#I won't disclose who they are because I like to pretend that at least someone cares lmao

[marseongwhat]

guess what? ya girl joined 5 collabs and will finally have contents here after being here for a year and a half already!!!

I don't know if I have some readers that support the ones I've written on my main, but please look forward to all of them 'cuz I'll do my very best to write them~~

wait for:

an enhypen fic for the member who is richer than I will ever be, is a former bighit trainee that hates bugs

a txt fic for one of their tallest member

the boyz for a member that's part of a trio

a halloween fic this month for an nct memeber who sings the high notes of their songs and is in dream

my main & writing acc (ig..) is @jung-breadshop, you can read it there when it's available (follow me because I will finally write lmao)!!!

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

If Edward either left or returned later and came back after Rosalie was already turned - would it change their relationship to each other? Would Edward stay with them or go off to kill rapists again?

Oh, that is diabolically awful.

The Backdrop

Edward leaves in righteous fury because Carlisle's diet is stupid and he's stupid and Edward's going to drink the great elixer of life while ridding the world of villainy! What about that, Carlisle?!

Within four years, Edward discovers his life is meaningless, he's a monster desperately trying to justify himself to no one, he has no companionship nor greater ideals, and he's just a pile of murderous sad who isn't the man he wanted to be.

It gets worse when, to his shame and horror, he tries to go off the diet on his own so he can at least return with gold eyes/pretend he wasn't actually eating people that long if at all and discovers that he can't do it. He cannot get back on the diet on his own without a support structure.

He has to return, eyes blazing red, and hope to god they don't throw him out as they have every right to do after what he's said and what he's done for years.

In canon, to his infinite joy and relief, Esme and Carlisle said nothing and accepted him back with open arms and got him on the diet again.

In this world, well, there's Rosalie Hale.

Edward Comes Back

He finds out, to his shock, Carlisle's turned someone else.

Now, he was there for Carlisle turning Esme, but he figured that was an exception. He was in love with Esme for all he had no idea and they clearly belonged together. Of course, he turned her.

Rosalie though doesn't have that excuse. Her ending was horrifically sad, of course, tragic and terrible but that doesn't mean she should be turned.

The only one that Carlisle should have been turning like that is Edward himself. Because Edward's the one that's important.

Unlike canon, Edward can't even point to himself as the ultimate reason, of Carlisle wanting to make Edward a bride, because Edward wasn't there and showed no signs of returning.

Rosalie seems to only know him as Carlisle's previous creation who ran away for reasons Carlisle won't disclose. Rosalie figured out pretty fast though that Edward wanted to eat people and thinks Edward is a murderous piece of shit with no morals.

(Edward is horrified because fuck, she's right. Rosalie is thinking everything that's true that Edward never ever wanted anyone to think about him.)

Worse, Edward quickly learns that Rosalie has superb control, better than his. She killed her rapists, yet, but didn't drink a drop of their blood (unlike Edward who ate all the rapists purely for their blood). Her revenge was personal, clean, and she has never wavered since and shows no signs of wanting to go and eat people.

Beautiful Rosalie is a better child than Edward ever was.

And here's Edward, like a returning alcoholic son, begging his family to take him back in and looking so weak in Rosalie's eyes.

What Happens?

I imagine Edward can't stand the shame and humiliation of it. He despises Rosalie but truly despises himself, he believes his family secretly resents him for having the nerve to return and sees him as the child no one wants.

Not helping is that Rosalie proves to be very smart when she and Edward attend university. She's smart, charming, beautiful, ambitious, and though Edward consoles himself that she's a vain shrew on the inside she looks perfect on the outside while Edward just looks like... Edward on the outside.

SHE EVEN PLAYS THE FUCKING PIANO.

Not helping is that Edward will say things like "Carlisle loves me more" to Rosalie and she'll just stare then point out he's a piece of shit who left to eat drunkards for four years and pretend to feel good about himself.

"OH YEAH, WELL, YOU'RE VAIN!"

When Rosalie carries home, by herself, at a very young age, the bleeding out Emmett without drinking a drop of blood and asking Carlisle for assistance--

I imagine Edward loses his shit.

He can't stay.

He can't stay in this perfect family, perfect for each other, with perfect Rosalie as their perfect daughter. Edward can't be the loser of the family, he can't.

I EMBRACE MY DEMONS! Edward says, fleeing out into the night, and returns to eating humans with reckless abandon. I imagine he quickly falls off the "I shall eat only evildoers diet" as he admitted to himself that was to only make him feel better and he's a monster now.

[softened-hearts]

the hostility i see towards celebrities (namely harry styles is who i see it about most often lately) for like..... being even remotely gnc but not disclosing identity labels, is, really uncomfortable to say the least. being gnc is treated as an ulterior motive. "oh i know hes faking for attention. if he were actually queer he would absolutely milk it lol" actually no you don't. no you don't no you don't it's not your fucking business. being openly queer isn't the death sentence for that kind of career like it used to be, but there are still a million different reasons someone would want to stay closeted! and it really opens you up to a lot of super personal questions that could be extremely triggering, for the whole damn world to see! and that's not even getting into the sort of traumas in our recent history that can heavily influence one's desire to be out. we are only 30 years past the AIDS epidemic, well within range for stories about it to have influence on those who were too young for it to effect them directly. Maybe YOU don't see why anyone would choose to stay closeted, so obviously they're "queerbaiting." I am GLAD you feel safe enough for that to be your view, but it is a belief rooted in so much ignorance of our history, and total lack of empathy for experiences outside of your own. And so, if somebody doesn't give you a shiny label for you to latch onto, then they're bad and you're gonna do your damndest to let everyone know you don't think they're welcome in your community. It's downright cruel and more of the same just pointed at who you think the right person to be mad at. WHICH DOESN'T EVEN EFFECT JUST THE CELEBRITY. This kind of shit makes other queer people feel unwelcome.

and for this circumstance, the men and mascs in our communities. seeing the way yall are so fucking hostile towards gnc men until they use the right codeword to prove they're actually not a threat. and hell, nobody can even fucking decide on the right codewords fucking anyways because of all the goddamn infighting.

hell, it doesn't matter what you think about it even really. yeah, there's lots of awful things I'd rather people not believe, but it truly doesn't even matter. what matters is how many people treat men's identities as a fucking joke, treat gnc men constantly like they're doing it to be predatory towards women, for celebrities (or hell even less than thay) for pretending to be "kinda gay" for money or clout. and think it's just a funny little joke! that hurts nobody! and if you have a problem with it you're just an overzealous fan, or maybe even predatory yourself!

there's other posts that are worded better about the way that queer men + co are made to feel extremely unwelcome in broad queer spaces and local groups. so i won't get into that any more. idk this ramble really got away from me and i'm just really fucking mad. i hate the way people feel entitled to celebrities identities in general, but the way queer men are met with ridicule and hostility unless they come out (because there's still the signs and people are still queer if they're closeted and your cruelty isn't just magically okay you fucking walnuts), just hurts so fucking much to see.

[autistic-academic-blog]

hey, I am also autistic and applying for a degree like medicine that requires a lot of good 'interpersonal skills'. I've received so many criticisms from professionals who say I won't be able to study it bc I'm autistic, and it's really getting on my nerves! Have you ever dealt with something similar?

Sorry for taking a while to get back to you. I promise I didn’t forget. I’ve been trying to think of what useful advice I could offer. Hopefully everything I’ve written is at least coherent.

First of all, I should preface this by saying that I’m not a doctor or any kind of professional. I’m a high school student who’s planning on going into medicine, but I haven’t gone through much of that process yet. I’m guessing that you might be older than me, just by the way that you phrased your question, but I could be wrong. I should also mention that I don’t disclose my autism to…anyone, so I’ve never been directly discriminated agains for being autistic. 

In general, if you’re dealing with people who don’t think you can accomplish what you want to, the best thing to do is shrug it off and prove them wrong. Especially if they don’t think you can become a doctor because you’re autistic, that’s probably only because they believe the stereotypes that the media perpetuates (that all autistics have no empathy and just go around being rude to people). And that’s not a valid reason to tell someone that they can’t do something. If you think that you should go into medicine, don’t let anything get in the way of that. Use the fact that they don’t believe in you as motivation, if you want. Do well in your classes and look for opportunities to get ahead, and hopefully one day they’ll realize that they were wrong about you. In the meantime, you might also want to look for classmates or people on similar tracks as you who are also autistic/neurodivergent, or autistic role models. I’m sure if you look hard enough, you’ll be able to find plenty of autistic people who are already in the medical field. 

If you’re struggling to be hired or admitted into a program because of your autism, well, that’s a little more tricky. I don’t want to tell you that you should claim to be “high-functioning” or pretend to be more neurotypical than you actually are so that you can get a job, but it might improve your chances if you’re willing. I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with pandering to NT beliefs a little bit if it’ll help in the long run (like in this case, where I know having a good autistic person in medicine could be great). 

On the subject of seeking out jobs, if there’s an interview process (I don’t know exactly what you’re planning on studying, so I don’t know what you’ll be up against, but this is something all neurodivergents should know) you’ll probably want to prepare. A lot of people have written about what you need to do to pass those interviews (because there are often trick questions and mind games involved. And if there’s a personality/aptitude test, I know there are more tricks you’ll need to understand in order to even be considered (once again, NTs for some reason can be really opposed to finding the best person for a job). I’ll link a couple of posts that talk about this in more depth in case you’re not already aware of this. 

How to Pass an Employment Assessment Test: http://www.careertalkpro.com/employment-assessment-test-part-1/

What type of answers are employers looking for during a pre-employment assessment test?: https://www.quora.com/What-type-of-answers-are-employers-looking-for-during-a-pre-employment-assessment-test

Autistic in the Workplace: Ableism and Interviews: https://strangerdarkerbetter.com/2017/01/31/autistic-in-the-workplace-ableism-and-interviews/

I’d also advise you to know your rights (and I realize that by this point, I’ve strayed incredibly far from your question). As a person with a disability, know what rights you are afforded under the ADA (if you live in the United States, if not, under whatever laws your country has) and know that there’s always the possibility you will have to fight for them. For example, prospective employers cannot ask you for any health information before offering you a job, and they cannot fire you because of your disability. Hopefully you’ll never have to deal with any illegal discrimination (although to be fair, legal discrimination isn’t much better), but it’s good to be prepared.

To end this very long-winded answer to your fairly straightforward question, I’d just like to remind you that autistic people are every bit as capable as neurotypical people. And in a field like medicine, you may find that your autism actually gives you a lot of advantages. You might be more detail-oriented than your neurotypical peers, or have a superior memory. You’re probably more logical and may be able to easily separate your emotions from your decision-making process (if you’re hypoempathetic and/or have alexithymia). Or you might have hyperempathy and be able to easily tune into the feelings of your patients. Obviously, as an autistic person you may have to work harder to be aware of your mannerisms and tone of voice if you’re working with patients. But there are plenty of things that doctors/medical professionals have to do that neurotypical people are not naturally suited for either. I wish you the best of luck in dealing with allistics as you navigate your career path (but feel free to visit my inbox any time - I love getting messages from people who are going down the same path as I am). And who know? Maybe someday we’ll be colleagues