#I won't get into detail but I have a bit of trauma regarding labels and identity--it's why those anons I got last year were so distressing

[throughpatchesofviolet]

I've been doing a lot of thinking, lately, and I ended up reflecting on my identity a bit, yesterday--mainly through Sherry, since she's my conduit for self exploration and reflection, but specifically in a situation where she's trying to explain herself to Heathcliff.

Specifically, I was thinking about how I experience romantic attraction, and how Sherry--even just based on her source material--is very much some flavor of aromantic and asexual. I don't really use any labels, and neither does she, but that's because I have had negative experiences with them.

Anyway, something about Sherry trying to explain to Heathcliff that she doesn't really feel romantic love is very cathartic to me. I project onto her a lot, so she's maybe had an inkling of romantic attraction once or thrice (one of her little crushes was Hubert, to keep it in line with my canon lore), but it's never gone anywhere, and usually fades pretty quickly.

I feel Heathcliff wouldn't really understand what she means--he'd have a hard time wrapping his head around someone not feeling (romantic) love, especially since he's known that feeling pretty much all his life--but he'd also be the first to defend her from anyone who thinks her lack of interest in romance is "weird." Even if he doesn't completely understand her feelings, he cares about Sherry, and he knows how it feels to be treated differently because of who he is, so why wouldn't he stick up for her?

Like I said above, Sherry doesn't use labels--she simply knows romance isn't something she needs to be satisfied with herself. Yes, she may eventually find someone she feels genuine, long-lasting romantic attraction towards (Heathcliff--much, much later on), but she's come to terms with the fact that, if she doesn't, she'll be okay on her own.