#I would have even understood choosing Crooked as well

[hideawayfairy]

You know, I knew there was gonna be a music video released based on one of the songs from Mammon's Musical Special.

I just thought they would have gone with "2 Minute Notice" so imagine my surprise that they gave it to "JUGGLING IZ COOL."

[ikkosu]

I would love something, anything with human reader (gn) SSAU, stuck between Prowl and Pharma <3 maybe they’re a mechanic? Or just a nurse? I love how you write the two dorks. They’re just sooooo 👀💚

BETWEEN A ROCK AND A WALL

a/n : ah!!!! my favorite person!!! it's been a while pookie jkjk I am excessively obsessed with them, as well LITERALY (I kid you not. It's about time I write an, ahem, threesome with them

"Have you tried reporting him for harrassment?"

Oh, you've have enough.

Your datapad hits the surface of your desk with a clink, not without letting out a growl of frustration that all the more tightened the coil of a headache, brewing in your temples.

Just a visit. It's just a visit. It's just a visit. He's just being himself he's just—

"You know what, Prowl? You're so damn petty sometimes."

You swivelled to face him, but the cop-bot perched in your chair, your chair, inspecting your work-cubicle, pretends to look away.

Like, he didn't just pester you the whole hour on ethics of trying to fire your own boss and slandering your note-taking skills.

(yellow? seriously? any other highlighter you can choose but you picked yellow? disgusting).

"You should know your adjectives, by now. I wouldn't call that petty. A term I'd prefer is being Strategic." He clipped. "But I'm sure, given how your emotions normally regulate your, whatever you have, is a brain — you wouldn't be able to comprehend such a notion."

He's made a habit of making everything sound so reasonable, it's baffling. You round your desk, stopping short in front of him. Prowl retaliates your scowl by leaning back against the chair. He tips his helm until it hits the headrest and his eyes, flaring blue, peered over the crook of his nose.

You know he's got that stupid bastardly smile underneath the facade.

"What do you want?" You huffed out.

"A simple, round the block, routine checkup. Nothing important. "

"Yeah? Yeah? You're, like, three fucking planets away from your station. I'm sure that's plausible."

Where's Max when you needed him most to beat his ass?

"Anything is possible if you think it to be so."

Oh, you're this close. This close. You look to your watch, groaning internally. Around three hours more you're due for an operation. And you're not even prepared yet! You're supposed to go through your notes on how to yank out a gut from it's slot, not having a verbal spar with Cybertron's number one asshole.

"Look, I don't know what beef you've got with the guy but I thought you're the enforcer here, mister goody two shoes. This is illegal."

He scoffs at that but doesn't seem to regard the last part, however. " It's your boss now, huh."

"Excuse me?"

"Last I heard he was the boss." The chair creaks as he shifts on the spot, looking incredibly out of place in that plush, black office wheeler. " What, did you pucker up your lips and appeased his ego to botch that spot?"

"What?" You sputtered. "Botch that spot? What are you— No, No!— He's my boss!— I— What do you want me to say?"

"That you're not his playtoy." He crosses his arms.

"I'm not!"

"Then, call him by his name." He grits his teeth. "Don't say 'my boss'. It sounds corny. It sounds stupid. You sound stupid." A digit juts your way and you scoff, holding yourself back from commiting first degree murder. " And, you know what's even better? Just don't talk to him. Ever. Not even a look or a smile. Is that understood?"

"Prowl, i—" You sighed, dragging a palm down your face. "Please, tell me you didn't come all the way here to Delphi —all the way here — just to tell me that."

The corner of his mouth tugged up a little. He looks away to hide it, though. "I'm paid to serve the law after all."

"Oh, yeah? You're paid to shut the fu—"

"My, my. That's not a pleasant way to address a man of law, now is there darling?" A low voice crooned behind you and you feel his servos curling over both sides of your waist, chassis against your back. Pharma rests his chin on your shoulder and a chesire grin is directed to the enforcer.

You don't dare to look behind you, but you're also not strong enough to lock eyes with Prowl who's got a death grip on the arm chair, teeth gritting, digits digging into the cushion. Eventually, he stands up to his full height, stepping close, you're almost sandwiched between the two like a smore.

"Doctor." He clips.

"Enforcer." Was Pharma's drawl. "Here to fetch your little pet?"

He bristles, door wings piking up at the term but doesn't regard it. "Here to take them far. How much for a forced unemployment?"

"Oh, nothing much. I usually do it for free, but this one..." Pharma leans close and you yelp when his chassis pushes you forward to press against Prowl's, you guessed it, chassis. "—Is an exception. You see, officer, I actually quite like having this one around. Keeps my arduous moments flourishing, my lonely nights — occupied."

Prowl lands a servo on your shoulder. "Yeah. Figured as much." He grits out.

"Oh, not really. It doesn't have to take much assuming." Pharma straightens up, a servo on the other side of your shoulder. "While, its all in good fun, we three all have a job to do, yes? Best you leave them to their devices now."

He was about to tow you away when Prowl's unrelenting death grip on your shoulder prevents you from moving. "I'd rather not."

"Is that so?" Poison spools out from that drawl.

"Your audials doesn't seem to be of optimum order. Mind If I smoothen out the creases?"

You winced, looking at your watch. Shit. Shit. Shit. Of all times Pharma had to come in, he takes the opportunity when Prowl is here?! You need to prepare yourself right now. That patient isn't going to pull out a gut themself, and they aren't sewing their lungs back, either. If you could just....wiggle from the rooks of their grip and slowly slide away to— Prowl clamps a servo on your waist. Pharma, clutching your shirt.

They hold you close.

Oh, forget it.

A wide, terse grin eases out on the jet's face. "Perhaps your t-cog would need a diagnosis as well. Oh, no, no not just your t-cog. Something else. As a doctor I would'nt want my patient limping for...." He whispered lowly. ".... undercompensation, given how you're strutting around...."

Prowl let's out a low growl in his throat. "Oh? How about we head out side and hunker down a nice 'smoothening out?"

"Don't try me, enforcer." Pharma's mood isn't much better but unlike Prowl he's got a good facade holding up. " You've got what's coming and it won't be pleasant. I suggest you step out now."

Then the bastardly smile curls the corner of his cheek. "Let's test out that theory, then."

Oh, dear.

[myriadparacosm]

Black Beats Black - snippet chapter 7: Ambrosia

“Thank you,” she says with a last look at their friends before her intense viridian eyes fall on him. “Remus, I understand that you don't want to talk about it but I would rather be honest with you. I don't want you to be mad.”

Remus frowns at her, slowly getting more and more worried. “What do you mean?”

“I know.”

“What?” His lips can't help but tick with a bit of humor. 

She brazenly holds his gaze with a grim seriousness but he can't properly make sense of it. Her last words were about Sirius, looking for details, and Regulus but Remus is sure she has understood his point. He won't come near their relationship even if it hurts– without even considering Sirius choosing one of them.

“Remus, I know.”

It takes him a blink to fully grasp on what she says. Lily stops at his side with a conflicted expression. She tries to make it seem less grave but Remus is still slowly crushed at what she means. There aren't many options that don't make him feel sick. Her insistence about Sirius, their fight and his brother freezes him with a vague nausea.

“You…”

Remus knows well enough that she is smart and they are close enough for her to know how to read him. It's still a slap to his face that she might have figured out his feelings for Sirius– why would she insist otherwise? He had believed that outside of the dorm his thoughts and feelings were perfectly hidden.

“It's not that obvious,” she softly says but her encouragement falls flat. “You know how to cover your back, but I might care too much about you to ignore all the hints.”

“Does anyone else know?” Remus croaks out, feeling faint and he hastily starts walking to the castle to feel somewhat in control.

Lily follows him and, despite the distance between them two and the others, keeps her voice down.

“James confirmed-”

“Bloody-”

“But I was already sure of it myself,” Lily insists. “It was by accident that we talked about it. Nothing more. But Remus, it changes nothing. Alright? Nothing.”

“Do we really need to talk about it?”

“No, not really but– I want you to know that I'm on your side, Remus. Always will be.”

She carefully grabs his arm before slipping hers into its crook when he doesn't move away. Remus still refuses to meet her eyes, staring at Sirius from afar who chats with his brand-new friends.

He can't believe that he has been obvious even now, after everything that happened - the pain that Sirius caused to him when Remus had been feverishly believing that he found his people. Someone who doesn't mind his horrible curse and all the complications he brings onto the table.

“It changes everything,” he mutters because while he isn't afraid of the repercussions of being queer, he is terrified at the idea that his feelings get out, especially at this point when they make little sense. “Do you think Sirius knows?”

Lily is frighteningly silent for a few seconds. “What do you mean? Of course, he knows.”

Remus freezes. She stares at him in confusion but still holds on to him with a soft care in her fingers. He thought it couldn't get worse.

“No, he– that's impossible.”

Sirius would have said something, definitely a bad thing, just to reassure Remus that they will stay good friends but never more because that would be too much. Perhaps he would completely ignore it, Remus would prefer that option but only if he stayed ignorant; how does Sirius look at him if he knows that Remus loves him?

“What are you talking about? I know he has been helping you all these years. Just like James and Peter.”

Remus hysterically jerks away. Lily stumbles a step but saves herself with an astonished look that melts in worries. He clears his throat, too fast and too roughly but he can't breathe and feels like he should crawl away in the Forbidden Forest right now.

“What are you talking about?”

She purses her lips and exhales. “I'm talking about your lycanthropy.”

He is completely daft– it's even worse. That Sirius knows, naturally, and Lily has pieced together. James dared to also confirm it to her and now Remus’ shameful secret, one of but it is easily the worst he realises now, is out to one of the few people he wants to keep in his life.

[siriuslychessi]

Day 05 - Rings

AO3 || FF

Marlene tried to cover the dark spots below her eyes with makeup, she did her best, but she had spent so many days working at Mungo's and the missions that they were harder to cover than other times. 

Sirius watched her, like many other times, before dates or important outings, telling her she should hurry, or that she looked fine without all the need for all the makeup, they were just going for a drink with friends at a random pub, no need to put all that effort. However, that always fell on deaf ears, as she said she would be ready when she was, and they could leave them. 

There were so many times where that scene reproduced itself, where they would bicker for one thing or the other, and she would complain that he had it easy, he just had to dress and he was done; while women had to work harder to look that good. 

And the answer was always the same: you look gorgeous, even without the makeup. Yet, Sirius understood the make up was not for him, or the others, it was something that made Marlene feel more confident in certain scenarios. 

Marlene looked at Sirius through the mirror, he was staring from the door of their shared bathroom, and she smirked; “Are you here to tell me to hurry up?” she teased as she continued to try to cover the rings under her eyes. 

Sirius rolled his eyes, with a matching smirk, “Would it even matter if I did?” he knew it wouldn’t, he just continued to watch, worried more at how tired she looked, and pretended to not be, than the time.

“Most days, no.” she admitted, finally happy with the result and putting some mascara on. “However, today is not about me.” she smiled, her mouth moving as she put on the lipstick, “Today is about James and Lily, and I think my gift to them would be to arrive on time.” she joked. Her hands undoing the rollers to let the curls let loose.

“I’m sure they’ll be a bit late as well. It seems they started the honeymoon stage as soon as James put that ring on her finger.” Sirius teased.

Marlene laughed, and a bit of the worry on Sirius’ mind loosened. “They’ll be giving us niblings soon enough if they keep at it. They are giving us a run for our money.” she turned to him, moving closer. Her hands fixing the almost imperceptibly crooked tie. 

“We’ll have to get back at it during the reception, see if we catch up again.” he chuckled, looking at her gorgeous blue eyes, thinking there was a strong chance that they would actually end up doing that. 

Marlene rolled her eyes and moved to the bedroom, where her dress lay on the bed. A shade of blue that complemented her eyes, Lily was always mindful of others when choosing dresses for her bridesmaids. Careful to not wring it she put it on. Sirius was quick on his feet and was helping it zipping it up. 

“Maybe, if you are on your best behaviour. Or maybe I’ll hook up with one of the other groomsmen.” she teased, as Peter and Remus would never dare, and neither would her. 

“Someone should take that stick out of Lupin’s arse, so maybe I’ll reconsider.” he joked, finishing with a peck on her lips. 

“I never knew you fancy him like that, I’ll make sure to leave you two alone.”

They both laughed. She grabbed her purse. 

“Got the rings?” She asked as she grabbed her wand to apparate. 

“Right here.” Sirius patted his left pocket. 

Marlene put her hand around his arm, “Who do you think will cry first? Mrs Potter or Mrs Evans?”

“My money is on James, as soon as she sees Lily down the aisle.”

[jeizllz]

No past lovers could ever compare to you

Pairing :vampire!Kyle “Gaz” Garrick x reader

note : This is the first time i ever post sometthing i write so i lack experience but if you have tips for me to get better, I would appreciate it! Also, english isn’t my first language so bear with me pls :)

warnings : none i guess?

words count : 442

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He had touched many things, smelled many things and above all, seen many things. But nothing ever made him feel the way you did.

The first time he smelled you, he thought the god above finally decided to put an end to his dull and miserable existence, and gave him permission to experience a glimpse of heaven. No human, no animal or plant could ever smell this good, he was convinced of it.

He only realized he was living no fantasy when he was able to locate the source of the smell.

Then he saw you. If he was breathing, he’s sure he would’ve stopped by now. In all his years of living, he had the chance to witness a lot of beautiful women. But would it even be fair to try and compare them to you when he knew, there was no way they could ever live up to you ?

No beings ever had such an impact on him in the past, and he was sure none would in his future  either. And at this moment, he knew. He understood that you were the one he had been waiting for, all these years. He no longer felt like something was missing. He felt content for the first time in a very long time.

« - Is this really how it went ? Love at first sight ?

- Of course, why would I ever lie to you love ? You already had me wrapped around your finger at the time, but i only fell harder when i got to know you.

His words made your stomach twist with pleasure. He knew how to make  you flustered like it was still day one.

« - I don’t know. It just feels too good to be true, you know ?

- I know yeah, I tell myself the same thing everyday. What kind of God would send  his most beautiful angel to someone like me ?

- don’t say things like this about yourself. You didn’t choose this life. »

he didn’t answer and instead just nuzzled his head in the crook of your neck. Your smile faltered.

« - Don’t do this Kyle.

- Do what ?

- Try to push me away.

- I’m not –

- I know what you’re capable of, I’m well aware. But i also know you’d never try to hurt me. »

He sighted before answering.

« You’re just proving my point, you’re too good for me love. »

his response brought your lips up once again :

« - I love you Kyle.

- I am deeply in love with you too y/n »

[exvangelicalrage]

What Is Crooked Cannot Be Straightened

5/29/23

When I started going to therapy for religious trauma, my therapist directed me to Abraham Piper, a rather famous exvangelical and son of John Piper, a famous evangelical fundamentalist. Abraham Piper's TikTok account was interesting, philosophical, and entertaining all at the same time, and many of his ideas hit home with me, as someone who was floundering with the idea of religious trauma, despite it having been nearly 8 years after my Exit. 

One of the tags he used was #abusurdism which I'd never heard of before, and being a curious type of person, I googled it. 

"What is absurdism?"

Of course, as you might expect, I found dozens of articles and reddit threads discussing Albert Camus, existentialism, and meaninglessness.

I was hooked. 

Meaninglessness had been an appealing concept to me since the first time I read Ecclesiastes, the only book of the bible I ever really liked. 

Even now, if you asked me what my favorite book of the bible was, I'd still say Ecclesiastes. When I was young, my reason was that it was beautiful poetry written by a clearly intelligent person who understood the futility of life, and which ended by directing you to trust god. 

Now my reason is because Ecclesiastes breaks christianity. It's like a computer virus. As soon as you run ecclesiastes.exe, blue screen.

In Ecclesiastes, the writer concludes that everything is meaningless, therefore, your best bet is to fear god and follow his commandments (cough *philosophical suicide* cough). The ending offers an easy "skip" button. 

"Fear god!" christian you might think. "Great, that's all I need to know. I was gonna do that anyway."

This answer is good enough until you read that verse in Romans about how you're supposed to study the scriptures. And then you do study them.

As soon as you really begin to look deeply into Ecclesiastes, one key thing leaps out: if everything is meaningless... so is following god and his commandments. That solution the Teacher offers? Just as meaningless as any other solution.

All of christianity centers around one foundational element: the meaning of everything is god.

But if there is no meaning to everything, if god is not the meaning after all... what does that mean for the entirety of the christian religion? 

If you take Ecclesiastes literally, then making the choice to "obey god" is just as meaningless as making a different choice. Even if you choose to "follow god," the method for doing so is meaningless. You could choose to follow the old testament god or the new testament god, you could follow Thor or Allah, you could rename the universe "god" and call it a day—and you get to make up your own "rules" about what following god looks like, and at least philosophically speaking, you're good to go.

Most christians would argue that therefore you must follow the christian scripture, because obviously the bible doesn't contradict itself, because it says so. heh

But this doesn't work. Literally no one follows the scriptures literally. Not even literalists. Because it's impossible. Because the bible doesn't agree with itself about anything.

And even if you find ways to look past all the other contradictions, Ecclesiastes undermines everything else. It puts questions where They don't want questions. It adds flexibility where They don't want flexibility. It adds meaninglessness where They want meaning.

And They can't get rid of Ecclesiastes. Because if They do that, then they're picking and choosing what scripture to follow. And if you can cut and paste Ecclesiastes, then it follows you can cut and paste the rest of the bible, in which case you might as well just throw the whole thing in the trash and start over. 

As far as I can tell, the "best" argument against my interpretation of Ecclesiastes is "no, you're misinterpreting it" which... isn't an argument. The very fact that Ecclesiastes demands interpretation in order to "fit" with the rest of christianity, means that I can interpret it however the hell I want.

And I choose to interpret it as an exploration of the meaninglessness of everything that ultimately undermines the whole of christianity.

When faced with ultimate meaninglessness, some people choose to avail themselves of the pleasures of life. Some people choose to work. Some people choose to find meaning in the mundane. Some people create their own meaning. Some people (like Solomon) choose to follow god and obey the king. And some people simply... accept meaninglessness.

And this is the heart of absurdism: choosing to accept meaninglessness as a fact of life, rather than fighting against it, trying to fix it, or trying to solve it.

Everything is meaningless. Utterly meaningless.

Including Ecclesiastes.

Everything is meaningless and that’s okay. Not only is it okay, it's good. Because acceptance often brings peace, freedom, and joy where there was only cognitive dissonance before.

[frostcorpsclub]

New story as of 8/14/2024

Turning into a bat was something any vampire could do before they even left preschool age.

It was as though there was no difference between each physical form, whether it was her long black hair or the small fuzzy bristles of her bat body going back and forth in the wind. Yet being in Justin’s arms is what Mercy would choose every time. 

He was strong and broad and he never got tired, he would happily carry her around wherever he went for the rest of eternity. He clutched her to his chest like she was precious treasure, the rolling of his bottom snowball speeding them both across the forest floor much faster than she could ever fly. 

Or well…that’s what she told him. 

In this position she could rest her head into the crook between his head and chest and it wouldn’t seem like she was sniffing him. He could just ignore the twitching pink nose tickling under his chin.

There was an unspoken fear between them both about straying too far from home. Being a bat and a cloud of mist meant they could go anywhere in the world with each other yet here they were in the cold damp clearing once more. It was half way between each of their houses and surrounded by trees. 

Each being stark white they stuck out like sore thumbs but no one had come out to bother them just yet. 

Justin's sisters had pulled Mercy aside once or twice and told her how he treated other girls but she didn't particularly care.

It was very normal in vampire culture to have flings your whole immortal life, it was separate from finding the one undead creature of the night you wanted to call your husband or wife.

When they finally arrived he gently laid her down on the grass. A smile formed on Mercy’s heart shaped lips as the wet grass and dirt soaked in to the back of her dress. Something about this incredibly uncomfortable state stimulated the parts of her brain that understood she was a living corpse. Her mind wandered to the feeling of being buried. Enveloped in a pine box, upholstered with the finest cushioning. 

Most importantly, a matching one for her boyfriend buried mere inches away. 

As she laid there with her eyes closed Justin watched. She was such a delicate porcelain doll to him. Justin felt as though any moment he could startle her and she'd scamper off. Perfect and eternal yet bloated and fleeting. 

He leaned down and pressed the thin crevice that housed his fangs to Mercy's lips. 

He had kissed so many girls before but kissing Mercy made him want to collapse on top of her. She was a creature of dreams and restful sleep. The warmth emanating from her presence making him want to burrow under her skin. 

Just as Justin started to get a little frisky, snaking his tongue between her lips, Mercy pushed up on on his chest. With a burst of vampiric strength she lifted Justin off the ground and slammed him onto his back. 

If Justin had eyes they would be wide open, Mercy even shocked herself. 

"You didn't bring me any of the liver and blood sausage your mom made for dinner. You can…what's that thing you say, kick rocks?"

She bit her lip as she said this, barely able to appear capable of being sardonic through the whole sentence. 

Justin sort of just stared at her for a second, as he often did, she was breathtaking. Her face was breathtaking, not because she slammed him full force into the ground, either way it was payback. It was so incredibly amusing the way she continually tried but failed to have an edge. 

Mercy let out a deep content sigh. The wet grass beneath her began to feel warm as she wormed her way in to his arms. The winter sky was a deep royal blue mottled with stars that Mercy often dreamed she could touch. 

If she could fly high enough.

“This is why I love bringing you out here.”

Mercy’s ears wiggled as she turned to look at Justin, who was admiring her as she admired the sky. 

“You see how clear the sky is here? No fog, no light pollution. Just constellations!”

“Light pollution?” she inquired. 

“Well er-” 

Justin cleared his throat, realizing how nerdy he was about to come off. 

“-it’s just some thing Joy told me about you know. She’s always going on about all the way humans fuck shit up. You probably don’t know how it is. I know you don’t get out much. You don’t want to hear about it.” 

“Go on I-“ 

She didn’t have to tell him twice. He could be so rude. 

“They won’t stop making shit they don’t need and they shoot it right up into the sky. It confuses the fuck out of animals too. Most of this shit doesn’t need to be on Mercy.” 

She had to shift around on the grass as his arms swung vigorously with his words, seconds away from thwacking her forehead if he wasn’t careful. She didn’t quite understand why Justin felt so strongly about the subject but he had a way of making her care about it too. Now that she thought about it, all the bright lights made it frustrating to fly out and feed, some places were so bright it was difficult to tell when it was really night. 

“Why don’t they just stay the fuck home where they belong?!” He shot up, making intense eye contact down at her for a moment before feeling a lump grow in his throat. 

“Like I said, it’s stuff Joy talks to me about it.” 

The tension melted from Mercy’s shoulders. 

They never set out to have these conversations. She had lived much longer than he had but she found just as much learning in him. In the grand scheme of things they were both very young and had so much more to learn and discover. 

About each other and themselves. 

Did he truly believe that she would think less of him? 

What a strange concept. He was so smart, and these moments of compassion, of softness, it made her feel special. To be one of the privileged few who saw this side of him. 

The silence was so long he was starting to get worried he was losing her, but just on track she stroked his arm and urged him to lay back down.

“Someone who cares about things like that must have such a soft heart, but a tough one too.” 

“Oh yeah, Joy is a real softie.” He scoffed. 

“Or someone else.” Mercy jabbed. 

Justin did not respond to her. 

"All these centuries I spent watching out of windows, every time something good would come along they would take it with them. So many things I wished I could touch. Do you ever feel that way?" 

Mercy had a level of experience with the environmental woes Justin pretended not to care about, though really it didn’t concern her much. She was happy to listen and would be a place for Justin to share his woes. 

But it was really about them. The humans. 

The nature of the Frost parents as former humans was something the couple didn’t really talk about, Mercy didn’t care. 

The here and now was what mattered. 

She wasn’t one to seek out power. Her ivory tower was only a prison because she could not choose what happened within it. There was no warmth and love. 

Humans with their pitchforks and crosses only drove her, and her people, further into the shadows. 

“Sure mice don’t want to be eaten by cats but there’s a reason the cat has claws and the mice live in the walls! If you’re clever you make do and if you’re not you’re cat food. It’s simple.” 

This statement was one that Justin agreed with but one that caught him off guard. It sounded like something his mother would say. 

He knew Mercy was different but it was comforting to know there were some ways in which she wasn’t. 

“You would know, you’re the nature expert, right?” 

Mercy grinned at him, the moonlight shining behind her head like a halo. 

Justin’s mind wandered for a moment. He imagined Mercy as Rapunzel, gazing out of her ivory tower, long raven hair growing and changing along with her sage gowns as the eras went by, just outside her window. 

He thought back to the things Mercy had told him about her home, the little he had seen himself. 

"I think we all feel that way sometimes. You know my dad’s been all around the world, so has my brother. I’d say I’ve been more places than most of my siblings-“

He said this bit with a frog in throat, hoping Mercy wouldn’t pry into his strumpet past. 

“-but you know, sometimes I imagine what it’s like in the places I can’t go. People notice the wind, they’re always blaming things on it.” 

Mercy grinned at his joke, hiding her mouth behind her hand. Gd, he wanted to kiss her. 

He understood that her feelings on the matter were a bit more concerned with existence. That he was as shallow as the puddles she turned him into.

Yet she gave him the same credence he gave her. 

“But, think about it like this! Your books, your tapestries, even the paintings your parents have of the old country. You don’t hate those, right?” 

"No I don't." 

Mercy even shocked herself with how quickly she answered the question. 

As he went on to speak it felt as though the rest of the world fell away. Her back was no longer wet, the wind against her skin was no longer cold and whistling through the trees. She heard only his voice in deathly silence. He could truly convince her of anything. 

She did miss the old country but her memories of it were mostly ones of fear. Time seemed to fly when the humans found ways to retaliate. Turning into a bat and flying away wouldn’t save a young vampire any more. A level playing field is oppression to the privileged. 

"Then you get what I mean, seeing places that are all perfect and shit. As far as you know. If you want you could weave a place that doesn’t exist, can’t take that from you can they?” 

Justin reached over and gently stroked her arm, he was concerned that him getting all riled up was giving her a bit of an existential crisis. 

“Just for the two of us?”

She asked, as though he could really make it so. If he could he would, in a heart beat. Neither considered anything about the context of the world they lived in, only the happiness of the other. 

Suddenly, Justin went from stroking to vigorously patting and pointing up into the sky. 

“Look, look!” He swept Mercy up in one arm and pulled her close to him. 

“What, what?” She smiled, straining against him. 

His claw started at one star then traced a long wiggly line to the next and the next until it reached the end, Mercy falling totally silent and still, unsure what she was meant to be seeing. 

Justin sucked his teeth. 

“That’s Eridanus! It’s a constellation babe, like I told you.” 

“Are you serious?”

Mercy bit her lip tightly, a sound similar to air being let from the lip of a balloon leaking out. She shrunk into the ground upon seeing Justin’s face, in brief, he looked pissed. 

“I just mean-” 

Her lips bursted open with a chortle as she waved her hands up in the air.

“-I know what a constellation is but that’s just made up! Half of those stars don’t even live in the same neighborhood, it’s ridiculous.” 

Justin only crossed his arms and shrugged. He had never really thought of it that way. This was one of his favorites because it was so big and majestic. But if Mercy thought it was stupid then he supposed that it was. She wouldn’t want to be with someone so childish as to get upset about that kind of thing, yet he struggled to get out of the shallow funk this placed him in. 

“Baby…” 

Mercy said, immediately being filled with guilt. 

“Could you look at me please?”

Justin did as she asked, raising his brows and feigning an aloof expression before rolling back onto his back. 

“Justin, come on. You know that them being all made up isn’t a bad thing right? Didn’t you just say-” 

Her explanation was cut short by a searing pain in her stomach, the familiar feeling of a gown being laced much too tight. She felt like a crushed water bottle, her stomach acid squeezing up and tickling her throat. 

“Mercy? Princess?” 

Justin noticed that she didn’t finish her sentence, something unheard of for her. He turned onto his side and turned her towards him. 

“I’m sorry I just, oh G-d I think I’m going to be sick.” 

Justin instinctually rubbed her stomach. If she was going to get sick then nothing else mattered, except maybe making sure she didn’t throw up on him. 

“How long have you been sick, why didn’t you say anything? Shit, I didn’t even know vampires could get sick.” 

“I’m sorry.” “Don’t apologize.” 

“It’s only been a few days, that’s why I thought it wasn’t worth mentioning. I’m nauseous all the time and when I tell my mother she just pushes me off. I feel like there’s nothing I can do but….wait.”

Justin looked around for a moment before letting out a deep sigh, he knew she was right. He went up to rub her shoulder but accidentally grazed her breast. 

She hissed in response to the sharp ache it caused. 

“Okay okay!” He laid one hand on his side and held the other in front of her face for her to see.

“There’s that too. I’m sore all over.” 

“I know I know, you’ve got the bat flu or some shit. I can’t get it, so here, look at me. I’m gonna slip my hand under your stomach like this. That’s comfortable right?” Mercy nodded with quivering lips. The times Justin took charge and made everything better were chilling. 

“I won’t get too close, you just stay there sweet thing. Now I uh, I’m sorry too. You were trying to say something before.” 

He reached out and cupped the side of her face, his thumb applied gentle pressure as it stroked her batlike ear. Mercy inhaled deeply, her eyes fluttering halfway shut. 

The symptoms would come and go in waves. Every time they came it would exhaust her. 

“I was saying that since they’re all, you know, made up. We could-” She let out a yawn that made Justin want to swaddle her up like a baby. 

“-we could come up with our own. Like you said I could do. Like humans do. There was one right next to the one you pointed out that looked like your big fat head.” 

“Bitch!” 

Justin teased, giving her the weakest push physically possible with his free hand. It was almost pitiful. The way her words wheezed out in to the air, hung there, and crumbled. 

The least he could do was give her the satisfaction of a reaction. 

“You know for a vampire, you’re not too great at this romance business, besides I like the ones that are already there. Like Gemini.”

“Oh here we go!” Mercy rolled her eyes.

“What now? I’m sorry, did you want to rename a constellation? Why don’t we name one after your ass, then we won’t have to worry about how far apart the stars are!” 

“I meant you bringing up astrology, again. I’m quite fond of it too but you sound like an old traveler sometimes.” 

Justin couldn’t help but beam at her, Mercy wasn’t really a clever sassy girl who was quick with the comebacks, but she loved doing anything he did. 

“Maybe we should leave you out here til the sun comes up, you’ll feel better.” 

“Only if I could cover up with your um…your pisces bedsheets!”

“Aquarius.” 

[annaofthenorthernlights]

May I have this dance

@fluffbruary 2023 monthly edition

for @true--north

March 14, prompt: dance

Frozen canon diverted au, pairing Agnar/Iduna

Rating G, words 937

Find the prompt fic on AO3 or below the cut

Arendelle, 1818

It was his 18th birthday, and Agnar detested the fuss that the council made about it. He understood the formality since it was a special day.

Agnar sat at his desk and studied the list of guests that had been conjured up by the Lords of parliament on his behalf. He would have wished to have at least a little to say in it. After all, it was his birthday…

Kai sat across from him and cleared his throat discreetly. "Anything that his highness wishes to be changed?" The good old Stewart sensed the growing annoyance as the young prince scanned the list with an increasing frown. Only then, his eyes widened, and a broad smile appeared on his lips. He looked up and crooked his head, pointing to the last name on the list.

"Was this your idea?"

"I… well… I thought it only appropriate. Lady Iduna is a high respected guest in the house, and I figured that it might please you to have her being present. After all, … it is your birthday, and has she not been a good friend those past months to you." Kai shrugged and a knowing discreet smile underlined his good intention.

"Thank you." Agnar nodded and lowered his eyes, viewing that last name on the list. He didn´t care about all the other lady guests listed, no matter their ranks and titles. "You figured very wisely, and I can´t thank you enough."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She was by far the most beautiful girl in the room.

Agnar was fully aware what was expected of him due to royal decrees and protocol. Namely to engage with all those guests who have come from near and far to celebrate with him. The most important moment, yet to come.

He could either go along and follow the strict tradition or dare breaking it. He had considered worst case scenario. A straight forward telling off from the council which could eventually lead to a revolt against his family line. But then, for some reason he did not care. Yes, he intended to swear his oath to protect Arendelle and lead it into prosperous future. Still, he could by no means think to do so with anyone by his side who he was forced to marry just because law wanted it so. There must be a way to unship this dreadful order.

All he could do was breath deep, stick to his conviction and claim his right as a sovereign to choose for himself.

And when the master of ceremony declared the dancing to be opened, Agnar squared his shoulders, scanned to room to set out for his one and only partner to lead onto the dance floor for this very first dance.

The first dance… it was something like a proclamation, a marriage proposal if you want. Nobody said it, all thought it. And that´s just what he wanted. They should know that there was only one…

Iduna lowered her eyes. She had not expected this to happen. The young prince making his way straight up to her. She was standing by the open window, taking refuge behind the crowd and inhaling the fresh breeze swirling in and out and playing with the hair in her neck.

Gale had been her dearest friend throughout the evening, coming and going and all the while giving her a sense of loveliness by playing with her hair and skin. She had talked to other guests, and had watched Agnar converse with dignitaries and Lords, all the while glancing in her direction. She had sensed his tension, the burden of duty that laid upon his shoulders for doing so.

And now, the cluster of guests in front of her parted ceremoniously, with skirts swooshing across the floor and feet making way for his highness, who stepped closer with his eyes fixed on her. Iduna made out some irritated murmurs, some faces glancing in her direction hidden behind hands. But her consciousness was on him alone, as he stood before her, holding out his hand and asking that one question they had laughed about when they had gotten dance lessons those past weeks.

“May I have this dance, my Lady.”

Her face lit up, albeit she had sworn not to act foolish, and her complete body burned with a strange excitement while her belly flipped in a most curious manner. She could not remember how she did it, but her hand wandered into his all by its own and the touch of his strong fingers encircling hers was accompanied by Gale softly curling around her neck one last time, whisperingly.

“Go with him!”

Of course, the Lords stared dumbfounded, and the young Ladies and princesses glared with squeezed eyes, trying to figure out what that was all about. That girl, a commoner, albeit the prince said that she was a true princess, daughter of an ancient royal dynasty, from the North. She looked so simple in her plain dark green dress, yet there was something about her. Nobody could deny yet understand it.

They were in love.

“I think they are not pleased with your choice of opening dance partner.” Iduna whispered while they swirled across the dance floor, watched by the guests.

“What makes you think so?” Agnar smiled, well-knowing but wanting to confirm her just as well. He squeezed her fingers encouragingly, waiting for her hesitant answer.

“Am I not stealing his highness away from them?”

“No, min kjære, you don´t.” Agnar lifted her fingers to his lips and pecked a soft kiss to her slender knuckles.

“You cannot steal what belongs to you already!”

[sunshine-singer]

Shadow & Bone Season 2 Rant/Review

Disclaimer: Not my first post on here being a rant, but here we go... I’ve only seen the first two seasons and only read Six of Crows, so forgive me if I don’t understand certain plot points... Also, these are my own opinions, so please be kind, and I’m sorry if I remembered some things wrong - so much happened this season! Spoilers ahead for the show and very slight ones for Six of Crows duology, so read at your own risk* 

So much has happened this season that I’ve had to get my Netflix up to remind myself what’s happened... anyways here we go:

Did I think the season was all bad? No. Will I still be watching season 2 again like I did with the first one? Yes. The acting was great, costumes were amazing, and I generally did enjoy the season. No issues with the actors at all - thought the portrayals were fantastic! Defo a big upgrade to last season! However, there were a few things I didn’t like:

So we start off with The Crows getting back to Ketterdam and Mal and Alina on the run. Was a great start, but the plots between the two started off feeling very disjointed, which I felt wasn’t an issue in the previous season. I also thought that they’d delve way more into Six of Crows and I’m a little disappointed that so much of The Crows’ storyline was Crooked Kingdom based... as I hadn’t got round to reading it yet. That’s fully on me though, as I made the decision to watch the second season without reading it first. However, I’m still confused plot wise about The Crows as it’s so different to the first book already - especially regarding Matthias and Nina. I just had a hard time wrapping my head around it, but maybe that is because I haven’t read Crooked Kingdom yet. I do feel like the fast pace ruined a lot of the build up for the relationships between all The Crows for me, and yet somehow Nina and Matthias didn’t move fast enough? Idk. 

While I do think the conversations towards the middle of the season regarding both Alina’s and Genya’s respective traumas were well handled, I can’t help but feel really disappointed by their storylines: 

Genya suffers under both the King and Kirigan, and then David comes into the picture and becomes her support. Then we see David sacrifice himself for Genya (or its heavily implied), and then we don’t come back to them for ages. No one even asks after her or asks where she is, and we don’t see her again until Adrik finds her. It just seems so unfulfilling to me that she doesn’t get a happy ending. I get it, it’s wartime, the stakes are real and not everyone is going to get one. It just seems so disappointing to me that Genya is characterised by so much trauma like that (like most the characters are to be fair, so this might be harsh) and then she has a bitter end to her story this season. Just very unsatisfying. Daisy Head is such a great actress though, and she did such a great job.

Alina’s conversation with Baghra about her time with Kirigan was a great watch. I did feel that her character was just sort of meh this season, but I’m not as into the Shadow and Bone plot as much as I am into The Crows, so maybe that plays a part in it. I felt that that particular scene was the only time I really connected with her character this season, but again, her storyline so far just seems so unsatisfying to me. She goes from not wanting to be the Sun Summoner; to then being manipulated by Kirigan; to then suffering from the after effects of his lies and deceit; to then having to kill Mal who is the man she loves; to bring him back and have him reject what they have (which I fully understood from his POV, just sucked for her); and then has seemingly corrupted herself with Merzost ... so resulting in her becoming the next ‘monster’ the Darkling said she would be? From the looks of it anyways. Again, not everyone is going to get a happy ending but it just feels so unfulfilling. I’m also a bit tired of the trope that entails the female hero choosing a guy over the greater good or corrupting themselves in the process. Again, understand why she did it, it’s just something I don’t enjoy.

Again, the Shadow and Bone plot is less interesting to me anyway, but I was so tired of Kirigan by the end. Very glad he died. I’m not sure if it was the actual character or his dialogue just sort of being cringe to me, but I just did not vibe with his character for the majority of the season. This was especially apparent to me in the last scene we got with him after the fold was destroyed. Again, props to the acting as Ben Barnes is great but the character just ended up not being for me.

I was looking forward to seeing Zoya again and was happy to see her this season. I do wish that she had properly apologised to Alina for how she behaved last season, I think I would’ve appreciated her more if they had a real heart to heart. Their conversation when they reunited was good but I still felt it was a bit lacking.

I’ve probably missed some things but this is already a long rant so thank you for sticking to the end! I might do a review for each episode as I watch the season again. Like I said before, still enjoyed it and all the new characters that came along this season were really likeable. So overall I’d still give the season a 7/10.

[zyonsay]

Hi can you write Oscar Piastri x male reader where the male reader has very bad mental health and starts a mental health journal were he writes in it every day

You keep me grounded OP81

Fem aligned people may read but not f3tishize my work!!

Summary: You aren't feeling well and Oscar wants to talk about it

Reader: Male

Warnings: Mental unwellness

Now playing: My teacher yapping about IT

AN: This is short and rushed, but i hope you still enjoy. Please take care of yourself anon <3

Oscar had noticed that something wasn’t right. It’s not like you didn’t function in your daily life anymore, but you got quieter. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he noticed you starting to write in a small book of sorts.

Whenever he’d catch you writing something in it, you’d immediately hide it under your pillow or put another book over it. Oscar wasn’t careless enough to just search for it and read through it, he understood that would break your trust and invade your privacy.

But he couldn’t take it any longer. Oscar wanted to know what was wrong. He couldn’t stand his boyfriend not feeling well.

You were sitting on the couch in the living room, huddled in a blanket and scrolling through Instagram, when your partner suddenly appeared behind you, leaning down to hug you. This startled you at first, but then you smiled slightly, holding his arms that were wrapped around you.

“Can we talk?”, he said in a rather sad tone, making you wonder what had upset him. You nodded, patting the space next to you on the couch. He sat down and took one of your hands in his.

One look into his warm, brown eyes was enough for tears to start running down your cheeks. His expression looked pained, and he got a bit closer to you.

“I know that something isn’t right baby. Please talk to me. I want to help you.”, Oscar was absently rubbing patterns on your hand, giving it a light squeeze as he looks back into your eyes.

You were struggling to put your feelings into words. Daily life was getting more and more exhausting, and you felt all alone in this mess. Burdening Oscar with your troubles wasn’t really something you wanted to do, but dealing with it alone also didn’t work well.

This was the reason why you started a journal. It was easy and practical, you could vomit your thoughts out onto the paper and then decorate it with pretty flowers, as if you weren’t ugly crying just a few minutes ago. You knew that you should get professional help but organizing everything seemed awfully difficult.

You struggled keeping up the eye contact, so you avoided Oscars soft gaze. 

“I... I feel like shit.” The end of your sentence was swallowed by a big sob, and you started crying again. Oscar slung his arms around you and pulled you into him, holding you close. He calmly stroked your hair, whispering sweet little words.

“I feel so lonely. I don’t want to feel that way. “, you swallowed hard and hid your face in the crook of your boyfriend’s neck.

Oscar hugged you even tighter. “You don’t have to feel that way.”, he tipped your chin up so he can pamper your face with feather light kisses. “We’ll work through it together, I’m here for you.”

He got up from the couch. “Choose a movie you like sweetheart. I’ll go get some snacks,” he smiled warmly at you, before making his way towards the kitchen.

You scrolled through your streaming service and found your favorite movie: Ratatouille.

Oscar and You are now cuddled up with a bowl of popcorn between your legs and various packs of sweets lying all over the couch and the coffee table while Remy, the rat, was cooking a soup on screen.

[voidtouched-blue]

❰❰ BED ❱❱ our muses share a bed

Kaleh'a!

"This...is not what I had in mind...", Cyra's face and ears had been flushed a bright red.

Of course traveling with another would come with a few obstacles, but it was to her genuine surprise that the innkeeper had assumed they would be in the same room. Normally, she wouldn't have minded this. As long as there were separate beds, Cyra was not opposed to sharing.

"Hells take me.", she pinched the bridge of her nose as she leaned her staff in the crook of her arm. "And this is the last room they have available..."

She swore that the Twelve had been toying with her. Why else would they be putting her into these rather interesting situations? Though, Kaleh'a seemed to not mind the cozy nature of this predicament one bit. A true Moon Keeper through and through. He understood her aversion to others in her personal space, and despite the obvious size of the bed, assured her that he would not dare encroach on that space if he could help it.

His words were appreciated, but action would speak at a far higher volume than breathed promises.

She watched while he made himself comfortable in the room. Still standing by the door, she let out another heavy sigh as she rested her staff up against the wall. She placed her bags down, even unloaded the various pouches from her belt to ease the general discomfort that oozed out into the room from her person. It was clear that it was affecting him, even if it was unintentional. She offered him a silent smile to ease his worries.

I could very well just...sleep on the floor, she thought. It wouldn't have been the first time she spent a night curled up on the floorboards. Wood had been far more comfortable than the poured stone and metal she had been used to. It wouldn't have been an unwelcomed experience, to say the least. Even though her words had not been more than just thoughts, she could already feel the sad look of his realization that she would choose to sleep on the floor.

So she settled for 'building' a wall of pillows and sheets between them.

"What?", she furrowed her brow at his expression. "Did you think that I wouldn't have some sort of barrier erected for my comforts? I don't often find myself in the company of others, let alone long enough to share a bed. You can keep the blankets, I won't need them."

She sighed as she selected the side farthest from the door. Cyra curled up on her side, tucking herself into a small ball on the bed as she tugged her hood over her head to block the lingering light from her eyes.

When she felt the straw mattress shift beside her, it was instinct that made her snap up to see if he had moved her padded fortress. Instead, he had simply sat on the bed and shifted to prepare himself for his own slumber. She eyed him carefully, observing how he held his hands up in defense that he hadn't touched a single thing. It was only when she laid back down that she felt him shift again.

The respect of her needs brought a tired smile to her features before they both drifted off into their own sleep.

[xfindingtrouble]

❝  on some level I think I always understood, that these hands of mine were clumsy not clever. ❞ //pikey @ percy :)

He leans back into his chair, cradling his drink in between gloved hands. The night had gone by too quickly, full of jokes & good company. As the night passed before them, the tavern they had inhabited was beginning to empty. The corner table they had nestled in was feeling more personal by the moment. With all the noise gone, it was easier to think, to get swept up in sentiment & linger on the mistakes that stained their hands.

It was hard to imagine Pike with shaking hands when those hands wrought so much life. Pike was a grounding presence, a literal light in the darkness… but all light casted shadows. It's daunting to be presented with her truth, though he cannot help but revel in the fact that he's trusted with it.

He wants desperately to reach out, to comfort her, but it was not in his nature. Percy's heartbeats feel too tight as he turns her words over in his head, each ' thump agonizingly slow as he chooses his words. His instinct is to push, to avoid the emotions woven into the divulgence. He could dance around the words, he could shift the subject & look to something easier to chew on until they too filtered out of the tavern. But he won't disrespect her like that, despite his instinctual aversion to sentiment.

Even now, he sees it in her eyes. That light that dances in them relentlessly, the shadows that linger beyond. Percy thinks Pike may have the deepest understanding of life & death out of all of their friends. Sure, they were all well-acquainted with the concept. But she knew what it was to give life, take life, lose life. It would change anyone by the end of it.

Perhaps if she felt anything like he did, she knew how those concepts could tangle uncomfortably. She had to sift through the threads of good & evil & make that choice. It was one she seemed relentless in, unstoppable in her quest to be better than she was yesterday & the day before. Determination aside, they were still prone to mistakes.

Mistakes could make a man, but Pike was better than any man Percy had ever known.

" Clumsy or not, those hands do an awful lot of good. " Percy peers over the rim of his drink, taking a sip to wash down his aversion to emotion. Percy didn't have the most reliable philosophy on good…but he tried to be when circumstances allowed it. Good was just fine when the opportunity presented itself, but it was hardly his priority. But Pike tried, even when it was hard. Even when she couldn't be. That was more than Percy could say about himself. Those instances didn't change her at her core. She was a rock, an anchor, an unstoppable force in an unyielding world. maybe he's getting a bit sappy, maybe the drinks are hitting him a bit harder than he expected.

" Besides, if you were too clever you wouldn't have kept me around." His features split into a crooked smile, sarcasm dancing off his tongue. He washes it down with another sip before he softens, just a bit, " Clumsy isn't so bad. Clever gets you into trouble anyways. "

[angelictyphoon]

Tears track hotly down his face before Vash even has time to process what's happening. Wolfwood presses in close, and Vash finds himself stuttering for breath as he tucks his chin in against the crook of Wolfwood's neck. Like a battering ram, Wolfwood has barreled past 'I'm fine.' The facade that Vash has carefully erected means nothing. 

Not with the warmth of life that seeps into his clothes, solid, real. Rhythmic, a strong beating heart pressed over his own accompanied by the scent of sandalwood and tobacco he can barely smell because he is congested with ugly, shoulder-shaking sobs. His arms slowly wind up Wolfwood's back, climbing like vines, clinging tightly like he has found a lifeline.

At the end, Knives finally understood. What it meant to touch the heart of others, to let theirs touch yours. 

Victory tasted several shades of bittersweet.

The monster of choice came for him that day, like how it has lingered on the fringes of every day since. Looming like the red glare of the Fifth Moon over their heads.

He does not keep track of how long they stand there beneath the stretch of No Man's Land's nightly colors. Long enough for him to stop trembling, for gasping breaths to become quiet sniffles pressed to the now damp shoulder of Wolfwood's jacket. Long enough for him to remember to smile, even if he is sad.

Confession weighs heavily on the tip of his tongue, the deepening furrow of his brow, and he wonders what Wolfwood would think of the self-fulfilling prophecy that woke the dreaming saint. Who better to hear it?

"Walking is the easy part."

The footsteps they leave here will fade. Filled in by the infinitesimal amounts of sand coaxed into motion by the desert breeze. Vash, watery-eyed and flushed red, reluctantly pulls back. Back, but not fully away. Enough to see Wolfwood’s face. He continues to marvel at it, the familiar hook of his nose, warm eyes and a warm gaze set against dark skin and the scratchy beginnings of a beard. 

“You were right, you know.” When Wolfwood gives him a look of question, Vash meets eye contact with no hints of regret and offers him a smile. The light of the Fifth Moon is more than enough for them to see by; an observer far older than Vash himself. “About having to choose,” he elaborates, because Wolfwood has been right about a great many things as they tumbled from each speck of humanity clinging to life in the No Man’s Land to the next.

The buzz of worm wings has quieted to a thrum in the shadows of the engine. They are far from the cover of sandstone mesas that hem in large swaths of the sand sea or dry canyon beds that might offer nooks and crannies to hide in. Every minute they spend out in the open is risky, but this is important and Vash is determined. 

They have escaped by the skin of their teeth from worse situations before.

“I chose.” I chose you, he does not say, and perhaps Wolfwood knows him well enough that he does not have to when fresh tears line his eyes and Vash finally looks away so Wolfwood cannot see them fall. His Adam's apple bobs with a swallow and the last piece of his admission. “And I would make the same choice every time.”

Vash anticipates Wolfwood's counterpoint. Of course he does; it was an argument they had in fits and starts during their travels--crisis after crisis, town after town, a breakneck beat blistered across the desert, punctuated with bullets, punctuated with stones from the hands of terrified children.

He anticipates because he knows. He knew then too. He knew so much, so quickly, and he worked to forge another path anyway.

And what Vash says sees Nicholas stopping dead in his tracks, worn shoes tilted against the crest of the dune. Lurched. Only the weight of his cross keeps him balanced, and even then he looks as though he might fall. As though he has stopped breathing. For a moment, he does.

The skies are vast, clear, cloudless. The worm swarm, bioluminescent, has descended from the heavens to land on the ruined drive cones, to consume whatever fuel residuals might remain. All that leaves is the vault of stars, the glare of moonlight - only the Fifth Moon hugs the horizon, a dim half-lidded eye that never fully closes. Gazing. All-consuming. Red, red. Red, like blood. Red like Vash's coat. Red, staring back, staring deep, staring through, casting a long, long shadow behind them.

Gone.

Only when he burns his crumpled cigarette down to the filter - only when the heat threatens to singe his lips - does he exhale its remains in a hot plume against the plunging cold, dropping the butt into the shifting sand.

Vash is at his flank, and he wonders--who guides whom? Some ideals are worth dying for, much as something feral in him growls and snarls at the notion, and he has no reason to assume a lie.

He had to. Knives is gone.

Processing, even with enhanced synapses, takes far more time than he would care to admit. 

But then Vash is saying more, touching his arm. Points of contact. Suggestions. Next steps. Wolfwood finds himself without words to reach for. Struck utterly silent. He has an arsenal at his disposal - guns aplenty, a litany of doctrine and religious text, dexterous hands fit for killing, fit for practical mending, fit for card tricks and chicanery, but he does not have the tools to articulate this.

The Punisher thuds into the sand, its mass driving it down like a coffin nail stuck in a burl. It sags, upright at an angle, and he does nothing to correct it, because he wheels on the man in red without pretense and without warning. Reaching, seizing, grabbing, pulling.

Not quite crushing. Close. Desperate. As if he could shield him with an embrace, guard against pain that already resonates. He was never the greatest at affection, not genuinely, but damn it, he intends to try.

Tucking his chin to the top of Vash's shoulder, Nicholas means to clasp at the base of his neck, callused, nicotine-stained fingers careful with the fringe of sable at his nape.

"...I'm sorry," he manages, but for the life of him he cannot elucidate as to what for.

For doubt. For loss. For not being there. For everything.

Knives was a monster through and through, but that hardly changes the fact that he and Vash were blood. Two halves of a coin. Brothers. 

He was never the greatest at affection, but he knows the grim toll of grief, of guilt. He knows what it means to lose a brother - even if Livio found himself again. Even if Wolfwood then became the darker, more violent half that Livio lost.

Unpleasant thought, unpleasant parallel.

They cannot stay here; there’s an ocean of dunes to cross, a straight line between death, devastation, and hope before the suns rise, before the scavengers have a chance to pursue.

A few minutes. Time feels nebulous at best.

“S’a long walk.” Limned with concern, his raspy observation is quiet as anything. “Closer than the Citadel.”

[skztea]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ What SKZ members value most in a partner? -> req by lovely anon!

✦ bang chan ੈ✩‧₊˚

-> companionship

• i feel like companionship is extremely important for chan, which is something that his partner would have. Being away from his family for 3 years+ is tough, despite all the smiles and giggles he plastered on his face. There will definitelt be times when he felt disappointed, hopeless, empty, exhausted as most of the things are piling on him. He is the parental figure of the group, where he has to carry multiple responsibilities at once while being alone in korea without next of kins around.

• As his partner, she understood all his circumstances and she makes sure she will provide the most companionship for him as possible. Not necessarily be beside him 24/7, which is highly impossible since he is living in the dorm but she will consistently check up on him, making sure he is eating his meals, getting enough sleep, lending her listening ear whenever needed etc to make him feel engulfed safely in her arms. There isn’t anyone whom he can really confide in as his members are heavily tied with career and his family are miles away, the only person he can resort to is his partner. Being unconditionally by his side gives him lots of securities, at least he won’t feel afraid if he falls, because he knows someone else is there to catch him. Of course, he would also reciprocate a good amount of time with his partner as well which makes it a 2-way healing relationship.

“Im so grateful to have you by my side, unconditionally accompanying me and providing the most comfort when i am at my worst,” he breathed into the phone as he stared at the ceiling, smiling at the image of you floating in his brain.

“Hey, isn’t what lovers are for? Of course im always here for you,” you chuckled softly at the other end, causing the latter cheek’s flushing as he placed his palm over his palpitating heart, also chuckling at how you managed to make his heart race even after years.

“You are very clear of my soft spots for you.”

✦ minho ੈ✩‧₊˚

-> trust

• scorpio men…the first thing that pops in my mind is -> spiky. I mean i can see my dad’s shadow on minho 🤧 because both of them are scorpios and both are really spiky and sarcastic on the exterior and they hates, injustice. So i guess i can assume that minho really hates hinderance/betrayal from people he is close to, especially his partner. I would see him valuing trust and transperancy very much as he dislikes people who doubt him without a valid reason. To me i feel that trust is like one of the most fundamental yet crucial values that a relationship should possess.

• he would value trust alot from his partner because he feels honoured when she believes in him. It’s not that she put all the eggs in one basket but she felt that if she has chosen someone as her partner/lover, she would want to have faith in him, in whatever things he does, in the feelings he has for her and how he will juggle his career and relationship. Some partners would overthink if their companion will seek other relationships when they are not physically together to kill temporary boredom but as his partner, it isn’t even the case. The more she overthinks, the more it will happen. So might as well she just gives him the trust, letting him do his runway. Trust doesn’t need to be expressed frequently but by the tone and attitude, minho will understand that his partner is trusting him ultimately in every aspects he does -> which makes him trust her in the same way she did.

“Why do you trust me so much? Are you not worried if i will go back against the will one day?” Your lover gently carassed your arms as he backhugged you, face nudging into the crook of your neck as he teased.

“Why would i be scared? I trust you because i trust my decision of choosing you, as well as knowing your personality for years,” you speaked in no doubt, making the latter giggled softly as he hugged you tighter.

“Damn, you always know how to make me fall for you all over again.”

✦ changbin ੈ✩‧₊˚

-> commitment

• i can see that changbin values loyalty and commitment alot, like alot. He always emits that sense of brotherhood among the members and i believe that it applies in relationship too. Once he is committed, he will really put his partner at the tip of his heart and if ever the partner betrays him, wow, he will be a volcano that erupts explosively (may even hunt you down and teach you a lesson before letting you go). Like he will think that if the partner don’t wanna commit to the relationship why even get into it at the first place? Solve yourself before finding someone to solve it for you.

• highly appreciative of how committed his partner is. Doesn’t need to be all times on the line or text, but knowing how to make her presence when needed makes him elated. Things like visiting him in his dorm, buying him food at times, accompanying him physically or virtually, supporting him before his stages etc. Most importantly, knowing how to draw a decent line with other opposite genders. He will be extremely touched to see his partner appearing in almost all the events, sitting one side quietly and delicately taking beautiful pictures of him and sharing with him later. There isn’t a need to say much, but just enjoying each other’s presence no matter when and where is what makes him loyal to his partner too. Both knowing that they can’t meet all the time but still doing well on their life makes them cherish each other more and fall into each other’s arms when they need it makes the relationship priceless.

“I didn’t expect you to come!” Changbin almost crashed into your arms as you went to the dressing room to visit him.

“Of course i have to! It’s been so long since you had a physical fansign event and i just want to visit and congradulate you bub,” you reciprocated the hug as he giggled foolishly.

“You are the best babe, always appearing when i think of you.”

✦ hyunjin ੈ✩‧₊˚

-> empathy

• well it’s well known that hyunjin is attracted to someone who has lots of empathy and is able to put herself into his shoes while he shares his worries. I think this is an absolute value that everyone should have instead of being self-centred. Furthermore, Hyunjin is someone who is extremely sensitive and fragile on the inner, he needs a partner that is able to understand him and his concerns that are never shared with others before. He may like someone who knows how to be grateful for life and her surroundings, being a living reminder for him that humanity still exist.

• he values this because firstly it’s hard for him to open up his heart, spilling his truthful thoughts to someone with the fear of hurting anyone close to him. There are countless times when he wished he was braver to speak to other members, but the hurted face makes him gulp down all the words. Also afraid to bother his parents, the only person he can be vulnerable with is his partner. And that is why empathy is very important. Being an idol is easily complimented or bashed, in just a couple of clicks or punches of the keyboard warriors. His partner have to be someone who is able to stand in his perspective and understand his situation, lending a solid pillar for him to rely on. If his partner isn’t able to create that safe space for hin then he will only be drowning instead of redempting himself. However, getting him to speak up for the first time is as tough as hard rock stone, but once he feels secured to spill he will not be able to stop, because he already places all the bet on her.

“Talking to you always makes me feel so much better, you are a cure to my heart,” planting a soft kiss on your forehead, he rubbed slow circles on your cheeks as his face is inches away from yours.

“Hey, don’t always bottle up things in yourself, telling someone is better than suffocating on your own,” wiping his strand of tears away, you adored by looking at his redden eyes, still holding that youth of innocence in his eyes.

“I love you,” he breathed before leaning in to meet your lips with his.

✦ jisung ੈ✩‧₊˚

-> accountability

• jisung…hmm being someone who is kinda ‘problematic’ in a sense where he becomes slightly destructive during arguments or conflicts, he will have nothing to say but salute his partner for being extremely accountable. We all know that every member said jisung has issues with each of them and how other members tend to approach him first, i feel that he will take a longer time to cool down as his partner. Nothing wrong for sure, everybody has their own ways of resolving conflicts. But for jisung i feel that he will look up to his partner who is accountable for her own actions as he may not have the courage to do so at times.

• Initiating a chill conversation after a fight or apologising first during a fight doesn’t mean that one lost. It is more about how she cared for his wellbeing, worried that he will be too affected by the conflict that impacted his work. If she is in the wrong, she definitely will own it up and apologise. Even if she don’t, but she will make sure that both of them have come to a consensus before life moves on. Instead of starting a cold war or carelessly saying break ups all the time, his partner will make sure he sees her perspective as well and piecing things up again, which is something that jisung may not have it. His partner will be someone that allows jisung to grow, learning to how to better resolve conflicts with others. A handful of partners will tend to accomodate or avoid conflict but his partner won’t. It is important to let him see the impact of his and her actions and how both of them can work hand in hand to understand and cherish each other after every fights, and that’s what make jisung enlightened as a human, son, friend, colleague and lover.

“You know, i always feel so bad that you have to be the first one to step up to talk to me even though it’s my fault, but you don’t blame me for it,” the latter teared as he hid his face within his palms, shameful to look at you.

“Hun, it doesn’t matter who stepped up first but what’s important is that, we learnt each time we argue, we cherish each time we fight…there are no perfect relationships and all we need is, consensus,” ruffling his head, he embraced you into his arms as he whispered multiple “im sorrys” into your ear.

✦ felix ੈ✩‧₊˚

-> vulnerability

• vulnerability is one of the most essential values as well. If you are not vulnerable to your partner, then to who else? A partner is there to support and love you when you are down and vice versa. Felix being someone who is sentimental would greatly adore his partner being all vulnerable infront of him, so that he feels the responsibility to keep you happy or happier each day you date him. Felix is the kind that really hold his partner tight and close to his heart, almost spending all his free time texting or talking to her to make sure she is doing fine.

• since he is someone who cares very much about people he loves, he would want to he a solid support pillar for his partner. He will take his time to get to know her, learning about her successes and struggles before meeting him, especially if she has any past traumatic relationship so he knows what to do to avoid hurting you. Being vulnerable will pull each other alot closer and interwining the hearts, which is something that felix finds it romantic about. He probably imagined endless times how his partner would lean on his chest and sharing worries or insecurities, and he would reassure her until she believes in him and light again. It also made him feel honoured that his partner trusts him fully and hoping he will make a good presence in her life, be the one that pulls her out of the muddy water that she choked in for long.

“Lix, you know i really hate burdening people with my own issues, but you seem like the one who enjoy hearing them the most,” fiddling his fingers, you looked at that latter who has glowy eyes staring at you for the past 15 mins.

“Babe, we are couples for a reason, i want to be someone you can fall back on and someone that helps you to be successful,” gently caressing your strands of hair as his eyes gazed across your features.

“You can always rely on me,” planting a soft kiss on your forehead, he teased you with another eskimo kiss that made the both of you giggle.

✦ seungmin ੈ✩‧₊˚

-> communication

• seungmin just gives me that vibe of being a good communicator. Like even though he looks like an introvert introvert (like all quiet and such) but i feel he is someone who is very patient when comes to conversing with his loved ones. The need of expressing how you feel about things is so crucial but deadly as people tends to derive it in another manner. If there is no communication in the world then people will never understand and support each other, not even mentioning giving and receiving love. Communicating doesn’t always have to be talking about serious issues, but casual conversations are good enough to have a gauge on how other party is coping.

• he would appreciate that from his partner because he feels that it is rare for people to be straightforward and honest with their opinions these days. People just tend to put on a facade or fake a smile to brush off things that things they don’t agree with or hurted them instead of truthfully expressing that those comments actually make them upset. As his partner it is important for her to let him know that what are the things they can work on rather than bottling up inside and ending by exploding all at once. Communication is about understanding and empathising with one another and if everyone avoids that, then what is the point for getting together? He really appreciates how his partner will get him to sit down, focusing on her as she depicts her thoughts. A relationship is like a ping pong, where both parties need to learn to reciprocate, communicate, understand each other.

“Im not good at mentioning things at times but you complemented me so well,” walking down along the paveway, both of you are licking the ice cream on each hands and throwing loving glares at each other.

“Of course, i know what is running in your mind,” winking playfully at the taller figure and lightly shaking his bigger palms.

“We fit each other like yin yang,” patting the top of your head gently, he retrieved your hand back in his.

✦ jeongin ੈ✩‧₊˚

-> respect

• lastly, i feel that jeongin values respect alot. Being an aquarius men, they usually prefer independence more, be it themselves or their partners. The respect given to each other, knowing that each other needs that private space as well is vital, making it a bonus that his partner possesses. For sure, he dislikes people who are clingy and mushy, prefably someone who is more rational and knowing how to limit her contact with him. Furthermore, he would love someone who respects his opinion and such instead of brushing them off. Validating one even if you don’t agree still shows you care for the person and hope to find a consensus.

• Independence that i mentioned before is not supposed to be inclining towards the negative aspect of it. Well, most people tend to perceive relationships as: couples relying on each other. However, we need to learn that life still goes on and every individual needs to take care of their own before they support others. If both were to constantly dependent on each other, both will burnout. His partner will remember this theory by heart and knowing that she needs to play her own part, including him. Everyone has their own boundaries and the simplest way is to respect each other instead of making yourself more superior. Jeongin will greatly appreciate how his partner will acknowledge his words even if she don’t exactly understand, but giving him the space to do the things he need. She will not always expect jeongin to give in to her, but more like both getting to know each other’s pov and become closer and stronger.

“I was afraid to get into a relationship because im worried if im not able to commit as much, my partner will be upset, but being with you erases all my worries away because you understood my concern and respected me,” your boyfriend who never backhugged you before broke his record.

“Jeongin…i get what you are worried about, because i priortises your happiness and comfortness over anything…like what you have done to me too,” grabbing onto his hands lightly, you assured him as he sniffed at your shampoo scent that lingers along your hair.

“Thank you for respecting everything i did, you are like my soulmate understanding all my needs even without me saying it.”

-> oh my goodness i finally finished this after doing 4 drafts. Not even kidding, 4 drafts. I was concerned with my work so i kept scraping off but this is it already i’ve tried my best ✋🏻🥲 | come join my 200 followers event here!

m.list I | a.bout

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[grewlikefancyflowers]

in case you're feeling too alone in this view, I agree wwx went to that conference to vent his anger. Yeah sure he had the right to crash the "kill wwx party" and zero sympathies for the guy who got his arrow thown back at him nor for his brother whose neck was broken (nor for anyone who went there? lol), but he DID go there to escalate things further and ended up participating in their endless cycle of vengeance (contrast him hearing abt himself and jyl being badmouthed which is hugely upsetting vs him hearing some nobodies claiming they'd teach him a lesson right before the conference), which he did not on his right mind and ended up making things worse for himself and everyone involved

yeah ! thank you for sending this. i think people maybe can't reconcile that fact that while wwx did have plenty of righteous reasons to be there, he wasn't there for righteous reasons.

i mean, we can see that in the build up to nightless city, wwx's emotional state is completely wrecked, and it culminates in him taking this all out of everyone else...

'He asked himself, Just why have I been locking myself up on Burial Mound all these years? Why do I have to go through all this? Why did I choose to walk this path in the beginning? Why did I make myself like this? What do others see me as? Just what have I gained? Have I gone mad? Have I gone mad? Have I gone mad?!'

'He should’ve understood long ago. No matter what he did, not a single good word would come out of these people’s mouths. He was cultivating the crooked path either way, so what exactly did the years of persistence mean? What exactly were they for?'

'Wei WuXian had already lost his judgement. He was already half-mad, half-unconscious. All evil was being augmented by him. He felt that everyone loathed him and he loathed everyone as well.'

this is a pretty far cry from 'let the self judge right and wrong, let gains and losses go uncommented on' and 'if there's hope then let's move'. he's not at all in his right mind here, he's not at all acting like himself. he was pushed to this point, i can't imagine rejoicing to see him like that ??

even almost immediately after nightless city, in the three months between then and the siege on burial mounds, we see that wwx already makes decisions opposite to what he did at nightless city. rather than venting his grief about wn & wq's deaths on the jianghu, he instead builds them a cenotaph. rather than using the yin hufu to against those who have wronged him, he instead sets about destroying it so that no one can use it again. by the time wwx died, he was at peace with himself & what he had done, that's why he's so completely over it by the time the second siege rolls around, and why he never became a resentful ghost despite everything.

still, none of this changes the fact that everyone had gathered at nightless city with the intention of killing wwx, and every one of them had it coming.

[veenxys]

Dancing to some silly music at the crack of dawn + Shinso? 👉👈 (when you have time/inspiration to write of course!) - 🌺

⋆ ♡̷ .ﾟ prompt! dancing to some silly music at the crack of dawn

⋆ ♡̷ .ﾟ prompt list <3

shinso's soft and gentle fingers gliding smoothly over your body makes you snuggle even more on the bed; like it was a sweet dream that you didn't want to wake up from. you hear him let out a low, soft laugh and, reluctantly, you open your eyes. he smiles and greets you with a lazy "hello" as he continues to run his fingertips gently over your skin, as if he's afraid of breaking you.

you smile back and stare at him for a few seconds. but your smile quickly fades when you realize that shinso hadn't slept. well, how do you know? it's easy to notice, the darkest circles under his eyes, the messy hair because he shifted in bed over and over again as he tried to look for the sleep that never came.

he notices your expression changing and comes closer to you, wrapping his arms around you and kissing the top of your head. his scent invades all your thoughts; and it's like you're in heaven, being held by an angel that would never let you fall.

"you know i'm trying," he says huskily, hinting that yes, he's been trying very hard to have a healthy sleep routine, but sometimes he just can't. of course you understand that, and he is very grateful for that.

"it's okay.. i just wish you had woken me up so i could help you with something" you say as you put your face in the crook of his neck, snuggling into the heat of his body.

"sorry..but well, i don't think there's anything you could do to help me. you already do so much.." he says sincerely before kissing the top of your head again.

you mumble something incomprehensible because honestly you can't barely hear him, the sleep and comfort you tried to ward off were now taking over you.

"hey sleepyhead. you're going to be late" he says smiling as he realizes you've fallen asleep on him. you grumble and he pulls out of the hug only to come face to face with you. he smiles and lightly caresses your cheek with his thumb before leaving soft, slightly lingering kisses on your forehead, temples, cheek, nose, chin, and finally your lips. each kiss with a pure and genuine meaning that only you understood. and you smile.

you promise him you'll get up in five minutes, but five minutes turns into ten, fifteen... and against your will, you get up.

the two of you exchange kisses and soft glances as you make the bed together, working in unison as you share a soft, peaceful atmosphere, but you know it won't last long when you see him reaching for his headphones and cell phone.

he always does this when he needs to cheer himself up to start the day or try to fall asleep when sleep doesn't come, but by the look on his face, you know he wants to make the day worthwhile.

he smiles and, wordlessly, hands you one of the headphones while he chooses a song. you didn't know that shinso was listening to this style of music until he put it on, a confused and surprised expression appears on your face and he smiles at you.

"what? can't i change my style a little?" he says laughing as he wraps his arms around you, slowly starting what was supposed to be a lively and exciting dance.

your cheeks hurt from smiling so much; the sight of him looking at your feet like he's afraid to step on them, and the cute, embarrassed smile he has on his face when he looks up and sees you looking at him.. everything in that little moment makes your heart race, make your love for him grow and shine even more.