#I wish there was a way to buy the 1D day stream

[iloved1d]

Just bought This is Us ,and it was the best $15 I’ve ever spent. I wish we could buy the 12 hour 1D day stream.

[lochsides]

Yellow Metal - cathartic Review

Here’s something I did not expect to be reviewing this week but when Zayn drops a 24 minute rap track, you fall in line. I had to listen to it a couple times through before I could even begin to make sense of my thoughts because my brain sort of malfunctioned. I have never been prouder to be a Zayn fan. He’s such a nuanced songwriter and there is so much to unpack here.

I think this is the most unfiltered version of Zayn that we have ever been exposed to (and possibly will ever be). I am grateful that he said his piece in this because it needed to be said. As a brown woman, I felt so seen by this and I cannot explain what that means to me. Thank you Z, for your unvarnished truth in addressing racism and various forms of discrimination.

I’m doing a short lyrical analysis below the cut, but the TLDR is that this is a fantastic piece of art that deserves to be heard.

I wish he had released this as an EP because that would be easier to review than a single 24 minute song, structurally speaking. So instead, I have picked out some key lyrics, going from top to bottom, that really spoke to me and decided to study the song that way. His lyricism is hard-hitting in this track. It is beyond anything he has ever released before.

“The planet bleeds, the damaged trees. It’s never leaving until we ascend so fuck the fence.” — I have not seen this lyric being talked about in the fandom, because the lyrics that follow this steal the show, rightly so, but I wanted to give this line a moment because it’s important too. To me, this lyric speaks to where Zayn is at with his relationship with the physical world. He’s out on the farm (about which he even goes to say “tell you what I like, farm life and the tractor”) and I believe he’s happy in his space and he feels connected to nature (also see River Road). So it is a poignant and slightly jaded, but valid perspective that he shares on climate change. It’s never leaving until we ascend. The damage human beings have done to the planet won’t be undone until there are no humans left to do damage. It’s a single sentence that says so much about the depth of the climate crisis. I’m doing my PhD on urban air quality so this is something I care really deeply about and I resonated with.

“And until they stop killing colour, it’s fuck the feds.” — Yeah, agreed Zayn. The systemic racism that he calls out here is echoed throughout the song, in equal parts anger and boldness. I love that he isn’t glossing over it with metaphors, which he could easily do and it would be beautiful in a totally different way, but this makes it harder for racists to overlook. There is so much power in calling it like it is.

“Never lose me to fentanyl, scared when I take a Benadryl, keeping it green in general.” — It frustrates me to no end to see Zayn painted as this drug-addicted lazy musician that doesn’t care about his work, because we know how untrue that is. This narrative is tired and simply boring too, and I won’t get into the racist connotations of it when you consider it against his white colleagues who smoke as much as him but that isn’t one of their defining traits in the media.

“I’m racking up excuses while I’m slacking off on work … it was hard work that got me heard” — I love the juxtaposition in this verse. The public/media perception on his career is that Zayn doesn’t put in effort or that he doesn’t want it. This obviously stems from his leaving the band. It goes back to what I was saying before about narrative, when in reality, as Zayn has said on various occasions, he fights to make his own choices. And that doesn’t have to look the way everyone else expects it to (“I beg you, don’t include me. I might write it on my shirt”), he has his own struggles that have helped forge his path, but it is his path that he paved, himself. He works hard to be heard. He has to. It reminds me of something my parents used to tell me when I was younger about being immigrants: you have to work 10 times harder for the same opportunities just because of the colour of your skin or your name on the cv. It’s a harsh truth to grow up with but it was my reality, as it is for most POC.

“This life doesn’t give you no armour, a lot of myself can harm you. I swear on what’s good, that I’m here ‘til they take me. I pray that I’m wrinkled, at least over 80…” — There is something about the simplicity of these lyrics are the messaging that I love. He isn’t trying too hard to sound poetic but he still manages it perfectly.

“All I've been achieving, clocking miles in this region, moving like a legion. Promise that I made to myself, an allegiance. Do you still believe I’m a fool for ever leaving? Staring at the ceiling, can never put a cap on achieving. I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving. // I’ve had about enough of being my own enemy. It’s time I grew up, a long way from 17. Always went against the grain, struggles in my life. Got some things to say when I stand up on the mike.” — This is the only 1D-related lyric I’ll make reference to because this song is about so much more than that. That said though, we cannot overlook Zayn’s experiences in the band because that is part of his story. The tongue-in-cheek of “I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving” is hilarious to me. The line about not wanting to be his own enemy anymore and growing up from 17 reminds me of that quote Taylor (Swift) mentioned in Miss Americana about celebrities getting stuck at the age they got famous. I think this verse is similar to that. None of them ever wanted to be in the band and I don’t care what anyone says, Zayn leaving and proving success outside the band gave the rest of them the courage to follow their own solo careers. Sure there was drama surrounding the split but he did it for himself, to tell his stories the way he is now. Whatever else you have to say about him, you cannot deny his authenticity.

“I ain’t dropping this for fame, I need this time, like therapy, it’s just to keep me sane.” — I think this line tells us 2 things, the first being that this song was not leaked. Z knew what he was doing and his twitter likes tell us as much. He didn’t release it for any sort of attention, otherwise it would be widely available on streaming platforms and for purchase. Which leads to my second point, he released this song to get everything he talks about on the track off his chest. Its referenced in other lyrics too, like “now you see where I come from, the world don’t.” This was for whoever cared to listen, not the world. It’s inaccessible for a reason. I love that he threw those lyrics in. It makes the song feel more like a private conversation or listening to a friend rant. It creates a different form of intimacy between himself and his fans.

“Lessons that I’ve learned, I’ve tried teaching to myself. What I’ve learnt from certain people is that they’re better than myself. So I surround myself with real ones, and you feel the plastic melt.” — This one is for anyone that buys into conspiracy theories surrounding Zayn’s personal life. He surrounds himself with real people, real friendships, real connections. I have never bought into the bullshit that he has zero autonomy over his personal life. I love the use of plastic melting as a metaphor for ridding his life of fakeness.

“Feeling trapped. This industry is a cage.” — Zayn is obviously not the first person to say it. Many artists talk about how suffocating the industry is ( which he further comments on in the sung portion: “I don’t wanna be, I don’t wanna be, a part of this, no, I don’t wanna be, I don’t wanna be, a part of this”). Fame is such a wild and unnatural concept and the exploitation and politics of the music industry only feed further into it. The industry being a cage makes me think of zoos and how celebrities are animals on display, when they should be free in the wild. I also really like the musical interlude following this part.

“Nobody’s speaking the truth, I’m offended by the State. Look at the state of the news, I’ve decided the argument, reciting my views.” — Zayn toes the line between keeping to himself and speaking out on important issues, sometimes not very well. I am his biggest cheerleader, but I’m not up his ass. There have been many occasions where he could’ve done better. But I cannot fault him for being offended by the State because same, Z, same. I love that he took this song as an opportunity to real speak out, no punches pulled.

“See I’ve been facing the racists from back when I were a kiddie. Born up in 93’. Living in Bradford City, they kicked me out of the school. Said they had a problem with me hitting the kids that would call me p***, still sit in the classroom, chilling. I’m angry now that I’m older cause I see they treat us different. Got me thinking I’m the problem ‘cause they never dealt with these issues.” — See what I meant about no punches pulled. He said that! He said it like that too. There is so much in this verse that I relate to, it hits a little too deep. I grew up as a brown in predominantly white communities where the colour of my skin was the reason I was outcasted. We know when that’s happening, clear as day. The lyric “got me thinking that I’m the problem cause they never dealt with these issues” says it all. I have many racial traumas that I’m dealing with as an adult because the adults around me when I was a child didn’t deal with racism in the classroom. They do treat us different!

“20 years later, I’m still in the same boat. Tryna treat me like my grandpa, say I came up off the boat. Came to tell you what I stand for. Man I think you’re shit, a joke. How can I be civil when they got me by the throat? // Pushing my feelings down, you ain’t got it like them. ‘Boy your skin is so light.’ Ok motherfucker, take my name up on a flight. Try to convince immigration that your bloodline’s half white.” — Zayn talking his shit is my new favourite art form. How can I be civil when they got me by the throat? Something that I will always be enraged by is that POC are expected to de-escalate situations of racism. We have to push our feelings down, as Zayn says in the verse, because the institution is against us. All of the institutions are against us. The fact that he takes it a step farther to say that his name makes him a target for racism, even though he is half-white just nails his point home. Also, can we please quit the whole ‘Zayn is white-passing’ bullshit. He alludes to it again later in the song (“asian in my face, but still my race you can’t define”). Its not a compliment to erase someone identity in favour of white-washing them.

“My name ain’t on the list unless they label it ethnic.” — Oh, the amount of times we have heard that age old (v. racist) saying ‘{celebrity of colour} is the new [insert white celebrity here]’ as if POC aren’t allowed to succeed in their own right. It is wild to me that Zayn has to deal with this given his level of success.

“Start to understand why they think that I’m threatening. I move in certain ways, couldn’t slow me with ketamine.” — There is a subtle nod to racism (and Islamaphobia) in this line, because of course the brown man is a threat, but I like the way Z turns it around. I also like the rhyme scheme.

“Raised on the benefit for whose benefit? They’ll never learn shit, man, if the shoe fits.” — Okay I might be reaching here, but this is just my interpretation. We all know the benefit system in the UK sucks. Being raised on benefit implies a lack of money growing up, but the benefits aren’t really all that beneficial to the families that rely upon them.

“Dealing with the hurt, they should know cause they don’t deserve it, it hit deep cause I hit the nerve.” — Well, okay then, just call me out. It’s fine. I seriously feel like he’s talking to me directly with this line. I imagine a lot of us do. Its one of those lyrics that are a bit too honest but that why we love them.

“Cathartic, I’m an artist. Trying to put my heart in” // “Freedom fighter, Yellow Metal is my name.” — So do we have an alternate persona for Zayn now? Alright, I’m down. I think these two lines are tied together, because both are mentioned in the song title. (I think of the song as cathartic, by Yellow Metal, aka Zayn, or Yellow Metal as the name of the EP if this was officially released). The lyrics that accompany both title lyrics, along with the subject matter of the song as a whole, suggest that his heart is in standing up against injustices. I said it earlier, this is the most unvarnished version of Z that we have ever been exposed to. Almost like the complete picture to the puzzle pieces we’ve been putting together over the years.

“They’re tryna kill us with disease.” — Why did this line scream out ‘COVID-19 outbreaks in developing countries’ to me? Again, I might be reaching, but there is a disparity between how COVID is treated amongst minorities, along with many other diseases, and not to mention rich, primarily white countries hoarding vaccine supplies while places like India (and my beautiful Bangladesh and I’m sure Pakistan too) suffer needlessly.

“Started something sick and on my mind is what’s next. Just became a dad so now I’m taking all the cheques. Better know I’m staying and paying like it’s debt. Imma get it done, if it’s taking all my breath, sweat, and down I ain’t messing around ’til I’m the best.” — I think this lyric shows off Zayn’s sentimental side more than it does his ambitious side, because we know he’s in this for the long haul. Others may doubt that but his fans never have. But hearing him talk openly about being a father on a song is something else. It’s like Khai added this whole other layer of meaning and purpose to his life and it’s beautiful to watch. I’ve been here since the X-Factor auditions guys!! It makes me so emotional to witness him like this.

“Aint many of me around, p***, I’m just different. Certain stages to this level aint here because fame is to the devil, fuck a label, imma do this from the ghetto.” — God, we’ve been waiting for a fuck the label moment in this house, haven’t we? I won’t get into my theories on his label or his team, but none of us deny the fact that they should be doing more for him than they are. He has the potential to be the biggest thing with the right team and promo because he has a built-in fan base that would go the mile for him. Obviously, there’s also his aversion to promo to contend with and that’s his decision. Even without it, he could shatter every ceiling. Another thing I want to mention about this verse is the nod to the complete lack of South Asian representation in contemporary Western media.

“Don’t know what’s worse: the way that you live your life or the way that you write a verse.” — I’m just putting this in here because it made giggle. Also going to take this space to say how much I love his energy in this song. He knows he’s the shit, as he should!

“Can’t be louder … so free Gaza on my banner.” // “They’re hating on Palestine ways.” — I love that Zayn has always supported this movement, years ago, before being ‘woke’ was a thing. But now, he has a daughter that has Palestinian heritage and I’m sure that makes this hit that much deeper for him, personally. The apartheid in Palestine is heart-wrenching. It’s so strange to me to watch it happen, because I never thought I would witness something like this happening in 2021, yet here we are.

“Like vipers, I see the sly ones, the snake that’s called Biden, none of them abiding what they might put in writing. We should be used to it by now, say whatever for the vote and then just choose another route. Say they’d never kill another unless that brother’s skin is brown. I’m just telling you the facts, if you can’t take it, the truth naked, to bare bones and my thoughts lately, spitting politics.” — This verse is straight up savage and I am living for it! I find it hilarious that he called Biden a snake. This verse addresses the truth about politics, that even electing a left-wing leader doesn’t fix the system.

“I’m Tony Stark, still embarking on a dream” // “Gone green like Bruce Banner” // “He taught me like Ra’s Al Ghul. Felt like living in Gotham, the people were rotten.” — And to tie it all off, I wanted to take a goofy moment to mention all the superhero lyrics Z added in this song, really showing his personality because I’m such a nerd when it comes to this stuff and it makes me wish that we were friends so I could annoy him to death about it.

[twelvedaysinaugust]

I suggest you do leave it behind! I did. I still go into my blog to stalk fandom when I get bored, just cus. When I say leave it all behind- I mean leave FANDOM behind , I don’t mean stop being a fan. You CAN still enjoy Louis and his music and his cute personality and his pretty face and how he is on stage, without being a Stan. I saw him in Cincinnati yesterday, best gig I’ve been to in ages! And I think it’ll only get better from here. I saw 1D live in 2013, and that’s something that I will carry with me for life because it’s just such a happy memory, those boys meant everything to teenage me. Tbh, they always will. I even saw Harry in 2017, had a blast. No regrets. I personally dislike him these days(and have for a while) so I just ignore his existence now, don’t get involved in any rad or larry drama, even if I was a sort of a rad after being a larrie for 6 years. I was a super hardcore larrie during the band, had a decent size blog and everything. Now looking back… I’m truly not sure if the babygate theory is yk- babygate. Bc I just don’t think it would last this long. Louis claims F as his. But It’s just all so confusing.

Nowadays… fandom just isn’t fun like it used to be. There’s serious discourse on subjects we truly know nothing about. I don’t doubt ALL(larrie, rad, solo harrie/anti Louis, even directioner) blogs are manipulative to an extent. The only part of fandom I partake in is reading fics and, like I said, catching up with Louis (and sometimes Niall) on here. Like you, I know a lot but am certain of very little because louis’ personal life is SO confusing. We don’t know shit. We probably won’t for a very long time. Just wait for LT2 and enjoy that(if it ends up being your music taste), we can’t know the full narrative of the kind of person he truly is, especially w all the fandom theories. He’s a multimillionaire- I’m sure he’ll be fine w less stans and more casual fans. We don’t need to have a parasocial relationship w him.

I don’t think Eleanor is his long term monogamous partner, and I can’t be convinced unless they get married and pop out babies or something. And you’ll never convince me larry wasn’t real at one point… u just won’t. At the very least I’m sold on 2010-2013 larry. His sexuality is also something that confuses me. And larry post 2014 confuses me even more. I hope they are together and happy, and by they I mean Louis and whoever his partner is. If it’s Harry, great! They made it. Good for them. If it’s Eleanor, I’m very confused, but good for them. The details are so convoluted that, no matter what side you’re on, you can’t make conclusions that have no plot holes. And that applies even more to babygate. I’ll always believe Louis is a good person at heart, he’s shown it in the smallest and simplest of ways. He’s never shown to be the type to do bad things for fame or do bad things w/o reason, even if he’s not perfect, I’m certain of that. But I also don’t know the full extent of anything in his personal life. Especially his paternity and relationship w his son. And tbh - idc anymore. I wish everyone a good and happy life as long as they deserve it. And i will simply buy/ listen/ support a career if I think it’s quality work. 4/5 solos(sorry Liam) are quality work. And yes, even if I dislike Harry, I stream some of his songs bc they’re good songs w next level production. Even if 1D weren’t such decent boys, I would’ve still seen them in concert, cus midnight memories and four slapped. It’s so much better when you seperate the art from the artist, believe me, you’ll be thankful when you leave fandom behind! I’d tell this to larries and some rads even, but we both know they don’t listen.

Thank you for taking the time to send this. Everything, everything you said resonated. I wish you all the best.

[mermaidsirennikita]

how do you think 365 dni compares to movies like 50 shades and after?

Why thank you for asking--

I would say that there is a single similarity, which is that they do stem, if not directly, then tangentially from the general fanfiction-turned-romance novel tradition that has existed for a while but really took off after Twilight.  While you can point to Harry Potter inspiring YA fanfic-turned-novels like The Mortal Instruments, Twilight’s impact has really been a lot greater because I think it gave aspiring romance novelists a place to play.  And since romance is one of the biggest (if not the biggest) publishing categories in terms of $$$, it makes sense that publishers saw an opportunity to make money off of popular fanfic.  This is where 50 got popular, as we all know, and other romance novelists like Christina Lauren, to name a bestseller, cut their teeth on Twilight fanfic.

Then, that gave way to Wattpad and 1D, which is where After came in.  I’m not sure exactly where 365 drew from, but it’s definitely at the minimum taking from a lot of mafioso fanfic AUs.  And ultimately, fanfic, and in turn crystallized romance novels, are at their heart wish fulfillment scenarios.  In romance, that’s usually wish fulfillment not just for the characters you like (as with fanfic) but for yourself.  

I think that the biggest issues with After and 50, before we even get into the heroes, are the heroines?  Because there is nothing fun about Ana; Tessa in After is MILDLY better, especially in After We Collided wherein she has a bit more fun... but she still sucks.  Both Ana and Tessa are excessively passive and accepting of not only poor treatment, but frankly mediocre sex?  Lol.  I mean, 50 suffers a lot from Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson hating each other in a not good way, but After suffers from both a lack of chemistry and like... not even a sexual gimmick lol.  Am I really supposed to buy this 19 year old boy as a sexual dynamo?  Sure.  But I digress.  Ana and Tessa are quite dull, and I cannot find any way to relate to them.  

Laura?  Laura is FUCKING AMAZING.  She’s introduced to as us this Business Bitch, and sure, there’s nothing substantive there, but it makes a lot more sense to me than Ana being given a job by her boyfriend and then being treated like she earned it.  Laura comes off as older, more mature--you’re really given a reason to believe that she’s bored with life.  Her boyfriend sucks.  She’s sexually unsatisfied, but certainly takes matters into her own hands (I don’t think Ana or Tessa ever masturbated onscreen lol, which seems a bit?  Odd?  In “erotic dramas”).  And she’s FUNNY.  That’s one of the main reasons I love Laura.  She’s kinda ridiculous.  She wanders about in her sequin caftan, clearly hoping to get kidnapped (which really sets the tone for the movie.... if you were taking this seriously after that, I don’t know what’s wrong with you and your ability to have fun).  She takes control of her Beauty and the Beast inspired dinner with Massimo.  She gives him shit all the time, trots off the tarmac like she’s going to walk to Rome, jumps in a fountain just to give him shit.  In the final 50 Shades movie, Christian tells Ana that she’s topping from the bottom.  But you never see that.  I see it in Laura pressing Massimo’s buttons, in her scoffing at him whenever he tries to throw his weight around.  She’s never afraid of this guy for real, lol, and it’s very clear in her face.

She’s also a much more sexually engaged heroine.  There’s a lot of.........  Like, I won’t say that 365 is nearly as kinky as it could get, OBVIOUSLY lol.  But it’s definitely kinkier than the supposed kinkfest that is 50, just in terms of its dynamic.  And I love that Laura is allowed to be kinky, in particular.  She clearly enjoys sex that isn’t always incredibly tender; she enjoys watching Massimo get a blow job from another woman.  Both 50 Shades and After are remarkably straightforward and traditional in their depictions of what “healthy” sex looks like.

But of course, the point of 365 is not to depict a healthy and normal relationships lol.  It’s to fulfill a specific type of fantasy.  Sometimes, you kind of want to get kidnapped.  Not literally kidnapped, obviously.  But the idea of giving up control and having decisions made for you and being pampered by some rich hot guy who fucks you all over his boat is not bad.  And this is where 365 succeeds so well compared to 50 and After.  The latter two movies just have this constant stream of boring drama, inauthentic drama, just this guy and his bullshit problems that are, in both films might I add, CONNECTED TO HIS POOR MOTHER.  Whereas Massimo literally has to bend to Laura’s will and “become gentle for her”, while also maintaining his position as an archetype.  Honestly, aside from the general conceit and the ending, 365 is pretty much angst-free.  Laura goes on shopping trips.  Laura has great sex.  Laura eats and naps whenever she wants and has someone hang onto her every word and need and desire.

The thing is, too, lol--even when Laura does have some angst, she easily has a superior friend to any meager cardboard stand-in seen in 50 and After.  Olga is FUN!  They have a legitimate spa day montage after Laura has spent hours bitching about her stupid boyfriend.  Olga is also the only character who’s like, this shit is INSANE.  Olga is fabulous.

Finally, 365 is a movie focused on the female gaze to the nth degree, and we need more of that.  The camera worships Michele’s body; it zeroes in on his ass, his abs, his sexual pleasure.  Even when Laura is chained to the bed and wearing a spreader bar, she’s less naked than he is.  Compare this to 50 in particular, where we saw so little of Jamie and so much of Dakota, in a movie supposedly targeting people who are into men.

It’s just a FUN movie.  So much fun.  And that’s where After and 50 fail so hard, imo; they’re just kind of agonizing and the female protagonist really doesn’t even get cookies for her time in either of them.

[jlf23tumble]

I’d love to hear more about your thoughts on different ways they interact with fans in light of their personalities and teams and so on, if you’d like to!

God, I’m so sorry that this has taken me so long to answer! I *do* talk some shit in interviews have some thoughts about their current management teams and how they *do* seem to reflect each artist’s myriad goals and constraints, how they aren’t sabotaging things (given what we know is going on), how they have to walk such a fine line with fan involvement, but lordt, that is not a popular opinion. 

Probably because 1Dhq actually *did* know what they were doing: they wanted to exploit five young guys for immediate fame and short-term gain, and they did it primarily through constant fan access and overly publicized private lives (real and fake). Turning that spigot off or trying to change its course isn’t exactly easy because a lot of fans struggle to a) absorb the post-1D landscape in general and their role in it in particular, let alone b) understand how much the music industry has changed from even one year ago (spoiler: it requires following other artists closely, and I just don’t see that here). Add to that the fact that these men themselves (yes, they’re all in their mid-20s now, they’re men) seem to encourage intense fan engagement when it serves a specific purpose (looking at you in anger, recent tweet from Niall), and the waters just get muddier, le sigh.

I keep writing and rewriting my thoughts, and they keep spiraling out of control because this is a topic that fires me UP, especially because it mixes in some things that I could spend hours venting about:

the amateur marketing experts and business analysts who feel qualified to make sweeping statements in spite of having no clue about the goals, budgets, constraints, personal life issues, conflicting schedules, or anything else happening bts

the baffling assumption that any of these guys is a struggling indie artist aged 19 who desperately requires any of our unpaid labor and angst, 24/7 (OR TO CALL UP RADIO STATIONS, NIALL)…they are male millionaires at this very moment in time

the policing of anyone enjoying anything because they just don’t get how terrible it is that a magazine with the characters from “Frozen” on the cover “leaked” an album title

the underlying misogyny in so much of allll of this (and this one ALONE I could go on about for days)

the use of words like, “I’m so confused about why xx is or isn’t happening”…because, yeah, makes sense, YOU DON’T WORK THERE, IT ISN’T YOUR JOB TO BE UNCONFUSED ABOUT IT

Deep breath, yes, I know, “not all fans”: lots of people like me focus on loving them, supporting them, buying songs, buying an album, going to a show, buying some merch, screaming about bullshit on tumblr. But a small but extremely vocal minority screams about how I’m not doing “enough,” and newsflash, I’m not paid to stream songs all night or call radio stations or make presents or absorb the levels of anxiety I see in some inboxes, and more to the point, I’m not paid to feel guilty about it from a fellow fan or deal with a bunch of misguided anonymous bullshit. I get tired just thinking about it, tbqh. Teams of people literally DO get paid to handle the majority of that, in fact.

That’s my hot take on the fan side, anyway (I wrote up a full breakdown per man in the D—how each team is actually honoring each man’s various goals, how fans are involved in that process because it’s literally part of the promo process, you are a commodity, etc.—but it’s winter, and I’m tired, so I’ll save that for some other time). The bigger issue is what these teams actually manage, and why I feel some sympathy for them (NOTE THAT I’M NOT A DUMBASS, THE FOLLOWING IS GIVEN: the music industry is fucking awful, mgmt teams get paid handsomely, most of them are monsters, artists get screwed no matter what, I don’t lose sleep over a mgmt team’s pain, deep breath, calm down). 

As Kim said waaaay more eloquently than I ever could when I was in full vent mode with her yesterday (??? feels like years ago, lmao), people don’t give their teams enough credit for the impossibly complicated situations they’re managing. This was her overall point, and I completely agree: these guys are all closeted, but it’s so much more complicated than “some fans cling to their het fantasies so their teams (have to) keep up the closet and cater to them but end up alienating fans who think they aren’t straight”, because what about the contracts (not just Simon’s, but the ones with Sony, Capital, Columbia, the Azoffs, any other powerful person who’s treated them like shit and/or handcrafted their image for at least six years)? 

Their teams don’t just have to deal with a fandom that’s split into different factions that are basically at war over opposing images of who these guys are and what their lives look like, they ALSO have to deal with it in a way that doesn’t breach ANY of these old contracts or tells any subsection of fans that they’ve been lied to by their idol for a decade or plays into any of the (pretty arbitrary) things that either fans or the guys themselves have come to hate being associated with over the years, while ALSO crafting an image that’s distinct and individual enough to distance them from 1D enough to have a solo career, while ALSO being recognizable enough for existing fans to still stan. All that, PLUS they have to listen to their client’s wishes and help them navigate whatever it is they’re trying to accomplish as artists. It’s not an easy task even for the best team, so mistakes will be made, miscalculations will happen, big news will pop up in a throwaway article in a magazine that’s promoting the vocal talents of the “Frozen” cast. And it doesn’t mean that the team is BAD, let alone sabotaging anyone on purpose: it most likely just means that they’re trying to handle a very difficult situation and are doing it in real time. They’re building a plane as they’re flying it. On top of that, they know information we simply don’t–much of it highly personal and volatile.

Ugh, I”m getting fired up again, so I’ll sign off. Those are my thoughts, I really should shut down my inbox…enjoy!!! 

[ariianas]

ˢʰᑫ ᶦᶰᵗᵉʳᵛᶦᵉʷ ﹔𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕒𝕟𝕒 𝕘𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖 !

❝ so you are famously known for not only your grammy winning music, but also your ability to fall in and out of love. your boyfriend, shawn mendes, has abruptly abandoned your joint tour just as rumors surface of your ongoing relationship with 1d alumni, liam payne. what are you doing to keep yourself positive? and what exactly is going on with liam and shawn? ❞

❛ whew, okay, i should’ve known the hard-hitting questions were coming first. trying to get the hot scoop, man ? can’t blame you. but, uh, i do the same thing to stay positive during ... you know ... the million times a month when my life hits the fan. lots of comfort food, surrounding myself around these brilliant, amazing people i call friends n’ lay up with piggy n’ the gang. what else could a girl possibly ask for ? oh, i know, a suave answer to get my tiny ass out of this question. uh, literally days after my divorce with gregg was finalized, i ran into my little crumpet liam. we instantly hit it off, which had much to do with me droolin’ over his accent, mind you. then he ghosted for personal reasons, n’ a bitch wanted to hop on the first man she saw. lasted a good two days later, of course. shawn came along ‘n ruined everything ─── but in the best way possible. so, yeah. ❜

❝ consider the rumors about sofia carson are true. do you think you were inconsiderate of her feelings because your own marriage was wrecked due to another woman? ❞

❛ oh gosh, not a day goes by where i haven’t heard sofia’s name. can y’all leave the poor girl alone ? i don’t even know the girl, ‘n i’m feelin’ super bad for her right now. that’s rough. but, uh, do i think i was inconsiderate ? fuck yeah. are you not listening, dude ? as i said before, my main priority after leaving gregg was living as recklessly as i possibly could. and, well, uh, some may say that i took that a little too far. look, any inch of consideration that i felt instantly flew out the window once i really got to know who shawn was. which was, mind you, by like the second day of us speaking. n’ to clear that up, i never had the intention of stealing shawn away from her, or whatever they were at the time, but it just happened. i spruced up his life n’ he did the same for mine, simple. ❜

❝ your critics have stated that your music is becoming too generic. your song, 7 rings, blatantly copies the flow of another artist. what do you have to say to the people that are questioning your artistic integrity? and why are you so afraid to say you pulled inspiration from others? ❞

❛ this again ? i really want people to stop this whole ‘ she copied so n’ so, ’ or ‘ this sounds exactly like …. ’ bullshit cause music n’ beats are universal. literally every song, pop, at that, would sound the absolute same to anyone who isn’t all techy with production n’ all that jazz. plus, why would i be afraid to admit something so simple ? everyone has to start somewhere, man, n’ there’s no reason for me to shy away from that. you know ? it’s like adding fuel to the fire. no bueno, my friend. either fuckin’ way, man, 7 rings is a banger ─── buy n’ stream it, folks. mama needs to feed her dogs tonight ! ❜

❝ let’s talk about some of the other men in your life. for instance, joe keery, who infamously publicly defended your honor during the cheating scandal between camila and your ex husband, gregg. it seems you have a history with somewhat problematic behavior. do you think you’re manipulative? do you feel bad for what occurred between you and keery and how his tweets destroyed his friendship for many months? and don’t you get a sense of your actions repeating themselves? ❞

❛ y’all really made sure to hit all the bases here, huh ? the only interview that has done their research has me spilling out my guts. thanks guys ! but, uh, did he really come to my defense ? can someone pull up the tweet for the love of science ? i need visual proof cause now i’m feelin’ bad for tell him to buzz off the other day. joseph, if you’re seeing this then i’m sorry ! let’s be friends again ! now, to get down to the nitty gritty since i know this is the tea everyone’s looking for. am i manipulative ? of course i wouldn’t say that, but i will say that i’d stop at absolutely nothing to get what i want. so, if that’s your idea of manipulative then there’s your answer. as for joseph, i definitely feel bad. i mean, let me not act like ghostin’ him was easy cause watching his reaction when i told him actually ruined me. he was just this precious ‘lil awkward bean who deserved the world n’ still does, which is why i’m happy he ended up with madelaine. she will definitely give him more than i was able to, so, i wish ‘em nothing but the best. so yeah, if i could redo the entire joseph scenario then i would. for sure. but you know what’s scary ? i wouldn’t have seen it that way unless you would’ve brought it up. that means shawn would be joe n’ liam would be gregg ….. yeah, no, i don’t wanna play this game anymore. ❜

❝ it’s been rumored that you were pressuring shawn mendes to have a baby with you. do you honestly believe you’re ready for parenthood? and describe your relationship with your other boyfriend, liam payne’s son, bear. do you think your desire to have a child with shawn stemmed from your jealously over liam’s relationship with the mother of his child? ❞

❛ pressuring ? is that what you call it ? i, excuse me, was just throwing things out there n’ maybe, just maybe, it was aggressive as hell. am i ready for parenthood ? definitely. i feel like knowing that another life literally depends on me n’ my actions would be enough to finally snap me out of my shit. but to be honest, i would answer that except i don’t have a relationship with bear. it might be crazy to hear considering liam and i had a thing for months, but i thought it would be weird as hell from cheryl’s position. like, coming around n’ seeing this little stick figure with your child ? nope, i’ll spare myself from that scandal. also, jealousy ? what’s that ? have never, can never, will never experience that emotion in my entire life. thanks. ❜

and with that, my friends, it’s a wrap ! hopefully i didn’t say anything to offend anyone, i’m literally just telling my side of ... everything. whoever doesn’t like it could suck a fat one, preferably in my honor cause i haven’t gotten action in weeks. sorry. too much information ? ariana, stop talking !

[back-to-louis]

Hi! I’m new here and am solo Louis fan. I don’t have opinions on his personal life/ sexuality bc quite frankly, I don’t give a fuck. I just take his word for everything, and I also don’t stan 1d or Harry at all so I have no wish to care about outdated theories 😭

I wanted to know, do u think Louis will ever free himself from having such a large portion of his fan base be so weirdly obsessed with his personal life? I know someone who went to a FITF listening party and (minor spoiler) she said the album is gonna go off and it’s gonna be very poppunk/ upbeat indie so obviously that will draw in some normal ppl, but I wonder if Louis will ever free himself from ppl like doll lady and the larries who have said the most vile shit about his son and disturbed his peace by singing Harry’s song outside his tour bus while he was napping. Like I wonder if they’ll ever just leave the fandom bc I am personally counting down the days until they do. They think being an oopsie dad makes Louis a villain (which is so strange like most kids aren’t planned 😭) even though he constantly proves that he’s wonderful. And the way they treat women is just… abnormal. I really hope they give it up soon bc it’s been a whole decade like MOVE ON

Heya, welcome and thanks for your message and I'm sorry for the late reply!

I think that unfortunately Louis will always have (possibly a majority of) CTs and other hater "stans" as part of his fandom in part because CTs don't ever really fully die (even when larries say they hate being here, they can't stop being here because the validation they require can only be acquired in the CT spaces), and in part because the nature of social media spaces these days encourages engagement at the cost of community. The controversies and bad "hot takes" and memeing and mobbing drives engagement in these spaces which makes it easy for people to stay whether or not they enjoy the source material (or the source creators!)

I think the question is more whether this all translates to album sales/streams or butts in seats at concerts, and... I don't know. I used to worry more about this with LT1, but as for now I am at a sort of peace that a certain number of CT/haters will always buy tickets and travel because they need to feel they're doing a communication with "Larry" at all times, and they won't give that up. I've seen that they don't have an impact on how Louis performs, interacts, talks about or goes about his life, so... I guess my take now is that I hope they keep paying his bills!

I think next tour will give a better picture of that. Freddie will be seven (!), Harry will have been in two movies and will likely still be with Olivia. I'd say anyone who is still around in 2023 is probably never leaving lol.

[givelovechooselove]

I feel like people are trying to analyze Harry's career as it happens and comparing it to Niall and Liam's and it's... completely different. 1. Harry is going to still promote SOTT and HS1 by the beginning of next year with all the awards ceremonies. SOTT is already at 1M in the US and 3M worldwide. It'll probably end up double Platinum US, Platinum UK and with a Grammy nom/win (for rock), a BRIT award, an ARIA award, etc. That and having it charting at #4 makes it an outstanding success. (1)

Especially considering there was a very short promo span and no discounts or payola (on Spotify OR radio). It was an absolutely organic successful solo song. Considering Harry is touring HS1 again until summer next year, it’s probably gonna wind up Platinum or multi Platinum, with several nominations as well. Radio success with rock is quite hard to get, but still SOTT got to be #11 in overall US radio and #1 in European radios (for weeks!!!). SOTT’s video is VEVO certified and was nominated (2)

Two VMAs. Two Ghosts was just biding time until Kiwi, imo. We’ll see if I’m right when Kiwi promo starts, but I think it was just to have something of his on the radio and an excuse for him to do a couple of TV appearances between Dunkirk promo and Kiwi promo. There are articles about his tour, but people would have to seek them out to actually read about him. All tour things are mostly just for the fandom. So, yeah, I don’t think they were ever planning on having Two Ghosts as this huge (3)

single at all. They never did any promo for it and the video was just rehashing footage fans had already seen of him playing live, which with a chill song isn’t that exciting (unless it’s acoustic, which this wasn’t). I don’t think Harry even tweeted about Two Ghosts. Compare that to his promotion of SOTT. Columbia isn’t dumb. If they wanted a huge single, they could’ve done it. I don’t think it’s a flop in the slightest. A flop would be if he had tried and failed, but he didn’t try. (4)

Because that was never the purpose of the song. I do think he’ll do something similar to SOTT with Kiwi. He has the VSFS performance scheduled for around the time of release (a month after radio impact) and he’ll probably be in the X Factor around that time as well. He has the cancer relief concert as well around that time. I expect him to do Fallon, maybe Jingle Bell Ball or some other festival. Kiwi will probably have a banging video. And then he’ll have the BBC Special as well. (5)

Anyway, my point is that HSHQ clearly knows what they’re doing. They want Harry to have a long lasting career, not to be a flash in the pan. Lots of artists have number one singles on radio or drift around the 20s in the charts for months but that doesn’t necessarily mean success. Look at Liam, he got Platinum in the UK but his sales are way lower than Harry’s. Why? Because his Platinum was mostly driven by streams, which he got by being in Spotify lists, which his label paid for. (6)

And while that is a completely valid way of making yourself known, Harry has no need to do that. He can do quality promo that will give him the same results than Niall and Liam going to every single radio station in America. SOTT had Platinum numbers in America after 96 days, which is the exact same amount of time that it took Niall to get Platinum numbers, except Niall had the song on discount for two and a half months by that point. I’m not saying one of them is more successful than the (7)

Other AT ALL, which is the mistake lots of fans make. They have different types of success and all of them are great. Just because Harry didn’t get a radio #1 or didn’t stay in the charts for five months (he stayed for three and a half, so not that bad either lmao) it doesn’t mean that Liam and Niall were more successful. Harry was more successful in other areas and it took him way less effort to get there than Liam and Niall. People need to learn to stop comparing things that aren’t (8)

comparable. I love all three of them (and Louis too obviously) and I’m very happy for the success of all three of them. I wish people could stop taking numbers out of context to make Harry’s success smaller than it is. Harry is the one that’s getting more long-lasting results as of now. Too Much To Ask and Get Low didn’t do nearly half as well as Slow Hands and Strip That Down, and they weren’t album singles to have that excuse. With the success of their other songs, it should be a given (9)

That the next tracks they released would do great automatically, but they didn’t, and that indicates that they don’t have as many new fans as people want to believe they have (and no, twitter followers aren’t indication of new fans, especially considering both Niall and Liam are buying tens of thousands of followers every day and have been doing it for months, which you can check yourself, 90% of their latest followers are bots). Anyway, let’s call things for what they are. Niall and Liam (10)

had lots of success that they had to work VERY hard on, and they still continue to have to work super hard because they aren’t as known. Their songs are super radio friendly and they had to resort to payola in both Spotify and radio to get played more (nothing wrong with that, 1D did it a lot!) and to discount their songs for a LONG time to get them moving. Harry had a very successful single which he got with no shenanigans and just a good sound and promo and he’ll have to continue to work (11)

little butt off to match the level of success with Kiwi (he didn’t do it with Two Ghosts because he clearly wasn’t interested). He’s not after the same thing Liam and Niall are: radio hits. He’s after something completely different. Both Liam and Niall AND Harry are getting what they want, through hard work, talent and good music. But the THREE OF THEM still have LOOOOOADS to do to match more established artists. FIN. Sorry for the rant lol (12)

bitch WOW I cannot believe you just blessed me with a 12 part anon, a masterpiece. Like… you did not come to play games–receipts AND analysis and not a single lie was told. Amazing. brilliant. fantastic. outstanding.

[theyoongoboongo]

Hair Dye

Scenario: I hope you don’t dye your hair anymore because I really like this shade in my eyes and wow okay here you go again.

Pairing: Yoongi + Reader

Genre: Fluff + Soulmate AU (in which your eyes change colors when your soulmate dyes their hair)

Word Count: 2,058

Author’s Note: This is my first BTS scenario. I told myself I wasn’t going to do this again, because I used to write on Wattpad for 1D, but here I am. I hope you enjoy it ♡

◇ Masterlist ◇

cr.

You noticed your eyes shift colors for the first time four years ago. You were brushing your teeth when you saw it happen in a matter of seconds. Looking closer in the mirror, your natural color was gone, and a light brown had replaced it.

You ran out to where your parents were, tears streaming down your face. You thought you were losing your mind and wanted to know what was happening.

With a chuckle, your father pulled you onto the cushion next to him on the couch while your mother sat on the other side of you.

That was when you learned about soulmates.

Although it doesn’t happen to everyone, your eye color changes whenever your soulmate dyes their hair. Once their hair fades back to the natural color, so would your eyes. Usually, people dye their hair a crazy color to find their soulmate easier, while others would rather wait and see if they can find their soulmate without any help.

Your parents realized they were soulmates a year after they met. They were in love, but weren’t sure if they were with the right person. So, they went down to a corner store to buy cheap hair dye and went back to their apartment. They dyed each other’s hair and watched as both of their eyes changed colors.

Your tears dried up after realizing that this was happening to you.

To say you were relieved would be an understatement. You were happy to know that your soulmate was alive and thriving, but most of all, you were glad they decided to go with a natural color.

You spoke too soon.

A few months later, you were at the food court in the mall with your friend, Amber. You were both talking about the recent episode of your favorite show while sharing a basket of fries. Your eyes were closed as you laughed and when you opened them, her jaw had dropped. You gave her a questioning look, and she pointed at your eyes. You ran to the nearest bathroom and nearly screamed.

They were red.

You stormed out of the bathroom, curses spewing from your mouth. When you made it back to the table, she made a joke about how your face was as red as your eyes. You threw a fry at her and held back a smile.

The next time your eyes changed, they were orange. You wondered if your soulmate had a hard time committing to a color, and why they always chose the most random hues. You hoped it would stop soon.

You had just begun college when your eyes turned a pinkish color. This was a color that you didn’t mind. It wasn’t the hot pink that one of your friends had in their eyes at one point. You prayed that this color would last longer than any other.

Surprisingly, it did. You were beginning to worry, though. Your soulmate never went this long without dyeing their hair. Did something happen to them? Were they okay?

While those thoughts clouded your mind, you failed to notice a boy with pink hair walk right by you, disappearing into the music building.

The following year, you woke up with light yellow eyes. You figured your soulmate had attempted to achieve the bleached blond look, but you couldn’t fathom why.

You were a little annoyed. Out of all the colors, your soulmate wanted their hair to be bleached? They must know by now that your eyes would be the same exact color, so why would they do that? This was when you wished you had colored contacts.

With sunglasses covering your eyes and a scowl on your face, you trudged to your morning class. You were scolding yourself for thinking it would be a smart idea to even take a morning class, but that was the only available time. When you turned the corner in the hall, you collided with a boy.

You were ready to let him have it, but when you snapped your head up at him, you were taken aback by his bleached hair.

You wanted to believe that it was your soulmate, but you shook it off as a coincidence.

Before you could say anything, he quickly apologized and ran down the hallway and out the door.

You spent the rest of the day thinking about him. You spaced out in your classes, and you had a bruise on your arm when Amber slapped you to get your attention.

She asked you what was wrong, but you just waved it off with an excuse. She would never let you hear the end of it if you told her that you might have just met your soulmate, but let him go.

You pushed the memory to the back of your mind and figured that if he was your soulmate, fate would bring you back together.

The next color was mint green. You weren’t expecting this at all, but you weren’t disappointed in the slightest.

It was a beautiful color that you could pull off. Not only that, but your eyes were no longer the bleached color that made it look like you didn’t have irises.

Amber called you to meet up after her choir class so you both could walk home together because she left her key in her room. Your history class ended earlier than usual, so you went over to the music building to explore until she came out.

You were approaching the practice rooms when you heard a song being played. You crept up to the second practice room and peeked in through the window.

There, you saw a boy with mint colored hair hunched over a piano, lost in the music. It felt like you were in a trance as you stared at his figure. The angle that he was sitting didn’t allow you to see his face, but he still seemed familiar to you. It didn’t even click that your eyes matched his hair because you were so mesmerized.

You felt a tug on your jacket sleeve, causing you to snap out of it. You turned to see Amber standing there, staring down at her phone.

“Who is that?” You asked her, glancing back at the boy.

She tucked her phone into her pocket and looked at the subject of your curiosity.

“Oh, that’s Min Yoongi,” she replied.

It took her a couple of seconds to process that his hair and your eyes were the same color. She quickly grabbed your arm and dragged you away from the window.

“Ow! What the hell, Amber?” You rubbed your arm when she let go.

“How can you be so blind, Y/N? Your eyes match his hair! Maybe he’s your soulmate.”

You pondered the thought. “Maybe, but how can you be so sure?”

She was about to answer when another boy with mint green hair ran by the both of you.

“See? My soulmate could be in another country for all we know. Just forget about it for now,” you said as you looped your arm through hers. “Let’s go home, I’m tired.”

Later on in the year, they became grey. By now, you were getting tired of the changing colors.

Whenever you meet your soulmate, you planned on yelling at them for dyeing their hair so many times within a few years.

You couldn’t complain, though, because you really liked this shade on you.

You were talking to Amber in the back of your psychology class when you noticed Yoongi sitting towards the front of the room. You had never realized that he was in your class until then.

“Hey, was he always in this class?” You asked Amber, not taking your eyes off Yoongi.

She chuckled. “Yeah. Since the beginning of the semester.”

“He has grey hair now. My eyes are grey.”

“If you think he’s your soulmate, then go talk to him. There’s no harm in that.” She nudged you to go.

“Not yet. Not until I’m 100% sure,” you sighed. “Besides, three other guys in this class have the same shade in their hair.”

Amber shrugged and pulled out her notebook as your professor began class.

~

You were sitting in the coffee shop at the edge of campus with Amber. Finals week was approaching, but you both hated studying in the library with everyone else.

“Well, I mean, it could be worse,” Amber said while taking a sip of her coffee.

“I look like a fucking demon,” you mumbled, staring at your reflection on your phone.

Your irises were now completely black, which only meant that your dear soulmate has dyed their hair once more.

“Oh, hush,” she laughed. “You’ve been complaining about each color for the past four years. Maybe your soulmate is waiting for you to make a move and dye your hair.”

You sighed and put your phone on the table. “Maybe I should dye it the most ridiculous color so they’ll know how I’ve felt.”

“It’d be easier to find them. My hair has been coral for about a year now, and I have yet to see anyone with coral colored eyes. I think I want to do teal next time.”

Your mind wandered to Yoongi as Amber rambled on about colors. Ever since the day your eyes turned to grey, you had checked the practice room to see if his hair was ever a different color. Before you would peek into the window, you prayed to the heavens that his hair wouldn’t be different. The smallest bit of you wanted him to be the soulmate you had been dreaming about. Fortunately, his hair was the same grey.

“I really liked his grey hair, too,” you thought out loud.

As if he could read your mind, Yoongi walked through the coffee shop doors right after you spoke. His grey hair was now black.

You began to pack up your belongings.

“Amber, we need to go.”

“What? Why?” She quickly stuffed her papers into her backpack.

“You’re going to help me dye my hair.”

~

The next day, you practically ran to class with Amber trailing behind you. You held onto the hat that was covering your newly dyed hair. You wanted to be in the room before Yoongi so you could confront him when he came in. You fell into your seat and gathered your thoughts.

What would you do if his eyes weren’t the color of your hair? What if they are, but he doesn’t like you? Could you handle that rejection?

You couldn’t let the negative thoughts overpower the positive ones. There’s still a big chance that he was the one. You were just moments away from finding out the truth.

About ten minutes later, the door opened and Yoongi slowly made his way to his seat in front. As soon as you saw him, you backed out of your plan. You didn’t want to make a scene in front of the whole class. It would be best to do this after the professor dismissed everyone at the end.

The monotonous voice of your professor made the lecture seem like it was dragging on for days. Every few minutes, you would check the clock to see if it was time to go. There were only five minutes left.

As soon as those five minutes were up, your professor turned off the projector and waved goodbye to everyone. You scrambled to grab your bag and watched as Yoongi left with the crowd of students. You didn’t even say anything to Amber as you ran after him.

“Yoongi!” You shouted. Thankfully, he heard you over everyone else’s voices.

He stopped and looked at you with confusion.

Of course, you thought, he has no idea who you are and how you even know him. How embarrassing.

When you were in directly in front of him, you looked right into his eyes.

You felt like crying when you saw the brilliant shade of purple in his irises. You took off your hat and let your hair down. He let out a  gasp as he realized what that meant.

This is who you had been searching for. The boy you ran into with bleached blond hair, the boy with mint colored hair playing the piano, and now the boy with black hair and purple eyes. You finally found him.

“It’s you.”

[ificouldflytotheclouds]

And somehow the stars align

So I was just thinking of my top favorite artists of all time: Taylor Swift, One Direction, and 5sos. And they strangely all have similar pathways even though they're on different roads. 

The beginning. 

Out of the three Taylor is the artist I can tell you the least as to how I fell into her music but it I believe it manifested from a friends recommendations. 

One Direction I remember seeing the countdown for WMYB on my sidebar every day I was on youtube, by the time the music video dropped I finally clicked on the videos because I was intrigued by this video trying to encroach on my life. 

5sos was a friend recommendation. 5 Years ago (+1 day) she sent my a link to try hard. I didn’t listen to it at the time because I didn’t want to download anything onto my mom’s computer. A month later she sent me the link to Luke’s cover of please don’t go, it wasn’t till I looked into his other work did I realize he was part of 5sos. Check yes Juliet and drop in the ocean that won me over.

Getting into them

I saw Taylor perform at the mall and after the show we got a signed cd (rip, at the time someone standing near us was like can we meet her after and security was like no, something about being too many ppl, but like…)

For 1d my friend had me watch their video diaries and I fell in love. We saw them at the same mall (and when I say mall I mean the Mall of America, aka the biggest mall in the U. S. A. anyways…) that was crazy busy. We didn’t have tickets but we went to watch anyways, that was fun, and it actually spawned a friendship with someone who went to my school and is now one of my besties now (who was the person who introduced me to 5sos). 

5sos. I remember wanting to go to the Stars, Stripes and Maple Syrup Tour (actually, I completely forgot about this until today, I forgot how whipped I was for them before slsp came out). But we couldn’t go. (rip, wasn’t able to go to wwat for same/similar reasons, but this year finally traveling to Chicago for a show so it kinda makes up for it). Got tickets for Rock Out with Your Socks Out Tour but we ended up selling them to go to a second 1d show. I don’t regret this decision, because 1) that was ones for the books and 2) we knew that this might be the last time we will ever see them (once Zayn left me and my friend were intent on going to more than one show). Back to 5sos, the day of their show we almost ended up getting into their radio show, but we still go to see them walk past. 

The second album ‘Hiatus’

This is where things strangely align

Way back to middle school I wasn’t into music the same way I am now, it was healthier, lol. I still loved Taylor but I didn’t get fearless until Christmas, I fell in love with that album on my grandma’s staircase. I watched all the behind the scenes pictures, but compared to the information that goes out now I knew nothing, I just knew the bigger things (I think this is why I always struggle/feel like I don’t fit in with online Taylor stan culture, bc it wasn’t how I fell for her and her music). We tried to get tickets to the fearless tour but were unsuccessful.

Before I begin with 1d, I also want to remind you that Spotify has not always been around, and even then I didn’t download it till sometime in 2017. I don’t even know when it comes to the tmh era. Back sophomore/junior year when I got into things it would be in waves (it’s starting to go back to that which is healthy). So tmh was when I wasn’t following 1d so much. My friend invited me to see a prescreening of the this is us movie. I /sort of/ forced myself to listen to tmh. TMH era might have been one of their best but there’s a reason why it took me a while to get into this album, it’s just not my fav, I find it the least memorable, even though generally speaking its a better album than uan. (I still love the album don’t get me wrong)

5sos, oh 5sos, just trying to figure yourselves out. I don’t like talking about this much, it’s important to acknowledge but it can also feed negativity. Them as people were getting harder to stand and the fandom was getting to be too much, so I had to say goodbye to social media side. I don’t regret this decision and I really wish I had done this at one point for 1d, but with that, it was a little different (baby gate being announcement was hell). I still loved their music but my friend was pressuring me not to listen to it, so that winter I didn’t buy livesos, but I do remember a year later I listening to the skh ep, and enjoying it (Even though I was iffy about skh at the time). School had started and I was kinda out of the loop so I don’t think I actually knew when sgfg came out (Even though I defs followed a few 5sos ppl still, just not update accounts at the time)

Even though I wasn’t there for sgfg I equate this time period with the self-titled album era - post album release because I was there but I wasn’t. I liked the album but it ended up being the least memorable, similar to take me home. 

3rd album hoopla

For each of them, the hype began months before the album was released, most likely starting with the drop of a single and riding a high from there.

For Taylor it started with her live stream announcing the 3rd album, to mine that released when I was in a cafe in the Northwoods, the album release week was epic, we finally got tickets to see her on tour (for my friends 15th birthday, 15 I still cry I go to listen to this live when I was 15). I EMBODIED THIS ERA. I had my first crush, the world was magical, I was in a world wind.

This was my school friend forcing me to let my fangirl out lol. (For 1d this wasn’t their peak compared to Taylor and 5sos currently, but it was a very important era for me as a fan). It started with me going to the prescreening of this is us, wow I loved them. SNL performances, being excited for the first show, I had all the lyrics printed out so I could sing them...good times. (I feel like 1d’s best era was tmh but I wasn’t there so its not my #1 era as a fan, from there it’s hard to pick bc I didnt get to see them during wwat, I did with FOUR/OTRA, but there was also DRAMA with that era, and then there was MITAM mini era which got us high and dry(ingourtears)).

And now here we are for 5sos’ 3rd album. You can FEEL that this one is different. SGFG was good, heck, that is one of the best albums I have ever heard, and ngl I was low key nervous as to how they were going to out beat it. But that album was rushed, they didn’t get as much time off as it feels, but this album there is SOOO SOOO much love put in this album. And it goes beyond the lyrics. They really pushed themselves, instrumentally, emotionally, vocally, as people. There is growth, expansion. They reinvented themselves, and yet they are just an embodiment of who they always were, the lessons they’ve learned, and just a better more empowered version of themselves. I wish I could remember if it was pre or post want you back but I ended up getting into SGFG (properly) around this time. THe first few songs made it hard to get into the album when I had listened to it in the past. But I was finally able to skip around those (this is one of those times where I probs would've listened to the album earlier if I had spotify at the time) and later fall in love with them. I think that album came in at the right time. I got to go to 5sos3, got tickets for meet you there, youngblood is amazing. Life is great.

Since the 3rd album hoopla for 1d and Taylor

I got to see both of them from row, in the same year,  b stage for 1d and center catwalk for Taylor. Still love them, they’re chill, since 2015 I can say I’ve seen Niall at least once every year, 2 times for OTRA, met him during his golf tournament in ‘16, 2 radio shows in ‘17 on which Liam also played at. I have a Harry concert in a few days, seeing Niall twice this year to continue the tradition, might see Taylor (tixs are sooooo expensive, don’t love her new album that much but this girl loves  Taylor sooo, I’m not going to miss it - I don’t hate it but it’s just not the same as how I feel in love with yb instantly, it doesn’t give me that feel), and I get to see 5sos again in the fall (I want to go to their Chicago radio show so bad bc it’s close to the Chicago Niall show, but not close enough, darn)

[whats-a-michaelclifford]

fun dare do all the fucking questions

YOU LIL RASCAL

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.

Rock Me - 1D, Heartbreak Girl - 5SOS, Jasey Rae - 5SOS Cover, Break Out! Break Out! - ATL, Valerie - Amy Winehouse, Beside You - 5SOS

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

PHIL LESTER

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“In truth, I wasn’t being good out of love or respect for their…” - Buffering: Unshared Tales Of A Life Fully Loaded by Hannah Hart

4) What do you think about most?

Getting out of my dumb ass town. 

5) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

No, pft I wish

6) Do you have any strange phobias?

Besides clowns? 

7) What’s your religion?

EHHHHHH?????

8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Tanning or helping with the yard

9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

5SOS or 1D

10) What was the last lie you told?

I’m single

11) Do you believe in karma?

Yeah bitch you best believe

12) What does your URL mean?

Honestly though, what IS a michael clifford

13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Weakness? Loving too much… Strength? Being able to love????

14) Who is your celebrity crush?

In mainstream media? Michael Clifford. In non-main stream? Phil Lester

15) How do you vent your anger?

Writing

16) Do you have a collection of anything?

Books, lots of them

17) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

Decently, she could use some work tho

18) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

Hate? Yelling. Love? My friends laughter

19) What’s your biggest “what if”?

What if I never met my best friends? OR What if i just don’t go back to college?

20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

Yes and yes

21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Right arm? Bookcase is out of reach. Left arm? My lamp

22) Smell the air. What do you smell?

My house?

23) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

Haunted house with clowns

24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender?

Niall Horan, Harry Styles, Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson, Michael CLifford, Luke Hemmings, Calum Hood, Ashton Irwin, Alex Gaskarth, Troye Sivan, ect

25) To you, what is the meaning of life?

Fuck if I know. I’m just trying to survive mijo(a)

26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

Yes and I once bumped a pole but never crashed

27) What was the last movie you saw?

ROGUE ONE: A STAR WARS STORY 

28) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

Broke my big toe

29) Do you have any obsessions right now?

Youtubers always

30) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

Uh, not that I know of

31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Yeah, depends tho

32) What is your astrological sign?

Capricorn

33) What’s the last thing you purchased?

Toilet paper and eggs

34) Love or lust?

Love

35) In a relationship?

Sí

36) How many relationships have you had?

Counting this one 3

37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

Fuck if I know

38) Where is your best friend?

Their both in school

39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

Cuddling my girlfriend, WASUP

40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

At times yes

41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

GET FUCKING FIRED BISCH

42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

A) No B) Make the most of it C) YES

43) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Any 1D or 5SOS song. So many good memories man

44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Actually liking each other

45) How can I win your heart?

Buy me books, let me talk about things i love even if you don’t care ( shout out to my girlfriend @alltimeblowz who hears me constantly talk about Star Wars, Yuri on Ice and DanandPhil waaaaaayyyyyy a lot)

46) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

Sure, look at every wonderful creation out there

47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Back in 6th grade when I joined band. Best years of my life

48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

To quote Dan Howell, Pinof 7, “UGH”. No but really just something really nice

49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “heart.”

Heartache on The Big Screen by 5SOS i’MSORRYYY

50) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?

Purple

51) What is your current desktop picture?

Well I have 4 different ones. Dan, Phil, a Tatinof Picture, and a screenshot ofmy instagram in Grace Helbig’s video

52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

Probably D*nald Tr*mp……….*cough*

53) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Won’t know till I hear it

54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

I can motherfucking do something I don’t know WHY THIS ONE SO HARD

55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

MEETING GRACE HELBIG OR PATRICK STUMP

56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

There’s a couple but wouldn’t that alter time

57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Hey Halsey or Michael HMU

58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

England

59) Ever been on a plane?

Yeah when I was tiny

60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities.

Halsey, Michael Clifford, Niall Horan, Zoe Sugg, AND SO MANY PEOPLE ARE SO HOT

….I DID IT!