#I will HAPPILY share my pizza with u tho

[bonkalore]

#this makes me think of bonka's bleeding magic au#but i mean that very positively#like you the artist have extracted the threads of a story i legit enjoy#from a tapestry i had no interest in at best#and would actively dislike at worst#please consider comments like this a compliment#i prefer your vision to the canon

LDKJFASDKF I WAS GONNA SHARE THE POST AND TAG THE BLEEDING MAGIC AU BUT YOU ALREADY DID!!!! 😂😂😂

gOD that is so funny.

THank yoU!!

literally so embarrassing to have someone go "i don't go here" or "what's this from?" on my art and it's a rarepair/crackship that is in no way representative of the source material... and i have to be like. well you see, the rest of the restaurant's menu is not like this. i'm doing my own thing eating black olives right out of the can in the back-of-house. whether or not you want me to throw you a can, you have to understand that's not what they serve out front

[costellos]

tell me who you’d take on a date and where you would go! — CLOSED

@thisbloghasnoaesthetic​ asked: Id love to take Jotaro on a date. Just something chill. Like getting some good food. Or just sitting together doing nothing. I'd love to just read a book with my head on his shoulder. Just enjoying eachothers quiet comfort :)

omg that sounds like a great date for Jotaro! he definitely seems like the type to want a chill date. he’d probably opt for something that offers takeout if you’re referencing Part 3!Joot, somewhere a little nicer but just as casual if you’re referencing Part 4!Joot. and while you’re reading, you might just catch a teeny, tiny smile on his lips. but don’t say anything or you’ll ruin the moment 🤭💕

anonymous asked: i would wanna take kakyoin out to an indoor roller rink so we could rollerskate together 🥺 it’s one of the things i like to do most and i’d wanna skate around w him while holding hands! also cause he’s tall, i feel like it’d be hard for him to keep balance and prevent himself from falling lolll. but we could go out to an ice cream place nearby afterwards and watch the sun set (if the time is right) 💗

how cute!! sharing something you love with the one you love most... I dig it. Kakyoin would be soooo embarrassed, though! he just wants to impress you but his center of gravity is absolutely awful. rip. at the end of the day, however, he’d be so appreciative that you shared something so personal with him. ❤️ let him pay for the ice cream, it’s the least he can do!! and maybe hold your hand while you watch the sunset 🌅

@lavaicerinkk​ asked: I would ask mista, probably to like a concert or something like that. We'd probably go as homies, then when we get home id be like "what if we kissed haha" and hed be like 😳😳 ok, and then we live happily ever after

LMAAAAOOOOO. I feel like this is v in character for Mista.... he’d be caught so off guard by it! esp since he probably would’ve accepted that you were just friends. not that he’d say no, tho 👀 he’d just be like, “wait, for real?” and waste no time kissing you after you gave him permission. what a happy ending. 💕

@murcx04​ asked: Take someone on a date huh hmmmmm- Josuke is my bet HAHA Hed be so refreshing to be with óuò. And we'd go shopping kfbfjfn And that where- he'll just show his pleading eyes and want you to buy the shoes he wants oh boy-

I agree, he would be a very refreshing plus one! I think a shopping date would be v traditional with him. I’m imagining you both at the mall, where he cackles at all the weird sex stuff at Spencer’s and shares his food court soft pretzel with you. 🥨 he probably wouldn’t explicitly say that he wants new shoes, but he’d nudge you and be like, “hey. if you wanna know what to get me for my birthday...” and point to the Air Force 1′s on display. so subtle. 🙄

anonymous asked: tbh i think i'd like to take kira out to dinner and go on a walk. i know its a simple date but i think he's really neat and i don't really like big or flashy events and i don't think he would either kjfnksnjks. its just sumn that would suit both of us nice

ooo interesting choice, nonnie! I 100% agree with you on this one. Kira would probably take you to one of those restaurants that have private rooms. I think some ritzier places are like that? anyway, he’d want to focus this date all on you. no mindless chatter from other patrons, no screaming children — the more noise he can minimize, the better. and during your walk, I can see him allowing you to take the reins on the conversation. he just finds everything you say so fascinating! 🌷💗

@catnymous​ asked: I'd take Fugo first to just a simple lil cafe then to the park :3

Cat!! I missed you!! you should come into the askbox more often, I always enjoy your replies. in the meantime, Fugo probably overthinks a lot so this date would be casual enough for him to relax. he would probably opt for some coffee and a slice of cake that he can share with you 🍰❤️ and a stroll through the park would be the perfect way to walk off the calories! (plus when you get to a fountain he’ll probably make some corny wish about getting to spend more days with you like this a;sdfkjl)

anonymous asked: Idk if you’re familiar with part 7... but I would bring Johnny to the planetarium; it’s a place that I love, and bringing him to a place special to me would mean a lot, I think. I’d tell him all of my favorite things about space. And, it’s a little mushy, but I’d remind him that just because you can’t always see the stars doesn’t mean they’re not there; every one is special and the same is for people. And of course, it would be a fun day out to appreciate the beautiful things in the world

unfortunately, I’m not familiar with Part 7... :( but thank you so much for sharing nonetheless! this is such a heart-warming confession 💕 I wish there was more I could say; I love that you’d share all your favorite things about space, and how everything and everyone is special. 💫 such a beautiful confession. 

@serenityblaze44​ asked: I would take Bruno and/or Abbacchio to a conservatory or garden, maybe bring a picnic. Nothing too exciting, just time to relax and spend time together. Then go home for cuddles.

por que no los dos? ahaha nah I’m joking... unless 👀 no but for real, this sounds ideal for both of them! ❤️ they would both appreciate the time to unwind. I could see Abbacchio prepping all the food, while Bucciarati handles everything else (packing the blanket, utensils, alcohol, etc.). they’d probably opt for somewhere outside of Naples since it’s far too crowded in the city. afterwards, be prepared for a gr8 nap between two warm, loving boys!!

anonymous asked: I'd take Kakyoin on a date! I think it would be really fun to go somewhere like an amusement park or arcade so we could just kinda be stupid together and forget our problems. Id go on the Ferris wheel and try to kiss him at the top but he'd probably shake the cart the whole time to freak me out 😂😂 After everything he's gone through, he deserves to have a lot of fun and id love to see him smile 🥰😍

aw friend, this is such a sweet scenario! hopefully the Ferris wheel doesn’t give him too many bad memories of Death Thirteen though ope,, anyway, what a lovely way to forget about all the stuff he’s endured! he’d playfully challenge you to some arcade games (and I’m using “playfully” lightly here) and then destroy you. 🙄 but it’s okay, any tickets he gets will immediately go to a cute stuffed animal just for you 🧸

@hadesaedes​ asked: OOOH I’d have to go with either Yukako or Koichi (even tho i have like TWO hands either is fine). Yukako is a very passionate and strong lover which I LOVE cause im shy with affection so being bold with it is MWUAH. While Koichi is also passionate I like to think he enjoys more simple and low key dates which is my type of thing. Having to just bask in each other’s company without having to fill the silence is GREAT. THEY ARE BOTH GREAT!!! In this essay I will-

AHHH A+ CHOICES, FRIEND. Yukako and Koichi would spoil you so much!! they’d handle any date expenses (movie tickets, food, etc.) and would adore having any opportunity to hold your hand 😊 Yukako would probably be more physically affectionate; she’ll either have her hand on top of yours or her feet wrapped between yours when sitting. Koichi would opt for compliments, praising you on how cool and smart you are! wow, what a supportive pair 🤝

anonymous asked: It's very hard to choose, but I'd go on a date with Bruno. Idk I'm just very gay for him. He knows a lot of nice and fancy places in Naples, but since that's not really my world, I'd take him to a small coffee shop or something. Nothing fancy or expensive but still very enjoyable. Maybe some ice cream. Walking through the city and going to a restaurant in the evening. Maybe something fancy this time, or just a simple pizza

how lovely!! Bucciarati would honestly be open to try anything, but I think a small coffee shop would be v enjoyable for him. there’s so much you can learn about someone over a cup of joe. ☕ since he’s been living in / around Naples his whole life, he’d probably share some neat facts about the city while on your stroll! “the Amalfi Coast is best known for its limoncello liqueur. I know a great place to try it if you’re interested.” 🍋

@moloko-tyan​ asked: Hello, little bird💫sending you rays of love and positive energy! This new event is so much fun. Several hours I wondered with who I wanted to go out, ahah. And I think it would be Erina. She deserves to have fun especially after all those awful events in her life. We would go to atelier. We could go through fabrics to choose which fits the best. We would look at lovely laces, buttons, jewels and we would argue about models of dresses and evening gowns. I want her to feel safe🌻 thank u so much!

friend! I always get so excited when you pop into my askbox!! ty for participating 💕 Erina is such a great choice imo. and this is such a creative date! she’d have so much fun running her fingers over all the interesting fabrics. Erina would take the most beautiful dresses and hold them up against you, saying how lovely the color suits you. 👗 although she’d be too shy to try those dresses on herself, she would have so much fun spending the day with you!!

anonymous asked: I hope it's okay to send this (I honestly don't want you to get overwhelmed)! But if it's okay: I would love to take Fugo on a date! I love this boy with all my heart and I would love to travel with him to my country to a town next to the sea and give him a tour of its history (and visit the local art and history museums there)! And later grab some ice cream and walk along the seafront in the evening where there are less people and just enjoy the walk together as the sun sets. -Turtle Anon🐢

oooohh, Turtle Anon!! thank you for your concern. you’re all good, don’t worry! anywho, that’s a wonderful date for Fugo. he would have an absolute blast reading about all the art and history your country has to offer 🏛️ you might have to push him along though, he’s the type to absorb everything n really slow down when reading... but at the end of the day, as you’re walking along the beach, he’d thank you for sharing a part of yourself with him. he’d be so honored! ☀️

anonymous asked: tbh i'd love to take narancia on a super spontaneous date... only the date and time are set, the entire day is just going around town and doing whatever stupid fun random things,, eating street food and going into shops to try on random fits and running around laughing, mayhaps go to an arcade, or do some karaoke. and then wind down at like a mcdonalds late at night, tired but happy and satisfied.. hhh nara is v fun i just wanna hang out w him honestly 🤕😔🤕😔

yeeeess this is the perfect date for Narancia!! he loves spontaneous stuff like this. he’d have so much fun gorging himself on street food and playing around with weird fits. he’d probably put on the stupidest things he can find, like this. and if you go to karaoke, be ready to screech some absolute bangers. he will not take anything less than confident (yet bad), loud (yet joyous) singing. 🎤 n while he might be falling nodding off at the McDonald’s, he’d sleepily tell you how amazing the day was and how he wants to do this again 💕

@tomomi012​ asked: I'm going to share another ideal date idea, but with Kakyoin. I'd like us to go to one of those cat cafes in Japan. I mean, cats, coffee and a cute Japanese boy, is this heaven? and I would tell him: "Nori, today I am in heaven"

ofc, share all you want! omg... I love this idea..... Kakyoin would be so soft anytime a cat approaches him. he’d do a little “pspsps” and hold out his finger for them to smell. and once a cat actually nudges him, he’d just melt! he wouldn’t show it outwardly, but you can see it in how bright his eyes get. I think Kakyoin would be the type to either attract a ton of cats or cats hate him, there’s no in between. 😭❤️ both make for some gr8 scenarios, though! 

@pommmejuice​​ asked: for your post about taking a character on a date :,) i think i’d like to take abba to art museums/cultural centers ,, i’d love to talk to him about my culture and what life is like (if he’d be interested;; lol) n maybe afterwards while we get italian food he can talk to me about what italian culture is like, the parts that aren’t shown in the media 🥺 so uh a date where we’re both learning new things about each other hehe

n maybeeeee take fugo to a café where we can study together n talk about our favorite things in our lives/culture.... n maybe hold hands on the table and maybe stare into his eyes tenderly ... you know because he’s my BFF (Best Friend Forever) .. you know how best friends do.. 😳

ooo Ireeene I figured you’d say Abbacchio :3c but that’s such a cute date for him! ofc he’d be interested in learning more about you!! you wouldn’t see it, but every time you share something you that you love about your culture, Abbacchio’s gaze on you would be so loving... 💖 he adores that you’re sharing so personal with him (of all people!!). and he’d get a kick out of telling you misconceptions about Italy. don’t get him started on how much he hates the Mario Bros.

as for Fugo, he would react similarly. I could see him ask more questions about your culture, while Abbacchio lets you go on and on. he’s so interested in everything about you!! and the moment you hold his hand... wow... get ready to see some intense blushing... he wouldn’t pull away, but his attention would turn to something else and his stutter would be apparent. pull yourself together, Fugo! 😤

anonymous asked: I'd take Rohan on a date, I'm a lil gay for that trash man. Tbh, it would either be an amazing date or a total disaster. I think we'd plan something fun and relaxing, like going to an art gallery or seeing a movie, but we'd end up in an adventure because that's what keeps happening to Rohan for some reason. At the end of the day we'd go to a restaurant to put a normal ending to that strange day

HAHAHA omggg friend this is a pretty accurate description of Rohan’s life. I think he’d be really annoyed that the day ended up this way, but he’s glad that he got to spend it with someone he tolerates. 💕 Rohan would try to push past those feelings once you go to the restaurant. this date is still salvageable!! he might complain a lil, but ultimately, he’d try to focus on you and what you enjoyed 🥰

@xxbluejayxx​ asked: For the Jojo date thing, I'd take Abbacchio. Well not really picky about the kind of date, I feel a nice quiet one at home would be best. It could be a homemade dinner, a movie night, or both. When it comes down to it, for me anytime spent with someone I love is time well spent, and that is something I will willingly admit

this is such a peaceful date for Abbacchio! I agree, a quiet date at home would be best. 😊❤️ as I mentioned in other scenarios, he’d likely take over kitchen duties. no need to worry about anything, just tell him what you want and he’d whip it up for you! and when it comes time to watch the movie, he’d tell you to sit a lil closer to him... he’s not very good with verbalizing affection, but he loves when he can feel your skin against his.

anonymous asked: I reeally wanna take Polnareff on a date. He deserves it sooo much. He's such a handsome sweetie. Id turn on the charm for him for once, like he always does. I have a beautiful image in my head of an outdoor patio restaurant with hundreds of strings of lights. We both dress up and have a lovely meal under the stars and magical lights, and then our favorite song plays and we have a dance beneath the lights. I think it would be goofy and romantic, stepping on toes as we attempt to dance around 😍

ahhh Polnareff would be so flattered to have you flirt with him! he’d probably get a lil flustered since this is nicer than what he’s used to, but seeing you dressed to the nines would make make him go 🥵 likewise, he’d push himself through the situation by just focusing on you. and when you start dancing... wow!! he’d lose himself laughing and being absolutely miserable at showing his moves. but it doesn’t matter, because he’s here with you and everything is okay ⭐

@rat-makes-stuff asked: Ok so I would take Giorno back to my home state of Michigan. Mafia boss has got to be tired as hell, so what's better than walking through the woods and collecting rocks at Lake Huron (I'm biased that's my favorite lake no CAP). We would watch the sun set and then look at the stars when they come out. Wildflower picking, trying to see how many deer we can find, and picnics by the lake? Yes pleaseee

before I start, Tumblr wasn’t letting me tag you in this!! so I hope you still see my response :( anyway, this is such a relaxing date! Don Giorno would love to unwind in nature. he’d probably take some stones he found near Lake Huron and turn them into a bouquet of flowers for you! 💐and since he’s probably never seen the sky without light pollution, he’d be astonished at how beautiful the sky is. he wouldn’t be able to say anything, just pull you close to him and thank you for taking him out here 🌠

[iketeruki]

I am sorry if this question is kinda out-of-the-blue-ish but how was it to meet An Cafe? I love to hear other people their experiences!! And I love your blog!!

No need to apologize, i love sharing my experiences and memories! and thank you so much, this warms my heart a lot. ♡ im sorry it took AGES to answer. ^^;So i’ve seen An Cafe twice but the first time i had “only” the regular ticket cause i wasn’t fast enough to get the vip upgrade…. i was so sad back then but the whole concert was amazing experience already!But since we’re talking about actually meeting the band, i’m only going to talk about the 2014 concert’s meet&greet. if you want to hear about the concert as well, pls tell me and i’ll gladly tell about it too. Okay so throwback to march, 2014. I came to hang out in front of the concert place a lil too late to see An Cafe going inside so i didn’t see them then but i heard that they had happily waved to the fans waiting outside and everyone had been so shook that they hardly could wave back and say hello, hehe. but i was early enough to meet Junior. He took pictures of the fans outside and when he saw my fan , he chatted with me a moment about it. (it was one of those you see on gokutama rock cafe album’s dvd) After going inside the venue, i was quick enough to buy my concert merch. (i bought the bag and t-shirt) and then we went to the concert hall that was still empty. We stood in a half circle, everyone had gotten their VIP stuff and we were waiting for An Cafe. We were told to cheer loud so they’d come from the backstage and we did. An Cafe walked to the room and first they looked at us , a little smile on their face. I honestly couldn’t believe my eyes at first, it felt so unreal. and i became SO SHY. At first were told to ask them questions. There were some questions like “what is the first thing you think when you hear Finland” etc. I was so shocked i couldn’t really say anything and i kept on staring each member like “are you really there omg?” Miku noticed my fan at one point and just kept on staring at it for a moment .At one point we didn’t know what to ask anymore so teruki had a questions for us. “Who, from the an cafe, is the most moomin?” We had to choose one and when they said the name of the member we had chose , we had to cheep/clap. I think i chose takuya but miku won. if i remember correctly.after that we went to line and it was time for the photo. At that moment we could give presents to the members if we had any and we could have a small chat. As i said, i was feeling really shy. My two friends and I had had a little fanproject where we did shirts for each member. I did one to teruki , my one friend (who couldn’t come to the concert) did one for kanon and my other friend did the ones for miku, yuuki and takuya. Tho i helped with figuring out what photos we put there on yuuki’s and takuya’s. (so it was a plain white t-shirt and we painted)Since my friend who did one to kanon wasn’t there, my other friend (who did yuuki’s, takuya’s and miku’s shirts) gave the shirt to kanon and i could give mine to teruki.. so teruki was so confused when he was only one who didn’t get the shirt. then my friend pointed out at me, saying i would give him the shirt. 

When it was my turn, Teruki turned his attention on me and was walking towards me. at the same time i was asked who my favorite member was and even though i very well heard it, i answered “what?” and i was asked again and then i could answer teruki. I walked towards the members and teruki was like “WHOOOAA AWESOME” when he saw the fan i was holding and i was a lil awkward like “whoa why are you like this help is this really happening?!?!” and then teruki noticed the t-shirt and he was singing “t-shit, t-shirt, t-shirtt” and i was just laughing a lil and gave it to him with nodding and saying “yess, it’s for you.” i had painted a cat , similar to the one he had posted photos on fb. and i wrote nyan nyan. (it came from that one interview during my heart leaps for “c” era)he praised it and looked at it and all of the members were watching it as well. Even though i was super shy, i was brave enough to ask for a hug and he was like “yeah of course.” then i thanked him for everything. Then it was turn for miku and i hugged and thanked him as well. Then when it was time for Kanon, i remembered that i had a bracelet and card my friend gave me. She adores kanon a lot and i promised to give those to him. Miku looked at the card as well and was like “ohh that’s so well drawn”. Then I hugged and thank Takuya as well. Yuuki was leaning of the fence behind, he thought i wouldn’t want to hug him ??? so when i came in front of him and asked for a hug , he was like “yeah sure” HIS HUGS ARE THE BEST I FELT SO WARM HONESTLY. he was so sweet and he thanked me that i wanted to hug him ? and i thanked him for coming to finland and being a sweetheart. Then we took the picture, i was next to teruki and danggg i was nervous. before taking the picture i noticed i still had my stuff and i was trying to search my friend and i was like “omghe jw jonna where are you?” but in english in stead of finnish. well jonna heard it, but so did miku and he repeated what i said but in that high pitched voice. you know that what he used during ryuusei rocket/cherry saku yuuki era on that one comment where he first says normally “nyappy” and then high pitched “nyappyyy” :DD i was like “did u just”anyway, after the photo teruki gave me the signed cd. he usually says thank you. but he somehow got what i was thinking when i wrote the nyan nyan on the shirt. so he said nyan nyan. in the same way they did in the interview. (idk if they said nyan nyan in the interview but in sounds similar). i was so happy and shocked and rgoh . iT WAS AWESOME.anyway, i got in the first row on the left side. i was right in front of kanon and i saw teruki perfectly as well. and it was one of the best concerts in my life.after the concert we stayed outside the concert venue and saw An Cafe. Their car was parked right in front of the front door so we stayed and said goodbyes and good nights. Kanon was super tired so he didn’t say much nor did Takuya. But Miku chose his seat so he had a perfect view on us and he looked like he wanted to get out of the car and come to talk with us etc. i told him im going to miss him and an cafe and he was looking at us a bit sad and said he is going to miss us too and he promised to come back as soon as possible. and he thanked us and i said “no thank YOU for coming”. Yuuki was super sweet he came a bit later and told us good night. Teruki was the last one to go, it took him a while tbh. and when he came out he was eating pizza and when he noticed us he started to laugh a lil and raised the pizza piece and said “oishii desu” and then he thanked us for the concert. sorry this came out longer than i was expecting. but that’s my experience.Oh and i wanna add something, a lil random but what warms my heart still.A little before 2012 tour started, i tweeted miku that i was so happy to see an cafe and i couldn’t wait the concert. and i told him also that i was sure that the setlist would be awesome anyways, but it would personally mean so much to me if ryuusei rocket was on the setlist. It wasn’t at that year (obviously they’re not changing the setlist 2 days before the concert starts) but he started to follow me a little after i tweeted that. And on 2014 tour’s setlist, RYUUSEI ROCKET WAS THERE. i’m not saying it was right after that and it might have been a coincident but i like to believe that it might have had something to do with the tweet. Anyways, i was so happy after that happened. 

[izzy-b-hands]

On mobile so I can't put a read more, but I'm going to try and tag well--I need to vent. ----------- So today has been the worst day dealing with my mom in awhile. Like we've been in an okay patch where she hasn't been giving so many mixed messages and orders, but that came roaring back today for some reason. It starts out crappy because we head to my tattoo appointment, but my artist was sick and had to reschedule (though please note I'm not mad at him in any way, I'm glad he was going home rather than suffering sick thru work, because I know how much that sucks no matter what your job is. It just made me sad that I wasn't getting tattooed today and those appointments are like spa days for me.) Before we left for the shop though, she was super pissy and generally making me not want her there at the appointment because I didn't want her bugging my artist or being fussy at having to wait for my appointment to be over (which she's done at past tattoo appointments that I did offer to go to alone by getting a cab or taking the bus.) Anyway, after the tattoo shop we decide to go run a quick shopping trip, and our interactions go down hill. We're both struggling financially right now, but I've been buying a lot for the both of us the past week. But she asks me to get this trip, so I say yes because it won't do any good to say no. Then we get there and she's grabbing extra stuff not on our list, half assedly asking if it's okay even when the thing is in the cart and we're eight aisles away already--like, I'm not gonna argue and say no at that point, cause she'd just get pissy. The store was busy too, so we were both starting to get upset in general. Now, I will note that my fragile emotional state today wasn't all due to her. The whole 'you're still stuck at a shitty job in ND and haven't totally gotten your writing off the ground' thing has been hitting hard for a couple weeks, but especially today. But I wasn't complaining or bugging her with it, I was just trying to ignore those feelings. At the end of it she's rude to the teen cashier, (she knows that behavior is something I don't tolerate), but we get to the car. I offer to buy lunch out from a place we both like because at that point I was more treating myself than her. Like, I'm on the verge of emotionally overwhelmed tears in the car from the day and stuff building up for weeks and she's just hopping cause she gets her fav food. I was literally crying (quietly though) as we left the parking lot and she keeps going on about what sandwich she's getting. At first I thought she didn't notice, but then she looks over and goes "Oh," and that's it. So she noticed, and normally would at least be like, "hey, you're crying, is everything okay?" Not at that moment. In the drive through I started crying more, because I honestly couldn't help it (that hasn't stopped either, I'm on like my tenth cry of the day right now) and then she finally showed concern. I couldn't tell her anything she had done to cause it (in the past that's earned me shouting and 'ungrateful brat' kind of comments that she swears later she didn't mean) but I did explain the wanting to move and earn my primary income from my art frustrations though, and she surprised me by being kind and supportive. I thought we were okay then and the day would be okay. Wrong. We eat, she decides to nap cause she was getting a headache, I decide to play GTA V for an hour or two. The cat wakes her up in about that time (I tried to get Nish to let my mom sleep, but she wanted both her humans awake and wouldn't take any food or toys I offered.) Mom's mood is wildly different then. She's angry. She complains about clothes being ready to hang in the washer (I didn't see or hear her put them in, or I would have taken care of them) and goes to do that. I follow, and try to fix things by taking the basket and offering to help. As soon as we get in to the room we hang the clothes in to dry, she's even angrier. First I'm taking the dry clothes down too slowly, then too quickly when I hang up wet ones in their place. Then I'm hanging the clothes wrong on the hanger. I tried for a bit to make it work, but she was ripping clothes out of my hand, tossing the laundry basket around, and pushing empty hangers to the floor in the same way an angry toddler would. So I get her the extra hangers from my room, hang up my dry clothes in my closet, and go back to my laptop in the living room, and turn it all off. That was the breaking point for me--I knew she'd be pissed at me next for playing a game (that's the usual cycle of these situations no matter what I'm doing--if I'm just sitting there doing nothing then I'm still doing something wrong) so I closed it down. Here comes the mixed messages. She asks when she goes back to the couch, suddenly really quietly, why I'm packing my stuff up. I tell her I have a headache and want to be in my room (partially true, though it isn't a bad enough headache that I'd go lie down) she acts sad, but let's me go and I leave trying to figure out her 360 emotional spin. Fast forward a few hours of me crying quietly in my room, panicking over how she might act for dinner and how even though my psychologist said to stand up for myself and call out her behavior and how she'd be totally pissed at me if I'd acted like she had all day I still can't bring myself to say anything because I'm afraid of my mom yelling when I do that. There's a quick, tense discussion on what to do for dinner a bit later, and dinner itself wasn't awful, just uncomfortable (in part because we had pizza and I had to eat all the pieces left, or she'd do her usual spiel about how I don't eat left overs fast enough so I shouldn't leave them, yet she can leave them because she's formally dieting and I'm not.) I try to go back to my room and she stops me. "Bye," she says in a voice equal parts sad and offended. Now, no matter what I'd done here would have been a problem. In past moments like this, there have been some where she guilted me to staying in the living room (but then acted nasty towards me if I fell asleep and didn't wake her up to help remind her to take out her contacts or get her to bed at a decent hour) and some where I've gone back to my room (and she'd pop in every couple of hours to ask if I still wasn't coming back out, glare at anything I might have on the floor, and sigh even when my room is clean--the issue I've found there is that it isn't clean in the way she'd clean it, so it pisses her off, no matter how much I try and clean 'her way' even when executive dysfunction makes it hard.) Tonight, I chose my room, which brings us to now. She already popped in once, as I was typing so I had to hide my iPad so she wouldn't see this post. I already know she'll have fallen asleep in the living room, so I can't fall asleep yet in case she doesn't wake up by ten or elevenish on her own to go into her bedroom. And I get her headache might be making her feel like shit, but here's the rub-- We've been having these moments and situations since I was four. I know everyone has days where they act shitty cause they don't feel well, but why does she expect me to just ignore her on those days when she never lets me have a day like that. If I acted how she did today, she'd have yelled and been angry with me (even tho she stresses now how we're just as much roommates as mom and kid since I'm an adult, so we should treat each other more like roommates.) I was the one who was gracious and asked my artist if he was okay to check out my healing before he left (which he happily did, and he said he was glad I let him check because it showed responsibility as a tattoo owner that he doesn't always see) while she whined that we shouldn't have to pay for the visit and embarrassed the hell out of me (they didn't charge because we didn't tattoo today, and none of the artists at the shop have ever said they'd charge for a literal 'roll up your sleeve for two minutes and let me look' thing, tho I think they probably could and should--I'm willing to hand over my money to people who care about me and the art on my body.) I was the one who kept us on track during shopping and got us home at a decent time, with lunch, even tho my anxiety was at an all time high and I was already an over emotional mess. And I was the one trying to find a way to make her happy, even after she'd made me cry a few times over. I just wonder how long I'm going to go thru this with her. My five year plan now is to save up to move to California, but it's killing me I can't go now. To be closer to other artists and collab and share my art with them (one book in the series I'm writing is nearly done with my editing, the second books first draft is written, and I started writing the third books first draft this week, and I didn't even plan on it becoming a series); to be away from my mom and my family's bullshit; to be in a state that will protect my orientation and gender identity (they can still fire u for that first one in ND)--it all feels so close yet so far away and days like today I just feel so tired of living the way I am, yet I don't have the money or options to change anything yet. This got way too long--if u read it all, thank u but also I'm sorry. U can tell it got too long cause I've given up typing as formally as I usually do. Anyway, I should take this moment to thank u all for still following me and reading my blog--writing and rants alike. It's a small comfort, but it makes me feel less alone. And on days like today, that's one of the few things I have. Here's to hoping for easier days with family, for me and any of u guys that might be struggling with similar issues right now. If any of u ever need to vent, my ear is ready to listen (and comfort if u want.)

[curvyqt]

0 to 100 real quick

1. What have you eaten today? cereal, two slices of pizza

2. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant? my boy and ohyes

3. What color shoes did you last wear? black and purple adidas

4. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week? aj always makes me laugh my booty off

5. What is your favorite scent? aj’s shower gel tbh

6. What is your favorite season? Why? Ive decided on summer bc the beach, pool, bathing suits, messy hair, sun on my skin. i love it all

7. Can you do a handstand or cartwheel? nah

8. What color are your nails? they’re not painted at the moment

9. If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be? probably something that looks like a henna design near my hair line

10. What is something you find romantic? forehead kisses, unexpected hand holding, surprises, making plans for our future

11. Are you happy? very

12. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad? thinking about the months to come makes me happy

13. Dogs or Cats? both always

14. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library? any except a night club for the most part

15. What is your style? sometimes sporty, sometimes cute with dresses, most of the time leggings with a cozy shirt lol

16. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be? climbing into bed with my honey

17. Are you in a relationship or single? relationship 

18. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now? the way he makes me laugh, how he holds me, that he can make everything feel alright, his honesty, and outlook on life. and obviously his cute ass face ;p

19. If you could replace your partner/best friend with a celebrity of your choice, would you? Who with? honestly no one

20. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? If so then what? nope

21. How did you celebrate last Halloween? stayed in and studied with honey

22. Have you recently made any big decisions?  eh not really

23. Were you ever in a school play? yes and choir for 13 years straight

24. What movie would you use to describe your life? u got me thinking rlly hard but uhh

25. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it? waiting for the right time in life

26. Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…” the last piece of pizza with. o wait i doooo

27. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex? the pettiness, the way they hate on other girls for no reason, thinking they’re better than everyone. like can we all just love and be nice thanks 

28. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex? umm how some don’t understand womens rights/how women aren’t equal to them in society

29. What is the best thing that has happened to you this week? when aj bought me girl scout cookies and pjs heh

30. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it? donald. trump. (more like scared but)

31. How long was your longest relationship? 3 and a half years and counting xo

32. Have you ever been in love? yes

33. Are you currently in love? yes

34. Why did your last relationship end? we weren’t right for each other. 

35. What jewelry are you wearing right now, and where did you get it? the ring and necklace my honey gave me

36. When was the last time you cried and why? today bc this guys wife died in the show we were watching :( 

37. Name someone pretty. @my cat adele and lacey

38. What did you receive last Valentines Day? some panties, chocolates, a lush gift set, a stuffie and some hello kitty stuff

39. Do you get jealous easily? nope

40. Have you ever been cheated on? probably idk 

41. Do you trust your partner/best friend? with all of my heart 

42. Ever had detention? yes in high school yikes

43. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city? i like the city but id also like somewhere more in a neighborhood.

44. What do people call you? mostly jenn and jenny. at work I’m rlly known as jennbunn/jennybunnie (bc i do really nice hair buns lol) and jenny from the block. aj and i have a billion nicknames for each other lol

45. What was the last book you read?  the poetry book Dirty Pretty Things

46. How big of a nerd/dork are you? i can be a dork sometimes *pushes up glasses* 

47. What kind of music do you listen to? everything. really. hip hop, rap, country, oldies, classical, punk rock

48. How tall are you? 5 feet 4 inches

49. Do you like kids? in they’re well behaved lol

50. Favorite fruits? watermelon, strawberry, pineapple yum

51. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? jeans 

52. What’s your earliest memory? after my parents divorced we had to go see my dad for visits every other weekend and i remember that. i was only 2. 

53. Ever had a poem or song written about you or to you? yes :*

54. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind. i love taking pictures. my iPad/iphone has to be the biggest gb 

55. Do you have a collection of anything? makeup!!!!! so much makeup. and duckies

56. Do you save money or spend it? i try to do both

57. What would your dream house be like? huge. beautiful and modern with a big yard with an inground pool, volleyball court, basketball court and lots of grass space. the inside would have enough bedrooms for friends/family to stay over if need be. so minimum probably 4. id have my own room that could have my vanity and all of my makeup in it. the master would have a giant closet and the master bathroom would have a double wide shower and huge jacuzzi tub. we’d have an office/library, a workout room, a music room, a beautiful kitchen and a basement with a game room and a theater/movie room. (i love home design lol) 

58. What top 5 things make you the angriest? people being unnecessary, rude people, people always trying to start something, pettiness, people being mean to animals 

59. What top 5 things always brings a smile to your face? aj ma. the beach. when my makeups on point. payday. my kitties. shopping. 

60. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? ig I’m getting fired

61. You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? id tell aj and no one else. id live life luxuriously and happily. id be a tad afraid but at least I’m prepared and able to live the rest of my days to the fullest. 

62. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. love

63. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Hawaii 

64. Do you like the beach? i love the beach

65. Ever sleep on the couch or a bed with someone special? all the time

66. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it! joyce

67. Do you talk to yourself? sometimes 

68. Describe your hair. pretty long, light brown, wavy/curly depending how it drys, soft, and thick

69. What is the meaning of life. To find what you love and who you love and to do whatever that is and enjoy it with whoever that is. 

70. What is your ideal partner like? well his name is aj ma 

71. Do you want to get married? yes

72. Do you want to have kids? I’m honestly not sure yet.

73. Like or dislike your family? like for the most part. some of them tho…yikes

74. Are you Chunky or Slim? thick as fuck

75. Would you consider yourself smart? id say so

76. What would you change about your life? can i be a millionaire lol

77. Religious or Not? not at all

78. You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? this wouldn’t happen soo 

79. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? not at all ;p

80. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? yes my honey

81. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? in bed, being naughty and then sleeping all cuddled up

82. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? he has a key but id still open the door if i was right there 

83. Do you like when people play with your hair? loveee it

84. Do you like bubble baths? yes so much

85. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop? yup for an out tail light but no ticket

86. Have you ever danced in the rain? yes and kissed. its great

87. Do you trust anyone with your life? aj ma

88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning? did aj wake up for class? 

89. If money wasn’t an issue, what top 10 places would you travel to? (You get to stay at each place for a week) hawaii, italy, paris, vietnam, australia, new york, rio, san francisco, washington, mexico. 

90. How was your day today? pretty good

91. Play an instrument?  nah

92. Describe the what you think of the ocean. fascinating, kinda scary but oh so beautiful. 

93. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? both yes

94. Honestly, are things how you wanted them to be? even better.

95. Do you have a mean bitchy scary side? if need be lmao

96. When are you vulnerable? when I’m on my period

97. How much free time do you have? a pretty good amount

98. Do you like to go hiking? i hope to this summer!

99. Odd or Even Numbers? odd

100. Would you ever go sky diving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities? I really would try any of those things as long as aj was by my side

Thanks for asking!!!