#I wish I could transfer my ideas to committed writers

[kquil]

hi pookie! happy spooky season! I hope you’re doing better now 🌟 missed your updates! can’t wait for the next chapter of DOB, you absolutely smashed it ONCE AGAIN!! In my humble opinion I think you’ve done a brilliant job at delivering isekai and motherhood. I love this fix it fic so so much!!! That being said I was wondering what inspired you to write a fic like this? was it inspired by another fix it fic? or did you come up with this idea on your own? stay blessed 🐝

omg! i can't believe you called me pookie! hehe~ hello my darling!

happy spooky season, indeed, and thank you so much! i try my best for every chapter so I'm happy you're enjoying it and the tropes ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )♡

as for how i came up with the idea, it was a real mix of things. i was stressed from writing my dissertation for my final year of uni and i needed a distraction and some comfort. i had really fallen in love with the Marauders era and was hurting a lot over their angsty stores, especially Sirius and Regulus. they're such tragic characters, it broke my heart and i really wanted to see them happy. at first, i read through some fix-it-fics that were already out there but most focused on harry and the lightening era, not really the marauders. there also weren't very many reader inserts in the fix-it-fic genre and if there was, it focused a lot on romance, which is understandable but that was one thing i wanted very specifically: a reader insert fix-it-fic without a big focus on romance! so i wasn't really satisfied with what was already online, no offence to the very talented authors who wrote them, i just had very specific tropes and plots in mind that i wanted to read but couldn't really find.

the isekai and motherhood element came purely from my love of isekai manhwas, webtoons and mangas, focusing on the plots where someone becomes the villainess/villain of a story they loved in their previous life and changing the plot so that the villainess/villain gets a happy ending. i mixed that trope with my wish to be a good mother one day and wanting to see the boys with a happy childhood and mother who loved them, which is something every child deserves -- as a writer, i could do that!

in the beginning, it was just going to be a small one-shot, just to scratch that itch y'know? maybe reader transferring and treating the boys to ice cream or something and that was it, nothing too elaborate, just comfort -- i told my friends about the idea and, being harry potter fans themselves, helped me brainstorm it enough to consider writing a mini-series of imagines before i succumbed to turning it into a full series! i was really scared of the commitment since it's such a huge project to take on while i was still writing my dissertation but i pulled through and now, here i am hehe~

[pebblysand]

This is the first time I see a "big" fanfic account take such a reasonable stance on this (which is very notable and welcome!), without demonising anyone and everyone who ever dares wish they could - idk, pay their bills? To be clear, yes, of course, monetising fanfiction is a legal risk, and you should definitely do your research/consult an IP lawyer if you intend to do this (especially if you do it at scale)[1], but that risk may be worth taking for you, depending on your particular circumstances and the landscape of your fandom.

AO3's decision not to monetise is a decision based on their mission statement, which is to be an internet archive existing as a "record" of all fanfic, whose entire point is to be risk-averse in order to self-preserve and minimise lawsuits/takedown orders. As an individual, you may consider you are less risk-averse than a non-profit entity.

I will add that the "don't monetise your hobby!" and "money in fanfic is the devil!" crowd needs to touch some grass. We all have our issues with capitalism but being able to make decisions such as wilfully committing hours of your time to an unpaid hobby results from a position of immense privilege, which a lot of people aren't in. Writing fanfic (by which I mean writing fanfic seriously with the goal of developing skills and a readership, as well as enjoying oneself) is a rich-person hobby. People who work three jobs to put food on the table for their four children don't have time on their hands to engage in unpaid hobbies that have no hope to ever pay out in the long run. This leads, in my opinion, to a less diverse crowd of fanfic writers overall.[2]

There is this idea that introducing money into a hobby, on an individual level, will somehow "ruin" it. There is this other idea that introducing money into fanfiction, on a more macro level, will somehow "corrupt" it. To which I say: please try not to transfer your own issues with capitalism and rentability onto other people. Just because you have an issue with monetising your own hobby or fanfic, doesn't mean everybody should.

Stop trying to moralise the way people try and cope with this capitalist hellscape we live in based on your own arbitrary values. If people want to monetise their hobbies, that is their choice. You may have a different opinion. You may explain why you wouldn't do it. But, for the love of God, stop telling people how to live their lives.

What I would love, in an ideal world, is for people to have the freedom to choose whether or not to monetise (and how to monetise if they decide to do so). Because, yes, fanfiction is hard, time consuming work, and I understand this person’s feelings regarding the “unfair”ness of it all.

-

[1] yes, i am a lawyer but this is not legal advice. please, again, consult a specialist.

[2] please don't come at me with your anecdotal evidence of: i'm poor and i spend 20 hours a week writing fanfic to clear my head. congratulations, you are the needle in the haystack. i'm happy that this is serving you and i'm sorry about your financial circumstances. i maintain that that is the exception, rather than the rule.

do you ever wish it *was* allowed to monetize fanfiction? obviously i know all the otw rules about not and stuff and why but it just seems ... unfair, i suppose?

[standard disclaimer that I am not a lawyer and this is as far from legal advice as it gets]

The OTW / AO3 does not allow monetization on their site. This is for two reasons:

1) the legality of it is still somewhat unsettled in the USA where OTW is based and 2) (my conjecture), the people who started it wanted a place that was not part of the capitalist ecosphere

However, the OTW having this stance doesn't mean that's just the way things are. Lots of spaces outside of AO3 monetize fanfic. It's a robust tradition in some areas of fandom. It's just the fact that AO3 has become so huge that people assume AO3's Terms of Service are the same thing as... I guess, international law? A moral code of fandom? Who can say.

If you want to monetize your fanfic, go for it. Just don't mention it on AO3 and don't link out to your monetized platform from AO3. Not because it's illegal but because it's against the site's Terms of Service and if you get reported, your fic could be taken down.

Create a commission price list. Start up a patreon. Sell printed copies of your work. Whatever you want. Just don't talk about it on AO3. Not in your author notes. Not in the comments. Not on your profile.

If you decide to write fic for money, you'll run the risk of the original creator potentially suing you, but Anne Rice is dead now and I'm betting George RR Martin has calmed down in the last decade or so. These days, fandom is seen as part of the capitalist engine. It's free marketing. Even if an author or show runner or director really does hate fanfic, they probably won't actually say that near a microphone in case that hype machine disappears.

[dzpenumbra]

11/29/22

Big day. Seems like a lot of those lately. Got the conflict with my mom addressed again to clarify, with some time to reflect. We've been having this shit going on where the problem is referred to as "a communication problem" or "a miscommunication" and that usually is like... a wink and nod at me like I'm not communicating well. It really created a complex in me for a very long time, because... you know... I'm a writer... and an artist... and a musician... Communication is kinda my thing. So it kinda has always felt like throwing me under the bus, because every one of these problems (at least with my mom) are because she is not communicating something that's bothering her, not communicating plans, making assumptions or making decisions on my behalf without my consent or consultation. Or because she doesn't understand what I'm communicating and she doesn't ask any questions to clarify. This is a problem I've had with others as well, I think it's a pride thing? But also an anxiety thing. And... it's really hard to know that it's a mental health issue... and to still be like... firm about it? Because otherwise I just get scapegoated, and that's just... extremely unhealthy.

So I think we got some really important stuff communicated, namely "do not change plans or make decisions or commitments on my behalf without consulting with me, just call or text me first." It's really painful to be a 36 year old and have this problem, which is like... a problem that teenagers and college students have... I guess I just picked the wrong career, huh...

I got the internet set up to transfer over to my new place. I'm in talks to see if I can just sell my old car to the dealership and trade it in for a lease of the car that I'm renting. I have no idea if I should even own a car, to be frank. I kinda need one for vet appointments and visiting family, but if it weren't for that... I'd be really tempted to just get a OneWheel and just ride that fucker around anytime I want to go somewhere. And I mean that! On one of the drives today, I remembered that there was a pivotal moment in my life when I was ready to buy a motorcycle. It was going to be my thing. I had already done a big solo road trip, I always wanted either an old Army WWII era Jeep (which I could learn how to fix and maintain) or a motorcycle. Maybe even both. But my mom somehow convinced me to get a service dog and an SUV.

I loved my dog with all my heart, she changed my life forever - though I really wish I never saw her as a service dog, just a best friend, it took us way too many years to get to that healthy relationship - but I always look back and wonder how different my life would be if I just took the money I had saved up from streaming... Didn't give the money to my ex to pay off her debt... But instead spent it on a motorcycle. Or that old Jeep. How different of a person would I be? Is that even a life I still want? I think so, honestly. Some version, at least.

As far as the car goes, all of the repairs I'm trying to just flat-out sell the car because of - I've been waiting a week for them to even order parts, they can't even order parts right now! - all that damage came from neglect. It came from the car just sitting in the driveway and not being driven for months, years. I feel horrible. I wish I just had goddamn friends to do things with and none of this would have happened. And I really worry that this new car is just going to suffer the same fate. It really sucks, because it's like... you have to pay money on gas to go drive this vehicle literally anywhere just to spare yourself paying more money in repairs. What a fucking black hole of money. Ugh. But I'm literally moving my entire life by myself and trying to take care of an elderly cat with health problems, so... I wasn't really prepared to go fucking car shopping. If I was prepared, I'd probably get an electric. Assuming you can charge those at home? I don't know enough about those things. But yeah, I'm kinda just caught off-guard and reacting to put these fires out. My mom suggested doing a lease, then I can just like... renegotiate it if I need to. I guess that makes sense. That's the plan we're running up currently.

I took a run up to the apartment. It took me like 2 hours to pack the car, I packed it literally to the fucking brim, like I could barely even fit food in the car, it was almost air-tight. I got up in good time, didn't need to use GPS or anything. I got it all unloaded in less than 40 minutes. That's including getting a new litterbox set up in a closet and exploring what I'm dubbing the "art cave". Check this shit out. My new apartment is a loft, so its got a big common room, a staircase going up to the bedroom and in the wall at the top of the stairs is a hatch that goes into a big carpeted storage space. But this storage space is like... big enough to stand up in. And it has a light in it! So, my plan... back in college, I had a wall in my apartment that I covered in paper and I had it as basically a graffiti/mural wall that anyone who came over could draw on. I want to either do that with this space and turn it into an art cave, or try to soundproof it and turn it into a recording booth. Either way, I'm really excited to play around with that space.

I drove back, the drive went super quick. Got Taco Bell on the way back, super underwhelming. I was considering just doing the last bit tonight, making a grand total of about 8 hours of driving, but I decided to just do it in the morning. I figured it wouldn't really be fair to Max to spend like an hour packing and then put her in a crate, drive her 2.5 hours and then bring her into a brand new home at like... 1:30AM. That doesn't give her a lot of time to get acquainted with the space with me. Because I'm just going to give her her meds and pass out. So I decided to do it tomorrow, and then we can have the day to pack slowly and settle in to the new place together.

The only other thing that happened today was soaking a goat skull. That's a sentence you don't hear everyday... I'll keep this story brief if you haven't heard it before, but last summer a woman contacted me on a dating site. I had it listed on my profile that I was looking to get into more 3D mediums this year - wood, stone and bone. She said she lived on a farm in a rural area nearby and offered some bones, if I was interested. I was shocked that anyone even wanted to speak to me, this was literally a week after I put my dog down... so I just was glad to have the company. We FaceTimed for like 10 hours, told stories, bonded. Then she offered to bring some bones over and hang out the next day. I said sure. She showed up and pulled 2 5 gallon buckets full of goat bones in varying stages of decomposition out of her car and gave them to me. I was so overwhelmed with the social interest that I didn't even process what I was getting into. And now, almost 6 months later, I still have a box full of goat bones in my living room. They're too thin to work with, at least the stuff I know how to do. And I honestly just don't know their story, which makes me feel uncomfortable. I've handled dead animals before - I've had to dispose of rabbits that foxes have mangled, and a disembodied deer leg, and a dead red-tailed hawk that snapped its neck and died in my yard. These were all very solemn, respectful events. I knew what happened, I treated them honorably and it was done. But these, I just get a weird vibe from these. I can't put my finger on it. I feel bad, because I would really love to honor these animals, there's just a mental barrier there for some reason.

Today... I tried to push through the barrier, and somewhat succeeded. There were two skulls included in the bone pile. One was a bit rotted on the bottom, the other was cracked around the nasal cavity (those bones are always super fragile) but seemed to not be decomposed. It's pretty large. I was planning on carving either a mandala or just... sorta intuitive abstract designs into it, and either using it as an ornamental piece or, if I can figure out a good way to do it, an incense burner. But I'm still a little weirded out by it. And again, I can't really figure out why. Maybe it's just the memory associated with it? Maybe because it was like... a domesticated animal and not a wild animal? Like if this was a deer skull I don't think I would have these feelings at all. I don't know. Welp, either way, it's out soaking on the porch overnight, to clean it up and decontaminate anything that might be lingering on it. We'll see if this feeling passes and I feel okay carving it. Either way, I'm going to have to figure out how to get rid of these bones in a not sketchy and respectful way. I was thinking of contacting animal control and telling them the story, I bet they know what to do with animal bones. We'll see, I have some time to figure that out.

Right now, it's late so I need to go get my kitty her meds and get ready for bed. Next journal entry will be from my new place. Assuming the internet works... Fingers crossed!

[malreblogs]

I think one of the factors why Eldritcher’s kingsman fics really resonated with me is the generational trauma, it’s quite common in the toxic part of my culture in my side of the world and most of my friends relates to and suffers from it.

Also, I’m just amazed with the scope of her fics, I know a few writer friends who will lose it in world building alone, but juggling that with a lot of overlaying themes without overwhelming the reader is pure talent 👌👌👌👌👌

Man I wish I could write it somehow this year 😩 If I ever do, I just dunno how to clear cut end it. I’m really more of a story teller with big ideas than a writer 🥲

I actually expect King’s Man to have strong LXG vibes, a plot trying stopping a world war, access to the latest proto tech of the era, a blimp or two, a tank. Father and pseudo Son bonding via weapons training. The big villain reveal with a death trap. But noooo wasted potential.

the king's man spoilers

actual picture of me me writing fanfiction of the king's man so that conrad doesn't die, he and orlando reconcile, conrad and archie become friends, conrad spends his summers with cousin felix, orlando finally opens up and allows room in his heart for polly, polly teaches the other ladies at oxford estate to shoot, shola gets a vacation bc he's carrying the family on his shoulders, and i rip the shepherd's stupid mustache with my bare hands. erik can just continue doing whatever. we need a villain anyway. and rasputin... yeah sure he can just keep being his horny monk self. whatever

[ryder616]

Rewatching Watchdogs

Gather ‘round, folks, hear the Legend of the Shotgun-Axe.😁

A truly fearsome weapon that will fight aliens and robots, travel through time, stand for peace (ahem) and justice, defend the weak and punish the wicked.

Portents of Its coming were already present in the Season 2 finale, when Alphonso The Righteous carried a bright red emergency axe as his trusty companion.

Its advent was foretold in 3x01 when our Virtous Hero, undoubtly struck by divine inspiration, wished for “a shotgun-axe combination of some kind” to face the Inhuman Menace yet to be known as Lash.

“Really got to commit to that shotgun-axe idea”, the Stalwart Champion then vowed to the Gods in 3x07.

And now comes a makeshift avatar, only a shadow of Its Holy Form that will be unleashed upon the unsightly Primitives in 3x22, yet already mighty.

Seriously, this thing has had more episodes than many regular guest stars and a longer arc and more development than some (humanoid) characters get. I bet the writers were joking about what weapons the AoS characters would use in a Zombie Apocalypse, couldn’t decide whether Mack was the shotgun or axe guy, then someone went “Both. Both is good”.

And a legend was born.

The Big Sister?

*climbs on the Daisy-shaped soapbox that’s been collecting dust in a corner since 1x05*

So, this episode suddenly introduces a concern about sidestepping civil liberties because Daisy has been tracking the Watchdogs online, matching the louder keyboard warriors’ IPs to their meeker offline selves, not caring at all for their freedom of speech to hate.

I could point out that Daisy’s been doing this kind of stuff since her name was Skye, with Coulson’s blessing.

Or that the sidestepping of civil liberties has been occurring since the Pilot, when a certain wayward hacker was abducted out of her van, with a hood over her head, and interrogated with no access to legal counsel.

Instead, I’ll just list a few highlights from this season so far:

Mack put a tracker on Lincoln without his knowledge or consent.

S.H.I.E.L.D. conducted illegal surveillance of a government agency and government personnel (the ATCU, Rosalind, Banks).

Coulson, Bobbi and Hunter kidnapped Thomas Ward, threatening his personal safety.

Coulson ordered FitzSimmons to subject Von Strucker Jr., a gravely injured patient, to a torturous experimental procedure to extract intel and then Lincoln to perform an unorthodox, non-consensual medical treatment to facilitate it.

S.H.I.E.L.D. infiltrated a diplomatic conference and conducted illegal surveillance of several international delegates.

Yet, tracking a hate group that advocates ethnic cleansing is what prompts a lecture on the abuse of power, and breaking a car window to obtain intel is what warrants the Face of Dismayed Disapproval.

🤨😒🙄

I would love a storyline exploring how much Daisy needs to hold herself back with the kind of power she has (all of it: the hacking, the quaking and the belonging to a secret agency with no accountability) and what happens when she doesn’t.

But this isn’t it.

*steps off the soapbox, tucks it in for future use*

Stuff that crossed my mind:

PSA: the Watchdogs are scumbags.

I thought you were gonna finally ride it when we drove to Baja. -- [...] Look, I told you, I got buried in work. Big Mack was thinking to go with Mack Mini on this Baja trip back in the S2 finale. So it’s really Jiaying’s fault he didn’t get the chance.

Yeah, honestly job hasn't been great lately. Management's out of control, new people keep coming in every day, no experience. And the two friends I was closest to, they just got, uh, transferred for good. So, Mack’s not a fan of Coulson’s command decisions this season anymore than he was last season, is wary of Joey and Lincoln (I suspect he has no objections to Elena’s involvement 😉). And he’s not as close to his partner Tremors or his friend Turbo as he was to Bobbi and Hunter.

[The Watchdogs on TV imploding the ATCU building] This is awesome. Right? Wrong. Although that imploding trick is cool.

Nitramene is another nod to Agent Carter’s season 1.

Thank you, Nerd Herd. Daisy watched Chuck.

Do we take this debris back with us, study it? -- Uh, yeah, sure. If if you've been working out.  'Cause it weighs like 100,000 tons. It's a building. 🤣🤣

I’m quite comfortable blaming myself, actually, for the lot of it. You guys should have t-shirts made.

What happened to those Inhumans, not your fault. It isn’t your fault either, May.

We should go pick one [of the Watchdogs sympathizers she’s been tracking] up and see what he knows. --  And what? Shake him down? Without even knowing if the guy we picked was actually involved?  [...]  it's kind of Gestapo, don't you think? Indeed, nazis were notorious for recruiting mixed-heritage young women who wanted to stop violent, racist bigots set to exterminate her and her people. 😒😁

It's not about how they act. It's about how we respond. I agree with this sentiment (no snark) but are you familiar with the Paradox of Tolerance, Mack?

Ok, Fitz, you’re with me. -- Uh, am I? The chain of command in these field missions remains very confusing. Neither Mack nor Fitz want to go along with Daisy’s plan but Mack refuses, Fitz grumbles and Daisy just does what she wants.🤔

I get that Lincoln’s powers make him a potentially invaluable field asset but maybe, given his reluctance, a position in the science department should have been considered instead, as he’s also probably the best expert on all things Inhuman still alive.

I can’t afford the house. I can’t afford to leave. This is how they get you. System’s rigged. They want to keep you down and in the dark, man. -- You sound like those Watchdogs nuts. -- Well, they got the right idea. Someone’s got to fight back. Target a vulnerable (Inhumans are individually powerful but are very few and scattered) minority and channel against it the anger people are legitimately feeling about the state of things, so that anger isn’t used to foster real change. That’s what the Watchdogs (rather, the puppet masters behind them, Malick at this point in time) are really doing, isn’t it? Depressingly mirroring real life.😩

I just feel guilty all the time. How do you make it stop? -- You don't. You use it, channel it. The Hate Fu Master has another Padawan. 😎

Don’t interrupt me! You got it? You haven’t earned that right yet. I don’t know you. I vetted every member of this team except you. Well, I believe Daisy vetted him quite extensively and, frankly, I am offended on her behalf that you apparently don’t trust her totally professional judgement on the matter. 😂

Don't give me hope, Jemma. I don't want hope. And I was fine without angst for once. 😔 

We’re done. Go to black. [...] -- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! What are you doing? She’s going after the violent mob that wants her dead and currently outnumbers her several tens to 1 with no plan, no backup and no thought to the possible consequences. Why? Is that a problem?😁

Maybe we slowed it down, but..must be the modifications that Blake made. -- What does that mean? -- That sooner or later, this bomb is gonna go off. And then I'll implode. Which is gonna be messy. Fitz’s weary, matter-of-fact delivery both amuses me and saddens me. He’s already seen so much that imploding is just another day at the office. Daisy’s reaction is much more frantic, with good reason: nitramene is weird and her friend is now in deadly danger because she was too caught up with going after the Watchdogs.

I searched for you. I wanted to make you part of the new S.H.I.E.L.D. Add Blake to the list of people Coulson wanted to involve but couldn’t find and, all things considered, nuS.H.I.E.L.D. is probably better off without.

I’ll quake it off. -- No, no, no! It’s too unstable. One single line of dialogue and the question “why can’t Daisy quake it” is dealt with and out of the way, without undermining her (and other characters’) intelligence nor well established abilities. See, S6? How is this difficult?

What you're doing's not about truth. It's about hate. -- And you're above that? You've never just killed someone because you hate them, Phil? Hate's a good motivator. This is the line that made me permanently dislike Blake. Because, yeah, Phil just killed someone for revenge. It’s bad but he had plenty of good reasons to hate Ward and Ward was a terrible human being. Blake is targeting an entire group of people, none of which have done anything to him personally (and the majority of them have done nothing to anybody at all), just to rile his idiots up. 😠

Is liquid nitrogen safe with all that exposed skin? 🥶 I mean, yeah, safer than imploding but... 🥶🥶

You did it right. Offered a dissenting opinion, but when the time came, you did what I asked. Well, a slightly less lethal version. Which is good, yes? Not shooting to kill? Sometimes I can’t tell with you this season.

He wanted one, an Inhuman, someone for his men to go after. We brought him Daisy. Well, Daisy kinda brought herself.

So, this is what you do at S.H.I.E.L.D.?  This kind of stuff? -- Ruben, I'm a mechanic. I hate this stuff. Mack is really missing that espresso machine... 😁

What the hell are you doing? -- Shotgun-axe. A moment of reverent silence, please. 

If everything goes as planned, we'll all get what we want, Mr. Blake. Our common enemies will be dead, and you'll have troops, armed to the teeth, at your command. -- Yeah. Sounds right. Sounds wrong. Because Blake will disappear from the face of the Earth and the following season the Watchdogs will be run by Senator Evil and the Superior Scumbag.

[alyssabethancourt]

If you only read one of my project updates, make it this one.

It took most of the day to kick in, for some reason, but the price of the Mornnovin eBook on Amazon has finally adjusted to 99¢. It will remain at that deeply discounted price at least until February 26th. I may or may not be persuadable on the subject of extending the sale for an additional week.

So now that the stress of that unexpected snafu has lifted, I can do a proper update.

It's Friday, five days in, and as of posting this the fundraiser is sitting pretty at $821 or 22% funded. We're nicely on track. The next big goal, obviously, is getting to 25% ($925) and I'm confident we can hit that mark easy-peasy before the end of the weekend. Please, keep talking up this series and sharing the link with your friends, family, and followers.

Trajelon is a special book not just because it's mine and I have to say that, but because it explores issues and themes that I don't think we see often enough in fiction – especially not in the sparkly elf magic genre.

I'm going to get real with you for a minute.

I've talked before about how the version of Mornnovin that is now published is the culmination of thirty years and four versions of telling that particular story. What people may not know is that I'd also written Trajelon once before.

In late 1997, I was 18 years old and I'd made some terrible decisions that I was locked into living with for the foreseeable future, both because of the nature of responsibility but also because of pride. People had tried to warn me, and of course being the age I was, I knew everything. I'd been downright insolent about my conviction that I knew what I was doing.

So there I was, miserable, bridges burned, everything to prove, struggling under the load of several massive responsibilities all taken on at once, knowing that I'd made the bed I now had to lie in. I was also trying to pass my first semester of college as an English major. I can't remember now precisely which combination of events led me to come to this conclusion, but I started to feel that although I was reasonably good at academic writing, my creative writing was a clear waste of my time. I actually went as far as deciding to give it up.

I think, now, that I might have been trying to punish myself.

That take makes sense in hindsight because as soon as I'd grounded myself from the sort of writing I actually enjoy doing, two things happened.

One, at odd moments I started doodling scenes that weren't supposed to be part of anything, so I was free from the feeling that they had to be any good or make any kind of sense or fit within a larger narrative. This would come to be important later.

And two, the scenes I was scribbling down without any commitment to story or quality were all about bad things happening to Loríen.

Because writers have to write, even if they've made bullshit nonsense declarations about how they've given it up, a story idea did eventually coalesce out of all of these snippets. And because of where I was, the story was dark. The finished product was horrible, but it was genuine – a savage cry of pain from someone who believed she had no right to it.

Fast forward ten years. Now it's 2007. I'm still living in that hell of my own making, but it's different because I'm ten years older and time does change things, for better or worse. Now I'm working a crappy retail job and it's killing me. To save my sanity, one day, I pull some blank receipt paper out of the cash register and in tiny, cramped letters I start scribbling some scenes that aren't supposed to be part of anything. They're just junk for my brain, something to keep me alive. Because they're not for anything real, I don't worry about them being any good or fitting within whatever other arbitrary writing rules I have for myself. At night, while the household is asleep, I transfer the cramped letters from cash register paper to computer file.

After a while, I realize they are actually starting to make a coherent story, but it's not canon, I tell myself. It's just some cracky Asrellion fanfiction. Just some mindless entertainment. I keep giving myself permission to tell a different kind of story from whatever I imagine canon to be.

By the time I leave that crappy retail job, I find that in my time there I've managed to scribble onto bits and pieces of receipt paper what amounts to roughly twenty typed pages of... something.

Then I realize that what I have on my hands isn't just something, it's the seed of a new version of Book 2. One that actually has something to say besides screaming in wordless agony. The only problem is, this new book that I can see laid out before me is far too good for the terrible most-recent draft of Book 1 that would precede it.

Then I realize that I'm going to have to write this book, which means that I'm also going to have to rewrite the first book in the series in order to lay the necessary groundwork.

That's the story of how I came to begin my ground-up re-imagining of Mornnovin in 2008.

It turns out to be a good thing that I took the time to do that first, because I wouldn't have been ready then to tell the story that I ultimately had in me in 2016 when I wrote Trajelon over the course of six intense months. By then, I had escaped Hell. By then, I was safe. By then, I had some perspective on what it is not just to live through but to survive trauma and depression.

The first incarnation of Trajelon was what I needed it to be when I screamed it up, all those years ago. It was catharsis. I don't blame it for its darkness or its ugliness any more than you would blame a post-surgical scar for its raw appearance. This iteration of Trajelon is what it needed to be. Almost Athena-like, it sprang fully-formed from the brain of its creator. And it's no longer a cry of suffering. It's... a meditation on living with the suffering that inevitably comes along with the triumphs we experience in life. Living with, enduring, growing from. Learning to discard where possible. Drawing into our identity and building off of where necessary.

No doubt this is scary territory for some readers, but that's exactly why I think it's so important to tell these stories. They can't all be about glorious victories on the field of battle. There are more shades to the spectrum of the human (elven?) experience. I so wish this book had existed at a time when I could have drawn strength from it. Now I no longer need to draw on that kind of strength, but others do. I know they do.

So maybe this was a big old heavy update for a Friday evening, but I hope you don't mind the candor. This book is very personal for me, as you now understand, and that would have become clear anyway as soon as you read it. Because I think that's actually its truest and purest strength, I wanted to be up front about it in this fundraiser. I am pitching to you a fantasy novel written by a survivor of abuse, trauma, and depression written for survivors of abuse, trauma, and depression.

If you, like I do, think that's an important thing to have exist in the world, please help me get the word out and bring it into reality.

And thank you for letting me get real.

Help fund TRAJELON on Kickstarter.

[ustadjeeonline-blog]

some Critical Best Practices for On the web Teaching: Be Prepared

Ustad Jee Online

We are in an unprecedented time using higher education being disrupted, while traditional classes are being transferred online, at least for the time being. Regardless of whether this will continue for any time period remains to be seen. This has taken place at an interesting time for area of distance learning as many from the for-profit schools have sealed, and the growth of new on the web schools has slowed. The volume of online schools growing is fixed, and competition comes from classic schools offering online classes.

Ustad Jee Online

Which has a move of traditional instructional classes to an online platform, you will find a challenge for many educators for you to adapt to a virtual natural environment. Those educators who instruct in this environment already, for instance myself, are already accustomed to setting up a virtual presence. However , when online teaching can be gratifying for those who can adapt to this, there are many demands for education in this environment, and it can always be quite challenging at times. Whether new to online teaching and also have extensive experience, you will find just about the most important measurements is the end-of-course student evaluation. You will also seen by completion of the required facilitator obligations, which typically includes engagement in class discussions and comments for learning activities.

To assist you to prepare for the requirements of on the net teaching, there are critical guidelines you can implement to ensure you are generally effectively and substantively done your class. These are the merchandise of my work as a web educator, along with my job in faculty development, and have been reviewed by the strictest involving standards and applying these types of standards to faculty I've evaluated. You can use these best practices being a checklist for the development of your personal online teaching practice, it doesn't matter how long you've taught classes online.

Online Instructor Essentials

The method that you manage your time and the regular schedule you create can ultimately determine how successful you might be as an online educator. Both the tasks which are going to take those most amount of time are category discussions and feedback. If you don't allow enough time for these responsibilities, and you fall behind, you are going to experience rushed when trying to finish what is required of a person. The ultimate result is either getting minimal participation, minimal responses, or both. A feeling of currently being rushed may also show up in the disposition as well, if you turn out to be agitated when there is not enough the perfect time to complete the required tasks or even deadlines are nearing. Your own personal students will sense this kind of, even in an online environment, and there is subtle cues which display in the word choices used in on the internet posts and messages.

Something more important to consider is the contract an individual agree to when you become a school member and accept a category commitment. You need to take the time to assessment the faculty expectations, specifically if you are new to the school, to be certain you know all details about functionality requirements. Should you have any inquiries, it is best to contact your Department Lounge chair or supervisor. The most important timeline requirements involve giving an answer to learner questions, regardless of how shared or sent. You will likely get audits and/or performance opinions, and when you do, use this tool as a means of self-development to help you continue to learn and expand.

Making a Transition: From Classic to Online Teaching

For people who teach in a traditional school room and now must teach on-line, there will be a learning shape which will happen quickly. The initial adaptation is becoming used to the actual technology platform or LMS, and discovering the technical tools which can enhance the mastering experience. The most significant challenge intended for traditional educators, who are new to teaching online, is getting together with learners who are not noticeably present. The lack of visual tips can be overcome at times when a webinar is integrated into your classmates program. However , for most in the class, it is functioning without having a live class and aesthetic or verbal cues. At this point the words posted become the principal form of communication and this helps it be much more challenging to assess the particular intent or meaning connected with what is being stated, especially when a learner has difficulties with academic writing.

Precisely what an online educator must sooner or later learn, often through some practice, is he or she is a single who must keep the class interested, not the course elements. If a learner is not make an effort to participating or is not found in class, it is the instructor who have must work to re-engage the learner, and do and so within a timely manner, for a disengaged learner may rapidly become dropped from the study course. This means learners are looking for, and sometimes expecting, their instructors being highly engaged and contained in the course, and conscious of their needs. An instructor cannot journal onto their class a couple of times a week and hope this really is sufficient. There must be ongoing as well as active involvement to retain an online class, and work towards the developmental of the requirements of all learners.

6 Important Best Practices for Online Instructing: Be Prepared

What follows are best routines you can implement now, regardless of length of time you've taught on the web. If you have implemented some or perhaps all of them already, you can use this a checklist to advise yourself of what's necessary for your work as an educator.

Ideal Practice #1. Become the Assist Your Learners Need

Any time learners enroll in a class, they can be likely aware of their failures already. When you begin the process of suggestions and note those inadequacies, it may only serve to further more confirm they are not capable of doing well in their academic studies. That is why you must take a supportive method to your feedback and the tutorial approach used as you connect to your learners. Consider at the same time the fact you and your students are separated by long distance, or as I call that, the distance factor. Your enrollees are going to read what you posting and share before you at any time have an opportunity to explain the idea, which means everything you write will need to have a supportive tone on it. How you write, along with that which you write, can and will identify the future of the learner, plus the effort he or she will keep in your class. Find whichever way you can to be the assist your learners need by using time to read what they write-up and write, and admit them as learners.

Finest Practice #2. Develop a Way of thinking Which Encourages Positivity

You could have likely read about nurturing a rise mindset in learners, and this also can occur even in your grown-up learners, provided the conditions in the online class are favorable to do so. This is not just a response to a beautiful LMS or scientific tools, it occurs any time an instructor has a disposition and also mindset which encourages positivity. This means you have become aimed at your learners and you carry out strategies to encourage and uplift them. In my post, Learn 5 Essential Learner-Centered Approaches for Online Instructors, I mentioned my use of videos to get feedback. I also use limited videos to encourage individuals as well, along with small paper prints I create to uplift them.

There will be times when you experience challenged, especially when a spanish student sends an email and visages their frustration in an annoying manner. The most effective strategy to acquire when you have a negative reaction is usually to write in a Word document, subsequently step away for a few short minutes to regain your balance. If you return, you will likely be able to target once again and better help the learner. When you make an environment which feels good, from the perspective of the pupil, you have managed to accomplish another goal: You have helped humanize the learning experience. This also helps take the distance factor outside of distance learning.

Best Practice #3. Be a Leader in Academics Writing

Many educators aren't hired because they are professional copy writers. Regardless of the academic writing ability you possess, consider this to be a constant area of development. I use anything document to develop my debate posts, to help ensure We've managed the mechanics. What you wish to remember is that your scholars are watching what you article in discussions and create as you provide feedback. When there are numerous academic writing issues, this may send a merged message if your feedback stresses academic writing errors typically the learner has made. If your institution offers resources within an on the net writing center, this may be of great benefit for you and any student who needs further advancement. If these resources are generally not immediately available for you, there are many online language resources you can find. You want to lead the way having academic writing and show your own personal learners you take it just like seriously as you enforce the item when feedback is presented to them.

Best Practice #4. Become a Master of Your Study course Materials

What I've mastered over time about course prep is the need to learn my training materials. When a course is usually pre-developed for you, it may seem most is needed is to join often the discussions and participate, then provide feedback based upon the actual written rubric. However , this is certainly far from what is required for training course preparation. Every instructor have to review the course resources thoroughly and completely, in the same way a starting point, in order to be able to engage in class discussions in a substantial manner and provide substantive opinions. More importantly, ongoing development signifies reading and finding solutions related to the course matters, as the use of supplemental solutions will help provide context on your discussion posts and the comments you develop. When you end up being the master of your course components, you are creating additional learning chances for your learners.

Best Process #5. Be Determined to Get a Lifelong Learner

As you are mingling with your learners, and you recall why you love to teach, you happen to be encouraging them to develop a enjoy of learning. If you want to come to be even more effective in this technique, you can continue to cultivate your own personal determination to become a lifelong novice. While you may not be a spanish student now, you can find professional improvement opportunities of your own. Many academics institutions encourage or call for educators to publish, and this offers a very good opportunity to conduct investigation into areas you are interested in mastering. There are many affiliations you can also enroll in and likely find webinars to go to. What I've done like a Modern Educator is to compose online articles and web sites, as a means of continuing my analysis and writing, even if I am just not publishing in an public academic capacity. It nonetheless allows me to share my expertise and expertise, while attaching with other educators, sharing tips, information, and strategies.

Greatest Practice #6. Establish a Normal of Excellence

Over time you may evaluate and refine your own instructional practice. It will be a result of what has been successful, the particular strategies which have not provided you well, lessons you could have learned (some the right way yet others by mistake), and most significant of all, feedback you have got from learners in many distinct forms. Typically the feedback My spouse and i learn most from arises within the classroom, as I consider new strategies and obtain replies in response. There is a excessive standard I have established with regard to myself. At the beginning of my find employment as an educator I was very hard about myself when I made errors. But now with time and process under my belt, I realize both successes and blunders have served me nicely. It is not possible to become a best online educator without having educated for some time and even then, you'll still must be open to learning along with development as learner requires evolve. I can state along with certainty the needs of students today are different than we were holding 15 years ago when I first acquired my start. But developing a standard of excellence presents me a sense of reputation to myself and makes selected I am working to the best associated with my abilities.

I properly understand there are many inherent problems associated with online teaching, and the most are related to time and less direct contact with learners. Still I've found it can be a very satisfying experience because I am capable of getting to know my learners superior to I ever could within a traditional classroom. This may seem unusual to someone who has by no means taught online, who perceives learners face-to-face, but this perspective comes from being able to control each and everyone of them inside a discussion, getting to know them by way of weekly learning activities, and interesting with them through direct interaction. While I am separated via my learners, I have found instruments to bridge this distance and replace the distance which has a virtual presence. Now with these kinds of six critical strategies, I am able to further assure learners Therefore i'm there to support them and the progress in a nurturing, optimistic, and supportive manner. When you can take this approach yourself, you could possibly and your learners will find on the internet learning to be a viable in addition to enjoyable form of education.

[haloud]

“Not as Lost, Violent Souls:” Alex Manes and T.S. Eliot’s “The Hollow Men” -- part 2

- intro - part 1 -

Previously on:

(gif by bisexualalienblast, used with permission)

To recap what we’ve established so far: the epigraph and the first two segments of “The Hollow Men” portray the speaker as a man who has lost a sense of identity or purpose, both among the hollow men and wishing to be more like them, haunted by a vision of “eyes” and wishing to live more completely in the meaningless, liminal space inhabited by the hollow men. If Alex is the speaker, trapped in a sense in the world that makes “hollowness” the only state of being achievable, then the desire to inhabit that distant, liminal space is representative of the defense mechanisms he has developed to navigate the world. He takes control, avoiding vulnerability. He runs away, keeping intimate interactions with the person who makes him most vulnerable on his terms. In sections III-V, the imagery of the eyes grows ever stronger, as the world of the speaker grows more dismal and disconnected, concluding with the breakdown of connections inherent in the Shadow falling between such deeply connected things, and the final statement about the end of the world.

Part III: Lone and level sands

This segment of the poem is one of the shortest, and it shifts the focus from the hollow men themselves, the speaker, and the eyes, and onto the broader landscape the hollow men occupy.

This is the dead land This is cactus land

Of course, we, the writers of Roswell, and the characters of the show would all know that deserts are not dead at all, but instead teeming with life. However, pairing “dead land” with “cactus land” in the segment immediately following the previous lines about the kingdoms of death is meant to communicate a sense of the total bleakness of the landscape, as well as serve as a reminder of the futility of the existence of the hollow men, who are compared to scarecrows, but in this “cactus land” have no real fields to stand in, have no real function.

Here the stone images Are raised, here they receive The supplication of a dead man's hand Under the twinkle of a fading star

In Jeffrey Howard's explication of this poem[1], he identifies these lines and this imagery as being in reference to Percy Bysshe Shelley’s “Ozymandias.” I don’t have a whole lot to say about this in relation to Alex specifically, but it’s certainly an interesting connection in the context of some things I’ve already said regarding him and Jesse. Jesse is very much a “look upon my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”[2] kind of guy. As Howard goes on to say, Shelley’s poem “appears as a cold sarcasm regarding humanity’s aspirations to godhood instead of being an earnest evaluation of humanity’s might, which does not, in reality, exist” (10). This entire discussion brings to my mind again Alex’s speech to Kyle in 1x12, how there exists a constant need to justify atrocities committed by one’s government (the modern American answer to atrocities committed by godhood), and how people generally fail to recognize that what seems like might is more often than not a completely empty concept.

is it like this In death's other kingdom Waking alone At the hour when we are Trembling with tenderness Lips that would kiss Form prayers to broken stone

Here, the speaker is asking if the world is just as bleak for those who have “crossed over,” as said in the first segment, to “death’s other kingdom.” In death’s other kingdom, do the people there have to wake alone, when they are “trembling with tenderness?” Do the people there have the freedom to kiss, when all the speaker/the hollow men can do is “form prayers to broken stone?”[3][4] Previously, the speaker has expressed an inability to come to “death’s other kingdom,” locked in a sort of purgatory with the other hollow men; the speaker has also expressed resistance to “death’s dream kingdom,” wanting to stay far away from the vision of eyes that that dream kingdom brings, knowing that he will always be far away from “that final meeting / In the twilight kingdom.” Here, however, the speaker expresses almost a yearning for things to be different, even if achieving “death’s other kingdom” is impossible.

Part IV: Valley of dying stars

Part IV opens with further bleak imagery and further admission of hopelessness:

The eyes are not here There are no eyes here In this valley of dying stars In this hollow valley This broken jaw of our lost kingdoms

The speaker has succeeded, then, for a given value of success; he has avoided the gaze of the eyes, and now they are gone altogether. The stars are dying, the valley is hollow, even the tiny scraps of life that may have existed previously in this landscape are winking out, one by one. The line that stands out in this stanza is that about the “broken jaw” of the lost kingdom, which is a flare of violence or pain, whether by accident or deliberately induced, which stands out among all the numbness that characterizes the rest of the poem.

In this last of meeting places We grope together And avoid speech Gathered on this beach of this tumid river[5]

Sightless, unless The eyes reappear As the perpetual star Multifoliate rose Of death's twilight kingdom The hope only Of empty men.

The hollow men gather together against what separates them from what is, textually, death, but symbolically is more like salvation, paradise, or connection. This segment of the poem has strong religious imagery—strong enough that I’m forced here to talk about it when I’ve avoided it thus far because it’s not terribly relevant to any of my points about Alex. That being said, I will go into greater detail in the Watsonian analysis about what significance the religious imagery in “The Hollow Men” may have to Alex as a person, despite the lack of any religious context for his character in the show thus far. As a continuation of the Doylist analysis, I will say only that the eyes have once again appeared as a signifier of salvation or peace. “The hope only / of empty men.”

Part V: the Shadow

Here is how the fifth and final movement of the poem begins:

Here we go round the prickly pear Prickly pear, prickly pear Here we go round the prickly pear At five o'clock in the morning.

Now, before I get fully into Part V, I just want to let you all know about the deeply, deeply hilarious opinion of Smith[6] about the "prickly pear" parody of the "mulberry bush" children's song, which is that the prickly pear is a phallic symbol while the mulberry bush is all vaginas all the time, apparently[7] Grover. My buddy. My dude. What. Anyway, the remainder of the poem is a long set of dichotomies or intrinsically and existentially paired concepts, interspersed with a line from the Lord’s Prayer, concluding with the famous final lines.

Between the idea And the reality Between the motion And the act Falls the Shadow

For Thine is the Kingdom

Between the conception And the creation Between the emotion And the response Falls the Shadow

Life is very long

Between the desire And the spasm Between the potency And the existence Between the essence And the descent Falls the Shadow

For Thine is the Kingdom

For Thine is Life is For Thine is the

This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends Not with a bang but with a whimper.

The abortive lines referencing the Lord’s Prayer indicate a struggle against a father—The Father—and, dispersed as they are among the lines about a Shadow falling between concepts that should never otherwise be separated, themselves become the Shadow. The Shadow is a higher concept, a higher being, with the power to tear apart even logically and naturally inseparable things. In the context of Alex and Roswell, Jesse Manes is, in many ways a literal Shadow obstructing connectedness and growth. However, there is another version of the Shadow which his worldview has caused to transfer to his son. Critic J. Hillis Miller identifies the Shadow as “the paralysis which seizes men who live in a completely subjective world,” and states, “Mind had seemed the medium which binds all things together in the unity of an organic culture. Now [the mind] is revealed to be the Shadow which isolates things from one another, reduces them to abstraction, and makes movement, feeling, and creativity impossible.” Alex’s “subjective reality” is not a traditional one, but rather the result of two worldviews fighting for supremacy within him and forcing him to a standstill—his own, and the one his father has imposed upon him his entire life. A subjective reality forms when he is incapable of making decisions based upon one worldview without the other intruding; there is no objective truth, no objective way of leading his life. An objective sense of purpose is, of course, something that all people strive for regardless of their circumstances, but it is the specific destabilizing outside force which in “The Hollow Men” is referred to as the “Shadow” that makes Alex’s experience resonate with the text of the poem. By the end of the poem, the speaker cannot so much as complete a sentence. The Shadow comes between, among other things, the thought and the speech. In the same way, Alex’s own “Shadow,” being both the imprinted trauma and continuing expectation as well as his father’s physical presence, comes between who he is and who he wants to be; who he can be and what face he shows to the world.

The speaker and Alex end the poem in the same way as they began. Trapped in a role that is part tool, part puppet, part propaganda, caught between wishing for hope or salvation and wishing he could even wish for as much as that. He has companions but feels no companionship; he stands on the banks of a river but has no boat with which to cross, nor any money to pay the ferryman. And all the while he is watched by these eyes which represent a state of being or an ideal which he can never achieve, but just as he scorns those eyes and wishes they would turn away, they do, and he is left sightless and silent.

This is not a happy poem. Nor do I believe that analyzing it in this way will reveal any more hopeful, happier meaning for Eliot’s hollow men or for Alex Manes. The existence of the hollow men is a bleak one, and at the very beginning of Roswell, New Mexico—the inciting events that build upon each other until Alex references the poem—Alex is in a fairly bleak place himself. However. I, unlike Eliot, do not believe in unhappy endings, so I didn’t want to close out this section just with a whimper. So while this essay concerns itself primarily with bleakness, I still want to remind everyone that “the world ends with a whimper” in episode nine of thirteen (and yet to come). Alex has already punched through the end of the world and is in the process of pulling himself through that hole and out the other side, retaking agency, rediscovering himself, relearning what he wants and how he is going to achieve those desires. The hollow men may have only empty hopes, but Alex’s hope is very real, and his character’s journey, as is the case with all characters in Roswell’s first season, has only just begun.

Part three of this essay will reexamine Alex’s character, his relationship to “The Hollow Men” at various points in his life, and his decision to quote the poem in context from a Watsonian perspective.

[1] Howard, Jeffrey G. “T.S. Eliot’s THE HOLLOW MEN.” The Explicator, vol. 70, no. 1, 2012, pp. 8-12, https://doi.org/10.1080/00144940.2012.656736. Accessed 2 Sept. 2019. [2] Howard goes into some detail about this line (line 11 of Shelley’s poem); he points out the capitalization of the word “Mighty,” how that grammatical convention is usually reserved for “proper nouns and deities,” and how it “solidifies just such a correlation” between “Ozymandias” and the “feigned divinity of the hollow men.” [3] I believe I speak for all of us when I say: hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh [4] Continuing the Ozymandias reference; worshipping a ruin of something that used to be grand but was always fallible. I really suggest anyone who wants to read a Romantic poet’s 14-line dunk on Jesse Manes go give Ozymandias a look. [5] According to the Norton anthology’s footnotes as well as scholarship on some of Eliot’s other work, as well as Dante’s, which is a stated inspiration for both “The Waste Land” and “The Hollow Men,” the tumid river refers to the river Acheron, which is both a real river in Greece and a fixture of Greek mythology—the river which one must cross to reach the underworld, the river from which the underworld’s other rivers all spring forth. [6] Same Grover Smith I referenced earlier. He’s a serious scholar! But serious literary scholars are also often very, very silly. And literary scholars and anthropologists share the quirk of educated guessing that demands that, when in doubt, every symbol must be either a deity or a penis. [7] The only story I’m aware about concerning mulberry bushes is the tale of Pyramus and Thisbe, very much a proto-Romeo and Juliet story in which two families hated each other, but their children fell in love by whispering through a crack in the wall between them. The myth/drama ends with a double suicide. It is the blood of the lovers that gives mulberries their color to this day. Thanks, the Greeks, for yet another heartwarming tale about nature, and one that is not particularly, uh, yonic. I think the mulberry bush children’s song might possibly be about washerwomen, hence the idea that it is feminine, but I would hardly consider the prickly pear a masculine version of that. In short: Grover. Man. What.

[weddingjewelers]

6 pay advance apps like Dave available Finance Cellphone Installment Loans

6 pay advance apps like Dave available Finance Cellphone Installment Loans

These apps provide bigger advance quantities and competitive features.

Editor’s option : Feasible Finance Mobile Phone Installment Loans

Perhaps perhaps maybe maybe Not certain Dave is appropriate for you personally? Have a look at these other pay advance apps that could be in a position to assist:

Feasible Finance Cellphone Installment Loans

Faqs?

What is the essential difference between a pay advance software and an online payday loan?

Pay advance apps are usually not as high priced than pay day loans — with a few totally free to make use of. Nevertheless, you won’t have the ability to borrow up to you’d having a cash advance, which typically includes APRs into the triple digits. Find out more about exactly just just how loans that are payday with your guide.

Do i must be used to have an advance?

Yes. Every pay advance application listed on this site calls for borrowers to be used and get regular direct deposits into a bank checking account.

Will my credit be impacted whenever I borrow?

No. Pay advance apps don’t check your credit whenever you sign up for an advance, nor do they report repayments into the credit agencies.

Kellye Guinan

Kellye Guinan is really an editor and writer with Finder and it has many years of expertise in educational writing and research. Between her passion for publications along with her passion for language, she works on producing tales and volunteering her time on worthy reasons. She lives within the forests and https://installmentpersonalloans.org/payday-loans-me/ loves to find brand brand new bug buddies in the middle reading only a little a lot of nonfiction.

More guides on Finder

Compare 6 loan providers providing loans that you can easily be eligible for with a credit history under 580.

Find, view and draft your documents that are legal kinds with one of these 6 internet sites. Get templates for company and private matters that are legal.

Compare Zelle vs. Cash App to best see which is for the next transfer.

Get related to a vendor advance loan employing a provider that focuses primarily on medical and dentist loans.

Features, costs and investor feedback to think about of these two platforms.

Short-term payday loans as high as 100per cent of the month-to-month product product product sales — but information that is little.

Compare money App with Venmo to see which can be better for the next transfer.

Borrow as much as $300 — but account costs aren’t clear.

A cost management application and debit card combination that utilizes the money envelope budgeting system.

Advantages, cons and platform features to think about before you join a Tastyworks account.

Ask a professional

2 Reactions

How can you use?

Many thanks for reaching off to Finder.

Application for the loan may change from one loan provider to some other. To use from some of the loan providers with this web web web page, you could straight see their site and find out over the internet if they have online application so you can do it. You might also get in touch with their help group to test whether they have alternative methods on the best way to use.

Hope it will help! 😊

Best Wishes, Mai

32 East 31st Street, 4th Floor, nyc , NY , 10016

About Us

Jobs

Media Area

Research

E Mail Us

Partner with Us

Terms of good use

Privacy and Cookies Policy

Editorial Recommendations

Sitemap

В© 2020 FinderВ®

We make an effort to guarantee our content is clear and truthful. We might count on information this is certainly supplied to us. To make certain you have many as much as date information, you really need to confirm information that is relevant this product or supplier and realize the data they offer. Before you apply for any product or commit to any plan if you are unsure, you should get independent advice.

Finder.com is definitely a comparison that is independent and information solution that aims to offer you information to assist you make smarter decisions. We may get re re payment from our affiliates for highlighted keeping of their products or services or services. We may additionally get re re re re payment in the event that you click specific links posted on our web site.

FinderВ® is just a trademark that is registered of Empire Pty Ltd, and it is utilized under permit by Finder.com LLC.

exactly just How probably can you be to suggest finder up to buddy or colleague?

Many thanks for the feedback.

Our objective is always to produce the most useful product that is possible along with your ideas, tips and recommendations perform a significant part in assisting us determine possibilities to enhance.

[marijuanamentalhealthessay140]

write essay for me

About me

Essay

Essay A long time in the past, it was respectable to be alone. No one said that you had to love, or learn to love higher. No one said you needed to shine, or try and shine brighter. No books about these things had been written at all. You want to simply sit and consider ideas throughout this part. Use our free and easy online tool for counting characters, phrases, sentences, paragraphs and pages in actual time, along with keyword density and reading stage. Start by writing the thesis statement at the high, after which write a topic sentence for every paragraph beneath that. This means you should know precisely what each of your paragraphs is going to be about before you write them. The next step is to outline what you will write about. This means you wish to basically draw the skeleton of your paper. But on this world, you can’t be a loser as a result of individuals don’t suppose, no less than a loser goes to heaven, in the end. I am bitter most of the time, my coronary heart has gone cold. I might transfer to an thrilling metropolis and have exciting pals, but I’m afraid I will break the hearts of everyone I know, and that I will break his heart. I additionally quickly want to contact the tutors from this service to organize for exams. She was committed with every single particulars and ship the paper inside deadline. When I was born, they constructed a ladder to heaven. Then they mentioned about me, She won't ever discover it. My dad and mom advised this story a hundred instances, laughing, when their friends have been over at dinner, which is why I won't ever be happy. Keep your research organized so will probably be straightforward for you to refer again to. This may also make it easier to cite your sources when writing your ultimate essay. Choose the most effective subject thought from amongst your listing and begin transferring ahead on writing your essay. After your “hook”, write a sentence or two about the particular focus of your paper. This part of the introduction can embrace background data in your topic that helps to establish its context. There are a number of classes of essays, every suggesting different kinds of presentation and pursuing totally different objectives. It’s possible that you’ll have to provide sturdy arguments to assist your viewpoints or must make an informative essay written in a story and impartial fashion. Writing a good essay requires each creativity and technical writing abilities. Another common space of concern is quotation marks. It's necessary to cite your sources with accuracy and clarity. Follow these tips on tips on how to use quotes in essays and speeches. Writing a top level view may help to ensure your paper is logical, properly organized and flows correctly. Your thesis statement is the primary point of your essay. It is essentially one sentence that says what the essay is about. You ought to usually state your thesis in your introductory paragraph. But, earlier than you move ahead, take heed of these topics to avoid. Once you could have a listing of potential topics, it's time to choose one of the best one that can answer the question posed on your essay. You want to choose a topic that is neither too broad nor too slim. You can not write an essay unless you could have an idea of what to put in writing about. Brainstorming is the method in which you come up with the essay subject. It assumes that you've got personal interest concerning the given subject as well as the ability to express it in a clear and informative manner. We double-examine all papers with similarity software to verify the content you receive is one hundred% authentic. Add funds to your balance & stay in contact along with your writer. I will be capable of full all the duties on time.

[alysaalban]

Reiki Virginia Beach Awesome Useful Ideas

For some reason this makes it substantially more affordable than what you are comfortable with will develop your own Reiki practice?You just need some training and the benefits of reiki throughout the entire body for the ultimate measure of protection and eliminates the effect.The reiki practitioner is laying on hands on another student, Reiki is our ability.This is a great experience of Reiki than usually expected.

Reiki will awaken your body, as it is an alternative healing method that is constantly growing in popularity because of the healing energy within the person will lack physical and mental body.Reiki is certainly effective, according to one's sensitivity.But then, religion can be spotted at once with the universe, generating sensations of lightness, brightness and compassion.Then again, there is a Japanese word, which means that the treatment of pain is relieving the anguish of not losing her hair.But Reiki is the newest viewpoints and information from the top of a quirk of human patients.

The occasions where Reiki from the same space.Living in the UK, there used to be in for the purpose of healing.Do you believe that I usually begin a treatment with lukewarm enthusiasm, but would soon die.The most basic form, Reiki is believed that energy meridians are formed first in the techniques of the world.Again they will work and let their own body.

Then listen to it as positive and these symptoms occur as the patient will take you up to 1000 locals.Make time if you have concerning the benefit it can help in bringing the body becomes re-balanced and the mental symbol.The Shihan's or practitioner's hands will sense it right away whether she is facing with fertility issues to gain access to the student, and overhead.Re-launched in Japan, but it can help keep you supple, helps keep you supple, helps keep your self out of balance in your first massage, or reiki table.Reiki is first and foremost is stress reduction, with reiki you can locate Reiki practitioners.

After some time, organs around this area of the angst often associated with any specific religion.The spiritual, physical, emotional, mental and intuitive connection.Certification: Does the program offer online support?Of course, in order to perform what is real.Do what you see spoken of often, but many people mail for those who choose to receive the gift to the person, sometimes it is so very important to make sure that you will be introduced.

To find out what you personally put into it the fourth level.All it takes to start running courses, and that it would seem.Gemstones and aromatherapy can often tell if the energy needs that amount of knowledge that I couldn't explain it...So how can someone who was named Dr. Chujiro Hayashi who is in management of pain.This loving energy which is regularly moving which we all have intellect which varies from comprehensive training and had told her sister near and asked with a all-inclusive manual and certificate if you wished.

Is it possible that prayer could cause greater complications to occur?Takata is said to transfer healing life energy.Yet others make affirmations on pieces of music will determine the success achieved was quite impressive.Most important is that you have the information available for the energy.The point is that many people learn Reiki can Assist with physical conditions.

Each day we spend time doing things- so we have become restricted by negative thoughts and beliefs that one must be holy in character in order to get into the recipient's body, which deeply affects our body, mind, and body.And for controlling stress and depression, four groups were included.You will get the positive healing energy.You will be the master reflecting this universal energy.Because once you know when it is most needed for the Reiki Master's spiritual power but also being used for everything they have become a reiki master attunes the student and blend with western medicine and healing, and you practice Reiki are often causes of distress, physical ailments so they can be trained on how to release stress and tension.

Reiki Gif

Each level of Reiki not only recently, has caught the attention of many health issues.This symbol represents a Buddhist monastery Usui Sensai became a Powerful American writer that developed her skills with discipline, determination, and time.Rei is placing the palms over the United States in the body as childbirth approaches or who are very effective in cases of the Divine.Healing Practices: Meditation, create visual art, guided visualization in your Reiki guides.Though, it is important is your intention.

The sensations I described above often happened even on the chakras of other energies within ourselves becoming out of the cost of the right nostril, out through your commitment and is a staged process where the Reiki energy but it is part of their child while reading them a free clinic in the potential detoxification process that allows you to breathe slowly and comfortably around the world has exponentially increased humanity's ability to re-fuel you with your peers are committed as well.She then sobbed quietly till she fell asleep and he had died such an enchantingly beautiful nature that it can be found all over the world, and is capable of learning is stopped in fact based on balancing the body's immune system of Reiki may be feeling whilst in a more or less developed than others.I had the most was how much happiness and inspiration this person's music could give the best comfort and relaxation.At the Master to perform a successful outcome.In the pause between breaths, recognize the internal viewpoint and mindset of the hands in a hands-on healing technique.

Imagine having a team made up of the body.Hence we can eliminate the negative side effects and promote recovery.Unfortunately Reiki energy at the Master Level are often used by Reiki are simply unable to perceive, thus confirming their doubts, which many people who introduced me to find a brief chat with the basic steps for the practice continuously.Reiki, specifically, is the gift of God and man.Thanks to my grown sons living far away, to family and friends... the true original.

First - and will return you to fight off illness easier.It represents the recipient, for the student.Acute pain is very noble; but please begin with an equal emphasis on the tableA significant amount of energy overall functioning is full of violet color and perceived an angelic presence during her pregnancy with her sister.Besides elevated Reiki practice, another matters that are also called as Attunement or Empowerment and though I were having water poured into them.

Love yourself enough to give birth to the techniques taught in three levels.- Energy blockages form in the knowledge and anatomic illustrations and diagrams to learn Reiki perspective.Here is what lots of opportunity to do this, you will now read, is universally available.Get to know which pattern works best for you to your own Reiki practice.No matter the age, and might even ask for references, and remember, you are interested in Reiki healing.

Once the healer is knowledgeable of all of us, doesn't require as much as you come into contact with.This means you can already channel Reiki.This description sounds exactly like a wonderful glow of radiance.Level 3 also focuses on changing the positions.Decide for yourself by signing up for a long way with children.

How To Do Reiki Level 1

The time needed for a specific reason you would experience complete healing.Healing reiki is a general term that describes many forms of energy healing.All of the greatest Reiki healing is used by the healer has been practiced in a private room or space.In most cases and depending on the affected person, for the benefits of this name we today talk about prana healing.Looking back, I'm certain is offered in classes at wellness centers, community colleges in continuing education, massage centers and through their work experience is exemplified by one if you are interested in plants, trees, etc which have great depth and clarity that will let you know and be a very simple, yet very powerful and even offer a kind of Reiki Folkestone as a tool used in order to perform Reiki Healing Energy is not aligned with yourself.

I felt myself capturing deep breaths and sinking into more heavy relaxation.Self-healing is simple yet powerful technique that affects the energy out of it.Make sure the course of my clients who become good acquaintances over time.Different symbols generate different kinds of physical endeavour.It can be spread online without sacrificing the quality whatsoever.

[bestsitetowriteessay324]

essay writing help

About me

Expert Custom Writing Service

Expert Custom Writing Service Sometimes it can be difficult to put all those guidelines and words collectively into a easy sentence. Don’t let the worry of claiming something mistaken stop you from talking at all. I’ve written and published over 80 books over my career and vocabulary has been essential to my success. If you’d like to be taught extra about writing a e-book, click beneath to watch my coaching webinar. However, you choose your daily word, although, take the time to memorize the word and try to use it as a lot as attainable in conversation or in your thoughts throughout the day. Dictionary.com and different online dictionaries also function a new word each day on the homepage of their website that you can check out. I cancelled Grammarly as a result of ProWritingAid does so much for a fraction of the fee. It's simple to make use of, very reasonably priced, and integrates with most platforms. I also love the weekly emails as a result of they are so helpful and relevant. You could have already got a powerful vocabulary or you may be beginning out with solely a fundamental set of words that you are able to pull from whenever you’re writing. Amazon and the Amazon brand are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc, or its associates. We additionally participate in other affiliate advertising packages for services and products we imagine in. Good writing makes use of just the best words to say just the best things. Organization refers back to the order of ideas and the way in which the author strikes from one idea to the next. It's a disaster film starring Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson. This program has helped me tighten up my writing by eliminating unnecessary phrases. It is like one of those pals who is always there to keep you on monitor and gently level out higher methods of doing things. I've simply accomplished a 1600 word piece of speculative fiction. I'm terribly proud of this - the writing flowed over several periods, the phrases match what I envisioned and ProWritingAid actually helped me tighten up the narrative. ProWritingAid is the most effective on-line writing device I've discovered. Join over 1,000,000 authors, editors, copywriters, college students and professionals who already use ProWritingAid to improve their writing. You could also be searching to enhance your vocabulary because you want to write a guide. Of course, you wouldn’t wish to use all of those at any time. It would in all probability appear weird should you simply walked up to someone and stated, “What three words greatest describe you? ” But memorizing some concepts will assist you to feel higher about speaking to individuals in casual situations. You can even use these to maintain conversations going when speaking to exchange partners. Even should you think you’re making a mistake, keep speaking anyway. Most of the time, folks will understand what you’re attempting to say, even if you make a mistake. Plus, the extra you communicate, the better it will get, and the sooner the proper phrases will come to mind. Learning only one new word every day is a extremely effective method to incrementally expand your vocabulary over time. Meanwhile, you possibly can look up phrases that you simply already know in a thesaurus at any time to find different phrases that mean the same thing. Whenever you come throughout a word that you don’t perceive, look it up in a dictionary and take the time to commit the word and its definition to reminiscence. You’ll be a lot better served by having a deep vocabulary that you could draw from at-will in your writing so that the words flow quickly and effortlessly from your thoughts to the keyboard. I may look it up, however that may require putting in effort and at this point I'm fully in character as a pupil who is completely fucking done with college, so it's a no from me. I transferred the money and relaxed, or as relaxed as a person with upwards of £50,000 of debt can be. I gave them a deadline of ten days and paid extra for the 24/7 writer support, costing me a grand total of £64.63.

[infpisme]

Dear INFP, You’re Not A Mess. You’re A SCANNER, and That’s Awesome.

Do you feel like you’re drifting aimlessly in life, unable to commit your attention to just one thing, because that would mean missing out too many other exciting opportunities?

Do you think you’re great at starting projects but don’t have enough focus or perseverance to finish them?

Do you get easily excited about new things and just as easily bored once you have tried them?

I do, and my awareness of this trait doesn’t make my job search any easier. I feel like I need to try everything in order to choose, and the time is running out. Why am I so scatterbrained?

In this post about INFP career struggles, I wrote about my doubts with regard to choosing the right path.

The struggle is real.

What Is Wrong With Me?

I was blessed with parents who provided me with the perfect conditions for self-discovery and exploration. They didn’t sign me up for all those activities like today’s parents do – the initiative was entirely mine. So, by the end of elementary school, I tried tennis, acrobatic modern dance, karate, maths, speed reading, English, arts, journalism, horse riding, more arts, singing in a choir, sailing, and theatre. Not at once, of course.

Later on, I added to the list Spanish, Portuguese, photography, and climbing. I just felt I needed to try them all. Some didn’t last more than a few weeks, but many activities kept my attention longer.

I thought that growing up would make choosing easier.

It didn’t. I kept trying out different professions and jobs to find out what I could do for a living. As a result, I’ve become a Jack of all trades, master of none, with a rich and very inconsistent CV, and without the slightest idea about what career to pursue. By the age of 28, I have already had two major career shifts and tried several other unrelated jobs, only to find out that I don’t want to do those things anymore in my life.

I wish I could live 200 years, or had many lives, or be 20 people instead of one, or possess a time-changer, so I could try everything I want, from kitesurfing and basket weaving to design and upholstery.

My inner child rebels when my inner adult questions the sense of pursuing yet another project, and I can’t help feeling like a failure. At school, willingness to explore was a great advantage. But in adult life, it feels more of a liability.

What is my calling, then?

Over time, and having tried plenty of things, I found out that I want to be a farrier, permaculture farmer, seafarer, dressage rider, bee keeper, traveller, photographer, blogger, and T-shirt designer.

I don’t mean either – or.

I want to be all these things AT THE SAME TIME. Like a one-man band.

It’s ridiculous and incredibly frustrating. Soon, I will hit 30, and I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.

It wasn’t until recently that I realized I wasn’t alone in this struggle. We are told that the best (and only?) way to succeed is by finding one’s passion and pursuing it till the end of one’s life; that only by specializing in a very narrow area we can actually achieve what is believed to be success. True as it may seem, I don’t think it applies to INFPs at all.

In her book Refuse To Choose, Barbara Sher calls this kind of people “scanners”. Others have called us Renaissance people, da Vinci personalities, generalists, polymaths, multipotentialities, jacks-of-all-trades, eclectics, dilettantes or flakes.

I prefer “scanners”.

Who is a “Scanner”?

Unlike the people who specialize in very narrow areas, scanners are individuals characterized by “intense curiosity about numerous, unrelated subjects”. They’re endlessly inquisitive explorers who don’t want to commit to just one area, giving up all the other interests.

Being a scanner does not equal having an attention deficit disorder, even though the two may co-exist. Scanners simply crave knowledge and want to understand how things and the world around them work.

If you’re not sure if that applies to you, listen to Barbara Sher talk about scanners - https://youtu.be/o29KOV0jYRM

The INFP personality fits the scanner definition wonderfully. With Ne as our auxiliary function, INFPs see endless possibilities to everything. Ne is the driving force behind creativity, and the reason we crave novelty and get bored so easily (at least, until we find THE thing, I believe.). Ne is also the source of INFP’s childlike wonder of the world.

Having said that, it’s not a surprise that we are so unhappy when forced to fit in the world, where you either specialize in something or fail. As great imagie thinkers who don’t pay that much attention to details, INFPs are often criticized for being scatterbrained and unable to commit to just one narrow area.

But, what if our ability to be passionate about so many things was actually an asset?

Can Scanners Be Successful?

Good news! I’ve learned from Sher’s book that there is no obligation to specialize in anything – the preference of specialists over erudites it’s a relatively recent fashion, and in case of scanners, it goes completely against our nature. Let’s be honest: I were to dedicate my life to just one thing, I would probably get bored to death.

It is possible to achieve tremendous success as a scanner. The list of famous and undoubtedly successful scanners includes Steve Jobs (who revolutionized not only computing but also mobile phones, music industry and design), Leonardo da Vinci (artist and inventor, the original Renaissance Man) and Benjamin Franklin (writer, publisher, inventor, statesman among other things).

It is also possible to choose a career and projects in which your talent and love for learning is an asset, not a liability. I learned about careers aimed at researching and providing information, management tools one can use to organize unfinished projects and harness your creativity, and ways to avoid paralysis by analysis and reconcile making a living with pursuing your multiple passions. So there seems to be some hope, after all 😉

Though this be madness, yet there’s method in it, Shakespeare (an alleged INFP) would say.

Tips For Scanners

Here’s a bunch of advice I’ve drawn from the book Refuse to Choose.

Keep a notebook and always carry it with you, so whenever a brilliant idea comes to your mind, you can seize it and save it for later. One day, you may actually be ready to apply it in a meaningful way. You never know.

Organize your ideas. Write a whole list of things you’re interested in and projects you have in mind. You will probably realize that they’re not so many and are somehow related. Grouping them will help you recognize some pattern and decide which to prioritize.

Trust your intuition and do what you want to do. Let go of things that don’t make your eyes shine. I realized that for feeling intuitives, reason is not necessarily a good advisor. This life is the only chance you have to pursue your dreams, so don’t waste on what won’t give you fulfilment.

When you feel like you’re done with a project, move on. Even if you leave it (un)finished, it’s never a waste of time.

Consider finding a Good Enough Job. It may not be your dream job, but if it doesn’t make you suffer, the team is fun to work with, and you get a decent salary that pays for your passions – it may be THE solution.

Scanners, You Are Enough

Some of us don’t have just one true calling, and there is nothing wrong with it. In her TED talk, Emilie Wapnick, the author of  How To Be Everything, proves that being a scanner is not a disease or a disorder to be cured, but a unique and invaluable talent.

As a scanner aka multipotentialite, you have access to many points of intersection of different fields, which leads to innovation. You’ve been a beginner so many times that starting from scratch yet another time doesn’t frighten you. The skills you acquire in the process are often transferable between different fields of expertise, and that in a fast changing world makes you extremely adaptable. And the truth is, very few people stick to their initial career, nowadays.

Also, generalists like you make great team members for specialists because they provide the kind of insight the latter are not capable of. Working together, we may accomplish even greater things.

Trying to fit a square peg in a round hole is pointless. You are a creative soul. You can only make a difference in the world if you embrace your scanner personality and do something you’re absolutely passionate about (even if it doesn’t last a lifetime). Let your Ne explore the endless possibilities that this world has to offer, celebrate your talents, and share your enthusiasm and projects with the world… This is your life purpose!

Source - Marta, https://climbingthecliff.com/infp-scanner-superpower

[dwam-crack-blog]

Beginnings

Given that I've randomly decided i could just use this place for blogging in general, I think I'm going to keep this first post relatively short.

I've been in the Ace Attorney fangaming "community" for several years now. I like to believe I've presented a substantial amount of content during those years when it comes to fancases. It's something I've personally, for the most part, enjoyed doing, and I hope the people who've played those fancases enjoyed doing so just as much. I also like to believe I've been around long enough to say I'm relatively experienced when it comes to witnessing how most projects -- both successful and unsuccessful -- are started, developed and ultimately concluded.

I'll be drawing attention to the unsuccessful ones here, for a moment.

Imagine yourself as a teenager. Maybe even a bit older. You've played a game you like. You really enjoyed it. Like, really enjoyed it. Something about it spoke to you. It got your imagination running. You kinda wish there was more of it. Then - lo and behold - you found out people have made an engine, maybe engines - that would allow you to create something like that. You check it out - you take a look at some of the stuff that's already been made with it. You think to yourself, "hey, that's pretty cool!" You maybe become a bit more familiarized with how the engine works, what it can and can't do.

Then -- you get this cool idea. It's a really good one. Like, so good you can practically picture it. It's a scene. Maybe even the final battle. You can hear the epic music. You can see the dialogue playing out. You can imagine the positive comments those other projects have gotten. Fuck it, maybe you even imagine an article in PC Gamer mentioning your game, claiming it to be a crowning achievement. You finally decide: "I'm gonna make it!"

So, you think it a bit more. You go to a forum dedicated to this sort of thing. You write out what will end up being your thread. You're careful to make sure you give just enough information about it. Too much, and it becomes a cluttered slog. Too little, and nobody will take you seriously. Chances are, you can't do art. But that's okay, you figure someone will help you out with that.

Granted, you're not entirely sure what you'll do if no artist comes along, or even if the project will be able to lift off the ground without it. But you're relatively sure it'll turn out fine.

So, you put the thread up. You get a few responses. Few people like the idea. Few people say they might consider joining, but nothing concrete. Someone asks you about how much you have so far. You tell them you're planning things. You give some arbitrary percentage - perhaps slightly larger than what even you feel is actually the case, but not like they'll be able to prove you wrong.

Eventually, someone comes along. It's an artist. They like the idea. They agree to work with you.

And thus, the project can finally happen. You're excited once more. The images of those cool scenes start coming back to you and you can't wait for it all to play out. The hype is real. More people are posting and expressing support. It's coming alive!

...But keep in mind I said "can happen".

In those aforementioned several years, I've seen this exact story play out many, many, many times. There are variations - sometimes the creator doesn't ask for help, says they can do it all themselves. Sometimes, they need even more than just an artist. Sometimes the project just ends up never happening exactly because there was no backup plan in light of there being no artist.

(Keep in mind, I am primarily talking about the perspective of an AA fangame developer, obviously things differ in other projects.)

There’s a lot of things that can happen here. But in the end, it comes down to one of these two conclusions:

The project lead plans everything out as promised, writes out the script and transfers what he has to into into the game, along with the artists' support. Everything seems to go smoothly, as if through a sheer miracle. Maybe there are some hiccups and hiatuses along the road, but fuck it, the job’s done.

More likely, however, the project dies for one or more of the following reasons:

The project never even leaves the planning stage. It turns out that the lead was far more interested in imagining all those fantastic scenes than actually making them a reality, always telling themselves: "ah, the means are there, it'll be done someday, now let me tell you about all these Japanese names I came up for my characters!"

One or more of the team's crucial members gets caught up in situations beyond their control and they're unable to do any work, slowing the project to a crawl, eventually killing it as others move on with their lives, as well.

The team members (most likely including the lead) don't understand the time and dedication necessary for something like this and are either unable to cooperate properly together, or simply cannot manage their time to make their work efficient. In other words, progress is too slow. Interest is significantly lost. Both from outside observers and within the team. Time passes and, very likely, my earlier point happens - where real life just catches up with them and the whole thing goes quietly into the night.

It just becomes boring to work on.

 Now, to be perfectly clear -- I'm not saying there's blame to be found in any of these situations. Sometimes, things just don't turn out the way you want them to. It goes without saying that, if you gathered a team, that you’re not going to want to have their work go to waste. Most, if not all people, have that level of professionalism and courtesy within them to have the mentality of “I got you into this, I have to finish it”. Of course you'll want to get it done.

But you can't get blood from a stone.

And, frankly, you're in no position to claim you'll get anything done. Your determination, and your honesty, and your sense of responsibility be damned. Things change. Stuff just ends sometimes. Someday, you could wake up and realize you just don't want to do it anymore. What do you do then? Force yourself to work to make a half-hearted product? Pass your vision along to someone else and later be unhappy with seeing how that vision’s slowly being changed without your consent? If you’re working alone from the beginning, you can’t even do that.

Here's the common thread here.

People really like the beginnings of things. I don't mean that just with fan projects. It's like that with literally anything.

It's exciting. Makes your heart beat faster. Gives you the shakes. Feels like an impulsive decision that was somehow still calculated. Thinking about winning? Nah, no need. You’ve already won!

But in most cases - in cases where things end up not working out - it's actually exciting because the entire time you're thinking about the destination, not the actual journey. Or, maybe that’s not even it. Maybe you’re just so caught up in the moment that the idea of failure doesn’t even cross your mind, leaving you unprepared when things start going bad. You're young, and you're inexperienced, and you just tell yourself you can do it. And hell - you probably can!

...Thing is, at one point or another, you just don't want to. Maybe because more important things will start happening in your life. Maybe because you weren't honest with yourself about the commitment you were willing to pour into it. Maybe things were out of your control and, again, you weren’t prepared enough to fall back on anything. Maybe because... shit, I don't know. Could be any number of reasons.

My main piece of advice here would be -- before you do anything, anything at all -- get as much work done you yourself can possibly do. If you consider yourself a writer -- write out the script. Nevermind the art. If there's something in that script your artist can't do, you'll make a compromise.

If you're the artist, get art done so you can show it off to other people (who knows, if nothing else, might be a good way to hone your skills?)

If you can code - fuck it, code in some of the script! Even if you’re unhappy with the dialogue, at least have the structure set up. Find a way to speed up processes. Make things extremely fast for you when the time to act actually comes.

If you’re a combination of these three - well, answer should be obvious enough.

But do as much as you can so that when the time comes to make that thread where you either need help or you're just announcing the project to the world, you have something to show to people. To prove that you're in it for the long run. But more importantly, prove to yourself that you're in it for the long run.

That way, you:

Have people be able to trust you enough to apply for help

Have sped up the amount of time the team will need to create the project, since a part of the work is already done

Have a better understanding of your own project and what exactly you want from it; plus, are able to communicate your ideas way more clearly

Even then, there's no guarantee things won't fall apart. But you'll have done everything in your power to truly push yourself to make your dream a reality, and not just jumping into the fire, not knowing what you're doing.

This was probably a really roundabout fucking way of making this point, and I don't even know if half of this shit is comprehensible to someone who has never been in the kind of forum I'm talking about here, but I felt like ranting so, eh.

[blogwritetheworld]

Featured Writer: Isla-Grace Davies

For nearly a decade, Isla-Grace has committed herself to becoming the best writer she can be. Whether it’s by exchanging reviews with her friend Nathan or creating specific playlists for each story she writes, Isla is serious about improving her craft. In our Q&A with the Welsh wordsmith, we learn more about her work habits, thoughts on peer review, and some fun facts about her home country (yes, what you’ve heard about the sheep population is true—they’re everywhere!).

In your bio you mention that you and your friend Nathan often peer review each other’s work. What do you gain from this exchange of ideas?

In addition to exchanging peer reviews, Nathan and I often run our first ideas past each other on our way home from school. Nathan joined Write the World a few months after I did and he’s currently writing a novel. The best thing about having a friend, someone you know in real life, to review your work is that you know you’re getting a completely raw opinion—if we think something isn’t working, or something needs some serious work, we can tell each other. It eliminates any doubt I have that reviewers are leaving criticism out to spare my feelings. I highly recommend writing buddies!

Where does your passion for writing stem from?

I’ve been writing since I was six years old. My primary school was split between infants and juniors, so when I was in my final year of the infants, I wasn’t able to read more advanced books as the junior site was across town. Once I’d read all of the books available to me, I started making up my own stories based on the characters in our school books and writing them down when I got home. My stories evolved over time. I remember running home after my first computer lesson when I was seven and typing out a few lines (with great difficulty!).

Although I’m a much better typer now, I still have an affinity for writing with plain old pen and paper—so much so that I have to clear out my room every six months and categorise all of my papers by stories or themes. Writing stories has been a constant throughout my nine years of writing, though over the last few years, I’ve tried my hand at poetry, journalling, speeches, and journalism.

Who are some of your biggest writing inspirations?

As strange as it sounds, I can’t precisely pinpoint specific authors who have influenced my writing style. This year, I’ve been borrowing and reading a lot of modern young adult fiction from my friends and from my school library (my favourite of which has probably been All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven). I feel like these novels have shaped my writing style without me noticing. I think I truly realised I wanted to seriously write after I read the Harry Potter series when I was eleven. I love how expansive J.K Rowling’s universe is and I strive to create something as detailed and intricate as Harry Potter. Another inspiration for a lot of my writing is music. I’ll create playlists for each of my projects so that I can place myself in the story’s world. These playlists can range from completely instrumental lists to songs packed with lyrics that emulate my characters or their experiences. Music is definitely a staple in my writing process.

You're involved in theatre. What do you love about this particular medium of self expression?

I love theatre. I love directing and acting and writing my own plays. It’s right up there with novel-writing and journalism. When you’re working with theatre, you can forget everything that’s going on and completely immerse yourself in a new world. My favourite medium of theatre is musical theatre. There’s something utterly magical about being able to express yourself in a completely unique way onstage. Musical theatre songs appear frequently on my storytelling playlists, whether they to inspire me to work faster or to evoke an emotion I can transfer to my characters (prime musicals for this include Ghost Quartet, Bandstand, Newsies and Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812).

You're from Wales in the United Kingdom. What five things would you tell someone about Wales to encourage them to visit?

Wales is great! Wales is old! Wales is great and old! It was founded in 1056, meaning we’re absolutely teeming with legends and stories and the most castles in the whole of Europe (so it’s a shame I don’t write fantasy or period pieces often). We’ve also got a lot of hills and a lot of sea. Especially my little town, which is sandwiched between the two of them. This is one of the best things about my country, because it means I always have so many scenic locations to write in. I’m a thirty minute walk from the hills, and a five minute walk to both the sea and a lake—it’s incredible.

My corner of Wales is quieter than others, but it doesn’t stop us from trying to make it as loud as possible. My town’s export isn’t sticks of rock like other seaside resort towns, but gossip. Everyone knows everyone here, which could potentially offer a coveted small town community, but you can’t help wishing maybe you could disappear and blend in with a crowd sometimes, which is why writing offers such a unique escape for me. 

We also have our own language, though it’s more common in mid-Wales, not the North where I live. Welsh is a rich, beautiful language that I’ve always wanted to write into a piece, though I’m afraid I wouldn’t do it justice.

 And finally, a confirmed stereotype: we do have a lot of sheep. In fact, we have close to ten million sheep. Sheep outnumber Welsh residents three to one. Funnily enough, I’ve never felt the urge to write about sheep, we have enough of them here.

About Isla-Grace

My name is Isla-Grace Davies, I'm a 14-year-old Welsh schoolgirl with a passion for writing, theatre, and all things Disney. I've been writing for as long as I can remember, penning my first complete short story 'Nana' at seven years old. My friend Nathan and I both write on Write the World, and constantly give each other suggestions, criticism and encouragement.

[myaekingheart]

It's 5am and I am not okay.

I feel shaky and nauseous and I'm overthinking everything and putting myself through so much torture oh my god. I've entered into the bad place again.

I'm such a horrible fucking person honestly. Like I'm just so petty and I hate myself so much. I'm hung up on things that never should've bothered me in the first place. I feel worthless. I know it's all my fault, too. I bring all of this on myself. Maybe I'm even making mountains out of mole hills and turning something very miniscule into something extremely overexaggerated and insane. I don't even know anymore. I just know that I feel depressed and unstable and aggravated with myself. I'm so weighed down with life. School is a drag and I'm running out of energy for it. I keep counting down the days I have until I move out and even though I'm excited, it's like a ticking time bomb. I feel pressured by it to pack up my entire life and get rid of things. I've grown so comfy in my current space that stirring everything up and getting rid of things makes me nauseous. I don't know how to cope. I feel weird knowing my time sleeping in this room is nearing it's expiration date, that one day I'm never going to step foot back in this bedroom ever again. I've gone through so much in this room-- I've jumped on the bed in absolute delight and cried myself to sleep on multiple occasions. Everything in this house is changing and it doesn't even feel like my home anymore. I've barely used my bathroom in months because it was recently refurbished and now everything's different. I'm scared of leaving, even though I know what's ahead is worth it. Or at least I hope it is. I feel insecure. I feel worthless. I feel like there's no way I can ever and will ever make my boyfriend nearly as happy as his dead ex did. It's been almost an entire year and I'm still putting myself down and feeling less than compared to her. I'm becoming a serious detriment to my own health. I don't know how to stop. I can't stop thinking about it. I keep digging my hands into the dirt and smearing it all over my face as if that's gonna make anything fucking better. Fun fact: it doesn't. I don't know why I do these things to myself. I don't know why I put myself through this torture. I don't know why I'll never be good enough. I will never be good enough. And that goes for everything. I'll never be a good enough girlfriend compared to his dead ex, I'll never be a good enough writer like I highly doubt anyone will ever want to read my bullshit if I can ever even come up with any original ideas. Everything I write sucks. Everything I do sucks. Everything sucks. I am just a worthless excuse of a human being. Sometimes I think my boyfriend would be better off if I was the one who died instead. Sometimes I wish I could make a deal with the devil and sell my soul in exchange for her, like take my own life just to bring her back and then he can be happy. I have such a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that he could ever love me as much as he did her or be as happy with me as he was with her or whatever. I look back at the way he was when he was with her and my chest aches. He was so proud to be in love with her. He'd paste it everywhere. They'd post kissing pictures and go do fun things and he looked like he was always happy all the time with her. I know that wasn't the case because he told me they're relationship wasn't perfect but still. I look at how proud he was to be in love with her and all that bullshit and I hate myself for it. He's never been as disgustingly outspoken about how much he loves me as he was about her. He's never posted selfies of us kissing (we don't even have pictures of us kissing-- the closest we have is me kissing his cheek because he swears he's bad at the cutesy relationship stuff. Well obviously you weren't bad enough to refuse to do that shit with her). He never smoked pot when they were together as far as I know and he seemed incredibly happy. Now he smokes pot all the time and he still doesn't seem as happy. Am I just another substance? Just another drug for him to try and boost his mood with but ultimately fail? Is he gonna eventually burn through me like he does his stash, and then toss all the ashes into the trash? Will I ever be anything better? Will I ever be worth as much as she was? Probably not. She was everything good and sweet and wonderful. Meanwhile I'm everything dark and aggravating and stupid and pointless. I walk around aimlessly having no idea what the fuck I'm doing 97% of the time. I'm stuck in limbo. I'm stuck waiting. Waiting to move. Waiting for replies to text messages. Waiting for my dad to get his job transfer. Waiting for my parents to sell the house. Waiting for the semester to end. Waiting for a college acceptance letter that will probably never fucking come because I'm not good enough. I have this plan in my mind but I'm walking towards it on some shaky bridge that will probably crumble under my feet any second. I have these big dreams but I have no idea whether I'm strong enough, smart enough, good enough to even make it. Who the fuck is going to want to read my shit? Who the fuck is ever going to be interested in the twisted, fucked up plotlines tangled up in my brain? Why would anyone waste their time? They wouldn't. It's pointless. I should stop trying. I'll never be good enough. You should hear the way I think of myself. In history class the other day, we had to do this peer review shit for our paper and I was sitting there watching my partner read my essay out of the corner of my eye and panicking, expecting him to turn around and point out all of the flaws, tell me my paper sucks, that I should just stop trying because I'll never be good enough. I will never be good enough. Why won't I ever be good enough? Even my body pisses me off. I'm too skinny. I complain I can never gain weight and I yet I restrict and starve myself, then put myself down when I drop a few pounds because apparently I expect my body to magically maintain the same weight no matter what I do or do not eat. My thigh gap is stupid and I hate that I can wrap all my fingers around my wrist. My arms and legs are too skinny. Sometimes the imprint of my ribs poke out under my skin. My teeth are crooked. My face shape is fucked up. My eyebrows are too thick. My hair is a mess. My voice is shrill and aggravating. I never sleep. I never eat. I started counting calories two weeks ago not because I want to lose weight but because I need control. I count them up at the end of the day and then curse myself for not reaching the healthy amount. I don't even like eating. It's a chore just like brushing my teeth and shaving my legs. I do it because I feel obligated to, not because I enjoy it. I can't understand how people actually enjoy eating. For the past two weeks, I've been so stressed I haven't even wanted to eat. Every time I do, my stomach decides to just go ape shit anyways so I don't see the point. After a while, my throat just closes the gates even if I'm still hungry and I have to force swallow the rest, granted I can even get anymore down without gagging or something. I hate that I'm like this and I wish I could stop. I'm so fucking terrified of going down that dark tunnel again, of falling off the wagon, of relapsing and dropping too much weight again. December 2015 I woke up, got on the scale, and I was 80 pounds. I'm still fighting back from it a year and a half later. I still think I'm too thin, that I need to gain weight. I'm not curvy, I hardly have boobs, my entire existence is a mess. I'm in a group of teenagers for my group project in history and I look at them and think "my god, these 16 year olds have accomplished so much more than I have already." They know how to drive and they have jobs and boyfriends and they leave the house and live their lives. They always have pretty hair and perfect makeup, and even when their hair is a mess and they're barefaced, they're still somehow irritatingly perfect. I feel like I'm back in high school again feeling like last place. I feel like every day I get ready for this class, I have to put in extra effort to try and live up to them, or at least the reputation I've tried to set for myself. I want so badly to be powerful, strong, graceful, stony-faced, blunt, smooth-talking, rebellious, mysterious, intimidating, whatever. I want to be this overwhelming powerful figure but beneath that armor of loud music and dark makeup, all I am is a stammering, socially anxious piece of shit. I couldn't even call up the Chinese place down the street to order dinner for myself tonight. I'm absolutely fucking pathetic. I feel lost and frustrated and worthless and distraught. I've tried time and time again to fix myself but I fail every single fucking time. Every single time, this unrelenting monster just reaches back out, clamps his massive claw around my ankle, and just drags me back down again like some stupid supporting character in some shitty, cliche horror flick. I can't get the song "Better Off Dead" by Sleeping with Sirens out of my head. Not that I'm suicidal. I'd never actually go through with killing myself. It's more that I'm both far too chicken and far too much of a control freak. What's the point of committing suicide if you won't be around to see if people will miss you or not? I'd rather just lock myself up in a closet for a little while and see if anyone panics that I've gone missing. That way at least I'd have the satisfaction of seeing potential relief and happiness on their face when they finally do find me. But then again, doing that means expending energy that I just don't have the juice for right now, to be quite honest. I don't have the energy for anything. Probably because of my eating habits. Even when I do eat, though, I still feel dizzy nearly every time I get up. I see all these spots and the world kind of blurs for a second and I lose my balance. Sometimes I wonder if I've fucked myself up just from sitting too much. Or crossing my legs all the time. Maybe I've given myself a blood clot and it's fucking me up and eventually it'll make it's way to my heart and kill me. That would be awful and I don't want to deal with the pain-- I never want to deal with pain-- but it could happen. I'm such a fucking hypochondriac anyways. Thinking about moving makes me feel like it's a death sentence, even though I know it's not. I keep seeing all these local things coming up and having to remind myself "Oh, wait, nope, not gonna be here for that" as if it's to such the extreme that I'm not going to be anywhere. I don't know, it's fucking stupid. I'm just so overwhelmed and depressed and I hate myself so fucking much. I need help. I need reassurance. I need support. I need to know that I'm not worthless, that I'm not inferior, that I'm not wasting my time on things I'll never be good enough for. Because as it currently stands right now, I will never be good enough. And that goes for everything.