing something crazy. Nursey knew he was a romantic — he’d honestly never met an English major that wasn’t —maybe he was just in a mood? The feeling of tension, like a string, was pulling him closer to Dex in the dark. He’d started at the end of the bed, but now they were both in the middle, hunched over the screen.

Maybe the wave of… feelings was just a side effect of spending the day alone?  It felt like a lie, but Nursey clung to it anyway. The alternative was more terrifying. Maybe he would think about it later. But for now, he would eat his pizza and ignore the fuzzy feeling in his chest.

The Rules™

1. You send me a song from this playlist and I write a Nurseydex ficlet about a word, lyric, feeling, etc 2. You can also suggest songs that you think should be on the playlist. I’ll add it if I like it and write the fic. 3. I can’t write that they’re just singing the song more than let’s say…three times? Bc that’s just cheating.4. Y'all can send suggestions with the songs but it’s okay if I don’t use them. I most likely will though

Other stuff:- Probably won’t get super smutty just cause people I know might see it? But also some of these songs are saucy™ so maybe?- Generally, I don’t do AUs. Not my cup of tea most of the time. But again, some of those songs super lend to it so, no promises either way!

Find the rest under the tag “the playlist fics”

[topherfoxtrot]

Nosy neighborhood

(or a reflection on the bittersweet nature of nostalgia)

What about a one shot about a tv show I never watched? It sounds fun doesn't it? Well it contains spoilers for the third Webisode of the walking dead called "The Oath" released in 2013. It can be easily found on Vimeo. Trigger warnings include grief and pessimism. Also I wrote this one on first person because I just think first person writing is neat😄

Everyone was gathered in the building that used to be a church. Except from the obvious architecture though you couldn't even tell. Even the beautiful stained glass was mostly gone. And there was no giant wooden cross in sight. Only tables full of food, drinks, and of course the band composed of four singing voices, an acoustic guitar, two saxophones, half a set of drums, a fucking button accordion, a xylophone and a def. Basically every instrument the scavengers could find over the years. Since the world has ended our neighborhood united to form a urban fortress.

I was in a corner with some friends not really interested in the conversation. My eyes scanned the whole place looking for the handsome, tall man with his long blonde straight hair. When I finally spotted Paul grabbing some food I whispered without actually intending to.

"There you are!"

"What?" One of my friends followed my eyes, "Oh my god are you really going after the man?"

"Dude is just introvert!" Another friend rolled his eyes, "That's why he is always in his basement."

"That is simply not true!" I said, "Y'all know how much I hate people, alive or otherwise, and yet I'm always here for our sunday gatherings."

"You know what?" my friend finished her beer before continuing, "Fucking go after him. If it turns out he's just lonely you will get my cleaning shifts for the whole month. And if you find a big secret of his or whatever I'll get yours. How about that?"

"It sounds like a deal!" Me and my friend shook hands with smiles on our faces.

"I can't believe you're going to bother the poor man just because he likes to eat by himself." My other friend shook his head in disapproval before smiling too, "But anyways if you find anything please spill the beans to us!"

"Gotcha!" I winked at them before making my move.

Paul put a lot of food inside an old Tupperware and walked towards the door like he usually did. I moved between the people trying to avoid being seen by him. Paul briefly talked to one or two people before leaving. I left the church a little after, making sure to give him time to step further from the door.

Most of the people were at the church so the streets were empty. I sneaked around corners and alleys and cars like I did so many times outside the walls. I still remember before the outbreak when not everyone needed to be a soldier in order to survive. It's been almost seven years but I still caught myself getting nostalgic sometimes.

I followed Paul for a few blocks. Housing was an issue in our community. Over the years more people started to come and babies started to be born once we reached a certain stability. Paul was one of those people who duo to his efforts towards the community gained the privilege to live on his own instead of in one of the communal houses like I did. He was one of the scavenging teachers after all. And my favorite one, I might add.

Besides being handsome he was also super quiet about anything that didn't concerned the classes. And to become a survivor as good as him you gotta have a past. We asked about it before but he always avoided the topic. This made me even more curious. I've always felt like he was hiding something and tonight I would finally figure out what!

It took a couple minutes for him to reach the big house with two floors and a front yard. Instead of entering the front door though he bypassed the house to enter through the basement door in the back. Paul lives in a basement just like a character from a book I read before the outbreak. Something about a woman watching her neighbours or something. I don't remember the details but I do remember one of the characters lived in a basement like Paul does.

I leaned on the wall and listened carefully as Paul opened the metal doors. After listening to his steps gradually fading as he went downstairs I sneaked into the entrance feeling glad he didn't lock it. I waited there for a while until I was confident Paul was distracted enough not to realize the sounds the doors would make. I opened just one door super slowly and checked every few seconds to see if there was any abrupt movements inside. When I closed the door behind me everything was in darkness expect for the light coming from one of the rooms. My hand instinctively reached for my gun but it wasn't there. I didn't carry my gun inside the walls.

I cursed myself in silence and started to walk downstairs. I wish I could see all the furniture Paul had but I couldn't announce my presence so my only option was to follow the light, which I did swiftly. I could hear a voice but it took me a while to make any sense of it.

"I know you would love those parties they make every Sunday." Paul's voice came from the only room with light, "We even had those back in the day, you remember?" He let out a deep sigh, "I still miss those days. We didn't have much like we do here, but we were happy, weren't we? I don't want to sound ungrateful or anything but I miss that, you know? I miss you, Karina."

There was not a sound to be heard expect for Paul's voice. The easiest explanation was that Paul was probably talking to a portrait ou painting like so many of us do. Death is such a common experience among the survivors. With this conclusion I could leave the house, but I wouldn't be satisfied. I wanted to know more about this Karina woman he was talking to. And about those old days.

I reached the entrance of the room but didn't dare to look inside. Instead I stayed there in silence, all my muscles stiffed. Quietly listening to Paul eating his dinner.

"Dominic talked to me again. You know, about the shifts and all that." Paul chuckled, "I'm not sure if we are just talking or flirting at this point. I know you are as terrible at this as I am but a little help would be good."

Paul chuckled again and a moan was heard. I felt my spine freeze as I obviously recognized the sound. A guttural and tired moan only a walker could make. I finally peeked into the room. There was no bed or beside table or any fortnite whatsoever. Paul was sat on a wooden chair eating his dinner with a fork. The most shocking thing though was the walker. The undead had it's arms tied tightly in a straightjacket. Saliva was falling from her mouth in the most grotesque waterfall I've ever seen. Paying special attention I realized her mouth was toothless. There was almost nothing left of hair in her head and the skin was this unnatural tone of grey. That walker was old. A thick chain kept it near the wall.

"What the fuck?" I whispered in terror.

Faster than I could even register Paul got up and pointed his revolver at me. I put my hands up and froze still.

"It's me! It's me! Please don't shoot."

It didn't seem like Paul would shoot me but he didn't put the gun down either. Instead he looked deep into my eyes. I tried to read him but as usual it was impossible to know what he was thinking.

"What are you doing here?" He asked finally with a deep voice.

"I... I was just-" the truth is that there was nothing to be said. I was there because I wanted to know what was up with him. And now I did.

"You shouldn't be here." He said firmly.

"I k-know!" I stuttered, "But you know what I'm already leaving, actually!"

"No!"

I stayed still. Paul took a deep sigh and finally put his gun down. The silence was only broken by the walker's unnerving sounds. Paul walked across the living room and brought a chair with him. Without saying anything he invited me to the room with the walker. I sat with them. Looking at it made me so uncomfortable all I wanted was to runway from there as fast as I could. Still, I stayed.

"This is Karina." Paul started, "We met in a settlement right after the outbreak."

"She died." I said, "And you couldn't let go of her."

"It's a little more complex than that."

I tried to look into Paul's eyes, but he was facing the ground. Once he was ready, Paul looked up at me.

"We made and oath. We wouldn't abandon each other no matter what. And when would fight for each other. One lives, all live."

Paul lifted hir shirt a little to show a huge scar on his belly. It looked well healed, "Our camp got raided by walkers. Me and Karina were the only survivors. I got this scar as a souvenir. But it looked bad, and I went unconscious for a couple hours."

At this point I kind of realized where this was going. I read Romeo and Juliet back at school. I hate tragedies. Paul lowered his shirt and shifted on his chair a little.

"Karina couldn't face the world on her own. She wanted to end all this pain and suffering."

"Oh no..." I covered my mouth slightly.

Paul tilted his head, "She killed herself. Once I got there it was already too late."

He stayed in silence for a while and I realized there were actual tears dropping from his eyes.

"But we made an oath!" He cried out. "We vowed never to leave each other and that's what I did!" He said even louder. The tears cleaning his face. "That's what I did-!!"

He choked on his own tears and couldn't say anything else. Paul just buried his face on his hands and cried while the walker (or should I say Karina?) moaned quietly in it's never ending hunger.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, no knowing what to say.

Paul got up still facing the ground. I quickly got up too and hugged him. He was taller than me so he had to bend a little to hug me back. That made his weight fall upon me. I had to stiff my legs in order not to simply fall down. But I carried him. He kept crying louder and louder. The walker got agitated but it didn't left it's place due to the restrains. I closed my eyes shut wishing with all of me for this to be over. Not Paul or the walker. Just everything else.

Pain and suffering left a scar on everyone. And I couldn't help but think, clouded by my own nostalgia, how much better things were before.