#I would do it if I didn’t have zero rizz

[codewitch]

I dunno. One of the things I can’t shake about politics is how many online leftists talk about how democrats don’t include them in their party and it’s like. What leftists are in politics for them to include? The far right has been very successful in dragging the overtone window by seeding the political vacancies with themselves at the lower level, which gives the party a lot of people to pick from, as well as local power. And federal judgeships, which are now working in tandem to funnel any bullshit case to the Supreme Court to strip away even more rights and protections. Leftists focus all their energy on activism and think there’s no value into pursuing political careers. Like I dunno man it’s been hugely successful for the other guys and they just keep ignoring our protests maybe we should try it too. AOC and Bernie Sanders can’t do it all on their own.

[whyse7vn]

RIZZLESS -

[ot7 x reader]

HOSEOK -

hobi: on a scale of one to pregnant how much do you love me

y/n: abortion

hobi: ok then

y/n: u were in my dream last night

hobi: was my fit hard?

y/n: you was cheating

hobi: real

y/n: ???

hobi: ??

anyways let’s fuck i’m so fr rn

y/n: kiss me through the phone

hobi: ft me 😍

y/n: ew no

you really think i’m gonna have esex with u rn???

hobi: ok the term esex is a REAL turn off

also why not

u not fucking with my rizz?

y/n: what rizz?

hobi: i would fight a lion for you

y/n: is that it?

hobi: is that it????

why are you acting like the lion line didn’t get you going back in the day

y/n: back in the day?? are we 65?

hobi: ur acting 65

y/n: sorry i don’t want to have phone sex

leave me alone

hobi: do you not love me

y/n: not rn no

hobi: look into my eyes baby

y/n: stop harassing me

hobi: is my game really that bad?

y/n: i’m afraid so

hobi: don’t be afraid

hoseokies got u

y/n: hoseokie?? i have never called you that in my life

hobi: ok well maybe you should start

y/n: i won’t

hobi: mannnnn :(

i’ll even call you something cute in return

what about hunnybun 💞

y/n: i’m gonna kill myself and it’s gonna be ur fault

hobi: WAIT!!!!

let me fuck first

y/n: ur insufferable

hobi: i love a woman with a big vocabulary

like yesss tell me i’m gargantuan while we fucking

y/n: ur so fucking gross

how am i with you

hobi: we are in deep deep love

y/n: i’m in a deep deep depression

hobi: that mean u freaky right?

y/n: can you leave me alone now

hobi: i love and miss you

y/n: i can tell

hobi: can you not just say you love and miss me back like wow ur so difficult why do i put up with this

y/n: we are in deep deep love!!!

hobi: u a super freak 😍⁉️

y/n: zero fucking rizz

JUNGKOOK -

jungkook: are you an apple?

y/n: no?

jungkook: because apple pie

y/n: ?

jungkook: 👍🏻

y/n: i’m lost

jungkook: so am i

y/n: are you trying to flirt with me?

jungkook: i’m sorry

pls don’t hit me

y/n: your making it real hard not to rn

jungkook: do you have the time?

y/n: no

jungkook: 4:30 pm 😉

y/n: that makes zero sense

jungkook: i have more

please baby

y/n: no

jungkook: you must be a waterfall

y/n: i am not

jungkook: wet

y/n: ew

jungkook: don’t slip

y/n: leave me alone

jungkook: do you like it

y/n: what do you think

jungkook: a little

y/n: no

jungkook: oh

y/n: yeah

jungkook: i’m so sorry

y/n: i know

jungkook: 🥹

y/n: if i could i would punch you rn

jungkook: out of love and appreciation?

y/n: i haven’t decided yet

jungkook: i get that

y/n: do you?

jungkook: 😞……

y/n: you make my brain hurt so bad

but i have to kiss you on the mouth passionately

jungkook: kiss

y/n: ur so annoying

UGH

real himbo u are

jungkook: haribo?

y/n: what?

jungkook: no

y/n: what?????

jungkook: are you butter?

y/n: ?

jungkook: smooth like 😍

y/n: are you drunk?

jungkook: no

y/n: are you sure?

jungkook: are you sure yes

y/n: what the actual fuck are you saying to me rn

jungkook: i’m trying to appear more intelligent

y/n: it is not working!

jungkook: have you liked my pickup lines so far

y/n: i wonder what it is like in your brain

truly

jungkook: me 2

y/n: what did you actually want from me kookie

jungkook: do you think i’m good at pickup lines?

y/n: lol!

TAEHYUNG -

taehyung: BRO JIMIN KEEPS SAYING I HAVE NO RIZZ LIKE HOW DOES HE THINK I PULLED YOU IS HE STUPID???????

y/n: you just called me bro?

taehyung:

my fault my amazing sunshine queen nugget honey muffin pie baked at 180 degrees for 25 minutes made with love sprinkles happiness and joy

y/n: jimin is right

taehyung: my rizz was just so out of this world good it made you think it was bad

y/n: if being delusional was a olympic sport you would have like 15 hundred gold medals by now

taehyung: that’s impossible actually

y/n: tHaTs iMpOsSiBlE aCtuALlY 🤓☝🏽

taehyung: u think ur funny

y/n: hilarious actually

taehyung: i would stab myself for you

y/n: boring

jimin would definitely die for me

taehyung: ok?? who said i wasn’t dying like god you can never let me finish

y/n: ok but jimin would of opened with i would die for you

taehyung: jimin clearly isn’t a vivid story teller like i am

i would of broken down the whole getting stabbed and dying for you storyline if you’d fucking let me

y/n: i like a man that gets straight to the point

taehyung: i love you

y/n: jimin would of kissed me

taehyung: i’m trying to flirt with u right now and ur being difficult

y/n: jimin would of done this better sighs

taehyung: i could outrizz jimin any day

y/n: outrizz? that sounds like something a 12 year old would say

taehyung: maybe i am 12

y/n: ew?

don’t say that

taehyung: do you think we would fall in love if we met when we were 12?

y/n: probably those were ur normal days

idk what happened to you after that

u really let urself go

taehyung: i ate an ant for the first time when i was 12

y/n: nvm

for the first time????

and the last i hope

taehyung: i be getting hungry sometimes

y/n: imagine how insane your fans would think you are if they saw even a day’s worth of the shit you say to me

taehyung: insanely sexy like you see me right lol 😩

y/n: fuck you

taehyung: go ahead then

fuck me

ain’t nobody holding you back

yehaw

y/n: yehaw?

taehyung: sorry the cowboy in me likes to come out sometimes

did he make you blush

y/n: seek help i’m not joking

JIMIN -

jimin: whenever i get a message from you i moan a little bit

i hope it’s the same for you

do you moan for me babe

i bet you do

u freak

yeah

i like that

y/n: wow

jimin: why are you cheating on me

y/n: ?????

where is this coming from

and how did you go from moaning at my notifications to accusing me of cheating?

jimin: so many questions not enough answers

answer me pretty

y/n: are you trying to fuck me or fight me right now

like what is going on?

jimin: you held namjoons hand yesterday

y/n: he literally fell on the floor

i helped him up

jimin: ok so?

he’s a grown man

he can get up by himself

y/n: he twisted his ankle

so no he couldn’t get up by himself

jimin: ok but a real man would of walked it off

y/n: idk what to tell u then

namjoon must have a pussy? idk

jimin: ur into that tho

u freak

y/n: what?????

jimin: i’m like real drunk rn

y/n: jimin what the hell its 11:30 in the morning???

jimin: ok?? the henny was calling me

y/n: this is real concerning baby

jimin: baby huh?

y/n: where are you rn

jimin: filming

y/n: ur filming this fucked up? be fr

jimin: ok but did you believe me for a second

y/n: not one

jimin: aw man :(

rate my back flip

y/n: what

jimin: i just did it can you rate it pls

y/n: 4/10?

jimin: wtf

you clearly don’t know anything about the art of flipping 💀

y/n: k

jimin: my backflip was majestic

y/n: i can bet you like 20k rn that you did not flip at all

jimin: looks like i’m 20k up

y/n: don’t lie to me

jimin: i’m a good liar

y/n: definitely not!

jimin: do you want to make out

y/n: no

jimin: ur loss

y/n: i’ll cope

jimin: you won’t I’m telling you baby

y/n: i’m coping

jimin: ur not i can see it in your eyes

y/n: you can’t even see me rn

jimin: i see you in my heart

y/n: thanks

jimin: yw

i’m gonna throw up now

y/n: ew

drink some water please

jimin: let me spit game rq

y/n: ok?

jimin: eye🤤

y/n: LMAOSOS WHAT???

jimin: do i have game?

y/n: absolutely not but i love the effort!

jimin: i want you so bad

be mindful 🤭

y/n: mindful?

jimin: minecraft

mini

mother

maybe

mauwjc

movement

mw

meow

mmmmm

motel

mountain

y/n: this is real sad

it’s not even 12 yet

alcoholism kills

jimin: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

y/n: you’ll get it i believe in you

NAMJOON -

namjoon: sent you money baby

y/n: ew why

namjoom: felt like it

y/n: gonna use it for evil

namjoon: what?

y/n: evil tasks

namjoon: ok be safe love 👍🏻❤️

y/n: love ur silly emojis sighs

namjoon: rizz

y/n: rizz?

namjoon: rizz

y/n: LMAO WHAT

namjoon: rizz

i just rizzed rn

y/n: EW THAT SOUNDS SO GROSS

tf you mean you just rizzed

namjoon: i have rizz

y/n: who taught you that what the hell

namjoon: i learnt it myself this time

i have rizz

am i saying this right

i think i am

rizz

you’ve been rizzed

anyways love you bye ❤️

rizz

y/n: HELPSJDJDJXJ

DON’T GO JOONIE

come back

namjoon: i am back

y/n: i would LOVE to see more of this so called “rizz” you have

namjoon: oh ok

❤️

rizz

y/n: LAMSKOSOSODODODJDJDN

is it necessary to say rizz every time?

namjoon: i think so

idk if i’m doing this right

i hope i am

it feels right

y/n: ur hearts in the right place and that’s all that matters tbh

namjoon: i’m glad

also i booked dinner for us later

major rizz 😆

y/n: UR SO SILLY

ohmygod i love you i do

namjoon: you like my rizz?

y/n: love it

namjoon: thanks cuz idk what i’m actually talking about

y/n: i can tell

namjoon: rizz is like game right?

i have game i’m a good flirt it means that right?

y/n: basically

namjoon: so is it tue?

do i have major unspoken rizz?

y/n: ew never say that again

it was cute until it wasn’t

namjoon: aw wtf :/

was i doing good?

y/n: great actually

major unspoken rizz was ur downfall

namjoon: mannnnn

i’ll never say that again

as long as i live

y/n: i’m glad

namjoon: was it a major ick? a red flag perhaps???

y/n: stop talking

SEOKJIN -

jin: ur so quiet downstairs

y/n: you want me to start beatboxing or something??

jin: would you 🥺

y/n: bye

jin: can you please come lay with me im bored

y/n: in a bit

jin: boo

y/n: i’m studying

jin: for what?

y/n: what do you want

jin: you 😋

y/n: wait

jin: woof

y/n: ??

jin: sorry you since you wanna talk to me like a dog i thought i’ll act like one

y/n: you are not trying to argue with me rn…

jin: and if i am 😚?

y/n: or worst is this ur fucked up way of flirting with me…..

jin: wow you know me so well ^^

you know i love u most when ur a little bit mad at me >.<

i’m a empath

y/n: that is not what that means

jin: ok so what

y/n: it means ur stupid

jin: you want me so bad

y/n: idk who told you that

jin: the voices

y/n: woah?

jin: do i scare you?

people say i’m a freak…

they laugh

they giggle

but ur different

you see…

me

y/n: tf are you going on about??

laugh and giggle basically the same thing ur dumb as hell x2

ur pissing me off bye

jin: BABE COME BACK

let me seduce you

y/n: lmk when the seduction starts cuz i’m not feeling what ever tf this is

jin: ok it started the moment i said woof but i get it ur a picky lady

u have standards

i respect that

hold my hand

look at me

i love you

i NEED you

y/n: fuck off kim seokjin

jin: ok tough crowd tonight lmao

ok my egos not hurt at all

in fact it’s gotten a little larger

y/n: whatever

jin: lol

y/n: ??

jin: i think being with you has made me lose my natural charm

i swear i can flirt

y/n: who told u that

that’s crazy

jin: i CAN flirt

y/n: sure

jin: like i’m really god at it

y/n: yeah!

jin: ur being sarcastic

y/n: am i?

jin: i’ll punch you

y/n: that’s not how you flirt now silly!!!!

jin: you are becoming my downfall in life

next ur gonna take my extremely good looks away from me

y/n: you got me!

jin: bitch

y/n: i don’t think i’ll come upstairs actually

jin: was my charm not good enough?

y/n: take a guess

YOONGI -

yoongi: ur eyes shine

y/n: ok

yoongi: ur hair is shiny

y/n: thanks

yoongi: ur teeth shine

y/n: ok?

yoongi: i can’t do this omg

y/n: tf was that

yoongi: i think my rizz is better when it’s unspoken

y/n: i agree cuz ur telling me THAT was rizz???

wow u suck lol

yoongi: sorry wtf

i would like to see you do better

y/n: i’ll impregnate you rn lol 😋

yoongi: yeah you can’t flirt for shit

y/n: wtf that was one of my best lines

yoongi: that almost made me do a line of coke

y/n: h-hi i k-kinda like you okay >\\\<

yoongi: ok stop

y/n: let me cook bae

yoongi: absolutely not

y/n:

shhhhhh

come here kitten

yoongi: i’m gonna throw up

y/n: you should be like that one mark lee video rn

“ur making me blush”

if i was you and you were me and you as me said that to me as you ik i (as you) would be blushing like CRAZY

yoongi: sucks ur not me and i’m not you then

y/n: it does

how i would kill for someone to say that to me…

sighsssssss

yoongi: absolutely not

ur out of ur mind

y/n: yoongiiiiiiiii

ur no fun

pleaseeeeeeeee :3

look i did ur silly face

pls oh pls oh pleaseeeeeee

:3

:3

:3

yoongi: i’m gonna block you

y/n: just one come here kitten and i’ll never ever message you again

yoongi: ur out of ur mind

y/n: for you 😍

yoongi: no

y/n: :c

yoongi: stop

y/n: :c

:c

:c

yoongi: i’m not doing it

y/n: ㅠㅠ

that’s me crying rn

as we speak

yoongi: bye

y/n: you will say it

yoongi: why do you have so many pictures of this man

y/n: why are you jealous??

dw you know ur my one and only bbg

wow my rizz out of this world

you can no longer send messages to this contact!

—

tags: @piw6n @jvmisvu @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizzal @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @indigobsessed @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @yojaschill @k4ngelz

[raisedbythetv89]

excuse the ranting here but just had someone try and argue that a fully evil literally on the hunt for the Slayer (bc he’s stalking his PREY to fight and hopefully kill) Spike - finding Buffy attractive (according to an interview James gave where he talks about that moment and said he embodied the kinds of predatory men who literally are “on the hunt” for real life women in bars) as anywhere NEAR the same level of creepiness as a SOULFUL aka SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD angel stalking and falling in love at the sight of an innocent and crying 15 year old Buffy….

Anti spike/spuffy ppl always try and use that interview to make Spike out to be “just as creepy” as Angel which is always just so embarrassing to me that they don’t grasp the basic difference between one was the most evil and literally is a predator to her prey but buffy is also a predator to spike’s kind so there is even still a balance of power between them even then and he’s literally just explaining how he played the scene to get the attitude and body language right as a predator bc he understands that’s what Spike is to Buffy at that time (literally had zero clue he would ever be a love interest of Buffy’s). And the other who is not supposed to be a predator anymore…. hides his identity as a vampire AND hides the fact that he’s been watching her for over a year is still acting as a predator but instead of stalking an experienced slayer to attempt to fight and kill he is stalking a freshly called still weak and vulnerable slayer who he wants to sleep with aka corrupt.

Angel is supposed to be GOOD yet is still acting like a predator. Spike IS EVIL and so is simply acting as someone who has killed two slayers should 💀💀💀💀 the fact that soulless evil Spike and soulful “good” Angel’s behavior can be compared AT ALL is bad for angel and angel alone bc spike is supposed to be evil and treating buffy as someone he is hunting and as an opponent. Angel is supposed to be HELPING Buffy….

But regardless of all that the argument is James said Sarah is beautiful so of course he played up that angle as well so canonically Spike thinks a 16 year old Buffy is pretty and these people really don’t understand the difference between the two 😭😭

First of all I personally have heard Sarah call herself “not the prettiest” at least 10 times in 10 different interviews - how often do you think the people in her life heard her make jokes or comments about her appearance??? To me that always seemed like James just paying a compliment to his costar who doesn’t understand how literally fucking STUNNING she is by basically being like HAVE YOU SEEN HER OF COURSE MY CHARACTER THINKS SHE’S PRETTY LOOK AT HER!! James literally rizzed his way into a main character and love interest like of course he’s gonna be charming in real life by paying compliments to everyone he can every chance he gets. He had sex appeal and a dream AND IT WORKED 💀 and we also see him have chemistry with practically every person on the show that’s just who he is 😹😹😹

But I also just cannot emphasize how much of a difference there is between finding someone attractive or thinking they’re beautiful vs actually ACTING on it and ESPECIALLY acting on it when you call her friend of the same age “just a kid” and say over and over again how wrong it is and that she’s too young AND THEN DO IT ANYWAY. Like it’s a supernatural show with vampires who are 100 & 200+ years old if angel hadn’t constantly acted like her dad and treated Buffy like a kid and everything is season 3 didn’t happen there could be sooooooo much more leniency with angel and buffy’s age differences and I probably wouldn’t care bc applying irl rules to the supernatural doesn’t make a lot of sense but angel always treats her like a child and says over and over again how wrong it is and THAT is what makes it a problem within this supernatural show bc Spike never treats her like a child or like she isn’t his equal ever no matter what age she is

But unfortunately it makes sense people who like a character whose main personality trait is !catholic guilt! (when he’s got a soul) don’t understand the difference between thoughts and actions and how we should only be defining ourselves and other people by their actions. Because we are not every single thought we’ve ever had both good and bad. If you think to do good things but don’t that does not make you good and if you think to do bad things but don’t that does not make you bad.

So evil Spike thinking a beautiful Buffy dancing with her friends is hot at 16 is not even CLOSE to the same as a supposed to be good angel activity pursuing a relationship with her by breadcrumbing the absolute fuck out of her, manipulating her like crazy and lying to her about practically everything and flirting with her under false pretenses after falling in love at the sight of her looking like a child with her lollipop on the school steps at 15 and then watching her cry in the bathroom mirror as he watches her from the bushes with a smile on his face and hope in his eyes and if you don’t understand that there is literally nothing I can do or say to help you

[jun-of-love]

gorgeous - kim mingyu

summary: you were never the one to enjoy parties, until you came across the gorgeous Kim Mingyu.

genre: romance (?)

trigger warning: extremely handsome dude, alcohol consumption

words: 1.5k

pairing: mingyu × yn

a/n: reputation is taylor's best album.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧  .✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧ 

“I should’ve just bailed out last minute.”

You think as you look at the flashing neon lights coming from the flat. You wondered how much retinal damage the lights could cause. Plus, it was full of people, who were most probably sweaty and horny. Should you report it to the police for disrupting covid regulations? That way you wouldn’t have to attend the party for valid reasons. Unfortunately, covid regulations were far gone, and even if they hadn’t, you were not that mean……yet. Your heels were already painfully digging into your feet and you were genuinely thinking of turning back and ghosting Yeri, right then she comes up to you, dragging you inside with her. Its done, you’ll have to stay here at least for an hour before you could leave. Fine, let’s do it, how bad can it get?, is what you think.

It indeed got very bad. Specifically when Yeri introduced you to the guys who had organized the party, the owners of this humongous flat- Lee Dokyeom, Jeon Wonwoo and……..Kim Mingyu.

Your breath probably got stuck in your throat the moment your eyes landed on the man. Was it the lighting of the party, or was there a literal halo above his head? Kim Mingyu looked so perfect, everything about him was just right- his face, his body, his smile, his laugh, his aura, and the way he carried himself. God was in fact real, and he has made this being with his own holy hands.

You never considered yourself to be one with rizz, and your interaction with Kim Mingyu proved you right. You refused to look at him for more than three seconds, opting to talk to anyone but him. Your heart threatened to jump out of your throat, making you clutch on your cup for your life. You befriended Karina, Jennie, and Joy- all of them looked like literal goddesses. Was there anyone here who represented the general population? It was probably you, you realized.

The group decided on playing beer pong, which you opted out of, because a) you didn’t want to drink ao early on and b) you didn’t know how the game goes. You only told the first reason though, to which Mingyu replied that he will drink for you (!!!) You only laughed awkwardly and brushed him off, hoping that you were subtle with the panic he caused in you. Zero points in the flirting department for you.

The game was interesting, mainly because it was played by hot people. You maintained the 3 second rule of looking at Mingyu, settling on cheering for Wonwoo instead. He was cute too, in a nerdy way. He was the kind of guy you would usually go for. He was also very built, under the plain black tee he wore, because he kept flexing his biceps, every time he landed a ball in the cup. So was Mingyu, to your happiness and dismay. Happiness because well, he was a work of art, and made you drool, dismay because you could only look at him for three seconds, and he was too good to be true. Mingyu’s team won (obviously) and you hugged the girls of the team and Dokyeom and decided to give a small thumbs-up to Mingyu (it was either that, or completely ignoring him. You were proud of your choice.)

You could’ve left by now, but unfortunately you were having fun, enough to down two drinks and agreeing to play a drinking game. You sat besides Wonwoo and Yeri, and noticed that Mingyu would sit between Jennie and Dokyeom, the way they had left a space for him. It made you feel weird for some reason, but you wouldn’t blame him- Jennie was beautiful and charming, and if you could, you would like her too. Mingyu rushed towards the group with blankets in his hands, dropping one in each girl’s lap, and sat like it was nothing to him. It was nothing big, just a kind gesture- but it made you breathless in a way that you prayed that your nostrils don’t flare up as you make up for the loss of air in you. He was handsome as well as thoughtful, how unfortunate for you.

The game consisted of a stack of cards and everybody had to take turns picking up cards. It would either be a truth or a dare- classic high school dumbassery but slightly unique (?) It was quite fun, especially when Yeri called up her 9th grade Math teacher who she had a crush on (why did she have his number, you’d never know) or when Dokyeom put up a picture of his armpit on his story for an hour. It was Mingyu’s chance and his card asked if he was committed or single- and to do a stripper dance if the latter.

“please be dating please be dating please be dating please be dating please be dating please be dating” you muttered because all of this would become very easy for you if he was dating someone. You wouldn’t have to see him flex his body and worry about drool on your mouth. Also, you were a person with morals, you would never steal someone’s man- and the thought of someone being committed removes any and all attraction you have towards him. Kim Mingyu having a girlfriend was the best possible outcome.

“I guess I have to give a show then.” Mingyu smirked, removing his shirt with one hand in a go. The girls squealed, the guys hooted and all you could think of was how long the chorus of the song ‘Unholy’ was because you couldn’t physically handle it. You covered your eyes involuntarily and chose to look through the gaps between your fingers because you were not strong enough to miss the show either.

You winced as Mingyu ran his hands on his chiseled abs and grabbed his muscular, perfect thigh. His facial expressions were sultry, he was acting as if this was paying his rent. You were probably delusional, but it felt as if he looked at you too much during his performance. Maybe its because you were acting like Virgin Mary, but it still made you flustered.

Thankfully, the guys pulled him away as he was about the grind on the floor, god knows what would’ve happened to you then. In this commotion, Wonwoo ended up sitting next to Mingyu, and you next to Dokyeom. You were quite drunk by this time, and it was your chance to pick the card again.

“Kiss the most attractive man in the room.”

Your luck was in your favour or not, you couldn’t really decipher. The answer to the dare was obvious to you, probably to everyone else as well. You shifted in Mingyu’s direction, slowly because you were drunk enough to enjoy the attention on you, and the look of anticipation on Mingyu. Maybe you backed off, or maybe this was planned by you, your thought process was a little hazy, but you turned your head away from Mingyu and kissed Wonwoo instead. Your friends cheered, Yeri damn near losing her mind screaming. You held on his biceps, and he deepened the kiss, making a shiver go through your spine. You broke the kiss and smiled at him, returning to your seat. Jennie patted on your back, giggling cutely. You could see Mingyu completely flustered, and staring at you every now and then. Ha! You had avenged for all the awkwardness he had caused you this entire night. But if you had won, why couldn’t you stop wondering how much better a kiss with Mingyu would’ve been?

The screaming and hooting probably drained everyone’s energy, making people pass out like deflated balloons. You picked up Yeri, trying to wake her up enough to walk to the Uber. You held both of your purses and heels in one hand, and Yeri in the other. As you managed to put her in the cab and struggled to get inside, you heard a yell of your name. It was Mingyu?

“I thought you passed out.” You said, trying not to look at his shirtless form.

“I almost did, but I couldn’t just let you go.”

“Huh?”

“I thought we had something going on tonight.” He said shyly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“We did?” You asked incredulously. To you, it was just admiring his flawless form in a borderline creep, did he interpret it in a positive way?

“I hope you think so too, because I kind of fought off Wonwoo to ask you out.”

You would have thanked God if you weren’t an atheist. You were living your dream k-drama life with two incredibly hot men fighting over you. So, like every female lead ever, you choose the hotter man.

“Sure, Mingyu, I’ll go out with you. Text me the details later.”

For the first time tonight, Mingyu showed off his full smile, with his eyes scrunched up, showing off a little dimple near his nose.

Ah, you were so glad you didn't bail out.

[taduki]

The M6 w/ an MC that acts like a grandparent

Grandparent as in the, “you want a hard candy, baby?”, grandparent who thinks every living being is their grandchild. This post has been brought to you by the multiple people who tell me I have grandma rizz. (I put so much love into this, it took me like 4 nights to write — goodbye forever).

Asra

Your mannerisms are slowly but surely rubbing off on them.

If you carry around hard candies and sweeties, Asra 100% enables it by asking if they can have some. They will also buy exotic sweets from their travels for your collection, though the children might not like them.

Y’all are ROCKING the grandparent look !! Crocheted cardigans and flower-patterned shirts in every color of the rainbow are hanging around the bedroom(s) because I KNOW Asra don’t got space in their closet. They probably utilize the Magician’s Realm as a secondary closet to be honest.

Speaking of crocheting, Asra gets a great idea going with the grandparent image and decides to take up either a crocheting or knitting class. The respective instructor may or may not have fainted upon seeing one of their patterns…

Asra finds customers with children much easier to handle with your added patience and patented jar of caramels on the counter.

You want to kill Azz? Fix the buttons on their top like how the wife in Pixar’s “Up” fixes her husband’s tie.

When they had to reteach you how to do daily things again, they thought, in their own guilty conscience, that this was some way of repaying the favor to you. All of the favors. All of your love to everyone.

Julian

He’s used to being the charming one!!

Though, you leave him lots of room for his signature drama and flair, so he warms up to it after a bit.

He wasn’t as easily charmed by your demeanor as the average person was at first. He thought of you as a little lamb in the streets. He could swear you would be the biggest target for getting pickpocketed in the Red Market, but damn you are CAPABLE!!

Madly in love with your capabilities, magic or not. Takes him a bit to get used to your overflowing sweetness (and pocket sweeties), but finds he is also madly in love with those too.

You are like his pocket Mazelinka, and it horrifies him to no end. At least you don’t spike his soup with sleeping potion…

You force him to bedtime and he isn’t up for it until you read him bedtime stories and sing lullabies. He is definitely embarrassed... He’s like, “I’d never fall asleep to MC’s bedtime singing and stories! ZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZzzz”.

Portia

You two are the world’s best grandparents.

Unlike Asra, Portia pursued crocheting/knitting and never stopped. Though she can be busy, she enjoys it as a hobby as has you to thank for it!! (As you stand there confused why she’s thanking you for it).

She didn’t mean any harm by it!! She just wanted to try new things and you happened to be an “inspiration”.

You two have interactions like The Golden Girls. Zero elaboration.

One of the books she read while teaching herself to read was The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. She quotes many things from the book during her work life, but her favorite quote has become, “Every little thing wants to be loved”, before booping yours or Pepi’s nose.

She says it constantly and you’re starting to think it’s just her way of saying you’re cute and she loves you.

But the truth is that and she just loves the way YOU love things. The way you squish Pepi’s face in your hands and sing/talk to the flowers are just a few examples.

Nadia

She might actually tear up.

Could you possibly get more endearing?

To her, you’re the entire package. You’re a blessing in a bundle. You’re strong enough to beat the Devil and sweet enough to cream butter. If she wasn’t so refined and kept, she’d be kicking her feet and rolling around on her bed.

Alas, she knows many other ways to exert her love for you. What? No, she wasn’t going to spoil you with rich delights! — as she inconspicuously waves a hand behind her back to hide the palace tailors in the hall…

Nadia is very well aware of her many duties and obligations, but she knows to leave a generous amount of time for you. After a rushed, exhaustive day of hard work, Nadia gracefully lays her head in your lap and lets you coddle her. She will accept your head pats, listen to the most storybook-like day you’ve had, and talk about her troubles. All the while, you tell her allllll of the things she should do like more frequent breaks and standing up and saying no when she simply cannot do something even though she already knows.

But she loves it. She loves your care, the little things you do around the palace that make her think of you. You recommended the gardeners sing and talk to the plants and she was delighted to hear it made a difference, but every flower in that garden paled in comparison to you. She believes you are Mother/Father Nature.

She frequently has you accompany her during dignitary meetings, etc. as her magician consultant, and as such, you take no “hoot-a-nanny” nor “monkey business”. (Nadia has never had to hold her laughter in this hard). She regains her composure quickly though, and soon discovers many visitors find you very charming and welcoming. She finds this to be a strategic play in negotiations, so she invites you to meetings more often, definitely not because she just wants to see you more…

Muriel

He too thinks it’s the cutest thing ever.

You tend to feed Inanna many treats because she's just such a good girl!! Muriel gently tries to tell you when she's had enough, but Inanna seems to be starving even after his generously suggested amount…

You could paint his face bright red by pinching his cheeks and calling him something cute like sugar or honey or, god forbid, pudding pie.

You went to help him out with the chickens one early morning and apparently one of the chicks was sick and she wasn’t eating enough. So after Muriel was done checking up on her, you bent down and gave her a nice little lecture how she’ll grow nice and strong after she eats. And Muriel DIED.

He firmly believes the chicks are your grandchildren now because they love you back. (Their cheep cheeps are full of love, he insists).

A good half of Vesuvia are your grandchildren now too. You guys are hero grandparents, I don’t make the rules.

Amongst the minimal duties of being hero grandparents, one of them includes having a baking morning and going to the docks in town to call the children over and hand fresh food out later in the day. The kids call him every unflattering name from Peepaw to Gramps, but he assures you he doesn’t mind at all.

Lucio

He finds you so endearing and sickeningly sweet, he can’t handle it.

He dies from the granny pet names too. He acts like they’re regular pet names, but he expected stuff like babe or darling, not butterscotch pumpkin puffball...

He’s met his fair share of old folks at the snooziest diplomat parties, and even though he’s got that worry in the back of his head that he’s getting older and older too, he’s finding it easier to go through it with you.

He enjoys if you sing him old folk songs, some he may have never heard of. (HUGE bonus if he dances with you to your singing).

It is THE most entertaining thing to him when you’re mad at someone. You wave a stern finger at them and lecture them like you’re their parent. It could literally be the most buff, drunk, muscly regular at the bar and you’d scold them ‘til they’ve recoiled back into their seat, and Lucio, of course, brags about it to the world. “Why use magic when you could’ve just scolded the Devil into submission, MC??”

As you two go through each passing day, he appreciates your slow and caring nature more and more. He’s begun to appreciate the little things like the rise and fall of Mercedes and Melchior’s stomachs during their afternoon naps.

If you knew him years ago, he would’ve thought you were strange and not worthy of his time, but now he quite enjoys your mannerisms and spending time with you.

[kalliyen]

Hii I saw your scaramouche streamer and I really liked it! Can I request a kazuha streamer fluff?

My No. 1 ❤️

Pairing: Streamer!Kaedehara Kazuha x GN!Reader

Featuring: Kaedehara Kazuha, Xiao & Shikanoin Heizou

Genre: Modern AU, Mutual pinning (their both down bad frfr), Extremely fluffy

Summary: being a big fan of one of your classmates who happens to be a streamer (and your crush) appears to have both its up’s and downs

Reader’s Pronouns: They/Them

Warning: probably cringe dude i haven’t written in so long

Disclaimer: ⚠️ ONLY A WORK OF FICTION!

When you found out your favorite streamer would be your classmate for your classic literature class in high school, you were both nervous and ecstatic.

Of course, you didn’t tell the man himself you were a big fan of his face work, but it didn’t matter.

You decided to get close to him cause why the heck not, am I right? Kazuha seemed like a very sweet guy in his streams so that must correlate into real life, no?

Well it did. And soon after you found yourself falling for the man more and more, not that you didn’t have a crush on him already watching his streams, you already admired him then but the infatuation just seemed to grow the by the minute.

Kazuha felt the same about you, he thought you were a very charming, attractive and helpful person. He wanted to make a move, but didn’t know how cause his friend, Xiao, a fellow streamer, insists that he has ‘Zero rizz’, which his fans beg to differ.

How was he going to ask you out?

Apparently in Kazuha’s big smooth brain, asking his chat was a good idea on how to get the person he likes.

If only he knew he already had you wrapped around his finger.

Without fail, you were watching the stream, because heaven forbid you miss one, it would actually crush your soul not to look at his beautiful face. (though you stare at him in class, he pretends not to noice but def does, shhh)

You have to admit, you were feeling a bit jealous who could this mystery person he’s been pinning on be, but you thought it be best not to pry into his private life like a good viewer.

One chatter decided to ask Kazuha to described what they look like to them, and Kazuha was more than happy to indulge his fans.

“Well…they have [e/c] eyes that I could get lost into for hours, soft hands that I brushed into once and swear I wanted to hold them forever, and a smile that just melts my heart….” he says with a dreamy sigh at the end.

His chat audibly cringes at how love sick he’s being right now, and even his friends Heizou and Xiao who were with him audibly made faces in disgust.

“What a loser, get outta here lover boy!” Heizou said with a grimace, while Xiao was still making faces of disgust, going as far as doing a fake vomit.

You could only smile to yourself, sure your felt your heart strings tug a bit but you were happy that Kazuha was happy. And that’s all that mattered to you.

Kazuha rolled his eyes which landed on his chat, and he read one message that said “You should probably tell them how you feel, you never know if they like you back until you try!”

He softly smiled and the chatter, thankful that they gave actual advice and not just mocked him into an oblivion.

Who could that faithful chatter be?

Kazuha decided to shoot his shot the next day, that’s how you know he meant business.

He planned it all out in his head last night, how he was gonna romantically tell you his feelings after classes, walk you home and maybe, if he’s lucky, a kiss or two will get involved.

Apparently that day, luck was not on his side. Or so he thought.

The whole day you were extremely busy, even in the classes you shared together you barely had the chance to talk to him, much less had the chance to romantically confess to you.

Truth is, you purposely kept yourself busy, looking at him just made your heart ache, you know that you had no business in his private life, but you couldn’t help but feel a little tug at your heart when you know the person he’s been pinning over couldn’t be you.

Eventually, Kazuha got tired of this cat and mouse game and decided to tell you head on how you made him feel. Whether you were busy or not.

Apparently he thought the time to confess with you was when you were both alone, in the classroom….cleaning.

You tried to get your work finished and over with so you don’t have to stay in his presence any longer, but he just found ways to keep you there with him.

You finally acknowledged his presence when he wouldn’t stop bumping his broom with yours.

“What is it Kazuha? I’m trying to finish my work here.” You say, a little irked at the man.

Now or never, Kazuha thought.

“Y/N, I want to tell you how i feel about you, specifically…You make me feel things i’ve never felt before, and you make my stomach erupt into a bunch of butterflies. What i’m trying to say is that…I really like you, and your personality…would you,,,,like to go out with me sometime?”

You stood there, stunned, he? liked you? you were the one he was talking about in his stream?

Kazuha took your silence as a bad sign and apologized, head tilted down in disappointment. You were quick to cup his cheeks and assure him that you like him as well, you were just surprised is all.

“Surprised? Why would you be surprised?” He asked confusedly blinking up at you through his long lashes.

“I didn’t expect the person you were taking about in your stream yesterday was me…” You said a sheepish look on your face.

That definitely caught the man’s attention, immediately looking up at you, face getting even redder if that was possible.

“Y-you, watch my streams?” “Yeah I really enjoy them! I guess I’m your No. 1 fan huh?”

“My No.1 fan huh…I like the sound of that..” He says, cupping your cheeks this time, confidence seeping into him.

He gave you a peck on the cheek, a peck on the forehead, and then a peck on the lips.

He was glad he took that chatters advice and shoot his shot.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

SORRY I PASSED OUT FOR LIKE THE LAST TWO DAYS SHSHSKKSKS I’ve got a lot to catch up on now oops

Ok but just finished watching OMGGGGG lowk the animation wasn’t bad and omg TABIEITAKEN stop they looked soooo goood also the ADDITIONAL TIME the animation actually looks a lot more well done than last season?? Like fs not as crusty which is nice but also we manifested tabieitaryu omg it’s real what will we predict next yuki also being the one to take one for the team and room with Rin has me crying

No exactly yukis team ready to fight anyone who dares to even throw him a side eye for doing contests instead of battles also wait the sibling (sorta) angst yayoi looking after Hiori and karasus like “I’m your REAL brother???? HELLO????” And her giving Hiori the ducklett imagine Karasu originally didn’t care for it but the fact that she’s redirecting it towards Hiori has him tweaking

OTOYA IS HYDREIGONS FATHER LMAOOO i can imagine it also hypes him up when he tries rizzing up girls but also subtly throws hints for him to try and rizz up reader every other pokemon steering clear from altaria because they don’t wanna have beef and get their shit rocked by hydreigon is also too funny

LMAOOOOOOO wait that’s too good ampharos desperately pointing to the stone mid battle and otoyas like “ok we get it your accessory is cute wtv bro get back to slapping the opponent???”

AHAHAH I keep forgetting that like half the requests for your event are opps LMAOO also so real for that that’s literally me whenever I have to do anything productive too but OOO KARASU COMEBACK SOON

AHDHSSJAJ dw I bet you were serving fr in that pic your life fr could be a kdrama/sitcom if its own with all these encounters you have

- Karasu anon

LMAOAOAO NO WORRIES i hope you enjoyed your touching grass era too!! can’t believe we even managed to sync those up 😭

YESSSS WE PREDICTED IT truly our manifestation powers know no bounds!! and agreed i think the ep looked really good and the animation was fine to me!! i’m happy with how it all turned out anyways 🤩 and the additional time had me giggling it also felt longer than the ones last season???? so i’m hoping that means they’ll all be a bit more involved…also omg tabieitaken all looked so good i’m fr entering a yuki phase though like HEAVY guys could this be the start of yukimira ⁉️

YEAHH sibling angst because we already know karasu has an inferiority complex and yayoi just makes it worse by “preferring” hiori at least in his eyes meanwhile he actually rejected the ducklett and told her to just release it hence why she gave it to hiori LMAOAAO he’s kind of dramatic and it doesn’t help that (if i go with the bfb characterization of her) yayoi is just as bad with emotions and vulnerability as he is so there’s zero emotional communication there 😭

PLSSS OTOYA THE FATHER WHO STEPPED UP FR 🤩 karasu is probably heartbroken because he actually put way more work into helping care for deino when it was a baby (since he’s experienced with problematic baby pokémon thanks to yayoi) but hydreigon just LOVES otoya and follows him everywhere when it can’t find reader 😫 please it would one hundred percent be a otoya x reader shipper i bet it fights with aegislash about it CONSTANTLY (houndoom has to mediate) (she is a karasu x reader shipper but she knows it will never happen 😔💔) i actually think the thought of the pokémon shipping their trainers is HILARIOUS i think garchomp is also a karasu x reader shipper, arcanine and reuniclus are also nagi x reader shippers, yukimiya’s breloom and alakazam as well as reader’s galvantula are yuki x reader shippers, and reo’s gallade + tullia’s lilligant are tullireo shippers (in contrast to tullia’s vivillon who is a tulligiri shipper because she finds his hair to resemble flowers)

OBLIVIOUS OTOYA MY BELOVED one hundred percent he’s just like okay cool story buddy idek where tf you found that can you just use thunderbolt or smth?? and then aiku randomly pulls up and is like oh yeah that’s a mega stone…also if you want there’s this girl i know who’s single 👀 bro is ALWAYS on that oaeu grind icl when he showed up in ep one i was so hype it felt like seeing my bff or smth like LET’S GOOO IT’S JAPANESE SOCCER’S NUMBER ONE WINGMAN ❤️‍🔥‼️

i’ve been SO unproductive it’s so bad i was thinking to myself that i’d write this weekend and then i binge watched 911 (the one with angela bassett) with my mom instead LFHSJJSSH but yeah i’ve been getting opp fans out the wazoo as of late bro so many sae fans…also oddly enough a lot of otoya traction on his bfb?? not that he’s an opp but just funny to me ig ep one converted people to him faster than expected (KARASU NEXT PLEASE)

LMAOOO there’s so many things about me and my life that just feel made up tbh 😭 it’s an extensive list too sometimes i mull it over and i’m like wow i AM y/n but instead of appreciating my y/n life i am chronically online posting about my beloved animated men 😓

[beardedhandstoadshark]

Just beat Fire Emblem Blazing Blade kinda Deathless (after only playing FEH and Fates before)

LOBSTER LORD IS OUT GREAT LORD IS IN HECTOR MY MAN MY GUY MY MVP

Like 40 people worked on this game. Most things were made by 2 people max. The translator list is longer than any of the other categories. Wth

Main Trio, your honor I love them. It is VERY rare for me to care about main characters of a game but these guys man

Which is also very evil because I know this game is a prequel to Blazing Blade and looking at the versions of Hector I have in FEH I‘m like 95% sure this man kicked the bucket. Rip King

Given that the amount of main character dads I’ve seen survive till the end so far is a total of zero, and looking at the versions of Elliwood I have in FEH I‘m like 60% sure he’s also gonna kick the bucket. Rip King

Elliwood Hector Support B is the funniest thing in this entire game. Support A is the most evil thing in this entire game if those 95% are right ;-;

Meanwhile Lyn casually quit her job dumped it on Hector and went back to live in the plains. Good for her tbh, Long Live the Queen

I do love how Lyn and Hector went from not liking each other to being basically gremlins around each other. Character development lol

The support system is kinda whack ngl, it takes 80 points per level and even the closest characters only grow 3 each turn. I did most chapters in around 10-15 rounds, had to grind for 70 turns in a chapter just to get any supports

Eliwood‘s other stats might suck but at least his rizz is maxed out it seems

The romance really ain’t hitting it if you already got that A support bromance and B support to complete the Main Gang Trio

Hey Rebecca doesn’t look like she wants to devour my soul anymore! Nice

Where did the horse come from. Whose horse did the Heaven Seal steal. Is the horse magic. What

Something about noted redhead Eliwood‘s ancestor having Marth-blue hair just feels very very wrong

I don’t even go here but. Old men Yaoi. Perhaps Ancient men yaoi, even

Whenever a character tells you that you should let them talk to someone and maybe they’ll stop to fight, it works. Since the beginning of the game, and even with characters who wanted to see you dead chapters before. And then it doesn’t.

I had to load a save state because Nino died that very same move.

Ouch. Very good scene for character showing. But ouch.

When you defeat the final chapter main enemies they gain color back and smile before closing their eyes and despawning. Stoooop T-T

I didn’t take Nino into that battle because wow she’s underleveled but. I bet there would’ve been extra dialogue if she kills a certain 2 guys. Or there should’ve been if there isn’t.

How those particular enemies were made + the permanent death mechanic = some PRIME source for angst. Bonus points if it’s one of the characters who get special reactions from other folks when they die, like Rath or Markus

Are we sure FEH Rebecca isn’t actually a Morph of the original person out for Summoner‘s quintessence. It would explain her eyes

You can’t just give pirate guy a quiet scene promising his captain to come back save only to then say in the after credits he probably died protecting him and no way to get the body. What the heck Intelligent systems

They’re OLD oh wow that color looks really bad on Eliwood. I can see why they slapped Roy’s palette on him. Though now it kinda reads like Eliwood‘s got his main character rights revoked lmao

BABY ROY. PRECIOUS BEAN GOT EVEN PRECIOUSER

SCREW YOU ZEPHIEL HECTOR KILLED LIKE 15 PEOPLE TO SAVE YOUR SORRY BUTT AND THIS IS (with a 95% likelihood) THE THANKS ;-;

Hector ily but I am NOT replaying 17 chapters that I all already played with you just because chapter 11 is apparently unique

And once again the titular item is barely present for a single chapter or two in this entire game only to justify said title lmao

Why does this thing keep changing locations anyways. And it’s always near the places where apocalypses involving dragons happen. Y’all maybe the Fire Emblem is cursed

Tldr good game very fun

[slamdunkhcs]

hi i got this idea after discussing with my friend and i think its cute to imagine the boys walking their boo home after a date

slam dunk boys walking their s/o home

Kiyota

Deadass, this boy’s hands would be so sweaty. He’d get hella nervous while holding your hand and he’d hope that you wouldn’t notice.

Kiyota wants to kiss you before dropping you off, and he’s thinking of how to initiate it the whole walk home.

He would try impressing you by doing goofy things, he would be saying practically every joke he can think of. Kiyota would really wanna see you laugh and smile

Kiyota seems like the type of dude who’d tell funny stories from his childhood and he’d really want to share more about his life and watch you listen. I think he’d be randomly spouting stuff he remembers

If he notices that you seem cold or something, he’d definitely give you his hoodie. Dude wouldn’t even want you to give it back, and I think he’d say something like “What kind of guy would i be if i didnt do that for my girl?” TO TRY AND MAKE YOU SWOON (and it’d work <3)

When the two of you get closer and closer to your home, he gets really fidgety and nervous since he still didn’t kiss you. But before he drops you off at home, he finally leans in and gives you a quick kiss. Kiyota would be really impressed with himself and he’d think about it on his walk home.

Miyagi

Ong this boy is PLOTTING to have you wooing by the time he drops you off at home

He has one hand around your waist, and the other one holding your hand. Ryota would be saying HELLA compliments to rizz you up and make you feel flustered

I feel like he’d wanna walk slowly, so he can spend as much time with you as possible. He would notice the sun setting and stop for a little bit to gaze at it with you

He would definitely stop at any cool looking places if it meant going in and spending time with you. But, he’d end up dropping you off late 💀

Ryota gives you a smooch before leaving, he’d try avoiding getting yelled at by your parents for dropping you off at such a late time 💀

Sawakita

I just KNOW this boy was out here asking his homies for advice on everything that goes on during a date, but he’d be stumped since they didn’t really tell him how to act by the end of it

Sawakita acts natural and he would just figure that taking you home can’t be too bad, but he’s lowkey nervous

Boy would be dead quiet for a while, he doesn’t have much experience with girls, so he isn’t sure what to say. After some thinking, he’d say something like “hey, wanna watch practice tomorrow?” 💀💀💀 zero rizz activities

I feel like the conversation on the way back home would be about either basketball or his parents since that’s what he’s most comfortable talking about. At the same time though, he’d realize he was talking mostly about himself and try to ask you a few questions too

When Sawakita drops you off at home, he walks you to the doorstep and waves goodbye. Part of him wanted to hug or kiss you, but he was too hesitant. He would end up walking home feeling a bit disappointed in himself.

He’ll be telling his dad ALL the details

[toddmichaelrogers]

928 Days Later

This post originally appeared as an update across various social media for Spell Saga.

~pre Eh, ya’ll know I ramble. I don’t fucking like it when people who are too old use new language as if it’s their fucking language, but there is a tl:dr (god, I had to google that) at the bottom of the page if’n yer only interested in the sweet stuff (shipments, deck 2 & the like). But I like stories, and I am--if not old, getting older, so my stories take a long time to wind up and spill out. Longer than they did when I was a kid, anyhow. And much slower than these new youths and their dang emotiji’s or whatever.

all the kids’ talk in hieroglyphics It’s good for feelings but not specifics

~1 It all comes down to choices, really. I remember when I was younger--I was very newly 20, and barely 13 in most of my head--I remember I was homeless, not like, starving homeless (though sometimes I was) and not like, sleep under a bridge homeless (I had the couches of friends, and their friends, and my barely-met acquaintances, though no one seemed to own an air conditioner that Summer. One dude shall remain nameless, as I’m fairly certain he might be a super bad guy. He was never around anyway so I used to listen to his CD collections and spread my Star Wars figures around his house (13, remember, 13). I remember he had a box set of Joy Division, and I became obsessed with this one really fast version of “Love Will tear us Apart”. I used to listen to that in the Summer heat and walk around the house naked looking for something to eat. It was really years later that I realized I had lost my mind.

I had made the choice to stop taking my meds regularly. And then some other choices, as my mind spiraled without that ketracel-white. After what some would say was an alarming series of ordinarily dysfunctional life, my parents made the choice to kick me out. I have had to make a lot more choices since then.

here is a pic of me from around that time with original french toaster: Paxson of Ashgarden.

~2 Where are your fucking packages?

~3 I know that there are some people who keep in touch with me regularly and have a better idea of what’s been going on. And I also know there are others who backed this project 2 and a half years ago and think it’s dead, or i’ve been trolling everyone with shipping dates.

~4 I was at a restaurant. I was not a customer. I had just spent three days straight and about 30 hours running around mopping up drinks. By Sunday, I’m usually on my third double, and it hurts to stand, or run up the stairs with trays of food. (who puts stairs in a restaurant)? But I was feeling pretty good about myself, having made it through one more death sentence of a weekend. I took the job to pay for Spell Saga when some other stuff fell through (like, uh, all our plans, & people abandoning the project). Each Sunday usually ends with me depositing a wad of cash into an ATM and then passing out on my couch surrounded by boxes of a fantasy card game. It is not a bad life, if not a little embarrassing. Also this particular Sunday it was tornado weather and I got to watch an entire porch of rich people get fucking destroyed. I was soaked and running around collecting plates being thrown on the wind. Inside I sat down next to people my age, and before long it came time to tell them why I was serving them and not doing something with my life, which is what I always do if I like a table. As it came out, these people were super into games, and Kickstarter, and anything I could possibly like. I had a used deck in my car that I grabbed for them and they thanked me and told me I was doing great. It was a real moment for me. What was most important though, was the stories they told me about other crowdfunded projects, and how much keeping backers up-to-date mattered to them.

~5 Most of my choices about Spell Saga have been insane. Whether good, or bad (there have been both) the choices have been the work of a mad man. That goes for game design as well as business wise. I do not apologize for the game, but man I am fucking trying you guys. And you will have all your shit this year. But it’s taking forever and here’s where we’re at now:

In 2016 I made a plan with my main man J Rizzo to fund a shipment of 300 units, so all of you would get your shit before we finished with all the printing (there were delays due to packaging changes and etc).

Also that year, J Rizz* dropped off the face of the earth, as did most everyone involved with the project, due to various reasons. I took a second job or two and funded the shipment myself. They arrived in July of that year.

*J Rizz and I are cool. We had a very long talk recently that lifetime asked if they could film.

here is a pic of me & paxson of ashgarden & his son! (we are cool too)

I started sending packages out almost immediately, but I had to wait on the mail myself (autographed boxes take some damn time). By the end of the year everything was going smoothly and every. Single. Package. was about to go out by December 31st. What a fucking relief that was.

Then I lost two jobs in a month, and so did my wife. That was around the time the comments started to crop up, “where is my shit” and etc. Which I get. I mean, I don’t leave comments like that, but I get why someone would.

I scrambled and pulled together jobs and money and started sending out packages again. But now there was a problem: It was 2017 and we needed to start thinking about our patient, angelic manufacturer. Right now, they are waiting for us to upload the art to print Deck 2 and pay the deposit on it. Panda Games has been amazing with us. And I’m not saying that I’m paying for everything by working a restaurant--I have other sources of income for this project. But I am putting most of my personal funds towards it this month, just to get it finished quickly.

So in the last month I had to make another choice, in a long line of choices, and not send as many packages out. Everyone in the US who pledged over $25 should have their shit. I sent out a few Internationals, but not many. My ever-shifting goal is that by July everyone has their stuff. But again, I’ve lost two jobs before--shit happens. I used to not want to leave ANY updates because I didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up. I think looking back that was a bad choice. It was probably also a bad choice to air ship any units over here. The cost alone would have covered the printing of Deck 2. But I like all’a you. Even if you leave a mean comment every once in awhile. And I want everyone to have their stuff. Most of my e n t i r e life revolves around it right now.

~6 More choices have been made since the last update. We are printing new packaging for deck 1 and the prelude deck (which means everyone will at least have a fancy zero edition package from those we air-shipped last July--only 301 ever made)! We are also printing deck 2 AND it has it’s very own super-cool holofoil sleeve. But that’s not even the most exciting shit for me.

Cousin Lauren and I are finishing it up. That’s right. It’s happening. She is illustrating a picture for the front of deck 2’s box (I have been dreaming for years it would match the minstrel/lover pic we use on deck 1) and then she’s illustrating a picture for deck 3’s box.

We aren’t printing deck 3 at the moment. But it’s going to happen. So in the meantime, she’ll be spending the next month getting all the art for deck 3 and the ending finished (as soon as I finish writing her an art list).

And THAT’S NOT ALL. Lauren is going to be working on the art for the a new realmwalker deck you may remember called The Discordant Shore. It is the deck that includes copies of all the homemade Paladin Cards you will be receiving this year.

I don’t want to get too into details on this one just yet, but you play as a girl named Brell, who is also named Scaradh. And it’s an adventure so unlike the highlands you will be surprised at where it takes you. Here is a pic of some character descriptions I sent Lauren:

~7 When I’m not trying to NOT vomit because I am cleaning up a table, or worrying about you, or reading wonderful or disparaging comments in between cleaning up tables and worrying, I have been very hard at work on the next Spell Saga release: 1.5 The Under Sky. This DECK is like 2 games in one. You can use it between decks one and two, or use it as a new deck one. The design of this thing has destroyed me. I had to Photoshop the cards as I was making it because the ideas became so complex. It’s all about The Last Minstrel, but it’s also about how this process of making the game has been. Everything has taken so long, and a part of me is sort of dead inside. But I think maybe that part was supposed to die. In it’s place I have found a new type of strength to make things no matter what.

~8 This December is the 8th anniversary of when I first designed Spell Saga. In my head, there is a sort of countdown clock (198 days as of this posting). When the clock in my head strikes zero, my plan is that everyone will have everything. every. Thing. And then I’ll never work in a restaurant again.

~epi Spell Saga continues to dominate my life. As do other things. My band just finished recording everything except the vocals on our first LP, another project that took longer than expected. And I wake up nearly every morning and try to spend at least an hour working on The Novel that has consumed a decade of my life. My plan is that once everyone has their shit, I will pay to have decks 3 and the ending printed, and then we will Kickstart them to recover costs and make sure everyone who wants one sees it. I don’t give a shit about money. I don’t care if I ever make a goddamn cent on this game. It’s all going to end up going back into it anyway. Ii just want to finish the story. And now we can. I hope, regardless of how you feel or think about me, you will want to finish it to.

-mE. 913 days since the kickstarter started.

TL:DR

-packages still going out -no you have not missed yours -deck 2 the forest being printed with holofoil sleeve -deck 3 the caves being illustrated / finished -deck 4 the ending being illustrated / finished -deck 1.5 the under sky nearly finished -realkwalker ~ the discordant shore being illustrated / finished -paladin level cards part of discordant shore -everyone will have everything this year -most will have everything by july -life is hard but good