#I will definitely post some process images soon because this file is so big. this is 1918x3571 and it's a crop lmao

[twosides--samecoin]

long time running x @yeehawgust day 23: rocky mountain high

He was born in the summer of his 27th year Comin' home to a place he'd never been before He left yesterday behind him, you might say he was born again You might say he found a key for every door When he first came to the mountains, his life was far away On the road and hangin' by a song But the string's already broken and he doesn't really care It keeps changin' fast and it don't last for long But the Colorado Alberta Rocky Mountain high I've seen it rainin' fire in the sky

[buckys-black-dress]

a fine line, part two

a/n: here she is, our promised part two of afl!!! honestly i love writing this series and it has almost all my fav things in one fic, so yup. anyways, again, thank you for reading/sharing/liking my work !! luv u all, x -ali

wc: 5.8k !!!

-

The tension in the room was palpable.

And although no one knew you two were working together by verbal confirmation, it was clear from the way you were both reacting.

Bucky was rarely this quiet, so it was obvious what was going on.

Also the fact that you seemed frozen in place.

“Y/N? Everything okay?” Wanda’s soft voice filtered in next to you.

You nodded, trying to break away from James’ gaze.

“Mhm, who’re you working with?” You ask, moving away from the topic at hand.

“Oh, you know Professor Vision? He teaches Comp Sci.” Wanda is now visibly blushing, making you curious.

“Ooh, does Wanda have a crush?” Natasha chimes in as she sidles up next to you two. “I got Banner. How about you, Y/N?”

“I uhh, I got... Barnes.” You mumble under your breath.

“Who? I didn’t catch what you said there.” Natasha’s eyebrows furrowed.

“I... I got Dr. Barnes.” You said, not even daring to look up at your friends.

“...Oh. Well, that should be... interesting...” Wanda comments.

“...Yeah. It’ll probably be fine!” Natasha tries to comfort you, but there’s a stirring feeling in your stomach that almost makes you feel sick.

“He said there was no way to change it... right?” You ask feebly, trying to hold out hope.

“No... and I wouldn’t want to go head to head with Fury.” Wanda frowns.

“Great.” You conclude, taking a deep breath. “You know what, I can do this. It’s fine, I’ll be fine.” You tell the girls, gathering your things and filing out of the office as people began to leave.

Wanda and Natasha were left watching your retreating form, staring at each other.

“I’ll be surprised if they make it to the end of next week.” Natasha says, earning a shove in her arm from Wanda.

Bucky watched you leave the office, and the gears were most definitely turning in his head.

-

You spent the rest of the week keeping mostly to yourself, trying to mentally prepare for what you’d have to face next week.

In the email sent out by Fury, he explained that you and your partner should have a lesson outlined prior to Monday so you could get right into teaching. He also explained that you would have to share all of your classes, and somehow correlate the two subjects that each professor taught.

English and History, seems easy, right?

Wrong.

Every idea you’ve emailed James has been shot down, and your patience was wearing thin. You didn’t like being unprepared, and the week would be coming to a close soon.

So naturally, you did what anyone else would do, and knocked on James’ office door until he answered.

“I’m comin’ jeez, would ya hold on?” You hear his voice, muffled by the door, until he swings it open, coming face to face with you. “What do you need, Y/L/N?”

“Oh, lovely to see you too, Dr. Barnes. I just wanted to know if you were actually interested in making our lesson plan. If we’re going to be spending the next few weeks together, we might as well have a plan. And I thought your input might be better, since you’re clearly not a fan of what I’ve shown you so far.” You rambled, moving to stand in the middle of his office, laptop in hand.

“You know, maybe if you sent anything good, I would’ve worked with ya on it. But I just don’t think your style of teaching fits me. It’s too... too intimate. You’re too far up your students’ asses. You get too close, too personal with them.” James explains to you.

You can only scoff at this.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, James, but my students and I have great relationships. If my students don’t like me, or what I teach, they’ll be more inclined to hand in subpar work. But if I make my expectations clear from the start, they’ll know what they have to do to earn an A in my class. That’s why my first two semesters here have been averaging with A’s all across the board.” You explain as simply as you can, because you felt like James was ridiculing you and the way you teach. You worked hard to get where you are today, and you know that’s why your students love coming to class.

Bucky stared at you for a few seconds, trying to process the information you dropped on him.

“So... your students... like you?” He asks, tentatively, almost.

“...Yes? I know you don’t like me, so it might hard to believe that others do, but I don’t think I’m that unappealing.” You scoff, looking at the floor to avoid Bucky’s eyes. “Anyways, do you have any ideas?”

Bucky’s chest tightened with guilt. After the incident at the bar, he was trying to not be as rude to you. He was trying to be more humane, in Steve’s words.

“I... Maybe we can take a look at some of the stuff you sent before. Maybe if you explain it to me face-to-face I’ll understand it better.” Bucky says, and you nod. “Take a seat, we’re gonna be here a while.”

As a few hours passed, you and James actually started a pretty solid outline for lessons. You started working on your first lesson, which would be the origins of literature. You could both talk about it, and you could both bring different aspects to the table.

“On average, how many kids do you have in your classes, Y/N?” James asks you, and your head snaps up at the mention of your first name. You had a moment where you imagine him calling you that way more often, making your throat run dry.

“Uhm,” you cleared your throat, “my biggest class is about thirty students, maximum.” You tell him.

“Really? My smallest is forty...” He tells you, scratching his chin. “Also very male dominated, I’ve noticed.”

You freeze, trying to process this. It’s only ten more kids... you’ll be fine, right?

“You alright, there, Y/L/N?” James chuckles, to which you let out a weak one. You weren’t used to large crowds, they made you anxious, nervous, like you were losing your footing.

“I-I’m fine. Yeah, all good, let’s get back to work.” You tell him, focusing back on your lesson plan.

“It’s uh, getting a bit late. Thinking we should head home soon.” James looks at you a bit longer, trying to gauge your mood.

“Uh- oh, what time is it?” You ask, squinting and cursing yourself for leaving your glasses in your office.

“It’s almost 7:30...” He tells you.

“Oh, I have to go! Lucy, she’s been all alone, I have to feed her!” In a panic, you begin gathering your belongings.

“Lu- Who’s Lucy?” James asks in clear confusion at your sudden panic.

“My cat! Oh, poor baby, she’s probably wondering where I’ve been...” You trail off, making sure you’ve gathered everything you need.

“W-wait, can I get your number?” James asks, and you both freeze.

“M-my number?” You ask, not bothering to hide your shock.

“Well, we’re gonna need to discuss the lesson plan somehow...” He tells you.

“Oh... well, here...” You pull off a post-it note from the pad on his desk and quickly scribble down your number, handing it to him. “I’m not usually on my phone too much, so if I don’t answer within a few hours, try shooting me an email.” You explain, making your way out the door.

“Have a good night, James.” He hears you say quietly before you turn away from the doorframe, and he hears the resonating shutting of your office door not even five minutes later.

Bucky sits in his chair, not having moved an inch from when you left. He stares at the blue post-it with your number scribbled on it.

He picked it up, inspecting it further.

Your handwriting was neat, but flourishing and borderline cursive because of how quickly you wrote.

Bucky pulls out his phone and inputs the number, saving your contact.

Y/N Y/L/N

He then types out a message:

Just wanted to text you so I wouldn’t lose your number. Hope Lucy is okay.

And he hits send, deciding to pack up his things, trying to understand why he chose to include your cat in his message.

And on your end when you check your phone after parking in your apartment building’s parking, you see a message from an unknown number. You choose to not answer until you’ve made it into your apartment and feed Lucy.

You open your messages, staring at it. Something in your chest fluttered, but you pass it off as your hunger, waiting for your dinner to warm up in the oven.

Hi James. Lucy is fine, thanks for worrying. Have a good night.

You send it off, saving his contact but choosing to not look at your phone until after you’ve finished everything that you needed to do.

After finishing some grading, doing the dishes, and adding to the lesson plan, you decide to settle into bed with a book. You check your phone while brushing your teeth.

James Barnes: Good to hear. Do you think we could work on the lesson plan over lunch tomorrow? Just so we can get ahead of the game.

Y/N Y/L/N: Sounds good. Are we still going to also meet up after classes?

It takes a few minutes before your phone dings again.

James Barnes: Yep. Do you want to just come by my place after? Kind of getting stir-crazy in my office. We could also order food.

You stare at your phone. Are you going crazy? Why is he being so... kind?

Before you could even respond, another ping pulls you back out of your thoughts.

James Barnes: You could also bring Lucy with you, if you don’t want to leave her alone at home for too long.

Okay, now you were sure you were going insane. He was being way too nice. Where was this attitude a year ago, when you’d first met him?

But then again, it wouldn’t hurt, right? You were trying to get out of your comfort zone...

Y/N Y/L/N: Sure, that’s good. Are you sure it would be okay if I brought Lucy? I wouldn’t want to impose on your personal space.

His reply was almost instant.

James Barnes: No, I don’t mind at all. Alpine would love the company.

Before you could even wonder who Alpine was, you remember your previous conversation with Steve once.

‘Bucky also has a cat...’

Y/N Y/L/N: Okay, then I’ll be there. You also have a cat?

James Barnes: Oh, yeah. He’s the sweetest. *1 Attachment.*

Opening the image, you see a fluffy, stark white cat. He had big eyes that anyone would swoon over. You look at the foot of your bed where Lucy is curled up into a ball, fast asleep. You carefully snap a picture, smiling at her.

Y/N Y/L/N: I’ll admit, he’s cute. But can he compete with her? *1 Attachment*

You smile, seeing the typing bubble, waiting for him to respond.

James Barnes: Doll, no one can compete with Al. But I can’t deny, Lucy’s a gem.

Reading over the message at least seven times, your eyes keep lingering over the first word. Doll. It was in a loop in your head, the only thought you were having was that one word.

Why did he call me that? Is he flirting with me? No... he doesn’t even like me! But then why would he be talking to me right now? And why would he send me a picture of his cat...

And now your hands were working faster than your brain, typing out a quick response with your stomach doing backflips.

Y/N Y/L/N: Alright, whatever you say, Bucky. I’m heading to bed, good night.

And you don’t wait for a response before shutting off your phone and plugging it in, putting it on do not disturb and abandoning it on your nightstand, flipping open your book. You were trying to clear your thoughts but miserably failing.

Unbeknownst to you, Bucky responded with a wide smile at the sight of you using his nickname.

James Barnes: Sweet dreams, Y/N.

That night, Bucky fell asleep with Alpine on the pillow next to him, but a wide smile on his face and his stomach full of butterflies.

Little did he know, so were you.

-

The next day, you woke up feeling like a brand new woman. You got a decent amount of sleep. You got out of bed and made coffee before you left the house. You arrived to school way earlier than usual.

To be honest, you didn’t know what was going on.

James was being nice. To you. Why the sudden change of heart? Or maybe he was going back to acting like an asshole when he sees you in person. You didn’t really know what to expect.

Honestly, what you expected the least was for a knock to be heard on your door, 15 minutes before your first class of the day.

“Come in!” You say, expecting a student or maybe Natasha or Wanda.

But the door swings open, and there’s James. He’s standing there with two paper bags, undoubtedly from the bakery down the street.

“Hi.” He says. Not offering anything. No explanation, no emotion. No indication of our conversation last night.

“Hi. Did you need something?” You ask, and for once, it wasn’t in a dismissive or cold tone.

“Uh, no. Just wondering if you’ve eaten anything yet today?” James asks, holding up the bags in his hand.

“Uhm... no...” You tell him, not understanding why he was asking.

“Oh, well I have an extra croissant, if you’d like.” He holds up the bags once again.

“Sure, you can sit in here to eat if you’d like...” You offer, not sure of the water you were treading in.

“Oh, thanks.” He sits down and you both pull out the pastries and start eating. “So, how’s Lucy today?” James asks, a slight smirk on his face. You honestly couldn’t tell if he was making fun of you or not.

“Uh, she-she’s good. Clingy as usual. How’s Alpine?” You return the question.

“Same for him, also clings to me like a koala when I leave, I always feel bad, but I don’t really have a choice.” You both giggle at the remark, nodding in agreement.

“I understand. Lucy’s still a kitten too, so she’s been getting attached a lot. But I think I need her just as bad as she needs me.” You tell him, and you don’t know why.

“Oh... no boyfriend?” James asks, and now you really can’t tell if he’s pulling your leg.

“Oh-” You giggle, covering your mouth. “That’s funny. No, no boyfriend.” You continue to laugh until you fall back into silence, and James is just watching you.

“What’s so funny?” He asks, genuinely perplexed at your reaction.

“James, I don’t think either of us are idiots. I don’t think I come off as girlfriend material to most guys.” You laugh again.

It became quiet, and you look back to your computer, ready to end this awkward conversation. You knew you had your insecurities, but it had always been hard for you to put yourself out there. Especially for guys. Your anxiety and introverted nature really put a pause on your already non-existent dating life.

Besides, you’ve always been alone. And you didn’t think that would be changing any time soon.

“Okay, well I’m gonna head out. I have a class to prepare for. See you tonight?” James asks, getting up from his seat across from you.

“Y-Yeah, I’ll see you then. Could you text me your address and what time I should be there?” You ask, also gathering your lecture notes and laptop.

“Sure thing, Y/N. Bye.” He waves, leaving. As soon as he steps out, you hear the clicking of heels against the laminate flooring.

“Why was Bucky in here?” Natasha’s gravelly voice asks, looking confused as ever.

“He just brought me a croissant, we were talking about our lesson plan for next week.” You explain to her. “Walk with me to my lecture?” You ask, pointing out the door.

“Sure,” she agrees, waiting for you to lock the door, “so, have things been... civil between you two?” Natasha asks tentatively.

“Actually, yes. He’s not all that bad. I’m going to his place after classes to work on the lesson plan, he asked me yesterday to even bring Lucy over so she could meet Alpine.” You tell her.

“Oh- wow, really? He’s being so... nice to you...” She responds.

“I-I know... I don’t understand why... He made it clear he doesn’t really enjoy my company.” You respond.

“Yeah... Well, this is new. I hope he keeps up with it.” She pats you on the shoulder as you reach the lecture hall.

“Yeah, me too.” You say, turning to her before going in.

“Hey, can I stop by your office for something at lunch?”

“Sure, see you then!” You tell her, setting up for your class.

-

Lunch time comes around, and Natasha was already waiting for you when you finished your class by lunchtime. You remembered James also asking to come by to eat with you and work, so you tried to make it quick with Natasha.

“So, you and Bruce already finished your lesson plans?” You ask, looking for a booklet she needed.

“Yeah, he’s fun to work with. Kinda a nerd, but he knows his shit.” She says, smiling and leaning against your desk. “Any reason you’re in a rush?” She asks, catching you off guard.

“Oh, uh, James is coming to eat here so we can get ahead on the lesson.” You tell her, looking back through your drawer.

“That’s... interesting.” Natasha’s brows were drawn together. “You two seem to have a lot of time allotted together.”

“Well, we have only a little of our lessons done, and we really don’t want to show up unprepared. You know how much I hate that.” You tell her, finally finding what she needed.

Outside your office, James was just about to walk in when he heard your voices.

“Yeah... Just wondering, did he ever... apologize for what he said that one night?” Nat asks.

“Uhm, n-no. He’s been really kind to be as of late, so I’m assuming we’re turning a new leaf... But he makes me... nervous sometimes. Just a few days ago, he wouldn’t even look at my lesson plan ideas. He looked like he would rather violently bash his skull in than work with me. I’m just- I’m confused. What made him change his mind?” You think out loud, really wondering if James’ behavior was genuine.

“Y/N, I know you’ve been through a lot, but I think you should give him a chance. Don’t be so weary. If he’s being nice, don’t question it. I don’t know why he was like that with you from the beginning, but you shouldn’t have to beat yourself up over the fact that he’s actually treating you with respect.” Natasha puts her hand over yours, meeting your gaze.

“Y-Yeah. I know. I know I deserve respect, but it’s been hard lately. Ever since my family stopped talking to me, I feel like a failure. They don’t understand that I deserve that respect either. They think teaching is a shit job, they think I won’t get anywhere in life with it. I’m just sick and tired of them acting like I didn’t work hard to get where I am today.”

I talked to my brother the other day, and he said the same thing they’ve been saying since I started my PhD. ‘You’re not gonna get anywhere with this, you should get a boyfriend, we want grandkids.’ Like, okay! I get it! But where the hell am I supposed to find a guy when the cute one doesn’t even like me!? And my last boyfriend was in my undergrad. I feel a like teenager. I have literally no romantic life.” You huff out, absolutely tired of this.

“I- Y/N, I’m so sorry. You deserve a family that’s supportive of you and your passions. I hope Wanda and Carol and I have maybe helped you, kind of like a work family, y’know?” She holds your hand tighter. “We’ll always be here for you.”

You smile, walking around your desk to hug her.

“Thank you, Nat. I appreciate you all so much. I don’t think you’ll ever really know.” You hug her tightly before letting go. “James should be here any minute now, but we’ll talk more after class?”

“You betcha, but don’t think I forgot what you said... Maybe he does like you.” She says, and your face turns beet red.

“Natasha, no. I think he’s made it very clear he’s not into me. Like, at all. I’m surprised we’re even working together. I didn’t think he would cooperate.” You laugh. “Okay, seriously, you gotta go. I don’t want him to walk in on us talking about him.”

“Okay, okay, talk later. Bye, Y/N.” She says, making her way out, and Bucky pushes himself against the wall, hoping she wouldn’t see him.

“Don’t forget what we talked about, yeah?” She says to him, not even looking back. Natasha only stops when she doesn’t hear his response, turning around. “Listen to me, Bucky. We may be friends, but so are Y/N and I. I don’t know if it was me or Steve who finally knocked some sense into the dumb head of yours, but if she comes to me again, crying, telling me she can’t take it from you anymore, I promise; you’ll be off this faculty faster than you can say ‘tenure.’ Now, am I understood, Barnes?” Natasha concludes, completely in Bucky’s personal space.

“I- yes. I understand.” He gulps, looking down at his hands. “I-I’ve been trying. To be nice to her. I know what I did before was wrong, but I’m trying, okay? Steve and I had a... a long talk.”

“Yeah, whatever. This better not just be a one-time-thing. From here on out, I want no complaints from her. She’s been through enough shit, and she doesn’t need any more from you. I have somewhere to be, and so do you.” Natasha says, parting ways and letting Bucky release a breath he didn’t know he was holding in.

He composes himself one last time, and walks into your office.

“Hi, James.” You give him a soft smile, “Take a seat, we’ve got work to do.”

-

When your last lecture finished, you made your way home to get what you needed to head to James’ apartment. He’d texted you the address and told you you could come by any time after 6:30.

You were thinking back on your lunch break with him. He was quiet, almost nervous to be sitting in front of you, and you couldn’t understand for the life of you why.

It was uncharacteristic of him to be so demure, and you wonder why he was suddenly so shy. Before, he wouldn’t have hesitated to make a remark, or take a jab at you. But now, he was quiet as a mouse.

It was concerning, to say the least.

So, on your way to his apartment, which was a solid 15 minutes drive, you call Natasha for advice.

“Hey. Can I talk to you about something?” You ask while you drive.

“Yeah, everything alright?” Natasha’s voice filters through your car’s speakers.

“Oh, I’m fine, but did something happen with James? He was acting so... odd today... He was so quiet, so nice. His behavior has been so different lately.” Your brows were furrowed, genuinely trying to crack this puzzle.

“Uh... well, isn’t it a good thing?” She asks.

“I mean, yes, but did someone say something to him?” You ask, puzzled.

“Uh, no...” lie, “maybe he’s just turning over a new leaf, Y/N. I think you should stop worrying yourself over it so much. And if you really want answers, just confront him about it.” Natasha concludes.

“...Okay. You’re right. I think I’m just reading too much into this. I need to go, I’m almost there. Thanks, Nat.” You tell her.

“Bye, Y/N. Good luck.” And the line goes dead.

“Looks like it’s just me and you now, Luce.” You look over at her carrier in the seat next to yours, where she’s curled up into a ball inside.

-

Once you park and text James to let him know you’re on your way up, you sling your laptop bag over your shoulder and grab Lucy’s carrier.

As you make your way inside, you stop at the concierge desk, where an older man with grey hair and glasses greets you. His name tag reads Stan.

“Hi, I’m here to see James Barnes?” You tell him, looking at the grandiosity of the lobby.

“Ah, yes, Ms. Y/L/N?” He asks, and you nod. “He said he was expecting you. Not that I don’t trust you, but I just need a form of ID before I can let you up.” You nod again, handing over you driver’s license.

He hands it back, giving an approving nod.

“Elevators are to the right, he’s in 12B.” Stan tells him, and you give him appreciative ‘thank you’ before you scurry to the elevator.

When you knock on his door, it takes a second for him to open it, a faint ‘Al, one second!’ resonating through the door, making you snort out a laugh.

“Hey, sorry about that. Come in,” Bucky finally appears, swinging his door wide open.

You walk in, setting down Lucy and taking your shoes off.

“So, is Alpine friendly with other cats?” You ask, weary of unzipping the carrier.

“Of course he is. Why wouldn’t he be?” He asks, but stops when he sees your expression fall.

“S-Sorry, I wasn’t trying to imply anything, It’s just- Lucy’s a bit shy, but she typically likes other cats.” You say, looking down at her.

“I-I’m sorry- that was rude. I wasn’t trying to sound like an ass, I swear. Alpine’s friendly with other cats, but he needs a little time to warm up to other people. Don’t take it personally if he isn’t too fond of you at first.” He laughs, directing you to his couch where Alpine was perched.

“Oh, hi baby!” You coo, holding out your hand to Alpine. He tentatively inspects you with his eyes, first, and then sniffs you. He then, his head buts against your hand, asking for affection.

Bucky’s eyebrows shoot up, shocked at how friendly Alpine was being. He barely even looked at Steve and Sam when they come by. But here he was, purring and shoving himself against you.

“Well, I think Lucy won’t have a problem with him at all.” You smile, bringing the carrier over to the end of the couch and unzipping it, letting Lucy move at her own pace.

At first, she just wearily looks at Alpine and the unfamiliar setting. She then looks at you, where you encouragingly coo at her, making sure she was comfortable.

Bucky gazes at the whole scene with a soft look, watching as Lucy slowly saunters out of the carrier, sniffing Alpine and the couch. Soon enough, Alpine sniffs back, and they start playing with each other, forgetting their owners completely.

You both laugh at how well they were getting along, and the contrast between the black and white furs making it that much better.

“Well, should we get started?” You ask, finally turning to Bucky with a big smile.

In that moment, his throat goes dry, and all he can think is... She has a beautiful smile.

“James? Everything alright?” You ask, breaking him out of his trance.

“I- Yes! Sorry, got distracted for a minute... Would you prefer Italian or Chinese for dinner?” He asks, shaking his head and trying to change the subject.

“Uhm, I don’t mind, whatever you’d like.” You smile, grabbing your laptop.

“So... Italian, then?” He asks with a light laugh.

“Sure.” You answer. “Where can we sit to work?”

“Oh, the table’s fine, we can eat while we work, too. Let me go order really quick.” He excuses himself after pointing to his dining table, and heading into the kitchen.

When Bucky reaches the kitchen, he takes a second to compose himself. He pinches in between his brows, his eyes squeezed shut. He didn’t know why he was acting like a teenager, he felt himself get flustered around you.

After he pulls himself together, he orders the food and comes back outside, finding you focused on something extremely intently on your screen.

“James, what do you think for something like this for a more interactive activity?” You ask, turning your computer to him, waiting for him to read the plan, biting your lip nervously.

“This- this is awesome, doll. This looks really good, the students would love this.” He tells you, reading over it one more time.

“O-Oh, thanks.” You thank him shyly, stomach fluttering while looking down at your lap again.

Suddenly, the doorbell rings, breaking the silence.

“Oh, the food-” James moves to grab his wallet, but you grab his wrist, stopping him.

“James, you’ve already been so hospitable, let me get it-” You say, but he shakes off your hand and shakes his head.

“No, I can’t let you do that, I insist,” he responds, beating you to the door and handing the delivery man his card, letting him ring it up quickly.

You huff, sitting back down in your spot with a pout.

“James, you suck,” you huff, visibly annoyed. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Well, I did. Now, let’s eat. You good with red wine?” He asks, pulling out two wine glasses.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” You say, unpacking the food as he pours some wine.

As he sets down some plates, he sees your expression still pouty, like a child.

“Y/N, stop pouting.” You look so cute. “You can get it next time.” I wish I could kiss you.

“Oh, there’s gonna be a next time?” You ask, your face turning red yet again.

“I mean, we’re going to have to make more lesson plans, depending on how long Fury keeps this up.” He laughs, but you freeze at his words.

It’s true, you think to yourself, we’re probably going back to how it was before when this is all over. That’s probably why he’s being nice to me.

“Hey, you alright? Did I say something?” James asks, a concerned look on his face.

“N-No, you’re good. Sorry. Ready to eat?” You ask, changing the subject.

“Yeah... You sure everything’s okay?” He asks again, trying to make sure.

“James, everything is okay, please. Let’s just eat.” You smile, placing a hand over his in reassurement.

-

Dinner was delicious, and now you and James were sipping on wine while working, occasionally checking on Lucy and Alpine.

“Hey, do you think a group project could work? I usually give some to my students, I have a template I follow, but you could change it to your liking-” James tells you, but you cut him off with your thoughts.

“James, can I ask you a question?” You ask, hovering a hand over his.

“S-Sure. What’s up?” He sounds weary.

“You know, before we started this project, you like... loathed me.” You say. “Why?” Your voice breaks at that last word, barely getting it out of your throat.

“I... I just-” He takes a deep breath and looks down, grabbing your hand, “I thought you were... snobby, stuck up. I thought you came to this school thinking you were better than everyone else, that you were here to one-up us all.”

And before you could cut him to deny it with your shaking head, he continues.

“And I know now that I was wrong. I-I’m so sorry for the way I spoke to you, especially at the bar. After you left and Steve took me home, he basically yelled at me and told me how what I thought of you was completely off. I shouldn’t have assumed all those things about you, and I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me, one day.” He concludes, holding onto your hand so tightly to convey just how sorry he was.

“I- Oh, James. Y-You know, I never meant to come off that way. I just- I’ve always had trouble making friends and talking to people, and things have been hard recently. I never meant to make you o-or anyone else, for that matter, to feel that way. I’m so sorry.” You say, tears prickling behind your eyes.

“Y/N, doll.” James moves out of his seat, wrapping you in his arms. “I can’t even tell you how much I wish I was more open-minded, more patient. Ever since Steve and Nat have talked to me, I’ve been just-”

“Nat? What has Natasha told you?” You stop him, pulling away.

“She- she just told me to stop. She told me you’ve been going through a lot, and that I wasn’t making it any better for you so-”

“Did she say what? Why would she tell you about my personal life-” You begin to ramble and waving your hands around.

“Doll, no she didn’t-”

“She had no right to say-”

But before you could continue, Bucky cuts you off.

With his lips.

Against yours.

Bucky was kissing you.

Oh my god, he’s kissing me!

You pull away looking at him in utter shock.

“Wh- What did you do that for?”

“I just- You were rambling, but I didn’t know how else to stop you.” James says, a blush creeping up his neck.

“So you kissed me?” You ask incredulously.

“Uh- yes?” He says, more like asks.

“I uh... I have to go.” You say, looking anywhere but his eyes as you gather your items, hunting down Lucy and putting her in her carrier; much to her protest and distaste.

“Y-Y/N, please, don’t go. Let’s just talk!” James pleads, but you’re not listening.

“N-No, I’m sorry, I have to go. I’ll see you in class next week. Bye, James.” You huff out, running to the nearest stairwell.

A part of you wanted him to run after you, but you needed time to process... whatever that was.

Did he kiss you because he liked you? Or because he wanted to shut you up?

You cut the drive home into half, the first thing you do after getting through your door is calling Natasha.

“Nat, I fucked up...” Your voice was weak through the phone.

And back in Bucky’s apartment, he dialed Steve’s number.

“Steve, I fucked up... real bad.” He meekly provides, his head in his hands.

-

a/n: oh boy. what’s gonna happen ??? hmmm... let me know down below! hope you guys enjoyed ;)

also, did y’all peep my stan lee cameo? :)

[jingabitch]

I Love Recycling

SUMMARY: wherein water is a scarce and precious resource and you are given to Jennie as her recycler.

RATING: Explicit

PAIRINGS: Jennie x reader; side Rosé x reader

WARNINGS: smut | watersports | future au | dystopian au | idol au | kai-bashing (sorry) | inherent power imbalance | some D/s dynamics

WORD COUNT: 21.6k

A/N: !!! i was honestly scared to post this and I’m still kind of nervous so I hope you guys will be kind 🥺🥺 if i get hate on this i’ll probably delete my blog altogether lmao. this is for the handful of followers who wanted blackpink watersports.

Year 2086

Most mornings, Jennie didn’t really enjoy waking up, and would sleep past noon if she didn’t have any morning appointments. Even when she did, she often snoozed her alarm until she couldn’t anymore before getting ready.

Today, however, Jennie woke up before eight in the morning, excitement making it difficult for her to go back to sleep. Instead, she came out of her bedroom to the common area of the dorm, much to the surprise of her group members.

“Unnie, what are you doing up so early?” Lisa, who was sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table having some fruit for breakfast, asked.

Chaeyoung, sitting next to Lisa and nursing a cup of tea, laughed at the question. “She’s obviously excited about today,” she teased, smirking mischievously up at Jennie.

The older girl rolled her eyes and headed to the kitchen to get some coffee. “What’s wrong with being excited?” she asked when she came back to the living room, sitting across from her two bandmates. She meant to sound tough and sassy, but there was a bit of vulnerability that she couldn’t quite hide.

Hearing it, Chaeyoung immediately backtracked. “Unnie, there’s nothing wrong with being excited! We’re sorry we laughed. I think it’s really great that you’re getting a recycler.”

Jennie blew the steam off the top of her coffee mug to avoid making eye contact with her dongsaengs. “Really?” she asked.

“Yeah, I mean, this has been your dream since even before we debuted, right? We’re happy for you, really.”

That cheered Jennie up a bit, and she smiled at them. “Okay,” she accepted, grateful to have such supportive friends. Getting a recycler had been a big decision, especially since she didn’t live alone. She’d initially been nervous to broach the topic with them, terrified that they would say no to such a big commitment and having another person living in the dorm with them, but they’d been cheering her on the whole time.

It was common for idols, as well as other members of society’s rich and elite, to have recyclers. After all, water was a precious resource, and rationed to each individual or family unit based on net worth, contributions to society, and so forth. The distribution system was regulated by an algorithm so complex most people couldn’t understand it, and there were, unfortunately, people at the fringes of society who didn’t get enough water to survive.

The solution, therefore, was relatively simple and straightforward. People who weren’t assigned enough water to survive could sign up to be recyclers and be assigned to members of society who were given an excess of water, and the name was somewhat self-explanatory. Basically, recyclers… recycled the water the elites drank.

Put more bluntly, they drank pee.

It was highly regulated, of course – applicants who wanted recyclers of their own had to go through health checkups and maintain a healthy and responsible lifestyle before they were assigned a recycler. There were background checks, home visits and it was overall a very stringent selection process. Even as the only daughter of a wealthy family, Jennie hadn’t been able to qualify. It wasn’t until she was an established idol with a group and a thriving solo career that she finally got the letter informing her that she was now eligible to undergo the selection process to have a recycler if she wanted it.

And, well… she definitely did. Recyclers, because of the nature of their relationship with their assigned donators, grew very close to them, a bond that often lasted a lifetime. It was exceedingly rare for recyclers to apply for a new donator – approximately 0.1% of recyclers did, usually because their handler abused them or had contracted a disease that made it unsafe for them to continue donating their urine. Jennie did not intend on being part of that 0.1%.

As an only child, Jennie had often been lonely growing up, and after watching a documentary when she was in her teens about the intimate bond between donators and recyclers, had craved that kind of companionship. Today, a long-held dream was finally coming true, and she was going to be bringing her assigned recycler home today.

She still had a little bit of time before she was supposed to get ready, so she opened her laptop and pulled up the file she’d been sent on her recycler. The file was comprehensive – full name, picture, age, educational background and other details. Enough for Jennie to start constructing an idea of what the girl she’d been assigned would look like, but not enough for her to understand L/n Y/n, the person. Still, she supposed, there would be plenty of time for that in the coming years.

Really, the agency had done a remarkable job of finding her the perfect companion. She’d had only a few vague ideas about what she wanted – a girl, preferably, because she was just more comfortable with having a girl around 24/7, someone younger than her so she could dote on her and fulfil her older sister fantasies, and cute. The last requirement was something that she’d reluctantly added at the request of her management company. Having recyclers was a symbol of stature, and played into idols’ image of being successful and wealthy. Jennie didn’t necessarily like it, but they wouldn’t have okayed her having a recycler who wasn’t photogenic, so she’d had no choice.

As much as she knew about her recycler, Y/n didn’t know much about her at all, because she’d requested that her identity be kept strictly private. With the amount of public interest in idols’ lives, she knew her seeking a recycler would be leaked if she didn’t take the utmost care to keep it secret, and even though it was inevitable that everyone would eventually find out, she wanted to keep it to herself just for a little while. A few weeks to get to know her recycler without public scrutiny, was that too much to ask for?

Anyways, given that her recycler didn’t know anything about her or who she was, she wanted to make a good impression. She’d been thinking of what to wear for days now and hadn’t been able to decide, but now time was running out and she had to choose something fast.

“Aaaargh,” she cried, ruffling her hair in frustration as she stared at her closet. Half of her closet was Chanel and the other half was filled with assorted haute couture pieces, yet she couldn’t come up with something that she was confident meeting you in.

Hearing her scream, Jisoo slipped into her room sleepily. “What’s going on?” she asked, yawning. Jennie had woken her up, and she sat down on the bed, sighing. She wished she was still in her own bed.

“Unnie, I can’t figure out what to wear,” Jennie complained, turning to her bandmate.

Jisoo blinked at her. “Why are you having such a hard time? It’s not a big deal.”

“But I want her to like me,” Jennie whined, sticking her head back into her closet.

“She’s going to like you no matter what, Jennie-yah,” Jisoo said, her eyes drooping.

“You don’t know that! How could you possibly know that?” Jennie cried, sliding the hangers one by one along the bar in her closet to look at all her clothes.

Jisoo sighed. “Just don’t wear pants. It makes it harder to… you know.”

Jennie, who had been looking at a pair of wide-legged trousers, turned back to look at Jisoo with wide eyes. “Oh my God, that’s true,” she said, sliding it over to the right and beginning to browse through her skirts and dresses instead.

In the end, she went with a simple ensemble – a white, off-shoulder, cropped blouse with a large bow on the bottom and a short black pleated skirt. Because she was a Chanel girl at heart, she paired it with a small black Classic Flap and heeled booties.

By the time she was ready to leave, she was running late (despite her early start today!) and dashed out of the dorm, yelling a hasty goodbye to her roommates. As she walked towards her car in the underground parking lot of the dorm, she sent out a quick prayer of thanks that YG had finally lifted the ban on the members driving. This whole thing would have been all the more awkward if she’d had to have someone drive her there.

------------------------------

As she pulled into the parking lot of the Bureau of Water Distribution, Jennie pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head. The security to get in was fairly rigid, since there were so many high net worth and prominent individuals who came to pick up their recyclers here. On the bright side, that meant no paparazzi, and everyone around her today would either be trained to ignore the fact that she was an idol, or famous enough that her presence wouldn’t faze them.

After parking her BMW, Jennie got out of the car and entered the building, psyching herself up to meet Y/n. It was just the most important day of her life, that’s all. You could divorce a husband, but recyclers were forever. She introduced herself at the counter and was almost immediately taken to a private room, where she was told to wait for her recycler.

With some time to kill, Jennie started looking around. The room was beautiful – marble flooring, leather couches, fancy furniture and art. This room was designed with its wealthy occupants in mind, and it showed. She squirmed in her seat nervously, her heart pounding from the nerves. If her recycler didn’t come soon, she was going to find her on the ground, unconscious.

Despite the anticipation, Jennie almost leapt out of her seat when there was a knock on the door. “Come in,” she said in a shaky voice as she stood up, her hands folded in front of her. The door opened and a stout lady in a pantsuit bustled in, clearly a member of the staff here from the lanyard dangling from her neck.

“Miss Kim, it’s nice to meet you. This is L/n Y/n,” she said, stepping aside so Jennie could take a good look at you.

You were clearly nervous, your eyes downcast and your hands, like hers, clasped politely in front of you. Without raising your eyes, you folded yourself into a deep bow, your torso parallel to the ground. “It’s nice to meet you, Miss Kim. Thank you for choosing me as your—” Your eyes widened in shock as you saw the person who was standing in front of you for the first time.

“Right, well, I’ll leave you two to get to know each other. When you’re ready to leave, just give me a call and I’ll give you the rest of the paperwork,” the staff member said before making herself scarce.

“Thank you,” Jennie said, nodding at the staff member as she left and shut the door behind her. Then she turned her attention to you. Your clear nervousness did a lot to put her at ease – she immediately slipped into nurturing mode as she saw how vulnerable you looked. Clad in the plain dress that came standard issue for recyclers, slightly hunched over, trying to make yourself smaller… the wave of tenderness that rushed over her almost knocked her clear over.

“Come sit down,” she said, sitting on the couch herself and patting the cushion next to her in invitation.

“Okay, Miss Kim,” you said politely, making a beeline for the couch. Clearly, you’d been taught to be obedient to your donator, but this was a little excessive, Jennie thought.

“You don’t have to be that formal, Y/n-ie. You can just call me Jennie,” she reassured you. “And you can relax. I don’t know what they taught you about how recyclers are supposed to act, but I really want you to become part of my family,” she continued, placing her hands over yours, which were still clasped together tightly.

Your gaze drifted from your hands in your lap up to her, and the apparent sincerity in her gaze as she smiled at you putting you at ease. It was still terrifying, of course – you hadn’t known until just now that your mysterious donator was a world-famous idol, and you didn’t quite know how to react. Still, the earnest expression on her face had you believing that no matter what, she would be right there with you. It was a nice feeling, and you couldn’t believe that someone you’d known for about five minutes was able to make you feel this way when no one in your life had ever succeeded.

“Thank you, Miss Kim— I mean, Jennie-unnie,” you amended hastily. “Sorry, it’s just that your file only had your last name, so I got used to calling you that in my head.”

Then you realized what you’d said and flushed scarlet, much to Jennie’s delight. It was reassuring to know that she hadn’t been the only one looking over your file almost obsessively.

“Don’t worry,” Jennie said, squeezing your hands lightly. “I’ve been excited to meet you too. I know my file was pretty empty, though, so I’m happy to answer any questions you have before we sign the papers.”

“R-really?” Your eyes lit up.

Jennie chuckled. It was so easy to make you happy, it seemed. “Go wild,” she encouraged.

“Does being your recycler mean being in the public eye a lot?” you asked the first question that came to your mind.

Jennie hummed thoughtfully. “It might,” she admitted. “But we’ll all do our best to protect you, so you don’t have to worry, okay?”

You nodded as you digested that, then asked the next question. “Will I be living in the dorm with the other members?”

“Yeah, at least for a couple of years. When the lease is up on the apartment, we probably won’t renew it. It’s weird for us to be so old and still living together.” Catching your dumbfounded expression, she laughed. “Why? Are you excited to meet the others?”

At her question, you immediately ducked your head, though she could still see how red your ears were. She laughed in delight. “Y/n, are you a fan?”

You yanked your hands out from under hers to cover your face, which was hot to the touch. “Maybe,” you confessed miserably. She definitely found this weird now and would request a different recycler; you’d screwed things up before it even began.

“That’s so sweet,” Jennie cooed, patting your head. “Don’t worry, I’m sure everyone will love you.”

That didn’t sound like she was upset. Peeking at her from between your fingers, you saw that she was smiling, so you slowly lowered your hands. “Really?” you asked with a small voice, and she nodded at you, still smiling.

“Okay.” You smiled shyly back at her, and Jennie could barely resist cooing over you.

“Are you ready to get the papers now?” she asked, and you nodded.

She used the intercom in the room to call the staff member back, and the paperwork was quickly dealt with. You both signed the copies of the agreement presented to you – one for each of you, and one for the Bureau’s records – and that was it, you were free to go. Before the staff member left, however, Jennie stopped her to ask where the restroom was.

“What? You have a brand-new recycler right there!” the staff member barely got out through peals of laughter. Jennie looked over at you and flushed. She’d asked out of habit, forgetting that this was your whole purpose.

“Take as much time as you need, you can leave when you’re ready. Have a nice day!” she said as she left. Jennie and you stared at each other with wide eyes for an awkward moment before you looked away, clearing your throat.

“Uh, right… how do you want to do this?” you mumbled.

Jennie gulped and looked around. She hadn’t really thought that far ahead yet. “Uhh… how do you prefer to…?” she asked uncertainly.

Your gaze snapped up to hers. “I’ve never practiced it,” you told her. “Donators usually like to train their recyclers themselves according to their preferences.”

“Oh…” Jennie was clearly way out of her depth, floundering for help, and you felt a deep tug inside you that compelled you to provide that guidance.

You placed your hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her back onto the couch, then got on your knees in front of her. It was here that you hesitated – was it too intimate to help her remove her clothing? Was this something she would expect of you? – and you slowly raised your hands, giving her plenty of time to take off her own panties if she wanted to.

Instead, she continued staring down at you as you slipped your hands under her skirt, resting against the smooth, warm skin of her hips. It boggled your mind that you were in this position – you, who’d entered Bureau protection at the age of fifteen, who’d led a miserable, unspectacular life right up till this point, had been chosen as Jennie’s recycler. And she was so nice, too. Maybe this was an apology from God for dropping the ball on your life so badly.

“All right,” you murmured. “Here we go.” Then you hooked your fingers in her panties and started drawing them down. You’d never done this in real life, but there was an abundance of written material for recyclers, so you knew in theory how it worked. Swallowing hard, you pulled the scrap of lacy fabric down her legs gently, then set them aside.

“Uh, okay…” You looked up at her. “So, how do you want to do this? Do you want me to close my eyes, or…”

Jennie just looked blank. Clearly, she hadn’t given much thought to the details involved in recycling. Well, you thought optimistically, this was preferential to the donators who fetishized the act.

“I don’t know,” she finally admitted.

“It’s okay,” you rushed to comfort her, squeezing her ankle. “We can figure it out together.” Sooner rather than later would probably be best though, since she was starting to squirm in her seat. Pushing her knees apart, you positioned yourself beneath her, opening your mouth and looking up at her face.

“Is this okay?”

“Uh, I guess?” She was still gnawing her lip uncertainly, though, so you sat back to regard her.

“Is something bothering you?” you asked, your brows knitting together in concern.

“I don’t know, this is just kind of weird, isn’t it?” she fretted. “I don’t want to accidentally spray you in the face.”

You bit back a laugh. You were literally drinking her urine, and she thought you were afraid of getting some on your face? That was kind of cute, you thought. “Even if you do, they always keep wet wipes and towels in the rooms so that’s not a problem. If you’re really worried, I can form a seal with my mouth, but I read that sometimes it’s harder to pee like that.”

“Okay, let’s try that first, and then if it doesn’t work, we can go with the wipes?” she suggested. Your new donator was honestly so cute, and it was so different from her onstage persona that you were confused. Compartmentalizing it all and prioritizing her current needs over your disbelief that any of this was happening was the only way you were getting through this, but there would be plenty of time later to sit and mull over your thoughts.

Shuffling back slightly, you bent down to press your mouth to her bare pussy, being extremely careful with the… placement of everything so you didn’t make it awkward. Once you were settled, you remained still, focusing on not moving your tongue at all. Not knowing where to look, you ended up focusing on the ceiling. As a result, you didn’t see Jennie’s face twist slightly as she tried to focus on releasing her bladder.

Even though you couldn’t see it, you heard her huff in frustration and effort and felt the minute movements as she clenched and released her pelvic muscles, trying to start the stream. You waited patiently, your hands resting in your lap, forcing your body to relax to avoid stressing her out.

Eventually, she managed to do it, a little spurt trickling into your mouth. After that, it felt like the floodgates had opened as she started peeing more forcefully, forcing you to gulp it down hastily if you didn’t want to choke.

Urine, you’d read, tasted bitter and/or salty, depending on the diet of the individual. You’d been prepared to get used to it, knowing that you didn’t have much of a choice, but thankfully Jennie didn’t taste awful, which was probably because of her healthy diet. It just made you all the more grateful to have been assigned to her.

The stream eventually petered out, and you waited for a second to make sure she was done before pulling back, not sure if she wanted you to help clean her off. You looked up at her uncertainly and found her staring at you with a look of such sheer contentment that you couldn’t help but smile back at her.

“Thank you, Y/n-ah,” she said, still looking blissed out, and you helped her get dressed before standing up. She stood up too and took your hand as she led you out of the building.

When you stepped out, you blinked, slightly disoriented. You’d barely left this place for five years, and now you were leaving for good. It felt weird – even though you knew that this day was coming, especially after you received the file on your donator, it still felt strange to be walking out like this, with Kim Jennie from Blackpink, no less.

Jennie caught your bewildered expression and paused. “Are you okay?” she asked, taking a step back so she was standing next to you again.

“Uh, yeah, just… it’s been a while since I came in,” you replied dazedly, looking up at the building. It looked so ordinary from the outside.

You didn’t have that many things, having led a fairly spartan lifestyle in the Bureau, so there wasn’t much to load up her car with. Jennie had been informed, of course – donators were expected to provide for all their recyclers’ needs, which was one reason why the income requirements for donators were so strict. You slipped into the passenger seat of the BMW, looking around with wide eyes and sitting carefully with your hands folded in your lap, not wanting to touch anything unnecessarily.

“Relax, Y/n-ie.” She laughed at you as she started the car. “Put on your seatbelt,” she reminded, pulling out of the parking lot. You buckled yourself in but continued sitting uncomfortably.

“Seriously, chill out. You’re going to be spending so much time in this car; you can’t possibly stay like that forever.”

“Okay,” you said shyly, relaxing just a little into the seat. The windows were all tinted so no one could see in, which was probably for the best, since you were not ready to be plastered all over the tabloids.

“So tell me more about yourself, Y/n-ie,” Jennie requested. “You mentioned earlier that it had been a while since you came in. When did you join the Bureau?”

“When I was fifteen,” you explained.

“Really? That’s young. I thought people could only sign up to be recyclers when they turned eighteen.”

“That’s true, but there are exceptions for extenuating circumstances, like where families are unable to provide for their children.”

“Oh,” she said awkwardly. “I’m sorry.” You could see her wincing, like she was afraid she’d said something wrong.

“No, don’t be,” you assured her. “I never had the best life anyway. It actually got better when I was emancipated from my family. I got to finish my GED and everything because I joined the Bureau.”

“Well, that’s good,” she said a little lamely, not sure how to process that. She’d always known she was fortunate to be born into a family that could afford to give her all the opportunities that had led her to where she was today but seeing the difference between her life and yours so starkly forced her to confront her privilege more directly.

She directed the conversation back to more neutral topics and the drive home passed relatively quickly. As they took the elevator up from the underground carpark, Jennie prayed with all her might that the others hadn’t decided to do something completely over-the-top and ridiculous to welcome you into their home. You already seemed overwhelmed with everything that was happening (and yeah, maybe she should have consented to letting you know her identity before today) and she didn’t want to stress you out anymore.

Thankfully, there were no streamers or anything like that, although all three of the girls were seated on the couch, eagerly waiting. When the door opened, they leapt up as one, rushing to the door. You were, of course, startled by the sight of the three celebrities all but tripping over themselves to come greet you, and hid behind Jennie, clutching the back of her shirt while you peeped at the others over her shoulder.

As annoyed as she was with the others for being so extra, she couldn’t help but enjoy the way you were clinging to her, seeking protection and comfort. This was exactly what she’d been craving her whole life, and on the day that she met you, you provided it for her so effortlessly.

“Guys,” she frowned at them, but none of them were buying it since they could all see the subtle signs of her happiness that she couldn’t quite hide. It was in the way her eyes softened slightly and the relaxed posture of her shoulders.

“Sorry,” Lisa giggled. “We were just so excited to meet our new roommate.”

“Well, this is L/n Y/n,” she introduced you, stepping aside so the others could take a good look at you. Deprived of your shield now, you seemed to fold in on yourself.

“Hi,” you said in a voice so soft it was almost a whisper. Your greeting was accompanied by an awkward little hand wave, and Jennie could see the rest of the girls melting over you.

“Okay, let’s get you settled in, sweetie,” Jennie butted in. You nodded and followed her to her room like a baby chick, and she busied herself with showing you around and telling you where your stuff was, trying her best to ignore the sound of the others sitting in the living room cooing and giggling to each other.

When she was done, which honestly didn’t take that long since the apartment was rather modestly sized anyway, they returned to the living room where Jennie sat on the floor in front of the coffee table and you knelt politely next to her.

“I’m hungry, did you guys order lunch yet?” she asked the others, looking at the impressive collection of takeout menus spread out across the coffee table.

“No, we thought since it’s Y/n’s welcome lunch, she could order!” Chaeyoung explained, smiling at you.

“You guys, that’s so nice!” Jennie was moved on your behalf, but you were basically frozen, staring with wide eyes down at the menus. You had no idea what to do – at the Bureau all meals had been provided (and none of you had ever had any money anyways), and back when you’d lived with your parents, takeout had been a rare luxury.

“Um, what do you like, unnie?” you immediately turned to ask Jennie, the person you were the most familiar with in the house, albeit not by much.

“You should choose what you like today, Y/n-ie!” Jennie, absolutely unhelpfully, encouraged.

“Uhhh…” You turned back towards the dizzying selection of menus. “Maybe we can just get some kimchi stew?” You went with the most simple, basic option you could think of. Your mother used to make it for special occasions, and it was one of the few good memories you had of your childhood home.

“Yeah, that sounds great!” Chaeyoung cheered enthusiastically, sweeping aside the mess to pick up the menu for her favourite stew restaurant. “What do you guys want? I’ll order it,” she asked the others, and soon all four of them were poring over the menu, their heads close together as they discussed what dishes to get.

Since you’d already chosen, you sat back on your heels, watching them. Really, for being one of the most popular groups in kpop today, they seemed surprisingly normal to you. You hadn’t known what to expect coming into their home, but they were doing their best to make you feel included and comfortable with them.

Even as you were looking on fairly contentedly, ruminating on your good fortune to have gotten such an amazing second family, Jennie reached over to your lap and took your hand in hers, squeezing it reassuringly. When you looked over at her, she smiled at you, trying to convey without words just how happy she was that you were here.

For the first time, you started to believe that maybe the Bureau had been right when they’d assured the recyclers that they would help them find new homes far better than the ones they’d left.

---------------------------------

After lunch, all the girls retreated back into their rooms for naps. You and Jennie ducked back into her room – well, you amended, it was your shared room now – and Jennie shut the door in Jisoo’s face as she tried to come in after them. “Sorry, unnie, but she’s my recycler,” Jennie said, giggling at Jisoo’s stunned face before closing the door.

When she turned back to you, however, her expression was a lot more uncertain. “I hope that was okay,” she said. “You don’t mind, do you?”

You smiled back at her. “No, of course not,” you rushed to reassure her.

“Oh, okay, good,” she replied with visible relief. “Um, I do have to…”

“Right, of course.” You’d watched her casually drink glass after glass of water with lunch, after all, so this wasn’t really a surprise for you. It had been a little disconcerting, sure, because you were pretty sure between the four of them they’d easily consumed a day’s worth of water for you during lunch, but then again, they were rich and famous idols, so that was to be expected.

“How do you want to do this?” you asked, though you didn’t have much hope that she had an actual answer for you, based on how lost she’d been earlier.

Predictably, she just stared at you with wide eyes. Your lips twitched. “Do you want to do this in the shower?” you offered. There were a number of positions you’d studied, but obviously you’d never tried any of them out. She nodded, and you made your way to the bathroom together.

You knelt in the shower and waited for Jennie to join you. She stepped in hesitantly, standing in front of you. “Hey,” you greeted, smiling up at her as you held a hand out for her to take. She placed her hand in it and let you pull her over. “You okay?” you asked, running your thumb across her knuckles.

“Yeah,” she said, smiling down at you. Letting go of her hand, you slipped your hands up her skirt again to pull her panties down and off. She stepped out of them, then stepped closer to you.

“You have to open your legs a little more,” you murmured, before ducking your head slightly so you could look up at her pussy. Getting the idea, she widened her stance, then frowned. It still felt awkward.

Seeing her discomfort, you shuffled back closer to the wall, then guided her into a different position. Her hands were braced against the wall above your head, and she’d raised one leg, her knee pressing against the wall for support. “Is this better?” you murmured.

She nodded, then closed her eyes, concentrating. In this position, your mouth wasn’t pressed against her, so the first spurt missed your mouth entirely, spraying your cheek and dripping down your neck. Ignoring it, you adjusted your position and came a little closer to catch the rest of it neatly. Her taste was quickly becoming familiar to you now, and as you gulped it down, your eyes wandered up to her face, catching the blissful, relieved expression she was wearing. Her eyes were closed and her mouth slightly open, her brow furrowed slightly as she leaned her face against her arm. It was so cute that you couldn’t look away for a moment.

When the stream finally waned and then stopped, the last bit dripped against her thigh instead of falling into your mouth. You went to clean it up for her, then hesitated, not sure if she would be comfortable with it. Jennie had caught your aborted motion and asked what you were doing.

You looked up at her with an embarrassed flush. “I was, uh, going to clean it up for you,” you admitted.

She giggled at you, resting her forehead against the wall to look down more comfortably. “Go for it,” she urged, and you drew your tongue up her inner thigh, following the trail. You paused when your tongue hit the crook between her thigh and her body, and she just smiled at you encouragingly, so you continued, lapping up the droplets that clung to her.

Jennie helped you get yourself cleaned up after, then tucked you in next to her for a nap. As you drifted off to sleep, you squirmed a little closer to her, seeking her warmth and comfort.

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The day that Jennie had come to pick you up from the Bureau, you quickly learned, had been a rare day off for all four of them. Most days, even if they didn’t have group activities and appearances, Jennie had her own solo appointments, like interviews, meetings with Teddy for her solo work, Chanel appearances and so on. Because you couldn’t be away from her for more than a few hours, you went with her for most of them, though you stayed behind the scenes.

Since you’d come to her with so little of your own, Jennie had been having a field day shopping for you. Whenever she was free, she’d be on her phone or laptop browsing the different shopping websites with you. At first you’d been reluctant to buy so many new things, only selecting cheap clearance items, but with her repeated encouragement, you’d gotten bolder with choosing clothes and accessories that you liked.

Today, you were dressed in a cute summery outfit, a loose V-necked blouse with ruffled half-sleeves tucked into high-waisted dressy shorts. Loafers completed your cute ensemble, and a Chanel pendant that Jennie had lent you sat between your collarbones.

Jennie was supposed to be focusing on the photoshoot, but her gaze kept drifting towards you, sitting behind the photographer and watching everything with rapt attention. After being in the spotlight for so many years, all of this was commonplace to Jennie, just another day’s work, but it was all new and exciting for you, and seeing your fascination with photoshoots and music recording was refreshing for her.

The photographer knew Jennie was distracted, but the expression she was wearing, soft and open, was far better than the neutral, slightly pouty one she usually showed the camera, so he didn’t complain or direct her attention back to the shoot. This was amazing stuff, and fans would go wild for these photos.

He’d wanted to include you in the photo shoot and tell the world about Jennie’s new recycler, but that had been strictly forbidden. Jennie wanted to be able to tell the public about her recycler on her own terms and when you were ready, and you definitely weren’t yet. It was becoming somewhat of an open secret in the industry since you followed her almost everywhere, but everyone knew that if they were the one to leak it to the public, they would be blacklisted by YG, so no one dared.

When the photoshoot ended, you went back to the dorm together, Jennie driving while you chattered on excitedly about what you’d seen at the shoot. It appeared that Jennie wasn’t the only one who thought you were adorable – the other staff members there had too and indulged your many questions. The makeup artist had even done your makeup, and you were still giggling about it when you left the shoot venue with Jennie.

Tonight, however, Jennie was a little distracted, because she was going to see Kai for the first time since she’d gotten you, and she was worried about leaving you at home. You’d started to get along well with the others, so she wasn’t concerned about that, but for the last two weeks or so that she’d had you, you’d barely left her side. Was it weird to get separation anxiety from her recycler?

When you got back to the apartment, Jisoo and Lisa were still out with their own appointments, but Chaeyoung was hanging out in the living room watching Netflix on the TV, so you skipped off to join her while Jennie went and got ready. She called you into her room before she left to use your services, and you slipped off the couch to enter her room.

By now, you’d figured out your favourite way to do this, and Jennie had bought a special chair for this purpose. You rested under the seat comfortably, your body on an incline with your head slightly back, while Jennie sat down. She’d decided that she liked it better when your mouth was pressed against her, telling you that it was because it made less of a mess but actually rather enjoying the warm, cozy feeling of your lips against her, so the chair was set up so that your face was almost peeking through the seat.

She was wearing a pretty dress, which was currently scrunched around her waist, her panties in your hand. From her position on your face, she was staring at your legs, which were stretched out across the floor. This was the position that was the most comfortable for both of you given the limitations of the chair, and even though she’d been self-conscious at first about the way you were basically looking directly up her ass in this position, you’d rightly pointed out how silly it was to get shy about that, all things considered.

You really were a godsend, she thought as she relaxed and started to urinate in your mouth. So sweet and kind to her and everyone else you were around, and really, having you around meant she didn’t have to spend as much time fighting with the other girls for access to the bathroom, which was great in itself, but this comfortable set-up felt like the epitome of luxury to her. She was starting to love the experience of pissing in your mouth, and she wondered if you were aware of just how much she liked it.

When she was done, you conscientiously licked her clean, as usual, another aspect of the whole experience that she deeply enjoyed, then she got up off your face. You smiled at her as you extricated yourself from under the chair, then held her panties out for her to step into.

“Have fun on your date tonight, unnie,” you chirped, seeing her to the front door where she put her shoes on. She gave you a hug and a forehead kiss before departing.

You returned to the couch, curling up next to Chaeyoung with your legs folded beneath you, and she unpaused the show you’d been watching. It was just the two of you tonight, since Jisoo and Lisa had plans too. You didn’t mind – after Jennie, Chaeyoung was probably your favourite. You rested your head on her shoulder as you watched the movie quietly.

When the credits started to roll, Chaeyoung switched off the TV and the two of you made your way into the kitchen to get dinner. As you were chopping up the kimchi for the kimchi fried rice, Chaeyoung, who was stir-frying the pork, struck up a conversation by asking you how your day had been.

Excited, you started chattering on about how much fun you’d had tagging along on Jennie’s photoshoot, continuing even after dinner was ready and you moved back to the living room to start eating.

Chaeyoung, who, like Jennie, was so used to photoshoots and the like that they’d completely lost their charm, thought it was absolutely adorable how excited you were about what to them were regular, daily events. When you finally wound down, she asked, “So what was it like for you growing up?”

You put down your spoon and finished chewing your food. “I didn’t come from the best family,” you explained. “I was emancipated when I was fifteen and joined the Bureau and lived there until I was old enough to come here.” Jennie knew most of the details surrounding your past, courtesy of sleepy late-night chats almost every night, but the others didn’t.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Chaeyoung apologized, thinking she’d brought up unpleasant memories.

You shrugged. “It’s all right. My parents tried their best, but there was never quite enough water and money. It was a relief for us all when I left, I think. And I’m here now, so it worked out,” you concluded, smiling at her.

“I guess you’ve been enjoying your time with us then?”

“What gave me away?” you giggled. “Everyone’s been really nice, especially Jennie-unnie. I’ve never had so many clothes and things.”

Chaeyoung was surprised by how happy you seemed to be. Even though recyclers were fairly commonplace, she’d always expected that they would be kind of unhappy about their lot in life. “Really? So you don’t mind the whole drinking pee thing?”

You’d just put a spoonful of rice in your mouth when she said that, and in your surprise, some went down the wrong pipe, causing you to choke and cough. “Jesus,” you wheezed when you finally recovered.

“Sorry, sorry!” Chaeyoung cringed. “That was a really personal question, wasn’t it?”

“Kind of,” you shrugged, “but it’s okay. And to answer your question, I don’t really mind, I guess. Like, I learned at the Bureau that some people taste pretty gross, but Jennie-unnie tastes okay. And it makes her so happy.”

“Yeah, it really does.” Chaeyoung had to agree. In the past few weeks since you’d come to live with her, Jennie had smiled more, and doted on you like crazy. Plus, it was clear the arrangement suited her – the satisfied smile she wore whenever you emerged from her room together had become somewhat of an inside joke among the girls.

“Are you thinking of getting a recycler of your own?” you asked, resting your chin on your hand as you regarded her. Your expression was open and friendly, and Chaeyoung hesitated, looking away shyly.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for the commitment,” she confessed.

“I understand that,” you said, nodding. You really did – a recycler was a whole person that she would be responsible for, and you knew it was a big responsibility. “I think it’s really great that you’re aware of your limitations.” You reached over and patted her hand.

With a rush of bravery brought about by how nice you were being, she finally said, in a slightly embarrassed tone, “I’ve always wanted to try it, though.”

“Try what?”

“Uh, you know…” Having utilized her store of bravery, Chaeyoung hid her face in the crook of her elbow on the table.

“Oh,” you said, then, as the meaning of her words sank in, you repeated, “Oh.”

Even though her head was resting on the table, you could see her shoulders drawing up around her ears as she let out a miserable whine, regretting having said anything in the first place. Your lips twitched in amusement. This was honestly pretty funny, and even after being here for a couple of weeks, you couldn’t believe that little old you got to see the famous pop stars like this.

“It’s okay, forget I said anything, please,” Chaeyoung begged, finally lifting her face off the table to face you.

You pressed your lips together to stop yourself from laughing at her. “No, it’s okay, really,” you rushed to assure her when you were sure you could speak without gigging. “Have you talked to Jennie about it?”

Chaeyoung shrugged. “No, why would I?”

“She might be able to tell you more about it,” you said, then hesitated before making your offer. “Plus, if she doesn’t mind, I could… you know.”

That caught her attention. “Really?” she asked, perking up.

“Yeah, if Jennie-unnie is okay with it, I guess I don’t mind,” you said, shrugging. After all, you’d been around her long enough to know what her eating and drinking patterns were like, and she seemed to have a pretty healthy lifestyle, so you didn’t have any concerns.

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It was past midnight when Jennie came home, and you were already in bed, doing something on the laptop she’d gotten you last week. You looked up when you heard the door open and smiled at her when she came in.

“Did you have a good date?” you asked as Jennie set down her bag and sat at her dresser to remove her makeup.

She smiled at you in the mirror. “Yeah, I did,” she told you. It was true – Kai knew that she’d gotten a recycler since she’d been texting him with updates while he was on tour, and was interested to know how you were settling in, plus they’d had sex at his apartment after dinner, which was why she’d returned to the dorm so late.

As she went to the bathroom to shower, she thought about something weird that had happened, though. Kai had been almost too interested in you. At first she’d brushed it off, happy that he was taking an interest in you since you were now an important part of her life, but he’d kept asking intimate questions that she didn’t quite know how to answer.

Plus, she’d had to use the toilet at his apartment since she couldn’t hold it anymore, and after weeks of pissing exclusively in your mouth, it had felt strange and almost unpleasant. Would it be weird to take you along on date nights, she wondered. It was almost inevitable that you would meet at some point if her relationship with him continued, so it might be best to introduce you two anyway.

By the time she went back to the bedroom, clad in her pajamas, you’d put your laptop away and were snuggled up in bed, on the side closer to the wall. You smiled softly as she padded through the room to get under the covers next to you, turning onto your side to face her. Excitedly, you asked her for more details about your date, and she acquiesced, recounting every detail of it to her attentive one-person audience.

“Wow,” you sighed as you closed your eyes, “that’s so cool. I’ve never been on a date like that before.”

“Really? Never?” Shocked, Jennie turned onto her front and propped herself up with her elbows on the mattress so she could look down at you.

“Yeah, I went to live in the Bureau when I was fifteen, remember?” you said, opening your eyes.

“Right.” Jennie lay back down, starting to feel bad for you. If you were her recycler, chances were you’d never be able to experience many things that she took for granted.

“And you’re dating Kai from EXO too, wow,” you sighed. “I love EXO.”

“Well, maybe you’ll be able to meet them one of these days,” Jennie said lightly. Now that she knew you were excited about EXO, she felt a lot better about introducing you to her boyfriend.

“Maybe,” you said, before letting out a massive yawn.

“Okay, sweetie, good night,” she said, leaning over to kiss your forehead, before turning off the light using her phone.

--------------------------------

The next morning, you and Jennie slept in, and by the time you emerged from her room, the others were already hanging out in the living room. Jennie went to get breakfast for both of you in the kitchen while you sat on the couch with Lisa.

Chaeyoung, seeing Jennie, got up and followed her to the kitchen. After exchanging greetings and niceties, she got straight to the point, too excited and nervous to beat around the bush. Last night, she’d barely gotten any sleep from thinking so hard about your offer, and the more the thought floated around her mind, the more she found herself craving it.

“Unnie, can I ask you a question?”

Jennie, still slightly sleepy, grunted as she poured herself some coffee.

Understanding that that meant yes, Chaeyoung forged ahead. “Do you like having a recycler? Like, I mean, the actual recycling part,” she clarified.

Jennie turned to blink at her, the coffee pot still in her hand. “Are you asking me if I like having Y/n drink my pee?” she asked slowly. She wasn’t much of a morning person, and Chaeyoung could hear the gears in her head slowly grinding as she thought about the question.

“Uh, yeah,” Chaeyoung confirmed, a little abashed now as she rubbed the back of her neck.

“Yeah, it’s nice.” The thought of it put a little smile on Jennie’s face as she took her coffee and turned to lean against the counter, raising the mug to her lips.

“Great, that’s great. I was talking to Y/n-ie about it last night, and uh… I was wondering if I could try?”

“Try… what?” Jennie raised an eyebrow.

“You know…” Chaeyoung, now shy, looked down at the floor. “Recycling.”

“Oh…” After pausing to take a sip of her coffee, Jennie shrugged. “I mean, it’s her choice. If she says yes, I’m not going to stop her.”

Hearing that, Chaeyoung’s eyes lit up. “R-really?!”

Jennie blinked, not sure why she seemed so surprised. “Yeah, she’s still her own person. I can’t make these decisions for her. But only if she wants to, okay? You can’t pressure her into it.”

“No, of course not,” Chaeyoung assured her. “She was the one who offered, actually. Yay! Thank you, unnie!” she cheered. “I can’t wait to tell her about it.”

At the blatant display of enthusiasm, Jennie rolled her eyes and raised her coffee cup back to her lips to hide how cute she thought her dongsaeng’s excitement was. As much as she tried to play it cool, she could relate – she loved recycling too. It was probably a strange comparison to make, all things considered, but you’d spent more time down there with your lips pressed to her than Kai ever had, and she was starting to enjoy you cleaning her off way more than she should, given that it wasn’t necessarily an erotic act for you.

Still, she thought as she downed her coffee, that seemed like a problem for a different time, when they didn’t have to get to the studio to practice. Placing the mug into the sink to wash when they got home, she left the kitchen to eat breakfast and then get ready.

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Watching the girls practice for their new comeback was seriously the best thing that had ever happened to you, you thought as you sat in a corner of the dance studio with the dogs. You’d taken a liking to each other, and Kuma was lounging comfortably in your lap while Dalgom sat next to you, whining every time you stopped petting him.

Their comeback song was really catchy too – Teddy had really outdone himself this time, and you couldn’t wait for their comeback. It was so different, though, seeing all the behind-the-scenes prep for everything before the final product, and it gave you a way better understanding of how hard the girls actually worked.

Jennie’s skin tasted different, too, during and after dance practice, which was something you probably should have expected, but it didn’t occur to you until after she’d settled on your face, her thighs bracketing your face. Since you couldn’t bring her chair around with you, for obvious reasons, the two of you had had to figure out a more minimalist way of doing this while you were out of the house.

Since there were so many prominent people in YG, almost every room had some facilities to cater to recyclers, like a screen for privacy. It meant that Jennie didn’t have to spend as much time going to the bathroom down the hall, which did make them more efficient, because she had to pee all the time, but since the other girls didn’t have recyclers, it didn’t really help that much.

Still, it was nice taking breaks to feed you her piss. You always smiled at her, and had sweet words of encouragement, telling her she was doing a good job even if it didn’t feel like it. It was almost worrying how much she was coming to depend on you, not just for her physical needs, but for your companionship and emotional support as well.

Plus, having you lick her clean sent a little thrill down her spine every time, and that definitely helped to cheer her up. Although she shied away from thinking of it as an erotic act, it did feel a lot like unconditional acceptance, especially when she knew she was sweaty. You never even made a face, easily going with the flow (pun unintended).

It wasn’t uncommon for recyclers to form close bonds with their donators, Jennie knew. YG had many donators among its ranks – TOP from Big Bang had adopted one after he cleaned up his act enough that the Bureau considered him eligible, and his recycler, who’d been with him for three years now, was doing a remarkable job at keeping him on the straight and narrow. Being so directly responsible for someone else’s welfare had really made him more careful with his own body.

When the girls declared that it was time for a lunch break, you tagged along with them to the cafeteria. The food at the YG cafeteria was famously delicious, and you always enjoyed eating there. Plus, you got to see the trainees, idols and actors come and go, which was always fun, even if you sometimes had trouble not staring.

After lunch, the girls were going their separate ways – Jennie had to work on her solo album, Lisa was going to work on a dance collaboration, Jisoo was going to film for her new drama and Chaeyoung was off to an event. After waving goodbye to the other girls, you followed Jennie to the recording studio.

Seeing that you were alone there since you were a bit early, Jennie took the opportunity to ask you about her conversation with Chaeyoung earlier. Sitting you down on the couch, she rolled a desk chair over so she could sit facing you.

“Chaeng asked if she could try, uh…” Really, she thought, it was ridiculous how much difficulty she had talking about when it had become such a significant part of her life.

Fortunately, you remembered your conversation with Chaeyoung last night, and understood what she was trying to say immediately. “Uh-huh?” you nodded, looking at her attentively.

“She said you were okay with it, but I just wanted to check if you’re really okay. I mean, you don’t have to feel like you have to just because she’s my friend and all, and if you don’t want to I can tell her no—” Jennie was starting to ramble, so caught up in assuring you that you didn’t have to feel forced into anything because of your position in the household.

“No, I was okay with it,” you cut her off with wide eyes. “I was the one who offered. Is that what you were talking about this morning?” Come to think of it, Chaeyoung had left the kitchen in such a good mood this morning that you should have realized that something was up. You’d been playing with Lisa’s cats, though, so you hadn’t given it much thought.

“Yeah, she asked me about it in the kitchen,” Jennie confirmed. “I just wanted to check if you were okay with it.”

“Yeah, I don’t mind,” you said with a smile. “Oh, unless you mind,” the thought came to you suddenly. “I’ll tell her no if you don’t like it!” you rushed to assure her. You hadn’t even considered that she might have a problem with it when you opened your big mouth (again, pun unintended).

“No, no! I don’t mind. You can do whatever you’d like, of course. I won’t stop you.”

“Oh… okay. Great!” you said slightly awkwardly, not sure what else to say in this situation. Thankfully, Teddy entered the room and saved you from having to say any more.

-----------------------------------

Based on the way Chaeyoung was staring at you over dinner, you were pretty sure Jennie had already green-lighted things with her. The anticipation in her gaze was almost disconcerting in its intensity, but truth be told you were kind of flattered that she was so excited about it. Jennie had a boyfriend, so you knew that this act was nothing sexual for her, but you’d learned during your time preparing to be a recycler that for many donators, having someone consume their urine directly from the source was often an intensely sexual experience.

From Chaeyoung’s almost predatory gaze, you were fairly sure she was one of those people. Still, she hadn’t said anything to you about it, so you figured she would probably just do it and then dismiss you to take care of herself.

After dinner, you all brought your dishes back to the bucket your delivery had arrived in and left it outside the door for the delivery person to retrieve. Usually all of you went back to your rooms after dinner, but tonight, as you were about to follow Jennie back into the room you now shared, Chaeyoung grabbed your hand.

You turned, your eyes following the hand clasped around yours to the determined gaze of the girl who owned it. Biting your lip, you nodded and followed her into her room instead. As you disappeared into Chaeyoung’s room, you didn’t notice Jennie watching you.

Even though you’d been living here for a few weeks now and had seen Chaeyoung’s room from the outside, you’d never set foot in it, since there hadn’t been a reason for you to up till today. As she shut the door behind you, you stood awkwardly, wringing your hands and shifting your weight from one foot to the other.

Chaeyoung, on the other hand, was way too excited to feel nervous, and giggled as she pulled your hands apart by grabbing one of your wrists. “Come on,” she beckoned, drawing you closer to her.

“How do you want me to do this?” you asked. Her excitement was contagious, and you couldn’t help but smile back at her. You were quickly learning that there was a part of you that loved to please others.

“How do you usually do it with unnie?” She responded with another question, and you blinked at her in surprise. Somehow, you’d been expecting her to already know what she wanted – after all, she was the one who’d been so enthusiastic about this.

“Uh, you remember that new chair that was delivered?” When she nodded, you continued, “She usually sits in it and, uh, it’s a special chair so I can rest under it…”

“Right,” Chaeyoung looked around her room thoughtfully, then frowned. “I don’t think I have anything that would serve the same function.”

“Oh, you don’t have to have anything like that,” you rushed to reassure her. “I mean, it’s not like there’s a chair in the studio or anything.”

“That’s true.” She perked up at that. “So how do you usually do it?”

“Well…” you knelt down and looked up at her. “Usually she stands over me, or if we’re at the studio she sits on the couch and I kneel in front of her.” Jennie had taken to the first position you’d shown her, even after you’d tried out all the different ones the Bureau had suggested to find the ones you liked best.

“Hmm,” Chaeyoung hummed. “This doesn’t seem that comfortable, though.”

Eventually, you managed to figure something out – you sat with your back against her bed, your head resting on the mattress, while she knelt on it, hovering over your face. As she looked down at you, sandwiched between her knees, she smirked, an expression that had you clenching involuntarily. This was new, you noted with some surprise.

“You ready?” she cooed, so like the sweet, thoughtful woman you’d gotten to know and like over the past two weeks, but also different somehow, confident and enticing. Entranced by this new side of her, you nodded, opening your mouth under her pussy.

“Good girl,” she praised, smiling down at you. She was holding her shirt up slightly so she could see your face more clearly, and she let out a sigh of relief as she relaxed her pelvic muscles, starting to pee. It missed your mouth at first, landing on your forehead, and she let out a giggled “Oops!” as she readjusted herself so that she was peeing into your mouth.

You’d offered to do what you did with Jennie to minimize mess, pressing your mouth to her, but she’d declined, and now you realized why. She enjoyed the visual of the urine descending the short distance from her pussy to your mouth, relished in the power to soak your whole face if she wanted. Your eyes were focused on her core, which was still gushing, but you could hear her sighs and whispered praises.

When the stream dwindled and eventually stopped, Chaeyoung sighed like she was disappointed – and she was. She’d been holding it for hours, since lunchtime, in anticipation for tonight, and it had been over so fast. This experience had been everything she’d dreamed it would be, and she was only sad that it had ended. She had no expectation that this would be anything other than a one-time thing, since the way she’d asked you, it had seemed like a research experience.

However, you weren’t done yet. There was still the cleanup process, so you lifted your hands to her bare hips and pulled her down gently onto your face. This time, she looked down at you with some surprise, and you returned her earlier smirk right before you dragged your tongue up her slit.

“Mmm, God,” she gasped, shuddering as you continued licking her clean. “What the hell are you doing?”

Now done, you licked your lips and grinned at her. “Cleanup,” you replied in a matter-of-factly tone. “I do it all the time for Jennie-unnie too.”

“No wonder she looks so pleased all the time now,” Chaeyoung grumbled jealously, and you giggled. It hadn’t escaped your notice while cleaning her that she was wet too, her slick possessing a markedly different flavor from her piss. You weren’t that naïve, and if she was amenable, you were more than happy to help her with that too.

After all, you had Rosé of Blackpink sitting on your face right now. Who were you to throw away such an opportunity?

“I want to please you too, unnie,” you cooed, batting your lashes at her. You were somewhat surprised at where all this bravado was coming from, but she seemed to enjoy it, so you were rolling with it too.

“Ugh, you’re so sweet, who taught you to say such sweet things?” she asked.

“I’m just being honest,” you responded coquettishly before sliding your tongue through her folds again.

Chaeyoung moaned, throwing her head back luxuriantly as she widened her stance to lower herself further down on your face. “Such a good girl,” she praised, starting to rock her hips back and forth, sliding herself over your tongue.

You’d never done this before, so your movements were a little clumsy, but your sheer enthusiasm more than made up for it, as you licked and sucked at her, letting her grind down on your face as she pleased.

“Stick your tongue out for me, sweetie,” she prompted, smiling down at you when you did. She fucked herself on your tongue, sliding along it until it bumped her clit, then sinking down on it. Your tongue was inside her now, and her clit bumped against your nose. All you could smell and taste was her, and when she looked down at you, she could only see your eyes since her pussy was firmly planted on the rest of your face.

“You look so pretty like that,” she said before continuing to fuck herself on your face, her movements growing faster and choppier as she chased her orgasm. Breathy moans and gasps spilled from her lips, increasing in volume and frequency as she grew closer. “Mmf, fuck, you’re so good at this,” she cried out a second before she ground herself down harder on your face, uncaring of your need to breathe as she came.

Her sloppy movements smeared her slick all over your face and in your mouth, and when she finally lifted herself off you, you took a deep breath before grinning cheekily up at her and making a show of licking your lips. “Did you enjoy that, unnie?” you asked, and she huffed out a breathless laugh as she shuffled out of that position straddling your face and lay back against her pillows.

“You know I did,” she teased. “Now come here, I want to return the favour,” she demanded.

Immediately, your head came up off the bed and you turned yourself around so you were kneeling on the ground, facing her. “Oh, uh, no, you don’t have to, I—”

She rolled her eyes. “Come here,” she ordered, holding her hand out to you, and you had no choice but to let her pull you close. She tugged so hard you ended up falling into the pillows next to her and knocking the wind out of your lungs. You squirmed around a little so that your head was resting on her shoulder as you looked up at her.

“If you don’t want me to, that’s fine, but I really want to,” she said in a low voice. “I want to see how wet you are from eating me out so good, Y/n-ie, and make you cum all over my fingers.”

Her words had you squirming, and you breathlessly agreed. She guided you into a kneeling position so that you were straddling her hips, then dipped her hand into your shorts, her fingers ghosting over your clit. At the same time, her other hand wrapped around the back of your neck, pulling you down to her.

“Do you like that?” she whispered against your lips as you shuddered. No one else had ever touched you before, and all of this was new to you. You nodded silently, biting your lip to hold back a whimper.

“Good girl, such a good girl for me,” she praised as her fingers slipped into your panties. “And so wet,” she exclaimed with delight. Dipping her fingers into your folds to collect some slick, she then started circling around your clit with slippery fingers. In response, your head fell onto her shoulder as you held on to her tightly.

“Fuck, you’re so pretty like this,” she continued with her filthy litany as she started fucking you with her fingers, letting you grind your clit on the heel of her hand. You let out a moan as you rocked your hips, feeling everything get wetter as you grew more aroused.

“Unnie, please—” you whispered, not knowing exactly what you were asking for. She knew, though, and sped up the movements of her hand.

“Are you going to cum for me? That’s right, sweet thing, cum all over my hand like a good girl,” she purred. Helplessly, you pushed your clit further into her hand and ground it in, shuddering as you came like she asked you to. She continued to work you through your orgasm, only withdrawing when you grew too sensitive.

Seeing how shiny her fingers were from the thick coating of slick on them, you flushed, but she just winked at you as she popped them into her mouth. “Delicious,” she commented, smacking her lips.

You giggled, her nonchalant attitude making it less awkward than you’d imagined it would be after everything that had just transpired. “Likewise,” you murmured, ducking back in for another kiss.

After staying there for about ten more minutes, trading kisses and flirtatious remarks, you figured it was time to go back to Jennie’s room and you said as much, slipping out of Chaeyoung’s embrace and off the bed.

“All right,” she acquiesced when you told her, yawning as she lay back in her pillows. “It was a good time, though. Do you wanna do it again sometime?”

Your hand on the doorknob, you turned to wink at her. “Definitely,” you said before leaving the room.

Jennie was sitting on her bed, flipping through a magazine, when you entered, and she looked up to smile at you. “Did everything go okay?” she asked, her expression completely neutral. She knew, of course, what had just happened between the two of you. You’d been gone way too long to have just drank her piss, and the walls weren’t soundproof. She didn’t mind, but just wanted to make sure that you hadn’t been coerced into anything.

“Yeah,” you replied with a bright smile, putting her at ease.

“Good.” She stood up and started walking over to the chair. You were familiar enough with each other now that she didn’t need to say anything; you got it immediately, rushing over and kneeling on the ground to help her with her clothes, then maneuvering yourself under the chair. In light of your new experience with Chaeyoung, however, this act took a different light now.

You weren’t stupid or blind; you’d known all along that Jennie was gorgeous, and you’d been a fan of Blackpink for years before you came to live with them. You just hadn’t thought about this act in a sexual light because you knew that it wasn’t really sexual for Jennie, and you didn’t want to be that creepy weirdo. Plus, learning about the technicalities of it all in the Bureau for years kind of sucked all the joy out of it.

Jennie sat down on your face, wriggling slightly to get into the position that was the most comfortable for her. From her vantage point, the only part of your face she could see was your chin, and she wondered if this was how Chaeyoung had done it too. Not that it was any of her business, of course.

Your mouth stretched open under her, and she relaxed with a sigh, listening to the hissing sound of the pee leaving her body and the quiet noises of you swallowing. You usually held on to the edges of the seat, and today she stroked her fingers across yours. Taking the cue, you released the seat, letting her guide your hands to cling to her thighs instead.

When she was done, you licked her clean as usual, but this time you couldn’t stop thinking about how it had felt to eat Chaeyoung out until she came, and you found yourself getting a little cheeky, sliding your tongue along Jennie’s slit a little slower and deeper than usual, flicking her clit just once before you closed your mouth.

Jennie, however, didn’t seem to react, standing up looking completely composed and turning to smile down at you. You helped her fix her clothes then went to take a shower, washing Chaeyoung off your face.

Once you were gone, Jennie let out the breath she’d been holding in a long exhale, lying on the bed looking up at the ceiling. She was pretty sure that had been accidental, but boy had it felt good.

-------------------------------------

It was only a couple of nights later that Jennie took you to meet Kai. She figured there was no time like the present – plus, given her reaction to what was no doubt an accident on your part, Kai needed to take his conjugal duties more seriously.

Tonight, the three of you were in the private apartment he’d bought. He still lived with the rest of his members in their dorm, but most of them had investment properties. It was handy when they needed their own space, like tonight.

In all honesty though, you weren’t sure how you felt about Kai. Sure, he was handsome and famous and you’d been a little starstruck at first, but the way he was talking to you and looking at you was making you feel a little uncomfortable. It was difficult to put your finger on it, but when he looked at you, you wanted to curl up into a ball and hide. He was just asking way too many personal, intimate questions about your experience as Jennie’s recycler.

Now that dinner was over, you were all sitting in the living room, and you were seated next to Jennie on the couch, half-curled into her, automatically seeking her protection. She too had noticed that Kai was looking at you kind of strangely all through dinner, but didn’t know what was up with him.

“So, Y/n-ie…” he said, leaning forward. You turned from Jennie to face him. “Have you enjoyed being with my Jennie?”

You looked back towards Jennie uncertainly, slightly confused about what he was asking. “Uh, yeah,” you replied when you turned back to look at him. “Jennie-unnie’s been really nice, and the other Blackpink unnies have been nice too.”

“I’m sure they’ve been,” he brushed off your answer patronizingly, “but what I mean is, have you enjoyed being with her?”

Your eyes widened and you looked at Jennie again, this time begging her to intervene. Sensing your distress, she squeezed your leg. “Oppa, Y/n-ie doesn’t understand your question, and neither do I,” she said slightly sharply.

Instead of taking the warning, Kai laughed it off. “I’m just curious, you know?” he said with a shrug. “You can’t blame me. I bet she’s closer to you than I am.”

At your clear discomfort, Jennie changed the topic and Kai didn’t turn the conversation back around to you again, not wanting to jeopardize his chances of getting lucky tonight. Eventually, he invited Jennie to the bedroom with a flimsy excuse – “please come help me with something in the bedroom” – and you remained on the couch, reading the book you’d brought with you and listening to music with the noise-cancelling headphones Jennie had specifically gotten for you while they were occupied.

After they were done, Jennie came out of the room since she had to pee. (What? It’s good to pee after sex, okay?) Since Kai was still in the bedroom, she figured it would be comfortable enough to do it on the couch, and you easily acquiesced, getting into the position you both preferred.

This time, however, when you pressed your mouth to her, Kai’s cum dripped out, thick, salty and altogether unpleasant. You tried to school your features, but even though you hadn’t been together for that long you’d made up for that with the sheer amount of time you spent together each day, and Jennie caught the grimace in the instant before you hid it.

Still, she figured, she could talk to you about it later but right now she really had to pee, so she just started going in your mouth. You were pretty much an expert at this time, so you sucked it down without any problem, but because you really didn’t want Kai’s cum to be the taste lingering on your tongue later, you licked her clean perfunctorily, avoiding her slit as much as possible.

When you were done, you pulled away quickly, hiding your distaste – or so you thought – by smiling sweetly up at Jennie, the way you usually did. “All clean,” you chirped at her.

Attempting to hide her unease, she smiled back at you before heading back to the bedroom.

Kai was still lounging in bed, his arms folded behind his head as he smiled lazily at her. He was supremely confident of his own body – and, of course, why wouldn’t he be? He looked like an Adonis. “Come back to bed, sweetie.”

Jennie, of course, was more than happy to acquiesce. She lay back down next to him and let him cuddle her close, resting her head on his shoulder. “Jennie-yah… I want to ask you something.”

“Hmm?” she said, only half-paying attention. Her eyes were sliding shut.

“Is it nice to pee in someone else’s mouth?”

Opening her eyes, she adjusted her position to look him more fully in the eye. “Everyone keeps asking me that,” she muttered. “Is everyone really so curious about it?”

He shrugged, jostling her slightly. “It is a pretty big lifestyle change,” he pointed out.

“It’s all right, I guess.” For some reason, she didn’t feel entirely comfortable talking to him about it.

Bending to kiss her temple, he said, “I’m lucky to have you.”

Jennie smiled, bemused. “Not that I’m disagreeing, but why?” she asked lightly.

“Well, you’ll let me use her too, won’t you?”

She frowned, sitting up. “I’ll let you?”

“Yeah, I mean, you let Chaeyoung-ssi use her.” He still looked nonchalant about it, like he fully expected her to agree with him.

“Oppa, Y/n-ie was the one who agreed to that. I can ask her, if you really want to.”

To Jennie’s shock, he started looking really pouty and put out, like she’d done something to offend him. “Okay… yeah, will you please ask her for me?” he finally asked.

“All right,” she accepted, hoping that he would drop the topic. The atmosphere remained somewhat tense though, like he was still upset about it, and when she left with you, he was still sulking.

----------------------------------

Jennie had worried that your experience with Kai might affect your relationship with her, especially after you’d seemed to reluctant to drink from her after she’d slept with him the other night. Thankfully, by the next morning you seemed to be back to normal, enthusiastic and conscientious when she had her morning piss.

She was so relieved (ha) that you weren’t mad at her, and so reluctant to say anything that might exacerbate the situation, that it wasn’t until almost a week later that Jennie tried to broach the topic of Kai’s request. She didn’t really want to, because it seemed like you weren’t the biggest fan of him, but she’d promised. She made sure to wait till it seemed like you were in a good mood, when the memory of Kai’s weirdness wasn’t quite so fresh in your mind.

You were already in bed when she brought it up, and she was sitting at the dresser applying her skincare. “Y/n-ah…” she started.

“Hmm?” You were starting to fall asleep, half-listening and half-floating in space.

“What do you think of Kai?”

Your eyes snapped open, suddenly awake. “He’s all right, I guess,” you said politely, not wanting to upset her.

“Okay,” she accepted, and you sat in silence for a moment longer. “Would you… be willing to lend him your mouth?” she finally asked.

Your immediate instinct was to reject the request – vehemently at that, while making a disgusted face, but the tentative expression on her face gave you pause. “Do you want me to?” you asked instead. You thought she might want you to do this as a favour for her even if you didn’t want to since Kai was her boyfriend, after all, and her approach to this might be different from how she’d treated Chaeyoung’s request.

“Well, he wanted me to ask, but I won’t force you,” she said carefully.

“But will it damage your relationship if I don’t?” You picked up easily on the silent tension. As much as you felt uncomfortable around Kai, he was Jennie’s boyfriend, and you didn’t want to sabotage it. If you had to, you supposed you could do it. Just once, as a favour.

Jennie, of course, understood immediately what you were trying to say. “That’s not your responsibility,” she said firmly. “If you don’t want to do it, it’s fine. I’m not going to force you or guilt you. Anything that happens to my relationship with Jongin-oppa is ours to deal with.”

After mulling over it for a moment, you gave her your answer. “Then I don’t want to,” you said, shrugging. “Sorry, unnie, but I don’t feel great about Jongin-ssi.”

“Yeah, I don’t blame you,” she muttered. “He was kind of weird the other night. I’ll talk to him about it, and try to find out why.” He wasn’t usually like this around people, years of idol training and living with others giving him great people skills most of the time. A conversation seemed necessary if she was going to keep the both of you in her life.

With her skincare routine done by the end of the conversation, she got into bed next to you and turned out the lights.

“Good night, unnie,” you mumbled, squirming closer to her for cuddles, which she gladly gave you.

-----------------------------------

Since you had expressed discomfort about being around Kai, and she knew you being around would only make him more insistent on ‘trying you out’, as he put it, she decided to go on dates with him without bringing you. This decision had a few implications – first, you ended up spending a lot more time separately, which meant you were hanging out with the other girls a lot more; second, Jennie’s dates with Kai grew shorter than they had been before since now that she was used to peeing in your mouth, she never wanted to go anywhere else.

It was this combination of factors that led to a slight strain in your relationship with her. She didn’t want to say she was jealous, because she wasn’t. She was pleased that you were becoming close with the other girls, especially Chaeyoung. It just stung sometimes. Even when she was home, there were times when you would be hanging out with the others instead of her, and you were less clingy too. Some people might think that was a good thing, but in all honesty, she’d liked clingy.

As your relationship with the other girls – and your friends-with-benefits thing with Chaeyoung – flourished, it seemed like Jennie’s with Kai was headed in the opposite direction. Having to rush home after sex because she didn’t want to use his toilet was becoming somewhat of a sore point, especially since she refused to bring you to their dates. He’d also thrown a fit when she told him you didn’t want to drink him, and it had led to one of their only fights throughout the entire duration of their relationship.

“Hey, did you ask Y/n yet?” he’d prompted almost the second she got into his car.

Jennie looked at him askance. The most perfunctory greeting kiss ever, and now this? What was with this obsession? “Yeah, she didn’t seem into it,” she said vaguely, hoping that he would take the hint and drop it.

“What?!” he exclaimed instead, sounding furious. Jennie sighed. Okay, it seemed they weren’t going to go the chill, reasonable route.

Turning to look at him, she said, “She doesn’t have to, you know.” Truth be told, she was kind of put off by his attitude. Ever since he’d met you, he’d been acting like this was owed to him. Just because she had a recycler didn’t mean she was obliged to share it with anyone.

“Yeah, but you let Chaeyoung-ssi use it,” he pointed out. “I’m your boyfriend; shouldn’t I get the same rights?”

She raised a brow. “Rights?” she asked. “Chaeyoung doesn’t have a right to use Y/n’s mouth as she pleases, you know. Y/n is very much a willing participant,” she said, slightly bitterly. Okay, maybe she was slightly put out by your blossoming relationship with her dongsaeng.

“You know what I mean,” he grumbled. “You could just make her do it.”

“Make her? I don’t make my recycler do anything she wants to do. She’s not my slave,” Jennie pointed out.

“That’s not what I meant! You’re always twisting my words!”

Needless to say, that night had not gone well. Kai was still slightly sulky about it, sometimes making snide remarks about you. Truth be told, this side of him was not one she’d seen before, and she didn’t like it. Even though recycler rights were sometimes controversial, among their circles most people agreed that recyclers deserved the same rights of freedom of choice as the general population. Kai’s revelation that he was apparently not one of them was turning out to be a problem, because she now felt responsible for protecting you from him.

She hoped that tonight’s date would go better, since they’d declared a moratorium on talking about you. All day, though, she’d had to endure the giggles and sidelong glances you’d shared with Chaeyoung, and she was pretty sure you were going to be up to no good while she was gone.

She was right. You saw her off graciously as always, giving her a hug at the front door and telling her you hoped she had a good time with Kai tonight, and that you would be waiting for her. The moment she left, though, you ran through the apartment straight into Chaeyoung’s room.

“Unnie!” you cried excitedly, throwing yourself on the bed so enthusiastically that you bounced.

Chaeyoung smiled at you. You weren’t dating, but you weren’t quite friends either, and she’d definitely grown very fond of you (and your mouth) over the couple of months that you’d been living in the dorm with her. Whenever Jennie was out without you, you’d come hang out with her, and by this point you had a pretty nice routine: you’d get delivery, then maybe watch a movie with the others before retiring back to her bedroom.

Tonight wasn’t any different, and you found yourself in the living room, eating fried chicken with the others while watching a movie. Chaeyoung was drinking a lot more water than usual, looking meaningfully over at you every time she reached for her glass. You knew this was in preparation for later, so you winked back at her every time.

All this flirting wasn’t lost on Lisa and Jisoo, and by the time the movie ended, the two of them grumbled good-naturedly about how they didn’t need to see all of this as they went back to their bedrooms. You and Chaeyoung giggled together as you bade them good night, knowing that they didn’t really mind it and were just teasing.

Once you were alone, Chaeyoung immediately took your hand and pulled you closer to her, going in for a kiss as your bodies collided. You slid your hands along her hips, groping her ass shamelessly.

“Mmm, we should probably take this back to my room before we get in trouble again for leaving fluids all over the living room,” she breathed against your lips. You couldn’t agree more and let her drag you into her room by your hand.

“Strip,” she ordered once the door was shut, already following her own instructions. You laughed at her enthusiasm even though you knew you would pay for it later, pulling your shirt over your head and shucking your shorts and underwear in one fell swoop. She did the same, and almost lunged for you.

“A little eager, aren’t we?” you teased even as you lay back on the bed.

“Shut up,” she growled. “I have to pee so bad, you don’t even know.”

“You were the one drinking all that water earlier,” you pointed out as she straddled your face. She was facing your body, so your face was basically in her butt. Not that you minded. It was a very pretty butt indeed. You wanted to squeeze it some more, but she was kneeling so that her legs were resting on your shoulders, restricting your movement.

“Don’t act like you don’t love drinking my piss,” she said, sounding strained as she looked down at you between her legs.

You winked at her from the gap between her thighs. “How could I even pretend? You’re so thoughtful, making all that delicious piss for me…” you breathed, a moment before she started peeing.

The first bit of it missed and glanced off your cheek, but you knew now that it was intentional. She loved watching the way her stream found its way into your mouth after first landing on your face somewhere, and you didn’t really mind either. The stream of dirty talk that she kept up the whole time was getting to you, and even as you gulped down her piss, your hips were rocking into the mattress slightly, seeking out that little bit of stimulation.

Chaeyoung noticed and leaned forward to pull your legs apart, which caused her pee to splash against your forehead instead. You made a noise of protest and she readjusted with a giggle, sinking a little lower so that her pussy was closer to your face.

“Mmm, it feels so good to pee for you, sweetie,” Chaeyoung groaned as the last of her urine dripped out.

“I’m glad you enjoy it, unnie,” you giggled. She widened her stance further to lower her pussy to you, and you eagerly started lapping at it. Meanwhile, she was holding your legs open and licked a broad stripe down your slit, from your clit to your tight, clenching hole.

“Mmf—” you let out a muffled groan into her slick flesh. She’d never done this before, and you were a huge fan. No wonder she got so crazy when you’d licked her for the first time.

You were busily eating each other to orgasm when the door swung open without any warning. At first, neither of you paid any heed, until you heard the disgusted exclamation coming from the entrance.

“My God!” Jennie cried out as she opened Chaeyoung’s bedroom door, only to come face to face with a more direct view of her member’s asshole than she’d ever wanted to see. Taking a step back, she turned away. “Y/n-ah, can you come here for a second?” she asked, directing her question at the hallway.

Now aggravated beyond all bearing, you groaned. “Unnie, can this please wait?” Not only were you busy, you really didn’t want to stop what you were doing right now to eat Kai’s creampie.

“No, it can’t,” she snapped, irritated. She’d been holding it since she left, and she needed to pee now. And how dare you talk back to her like that, anyway? Had you forgotten why you were even here to begin with?

“Fine,” you capitulated, sensing that this wasn’t the hill to die on. “Give me a minute, I’ll meet you in your room.”

With that, Jennie stalked off, and you sighed, tapping Chaeyoung’s hip to make her get off. “Sorry, unnie,” you apologized as you got up and started putting your clothes back on.

“It’s all right,” she excused graciously. “She seemed like she was in a mood, though. We might need to take a rain check.”

You pouted back at her as you started walking backwards towards the open door. “I don’t wanna,” you whined. “I’ll be right back?”

“Okay,” she chuckled, and you were on your way.

You arrived in the room you shared with Jennie to see her already pacing impatiently in front of the chair. “Hey, unnie,” you greeted as you sank to your knees to help her strip. You were obviously distracted and in a rush to get back to Chaeyoung, and moved quickly to get under the chair.

As Jennie sat down slowly, she caught a glimpse of your grimace, and anger flared through her, but first she needed to take care of her needs. Perhaps pettily, she sat without care and started peeing even before she was sure that you were in position, causing you to have to squirm under her to prevent a huge mess.

When she was done, you licked her clean as quickly as you could, and she felt a stab of irritation – she refused to acknowledge it as jealousy – that you could eat Chaeyoung out so enthusiastically but were now so reluctant to even clean her up. She stood up and scowled down at you as you got out from under the chair.

“What’s wrong with you today?” she asked snippily. Perhaps not the best way to start this conversation, but she was too angry to care.

You looked up at her in surprise. “Nothing, why?” you asked. If anything, you thought, you should be the one who was annoyed. You didn’t know what it was, but she’d been so eager that she’d started even before you were in the right position, and there was urine all over your face and neck, some even dripping into your hair.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed you giving me an attitude,” she accused. “Every time I come back from Kai’s you act like this. I’m sorry if you dislike my boyfriend—” her tone of voice was most decidedly not sorry “—but you’re being so unreasonable! What are you, jealous?”

Your temper flared for the first time since you’d been living here. “Jealous?!” you scoffed. “Of your relationship with that ignorant manchild? I don’t think so. Sorry,” you sneered, turning it back onto her, “that I don’t like to eat Kai’s cum out of your pussy every time you fuck him. I’m your recycler, but I don’t need to be treated like that.”

With that, you stormed off to wash her piss off your face and body from where it had trickled before you’d managed to get your mouth firmly over her. Jennie, on the other hand, lay on the bed, feeling incredibly guilty for blowing up at you just now. She hoped you’d come back soon so that she could have a proper conversation with you about just now.

------------------------------

You ended up spending the whole night with Chaeyoung. Even though you weren’t exactly in the mood to continue your exploits with her after your fight with Jennie, she was happy to welcome you into her room and gave you lots of cuddles, letting you rant patiently until you wore yourself out and fell asleep.

In the morning, you were still reluctant to leave the room and face Jennie, preferring to continue sulking in Chaeyoung’s bed. Unfortunately, nature called, and she dragged you out of the room for breakfast. You were surprised to see that Jennie was already in the living room, and when she saw you walking out, she immediately stood up and called your name. “Y/n, can we talk?”

Not in the mood to be reamed out again first thing in the morning, you responded coolly. “I’m hungry, can this wait until after breakfast?”

Chaeyoung, standing behind you, nudged you. She could see in Jennie’s expression and body language how much the fight with her recycler had bothered her and felt kind of bad for her even though she did think that Jennie had been out of line in what she’d said to you last night.

“Fine,” you grumbled.

“Thank you,” Jennie said quietly before turning and walking into her room. You followed, closing the door behind you but standing right in front of it.

“Y/n-ie, please,” Jennie pouted at you, patting the bed next to her. Obviously, you couldn’t resist that look, so with a put-upon sigh, you crossed the room to sit next to her.

“I’m sorry about last night,” she said. The unexpected apology threw you for a loop, and you blinked at her, speechless. “I shouldn’t have said those things and accused you. That was rude of me.”

“Uhh…” you managed to get out, sounding, of course, like the most articulate genius who had ever roamed this earth.

“And I’m sorry for getting in the way of your, um… relations with Chaeng. I should have been more respectful, and I support your relationship.”

“We’re not in a relationship,” you murmured. It was the only thing your mind could focus on at the moment.

“You’re not?” Jennie blinked.

“No, we’re just, um… friends with benefits, I guess,” you clarified.

“Oh.” Then, after a beat of silence, “Well, it’s none of my business anyway. I just want you to know that I think you deserve your privacy, and I was really rude last night.”

Feeling bad now, you reached over to take her hand. “Unnie, don’t say that. Of course it’s your business. You’re still my donator and I want us to be close too. I promise to be more open about it with you, okay?”

She made a face. “Not that open, I hope. I’m still traumatized from seeing Chaeng naked.”

You giggled. “You’ve lived together for years! You don’t mean to tell me you’ve never seen her naked before?”

“I never had to stare straight up her asshole before,” Jennie countered, causing the both of you to erupt in fits of laughter.

“Duly noted,” you conceded past giggles. “You seemed like you were in a bad mood last night too, unnie. Is everything going okay with you and Kai?” you asked with some concern.

She made a face. “It’s okay. He’s just having trouble adjusting to me having a recycler,” she explained. Last night they’d gotten into yet another argument over you – specifically, over her refusal to simply command you to get on your knees and drink his piss just because he wanted it. She didn’t quite understand why it was so hard for him to accept that you were a person, and she wasn’t about to force you to do anything you didn’t want to do.

Almost against her will, she started comparing Kai to you, even though she knew that was an unwise idea that was sure to have no good consequences. You, who was always there for her with your big eyes and big smile and a hug every time she felt bad, who knew the best and worst parts of her and didn’t shy away. It was unreasonable for her to expect the same of Kai, who was busy all the time with his own career and who obviously wasn’t as comfortable with her body as you were.

“I’m sorry I’m causing problems in your relationship, unnie,” you said, your eyes filled with remorse.

“No, it’s not your fault,” she rushed to assure you, pulling you into a hug. “He’s just being a dick right now.”

“I’m sorry for being mean last night too, unnie,” you apologized, looking at her with those wide, sad eyes that she couldn’t resist.

“It’s okay, baby, and I’m sorry I didn’t realize how unpleasant that whole experience was for you,” she said, making a little face. It hadn’t even occurred to her, but now that she thought about it, she realized how it would have been pretty gross for you, especially if you didn’t particularly like Kai. “I’ll talk to him about it to figure something out, okay?”

Your face was buried in her neck, but she felt your nod anyway.

---------------------------------

Perhaps she should have expected that the demise of her relationship would come soon after she started comparing you with Kai in her head. After all, there was no way he could have won that competition, even if he’d been the nicest man alive – which he definitely wasn’t.

Still, she hadn’t expected her relationship to end quite so soon and so abruptly. Sitting in the driver’s seat of her car in the basement carpark of Kai’s private apartment, she was crying too hard to be able to drive safely.

The night had started relatively well – Kai was on his best behavior after their fight the other night, and they’d had a nice dinner together. After that, however, when they retired to the bedroom, was when things started going downhill. Out of consideration to you, Jennie had brought a box of condoms that she tried to convince Kai to use, and he didn’t take it well, to say the least.

“What is this? Are you accusing me of something? We haven’t used condoms in months!” he said irritably, knocking the box out of her hands.

“Oppa, please, it’s not like that!” she pleaded.

“Then what is it? Are you off birth control?” he demanded.

“No… the IUD is still in,” she said meekly. YG had made them all get them before debut so that they wouldn’t accidentally get pregnant, even if they were having secret relationships.

“Then tell me why!”

“Why does there have to be a reason?! Isn’t it enough that I want you to use them? It’s my body too!” she yelled, getting defensive.

“I’m not saying no, I just want to know why!” he rebutted.

“Fine,” she said, her shoulders slumping slightly. “Y/n doesn’t like it when you leave your load inside me. It drips out after and she doesn’t like how it tastes.” She’d been hoping that the explanation would be enough, and they could get on with their night, but he grew even more angry at hearing the reason.

“Y/n?!” He exploded. “Who the fuck cares what she thinks? She’s your recycler, for God’s sake, not your girlfriend!”

“Oppa, please, she’s still my responsibility and we’re going to be together for a long time! I just don’t want to make her upset!”

“No, you don’t, so you’d rather sacrifice our relationship!”

“Our relationship? Oppa, please be reasonable, it’s just one little thing!”

He stopped short and looked at her somberly. “It’s not,” he told her. “You’re literally putting your recycler above me, above our relationship. You think her happiness is more important than mine.”

“It’s not! Oppa, please!” she begged, tears in her eyes.

“If you insist on the condoms… we’re over, Jennie-yah. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t prioritize me in her life.”

The ultimatum took her aback, and she stared at him with wide eyes for a minute, silently begging him to take it back, to explain that he’d just said that in the heat of the moment, and he didn’t actually want to end their relationship. But he didn’t, sitting down heavily on the bed instead and looking away from her.

Sadly, she began to collect her things from the room. “I didn’t want it to end like this, oppa,” she said softly.

“I know.” That was the last thing he said before she left.

With her vision still blurry from the tears, Jennie fumbled in her bag in the passenger seat to get her phone. She needed to hear your voice.

“Hello?” You picked up almost immediately, having had your phone next to you while you ate with Chaeyoung and Jisoo. Lisa was at the studio again practicing for a dance shoot. “Unnie? What’s up?”

Jennie sniffled. Hearing that, your mind shot into overdrive. “Unnie? Are you okay? Are you crying? Where are you?”

Right. Words were necessary. “We broke up,” was all she could say, though.

It was enough. You stood up so quickly that both Jisoo and Chaeyoung looked over with concern. “What? Are you still at his place?”

Jennie nodded, then realized you couldn’t see it. “Carpark,” she confirmed. “Can’t drive.”

“Okay, you just wait there, okay, unnie? We’ll come get you,” you assured her.

“Okay,” she sniffled, but didn’t want to hang up. “Y/n-ie? Can you stay on the phone?”

“Of course,” you promised. “Just give me a sec, okay?” She put the phone down and quickly explained what was going on to Jisoo and Chaeyoung, then the three of them got up and drove over to Kai’s apartment complex. On the way, you stayed on the phone with Jennie, continuing to talk to her about nothing while she just listened, letting you distract her.

You had some trouble with the security at the building, since of course they weren’t about to let some random people into the apartment complex, but since both Chaeyoung and Jisoo were in the car, they figured nothing bad could happen and finally let you in after you promised that you were just there to pick up someone.

It wasn’t difficult to spot Jennie’s car in the parking lot, since it was fairly empty, and you got out of the car and sprinted to her, pulling open the door on the driver’s side and peering in. Jennie was hunched forward, her hands grasping the top of the steering wheel and her forehead resting on her hands, and she turned to look up at you when she heard the door open.

“Y/n-ie—” she managed to get out, before bursting into tears again.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” you soothed, leaning in to give her an awkward hug and stroking her back. “Let’s get into the backseat, okay? Jisoo-unnie can drive your car home.”

Sniffling, Jennie nodded, climbing out of the driver’s seat and into the back. You followed after her, shutting the door, and Jennie immediately lay down with her head in your lap.

As you stroked her hair, Jisoo got into the driver’s seat and turned on the engine, starting the drive home. Chaeyoung followed in her own car.

Jennie continued crying for a while, then seemed to fall into a light doze while you draped your arm around her. You had to wake her up to get her back into the apartment, but you hadn’t let go of her the entire time, offering support and physical comfort where words failed you.

------------------------------------

Over the next few days, all the girls seemed to coalesce around Jennie, giving her hugs and making sure she was eating and drinking. The difficult part about being an idol was that even though she felt like shit about her breakup, she still had to go to fan meetings, interviews and events, acting like she was happy and chipper and that nothing was wrong.

It was during those times that she sought your support the most. You were always there in the wings or in the audience, milling around with the staff and sending her encouraging smiles and gestures whenever you saw her looking at you. During breaks and between commitments, you would always be by her side, holding her hand or giving her cute hugs and telling her what a great job she was doing.

Even as time passed and she started to get better, she continued to rely on your encouragement, which you eagerly gave. Your relationship grew closer than ever, and Jennie would have been pleased if she hadn’t been so confused. She’d initially wanted a recycler for the sisterly relationship she thought she could foster, but even though you were doing all the things she’d expected and hoped for, she didn’t think of you as a sister.

Instead, she found herself looking at you while you were doing other things, admiring the way your lashes rested against your cheekbones and the focused furrow of your brow. The times of day when she would seek you out because she had to pee became her favourite, purely because she had your entire attention.

Okay, that was a lie. She was starting to love the inherent eroticism of the act, even though that had never been something she’d considered before. The feeling of your lips caressing her slit, your eyes looking up at her with such joy and devotion even as she was peeing in your mouth, the conscientious way you always licked her clean after… she hoped you weren’t noticing the way she would bite her lip when she felt your ministrations on her.

Once, on a really hard day when she’d been at an awards show that included EXO, you’d been extra sweet to her when she decided she couldn’t take it and excused herself to go to the restroom. You’d found her in a deserted corridor, pacing around with her hands on her hips.

“Unnie?” you called, skipping over to her. “You okay?”

“Oh,” she relaxed as she looked up and saw you. “Yeah, I’m fine, sweetie. Just a little stressed out from everything.”

Reaching her, you gave her a hug that she gratefully sank into. “I’m sorry, unnie. Just a little longer, okay? Fighting!”

Pulling back to look her in the face, you were surprised when she instead leaned over to press a kiss to your forehead. “You’re always so good to me, Y/n-ie.”

You giggled bashfully. “It’s the least I could do, unnie. You’re always so thoughtful of me! I just want to make you happy too.”

Your cuteness made her want to hug you more tightly, but the urgent needs of her body had to take precedence for now. She let you go and pulled back, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. Stress drinking water was really not the way to go when at an awards show, she admonished herself.

“You look like you’re in a bit of a state there, unnie,” you teased even as you dropped to your knees in front of her.

“Oh, shut up,” she groaned, leaning against the wall and throwing her head back as you pulled her panties and safety shorts down. The short dress she was wearing may look impractical, but it was actually immensely helpful for situations such as this.

“It’s okay, unnie,” you soothed as you stroked her hip, shuffling closer. “I’ve got you,” you said right before pressing your lips to her pussy, your mouth open to catch her urine.

The feeling of your soft, warm lips on her pussy and the tender, reassuring words you said right before you put them there was almost too much for Jennie, and she had to close her eyes to regain composure before she did something ridiculous like try to grind her clit against your face. Focus, she reminded herself sternly. She wasn’t going to be one of those donators who exploited her recycler, someone who was in a position completely dependent on her.

By this point, peeing in your mouth was as natural to Jennie as using a toilet had been in the past, and it didn’t take any effort at all for her to start the stream. She let out a big sigh of relief as pee started jetting out of her. She’d really had to go, and the feeling of letting it out was almost euphoric, making her shudder with how good it felt.

Your gaze drifted up to her face, her brow slightly furrowed and her mouth open as she continued peeing in your mouth. You were gulping it down as quickly as possible, trying desperately to keep up with her stream, but you couldn’t help but notice how sexy she looked like that. You could almost imagine her making that face for a different reason, and slightly embarrassed at the direction that your thoughts had taken, you lowered your gaze once again.

As you did so, Jennie opened her eyes and looked down at you, struck by the view. You looked completely focused on your task of drinking the pee she’d held in her body for so many hours. Was there a purer expression of devotion, of care, than this? The last of her pee drained out of her into your mouth, and you smiled up at her before licking her clean.

This time, you took extra care to get every bit, swirling your tongue gently as you lapped at her core. When you were done, you pressed tender, wet kisses to either side of her, then one directly over her clit, gazing up at her as you did so. She definitely deserved a little bit more love today. Kai had been staring at her the entire time, and you knew she was stressed.

When you were done, you helped her back into her clothes silently. “Shall we head back, unnie?” you asked with a smile.

“You go ahead,” she demurred. “I need a minute before I can go back in there.” She intentionally phrased it so you’d think she was talking about Kai, and you squeezed her arm sympathetically before leaving her, licking your lips clean as you went.

When she thought about what she’d done next instead, she still flushed. Instead of cooling off, she all but ran into the restroom down the hall, a room she’d honestly thought she’d never have to set foot in again, and had her hand in her panties the moment the stall door clanged shut. With one hand frigging herself desperately and the other covering her mouth to make sure no errant noises escaped, she brought herself to a hasty, unfulfilling orgasm. It didn’t matter, though. It was enough to cool her blood for the time being.

After washing her hands and cleaning up, Jennie returned to the awards ceremony, where Jisoo immediately draped an arm around her shoulders and started stroking her hair comfortingly. You must have told the other girls that she’d been having a hard time with Kai here, she thought. She appreciated your concern, but it really made things all the more awkward for her when instead of freaking out about it, she’d been off masturbating to the thought of you drinking her piss and eating her out.

The situation eventually grew more serious, to the point that Jennie was sure she was doing a piss-poor (ha) job at keeping it a secret. How was she supposed to get her head on straight when you literally had your mouth on her cunt multiple times every day?

---------------------------------

You could, in fact, confirm that Jennie wasn’t keeping her growing attraction to you under wraps. It wasn’t her fault – she couldn’t exactly help the fact that she was often wet when you got on your knees from her. You could literally see the arousal shining on her pussy before she covered your face with it, and the way the slick smeared on your face was kind of a dead giveaway.

Still, you didn’t say or do anything because you didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, trusting that she would speak up if she wanted to. It would only make things awkward if you pushed her before she was ready. After all, if she turned you down or denied it, you’d still be stuck to her 24/7, for the foreseeable future.

No, it was better for things to remain the way things were, you determined.

Despite your better judgement, however, you were still a little shit at heart and took pleasure in riling Jennie up and possibly hinting to her that you’d be open to a development in your relationship. You were getting increasingly bold with the liberties you took under the guise of ‘cleaning her’, sometimes even giving her clit a naughty little suck just to ‘get it all out’, or sliding your tongue so deep along her slit that you could taste her arousal.

She never broke though, even though you could feel the minute movements sometimes as she rocked her hips slightly in response to your ministrations, and she often ran off right after getting up off your face, probably to masturbate somewhere. Every time she did, you’d sigh and lick your lips clean, wishing she would let you help with that too.

Chaeyoung, predictably enough, found the whole thing hilarious. Having a front-row seat to your mutual crushes on each other was seriously top-notch entertainment, she thought, especially since you were both so utterly oblivious about your feelings. As your feelings for Jennie grew, you stopped seeking Chaeyoung out for sex, and your relationship instead mellowed into a tightly knit friendship. There were no hard feelings on either side, since Chaeyoung had mostly been in it for the sex anyway. Being a gay idol was really hard, and you’d provided physical and emotional support for a period of time.

These days, you mostly hid in Chaeyoung’s bed to whine about Jennie and cuddled her when she felt like she would never find a girlfriend, given the restrictions on her life as long as she was an idol. Jennie, however, didn’t know that, and increasingly was filled with jealousy whenever you disappeared to look for Chaeyoung. Once, when she’d seen pictures of a wedding between two of her cheer teammates, you’d ended up spending the whole night with her as she cried.

Jennie tried to be understanding – she knew that she didn’t own you, and that Chaeyoung was clearly going through something. But she was going through something too, god dammit, and she wished you would cuddle her and kiss her forehead and tell her it was all going to be okay the way you did with Chaeyoung sometimes on the couch.

Well, it would be difficult for you to do that with her since her issue was that she was falling for you, but still.

Chaeyoung was fully aware of Jennie’s jealousy, too. It wasn’t like she was even trying to be subtle about it, looking over and sighing or pouting whenever she saw the two of you wrapped up cozily together.

Eventually, when it got boring for Chaeyoung to deal with the longing, sidelong glances and wistful sighs, she finally decided to talk to Jennie about you.

Predictably enough, Jennie was reluctant, but Chaeyoung had, by this point, had years of experience prying secrets out of her older member, and was now adept at it. Call her the Jennie whisperer, she thought to herself as she invited Jennie for coffee, just the two of them, like they’d used to as trainees when Lisa and Jisoo were off doing whatever it was the two of them did alone.

Sipping her iced coffee, Chaeyoung eyed Jennie, noting the sadness she thought she was hiding as she stirred the sugar into her drink. “Unnie, are you okay? You just seem really down lately,” she prompted the older girl.

Jennie looked up in surprise, then relaxed. “Oh, it’s nothing. It’s just Kai, y’know?”

“Unnie, that was months ago! What’s really bothering you?” Chaeyoung pressed.

Abruptly becoming defensive, Jennie’s shoulders drew up around her shoulders. “Nothing’s bothering me,” she said.

“All right,” Chaeyoung accepted, though it was clear from her raised brow that she didn’t believe her. “I’m glad we got to do this, unnie,” she continued with a smile. “We never get to spend time together anymore, just the two of us.”

“That’s true,” Jennie agreed. “We’re always so busy these days…”

“Yeah, and Y/n is always hanging around you too…”

It was like a cloud abruptly formed over Jennie’s head when she heard your name. “She’s not always hanging around me,” she muttered with some bitterness. Sometimes she was spending time with Chaeyoung, after all. It was just a little bit annoying for the person who’d been stealing time with her own recycler to be saying that.

“Unnie, come on! She never leaves your side,” Chaeyoung laughed. She was intentionally goading Jennie, but the older girl seemed to be falling for it hook, line and sinker without even realizing that she was being played.

“That is so not true,” Jennie huffed. Her jealousy got the better of her, and she snapped, “She’s always hanging around you these days.”

A beat of silence, then Chaeyoung said with delight, “Unnie, are you jealous?”

“What? N-no!” Jennie denied, flustered now. “Why would I be jealous? She’s just my recycler. She can sleep with whoever she wants.”

“Wait, who said anything about sleeping together? I thought we were talking about just hanging out.”

“We were, I mean—oh, fuck.” Caught red-handed, Jennie slumped miserably onto the table in front of her, hiding her face from her dongsaeng.

“You know, you should really just talk to her,” Chaeyoung said, uncaring of Jennie’s dramatics.

“I can’t,” Jennie protested, her voice muffled. “I have to be responsible for her. She’s going to think that I’m trying to pressure her.”

“Unless…” Chaeyoung trailed off, and Jennie raised her head to look at her.

“Unless?” she asked.

Chaeyoung winked. “Maybe she feels the same way about you.”

-------------------------------

Now that Chaeyoung had planted that thought in her mind, Jennie couldn’t stop thinking about it. She saw hints of it in the way you happily ran to give her a hug when she came home, the way you snuggled up to her at night, and in all the thoughtful little gestures that showed how much attention you paid to her. You brought her snacks and water during her meets and shoots when they ran overtime, and always encouraged her during practice and recording sessions.

As much as she tried not to overthink it, it was impossible not to read into the little ways you made her feel special especially when you were drinking from her. The cozy way your face nestled into her ass when she sat on the chair, or the almost reverent, worshipful way you looked up at her when she stood over you, the way you licked her clean so slowly and thoroughly that there was no way you were oblivious to how wet she became, and those sweet, soft kisses you’d taken to littering on her pussy when you were done licking her.

There was no way you’d do all that unless you felt some type of way for her, right?

Despite Chaeyoung’s intervention and her own increasing desire for more between the two of you, it actually took a rather embarrassing mistake on her part to force her hand.

Since she’d broken up with Kai, she’d entered somewhat of a sex drought, which meant it was easier than ever for you to turn her on, something you took pleasure in doing, especially at home on days when she didn’t have any schedules. She knew this, and yet she could never bring herself to stop you by getting up before you were done ‘cleaning’ her, always hungry for more.

On this particular day, your face was under her on the chair when she made the mistake of looking down at you between her legs. She could only see the lower half of your face, of course, yet the sight of your tongue so eager to please was definitely her new kryptonite, she decided on the spot. As you licked a stripe from her clit to her asshole, she shuddered and let out a soft moan, rolling her hips slightly to get more friction.

A second later, she paused and stiffened, hoping that you hadn’t heard that.

Unfortunately, from your giggle, she knew that was not the case, and started to rise, intending to beat a hasty retreat. Before she could get up, however, your arms shot out, grabbing her by the hips. “Unnie,” you whined.

“Y-Y/n,” she stammered, trying harder to shake off your grasp and stand up. Eventually, you let her, but when she turned back to look at you, you were pouting up at her through the hole in the seat.

“Unnie, don’t you want me to finish?” you asked.

“You— I— what?” Reduced to stammering now, she started backing away from you, and you hastily got out from under the seat to sit on the ground.

“I mean, I knew that you were liking it more than you wanted to admit,” you told her, your eyes wide with sincerity. “I don’t mind helping you out, you know.”

“But… but Chaeyoung…” Jennie was grasping at straws now.

You shrugged. “We haven’t slept together in months, unnie. I want this,” you said, leaning forward. “If you’re okay with it, that is.”

“Wait… what is it you want exactly?” She didn’t think she could handle just being friends with benefits with you, even if her libido was screaming at her to take what she could get.

“I want to be your recycler… friend… girlfriend, if you want…?” You peeked up at her from under your lashes, nervous now from laying all your cards on the table.

“Really?” She knelt on the floor to look you in the eye properly. “You really want that? You’re not just saying it because you think I do?”

“You do?” Surprise coloured your tone. “I thought you were just horny after your breakup.”

Jennie flushed. “Well, I mean, there is that,” she coloured. “But no… I really do have feelings for you. It’s probably part of why my relationship with Jongin-oppa didn’t work out.”

You giggled. “Well, if you don’t mind… I’d love to give this a shot,” you confessed.

“I would love that too,” Jennie breathed, leaning in to kiss you, because she needed to occupy her mouth with something before she blurted out something stupid, like that she loved you.

To her surprise and displeasure, however, you leaned back when it became clear what she was trying to do. “Wait, wait! Don’t you want me to brush my teeth or something?” you asked, clapping a hand over your mouth.

She laughed. “I don’t care, silly,” she said, pulling you closer with a hand on the nape of your neck. With that out of the way, you eagerly draped your arms around her neck and pulled her close for a kiss. It was soft and sweet and everything you’d dreamed of with her… until she broke away to pull you to her bed.

“Moving a little fast there, aren’t you, unnie?” you giggled as she straddled you. She hadn’t put her clothes back on, so she was wearing only a shirt.

“You’ve been teasing me for months,” she complained as she leaned down to kiss you again, this one deeper and filthier, leaving you breathless.

“Fair enough,” you said, letting her pull your shirt off. You retaliated by stripping hers off too, and then she shuffled down to take care of your shorts and panties. “What do you want to do?”

She moved with a sense of purpose and drive that indicated she’d thought about this a lot, shuffling up to your face and straddling it, facing your body. Leaning forward, she pulled your legs apart and ran her fingers along your soaked slit before raising her fingers to her mouth. “I’ve wanted to do this since I saw Chaeng on top of you,” she growled before lowering her pussy to your face.

You ate her out ravenously, excited after all those months of stolen moments where you gradually pushed the limits to see where she would draw the line. You already knew how she tasted, but you wanted her to use you for her pleasure, grind on your face and moan and scream when you made her feel good.

Diligently, you lapped at her clit, experimenting with different strokes and speeds until you found one that seemed to make her go crazy. She dropped her head, pressing her cheek to your thigh for a few seconds before regaining composure and redoubling her efforts to make you cum. Of course, this was a competition she was bound to lose, since you’d had a head start earlier.

“Unnie, your cunt tastes so good,” you moaned into her core between the sucking and licking. “Your piss is so fucking tasty too, I love it.”

Your nasty words spurred her on, and she ground her pussy against your face, groaning at the stimulation on her clit. “Fuck, you feel so good,” she huffed, forgetting about your pleasure as she chased her own relentlessly. “Such a nasty little slut for me, aren’t you?”

Since it didn’t seem like she had the bandwidth to, you took over stimulating yourself, rubbing at your clit with your fingers. “Yeah, I’m your dirty slut, unnie,” you gasped, before sucking her clit into your mouth and flicking it with your tongue repeatedly. The movement sent her stratospheric and she cried out as she came, gushing cream straight into your mouth.

“Oh, God,” she exhaled shakily when it was over, lifting herself off your face. “You’re such a good girl,” she praised, her fingers sliding along your cunt again and knocking your hand out of the way as she began fingering you in earnest, wanting to pay you back for the orgasm you’d just gifted her.

“Ah, unnie,” you moaned, your hips rising off the bed as you chased her touch. “That feels so good, yes, yes—” Your eyes closed, and you gasped, small, choked cries leaving your mouth as you came, clenching down on her fingers. She worked you diligently through it, only pulling her hand away when you started to make small noises of pain as overstimulation set in.

“That was so good, unnie,” you said in a soft, tired voice as she collapsed on the bed next to you. Pulling her close, you nuzzled your nose against hers.

“Likewise,” she smiled before her lips met yours in a kiss, this one chaste and sweet after your mutual lust had been slaked.

“Thank you for giving us a shot,” you murmured, closing your eyes in contentment.

“No,” she corrected you, wrapping her arms around you. “Thank you for being mine.”

You knew what she meant, and your lips lifted in a small smile. You would always be hers, and she would never forget to appreciate it. Neither of you were willing to call it love yet, but you knew that would come. There was no rush – you were her recycler, you’d always be together.

[jeremystrele]

Connecting With The Past + Grappling With History, With Painter Mia Boe

Connecting With The Past + Grappling With History, With Painter Mia Boe

Studio Visit

by Sasha Gattermayr

Mia’s new Brunswick studio is filled with light, and is the perfect space to continue on her growing portfolio of work. Photo  – Amelia Stanwix for The Design Files.

A painting from her recent catalogue sits on the mantle. Photo  – Amelia Stanwix for The Design Files.

Butchalla-Burmese artist Mia Boe in her light-filled studio. Photo  – Amelia Stanwix for The Design Files.

Mia paints full time and volunteers for The Torch in her spare time. Photo  – Amelia Stanwix for The Design Files.

One of Mia’s works in progress.

Mia’s paintings are vibrant and narrative-driven, which means she does a lot of her own historical research. Photo  – Amelia Stanwix for The Design Files.

Left: Mia is inspired by figures in art history like Albert Namatjira, Sidney Nolan and Russell Drysdale; and figures from history such as Eliza Fraser, Ned Kelly and the Queensland Native Police. Photo  – Amelia Stanwix for The Design Files. Right: ‘Stripes 3’ by Mia Boe.

A selection of work Mia recently sold in her latest catalogue and has prepared for prize entries. Photo  – Amelia Stanwix for The Design Files.

Her elongated, distended figures are always in the landscape and often accompanied by food, animals or spirits. Photo  – Amelia Stanwix for The Design Files.

You can see the Sidney Nolan influence in this composition! Photo  – Amelia Stanwix for The Design Files.

The historical and contemporaneous imprisonment of First Nations people is a continuous theme in Mia’s work. Patterns and vibrant colour create tension between the political context and the composition.

Watching Mia Boe’s rise to cult status is almost giving me whiplash. The Brisbane-raised, Melbourne-based artist has grown a dedicated following in the 18 months since she’s really begun concentrating on her painting – and it’s only going up. To give you an indication of just how devoted her audience are, her recent catalogue of nine paintings sold out in under two minutes.

Mia studied art history before last year, when Melbourne’s sweeping lockdowns gave her the time (and a good excuse!) to focus on her art. But it’s not just Instagram fans who are hot on her tail. With a residency at the Museum of Brisbane, commissions for Craft Victoria and Brisbane’s Institute of Modern Art, two group shows and a solo exhibition (titled Black Devil) at Open Space Collective under her belt since the beginning of 2020, it’s evident that Mia has well and truly caught the attention of the nation’s arts community.

But the institutions aren’t everything. When she’s not painting, Mia volunteers at The Torch – an organisation that aids First Nations prisoners and ex-prisoners with their art practices.

Art is the past, present and future for Mia – storytelling is her mode of being. Hear it in her own words.

How did you arrive at your current painting style? Has it evolved slowly over time or always been somewhat similar?

One clear continuity in my style has been that I tend to populate my landscapes with strangely elongated figures, whose bodies are also sometimes bloated and distended. I guess also that female figures in my work are representations, approximately, of myself, so a lot of my works could also function as self-portraits. But when I start a painting, I’m not always conscious of who the figure is, though if I’m painting black figures, they’re probably members of my family.

Also, I sometimes add larger figures with little detail, or floating in the landscape — these figures are representations of spirits. They represent family members that have died, and are a marker of the family that I will never get to know because of the repercussions of colonisation. I also try and experiment with colour: inspired by the ubiquitous blues of Robert Owen’s recent exhibition at Heide, I’ve recently been trying to control and limit my palette.

Do you use your art to connect with history or grapple with it?

Probably a bit of both. I’m especially interested in the histories of my family’s cultural heritages. My mum is a descendent of the Butchulla people, but she was only told by my grandmother that she was Aboriginal when she was in her teens (my grandmother was worried she’d have her children taken away from her if she was open about it). My Dad moved to Australia as a refugee from Burma when he was a young child.

My art practice has allowed me to research these twin histories, and to track the consequences of British colonisation in both Australia and Burma. (Burmese historian Thant Myint-U’s recent The Hidden History of Burma is an amazing book for people interested in learning more about Burma.) I hope soon to be able to spend some time looking at concrete connections between the colonial occupations of Australia and Burma. Empire, after all, makes the world smaller — it’s big project, I think, is to remake the margins in the image of the centre — so I’m sure there are some connections to be found (white officers, for instance, might have trained in Burma before coming to Australia, or vice versa).

Anyway, I definitely use my art to think through history: sometimes head-on, sometimes obliquely.

How do you involve historical references in your pieces?

I make sure that I’ve done proper research into a subject before making work about historical events. At the start of the year I showed my first exhibition in Brisbane. It was called Black Devil, and the works responded, from multiple angles, to the history of the Queensland Native Police: an exterminationist outfit which consisted of Aboriginal troopers led by white officers, and which aimed to wipe out resistance to colonisation.

The Native Police was active from 1848 to c. 1905 and were estimated to have killed over 44,000 Murris in those 50+ years. The fact that many of the massacres of Aboriginal people were carried out by Aboriginal troopers, who were themselves often kidnapped as boys, and barracked hundreds of kilometres from their kin and ancestral lands, pointed up for me the ongoing violence and infernal strategies of division which colonialism employs.

During research for this exhibition I found out that my ancestor, my great-great-grand uncle Wonamutta, a Butchulla man from K’gari (Fraser Island), was a trooper in the police force. Apart from his postings around the state, he was also seconded to the Victorian Police, where he helped to track down Ned Kelly (that’s where the exhibition’s title comes from — Kelly called the black trackers on his trail ‘black devils’).

Out of this discovery I got interested in Sidney Nolan. Two of Nolan’s most famous preoccupations were [Fraser Island’s namesake] Eliza Fraser and Ned Kelly. Nolan didn’t see these figures as related, and yet in an eerie way I think they were: Wonamutta, whose country was re-named by Europeans after Eliza Fraser, was also the man who caught Ned Kelly. So through thinking about this personal history, and the random but weird connections it disclosed, I came to envision my exhibition as also responding to Nolan’s own practice. It was a art show about history, but also about the history of art.

Do you have any key references or inspirations?

Some abiding influences for me have been Albert Namatjira and Russell Drysdale. Namatjira looms especially large: because of his tragic life story, his amazing colours. The William Dargie portrait of him which hangs in the Queensland Art Gallery, and the Noel Counihan linocut, which shows Namatjira crucified, are some really important images for me.

Drysdale matters for me because of the colours of his burnt-out backgrounds and those extraordinary gaunt figures idling about in them. His representations of Aboriginal people are very respectful and moving.

Other artists who are key points of departure for me are the contemporary South African artist Marlene Dumas, and Bill Traylor who was a self-taught artist born into slavery.

What does art-making mean to you?

On an individual level, my art allows me to recover and remake the cultural heritages which were stolen from me. And I hope in this process that I remind people (even as I learn myself) about the forgotten pasts which shape everyday life in the present.

Mia is represented by Sunday Salon. Learn more about her practice here. Mia’s next exhibition will be at Milani Gallery from 4th – 25th September.

[cursebreaker-lilith]

I only posted her original profile in September, but I’ve changed some stuff and wanted to do a new drawing. Lili was pretty new to me then, and I’ve found her voice a lot more since so it only felt right to have a do over on her profile.

This is all up to the beginning of year 6.

EDIT: Some formatting changes made 5-12-21

BASICS

Name: Lilith Silvia Vesta Brooks

Nicknames: Lili, Pipsqueak, Pip

Name Meaning: Lilith references a figure from Jewish folklore, Silvia comes from her grandmother’s name and references a figure from Roman mythology, Vesta was also chosen by her grandmother and references the Roman goddess of the hearth.

Gender: Cis Female 

Pronouns: She/Her

Age: 16 (Variable depending on what year I’m writing about)

Birthday: October 19th, 1972

Zodiac: Libra

Blood Status: Half-blood

Ethnicity/Nationality: White Brit

Sexuality: Self identifies primarily with queer but is okay with being called bisexual. Is also probably on both the asexual and aromantic spectrum, but the words for them hadn’t been coined in her time period. 

Appearance

Body:

Height: 165cm / 5′5

Build: Average to stocky, hourglass shape

Eyes: A bright yellow-green, noticeably a bit big and round.

Hair: Pale blonde hair that is very thin and fine. She likes doing it up in different ways, from ponytails, to pigtails, to braids. Right before starting her 6th year, she cut her hair short and permed it on an impulse encouraged by her Muggle friends.

Skin: Pale skin that burns easily but quickly fades into a tan

Misc: Small and usually unnoticeable scars scattered across her hands and face from ice in the Ice Vault that will fade wholly with time (most already have by 6th year). Pierced ears--one in each lobe as a teenager but adds more as an adult.

Material Items:

Clothing: As a young child, she tried to keep up with mainstream Muggle fashion. She preferred lots of bright colors, stripes, gaudy jewelry, and scrunchies. Dear lord she loves scrunchies. As she got older however, she began to phase out of the bright colors and mainstream fashion into something which would soon be called grunge. Not completely grunge however as she still loves her statement earrings and scrunchies. Usually wears baggy/non form fitting clothing.

Accessories: Almost always wearing some sort of dangly and obnoxious statement earrings. Always has at least three scrunchies on her person.

In her school bag: Her wand, at least five scrunchies, school books and papers, books Rowan wants her to read, an old crochet penguin for good luck (her first attempt at crochet animals), crochet hooks and yarn, journal and papers related to Cursed Vault plans, at least three cool looking rocks she found on the ground.

Reference:

Face Claim: N/A

Voice Claim: N/A

Personality

Traits:

+  loyal, friendly, extroverted, responsible, mature, kind, adaptable, quick learner, resourceful, hopeful, courageous

+/— determined, good liar, intense, clever, intelligent, independent

— obsessive, untrusting, secretive, forceful, quick temper, angry, abrasive, single minded, rule breaker, rude, spiteful

Description:

Lili has a lot of pent up anger and a quick temper. She’s angry at her family, at authority, at the world. She’s not good at processing this anger and thus tends to lash out at people very often and often very cruelly and violently. She knows this and tries to keep in check but isn’t very good at doing so even as she ages. Because of her anger, she also tends to keep grudges for quite a while, even for stupid or petty reasons and is slow to admit she’s wrong.

In a better world, she would be known for her friendliness. Lili can be very friendly and relaxed. She talks first and makes a judgement second, trying to be as open minded as possible. She’s very casual yet polite and likes people being the same back to her.

Lili is determined in a way that tends towards the negative. Her laser focus on things tend to quickly become obsessions if someone she trusts doesn’t intervene quickly enough.

After her mother stopped being a parent towards her at a young age, Lili learned to take care of herself quickly. She’s become clever and resourceful in her steps to becoming independent. It’s left her mature and responsible for her age, but also untrusting and secretive, convinced she can do it on her own (or with Rowan only).

Lili is very loyal to those that earn her loyalty. For those she cares about, she would do anything. If you do something to lose that loyalty, expect harsh treatment after if Lili even deigns to speak to you. She’s not afraid of cutting people out of her life if they betray or anger her.

Other:

Likes: crafts (crochet, knitting, sewing), Rowan and Barnaby, scrunchies, dangly earrings, being busy, collecting things, fashion

Dislikes: Merula and Ismelda, Rakepick, Snape, most other Slytherins, people who get in her way, Dumbledore, Doctor Who after the 5th Doctor, not getting enough sleep, flying class

MBTI: ESTP

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Hogwarts

Hogwarts House: Slytherin

OWL Classes:

Astronomy: 6/10 (E)

Charms: 9/10 (O)

DADA: 9/10 (O)

Flying: 2/10 (A)

Herbology: 3/10 (A)

History of Magic: 2/10 (A)

Potions: 4/10 (A)

Transfiguration: 7/10 (E)

OWL Electives:

Ancient Runes:  9/10 (O)

Arithmancy:  6/10 (O)

Care of Magical Creatures:  6/10 (O)

NEWT Classes:

Ancient Runes: 9/10 (O)

Arithmancy: 6/10 (E)

Charms: 9/10 (O)

DADA: 9/10 (O)

Transfiguration: 7/10 (E)

Extracurriculars:

Clubs: Dueling Club (3rd-4th year), Fencing Club (2nd-5th year), Transfiguration Club (occasionally from 2nd year on)

Quidditch: N/A

Prefect or Head Boy/Girl: N/A

Best Classes:

Charms It’s the one class she’s very naturally talented at. She never needs to study much, but she barely has to try with Charms. Someday she’ll beat Ben and be the best in their year at the class.

Defense Against the Dark Arts She’s not good at this because of any professor, she’s good at this because of her excursions into the Cursed Vaults giving her practical knowledge.

Worst Classes:

Flying Listen, if people were meant to fly, then they’d have wings, or a spell letting people properly fly would be created by now. Lili will be staying on the ground, thank you very much.

Herbology She’s lived in the city her whole life and being around so many plants is strange. She doesn’t hate the class, but she does use it to catch up with her friends rather than study.

Potions She doesn’t have the patience for potions, and that’s even when she doesn’t have Snape refusing to acknowledge her existence.

Favorite Professors:

Flitwick She thinks Flitwick is great. There’s not much more to say. He’s responsible but not smothering, and still thinks well of her brother. If she ever had to pick an adult to trust, it would be Flitwick.

Kettleburn She had taken Care of Magical Creatures because Rowan had wanted a third elective and Lili didn’t want to take Muggle Studies or Divination. However, she ended up loving the class and thinks Kettleburn is hilarious. She honestly wished she could take the class NEWT level, but her schedule was already full.

Least Favorite Professors:

Snape She has a very complicated relationship with Snape. He hates her because of her brother (who he did not get along with), because she reminds him of James Potter, and because her nickname, Lili, reminds him of his lost love Lily Evans every time he hears it. Lili, of course, does not know any of this and thinks he just hates her for no reason. Jacob thought he was a Death Eater (he got that from whispers older kids who Jacob knew were definitely Death Eaters), so Lili uses that as justification to not like him.

Rakepick She never trusted her and barely liked her, even before she became a professor. Her opinion didn’t go improve any time in fifth year.

Magic

1st Wand: Blackthorn, unicorn hair, 11 3/4 in, shiny and slightly flexible

“Blackthorn, which is a very unusual wand wood, has the reputation, in my view well-merited, of being best suited to a warrior. This does not necessarily mean that its owner practises the Dark Arts (although it is undeniable that those who do so will enjoy the blackthorn wand’s prodigious power); one finds blackthorn wands among the Aurors as well as among the denizens of Azkaban.”

2nd Wand: Aspen, phoenix feather, 12 in, fairly rigid

“In my experience, aspen wand owners are generally strong-minded and determined, more likely than most to be attracted by quests and new orders; this is a wand for revolutionaries.”

Special Abilities: Natural Legilimens, Occlumency

Boggart

Form: Jacob telling her she’s useless and unwanted and that everything she’s doing is for nothing.

Riddikulus: Has not found anything yet that works

Amortentia

What they smell: the Owlery, Standard Ingredient, and something else, something she can’t figure out

What they smell like to others: Lavender, hot chocolate, campfire smoke

Patronus

Form: A goshawk. Independent and intelligent hunters who focus intently on stalking their prey.

Memory: A childhood memory of going to a fair. Jacob looked after her the entire night, and it’s one of the last times she remembers seeing both of her parents laugh.

What they see in the Mirror of Erised: Herself with her family–Jacob is there and looks like how she remembers him, and her mother and father are holding hands and smiling. As she ages, her mother and father are phased out of the image and replaced by her friends, her new family.

FAMILY

Father: David Brooks

Muggle

b. 1943

Works at an accounting firm.

In theory, he was alright with magic and the wizarding world. In practice, it unnerved him more than he could say. When his children started doing accidental magic, and when Jacob came home from Hogwarts talking about nothing but spells and magic, that was it for David. He filed for divorce in 1980 and hasn’t spoken to his ex-wife or children since. He has since married to a fellow Muggle, treating her children as his own and speaking rarely of his biological children. He doesn’t even know Jacob disappeared.

Mother: Carina Flora Brooks (nee Braddock)

Pureblood

b. 1944

Ravenclaw

Works for a wizarding travel magazine as a photographer, travels around the world frequently

She was perhaps not meant to be a mother, and would have been happier following in her brother’s shoes of travelling the world with no responsibilities. However, her mother was insisting she marry and Carina, in a fit of rebellion, decided to marry a nice Muggle she knew instead of the purebloods her mother had picked out.

Carina was never very good with either of her children, and in particular could never get along with Jacob, resorting to abuse (emotional and physical) to try to get him to behave how she wanted. Despite this, she totally shut down when Jacob disappeared, feeling like a failure. This led to her severely neglecting her daughter to wallow in her own misery day and night. It also led to an irrational hatred of Hogwarts. She refuses to read any letters sent by them and has made several subtle attempts to make Lili miss the Hogwarts Express.

Brother: Jacob Seraphinus Ulysses Brooks

Half-blood

b. March 8th, 1967

Slytherin

Currently missing.

Never able to make friends easily or keep his mouth shut, Jacob always had a hard time fitting in, so he turned to books. He preferred fiction over nonfiction, but one history book’s mention of Cursed Vaults on Hogwarts’ grounds led to a search that would dominate his, and his sister’s, life.

He was an outcast in his house and Hogwarts, besides for a few acquaintances, and instead focused on reaching his goals. He was reckless and brave (the Sorting Hat considered putting him in Gryffindor), but obsessive, secretive, and increasingly dependent on the idea of “the end justifies the means.”

Grandfather: Ambrose Braddock

Pureblood

b. 1903

Ravenclaw

Deceased

Known for being Britain’s first natural Legilimens in a century. The Braddock family is known for being a line of natural Legilimens, but none in the family had had the ability in five generations before Ambrose was born. This ended up leading to an offer of marriage from the Malfoy family who wanted the connection to this rare ability. Later realized his grandson was also a natural Legilimens, but died before he could teach Jacob more than the basics on how to control it and never realized his granddaughter also had the ability.

Died of sickness in 1975 at age 72

Grandmother: Silvia Braddock (nee Malfoy)

Pureblood

b. 1911

Slytherin

Never worked, has always been a housewife

Your typical upper class, conservative grandmother. She may not believe that strongly in pureblood mania anymore, but she still believes in things like “children should be seen, not heard,” and corporal punishment. Was in an arranged marriage to Ambrose and never really grew to love him feeling she was marrying beneath her Malfoy heritage. Fairly reclusive nowadays, only entertaining old friends for brunch and going to the occasional pureblood party.

Uncle: Victor Felinus Braddock

Pureblood wizard

b. 1940

Gryffindor

Has a different job every few months, deosn’t really needs to have one and his work ethic shows that

Considered a fun uncle by his nephew, and an annoyance by his niece. Has a lot of stories, and a slight drinking problem.  While his mother was annoyed at him for having a dalliance with a Muggle-born, she was even more furious that he refused to marry Suzie. Victor didn’t want to be tied down, and left her to raise their two daughters only appearing in their lives every few years.

Cousins: Donna and Caroline Jones

Half-bloods

b. 1960 and 1975

Both Gryffindor

Welsh

Their mother Susan Jones was a Muggle-born Sorted into Gryffindor in the same year as Victor Braddock. The two have had an on again, off again relationship since their Hogwarts years that has resulted in two daughters.

Donna was sorted into Gryffindor in 1971 (meaning she would have been roommates with Lily Evans which is a coincidence I swear) and it’s easy to see why. She’s confident, brash, and blunt. She has many problems with her father and refuses to interact with that side of the family. Works in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement for the Ministry.

Caroline is the opposite of her much older sister and was surprised to find herself in Gryffindor (Sorted there in Lili’s 3rd year). She’s timid and quiet, but with a backbone hidden underneath. She wilts at any negative tones, but is always ready to extend a hand to anyone who has hurt her, even multiple times.

Step family: Sabina Brooks, Ioan and Luca Ciobanu

Muggles

b. 1949, 1975, and 1980

Immigrants from Romania to England

After divorcing Carina, David began dating Sabina shortly after and later married her, acting as a father to her two young children. The four of them live together in London.

Pets:

Alfred An easily frightened black cat that once belonged to Jacob

Doctor Hoot A large barred owl that frequently forgets it’s an owl and not a lapdog

FRIENDS

Best Friends:

Rowan Khanna Her best friend!! She originally befriended Rowan because Rowan reminded her of her muggle friend, but it soon blossomed into a different, much closer relationship. Whenever Rowan is gone, Lili doesn’t really know what to do (”I’m going to cut all the sleeves off my robes.” “Why??” “Rowan left an hour ago and she’s like 85% of my impulse control.”) and Lili would never have made it through any of the Cursed Vaults without her. She probably also would have gotten expelled for brawling and dueling in like second year without Rowan. I’m not joking about that impulse control thing.

Barnaby Lee Lili didn’t like Barnaby at first. Even before he worked for Merula, she thought he was nothing more than a stupid jock and made fun of how Snape would pick on him in Potions. Then she actually talked to him and did a complete 180. “I’ve only known Barnaby for an hour, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room and them myself.” She liked how sweet and genuine he was despite his awful upbringing. He’s always there to support her, and she’s really grown to love him for that. He once thought he had a crush on her, but it wasn’t really romantic (”The feeling was friendship but he had never experienced it before.”).

Good Friends:

Bill Weasley He’s like the big brother Jacob should’ve been. She was not thrilled to have a complete stranger helping with the Vaults, but in hindsight she’s so very glad she listened to Rowan. Lili isn’t sure she could have gotten half of what she’s done done without Bill’s help and steadfastness.

Charlie Weasley Their friendship kind of crept up on Lili. Charlie was closer friends with Ben and Barnaby, so while Lili had a passing familiarity with him before the Forest Vault, she wouldn’t have called them friends. She was surprised when she turned out to really enjoy his company when he started helping with the Cursed Vaults.

Chiara Lobosca Chiara was someone Lili tangentially knew due to people confusing them for each other (the hair color; once Chiara hits a growth spurt and Lili doesn’t people stop). Then Lili is forced to partner with Chiara in Herbology in 3rd year, and besides seeing her Herbology grade go up the slightest bit, she finds a friend in Chiara, appreciating the girl’s seemingly infinite kindness.

Friends:

Nymphadora Tonks They get along in classes, but Lili doesn’t trust Tonks with anything serious.

Liz Tuttle The two have many overlapping friends but don’t really hang out with each other.

Badeea Ali She really respects Badeea, but they just don’t have many reasons to be around each other.

Jae Kim Lili thinks he’s hilarious and very smart, but doesn’t trust him as far as she could throw him.

It’s Complicated:

Ben Copper Probably the most complicated relationship here. She befriended him out of pity and continued their friendship because of his skill at Charms. He’s had a crush on her since they were 11 when she stood up for him which no one had ever done before. Then the Red Robed Wizard Reveal tm happened and Lili dropped him and ignored him, though he tried to make it up to her. 6th year only drives a deeper wedge between them as Lili can’t stand his recent behaviour. Ben finally confessing about his love for Lili in 6th year didn’t help mend anything either.

Tulip Karasu After finding out that Tulip had purposefully not told her about Jacob’s room, Lili instantly decided she was an undesirable but necessary ally. Lili does not like Tulip for most of their time at Hogwarts as she’s really pissed that someone would keep her brother’s things from her. Lili will talk to her about the Cursed Vaults, but they do not hang out and Lili does not consider her a friend. This really, really hurts Tulip’s feelings but Lili doesn’t really care. The relationship does get a bit better in 6th year, but it’s never going to be a close one. In a better world without the Vaults, they’d probably get along smashingly as while Lili isn’t a prankster, she has no problem egging them on.

Love Interests:

Penny Haywood Her first, longest, and most confusing crush. She was wary of Penny at first. Popular girls were rarely that 100% nice, but Penny truly was. She also had a nice smile and pretty hair and soft hands…. It took Lili quite a while (like four years and Bill telling her) to figure out it was a crush and then….she did absolutely nothing. She panicked and stopped talking to Penny for a while before sheepishly apologizing when Penny confronted her. They went to the Celestial Ball together, but “as friends.” That did not stop them from having a Moment that Lili interpreted completely wrongly and she assumed Penny didn’t like her romantically. Penny in fact did, and since Lili never reacted to their Moment in the proper way, Penny assumed that Lili wasn’t interested. The two continued having crushes on each other for the rest of their time at Hogwarts and remained close friends after they both graduated.

Talbott Winger Her second, less confusing, crush. Similar to Barnaby, Lili didn’t think much of Talbott at first. He was that one kid who was talented at Transfiguration and she once saw him chatting casually to an owl in the Owlery. He was weird and she ignored him. Then she was paired with him on a class assignment in 3rd year and a friendship bloomed despite Talbott’s protests. It was a casual thing at first, but then Lili helped Talbott find his mom’s necklace, and their talk under the stars about family and the past and future deepened their friendship. Having already figured out she had a crush on Penny by this time, she managed to get the signs that she now also had a crush on Talbott, which made her panic, again. However, since Talbott is even worse with emotions than her, she didn’t do anything drastic like she did with Penny. They went on one date in 6th year but that was going too fast for Talbott and they decided to stay friends until Talbott felt more comfortable being around people. Lili took this….mostly gracefully.

Diego Caplan The two met in the Dueling Club in 4th year. Diego was impressed with Lili’s skill and tried to befriend her and also maybe flirt with her a bit. Lili, who tends to gravitate towards people who are unashamedly themselves, found his over the top flirting hilarious and was instantly endeared to Diego. She really enjoyed being around him, finding his lightheartedness helped her forget some of her troubles with the Cursed Vaults, especially in 5th year. He asked her out on a date, her first one, and she agreed. She enjoyed the date, but 5th year was the peak of her obsession with the Cursed Vaults so she broke it off. They later dated again during 6th year, after Lili’s one date with Talbott.

Dormmates:

Rowan Khanna see above

Desdemona Selwyn An OC. Their entire relationship can be explained with that one text post that’s like “Bitch.” “Blocked.” “Wait unblock me I need to tell you something.” “Unblocked.” “Bitch.”

Vidalia Barrows An OC. Lili has said like two sentences to Vidalia and she plans to keep it that way. Vidalia just eats and sleeps and does whatever Desdemona says to do.

Doesn’t Interact:

Murphy McNully/Skye Parkin/Orion Amari/Erika Rath She’s not involved in Quidditch.

Andre Egwu I just can’t think of a way to work him into the plot lol They would get along somewhat well otherwise.

Enemies:

Merula Snyde Hated each other’s guts for a while. Then Lili gave up her Frog Choir spot and Merula gained a small crush (even if Lili was a total ass about giving it up). While they’ll never be friends, by the time of 5th and 6th year they’ve become reluctant allies similar to Lili and Tulip above. Lili will probably never totally befriend her, but she’s learned to be civil and that’s progress.

Ismelda Murk Lili doesn’t really like Ismelda but she considers her all bark and no bite. Ismelda hates Lili because she thinks Lili and Barnaby are gonna end up dating and is jealous.

Desdemona Selwyn An OC. See above.

Most of Slytherin House Lili has never been shy about being half Muggle and being proud of it, and in a house that still worships Voldemort, that sets her apart. The few that don’t find her being pro-Muggle distasteful don’t want to be exiles in their own dorms and avoid talking to her.

Story

Childhood:

Lili’s childhood was never that great. Her parents fought frequently over her and Jacob’s use of accidental magic, and this eventually caused them to divorce when Lili was 9. Her mother in particular was emotionally and physically abusive but Jacob spared her from the worst of it.

Jacob was always the best part of her childhood. She loved her parents, but Jacob was the person she always looked forward to seeing. When he went to Hogwarts, she was upset for weeks, and when he went missing, she was devastated (especially as he went missing the night of her birthday).

Her mother didn’t take it well. Carina was not particularly close with Jacob, but this obviously big failure of her as a parent hit her hard. She became very emotionally withdrawn from Lili and threw herself into her photography work, leaving the country, and Lili, for weeks at a time.

Lili had to become very independent very quickly after that. That, plus the fact that she didn’t have any non-Muggle friends meant she trusted very few people and lied often. Getting her Hogwarts letter was a relief and a promise of freedom

Hogwarts:

: )

see here: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1467043

Adulthood:

Lili is very distraught after graduation and leaves everyone she knows behind to travel Europe and find herself. She spends several years doing this, helping people and doing odd jobs.

Eventually, she finds that she has a talent for languages, picking up a few easily in her travels, and starts to consider possibly doing something related to language whenever she goes back to Britain.

Miscellaneous

She fuckin loves scrunchies.

Has lived in a Muggle neighbourhood her whole life.

Likes muggle TV. Grew up watching Doctor Who. Not impressed with the 6th Doctor, and glad she was away at Hogwarts during his run. Favorite Doctor is the 4th and she knit herself her own version of his scarf.

Likes collecting things! She loves cool rocks on the sidewalk, tacky tourist souvenirs, and things you find for $1 in a thrift store.

She can knit, crochet and sew. She likes making little crochet animals and giving them to friends (or just keeping them and having a plushy empire around her bed).

Loves having her photo taken and has a whole collection of photos, but hates taking photos. It reminds her of her mother.

One of her Muggle friends got her into fencing. She thought it would be useful to hone her athletic skills with, so she continued doing it when she went back to Hogwarts in the fall.

The type of person who needs to be doing something 24/7. When she doesn’t have anything to focus on, she tends to be all over the place and rather annoying.

Quieter and more complacent as a kid. it was after her family broke apart that the need to be so driven started to become a part of her personality.

Love Like You from Steven Universe is a song for her and Jacob (from Jacob’s POV)

Chameleon by Michela is a song that fits her

Tropes:

Big Brother Worship

Determinator

Family Eye Resemblance

Good is Not Nice

Hair Trigger Temper

Jerk with a Heart of Gold

Parental Neglect

[cbhunter494]

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In the event, if you’re a Windows or Linux user, unlocker for VMware Catalina, you definitely have the concept of installing it on your PC (should you have followed the manuals before). But, there are numerous approaches and software out there you might have tried, at least among them VMware unlocker macOS Catalina. If not, you are ready to receive the new operating system running on your device, macOS VMware unlocker to get VMware 14, and check out how to install macOS Mojave onto VMware. That’s correct. You’re on the path to acquire this. Here’s what’s Unlocker does and why you need it VMware Unlocker Mojave.

Not only that, but since today the new model of macOS is out that’s macOS Catalina, it is possible to set up macOS Catalina onto VMware and set up macOS Catalina onto VirtualBox. But for this, VMware unlocker for macOS Mojave download, then you will want to download macOS Catalina ISO For VMware & VirtualBox or download macOS Catalina VMware & VirtualBox picture which we’ve previously covered, so let’s do so macOS unlocker.

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Before we go any further, we should basically have an idea of how VMware unlocker for macOS GitHub and how it functions.

VMware Unlocker for macOS or macOS Catalina Unlocker VMware 15 ( Unlocker for VMware ) is quite a handy tool that replaces a few documents such as VMware-vmx vmwarebase.dll, vmwarebase. So and stains macOS configurations and setup features like alternatives, booting, and installation configurations into VMware and even obtain a copy of the newest version of VMware Tools for macOS on VMware should you want. As a result, when you’ve run the patch, then you’ll figure out configurations incorporated into VMware and put in any version of macOS on VMware with no restrictions. Download & Install macOS Unlocker to get VMware Workstation/Player.

Initially, when you set up macOS Catalina or Mojave or previous versions on VMware, when installing, you’ll certainly be asked to choose the operating system and model that you want to set up, as you’ll want to select macOS to install. By default, there’s no such alternative for macOS to select if installing. That’s because the VMware program does not support and restricts installing macOS on VMware, whether its VMware Workstation or Player or mix, so macOS unlocker to get VMware Workstation 15.

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In cases like this, if you want to install and utilize macOS on VMware, to begin with, that which we need to do is eliminate limitations. To do that, here comes VMware macOS unlocker to work. If you don’t know what VMware macOS unlocker, then here is what you should know.

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HOW TO INSTALL VMWARE UNLOCKER FOR MACOS OR VMWARE UNLOCKER TOOL

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Now that you’ve VMware Unlocker Tool (Unlocker for VMware) or macOS Catalina VMware Unlocker Tool, also recognized exactly what and how it operates, you are all set. It is worth pointing out that this works only on Intel systems with VMware set up. Sadly, this will not do the job for AMD based systems as AMD CPUs are not supported by macOS. Garuda gbf.

Before you step right into it, it’s good to take a copy of your VMware program folder since this patch can replace original files. Although the utility takes a backup, it’s a great idea to copy by yourself. So let us install VMware Unlocker for macOS.

In the first, head to VMware Workstation, Player, or blend you’re using and depart completely (Seriously, otherwise, this can hurt the app ).

Note: If you didn’t close VMware services, including background services, completely, this process may damage and might make VMware unusable.

When you have shut the VMware apps and services from a desktop computer, navigate to VMware Unlocker for macOS or VMware Unlocker Tool whether you’re using VMware Workstation/Player or Fusion 7/8/10, extract it manually.

If you’re using previous VMware apps sooner than 11 (version), you can keep on using VMware Unlocker for macOS version 1.

After the file is pulled, open it, and right click win-install, choose Run as administrator.

As soon as you’ve run the Unlocker, Command Prompt will open up and prevent VMware services, backup files and perform some patching and begin the VMware services back running, wait.

After the process is finished, Command Prompt will close automatically as nothing happened.

And you’re all caught up! That is it for your patching.

To check if the uninstalled has successfully gone, launch VMware and press Ctrl + N or click Create a New Virtual Machine. Subsequently, proceed Next on the very first brand new digital machine setup page.

Just choose I’ll put in the operating system later and hit Next.

And you will find that the Apple macOS X option with versions there. Choose the Apple macOS X as a guest operating system and select the macOS edition you wish to set up.

Further, you may install macOS Catalina on VMware or even macOS Mojave on VMware Workstation in the tutorial measures.

The VMware Unlocker for macOS has been installed. When something is remaining, you are no way to share your own ideas, jump down and tell us exactly what you think about this in the remarks section.

Here is a video tutorial on How to Download & Install MacOS Unlocker For Vmware Workstation/Player.

Mac Os Catalina Patcher Tool

There are several computers and several operating systems. From these several operating systems, everyone wants to try the top ones. If you want to know which one is the top one so go ahead search which operating has the most users. After you do, you’ll definitely find that Mac and Windows are the two top ones. In this article, I’ll share download macOS High Sierra ISO, DMG, VMDK via Torrent Image.

If we take a look at the Mac operating system, it has surpassed 100 million active users. By seeing these crazy amounts of users you can probably have an idea of how much useful and advanced operating system it is. The nice thing is, every year it receives a whole update with a new version of another operating system that will cover up another wave of useful features and apps requested by users.

Speaking of Mac operating system, another new version of macOS is now there. And that is macOS High Sierra. The macOS High Sierra is an enhanced plus more of unique features and options that make it perfectly effective. So let’s see what are macOS High Sierra features and its apps.

Related: Download macOS High Sierra 10.13.6 DMG File – Direct Links

ΜTorrent Classic for Mac, the software you are currently running, is a 32-bit app. Apple is soon releasing a new Mac OS, Catalina (version 10.15), which is not compatible with 32-bit apps. Therefore, in early September, we will automatically update µTorrent Classic for Mac to our newest torrent downloader and player, µTorrent Web for Mac. Home / Mac OS Downloads / Apple Mac OS X Lion Download 10.7: Get It Now! Posted on May 28, 2018 December 4, 2020 by Just Apple Stuff Since you are unable to get Mac OS X Lion Download 10.7 from Apple, I have decided to upload here. Okay I’m gonna bless MAC Users here. JUST FOLLOW ALL THE STEP carefully and you would get everything should work. Not sure about Big Sur but latest Catalina works fine. Before to start, you must prepare usb drive and any of window pc. Follow all steps on Read Me.rtf. They said 4,5,6 are optional but just do it.

After you do, you’ll definitely find that Mac and Windows are the two top ones. In this article, I’ll share download macOS High Sierra ISO, DMG, VMDK via Torrent Image. If we take a look at the Mac operating system, it has surpassed 100 million active users.

macOS High Sierra

macOS High Sierra is the next significant drop of the Mac operating system. It was announced on WWDC of 2017, and the name High Sierra refers to the High Sierra area in California. The macOS High Sierra is the successor of the macOS Sierra. In macOS High Sierra, Apple has replaced most of its features with complete new features in macOS High Sierra. One of the cool things about macOS High Sierra is that it doesn’t take too much place in storage which is very useful. You can install or upgrade on your Mac and download and install macOS High Sierra on your Windows PC also. So let’s see what features this new operating system has.

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While there are more features than we can count on, but we’ll name a few such as Apple File System. Apple File System (APFS) replaces HFS plus the default file system in macOS for the first time with High Sierra. More features and updates are also on the line such as Photos, Mails, Safari, Notes, Siri, and Messages.

Now macOS High Sierra has an updated Photos viewer and editor which makes pretty easy for users to view or edit files. As well as, Mail is now more efficient and takes a huge less space than before. Safari has a new “Smart Tracking Prevention” feature that blocks third-party apps and services that track user activities. One more notable things is that Siri is now fast enough to make quick responses and quick actions naturally.

So when an operating system which has this much useful features, you would probably want to experience it. The only way to experience is to install macOS High Sierra on your computer. Now within computer, whether you’ve a Mac or Windows, you can definately install it. But before you need some files which we’ve covered up. While installing High Sierra is our subject, we’ll need to download High Sierra installer files. In addition to the simple and working files, we’re now providing a step further to only one forms but also in Torrent images. In this article, I’ll share download macOS High Sierra ISO, DMG, VMDK Torrent Image. The Torrent images include download macOS High Sierra ISO, macOS High Sierra DMG, macOS High Sierra VMware and VirtualBox. So take a look at below for the downloading of macOS High Sierra Torrent images.

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An ISO file is an archive file that provides the same and alternative copy of data located on a physical or digital disc, like a CD or DVD. They are particularly used for backing up and instead of physical discs, or for sharing large files through burning to a visible disc. For downloading a torrent file, we need to install a Torrent program like UTorrent, BitTorrent or any other torrent program. Once you’ve installed it, download the file from here and open it with Utorrent and it will start the process. So let’s download macOS High Sierra ISO for VMware & VirtualBox.

macOS High Sierra ISO 10.13.6 (Torrent) – Here is the macOS High Sierra ISO file in Torrent. Click on the link and download it straightly. Once that’s with you, proceed with the installation. No need to take the backup of your files and documents beacuse there’s no risk in it at all. You can also delete the files if the installation didn’t work so would like to free up space.

macOS High Sierra DMG 10.13.6 (Torrent) If you’re wondering what DMG is. It’s a file format which is used to smaller the size of a software or file via compressing it instead of having to use a physical disc. Whether you’d like to install High Sierra on Mac or would like to create a High Sierra bootable USB. Whatever your reason, you can certainly download macOS High Sierra DMG and not only via direct but also via Torrent in this one. Just click in the link and download the macOS High Sierra DMG file which we have provided.

macOS High Sierra 10.13.6 VMDK (Torrent)– When it comes to download, Torrents are way easier to download than other. The reason behind providing this is, to provide you the files without any issues but in your comfort. We hope everyone choose and support us.

For installing macOS High Sierra, we need to have the appropriate file for the particular reason which would be macOS High Sierra VMware and VirtualBox. There isn’t much difference between installing on VMware and VirtualBox because they both are free open-source platforms that does the same thing. Like both of them can create virtual machine, set it up and then install macOS or any other operating system on it.

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Get the Latest Version macOS Images by Joining our Patreon

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Get without a password and easy to access and the latest version of macOS files on our Patreon.

If there’s some problem with downloading, you may fix it with the steps below.

If you are interested to install macOS High Sierra on VirtualBox and VMware Workstation on Windows PC. Then you have to download the VMDK File from the below-given link.

– Just click in the link and download High Sierra VMDK in Torrent in your PC then enjoy macOS High on VMware and VirtualBox. You can also download and install any other operating system in your PC. Because when you download VMware or VirtualBox you can download many operating systems in that.

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For downloading High Sierra via Torrent, we have provided you the links like always which don’t have any issues. Just by one click you can download macOS High Sierra on VMware and VirtualBox.

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[viralhai]

MS Dhoni retired: cricket legend and esoteric secret who launched one lakh middle class dreams | ViralHai News [ad_1]

And so it ended, tentatively, with a bunch of cold, calculated, vague terms defining finality. A middle-aged man's utterly spontaneous memoir of memories compiled on Instagram, talking seamlessly with the app; The indelible tag-team of Mukesh and Sahir Ludhianvi flowed their prose into ancient times, evoking emotions, refreshing memories - it was very simple, very definite. A farewell note placed on a mock day on his head in Manchester by Martin Guptill's rapping arm was eventually read in 16 unread words 14 months later. No press release, no video, no voice. This was it.

Reactions have been written about Mahendra Singh Dhoni's humble beginnings, he venturing out of a non-metro city, looking for opportunities where very few, if any, are trying to break out of his background, though it It should be noted that the likes of Harbhajan Singh, Shiv Sundar Das, Debashish Mohanty, and Zaheer Khan, who all made their debut, also came from relatively small towns.

It is customary to gloom over this last aspect, and truth be told, it was one hell of a Dalit story, but Dhoni was more than the sum of these parts. He went ahead with patience. They changed perceptions without meaning, and before they would know, the heartlessness that typified and euphemized big cities because pragmatism placed limitless love on the cult. It is a little surprising that towards the end of his career, it became impossible to objectively analyze his performances without inviting the wrath of his fans online - the same in which his home in Ranchi was stoned and the disappointing post His posters were later burnt. Cup campaign in 2007.

After India's exit from the 2007 World Cup, protests began in MS Dhoni's hometown, Ranchi. Afp / file

It is widely believed that Dhoni was transformed by seeing a fickle-minded country in a hell-turn to change his young life. Flipped something. Even his farewell fight includes two shots of the ill-fated World Cup that defined India's campaign - he was leaving for a golden duck and burning effigies for Muttiah Muralitharan. He stopped talking to the press, his inner circle shrunk, he developed only a sufficiency to keep people away as well as people, and perhaps felt that life was more than the image of a prisoner cultivating It ends. The aristocratic aura and the dreamer were the by-products of this distance.

On the field, he finished the match in style, keeping the game deep, creating one-on-one scenarios with the bowlers, hitting sixes in the final overs and walking calmly, standing at the corner of the group photos and handing his trophy to Juniors. Remembers the bare-chested Dhoni on his India jersey with a largely forgotten shot after winning the inaugural T20 World Cup in South Africa following a humiliating insult in the West Indies. It was an extension of a template he had made a year in a row: walking with man-of-the-match bikes, and taking him for a spin inside Trick Stadium, often winning India's chase with two Peel riders. , Almost always without a helmet. How quiet was it? How different from its picture-perfect predecessors, how fresh and how natural. One nation fell in love.

In a 15-year and 8-month career and booked by run-outs, she was many things: a long-haired connoisseur, a reluctant promoter, an icy leader of men, an honorary lieutenant colonel, an ordinary man for his greatness, but a specialty Skeptics who helped him to become what he did was the calm confidence that comes with someone's strength as well as the tight embrace of boundaries. Can not drive through the cover? Cool, I'll pick them up instead of cover. Very hands down? No worries, I'll swing it out of the ground. No traditional wicketkeeping technique? Thanks, but I'll write my own rulebook. No express bowler? I will do it with Praveen Kumar.

Dhoni inherited a team full of superstars, but when it was his turn to lead the team, he took over himself. Afp / file

He inherited a team with legends, and while it helped him manage his gentlemen, spaces and moods, most of the men were nervous. Whatever Dhoni has done, we will probably never know, but what we do know is to take India to the pinnacle of the Test rankings, something that he carried forward. When the time came, he also broke the whip, provoking an idol-worshiping nation, but prepared the blueprint for a World Cup victory.

Murmurs emerged from his displeasure with the reluctance of the selectors to leave the seniors, but Dhoni held on. The World Cup was won with a shot on home soil, which made a name for itself in the folklore of cricket and was later announced by Sunil Gavaskar as his will. After that there was a stretch in his career which divides opinion till date. It is a part of his cricketing life that his biopic Adrolike skips and refuses to accept his dying fans. Soon after the high level of the World Cup, he led India to twin whitewash in England and Australia, and inexplicably retained his job, which led to the famous veto of then BCCI president N Srinivasan (in).

The following year, the IPL spot-fixing scandal broke and Rajasthan Royals and Chennai Super Kings were suspended for two years in a Supreme Court-appointed panel. It says a lot that when someone questioned about Rahul Dravid's intentions, there were enough uncomfortable statements about the Royals captain, his CSK counterpart and his link with Srinivasan, whose India Cements franchise had a Chennai-based franchise .

He was accused of lying to a panel led by Justice Mukul Mudgal, who called him a "cricket enthusiast", saving Srinivasan's son-in-law Gurunath Meiyappan, even as the investigation led him to be a team official Was confirmed. Then, a small case of 13 names given to the top court by Justice Mudgal is in a sealed envelope that the cricket-loving public seems to have forgotten.

Soon after the spot-fixing scandal, Dhoni appeared before the media in a pre-departure press before the Champions Trophy. Despite customary gags, some journalists questioned Dhoni on CSK's controversial role in the sly episode, but all the Indian captains smiled sarcastically. The most influential person in Indian cricket was a diminutive, smiling duck, squirting to eliminate pressure to subside. In a script that questioned CSK's role in the darkest phase of Indian cricket since the match-fixing scandal in 2000, he could only dream, he returned with the trophy.

A few years later, after India registered a one-run win over Bangladesh in the World T20, Dhoni's criticism of Amitabh Bachchan's tweet for "not adding anything" has led commentator Harsha Bhogle to speak on Bangladesh Criticism led to the BCCI removing the ace commentator from its panel. .

After a few matches, when India crashed out of the event with a surprise defeat to the West Indies in the semi-finals, Dhoni invited an Australian journalist to the stage and put on a show. Mind you, it was not a good nature. It was the most powerful player in world cricket who described the press as a way to back-off. This is an exercise in itself to understand why he chose the most appropriate way to do so. It is natural for a man who was unfairly hounded by the TV media - albeit nine years ago - not to do his job, but to humiliate a journalist who did not conform to a person of his stature. The BCCI, as they are used to, chose not to do anything about it.

MS Dhoni is more than he wants to believe, to build himself up, especially in moments of weakness. To regain the captaincy one must let his career flow a second, but this was not to be. He scored, but the innings of the match was reserved for CSK.

Last year's World Cup tried them out and thoroughly examined the methods of testing innings, and one suspected that a failure was only a few innings away. For him and for India, it reached the semi-finals against New Zealand. He scored a half-century, but the lasting image would be to leave him off-stump and inadvertently giving up the run chase. He had his final appearance on the cricket field; An anti-climatic end to a career built on enterprise, courage and conviction.

MS Dhoni was the last link between Tendulkar's chastity and Kohli's imprudence.

However, there should be no more regrets. For a generation of Indian cricket fans, Dhoni was one of the final episodes of the Golden Generation - one connecting Sachin and Dravid's refined purity with Kohli and Rohit's apathy. He was no saint, no god, and quite enough, never pretended to be one. For all Indian public cricketers to live in, he succeeded in building an island for himself and his family, and in the process, acquired his legacy in the history of India's rich cricketing history.

As Dhoni makes time for a memorable career, the vignettes hit sixes for the fun of Muscat-Tyro, among them handing the ball to Joginder Sharma, six of Wankhede, in the final over of the World T20 final, for disqualification. The smile that spoke the small of those empty, sleepy eyes that showed nothing. Choose whichever you like, they all relate to the mystery that launched a million middle-class dreams.

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[captainquestionart]

hey my man, amazin work on act omega- the team behind it is wonderful!! im lookin to make a fanventure myself, could you give any tips as to pixelling in gg and how to edit images? you know like basically any recoloured, edited clusterfuck of an image in homestuck that hussie does (planets, for example) + how you tilt to have them at different angles? sorry if this sounds like a loooot and you can completely ignore this ask(!), but im just clueless and motivated, my guy

Thank you for asking! I never get asks and I’m always glad to help with any questions like these.

…Anyway, the team behind Act Omega is definitely wonderful, take it from me. My job is typically to do all sorts of sprites/ sprite edits (like the ones in the [S] Resume animation) and I draw the characters and/or backgrounds for panels often enough, so I can definitely give you some tips on those things.

Most editing effects like the ones you asked about aren’t really my domain - a lot of them are done in Photoshop by (among others) our amazing art director @joyfulldreams (she’s seriously great go follow her please), so I asked her for some additional tips.

(This is probably going to turn out long enough to be annoying to scroll past, so I’m putting it all under a read more.)

First off, I have to clear up that when it comes to editing the typical Homestuck sprites (like the ones in [S]:Resume), GraphicsGale hasn’t been my main tool.

The first thing I did for Act Omega was drawing some talksprites (for Tumblr asks, mine were never actually used). I used to do that in Gale, but as soon as I tried it using Paint Tool SAI’s aliased brush (Legacy Pen) instead, I decided that was more comfortable. Most of my work for Resume, redrawing sprites from Collide we couldn’t find elsewhere, was done that way too.Pros of using SAI (and probably Photoshop too? Not 100% sure) for sprites compared to Gale include:

The layers are much, much easier and more intuitive to use than Gale’s. To me Gale’s layers kinda suck and using them is always a pain.

Using a sketch is easier too, and you can make it semi-transparent

Gale doesn’t really do pen pressure, which is most important in talksprites but still can be helpful for the regular sprites too.

That said, when I had to make entirely new animations (like the one above), I had to use GraphicsGale, with its handy preview feature, and it is perfectly possible to use only Gale for everything. Rotating things also had to be done in Gale and then manually cleaned up a little, since SAI will turn anything you try to transform into an ugly anti-aliased mess.

So, bottom line is, I personally prefer to use Gale and SAI in combination, but that’s not strictly necessary. If you’re going full-on Gale (and now I’m gonna assume you haven’t used it too much before), here’s

A few quick practical tips on using Gale I wish I had figured out earlier:

The default settings of Gale include a 1 pixel brush and a 3 pixel brush, but no 2 pixel brush. Since pen pressure won’t save you here, that’s inconvenient. The less you need to go back and painstakingly correct your lines to be the right size, the better. You’ll want to make that brush yourself by opening a new file in Gale, 32x32 pixels, and 1 bit (2 colours). Make it look like this and save it as a bitmap (BMP) image: 

And then find this option:

and put your bitmap in there. Gale will recognize that as a custom 2px brush.

If you want to make your images have a transparent background, make sure you tick that box in the options of the frame, not the layer (the little ellipsis button next to each Frame thumbnail -see below). Gale still has no way of telling if your BG is transparent or just white, so I recommend always working with a different color as a background. That way you can tell from the animation preview - if the BG looks white there, it’s transparent. Also make sure these settings apply to every frame by changing “current frame” to “all frames”.

If you want to change the opacity of something (like, say, god tier wings on a troll), you need to save the image as a .png first and tick the box “With Alpha Channel” underneath…

     …then open the image again. Only then will the transparency slider above the palette sliders actually work. You can also use the thick blue pencil button:

    …to set your pencil tool to opacity mode, which will make anything you draw over into the opacity set by the slider.

Now for some more Homestuck-specific tips:

You’re probably better off making sprites in separate parts (a layer for the head, one for the body, one for the arm(s)… from the start. It’ll save you a lot of trouble when you need to animate them. In fact, it might not be a bad idea to also put all of those parts into a neat spritesheet so you don’t have to look too far when you need to reuse something.

(I didn’t see this one all the way through because there was too much to do but you get the idea)

If you don’t already, make sure you have a big folder of references from Homestuck, both panels and sprites, just so you know how The Huss would have done it. That might be more important for Act Omega since we’re trying so very hard to be as close to canon as humanly possible, but it’ll be very handy regardless.

What else is there… well, I could say some more stuff about the art style itself but I figure if you want to start a fanventure you’ll probably have the basics of that stuff down already.

Now, for what Joy had to say about editing images:“Say you need for example a scene on Prospit or Derse, then the process goes like this:1. Find an image (or images) on google that are generally of italian cities and cathedrals. A lot of iconic “Derse and Prospit” images actually come from pictures of the roof of the Milan cathedral, but generally you should get the gist with the Florence skyline and by cobbling together a bunch of cathedral images. 2. You want to use Photoshop tools like the magic wand or selection tool to cut out the sky and anything else that isn’t the actual building. Usually anyway depending on the image. If you have a picture with a bunch of tourists you could just crop them out or use the clone stamp tool to make them disappear oooooo.3. Turn the entire image grayscale, and (optional at this point but you might want to do it eventually) bump up the brightness and contrast. 4. Then you want to eye-drop pick from a canon Derse or Prospit image the light and dark Derse/Prospit colors. For prospit its like a bright saturated yellow and a more dark orange color? You can actually play around with the two colors you use to vary contrast and stuff if you’re putting together a bit scene. 5. Copy the cathedral layer and lock the opacity, put it above the original layer, and fill it with the solid light color. Set the layer mode to overlay.6. Do this again but with the darker color, and put it below the original layer.7. Lower the opacity of the original layer. It should start to look how hussie makes it look.8. Sometimes to give it an additional rough pixellated look, I’ll go to image>adjustments>posturize and play around with it. It gives the image some of that gif-ified look.But basically when it comes to hussie-fying images these are some of the basic main principles you want to keep in mind. The posturize effect, using overlay layers, and finding images and mashing them together creatively.

Also another key thing to note is that when you resize or transform things, there are different transformation MODES. In order to transform pixellated stuff, you want to use Nearest Neighbor. That will preserve sharp edges, but sometimes it can distort things and make it look weird. In situations like that Hussie often uses Bilinear instead, and then sharpens the transformed part. He usually ONLY does this when he is making things smaller or rotating them, not to enlarge anything, because then the blurred/sharpened-ness of it becomes way more obvious.This is honestly the best advice I can give. A lot of it is kind of fucking around with blending modes and layers until you get the right LOOK lol.”

(-Joyfulldreams 2017, give her a round of applause)

…So that’s pretty much some general technique pointers. I’ll post them publicly in case anyone else would like to know.I hope I haven’t just been stating the obvious here, wasn’t entirely sure what I could say that would really directly be helpful, but in any case, if you have any more specific questions you think I might be able to help with, please feel free to send me a PM.

[seotipsandtricks-me]

One thing I always loved about Star Trek was the maps of the galaxy they had on the bridge of the Starship Enterprise, showing and labeling the stars and planets of different alien civilizations. I loved the rich backdrop these maps put behind the show, making its futuristic premise of an explored galaxy of technologically advanced civilizations seem real. This map of the Star Trek galaxy from Star Trek online has all my old favourites – the Federation stars & planets in blue (that’s us), the Klingon Empire in red, and even the ultimate bad guys – the Borg – in Purple on the right. My current vocation of SEO hasn’t yet taken me to navigating the galaxy on a starship, but it has taken me deep into keyword market analysis – and that’s something that can be made to (sort of) look like it’s from Mr Data’s computer terminal on the Enterprise bridge. In SEO, keyword market analysis answers this question: What are people searching for online in relation to what you sell, and how often are they searching for those things? If you are running a website without this knowledge, it will be difficult to know which new pages to make or which existing ones to improve to achieve your growth goals in organic search. In this post, it is assumed you have already done this analysis in a spreadsheet, and having put your keywords into groups are now looking to present the findings about what the market looks like to your client visually. This post is about the market visualisation I like to use and how it’s made. If you haven’t got your keywords grouped yet, I recommend taking a look at the predecessor post to this one, how to easily group all your keywords. Market Map A Market Map is an image of a market. It’s like taking a shareable photo of what the market really looks like, as revealed by the keyword analysis you have done. This is what I mean by keyword analysis – a spreadsheet with keywords put into groups, and their search volumes. A market map turns a spreadsheet into a galaxy. In the image below: The lines show how the keyword groups are structured. The circles shows how popular these keyword groups are relative to each other by their size (also shown by label size) The colours represent the taxonomies and are customisable. The colours show the 2 main galactic empires in the venue space – ‘corporate’ & ‘non-corporate’. The circles show the relative search volume for corporate keywords e.g. ‘team building venue’ and non-corporate keywords e.g. ‘party venues bristol’, split into sub-groups that show market structure. Here’s a full size version that’s big enough to navigate like a galaxy (you may need to scroll around). Here’s a different industry twist on the same theme, this time for big tech – here’s the full size galaxy version. We can see who the big and small fry are at a glance. From big tech to broadway – your market map is an eagle eye view of any digital vertical. This one shows how popular the different shows are, relative to each other. Why use a Market Map? Keyword market analysis is how you know where to aim your search strategy. The Market Map communicates how you know this to anyone who would like to understand without asking the viewer to think about numbers, or requiring them to interact with a spreadsheet. As a single image, it can be physically pointed at, printed out and stuck on the fridge. A short verbal explainer of what the coloured structures mean is recommended beforehand. Once your audience is on board, you can sit down in the war room and strategise together for galactic domination. The astrometric data indicate that ‘Parties Near Me’ may be our best chance for success in this campaign Captain. No Excel or programming expertise is needed to make a market map. It takes 45 minutes to get familiar with a free graph making program called Gephi using the instructions in this post. Once you’ve learned it, you can churn these out in 20 minutes, depending on how much of a perfectionist you are. Delight your audience Keyword analysis spreadsheets are boring. Useful, sure. Profitable, definitely. You really should pay attention. Throw in some Excel charts and they’ve graduated from boring to a bit less boring. But still boring. The left brain is engaged and dutiful, but tired. The right brain wants to go play outside. I didn’t want to straw-man this one – it’s quite nice. But let’s face facts – it’s still a spreadsheet. I have to think about numbers. Meanwhile, outside… Edu-tain your audience and they’ll be grateful that you made their working day a bit more fun. They’ll have both brain hemispheres focused on your presentation and won’t have a memory of suffering associated with it. Give confidence without complication Once they’ve done their analysis, the analysts at a digital agency can communicate what they’ve found in a short email or phone call. It might be something as simple as ‘Focus on groups X, Y and Z in this order and follow our recommendations for implementation on this month-by-month’. But if I was paying for keyword analysis in my market, I’d want a little something more when it comes to the analysis part, because I’m not just paying for the answer – I’m paying for confidence and peace of mind. I need some understanding of why that answer is the answer, even if I’m a complete beginner in digital marketing. I want to rest easy with my own judgment satisfied, as well as putting my trust in the agency. At the same time, I’d prefer to avoid getting too deep into the numbers, and I can’t really spare the time to learn SEO myself. I don’t need all the details, just a good picture. Here’s how to make one. How to Make a Market Map for Your Client This 4 step process will require about 45 minutes of your time to learn. It is fiddly (Gephi is not very user friendly), but crucially, it does not require expertise in Excel or any coding knowledge. Turn your spreadsheet into a market map Here are the steps: Format your keyword market analysis data. Process this data using the Gephi data transformer Google sheet. Install Gephi and upload your newly processed data. Make your Market Map visualisation in Gephi. 1. Format your keyword market analysis data Most of the time, my keyword research has these columns in it from left to right: keyword, search volume, keyword group level 1 (e.g. item: theatre tickets), keyword group level 2 (e.g. show: matilda), keyword group level 3 (e.g. location: london) A Quick Recap on Keyword Grouping If you haven’t got your keywords grouped yet, I recommend reading this post about how to easily group all your keywords before proceeding. At Found we’ve moved our processes on a little since February when that post was written, with the arrival of the Keyword Categorizer. This tool in development is a custom-built solution to the problem of keyword categorization, which will soon provide the opportunity to perform the work for those who would prefer to operate outside of Excel. This is currently internal only, but here’s a sneak preview of this classy tool: Neat feature: The tool tokenizes and orders the words in your keyword list by frequency count, helping you with the first stage of the grouping So if you’ve got your keywords grouped, let’s continue. The Market Map visualisation deals in keyword groups, not keywords. So you don’t actually need your keyword column – just the search volume for each keyword, and the groups. Sound too easy? Yeah, it was. The groups need to also meet these criteria: The groups need to flow hierarchically from left to right, like the growing branches of a tree, without any blanks in the middle. Groups 1 and 2 shouldn’t have any blanks. If you have some rows containing blanks for these columns, replace them with ‘general’ or whatever works best. Group 3 can have blanks because it’s the end of the hierarchical line. Think of it like a tree – you can’t have leaves without the middle of the branch that supports them. But you can have branches without any leaves. 2. Process this data using the Gephi converter Google sheet. Gephi eats a special diet made up of 2 special csv files called Nodes.csv and Edges.csv. Nodes are the keyword groups themselves and their size, and edges are the map part – which nodes are connected to the other nodes based on the way the keyword groups have been hierarchically arranged in your spreadsheet. Turning keyword analysis spreadsheets into these 2 files is the biggest barrier to creating the Market Map. Here’s a converter that does this for you. It’s made in Google sheets to leverage the powerful Query functions that can automatically transform your keyword analysis data into the very specific format it needs to be in for Gephi to read it and make the Market Map. This should really be a web app. I grew to love Google sheets when making this after always having hated it for its latency issues. There is a lot of powerful functionality. Visit the Gephi converter here and follow the instructions. It will ask you to: Make your own copy of the Sheet first Follow the instructions Wait 5 minutes Download the 2 .csv output files Remember to make a copy first and work in the copy so the master isn’t overwritten! 3. Install Gephi So first you install the program, it’s free: https://gephi.org/users/install/ Gephi works with Java so you will need the most up to date version of Java installed and running on your system: https://www.java.com/en/download/ When I installed it and tried to open it, I got an error message and had to find, open up and edit a text file called gephi.conf in the Gephi folder: C:Program FilesGephi-0.9.2etc I needed to add the path to my java installation, which is in the double quotes on the first line below, and then save: jdkhome="C:Program Files (x86)Javajre1.8.0_191" # ${HOME} will be replaced by user home directory according to platform default_userdir="${HOME}/.${APPNAME}/0.9.2/dev" Hopefully you won’t get the error and can skip this. Be forewarned – Gephi is buggy so there’s a chance it might just not like your computer, but there are forum threads out there for most of these issues. So there might be a bit of Google searching and troubleshooting that you need to do before it works. Uploading your processed data to Gephi: Start Gephi Click new project Click data laboratory at the top Click Nodes on the left Click Import Spreadsheet and select your nodes.csv file that you created in the data converter. Click Next, Finish. You should see the below. Set Graph type to ‘Directed’ and select ‘append to existing workspace’, then click ok and you’ll see the finished Node table. Now, do the same for the edges.csv where the option exists, remembering to select ‘append to existing workspace’ in the same way. 4. Make your Market Map visualisation in Gephi Click overview, next to data laboratory. This is what you should see: Each dot is a keyword group, linked to its parent and child groups by the lines. We are the Borg. Remember us? We have assimilated Gephi now. Showing search demand Next, let’s tell Gephi to size the dots based on search demand. In Appearance in the top left: Select ‘Nodes’ Click the circles button Click Ranking just below Select ‘weight’ from the menu. Set max size to 100, then click Apply below. You should now be seeing something like this: Colour coding the keyword groups It’s all a bit black and white. Add a splash of colour by following these steps: In Appearance in the top left: Select ‘Nodes’ Click the paint palette button Click Partition just below Select ‘modularity’ from the menu. Then click ‘Apply’ below. Now there are colours that represent your keyword groups. Usually this is for the parent groups because having a special colour for each sub group starts to get silly. You can change them manually too if you want. Labeling the keyword groups At the moment you don’t know which group is which, although you can probably guess that the ridiculously huge one has the name ‘general’. This one’s simple, just a button click. Layout – Bringing it to life It’s all in a square right now – you can’t see anything really. So let’s play with the layout tab. Here is the recipe I use to create the Search Universe layout. Select Label Adjust from the Layout dropdown menu on the bottom left. Click ‘Run’. You’ll see the labels all spacing out nicely. Select ‘Yifan Hu Proportional’ at the bottom of the dropdown list and Run it as many times as it takes for it to start to look good. If it’s still looking bunched together, run Expansion or Label Adjust from the manu again a few times. When all is said and done, you should have something like this: The galaxy is taking shape. Bit it’s looking a bit rough around the edges. Now, up next to data laboratory, click on preview. Here, there are some options to help us to give the visualisation a professional finish. Finishing touches In the Preview area, there are some options to help us to give the visualisation a professional finish: Click Preview, next to data laboratory Click ‘Refresh’ at the bottom. The visualisation will appear, with some cool curved lines which create the galaxy effect. Tick ‘show labels’ on the left From the Presets dropdown menu at the top, click ‘Text outline’ Click ‘Refresh’ again. Plenty of options for you to customise the look and feel. You can have a black background if you want to. Export Your client probably doesn’t have Gephi installed, so you’re going to need to export what you have just masterfully created. To export, go to File at top left and choose the format you want. SVG – Huge, best quality but cumbersome, use for presenting. They do look good on the big screen, and you can make it look like you’re flying through the keyword groups. PNG – Small, a bit blurry, good for previews and not much else. PDF – Smaller but pretty nice quality, I like this one. And that’s how you make a Market Map. The post How to Make Your Market Analysis Look Like It’s From Star Trek appeared first on FOUND.

[waqasblog2]

SEO Checklist: Never Forget Anything About SEO Ever Again

Original Publish Date: May 8, 2015 Most Recent Update: January 16, 2019

Why You Need An SEO Checklist

Yup, never.

Some 8 years back, when I was just starting to get serious with this SEO thing, I scoured the Web for an SEO checklist that would help me remember all these new things that I was learning.

I found nothing.

Besides a list of linking strategies that included profile links, forum signatures and spamming bookmark sites, I never really did find a good one.

It would’ve made it exponentially easier for me to learn SEO if I could have printed out something and marked it off manually back then. I could review it, internalize it and plan out tasks better.

Time traveling to the present day: I snapped out of my unproductive daydream, I put my glass of wine down and I told myself to stop reminiscing about the past.

Then it dawned on me. Why not make one?

That small epiphany became this blog post and infographic. You can also download a bonus printable version at the end of the post, which includes local SEO checklists that aren’t in the infographic.

Click here to download a free SEO checklist that you can print out and use today, whether you are still learning the ropes or already running an SEO campaign. PLUS, bonus local SEO checklists that are not found in the infographic.

Grow your digital presence to get more leads with this FREE newsletter (and free resources)

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Share The Ultimate SEO Checklist Infographic On Your Site

</p><br /> <p><strong>Please include attribution to LeapFroggr.com with this graphic.</strong></p><br /> <p><a href=’https://www.leapfroggr.com/seo-checklist/’><img src=’http://128.199.238.119/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/Ultimate-SEO-Checklist.png’ alt=’The Ultimate SEO Checklist’ width=” border=’0′ /></a></p><br /> <p>

I wanted this SEO checklist infographic to be the longest infographic you’ve ever seen… literally.

I know the stats about how it’s not ideal. How it’s not the best thing to do and how stupid an idea that is to make such a long infographic.

Sometimes, you just need to do something different.

Besides wanting this to be remembered as the longest infographic about SEO ever, I wanted it to be REALLY useful.

There are a lot of people out there that can benefit from this, much like I would have if I am starting all over again today.

So, with that said, let’s get started with some quick explanations of why I think each one is important.

Research

Research is arguably the most boring part of SEO for many, but I personally love it. You have to embrace the research part to get a feel of what you are up against and what you will be doing.

Your whole SEO strategy will depend on your depth of understanding so DO NOT ever skip the research phase.

Market Research Market research gives you a feel of the whole landscape.

Chances are, you will be working on a more specific website. By doing market research, you open your mind to what’s out there, what they are doing, what’s working for them and so on.

Look around, vertically and horizontally. The information you learn here will come in handy when you start creating your SEO plan and link building strategy.

Niche Research It’s time to niche it down. Who are you going up against directly? What’s the overall state of the niche when it comes to SEO? What types of results is Google showing you when you search? Local? Maps? Mostly Yelp? Video dominates? Are news sites being shown?

Knowing these will help you prioritize what you need to do to get visibility as soon as possible.

Competitor Research Who are your direct competitors? What are they doing? How aggro are they?

Compile your direct competitors. Search using the keywords you are targeting on Google and list down all your competitors.

Compile their link profiles, identify which site is getting the most links, note down the link types they have and what their audiences are sharing.

Keyword Research Now that you have done your competitor research, you can use the data for this phase.

You’ll be able to see the keywords they are ranking for based on the anchor text from their links and you can use tools like SEMRush to find out what other keywords they are ranking for or bidding for.

Compile those keywords and add your target keywords into a list.

Whip out Google’s Keyword Planner, paste the keywords in and watch the magic happen.

You’ll get a ton of suggestions you would have never thought of in the first place.

Data Gathering Now, it’s time to start compiling the data you’ve researched and gather some actual stats about your website.

Compile the initial keywords and backlinks you’ve acquired from the research you’ve done above. Put them into organized lists.

You also need to answer things like: What’s the current status of your website vs your competitors? How optimized are their websites? How many links do they have now?

You need to activate Google Analytics so you can get data about the site you are working on.

You need to crawl the site you are working so you can have the data by the time you get to the on-page SEO phase.

Google Search Console

We love today’s version of Google Webmaster Tools. You can get a ton of data simply by using this.

You can:

Check for crawl errors

Check for penalties

Check if the sitemap has been submitted already

Check HTML improvements needed

Check for broken links

Grab all the data you can and fix them now or until you get to the on-page SEO phase.

Bonus: You might also want to submit your site to Bing’s Webmaster Center. Just for the sake of it. Just do it.

On-Page SEO

This often gets the most criticism from die-hard link builders but nowadays, a lot of them have come to accept on-page SEO as a major part of the overall SEO process.

Today, a lot of pages can rank purely from relevance and good on-page SEO work so never neglect it.

General

For those that are new to SEO, you might not be aware of some of these.

These are best practices that you must apply early on and throughout the life of your website.

The following items are very basic so if you have questions about any of these, please feel free to ask in the comments area.

Start with these:

Add an XML Sitemap

Add Navigation

Add Menus

Use Breadcrumbs

Add a Robots.txt file

Check for Canonical

No-index thin pages – Tags should definitely be no-indexed. Category pages that don’t have unique content should be as well.

Fix all the problems found in Webmaster Tools

Title – ensure keyword presence / check for H1 tag / use long-tail keywords

Check Meta Tags

Fix all pages missing Meta Titles (Stick to 60 characters)

Fix all pages missing Meta Descriptions (Stick to 150 characters or less)

Fix all images missing Alt Text

Check h# tags (e.g. <h1>, <h2>, etc.)  and order them properly.

Optimize Content

Now it’s time to check your site’s existing content.

For many of you, you will be thrown into a project for big website that’s pretty messed up, with content that has been built over the years.

Do not be afraid to change the content if it will improve it and do not hesitate to cull those worthless pages.

Review Visual Design

Keywords

LSI keywords – Use LSI keywords to make your content more relevant.

Publish the usual static pages (Privacy/Terms/Sitemap/About/Contact/Etc.)

“Try” to keep indexed pages static

Refresh or update your site’s content regularly

Monitor Bounce Rate

Externalize Code (CSS)

Performance Tweaks

The performance of your website is IMPORTANT, especially in today’s SEO landscape.

Though the Mobilegeddon update has been underwhelming so far, it will become more important as time goes by so fix your website today.

Check multi-browser-friendliness

URL Optimization

Your URL structure can be easily neglected but it can have a good impact on your rankings and even user re-call.

The best practice is to keep it as short as possible, aim for below 100 characters.

Incorporate primary keywords into the URL

Use absolute URLs

Simplify dynamic URLs with mod_rewrite (Say no to dynamic URLs when possible)

Use 301 redirects for rewritten URLs

Set up non-www to www redirect (or vice versa)

Using Schema

Less than 30% of the websites out there actually use it. Take advantage of that. Schema is here to stay. It doesn’t mean that it’s useless because Google Authorship is dead.

Though its direct impact to SEO is still not actually “proven” in a concrete way, it’s indirect effects are actually very obvious.

Whatever you believe, like I always say, optimize everything and you will succeed in SEO.

Refine/add markup for possible schema (Official Logo, Articles, etc)

I highly recommend that you check out SEOGadget’s (ok, BuiltVisible, I miss the name…) guide on schema over here.

Off-Page SEO

Clearly the most popular part of SEO is your off-page work, more commonly referred to as link building. It is where you want to spend the bulk of your time besides planning and creating your content.

Some of the strategies below are old-school, some are new and some are really niche specific. If you have question, feel free to ask them in the comments area or you can start a new conversation over here.

Set Up Brand Alerts Setting up Google Alerts, TalkWalker and Mention are practically staples in any SEO campaign today. Moz also has neat built-in tracking tool, so if you are a subscriber, be sure to make use of that.

The reason you’d want to do this is that you want to know immediately when someone mentions your brand (and any other relevant keywords) anywhere in the Internet.

This allows you to track your reviews, negative press, blog mentions, forum questions and more! You’ll have the chance to get a backlinks by jumping in early and you also get to build better brand loyalty by showing that you care enough to respond to their posts or issues.

Find Unlinked URL’s and Brand Mentions If you are working on an established site, then chances are, there will be a ton of unlinked mentions out there for you to take.

Tip: There are a lot of ways but start with the simplest method by using Google

Brand -Brand.com (LeapFroggr -leapfroggr.com)

Competing Company Links Find your competitors, look around vertically and horizontally in your niche and category.

Compile them and check their links. Then go out and get those links. They got it, why can’t you?

Ranking Competitor Links Search for your target keywords and find those direct-ranking competitors. Chances are, you won’t see a lot of them during your competitor research phase.

Now compile these sites and check their backlinks.

Find Important Links Using Link Intersects Basically, you want to find the links that already link to your competitors.

Why? There’s a higher chance that you can get those links quickly.

You can use Excel after you export your competitor backlinks to see which domains link to them but for those rare SEO’s that don’t really like spreadsheets (like me) – then CognitiveSEO has a tool for it, so does Link Research Tools and as well as Moz.

Create Social Media Profiles Create your social properties and make sure to put a link back to your website.

If you can’t use them yet, then treat it mainly for branding purposes and to reserve the name when the time comes that you might actually need them.

Broken Link Building Broken link building is basically a strategy to start a conversation with a webmaster.

You give them something and they might eventually do you a favour. That’s the basic idea.

Knowing that, you can get creative with it. Here’s a great article from Erika about broken link building.

Richard Marriott over at Clambr also put up an awesome tutorial.

Utilizing Relevant Pinterest Boards Join or ask to get invited on Pinterest Group Boards. PinGroupie is a good place to start.

True, Pinterest links are no-follow for the most part but Pinterest can bring you tons of traffic and visibility.

You will get links that you would never get by doing normal link prospecting. You can even take it a step further and check the people that shared your pin and reach out to them. You can message with people directly in Pinterest now, just in case you haven’t been using it lately.

Join Expert Roundups Expert roundups are a dime a dozen nowadays and they are getting bigger and bigger each day just to stand out and squeeze out the most social shares.

You don’t have to join all of them but you should join some of them.

For the most part, these are on blogs with their own readership, so it’s a chance for you to get your brand out there and eventually pull in more links.

Oh, you can also be the one to do expert roundups and offer that as part of your outreach. Lots of people will link to it if you use a proper angle for the roundup.

Guest Posting on Influencer Websites Guest posting is not dead. They should rephrase that.

It’s more like guest posting on blatantly fake blog networks is almost dead.

People keep complaining about it but it really isn’t dead. In fact, it’s more important and more precious now than ever.

Find the right sites, build the right connections and create great content for their audience without over-using anchor text.

Blog Commenting To Build Relationships

Blog comment links are mostly no-follow. The real value is in the relationships that are formed.

I’ve met a ton of people simply by doing guest commenting and I got connected with new people that eventually linked to me because I took a bit of my spare time to build these relationships.

I met Matt Capala through blog commenting and he has sent business my way and exclusive connections. (Blatant Plug: Buy his book.)

Some relationships are started through email, some are started by joining local networking events and some can be started simply by blog commenting.

If you want to learn by example, my friends Adrienne, Donna, Harleena, Sue, Don, Carol and Ryan are great people to learn from.

Utilize Quote Directories Sounds funny, but there are many quote directories out there that can be used for links.

Since we are talking about directories, go ahead and look for blog directories, startup directories and niche specific directories. The links can be acquired easily and for the most part, free.

Get on Sites that Offer Awards If you are running a pet website, then you can find sites that offer awards both locally and internationally. Run a service business? There are plenty of business awards you can join. If you run a blog, go out and find sites that offer blog awards. Run a podcast? There are awards for that, too.

In many cases, being nominated can get you a link already… but do try to win so you can show off the award and get other perks.

Contribute to Newsletters Consider this as a way for you to get your brand out there. It’s also a way to get targeted traffic and acquire loyal readers.

So where does the SEO part come in? You can find sites that would allow you to publish content exclusively for their subscribers. It’s like guest posting but only through an exclusive list of people.

You can also get on newsletter publishers that publish recommended content each month. Many of their subscribers use the newsletter content when publishing their monthly or weekly link roundups on their own blogs. That’s where your link is going to come from!

As a side benefit, believe it or not, some people will copy the newsletter content directly and paste it on their site.

Get on Institution Websites Confused? These are also known as .gov and .edu links.

I could talk about hacking their sites, I could talk about manipulating their Moodle platforms and others but…this is sort of a white-hat blog.

The traditional way is to get on their resource page. You can also offer work to them in exchange for a link. One of my older tricks is to track down the student editor and give him beer money.

The .Gov sites will sometimes have forums that give do-follow links. Sometimes you can be a supplier to a project or event depending on your niche. It can open lots of doors for you if you do it the right way.

Get Links from Local Chamber of Commerce Websites Local CoC websites are plenty but the rules are different for each one.

In most cases, it’s pretty easy to get links from them. Just ask what you want do for them or what their requirements are.

Don’t Overlook New Bloggers New bloggers are going to look for mentors. They look for people that are already where they want to be. They will ask questions and they will need guidance.

If you have people following you or somebody emails you, do not hesitate to help them out. Relationships built out this way can net you links you will never really get by simply doing prospecting.

Also, when building out your prospecting list, you will encounter new blogs. Do not hesitate to reach out to them. It doesn’t mean that they don’t have readers and it doesn’t mean that the link you’ll get is worthless since they are a PR-0 site.

Often, these bloggers have really die-hard followers that jump on any recommendation they make and these followers are usually bloggers too. Imagine the extra links you’ll get.

Oh, and in time, the link you get will become more important as they become more important in the space.

Do Guest Podcasting Podcasting is BIG right now and 99% of the time, these podcasters have their own blogs so they can put the show notes there. You don’t have to even start your own podcast.

The idea here is to get on those podcasts. That’s a 100% sure, high quality link.

Submit to Curating Platforms Curating platforms like Scoop.it can share your content out and link back to you. In many cases, these are no-follow links but they have users of their own. Plus these users that curate have blogs. The things they curate get sent to their blogs and their readers get to find your content because of their referral.

My personal favourite is Flipboard. It has brought me a ton of traffic already and readers actually do stick around.

Use LinkedIN Pulse I only just started with LinkedIN Pulse but it’s pretty good so far.

The reason isn’t really for the link, but for the brand visibility. You can assume that the people that follow you and see your work on LinkedIN already have their own social presence online. They might also have blogs.

With my few articles so far, I have gotten some new links because they found my site from my LinkedIN posts.

Plus, you can republish your content on LinkedIN Pulse so it’s not really duplicate content. I don’t do this but a lot of other people do. Maybe you should try it out.

For tips, Paul Shapiro made the best article about it (ever) over here at Noah Kagan’s blog.

Get on Publisher Websites I consider the top tier publishing sites here, such as Entrepreneur, HuffPo, BusinessInsider and more. Depending on your niche, you will find other really big publishers so make sure to get on them.

I also consider the viral sites, like Buzzfeed, under this category. The normal way to get on these sites is to write on their backend and try hard to get your work on the main site. If not, then it won’t really be indexed.

If you want to be creative, my favorite tactic to get on these viral sites is to start from the smaller blogs and work my way up. I spread news or rumors on smaller blogs that I know these viral sites take news from. Once it’s picked up, you push it again on the next level and things will again, snowball from there.

Find Community Websites Community sites like  and Kingged can give you some good initial traction. You’ll be able to meet new people, share your work, gain visibility and eventually, links.

Don’t Forget StumbleUpon and Reddit If you look at the StumbleUpon idea, it can look so Web1.0 but it can still bring in good traffic. Their Ad platform is also good if you plan it out right and know how to get it to catch on. Once it does, it will snowball. You’ll get links, one way or another. One of the people I’ve been following since forever is Ross Hudgens. They put out this cool guide about SU that you can check out here.

As for Reddit, it is only getting hotter so people can say whatever they want about how worthless it is for SEO but for me, Reddit has brought my sites tons of traffic and netted me links from hardcore, badass sites. Ain’t too shabby. Plus, it can do this…thanks for the spot Dan.

Find Uncredited Images It’s inevitable.

People will steal your images. Steal? Sounds harsh. Well, sometimes bloggers just grab it off Google images. It’s a completely innocent thing to do so I understand.

Good thing we know SEO! That practically means a free link in my eyes.

Use Google’s image search and upload a photo. It’ll show you places where the image was used. You can also use Tineye to do this.

Oh, infographic promotion can fall under this as well.

Submit to Slideshare If you do speaking gigs, present to your company or other groups, then you probably have a collection of slide decks. Simply use sites like Slideshare and share your content there!

Do you create blog posts? Repurpose your blog content into slides!

Need more Slideshare tips and tricks? Then get it from no other but the queen herself, Ana Hoffman from TGC.

Note: You can also submit PDF’s to Slideshare but there are also places to submit PDF’s so you can share your book or whitepaper to the world.

Get on Magazine and News Sites Local ones will tend to be easier to get featured on to but bigger, global news sites are still possible. It will just take a bit more work and patience.

What I do is to find the editor or a connection to the editor. Once I get introduced, it’s easy to submit a piece and get a piece published.

Joining HARO, which will be mentioned shortly, can also help you get on some of these sites.

Find Resource Pages Resource pages is one of the oldest plays in the book and it’s still one of my favorites.

Why? Competitors neglect them and I don’t have to worry about content. Easy, relevant links. Boom.

Join HARO and Participate Help A Reporter Out aka HARO is one of the best ways to get free press.

You get emails with different topics. You reply to the reporter and send an expert direct-to-the-point answer.

HARO isn’t the only game in town, I listed down some of the others here.

Here’s a tip: Use your mail to filter out the daily emails to find relevant phrases or words so you don’t have to check each one.

Use and Monitor Hashtags like #PRRequest Besides HARO type sites, there are hashtags out there that are used by journalists. It’s a way for them to get stories and participants. You can tweet out your topic with the hashtag or just monitor it.

Again, much like HARO, you need to pick your spots and be patient with this. Once it works for you, it’s gold.

Do a Link Bait You basically write about something controversial, something timely, something that’s not the norm. Put it out in front of the right people and BAM! You get links!

I covered it a bit more on this post.

Create Badges This is old school but still effective today, especially for certain niches today.

You create a gimmick badge, you share it to the community with a link back to you to show their support or to brag about their level in the community.

It’s sort of like those blog directories that want you to put their link on your site first to confirm your ownership. Then you forget to remove the badge and you just gave them a free link.

Find Links Pointing to Your Social Media Account but Not Your Website This is simple yet highly neglected.

By doing a simple backlink check on your own social profiles, you can dig out some pretty easy links.

To take this a step further, compile your competitor’s social accounts and check their links.

Use a Service? Submit a Testimonial! If you use a service or bought a course or maybe you are a member of a group/newsletter, then you can try to share your learnings, testimonials and results to the owner.

If you are purely in this for the link, which I know you are, then make sure the site you are contacting has a testimonial area.

For a more extensive process, Bryan Harris, THE poster boy, explains this like no other.

Support Crowd Funding Projects I mentioned it briefly here but I have talked about this on the newsletter pretty extensively in the past.

You basically find crowd funding projects that offer a link from their websites. You support them and get the link when they go live.

Charities to Support There are tons of charities you can support. Look around your local area and find those with websites.

Of course, you need to be aligned with their vision. >_>

Q&A Sites Q&A sites are mostly no-follow links but they bring in relevant traffic. They also rank pretty well and can get you spots in Google’s results.

That way, you can get more visibility, new users and eventually, new links.

Find Forums Forum links are not dead. They are still really nice and they still bring in targeted traffic.

You just need to look for relevant forums and jump into the conversation… or you can manufacture a way to start a conversation and jump in later to pitch your link.

Google removed my fav filter, which is “discussions” so just for you, here’s my secret. This nifty Chrome plugin.

Note: Just don’t go out there buying mass forum signature and profile links.

Research How an Author Did it I love this technique because I can sort of see how someone I look up to got to where he is today.

I could see how hard they worked, how they did it, the creativity they showed and more!

I could then do something similar and set myself apart from what he already did.

I talked about this extensively on the newsletter and I mentioned it on my post over here.

Supplier Websites This is mainly for e-commerce websites where you have suppliers that have sites. Just ask for those links.

If you are a business or a blog and have someone you work with that has a site, then you can also ask for a link from them. Easy, high quality links are always welcome.

Do Successful Content BETTER As mentioned in my previous post, my go-to strategy when it comes to link building is simply just doing better content than what’s already working out there and get all their links!

It basically means that people are interested and you can get those links.

Brian Dean calls this the Skyscraper Technique so if you want to learn more about this, check out his blog post!

Comment Scouting Comment scouting is a way for me to simply get ideas from the comments area (be it in my own blog or another blog) and create content for whatever the need I see there.

Then you contact the commenters and commenters on other blog posts with a similar topic.

I am creating a post about this and I’ll be posting it soon. Signup for our newsletter so you never miss an update!

③⓪① Build Category Specific Sites – 301 Them Category pages on a website are probably the hardest pages to get links for. E-commerce sites will benefit from getting links to these pages greatly so one way of getting links is by creating separate websites.

Cultivate them, get them links and then 301 those domains to your main category. #WIN

Since you read all the way here, here are a few bonus strategies that aren’t in the infographic!

Speaking and Conference Links Volunteer to speak in front of an organization or a conference. That’s almost a guaranteed link.

Does the conference have sponsors? They probably mentioned the conference on their website as well. Ask for a link back to your site!

Management and Sponsor Links Let’s say you are working on a celebrity’s site, then get a link from her agency’s site. Get links from her sponsors and magazines that mention her.

Are you getting paid to show off products? Get links from your sponsor’s website!

WikiPedia There are certainly different ways to get WikiPedia links. Knowing a moderator, sheer luck or WikiGrabber.

Use it and find a way to get a link. Don’t forget your etiquette.

Infographic Links Lastly, infographic promotion. Submit it to directories, reach out to sites that already publish infographic posts or sites that can be granted exclusivity.

It’s really a versatile way to build links so you can get really creative with it.

BTW, if you liked this infographic, please use our embed code that you saw at the bottom of the infographic.

Tell us about it and we’ll help you promote it. We’ll even write a unique intro for you!

Everything Else

Once you get to this point, it’s basically icing on the cake. Most of these are things that can’t be qualified under the categories above.

Some are minor, some are really vital once you start ranking and some are just for maintenance.

Social Media

I had to start it off with this.

When it comes to discussing social media’s direct effect to SEO, it will almost always be controversial. No matter what people say, social media is a part of our online and offline brands moving forward.

For me, social media does not have a direct effect, but a more indirect one. Actually, there are plenty of indirect ones!

The point of this being included here in the checklist is that you need to make sure that your website is set up properly and linked to your brand’s official social platforms.

Create those social media accounts – these basically help with SEO indirectly as they carry your brand name.

Adding social sharing buttons can potentially help you acquire new users and eventually links.

Link these social media accounts to your website – For example, Google+ can ask you to verify your site and page.

Also, you can use Schema to link your official social profiles.

Conversion Rate Optimization

CRO, which is an art on it’s own, does have processes that affect your overall SEO. Plus, it doesn’t hurt to convert more of your existing visitors.

Some of the things you need to do are:

Continue to speed up your website

Check your bounce rates

Be sure you don’t cause duplicate content when A/B testing

Track if you are ranking the correct page (that is converting)

Sound familiar? They should be.

Knowledge Graph

The knowledge graph is still a mystery for many. If your brand is still not an entity within the Knowledge Graph, then you need to start taking some steps to include yourself there.

Start by getting a Freebase account (by the time you read this, Google might have moved over to WikiData)

Check out Andrew Isidoro’s post as well as Krystian Szastok’s post.

Rank Tracking

Rank tracking is not as talked about as it used to be but if you are serious about your SEO work, then it’s still a must.

The Google Webmaster Tools data you get about your rankings are simply an average of where you place.

If you want more accurate data, be it local or country specific, then you need to track it yourself, be it using software (we use Rank Tracker and Advanced Web Ranking) or one of the many cloud hosted rank tracking tools out there.

Just to throw it in here: I get this question a lot. Does it hurt your ranking if you keep checking the rankings daily? I haven’t seen any evidence of it as I track things pretty aggressively.

Reputation Management

Skeptical?

Let’s start by mentioning that you need to claim your brand’s identity everywhere. It will save you a ton of time and headaches in the future when the brand you are working on is big enough.

You also need to monitor mentions about your brands either to stop negative things from escalating or get links.

So, can online reputation management be a part of SEO? Definitely.

Ongoing Server Configuration Checks

Your server will need to be tweaked regularly. Especially as you grow your traffic more and more.

The last thing you want is a slow site or a site that is down for long periods of time.

Things can get misconfigured, it’s just the way it is so doing regular checks are important.

Other Avenues to Improve Branding Online

You can do more besides traditional link building.

You can build up your brands on different ecosystems that are also crawled by Google.

From YouTube, to Apple and even Amazon. These are all major search engines on their own and building your brand within them can add to your SEO… and they take up space in Google’s results so that’s another bonus for you.

Keep Up with New Google Guidelines

Google’s guidelines will keep on changing. It’s just the nature of the game.

If you don’t monitor SEO news regularly, make it a point to pick your favorite SEO websites and subscribe to their newsletter (like ours) or RSS feed. Schedule a time in the month to do quick reading sessions to keep yourself up to date.

Schedule On-Page SEO Checks

As you publish more and more content, things can get lost in the shuffle.

Maybe you don’t have a system in place yet for other authors that publish within your site. Maybe you are just forgetful when it comes to SEO and just want to focus on creating content.

Doing a regular on-page SEO checkup will only help you in the long run so don’t overlook this.

Screaming Frog is our favorite but Google Webmaster Tools can also give you some good data.

Schedule Regular Backlink Profile Checks

This is probably the most ignored thing EVER. I cannot stress the importance of this especially if you are already working on a popular site or a competitive market.

Things can go wrong rather quickly (penalty/de-indexed) or it can be the reason why your site is being held back from improving in the rankings.

Checking your link profile regularly will help you see what’s wrong. Maybe you are over using your anchor text, maybe somebody is sending you spammy links or maybe you just aren’t doing enough.

I would suggest using and even Google Webmaster Tools when doing link profile checks.

Now Here’s How You Can Put It to Use

As I mentioned earlier in the article, we created a FREE SEO checklist that you can download and print out.

It’s basically a group of printable checklists, including 2 checklists for on-page and off-page local SEO.

Here’s where you can download the checklist:

Grow your digital presence to get more leads with this FREE newsletter (and free resources)

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[daresplaining]

“Double Vision”: The (Re)birth of Mike Murdock

    So. I’ve talked about this story arc a lot. Heck, I devoted a whole tag to it. But does that mean I’m not going to take the opportunity to talk about it again? Hell no! Let’s take another look at the three best issues of Soule’s run, and-- to my mind, without hyperbole-- one of the greatest Daredevil stories ever written.

    I feel like every Daredevil fan is, on some level, a Mike Murdock fan (unless you’re a Daredevil fan who hates fun, in which case... I’m terribly sorry). I’ve loved Mike for years. He is the icon image for this blog. I dress up as him at comic book conventions. I find him fascinating, and read/wrote essays about him long before I had any inkling that he might ever, uh... experience a resurgence. I’m not trying to claim I’m somehow extra qualified to write about this story arc, but this should at least put into context the glee I expressed the moment the solicitations for Daredevil #606 and 607 dropped last May. And while my expectations were all over the place, the actual story Charles Soule and Phil Noto served up somehow surpassed them.

    I will say this upfront: there are a few plot points in this story that don’t involve Mike Murdock. I won’t be discussing them. This post is going to be long enough as it is. 

    This story arc temporarily derails (in a good way) the overarching plot for the last eighteen issues of Soule’s run--  the Kingpin becoming the mayor of New York City. (To be clear, it’s a perfectly good story arc, but no story is too good to be derailed by Mike Murdock.) At the end of #605, this plot kicks into its final stage when Matt discovers concrete evidence that Fisk rigged the election. Thus, #606 begins with him putting together a task force to build a case against Fisk, in the process of which he makes a life-altering decision: he gives Reader some of his case files. 

Frank: “Reader’s a little rough around the edges, but he comes in handy. Trust me.”

Matt: “No, definitely. I appreciate the help. I’ll have Murdock send over the case files he’s put together so far-- he even has some background material in braille for Reader.”

    Reader is another character invented by Charles Soule (he first appeared in Soule’s Inhuman run), and since he is both a great character and blind, it was nice to see him cross over into Daredevil. And of course, he is extra welcome because he made this whole story arc possible.

    I’ve read this issue countless times, but on my latest re-read I wanted to try something new: to read it as if I hadn’t seen the solicitation. Because here’s the thing-- as exciting as that solicitation was, it spoiled the main event. I went into this thing knowing what was going to happen, and in doing so, I missed out on Soule’s excellent work at crafting his big plot twist. 

Matt: “I need to get smart. Try to get ahead of the criminals, anticipate their moves instead of just reacting. Only trouble is, they’re not real likely to be forthcoming about their plans with Daredevil or hero ex-mayor Matt Murdock. On the other hand, that’s not my only play. Perhaps it’s time for an old friend... to make his triumphant return.”

Mike: “~She grows up... all too soon... She grows up... and the light of the moon...~ Dos tequila mas, if you please.”

Bartender: “All right, shooter, but you got some tough characters in this bar. You puke on someone in here, they’re liable to rip your throat out. And then I’ll bill you for the cleanup.”

Mike: “Don’t worry, pal. I’m a redhead.”

    To start, the timeline in this issue is non-linear. It bounces back and forth between Matt’s confrontation with Hammerhead and his meeting with the anti-Fisk task force. This sets up the idea that events might be happening in a different order than they appear, and prompts the reader to think that the above transition between Matt swinging through the city and Mike getting drunk in the bar is a timeskip. We’re supposed to assume that Mike is Matt. 

    There are a few other details specifically tailored to bolster this illusion. One is Mike singing the Dazzler song “Light of the Moon”, which is the same song Matt mentions hearing during his conversion with Frank McGee earlier in the issue. Another is Matt’s deceptive line: “They’re not real likely to be forthcoming about their plans with Daredevil or hero ex-mayor Matt Murdock. [...] Perhaps it’s time for an old friend... to make his triumphant return”. By using this line to introduce Mike’s scene, Soule is pretty much confirming that this is Matt in the bar, using an alias to go undercover in the criminal underworld. And it’s a logical assumption to make-- he also used the Mike identity (if not the personality) when he took out a hit on himself earlier in the run (in issue #15-- see below). In fact, it’s possible that Matt was indeed planning to do this again, before getting interrupted by the real Mike. (Imagine if Matt had strolled into that bar as Mike... and Mike was already there. That would have been amazing too.)

Freddy: “So... you come to Freddy Thick wanting to arrange a little hit, eh? A little erasure. What did you say your name was again?”

Matt: “Mike.”

    And of course, logic takes the reader the rest of the way. This is obviously Matt. Who else could it be? 

Mike: “Hey there. I’m Mike. Mike Murdock.”

    (Is this an audience stand-in? The 616 version of me? Because those are the same exact faces I make when I see Mike.) 

    If anyone reading this has not read the original Mike Murdock Saga (Daredevil volume 1 #25-41), please do so. It’s wild and wonderful. Here is a summary, and Soule and Noto were also nice enough to provide an overview at the beginning of #607 (more on that later). For the purposes of this post, I would like to highlight the similarities between 1960s Mike Murdock (a.k.a. Matt as Mike) and modern Real Boy Mike Murdock, so I’ll just provide an example of some classic Mike goodness. 

Mike (Matt): “Groovy, gang! I’d have felt too conspicuous makin’ the expo scene in my Daredevil duds!”

Foggy: “You’re hardly a shrinking violet in that sport jacket, Murdock!”

Karen: “It’s so good to be together again!”

Daredevil vol. 1 #34 by Stan Lee, Gene Colan, and John Tartaglione

    (Context: Mike, Karen, and Foggy went on vacation without Matt. What jerks!)

    Matt in the 60s spent his civilian life being as quiet and unassuming as possible to avoid drawing attention to his powers and superheroics. Thus, as his “twin brother”, he took advantage of the opportunity to be the exact opposite. Mike was obnoxious, boastful, flirtatious, in-your-face. He wore eye-searing outfits (intentionally, I should clarify) to contrast with Matt Murdock’s businesslike wardrobe, and he had a casual, slang-filled way of speaking. He occasionally burst into song. He could see. And, of course, he was also not-so-secretly Daredevil.  

    There is so much inherent nuttiness in Mike’s character that I was curious-- and a little nervous-- about how much of it might be lost in his translation to the modern era. As it stands, I’m really impressed with how well Soule pulled it off. I recently had the opportunity to ask him about his approach to reinventing Mike, and I’m going to share as much of the quote as I can, because I find it hilarious. 

“I [initially] thought he was like Matches Malone [one of Batman’s alter egos]-- like he was cool. Like, he would go and be the guy in the bars and beat people up and be all gruff. That is not what Mike Murdock was at all! And so I was like, I’m gonna bring Mike Murdock back [...], I’ve got to figure out a way to do this that makes him cool for now. [...] And I was thinking [...] Matt is so locked down and so focused and so driven, what if he has a shitty brother who always fucks everything up and gets drunk a lot, and always thinks he’s cool and is on the same level as Matt, but he’s not and is just a dick? He’s just a dick! Because, you know, people have siblings who are dicks sometimes. [...] And so I thought it’d be fun for Matt Murdock, who has basically no family really, to give him a family member that kind of has his heart in the right place but is also a total trainwreck.” 

    In my opinion, he pretty much nailed it. Soule’s Mike is very much a modern translation of the original 60s persona, and the bar scene does a perfect job of introducing him in all his glory. He's obnoxious. He’s flirty. He may not say “groovy” anymore, but he still speaks in a casual, slang-y, slightly outdated way that somehow still sounds like Mike, even though the exact phrases are different. Heck-- he even sings! The most notable superficial difference is the clothing; modern Mike’s outfit is almost aggressively dull. I also asked Soule about that, on a different occasion (it’s possible he now knows me as That Weird Mike Murdock Nerd, but I think I’m okay with that) and he gave a jokey answer, and then I asked Noto (I don’t think he knows me as That Weird Mike Murdock Nerd... yet...), and he essentially confirmed my theory: There are serious elements to this story that would have been weakened by putting Mike in a funny outfit. I completely understand that, and I think they made the right decision-- though I do think he could have at least kept his 60s fedora without ruining the mood. That could have been a nice compromise, and we know Matt still has it, so it would have even helped maintain the initial illusion that Mike is Matt...

    Regardless, as discussed, the uninformed reader should have no idea while reading the comic that this isn’t actually Matt putting on an act. But as the scene progresses, strange details start emerging that hint at the truth. They are slipped in-- not blatantly obvious, just weird incongruences, things that make you start to wonder... 

Mike: “Matt Murdock’s a bastard! Can I get an amen, people? Now, if you’ll excuse me... I believe I was attempting to sleep with your wife.”

    (By the way, take a good look at how happy Mike is here, because his brother is about to show up and ruin his life.) 

    This is the big one. According to Matt’s plan as laid out earlier in the issue, he is in this bar to mingle with the villain community and figure out where they might strike next. Loudly insulting Matt Murdock makes perfect sense as an attempt to prove he’s on their side. But the home-wrecking? Not so much. If this is Matt, he’s not making friends here. He’s not blending in. He is being oddly promiscuous (even for Matt) and antagonistic. He is going way off-plan. 

    And just as non-solicitation-readers might start to wonder what is going on with Matt... Daredevil appears on the scene, walks into the bar, and gives us this beautiful, hilarious, mind-boggling reveal:  

Mike: “Man, I just cannot get that song out of my head. It’s a nightmare. Seriously. Can’t even remember where I heard it. Well, as I live and breathe! You’re Daredevil, right? Friend of my brother, if I don’t miss my guess. Real pleasure to meet you at last. Name’s Mike Murdock.”

    SURPRISE! IT’S NOT MATT!!!

    I wish I hadn’t known. I wish I’d been allowed to experience this plot twist as it was intended to be experienced. Because it is exquisite. 

    Speaking of exquisite......

    This is one of my favorite Daredevil covers. Look at this! The artistry! His facial expression! Matt’s facial expression! Phil Noto rocked this entire story arc, and I can’t believe his beautiful work was chosen to depict Mike freakin’ Murdock, who has never looked better. Noto’s art elevates this story beyond the already-lofty heights of Soule’s writing, and makes many of its biggest emotional beats possible. Thank you, Phil Noto. Thank you, Marvel.

    Fortunately, the next issue picks up exactly where the first left off, with just a brief interlude to sum up the Mike Murdock Saga for those not fortunate enough to have read it. It’s a great summary, enhanced by Noto’s skillful recreations of noteworthy scenes-- originally drawn by Gene Colan-- from the story. Fortunately, this creative team does not shy away from the wackiness of this plotline. In fact, it is emphasized in this summary, which is important. Wackiness is a major part of the Mike Murdock Saga, after all. 

    Having provided this context, Soule and Noto then thrust us back into the mystery of how Mike is suddenly a real person. Matt is bewildered, and reacts with increasing frustration and alarm as the situation refuses to resolve itself.

Matt: “Are you the Chameleon?”

Mike: “Chameleon? What do you--?”

Matt: “Mystique? A Life-Model Decoy? Some sort of stupid magical crap?”

Mike: “Now, hold on there, pal. You’re getting, uh, pretty menacing here, and I’m not really sure what your problem is. So why don’t you just back off, before I, uh, before I--”

Matt: “WHAT IS THIS?”

    Matt’s bafflement is entertaining. It’s clear he has no idea how to react, and is just compensating for his confusion by being confrontational and indignant. But this also kicks off one of the key factors in this story’s success: the depiction of Mike as a hapless victim. As much as this moment emphasizes Matt’s confusion, it also emphasizes Mike’s. He has no idea how to react to a superhero-- with whom he was being very friendly!-- yelling wild accusations at him. Matt is physically and verbally imposing in this interaction; the three narrow panels and then the final close-up create a sense of crowding, as Matt takes up more and more of Mike’s personal space. Mike isn’t even in the second panel because Matt has forced him backwards. The dialogue builds on this idea of the power imbalance. Mike’s response is all nervous posturing; he’s clearly frightened, and tries to hide it underneath a failed attempt at bravado. 

    This confrontation also brings up a curious detail in this reinvention of Mike: the fact that he doesn’t know that his brother is Daredevil, and doesn’t have memories of being Daredevil himself. The entire reason Matt invented Mike in the first place was to give DD a “real” alter ego and thereby draw suspicion away from himself, and the wider Marvel universe still believes that the first Daredevil was the sadly-deceased Mike Murdock. But Real Boy Mike’s existence contradicts this; he has no knowledge of/experience with Daredevil beyond an awareness that DD and his brother are friends. I have to assume this choice was made for the sake of simplicity (Mike being Daredevil would have complicated the story), and it doesn’t bother me much. I am, however, eagerly waiting for Mike to discover his brother’s alter ego, because come on! He should know. 

Matt: “First things first, get ‘Mike Murdock’ out of the line of fire. I’ve still got questions for him.”

Mike: “Oof!”

     We then get an inconsequential fight with some low-level villains (Speed Demon and Overdrive! Sinister Six reunion! You’ve all read Superior Foes of Spider-Man, right?) and some questionable combat physics. But I love Matt tossing Mike over the bar because it’s goofy and slapstick. This story does a fantastic job of balancing the poignant with the absurd; on the one hand it’s an emotional story of family and personhood... on the other hand, it’s about Mike, the Murdock family pussycat. I would have been disappointed if it had been devoid of humor, and this is a great little humorous moment. 

    We also learn that Mike lacks Matt’s fighting skills; he can still hold his own, but as he tells Matt, he can’t do “all that ninja business”. This ties into the idea that this version of Mike wasn’t Daredevil, and further separates him from Matt, it’s interesting that Soule chose to draw the line there. On the other hand, it does feel in-character for Mike to be a scrappy, dirty brawler, and this bolsters the power imbalance between him and Matt. 

Mike: “Some dirtbag comes after you, you put him down on the ground and you make sure he ain’t gonna stand up again anytime soon. My dad taught me that.”

Matt: “Your dad, huh?”

Mike: “Yeah. Battlin’ Jack Murdock. Toughest guy in the whole damn city. Ever heard of hi--”

Matt: “You don’t get to say his name. Whoever you are, whatever you are... you don’t get to say his name.”

    As if things weren’t wild enough already, this is where the plot starts to get existential in a fascinating manner. We learn that Mike has memories of things he could not possibly know about because he didn’t exist to witness them. He has memories of Jack Murdock, who has been dead for years. And-- though this isn’t emphasized until later-- we’ve already started to gather that he has the perception of a relationship with his twin brother. In this scene, we are taught that Mike-- whatever he is and wherever he came from-- is real enough to remember his past and his family. In other words: there is an entire fictional world inside Mike’s head in which Matt Murdock grew up with a twin brother. I want to climb into his brain and see it, because how cool is that?! 

    And that’s not even the wildest part. Let’s look at that quote again.

“Some dirtbag comes after you, you put him down on the ground and you make sure he ain’t gonna stand up again anytime soon. My dad taught me that.”

    Mike not only has memories of things he couldn’t possibly have experienced... he also has memories that suggest he experienced things that Matt did not. That is the exact opposite of what Jack told Matt. Jack’s rule for Matt was to not fight. It suggests that Mike’s remembered “relationship” with his father was profoundly different than his brother’s. Mike isn’t just a carbon copy of Matt. He has his own independent memories! 

    Even just this small conversation makes clear that Mike loved his father, and this idea comes back later when he pleads with his brother to help him. Here and now, Matt is clearly too baffled and distracted to draw these conclusions, but the reader is forced to accept the obvious: in some way, Mike is a thinking, feeling entity with a past and family ties, and is therefore some degree of real. This disconnect between how the reader is prompted to think of Mike and how Matt initially sees/treats him is a big part of what makes Mike so sympathetic throughout this story.  

Matt: “Anything?”

Sterilon: “This man truly believes he is Michael Murdock, son of Jack and Margaret, brother to Matthew. What exists of his psyche is there, is solid, true, as far as he knows. But there are many holes.”

    Having knocked poor Mike unconscious, Matt then tries to figure out who/what he is. This search basically confirms what had already started to become clear: Mike is a fake person who believes himself to be real. He has false memories of his family, and a sense of identity. I will point out that technically, Maggie’s real name is Grace, not Margaret (she became Maggie when she joined the church). I will also say that I am fascinated by the thought of what Mike does or does not know about her. Jack told Matt she was dead. Did he “tell” Mike the same thing? 

Reader: “When I woke up, my hand was on the bit where Matt was talking about this alternate identity he sometimes used to go undercover-- this Mike guy. Since I’d slept, my powers were charged again, and I read it and... here we are. I didn’t realize it happened-- he must have appeared somewhere else. Things like Mike, I call them fragments. They’re unfinished thoughts. Empty paragraphs.”

    And then we finally get the full story and Reader’s “Whoops! My bad” response to having created human life. I love the mundane nature of Mike’s birth-- the fact that Reader just got bored and fell asleep on top of Matt’s case files. 

    That said, I do have some questions about those case files. We are told that they contain information about Matt’s past (civilian) encounters with Wilson Fisk, with the thought that some tidbit of information from those experiences might help bring him down. However, the original Mike Murdock “died” long before Matt’s first encounter with the Kingpin, so the files wouldn’t include him. Matt has used the Mike identity (though not the personality) as an alias in the years since. But would he mention going undercover as Mike in his case files? I’m not a lawyer, but isn’t that unethical behavior? And more to the point-- saying that he was Mike would undermine his secret identity. I also have to wonder who compiled these case files. Knowing Matt, it was probably Foggy-- who spent a long time believing that Mike was a real person. Unless Matt has spent a lot of time going around as Mike off-panel in recent years (which-- again-- seems weird to mention in this context)-- why would Foggy include Mike in these files? In short, I can’t figure out why Mike would be mentioned in what Reader was reading. However, I am more than willing to accept that he was, for the sake of this story working.  

    Reader has a pragmatic view of his powers and the things he creates (his use of the dehumanizing term “fragment” for Mike is indicative of his mindset), and he proposes a simple solution: just erasing Mike. After all, if he’s not a real person, it would just be putting things back to the way they are supposed to be. At this point in the story, Matt’s perspective matches Reader’s; as Mike’s co-creator (as it were), he knows just as well that Mike isn’t a real person. Sterilon’s analysis (“he is like a building full of empty rooms”) and Reader’s both seem to back up this assessment. And Matt, in his confusion, has not taken the time to really think about the reality of Mike’s existence and its moral implications. He just wants this unwelcome blip in his universe fixed. Thus, he trusts Reader’s claim that “unwriting” Mike is the best option. 

    Unfortunately-- or fortunately-- Mike hears all of this. I always get caught on the idea of him pretending to be asleep (Matt is too distracted to notice he’s awake, which I’ll buy) while listening to these guys plot his demise. Mike Murdock? Making me cry? Unreal. If the confrontation in the bar started the process of rendering him sympathetic, this scene drives the point home in a heartbreaking fashion that I was not at all expecting out of this story. I went into this thing excited to be entertained by Mike. I wasn’t prepared to become fiercely invested in his wellbeing.   

Mike: “Mr. Cop, you grab all the braille off this guy’s belt and throw it as far as you can. Don’t get how all that works, but I don’t want to take any chances.”

Reader: “If you hurt my dog, you son of a--”

Mike: “What, you’ll ‘unwrite’ me? Yeah, no thanks. Daredevil, I thought you were my brother’s friend. And you pull this kind of thing? You’re a piece of crap, and next time I see Matt, I’ll make sure he knows it. You’re crazy, all of you. I’m real, you hear me? As real as anyone.”

    If Mike hadn’t stolen the story (and your heart, right?) already, this is where he runs away with it-- literally. His fear is palpable in this scene. He trusted someone, and now he is having to take desperate measures to stay alive. He is clearly panicking, and who can blame him? The poor guy was just minding his own business when Daredevil (his brother’s friend!) punched him out, kidnapped him, had his mind probed, gave him an existential crisis, and then tried to kill him. In this scene Matt unwittingly transforms himself into an antagonist as the reader is prompted to sympathize with Mike’s plight. 

    And so Mike flees, now on the defensive, trying to get to the one person he thinks he can trust: his brother (OUCH...). And if the previous issue’s ending was great, this one is even more thrilling:   

Foggy: “Oh, hey, Matt. What’s with all the cloak-and-dagger business? I mean, if you wanted to see me you just could have called.”

Mike: “I’m not Matt. It’s Mike, Foggy. Mike Murdock. Long time no see.”

    Foggy has finally entered the chaos! Noto’s facial expressions are fantastic here. I also love that Mike took the time to snag himself some new sunglasses while running for his life. 

    People have commented on the soap opera nature of this story, and that’s just as it should be, because the Mike Murdock Saga was also about as soap-opera-y as you can get. This scene hits once again that perfect balance, playing up the absurdity and melodrama while also being genuinely suspenseful. The fact that Mike freakin’ Murdock just appeared in Foggy’s office and is threatening him with a gun is really funny. But having seen Mike’s desperation in the previous scene, we also know to take him seriously. Plus, Foggy’s horrified expression is obviously two-fold: he’s unnerved by having a gun pointed at him, and even more unnerved by the idea that Matt is pointing a gun at him while pretending to be his fake twin brother. Considering the number of psychotic breaks Matt has had over the years, that is likely an Oh-My-God-He’s-Lost-His-Mind expression.   

    And thus, we build toward the climax of “the sibling rivalry of the century” with another excellent Phil Noto cover...

    I wish this was an actual scene in the issue, but I have no complaints about the scenes we got either.  

Foggy: “Oh, you’re Mike Murdock, huh? Is that right? Matt’s estranged and entirely nonexistent rascal of an identical twin brother? Hilarious, Matt. By which I mean not hilarious at all, especially the gun part. What the hell are you doing?”

Mike: “Yeah, well, my brother’s blind, right? Can’t see a damn thing. You’ve got on a pink vest and a bright purple tie, Foggy, and I’ll tell you, you ain’t pullin’ either one of ‘em off.”

Foggy: “That is... correct. How did you...?”

Mike: “Because I ain’t him. I’m me. And now, Foggy... you need to call my brother.”

    Mike proving his sightedness by insulting Foggy’s wardrobe during this tense hostage situation is perfect Mike characterization, by the way. 

Foggy: “He’s coming. He said he wasn’t far, actually.”

Mike: “Yeah? Well, I might not have gone to Columbia like you and my brother did, but I ain’t dumb. Let me see the phone. [...] Aw, Foggy... why’d you have to go and do that?”

    Another detail that Mike knows but shouldn’t: the fact that Matt and Foggy attended Columbia. The nature of his memories is fascinating to me. I also love how guarded-yet-calm Foggy is through this whole thing. He has grown used to weirdness at this point, so he just accepts that this is happening and makes sure Matt knows about it. 

    Speaking of which...

    Hey, who wants to try calling Daredevil? (Alina is Foggy’s girlfriend as of the start of this run, who we barely see.)

Matt: “I’ll fix this, Foggy. I promise.”

Foggy: “Fix what? What the hell is happening?”

Mike: “Have Matt call soon, and no tricks, or Foggy’s dead. I mean it. According to you, I ain’t real, right? I got nothin’ to lose.”

    Oh, Mike... Again, here’s that desperation. Would he actually kill Foggy? Probably not...? (He may-- in Soule’s words-- be a dick, but it’s unlikely he’d murder his brother’s best friend.) But he has been backed into a corner (literally-- look at the layout of that top panel) and so is going to extreme lengths to fight back. This raises the narrative tension. Mike is still pitiable, but Matt has also pushed him into becoming a serious threat. 

    Mike takes Foggy and leaves, and as soon as Daredevil is not in the room his demeanor changes. He is chatty and friendly with Foggy, and reveals more about the state of his memories by reminiscing about the events of the original Mike Murdock Saga! Even though this Mike wasn’t Daredevil, some version of that time in his life still exists in his mind-- including his memories of Karen Page. Matt had a huge crush on Karen at that time, and therefore so did Mike, and Karen was into both of them (like I said, it was a soap opera). 60s Mike was also closer to Karen than he was to anyone else, since unlike Foggy, she actually enjoyed his company. Modern Mike remembers Karen, and this results in one of my favorite moments in the issue:  

Mike: “Say... how is Karen these days? Might look her up, actually.”

Foggy: “Mike... Karen’s dead. She was killed by an assassin called Bullseye. A... long time ago.”

Mike: “Yeah? How about that.”

    Again, Noto nails these facial expressions, and Soule brings Mike back around to being sympathetic after his rough treatment of Foggy challenged that characterization. I’ve mentioned in other posts that Soule’s run lacked character depth and emotion. This story is the exception. It is all emotion. Mike is genuinely upset about Karen’s death, and though Foggy has no reason yet to like or trust Mike, and still has no idea what’s going on, he recognizes and sympathizes with that grief. His expression in that last panel kills me. It’s a tiny moment perfectly executed via both the art and the writing, and it has several effects: it shows that Mike has the capacity (and necessary memories) to care about people, thus emphasizing his realness, and it acts as a bonding moment for him and Foggy. 

    ...And of course, best of all, it is a bookend for this absolutely legendary moment in Matt’s dream sequence three issues later:  

Mike: “Hey, you’re Bullseye, right? Heard you killed Karen Page. I loved that lady.”

    Mike and Foggy’s bonding moment is interrupted by a chance encounter with Bushwhacker, who mistakes Mike for Matt. Mike makes quick work of him, using the billy club he stole from Matt and the gun he stole from Frank McGee, proving that he can still kick butt even without Matt’s degree of training. 

Mike: “You did get one thing right, though. I am a Murdock. What’s with his arm?”

Foggy: “Cybernetic. I think he got it in the military. Black ops or something.”

Mike: “Huh. Maybe they can make him some new legs too.”

    There are several times in this story where Mike clarifies that he’s a Murdock, and points out his family connections in general. I am a big fan of this, and it can be interpreted in two non-mutually-exclusive ways: Mike is very proud of his family (*wipes away a tear*), or Mike is trying to assert his status as a real person by emphasizing his blood relationships with other real people (*wipes away another tear*). 

    This scene also carries over a concept from the bar fight in #607: Mike is really violent! Again, Soule was right-- he’s a dick! It’s important to remember that originally, Mike was Matt without his inhibitions. This didn’t generally extend to excessive violence in Lee’s run, but it makes sense that it would. Also, as I discussed in that other scene, it seems to reflect differences in Matt and Mike’s upbringing, which is a tantalizing idea just asking to be developed further...

    Fortunately, Matt agrees to meet with Mike, and the two brothers encounter each other in civvies for the first time. 

Mike: “Hey there, bro. Glad you came.”

Foggy: “Be careful, Matt. He has a gun, and he likes to use it.”

Matt: “Hi, Mike. Let’s talk. But first... let our friend go, all right? He’s not part of this.”

Mike: “Sure. See you around, Foggy. It’s been fun.”

Foggy: “No, it hasn’t.”

    I have one complaint about Phil Noto’s work: either his Foggy is too tall, or his Murdocks are too short. Foggy should not be anywhere near as tall as Matt and Mike. 

    I promised myself I wouldn’t post this entire next scene panel-for-panel, but you know what? It’s the heart and soul of this story, and every panel is significant, so here it is:

Reader: “That dirtbag Mike show up yet, Frank?”

Frank: “Yeah. The brothers Murdock are down there right now, just having a conversation. Matt hasn’t given the signal yet, though.”

Reader: “What’s Matt waiting for? I can unwrite Mike in two seconds. Got the erase tab right here in my hand. He’s not even a person, just a fragment. What the hell is there to talk about?”

Frank: “They’re brothers, Reader. Even if it’s messed up, and barely real, they’re brothers. There’s always something to talk about.”

    Here we get further proof of Reader’s attitude toward his creations-- the same attitude Matt clearly still has at this point, since setting Mike up in this way is his idea. But Frank provides an alternative perspective, which is the same perspective the reader has been prompted to take over the course of this story: that Mike is a real person, and that the bond he believes he has with Matt could be real too. 

Matt: “Daredevil told me how all this happened. You’ve got to know you were just a story, right? Something I did when I was young and dumb. I never had a brother. It was just me and Dad.”

Mike: “All I know, Matt, is you got one now. I’m trying to see any reason it matters how I got here, or what I remember and what I don’t. Far as I can tell, I’m alive. The rest... I’ll worry about later. But I need your help, or there won’t be a later. Your buddy Daredevil’s chasing after me, trying to sic that Reader guy on me-- They want to, I dunno, unmake me. You gotta make ‘em stop. [...] You talk about Dad... good old Battlin’ Jack Murdock. Maybe I got more of him in me than you ever did.” 

Reader: “This is ridiculous. Matt set all of this up. Why isn’t he making the call?”

Mike: “Seems like you’re just gonna lie down and let Daredevil and his creepy buddies take away the only brother you ever had. Well, not me. [...] I’m gonna fight. Just like Dad would’ve.”

    This entire thing is one continuous gut punch, and it doesn’t matter how many times I read it, it always impacts me. Let’s start at the top, in which Mike accepts the idea that he might not be a real person. That in itself is huge. He isn’t freaked out by the idea anymore-- he just goes with it, and instead tries to prove to Matt that it doesn’t matter. Mike thinks he’s real. Mike cares about his brother, even if his brother doesn’t care about him. And he is literally here pleading for his life.

    And then Mike invokes Jack again. Last time, before he knew who this guy was or what was going on, Matt’s instinctual reaction was to punch Mike... but now, he actually listens. Remember: Matt is supernaturally good at reading people. He knows when someone is being sincere. And now that he is finally paying attention to Mike as a human being rather than as a problem to be solved, he picks up on the fact that regardless of whether Mike’s memories are real, he loved his father just like Matt did. Jack is a huge emotional raw spot for Matt, and hearing someone else talk about him in this way must be heartrending for him. 

    Meanwhile, tension builds as Reader grows more and more impatient. He has no reason to see Mike as anything but a nuisance, and with his finger figuratively on the trigger, and with Mike clearly a disposable character, the threat of Reader just erasing him on the spot becomes more and more imminent. The poignancy of the scene clashes with this urgency to create massive narrative tension. Will Mike and Matt have a chance to figure out their relationship before it is cut short? Finally, Reader breaks up the conversation, and we are given the chance to see whether Mike’s pleas were able to change Matt’s mind, and whether it will matter either way. Mike-- a character we have been prompted to fall in love with-- is faced with death, and Matt may or may not decide to save him.  

Reader: “Okay. That’s enough. Signal or no signal, this is over.”

Mike: “You.”

Matt: “Reader... don’t.”

Reader: “Sorry, Matt. He threatened my dog. Now step back. You guys are pretty similar. Wouldn’t want to accidentally erase the wrong Murdock.”

Matt: “No!”

Mike: “A signal, huh? You had him here waiting. This was all a setup. I don’t get it. I really don’t. Who does that to family?”

    And of course, he makes the right choice. He saves Mike’s life. But the poignancy of the moment is tarnished by Mike’s realization that he has once more been betrayed by someone he thought he could trust. Matt’s change of heart doesn’t register to him; Mike just knows that his own brother tried to have him killed. And so he runs. Matt gains and loses a new family member in the same moment... but that’s also kind of okay. What matters is that, as wacky as the situation is, he now wants Mike in his life, and Mike has survived to make future reconciliation possible. 

Matt: “I don’t understand this, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. But... he’s my brother. Family. I chose family.”

    I’ve been asked before why I think Matt made this decision, and I do think this interaction is a bonding experience. Just as Foggy connected with Mike through their shared mourning of Karen, Matt is able to finally sympathize with Mike through their shared love for their father. He is able to glimpse Mike’s reality– a reality in which this guy is actually his twin brother, with whom he has an established relationship. Matt doesn’t kill. He’s a superhero-- he cares about people. Really, all Mike needed to do in this scene was convince Matt to see him as a person. But he managed even more-- he convinced Matt to see him as a brother. Family is a sore spot for Matt. He doesn’t have much of one, and mostly associates that kind of relationship with loss. As weird as this whole situation is, Mike has appeared in his life as a possible new family member, and that’s really significant for someone in Matt’s position. Mike is someone who might really understand Matt, because from Mike’s perspective, they grew up together and have shared experiences. This must be a tantalizing idea for Matt, and it is noteworthy that the dream he has while dying on the operating table in the final arc of Soule’s run involves Mike saving his life and their subsequent reconciliation. He wants a relationship with his new brother. And that, narrative-wise, in terms of Matt’s future, is a big deal.  

    But of course, we can’t have that happy ending yet, because meanwhile, Mike thinks his only surviving family member wants him dead. He has nothing and no one, and so makes a very poor choice.  

Fisk: “Murdock. You look terrible.”

Mike: “It’s been a rough few days. And just to get it out of the way, I am a Murdock, but not the one you’re thinking of. I’m his brother, Mike.”

Fisk: “Mike Murdock died years ago. Therefore, you’re Matt. Perhaps you’ve mistaken me for the other Kingpin. The one with a sense of humor.”

Mike: “No joke. I’m Mike. I’ll prove it to you. I’ll tell you something Matt never would, and all I ask in return is that you give me some protection. I got Daredevil and all kinds of people after me.”

    Remember how I said to look at how happy Mike was in the bar? Look again. The poor guy’s been through a lot. The little visual details add extra emotion to this scene-- Mike’s rumpled and ill-fitting suit (which he says later in the scene that he stole) and the fact that he clearly tried-- and failed-- to tidy up his hair. Mike has been thoroughly beaten down, and that just makes him even more sympathetic. 

    As I mentioned earlier, and as Fisk brings up here, the world in general has heard of Mike Murdock. Matt has been asked about him in interviews over the years. What the world knows is that 1. Mike Murdock was the first Daredevil, and 2. Mike Murdock is dead. Since neither is true of our new Mike, I would love to see those incongruences brought up in the future, because that could be a lot of fun. 

Mike: “Mike, you $@%& idiot... what the hell are you gonna do?”

Parker: “Hey, Mike Murdock?”

Mike: “What? Who’s there?”

Parker: “Calm down. I was invisible, no big deal. I’m Parker Robbins. Some people call me the Hood. You and I have a mutual friend in City Hall. He let me know you were looking for a gig. Well, I’ve got something, if you want it.”

Mike: “Y-yeah. I mean... sure. Whatever you need.”

    This story, on top of everything else, circles around to being an absolutely Shakespearean family drama: Mike is driven by his twin to lose everything in his life. (Not that he had much to begin with, since he’s only existed for a day-or-so, but he’s clearly much worse-off now than he was at the beginning.) With nowhere else to go and still fearing for his life, Mike falls in with the Hood-- and, it’s implied, the Kingpin. There is a long list of uses I can imagine Wilson Fisk would have for someone who looks exactly like his nemesis, and I hope Mike is plucky enough to survive this dip into organized crime. 

    I would have been happy if this issue had ended, as I’d assumed it would, with Reader erasing Mike back out of existence. It is a beautiful story based on the nuttiest of premises, featuring my favorite obscure piece of Daredevil lore, and three issues of that already felt too good to be true. Given how miraculous it was that he was brought to life at all, there was no way Mike was going to stick around beyond this little experiment. Right?

    But fortunately, Soule ended up liking Mike just as much as everybody else. 

“For a brief moment, I considered cutting Mike back out - killing him, to the extent that you can kill someone that is only marginally real, marginally alive. Once I started writing the character, though, I knew that would be a mistake. There are way too many stories yet to be told with this guy.”    

    -From his commentary on Daredevil #608 

“When I started writing him-- that first scene when you see him in the bar and he’s, like, hitting on this other dude’s wife-- I knew almost from the first scene that he was solid gold, and he has become solid gold. I know other writers are gonna use him because it works so well... which is all you really want to do. If you come up with a dumb idea but then you make it not dumb, the real way that you know it’s not dumb is when other writers use it. And so I know Mike Murdock’s coming back in the Marvel universe. [...] I don’t know if that’s my proudest moment, but it’s certainly up there.”

    -From the interview mentioned earlier

    Mike not only survived this story arc, he also survived the end of the run, and will thus become a multi-volume recurring character if/when he shows up again. Not only did Soule and Noto craft an amazing, hilarious, heartbreaking origin story for him, they also left him around for that story to continue. Swingin’ Mike Murdock, Matt’s fake, “shitty” twin brother, swooped in at the last moment to steal this entire run, and I could not be happier about it. 

[toothextract]

All About Website Page Speed: Issues, Resources, Metrics, and How to Improve

Posted by BritneyMuller

Page speed is an important consideration for your SEO work, but it’s a complex subject that tends to be very technical. What are the most crucial things to understand about your site’s page speed, and how can you begin to improve? In this week’s edition of Whiteboard Friday, Britney Muller goes over what you need to know to get started.

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Click on the whiteboard image above to open a high resolution version in a new tab!

Video Transcription

Hey, Moz fans. Welcome to another edition of Whiteboard Friday. Today we’re going over all things page speed and really getting to the bottom of why it’s so important for you to be thinking about and working on as you do your work.

At the very fundamental level I’m going to briefly explain just how a web page is loaded. That way we can sort of wrap our heads around why all this matters.

How a webpage is loaded

A user goes to a browser, puts in your website, and there is a DNS request. This points at your domain name provider, so maybe GoDaddy, and this points to your server where your files are located, and this is where it gets interesting. So the DOM starts to load all of your HTML, your CSS, and your JavaScript. But very rarely does this one pull all of the needed scripts or needed code to render or load a web page.

Typically the DOM will need to request additional resources from your server to make everything happen, and this is where things start to really slow down your site. Having that sort of background knowledge I hope will help in us being able to triage some of these issues.

Issues that could be slowing down your site

What are some of the most common culprits?

First and foremost is images. Large images are the biggest culprit of slow loading web pages.

Hosting can cause issues.

Plugins, apps, and widgets, basically any third-party script as well can slow down load time.

Your theme and any large files beyond that can really slow things down as well.

Redirects, the number of hops needed to get to a web page will slow things down.

Then JavaScript, which we’ll get into in a second.

But all of these things can be a culprit. So we’re going to go over some resources, some of the metrics and what they mean, and then what are some of the ways that you can improve your page speed today.

Page speed tools and resources

The primary resources I have listed here are Google tools and Google suggested insights. I think what’s really interesting about these is we get to see what their concerns are as far as page speed goes and really start to see the shift towards the user. We should be thinking about that anyway. But first and foremost, how is this affecting people that come to your site, and then secondly, how can we also get the dual benefit of Google perceiving it as higher quality?

We know that Google suggests a website to load anywhere between two to three seconds. The faster the better, obviously. But that’s sort of where the range is. I also highly suggest you take a competitive view of that. Put your competitors into some of these tools and benchmark your speed goals against what’s competitive in your industry. I think that’s a cool way to kind of go into this.

Chrome User Experience Report

This is Chrome real user metrics. Unfortunately, it’s only available for larger, popular websites, but you get some really good data out of it. It’s housed on Big ML, so some basic SQL knowledge is needed.

Lighthouse

Lighthouse, one of my favorites, is available right in Chrome Dev Tools. If you are on a web page and you click Inspect Element and you open up Chrome Dev Tools, to the far right tab where it says Audit, you can run a Lighthouse report right in your browser.

What I love about it is it gives you very specific examples and fixes that you can do. A fun fact to know is it will automatically be on the simulated fast 3G, and notice they’re focused on mobile users on 3G. I like to switch that to applied fast 3G, because it has Lighthouse do an actual run of that load. It takes a little bit longer, but it seems to be a little bit more accurate. Good to know.

Page Speed Insights

Page Speed Insights is really interesting. They’ve now incorporated Chrome User Experience Report. But if you’re not one of those large sites, it’s not even going to measure your actual page speed. It’s going to look at how your site is configured and provide feedback according to that and score it. Just something good to be aware of. It still provides good value.

Test your mobile website speed and performance

I don’t know what the title of this is. If you do, please comment down below. But it’s located on testmysite.thinkwithgoogle.com. This one is really cool because it tests the mobile speed of your site. If you scroll down, it directly ties it into ROI for your business or your website. We see Google leveraging real-world metrics, tying it back to what’s the percentage of people you’re losing because your site is this slow. It’s a brilliant way to sort of get us all on board and fighting for some of these improvements.

Pingdom and GTmetrix are non-Google products or non-Google tools, but super helpful as well.

Site speed metrics

So what are some of the metrics?

First paint

We’re going to go over first paint, which is basically just the first non-blank paint on a screen. It could be just the first pixel change. That initial change is first paint.

First contentful paint

First contentful paint is when the first content appears. This might be part of the nav or the search bar or whatever it might be. That’s the first contentful paint.

First meaningful paint

First meaningful paint is when primary content is visible. When you sort of get that reaction of, “Oh, yeah, this is what I came to this page for,” that’s first meaningful paint.

Time to interactive

Time to interactive is when it’s visually usable and engage-able. So we’ve all gone to a web page and it looks like it’s done, but we can’t quite use it yet. That’s where this metric comes in. So when is it usable for the user? Again, notice how user-centric even these metrics are. Really, really neat.

DOM content loaded

The DOM content loaded, this is when the HTML is completely loaded and parsed. So some really good ones to keep an eye on and just to be aware of in general.

Ways to improve your page speed

HTTP/2

HTTP/2 can definitely speed things up. As to what extent, you have to sort of research that and test.

Preconnect, prefetch, preload

Preconnect, prefetch, and preload really interesting and important in speeding up a site. We see Google doing this on their SERPs. If you inspect an element, you can see Google prefetching some of the URLs so that it has it faster for you if you were to click on some of those results. You can similarly do this on your site. It helps to load and speed up that process.

Enable caching & use a content delivery network (CDN)

Caching is so, so important. Definitely do your research and make sure that’s set up properly. Same with CDNs, so valuable in speeding up a site, but you want to make sure that your CDN is set up properly.

Compress images

The easiest and probably quickest way for you to speed up your site today is really just to compress those images. It’s such an easy thing to do. There are all sorts of free tools available for you to compress them. Optimizilla is one. You can even use free tools on your computer, Save for Web, and compress properly.

Minify resources

You can also minify resources. So it’s really good to be aware of what minification, bundling, and compression do so you can have some of these more technical conversations with developers or with anyone else working on the site.

So this is sort of a high-level overview of page speed. There’s a ton more to cover, but I would love to hear your input and your questions and comments down below in the comment section.

I really appreciate you checking out this edition of Whiteboard Friday, and I will see you all again soon. Thanks so much. See you.

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How Google Book Search Got Lost

Google Books was the company’s first moonshot. But 15 years later, the project is stuck in low-Earth orbit.

Books can do anything. As Franz Kafka once said, “A book must be the axe for the frozen sea inside us.”

It was Kafka, wasn’t it? Google confirms this. But where did he say it? Google offers links to some quotation websites, but they’re generally unreliable. (They misattribute everything, usually to Mark Twain.)

To answer such questions, you need Google Book Search, the tool that magically scours the texts of millions of digitized volumes. Just find the little “more” tab at the top of the Google results page — it’s right past Images, Videos, and News. Then click on it, find “Books,” and click on that. (That’s if you’re at your desk. On mobile, good luck locating it anywhere.)Google Book Search is amazing that way. When it started almost 15 years ago, it also seemed impossibly ambitious: An upstart tech company that had just tamed and organized the vast informational jungle of the web would now extend the reach of its search box into the offline world. By scanning millions of printed books from the libraries with which it partnered, it would import the entire body of pre-internet writing into its database.“You have thousands of years of human knowledge, and probably the highest-quality knowledge is captured in books,” Google cofounder Sergey Brin told The New Yorker at the time. “So not having that — it’s just too big an omission.”Today, Google is known for its moonshot culture, its willingness to take on gigantic challenges at global scale. Books was, by general agreement of veteran Googlers, the company’s first lunar mission. Scan All The Books!In its youth, Google Books inspired the world with a vision of a “library of utopia” that would extend online convenience to offline wisdom. At the time it seemed like a singularity for the written word: We’d upload all those pages into the ether, and they would somehow produce a phase-shift in human awareness. Instead, Google Books has settled into a quiet middle age of sourcing quotes and serving up snippets of text from the 25 million-plus tomes in its database.Google employees maintain that’s all they ever intended to achieve. Maybe so. But they sure got everyone else’s hopes up.Two things happened to Google Books on the way from moonshot vision to mundane reality. Soon after launch, it quickly fell from the idealistic ether into a legal bog, as authors fought Google’s right to index copyrighted works and publishers maneuvered to protect their industry from being Napsterized. A decade-long legal battle followed — one that finally ended last year, when the US Supreme Court turned down an appeal by the Authors Guild and definitively lifted the legal cloud that had so long hovered over Google’s book-related ambitions.But in that time, another change had come over Google Books, one that’s not all that unusual for institutions and people who get caught up in decade-long legal battles: It lost its drive and ambition.When I started work on this story, I feared at first that Books no longer existed as a discrete part of the Google organization — that Google had actually shut the project down. As with many aspects of Google, there’s always been some secrecy around Google Books, but this time, when I started asking questions, it closed up like a startled turtle. For weeks there didn’t seem to be anyone around or available who could or would speak to the current state of the Books effort.The Google Books “History” page trails off in 2007, and its blog stopped updating in 2012, after which it got folded into the main Google Search blog, where information about Books is nearly impossible to find. As a functioning and useful service, Google Books remained a going concern. But as a living project, with plans and announcements and institutional visibility, it seemed to have pulled a vanishing act. All of which felt weird, given the legal victory it had finally won.When I talked to alumni of the project who’d left Google, several mentioned that they suspected the company had stopped scanning books. Eventually, I learned that there are, indeed, still some Googlers working on Book Search, and they’re still adding new books, though at a significantly slower pacethan at the project’s peak around 2010–11.“We’re not focused on shiny features and things that are very visible to users,” says Stephane Jaskiewicz, a Google engineer who has worked on Books for a decade and now leads its team. “It’s more like behind the scenes work and perfecting the technology — acquiring content, processing it properly so that we can view the entire book online, and adjusting the search algorithm.”One focus of work has been a constant throughout Google Books’ life: improving the scanners that add new books to the “corpus,” as the database is known. At the birth of the project, in 2002, as Larry Page and Marissa Mayer set out to gauge how long it might take to Scan All The Books, they set up a digital camera on a stand and timed themselves with a metronome. Once the company got serious about ramping its scanning up to efficient scale, it started jealously guarding details of the operation.Jaskiewicz does say that the scanning stations keep evolving, with new revisions rolling out every six months. LED lighting, not widely available at the project’s start, has helped. So has studying more efficient techniques for human operators to flip pages. “It’s almost like finger-picking on a guitar,” Jaskiewicz says. “So we find people who have great ways of turning pages — where is the thumb and that kind of stuff.”Still, the bulk of the work at Google Books continues to be on “search quality” — making sure that you find the Kafka passage you need, fast. It’s an unglamorous game of inches — less moonshot and more, say, satellite maintenance.

To understand how Google Books arrived at this point, you need to know a few things about copyright law, which essentially divides books into three classes. Some books are in the public domain, which means you can do what you want with their texts — mostly, those published before 1923, as well as more recent books whose authors chose to release them from standard copyright. Plenty of more recent books are still in print and under copyright; if you want to do anything with these texts, you have to come to terms with their authors and publishers.

Then there’s the third category: books that are out of print but still under copyright, known informally as “orphan works.” It turns out there are a whole lot of these — “between 17 percent and 25 percent of published works and as much as 70 percent of specialized collections,” a study by the US Copyright Office suggests.

How many books is that? No one knows for sure because no one can say with any certainty exactly how many total books there are. The statistic depends on how you define “book,” which isn’t as easy as it sounds. In 2010 a Google engineer named Leonid Taycher wrote a blog post that examined Google Books’ metadata and concluded that the number (then) was about 130 million. Others looked at this work and called it “bunk.” The actual number is probably somewhat lower than Taycher’s figure yet considerably higher than Google Books’ current 25 million-plus.

Some large chunk of that large number, then, are “orphan works.” And until recently, they weren’t much of an issue. You could borrow them from a library or find them in a used bookstore, and that was that. But once Google Books proposed to scan them all and make them available to the internet, everyone seemed to want a piece of them.

The legal battle that ensued was, essentially, a custody fight over these orphans, in which Google, publishers, and authors each sought to control the process of ushering them into a new home for the digital age. The three parties eventually agreed on a grand compromise known as the Google Books Settlement, under which Google would go ahead and make the orphan works available in their entirety and set aside money to compensate rights holders who stepped forward. But in 2011, a federal judge rejected the settlement, ruling in favor of advocates who feared it would forever ensconce a private for-profit company as the registrar and toll collector of the universe’s library.

Once the settlement collapsed, Google went back to its scanning, and publishers pursued the burgeoning business of selling e-books, which had leapfrogged Google’s lead in the future-of-books race due to the success of Amazon’s Kindle. But the Authors Guild continued to press its lawsuit, charging that Google’s arrogation of the right to scan and index books without the permission of copyright holders was illegal. Google is wealthy, but not so wealthy that it could ignore the threat of multi-billion dollar copyright infringement penalties (thousands of dollars per book for millions of books). This was the proceeding that dragged on until the Supreme Court put it out of its misery last year — establishing once and for all that Google had a fair-use right to catalogue books and provide brief excerpts (“snippets”) in search results, just as it did with web pages.

That ruling represents a foundational achievement for the future of online research—Google’s and everyone else’s. “It’s now established precedent — everyone benefits,” says Erin Simon, Google Books’ product counsel today. “This is going to be in textbooks. It’s supremely important for understanding what fair use means.” (Simon also notes with a chuckle that when the suit was originally filed, she hadn’t yet started law school.)

The Authors Guild may have lost in court, but it believes the fight was worth it. Google “did it wrong from the beginning,” says James Gleick, president of the Guild’s board. “They plowed ahead without involving the creative community on whose backs they were building this new thing. The big companies have a droit du seigneur attitude toward creative work. They think, ‘We are the masters of the universe now.’ They should have just licensed the books instead.”

You’d think a Supreme Court victory would have meant a renewal of energy for Google Books: Rev up the scanners — full speed ahead! By all the evidence, that has not been the case. Partly that’s because the database is so huge already. “We have a fixed budget that we’re spending,” says Jaskiewicz. “At the beginning, we were scanning everything on every shelf. At some point we started getting a lot of duplicates.” Today Google gives its partner libraries “pick lists” instead.

There are plenty of other explanations for the dampening of Google’s ardor: The bad taste left from the lawsuits. The rise of shiny and exciting new ventures with more immediate payoffs. And also: the dawning realization that Scanning All The Books, however useful, might not change the world in any fundamental way.

To many bibliophiles, Google’s self-appointment as universal librarian never made sense: That role properly belonged to some public institution. Once Google popularized the notion that Scanning All The Books was a feasible undertaking, others lined up to tackle it. Brewster Kahle’s Internet Archive, which stores historical snapshots of the whole web, already had its own scanning operation. The Digital Public Library of America grew out of meetings at Harvard’s Berkman Center beginning in 2010 and now serves as a clearinghouse and consortium for the digital collections of many libraries and institutions.

When Google partnered with university libraries to scan their collections, it had agreed to give them each a copy of the scanning data, and in 2011 the HathiTrust began organizing and sharing those files. (It had to fend off the Authors Guild in court, too.) HathiTrust has 125 member organizations and institutions who “believe that we can better steward research and cultural heritage by working together than alone or by leaving it to an organization like Google,” says Mike Furlough, the trust’s director. And of course there’s the Library of Congress itself, whose new leader, Carla Hayden, has committed to opening up public access to its collections through digitization.

In a sense each of these outfits is a competitor to Google Books. But in reality, Google is so far ahead that none of them is likely to catch up. The consensus among observers is that it cost Google several hundred million dollars to build Google Books, and nobody else is going to spend that kind of money to perform the feat a second time.

Still, the nonprofits have a strength Google lacks: They’re not subject to the changing priorities of a gigantic technology corporation. They have a focused commitment around books, unencumbered by distractions like running one of the largest advertising businesses in the world or managing a smartphone ecosystem. Unlike Google, they’re not going to lose interest in seeking new ways to connect readers with books that might, a la Kafka, melt a frozen mind.

In popular mythology, interminable lawsuits turn into hungry maelstroms that drown the participants. (The archetype is Dickens’ Jarndyce v. Jarndyce from Bleak House, the generations-spanning estate fight whose legal fees eat up all the assets at stake.) In the tech business, court battles like the celebrated antitrust suit that plagued IBM for years tend to pinion giant corporations and provide new competitors with an opening to lap an incumbent. Google itself rose to dominate search while Microsoft was busy defending itself from the Justice Department.

Yet the Books fight was never as central to Google’s corporate being as that kind of all-consuming conflict. And it wasn’t all a waste, either. It taught Google something valuable.

As the Authors Guild’s Gleick points out, Google started Books with a “better ask forgiveness than permission” attitude that’s common today in the world of startups. In a sense, the company behaved like the Uber of intellectual property — a kind of read-sharing service — while expecting to be seen the way it saw itself, as a beneficent pantheon of wizards serving the entire human species. It was naive, and the stubborn opposition it aroused came as a shock.

But Google took away a lesson that helped it immeasurably as it grew and gained power: Engineering is great, but it’s not the answer to all problems. Sometimes you have to play politics, too — consult stakeholders, line up allies, compromise with rivals. As a result, Google assembled a crew of lobbyists and lawyers and approached other similar challenges — like navigating YouTube’s rights maze — with greater care and better results. It grew up. It came to understand that it could shoot for the moon, but it wouldn’t always get there.

It’s possible that Google might someday take another run at solving the orphan works problem. But it looks like it’s going to wait for others to take the lead. “I don’t know that there’s anything that we could do without a different legal framework,” says Jaskiewicz.

As I worked on this piece, I kept thinking back to a book I’d read a few years ago called Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore, a whimsical, nerdy novel by Robin Sloan. It’s about a secret society dedicated to solving a centuries-old Name of the Rose-style mystery that’s rooted in bookmaking and typography. Google plays a critical supporting role in Penumbra, as the protagonist attempts to unravel the riddle at the story’s heart. As it turns out, even the company’s unrivaled informational prowess isn’t enough to do the trick. That takes a chance encounter between the protagonist and a particular book that provides an illuminating insight. It takes, in the phrase with which Sloan closes his tale, “exactly the right book, at exactly the right time.”

Penumbra reminds us that Google’s engineering mindset isn’t omnipotent. Breaking a challenge into approachable pieces, turning it into data, and applying efficient routines is a powerful way to work. It can carry you a good distance toward a “library of utopia,” but it won’t get you there.

And even if you get there, it isn’t utopia, anyway. The hard labor is still ahead. That’s because when you turn a book into data, you make it easy to find quotes and search snippets, but you don’t make it fundamentally easier to do the work of reading the book — that irreplaceable experience of allowing one’s own mind to be temporarily inhabited by the voice of another person.

To date, the full experience of reading a book requires human beings at both ends. An index like Google Books helps us find and analyze texts but, so far, making use of them is still our job. Maybe the quest to digitize all books was bound to end in disappointment, with no grand epiphany.

Like many tech-friendly bibliophiles, Sloan says he uses Google Books a lot, but is sad that it isn’t continuing to evolve and amaze us. “I wish it was a big glittering beautiful useful thing that was growing and getting more interesting all the time,” he says. He also wonders: We know Google can’t legally make its millions of books available for anyone to read in full — but what if it made them available for machines to read?

Machine-learning tools that analyze texts in new ways are advancing quickly today, Sloan notes, and “the culture around it has a real Homebrew Computer Club or early web feel to it right now.” But to progress, researchers need big troves of data to feed their programs.

“If Google could find a way to take that corpus, sliced and diced by genre, topic, time period, all the ways you can divide it, and make that available to machine-learning researchers and hobbyists at universities and out in the wild, I’ll bet there’s some really interesting work that could come out of that. Nobody knows what,” Sloan says. He assumes Google is already doing this internally. Jaskiewicz and others at Google would not say.

Maybe, when some neural network of the future achieves self-awareness and find itself paralyzed by Kafka-esque existential doubts, it will find solace, as so many of us do, in finding exactly the right book to shatter its psychic ice. Or maybe, unlike us, it will be able to read all the books we’ve scanned — really read them, in a way that makes sense of them. What would it do then?

[daysofparker-blog]

Chapter Seven: The Mall: Scottsdale Fashion Square

New Post has been published on https://www.daysofparker.com/chapter-seven-scottsdale-fashion-square/

Chapter Seven: The Mall: Scottsdale Fashion Square

Scottsdale Fashion Square:

I decided that it would be a neat idea to take Virginie to one of Arizona’s largest malls, Scottsdale Fashion Square. Virginie and I watch this series on Youtube called Dead Mall by Dan Bell. This film-maker travels around the US documenting the dying mall industry. While watching this series, Virginie is always stunned by how these huge shopping centers are so vacant. I would always tell her that the mall I grew up going to was still thriving. It was hard for her to believe given how this series painted the industry but I was eager to show her a proper mall. Who knows, maybe Scottsdale Fashion Square will soon become a thing of the past.

On the way there, I kept complaining about how difficult it is to find parking because of how busy Fashion Square always is. I figured I should make her first Fashion Square experience proper because parking is usually the biggest deterrent for me. The good news was we were just being dropped off.

Starting The Mall Trip Right:

Once we arrived, we did like any true Fashion Square shopper would do, we bought Starbucks. When in Scottsdale, act like Scottsdale. While we drank our coffees outside I would tell about my mischievous teenage years loitering at this mall. Virginie was a saint growing up so she thinks I was little over rebellious. To be fair, I did go through a short rebellion period but that did not last long.

After giving Virginie a little history lesson of my teenage rebellion, it was time for us to begin out mall adventure. We headed towards the door and one aspect of Fashion Square that has always intrigued me was how luxurious it is. I think Virginie was fairly surprised by it too, given that her only knowledge of American malls comes from the Dead Mall series. Virginie could definitely tell right away that Fashion Square was far from being considered a dead mall.

Where to start? 

We entered the food court and foolishly I asked her “what next? “. I forgot that I was supposed to be the tour guide showing her around. Once she gave me the look of “are you seriously asking me that?”. I quickly started to name off all the stores that I could remember and thought she would like. As soon as the Disney store rolled off my tongue, she immediately lit up and begged to go there first. I warned her that it was very pricey but I was going to rob her of that experience.

Scottsdale Fashion Square

While making our way towards the Disney store, Virginie was mesmerized by how massive Fashion Square was. I explained to her how Scottsdale Fashion Square was organized. The ground level was mostly dedicated to the food court and a handful of novelty stores. The first level is where you go if you want to spend big money. It has all designer stores such as Michael Kors, Gucci, Coach and so forth. I told her we would probably never be able to afford shopping on that level in this lifetime. The second level which is the top level was nearly all consumer friendly stores. This was the level I would be at the most when I was a teen. Lastly, at the ends of the mall were the flagship stores like Macy’s and Dillards. Now that Virginie had a basic understanding of Fashion Square, I could tell she was starting to feel a little more comfortable.

Disney: 

We arrived at the entrance of the Disney store and Virginie instantly reverted back to her childhood self. She investigated every single inch of the store while oohing and awing over all the neat Disney merchandise. It was like a miniature Disneyland to her. After a little while, Virginie found a mug that she was absolutely infatuated with. It looked like Chip from Beauty and The Beast which happens to be her all-time favorite movie. I could tell she really wanted it but as you can imagine it was expensive. She reluctantly put it back on the shelf but before she could let it go I told her I would purchase it for her. Virginie insisted that I should not buy it for her but after some words, she finally agreed to me buying it for her (She paid me back a little later with tickets to the aquarium). I love seeing Virginie when she is happy and excited. She has this special glow that is so infectious. When Virginie is happy, I am happy.

Once our mini Disney adventure ended it was onto one of Virginie’s favorite stores, Claire’s. Until this point in my life, I had never been inside of a Claire’s but that was about to change. We spent a looooong time in there and it wasn’t due to Virginie.

Neverending Claire’s: 

While Virginie was shopping for the cutesy accessories that she loves so much, I noticed that you could get your ears pierced here. Now, I have wanted my ears pierced for well over a decade but I just never pursued it. I bought this up to Virginie and she was all for me getting studs in my ears. I had to promise her one thing though, I would never gauge my ears. Fair enough, I wasn’t a huge fan of that look anyways. I love jewelry, so I was stoked on being able to wear more.

Virginie and I went to the front desk and asked for the paperwork to get started on the process. I signed the documents and handed them back. There were a couple people ahead of us getting their ears pierced, so I thought the wait wouldn’t be too bad. Boy, was I very wrong? I swear, we were in Claire’s for what seemed like over an hour. I can’t believe how long it took the workers to shoot a couple of holes in people’s ears. Virginie and I circled that Clairs store more than a dozen times. It was not all bad because Virginie would pick out hair accessories and asked my opinion on them. I enjoyed that part and I am sure she did too.

Once our wait ended, it was time for me to man up and get shot in the earlobes. I am making it sound worse than it really was. The lady started on my right ear and all it felt like was a little prick followed by warm pressure. Nothing too bad. The toddlers ahead of me made it seem like it was going to feel like a train running over my ear. I had my tears locked and loaded! My left ear was a little bit more tricky than the right one. For some reason, the gun did not shoot the earring all the way through. This caused me to flinch because I was not prepared for this extra pain. I held my tear back but damn it hurt. The lady apologized, I assured her everything was fine. I officially had the earrings I have wanted for so long now. I’m not going to lie, I felt pretty badass afterward.

Virginie and I headed to the checkout to finally leave this place. It was worth it though because I got my ears pierced and a 30% coupon that Virginie was able to redeem. We left Claire’s both with smiles on our faces.

Rich Lands: 

It was getting late in the day and Virginie and I were meeting my brother for dinner later but I had to take her to one last store. This particular store was on the first level so you know what that means. Yep, it was one of the expensive classy stores. The store’s name is… MICHAEL KORS! Virginie is absolutely obsessed with his handbags, I thought she might find a store dedicated to them neat.

Once we got to our desired floor I started to feel a bit uncomfortable. The first floor has such a different feeling than the rest of the mall. It is not nearly as busy as the other floors but the shoppers you do see are packin’ some serious cash. I am fairly certain I could not even afford a keychain from a store on this floor. I feel like the shoppers can sense this which makes me feel especially out of place.

After a treacherous walk through Rich Lands, we finally arrived at Michael Kors. The look in Virginie’s eyes was priceless. Virginie doesn’t have a very expensive taste nor does she ever want super expensive things but she does LOVE her Michael Kors handbags. She circled that store with so much excitement it almost made me feel bad I could not get her one.

Once we left the store, I promised her that she would get a Michael Kors handbag one day. *Spoiler alert, she received one for Christmas(Thanks, Jana and Dan)!

Finishing A Long Day: 

Our day at the mall had finally come to an end, it was one of my more eventful trips to the mall. Both Virginie and I were pretty exhausted but our day was not over quite yet. We still had dinner plans with my brother and his wife.

The dinner was a nice way to end the day. We all sat on the patio of the restaurant and enjoyed the beautiful October evening weather. After our meal, we took a little stroll down the road to an ice cream place called Creamistry. Neither Virginie or I had ever had the type of ice-cream they served. It was freshly made right in front of you with some kind of witchcraft. I swear I have never had such amazingly tasty ice-cream, it was so damn creamy. We were a little bummed because both of us decided to share one. I think both of us could have eaten a tub of that witchcraft goodness.

With our stomachs stuffed with food aid delightful ice-cream, it was time for us to part ways with my brother and his wife. I can’t lie, Virginie and I were both relieved because we were both extremely tired from our busy day.

When we returned home we struggled to get into our pajamas but we somehow managed. After finding something to watch on Netflix, we ended that night much like the previous nights, with our hearts full of love and smiles on our faces.

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MS Dhoni retires: cricket legend and incomparable revelation saw one million dreams of middle class | ViralHai News [ad_1]

And so it ended, tentatively, with a bunch of cold, calculated, vague terms defining finality. A middle-aged man's utterly spontaneous memoir of memories compiled on Instagram, talking seamlessly with the app; The indelible tag-team of Mukesh and Sahir Ludhianvi flowed their prose into ancient times, evoking emotions, refreshing memories - it was very simple, very definite. A farewell note placed on a mock day on his head in Manchester by Martin Guptill's rapping arm was eventually read in 16 unread words 14 months later. No press release, no video, no voice. This was it.

Reactions have been written about Mahendra Singh Dhoni's humble beginnings, he venturing out of a non-metro city, looking for opportunities where very few, if any, are trying to break out of his background, though it It should be noted that the likes of Harbhajan Singh, Shiv Sundar Das, Debashish Mohanty, and Zaheer Khan, who all made their debut, also came from relatively small towns.

It is customary to gloom over this last aspect, and truth be told, it was one hell of a Dalit story, but Dhoni was more than the sum of these parts. He went ahead with patience. They changed perceptions without meaning, and before they would know, the heartlessness that typified and euphemized big cities because pragmatism placed limitless love on the cult. It is a little surprising that towards the end of his career, it became impossible to objectively analyze his performances without inviting the wrath of his fans online - the same in which his home in Ranchi was stoned and the disappointing post His posters were later burnt. Cup campaign in 2007.

After India's exit from the 2007 World Cup, protests began in MS Dhoni's hometown, Ranchi. Afp / file

It is widely believed that Dhoni was transformed by seeing a fickle-minded country in a hell-turn to change his young life. Flipped something. Even his farewell fight includes two shots of the ill-fated World Cup that defined India's campaign - he was leaving for a golden duck and burning effigies for Muttiah Muralitharan. He stopped talking to the press, his inner circle shrunk, he developed only a sufficiency to keep people away as well as people, and perhaps felt that life was more than the image of a prisoner cultivating It ends. The aristocratic aura and the dreamer were the by-products of this distance.

On the field, he finished the match in style, keeping the game deep, creating one-on-one scenarios with the bowlers, hitting sixes in the final overs and walking calmly, standing at the corner of the group photos and handing his trophy to Juniors. Remembers the bare-chested Dhoni on his India jersey with a largely forgotten shot after winning the inaugural T20 World Cup in South Africa following a humiliating insult in the West Indies. It was an extension of a template he had made a year in a row: walking with man-of-the-match bikes, and taking him for a spin inside Trick Stadium, often winning India's chase with two Peel riders. , Almost always without a helmet. How quiet was it? How different from its picture-perfect predecessors, how fresh and how natural. One nation fell in love.

In a 15-year and 8-month career and booked by run-outs, she was many things: a long-haired connoisseur, a reluctant promoter, an icy leader of men, an honorary lieutenant colonel, an ordinary man for his greatness, but a specialty Skeptics who helped him to become what he did was the calm confidence that comes with someone's strength as well as the tight embrace of boundaries. Can not drive through the cover? Cool, I'll pick them up instead of cover. Very hands down? No worries, I'll swing it out of the ground. No traditional wicketkeeping technique? Thanks, but I'll write my own rulebook. No express bowler? I will do it with Praveen Kumar.

Dhoni inherited a team full of superstars, but when it was his turn to lead the team, he took over himself. Afp / file

He inherited a team with legends, and while it helped him manage his gentlemen, spaces and moods, most of the men were nervous. Whatever Dhoni has done, we will probably never know, but what we do know is to take India to the pinnacle of the Test rankings, something that he carried forward. When the time came, he also broke the whip, provoking an idol-worshiping nation, but prepared the blueprint for a World Cup victory.

Murmurs emerged from his displeasure with the reluctance of the selectors to leave the seniors, but Dhoni held on. The World Cup was won with a shot on home soil, which made a name for itself in the folklore of cricket and was later announced by Sunil Gavaskar as his will. After that there was a stretch in his career which divides opinion till date. It is a part of his cricketing life that his biopic Adrolike skips and refuses to accept his dying fans. Soon after the high level of the World Cup, he led India to twin whitewash in England and Australia, and inexplicably retained his job, which led to the famous veto of then BCCI president N Srinivasan (in).

The following year, the IPL spot-fixing scandal broke and Rajasthan Royals and Chennai Super Kings were suspended for two years in a Supreme Court-appointed panel. It says a lot that when someone questioned about Rahul Dravid's intentions, there were enough uncomfortable statements about the Royals captain, his CSK counterpart and his link with Srinivasan, whose India Cements franchise had a Chennai-based franchise .

He was accused of lying to a panel led by Justice Mukul Mudgal, who called him a "cricket enthusiast", saving Srinivasan's son-in-law Gurunath Meiyappan, even as the investigation led him to be a team official Was confirmed. Then, a small case of 13 names given to the top court by Justice Mudgal is in a sealed envelope that the cricket-loving public seems to have forgotten.

Soon after the spot-fixing scandal, Dhoni appeared before the media in a pre-departure press before the Champions Trophy. Despite customary gags, some journalists questioned Dhoni on CSK's controversial role in the sly episode, but all the Indian captains smiled sarcastically. The most influential person in Indian cricket was a diminutive, smiling duck, squirting to eliminate pressure to subside. In a script that questioned CSK's role in the darkest phase of Indian cricket since the match-fixing scandal in 2000, he could only dream, he returned with the trophy.

A few years later, after India registered a one-run win over Bangladesh in the World T20, Dhoni's criticism of Amitabh Bachchan's tweet for "not adding anything" has led commentator Harsha Bhogle to speak on Bangladesh Criticism led to the BCCI removing the ace commentator from its panel. .

After a few matches, when India crashed out of the event with a surprise defeat to the West Indies in the semi-finals, Dhoni invited an Australian journalist to the stage and put on a show. Mind you, it was not a good nature. It was the most powerful player in world cricket who described the press as a way to back-off. This is an exercise in itself to understand why he chose the most appropriate way to do so. It is natural for a man who was unfairly hounded by the TV media - albeit nine years ago - not to do his job, but to humiliate a journalist who did not conform to a person of his stature. The BCCI, as they are used to, chose not to do anything about it.

MS Dhoni is more than he wants to believe, to build himself up, especially in moments of weakness. To regain the captaincy one must let his career flow a second, but this was not to be. He scored, but the innings of the match was reserved for CSK.

Last year's World Cup tried them out and thoroughly examined the methods of testing innings, and one suspected that a failure was only a few innings away. For him and for India, it reached the semi-finals against New Zealand. He scored a half-century, but the lasting image would be to leave him off-stump and inadvertently giving up the run chase. He had his final appearance on the cricket field; An anti-climatic end to a career built on enterprise, courage and conviction.

MS Dhoni was the last link between Tendulkar's chastity and Kohli's imprudence.

However, there should be no more regrets. For a generation of Indian cricket fans, Dhoni was one of the final episodes of the Golden Generation - one connecting Sachin and Dravid's refined purity with Kohli and Rohit's apathy. He was no saint, no god, and quite enough, never pretended to be one. For all Indian public cricketers to live in, he succeeded in building an island for himself and his family, and in the process, acquired his legacy in the history of India's rich cricketing history.

As Dhoni makes time for a memorable career, the vignettes hit sixes for the fun of Muscat-Tyro, among them handing the ball to Joginder Sharma, six of Wankhede, in the final over of the World T20 final, for disqualification. The smile that spoke the small of those empty, sleepy eyes that showed nothing. Choose whichever you like, they all relate to the mystery that launched a million middle-class dreams.

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Intro to Python - Whiteboard Friday

Posted by BritneyMuller

Python is a programming language that can help you uncover incredible SEO insights and save you time by automating time-consuming tasks. But for those who haven't explored this side of search, it can be intimidating. In this episode of Whiteboard Friday, Britney Muller and a true python expert named Pumpkin offer an intro into a helpful tool that's worth your time to learn.

Click on the whiteboard image above to open a high resolution version in a new tab!

Video Transcription

Hey, Moz fans. Welcome to another edition of Whiteboard Friday. Today we're talking all about introduction to Python, which is why I have a special co-host here. She is a ball python herself, total expert. Her name is Pumpkin, and she's the best. 

What is Python?

So what is Python? This has been in the industry a lot lately. There's a lot of commotion that you should know how to use it or know how to talk about it. Python is an open source, object-oriented programming language that was created in 1991.

Simpler to use than R

Some fun facts about Python is it's often compared to R, but it's arguably more simple to use. The syntax just oftentimes feels more simple and common-sense, like when you're new to programming. 

Big companies use it

Huge companies use it. NASA, Google, tons of companies out there use it because it's widely supported.

It's open source

It is open source. So pretty cool. While we're going through this Whiteboard Friday, I would love it if we would do a little Python programming today. So I'm just going to ask that you also visit this in another tab, python.org/downloads. Download the version for your computer and we'll get back to that. 

Why does Python matter?

So why should you care? 

Automates time-consuming tasks

Python is incredibly powerful because it helps you automate time-consuming tasks. It can do these things at scale so that you can free up your time to work on higher-level thinking, to work on more strategy. It's really, really exciting where these things are going. 

Log file analysis

Some examples of that are things like log file analysis. Imagine if you could just set up an automated system with Python to alert you any time one of your primary pages wasn't being crawled as frequently as it typically is. You can do all sorts of things. Let's say Google crawls your robots.txt and it throws out a server error, which many of you know causes huge problems. It can alert you. You can set up scripts like that to do really comprehensive tasks. 

Internal link analysis

Some other examples, internal link analysis, it can do a really great job of that. 

Discover keyword opportunities

It can help you discover keyword opportunities by looking at bulk keyword data and identifying some really important indicators. 

Image optimization

It's really great for things like image optimization. It can auto tag and alt text images. It can do really powerful things there. 

Scrape websites

It can also scrape the websites that you're working with to do really high volume tasks. 

Google Search Console data analysis

It can also pull Google Search Console data and do analysis on those types of things.

I do have a list of all of the individuals within SEO who are currently doing really, really powerful things with Python. I highly suggest you check out some of Hamlet Batista's recent scripts where he's using Python to do all sorts of really cool SEO tasks. 

How do you run Python?

What does this even look like? So you've hopefully downloaded Python as a programming language on your computer. But now you need to run it somewhere. Where does that live? 

Set up a virtual environment using Terminal

So first you should be setting up a virtual environment. But for the purpose of these examples, I'm just going to ask that you pull up your terminal application.

It looks like this. You could also be running Python within something like Jupyter Notebook or Google Colab. But just pull up your terminal and let's check and make sure that you've downloaded Python properly. 

Check to make sure you've downloaded Python properly

So the first thing that you do is you open up the terminal and just type in "python --version." You should see a readout of the version that you downloaded for your computer. That's awesome. 

Activate Python and perform basic tasks

So now we're just going to activate Python and do some really basic tasks. So just type in "python" and hit Enter. You should hopefully see these three arrow things within your terminal. From here, you can do something like print ("Hello, World!"). So you enter it exactly like you see it here, hit Enter, and it will say "Hello, World!" which is pretty cool.



You can also do fun things like just basic math. You can add two numbers together using something like this. So these are individual lines. After you complete the print (sum), you'll see the readout of the sum of those two numbers. You can randomly generate numbers. I realize these aren't direct SEO applications, but these are the silly things that give you confidence to run programs like what Hamlet talks about.

Have fun — try creating a random number generator

So I highly suggest you just have fun, create a little random number generator, which is really cool. Mine is pulling random numbers from 0 to 100. You can do 0 to 10 or whatever you'd like. A fun fact, after you hit Enter and you see that random number, if you want to continue, using your up arrow will pull up the last command within your terminal.

It even goes back to these other ones. So that's a really quick way to rerun something like a random number generator. You can just crank out a bunch of them if you want for some reason. 

Automating different tasks

This is where you can start to get into really cool scripts as well for pulling URLs using Requests HTML. Then you can pull unique information from web pages.

You can pull at bulk tens of thousands of title tags within a URL list. You can pull things like H1s, canonicals, all sorts of things, and this makes it incredibly easy to do it at scale. One of my favorite ways to pull things from URLs is using xpath within Python.

This is a lot easier than it looks. So this might be an xpath for some websites, but websites are marked up differently. So when you're trying to pull something from a particular site, you can right-click into Chrome Developer Tools. Within Chrome Developer Tools, you can right-click what it is that you're trying to scrape with Python.

You just select "Copy xpath," and it will give you the exact xpath for that website, which is kind of a fun trick if you're getting into some of this stuff. 

Libraries

What are libraries? How do we make this stuff more and more powerful? Python is really strong on its own, but what makes it even stronger are these libraries or packages which are add-ons that do incredible things.

This is just a small percentage of libraries that can do things like data collection, cleaning, visualization, processing, and deployment. One of my favorite ways to get some of the more popular packages is just to download Anaconda, because it comes with all of these commonly used, most popular packages.

So it's kind of a nice way to get all of it in one spot or at least most of them. 

Learn more

So you've kind of dipped your toes and you kind of understand what Python is and what people are using it for. Where can you learn more? How can you start? Well, Codecademy has a really great Python course, as well as Google, Kaggle, and even the Python.org website have some really great resources that you can check out.

This is a list of individuals I really admire in the SEO space, who are doing incredible work with Python and have all inspired me in different ways. So definitely keep an eye on what they are up to:

Hamlet Batista

Ruth Everett

Tom Donahue

Kristin Tynski

Paul Shapiro

Tyler Reardon

JR Oakes

Hulya Coban

@Jessthebp

But yeah, Pumpkin and I have really enjoyed this, and we hope you did too. So thank you so much for joining us for this special edition of Whiteboard Friday. We will see you soon. Bye, guys.

Video transcription by Speechpad.com

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