#I wish I could've finished earlier... but I'm not So late! I think! I think they would be happy to see fanart of them regardless of the tim

[bunnuela]

Kinda late BUT ᵇʳᵉᵃᵗʰᵉˢ ᶦⁿ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BABIES! 🎂🍕💕

[taesanrot]

[found you] sungchan x f!reader | 0.7k words fluff, a little angst but not really, brother's best friend!sungchan, mutual pining, college au kinda... note. reader is eunseok's younger sister and a sophomore not sure if that was too clear. hope u guys enjoy! one two three

you crossed your arms loosely and began the short walk to your apartment. checking your phone, you see a couple texts from your friends, asking how your dinner date had gone. you sighed.

sungmin was sweet; he was cute and respectful and he should’ve been everything you wanted. but somehow, you felt nothing with him. your friends, the same ones who had set the two of you up, convinced you to give it time, but after your second date you ended things, smiling at him softly and telling him you didn’t think it would be a great idea for the two of you to keep seeing each other. he almost begged you to let him walk you home; it was starting to get dark. but you honestly just wanted to get away from him and stop rubbing salt on the wound. so here you were, walking to your campus apartment in a comfortable silence, staring at the ground and filing through your own thoughts. 

that silence didn’t last too long as you heard someone call your name confusedly. “y/n?” 

you looked up and squinted, barely registering the tall figure that had called out to you. they jogged towards you and you sighed in relief as your eyes focused on the mystery figure's face. jung sungchan. 3rd year student also attending your uni. your brother’s best friend and roommate. and unfortunately, the reason you even went out tonight. he was the person you wished so desperately that your heart would forget. 

“hi sungchan.” you managed a weak smile. you could barely look him in the eyes, you face felt like it was on fire every time you looked at him. you felt your pulse jump as he looked you up and down, eyeing your outfit. “going somewhere?” he tried his best to fake surprise. he already knew exactly what your plans were — eunseok had mentioned it earlier that day. 

“y/n’s seeing that guy again.” eunseok rolled his eyes after checking his phone. he didn’t understand why you were suddenly going on dates. "i thought he was boring?" seunghan, their third roommate replied, looking up from his cereal.  

sungchan walked past the two boys and opened the fridge, grabbing a protein shake. he turned and leant against the countertop, twisting the cap of his drink open. “huh? what guy?.” sungchan tried to sound as unbothered as possible. he wasn't doing a great job at it. eunseok raised an eyebrow at the taller boy. seunghan bit back a laugh.

“some senior yunjin set her up with. park sungmin…. you know him?” eunseok smirked, pretending not to notice the way sungchan’s jaw tightened slightly. "i'm going to the gym" sungchan huffed out as he finished the last sips of his drink, crumpling the bottle with more force than necessary before tossing it.  

you looked down at your skirt and blouse, laughing dejectedly. "yeah, dinner actually. i'm on my way home now." although he was over the moon to hear that things with you and sungmin were clearly going nowhere, his eyes softened at the sadness in your voice. "didn't go well?"

"not really, i just wasn't into it, ended things tonight." you looked down, toying with the end of your sleeve. he grimaced. "is that why you're walking back alone?" you nodded. he scanned the area around the two of you. "you could've called me, you shouldn't walk alone so late"

you chuckled softly. "it's okay, i'm a big girl. i can make a five minute walk alone." he broke into a smile and you swear you could feel your heartbeat in your ears. he checked his phone quickly before looking back at you.

"well, me and guys were gonna watch a movie at our place tonight, wanna come along? seems like you could use some company."

you bit your lip in contemplation. you honestly thought spending more time with the one person you were avoiding was a terrible idea. but you also couldn't bear the thought of being alone in your apartment. what's the worst that could happen anyways?

"sure. are you heading there now?" sungchan smiled happily at your answer. "i was gonna pick up some snacks first, there's a convenience store around the corner."

"let's go."

[bonus]

as the front door shut and the tall boy left the apartment, seunghan looked up at eunseok again, chewing the remainder of his cereal. "doesn't it bother you?" eunseok finally let out a laugh. "that he likes my sister? no, i think it's pretty funny, maybe he'll do something about it for once." eunseok's phone chimed with a message from yunjin, a response to him asking where his sister was going tonight. "plus... i'm pretty sure she likes him back."  

[rinsuniverse]

Can I request woozi with a reader who loves loves loves music? I’m autistic and music is just one of those things that make me so so so happy! And I really vibe with svt songs it’s crazy…

woozi with a s/o who loves music ✧˖°.

i feel like it's necessary for woozi's s/o to LOVE music

i think he said in an interview one time that his ideal type is someone who loves music as much as he does!

but anyway, if he knows you love music, he'd be so overjoyed!

he'd feel even more motivated to keep producing music

he'd send you lots of song recommendations and playlists

and he'd sing your favorite songs to you on very lucky days

one day, when you were attending one of seventeen's concerts when you guys just started dating

he memorized where you were supposed to be seated

and whenever he'd look over at you and saw you bopping your head to the music and listening happily as you get lost in the wonderful sounds he put together

he can't help but smile at you and fall in love with you

the way you can get so lost in music just like he does

it just makes his heart so happy

he wishes he could've taken a photo or video of that moment, but he treasures that memory and makes sure to remember it vividly

during the time he has to go on tour and leave you home alone for a long weekend, he compiles a playlist of music he loves, music he thinks you would love, and music he KNOWS you love for you to play on a speaker for when the house feels too quiet

when you're in the car together, he insists he always has the aux, but of course, he'd play specific songs especially for you

since this drabble is kind of short...

here's an imagine for you!

imagine it's been a terribly long day, and you're feeling so exhausted on your way home

when you get home, you aren't surprised jihoon's not there

i mean, he stays up pretty late working

but you decide you're gonna beg for him to come home at a reasonable time so he can come chill with you at home

so you shoot him a text like

you: ji

you: pls come home

and he responds

jihoon: right now?

you: just earlier than usual

jihoon: why? what's wrong?

you: i've had such a long day

jihoon: you can't come to the studio and hang out with me here?

you: ...

jihoon: fine i'll come home in a bit

and you lay there on the couch with your work clothes still on

you don't even have the energy to clean yourself up or make yourself something to eat

when he comes home, he tsks at you

"wow. have you just been laying here since you called me?"

"mhm."

he chuckles, plopping himself on top of you

"want to call it an early night tonight?" he mumbles into your shoulder

"yes, please."

he gets up and helps you up, leading both of you to your room

he takes off your jacket for you before laying it over your desk chair

you go to the bathroom to actually change into some pjs

and he changes into some shorts that he left over at your house

and then you both lay next to each other in bed

"i'm so tired," you say, sighing

you lay your head on his chest and listen to the rhythm of his heart

"why? did you not have a good day?"

"it was an okay day, just felt like it was too long."

"oh, makes sense," he says.

he doesn't ask if you want to talk about it

because, to be honest, he doesn't know how to comfort you with words

and if you really wanted to talk about it, you would go on ahead and do it

you lay there in silence until he starts singing "hug" to you

you listen to his voice and the meaningful lyrics

and it feels so wholesome and so pure

you want moments like these to last forever because you love music and you love him

so if he's singing to you, it's just everything you love at once

you quickly fall asleep in his loose grasp

his arm wrapped around your shoulders with his fingers drumming a soft beat on your chest

and when he finishes singing, he quickly notices your soft snores, and he feels so accomplished and happy

he feels so warm in these music sharing moments with you

he plays some of your favorite songs on his phone at a low volume

and you both sleep well together 🫶

thank you so much for the request! i hope you enjoyed it <3 feel free to request many, many more things ✧( ु•⌄• )◞◟( •⌄• ू )✧

(p.s. requests are still open! i specialize in woozi stuff, but i don't mind writing about other svt members! i can also do some nsfw if you want! so request whatever and as much as you want! ς(>‿<.))

[that-left-turn]

Oh my, I really enjoyed tumblr more than other sm because usually people are only occupying themselves with things they love and interact with mutuals. It's sad that discourses of Twitter/X are now here too.

It's nice that you're taking your time to answer every anon especially because it's always very thorough but if we're starting to go to other fandoms and asking why people are doing this and that even when they never interacted with them is annoying at some point.

Yes, out of 1000 people in a fandom are 10 asshats. That goes for EVERY fandom.

I'm sorry I've annoyed you. The asks were unexpected, but I've only responded to what's in my inbox... (I guess that makes me an agony aunt(ie)? 🤪) Regardless, I'll happily talk about less depressing Caryl-y things if some anon wants that.

Due to an ask (a while back) about Stick Figures, I opened the outline and realized that it's very weird to start a chapter with smut. Plot focused smut, even. Do people reread a fic when it gets an unexpected update? A sudden sex scene with no buildup (unless you're coming off reading the previous chapters) seems like a belly flop from the high dive and I can't move it to later in the chapter because I have to keep pace with the season.

There's something else (which I wish I had addressed earlier) that also bothers me about this story. It's not big enough to warrant a rewrite, especially since I want to finish the fic in hopefully three chapters, but the lack of this minor arc also makes it less than. I guess it's normal to wish you were better, but coupled with the awkward(ly positioned) sex scene, it feels like my shortcomings are having a laugh at my expense. 🎪🤹‍♀️🎟️ 🙄

Anyway, the Stick Figures sex scene has me pondering what a canon scene mid-S11 would've, could've... should've(?) looked like. It has to deliver emotional payoff for fans but still leave room for further character development and engagement, and the spinoff. (More to think about than the straight-up gratification at the end of a fic.) Caryl sex would have to be a scene aimed at adults—emotional maturity, not ratings-wise—because there are some heavy topics to lift and these two characters are middle-aged, so their concerns are different from reasonably well-adjusted 30-somethings who haven't had false starts and do-overs.

I'm not sure what it would've looked like in the hands of someone who wanted McReedus to put their chemistry on the back burner. I guess there might also be an overwhelming fear with slow burn and delaying viewer gratification this long, that no matter what TPTB do, it won't be enough. Fans have had time to build up expectations and various head canons for how it should go. A mixed audience reception this late in the game is not good. Caryl needs a big statement.

[shmowder]

Aaaaaa we get a snippet! How did I get so lucky? 😍 I was thinking they would be like the BG3 ones, simply a list of three kinks for each character, so that made my day and I'm wide-eyed with anticipation for the others when they're ready <3

Listen, I never thought I'd be into the toxic masculinity or daddy kink before... but for Yulia, I could be convinced. Without a whole lot of difficulty. Because I have the willpower and conviction of a lamb. Or something. And because of your writing! I will never get tired of praising your writing and its ability to make me feel things. I understand the Minthara comparison now. Bonus points for using the phrase "clutch their pearls" which makes me smile every time I see it :D

-

I've finally begun Patho Classic! So my first impressions are 1) Your impulse to stand around and look at the cows is very relatable 2) WHAT is this voice acting. Artemy has a British accent? "Don't you go all bossy on me, clever clogs." ???????? I know I'll get over it but it's really funny to me at the moment and I'm a little scared to hear what everyone else sounds like.

Thanks again for all the tips you wrote out earlier. I looked them over again and I have the maps printed out and ready to go. I'm only in the very beginning, just spoke to Notkin, Bad Grief, and the Olgimskys but it is just me or are there a lot fewer trash cans and dumpsters to loot than in P2? Maybe I'm just not looking in the right places.

-

I know you said you wish you could get requests out faster, so here's some reassurance that you're doing wonderfully. You can only do what you can with the energy that you have. I was glad to see that you're not pushing yourself too hard by coming back here, and that writing helps. Wishing you the best ❤️

🐿️ anon

Kfhowjd the fun of P1 is discovering all the secrets stumble upon the obnoxious useful details the devs left your way and just gasp because oh god they really did that and you never noticed until now?? this could've saved you so much money/time!!

So I'll resist my urge to spoil you on every shortcut and secret mechanic that will make your life a little easier.

Trust me, it's so much fun to figure out on your own. You'll feel so smart and proud of yourself afterwards no matter how late it happens, because I sure did.

Honestly, the infamouse "pathologic long boring walks" don't even register with me anymore.

This is just the norm now, like I'm weirded out by other games where things are so close by?? What do you mean I don't have to go across the town at least thrice to finish one quest with mediocre rewards? Let me enjoy the scenery in peace while occasionally parkouring to evade the sentient plague clouds hurdling towards me!

I also used the time to curse the last person who spoke to me in the quest for treating me like their courier pigeon. Oh, the colourful names I've called each and every single leader in this town, the titles I've bestowed upon Alexander Cuckburov for being a gaint tree branch wedged into my urethra.

Also, oh man, do people love giving Daniil pistols, got two out of Alexander and one out of Andrey for FREE. didn't even have to scam the men like in the haruspex route, I just asked, and they handed them to me– you should never underestimate the powers of a well-dressed twink huh.

I hope you enjoy the game! and yeah the voice acting and accent choices are hilarious, I think it's more of a localisation creative choice? Because Artemy speaks in a British accent but uses Australian lingo and "mate" a lot. While Daniil speaks in an american accent but uses British lingo and phrases so much, he says "bloody" an unbelievable amount.

You'll witness Artemy use the word yapping in canon lore, that's fun.

So many things are hilarious, so much more cursing and abrasive language. Andrey tells you all about how last night orgy was disgusting, a couple npcs call Aglaya a bitch, Bad Grief uses cunt a couple times. There are so many funny instances that put P2 "oh sorry for my bad language" scene to shame.

Casual misogyny also, from your humble protagonists and other characters. If you think Yulia was mild mannered in P2 then just wait until you get to the scene where she literally talks shit about ALL the other women in the town to Daniil mere minutes after meeting him.

Daniil doesn't quote latin as much in P1, which is funny. It means it was an active choice to make him more obnoxious in P2.

One last thing, get into the habit of leaving stuff, especially herbs, in your lair drawer because the Haruspex has massive inventory management problems.

-

ochwixjwjdnd Thank you for your praise <333 it means a lot. I like how different characters like Minthara and Yulia could still have a kink in common yet approach it in different ways?

Minthara is more possessive with it, emphasis on the toxic part. The "masculinity" is basically drow femininity in her culture, which is why it comes so naturally to her. It's women who are expected to be dominated and in control.

Yulia, meanwhile, is someone who lives in a society where women are expected to be docile and submissive. A time period when wearing pants was seen as an outrageous act, borderline heresy. Even Aglaya, the most powerful woman, if not the person–in the whole town, still abides to the dress code, a modest long dress.

The town, especially the Kains, might have encouraged a "progressive no rules" style of living but that just translated to "dress slutier and still abide to gender roles" rather than deviate from social norms.

In P1 that is only made more important by the fact she is the ONLY woman character who wears pants in the entire town if not the entire game. P1 clearly being set in an older time period since in P2 you get more technology and progressive views as more and more women are seen wearing pants.

Not to mention her extremely short hair, she didn't have a bun in P1, only a pixie cut. P1 Yulia was a setting stone, unapologetically being herself in a town that burned women for being "demons" Her identity as butch as a whole wasn't noted in the Wikipedia for nothing. It was a different time. What seems normal and average to us now would've been seen as outrageous and drastic to that time period.

So a kink like that definitely hits a special spot in her brain where she is just done with society expectations. If people are horrified of her for what she is, then she might as well play on it and get some pleasure?

If they keep calling her a man for her clothes then why not go the whole way? She'll bed women and men alike and have them address her as sir, as daddy, as a husband.

Yulia is a gentlewoman still. She might not sit with her legs spreading like Andrey, but she'd love to have a pretty thing like you over her lap just as much as any man would.

And it adds a cheeky meaning to her idle dialogue phrase "A woman's nerves can only take so much" As she remains unaffected and collected in the face of great catastrophe.

Minthara would be want you to still refer to her with "Ma'am" and feminine terms while calling her strap a cock.

Yulia would rather you call her your daddy, use more masculine terms, albeit on the elegant side. She's never sleezy. She'd act like the perfect Victorian era husband, hold you by the waist, open the door for you, and have you underneath her in bed.

But she is no Daniil. She is still a fatalist at heart. Her home tends to be a mess. She tends to overthink and get lost in her own mind. She's an avid smoker and prefers to observe rather than take risks.

Things that are deemed "masculine" traits are just normal human traits in reality, anyone could develop them and Yulia refuses to be forced into a mould for femininity.

A world where the human experience is labeled as masculine and femininity is a constant performance, Yulia won't trim her edges and won't cover her blemished. She is a woman despite it all no matter what anyone says, she proudly owns her identity as she makes a joke out of these imaginary gender rules by playing around with masculine terms.

If you want a modern equivalent, think of modern butch lesbians who use He/Him pronouns and take testosterone. How other people feel like they have the right to police them or get outraged at them for... being themselves? Stupid people yes but they sadly make the majority.

That's how severe it is for her to wear pants and sport a manly short haircut as a noble aristocrat woman in the P1 time period.

-

If I wanted to explore the "toxic" part of the "toxic masculinity," then I see her using weapnised incompetence to get out of doing things she doesn't want whilst mansplaining things to you.

Deliberately using convoluted phrases and big words to make you pause and have to mull over her every sentence to make you feel smaller and less intelligent, so you'll just give up and agree with her.

See? Let your husband do the thinking. It's her job, after all. You just look pretty and go wash the dishes while she enjoys her drink.

She doesn't argue, that's the thing, she wins argument before the start by immediately conceading. She makes you feel like you're the one being emotional and overly sensitive, like you're the hysterical dramatic one that's yelling as she remains calm and civil.

It makes you feel bad even if you were in the right, Yulia knows that and it's why she does it, why she apologises immediately one sentence into the argument so you never get the chance to actually vent your frustration.

So she can claim you're simply too hormonal for your own good, that you need a strong logical masculine figure to keep you in check from your own emotions, and that happened to be her.

Basically, recycling that era's misogyny to use against you.

-

I'm too ambitious for my own good when it comes to projects. I have the perfect vision and I want to make it come true, its like I can clearly picture how I want each piece of writing to be, all the scenes to plan and all the characters to include.

Afterwards, it's actually time to act and work, and I exhaust all my energy while barely reaching 10% completion on my perfect vision, my magnum opus so far away.

This cycle repeats each time. I've learned to cut my losses and lower my requirements and standards a lot for what should be published or not. To set realistic expectations to what I could achieve.

Because in theory, I could make this vision into a reality, I have the skills and passion. But in practice? I don't have the energy, time or motivation since I know no matter how much I pour into it, only me and like 15 people total who care about patho x reader will ever ever see my post, only 7 will like it and only one or two will comment.

I looked over my bg3 fetish post and thought "pfft, I bet I can make this even better and bigger!" And I did.... for like 4 characters total before I burned out because damn.

It's so easy to talk about one character, study them and dissect them under a microscope, I could spin endless tales about Yulia or any single character from one prompt.

But. It's harder talking about multiple, especially when it's bordering double-digit territory. I have to switch prospective, get into different characters' mindsets, and keep track of their history and traits. It's headache inducing

It's like the difference between baking one big cake and baking many cupcakes, each with different flavours and difference recipes.

By the end you do get the same amount of cake technically but by god is the second one so much more exhausting.

That birthday post sucked the life out of me. I had to "educated guess" my way into what each character could possibly bring time after time after time and the result while satisfying and rich in essence, still remained a very condescended read, a short drabble.

A lot of times I cut Rubin last minute from healers requests because I gave my all spoons to Artemy and Daniil's part and now I have a headache and the idea of having to put myself into any new character's shoes makes me feel like throwing up.

Like a CPU capping the more tabs and programs you have open, Please god have mercy.

What makes this whole process more insulting is the fact there is no high after the pain to tank on yk? I know I'm throwing my writing to the ocean the second I post it, it will sink immediately to the seafloor and be lost forever.

60% of my notes rn are about the two memes I posted... two days ago while 25% is about memes I posted months ago, 10% is about my character study and 5% is about my x character writing.

SO I CAN'T EVEN GET ADDICTED. I can't even fuel my creative process with the dopamine of clicks and numbers going up! WAKE UP SQUIRREL ANON IT'S JUST ME AND YOU AND LIKE 2 OTHER NAMED ANONS PLUS 5 OTHER LURKERS IN HERE.

It's a labour of love. Each piece chips a piece of my soul with it. Yes, even the Oyun CBT snippet, which will get posted eventually.

I get nothing from this. I just genuinely really want it to exist so badly. It sucks to make, and it sucks to post, and it sucks to watch flop! But it's... god, for a moment in time, it's beautiful when I reread it after weeks and get hit directly in the heart by my own creation.

And sometimes, it's cathartic to make. Exhausting in a good way? Like the exhaustion after a good swim, the soreness after a party, the relief after finally throwing up as all the built-up despair from the dreadfull anticipation fizzles out.

And I still make mistakes and it's not perfect but it's mine. I'm still learning! I still discover new words to add to my vocabulary and then microdose into my works. New Idoms and descriptive phrases, I pause and think after every sentence to try and see if I could've phrases it better, If there are more fitting adjectives.

Yet typos still pass me by and at times I'm 90% certain I've posted literal gibberish and there is no way this collection of vaguely connected sentences actually tell a story.

But I still post it all the same because I've spent effort on it dammit. Burned or not you'll eat the damn cake! Plus after going to sleep and actually having a decent meal, I'm pleasantly surprised that I haven't shat the writing bed yet by posting gibberish and these words are actually coherent my god.

It's so easy to give into intuition after a while, to fall into a slump and sink deeper into your comfort zone of art. Creativity is a skill you train and with time you can put your brain on auto pilot while making art.

But that is a slippery slope my friend, getting too comfortable floating on the soothing ocean waves is as dangerous as flying directly into the sun. Next thing you know you're stuck in a tar pit at the deep oceanfloor after closing your eyes for a minute.

And the unkown becomes frightening again, and your ego is brittle and fragile, and you took your readers for granted and now you must humble yourself otherwise life and time will do it for you.

I fear the second to last part the most, taking my readers for granted. Taking every like, comment and anon for granted. I make it a point to thank each person who has ever commented on any of my fics on AO3, likewise I still thank people for their kind words and time on here no matter how redundant I sound.

You learn to not forget, to appreciate everything because nothing is ever mundane. We're real people, real humans interacting and sparing moments of our lives for each other. It's so easy to look at a "Great work!" comment notification on a screen and forget a whole person is behind it on the other end. To forgo the forest for the trees.

Which I'm thankful for your presence here, I'm thankful for the time you take to write down these asks, and I'm grateful for your sweet words because I rarely remember to offer them to myself.

I hope you enjoy p1! please do tell me about all the funny moments or interesting things you encounter. For me I'm on day 3 of the Bachelor playthrough and I'm realising how much of an easier life Daniil has in comparison to Artemy.

[blu3haw4]

13 and clexa

Hi! I'm so very late, I'm so sorry! This took way longer than anticipated and it's quiet short, but I really have to thank you for sending this ask, the moment I received it, I was having a terrible time emotionally, and thinking about writing something again gave me so much energy and happiness, so really, thank you so much 💖💕

I hope you get to read it, it's part of a little universe I've been working on for a while (Famous AU) but all the context you need for this one is already here, so enjoy :D

*2017. Mids of the Arkadia Music's world tour*

As per rutine for the past several month, the group of musicians signed with Arkadia Music's made their way into the hall of the hotel as they each finished their own interviews, every room on this floor was reserved for their pre-concert activities, and soon they would be leaving to the venue.

"That was fun" Octavia smirked as they got closer and in position for their team to lead them to the next room where they were holding a press conference.

"You didn't need to be that rude, y'know?" Her band mate said with a meaningless eye roll.

"Oh please, Clarke" Octavia groaned as she turned back to her best friend "he wasn't even a good guy, he wanted dirt yet was too stupid to find a way to create it, I did us both a favor"

"I wish you could've played rude in my interview" the green-eyed singer sighed from behind the duo as their team instructed them to start moving. Clarke turned to pout sympathicaly at her girlfriend, but resisted the urge to reach out to grab her hand, knowing there were people with cameras, looking for gossip behind every door.

"Ugh yeah, what's the point of doing this together if Woods and i have to do half of it alone" Murphy said walking beside Lexa "besides the interviewer was all flirt and no bussiness, i swear there was not a single question about music... no, yeah there was one "was Bruised Knee about sex?"" Murphy rolled his eyes.

"If you have to ask..." Octavia called immediately

"It's definitely not" the group responded in unison.

"If you haven't question it..."

"It probably is!" The chanted their little mantra with laugher as they stopped before a door.

"I mean, i don't see it so unfair, though... you chose a solo career" Octavia mentioned staring an argument with Murphy that had everybody joining in. Eventually, as their tour manager's assistant told them to go in, it was Murphy and Octavia bickering at each other while the group finished their talk over it.

Before the door started to open, while Monty was finishing a question for Clarke, Lexa spoke lowly "can i get a kiss?"

The door moved open and Clarke turned to pout at Lexa, after catching her question too late for been answering Monty's question "im sorry" she whispered as they all moved into the room.

"It's okay" Lexa mouthed once Clarke turned to look at her again, she only pouted harder before turning to face the press with a smile on her face.

They greeted everyone as they all took their seats and the questions started. As the conference went on, the couple leaned to look at each other from across the table often, trying to make it as subtle as possible and definitely failing miserably. Clarke kept pouting and wishing she could've heard her girlfriend earlier and complaid in kind. After all, it wasn't all that often that the famous pop start, too damage from previous homofobic management, scared of the repercussions her previous contracts might still had over her public image, and straight to the public eye, asked, fearlessly and worryless, for any display of affection in public -or at work, for that matter-

Half through the conference, as Jasper was answering a question -or something completely off topic to the question asked at him- Clarke leaned her chin on her right hand, absently looking down at her wrist where four of her  tattoos laid. Unwillingly to her, one of her eyebrows lifted slightly as she felt a light-bulb light-up over her head. She held a smirk as she turn slightly to look at Lexa, as expected, her girlfriend was already looking at her, so while maintaining eye contact, Clarke leaned down and softly kissed the head of her minimalist racoon tattoo that matched Lexa's lion.

Lexa resists the need to roll her eyes and equally intense need to smile at her girlfriend, she licks her lips as she looks away and around the room, with a smirk of her own she looks down at her own wrist and up at Clarke, lifting her left arm she scratches behind her ear before leaning on her hand with her elbow on the table, looking around one more time she leans to kiss the lion on her wrist while looking at Clarke. The couple smiled at each other before looking away and inevitably staring to blush like teenagers. They both lowered their hand and, after a second of consideration, moved them under the table as they laid back on their chairs. This very moment would be considered by their fan as one of the biggest "mirroring" proofs of their time. -and they would be very proud of it-

Mirroring, def:

“To put it simply, mirroring is matching someone’s behavior, whether it’s their voice, their words, or their non-verbal cues (think gestures, movement, and body posture),”

"When two people have been together for a long time they'll start acting like each other, not just with certain sayings or inside jokes, but when they move they'll start mirroring each other's body lenguage"

[theteasetwrites]

I just finished watching twd’s final episode (ya i know im so late) aaand I totally agree with you. That episode was so rushed, everything happened so fast. As expected it was a total chaos.

I literally cried when Rosita died, I really wish it was Judith or RJ just to give Michone something to be guilty abt. Yaa I’m not a fan of Michonne and her leaving the kids to find Rick.

I loved the scene between Daryl and Carol in the end, it just showed how platonic their love for each other and nothing more people!

The explosion? UGHH.

The dinner after the explosion? Major cringe and very confusing, I mean not like they celebrated after the war with the Saviors? It just didn’t make sense.

And oh Maggie, my dearest. She deserves peace and happiness but I get her, if I were her I would’ve killed Annie so atleast we’re even.

Kinda disappointed. After 11 seasons we deserved a better ending. But hey, I am excited that Rick Grimes is back.

And yes, Daryl deserves a happy ending too. And thank goodness we have you to give him that! <3

Yeah it was very rushed, messy, lazy, and insulting. I mean it could've been a lot worse, but it could've been so much better if they had actually taken the time to make a good, well thought out last season instead of throwing in so many useless storylines. I mean the whole Reaper arc should've been thrown out. They could've used that time to delve into the Commonwealth stuff earlier. Also when they spent that whole episode in 11b focusing on Eugene trying to solve that mystery with Hornsby and Stephanie and all that shit... so ridiculous just give me 45 minutes of Daryl showering and I'll be happy

Anyway, Rosita dying was horrendously sad. I mean it was a beautiful death that was at least peaceful which is what she deserves, but it was still so sad. At least she died in the very last episode instead of in the middle of the series, so we got as much Rosita content as we could get.

I WISH JUDITH HAD DIED TOO HAHA. No fr what was the point of Judith getting shot if she wasn't going to die? Just to fuck with us? And to waste time? Seriously her getting shot was such a waste of time, it's insulting. She should've died and then it would at least have some payoff. But noooo they just had to do that stupid Carl/Rick parallel with Judith and Daryl. I rolled my eyes so hard man. It was just so lazy and they thought they were being so clever like ok get over urself besties

And you're so right, Michonne should feel guilty for leaving her kids! I mean tbh if Judith and RJ were my kids I'd probably abandon them too (not really lol) but yeah.

The Carol and Daryl scene was also pointless imo. I mean I guess it was cool if you like their friendship but I don't even think their friendship is that fun to watch lol so yeah. The "I love you" was definitely platonic but it read as more caryl baiting for the carylers.

That explosion was so ridiculous. How did they pull that off in a matter of a few hours? I was baffled. It was so weird and unrealistic lol. I mean I realize I am asking for realism in a show about zombies, but at some point realism is required for the show to make sense within the context, you know?

Everything was just way too convenient in that last episode. The explosion, Daryl just so happening to have the universal donor blood type (yeah fucking right), Judith surviving that gunshot wound, barely anyone in the main cast dying, everyone celebrating after destroying half the city and a ton of Commonwealth civilians dying... SUPER WEIRD.

Yeah the dinner was so cringey I'm sorry. It just felt so unearned and wrong. I mean they just faced a tragedy. Luke died hours ago and his group went from sobbing uncontrollably to laughing as they clink glasses at the dinner table like EXCUSE ME lmao. And once again, that huge explosion must've been super devastating to the structure of the city. How can the group be celebrating at a time like this? Also don't get me started on how EXHAUSTED they would've been after all of that, and yet they made a five course Thanksgiving meal in less than 24 hours after a really bad walker invasion??? And I know for a fact it was less than 24 hours later because Rosita was still alive and you can't live more than 24 hours with that fever from the bite. So stupid I'm sorry guys I wanna like it but I just can't.

MAGGIE SHOULD DEFINITELY KILL ANNIE HAHAHAHHAHAHAH

I totally agree my friend. Sorry for ranting but you made some great points that got me thinking about how irrationally mad I am at the finale lol. I just think it could've been so much better. And then after the one year time jump, it was way too saccharine and didn't match the tone of the rest of the episode or the season. I think that they still could've given them that happy ending without it being so colorful and bright and everyone smiling super big and idk it was just way too perfect and utopian looking. They could've done a way more nuanced thing that didn't make me feel as uncomfortable as it did lol. It was almost uncanny how saccharine the ending was.

Daryl is going to get the happiest ending of anyone in the series by the time I'm done with him in my series. He is gonna grow old with his wife and kids. He will know peace <3

[lazloorpington]

anipoke rant time: Hau deserved so much better

i may be biased because hau is one of my favourite pokémon rivals for sure, but hear me out here okay (obviously major pokémon sun & moon anime spoilers up ahead of you haven't watched it already)

hau is a pretty important rival for ash, since of course, they battle in the alola league. it's a tough battle too, since rowlet is going to be at a noticeable disadvantage to decidueye. hau's also really enthusiastic about battling and is really energetic, just like ash! so surely, they'd have multiple encounters and get along super well, right?

well... no! not really!

first of all, i think hau was introduced WAY too late into the season. like, ultra legends?! that is the last part of the season, god damn it! considering that, in the games, hau is (afaik) one of the first characters you encounter, i find it crazy that he's introduced so late! i mean sure, ash is spending a lot of time at the pokemon school, so the likelihood of them interacting was kinda low, but still... i feel like his introduction should've been way earlier.

let me demonstrate my point with another green-haired rival: sawyer! throughout the second and third parts of xy, ash and sawyer interacted pretty frequently. a lot of them were meaningful too, not just "hey, let's battle!"... and again, sawyer becomes important because of the kalos pokemon league! and, just like hau, sawyer is a tough opponent for ash! but it feels more meaningful when ash wins because we watched sawyer get to develop his skills by battling and analysing ash's skills, by watching their battles you could tell that sawyer was getting much stronger, even stronger than ash! it was great to watch that development, leading up to that big moment; their battle at the pokemon league!

i know hau and sawyer are very different, but my point still stands, right? after hau's introductory episode, he did NOT appear again until it was time for the pokemon league, where it was all "aha oh yeah dartrix evolved and we're like way stronger" like it's great! but it would've been so much better to watch that development happen the same way we watched it happen with sawyer! if ash and hau had more of a time to build their rivalry (and friendship!), i think that battle would've been so much more meaningful! and it's not to say it wasn't, since rowlet and decidueye were established rivals already, but still... i wish his character could've been explored and developed more.

but i'm not done. i haven't talked about journeys yet!

now, granted, i haven't finished journeys yet. but i'm at the masters 8 tournament. so i'm pretty close to the end. now guess, how much screentime has hau had this entire season?

if you guessed less than 5 seconds, you'd be correct!

seriously though?! in the last s&m episode, hau was shown battling nanu. we can assume that he completed all of the island challenges by the time ash came back to alola, right? so... why did they never get to have a second battle? or... even interact at all??? it's genuinely so sad because with two kids eager to battle with passion, you'd think they'd be shown interacting and battling way more! but they don't!!!! hau hardly got ANYTHING throughout both seasons. fuck- he got basically NOTHING in journeys! honestly, the 5- no, it's closer to 3 - seconds he appears in journeys almost feels like a slap on the face for anyone who EVER wanted to see ash and hau interact again.

i mean i could say similar things about a lot of the rivals in journeys, mind you. but at least in the seasons they were introduced they were treated WELL. hau just. wasn't. which makes me so sad...

sorry for the long ass rant i just felt sad about one of my favourite pokemon characters and i hope others feel the same

[ageless-aislynn]

For the writers emojis ❤ 💕 🎬 please?

Aw, thank you so much for sending me something! 😁

❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

Ooo, that's a tough one, kinda like trying to choose your favorite child, right? But I have to say that one line that I know for sure that got a lot of mentions is from "Side Effects" (John/Kai, Halo) NSFW chapter 2 . It's John's response to Cortana telling him to say something complimentary to Kai during a rather, ahem, intimate moment. I don't know why, but I can just HEAR him earnestly, sincerely saying what he then says to Kai. 😳😂 I had quite a few people respond with varying degrees of AISLYNN, ZOMG, to that one, lol!

(For those who haven't read it and don't want to jump into a very graphic fic, I'll summarize by saying that he tells her she has a very lovely body part that most people don't end up getting complimented on in polite company. But he's so SINCERE about it and they're so comfortable with each other that she's not insulted or offended or anything, and that it honestly makes it feel rather sweet to me. But I'm the weirdo writing this smut stuff so I don't know if my judgment is 100% correct here or not, lol!)

💕 What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Obviously, I love all of my bbs BUT... There are a few that are just a little nearer and dearer to my heart. So I won't feel so biased towards my latest works, here are ones from the couple of fandoms I've written in: (in alphabetical order😉)

Arrow: "Five Times Oliver Held Felicity (And The One Time She Held Him)" (Olicity) - This one just... I don't know. We were still pretty earlier in the show and I had NO idea if they would ever become canon or even get a kiss at this point. This was just all a bunch of my own wish fulfillment moments put together in a fic. I also could've mentioned a line from it for the above answer (if my brain hadn't immediately gone to the Naughty Place™😳😉):

He held her like she was spun-glass fragile and infinitely breakable, but he knew the truth. Between the two of them, she was far, far stronger in all the ways that really mattered. She always had been.

Doctor Who: "Balancing Act" (Ten/Donna) NSFW - My very first multi-chaptered fic (and for many years my only one). I learned so much writing this one and I had such an amazing time with all of the wonderful friends I gained from them interacting with it! Plus, I loved getting the chance to fix Donna's unfortunate fate in a bawdy yet romantic way. 😉

Halo: "15 Minutes" (John/Reader) - I was still feeling-out writing Reader fics when I did this one (which was originally just a one-shot) and... *beckons you closer* if it feels a little more like an unnamed OC instead of a reader insert, that's because that was what it was originally going to be. 😱😁 I made the decision to go as a Reader fic very late in the thought process and ultimately, I'm happy with the choice. However, yes, that does mean that the Reader, at one time, had a name. But no, I can't tell you what it was. 🤐😉

The Flash: "By Any Other" (Eobard/Frost) - I have a LOT of Flash fics and they all mean something to me for one reason or another but, looking back, this was the first one where I really FELT my own connection to the characters. This was written in season 1, we had no idea for sure if we would be getting Caitlin as Killer Frost, so I decided to make my own version. Her powers were obviously more inspired by her comic book version, then altered further by me. What I ended up loving about this particular pairing, though, was something that wasn't planned at all: Caitlin is by far the more broken of the two of them in this series. I don't have any plans to add any more fics to Partners In Crime but, at the same time, I don't want to mark it finished. I like to think that these two are still existing out there somewhere in the far fields of my imagination, getting into trouble and loving each other a lot. ❄⚡

🎬 If a movie or show were based on your fic, which fic would you choose and who would you fancast?

Ohhh, mannnn, the possibilities! 😂 I mean, some of my fics would have to go straight to, like, HBO Max or worse, lol! But, trying NOT to pick from my unrepentant smut-fest fics...

"The Thousandth and the First" (Eobard/Caitlin, The Flash) is definitely one I would've loved to have seen actually portrayed on screen. It's one of my most "complete" fics in many ways: it's not just all jokes and laughs but it does have humor, it's not all smexy tiems but it does have some R rated love scenes (not nearly as graphic as some of my rated E/NC17 fics, though), it has a bit of sadness, it has some hard decisions and, ultimately, it's the only "realistic" way I felt I could redeem Eobard within the constraints of this story for the evil he had done.

Secondly, because I'm ignoring the fact I was supposed to just pick ONE, lol... You might know it used to be common for shows to have, like, 24 eps in a season and have time to do things like what-ifs? I'd love to see an episode of Halo where "Trust" (Kai, Cortana) showed us how things could've played out if Kai would've been the Blessed One instead of John and thus ended up getting Cortana in his place.

I think they would be a formidable pair, lol! 😁

Since all of my work is based on shows, I'd just leave the casting as it is. 😉

Thanks again! 😎👍

Fanfic Writer Ask Game

[maganne-bonete]

I think this might be the most stressful birthday week by far and it's only Tuesday.

I've been aware that my grandfather had dementia maybe weeks or more than a month ago but the thought of it has been troubling me lately.

Recently my bitch of an aunt went to my grandfather's house and ended up arguing with my cousin who's living there. She pulled out a phone to record him and threatened to send the police at him for idk what reason. My sibling and I had to question on what grounds exactly, and my mom even said that she really doesn't have any. My dad questioned my grandfather abt it but since his memory's been deteriorating, he doesn't even know who she was anymore.

But it pisses me off on the fact of how much many of my relatives were so shitty to my grandfather and cousin to begin with. Not that I have full context nor are they shitty towards them 24/7, but my mom jokes that my dad becomes an only child everynight just to take care of my grandpa, despite all our relatives living much closer and my dad being the 7th son of my grandfather. My cousin couldn't take care of him anymore since he started being hostile towards him because of his condition. So it really isn't like I could have a good view on the situation either.

And my cousin, who's an orphan and couldn't afford his own house, constantly gets berated by my aunts growing up and barely ever supported him. It mostly had to be my parents even who made sure he finished highschool and got a degree. My parents even suggested the idea of letting him live with us if he ever get's kicked from there by my other aunt who moved into the house cause of some tradition. Traditionally in our province the youngest kid gets to inherit the parent's house once the time comes but my grandfather is literally still alive. It puts a bad taste in my mouth. (Same aunt never invited my mom or my dad's side of the family to her wedding either)

But it's been also really troubling me how my grandfather's been lately. He even thinks my dad's his grandson rather than his actual son these days. Like, I feel like I haven't spent enough time with him at all and now he's slowly forgetting everything. And as much as how I've been bitching abt my relatives I don't think I'm any better either.

Maybe it's because I'm sad that he probably doesn't remember the times I've been delivering food for him from our house. Or the times he's driven the jeepney just to bring me and my cousins back and forth to school. He was still okay earlier this year when we celebrated his birthday but so much has already happened.

There's this sense of grief I've been feeling it seems. Forgetting is a fate worse than dying, and it makes me wished that I've asked more abt his life straight from his mouth. It's like I allowed him to die this way to begin with.

Like, I'm not an idiot. I, of all people should've tried asking him, writing abt him, recording his stories. He was a boy during the world war and he even worked out of country. There's probably a lot I didn't know that I could only now hear from my father instead. And I just allowed him to die like this even if I knew I should've done better. I should know because history has always been my passion and now, and especially one day, I would pay the price for my laziness and inaction.

There may only be my mother's mother left. She's in Manila right now and even she doesn't have forever. I need to make the right questions. Ask about the times she's lived. Even she was a child during the world wars. Their house in Bikol got bombed directly the moment they left the building. That story still horrifies me and keeps me up sometimes. They could've died there.

Idk, there's just so much I also need to do but this feeling I've been having, this dread, has been eating me up.

[threeletterslife]

It's been slightly over a year that I joined Tumblr because I had somehow discovered 'fanfiction '. All this time I have read many wonderful stories and came across equally wonderful storytellers. Some very memorable. Lately I have been feeling that I must have read it all, this community even though seems big, is not necessarily indefinite after all. I was contemplating leaving the platform. But then, I discovered you and your story 'Legend of Darlaria'. The enthusiasm I felt when I first discovered fanfiction has to a great extent reemerged it seems. I stayed awake all night reading the chapters.....my imagination running wild and alive, comparing it to popular fantasy novels and media that I enjoy very much.

You have single handedly made me stay. Looking forward to reading rest of the story. You are a very talented storyteller. And shall remain memorable for me. I hope great opportunities find you and more and more people get to enjoy such work. Beyond fanfiction.

wow!! first off, i am so grateful! it's such an honor for you to say that i made you stay. (like who could've imagined that??? definitely not me)

when i came up with the idea of lod my senior year of high school, i knew i wouldn't stop until i finished the story, but i also never thought to think that people would actually read the longass thing and enjoy it. i just wrote something that i thought needed to be written. i'm just so amazed at how everything's turned out. throughout the one-year process of writing act i, i've learned a lot of things about myself—not as a writer but as a person. a lot of my life experiences inevitably made it into the story, and a lot of the characters have become almost real people to me, especially my mcs! so i'm honestly a little proud looking back at the progress i've made too (i didn't appreciate the story enough when i was writing it earlier in the year)

i'm a very lucky writer to have a reader like you. i wish you an amazing new year!!

[artem-wing-wife]

MR. STREAMER ALERT! || CP.3

" I guess I can stay for a bit, until the rain stops though " he sigh in defeat, but face the man again " Mind if I borrow your shower? I want to take a bit break with the water "

" Sure? Do you want to borrow my clothes by any chance? " Cyno then take Tighnari's bag. " I have a spare room, if you want to stay for the night. I don't mind having you around "

" Well, then it decides then, I will stay for a night. I do need a new fresh pair of clothes though, I will clean them and give them back to you tomorrow ", Tighnari smiles to Cyno with made him flinched.

' Damn, you are so adorable, please don't do that to me, Nari ' Cyno thought himself.

" Okay then, the bathroom on the left, I'll be at my room " Cyno then walk to his room with the bag.

Tighnari just sigh again and walk himself to the bathroom. His eyes are blessed by how well decorated and clean the bathroom is. Who is he to judge, Cyno is wealthy after all!

" Oh my god, this is my kind of dream! " Tighnari squeaks, tail's wagging excitedly.

' Wait, I'm not here for fun, I'm just want to have a nice shower ', he face palms himself.

' Well, I will put my clothes here first then '

Tighnari slowly undress himself, his small waist showing around. Standing naked around the chilled room himself, he turn on the hot shower. As the water slowly drop on his white pale skin, the man himself hums a random song. He slowly open his eyes to enjoy the heat and smile to himself, calmly.

' This is so nice. I wish I can stay here forever '

" Nari, my love. I'm here with your clothes, can I come in? " Cyno standing outside the bathroom, only the door standing between him and the naked fennec.

" Stop with the nickname, Cyno. You can just put the clothes outside. Don't come in or I swear, I will bite your neck off! "

" Not a bad idea... My, my... " Cyno smirks and chuckle himself " I'm coming in "

" Wait! " the door open and Cyno look at the fennec who is covering his lower body with his tail, blushing to him. " I... I told you not to come in! Why would you come! Now, get out! " Tighnari pull the curtain to cover his body.

" F-Fuck! I'm sorry! " Cyno ran out the bathroom and went to his room, panting like he ran a marathon.

' D-Damn, is that what I could've see if I get to talk to him earlier... I am surely not going to let him go. He's perfect... ' Cyno smiling to himself ' Fuck! I forgot that I have to stream today! ' Cyno quickly close his door shut and open Twitch and starts streaming.

" Hi, it's Mahamantra Live, sorry that I didn't stream earlier! I was, doing something.... " Cyno huffed and the chat was immediately flooded with fans.

[ $1K Donated by @MahamantraFan05

— Why are you late for 10 minutes today? ]

Cyno just slightly smile to the camera and say,

" I have to do something earlier, so yeah, that's why "

[ $5K Donated by @SussyMahamantra69

— What are you streaming today? Am I late? ]

" No, uh... I don't wanna say your name, but I actually just start the stream. I haven't choose anything to play yet "

[ $500 Donated by @Haitham'sWife

— Oh? Play Minecraft? ,]

" Sure, why not? Anyways, I will put my headphones on now, so, I can't hear any donations come out from the chat ok? "

The chat filled with 'OK's' and lot of thirst messages to him which is actually a weird thing to get as a streamer.

" Ok then, you all Jackals, I'll be on Bedwars, feel free to come ", Cyno then adjusting his camera and waiting for his Minecraft to load.

__________________________________________________

Tighnari finally finished with his beauty shower and changed to Cyno's hoodie and shorts. Standing near the mirror, he stare to his reflection from head to toe, Tighnari swirling around to look at himself.

' Why is it look, cute in me? This oversized hoodie does feel great. How big is this guy even is? I know he is taller than me, that's for sure. But, wait... If he have a big body and tall, he must have a big d— WAIT! I SHOULDN'T THINK THIS WAY!? ' Tighnari then slowly walk to the designated room for him to stay and find out that his bag is nowhere to be find.

" Eh? Didn't he say he's going to put it here? " Tighnari talk to himself then slowly walk to Cyno's room. He calmly knock the door, but no respond. Only Cyno who is screaming ' Die! ' and ' GG '. Again, he knock, still no response.

" Hey! Cyno! It's Tighnari! I want my bag, please? ", Still no response. " I'm coming in "

And shocked, Tighnari just froze to look that Cyno is streaming with the face cam on, focusing to his side, which made the chat able to see him. Panicked, Tighnari then shout,

" Cyno! " which made the man stare at him.

Tighnari little sweater paw melts his soul and then he shook his head to see, Tighnari actually trying to hide from the camera. " Nari, my love. Come here! "

" Oh shut up! You didn't tell me that you are streaming! "

" My, what with the attitude "

" I want my bag... "

Cyno quits Bedwars and walk towards Tighnari, with his bag. " Come here, I need to talk " Cyno drag him out the room, leaving his stream on.

Chat went wild and Cyno's donations is non stop beeping after seeing Tighnari.

- WHO IS THATS HOT GUY?!

- he so cute...

- Isn't he one of my uni-mate?

- MAHAMANTRA HAD A LOVER, NOOOOOOO

Pinned by the wall, Tighnari nervous ask him.

" W-What do you want to talk about? "

" The chat saw you, and I accidentally called you by the petnames.. urgh, so, you have to pretend to be my lover from now on.. " Cyno smirks. " Don't worry, Nari. I'll not give you to other people... "

" This is ridiculous! It just a misunderstanding! You can't just let your fans control you! "

" But, I always told my fans that I was in love with you, Nari... "

" The hell? What do you mean by that then? "

" I have been in love with you, Nari.. And you should too... Please ... " Cyno cupped the other man face, almost trying to kiss him. " Fuck, you are so adorable in my clothes... "

" I-I can try! But please, I don't want any of your fans to attack me! "

" Sure, don't worry... " Cyno then brightly smile to him. " Cash—ew later, baby... I have a stream to do "

Tighnari still froze, then blush appears on his face.

' I can't believe I accepted that! '

________________________________________________

Yeah, I thought I can make a smut here, but no lol

Chp1

[opalesense]

more than friends

kaeya & gn!reader

2k words • ~15 min. read

summary: feeling down in the dumps on a lonely valentine’s day evening, you are met with a pleasant surprise from your close friend, kaeya.

warnings: just pure lovesick fluff!!  shy kaeya my beloved... <3

notes: i defrosted this draft from valentine’s day aahhh hope you like it!! ;^; p.s. shoutout if you can spot his canon voice lines in this hehehe

SITTING WITH MY BACK ON THE FOUNTAIN WALL and watching the rotating blades of the windmills in Mondstadt was not how I expected to spend my evening on Valentine's Day.

   To be honest, Valentine's Day was never that big of a deal to me.  For the past few years, I always considered Valentine's Day to be a day where vendors could get a boost of profit by exploiting the gift-giving aspect of the holiday and selling their wares to cheesy couples who wouldn't know any better.  Why was there a dedicated day to be sweet to your significant other?  Couldn't special gifts be given at any other time of the year?

  Despite my indifference to Valentine's Day, I couldn't help but feel a little lonely this year.  My back purposely faced the couples of Mondstadt who would walk by now and then on their way to their dates and instead I had windmills to accompany me along with a book to pass the time.  I figured my evening stroll outside wouldn't make me feel so disappointed in myself, but I was proven sorely wrong.  I couldn't even look at other people today without feeling sorry for myself.

   "[Y/N]?" a familiar voice drew closer behind me, interrupting my lament and startling me.  "What are you doing here all alone?"

   I turned my head to see my close friend and neighbor Kaeya approaching me, carrying a small leather pack along with his sheathed sword on his waist.  I realized he probably finished his shift at the Knights of Favonius headquarters and was just about to head home.  The sight of him eased some of my worries knowing that despite my usual solitude, at least I would talk to one person today.  "Just reading a book," I held up the cover of my book for him to see.  He gave a small nod to the title as I put it back down into my lap.  "How did you even spot me here?"

   "I can see you from my office," he pointed at a window on the wall of the headquarters, "You chose quite an odd spot for reading, dear friend. You must be uncomfortable on the ground like that.”

   I nervously laughed, not wanting to admit that I sat behind this fountain to avoid looking at how much fun everyone else was having.  My gaze turned to the sky, a vibrant orange that now began fading into a shadow of dark blue sprinkled with stars.  Dusk was approaching. “I suppose it is getting a little late for reading, now that I think about it.  I think I might head home now."

   "Allow me to accompany you on your walk home.  I’m headed that way, after all," he quickly offered as I began to prop myself up to my feet.  He held out his hand to help me on my way up, the sudden physical contact sending a shiver down my spine.  As clearly touch deprived as I was, my hand quickly pulled away once I was standing and dusted off my clothes, which were wrinkled from sitting for so long today.

   "You are too kind, Kaeya," I grinned, earning a grin back from him.  Maybe this is my loneliness speaking for me, but I swear that smile might have made my heart skip a beat.  Although I may have had a crush on Kaeya for the past few months, there was no way I’d ever let those thoughts resurface now.  I've done a good job of repressing the feelings for so long, whether I was around him or not.  At least, I thought I did.

   As we walked, it suddenly dawned on me that the feelings never truly went away.  They were persistent for months, despite being suppressed.  He was my closest friend for quite some time now.  So maybe it was a sign that it was meant to be...

   Chills ran down my spine at this realization.  And once the truth had settled in, the feelings I thought I had managed to stow away suddenly flooded my mind in a storm of emotion.  The more we talked during the walk home, the more eager my heart was to open up and let the thought of him fill the cavernous, lonely void inside.  My eyes nervously turned to our feet, which stepped together in perfect sync.  My attention darted to the hand at his side, which I ached to touch once more.  The more I tried to fight this longing, to forget about it and keep it isolated, the more it fought back in an effort to stay alive.

   "[Y/N]?" his sultry voice snapped me out of my delusion.  Do NOT let your emotions take control of you, I scolded myself.

   "Sorry," I shuffled my feet towards his figure, which had stopped a few meters away.  The world seemed to stop when I was lost in thought, and with each step I took towards him, the world slowly resumed from where I mentally left it.

   "Is something wrong?" he asked, now concerned.  "You know you can talk to me."

   "No, no.  I'm fine," I gripped my book, fighting the urge to break in front of him.  "I'm just a little lost in my thoughts."

   "Well then, what's on your mind?"

   "Kaeya, you won't make fun of me if I’m being honest with you right?" I started to speak without thinking.  No, no, no!  What are you about to say?!

   "What makes you think I would?  C’mon, [Y/N].  We joke around a lot but you know I'm good with secrets."

   What are you doing?!  Don’t fall under pressure like this!

   "Well...  I’ve felt quite lonely today.  A little part in me hurts to see so many people enjoying Valentine's Day, knowing fully well that I live alone and spend most of my days alone...   I guess what I’m trying to say is that it was very kind of you to go out of your way to talk to me today, Kaeya.  It means a lot more to me than you know."

   The silence that followed that regurgitation of thoughts was lethal.  Kaeya didn't even stop.  We just kept walking.  I ignored the instant regret that pounded the walls in my head.

   "So you didn't have any plans today?" he asked, as if he had just ignored everything I told him.

   "Not at all.  I was taking a stroll to find a good reading spot for today but seeing so many couples together...  I guess it was like pouring salt into the wound.  That's why I was sitting turned away from everything, if that answers your question from earlier."

   Now you've just told him too much.  If he didn't already think you were sad and lonely before, he definitely thinks so now.

   "You shouldn't isolate yourself like that, [Y/N].  We could've– forget it, actually," he chuckled and rested his hand on the back of his neck as we finally approached our residential complex.

   "Hey, spit it out!" I nudged him with my elbow, "I poured out my thoughts for you, don't get all shy now.  It's your turn."

   We stopped at my front door, exchanging small chuckles.  The space between us was killing me. If only I could get enveloped by his warm embrace now... No!

   "How about I tell you later?  Meet me here in around ten minutes."

   "What?!" I scoffed, "Now you’re just toying with me."

   "Ten minutes," he gave me one last grin and a short wave before jogging away towards his own house.  I shook my head as I turned the key to my door, feeling the slamming of my heart against my ribs and the sloppy mix of awe, nervousness, and regret boiling in my stomach.  His smile was frozen inside my mind like a photograph capturing a memory. It hurt to like him this much.

   A knock on my door ten minutes later pulled me away from tending to my plants on my balcony.  I set the watering can down and rushed to the door, straightening out my clothes once more before opening it.  Contrary to my expectations, Kaeya stood in the doorway with a shy grin, his hands obviously hiding something behind his back.

   "I thought you were joking when you said ten minutes," I scoffed and crossed my arms, looking up at him to meet a pair of soft eyes.

   "Still don't have plans for tonight?" his eyebrows raised with the question.

   "No.  What, are you about to take me out on a date or something?" I said in jest.  He chuckled and uncrossed his arms behind his back with slight hesitation before revealing a dainty bouquet of calla lilies tied with a silver ribbon.  My jaw dropped slightly in shock with the sight of the charming white petals.

   "I am, actually," his voice was gentler and sweeter than usual.  "These are for you."

   He motioned for me to take the bouquet, which I gladly accepted.  The subtle fragrance reminded me of his own scent, which made me smile.  I secretly wished my entire house would smell like this unforgettable aroma – this unforgettable man.

   "[Y/N]," his words were laced with hesitation, "I have been waiting weeks to tell you this but...  you are constantly on my mind.  Whenever I see you my heart jumps and..."

   He chuckled with nervousness.  That grin never fails to make my chest light up.

   "...and I know you're not going to believe me because you say I smooth talk everyone, but I promise you, [Y/N].  I know you see that I’m nervous right now – that doesn't happen to me with anyone else.  This feeling hasn't gone away for months.”  Instant regret suddenly painted his face, which I quickly took notice of.  I stepped closer to him and lifted my hand to gently cup his warm, blushing cheek.  It was my way of telling him to keep talking without interrupting him.

   "[Y/N]..." he blushed more at the touch and sighed, "you are so special to me and... I’ll get straight to the point. I want to be more than friends. I really mean it.”

   He stuffed his hands in his pockets and waited eagerly for my response.  I was no longer thinking properly.  My heart had taken over my mind, and for once, it was for my benefit.

   "Kaeya," my voice cracked with a million emotions at once, "you have no clue how long I’ve wanted to hear you say that.  I am so in love with you it makes me sick," I admitted lightheartedly.

   He laughed with relief, taking another step closer to me and shrinking the space between us.  He lifted his hand to grab mine and intertwined our fingers together.  The mood shifted from nerve wrecking intensity to reassurance and gentleness the instant our palms met.  He caressed my hand with his gloved thumb for reassurance, chasing all my troubles away.  "I promise I will never let you feel alone ever again."

   We stood there staring into each other's eyes for a few moments, exchanging so many mutual emotions in mere seconds.  A blush began to creep up my face as well when he gave my hand a squeeze accompanied with a proud smile.

   "Well, now that we're both blushing messes in love with each other, how about we finally go out tonight?"  Our friendly dynamic finally returned to clear the thickness in the air once he broke the silence.  "I have to admit, I was feeling a little lonely myself and was just going to drink at the tavern with some of the other Knights tonight.”

   "Not anymore, I hope?"

   "Definitely not.  I’d rather spend the evening holding your hand and taking a stroll through the city so everyone knows I’m finally yours."

   This man sure knows how to say the right thing.  I glanced at the bouquet in my arms, partly to hide my reddened face but also to ask, "Could I put these in a vase first?  They're beautiful, by the way. I really love calla lilies.”

   "Oh yes, of course. But they’re not as beautiful as you, cutie," Kaeya said with no reluctance.

 There's the flirty Kaeya that I know.

 I let out a shy laugh as he let go of my hand, the loss of touch making me pout.  As I turned to put the flowers away, he leaned on the doorframe and let out a deep breath.

    "Well, I'll be here.  Don't make me wait too long, now."

[newbie-whumping]

So something most of you probably don't know (and frankly, not your fault! I usually don't talk about myself on here) is that I really love Billie Eilish. Realized today that she released a new song and holy shit the mental PMV for this -

Anyway, as such, say hello to a whump songfic :)

Sometimes you look the same / just like you did before the accident

It's been years since Gaster died, years since they've all been finally, finally free of that man. So much has changed - Asriel can walk again, mostly without help. Kat is smiling again and purring as strong as she ever had. Ky is physical, and as ever, Brooke's best friend - and yet so much is the same. Looking over at her husband's sleeping face, she smiles. Sometimes, especially when they're asleep, it's just like when they were kids having sleepovers at Asgore's, huddled together in a cuddle puddle.

God, she loves him so much. She loves them both so much. She sits up, careful not to disturb either, and heads into the bathroom for her morning routine.

When you're staring into space, / it's hard to believe you don't remember it

She catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror as she splashes water on her face and pauses for a moment, halfway to reaching a washcloth. Out of the three of them, she feels she looks the most different. She's grown her hair out, a personal act of healing, since she usually kept it short during the rebellion. She still has a scar across her cheekbone that strains to reach the bridge of her nose - a souvenir from a particularly annoying run-in with the Secret Police. There's lines marking her skin, testaments to her aging. Remarkable how fast that seems to happen for someone in their thirties.

Brooke shakes her head, her hand finishing the motion of grabbing the washcloth to dry her face off. She proceeds to use the toilet and then shower. She's been getting lost in the past a lot lately, thinking a lot about the rebellion, about things that could've been, could've changed. About Kat in the hospital, all but lifeless, struggling even with the hope Ky brought. About Asriel and his hobbies, the track meet he never got to attend because of the accident. She doesn't know if he remembers it that well. He never claims to.

Woke up in the ambulance; / you pieced it all together on the drive. / I know you don't remember calling me, / but I told you even then you look so pretty. / In a hospital bed, / I remember you said / you were scared, / and so was I

She sat in the chair next to his bed, more numb than she wished she was. He wasn't awake yet, and she just waited. It felt like hours, weeks, seconds, before he finally spoke.

"Hey B."

She glanced up, shifting to sit straighter. "Hey fluffy boy." She managed a weak smile, which he returned.

Silence prevailed for a while. "Your mom's doing okay," she finally said.

"I know. She came in earlier. She doesn't really remember how we crashed; people seem to think it was a drunk driver."

"Do you?"

He paused. "I don't really know what else it could've been," he responded. "Mom didn't just randomly lose control. Or have an episode. They usually don't happen when she drives, y'know?"

"Yeah." Brooke had a suspicion that was partly a product of Gaster's doing. As ever when it came to him, though, she had no proof. "At least you get to rock a hospital gown."

He cracked a smile. "Leading the fashion front this year."

"You totally could. You could rock anything." She smiled in return.

He laughed a bit. "You're biased 'cause you love me."

"Maybe so, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong."

"If you say so."

They fell into a comfortable silence. After a moment, she asked hesitantly, "Do you remember anything about it?"

He shook his head, wincing a bit. "No. I know it was bad, though. Couldn't even heal me with magic."

"Guess that rules out the upcoming track meet then, huh?" Brooke tried for a bigger smile. She knew he would be fine, he'd come back from worse. He came back from dying so many times; whatever injuries came from the crash, he'd get over them easily.

He looked away. There was a beat before he responded. "Might not do track next year."

"You'll be better by then," she shrugged.

Asriel sighed then. "No. I don't think I will."

"C'mon, Azzy. It's not like you to be pessimistic," she frowned.

"I'm not being pessimistic, Brooke. You know I'm not." He looked back at her, green eyes holding a world of exhaustion.

"I don't know that, actually." She felt anger starting to bubble up, brought from annoyance. "Cause it really sounds like you are."

"I'm really not. Doing track next year would be a miracle," Asriel persisted.

"I don't see how. You're gonna heal up in maybe three months tops, and I know you're gonna be itching to get back into it."

"Stop it," he said.

"Stop what? Trying to remind you you aren't hopeless?" Brooke's voice rose. "I'm not doing that, Azzy."

"Stop trying to act like everything is fine," he said, voice hardening.

"Everything is fine! Not now, but it's gonna be!"

"No it's not. Stop acting like it."

"I'm not gonna stop, Dreemurr! You're not acting yourself!" Heat and anger were seeping into her voice.

"I'm not going to be able to do track, Brooke! Not ever!" It was his turn for his voice to rise.

"One car crash isn't the end of the world; Jesus!"

"How am I supposed to do track when I'm paralyzed, Brooke?" he shouted.

She froze, the sudden silence deafening. "You're what?" she managed.

His anger still showed on his face, despite his voice returning to an inside level. "You didn't know?"

"I - no. No one..." It was like the anger was punched right out of her, replaced by shock.

"Well. Now you know." He looked away again.

Brooke tried finding something, anything to say. Finally, she managed, "I'm sorry."

He shrugged bitterly. "Sorry isn't gonna fix me."

"I know." She was quiet.

After several minutes, Asriel spoke again. "You know, I've lived through so much. Done so much, things I'm not proud of. Lived through so many timelines. But I think right now I'm something I haven't been since... Since Chara died, and that whole - fiasco." He finally looked back at her, and the vulnerability she saw there broke her heart right along with his next words. "I'm scared, Brooke."

She went to respond, to hold his hand, to offer reassurance. She never got the chance as a nurse entered, looking concerned. "Are you alright, Asriel? I heard shouting."

"Yeah. We're fine." His voice had returned to the tired tone from before.

The nurse took a look at the heart monitor, then at the clock on the wall. Addressing Brooke, it said, "Asriel needs to rest. It's getting late."

"Okay." She glanced at him. He had returned to looking at the wall. She got up. "See you tomorrow?"

"Sure." He tried to smile at her. She offered one back.

Brooke nodded thanks to the nurse as she left. She felt tears prick her eyes and fought them back.

In a standstill on the 5, / thought it was unusually early traffic; / usually I don't panic. I / just wanted to be on time. / When I saw the ambulances on the shoulder, / I didn't even think of pulling over. / I pieced it all together late that night

Brooke still remembers that conversation more vividly than she wishes she did. It was such a hard thing to accept. Especially when she'd realized that night that she'd seen the ambulances around the crash site on the way to visiting Kat.

Her mom had rocked her as she'd cried on the couch. They were sixteen at the time - she felt so childish for needing the reassurance, the comfort - but it was nice to be held after Toriel's call. Her mom knew how much Asriel means to her - they'd been dating, of course he meant so much to her.

And I know you don't remember calling me, / but I told you even then you look so pretty. / In a hospital bed, / I remember you said / you were scared, / and so was I

The worst part had been being the one to tell Kat. The small monster had been in love with Asriel since... Well, none of them are really sure. Brooke thinks it was when they were going through the Underground, Kat thinks it was when he regained his body, Asriel thinks it was sometime long before either of those. Brooke and Kat disagree with him on the basis of him getting time confused a lot where the Underground is concerned, aside from when she'd been there.

The look on Kat's face had been pure devestation. Brooke couldn't even hold her hand because of the restrictions the ward had, and that still hurts to this day. She'd had her own mother, but Kat couldn't even be comforted by her best friend. The best she could settle for was asking for updates, and she did, constantly.

Brooke dresses and pulls her hair into a ponytail to dry, heading for the kitchen. She casts a glance at the bed as she passes - Asriel and Kat are still asleep, with the latter snuggled up to the former, as always. Brooke smiles a bit and continues on so she can make breakfast.

What if it happened to you on a different day? On a bridge where there wasn't a rail in the way? Or a neighborhood street where the little kids play? Or the Angeles Crest in the snow or the rain? What if you weren't alone; there were kids in the car? What if you were remote, no one knows where you are? If you changed anything, would you not have survived? You're alive, you're alive, you're alive

She gets to work on some hash browns, choosing to make them from scratch instead of grabbing the bag from the freezer. It's not something she does often - usually Azzy is the one to put more effort into food - but it feels right today.

Her mind continues to think about the past, stubbornly centering around Asriel and the accident. Even today, they don't know how the crash happened. She, Kat, and Ky are pretty certain it was engineered by Gaster - Asriel lost his ability to reset around the same time, not that he tried to use it much once they left Mt. Ebott - but whatever investigation went on was quickly wrapped up, and there was never enough evidence gathered to be conclusive. So the official statement is that it was a drunk driver hit and run.

In some ways, Brooke is glad that it happened near the town hall. Night Vale is many things, with many different levels of danger in any given area. The town hall is relatively safe. He and Toriel could've been out by route 800, somewhere where there wasn't a railing, and they could have gone spiraling into the desert. It could've been near their house, where kids have always been known to run around and play. It could've been out in Desert Bluffs, so vastly different from Night Vale at the time, when they had a blizzard or pouring rain; it could've been somewhere on the way to a different town entirely, somewhere they didn't have connection to Night Vale, somewhere no one would be able to find, it could have been in Radon Canyon where few can survive without masks or air, they could've been destroyed by the day's calamity, anything could have happened and he would've been gone right alongside Toriel, two people who have been there for her and loved her even if she wasn't a monster or had any obligation to them and how could she have lived and how could Kat have lived she loved him so much she loved Toriel so much it would've destroyed her Brooke could've lost her too and she's panicking now she knows she is it's okay Asriel is alive he's alive he's alive he's -

A gentle touch to her back has Brooke whirling around to fight because here, now, it's inevitable with Gaster in charge, and she's already holding something so she swings and -

She finds herself immobile and then turned carefully, sees the brown-tipped ears come into view followed by the cream head and baby blue pajamas and then she turns and -

It's just Kat, looking at her with a face full of concern. "Brooke?"

As she takes reality back in, Brooke recognizes a burning smell, and a burning sensation in her hand. She reflexively drops whatever she's holding, and it clatters to the floor.

And I know you don't remember calling me, / but I told you even then you looked so pretty / in your hospital bed / I remember you said / you were scared. / And so am I

"Are you okay, love?"

Kat, sweet Kat; always concerned for others even when she could be in danger. Brooke tries to get her mouth to work properly, but it won't cooperate. She dimly recognizes she has full control of her body again, and that she's leaning against the counter.

Kat moves to rest against her, both supporting her and giving her the ability to ground by purring and letting her run her hands through her thick, soft fur.

"The hash browns," Brooke finally manages.

"I moved them, don't worry babe." Kat butts her head gently against her wife's.

"Thanks."

Kat nods, hopping off the counter and taking Brooke's hand. She leads the human over to the couch, where she proceeds to cuddle up and continue to purr. Brooke resumes petting her, feeling the anxiety slowly ebb away.

"I was trying to make the good ones," she says after a moment. "Did they burn?"

Kat hesitates. "I think they did," she admits. She sits up, reaching for Brooke's hand. "I think you burned your hand, too."

"It's fine," Brooke says, flexing it and immediately feeling the burn flare up.

"May I?" Kat glances up at her.

Looking at her wife, Brooke can't find a no in her, so she nods. Gently, always gentle, Kat takes her hand in her paws. They glow for a moment, and Brooke feels the pain fade. It helps to bridge that last bit between her and reality as well, and she kisses the top of the cat monster's head. "Thanks babe."

Kat smiles at her, but it fades quickly. "Are you alright, Brooke? You weren't answering me, and you were really startled."

The human exhales slowly. "I... Got a little too caught up in the past," she says, adding quietly, "Thinking about Azzy."

Kat nods, leaning against her. "He's okay now. We all are. More or less," she adds as Brooke snorts.

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess we are." Brooke smiles faintly. "He up yet?"

Kat shakes her head.

"Good. I don't want him to know about the hash brown failure."

That gets her wife to giggle. "He'd eat them anyway, you know he would."

"Yeah, but he shouldn't," Brooke snickers. She gets up. "Wanna help me with something simpler?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"Probably scrambled eggs."

"Sure."

[whaleofatjme1920]

Valentines Letters: Part Two~

(Continuation of the last letter, and the final entry!! Hehehehfhehfjf)

[Disclaimer: Letters To Those You Hold Dear (Valentine's Edition) is a special event I'm holding from February 13th - February 23rd 11:59 PM. Find the guidelines HERE so you can send a letter or two to those you hold dear <3. Further note: try not to submit a post, they get far too long. Not a dig on the asker, don't worry! Just a future note.]

The letter was hastily written, as if in the midst of a panic through the first half. Tears cake the pages, but from the lack of blood things seem to have been resolved to some extent behind the scenes. However, a large amount of sarcasm rings through the written response, mostly the first half, almost mockingly— it's only heightened by the harsh "M." written atop the page.

M.—

I'm close, very close to the base. I apologize for not writing sooner, and I apologize for not telling you where I was— I will see you soon, and hopefully, we can discuss this in person instead of on a stupid piece of paper. However, I must get something straight, Scout. Do you genuinely think you had any right to speak to me the way you did? You care, you're upset, I get it. I admit, it was wrong of me to make you so nervous, but you have to take a moment to understand my point of view. For all I knew, it could've been the last time we'd get to speak— would you rather I left abruptly without meaning or cause after all I've admit? To have nothing to let you know why I was suddenly missing? I didn't want to mention it, in fact, I didn't want to think even about it— but you leave me no choice. My job is simple, I get paid, I finish the task, I leave. This task was supposed to be all the same, I meet them in a specific place and time, we discuss the details, we end our interaction— but, do you wish to know who it is they requested I kill? Do you wish to know the true reason I declined the request, why I'm in the situation I am now? Surely you don't, but since your attitude holds spite remark throughout it— I'll tell you anyways. It was you. It was a late night after multiple days on a travel to France, I usually discuss my transactions in person for a more... dignified and realistic approach.

It was supposed to be just like any other, I didn't think anything of it when I travelled, as foolish as that was— I definitely didn't expect your name to be on my hitlist. Do you see now how I got into this mess? Why I'm bleeding? Why I wrote a letter to you so abruptly without much thought beforehand?

You can only think so much when bleeding out and in a panic, that guy was a fucking brute. Violent, unhinged. Worst client I'd ever had the unfortune of nearly working with. It was supposed to be one on one, for safety reasons on my side-— but he brought his thugs behind my back, I was cornered— I barely made it out alive to begin with. I'd have given you my location, but at the time I didn't make it far— I'd already gone through it all and I couldn't risk putting you in danger as well, why risk both of our lives when you were the one I sought to protect in the first place? That's idiotic, and I'm embarrassed you'd even suggest that. I don't blame you, however— I should've been honest with you from the start, but I didn't want to make things worse. I admit, I don't know why they wanted you dead— I never ask for details, that's not my business— I just accept the hit and get it done. I don't know how they knew your real name, or why it was me they had to go for. All I can say is, watch your back. I already declined the request, meaning if they truly wanted you dead they'll turn to someone else to finish the job I failed to do— If you fucking die on me, there'll be hell to pay, bigshot. My current address is ███████, ████. I would've sent it earlier, but I'm afraid it was too risky— at the time, they were still hot on my trail. As of now, I seem to have lost them. I managed to find material healthy enough to fix my wounds, but they still seem to be getting infected. Again, Jeremy... I apologize for worrying you so much— it wasn't my intention to make you feel like you'd lose me... deep down, I suppose I'm not as professional as I like to come off as, so— for you— I let my guard down.

Ha... if I knew it'd be that much of a fucking deal I probably would've tried to hide it, I don't like confrontation... reminds me of the past. Speaking of the past, I gave you snippets, didn't I? I never had parents, at least, not real ones. I don't know who they were, in fact, I don't think I ever even met them. I was adopted by this... sweet old couple in some crappy farm way back when, some state in USA I barely remember the name of...— I won't get into the long details, but... they're gone now. Well, actually, they've been gone for a long, long time. It was a fire, a big one... neither of them survived... some stupid kids at my old school loved to pick on me for being a foreigner, one day they just took it to far. Set my farm ablaze. I just had to sit there and watch them burn, and I— I just— I didn't do shit, I didn't even try— I was just frozen. After that, I never made a bond with another person again. I thought it was foolish to create relationships with people I knew would leave my life one way or another, then you came along— I guess my stupid brain just... thought it was fine to go out and tell you like that, I really don't know what I was thinking. I always try my best to keep my emotions out of my writing, as I don't write often unless it's for business purposes... but... I couldn't stop thinking about how guilty I'd feel if I just... died... no letter, no goodbye. I couldn't do that to you... I couldn't just— die like my family did, no goodbye...

So, I wrote that letter on a whim— I thought I'd die back then, but I didn't. And, now that I'm a more stable condition, I have the right mindset to write one last letter to you before we meet face to face.

My name—... It's Mitchell..... Mitchell Holland. Heh— I haven't spoken that name in so many years that it almost feels false to me. I go by M for safeties sake, but for you— well— I guess you, and Spy, will be the first to know the truth, hm?

I, Mitchell Holland, hereby declare my apologies for worrying you, Jeremy— but, you're childish. I love you dearly with all my heart, Jeremy— but, you're ridiculous. Your silly little words might have broken my heart, and I may have gone through many discarded letters in a struggle to respond properly to you, but I also understand you were not aware of the full situation— just as I have troubles understanding it, myself.

I've done this time and time again, I'm used to helping myself— I would've— I would've asked for yours if it wasn't for the circumstances... believe me when I say it was for your own good, I'm not putting another life in risk. I'm not losing someone else.

Zero exceptions.

I don't care how much you whine and beg about me not giving you my location earlier, I wasn't doing it. Regardless. No matter how guilty I felt... no matter how much I wanted to. As for my positive attitude during that last note?

That's how I am... I admit, I was in a bad place when I wrote that— even to this day I struggle to believe anyone could care for me, so I shake off my injuries as a joke in attempts to make situations lighter. After all, why bother taking a fleeting life so seriously if you had no one around to live it for?

Just...— you can't make me feel any worse about it than I already do...

That aside, I'll be there shortly— it was a long, awful travel. I can't even express to you how empty and disgusting the desert can be at this time, especially with excruciating headaches, pain and dizziness from wounds prior. I'm just thankful I made it out without encountering anyone else... 

To end this note off on a better note, I appreciate your concern. Both you, and Spy.

(Between you and me, Spy, I appreciate your honesty. I get it's hard to open up about that kind of stuff, and I won't judge. I lost a lot, too— but, your advice? It helped a lot. Really gave me the energy I needed to fight on regardless of how much I just wanted to fall asleep, regardless of if I'd wake up again.... thanks to you, the whole week of travelling went by rather nice— ignoring the gaping hole in my stomach, which has since been taken... rough care of. As much as I don't trust that German doctor of yours, safe to say I might require his help upon arrival— once that happens, I request you accompany me to the operating table to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid to my body. Calculations on arrival say— a few hours— max? 'Til we meet in person, cher beau-père. Yes, feel free to laugh, but I picked up a few words from my visit to France. Safe to say, I'll never be visiting again.)

—if I kiss you upon meeting, don't be surprised, Mitchell.

-

-

[Atop this letter are Spy's initials. There is no mention of Jeremy in the sense that he had transcribed the letter, or that Jeremy was even weighing in his own opinions.]

I wish I could greet you with warmth, and general amiability, but it seems that the situation is much more... Dire than it appears to me. Let me be as frank with you as you have been my son Scout, and let me also say that I am not reprimanding you entirely, but I am airing my grievances as well within this notion. I understand that you're in a great deal of pain. That you're scared, that you thought to write to us to let us know - to let us worry. And that is precisely what Scout did: worry. You gave him a lot of information and the gods know that he cannot have a constant stream of thoughts coming at him all at once. It's like he doesn't have the capacity to multitask, of course he was going to act out.

If I had to transcribe his response to your harsh words, all you would have were a string of curses and his bruised pride screaming at you for writing as you did. I have chosen not to tell him about... About the hit on you... I will not throw that burden onto him when he is already on the rocks mentally speaking. He's upset with you, immensely so. You've essentially scolded him into the next dynasty and he's airing out his own grievances in ways I find less than healthy.

He's heard about your emotional story, all of it. He knows your name, and now I do too. He knows what he has to and I intend in keeping that way. He has the brain of a barely functioning caveman. I do not expect him to understand nuance. Scout is still worried about you. He won't outright say it now, and he hides his emotion with anger, that much is certain. He's angry at you, angry at himself at worrying about you, and I suppose he's angry that I refuse to transcribe his strings of curses. He's emotional, to put it shortly.

But I must weigh in on my own: your own behavior is more than childish. Your grandiose declaration of apologies for worrying him shows me more than enough that you, just as much as him, were never ready for anything serious. I believe Americans and the general English speaking world call it "puppy love". You cannot get mad at someone for worrying about you. He has an... An admittedly underdeveloped sense of reasoning, but I find your words much to harsh as if you're instead putting up a front. Is that what you're doing, Mitchell? Are you putting up a front? Are you using your own anger as an emotional veil as he has?

I thank you immensely for keeping him safe. And I thank you for thinking of him even now. Jeremy still hasn't calmed down, and frankly, I was never upset, just tired. I find your "love story" exhausting, and if it were up to me, I would have that disgusting bushman transcribe instead of me. Judging by your writing, I can tell you're close enough and well, I have car keys for a reason.

Don't die in the meantime. I will be there - I don't really trust Scout to be near you at the moment. Let him cool down first. We have much to discuss, emotions we cannot convey over prose alone.

Do not kiss me. Save your energy for yourself. Ludwig is already waiting for you. Keep some pressure on your wounds, and don't fall asleep just yet.

I'll be there before you know it.

[echo-three-one]

Chapter 38

THE ROAD SO FAR

The EIGHT-Thirty Appointment

John 'Soap' MacTavish

London, UK

Following the events of Shepherd's surrender to authorities, the members of Task Force 141 who went rogue in pursuit of him had been exonerated from treason. This meant that from then on, life would be a little more 'normal'. No more hiding in public, no more lack of equipment, no more secret hiding areas.

This prompted Laswell to recreate the task force she once poured her heart on, with a few changes to its jurisdiction. With Ghost, Roach and Alexandra still recovering, the remaining members were invited to celebrate their success.

"So John, now that 141 is back your main focus will be Nero. Do you want the reassigned members back?" Laswell asked Price while they exited the building. Soap overheard this because he thought he was the John being called.

"If it's still okay and not much of a hassle, then yes." Price replied.

"What about Kyle?" Laswell added.

"No. Not yet. Just keep an eye on him." Price mused and turned to Soap, who quickly turned to focus back on Alex as he pushed his wheelchair.

"Excuse me, Captain Price. Can we talk for a moment?" Samantha interrupted as they stopped on their tracks. Alex turned out of curiosity, wondering what matter they were discussing.

"Hey hey hey. What was that about?" Alex asked Soap and France, who continued walking. Laswell turned to the next right as she already finished her conversation with Price, waving at Alex and the rest of the 141.

Soap chuckled at the CIA. This was about Samantha's surprise for him and he shouldn't spoil it.

"Well, with 141 back maybe she just wanted to know where she will be now. Nero no longer needs the IP Address and she's been through a lot." France reasoned, making Alex frown.

"You know… I want her safe and all but I also want her within my reach. I've lost her far too many times already. I'm not going to lose her again." Alex grumbled making Soap and France look at each other, their faces were worried at their sorry excuse.

"I think Samantha feels the same way too. Maybe she's bargaining for staying at 141." Soap lied, making France question him quietly.

"You know what, Alex? Don't overthink this." Soap tapped his shoulders reassuringly.

"Overthink what?" Samantha inserted. They fell quiet and Samantha slowly asked Soap to let her push Alex as they moved forward, Samantha being excited of what's next.

"Well, we did a great job. I guess." Soap quietly commented sarcastically, earning a soft elbow from France.

"Ow!" he exaggerated and turned to France, his face looked bewildered.

"Way to go, John." She sneered and followed the two on their way to their appointment, riding Soap's trusty jeep.

The drive to the surprise area consisted of mostly Soap and Francine acting like couples while they drove. Soap could see the two murmuring at each other whenever Soap would argue with France on whatever's going on in the road.

"I always wanted to try out some London restaurants." she mused, looking at the place they just passed by.

"Yeah? I could see you as the fancy kind." he chuckled at his guess.

"What does that mean?" France gave him a suspicious glare. Soap looked at her, feigning surrender.

"I just said it as is. You're the kind of person who would want fancy stuff." He explained, focusing back on the road.

"I-"

"Come on. You don't have to read everything I say between the lines. Sometimes, I'm just a simple man" he whined and Alex and Samantha burst out laughing, causing the two to be quiet.

"Are you sure there's nothing going on with you two?" Samantha asked, making the silence a little bit more awkward.

Soap carefully rolled his eyes toward Francine, who was actually looking down and blushing. He really had no definitive stance on whatever's going on between them, and if you ask him, he'd love to assume that they're already together. But he remembered that he told her that he'll be patient, and that's the only thing that's hindering him from taking her to the next level.

"Well…" Francine croaked, her voice was shaky and Soap was actually worried that she was already under pressure.

"We're here." Soap interrupted, wishing he did the right thing. Alex quickly looked outside to see where they actually were.

"What is this place, Soap? Where did you bring us?" Alex asked and Soap just nodded.

"I'll let your girl fill in everything for you. This was her idea after all and we're here to help her out." Soap replied as he assisted him to his wheelchair and watched the two enter the establishment.

He then knocked on Samantha's door as she was still out of focus.

"There's a coffee shop across the street, we could wait there until they finish." He invited her for another coffee date. Hopefully this time, there would be no more emp phone wielding persons to interrupt it.

"About Samantha's question…" She muttered.

"Don't pressure yourself about it. You actually owe me for saving you, by the way." He chuckled, already opening her door.

France slowly stepped down the vehicle and turned to Soap, her head looked up to his face.

"Look John. There's no other reason I can think of that would make you wait anymore. I really enjoy your company, your personality, and I'm curious about everything else about you. So, if you've been waiting all this time ever since that night, my answer is that I'm ready." She smiled, and John's eyes widened at the sight of her. The message made him hug her tight, lift her up and spin her around briefly while she giggled at the feeling.

"Wow. You don't know how much you made my day, France!" he sighed as he slowly set her down and closed the door and made their way to the coffee shop.

"I missed these so much!" France happily chewed on a slice of blueberry cheesecake, with a few crumbs stuck on the edge of her mouth. Soap smiled as she watched her enjoy the simple things in life, a thing he was always looking for in women.

Most of his dating life were his parents setting him up on business dates and most women there were far too serious. They looked like they haven't enjoyed anything in years. Some of them admittedly loved to have fun, but their idea of fun was far too complicated. Like expensive travels and luxurious shopping sprees, none of them piqued Soap's interest.

However, Francine was the first one who begged to differ. It's like every great idea in John's activity book is enjoyable for her. Simple things such as Netflix, Cinemas and even this coffee shop date, made her smile.

"What's funny?" Francine asked as she noticed the odd smile on his face.

"Oh nothing… you just looked cute eating that whole thing. It makes me want to buy a whole cake and watch you smile and eat that all day." he mused, imagining how things would've been if they weren't in public. He could've been tasting that cake from her mouth already.

He quickly grabbed a tissue and wiped off the crumbs as Francine blushed in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry. I didn't notice it was there." she blushed shyly and looked down.

"Nah… why apologize. I was thinking you were hinting at me to kiss you. Like what most movies and cliché shows would mean." He scoffed and sipped on his coffee.

"Ha ha. Well you could try. As if I'd let you." She smiled bravely, but Soap could see her weakness behind that smile. She's raising her guard up again, and it's always like that when people are around.

"Wow. Umm that went differently." Soap commented, attempting to let France open up. This has been a common trend with her lately, toughening up when people are around but when they're alone, she's still strict but less tense.

"I'm sorry. It's just-" She hesitated and turned to the window.

"Say, how long would it take for them to finish?" She asked. Soap also turned to the building and shrugged.

"I don't know. Honestly, I'm excited for him. They make the best prosthetics around here and it'd make Alex's life easier. It'll look and weigh and bend like an actual leg." he said proudly as he turned to France who was looking at him weirdly.

"What?" he asked as he checked his phone which just beeped.

"Actually, they're almost done. And they're asking for an order. I'll just go get some for them, you stay here." He added, holding the thought, wiping his face and proceeded to the counter.

The reformed Task Force 141 would soon be back in business as papers were already approved by the board. They'll be situating themselves on American soil as their previous base was compromised by the traitorous General.

As for their last day on English soil, the rest of the team stayed in a penthouse condominium unit owned by the MacTavishes.

"Wow. This is top class!" Samantha mused as Alex plopped himself on the couch, his new leg quickly rested on the table. He's been in it for only a few hours but he already got the hang of it.

Samantha shot a glare at Alex's actions to which he shrugged on, prompting Soap to reply.

"Don't worry Samantha, make yourselves at home. We don't use this place anyway so help yourselves out. I promise it'll be fine." he eased as Samantha slowly plopped down beside him as Alex's arm rested on her shoulders. Soap actually wondered if he could do that to her too, get comfortable, open up, just normal stuff.

"I'll go get tea." he quickly said to himself as his imagination got the best of him as he walked to the kitchen. France quickly followed him to help out.

"Fancy place you got here, John. I wonder how many girls you've brought in here." She mused standing in front of him, helping with the teacups. Soap eyed her for a second and replied.

"Honestly, I can't count. I used to stay here when I studied and that was years ago." he replied as seriously as possible, looking at the changes on her face. She's actually jealous.

"Yeah. Figures. I saw your photos from earlier years. It was no doubt you'd have a lot of women over." She chuckled, nervously at it. Soap saw through her as she started to get curious about his life. A sign that she's ready to stop lowering her guard. Soap on the other hand, wanted her to feel special. Asking her out as soon as possible would make him come out as a desperate one, so he planned to do it the long traditional way. Which he actually despised, he would want to hug her so tight right now and it was already killing him.

"What about you? How many different rooms did you wake up to already?" he asked, changing the subject as she was already starting to feel bad about her question.

"Me?! Only a few. And most of them were owned by you. I've been very serious about my life choices that I never let myself loose." she sighed as Soap raised an eyebrow.

"Let loose? Like going out to parties?" He added.

"Yes. But broader. Like letting myself loose. I've always followed the path I wanted to be in, not letting any distractions bother me." she explained, blushing at it like it's a secret she was too shy to tell. Soap on the other hand, didn't quite get it.

"So you mean…" He tilted his head.

"Yes. Since birth, I never had a boyfriend." she looked down in embarrassment for the second time today.

Soap gulped. He didn't actually know how to respond to her statement. Sure he wanted to be the first one, but now wasn't the time. It would feel forced. And he wasn't a fan of forced relationships.

The kettle whistled and the two of them quickly responded to it as they both reached out for it, their hands met just by the handle.

"I'll take care of this one." She said as Soap slowly let go of her soft hands and watched her pour it on, carrying it to Samantha and Alex who were already giggling through a romcom.

"Way to go, John." he muttered to himself with a sigh as he ran his hand on his hair.

The day actually felt worse as France continued to remain quiet towards Soap as she invested herself on the television, third wheeling on Alex and Samantha.

Soap pondered about the words he chose to say to her and those he didn't over a steamy shower.

With the place having only two bedrooms, it was inevitable that France would sleep beside him but he also considered sleeping on the couch to respect her privacy or something like that.

As soon as he exited the bathroom, he saw France already tucked on her side of the bed, scrolling through her phone.

"Hey there." he muttered as she rolled her eyes to him and back to her phone.

"Hey." she said nonchalantly, her eyes dead focused on her screen. Soap quickly grabbed his nighttime clothes and slipped them on.

"Are you in any way excited for tomorrow?" he asked, trying to keep her from interacting with him.

"Yeah. A little." she said as she turned to him and smiled.

"Listen, about earlier today, in the kitchen..." he said.

"I'm not mad, John. I just wanted to say it out there so you could understand me."

"Tell me what you feel."

"Embarrassed."

"Why?"

"Because I looked like a fool earlier. When I told you I was ready and now I feel that you're the one who isn't. You told me you would wait but-" Soap placed his hand on her face, gently touching her cheek.

"France. You don't have to worry. You're still the one I'm thinking about every second. I just… wanted to do this the slow and steady way, where I would show off how worthy I am for you. I want you to enjoy the whole John MacTavish Experience." he smiled and she slowly turned her frown upside down.

Soap wanted to take a picture of that smile and plaster it all around the room as his heart started to pound like crazy, his face unknowingly moving closer to hers. They both started to close their eyes as they let their lips do the talking, but in a quiet and intimate way. Soap felt France's greed for his kiss as she slowly learned how to beg for more of him. It was true that she had no experience on these things but something told him that she's starting to learn some tricks herself.

Soap didn't hesitate to retaliate as she released a soft groan, a sign of her being content as her hands slowly grazed his arms, her thumb softly pressed his biceps, digging deeper as their tongues clashed. After a few more seconds, they both broke their kiss as they gasped for air.

"Yeah. Go sleep on the floor before we do something stupid." She giggled and Soap nodded in agreement as they quickly shuffled about, set their beds and called it a night.

Next Chapter - The SEVEN Inch Wound

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