#I would be the slightly pathetic blond himbo friend who makes mistakes but ultimately means well

[pastelaspirations]

I m a g i n e. Picture it.

You're a gunslinger. Have been for a long time. Your reputation proceeds you. Sometimes, that's a good thing. Other times, it's your worst enemy. People either sing your praises and cheer as you walk down the street, or you are constantly looking over your shoulder for the malevolent gazes watching you from the dark. There's no in between. One day, you find yourself at a bar. A rundown bar within a dusty town that seems presumably empty, but you can feel the hostility oozing from every dark corner like a bad omen. You try to ignore it, settling down and ordering a shot of your favorite whiskey. You tell yourself to keep your cool, to act as unsuspecting as possible... but to keep a hand poised near your gun at all times. The bar's swing doors slam open. You glance over your shoulder, raising an eyebrow from under the brow of your dark hat. There stands a red panda; so small, it seems like a bad joke. She is wearing clothes reminiscent to yours, but they're too big for her. It's like she borrowed an older sibling's clothes and then strolled out into town, intent on playing with the big kids.

You don't move, just silently watch this red panda clomp into the bar, heading directly toward you. You don't have anything to say; although, at this point, you questioned if you could even come up with something to say.

The red panda struggles and climbs up the stool, excessively grunting and taking far longer than was comfortable to achieve the action. Once she was finally done, she turns to you, slapping an arm on the bar and asks with the most strained, unhinged laughter you have ever heard in your 45 years of life,

"So. Mouthwashing, am I right-?"

I'm s o r r y. This is all my long, unhinged way to say "I wrote a Mouthwashing fix-it fic in the span of a day and half and wanted to tell you guys, but in the most cursed way possible"

Why did I write this cursed lil ramble to say something which could have easily been said in one sentence??

I don't know.

I'm just showing you guys my weird, niche ability to write really cursed stuff but with such misleading language, you can be tricked into thinking I'm n o t writing an elaborate shit post.

I am obsessed with Mouthwashing, man. I relate to Curly so much, so I wrote a one shot where he actually got it right-

Fun fact; writing this fic, I discovered something about myself.

I really like sort of pathetic, blond himbo men who make mistakes, but ultimately mean well and have a heart of gold.

First, it was Asgore, my beloved. <3 Now, Curly has joined him. Something is wrong with me.

W A I T, C R A P. I JUST REALIZED. IN STARDEW, THE PERSON I LATCH ONTO THE MOST IS SAM. HE'S NOT A MIDDLE-AGED, SCRUNKLY MAN LIKE ASGORE OR CURLY YET, BUT HE'S LIKE. THE BABY VERSION. GOD, HELP ME, I AM REALIZING TERRIBLE THINGS ABOUT MYSELF-