#I would love to talk abt the last one. I'm kinda unsure abt the idea but well gjdfkhgfd

[makaalpaca]

Every year i draw a new reference for him because I love him the most <3

[carmenized-onions]

SIGH you got me good with this one I fear

Okay so the chap is still fresher in my mind this time since I read yesterday!! Itemized yap sheet incoming below based mostly on the order they happened

1) Yoooooo

That just cracked me up okay. Had to add. But also like. I love them. I love that Tony is so nervous to catch up with Richie bc it means talking abt mikey, but also relieved and excited ish to talk to richie bc it means talking abt mikey does that makes ykwim

2) AAAAAAA listen the way that Carmy thinks about Tony to calm down?? Like hes having a panic attack and he thinks about Tony and is calmed slightly by smelling her shampoo in his hair literally makes me ILL

2b) kinda related but also like not ?? But Anyway Like. Carmy like unsure whether or not he is actually scared/believes Richie when he says he could end his relationship with tony got me like on my knees in my workplace when I read that bc UGH he has absolutely zero confidence and i just want to kiss his face okay. Also him not really wanting to share tony with Richie is so real of him actually. Like he wants Tony to just be his and that's so sweet.

3) if we dont find out the chip storyline ill riot if only for Carmy's sake cause like Carm, im also now very intrigued that Richie didn't immediately blab when prompted but also go richie thats very cute

4)AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Scream break mb

5) last one but like the painting??? The way that it starts with the beef and has like pictures of before and stuff and the mid point is mikey and then it has pictures from like the building process and ends with the The Bear sign? IM DECEASED YOU KILLED ME THATS SO GOOD WHAT LITERALLY WHAT

6)okay im i liar whatever could i edit the post yes will i no. I digress. Last one fr. So the way both their lil povs end with them saying on friday they'll do right by each other??? Im so gone actually wtf

Anyways as always i adore you and your writing RAAAA

HEHEHEH GOTCHU!!! GOT YOUR ASS!!!

yoooooooo -- The next convos are really some of my favourite to write, i get to amp up the funny and math out what their texting styles would probably be, it's fun!!

Also yes, it's very much that part of grief where it's like a knife to talk about them, but it's also nice, it's weird when in the grief process, everyone around you acts like that person just simply Never Happened in fear of being triggering-- It's nice for Tony and Richie to get to talk raw!! Even if it's anxiety inducing to lead with it!!

2. Hehehhehe, he does it a LOT, When he called her before, trying and failing to get her voicemail, when he was having an episode in the diner and then Tony came back and he became Normal mostly. Grounding Tool but it's a Person

3. listen baby, I don't put a gun in the first act just to not fire it. I've had this backstory since chapter two. And honestly, I was extremely nervous that someone was gonna guess it and I was being too obvious. Thank God, no one has, yet-- But also no one's guessed, so like, feel free to throw in your guesses, love to hear em.

4. AHHHHHHHH!!!! Here let's see, during this scream break what can I give you...

This is what I'm screaming over, personally. This is Chapter 10 alone, LMAO. AND I'M NOT EVEN DONE LMAOOOO. The goal for me is to get it out this Friday, so it's like, timely and on theme. But we'll see how tired I am, this work week. Might've just gotten a commission (that I honestly don't want to take lmaoo) so we'll see. Fingers crossed. It's definitely gonna need me to take my eyes off it for a day and come back to, so keep your fingers crossed, for me.

5. OH GOOD! I was worried I described it poorly; there's always that fear, when you have to make the thing that's like the thing of the story, and if it's not good then what the FUCK WAS IT FOR!!!!!????

I'm vv happy to hear it killed you, is what I'm trying to say. I also thought the idea was very sweet. Hehhehe

6. You're always free to yap on end, never fear such a thing. Yes!! Their POVs start and end the same way, which is just like, a cute lil touch, yknow. Two anxious mfs. In the club tnnnnn, trying to do right by each other if it fuckin' KILLS them

thank you thank you thank u as always i love to hear this and i hope u enjoy Friday whenever the FUCK it comes out.

[luvdsc]

thanks for giving me some advice, miss cat <3

i have been crushing on him for about 4 years at this point which is kind of embarrassing but ... last semester when i started texting him, i slid into his dms w a pretty lame question about apush bc i heard from a friend that he had the same apush teacher as me 😭

i'm still unsure if it's a good idea for me to kinda go after him yk?? like for one, my dad said that i have to get straight A's this semester (and all of my classes are hard ;-;). and idk if i should just drop the boy and work solely on my studies? bc my parents are strict (typical tiger mom + same goes for my dad), they become control freaks when they're upset ;A;

also, idk if it's bc he's shy or smth bc he'll never text me first :(( does that count as a red flag ??

but he never texts first. i really don't know if i'm just picky ?? bc i have this issue with a lot of my friends,,, and usually i don't mind but sometimes i get self conscious and think maybe they never text first bc i'm annoying knsdhks :((

he's interested in landscape photography !! i'm one of his 24 followers so idk if that's a good thing but,,, i'll take it as one :)) i'm very loud with people i'm close with, but i'm very quiet and awkward with people i don't know too well, so i'm kinda scared talking to him in person at all HAHAHA

it would be a power move to just confess and see what he says LOL but idk if i'm bold enough to do that... but then again i was bold enough to cold call the teacher i fear the most today LMFAO

so i'm just thinking to myself, is it worth it? will i be happy? does he even like me at all? i'd love to hang out with him if i weren't so scared

summary of last sem: late august, i slid into his dms, texted him frequently until sept, when i stopped bc on 3 separate days, i texted him & he responded and left kinda? maybe he was busy. in november, i texted him again & it turned into a ~2 hour convo. over winter break, i texted him more. rn everything seems to be going well but i haven't texted him in abt 2 weeks bc i'm just... confused.

what does he mean? my friends think that he opened up to me more (kinda?) bc i left for 2 months, maybe he thought i was cool ?? but he's also not texting back anymore?? but also we never talk irl bc i'm scared but idk why he doesn't, bc he's mentioned that he knows i'm in his class :/

from, 🦊 anon :) omg sorry for the long ass ask

hello :) it's 🦊 anon here

idk if my last ask went through, so i'm asking again ;-; sorry if you have already seen it, i'm just not sure :(

i'm thinking about taking your advice about just going for it, but i'm scared bc i'm expected to get a 4.0 gpa this semester 😭 my parents are extremely strict too ://

but also i've liked this boy for almost 4 years, and i like him sm idk what to do :(( it's embarrassing how much i think about him 💀💀

and i really don't know if his lack of interaction id bc of him being shy or being uninterested,,, my best bet is probably talking to him irl but i'm scared and HSNDHSA i'm a coward. as much as i want to forget him and move on, i feel like i'll regret it 😭😭

last year in august-december i texted him but stopped halfway bc he seemed uninterested bc he didn't continue convos?? but then i texted him again and he was fine again :/ i'm very confused. did he miss me? was he busy? i waste so much headspace over him but i can't let him to ;A; i like him too much

from, 🦊 anon (this ask is stupidly long... i apologize 😔���

✿ ✿ ✿

hey, sweetpea !!! omg i'm so sorry for the late reply, i got your first message, but it's hard for me to answer longer asks on mobile, so i finally had some time to go on my laptop tonight to answer !! 💓 how have you been? how's life been treating you, lovebug? 💛

omg four years :o it's not embarrassing at all, honey bee! romance is just one of the many things that make up life, and it doesn't have to take the front seat all the time. you can get to it at your own pace, and that's perfectly okay !! 💕 omg you made the first move heck yes honey bee, i'm proud of you for doing that !!!

ah i definitely feel that, i also had strict parents and a tiger mom 🤧i think while it's good to focus on your studies because education is important, perhaps there's a way to also enjoy your high school years while doing so? when you look back during these times, i hope you'll have more memories than just studying :') that's something i regret a little bit - i was very focused on my studies and extracurriculars too, but sometimes, i wish i did more fun things and spent more time with friends back then. maybe, in order to find some sort of middle ground between school and your crush, you can ask if he wants to study with you one day for the class you have in common? like prepare for a test together !!

you could never be annoying, lovebug !!!! ):< take that back !!!!! does he respond with one worded answers and try to cut off the convo as fast as possible? that might mean he's not interested, but if he's giving you long replies and seems geniunely excited to talk to you about things, like photography, then i'd say he might be a little shy :')

oooo omg landscape photography is so cool !!! maybe you can ask him if he's taking photos of anything new lately or if there's anything he wants to photograph next! 💖 one of 24 followers omg i'd say you're special, and that he at least sees you as a friend if he trusts you with that 🌸 aaa it can definitely be nerve wracking to talk to someone face to face, like you can't spend time thinking up a witty answer, but it's also a good way to see how he reacts to you in person and if he is equally as happy and excited to talk to you because uh.... boys can be the driest texters sometimes 😬

if you feel like you'll regret it, honey bee, then i personally say you should go for it 🤍 live without any regrets. would you rather find out what would happen if you confessed or continue to think of him as a what-if in your life? the worst thing that can happen is that he doesn't feel the same way. and it'll sting, but you'll get over it, and you can move on knowing that you did what you could, and you're now ready for the next step in your life, rather than sitting around in the past wondering what could have happened if you had just talked to him.

omg you cold called the teacher aldksjfhlaksjd that takes GUTS !!!! and it would definitely be a power move if you asked him out :') why not ask him to prom, sweetpea? or maybe ask him out on valentine's day aksdhfasd

ngl sometimes when boys disappear from convos, it's because they're playing video games or something alksdhflkasjd it happens to my friends and their bfs or i'm hanging out with my guy friends and they completely neglect any texts they get for the next 12374289 hours 💀💀 also, based on my own experiences, boys have a harder time of opening up to other people like girls can become instant bffs in the bathroom of a club, but i think guys are not as open to expressing themselves due to societal pressure and all that, and that leads to some roadblocks in convos at times. have you texted him again lately?

but wait did he just stop replying to your texts ?? or did he stop because you haven't texted him for the past two weeks? he knows you're in his class, so my suggestion would be to text him and ask if the two of you can study together sometime :') i think that gives an excuse for you to see and talk to him in person, but also have a safety net to fall back on because it's also for school purposes !! and from there, you can really see how he feels if he agrees to meet up for a study session! 💘

i'm so so sorry for the late response, honey bee, but i hope this is helpful for you!! and omg you don't have to be sorry, thank you for trusting me enough to send this in 💛 i wish you all the best of luck with school and the boy, and please keep me updated !!! 🌷🌷

[mc-dude]

i need help i'm so tempted to write a fantasy halbarry au with a cute cleric barry and his lantern knight but i'm really insecure about how to write barry's personality and inner monologue pls help ur the Premier Barry Authority and i trust u implicitly

i get a lot of these kinds of msgs (FOR SOME REASON??? IM FLATTERED) and im really shit at responding to all of them so ill try to fit my Thoughts in here

first and foremost, if you are unsure about a character’s personality type or inner thoughts– read comics! seriously the first thing i do before i write anything is binge read as much content as humanly possible (comics, wikis, etc). readcomicsonline.to is a good resource for broke people (usually i read on there first, and then buy a physical copy later if i think its worth it) and that’s how i read most of barry’s comics.

secondly– THIS AU IS SUPER CUTE.. reminds me and @spector’s extensive dragon age au where barry is a circle mage (who is a spirit healer being helped by the spirit of Hope) and hal is a templar who gets infected by the arch dragon Parallax…… sighs wistfully… i still need to write that one day.. i got like 12 pages of small elf barry in my gdoc somewhere.. MAYBE ONE DAY………….. anyways

thirdly– i can’t really tell you what exactly barry will be thinking about, since it’s an AU, but i can tell you.. i guess what he’s like? like….

barry is always thinking of other people before himself. if there’s something wrong with hal, you bet barry will be thinking about how to make hal better before he even considers his own problems. he will go out of his way to accommodate other people and make them feel comfortable and safe at great personal disregard because barry is a Protector first and everything else second. you could say that this stems from him “failing” to protect his mom as a kid but honestly barry has always been this way since way before geoff Edgified his origin story. i’m assuming since barry is a healer in this AU he would be going out of his way to cast little spells n such to make hal feel Good. barry feels good when other people feel good, that’s just how he is. it’s one of his most defining characteristics, to the point of it being one of his flaws.

i guess another one of barry’s traits is that he doesn’t really do mean-spirited humor. he’ll poke fun at people, sure, but he isn’t like, super sarcastic in a mean way. compare his brand of humor to someone, say.. ollie? they’re kinda opposites. ollie will be like ‘u huge piece of shit haha’ but barry will be like ‘omg ur ridiculous’ kinda thing. idk if that made sense? but there it is. he’s not a mean boy. he’s kind always.. UNLESS.. the people he cares abt are being threatened and then he will get Angry.

barry is also self-conscious for a lot of reasons, mostly stemming from his sudden transformation into a Hunk from a Cutie Patootie & his isolationist childhood. he still sees himself as a sort of scrawny nerd and forgets sometimes that he’s Swol. people hitting on him? goes right over his fuckin head. he has no idea when people are flirting at him and when he does realise it (after it’s made painfully obvious) he will blush and stutter and generally have no idea what the fuck To Do. likewise when someone actually wants to talk to him he’ll be a little surprised? because he’s so used to people avoiding him. people wanting to be around him is something that a constant pleasant surprise to him, even though he yearns for human contact constantly

he’s also pretty reserved and quiet, always thinks things out thoroughly before speaking. this stems from his isolated childhood where any wrong thing said would be held against him and used as bullying fodder. he was avoided by most kids and left to his own devices, so he developed as a pretty introverted dude. i don’t think by nature? just sort of out of necessity. i think the right person (cough… hal…) could bring out his extroverted side and really get him talkin n laughing a lot but he just sort of naturally reverts to isolation mode because that’s just how he grew up. the fact that he takes a lot of time before saying anything (something expedited by his speed) gives him a reputation as a very thoughtful person, which i think is indisputably accurate. your birthday coming up? you fuckin bet barry is THERE, 800 balloons and a home-made cake in hand.

i guess maybe the last major thing is that barry loves giving & receiving affection. it’s something that he had a lot of as a kid but throughout most of his adolescent years was essentially deprived of in all forms. he’s sorta desperate for any sort of affectionate contact and even tiny little touches, like an arm thrown around his shoulders, someone squeezing his arm or a pat on the back are SO important to him. he cherishes every little touch, which is good because hal is a VERY touchy dude. barry will often just be Struck by how warm a person’s hand is or how nice it is to have someone to lean against or just.. very small things that a lot of people take for granted, but barry had to live without for years and years

i guess that about sums it up. let me know if you have any other questions

[survivorkomnata]

Episode #10: “ I'm a fucking Virgo. If you burn me I will never forget it.” - Jess

Dear Alyssa,

For someone who claims to have a HUGE interest in Astrology.... you seem to have forgotten the fact that I'm a fucking Virgo. If you burn me I will never forget it. You declared war and that's on YOU.

i hate this “we only start talking an hour before tribal” nonsense that this merge tribe has going on. like pls get your lives together sooner. i don’t even message ppl anymore bc we just do the “yaaa i haven’t heard anything” “me either” back and forth

i feel pretty hopeless in the game i’m ngl, fully think we should just wrap it up now and give zach the win

alyssa is an emotional and illogical player who came into the merge with the goal of miguel and luke being voted out for voting against her premerge. she didn’t think of the long term, only revenge. it’s embarrassing.

i don’t rly have an endgame path. or anything anymore. i miss luke and stephen.

So, yesterday was a bit of blindside for me. Not even really because Luke left, I woke up that morning willing to vote him out myself, but because I was unable to get Karth, Tim, or Alyssa on my side. I don't think any of them are truly "against me" at this point but it's a little worrying that Luke left over Jake, who I still don't really have a strategic relationship with.

Alyssa confronted me last night saying that other people had gone to her and said that I was planning to target her once Jake was gone. This isn't exactly true, but it has enough basis in reality since I have talked in the "4-elements" alliance about how we should target Jake before going after Alyssa. I'm not sure who went to her with this idea, nor do I know if she was even approached with it in the first place. Alyssa has deceived me for 2 votes now. First, she outright lied to me about voting Zach out at F10 (I still don't technically have confirmation of this, but it makes sense that she'd take out Luke/Miguel as soon as possible). More evidence supporting that she lied is that the former Kato2.0 side decided to vote Luke out next, which would be odd if he was the one to flip to their side at the first merge vote.

The second thing she lied about was being on the fence at this last tribal council.  After Luke was gone she told Jess that we "should've known she didn't want Jake out" despite her never saying that to us. It's clear that Alyssa had planned to vote Luke out as soon as she knew this would be a 5-4 vote. But she lied to me about that and wasted my time up until the very last minute.

Basically, what I'm saying is... it's getting exhausting to try and work with her strategically. It's not like Ally/Jess/Karth, who I feel I can talk frankly and honestly with. I want her and Jake gone. Jake hasn't really "wronged" me in anyway, but I can tell him and Alyssa have to at least be a little close so the jury can have both of them. Honestly, I kinda want them both gone more than Zach at this point. I'm doing my best to win this upcoming immunity challenge so people stop going behind my back, but if Zach were to win.. well... I certainly have a few alternatives in mind.

I am feeling a bit stuck in this game. With Zach in the game I feel my game is pretty restricted and I would feel too bad to backstab him. I already felt bad for voting Luke. I just dont know what to do here.

i have no idea what’s happening

zach and karth have reached out to me about potentially trying to reconcile and ofc i’m open to that

i’m kinda worried they’re voting jess out and i hope not bc i love her

i wish i had any kind of idea what i was doing

i wish luke didn’t get voted out

i wish this idol search made sense

i wish i was a little bit taller i wish i was a baller

So apparently Zach and Jake are throwing around Stephen's name with my name as an alternative. I'm not surprised at all at this rate. I figured this would happen as soon as I took my strike at both Zach and Jake.

The only possible saving grace from this all is that both Alyssa and Tim let me know about it. This kind of gives me a glimmer of hope that both of them aren't willing to at least vote me out at this stage in the game. If they'd did.. they'll look like idiots because I'm playing such a horrible game. I have yet to make a big move or win an immunity, I don't have any solid alliances aside from "The Last Hope" which honestly just a circumstantial alliance and most likely we die soon. Taking me at this point is ridiculous because I'm literally the perfect person to sit final 3 with right now.

My game plan at least now is.. I want either Zach or Jake to go. If I can work the angle of Jake or Zach trying to get me out as a way to sway people who think I'm their best friend in this game... yeet. If not I am dead and I will write my own eulogy....

If I get voted out because I lost immunity by 1 point.. I WILL FUCKING RIOT.

Ok so sorry for the lack of confessionals going on I have a lot (of good things) happening in my life atm. Anyways, I got sent to the basement which sux and now the vote is super stressful!!! I'm pretty much pulling a lot of strings within the tribe atm and trying to balance it all! I have Zach and Jake in my pocket completely!! Jake and Alyssa are like on my coat tail and Jess/Stephen/and Ally are in their grave ready to be destroyed lmaoo. Fingers crossed I don't go home.

im vulnerable, and it's an hour til tribal. i'm unsure of what's going to happen. here's a quick recap:

A - i go to ally/stephen to encourage reconciling. i think this is genuinely smart as we are all 'big threats' and it's stupid to let middle players slide by while helping pin bigger threats against one another. they basically end up agreeing (more so stephen). B - alyssa and tim come to me (separately) saying that they are throwing my name around, and tim goes even further to say that they want to split between me / jake. this sounds really believable based on track record. C - ally pms me saying that she heard X told Jess who told her that i'm targeting stephen. i say it's true, but under the circumstances that people are saying they are going after me. D - we talk in the "alliance" chat and come to a conclusion that jake should be the vote as he best fits the "middle player" role, thus being dangerous. though i disagree, i'm in no position to bury karthik/tim in a hole. E - with karthik spearheading, i help flip the vote from stephen to jess. this is because jess will weaken that side, and i don't trust her. at all. on top of that, it helps me not worry as much abt alyssa being sketchy & it keeps my promise 2 stephen/ally in the sense of not voting stephen (and i can argue saying that with them lying at merge, i had to be reaaaalllllyyyy cautious). F - i'm unsure about my idol. it could still happen. right now i'm leaning towards playing my idol because i want it GONE. by using this idol, here are the outcomes: F.1 - the vote is 4-4 or even more slanted, and i idol successfully, meaning jess will leave this game. F.2 - i receive 0 votes and completely waste it. this makes me more vulnerable, but also, could help if i utilize it correctly/effectively. F.3 - I receive 3 votes (give or take) and it's ineffective but shows that i can't trust ally/stephen and by attachment, jess (who should be gone). i guess my preferred order would be F1 -> F3 -> F2 just because if i use it, i want it to be as effective as possible since wasting an idol isn't going to help my case at FTC (which is already weak LSDGKDSLGDSH).

my gut is really sick (as always bar f9.. so just f10). i don't THINK i'm getting any votes, but u can never be too sure. to elaborate on the entire point of 'F', i want to go over pros n cons of idolling (and wasting it). PROS: - no more paranoia for me (GOD BLESS) - i'm much more vulnerable, meaning they may not target me (double-sided) - im 100% safe regardless, and in f7. CONS: - im more vulnerable; easier to target. - ppl are shook bc i dont trust them/ didnt tell them - its wasted and doesnt help my FTC case.

and lastly, who has the idols? [based on tribe idols] CONFIRMED: me . (OG Takagi idol) LIKELY: alyssa (the only person who could have two) COULD POSSIBLY HAVE ONE: stephen (someone probs has attila, i think itd be him or alyssa). karthik (basement king, but def not tribal idol probs .) jake (og kato, could have the kato idol). NOT LIKELY: tim (og takagi/nu-kato. both idols were gone, so i doubt it. but, maybe basement??) jess (unless she worked w alissa n found attalia, it's no) DEFINITELY NOT: ally (was on OG Takagi (my idol) and takagi post-swap, so unless swap idol, N/A).

Jess is voted out 5-3. She becomes the fourth member of our jury.