#I will not be able to do anything else today

[kkayyerr]

Little girls don’t smoke.

Summary: Rafe catching little!reader smoking with Pogues. He isn’t very pleased about that, but he know how to deal with her.

Warnings: Age regression, dark!Rafe, manipulations, slightly forced regression, smoking.

„C’mon, he won’t find out!”

 

Kiara said, giving you a cigarette. You have never smoked before, and you were pretty unsure if you wanted to try. But Pogues were almost insisting; they wanted to see your reaction to the first cigarette, and they also wanted you to finally break free from your overprotective boyfriend. They were happy that you had sneaked out to hang out with them, and they wanted to remind you about your past lifestyle at least a little bit. 

You took a cigarette from the Kiara’s hands and put it in your mouth, frowning at the bitter taste. You coughed when the smoke filled up your lungs, but you had to admit that there was something addicting in that process. Though you were resisting to take another puff. 

 

„You know he’s always smoking, right?”

 

Sarah asked, raising an eyebrow. They didn’t know about your regression, and from their perspective, it was looking like an abusive relationship. They didn’t know that you needed his care, and sometimes you also you needed his control, even if you won’t ever admit it. You nodded, quickly folding under all the pressure and taking another puff, when you heard a loud cough behind you. You knew it was him. 

Rafe didn’t say anything. He just silently approached you, taking a cigarette from your trembling hands. He took a long puff before giving it back to Kiara. He was trying not to show any emotions, but his clenching jaw was betraying him.

Rafe was not happy about that. At all.

 

„It was nice to see you, folks, but we’re going home.”

 

Rafe wasn’t feeling like fighting with them right now. He needed to deal with you going against his rules first. He grabbed your arm roughly, almost enough to make it hurt, but you kept your mouth shut, knowing that anything you’d say would trigger him even more. When he had finally dragged inside the house, he silently commanded you to go upstairs and wait for him, and you did as you were told. You knew that he needed a couple of minutes to calm down, so he won’t freak out. Every minute felt like eternity, and when he finally entered the room, you sighed with a small relief. You saw that his expression softened a little bit, as he was trying his best to remain calm. 

 

„Who gave it to you?”

 

Rafe broke the silence immediately, making you even more anxious. His voice didn’t sound angry or upset; it seemed like he was curious about the whole situation. You didn’t want to betray Pogues by blaming your actions on them, but you also knew that they were partly responsible for that. 

 

„Kiara. But it’s my fault for taking it.” 

 

Rafe nodded, knowing that he would have a friendly chat with her later. But for now, his main priority was to make sure that you wouldn’t ever do stupid things like that again. He didn’t plan on punishing you. Why would he do that? The punishment would only have a temporary effect on you. He needed something that would last much longer than that.

He gently cupped your face with his hands; his thumb was caressing your cheek. Your gaze was already filled with naivety and with sincere devotion. It seemed like you were almost on your breaking point and he just had to push some buttons.

 

„Daddy isn’t mad at you, little one.”

 

He said, watching how quickly the anxiety look on your face turned into something else, something that only he could’ve caused, using the specific words that he knew for sure would trigger you enough to fall even deeper in the littlespace. He wanted you to regress even harder, so you won’t be able to take care of yourself and also won’t be able to sneak out or runaway from him like you did today. He needed you to need him. 

 

„I just care about you a lot, and they clearly don’t. I want you to understand that, baby.”

 

You nodded, even though you weren’t paying attention to his words. There were other things that made you feel so little. His gentle touches, soft voice, pet names. He just made you wish that you could’ve been small forever. But who said you couldn’t? You would be his little girl, always behaving and never leaving his side; isn’t that sound like an actual dream?

 

„You’re still Daddy’s little girl, yeah?”

 

The second he said that, your face was buried in his neck, and your hands were holding him tightly, demonstrating just how much you needed him. Rafe’s eyes closed as he was enjoying that peaceful moment. His little girl was here, with him, under his care and control. The pogues can call it abuse; they can call it whatever they want, but for both of you, it was an escape. Rafe was your savior, and you somehow became his. He slowly picked you up, so you would hold onto him more comfortably. 

 

„Do you want your pacifier?”

 

Rafe knew that he had won when, instead of words, he heard your quiet murmuring. 

Taglist: @tinylilacbun @rafecameronsloverrrrr @aew-regression-cove

[graciecatfamilyband]

.

[callsign-rogueone]

an unexpected visitor

cadet!Brennan Sorrengail x cadet!reader words: 1.6k 🏷: sfw (taking a break from the overdue kinktober stuff!), canon-typical injury, why do rider cadets always try to kill each other at 3am, you get stabbed, sorry, but Bren mends you up, no pronouns used for reader but you wear feminine pj's and smell like flowers <3, bren just met you but he's already down bad, naolin cameo, marbh is sassy, i just love writing lil cadet bren.

“Find Brennan Sorrengail.”

It takes you a second to place the name -- the boy in your year with the mending signet. The general’s son. He’s not in your squad, or even in your wing, so he has every right to put you out of your misery — but something is screaming at you that you can trust him, that he’ll help you. He wouldn’t have become a mender if he didn’t have a good heart, right? Surely he wouldn’t leave you to die, or finish you off himself to thin the herd.

You’ll die without his help anyway, so it’s worth a shot.

“You are not dying today. I will not allow it.”

“How exactly are you going to—”

The door swings open, and you thank the gods that you remembered which room was his. 

He’s visibly confused, probably because he doesn’t even know your name, and you’re knocking on his door at three in the morning in negligeé. He blinks at you once, twice, about to ask why you’re here — and then he spots the knife currently sticking out of your ribcage.

“Please,” you rasp, clinging to the doorway with a bloodied hand. “Wasn’t gonna make it to the healers…” 

He doesn’t hesitate, tossing his own blade aside, yanking a towel down from the hook by the door and throwing it over the bedspread, guiding you to lay down with a gentle hand on your elbow. 

You cry softly as the movement shifts the knife, and he murmurs an apology as you lay back, helping lower you down. Your eyes lock with his, and for a moment you’re entranced by the flickers of emotion in them, the minute movements of his pupils as he takes you in… you've never seen anyone with irises that color, such a warm, rich amber.

He pulls away first, focusing back on the issue at hand. “Can I tear this? I’ll fix it later.”

It takes a second for you to realize that he’s talking about your shirt. “Sure,” you wheeze. 

He hooks his fingers into the split from the knife and pulls, the fabric ripping easily. He’s quick to drape another towel over your chest, letting you keep some decency. 

You really should have chosen better clothing — you’re a little embarrassed to be laying on his bed in a now-shredded pink satin teddy and a tiny pair of shorts, but in your defense, when you got out of bed to relieve yourself, you didn’t think you’d be getting into a knife fight, and then knocking on a near-stranger’s door to ask him to save your life. 

He doesn’t seem to care at all, more worried about the wound than anything else. He’s not telling you anything, but the crease between his eyebrows and the tone of his voice as he mutters a few colorful words gives it all away. 

“Is it bad?” you rasp.

“The blood is bubbling. That means the knife went through your lung.”

“Oh,” you say hollowly. Talking is agonizing, but you feel the need to fill the silence, to make this interaction any less awkward. “This is my first time being stabbed, so…”

He huffs out a laugh. “You’re doing great. It’s serrated, so it’s going to do more damage coming out than it did going in, but I should be able to fix it. It might scar, though. I’m not that good yet.”

“I’ll take those odds.”

“I need two hands for this, so I can’t block the pain.”

“Just do it,” you beg, tears already flowing down your cheeks. “Please.”

He settles a warm hand on your side, wrapping the other around the hilt. “Ready?” 

“Yes, please just get it over with—” you try to muffle your scream with your hand, but it still slips out into the air as he starts to ease the knife back out, the jagged edges ripping your skin further.

“I know, I’m sorry,” he soothes, his thumb stroking over your rib as he continues to pull slowly, slowly… then there’s a clatter of metal hitting the floor. “It’s out.”

You almost regret asking him to remove it. The cold air of the room hitting the inside of the wound feels like your skin has been lit on fire, and somehow breathing is even more difficult than it was before; the blade was plugging the hole in your lung, and now it feels like you’d just accidentally inhaled half a glass of water. You bring an elbow up to cough into, your eyes widening as you realize that the metallic taste in your mouth is blood — and the warmth pouring down your side, too.

“Fuck, okay… I’m gonna try to fix it now. Just hold on for me. Try to relax.”

You sob in relief as the pain dulls, squeezing your eyes shut and trying to focus on anything other than the burning feeling in your lungs, and not being able to breathe. 

Layer by layer, the wound joins itself back together, leaving only a pink scar behind. Your breaths even out, your eyes fluttering shut and your posture relaxing.  “That’s it,” he soothes. “I’m almost done.”

You don’t respond, and he realizes you’re unconscious. Not an abnormal reaction to having such a serious wound, but a slightly inconvenient one: he can’t ask you what happened, or if you have any other serious injuries. 

The fabric slowly stitches itself back together, the bloodied patches disappearing along with the dried blood coating your skin. The stained towel and the red under his fingernails are the only evidence that anything had happened. That, and the bruise on your arm — though that looks to be a few days old. 

Whoever attacked you must have snuck up on you, thinking one quick stab would finish the job. If they were coward enough to take such a cheap shot at someone in the middle of the night, they’re probably dumb enough to think that would kill you. He wonders if they met their demise, and they’re currently laying dead in the hallway, or if they made an escape. You probably didn’t let them get away with this. You don’t seem like the type to run away from a fight, especially when the other person struck first, and when you’d shown up at his door it didn’t look like you were being chased, either. 

He fades away the bruise and a papercut on your finger, admiring the softness of your skin against his. You’re warm, which is a good sign that you didn't lose too much blood. 

You look quite comfortable laid out on the side of his bed, your head resting on your arm and your legs tucked up toward your chest. You probably aren’t going to wake up any time soon. It’s nearly four in the morning, anyway, and you need as much sleep as you can get after tonight’s events. 

He carefully climbs in on the other side, giving you plenty of room, and pulls the blankets over the pair of you. You stir, burrowing down into the warmth with a soft, content sound. 

He watches you for a moment, comforted by the steadiness of your breathing. Might as well get some sleep, he decides — formation is in less than three hours.

———————————————————-

Thankfully you’re an early riser. The only thing that could make this any more awkward would be if he had to wake you up. 

You yawn and stretch, cracking an eye open to see that his face is only a foot away from yours. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he replies, a light blush covering his cheeks. “How are you feeling?”

“Well, I don’t have a knife sticking out of me anymore, so pretty good.”

He exhales in relief. “I was worried that you wouldn’t remember, and then this would be super awkward.”

You laugh, sitting up. “Thank you for saving my life and letting me crash — and I’m sorry. It was pretty dumb of me to walk down the hall without a knife or anything. I thought we were safe now that we’re bonded, but I guess not.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault, it’s theirs.” He pauses. “Did you…”

“No,” you answer. “I didn’t kill him. Just knocked him out.”

Him? Brennan’s jaw clenches. “Was it that prick from third wing?”

“How did you know?”

“Lucky guess. He seems like the type to go after someone unarmed and unaware. Especially someone half his size.”

You snort. “Seeing the look on his face at formation is going to be so fun.”

He blinks at you, questioning how calm you’re being about this. You take advantage of his stunned silence, leaning forward to press a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you. I owe you one. Two, really.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he manages. 

You swing your legs over the edge of the bed, making a graceful drop to the floor and bending down to pick up your slippers -- he’d straightened them up for you. How sweet. You spot the knife on his desk, nodding toward it. “Do you want this, or can I keep it as a souvenir?”

“You can keep it. You earned it, after all.”

“Good point. Thanks.”

He keeps his eyes on the wall as you slip out the door, trying to look at anything except the amount of skin that shows in that little pajama set you’re wearing.

As the door closes behind you, he can hear you greeting someone -- not embarrassed at all to be walking down the hall in your pajamas, your slippers in one hand and the dagger in the other.

He flops back down onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling and replaying the interaction in his head, analyzing every word for any hint of deeper meaning. 

“Good morning.”

He jolts upright, snapped out of his thoughts. “Gods above, Marbh,” he pants, recovering from the shock. 

“You’re going to be late.”

Is it possible for a dragon to sound smug?

There’s a knock at the door before it opens -- Naolin. “Why aren’t you dressed?” He sniffs once, twice, his eyebrows creasing in confusion. “And why does it smell like rose petals in here?”

[jellyskink]

The Tooth And The Following Headache. (A cringey crackship)

"Alright Pines, you're good to go now. You remember where the exit is yeah?"

(Geez, the more I see this guy the MORE I find myself needin' to buy another pack of cold ones for the week.)

The day was about as fun as you'd expect it to be with "him" around. I was just about to have a good day too, of course things would go wrong as soon as I was about to relax and finish up work.

Ford Pines had his monthly appointment with me today, an appointment that I was booked with because of Oleander's meddling probably.

"Yes Dr.Ibis, I remember. H-How is everything looking if I may ask?"

(Horrible, if I was presented this during dental school I'd probably have thought it was the BEFORE photo, not AFTER.)

"Eh, I've seen worse. But you're doin' better than last time."

(That was a lie and a truth both in the correct order. Geez what HAS this freak been doing? The first time I saw him I was surprised he hadn't kicked the bucket or passed out at the very least from what problems he was dealing with. It was almost like I was checking off everything in the book on what was wrong with this guy. I mean, damn if I didn't know better I'd assume this guy was eating glass for fun or something.)

"R-really? Oh my Muse will be so pleased! The care you and Dr. Oleander have been providing me has been astronomically wonderful! My muse certainly knows how to find the best people to introduce me to!"

(Ugh, here we go again. "My muse" this, "my muse" that. I wish he'd can it about that damn triangle, the problems that kindergartner art project looking thing have been causing have been one of my biggest headache bringers to date.)

"Yep, he sure does. Now can we get along to the part where we just schedule your next appointment? I'm a very busy man you know, patients to see and all that."

"Of course! I'll need to run it by my Muse before it's finalized, but I can certainly get the word to him!"

"Sure thing bud."

(Thank god, this is going quicker than I thought. I really hate having this guy ruin the mood in my office with his... everything. What did Irene even see in this guy? This wacko clearly didn't have a personality besides being a sad clingy puppy dog whose entire being was dedicated to his "Muse".)

(Irene was pretty secretive about certain things regarding that guy whenever we ended up talking over the phone or the occasional coffee. Which for a normal doctor that'd be expected, patient confidentiality and all that. But Irene crossed that line long ago as soon as she took him on as one of her patients.)

(The guy wasn't extremely interesting to my knowledge outside of his extra fingers. If anything he was boring or weird, sometimes both at the same time. The guy wasn't particularly charming, he did LOOK handsome, and OCCASIONALLY wasn't the worst to be around, but geez I hated everything else about the guy.)

"Ah Dr.Ibis before I forget, I have something for you."

(OH GOD NOT THIS AGAIN.)

Before I even had a chance to react any further, Mr.Triangle lover quickly reached into his bag and pulled out something small with reddish-brown fur and held it out to me.

(What even is that? Is that a hamster? No, it was a vole. He brought me a freaking vole. It wasn't even alive. And he was holding it out to me with that stupid smile of his.)

I don't know what came over me, but the next thing I knew I slapped the dead rodent out of his six fingered hand. As it smacked the ground, I saw my patient flinch and begin to step back from me.

"GET YOUR DAMN ROADKILL AWAY FROM ME!"

"I-I'm sorry for upsetting you Dr.Ibis, I only wanted to-"

"What? I don't want to hear about how your "Muse" gave you dead rats as gifts again! It's disgusting! I can't stand dead animals! I don't want you to act like your dramn crazy mu-"

I wasn't even able to finish the sentence before I felt myself getting pushed against the wall with enough force to knock the wind out of me. I winced from the surprise as I began to process what happened.

It was that... that... Six fingered psycho!

(What the hell!? What is he doing??)

I was always kinda worried about this guy being the reason why someone ended up hurt, I never expected him to be the literal reason for it!

"DR. IBIS."

An unexpected tone shift from what I was used to from the guy, his voice was now booming and gruff.

(OKAY I'M REALLLY NOT USED TO HIM BEING SO LOUD OR AGGRESSIVE.)

"PLEASE... WATCH WHAT YOU SAY... ABOUT MY MUSE..." His tone lowered into a raspy hiss as the words fell from his mouth.

I really wanted to respond to him, to fight back, SOMETHING. And yet I found myself frozen with fear.

The next thing I know, I felt a rough, trembling hand tilt my head up. My field of vision focusing on the unhinged man in front of me.

"BAD THINGS... HAPPEN TO THOSE W-WHO UPSET HIM..."

(I-is he? Crying? What the hell?? Why is HE the one that's upset here? He was the one who flipped out on me!)

I didn't have much time to process everything as he moved away from me. I heard a loud crunch from the side of me as he did.

(THE HELL?? Did he break something??)

I glanced to the side of me instinctively, there was a hole in the hall next to me.

(Okkkaaay. Well it definitely wasn't the first time the office drywall got punched or broken. Whether that was ever by me at times was something that was a secret I wasn't going to tell any higher ups anytime soon.)

"Hey... Mr.Pines?"

"..."

The guy slowly walked over to the wall at the opposite side of the room, a blank stare on his face, a crimson fluid leaking from one hand onto the floor as he held it to his side, while his other hand clutched his creepy locket to his heart.

Before I could continue speaking, he began whisper to himself while facing the wall.

"i'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorry."

His head banging against the wall with eerie tempo as he spoke in a whispered voice, his tone now monotone.

"Mr.Pines??"

(What the hell? I knew this guy was probably insane but this was taking it a whole new level!)

"I'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRY."

The horrid tempo was now picking up speed.

"STANDFORD STOP IT!"

"..."

(He finally responded?)

The room was eerily silent as I tried to process what had even happened. After what felt like an eternity of sitting in awkward silence, the unhinged man I was watching turned around to face me again.

"U-um Dr.Ibis? Forgive me, I spaced out while we were about to finish our conversation earlier. W-what were we speaking about?"

A pretty nasty bruise was now starting to form on his forehead.

(THE HELL DO YOU MEAN WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT??? WTF WAS THAT???)

I did my best to collect myself. I vaguely some of the info Oleander shared with me about her patient. I think she mentioned how he had certain traumatic triggers or something?? Damnit now I wish I had paid better attention to her phone call that day as she yammered on.

"It... wasn't important. Just...if you're going to leave me dead animals, do ya mind if perhaps you wrap them up before handing me them or something?"

"I-it isn't traditional I suppose, b-but I'll check in with my muse if I could be given grace to do that sort of thing. Forgive me, I don't mean to screw up showing my thanks to you..."

(Geez and now we're back to another episode of watching the saddest man ever. Ick, Oleander I swear you owe me big time for all these bones I'm throwing your patient.)

"Listen I appreciate it, in a way... I just prefer.... live animals? And I don't like rodents very much."

"I-I see... well I can't promise my muse will be happy with any changes, but I'll keep note of that."

"Listen Stan-"

"StanFORD."

"Stanford. Why don't we just pretend today didn't happen? I'm pretty tired today, and it looks like you could use some rest too."

"I... suppose my muse might not mind that. I don't think I can rest, but I know what you mean."

"Thank you Stanford. Now... why don't I drive you over to Oleander's office for a sec? I think she needed to see you for a second."

(Pleasedon'tputupafightohgodIdon'twantyoudyinginmyofficeIdon'twanttodealwiththepaperworkoranyotheraxhahstingproblemsthat'dcomefromthathappening!!)

"I-I suppose it wouldn't be too much trouble as long as we don't take TOO long. My muse seems to trust some of her judgement a lot..."

"Yeahh... well I'm just going to close up shop now.

"Of course Dr.Ibis."

(Irene I swear to god you owe me big time on top of a LONG conversation about what's the plan for your patient in the long term. If I'm going to be dragged along with you on your quest to be the queen of bleeding hearts I don't want to end up sinking with you.

Geez I need a drink after this, guess I'll be needing to buy TWO packs of cold ones from the store after this "fun" work day.)

Unfortunately for future me, one of the new "gifts" I'd start to get from Standford FREAKING Pines were eyebats. Live ones. And they were just as annoying as him. Easier to get rid of though...

(AHH I HAD SO MUCH FUN WRITING THIS. I thought I'd gve it a go with writing in a more first person style when it came to a Dr.Ibis focused fic.

Yes I was possessed by a 14 year old girl harnessessing wattpad, ao3, and tiktok as I wrote this, but the idea of these two having a genuine friendship/relationship sounds hilarious to me.

I hope you liked my attempts at channeling Yusuf energy! Unfortunately he does have the tsundere curse a bit because this is a enemies to lovers kind of fic lmaoo. Hopefully the Ford energy wasn't the worst either??

I totally loved your fic other anon fanfic writer! With Jellyskink's permission we should definitely team up and write many cringey and wonderful fanfictions for this au!

Speaking of which, I'm glad once again people liked my silly little Oleander and Calamari fic! The little trickster kitty is now one of my favorite things about the au!

I love that Calamari was in the cat show Ford lost in! I'm guessing she might've won?

Either way, totally looking forward to the rivalry between Ford and Calamari lmaooo!!)

OKAY I LOVE THIS

Ibis is like "why are the hot ones always crazy"

Thank you for writing for my sad dumpling again!!! 💖💖

[youknowwho-mustnotbenamed]

November 24: The Black Lake | word count: 786 | @wolfstarmicrofic

Nearly the entire population of Hogwarts is enjoying the warm summer weather on the grounds. Most of them are crowded around the shores of the Black Lake, talking with friends, splashing in the water, or tossing a ball back and forth. It is entirely too loud, but Remus won’t turn for the castle while the warmth of the sun warms the chill in his bones and the clear air fills his lungs.

He sighs and shifts his back against the rough bark of the tree, abandoning his textbook for a moment to watch James and Sirius. They are on the shore of the lake, shirtless, and wrestling in the shallows. At one point, they had a frisbee, though Remus doesn’t see it anymore. Though he can hardly focus on anything else when Sirius is right there. Sirius, who has water droplets scattered across his torso, catching the light and drawing Remus’ eyes in, no matter how much he tries to pull them away.

He is helpless but to watch as Sirius’ head falls back in a laugh, exposing the pale column of his throat. There is a primal part of him that wants to burrow his nose into the crook of his neck and breathe in his scent. Remus desperately needs to know. Does he smell like the scent that always surrounds him, or is that just his cologne? He probably smells really good, like something earthy. Sandalwood maybe, or maybe even something smokey, like tobacco?

He feels heat rush to his cheeks, and forcefully tears his gaze away, burying his nose in his book instead. He’s being foolish. Sirius would never look twice at him that way. Not only is he dangerous halfblood werewolf, but he is a boy. Even on the off chance that Sirius did feel the same, Remus could never risk their friendship, one Sirius would probably be better off without anyway. So he will admire from afar, admonishing himself every step of the way. It’s better this way. It’s better than broken hearts and lonely nights. He doesn’t care how selfish it is. If he can’t have Sirius in the way he wants, he will take whatever he can get.

“Enjoying the view?” Lily asks, leaning against the tree next to him. He hadn’t even noticed her approach. See, this is a problem. There is a war going on. If he is too focused on his stupid crush on Sirius, he could compromise not only himself, but whoever he is working with.

“Bugger off.”

“Still?” She gasps. “Remus, it’s been years.” She slides down the tree until she is sitting next to him.

“I know, Lils. I’m pathetic.”

“Why don’t you just tell him how you feel?”

"We've had this conversation before, Lils. I know you are trying to be supportive, but he's straight."

“What if he isn’t?”

He scoffs. “Are we looking at the same person? Sirius is the straightest boy I know.”

“You said that about James.”

“Yeah, well, I’m right about this one.” He insists. She should know better than to get his hopes up like this. It will only lead to him crying alone in the middle of the night over an unrequited love. Like Echo and Narcissus, one forever forced to live in the shadow of the other who would never look twice and the former.

“Remus…”

“I’m not going to risk him looking at me like I’m repulsive. I’d rather live in ignorance.”

“You never chose ignorance.”

“This time I do.”

“Well, if we are jumping to conclusions today, I also have an unrequited crush.”

“You do?”

“Well, you see, I could ask her, but… you know, I might be disappointed by the results of doing so.”

“It’s different and you know it.”

“Really? How so?”

“She’s not your friend. And you’re not a werewolf.”

“Come on, Remus. You have to get over that.”

“Get over it?! I have to live with this forever Lily! I can’t just… just forget about it.”

“You may not be able to forget about it, but you can’t use it as an excuse. If I used being muggleborns as an excuse, I would hardly be the top of our class, would I? No, instead I used it to prove them wrong about their base assumptions toward me. You are more than a stereotype, Remus. And if Sirius can’t see that, then he isn’t the one for you.”

“Sometimes, you are a bit too perceptive, Lils.”

“That’s why I’m your best friend, because I don’t let you feed me the same lies you feed everybody else, including yourself. You have to stop hiding behind these walls, Remus, otherwise you will be stuck right here for the rest of your life.”

[sinnabarmoth]

Worthy of Devotion (2/9)

Pairing: Sea God|Rafayel x Worshipper|Reader (fem)

Summary: It is Reader's first day at the temple and she realizes she has a lot of work ahead of her to return it to its former glory. While she is working the Sea God stops by for a chat with this interesting follower of his.

Content Warnings: Adult language.

Length: 3k

Chapters: (1)

Read on AO3

~~~

You had thought for a moment upon waking that the events of yesterday were all a fantastical dream. Then your gaze focused on the room around you in all its opulence. It had been real. It had all been real! You really met your god and he delivered you to the Pearl Temple!

You swung out of bed and took in the room in the light of day. It was still dusty, particles of it floated through the air catching like mist in the golden rays of the morning sun. Your eyes traveled up and up to the high vaulted ceiling and saw paintings of ocean creatures swimming with Lemurians staring back down at you. It was so detailed you thought one of the turtles would leap off the ceiling and land on you.

There were various other odds and ends around the room. There was a desk, a sitting area, a large standing wardrobe with more depictions of sea creatures carved into it, an ornate fireplace with its mantle lined with vases full of long dead flowers, and another door that led into a separate room.

There were various other odds and ends scattered throughout the room including small chests of gold inlaid with pearls and shells but you didn’t dare snoop through any of it despite the curiosity that gnawed at your stomach. Or perhaps that was just hunger. You had not eaten much yesterday and you were feeling the pangs of it today. You decided to leave the rest of the room to explore later and left to find something to eat.

Once again, the difference in the temple from night to day was drastic to say the least. Years of neglect had taken its toll on a once splendid place. Getting down to the main level you could make out the damage even better. It broke your heart to see it in such disarray. This was your most sacred temple and it had been left like this all these years? And for what? Because everyone had been too scared to venture this far into the ocean?

It took a bit of exploring to find a kitchen. You had found the bathing rooms, the actual bedrooms for followers, and two different storage closets before stumbling upon the kitchen. Like the rest of the temple it was not in great condition. Your stomach grumbled for food but even if you could find something to eat you couldn’t cook anything here. So you put aside your hunger and started cleaning instead. You went back to the storage room you found and pulled out a broom, a bucket, a set of rags, and returned to the kitchen on a mission.

First was sweeping up the broken glass and plates, leaves, animal droppings, and sand scattered across the floor. Then you went about cleaning out the hearth and wiping down the counters. You righted chairs and dumped any still usable plates, cups, bowls, and pans into the large water basin. You’d get scrubbing on those later but you really needed food now or you may very well pass out.

There was a door leading back outside and you were relieved to see it led to a garden. It was overgrown but you spotted some of the crop still clinging to life. It had grown wild in the years of being untended but you were able to pull up some sweet potatoes and even a couple ripe okra. You were hoping for more readily edible foods but this would do for now.

You found a well and tied the bucket onto the remaining rope. Thankfully the well wasn’t dry and it didn’t seem to be infected with worms or something else that would make it nonconsumable. Better to boil it just to be safe though. Oh wait, now you needed firewood.

“I just want something to eat!” you groaned. You bitterly bit into a raw piece of okra and went back into the temple to find an axe.

“All I wanted was to go on my pilgrimage, honor my god, do a little cleaning, a little studying, then return home. Now what am I gonna do?” you huffed as you rifled through the closet hoping to find something capable of cutting firewood. “I can’t leave the temple in this state. The repairs are going to take months though, maybe years since I have to work by myself.”

You found a small hatchet and called it a win before storming back outside to find a small tree you could hack limbs off of. “I can’t even leave this island. I have no boat. I may very well be stranded here for the rest of my life. Never to see any of my friends again or talk to another human being. I’m going to go mad here, aren’t I? I’m already talking to myself so I’m halfway there and it’s only been the first day!”

You took your frustration out on the tree, hacking limbs off with the dull blade of the hatchet. Alright, another new mission, find whetstone to sharpen hatchet. Maybe you could find some paper and start making a list.

You were halfway through cutting off one of the boughs of the tree, sweat trickling down your neck as the sun began to swelter hot in the sky. You gave another swing and the hatchet lodged itself in the wood but when you tried to tug it free it remained wedged. “Oh no! Come on! Don’t do this to me you stupid tree! Give me back my hatchet!” You planted a foot on the tree and tried pulling harder.

“Hard at work I see.” the voice made you jump and you fell backwards, landing hard on your butt.

“Ow…” you winced, squinting against the sun that shone directly into your eyes.

“You don’t have very good balance, do you?” the sun was eclipsed by a head staring down at you. Your eyes went wide as you realized it was Rafayel.

“What--” you gaped up at him. You had not expected to see him again after he delivered you to the temple. “What are you doing here?”

He cocked an eyebrow up at you and mortification set in. “I mean, it is a pleasure and honor to see you again. What brings you here this morning, Your Radiance?”

He smirked and held a hand out for you to help you up. “Came to check on you. It dawned on me that you may not have anything to eat here so I brought some provisions.”

“That is very kind. Thank you so much for thinking of me.” Your body was buzzing standing before him again. He had come to check on you! You had believed that last night was the one and only time you would ever lay eyes on him and yet he was here again. Not only that but he had come with the intention of helping you.

He looked back at the tree and effortlessly pulled the hatchet free of the tree. With another swing he chopped the bough off and it fell to the ground. “I don’t know what you were doing here but I figured you were cutting this down for a reason.”

“Oh yes. Firewood.” you picked up the bough. “Thank you again.”

“Come along, little human.” he gestured you to follow with a single crook of his finger. “Let’s get your tree limb inside and have something to eat.”

You scurried after him, dragging the branch behind you as you returned to the temple. In the kitchen was a chest that was not there before. Rafayel went to it and opened it up, pulling out various jars and packages wrapped in cloth. “Lemurian cuisine.” he said, handing various jars to you. “Should be safe for you to eat. Mostly it is fish and some underwater plant life.” he picked up one jar, “These are great fried.”

“How do you…”

“What?”

“How do you cook underwater?”

“We use fire.”

“But fire cannot exist underwater.”

“Maybe not your normal fire, but the Lemurians have a special type that continues to burn and heat while being completely submerged. Honestly, trying to explain the physics of the Lemurian way of life would be too confusing for your little human brain.”

A flare of indignation sparked in your chest. Sure you were not Lemurian but you had spent your entire life learning about Lemurians and the sea. Even if you could not truly understand you could still do your best to learn.

“What? Why are you making that face?” Rafayel asked.

You schooled your scowl back into a complacent smile. “Nothing. Thank you for the food.” You quickly turned and started putting the food away in the cabinets.

You opened a cabinet just for it to be slammed shut again. Your heart pounded in your ears as you felt Rafayel standing directly behind you, his chest nearly grazing your back. “You’re upset about something.” he said, leaning over to try and get a look at your face. “Was it something I said?”

“No, Your Radiance. Nothing you say could upset me.” you ducked underneath his arm and tried to walk away but he was faster. He caught you by the waist and pulled you back flush to his chest.

“You’re lying.” he said in a crooning voice, “Do you think it wise to lie to your god?”

Shit!

“I didn’t--I mean I wasn’t--I--”

He snorted. “You’re quite cute when you’re flustered. Did you think I was going to do something wicked to you for scowling at me? Were you worried about some divine retribution for such a small non-offense?” He continued to laugh.

“You’re not upset?”

He spun you around to face him directly. “No. You really need to learn to not take things so seriously. I mean, did you really believe I would get upset over something so small? What is it they teach you on land? Have they painted me as some humorless monster back where you’re from?”

“No. Of course not!” you said quickly, “I just mean that I have no place in lying to you or being angry with you. We are only supposed to love you, Your Radiance.”

It was at that statement that his humor began to slip and he regarded you more seriously. “What a terrible curse to be forced only to adore your gods.” Rafayel said. “If I were to decide to drown your entire city filled with everyone you hold dear, kill thousands without any reason or just cause, you are saying that you would still be obligated to love me?”

“I…” you weren’t sure how to respond to that. “I would be devastated but the priests would assure us that this act of wrath was warranted. You must have had a reason. Perhaps we had done something to offend you or--”

You bit your tongue as the blue of his eyes started to glow like they did last night in his god form. “I am no monster. And if your priests are telling you that such an act is something to be expected and that you are to seek repentance from me after then they are not worthy to preach in my name.”

“But what are we supposed to feel then?”

The fire in his eyes was extinguished as he closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. “You feel whatever you damn well please. Be sorrowful. Be angry. Curse my name if it is what you want to do. You do not blindly go on loving me just because you think it is what you are supposed to do. I am not owed your devotion, I am to be worthy of it. Anyone that says otherwise is a damn fool.”

You stood, shocked into silence. Rafayel sighed. “New plan, you are going to tell me everything that you are taught about me and I am going to tell you the actual truth. In fact, we are going to record it so no one else can misinterpret my desires. Keep putting things away, I will be back.”

With that Rafayel strode back out of the temple with purpose in his step.

That…you were not expecting any of that. He was so unlike what you had expected of him. Before you set out on this journey you had imagined the Sea God as this terrifying and powerful deity that heralded storms and controlled the seas. He was to be revered and feared, someone you could not understand nor would you even be allowed to question. But the actual Sea God was kind and he liked to tease you. He was powerful but he preferred being in human form. He demanded you sleep in his rooms, brought you food, and told you that you were allowed--encouraged even--to be angry with him if you felt like it. Now he had gone away with some mission to rewrite his own religion from his own mouth so no one would be manipulated into blindly adoring him.

About an hour or so later Rafayel returned and in his hands he had a leather bound book and ink. You had just finished eating and scrubbing the dishes when he came in and dropped the book on the table with a heavy thud. You were about to ask how he had paper that wasn’t destroyed by the water then remembered the defiance of logic that was Lemurian physics and swallowed back the question.

“Here, now we can get started.” he shoved the book and the writing utensils at you.

“You want me to pen it?”

“Yes. Is that a problem? Can you not write?”

“Of course I can write. I just, I don’t know what I thought. But um, where should we start?” you opened the book. There was a certain vellum glossiness to the paper that was smooth and soft against your fingertips.

You spent the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon writing an amended version of what you had been taught back home. You were glad to hear that not all of what you had learned was a lie but somewhere over the centuries the stories had become twisted into their own beast. The most shocking fact of all was learning that Rafayel was not this timeless god of a thousand years. Apparently, the Sea God was a title passed down through the Lemurians when one was born and chosen by the light to be the new god. Rafayel was latest in this line.

When dusk started to descend and your hand was cramping from writing Rafayel decided that you had worked enough on this new tome. “That should do for today. We’ll continue this tomorrow.” he said.

You blinked up at him. “Tomorrow? You’re coming back?”

“Well yes. I can’t leave this half finished after all.” he tapped the book. “It is sad how skewed your teachings have become in such a short time. A couple hundred years and everyone starts thinking I have an army of giant hermit crabs to destroy false temples? That’s just absurd. Hermit crabs don’t grow very big and trying to get them to do anything is a pain. They’re always so…crabby.”

“Sounds like maybe they just need to come out of their shells and stop being such hermits.” you joked. Rafayel smiled and ruffled your hair again.

“They especially hate it when we make those jokes. I remember I said the exact same thing to this one crab and he sliced me with his pincer.” he held up his little finger. “I still have a scar from it.”

You could just barely make out the thinnest line of a scar on the knuckle of his little finger. “Wow. You must have been very brave by the look of that battle scar.”

His mouth turned down in a pout. “It hurt a lot more than it looks. He damn near took off the entire finger. It’s a miracle I still have it.”

Another sarcastic remark was poised on your tongue but then you remembered you were talking to a god and not one of your friends back home. “I am glad you still have all ten of your fingers, Your Radiance.” you said instead.

Rafayel sighed, leaning against the table. He was still frowning at you.

“Something wrong?” you asked.

“Do you have to keep calling me that?” he groaned, “It’s so stuffy. When we first met you called me by my name but now all it is Your Radiance, Your Radiance, Your Radiance. Don’t you get sick of it?”

Your face heated. “But we’re supposed to--”

“If you say you’re supposed to call me that because it was what you were taught I’m going throw you to a swarm of hermit crabs.” he pinched your cheeks, “We just spent the entire day correcting all the wrong lessons and history you were taught. So you are going to call me by my name and stop with all the honorifics before I go mad.”

“Yesh,” you slurred said as he stretched out your cheeks. “Can you let go now?”

“Aw but you look so cute this way. Like a little grouper fish.” he gave another little stretch to your already sore cheeks.

You pushed his hands off. “That hurts you know.” you rubbed your aching face.

“Now you know what’ll happen if you don’t call me by my name from now on.” he smirked. “Now, before I go, did you want to say your evening prayer while I’m here?”

“Oh um,” you turned away, “I can do it later before I go to bed.”

“What? Are you embarrassed about praying to me directly? I’m going to hear it anyway, why not get it out of the way now?” he leaned in, trying to get a look at your face. “No use being shy, you can’t hide from me.”

“Alright, fine.” you huffed. You hadn’t thought much about it last night considering how tired you were but now he was standing right in front of you, watching you closely with that damn cocky smile.

“Dear--” you had to stop yourself from using the honorifics you were so used to, “Rafayel,” you kept your gaze turned away from him. “I thank you for the food you bestowed upon me and the chance to record the history of the Sea Gods from your own mouth. I pray you will continue to bless and protect me.”

“Your prayer has been heard.” he titled your chin to look back at him. “And I will say I like hearing my name on your tongue far better than Your Radiance. Even after you return home, please continue to use it. Yes?”

“Yes. I will.” your heart beat against your ribcage as if it was trying to break free of its skeletal cage. “Good night, Rafayel.”

He smiled. “Good night, my little human.” He turned and left. The air was still thick with his presence even after he was gone and you struggled to take in a breath.

“And he’s going to be here again tomorrow…” you muttered to yourself. You’d look to the gods for strength but knew he would hear it if you asked. “I don’t think I’m going to leave this island sane.”

[animeyanderelover]

Dear lord above, I at least want to write something today but with the little energy I have I do not want to publish something that was requested and write it with less motivation so just have those quick Hc's.

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, stalking, blackmailing, threats, violence, disrespect, overprotective behavior, abduction, death

Tags: @lovley-valentine7

Fushiguro Toji Hc's

🪱​Toji for me is very interesting to view because he has been pushed to a point beyond return and he himself has embraced this fact already years ago. He just doesn't care about anything anymore. His wife was his only hope but even that has been taken away from him and with her death any chance for him to ever be a decent man has passed away too. For Toji you are no saving grace. How could you be when what he is feeling for you is so much more twisted than what he was feeling for his dead wife? As irresponsible and neglectful of other lovers and even his own child he is, Toji is actually very perceptive of his own emotions as soon as he realises that there is something brooding within him. His wife made him want to change and be a better person for her. That simply isn't the case with you. When Toji looks at you he only feels that primal desire to keep you to himself and to murder anyone who even attempts to get in his way. With no morals he feels like he has to uphold back and with nothing to lose either he willingly walks into the hurricane of his growing obsession. He wants it that way. Because whether he is going to admit it or not, those feelings make him feel alive.

🪱​Unashamed and direct, Toji is everything but subtle to express that he wants you. From the very first day he is suffocatingly possessive of you and aggressive and rude about it. He easily tracks you down via your odor as his experience of being an assassin really are more than just useful and overall just frightful for you. Honestly, he doesn't plan to woo you. He just wants you to be his and he doesn't expect to care about what you think. Initially that is indeed the case. That is until he discovers that underneath all that possessive greed other feelings for you start budding. Tender feelings which remind him of the emotions he had for his previous wife. He does care after all. Subtle changes happen only then but only when it involves you. He still continues his job of assassinating people as long as it earns him his money and he still doesn't give a shit about people overall. He doesn't have the capacity to do that. The only one spared from the blatant disrespect and rudeness he expresses to his surroundings is you. It's all he finds himself capable of. Better for only you, still the same asshole and ruthless murderer to everyone else. That should be more than enough for him.

🪱​Jealousy is not a word that Toji would use to ever describe himself. It isn't a word that you would use to describe him with either. Overly possessive is a description much more fitting for a man like him and it is indeed his raging possessive emotions for you that reign predominantly whenever he catches sight of someone else with you. However, he is no grown manchild who barges in the moment he spots such a sight as long as the interaction has a practical function like you buying something and asking for advice or taking care of other business. What Toji hates though is idle chatter with no bigger meaning behind it all and that is when he always interrupts the conversations and pushes you away. His enhanced senses give him the advantage of being able to tell when there is a case of someone liking you a bit too much and then everything is over. No matter what you do, the other individual always gets hurt and the best thing you manage to do is have Toji tone down his violent response to the point where no bones are broken and only a few large and throbbing bruises serve as a reminder for the next few weeks. It's no surprise that you never see the face of such people ever again.

🪱​Toji has confessed to you what he is doing to earn his money as he doesn't even bother to paint himself as the good guy. This is just who he is and how he does things and it only leads to you fretting from a very early stage on for everyone. He's made it clear to you that he is not going to ever murder you but everyone else is a free game and it is this fear that Toji uses to keep you on a leash if he senses that you have rebellious thoughts. He has absolutely no problems assassinating whoever is a thorn in his eyes but that doesn't mean that he brags about it in front of you. There seems to be some semblance of decency that he relearns as soon as he starts living with you and this is one of them. It's such a casual routine for him that it might even happen that he brutally taunts someone, swiftly ends their pathetic life afterwards and then brings some takeout back home for you and him. Still, if someone from your surroundings suddenly disappears you always know whose doing it is. He never confirms it verbally to you but sometimes his green eyes give you that look that have you quickly shut up. You've learned to know what it means. 'Careful now or someone else will be next.'

🪱​You're already stuck in a relationship with him long before he has abducted you but at that point you already know that this outcome is inevitable. However, despite all the shit you have grown through at that point already you still manage to be mildly flabbergasted when he one day drags you to the place the two of you will live in together from now on. It's a decently sized apartment and whilst the kitchen has already been littered with cups of instant ramen it is much cleaner than you expected. You find out soon after that this place has actually only been recently purchased by him and that's how you find out that he's basically been living in the houses of other woman or hotel rooms before he met you. He's literally telling you that he's been homeless before he decided to live together with you, realising that you shouldn't have to adapt to his previous lifestyle. He doesn't expect you to act like a housewife and keep the apartment clean though. By all means, you can litter too if you want to as he is used to living shitty. You do abide by some basic expectations you have yourself though as you do not want to live like a racoon in a trash can and Toji lets you do as you want.

🪱​After years of not having looked properly out for his own hygiene Toji actually finds himself caring about such aspects again but only because it is very obvious that it bothers you. He's never really minded that he smells like sweat, blood and fast food but you do, especially whenever he gives you a bear hug. He very much forces physical affection on you as he has only ever promised to draw the line at physically harming you. Honestly, you do realise from an early point on that Toji lives in a different world than you do and that you wouldn't be able to escape and run away from him even if you had the opportunity. There's no way for you to escape someone with senses as enhanced as his and immense physical abilities that easily outperform top athletes. So as strange and frightening as it is, you try to adjust to a life with him even if only to protect family and friends who are very much a green light for him to threaten and end if you do something stupid. You're actually allowed to go outside as soon as he knows that you have learned how things work but you aren't allowed to interact more than necessary and if you just want to go outside to have fun he always accompanies you.

[divinecrimson]

-Thinking about reader trying to leave Gojo because they know that they are gojo’s weakness

Warnings: angst, anger, sadness, arguing, mentions of death, romance, love, reader gender not implied.

A/n: I wrote this at 6:37 am lmaoo. I don’t like writing in first or second person but I decided to try it out today and push my comfort zone.

You loved Satoru you truly did, but you knew you’d never be able to date him. There were a number of reasons actually. One being that he was the strongest so people will target him until the day he dies and if you enter the picture you could get him killed accidentally. They’d distract him by endangering you and take the chance they get so no, you couldn’t do that to him. You couldn’t be his downfall.

Yesterday Satoru took you on a date, he made sure to grab flowers, pretty shoes for you and bought you makeup though you told him not to for almost three hours. You felt his love, that was his way of showing it. Though you loved him and he loved you..,.you couldn’t give in. Not when you’d be the reason he gets killed.

“Toru….I’m sorry but this isn’t going to work out…” he smiled as you spoke thinking you were joking until he noticed your unwavering expression. “What do you mean pretty?” You almost cried at his hurt tone and the way his face twisted up in confusion. “We can’t be together..,Satoru.”

At that his anger shot up. Never once had you called him by his full name since he was courting you. It had been a year and now you guys were back to strictly name bases? “What?!? Why not y/n?! Did I do something wrong!!?” His panic rose. To be honest this was the first time you’d seen him angry. Usually when he was mad his breath would hitch and he’d remain in composure but he was breaking.

“I can’t be with you if I can be the reason your taken from me!…your the strongest right? What happens if someone uses me against you?! the only way to prevent that is to not be with you!!?” He stood up holding your face with his bare hands, the way he felt gentle to the touch even though he was upset almost made you fall harder for him.

A true gentleman. “Listen….if that’s how the strongest ends..I’d accept that. You should too love.” He watched you snap into tears. He just wasn’t accepting what you were saying and he thought of you being his downfall hurt. The pressure was too much. “Nothings going to stop me from being a happy man with you. Strongest or not you are my weakness and I don’t care if that leads to anything else because I love you in the past, now and forever.”

[cheezyharu]

Fuck it, Director and Haru, let's go-

Would you go back in time to fix a mistake you've done in the past?

Director: What's done is done, if it never happened I would not be here today, having learned my lesson. So I suppose I shall deny that offer.

Haru: My memory is forever locked behind this curse of mine, so either I have nothing to regret or have forgotten about it. Either way, no.

The world is ugly, what would you do to make things better?

Director: Ugly...? This world has its tragedies, that I cannot deny. But at the same time, for every tragedy, something good happens to balance it. Such is the rule set by the Original One. If you truly think this world is ugly, then I'll- ...I'm sorry.

Haru: I'm prohibited from leaving the orphanage because of my current state. But if I could do something... Then maybe I should enforce the "no human experiments" law, cause some... appear to put it outside their ears.

Do you feel... regret, in a way?

Director: ...

Haru: Like I said, either I don't have anything to regret or I have forgotten of it.

...I must admit, though, that not being able to ███████ ████ ███ ███ ██████... Pains me.

Open tag. Oh also-

Favorite season of the year?

If you could get a superpower, and someone else gets to choose the side effects, what will it be?

What's the most beautiful time of your life?

OC Questionnaire

Thanks for this one, @leahnardo-da-veggie! We'll answer for Paris and Antonio today :D

If you could wish for one thing, what would it be?

Antonio: "Oh, I dunno. All my friends camping out in my huge house and myself cooking them dinner every night." Paris: "...For my mother to be comfortable enough to stop working herself to the bone."

What is your most treasured possession?

Antonio: "Eh. Possessions come and go. I guess my shoulder holster, because it's fitted to me, but I'm sure I could simply find another." Paris: "My violin."

Do you think you could win in a fight against your nemesis?

Antonio: "I have so many enemies...if I've learned anything recently it's that I need a little help. With my friends? Of course, we could." Paris: "My nemesis is cold weather and less work and cracked palms and hungry nights. I lose the battle every day."

Did NOT intend to answer the last one for Paris that way, but he seized ahold of me and wouldn't be silenced. So. Okay, edgelord. 🙄

I'll pass on the tag to @indecentpause @asher-writes @tragicheirs @sleepyowlwrites @writernopal and anyone else who sees this and wants to answer these new questions!

What does tomorrow look like?

Favorite color, and why?

Whom do you love the most?

[frindoka]

it feels so bleak. please don’t disappear. don’t die. don’t blame yourself for feeling how you do right now, i’ve seen my friends, family, strangers online experiencing the despair and loss of hope. it’s not your fault. its hard not to feel anything else. it’s not your fault. do not blame yourself.

stay alive. take care of others. take care of yourself. give yourself something to do. stay somewhere safe, if you need to. find community, find anything, create something. donate, if you have the money. fight if you have the means. keep holding on if you’re unable to participate in things safely, especially if you’re in a place where it’s worse. say i love you to your friends or your family or your partner(s) or yourself and please please please live. my entire life, and now again with the election, i’ve held on to a shred of hope that the future will be better. repeating it to myself every day even if it didn’t feel true. try to go for that shred. if you can’t, it’s okay. don’t blame yourself. i’m sorry. i wish shit wasn’t fucked, i’m sorry .

[slashmagpie]

“Pearl? Why are you in my house?” 

Pearl blinks up at Bdubs from where she’s sandwiched between the wall and the waterstream, curled up on herself in the narrow space. “Somebody destroyed all the lights in my base and now it’s full of mobs,” she says bitterly.

“It wasn’t me!” Bdubs cries, raising his hands.

“Well, I didn’t think it was you, but the way you just said that’s making me think—”

“No! I’d never! I swear!”

“...I believe you,” she says after a moment, and Bdubs feels himself relax. “Can I stay with you tonight? I don’t really feel like…” She gestures in the direction of her house.

Bdubs nods. “Oh, sure, for sure,” he says. Then, “Should we invite Joel over? His house got blown up too.”

“Ah, yeah, probably. Good idea, Bdubs.” She fumbles in her pocket for her communicator, eventually fishing it out. The screen is cracked. Her fingers shake as they tap against the glass. 

“Are you okay there, Pearl? You look a little…” Bdubs forces his hands to tremble. 

She glances up at him, face scrunching in confusion, before she lets out a small laugh. “Just the adrenaline, y’know.” She grins. “I’m red. It’s great.” 

“If it was anyone else, I’d think they were being sarcastic. But with you! With you, I’m pretty sure you’re being serious!”

She giggles, hitting send on the message and shoving her communicator away. Bdubs doesn’t feel his own buzz; it must have been a whisper. “You know,” she says after a moment, “I’m a little surprised.”

Bdubs blinks. “Surprised about what?”

“That there’s still three of us.” 

He laughs. “Yeah, I’m a little surprised, too! I thought for sure Joel would die today. For sure.”

“Don’t let him hear you say that.”

“Oh, no, never. But between you and me… that guy’s kind of a loose canon!” 

She snorts. “Throwing stones from glass houses, there, Bdubs?”

“Surely I don’t know what you mean.”

“Mhm.” She pauses, eyes glancing down to where her fingers pick at a stray thread on her hoodie sleeve. “That’s kinda what I mean, though. Joel doesn’t live here, and you’re making friends with half the server, I’m surprised I’m not spending tonight alone.”

“Pearl…”

“What?” She snorts. “I know how these games go, Bdubs. People don’t stay loyal. Not for long, anyway.” She glances up at him, eyes half obscured by her hair. “People like Joel, people like you? I know how this ends.”

And Bdubs—

Well, he can’t pretend he doesn’t know what she means. Can’t pretend he doesn’t remember Impulse yelling as Bdubs’ arrow had found home in his throat. Can’t pretend he doesn’t remember Etho backing away when Bdubs had tried to get just a little too close. Can’t pretend he didn’t fight when he promised he’d run. Can’t pretend he hadn’t taken advantage of his broken home. 

…He can’t pretend he doesn’t remember telling Martyn about their plans, or planning to do harm to Etho. Can’t pretend he doesn’t cross his fingers behind his back every time he makes a promise, just in case.

But at the same time, he remembers—searching for Cleo in a castle she’d been too dead to return to, pushing Lizzie to her death for a life he’d never received, taking two hands in his own and vowing to face the end as four instead of two, for once, for once in his life, choosing three and being pulled apart because of it—

Bdubs lets out a breath. “Pearl, hey, no,” he says. “I told you, didn’t I? I’m your weapon.” He gets down to his knees, lowers his head before her, feels her gaze burn into the top of his head.

“Bit late for that,” she says. “I’m my own weapon now, mate. Don’t need you to attack for me anymore.”

“Well, no—but—” He looks up at her. “Pearl. I’m yours. I promise.”

“Right. And you’re Martyn and Etho’s too, huh? We can share.”

“I’m using Martyn!” he protests. “That’s—that’s all it is—I’m usin’ him because he’s the first red and he knows his stuff! And Etho—”

“I don’t mind about Etho,” Pearl interrupts. “Like I said, I know you guys have your little thing going on. I don’t care about that.”

“I set a trap in his base,” Bdubs blurts.

Pearl blinks at him. “Excuse me?”

“I set a trap in his base. Tripwire hook.” He grins. “Right outside the bedroom. I—I think I got Grian, in the end? But—could have been Etho. I coulda—could’ve been Etho.” He swallows.

“And you’d have been okay with that?” Pearl asks, smile gone from her face, expression suddenly very serious.

“I—after I set it, I went up to them. Had a chat. Lied the whole time. I coulda—coulda told him. I didn’t.” 

“And you’re okay with that?” she stresses.

She sounds dubious. Bdubs can’t blame her. He feels sick, swallowing back the bile that’s building in his throat.

“I—Pearl.”

“Bdubs?”

“I learned my lesson, Pearl. I learned—don’t put all your eggs in one basket! Because—because either they die, and then you get left alone, or—or it gets you killed, and you die. You gotta—I have two hands. I can be loyal to multiple people. But then I learned—when you do that? People aren’t loyal back. They don’t trust you anymore. Nobody else…” He laughs. “I feel like I’m the only one who can trust people like that anymore!”

“So…” She frowns. “So you’re making friends with everyone so you don’t get betrayed or left alone?”

“Exactly.” 

“And you know none of us are gonna trust you for doing that.”

He swallows again. “Yeah, I know.”

“And you’re doing it anyway?”

“Well, what else—what else am I supposed to do? I can’t… I can’t go back, Pearl. That’s… I can’t go back. You know how it is.”

“…Yeah,” she says quietly. “I’m—I want you to win, Bdubs,” she says. “Out of everyone—I want it to be you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. So… You better not make me regret this.”

He blinks at her. “Regret what?”

She bows her head to him. “I’m your weapon,” she says, an echo of his earlier words. “And a bit more of a dangerous one at that.” Her smirk leaks back into her words as she glances up and winks at him. “So use me well, alright, Bdubs? I want you to win this.”

Bdubs’ heart is in his throat. He swallows it back down. It burns.

“I’ll do my best,” he promises. 

The door slams open, startling them both out of their skin.

“Hey guys—uh. What are you doing?”

“Oh, for—Judas Priest, Joel, learn to knock!”

“You invited me over! Or, Pearl did—hey Pearl.”

“Hey,” Pearl says. “Come on in! Sleepover at Bdubs’ time.”

“I can’t believe this is the last of our bases left standing. It’s, like, the worst one.”

“Hey!” 

“There’s no space in here!” To punctuate his statement, Joel slumps down against one wall, kicking Bdubs in the ribs as he does so. Bdubs grunts. “See?”

“It’s definitely not the most spacious…” Pearl acquiesces.

“Anyway. What were you guys doing before I came in?”

“Swearing loyalty,” Bdubs says. 

“Oh.” Joel blinks. “Do you need me to do that? Because I’m a Mounder for life. Loyal to the end.”

Bdubs and Pearl glance at each other.

“Somehow I actually believe him,” Bdubs stage-whispers, and Joel squawks in offence as Pearl barks out a laugh.

“No, I think you’re good,” she says. Leaning her head back against the wall, she says, “This is probably our final night.”

The three of them are quiet for a moment.

“Well,” says Joel. “We gotta make it to the end then, don’t we?”

He’s looking at Bdubs. They’re both looking at Bdubs. 

Bdubs nods.

“May the best Mounder win,” he says solemnly.

Joel grins.

[kirby-the-gorb]

[hana-bobo-finch]

Shoutout to this draft I made a couple hours ago when I suddenly had an epiphany for how I could fix a part of my story and I was so excited that the only way I could express it is to write whatever this is but I couldn’t post it because I didn’t have internet

also it got marked as mature for some reason

[ur-ghostgirl]

can someone yell at me to get out of bed pls

[literateowl]

We get them back tomorrow!!!!!

I can hardly believe it 🥹 who else is freaking out?

[rabbitmotifs]

well if imagining gambit sitting next to you and talking you out of a nervous breakdown is helping, then who am i to judge