#I would like to clarify that I am happily aromantic

[thepoetrytheorist]

You know sometimes people are like "no you can't be aromantic"

But like the universe literally goes after anyone who shows me romantic affection.

Everyone who has ever declared their affections for me has died or been hospitalised within a month.

Literally destined to be and stay aromantic.

[theminniedaily]

Journal Entry 002

Dear Friend, 

Aromantic.

A person who experiences little to no romantic attraction. 

As a child, I grew up watching telenovelas and disney princesses. The way the entertainment industry portrays ‘love’ was something I was always confused about. How at the very end, the prince was there to save the princess, they get married and live happily forever after. 

How at school, when my classmates would talk about who their crush was and why they liked them, I never was really interested in that. So whenever I would say that I didn't like anyone in my school, they wouldn't believe me, because everyone has someone they like. 

That got me thinking, me 10 years old at the time, then if everyone has a crush, why don't i have a crush?

Looking back at it now, if i would have ignored what my classmates would say to me, I guess i would have saved the pain of losing someone i really cared about.

In 6th grade, I met someone. They were shy and, in my eyes, kind of a dork. But, i really liked them, not in that way let me clarify. But, when you are surrounded by people who tell you that they like someone, i convinced myself that yes i did like them that way. 

My tiny “crush” turned into what people say was “puppy love” but in reality it was two broken kids yearning for someone to hold them and care for them. We both found that in each other. By that time, my parents and older sister were always out of the house, working, leaving me by myself at home. Them? In a household of divorced parents. In a few months, our friendship turned into an elementary school relationship. 

When middle school came, we both got close, but the title 'significant other’ was something I would usually forget about. I liked being around them, I liked laughing at their dumb jokes and listen to whatever they said. I just didn't like them that way. 

Then, that’s when my parents decided to pack up our things and leave for another country. Despite being against it, I followed. A long distance relationship was something I didn't know I was going to pursue, but I guess I did. 

That’s when I began my spiral of who I am and what I liked, how after years of ignoring it, I became aware of my lack of romantic attraction. I thought i was broken, again coming from a hispanic background, my parents wanted me to get married in the future.

So, you can imagine the amount of lectures I received every time I tried to hint to my parents that there’s a possibility I don't want to get married at all. While I still tried to figure that out, my “relationship” was going okay? I was confused, I didn't know what to do, but I noticed how they also changed a lot. How they were a bit distant and a bit quieter whenever we would video call with my best friend. I noticed yet I didn't do anything about it.

It was obvious that throughout the years, we both grew and matured in different ways, we both decided that it was best to remain friends and to be there for eachother. But slowly, they stopped talking to us. They just disappeared. To this day, I still don't know anything about them. At times, I wonder, would things have been different if I had done something? Would we still be friends if I asked if they were okay? 

I felt as a small part of me broke away, I felt lost and alone. I still had my best friend by my side but I felt as if something was missing from me. As I continued on with my life, I tried to look for what I had with them. After being aware of what I was feeling, I still pursued relationships with a few people but as you can guess, I couldn't give them what they gave me. Love. 

With them it was different, we still held that comfort we gave each other when we were kids. We both could talk about anything without judging each other, laugh about anything. We got used to each other.

Will I ever find someone like them? No. I finally realized that no matter how hard I look, I will never find someone like them. I finally accepted who I am and shook off the expectation that society has placed, where we need to get married. But heck, I'm so darn happy being single. 

I’m aromantic and part of the lgbtq community, and I couldn't ever be more proud of how I finally figured out who i am. 

And to the person who was there at my lowest, I hope you're doing okay, I hope you are happy and doing what you've told me what you wanted to do. I'm sorry if I hurt you in any way. I love and miss you everyday. 

Love always, 

Minnie~

[darkshrimpemotions]

Hello! I was looking through the stilinski family feels and i came across your post & i saw your profile. is it okay if i ask something? when you say you're bisexual & aromantic & polyamorous, is it correct if i conclude: you're someone who is sexually attracted to many genders, but not romantically, and you're in a relationship with multiple people but only for the sex? sorry if i offend you, im new to the terms ^^;

Hello! I confess I’m curious which post you came across that made you want to visit my blog, but I’m not offended by the questions.

The first part of your conclusion is spot on: I’m attracted to multiple genders (really any gender). Some would say that makes me pan, but I disagree because it’s not so much that gender isn’t a factor…it’s just not the only or most important one for me. But I do experience attraction to different genders in different ways, so bi is the label I feel describes me best.

When I say I’m aromantic, though, it doesn’t mean my relationships are only about sex.

A lot of people think romantic is the other half of a relationship, the only counterpart to sexual, but forget there’s another kind of attraction that’s possible: platonic.

So an aromantic person can still have deep and meaningful, even committed, relationship with someone that goes beyond being “just for sex.” That relationship just isn’t romantic in nature.

In my particular case, I consider myself aromantic because I have no clue what people mean when they talk about romantic attraction. I have people I like, admire, love, trust, support, enjoy spending time with, care deeply about, depend on, etc.

But for me, I don’t understand the difference between platonic and romantic. For me, the difference between a friend and a boy/girlfriend or datemate is just…do I wanna kiss/cuddle/hold hands with/possibly sleep with this person? If yes, attracted, 10/10 would date. If no, friend, 10/10 would hang out with.

I also don’t consider either of the relationships I just described as more or less valuable or significant than the other. I would be just as happy to live with a best friend that I never get sexual with for the rest of my life as anything else.

As for the polyamorous part, it really just means I experience and am open to pursuing more than one attraction/relationship at a time, or being in a relationship that involves more than just me and one other person. The main key for me is just that all parties must be aware of the situation and happily consenting to it.

I hope that answers your questions! Bear in mind, though, these answers may not apply to everyone who uses these labels. That’s the thing about labels: they can be helpful or limiting, clarifying or confusing, depending on how you use them.

I use them to explain myself to myself first and foremost, and to sort of summarize myself to others.